#in my mind the papers in the journal are basically | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sapphicautumn · 2 months ago

Text

Afterthought. EW.

synopsis: Ellie and you go on your regular scheduled patrol, but when danger is found, it leaves you both in shambles - realising you could lose each other at any time.

Pairing: Bestfriend!ellie x Fem reader. WLW

Contents: fluff, friends2lovers? Smut. Emotional constipation. Swearing, and whatever else lmk if I forgor 💀

A/N: hey! This is actually my first ever time writing on tumblr, I’m usually a silent reader of the tags, so this is a bit nerve wracking for me lol. There’s not a lot of Bella Ramsey Ellie fics on here- so I hope you like it. I am writing on my phone as I’m currently on the train ride home- ignore any typos, that’s on my tired ass. If you enjoy, please reblog and thank you for reading 🥨

Men and minors DNI

“You don’t need to collect every flower you see, you know that? Right?”

Ellie’s voice teased, guiding shimmer as she rode the brown horse around you, eyes gazing down as she tried to bite a smile back.

“Let me be” your voice hummed, picking up dandelions from the ground. You kept a book back at home in Jackson with stamped flowers you find on patrol. It always provided some form of comfort? That although there’s so much evil in this current situation of the world, beauty still grows.

Ellie didn’t get it. She didn’t get a lot of things, but that’s why you love her.

“Cmonnn get back on the damn horse, patrol will last forever the longer you drag it out” Her voice rang, pulling the lead of the horse to a halt. She always spoke in what others would call a sarcastic tone, but it was what you knew her to always sound like. It’s just Ellie, she’s not intimidating to you. Quite the contrary.

You both met 3 years ago now, when you had joined Jackson with just your mom in search of a safe haven. Being close in age, you found yourself hanging with Dina first, who eventually introduced you to her own group of friends; Jesse & Ellie.

You all would hang out every night basically, spending time at each others houses, or at the tipsy bison, or even sometimes hiding behind jesses house while he attempted to roll joints that never quite came out the way you guys wanted.

“You should be kicked out of the town for that” dina would say, gesturing to the pathetic roll that laid in front of her.

Somewhere along the way, Jesse and Dina found themselves getting closer. Them starting to date wasn’t a shock to Ellie and you. It was obvious how much they liked each other. Previous group activities turned into paired plans of just you and her, it provided you to grow quite close.

She was always gruff and protective of her own self. The walls she built were tall and made of thick brick. Although not thick enough apparently, as your soft exterior was able to chisel in, seeing a side of Ellie most of the town doesn’t take time to know.

If anyone were to ask, you’d say Ellie is your best friend, your patrol buddy, Curtis to your viper. The list goes on.

Ellie on the other hand, …..feels like a perverted creep, as there’s a side you could have never guessed possessed the girls mind….and journal.

“She’s too sweet…I don’t even think she’s into girls and I’m being so weird!!!!! I probably scare her omg, don’t realise I look at her too long until she says sumthing…She didn’t want to hang out tonight. I think her being “sick” was an excuse”

Her hand would cramp as she pressed the pencil harder to the paper, writing at her desk in the comfort of Joel’s garage.

“We were at the bar just yesterday. I walked behind her to get to my seat. Her hair smelled like vanilla. How does she do that?? Jesse and her talked about some stupid show idk the name. He looked at her like he wanted her. He has dina. I’m in no position to be jealous but LITERALLY fuck off j-“

Ellie’s eyes widened, the tip of her pencil snapping with the force of which she wrote. It’s time for bed anyways.

She never planned on telling you, in fact, she got used to the idea of dying a single lady, if it meant you also died one. Think among the lines of “if I can’t have you, no one will”. Yeah. That’s what she’s got going on.

So she bit her tongue anytime she saw you dress up cute for events, trying to be nonchalant whenever you’d bake her and Joel banana bread, or when she’d get home after a night at the bar, trying to smack out the imaginary of what you’d look like on her bed from within her brain. What the fuck is wrong with you? And why’re you so ….you? She almost wish you weren’t in Jackson so she wouldn’t have to worry about having a crush that felt so juvenile it made her itch to the core.

Lips. Are. Sealed.

The two of you rode shimmer down the designated path, the grass worn down from how many people have came down this exact way within the past few weeks.

“I think we should check out the abandoned house over there” your hand would gesture across before resuming to holding Ellie’s waist.

“I mean…we really don’t need to, you insist on all these side quests and-”

“Ellie I know damn well you got nothing better to do once we get back except for sleep. I wanna go check. Maybe there’s something cool in there?” You interrupt.

With a scoff, she parks the horse across the way, hopping off and absent mindlessly reaching up to help you slide off, her fingers gently holding your hand and hip. “There we go..”

You smile gently, adjusting your coat and clearing your voice. “Well. Let’s go”, your boots guide you to the old, broken down wooded house, the appearance of it so ghastly that it’s leaving Ellie wondering if it’ll collapse on you both.

“What do you think is in there?” She began, a little hint of snark in her tone as she protectively followed right behind you, hands wanting to keep you next to her, but she digressed to them on her holster.

“I dunno” you shrug, eyes looking back at the girl. “Some porn?”

“You’re a fucking idiot. I think Eugene’s old stash is plenty, that fucker had like 40 tapes in that cabinet and-”

“Wait shut the fuck up” you wave your hand at her, listening to some distant sound upstairs. You smirk.

“This is a bad idea” she whispers, “maybe we should just head back? Don’t go upstairs”

“Oh I’m going upstairs”

Your Ellie’s biggest migraine with legs. Of course- she follows you. The stairs creak, making her eyes scrunch with cringe, thinking about the possibility of a clicker being upstairs, hearing every footstep you both made. She tapped her flash light, illuminating the area as they reached the top.

You pulled out your pistol, holding it cautiously. Despite your soft exterior, you lived for this shit. Ellie would think you were the immune one with the fearlessness you displayed on patrols.

You scanned all the rooms, finding to be disappointed. “Ellie?”

She left the bathroom, the cabinet was raided, there’s nothing even here worth the trip. “This place is empty”

You huff, looking around. “But i heard something, I swear. It sounded like footsteps”

Once Ellie walked into, what you both assumed used to be a bedroom, she met back up with you. “Maybe it was wind? The windows broken, and the wood is old”

With a sigh, you examine the space, lowering the gun. Your eyes dart to the beside table, opening it. There’s some old photographs inside. “Els, cmere”

She knelt on the creaky floor, her flashlight shining on the Polaroids you pulled out. Ellie couldn’t help but smile at them, as such few photos showcased a story to the house they sat in.

“A family lived here” you whispered, seeing a man and woman, smiling as they bundled together for the picture. A few shuffles and you come across another of a newborn baby laying on the same fabric of the bed your back presses against. “Aw…”

Ellie’s lips curled, “I wonder what happened to them” she whispered

“Me too….” You flipped the back to see the date. 2012. These people could be in Jackson? Or somewhere far away…or maybe you’ve already encountered their infected forms on prior patrols. It always is a sickening reminder that the brainless threats you kill daily used to be people with stories. Someone’s baby.

Ellie noticed the tone change, her hand brushing out to comfort you. “I’m sure they are ok, don’t dwell on it.” Her tatted arm rubbed your back, making you shiver a bit.

“Maybe.”

She took the photos and put them back in the drawer, shutting it. “Let’s just go, Tommy is gonna be mad we took another detour.” As she stood, she exhaled, “damn, my knees”

Your eyes glanced as she walked out, snickering quietly at how much of an old man this 19 year old was. “I told you to stop sitting on your legs, it is a bad habit”

With a roll of eyes, ellie waves you off, the two of you making the way back down the stairs you came up earlier. “Sorry you didn’t get your porn. If it helps I’m sure Jesse has something he’d be willing to give up”

You smile knowingly, “you always act like I hang out with him. He’s with Dina, dumbass”

“You two aren’t close? You seem it” she mumbled, almost annoyingly. Her pistol sliding back into the leg holster.

You watched her back, thinking. “You think I like him or something?”

“Did I say that?” Her hands held up in defence.

“I feel like your kinda hinting at that, els. I wouldn’t do that to Dina. Besides, Jesse is farrrrr from…my type”

She raised a brow, mumbling “your type?” Her body turned to face you, but there you were already wandering into another part of the room. Your like a dog that needs to be guided where to go on it’s walk. “Can you just come back here, damnit”

“Look!” you held up the yarn, smiling. You had a little hobby of knitting blankets…hats…scarfs. You’d even make stuff for the damn horses at the stables. Finding yarn was equivalent to ellie finding weed. Very exciting.

Ellie sighed, “ok great, that’s great, good. Now let’s-”

“There’s some more over here” your feet led you behind the wall, into the shared room. You opened up the storage closet, coming face to face with something you’ve never seen before. Before you could pull your gun back out, the infected pushes you across the room to the floor, jumping on you. Your arms tried to push and shield, “ELLIE!!!”

The girl jumped at the noise, running around the corner to see what she thought was a clicker on top of you. “What the fuck!!!!??” She panted, quickly fumbling to grab anything, her knife is what she reached first.

Your screams intensified as the creature leaned down, your faces were close, you couldn’t identify the thing, you were too fucking focused on NOT getting bit.

Within seconds, Ellie’s knife is brought around to the throat, slicing it and tossing the lifeless body to the side, the room quiet except for your pants, your brush with possible death leaving you in a state of shock.

You’ve patrolled a lot, and never been this close.

Almost too nervous to ask, ellie kneeled and spoke, shakily, “fuck….you bit? You ok??” Her heartbeat was in her ears. This is why she wanted to leave, not even be here in the first place.

“Y-yea-yeah. I- sorry, I j-”

“Shh I got you” she folded the knife, frowning as her hands helped scoop you up to your feet. Legs almost buckling.

“I don’t know what that is” you whisper, looking down at the bleeding out infected now on the wood floor.

“Me neither,…I’ve never seen that.”

“It was like..h-hiding, infected d-dont hide”

She simply nods, too focused on your state of being. “Cmon…”

The two of you are led out back to the fresh air. Shimmer eating some of the grass before Ellie beckons the horse over. With the natural lighting she identifies how pale your face was, heart breaking, feeling like she didn’t protect you enough. Her eyes scan over again, reassuring herself you didn’t get bit or scratched.

Her arms helped hoist you upon the saddle of the animal, before scooping herself up in front of you. “Just hold on to me, I’m heading back”

The ride was quiet for the most part, your hands trembling as they secured yourself around Ellie’s hips.

“How we doing?” She mumbled, making it over the hill. Jackson’s walls were within eyes reach.

“I don’t feel good”

Ellie bit the inside of her cheek, focusing on the horses lead. “Yeah that was….that was scary huh?” She whispered, “I’m sorry, I’m glad you’re ok, physically”

Your head leaned against the back of your friends denim green jacket, still feeling a bit spooked. You lived a sheltered lifestyle within the town, mostly working in the stables. Patrol wasn’t weekly for you, ellie brought you along sometimes because of her own selfish reasons, to be close with you.

Now that stupid crush of hers almost got you killed. She almost lost you, the realisation hitting her as she checked inside the gates, helping you off the horse.

“Your back early, did you log the sheets?” Maria spoke, coming over.

“I- we had an incident” ellie spoke, helping adjust your belongings on your body without turning to see the woman. “We’re fine, but there’s definitely some…weird shit going on near the lake up north. Maybe send a group out tomorrow”

Maria was confused by the ominous wording, before even getting to question further, ellie was leading you away. The older woman sighed and looked at her husband, Tommy, handing him the lead of the horse so he could put shimmer in her pen and feed her.

Unlocking the door, she gently helped you inside her garage turned mini apartment a la ellie. Joel let her have her own space, it wasn’t huge, it wasn’t great, but it was Ellie’s, and it was comforting. You both have spent a lot of time in here before now, but for some reason as your boots guide you inside, it feels smaller.

The poor girl is more frightened than you are, patting out the bed, frantic about you. “Here, lay down. Do you want something to eat? Uh, fuck maybe I have some crackers and jam, let me check”

Gaining the courage to speak, you raise your hand, body laid on the bed. “Ellie, I’m fine. Just give me a second.”

She swallows a little hard, nodding. “Sorry.”

You slide the black boots off, tossing them to the floor as your knees are guided to your chest, thinking about what could’ve happened if you did get bit.

Ellie sits in her desk chair, watching you carefully. Eyes grazing along your fragile figure, selfishly so.

“Would you have shot me?”

She blinks “what?”

Taking a moment to look over at her, the garage dimly lit. “If I got bit, and turned into one of those ….things…” your voice shakes a little, “would you have shot me?”

Ellie’s a bit taken back, she takes her coat off and puts it on the hanger nearby, her hands rubbing her thighs in thought. “I…I dunno….I probably couldn’t…i-if im being honest”

“I don’t talk about it much, but it worries me, that one day I won’t be able to escape them” you admit, knees hugged gently as you rest your head against them. “If you weren’t there-….”

She walked over cautiously and sat in front of you, the cushion of the bed sinking with her weight. “But I was…yeah?”

The emotions come out, you felt dramatic. It’s easy to forgot how dangerous shit gets when you stay in your room and collect flowers. “Yea….thank you. For uh..saving me” a stupid stray tear falls down your cheek. You wipe it quickly, knowing you’ve never cried in front of Ellie before. She smiles softly, trying to reassure the pretty girl sitting in front of her.

“I’d never let you get hurt…I’ll always protect you”

You flutter your eyes shut. Something inside you stirring.

“Unfortunately you’re stuck with me” ellie added on, her finger reaching out to rub the side of her wrist, experimentally.

A quiet laugh escaped your mouth, watery eyes opening once more to meet Ellie’s gaze. “That’s not a bad thing…I mean, I quite literally can’t exist out there on my own. It’s kinda pathetic” you sniffled, looking down at Ellie’s comforter. The plaid sheets giving your eyes something to look at rather than her.

“Hey…it’s not pathetic. It’s not ..it’s not fair we have to live this way. Some people aren’t used to it, doesn’t make you weak for not being prepared”

The silky wave of her voice made something in your heart flutter, something about Ellie being gentle with you made you become absolute putty. It was rare she didn’t showcase her tough exterior. I suppose it’s safe to say the close call shot some fear into the both of you.

“I don’t wanna lose you.”

You watched her again, swallowing. “I’ll be more careful”

With a soft nod, she links her pinky with yours, her gaze down at the interlocked fingers. A soft smile appearing across her face. Truth? She’s scared shitless right now. Vulnerable is not her thing, but it feels fitting with you. Why? She’s fucked.

Sometimes it’s known that heightened emotions of fear can make people think about deeper evaluations of their life. The room was filled with thoughts, racing hearts and hormones.

Your eyes met your joint pinky finger, you brought up your hands slowly, pressing your lips to them.

Ellie watched. Carefully.

You made sure to look at her as you turned her hand, opening it as your lips pressed against the home of her palm. Ellie almost nutted.

“Ellie, I just-”

Before your whispers could become a finished sentence, ellie sprung forward and captured your bottom lip within hers, suckling gently, her calloused and roughed up hands cupping the soft contrast of your rose coloured cheeks.

Your hands immediately shot up to hold each of her wrists, pulling your head back softly with a pant. Your eyes met. There wasn’t awkwardness, and in fact, you didn’t question why your best friend kissed you. There was an unspoken understanding. An unspoken need, you could say. Ellie’s gentle pants met yours, pressing her forehead against you.

Her body heat gave off a wave of arousal within you, one you never knew even existed. Your hands gently lifted her chin, nodding as you watched her eyes….her nose…her lips.

You kissed again, and it was different than the first one. Hungry mouths clashed against one another as you both fought for control. Needing to be closer to each other…to feel you. To feel her.

She ever so gently shoved you back against her pillows. Oh how many times she’s felt dirty, imagining how you’d lay here with her hands rubbing over you, making you feel good. Her own prideful narcissism picturing how she would make you cum, assuming you’d become obsessed and drunken by her touch, and her touch alone.

The imagery compared to what’s real now, is nothing. It’s better, way better. Your hair was so fucking beautiful and sprawled against her pillow, chest rising with uneven breaths as Ellie moved, pressing her knee between your jean covered core. The way your eyelashes fluttered up at her with desire, mouth slightly ajar.

How would she ever move on from that?

Her chapped lips met your soft ones once more, hand gently rubbing along your jaw and neck as she moved to kiss below your ear. With quiet but desperate pants, your hand holding her nape. “Ellie…yes” your voice was airy and sweet, fuck, the sound alone could make Ellie willingly kneel and provide for you. She’d become a housewife and shit, if it meant she’d be able to hear the softness of the moans leaving your fucking lips every day.

She attacked your neck, a mix of kissing, licking and gentle bites. Her knee rutted into you, all you could do is allow it; hands gripping Ellie’s tshirt, as if she’d melt into you. It was hardly recognisable, the movements your body followed, chasing after Ellie’s graze, head tilting back into the pillow, eyebrows raised and eyes shut. “I need you to touch me”

She sat back, you could almost see some of the nervousness return to her gaze for a slight moment before she shook, nodding. “What do you want I’ll do anything ….” She sounds so fucking needy, you could basically feel your underwear sticking to you at this point. “Cmon baby tell me and I’ll do it”

The whispers kissed your ear, you frantically found words, spitting them out in what you thought sounded pathetic. “I- want you to-” you sat up, pausing as you unbuttoned your jeans, overwhelmed.

“Yeah?” She asked, wanting to make sure you wanted her touch. You frantically nodded, taking her hand and guiding it to your jean waistline. She exhales a shakily laugh, almost not believing the power she has right now. She sat up, fingers tugging the fabric down your hips.

The jeans were thrown off the side of the bed, mixing with Ellie’s laundry scattered across the floor. You were the one to take your underwear off, adding it to the pile.

Ellie almost had an aneurism. You were soaked, dripping down the inner part of your thigh- part of her mind wanted to take a mental image and begin drawing it into her horny journal to save it for later. Another part of her wanted to believe she’s the first to be lucky enough to taste it.

“Oh…fuck…” tough fingers ran their way from your hips …to your thighs, parting them more. She had so many things she wanted to say, to make you feel important and loved.

She would tell you later. Her lips met your pussy.

Arching your chest up on the bed, you couldn’t even bare to look down at the girl between your legs, you’re best friend. The moan you let out was of pleasure, but more importantly one of relief. “Aaah…Mmph” hips squirmed around, bucking your folds further against Ellie’s tongue.

To be fair, she’s never eaten a girl out before, but she’s too prideful to admit she learned how from those damn porn tapes Eugene hoarded. She would tell herself she’d probably do it better than a guy, after all, she had the same parts. She knows what feels good.

And yeah, she’s right to think that, with the way you desperately cling to the sheet below you, eyes stuck up on her ceiling. Tiny glow in the dark star stickers are up there, capturing your gaze.

Ellie worked you, moaning against your core, moving her head side to side to try something she saw before, hoping it felt as amazing as it looked. Your arousal tasted sweet, blessing her tongue like dessert and her nose like incense.

She even closed her eyes, focusing on making you cum, the goal to taste it right here on her bed making her dizzy. She rutted her own hips against the mattress, selfishly getting off on your reaction.

“Ellie…els…baby” your whimpers were shy, gathering strength to prop the pillow, sitting up and looking down. You clenched at the sight, she was so into it, sucking your soul out as if she’d never have the opportunity again after this night ended.

You lazily tilted your head to your shoulder, furrowed eyebrows and mouth open, you reached your hands out to ever so lightly brush the brown hair out of Ellie’s face. “That’s good, right…right there ok?”

Praise only made her tongue work harder, despite the tired muscle aching. She made the mistake of gazing up at you, capturing how fucked out you looked. “Mmmph” the vibration of Ellie’s moan against your pussy made you jolt, legs threatening to close against either side of her head. “No…keep them open” her face backed up from your core- chin glistening with your wetness.

Ellie doubled down, using her elbow to keep your thighs apart and out of her way, her focused expression directly on her two fingers, gathering slick as they enter your needy entrance.

“Ahhfuckohmygod” your hand clings to her shoulder as Ellie begins to finger you. She reached upward, knowing what felt good on her as she confidently aimed for a ridged patch amongst your warm walls.

You clenched tightly as she found it. A burning in your lower stomach as you’ve never felt before. “Shit-”

“Mmm…’s that it? Found it didn’t i?” She cockily mumbled, more so to herself. Her own pants becoming uncomfortable, she was so wet.

You bucked up, meeting her fingers thrusts each time. Ellie went deeper, you could see the beads of sweat developing on her hairline. She was determined to make you cum harder than you thought you could.

“Stop closing them baby…” she spit, frustrated as she tried to pay attention to the way your hole sucked her fingers in so needily. You’ve been needing this for a while. Poor thing.

“I’m gonna cum” you whisper, tears filling up the bottom of your vision, making her appearance blurry. You blissfully shut them, mouth agape as endless, nonsensical, words and please fled out.

If you were to look at yourself right now without the horny facade blocking your thinking, you’d probably be ashamed.

But right now? You’re loving it.

Ellie’s strong tattooed arm leans up and pressed on your lower stomach, adding pressure to the spot she reached inside. By the sound of your choked out gasp, she was unsure if she was hurting you. “Oh” she panicked and began to move away, your grasp grabbed her and kept her in place. “No, no no no keep going I’m gonna cum”

Oh. Oh.

With the reassurance, the brunette continues her ministrations, moving to kitty lick against your clit, the feeling of her all fucking over and in you was overwhelming. You cried, not out of sadness, out of desperation.

You gripped her for dear life, hands leaning a bright white mark against the skin of her forearm. “Ohhh I’m cumming”

You lifted your hips a bit, ellie pushed them down as she finished the job, feeling the warmth and movement of your body finishing. It was beautiful, she did that, and she was gonna be cocky about this until the day she died.

“Yesyesyes…yes….”

Ellie smirked against you at the needy tone of your voice, she felt you pulsate and tighten, her wrist soaked…the bed beneath you no longer sanitary to sleep on. She looked up again to see your overwhelmed and exhausted face, she panted, removing her fingers as she pressed her forehead against your thigh, holding onto you as she came.

She came from WATCHING YOU cum. Ellie Williams, everybody.

You would’ve poked fun if you didn’t find it so hot. She rode her hips out against the bed, softly whispering something you couldn’t make out.

Letting the moment sit for a while, your hand gently rubbed her arm, beckoning her to come up to you, she obliged and carefully sat over you, rubbing the skin under your white shirt. “Are you ok…?” There’s your ellie.

With a nod, “I’m ok…I’m good. Are you?” You raised a brow, fingers brushing under her eyes and over her cheek. Ellie nodded, smiling shyly. How dare she be shy right now. “Yeah…”

She cutely nuzzles her nose against yours, fluttering her eyes shut. She peppered gentle soft kisses along your face. Who knew she was a sap after sex….

There’s still some shock within the atmosphere of the poorly lit garage. The air smelling of sweat and sex. This will need to be talked about, but there’s an absent agreement to just be present tonight. Ellie stands up, shakily guiding her legs over to the bathroom as you laid, trying to understand what just happened.

After a moment, you hear the water run. She comes out with a wet cloth, sitting beside you with hesitant eyes. She gestures the cloth up lazily and mumbles, eyes going to your pussy. “Gonna wash…”

The coldness almost makes you hiss, but you welcome the soft and delicate act of her cleaning up. “Thanks…”. The cloth is tossed to the basket, before she climbs next to you, putting a clean blanket over your lower body. Her doe eyes scan over your face, your features as you mimic the action.

“I mean..you’re staying right?” Ellie’s tone is an airy…blissfully dreamy whisper.

You bite your bottom lip, fingers tracing the girls jawline. “I can’t really walk right now to be honest. I think it was your plan to keep me here.” The joke makes Ellie’s eyes crinkle with laughter, her palm rubbing the curve of your hip.

“Alright…I’ll get you some clothes…we can get comfy and sleep…” her voice is hushed against your neck.

Your fingers ran over the back of Ellie’s shirt, eyelashes fluttering your vision as the calmness of the moment overtook you. Suddenly the biggest issue was no longer almost dying earlier, it was falling in love with your best friend.

You both were hopeless, and maybe it wasn’t the worst thing to happen.

224 notes · View notes

honeytonedhottie · 1 year ago

Text

ways to look after ur mental well being⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧋

mental health is definitely the most important thing that u should work on and prioritize in everyday life so here r some ways that u can look after urself ✨🗒️💕

PEN AND PAPER ;

pen and paper is ur best friend, being able to articulate ur thoughts and get them down on paper is a great way to practice self awareness and is a good skill to have in general.

its best not to keep things harbored or bottled up in ur mind and if ur looking to get into therapy a great place to start getting comfy with ur emotions and thoughts is journalling.

this includes things like keeping a diary, doing shadow work, or prompted journalling. just being able to get comfortable and aware of whats going on in ur head is rly good for you.

CHECK-UPS ;

make a habit of checking up on yourself to make sure that ur doing everything that u need to be doing to function at ur best, to make sure that ur feeling okay and making adequate time for you.

some rly good ways to have little check-ups is just preparing some questions to ask urself sometimes (how do i feel?) is the most basic one but asking urself that does help put ur feelings into perspective.

METICULOUS ;

oftentimes, when we neglect our physical care, we can start to feel the effects of that in our mental health and our mood which is why i think that self care is such a major aspect in mental health.

sometimes when we hit rock bottom in our mental health/healing journey, doing self care can seem tedious and like a daunting task. its important to prepare an alternate routine for times like this when u absolutely MUST do a little something.

to find a good place to start i recommend my posts : the feel better formula. 🍰💗

KEEP A BOOKLET OF REMEDIES ;

sometimes it makes me feel better if i have a little booklet that tells me how to treat symptoms that i might feel, whether thats physical or mental. doing so makes me feel like i have a plan. some notes from my little booklet of remedies include

cuz sometimes, all your missing in ur mental health equation is one thing and its important to know urself and what u need, bcuz you are your own best doctor sometimes.

ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS ;

sometimes we need to be uncomfortable to be comfortable. some questions or some things that i wanna come to terms with/when i need to call myself out on something. THATS LOWKEY UNCOMFORTABLE.

when im doing shadow work and digging deep, THATS UNCOMFORTABLE. but its what needs to be done in order for me to move forward on my journey as a person.

with all this being said its important to never lose sight of urself and to be ur biggest protector, look out for yourself, do what u need to do to heal, HAPPY HEALING JOURNEY GIRLIES ✨

429 notes · View notes

eliossun · 7 months ago

Text

LAST SHOT - first meet

synopsis : interning at a random ship in space sounds like a great idea for your paper. don't you think? part -> 1 | other chapters -> 2 3 ?

characters : anya, swansea, daisuke, curly, jimmy, gn!reader (daisuke x reader if u squint)

content : filler. lots of filler. lots of people being people. the series is sort of a fix it fic (?) only warning is mention of.. jimmy... eugh

wc : 3.4k+

before you read, reader is : cold, non expressive, and a psychology major...

close to an oc.. but also not an oc? features of the reader is never described, and i wrote it as gender neutral as possible

- you were an intern in the pink pony express.

- .. more specifically, a university student with honours in their bachelor's degree in psychology. you did plan on going back to get a masters once you're done with this internship. the pay wasn't much, but since it covered your living expenses for a year, and since the internship being valid enough to put into a research paper (after confirming there's psychological tests in the ship) you say this wouldn't be so bad.

- ..or so you thought.

- the first day you boarded the ship, you were baffled by the lack of security measures of what, or what you can't bring to the spaceship. sure there were manuals, but the actual boarding of the ship? no security, at all.

- you knew the conditions that the company puts their employees in from online forums.. so you tried to prepare beforehand with a backpack. woo! (it took you hours to recount your basic needs)

- you managed to sneak on board your little backpack (it was huge) and thankfully, you managed to stash it away in your room before anyone else noticed.

- .. and thankfully the directions were easy to read as well, otherwise you'd be lost.

- you don't want to bring all that around the tour of the ship either, so this would be the most efficient solution.

- pretending to be waiting in front of the ship unnoticed was also easy. however, imagine the surprise when another intern trips into the spaceship, last second.

- the captain - you find his name to be curly, only managed to give you a brief welcome, before asking the nurse of the ship - she introduced herself as anya - to show you around.

- whilst going around, the other intern tried to start conversations with you. which briefly went as follows:

"hey! my name's daisuke, yours?"

"y/n."

"woah! cool name!"

"..."

"..not much of a talker...it seems... hehe.."

- you only nod in response.

- anya seems to have read the room, and immediately guided you away to introduce you to two other people instead. swansea the mechanic, and jimmy, the copilot.

- however the atmosphere persisted. you stayed in silence most of the time. daisuke was close to starting another conversation with you, but seemed to back out last second.

- you feel rather bad for being cold towards him. but your body is way too exhausted to respond. maybe you should’ve brought some painkillers as well..

- ... or perhaps you could pay off your sleep debt on this trip as well. ahh… a faithful wish..

- that aside, you also found out you would be interning under anya. she was soft spoken, and overall, you have a feeling that you wouldn't mind sticking by her side for the next.. year.. or so.

- having a singular nurse for a 6-man crew isn't too bad. but now with her teaching you the basics, you think that you’re capable of taking some of her responsibilities. (you're glad to take some weight off her back)

- you agreed on weekly psych checks with the crew (much to swansea’s and jimmy’s dismay) so you’re ready to keep your journal very, very filled.

- the routine was simple. you'd wake up, check your stash of items which included - airtight sealed snacks which consisted of a lot of sweets, your journal, a lot of thrifted power banks for your ds to charge on, your ds of course, a taser, a gun, and a personal emotional support voicemail on one of your mp3 player - then go into the lounge for breakfast, and finally, follow anya around for the rest of your day.

- sometimes you would bump into swansea and daisuke while you're passing by the utility room. and sometimes daisuke stops you for a small talk

- you eventually warm up to him. he's awfully smiley for someone close to your age, then you find out he doesn't go to college, and your question was quickly answered.

- after a bit more small talk, you realise that you both were from the same town (what a small world)

- he mentions that he missed eating a specific candy - it’s called sunshines, silly name, you know - which you could only get from the bakery near your town, and you look away, fully knowing that you had the same candy in your bag.

- .. oh well. maybe another time.

- your interactions with swansea was rather limited.

- you both see each other and simply choose to ignore each other's existence.

- perhaps it's a part of you that sees through him. and he sees through you too.

- silent understanding is a better word, perhaps.

- you both only talked on the few occasions where you were there to take your psychology evaluation tests. he keeps complaining about daisuke and whatnot - but you know that look in his eyes. that’s not hate.

- after a while, he stops complaining - resorting to grunts and short answers. perhaps tired of attempting to trick you.

- quick yet blunt. the way you prefer things to be.

- you sometimes offer to read out daisuke’s psych test to him. only the parts where you deem as okay to say, though. mostly parts where you ask how his internships are, and him answering with praises towards swansea.

- swansea refuses each time, but you read some of them anyway. when daisuke complains about swansea though, you read out his response to "how was your day". which mainly consisted of his joys of the day.

- swansea pretends he doesn't like it. once again, you know that look in his eyes.

- you thought he would be done with acting around you, but you suppose, ego can't be beaten sometimes

- you really like their father-son-like dynamic. you just hope daisuke doesn't let the old man's words get to him.

- after doing curly's and jimmy's psych test (jimmy needed a lot of convincing in order for him to take these seriously) you find that they were friends that go way, way back.

- you're unsure if curly could see it, but you could tell that jimmy admires him. that man admires curly a bit too much. you're familiar with situations like these. you just hope it won't tip towards envy. oh who you were kidding - it's almost too late now.

- you finally realise why you felt uncomfortable around jimmy after the first month.

- the envy and self depreciation is overwhelming, and you truly applaud anyone who holds a conversation for longer than five minutes. (maybe you should applaud yourself as well)

- self destruction is the only path he’s going towards, and you would help him if he wasn’t so.. stubborn. for a lack of a better word.

- but overall, this trip isn't too bad so far. right?

- its been a month and a half.

- you and anya had formed some sort of sibling relationship..?

- it started with her seeing one of your stickers you had placed on one of your items, and her nostalgia of having them on her cup as well.

- you both began to talk more from there. continuous stories about your daily life (which isn’t the most pleasant) but you got to know each other better from there.

- you were immediately stunned at her determination and passion for nursing. - and perhaps, after this all, you could plausibly send a recommendation in for her.

- you didn’t tell her that, of course. you weren’t able to guarantee it, and you wouldn’t want to give false hope.

- you find that she was incredibly good at games after you lent her your ds. and all of sudden, her competitiveness on game board nights didn’t look so out of place after all.

- she had encouraged you to get out of your shell.. despite many protests from you. (it.. sort of works…?)

- curly, after more interactions, seems to be a great guy. great leader, optimistic despite.. well. everything else, really. you’d be miserable if you had to live outside of earth half your life.

- the very brief interactions you have with him were pleasant.

- a bit concerning to think he’s carrying all this responsibility for all these years though. perhaps a little rest could do - is what you said.

- he only responded with a chuckle, and a ‘it is what it is’.

- there isn’t any other response you would’ve expected from him, anyway.

- you just hope that once he does find the end of this career, he’ll find something more.. lighter.

- maybe a baker. maybe a craftsman. maybe something else entirely, all you know that this whole leadership thing might end up causing him more harm than good.

- which is what jimmy turned out to be.

- whenever it’s your turn to do jimmy’s evaluations, you always groan a bit.

- you show a bit of interest, and he goes the mile to talk about himself. not quite boasting - but very much putting others beneath his shoes to seem… “relatable” to you.

- you only nod. you give him a small phrase from time to time, but otherwise - it’s all nods.

- the issue with jimmy is not his current state itself. sure, it’s annoying and insufferable - but what’s dangerous is next stage of what people like him become.

- envious. greedy - dangerous. you wouldn’t trust him even if it kills you.

- and so you don’t. you try to keep a wary gaze on him.

- another thing you find that swansea is quite similar to .. other people in your neighbourhood.

- he talks about how he’s been struggling with alcohol, on a particularly hard night.

- you listen. he keeps talking. you add on his statements a little bit from time to time, to show that you’re listening. otherwise, you’re dead quiet, eyes staring at him, and his eyes towards the false sky by the medical bed.

- he complains to you more than anything though. about.. nearly everything. about how daisuke won’t do this properly, about the food for dinner, about him being unable to see his wife at home, how he won’t be able to see his kids grow up, and you, in exchange, tell a bit about yourself.

- he understands you; and you understand him too. you were both trapped under the same situation at the start of your lives, and you, by chance, managed to escape.

- he makes a joke about it. it leaves a bittersweet taste in your mouth.

- …although.. this meant that you were a bit privileged in the way swansea treated you.

- this showed in the way that he allows you to mess with his toolbox (maybe you were the only other person who was interested in his toolbox, aside from daisuke..)

- he teaches you the basics, and daisuke often chimes in from what he had studied before from swansea as well.

- you often thank the two for the lesson, and swansea seems a bit more smug after, whilst daisuke seems more proud of himself.. and due to that, you are more than welcome in the utility room.. from time to time.

- ah, speaking of daisuke..

- he’s incredibly sweet. you wonder if he particularly needs the sweets anymore from how overly sweet he is. you do end up sharing your snacks either way, and thankfully, he’s obedient enough to only request one sunshine every one to two days. (at this rate, you might have just enough to last you the entire.. 9 months? close to 8 now..)

- he also plays games, and showed you his own ds, stickers of pokemon, doodles, and small little things indicating his other interests were plastered all over it - which you end up telling anya.

- this is where anya’s willingness to help you connect with others come in.

- not before long, you, anya, and daisuke managed to make a post-game night activity.. which included playing the ds until you all reach the specific curfew anya had set (thankfully, she did set one, otherwise daisuke would’ve tried to beat you until his fingers fell off.)

- there was one time that he was too tired, and you had to drag him back into his room. with an arm slinged around your shoulder, and anya following behind in your footsteps, he stayed asleep the entire time.

- he wasn’t drunk. hell, do you even have alcohol in the ship? the answer was no. unless you were to drink cleaning alcohol.. but point is. he didn’t get drunk, and he was just that tired. you wonder what kind of new training he’s been trying to do.

- you tried your best to drag him, but once you were beside his bed, you had only one choice.

- you slowly placed him back into his bed, lifting his leg up to remove his shoes - before placing him properly on the bed.

- anya had already excused herself back to her room, and with the silence (and occasional snores from daisuke), you find yourself observing daisuke’s room.

- pink weights, a very, very patterned backpack, and a charger. those were the main things that caught your eyes.

- .. and you had his ds in your hand. so out of kindness, you went over to plug in his ds for him.

- before you left him alone, you checked up on him for the last time. he’s sleeping soundly. you try to close the door as silently as possible.

- you hope he continues to dream tonight.

- so far the worst thing you had to witness from the male was the absolute mess that was his laundry pile.

- it started when you - whose room was beside daisuke’s - smelt something akin to the concentrated scent of the (sun) detergent.

- you knocked at his door, and only a muffled wait echoes inside, before you could hear him tripping over his own feet to open the door.

his eyes meet yours - looking quite frazzled. He’s heaving slightly, perhaps a side effect of rushing to get the door.

“h..hi!”

the detergent smell only got stronger, and it became very much obvious that he.. had a little accident with the laundry. your focus flickers between the mess he is, and the mess behind him.

“...did anything happen?”

he chuckles nervously, avoiding eye contact.

“oooff course not! and i almost forgot that i had to- uhm- change my sheets! so see ya soo-”

right as he was about to shut the door, you had kept it wedged open with your shoes. his eyes actually meet yours, again, and you tilt your head slightly, arms folding.

“i can smell it from the hallway. let me help you.”

“no- i can do it!”

you send him a particular stare. it seems to make him falter, and you sigh once more.

“let me help you.”

he looks hesitant, his grip on the handle weakening. a moment passes, and then he closes hie eyes, and smiles at you - defeated.

“alright then... but don't be angry!”

- as you step in the room, you’re met with the sight of.. very, very many bubbles on a stack of clothes.

- and when you look back at daisuke, he only offers you a guilty grin, and a look that said i told you so

- that’s the story of how your fingers managed to smell like detergent for a whole week, and the event that hallmarked your almost instant closeness with daisuke.

- ever since the laundry accident, you two have been together quite often.

- every lunch break was simply just sitting alone, until anya or daisuke approaches you. If anya approached first, then daisuke followed. if anya couldn’t join you in the lounge, then you’d go to the medical bay, and if you’re allowed in - daisuke would follow right after.

- everytime you manage to get spare time to lounge on the extended sofa, daisuke immediately joins you. the only difference from before was the way he joins you on the couch. sometimes by closing your eyes from behind and asking you to guess (even when it’s apparent), sometimes by jumping or launching himself to the spot beside you.

- every now and then, he scares the living soul out of you. he laughs until you start chasing him with a cup in your hand.

- he tries his best to make you laugh. the best he got so far was an amused stare from you.

- apparently, it’s good enough for him. he cheered the entire night you made that expression.

- on his psych tests, he talks a lot.

- there’s.. not much time to talk to you. you only realise once he starts to talk about his week, instead of his day.

- nowadays, you focus on getting your analysis done. how each person’s behaviour have changed - in general, of course. you’re not going to mention their every detail, and rather, you ask them to fill out little questionnaires (which is the only detail you’re submitting)

- usually, before you got close, he mainly talks about his day, and only his day.

- sure you spent a lot of time together, but since this was the only chance to be truly alone, it’s usually the time that he opens up.

- he barely does so. but it’s much easier to see his emotions on his face, with far more vulnerability.

- it starts from little things, like how he really thinks swansea might get tired of teaching him. or maybe the way jimmy got mad at him because he accidentally spilled oil on his shirt.

- then it turns to things in his house. how he missed his mother, how he missed seeing his cat, how he felt like he had to take this internship because he felt like he had to prove something.

- you offer him hugs from time to time. he accepts them.

- sometimes you feel tears soak into your shirt. you try your best to comfort him after. whether it would be rubbing circles into his back, or offering him an extra piece of sunshine - you tried your best.

- you know you aren’t the best at that. but if this is all you can do, then what else should you do?

- sometimes you wonder if this ship really does need to be human automated.

- what costs do they cut by hiring human workers instead? innovation? investment in machinery? why keep people on barely minimum wages in a random ship being sent out to space, with minimum facilities and minimum safety and security? isn’t it a safer bet to go all out with machinery, then turn a profit later down the line - rather than close to losing this hunk of metal nearly every other day?

- then you look into the lounge in what is assumed to be “six in the morning” - you don’t trust the clocks. everything feels fake - and get hit by literal beams of sunshines in your way ( read : curly, anya, and daisuke laughing together )

- maybe you can keep those thoughts for another day. you ate.. pretty okay pancakes that morning.

- perhaps the only thing you wished you could change, in definite terms, was the way jimmy lingered around anya’s room.

- so stop it you did. or at the very least, attempted to stop it, you did.

- that’s the main reason you ended up sleeping on the front of anya’s room. (with her permission, of course)

- the reason you proposed to her was, and you quote,

“i keep on having dreams of cockroaches.”

- anya looked at you half asleep. the other half concerned, worried, and confused. you shuffled in front of her room, your hand hauling a mattress and your blankets awkwardly.

- .. she finally allowed you after a small while. maybe its because you looked pathetic. maybe its something else. you do not know, and you don't want to know.

- you eventually placed your mattress back into your room (due to the lack of space, you should’ve expected that - your only reason was that you did this on a whim), and slept on the floor, facing the walls with your blanket covering you like a silkworm.

- it’s not comfortable. thank god the tulpar has - at best - subpar air conditioning, otherwise you’d freeze to death in this huge metal hunk in space.

- it successfully warded off jimmy though. or so you’ve observed. so you really don’t mind the way your back aches every morning.

- maybe you should bring more pillows…

the door behind you croaks slowly, and slowly- your eyes peek open, looking up at a dimmed figure. an anya-looking dimmed figure. you immediately relax back in your blanket.

“..nightmares again?” she looks concerned about your sleeping position. for a moment, you feel bad for lying.

you purse your lips, and nod at her.

“.. yeah.”

she watches from the door, and nods at you.

you think she finally figured out that you knew about jimmy’s recent lingering. she spares you a thankful glance, and sends you a soft nod.

“..goodnight. thank you.”

you nod back, and once the door shuts back, you slump further. as much as these metal walls allow you, anyway.

you hope you dream this night. maybe of home, or of something sweet. maybe of something better.

you aren't sure what that something is. but you hope you find it soon.

but, oh, who were you kidding.

you never got the chance to dream. this night isn't any different.

you slip into a void; your body awaiting tomorrow.

i hope u enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it .. !

initially started off as a daisuke x reader insert but i went too far and suddenly i have this.. this...... series.... will get more into the romance after i world build a bit more.. if you have any specific requests for the reader in this au, don't be afraid to shoot something in my ask box!

extra notes: in order of youngest to oldest, i hc daisuke to be youngest, then reader, then anya, curly/jimmy and swansea !

sun & moon dividers by : @/saradika daytime screen & medical bay from mouthwashing

#mouthwashing #tw jimmy #daisuke x reader #mouthwashing x reader #mouthwashing x gn reader #swansea mouthwashing #daisuke mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #fanfic #i love anya and daisuke

283 notes · View notes

fridgrave2-0 · 11 months ago

Text

I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay with ford being an absolute asshole towards fiddleford and basically abusing him.

first of all, yes, it's not ford's fault that he was manipulated (doubtful tbh) and abused by bill, but that doesn't give him the right to be a jerk who closes his eyes on his friend's deepest traumas. the traumas fiddleford got only because stanford completely ignored his warning and got fidds involved into bunch of shit. like his monster hunting which wasn't even the reason fiddleford went to gravity falls in the first place. he was there to help ford build the portal, not to be a part of ford's anomaly quest. and when fiddleford spoke out against it he was ignored because ford doesn't give a shit about anyone else but himself or his muse. fiddleford got traumatized physically and mentally so deeply that in the need to be able to sleep at night peacefully he completely destroyed his mind to the state that even bill was scared to be in there. and what stanford did? he (the one who couldn't care less about fidds warning him about gremoblin) critiqued fiddleford for using the memory gun and didn't even bother to apologize or say that he's sorry in the journal. god, what am I saying, he didn't even took fiddleford to the hospital after fiddleford feel from the sky through the roof of a fucking barn with a dozen of poisonous quills in his body AND A BROKEN ARM. ford described what happened to fidds in the journal, said he "took him home for a treatment" and the next two paragraphs on the other page is "good news the hyperdrive works" LIKE IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THE HELL??? "despite our fortune, I have become worried about my assistant... I myself have survived many monster attacks without trauma, but perhaps F is more sensitive that I realized". no shit sherlock, who would've imagine that seeing your worst nightmares and being poisoned can leave a mark on your mental state. sure it's just fiddleford, he's just overreacting because he's "sensitive"))) /src

ford was ignoring fiddleford's concerns all the fucking time that mcgucket was there with him, he took a superstitious and religious guy with anxiety into the forest with real ass monsters who's no one but ford is used to see. fiddleford was warning stanford about shifty and got kidnapped with his identity stolen by the shapeshifter because ford didn't listen. well, at least this time stanford had bothered to apologize for another traumatic event- ah no, next thing ford said is that when the portal is finished all the traumas fiddleford had been through were "worth it". ford just finds ways to make everything worse

we all know that fiddleford has an addictive personality and that the memory gun is the biggest example of that. what we don't talk enough about is that ford at some point decided that sleeping is for losers, but didn't stop at himself and made fiddleford drink 13 fucking cups of coffee, not allowing him to sleep, what in the future made fiddleford a caffeine addict. ford is not only an overworking idiot who gladly damages his own health, no! he wants fiddleford to be the same and quote "gets frustrated" when fiddleford cares not only about his own, but their both basic needs. fiddleford had to work on the portal, get in the trouble with monsters because of ford, but also babysit this manchild to prevent him collapsing from exhaustion (which is more impossible than building a giant portal into the multiverse)

and here we are, the portal testing. once again (and as always) fiddleford did warned ford about everything. fiddleford was working without breaks for days to make sure if the portal will work, and when he found the flaws, he wrote a whole fucking thesis paper, putting all ford's research into a solid work (not taking even smallest credit even tho he was the one to build the portal. when fiddleford had his own theory in the university, ford helped him to only proof that fidds wasn't going crazy by checking the calculations and ford bothered to take the credit for the whole theory, but fiddleford who was a part and a victim of this monumental theory of weirdness didn't took it because he unlike ford doesn't care only about fame). but what did stanford do? he assumed that fiddleford wanted to steal his fucking fame and backstab him. ford didn't even bother to look at something fiddleford was making for three days without resting to make sure that portal won't hurt anyone in the town and that ford won't end up with empty hand if the portal was indeed a lost cause. stanford coldly dismissed fiddleford like they weren't friends, said that he doesn't really waiting fiddleford for the test of the device that fiddleford did built, and even knowing that the portal was dangerous fiddleford chose to come for the test

and then fiddleford got in the portal and it was the biggest traumatic event for him. it was the breaking point for him from which he couldn't stop using the memory gun. it damaged him so much, that he turned from that bright 30-y.o. man into the familiar to us old man mcgucket in the span of two years. his life was ruined for another 30 years, a half of his life he was a mad lonely guy who lived in the junkyard. the man who could've become someone like steve jobs but much better if only he didn't go to help stanford. his family could've been full, tate could have his father. the incident with the portal was the moment of no return for fiddleford, and what did stanford do?

when fiddleford got sucked in the portal, he thought only about the success of his work, that for fidds it was "a remarkable opportunity to confirm or deny the theory" (which he already did with his pre-test research). he didn't think that it was dangerous on the other side, that the portal wouldn't just disintegrate fidds on atoms. and when stanford saw him speaking in a non-human way, shaking and twitching in shock like fiddleford did after the gremoblin incident, ford decided it was nothing. when fiddleford warned him about the apocalypse because he was in the portal and saw it with his own eyes, ford, as always, didn't listen. he didn't just not care about fidds' condition — he diminished everything fiddleford was feeling and everything he witnessed only because it didn't fit in ford's believes which were based just on bill's words (and for stanford it's not something new to belittle things related to fiddleford. he wasn't taking fidds' dream of creating a portable computer seriously, believing that his weirdness theory was much more important)

and after this, stanford insults fiddleford and his family in the journal. he says that he doesn't regret their partnership (it's not really a partnership if stanford didn't count fiddleford as an equal) and friendship breaking up. "to think I considered him a friend!" I doubt he ever did. stanford doesn't know shit about being a good friend (or even a decent person) to someone who sacrificed everything for him. who did put his life aside to be with ford, who cared enough to stay despite stanford again and again putting him in danger, constantly waving him away and feeling no remorse for that. fiddleford was breaking himself for this guy, he canonically was going through "I am nobody to ford if I don't build stuff for him" (and in the end this is exactly what happened). fiddleford didn't tell ford most of his fears and concerns because he didn't want to bother him. fidds was constantly scared and kept in inside because he wanted to be a "better partner". "if I have an anxiety, I will pop anxiety pills", "I'm gonna get through this". and then he didn't

fiddleford was abused by stanford. he was to stanford that ford was to bill, in some ways even worse. it's fucking wild that fiddleford did forgive ford after 30 years of a neverending madness nightmare with his mind being destroyed so much as like it was the earth in the times of the dinosaurs after being hit by the meteorite. fiddleford had lost literally everything, he wasn't even himself for a half of his life and still fidds found the strength to forgive someone who is responsible for it and who used him with regular emotional neglect. and you know what? fuck this. ford would never forgive bill and fiddleford had every right to stay mad at stanford. ford needed to be stuck in the portal to get his head out of the ass and by that time there were only crumbs of someone who fiddleford once was

fiddauthor and billford both are about abuse and toxic relationships. it's up to you what you like to ship, but we need to acknowledge the fact that fiddauthor isn't some fluffy healthy thing where both are happy. fiddleford was never happy and stanford didn't care about fiddleford and his feelings. they made each other worse and ford ruined fidds' life. THIS is the real fiddauthor

#gravity falls #tw abuse #fiddleford mcgucket #stanford pines #ford pines #bill cipher #fiddauthor #billford #the book of bill #tw emotional abuse #tw emotional neglect

381 notes · View notes

mediocre-hospital-24 · 2 months ago

Text

Jayce Keeps a Journal About You (Head Cannon)

Author’s note: I will try to frequently post small head cannons or drabbles between my longer fics or one shots. This one is Jayce but I do the other arcane men as well. If there’s something you would like to see me write about in one of these snippets, feel free to ask!

Warning: Nudity I guess? I’m still learning how to tag warnings sorry. Is this 18+? Idk if you’re a child don’t read anything I write anyway lol

********************************************************************************************

He keeps a freaking diary.

Has had like 7 over the course of his life.

He writes so much random crap in them too!

Dreams, recipes for things, sketches of prototypes, ideas for new things, and brain rot thoughts to just throw into the void.

Eventually got smart enough to keep a separate journal about you two in your home where Viktor hopefully won’t find it because that one is FILTHY!

He purposely leaves his other one in more peculiar places for Viktor to snoop in because he ABSOLUTELY KNOWS Viktor loves to snoop.

The one about you is bound in dark blue leather and was a gift from you when you saw him pick it up at one of the book stores you would meet at.

It’s just him musing about you, drooling over certain parts of your body that he then DRAWS.

The man has an anatomy textbook basically of just YOU.

So MANY NAKED SKETCHES.

Just you, no one else.

He even writes about love bites you give him and just gushes about how perfect and sexy he thinks you are.

Babe has it so BAD for you lol.

It’s not creepy tho!

He mostly just sketches when you’re asleep, he knows you’d be embarrassed, but they’re just for him anyway.

He just has so many feelings and putting them on paper is something he really enjoys doing! It’s relaxing for him to just see you sleeping spread out all over the blankets after he’s absolutely wrecked you.

It’s probably his favorite sight in the whole world to see you half covered by sheets completely in the nude.

He especially loves when your tits are out.

He could stare at them forever and he’d still want more time to commit them to his memory.

He isn’t hiding it from you though, he hopes to show you some of his favorites sometime and maybe he could even convince you to pose for him (do it the man will freaking go FERAL after).

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Snippit:

You were completely knocked out.

Limbs a sprawling mess, lips parted, and sheets tangled and bunched haphazardly around you.

The day had been long, and far too warm for your liking.

After you finally got home from the junk shop you worked in, you quickly showered to wash the sweat and grime from the day away; and promptly cranked your air conditioning unit to max.

You were so exhausted you didn’t even bother with clothes, your boyfriend slept naked most of the time anyway so you knew he wouldn’t mind.

You unceremoniously plopped on the bed and pulled up the thin sheet as the cool air blew on you, finally getting a chance to relax.

When said boyfriend walked through the door to his apartment, he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you.

He loved that you trusted him enough to be in such a vulnerable state in his bed.

Jayce dreamily drank in the moment before carefully making his way over to a decorative globe in the corner of the room and lifting the top.

He reached in, grabbed the journal, and fountain pen he kept along with it, and made his way over his desk.

It was conveniently illuminated by the reading lamp you often left on when you got home before him.

The large vanity mirror that hung across from the bed always had the most perfect view of you from where he was sitting.

You were such a messy sleeper when you were restless and overheated, the sheets often getting discarded near your legs or on the floor.

This left Jayce with a clear view of your uncovered chest; your pretty nipples on display just for him.

It was always difficult for him to just sit there looking at how beautiful you were but not really being able to express it in the moment.

That’s how the drawings started, as a way to pour his deep overwhelming pride and adoration for you when maybe you weren’t there at the time, or in this case, off in dreamland.

He’d wake you up with his tongue later ( your favorite way to be awoken).

But for now, he’d enjoy the quiet peace of the moment, and the soothing sounds of occasional tiny snores.

#arcane x reader #jayce lol #jayce x you #arcane jayce #jayce x reader #jayce talis #jayce league of legends #arcane lol #arcane #hextech #hexcore #lol x reader

51 notes · View notes

frogtemple · 4 months ago

Text

☆ life changes ☆

pairings: winchester brothers x sister!reader (reader pov)

summary: you thought you had put the hunting life behind you, but family doesn't end there. **angst and swearing**

word count: 3k

I got out. I never thought I would.

As the youngest in my family, I had a lot to look up to as far as influence. Unfortunately my father wasn't around much to influence me, and neither was my mother as she died when I was young. So most of that came from my trusty big brothers, two very different, but similar in ways- personalities.

No matter how old I get, I'll always be Dean's little princess. I have him to thank for my rugged wild side, yet strong values. I'd like to think I've softened him up a lot. On the other hand, Sam's given me that intellectual, forward thinking mindset. He's always pushed me to feel happy being myself and make smart choices. Mix those two together and you get me... Winchester #3

Growing up in the hunting life was strange, but I never realized how strange it really was until I got to college... Yes, I went to college. I was scared shitless to go, it was such an unfamiliar goal for me since school was never something that was consistent with my life. I was constantly switching schools and being pulled out to be homeschooled just to be thrown right back in again. So on and so forth. But despite that, I actually enjoyed school. Besides the mean little terrors that some children could be, it was a form of an escape to me.

Sam was obviously on the convincing side, having gone to college before. Dean could have cared less, well, he cared- just not so much about the college part. "You do whatever you feel is right with your life. You have every opportunity to decide." He would always remind me. I could tell it saddened him to say it sometimes, knowing he never got the chance to do things I did, even if they weren't extraordinary. I knew he just always yearned for something normal- despite his jokes about it.

I went on to major in journalism. Thinking back, I've always loved writing. I'd always have a notebook with me on long car rides through multiple states, in boring old motels while Sam and Dean were hunting, at lunch or recess when I'd have no one to talk to. I was always writing something, stories mainly. Consisting of dreams on my mind that I'd transfer onto paper. Let's just say, college solidified my decision of wanting to lead a normal life, away from hunting. Which I never thought was possible. Both my brothers reminded me in their own ways that no matter how far I tried to hide, there could always be something wanting to draw me back in, inhabiting the Winchester bloodline and all. It always scared me, but I didn't want to give up what I could do with my freedom.

I scored a job at a publishing company after completing an internship there. So I was set, straight out of graduating college. After that, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I basically chose to distance myself from my brothers. Being out of state for college got me used to being on my own, but my job ended up being out of state as well. And... I knew if I wanted to leave the hunter's life behind, I'd have to leave the hunters behind too.

Sam saw it coming eventually, but he was still a bit in denial. Dean, well... Dean wasn't too happy.

"What? So you're just gonna leave? Just like that." He threw his arms up in the air. I stood there still with the last bag in my grip that I had packed. On the inside my blood was boiling, heart racing at my older brother's sharp tone.

"It's not like I'm never gonna see you guys again! You know how it is. I can't run the risk of having trouble follow me."

"Face it, y/n. You're a Winchester, it's always gonna follow you! Sooner or later, you'll have to see that." Dean let out bluntly.

"Coming from the guy that always told me I could lead the life I wanted to? Yeah, clearly you meant it." I sassed.

"You can, I just- being on your own... If something happens, and I can't be there..."

"Well, what about the last 4 years of college. I was able to take care of myself just fine." I justified.

"That was temporary, and we were only a hour away-"

"Oh, so you just can't handle the fact that this isn't temporary anymore, huh?" I sneered. Dean went quiet, I didn't expect him to choke but he did. I nailed his fear right on the money and he couldn't admit it.

"Look, I need this. I need to do this for myself. You guys mean the world to me, but-"

"No. Leave it... I don't wanna hear it." Dean interrupted.

His dismissive attitude struck me, I had been doing a good job at holding it in up until this point. Tears pricked at my eyes, I abruptly turned around and started up the stairs. "You leave now, don't even think about coming back!" His voice shook. I paused my stride, hearing the breaking behind all the anger in his voice. I looked up towards Dean, he turned his back to me, fists rested on the table in front of him. All I saw was Sam looking back at me with the upmost care and sorrow laced in his brows, having to witness the fight. "Goodbye, Sam." I said before retreating, and hearing the bunker door shut for the last time.

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°

It's been 3 years since I've seen my brothers. It feels like a different lifetime now, but at the same time, not at all. I talked with Sam once, maybe a month after I left, ever since then, I haven't spoken to either of them.

It's not that I didn't want to see or speak to them, I love them with all I have. I just don't know what to say. I don't really blame Dean for reacting the way he did, but it was blown out of proportion. I wish sometimes I could just show up, go back to the bunker in surprise. But I can't, I have my own life now.

I met someone a month after leaving the bunker. So, we've been together for 3 years at this point. We have a little place together about 3 hours away from my brothers. I've been promoted at my job, and work really well with the people there. It's not perfect, we have our struggles, but I'm happy. I wouldn't change anything.

I guess I've gotten so comfortable that I didn't notice anything "out of the ordinary" happening around. I had to find out the hard way.

I was out to lunch with a few of my colleagues when it happened. We were enjoying some time outside of the office after finishing a ton of work for our latest project when I looked up and saw two familiar faces looking down at me. I had to do a double take. It was Sam and Dean, standing there wearing long coats, looking pretty dapper and serious.

"Hey, y/n." Sam breathed out nervously. "Can we uh... talk for a sec?" He smiled softly. I looked at him in utter shock. My eyes then found Dean's which were much more complicated. He looked tense, some worry crossed his features, and he looked a bit sad too. He looked like he didn't know how to feel, but neither did I.

"Um. No, I'm kinda busy right now." I said politely, but with a bit of snark in my tone.

"This is pretty important, think you can take a minute?" Dean replied almost immediately.

"Y/n, do you know these guys?" One of my co-workers asked, confused as hell and slightly annoyed at the intrusion.

"Y-yeah, kinda. Uh, now's not really a good time. Maybe chat later." I said, starting to feel flustered.

"Or, we can chat now." Dean sassed as he pulled up a chair and sat down next to me as if he was joining our lunch.

"Dean..." Sam warned.

"Sam, I'd say family is one of the most important things, wouldn't you?" Dean looked back at Sam, then back at me, flashing a sarcastic smirk. I was staring daggers back at him, not having his sarcasm right now.

I didn't want to lose my cool in front of my team, so I- "I'm sorry guys, either we gotta cut this lunch short, or I gotta take off early."

"Everything alright?" One of them asked.

"Yeah, just some pressing family matters I've been avoiding." I shot a fake smile back at both men.

"That's okay y/n, we can wrap it up."

"Yeah, we can continue this back at the office."

I let out a grateful breath on the fact that my team was catching on a bit to the awkward tension, maybe even sensing I felt a little uncomfortable. We gathered our things and started to depart to the car we all took here.

"Y/n...." Sam tried putting his hand on my shoulder as we were walking out, I quickly shrugged it off. "No.... m'sorry." I looked back before leaving. I caught sight of the impala on the way out, pausing for a moment to take in the car that I missed so dearly.

Sam sighed in defeat, he looked back at Dean before going back to the impala. "Nice going."

"What? I didn't-"

"Dude, seriously. Not now..."

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°

After that, I couldn't focus for the rest of the day. It was honestly a little embarrassing, having them come out of no where like that, and in front of people who know nothing about that part of my life. I quickly conjured up some family excuse once the questions flooded in. I was walking to my car at the end of the day, about to go home when I got a call. It was Sam.

So much of my being didn't want to answer him after the little stunt they pulled today, but, Sam was always the more reasonable one. I guessed I'd give him a chance to explain before I jumped to conclusions.

"Hi."

"Y/n? Hey, I'm-"

"Is Dean there?"

"No, it's just me." I could hear the slight hesitation.

"Are you on speaker?" there was a small pause. Sam on the other end took the phone off speaker in front of Dean and walked out of the room. "No, you're all good. Listen, I just want to apologize."

"Yeah, that was quite some shit you two pulled back there. What the hell, Sam? Why'd you just show up out of nowhere?!"

"Y/n, something's going on. We really need to talk to you."

"So talk."

Sam breathed out heavily. "I can't. It's not safe. Um, we'd actually like for you to... maybe come to the bunker?"

"No. Absolutely not." I said instantly. "I have a life here now. I'm not just gonna drop everything to drive 3 hours because you guys are struggling with a case."

"Y/n, this is not just a case. It's more than that." The tone of Sam's voice shifted immensely. Something was up.

"Sam, I can't."

"Then, we're gonna have to keep bothering you. Y/n, remember what Dean said? It's always gonna follow you. Somehow, someway..."

"How could I forget." I stopped. I couldn't think of anything else to say, but I knew Sam was right. If something was happening to the point of them coming all the way out to see me, they weren't gonna leave me alone until we reconciled.

"Y/n? You still there?"

"Oh, yeah. Look, I'll see you in about 3 hours." I gave in.

Sam felt a weight lift off his shoulders. "Great, drive safe bug. We'll see you soon."

That nickname brought a flood of thoughts. I hung up and sat still in the drivers seat. "Oh my god, what am I about to do."

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°

I hated that I was doing what I was doing, but they were right. Something was bound to happen at some point, just didn't expect it to happen so soon. I just wanted to get it over with.

Unfortunately I lied to my boyfriend, well, half lied. I told him I had a family emergency, sparing the details for now. Looks like that part of my life might have to find out.

The 3 hour drive to the bunker felt so long, I don't know how my brothers just did that today, twice, just to drag me back into this. I keep thinking how this better be worth it. During the drive, I tried to reason with my feelings towards my brothers, but I was doing fine. Now all of a sudden things come up and disturb the little peace I had going, it was hard to not be upset.

I pulled into the familiar garage. I stood outside the entrance door for what felt like 20 minutes before I finally got the courage to enter.

The sound of my boots echoing off the high ceilings as they came in contact with the stairs flooded my mind with familiarity. I took in the smell of old books, hints of Dean's cologne in the air, a faint metallic smell that I could almost taste. All the memories of my life in the bunker practically hit me in the face all at once, it gave me a warm and comforting feeling. Something I haven't truly felt since I left for school.

My moment was well interrupted once I was greeted by Sam, and saw Dean standing not too far from him, looking like he was ready to go off. I then recalled the last argument we had before I left, and the anger took its place in my heart.

"Hey, y/n." Sam spoke softly, wavering cautiously around my fragile emotional state.

I paused, taking in the both of them. I used to see these two men every day of my life, and now it was almost- foreign, in a way to not have seen them like that lately.

"Why?" "Why did you have to swoop in like this." I started.

"You didn't really give us a choice." Dean spoke up to my surprise.

"You could've called..." I retorted.

"And what's the chance you would've answered? You haven't answered a call, or text- in, I dunno. 3 years?!" I could hear the annoyance in his tone.

"You told me not to come back! If you don't want me here, then why would I expect you to want to talk to me?" I raised my voice slightly but tried to remain calm. I knew this would happen as soon as I came back. The flood gates would open and Dean and I would have to pick up where we left off. Sam expected it too, he stood quietly in the middle of us, just in case things got too loud.

"That's not what I meant." Dean recoiled in defense.

"Meant it or not, you said it." I crossed my arms. Dean fell silent.

Sam took the chance to start explaining what was going on. "Anyway-"

"And what the hell was that earlier? Showing up out of no where! Interjecting yourselves into my personal life?!"

"Y/n, we're your family..." Sam started.

"But that doesn't give you the right- ugh!" I shouted in frustration. "I was trying to keep certain people away from knowing about this part of my past. I had to lie to my boyfriend tonight to come here. He doesn't even know-"

"Hold on. Boyfriend?" Dean interrupted.

"Yeah, Dean. Boyfriend, holy shit, it's crazy, wow." I went on.

"Don't get a fucking attitude with me. We're just trying to protect you!"

"Shut up! All that protecting nonsense. I get it, I really do! But you're not gonna be able to be there to hold my hand through every. single. step. I'm not a little girl anymore." I paused, seeing the sorrow pass through Dean's gaze.

"I thought that, maybe that distance I chose would have helped you realize... never mind."

"No. No, don't you dare assume that I don't know all that. Hell, I know you're grown, and that you need space. But don't think for a second that you can just turn your back on the people that raised you, loved you. I had to step up when dad was gone all the time. I had to step up to take care you Sam, and then you. I didn't ask to, but I never questioned it because I loved you!"

There it was. It all came out.

In all the years I've grown up knowing Dean, I'd never heard him spill like that. It took me leaving for him to show how afraid he was to lose me, after almost going through it with Sam. I remember how that felt.

"Dean. I'm sorry. I- I didn't know."

"Yeah, well. I'm sorry too." He quietly said.

"I guess, I just didn't see how-"

"Nah, no, it's alright. It's just a little off, without you here kid, ya know?" I could tell he was trying to play off the sappy moment he felt coming on so I cut it short.

"Trust me, I know. Not a day has gone by where I don't think about you guys." I turned to Sam, he flashed me a smile in return, happy this was all finally blowing over.

Dean and I naturally drifted closer to each other as the tension fell flat, I was now standing close enough to throw my arms around his torso, into a hug that I didn't know I'd been longing for since the day I left.

"I love you." I whispered into his chest. I felt him deflate, letting the anger leave him.

"I know." He replied. I broke the hug and looked back up at him, satisfied to finally see us both smiling again. I then turned to Sam and gave him the hug he solely deserved as well.

"We're happy you're back, bug."

"Me too." "So, what's got you guys so on edge?" I then asked, bringing up the case at hand.

"Oh no, first, you tell us about this 'boyfriend' of yours." Dean demanded.

"Dean, c'mon!"

I'm happy to say that not much has changed.

#spn #sisterwinchester #sister winchester #sister!winchester #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #winsister #spnfandom #sister!reader

45 notes · View notes

milkoomi · 6 months ago

Text

₊˚⊹ ᰔ a guide to preparing for a new semester ᝰ.ᐟ

a lot of us have either started the spring semester or preparing for the spring semester! i actually start my new semester next week, AH! with that, i wanted to share a few helpful tips that help me prepare for a new semester!

let’s begin !!

ᝰ.ᐟ read the syllabus

this is especially important for college/university students! i know there are some college professors that do go over the syllabus on the first day, but most times you’re kind of on your own when it comes to the syllabus, so make sure you go over it at least one week before classes start!

this is also especially important if you’re taking online classes! i’ve taken a few online classes that didn’t have some sort of video chat call with the professor and the rest of my classmates, so if you have any classes like that then be sure to go over the syllabus!

make note of important dates! usually that last page is an entire semester overview of the class and it includes assignment deadlines, exam dates, and days that we’re off from school! so be sure to highlight those important dates or write them in your calendar/planner!

highlight contact information! professors do a great job of listing their contact info, so highlight that information or write it down somewhere where you won’t forget! or even add their info in your contact list!

ᝰ.ᐟ go over course modules

again, this is super important for college/university students! (but i do believe high school students work with something similar!) most times a school will use some sort of online platform that organizes all of your classes and each class will have an organized module created by your professor/instructor/teacher, so it’s important to click through each module before the semester begins so that you can get a clear idea and vision of what your semester will look like! it’ll also help too to get yourself familiarized with navigating the modules!

ᝰ.ᐟ gather all of your basic school supplies

having, at the very least, the basic supplies will help kickstart your semester feeling prepared! anything that you feel that might be essential for the semester should be added to your little list of things you need!

essential supply list:

planner, notebook(s), pens/pencils, folders/binders

digital supply list:

fresh screen protector, tablet pen tips (especially if you have an apple pencil or something similar, which is what i have! i found it on amazon & it works great!), & new tablet casing (optional of course)

ᝰ.ᐟ clean up

i mean this in every sense! clean up your study space, clean out your folders of old papers/worksheets/etc., reorganize your binders/folders, and clean out your mind of any stress that might be weighing you down!

study space:

whether it’s your room or an office, tidy up in there! make your space feel brand new and fresh as you start a new semester! you can even reorganize or redecorate your area to give it a new and clean look!

school supplies:

if you’re like me, you probably haven’t touched your school stuff since winter break started, so be sure to go through your folders and reorganize or just simply clean out any papers that still might be in your folders! some papers you might want to keep, but some can be completely tossed away!

your mind:

as with any aspect of your life, it’s important to practice self care! take time to journal and write down any thoughts that might be lingering in your mind, release all your stress onto paper! or even just making sure you’re getting yourself back on a good sleep schedule and getting an ample amount of rest before the semester starts. self care is vital!

ᝰ.ᐟ final notes

a new semester can be really daunting, but preparing yourself can help to relieve any stress! a new semester can be so exciting when you think of it as a completely fresh start! if you didn’t do so well last semester, then you can prepare yourself for this next one to be even better! but, i’ll reiterate this, be sure to take care of yourself. you can’t do your best when you aren’t at your best! so remember to treat yourself with kindness and remind yourself that you are capable of making it through another semester! you can do it!

with lots of love, juno 🌷

57 notes · View notes

ilovejeongintoo · 1 year ago

Text

𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔽𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕃𝕒𝕟𝕖

!WARNING NSFW Content ahead! !MDNI!

Genre: Enemies to Lovers?, Racer Seonghwa x afab Reader Warning: Betting!, Illegal Racing!, Posessiveness! Overstimulation!, Fingering (fem rec.), Squirting Wordcount: 3810 Not proofread

Racer Seonghwa has been living in my mind rent free, that's it.

Summary: Your journalism career is hitting a slump and as a last resort you decide to interview famous underground racer Seonghwa, he doesn't seem too keen on making it easy though.

You slammed your car door as you step out, absolutely fed up. Nothing has been working your favor lately, nothing has been happening in this city, making it nearly impossible to cover any stories for your local newspaper. People weren't interested in reading about the parking lots at the mall being renewed.

People wanted to read something that's new, something exciting. Your boss had been nagging you about the articles that had been released under your guidance, he had made your whole team turn a blind eye, when you were tasked with writing a new one (that better be satisfactory, or else)

With basically nothing to lose you decided, if he wanted a story, he would get one, one that people would remember for weeks maybe even months to come.

So here you were with your little tote bag with you notepad and a few random pens shoved in. Your source had said that this place is in charge for a few secret racing events. Racing, something that noone had ever covered on paper, at least the underground kind. It was deemed too dangerous to get any interviews or even shots of said races. At least this wasn't some car spectacle but peole with motorbikes were stood all around.

Countless ones, there had to be at least 50 people just gathered here near the empty streets. You could tell that not many prefered to come out here on their own time, the location situated on top the citys high crime site. It was surprinsingly bright for a area that people described as the scariest part of Kuroyama.

The orange neon signs illuminated all the random posters and little shops that ran along the streets.

You weren't here for just an article about some underground motorbike affair. You were here for a specific thing, or more like specific individual.

Known on the streets as "Mars" he's one of the most renowed and admired for his capabilities. Cutting lanes and curves so thight that he gave off a supernatual kind of strength.

Though people feared him more than idolized him, as rumors said that he was in close quarters with illegal fights before this and got his support from his earlier connections.

You were here to finally get some light on him, as the population was highly interested in the danger of "Mars".

You were walking around the place trying to spot him anywhere, his bike is the only his own symbol of importance and had others looking out for.

You were looking for exactly that, other bikers gave you lingering stares that clearly told you how out of place you looked. The coat and skirt did nothing to hide the typical journalist uniformity and you cursed you chief for implementing said thing.

Before long you heard some hooping and yelling in the distance and knew immediately who it was. You pushed through the crowd that had gathered and almost flew on your face. When you were at the front you were greeted by a long figure. Helmet on, orange-black racing gear covered him. A planet symbol that ran across his arm and the same one on his bike had you confirming his identity even more. He waved at a few people clearly enjoying the attention and drove slowly to a designated spot on the concrete, it was outlined with his color.

People seemed to get the hint and back of a little, some men just as tall as the man of the hour came up to him though and started talking with him.

He adjusted his gloves and some things on his outfit, pulling his zipper down a little and revealing a black wifebeater underneath. You guessed those outfits came with the disadvantage of getting hot even in the night.

When those men also dispersed in multiple directions and he was finally left alone, you decided to walk up to him. Slow steps, boots clicking he looked up when you were right in front of him. Right away talking rather dismissively: "I don't do autographs, no matter how much or what you offer me." He waved you off a little, you got your business card out and thrusted it right into his face, a little annoyed that he mistook you as one of his fans.

You wouldn't approach him if it wasn't for your job. Before he could get another word out "I'm not here for an autograph, I'm here for some questions."

You couldn't gauge his reaction because of the helmet but he tilted his head a little at your statement.

"What are you? The police? I don't answer questions if they don’t benefit me in some kind of way sweets."

The helmet was starting to annoy you and the name that he gave you, just ticked you off. "Look I'm sure that you could use the publicity, at least it would be more of the positive kind."

He continued looking at you, waiting for your next argument to somehow convince him. Clearly, he wasn't satisfied with that. You decided this was where you would have to use your trump card already.

"I know that this underground scene is exhilarating for you, but legal racing would make you more money, much safer."

"That's something you want, to get out of this illegal ring that you've been caught in and I'm here to help you with that"

It grew oddly quiet. "You know absolutely nothing about what I want." The teasing lilt from before was entirely gone, replaced with a cold and sharp voice.

"You need to move along, I’ll forget this conversation happened and you leave."

There was no way that you were just going to leave like this, without anything. After coming all this way.

Before he could even turn his engine on to drive away from you, you grabbed him by the collar of his undershirt making him to make you next point.

A lot more harsher than was probably necessary you got in his face. "I don't know what kind of complexes you're dealing with, but I'm your ticket out of here, I don't know if your head is so far up your ass that you can't see that or if you're choosing to ignore it."

"Do what you want, but I was here, giving you the chance to make it big in the racing industry."

You let go, making him slump back onto his vehicle. You knew it wouldn't be easy but straight up being rejected without a second thought left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You would have to think of a different topic now. You sighed before turning away, already walking back to your car.

After a few steps, you heard that voice call out to you from behind. "Hey! Okay, wait!" That made you stop and turn around. You were expecting some kind of insult now, you mentally prepared for it. He reached up to the strap of his helmet, clasping it open and pushing it off his head. Shaking his head slightly to fix his hair and then he looked right at you.

Dark eyes, sharp eyes and an even sharper nose. Raven hair styled away from his face. You were momentarily distracted by the unexpected appearance, he didn't look much older than you, mid-twenties maybe.

"Okay, let's make a deal" He fully stepped off his bike, leaving his helmet back and making his way towards you. "If you still think that I'm such a person by the end of this race, I'll grant you lil wish and let you interview me" He gestured a little to himself and the lanes behind himself.

"Your little claim of me quote on quote "making it big" better be true" He threw up some quotation marks with his hands, he walked towards his back again with his back turned to me, sitting on top of it again.

"Cuz, you'll need it, you'll get a lot of backlash for this" I interrupted him before he could give another one of his smart comments. "I already decided that I wanted this, anything negative that happens after this all, I'll consider it to not be part of it" "Right" His response was dragged out a bit, like he didn't quite believe me.

"I'm Park Seonghwa, Mars is the name I use for my fans but you're not a fan of mine."

"I'm not"

He smirked, pulling his protection gear back on. Getting ready for the race. I watched him drive off a bit further along the road, getting in line with a few others and doing some final checks on his things. I moved myself from my rooted position to get to the viewer stage, that gave me sight of the lane. It seemed fairly simple, you drive the course three times and placing as high as you could.

You didn't know what to expect from Seonghwa, never having seen him actually drive. You had only heard stories about it up until this point.

When the start signal was received by the drivers, they accelerated straight away, making some stay further back and others taking the lead up front.

Seonghwa was right in the middle, everything seemed normal up until the last round. When you noticed some guys near Seonghwa driving a little too close to him, any person would think that would be a cause for concern.

One guy wanted Seonghwa out of the competition, picking his foot up and delivering a swift kick to the side of Seonghwa’s bike. It shook the vehicle quite a bit, almost making you think that it would swerve and crash.

This was when you wrapped your head around the fact that this wasn't your average sports channel show. This was it, this was the underground world, nothing here would be fair.

Seonghwa recovered rather fast, seemingly used to this kind of trickery. He moved his body further onto his bike, almost laying down on it. The next curve would decide if he could still make it to first place, any later and he wouldn't make it. He leaned his body down, his one knee scrapping the concrete below and making the turn as tight as possible, overtaking anyone that cut it in a wide way. It successfully landed him just behind a guy in first place. Your heart was racing, they were barely a few hundred yards away from the finish line.

Seonghwa, accelerated even more, however that was possible. The other dude seemed to notice him now, quickly looking behind himself and panicking when he saw who it was. They were right next to each other now; you couldn't tell who would win from the sight alone.

Your heart was pounding so hard you could hear it in your own ears, making a drumroll for the results of this.

Just a few moments from the line away, Seonghwa gradually started overtaking him. Little by little the distance grew, until he crossed. Cheers erupted all around you, people jumping up and spilling their drinks. Your eyes were as wide in shock and astonishment, you were thinking that he was definitely more talk than game. Seonghwa came to a stop after a while there, taking his helmet off and running to the group of guys from the start. Getting crushed in a group hug and overall being very happy.

The other losers watched a little in disappointment at their failure to win or even sabotage the chances of him winning. He disconnected himself from the group and looked around, searching for something, when his eyes locked onto you stepping off the viewing stage.

Waltzing up to you with an air of confidence. "Still wanna interview me sweets?" His voice rang out, in all of its smugness.

You couldn't help but break a smile, getting dragged into the cheery atmosphere. "Absolutely, now even more that I know that the Park Seonghwa is a true winner."

"Alright, I'll do the interview, but I need you to promise something for me, consider it lending a helping hand, okay?"

He steeled himself "I need you to vouch for the safety of my brothers." He pointed his gaze to the group of men standing behind and watching the interaction between the two you.

His gaze was a lot softer, almost sentimental. Definitely not something you would expect from him.

You became stunned at that, whatever kept him in this dangerous had to do with protecting his family. Whatever it was didn't matter too much to you, you came here to get a story but now you had made it your mission to help him. Even with his difficult demeanor. "I promise." He relaxed at that. Before long you could soak in the relaxed air, another voice came from a few feet away, one of the guys that tried to make Seonghwa lose.

"What the hell was that huh Mars?!" "We had a deal that you'd lose"

What? Wait hold on.

Seonghwa didn’t break the eye contact with you, speaking to you but addressing what the man just said.

"The deal's off, I'm quitting here" He ripped the symbol off his jacket, throwing it at the dude.

"You- You were supposed to lose, this is gonna make us lose a lot of money. Boss won't be happy." He was in disbelief at the nonchalant air around him.

Like this was just a normal occurrence to him. Unimpressed Seonghwa spun himself to finally look at the man. "That's not my problem anymore" he faced you and took you by the hand, heading right for his bike. You were dragged and almost spilled you bag on the floor.

"Seonghwa what-, what are you doing?" You questioned him with furrowed eyebrows, he pulled his helmet over your head successfully ignoring your question.

He sat down pulling you towards him more and grabbed your thigh, signaling you to swing your legs over the machine. Which you did, although reluctantly. He grabbed your forearms with both hands and wrapped them around himself. You could feel the hard muscle underneath but before you could fantasize, he presses on the gas, smoke cloud coming out from under the wheel and before he drove off.

You could faintly hear the man from before yelling at Seonghwa to stop but it was quickly fading away when Seonghwa drove onto the main roads.

You squeezed him a little tighter out of fear, it was one thing to see him driving from afar, being in the middle of the action was absolutely terrifying.

He slowed the pace, sensing your anxiety. He put his hand over one of yours and clutched it tightly against him, trying to comfort you.

"Relax, I'm not gonna let you fall off"

You knew that hell he could probably operate down a mountain, and you would be totally fine. Your butt was starting to hurt from the constant pressure, and you told him to go to the side from here and let you hop off for a bit.

He pulled up to a small alleyway, planning to hide in case someone was following him, which you really doubted.

You stepped off and immediately relaxed onto a nearby wall, sitting down on the concrete there, pulling your legs to your chest. "I like the helmet on you, fits you." He said against the cool air. He leaned against his machine after turning the key in the ignition. You looked up at him through the thin glass, making everything look darker than it actually. You took it off, even after the weird compliment.

"I can see why you enjoy speeding down roads like that, gets your heart racing." Yours still hadn't calmed, though that might be for a different reason now, when you looked at Seonghwa.

His charisma was undeniable, his looks, the confidence, everything made him so much more attractive. And the equally contradicting duality, the split second where you saw him soften up.

It made you gulp in realization.

You dragged your eyes up his form, from his leather boots to the matching leather pants, followed up with that jacket that was now fully unzipped, up to his face.

He already had his gaze on yours "Take a picture, it lasts longer." He couldn't go two seconds without being insufferable it seemed. You stood up feeling more awake now and the pain in your butt lessened. You marched over to him, fully intent on leaving as fast as possible. He halted you when he stepped in your way, while you were trying to go around him.

It almost made you bump into his chest. "Oh, come on, I was just joking, you're just fun to tease sweets." He grinned from ear to ear, pretty teeth and grills on display.

"Stop calling me that."

"What?"

"Sweets, I don't know what made you think that that would be an appropriate name for me"

"Maybe I don't want it to be appropriate between us" He watched you with a dark gaze, caressing your hand that was hanging besides your body.

He moved his eyes from yours to your lips and then back up again. "You know… I still haven't gotten my price from winning. I think you could help me with that, no?" It was painfully obvious what he meant by that, and you would have been lying if you said you weren't interested.

Your work not giving you any time for any sexual endeavors and leaving you frustrated, maybe that's why you were so on edge today. "Yeah, I could do that" Your lids falling shut a little as breathy whisper escaped you and you leaned in to lock your lips together.

Pillowy that’s how they felt, and it sent a good spark of electricity down your spine. You threaded your hands into his styled hair messing it up more than any helmet could.

He too you by the waist and spun you around making your butt hit the bike a little. He wrapped his fingers around your thighs, lifting you up and setting you down on it, stepping right between your spread legs.

He moved one hand down still kissing you, making you lose your breath. He reached the waistband of your skirt and then he moved further not bothering to take it off. He pushed your panties onto your core a few times, massaging the sensitive flesh and the roughness of the fabric provided a delicious feeling.

You let out some quiet moans that were swallowed by Seonghwa’s mouth. He dragged the fabric down your legs pulling one leg up a little to get it off and let them rest on your ankle. Your legs naturally spread more with one leg propped up.

He groaned when he pulled away from you and looked down, your core glistening in your own juices. He attached his gloved fingers to you immediately, going up and down your slit a few times before he inserted two fingers into you. You easily took them, groaning and taking ahold of his shoulder with one hand and the other rested on the seat.

He pumped them in and out, in, out, the most repetitive motion but each time he got a little deeper. Those long fingers hitting your g-spot inside and scissoring your walls apart.

He didn't take his eyes off your pussy even once, completely entranced by the sight of you swallowing his fingers. When he added a third finger, you almost came on the spot. The leather on his hand made it so much more filthy, so much louder. He grinded the heel of his hand on your clit, watching you with a satisfied smile.

"Omg, Hwa-Seonghwa, I c-can't" You lost the words on your tongue, not being able to voice out your thoughts.

You were a garbled mess now, hair askew, sweat on your neck and face completely uncaring of being in a public setting. He just continued, making your toes finally curl and your body seize up. Your head going white for a few seconds.

"Yes, you can" he thrusted his fingers more, one thumb coming up to play with your clit, making you hypersensitive.

After a while he slowed the speed of his thrusts, working his wrist a little slower but not stopping.

Holy shit, he's not for real right now.

Your eyes rolled back a little.

You were no stranger for a little bit of kinky sex but getting overstimulated wasn't on your list of experiences. Though you weren't complaining in the least. Enjoying the way your slick leaked out onto your legs and the seat. Seonghwa's whole hand and wrist was wet.

"Give me another sweets, just one more." It was almost said in a begging kind of way. He angled his fingers even deeper into you, picking the speed of his thrusts up, slow, soft fingers on your clit. You were starting to feel like you were dying or floating?

You let out your loudest moan when Seonghwa dropped to his knees, hitting dirt, and attaching his mouth to your clit. Kissing and licking getting anything and everything in his mouth. Those same soft lips felt even softer on your pussy. It was making you clench and build up to your orgasm incredibly fast. He looked up into your eyes and you took the hand that you had on his shoulder off and dropped it onto his head, gripping his hair for dear life.

One more swipe of his tongue and you were bursting like a broken water dam. Squirting onto his face and tongue. Screaming your lungs out in a long almost pornographic moan.

He pushed his fingers up three or four times, making sure to pull the last bits of your sanity out of you. And just when it started to become too sensitive he stopped, pulling his fingers out of you.

And popping them…

into his mouth.

He groaned a little at the taste of you, the sight definitely straight out of your fantasies. Maybe this was one of them, part of your fantasy, your imagination.

"See, you could do it, good job" He caressed your hips, grabbing the flesh in a possessive kind of way and kissing your cheek. Which was strangely sweet, given what he showed you a moment ago.

He caressed your head, combing some hair back into place. "Let's get you home sweets." You were out of it, you barely registered what he said.

He drove you home with you clinging onto his back even more than before. The night ended with him leaving a passionate kiss onto you lips and a quick squeeze to your ass, your phone number now saved for future "interviews".

When he walked off, back to his bike from your doorstep he spun something quite familiar on his finger, your panties.

Waving them around like a price and then tucking them into his pants. And driving off looking incredibly smug.

#seonghwa #seonghwa smut #ateez x you #ateez smut #ateez au #ateez smau #ateez x reader

222 notes · View notes

twotangledsisters · 28 days ago

Text

New Fic Idea

Got a new fic idea last night that won't leave me alone.

Basically, what if Andrew switched his goal from 'steal the journal of Herz Der Sonne', to kidnaps the Captain's seemingly naive daughter who he's been exchanging letters with so he plans an ambush.

I feel like if the Stabbingtons could think to use her as a bargaining chip, the Separatists could to.

Cass realising she practically tended this trap for herself by making herself into a target.

Captain trying to balance his duties as Captain and as a father once Andrew's demands do arrive.

Rapunzel arguing with Frederic because 'the good of the kingdom' and 'what about Cass?'

Eugene putting that 'no guy messes with Cass but me' from the episode to the test as he gets into an even more dangerous rescue.

I have a lot of ideas whirling around my brain right now XD

(ignore the bad art, just wanted to put this idea to paper while I let the story simmer in my mind)

#tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #the separatists of saporia #separatists of saporia #andrew tangled #cassandra tangled #my art #tts #rta

30 notes · View notes

noxitsnox · 3 months ago

Text

garage band singer!hee- hc

garage band!lee heeseung x f!waiter!reader

summary: in the pub where you work, often performs a band whose singer fascinates you. it's become a habit for you to secretly exchange notes, but despite this, you've never went on a date, well until today.

tags: non idol au, fluff, both reader and heeseung are down bad, heeseung is a bit toxic but also very sweet, alcohol mentioned, second person pov, y/n is used a few times i think? idk, a hybrid between hc and os

a/n: this is about blue haired heeseung specifically.

also this isn't jake fic... sorry, i've had this one in my mind so long i wasn't able to finish the chapter. i'll post jake before the 28th of april for sure! as always @exactlyinfp 🙂‍↕️

heeseung is a singer in the band his friends and him formed during highschool. the goal was to make a living from music and well, they're not quite there yet but they did find a place to play at regularly

you worked at that pub as a waitress and the moment you saw heeseung... you were in love. the moment you heard him sing your heart exploded

was it possible to be attracted to someone's voice? because damn

after the performance you fought against time to be the one to make his drink just to have a chance so see him up close

you watched him the whole night, hoping to gather the courage to talk to him. it didn't happen but instead you found a note on his napkin

to the pretty waitress with h/c and e/c, xx -l. heeseung

keeping your cool suddenly became very difficult. as you watched the way he slightly tilted his head back when he laughed or the way he bit his tounge as he played.

there was something about his vibes, his aurea... he looked both very approachable and very unapproachable at the same time. even now that he approached you, you were scared to make your move.

in the end, you managed to find out where he kept his guitar case and you put your own note to him in the front pocket when he went to the bathroom.

the week after, his band played again and you could swear he was looking at you, smirking throughout the whole performance.

that day he passed you another note and you did the same.

now, after almost a year, it was normal for you to exchange those notes between a song and a glass of beer. it was the only way you and him would talk basically. you kept every single note- from the very first one, inside your journal so that if in a hypothetical future your grand children asked about how their grand parents got together you could simply show them the story. you hoped he was conserving them too, that way the story would be complete.

problem was that after all this time you needed to have his number, it was a physical need atp. you wanted a way to actually communicate with him outside of the pub.

everytime you were tempted to write it on a napkin and give it to him you changed your mind, main problem was your constant overthinking

if he wanted my number he would've asked by now, we've never even really talked to each other, what if he has a girlfriend, what if doesn't actually like me

but that night you were tired of waiting

you only wished you could talk with him outside of that stupid paper notes. when his band played you spent more time in your mind than at the pub, everytime you looked at him you were closer to just go and kiss him on the spot. maybe this way heeseung would finally understand and give you his number, take you out on a date. everytime you stopped yourself, "y/n don't let your impulsive thoughts win and contain yourself". but as the days passed it was becoming more and more difficult, you were growing frustrated to the point you almost hated him. it was stupid, if you never talked to him how could he know how much you wanted him? and yet you couldn't help but think that he should have an idea by now. and furtively just like the first note you gave him your number. you avoided his table for the rest of the evening, dying of embarrassment every time you met his eyes.

that night an unknown number texted you, but you knew very well who it was

→ finally, i was starting to lose hope. thought i had to find me another pretty girl yk

you audibly scoffed and asked him why, if he wanted your number so bad, he never asked for it

he said he "didn't want to impose himself on you" which was a shitty answer disguised as something sweet

despite that, you actually liked talking with him. that night you stayed up, butterflies in your stomach as you two texted. you felt like a middle schooler dealing with her first crush

everything was perfect except for one thing: at the pub he never spoke to you, barely even looked at you as he flirted with other girls.

you wanted to be mad but you had to remind yourself that he wasn't your boyfriend, your jealousy wasn't legitimate

you hated that part of him so much, how could someone be so nice on the phone and yet so cruel in real life?

but even this didn't stop you from immediately responding with a smile every time your phone screen lit up with his name.

after months he asked you on a date! you had a real actual date with heeseung

he didn't want to tell you where he'd bring you. "it's a surprise" he insisted when you asked

but eventually, after a hundred messages begging him to tell you, using the excuse of "I have to figure out how to dress" he gave you a small spoiler

you found out he was planning a pic nic

he didn't tell you directly, but you heard him say to one of his bandsmate after a performance at the pub

→ when's your day off? i'll pick you up at 11 am that day

you didn't question how he knew where you lived, it wasn't worth it

you just focused on the date, and god it was perfect

you pretended to be surprised when he got out the blanket and pic nic chest. why would you ruin the moment by telling him you already knew about it?

he prepared everything. all the food was cooked by him, he brought all the drinks- even tho it was mainly beer- and he even got you flowers

and the most important thing: heeseung looked absolutely stunning

it was your first time seeing him in day light, since you decided the photos you saw by stalking his profiles didn't count

dark blue hair literally shined under the sun and even if he was simply wearing some baggy jeans and a t-shirt he was gorgeous

he took up just the right amount of space, without invading your personal space but still appearing friendly and close

the confident, secure man you knew was gone

he was sweet, kind and lovely and you weren't complaining

even when he kissed you, it wasn't like you imagined at all

knowing his "stage persona" you thought it'd be rough and wet but it wasn't like that at all

it gave you butterflies, he put a gentle hand on your cheek and lean on you

you were afraid that after the date he'd went back to not knowing you while at the club

instead during the first performance after the he openly dedicated one song for you

he stopped flirting with other girls and he introduced you to his bandsmates

that night on the napkin he wrote:

you're lovely, girl. i'm the luckiest man alive to have you all for myself. xoxo l. heeseung

#heeseung #lee heeseung #heeseung x reader #heeseung x female reader #heeseung x you #lee heeseung x reader #lee heeseung x you #enhypen x you #enhypen x reader #enhypen #enhypen heeseung #🌋:enha

35 notes · View notes