#in summary: i am going with gay until proven wrong

[93millionmilesaway]

i think i'm actually just gay ✨

[moody-alcoholic]

The Missing Piece

Chapter 14 - Truth

Summary: Ghoap x Reader, throuple. Slow burn (sorry but not sorry). 2.7k words. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe.

CW: MDNI +18 content Mentions of torture, torture, smut, blowjob (male receiving & giving), language. First proper Johnny x Simon scene, IDK it just felt right...

AN: I am not ignorant to the fact I’m writing a gay sex scene and everyone is hanging out in Syria. Resources below. Guardians of Equality Movement Syria LGBTQI+ Resources Equaldex LGBT rights in Syria

Previous parts - masterlist - next AO3 Enjoy <3

Johnny was grabbing something to eat in the canteen when he watched Ghost walked over to him. He knew something was wrong, he had that cold look in his eyes. The one he gets when he has to focus on the job and nothing else matters, not even him. Johnny swallowed hard standing up to meet him. 

“Come.” It’s all he says but it makes the hairs stand up on the back of Johnny’s neck. Johnny follows they walk into an observation room. Johnny gasps when he sees you handcuffed the table head hanging down.

“What happened?” Johnny asked looking round the room his eyes falling on Jack who’s stood there arms crossed. 

“We believe she’s responsible for the murder of the doctor.” Jack says. Johnny laughs, looking around at everyone else being serious.

“Christ, what’s the evidence?” Johnny asked.

“Her ID was used to withdraw large amounts of insulin which is believed to be the cause of death.” Johnny looked at Jack shocked then at Price. 

“Has she said anything?” Johnny asked feeling sick. There is no way you did that, this has to be a set up, something… Johnny just knew it in his gut, you were innocent.

“No, she’s not talking.” Price said, Johnny could hear something in his voice. Sadness? Annoyance?

“I heard you are very good at your job lieutenant,” Jack says taking a step closer to Ghost. 

“‘Pends on what you heard.” Ghost replies remaining still, looking through the one way glass you’ve not moved.

“I heard you can get people to talk, and we really need her to talk.” Jack says. 

“We can try other ways before sending Ghost in.” Price says. Jack scoffs.

“If she’s been trained by the enemy she won’t break.” He says walking to the door. 

"What happened to innocent until proven guilty?" Gaz asks scoffing. Jack doesn't seem to like that, his eyes shooting daggers at Kyle.

“You have 24 hours to get her to talk or you’re out of here.” Everyone looked at Price. He went to sit down.

“You heard him, make her talk.” Price says.

“We don’t torture innocent people.” Ghost’s voice is level, he still hasn’t moved. 

“We’re not torturing anyone just question her you’ve got to buy me some time, look like you’re doing your jobs so I can figure out what the hell is going on.” Price sighs.    

“It’s wrong.” Johnny says. Price sighs again getting up. 

“LT, Gaz go to security I want anything you can find, from the moment she wakes up in the morning to the second she’s asleep. She takes a piss I want to know about it, where her card was swiped who has seen her anything, and quickly before Jack can replace staff.” Price says as he walks over to Johnny. 

“Come on let’s go have a chat with her, maybe she’ll tell us something useful” Price says his hand on Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny knows Price is trying to calm him but there is nothing on the face of the world right not that can slow his mind.

He looks back through the window, guilt rises up as Ghost and Gaz leave the room. It’s times like this Johnny envies Simon being able to hide his face. Price squeezes his shoulder he looks in Price’s eyes, they look sad understanding. It doesn't make Johnny feel any better.

—————————— 

You can’t look at Simon’s eyes when he’s the room, the caramel eyes you used to lose yourself in, they’re just dark now, dark and uncaring. Johnny’s in sometimes, he won’t even look at you let alone in your eyes any more, the eyes you used to look in for comfort, love, hope. You don’t know what's worse. Price is the one who questions you, always the same questions. 

How did you do it? 

Why did you do it? 

Who do you work for? 

How long have you known about 141? 

Did you get close to them on purpose? 

Did you use them to get information on 141? 

Why?

He never says their names, Johnny, Simon. It’s always just ‘them’ he doesn’t have to say their names, you know who he means. Maybe you did betray them? Maybe this was all your fault? 

By the second day all you can think about is the doctor and the fact he’s leaving a kid and a wife behind. You’re moved into a windowless cell, you’re woken up at random times, you’re starting to lose track of time. Maybe it's been longer then 2 days but you can't tell.

It’s only after what you think is the third day it becomes violent. Jack is the only one who’s violent, he’s around a lot more too, there are new questions. 

Why this base? 

Why now? 

Do you know anything about the arms sales to Al-qatala? 

Have you ever been to Urzikstan? 

Why kill an innocent doctor? 

Why insulin? 

Why are you betraying 141? 

Why?

Jack is the only one who will look you in the eye, he likes to look you in the eyes but he’s not kind. You become numb to the attacks, the repetitiveness of the torture, you hate that word, torture, it makes you feel guilty. You’re not guilty. Or maybe you are. 

“I wouldn’t use insulin.” You say after a particularly rough session. 

“What’s that?” jack asks, his face up in yours but you can still only just make out his features, nose, lips, chin, in your blurry haze he just looks angry. 

“If I was going to kill him I wouldn’t use insulin, too easy to be traced.” He doesn't like that answer, he doesn’t like anything you say if it’s true or not. 

You enjoy Gaz’s visit’s, he’s the member of 141 you had not met yet, he brings you food and water. You can tell he's not supposed to be there, constantly looking over his shoulder, leaving almost as quickly as he comes. He doesn't question you, doesn't talk to you. Just tries to feed you food, or at least swallow gulps of water that burn your throat.

He doesn’t need to do this for you, you don’t know him, he makes you feel strangely guilty. He’s got kind eyes, dark brown like Simon. 

You don’t see Simon or Johnny anymore, maybe they’ve given up on you, maybe they don’t care. Jack tells you they don’t care. Price is there sometimes you think, it’s getting harder to tell, the passage of time becoming almost impossible to follow, you think it’s been 3 days, maybe 4, maybe 5. Your stomach growls, you haven’t seen the sunlight in days. Your body hurts from being upright all the time. 

“You should give her a break.” It’s Simon’s voice that pulls you out of your half conscious state. You see him stood in the door way, all black, his face covered. It’s not the voice you know, not the kind voice you’re used to it’s something different.

It makes you shiver, makes the hairs stand up on your body. You try not to cry, only letting tears fall down your face after Gaz has been, then you know you’ll be left alone for a few hours. You don’t want to let them break you but it’s becoming harder to think.    

Someone bursts bursts through the door to the room pinning Jack to the wall. The noise makes you jump and you try to lift your head up but it’s too hard, your neck hurts. You blink hearing shouting, then you feel hands on your face, it feels like Johnny’s hands they’re warm he’s forcing you to look at him. Everything is blurry you try to squint. You feel movement behind you. 

“I’m so sorry it took us so long.” It’s Johnny’s voice you’re sure, your head is spinning though, you can’t tell. Your eyes move past Johnny, you think you see Simon, you think that’s him, you feel your head slump in Johnny’s hand as your restraints are cut lose. You must of blacked out for a second because the next thing you know is being on the floor. Johnny scoops you up in his arms and you lean up against his chest. 

“it's over now, we've got you.” Johnny whispers in your ears. You’re blinded by lights as Johnny carries you out to the room to the medbay. You recognise the smell, that’s a good thing you’re not totally broken, you can smell the clean sheets, the smell of antiseptic. There are hands all over you now, people touching you, so many lights. You reach for Johnny, where did he go? You start to panic trying to pull yourself up. Is it a trick? Are they doing this to finally try and break you? 

“Johnny!” You call searching for his hands. You feel a sharp pain travel down your arm. You feel your breath catch in your throat, your body being pressed down. Maybe this is the end you’re in too much pain and too tired to tell. You feel your body slump down as ringing grows louder in your ears, it doesn’t take long before everything goes black. 

——————————   

Johnny wakes to Simon’s hands on his shoulders. He looks over at your body still unconscious with tubes and wires coming off you. Simon pulls a chair up next to him, Simon’s started caring less and less who sees them together, especially at night. 

“The doc’s say the swelling in her head’s gone down.” Johnny says leaning forward in his chair.

“When was the last time you slept?” Simon asks him. 

“Got a nice kip before you woke me.” Johnny replies. Simon sighs, his hand running up the back of Johnny’s neck. 

“You really should get some sleep, some proper sleep.” Simon says. Johnny scoffs. 

“4 days,” he says, looking back up at you. 

“4 day’s, we let her suffer.” Johnny says quieter. Simon sighs his forehead resting on Johnny. He know’s how guilty Johnny feels, he feels the same too, he’s just better at hiding it. 

“Come.” Simon says getting up extending his hand out for him. Johnny looks up at him blinking. 

“Give me five minutes.” Simon pleads. Johnny sighs standing up and following him. He lets Simon guide him all the way to the dorms into Simon’s room. Johnny has never left the bedside since you had been moved to Damascus. Simon had tried to get some alone time with him but he can tell Johnny’s guilt weighs heavy on him, he want’s to be there when you wake.

Simon pulls Johnny into his room, locking the door. Johnny tries to protest but Simon is too quick, his hands guiding Johnny’s hips pushing him against the wall. Simon’s hand slips under the front of his mask pulling it off over his head, he looks up at Johnny his thumb stroking his cheek. Simon looks almost sad, he can see the pain in Johnny’s eyes, the anger, he feels it too.

Simon presses his lips onto Johnny, forcing his tongue in his mouth as his hands reach under his shirt. Johnny seems to relax for a second enjoying the taste of Simon on his lips, playing with his tongue. Simon pulls away moving to Johnny’s neck planting little kisses all the way down. His head tips back hitting the wall as Simon pulls Johnny’s shirt over his head. 

“Si, we shouldn’t leave her.” Johnny says as Simon is burying his head into Johnny's neck. 

“She’ll be fine.” Simon says his voice low, almost a groan, as he continues to run his tongue down Johnny’s neck, Johnny’s hands move up Simon’s back eventually running his fingers through his hair. Johnny doesn’t fight it, enjoying the feel of his husbands hands on his body as Simon’s hands slip under Johnny’s waistband pulling his trousers and boxers down. Simon is moving slow, slow and gentle working his hands down Johnny’s stomach to his abdomen, Johnny is almost desperate, gripping Simon’s hair as he moves his tongue round Johnny’s body. 

“Si..” Johnny moans as Simon’s hands find their way to Johnny’s semi-hard cock. Simon want’s to almost beg Johnny to relax, instead running his hand up and down his shaft. Johnny presses his forehead on Simon’s chest moaning as he pushes his hands under Simon’s shirt. Johnny trembles as Simon uses both his hands to pleasure him, his breathing becoming faster.

Simon keeps Johnny’s body pressed up against the wall as Johnny starts thrusting his hips, fucking Simon’s hands. Johnny had felt this many times before, Simon giving him pleasure, but never quite like this, his emotions high, endorphins pumping through his body, Johnny starts to tense again Simon pulls away, a whimper leaving Johnny’s lips. 

“On the bed.” Simon says guiding him over as Johnny blindly follows his instructions laying flat. Simon takes his boots and the rest of his pants off flinging them to the side. Johnny lays his head back on the pillows as Simon bends down and licks the precum off Johnny’s tip making him moan his hands desperately trying to grab Simon’s hair. Simon smiles then thrusts his mouth round his cock taking him all the way to the hilt.

The pleasure is almost overwhelming, Simon can feel it, Johnny’s body shaking a mix of pleasure and stress. Simon doesn't stop, his hands running up Johnny’s chest as he positions himself in a more comfortably to suck him off. Johnny moans and gasps as Simon’s tongue presses into the underside of Johnny’s cock, Simon can feel him twitching in his mouth enjoying each one as he get’s closer to the edge.

Simon can read Johnny’s body like a book, Johnny thinks he’s sly hiding his movements, his cheeky side glances, the heavy petting Johnny does when he’s in the mood, the way his fingers move around Simon’s body forcing his attention. He thinks he’s good at hiding it but Simon knows him, Simon loves him and right now Simon knows he needs to make Johnny relax.

Johnny’s hips are thrusting again Simon’s hands grip his waist trying to keep it in place. Johnny moans Simon’s name as he cums. Simon likes that, hearing Johnny call his name in the heat of the moment, He feels his own cock twitching in his pants as he rides Johnny through the orgasm making sure that Johnny is well and truly satisfied before pulling his mouth away.

Simon enjoys the taste of Johnny’s cum in his mouth too, the feel of his hot seed hitting the back of his throat and slipping down. Johnny is still panting when Simon moves, sliding up next to him pulling his head on his chest.

Johnny moves to get comftable his head resting on Simon's chest as his heart starts to slow. Simon takes exaggerated breaths and Johnny subconsciously follows him. He reaches down pulling the duvet over Johnny, kissing the top of his head, running his fingers through his hair. 

“You need to rest,” Simon says wrapping his arms round Johnny stroking his back. Johnny’s breathing starts to steady as Simon lowers his voice.

“You do this on purpose,” Johnny says sleepily. Simon smiles, he does do it on purpose. Johnny needs to rest, he’s no good to anyone if he can’t think straight.  

“I’ll wake you if anything happens, I promise.” Simon says kissing his forehead.   

——————————   

The knock at the door pulls Johnny out his sleep, he jolts awake almost fighting over Simon to get out of bed. 

“Easy.” Simon says as he moves swinging his legs out so Johnny can get up.

“You said you’d wake me if anything happened.” Johnny sounds frustrated puling his trousers and shirt on. 

“This is the first thing that’s happened.” Johnny throws Simon’s mask at him opening the door before he gets chance to put it on. It’s only Price.

“She’s awake, she’s asking for you.” Price says. Johnny shoves his feet into his boots as Simon gets up off the bed moving over to the door. Johnny looks back at Simon smiling and rushes out the room pushing past Price. Simon follows Price stopping him in the doorway. 

“What do you want to tell her about Jack?” Price asks. Simon sighs. 

“Laswell found anything?” Simon asks walking with Price, he shakes his head. 

“Still looking, he’ll be punished for the way he questioned her, demoted at the very least, depends on what they feel like. Theres no evidence he spoofed her card we’re lucky there were so many witnesses. We’re lucky we could clear her name so quick.” Price says. It still took 4 days. 

“Think he can justify his actions?” Simon asks. 

“Let’s see, we’ve got other things to focus on now.” Price walks into your room Simon hangs back for a second. A wave of guilt washing over him, he just wants to jump into bed with you and apologise. 4 days we let her suffer, Johnny’s words replaying in his head. Never again, he promises himself. 

Next part

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[ericsonclan]

Babe, Wake Up, It’s Pride Month

Summary: Clementine gets a friendly call from Duck kicking off Pride Month.

Word Count: 924

Read on AO3:

Clementine yawned as she started to make her way towards the bed. She was ready to get under the covers and watch the latest episode of Rupaul’s Drag Race with Louis. Her husband was currently completely absorbed in whatever was on his phone. He kept typing away while Clementine got into bed and kissed him on the cheek.

“Whatcha up to?”

“Getting the text ready for midnight.” Louis mumbled and before Clementine could say anything he spoke again. “It’s time! Send!” He whacked his thumb against his phone then went back to frantically typing. “Aasim, you’re next!”

Clementine’s lips parted, ready to ask what was on his mind when suddenly her phone started to ring. With a quick glance she saw who it was.

“Hey, Duck,”

“Happy Pride! How’s my favorite bi doing? Feeling gay? Because I sure do!” His voice blew up her phone, making Clementine hold it back from her ear.

“Hell yeah I’m feeling gay! And happy pride to you too,” She glanced over and saw the mountain of a text her husband was preparing. That’s why he was so glued to his phone. “So, you just calling to say ‘gay rights’ or are you wanting to party?”

“Seriously?!?! Hell yeah! Yo, Knox, wanna party at Clem and Louis’?”

Clementine could hear Duck’s partner say something but it was too quiet to tell what.

“Tell Oakley we won’t be too loud,” Clementine added.

“Okay, they said yes anyway but I’ll let them know! I gotta call one more person and then the pan squad will be there!”

Duck hung up without another word and Clementine shook her head. Oh yeah - maybe she should make a few more calls.

Violet grumbled as she kept hearing her phone ding with texts. She tried her best to ignore it and instead burrowed her face further into the crook of Prisha’s neck. She knew what those texts were gonna be. Pride celebrations could wait; all she wanted to do right now was be with her wife. Fate didn’t seem to agree with those plans though as there was a knock on their front door. Violet sighed but ignored it until it kept going and going.

“Mmm, what’s that sound?” Prisha mumbled as she tried to blink the sleep out of her eyes.

“It doesn’t matter. Whoever’s there is gonna go away,” But Violet was proven wrong when the knocking continued.

“I’ll go check who it is,” Prisha slipped out of bed before Violet could say otherwise and blindly wandered through the apartment. She double checked to make sure her pepper spray was within reach if worst came to worst. Unlocking the door, she opened it and was immediately surprised when colorful confetti of pinks, oranges and white hit her directly in the face.

“Happy Pride, ya gay!” Renata beamed at Prisha who looked completely exhausted and confused. Her feelings only deepened as Sophie popped her head into view.

“Whoa! Congrats on being gay!” Sophie blew into a rainbow party horn causing it to shoot out and whack Prisha in the forehead.

“Why are you two here at three in the morning?”

“Because it’s Pride Month! Now we gotta hurry - to the Everett household!’ Renata declared then was off like a shot with Sophie right behind. Prisha stood there for a moment then silently closed the door. It was too early in the morning to deal with this.

“Minnie, Min!”

Minnie heard her wife’s voice as she was shaken awake.

“Babe, wake up, it’s Pride month!”

Minnie groggily opened her eyes and saw Renata’s bright smile.

“Yay! You’re finally awake!’ Renata started to kiss all over Minnie’s face while the ginger started to wake up.”

“Ren, what time is it?” Minnie looked over at the clock and saw that it was five AM. Way earlier than Renata usually got up but not so much for her.

“Come on, we gotta go!” Renata pulled at Minnie who was still waking up.

“What? Where?”

“To the first of many celebrations!” Renata wiggled her eyebrows playfully then kept pulling her wife along. It took Minnie a while before she realized they were heading to her old family house. When she arrived she was met with a flurry of confetti to her face.

“WOOO! You’re gay!” Sophie grinned then disappeared back into the kitchen. Minnie followed behind Renata who was busy helping Tenn make colorful pride pancakes.

“Hey there, Firefly,” Walter walked over and gave his daughter a hug. “Happy pride,”

“Thanks,” Minnie was still a bit groggy. “Oh yeah, happy pride,” She watched as her dad let go of the hug and wandered back into the kitchen.

“Matthew, we’re gonna need some more coffee,”

“You got it!”

Minnie watched her family for a minute before she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Glancing down she saw that she had a ton of texts with the most recent being from James. As she opened it she finally registered what it said.

Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈 I hope you have a great start to the month. Also I was wondering if you wanted to join me on a walk later today. I found a great new hiking spot

Minnie smiled down at the message then sent one back.

Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈 and yeah sounds good

She clicked through all the messages and worked to reply to some when she heard her wife’s voice again.

“Minipie, come on, you gotta celebrate too!”

“Okay, okay,” Minnie smiled then put her phone away. She could tell this was gonna be a great Pride month.

[btsandvmin]

Do you think any of the bts members are part of the lgbtq+ community? I assume you think vmin are, what makes you think that? I kinda feel like jimin could be bi... while tae gay maybe? And Yoongi could be bi as well. Tbh they all kinda give off gay vibes, but I guess it's bc of the cultural difference and bc they are all so close... so they may do things that seem a lot to many people but not to them... so who knows? A lot could be fan service too. But Namjoon and Jin are the ones who definitely give me straight vibes (Jin a bit less tho). What do you think?

I think there might be members that are LGBT+, but of course that’s just based on how I percieve things. I apologize in advance for this answer being a bit messy... As you say there are many things that make such speculation difficult.

Honestly putting definite labels on someone is not something I really want to or think we can do... Sometimes the members do things that might indicate interest in various genders, but that’s still too vague to define a sexuality for me. Unless they say something themselves, I don’t think we can know. 

I mean, even assuming someone you know is LGBT+ is gay, pan, bi etc. with a specific label without them having told you is so common and can even lead to mislabeling someone. One obvious example is how bi-erasure makes someone go from straight to being gay when they start dating someone of the same gender etc. There are so many types of sexualites and gender expressions to begin with. Some don’t even accociate with a label at all. For example I personally think Namjoon seems to be attracted to women, but even if that is a correct guess it doesn’t have to mean he is straight. 

It’s very complicated, at least for me, to dive too deep into it with anything except “hunches or guesses” based on behavior and actions. This becomes even more complicated when we add difference in culture, idol fanservice, personal comfortableness with intimacy, level or homophobia or supportive people around them and personal experience etc. 

BTS likely can’t even be honest with their sexualities if they are LGBT+ and that makes it even more difficult to know depending on if they even want to show that part of themselves or not. Internalized homobhobia can be very strong, even though I suspect BTS being more and more open towards LGBT+ might help if members are non straight. And we still don’t know anything about how their families or friends would react etc. Not to mention we know a lot of fans would hate them and leave them if they ever proved to definitely be non straight. So them hiding being LGBT is obviously going to make it more difficult to guess if any member might be LGBT+, if they on purpse try to not show it. For example saying some things are not for men to do, or being careful with how they come across. Something I personally think Jimin for example might have done more in the past, as he is aware how he can fit into a lot of stereotypes for what is “gay” or feminine. The same goes for Hobi who can be very flamboyant. And while these things can be an indication for sexuality or gender identity they don’t have to be. Especially not when idols even get encouraged at times to act or more “delicate or feminine” or do fanservice with the same sex etc. There are a lot of blurred lines, and those lines can be a bit fluid as well...

There are also soooo many colors of the rainbow that I don’t think it’s weird for a lot of idols to be part of the community in some ways, even if they might never openly be so. Some might also be allies, some might be curious or unsure about themselves and some might be in straight up denial as well.

So, I rather just guess if they might be LGBT+ than what exact label, because going in to detail is so personal and different from person to person.

I also want to say again, that “straight until proven otherwise” honestly needs to go away, and assuming someone is straight is a toxic way to assume sexuality. Not to mention it’s much more harmful to shut down conversations about them possibly being LGBT+ than mistaking a straight person for possibly LGBT+. A LGBT+ person might have no choice to hide (very likely in the case of idols), so showing we are open and supportive no matter what is what matters the most.

That being said I feel it’s very very likely at least some members are LGBTQ+ if not for anything else than comments like “when we don’t have boyfriends or girlfriends” from Namjoon and other moments like it, in combination with their support for the community. At the very least they are allies.

Personally the way some members involve themselves in LGBT+ culture in various ways I see as something to more likely happen when you are part of the community yourself and not just an ally. But BTS having the influence they have of course it could all also be meant to be inclusive and show support as they have for various causes. That’s why it all still remains uncertain.

I will make a more articulate section on Taehyung and Jimin’s possibly being LGBT+ in my bigger analysis. But I will try to summarize a little bit of my thoughts in this answer and hope that it all makes sense.

Big Hit in general and in particular Bang PD seem to be pretty open and LGBT+ friendly. Many concepts of Big Hit artists can have LGBT+ subtext. It’s not always explicit, but something many rainbow ARMY might pick up on, like the storyline between JK and Yoongi in the BU. For example reading Demian which the whole BST era is based on I personally see a lot of LGBT+ subtext in that book (which is then also fitting with other things we know about Hermann Hesse’s life). But a lot of people won’t pick up on it and we can’t know for sure because no one ever explicitly says it is meant to be LGBT+.

Many BTS members support LGBT+ artists, it doesn’t have to be because of them being LGBT+ but it wouldn’t be odd for them to search for representation and artists to relate to if they are LGBT+ themselves. Mostly we have seen Tae, Namjoon and JK being more “loud” witht their support for LGBT+ artists, songs, movies, books etc.

Namjoon, Tae and JK have all expressed support in various ways directly to LGBT+ fans that have showed up to fansites.

Members like Yoongi has straight up said it’s nothing wrong, everyone is equal, when Namjoon was a bit more “diplomatical” and tried to swerve the question a bit. Both could still be LGBT+, and both could be allies, even with very different reactions.

I think all members have their moments to show LGBT+ support, and all members have “questionable moments” that makes people speculate about their sexualities. For me Tae, Namjoon, Yoongi and JK seem to be the most open about support or showing interesting in LGBT+ things. But that can also have to do with their personalities, or even feeling less scared to show support.  In some cases it might even be easier for an ally to speak up for someone LGBT+ when they can’t themselves, as in a closeting situation.

I know you asked about all members, but I want to be honest and say that while I do know a bit about all of them, I do know a lot more about some members than others. I am also kind of sitting here and aren’t sure I can say more than I think all of BTS are allies, and that it seems likely at least some members are LGBT+. I have seen small things from basically all members, but I haven’t seen enough to lean heavily towards any particular sexuality. So, while I am sharing my thoughts here they can sway back an forth a lot and can very much just be based on misinterpretation. It can also be difficult to put a definite reason to why I react more to some members doing similar things.

Based on actions alone, because I try not to bring in vibes, I guess the short summary would be:

Jin - Has talked the most about wanting a girlfriend, and while he has said things like his celeberity crush is Brad Pitt I haven’t seen a lot with him in regards to LGBT+. To me less likely to be LGBT+.

Yoongi - Has been very firm with being supportive of LGBT+ and has had both lyrics and interviews that could be interpreted as gender not being important to him in general. Doesn’t show a lot, but the things he does say seem very pointed and deliberate. To me more likely to be LGBT+.

Namjoon - Has been the loudest since the earliest with his support for LGBT+. Wrote LGBT+ lyrics for Glam but also very sexual lyrics about women in early songs. Has talked about queer culture a lot and while he seems careful at times has expressed a lot of open support. Enjoys a lot of queer culture and has recomended movies, songs and books. Has showed more personal interest towards women, but seem very interested in LGBT+. Definitely an ally, likely into women, but also very possibly into other genders. To me more somewhere “in the middle” or more likely LGBT+.

Hobi - Has done subtle things like wearing rainbow belts during pride, but seemed to start being more LGBT+ supportive when all of BTS did so. Could possibly be non straight or also just very comfortable with himself and an ally. (He has “effiminate or flamboyant” behavior but I don’t want to lean too much into that.) Buuuut he also accidentally said stuff like “boyfriend”. To me “somewhere in the middle”, or more likely to be LGBT+.

JK - Seem to avoid questions about women/crushes and sometimes even answering with men (Like Namjoon or Ironman). Is the most “feminine” according to members (though that was a while ago) and is very open to expressing things in a gender neutral way. The member who has said the least in regards to masculine stereotypes like “men should” and also one of the members who is the loudest about LGBT+ artists. Also having done covers by LGBT+ artists without changing pronouns. To me more likely to be LGBT+.

I am fully aware I just basically said I think almost all members are likely to be LGBT+. But I really try to just look at them as individuals. It’s also as I said much more difficult for me to be able to truly know their thoughts in regards to LGBT+ based on such limited information as the subject in itself is partly taboo. It’s also possible with such a close knit group that if some members are LGBT+ that will affect and make other members more open as well. Basically the way BTS express support doesn’t have to be personal for all of them.

However, despite it all I think Taehyung is the member who seems to be the “most loud” in a personal way when it comes to LGBT+ (and also Yoongi). For me it makes sense with their personalities and how they are outspoken in general for something they believe in. @romanticdrift​ recently answered an ask (HERE) with a lot of good points, and in particular when it comes to Taehyung’s possible sexuality. This is why I feel Jin who also is quite outspoken in general but haven’t talked a lot (at least not to my knowledge) about LGBT+ things feel more like an ally in comparison. 

For me there are many things about Taehyung over the years I can’t help but think of when it comes to LGBT+ and have given me reason to wonder about Taehyung himself being part of the community. Especially when putting them all together it seems to be something important to him.

Talking about many things and people from queer culture. Not just enjoying them but sharing it with fans.

Singing songs like Stigma about being a sinner for something you can’t help or change. Many of Taehyung’s songs many LGBT+ fans relate to.

The reference to the gay movie “Moonlight” in a self written song, and most of Tae’s songs being gender neutrual. (All except Winter Bear).

The meaning of the color purple as the last color of the rainbow.

Saying “thank you” to fans with a pride flag at a concert.

Since early on having no problem with crossdressing or other things that might “look gay” (there are also moments where he has objected like “men don’t do...” as most BTS members have). But we also have things like randomly doing roleplay where he can’t be together with Jimin. I mention this because it wasn’t for a camera, but something Jin told us.

Talking about the reason for his Christmas song not being with Jimin. The fact that he highlighted the reason as the lyrics not fitting two men and going on to say he doesn’t think he will ever release it. To me this is probably the most personal example where Tae seems bothered about something homophobic.

Basically there is something in the way Taehyung expresses his support that just seem more personal, and more tied to himself. He isn’t just loud with support ike some other members, he expresses things like he relates to it more openly.

For Jimin I think he is more difficult with actual examples of openly supporting or expressing things LGBT+. And it’s difficult looking at him without going into gender norms and falling into sterotype traps as well. I do think Jimin has changed a lot and as many other members wear a lot more gender neutrual clothes etc. If I make this about Vmin I would even say Jimin’s image properly seemed to become a bit more “soft” around the time Taehyung gave him the Gucci sweater, which was gender neutral. Think more Jimin in sweater paws and soft oversized clothes. 

It could also be an image change as Spring Day era definitely brought a lot of softer Jimin. However, I want to emphasis here that Jimin still to this day has a lot of styles and outfits that are also very masculine. And that many other members also wear gender neutral clothes. Not to mention that clothes can express things without being tied to sexuality or gender of the person who wears them.

For me I think it can be even more ambigious with clothes only because often we don’t know if they decided the clothes or if it was a choice by a stylist etc. And we know most members have worn gender neutral clothes or womens clothes, especially for performances or photoshoots. So personal clothes I see as of more importance. For example Yoongi wearing very limited edition Pro-LGBTQ+ shoes as his personal clothes (HERE).

Back to Jimin... I personally see Jimin as a very aware and careful person when it comes to how he is percieved in general. Thus if he is LGBT+ I think he unlike Taehyung would likely be more careful. So, Jimin showing less directly LGBT+ support might be a choice out of acting careful. No matter if he is LGBT+ himself or not. But it does make things more vague. But he also painted the symbol of bigender on himself, so.

The things I have noted except for his image over the years are fewer than with many other members, and I try to not to put too much weight on his looks and manners and “vibes”, even if those things can be because of him being LGBT+.

Jimin has sometimes acted a bit defensive about his sexuality/masculinity, but he has never denied the possibility of him liking men despite getting asked.

Jimin is a member who has perhaps the most (together with Tae and Hobi) showed a liking for fanservice between members. (Doesn’t have to show his sexuality, but could also be a place where he gets to express something he usually can’t).

Lie is a song about not showing your true self and hurting/being punished. Jimin has been very vague when speaking of the meaning of the song. It’s a song many LGBT+ fans also relate to.

Jimin is a naturally flirty person, and the flirting doesn’t seem to be limited to one gender. But, it doesn’t have to be flirting based on attraction.

The bigender symbol in the hero photoshoot and the Filter performance playing with gender identity.

In general, there is just a lot less direct things when it comes to Jimin and LGBT+. Which doesn’t surprise me considering his personality. There are moments of course, like liking LGBT+ artists like Kehlani or reacting to pride flags at concerts. But at least to me there is a lot less to actually analyze when it comes to Jimin and LGBT+ moments and that makes things more difficult. So, to me Jimin is probably someone I am more unsure of, which might be surprising to some of you, especially considering this is a Vmin blog. But because of Jimin’s personality and early reactions/behavior I also am not at all surprised if he is more careful on purpose, especially if he is LGBT+.

Interesting to me as a Vmin shipper is also that quite a few of Taehyung’s LGBT+ things could possibly be related to Jimin. For example the line from “Moonlight” in 4 o’clock or Tae asking if Jimin can “be the girlfriend” while roleplaying. Not to mention the Christmas song of course. But I don’t want to use things from Taehyung to try and guess about Jimin. Basically looking at only them as individuals Jimin is less likely to be LGBT+ than Tae, but I do still think the chance of both of them being queer is there.

And if I then dive into Vmin's behavior with each other assuming they are both queer, that might show some interesting things too. But that will always be based on the IF, not as proof for their sexualites.

So, that was my view... I have been asked about this quite a few times, and I hope this post made sense. I know it was long and messy, but that’s also because sexuality can be such a difficult topic.

Thanks for the ask. If you enjoyed this and want to support me you can like, reblogg, comment or check out my Ko-Fi page: https://ko-fi.com/K3K43433H

[thebibliosphere]

My Heart’s In The Highlands by Amy Hoff (Book Review)

Hey fam, we ready to talk about a Scottish lesbian time traveling romance? 

Also, just an upfront disclaimer on this one: I received an ARC (advance review copy) copy of this book from the Publisher and am writing this review voluntarily.

A Quick Summary:

My Heart’s in the Highlands by Amy Hoff is a sapphic time travel romance set in Scotland, starting in the late 1880s.  Lady Jane Crichton is a learned woman of science (based on the historic ‘Edinburgh Seven’), who has spent her lifetime railing against the restraints of Scottish Victorian life and the expectations placed upon her. Fortunately for Jane, she finds herself in a marriage of convenience (he’s gay and needed a beard to protect his political career, and she needed the financial freedom and support of a wealthy patron. They’re buds about it.) and with the help of her husband, Jane is able to fund her own research and builds a functioning time machine. 

Unfortunately for Jane her time machine malfunctions during one of its voyages, and she finds herself thrown back in time, crash landing into the 13th century. And also into Ainslie nic Dòmhnaill, who is next in line to inherit the great Clan Donald. Which is one hell of a way to find out your a lesbian, but also 10/10 would willingly fall back in time and into the arms of a buff Scottish warrior woman. But Jane also holds a secret. She knows what will become of these lands, and to the people that live on them, and she must choose between her fairy tale romance, or the harsh reality of history that lies ahead. Can her and  Ainslie’s love survive? Or will they be torn apart by time? 

Review:

Okay, so for some perspective going into this review, I am a Scottish editor, and I have worked extensively in the realms of Scottish Historical Romance. Most of you have probably heard of the term ‘Britpacker,’ so if it helps, think of me as a ‘Scots Sifter’—I catch chunks of inaccuracy and gently nudge the phonetic (mis)spellings toward the realms of the accurate. And as a Scottish person who reads romance for both fun and work, it’s a breath of fresh air to read someone who knows what they are doing in this regard. The historical details many readers crave are there in spades, lovingly rendered through beautiful and flowing prose. The (accurate!!!) use of Scots and Gaelic are also masterfully included in the dialect without feeling contrived, and overall enriches the narrative. Hoff is someone who loves Scottish culture and knows it well, and it shows.

(A note for history foodie buffs: I caught one slip-up in the form of potatoes being mentioned in the 13th century when they didn’t arrive in Scotland until 1739. I am, however, willing to concede that perhaps our heroine Lady Jane is perhaps not the first time traveler to have crash-landed into the Highlands. The others were merely better supplied. EDIT: I’ve been informed this error will be corrected in the next print.) As a heroine, Lady Jane is charmingly out of time and place even before she sets foot in her time machine. A woman in her later thirties (a novelty I’ll never tire of in Romance), she holds many convictions and beliefs, both about history and herself. All of which are proven wrong the moment she is flung back in time and meets the charming (and I cannot stress this enough) incredibly buff warrior woman, Ainslie nic Dòmhnaill. Setting aside my more analytical interests in this text, allow me to just say, I would die for Ainslie; something which I feel secure in saying would not happen, as Ainslie would murder anyone that tried. (And I would hold her golden torque and flower all starry-eyed while she did it.) However, there were one or two things that jumped out at me, both as a reader and an editor. While some scenes are concisely eloquent, there are a areas where pacing (and grammar) fall down, and the book feels like it could use with tightening up with another pass at editing. There was very little build up to the romance itself, which is fine, the instant true love trope is a well-loved trope for a reason. But it felt out of character for Jane, who presents initially as either on the demi or ace spectrum, but then falls immediately, if not in love, then certainly in lust with Ainslie. If this was intentional, I cannot say, but her sudden switch in dynamic is jarring and could have used a little gentler development.

Once the romance begins, it is sweet and enjoyable for the most part, but also again not without issue. There’s a distinct lack of verbal consent which modern readers might find discomfiting, especially in the LGBTQ+ spheres which paved the way for better consent and relationship dynamics in modern romance, and if I were asked to tag this book, I’d likely opt to tag it as “dubious consent” just to cover any potential triggers for people who would be unsettled by that sort of thing. (“Tell me no” being met with silence is not the same as consent. It might have worked 20 years ago in publishing, but it wouldn’t/shouldn’t fly now.) I like the characters dearly. Ainslie is smitten with Jane the moment she sets eyes on her, even if Jane is initially very awkward and prickly. Jane is also taken with her glorious redheaded warrior, and frankly, who could blame her? The book also has several of my favorite romantic tropes in it, including the all-time favorite “There’s Only One Bed”, though I wish more had been made of them. The sex scenes are hot and also sweetly endearing at times, though again I would like to see more explicit consent. Overall, it’s not a bad debut novel into the forays of Romance for a first-time Romance author. It’s enjoyable, but I am left with nagging the feeling that it could have been so much more. To my mind, where this book truly excels is Hoff’s love affair with history and Scotland itself. Their narrative shines in moments of reflection, and the subtle and nuanced injections of historical detail, which in my experience, are rarely done so well in this genre. But this is however a Romance novel, and the time-traveling scientist lesbian and her buff redhead warrior girlfriend felt second fiddle to the history at times, which was disappointing because how often do you get to say those words together? Not enough, in my opinion. Overall, I’d rate this as 3.5 out of 5, though it would have been a solid four were it not for the issues surrounding pacing and consent. If Hoff chose to continue the series, however, I’d absolutely be down for more of it. I want to see the characters grow and thrive. I just think a little more experience with the genre (and better editing) is needed first. My Heart’s In the Highlands is available now on Kindle, Paperback, and most other online retail stores. You can also buy directly from the Publisher.

[threeletterslife]

05 | Illegirl

→ previous | next

→ summary: Excelling in every school subject, acing every math test and conquering the academic world is something you do as easily as breathing. As your residential social outcast nerd, you live rather as a recluse, talking to almost no one except for your dear ol’ cousin and that sweet boy in a few of your classes—Jungkook? was that his name? Befriending your ʰᵒᵗ AP stats teacher was the last thing on your high school senior agenda…

→ genre: 90% fluff, 8% crack, 2% angst | teacher!au & f2l!au

→ warnings: profanity, mentions of depression

→ wordcount: 5.8k

You've already met with your math club several times, each time proving how talented each member of the club was. You're in another lunch meeting as you and your teammates enjoy your lunches while playing math jeopardy.

Everyone had even convinced Jimin to play the game, strategically separating you and him into different teams. Even so, your team was winning to your absolute delight, but just by 100 points.

"I choose the last problem," Jungkook says, grinning at you. "The 100 pointer, mental math."

Your competitive self couldn't bear to lose, so naturally, you're wishing Jungkook gets the problem wrong (he's on Jimin's team), though it's a bad thing to wish for—your first math competition is this weekend.

"The problem is 75 plus 167 times 598," Jimin reads from his computer screen. "You better get this right, Jungkook, this is the easiest problem on the jeopardy board."

You're 100% sure you're frowning now. You want to win, you don't want to tie and you know with Jungkook's skill, he would get this correct with ease.

"99,931," Jungkook says with little thought, shrugging.

At that, you and a couple of others on your team scream in delight. "No way!" you shout, jumping up and down and squealing.

Jimin sighs, pinching the little bridge of his nose. "Jungkook, you can't make easy mistakes like this," he says. "Y/N's team, would you take the steal?"

"99,941," you say immediately, grinning at your teacher, who nods in defeat. "We win!" you shout as your teammates squeal in happiness. "Everyone played so well today," you compliment, smiling. "Remember, competition is on Saturday, get some rest, there will be some tough competitors but I believe we can still win."

The club members all nod, looking determined to win the first competition.

"Everybody is dismissed early," Jimin tells his students. "You've got about twenty-five more minutes of lunch."

As everyone starts to file out of the math classroom, your teacher turns to smile at you. "As pissed I am that my team didn't win, I'm proud of you, Y/N," he says. "Jin would be proud too."

You blush slightly, feeling flattered. "It wasn't even the real competition," you say.

"But we know you'll do even better in the real competition," Jungkook says, startling you and your teacher.

Jimin chuckles. "Mr. Jeon, you're still here?" he teases, a playful look twinkling in his eyes. "I have a feeling that your little calculation error was intended," he adds.

You swear you see Jungkook flush as he looks down at his feet. "I can make mistakes too," he says quickly, but even in your eyes, that was a bad lie. "Besides, Y/N's team deserved to win."

"Because Y/N's in it?" Jimin teases again.

"Ji—Mr. Park, don't tease him," you laugh. "Hey, Jungkook, you'll be fine for the competition."

"Thanks," Jungkook says as he smiles. Then he fidgets, looking down at his feet again. Finally, he looks up at you shyly, his bangs shading half of his eyes from your view. "Y-Y/N, would you like to finish lunch with me?"

You glance nervously at your teacher who gives you a look, motioning you to go with your teammate. "Oh, uh, yeah, sure," you say with a tad bit of reluctance in your voice.

Jimin smiles at you proudly as Jungkook beams. "Oh, okay! You can meet my friends!" your peer exclaims excitedly as he practically skips out of the classroom.

You sigh as you give your teacher one last look. "I'd rather eat with you," you say as you follow Jungkook.

As you shut the door to the math class, you swear you hear Jimin say: "you and me both, Y/N."

"You and Mr. Park seem very close," Jungkook comments as you two walk across the green grass field and towards a shady spot where your classmate says his friends would be waiting.

"Ah, yeah. He's a good teacher," you say, brushing off the topic. "Isn't he?"

"Uh, yeah, of course," Jungkook answers right away, fidgeting nervously again. "Oh, um, Y/N, just a heads up, my friends are um... I should just warn y—"

"Hey, Jeon! You back from nerd club?"

You whirl around to see two guys waving at you and Jungkook, both sitting on the grass.

"Yup!" Jungkook answers as he unexpectedly takes your arm and runs towards his friends. "Guys, this is Y/N. Y/N, these are my friends, Taehyung and Yoongi."

You squint at Jungkook's friends. They were definitely not studious—though you probably shouldn't judge a book by its cover, their clothes, their hairstyles were definitely not your typical nerd's wear. And you were proven correct the moment they opened their mouths.

"Hey, aren't you the nerd girl Jungkook always talks about?" the one named Yoongi asks, smirking.

"Always talks about?" you ask, looking towards Jungkook who was blushing and kicking at the grass. "Do you love the math club that much?" you say, saving the poor boy from further humiliation.

Jungkook nods at you, silently thanking you for the save. "Yeah, it's a great club," he replies hastily.

"Just date her already," Taehyung mutters under his breath as he pops a cherry in his mouth.

Yoongi nods as he lays back on the grass. "Everyone in the whole goddamn school knows of your little crush on Y/N, Jungkook."

"Quit bugging him," you tell Jungkook's friends, as you see your classmate squirm. "I didn't know of his crush and guess what—I know now because of you two," you lie easily. Jungkook fidgets next to you, shifting uncomfortably. "I'll forget I ever heard this conversation," you assure him.

Jungkook nods, smiling to himself at your thoughtfulness—except, you weren't being thoughtful, you were just trying not to make the whole lunch awkward as fuck.

"I think you'll be an adorable couple though," Taehyung says, giggling.

Adorable.

The word hits you hard as you get certain horrible flashbacks from the time where you had gone to a specific coffee shop with your teacher—even the way that Taehyung had said the dreaded word was all too familiar too. You are slightly triggered.

You sigh, getting annoyed at Jungkook's friends' persistence. "I'm not allowed to date," you finally fib. "My cousin would kill me if he found me walking around with a boyfriend."

"Oh?" Yoongi asks, raising an eyebrow. "So you're saying you would date our Jungkookie if you could."

You almost blurt out an 'I never said that' but think better of it—the poor boy was sitting right next to you. You shrug. "I don't know."

That's it, Y/N! Nice dodge!

"Why are you two so fixated on Jungkook's love life, anyway?" you ask, exasperated. "Got no girls of your own?"

Your sudden outburst shuns Taehyung and Yoongi as Jungkook chuckles. "That would be correct," Jungkook teases. "They've got boys instead."

You frown, confused until you get the joke.

Your face lights up as you start to laugh. "Did you just expose your gay friends?" you snort.

"Kook!" Taehyung screams as he lunges for your classmate.

Yoongi just rolls his eyes. "Gay and proud," he shrugs, smirking slightly at you. It was almost as if knowing his gay secret made you his friend. "That," Yoongi says, pointing to Taehyung, "is what panicked gay looks like."

You snort again. "What a group," you chuckle.

"It won't be a group if I don't make it alive out of Taehyung's beating!" Jungkook cries desperately as Taehyung has him pinned to the ground.

You giggle. "You two look adorable," you say as Taehyung flinches.

"Gross! No! Kook will always be a friend!" Taehyung shouts as he flies off of Jungkook, rubbing his arms as if to get rid of invisible senior-boy cooties.

You laugh, feeling better with the three goof-balls as your company. "So, Taehyung," you start, turning to the rather handsome-looking boy, "any chance you have a sister that works at Wattbucks?"

Why am I so nervous?

Your fingers are anxiously dancing around the hem of your shirt as you look at the scoreboard. It was your biggest fear—you were tied. And it was the final round of the math competition; whoever won would take the trophy home. The other schools had rather been easy to beat, all of your teammates were on their best game, no one had made a mistake so far and you hoped it would stay that way until you won.

Yet, you were having doubts. The school you were up against were just as good as your team and now you were getting fretful, looking out at the crowd to search for your cousin and teacher, wanting the comfort they could give you. But you couldn't find them.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the tie-breaker problem," the host says dangerously into the microphone.

You literally want to shatter into pieces, that's how hard your heart is beating. You don't know why you're so nervous—it was just your first competition. Maybe it was because you were so competitive, or maybe you really wanted to make Jimin and Jin proud.

"Each school captain may pick one member, excluding themselves, from their team after reading the final problem," the host adds as he walks over to you, handing you a piece of paper with the problem on it and then walking over to your opponent and handing them a piece of paper.

Your hands are shaking as you look at the paper. The long problem doesn't register in your brain at all and panicked, you look into the crowd again. This time, you spot your cousin and your teacher, waving at you. Jin blows you a kiss as Jimin gives two thumbs up and a large smile. Instantly, you feel better.

When you look down at the problem again, you understand it right off the bat. It's a word problem, requiring a lot of mental math since it required the calculation of time. You don't hesitate. "Jungkook," you call. "You're up, good luck!"

"Well, shit," you can hear your classmate mutter as he nervously walks up the stage. He turns around to give you a look and all you can do is give him two thumbs up and a large smile. Jungkook smiles back at you as his posture becomes more confident and he turns to the big screen behind him where the problem would be displayed.

The opponent too stepped out to the stage and stood right in front of Jungkook. You were secretly wishing the scrawny-looking boy of the other team fucked up big time, letting your team take the win. But you knew that wasn't going to happen. You've been watching that team closely, the scrawny boy was the second-best member, right below the captain. The host walks up to the Jungkook and Scrawny boy, handing them both a microphone.

"The final, tie-breaker problem will be displayed on the screen behind the two contestants. Please, when the buzzer rings, turn around and proceed to solve the problem. The first one to speak in the mic and speak the correct answer will win the tournament for his team!"

The crowd is silent with watchful eyes and you stare desperately at the back of Jungkook's head.

I swear if he fails I will literally skin him alive.

The buzzer rings, making you jump back into reality. You see as Scrawny boy and Jungkook both whirl around, quickly skimming through the word problem, their eyes moving frantically across the screen.

"C'mon, Jungkook," you whisper to yourself; you're probably more nervous than your peer up on stage.

It's been two agonizing minutes and you start to worry if the problem is too hard. You had just finished solving it mentally, figuring out the answer was the fourth day of February. Yet you weren't so sure if Jungkook knew.

Then: "The fourth day of February!" Jungkook exclaims into his microphone, his eyes lighting up.

You scream as you jump up and down. He had won! You had won! Your team had won!

But the host frowns and accordingly, your heart drops. "I'm sorry, the first day of February is not the correct answer."

"What?!" you shriek from the side. You're ready to burst—why on earth would they choose a host that's part deaf? Jungkook has clearly said fourth, not first.

"Actually, I said the fourth day of February," Jungkook calmly corrects the host.

"Oh, excuse me, I apologize," the man says, turning slightly red.

"Yeah, well fuck him," you mutter as Nicole, Sarah and August all giggle.

"It seems that we have a winner!" the host calls. You can't even hear what he says next because you, Nicole, Sarah and August are all screaming. Your heart flutters as you jump up and down, your smile stretching across your bright face. From the corner of your eye, you catch Jungkook smiling at you and you smile back.

Jeon Jungkook, I am so fucking proud of you.

"We fucking won!" you scream as you slam into your cousin, trying to lift him up to spin him around. But your cousin was heavier than he looks so you quickly give up.

"Y/N! You can't stay that!" Jin tells you as he pats your head. You cock your head, ready for him to discipline you about your manners. "You didn't just win, you beat their butts! You crushed them! You snatched victory!" Jin announces in a theatrical voice as he hugs you. "I'm so proud of you and your team!"

Jimin scoffs next to you and your cousin. "Jin, you are the worst sore winner I've ever seen."

"What? You've gotta congratulate when they deserve it," Jin says in a 'duh' tone.

"Fine," Jimin says, as he rolls his eyes. "C'mere," he mutters as he tugs you in to hug you. Your heart leaps out and you freeze at the sudden contact. "I'm so proud of you, Y/N," Jimin says right in your ear. You get chills.

But before you become a legitimate statue, you shake yourself out of your daze and hug your teacher back. "I'm so proud of myself too," you comment smartly.

Jimin chuckles, pulling away from the innocent hug. "Always the confidence." He grins, his eye-smile almost knocking the wind out of you.

"YOON FUCKING Y/N!" someone screams from the side, making you jump. You turn around to see Jungkook's besties, Taehyung and Yoongi dashing towards you with amazing speed. Walking casually behind them is Jungkook, who's smiling shyly.

"SUCH A LEGEND!" Yoongi screams again.

"A GODDESS!" Taehyung wheezes.

Everyone turns to look at Jungkook, curious to what he'll say.

"Uh, a genius?" Jungkook tries, looking down at his shoes.

Taehyung scoffs. "That's implied."

"But legend and goddess aren't?" Jungkook snaps back.

The sudden overflow of compliments leaves you a blushing mess as you stutter: "I-I'm not that amazing, guys," you say as modestly as you can. "Jungkook was the one who got the winning answer right. Besides, everyone did well today."

"You're right," Jimin says, smiling. "C'mon, Jungkook, be a man and give Y/N a congratulatory hug."

"You can't be less of a man than your two gay besties," Yoongi sings mockingly as Taehyung slaps his shoulder.

It's not just Jungkook who's blushing—you are too. Why was it that everyone was always pairing you and Jungkook together?

The shy boy sighs as he scoots closer to you, awkwardly pulling you into a soft hug. "You were amazing today; I mean, like any day," he says.

You smile at his sincerity. "Hey, you're our winner today."

The two of you pull away to a crowd of people screaming.

"THEY FINALLY HUGGED!" you hear Taehyung shrieking somewhere in the background.

You cock your head, confused.

How come you weren't feeling the sparks that everyone else assumed you had?

"So, Jin ditched you again," Jimin laughs as you enter his classroom after school.

"Well, you know his theater team keeps winning so he has to be away," you say. "Got a problem with it?"

"If it means I can hang with you, no," Jimin answers, standing up as he takes off his black-bordered glasses.

You chuckle as you roll your eyes. "So, no grading papers today?" you ask, pointing to Jimin's clean desk.

"Nope. I'm doing something even better. I'm going to clean the classroom."

You scrunch your nose. "Yeah, have fun with that. I guess I'll walk home today." There was no way in hell you were going to clean the classroom. You knew what went down in the student's seats during class. You shudder slightly at the thought.

Jimin laughs. "And risk being killed by Jin for not taking care of you? No thanks. You're staying with me."

You frown. "Yeah, nah. Bye." You start to walk towards the door.

"I'll buy you food," Jimin offers.

You stop walking. "What kind of food?" you ask as you slowly turn around.

"Anything you want," Jimin laughs.

"A five-star meal at a fancy restaurant," you say greedily.

Jimin laughs to your dismay. Goddammit, you always forget this little bitch is loaded. "Whatever anything you wa—" Jimin starts but you interrupt him.

"I'm just playing," you say, rolling your eyes. "Ice cream will do," you giggle as you perch on top of your desk.

Jimin rolls his eyes. "I still admire Jin who deals with you. Anyways, we're gonna start by wiping the desks."

You sigh. "This is going to be disgusting," you comment as Jimin chuckles, rummaging through a supply closet and taking out antibacterial wipes. He hands you a one.

"Start wiping!" he exclaims.

You squint at your teacher, taking your wipe and trudging to the back of the classroom. Daintily, you spread out the wet, white thing, placing your pointer finger on it and dragging it across the sticky desk.

"Y/N!" Jimin calls. You look up to see your teacher, his tie discarded and a few buttons of his blue shirt undone. His sleeves are rolled up and you catch a glimpse of his muscular arms.

He looks... sexy. God, Y/N, can you not??

"You're not supposed to wipe the desk like you're some fairy!" Jimin laughs as he starts to walk over to you. "Put some back into it!" Suddenly, before you know it, he's standing behind you, stomach dangerously close to your back as he uses his wipe, pressing it into the desk hard to clean.

You slap your teacher's hand. "I was doing that," you protest. You attempt to clean the desk again, but Jimin has the audacity to laugh at your poor endeavor.

"No, you're still doing it wrong," he chuckles. "Here."

His hand falls on top of yours as he slowly and firmly puts pressure, puppeteering your cleaning. You flush at the contact, feeling the strong muscles beneath his shirt pressing into your back. You think you feel a bit faint.

Why? He's just a friend... Just a teacher!

"Get it?" Jimin says, a bit too closely into your ear.

You flinch at the proximity and you turn around to face your teacher, leaning on the desk. "Can I just not clean? You can forget the ice cream you owe me."

Jimin chuckles, shaking his head. "How about this, I'll buy you fried chicken and ice cream if you can beat me."

"Beat you? With the wipe? Gladly," you say, rolling your eyes.

Jimin mimics your eye-roll. "No, Y/N. Like a competition. Whoever cleans more desks wins. If I win, you buy fried chicken and ice cream; if you win, I'll buy."

You raise your eyebrows. "Fine," you say, getting up and confidently pushing Jimin back with a single hand. "It's on."

He laughs at you. "I've been doing this for years."

"If food's on the line, I never lose," you say, haughtily.

"Thought you said you never lose," Jimin laughs as you lay back on a desk, pouting from your loss.

"Just one more desk," you grumble. "Just one more!" You sigh, rolling off the desk and standing limply. You whine, "Jiminie." Maybe some puppy-dog eyes could save you from your crying wallet?

"That's not gonna work," he laughs. "You're buying."

"Wow what an asshole," you say.

"Hey, watch your language, we're still in a classroom," Jimin laughs.

You sigh. "Fine, Mr. Park," you say, wiggling your eyebrows.

Your teacher sighs, but you see the glint of amusement in his eyes. "What will I ever do with you, Y/N?"

"I thought I was buying?" you say as you clutch onto an ice cream cone while balancing a box of fresh, hot fried chicken on your lap.

Jimin looks over to you, grinning as he grips two hands on the steering wheel of his car. "The competition was a joke. Besides, I should be thankful you helped me clean."

He lifts one hand from the steering wheel and steals your ice cream cone, taking a huge bite of the mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"Ew! I was eating that!" you shriek, but you flush at the same time. Sharing an ice cream cone with your teacher? Oh boy. You feel strange butterflies in your stomach.

"What? Are you a germaphobe?" Jimin teases, giving you back what was left of your ice cream. He licks his slightly pink lips and laughs.

You sigh, holding the cone helplessly. "What's next, sharing a toothbrush?"

"Sharing a bed?" Jimin jokes, earning a smack from you.

"Don't think I've forgotten those blackmail-worthy pictures," you say. You lick your ice cream. "Or that time you were drunk..."

You flush, bringing up that memory. But both of you had established that day hadn't actually meant something. The incident was now used as a joke between the two of you—act like it, Y/N.

"Okay, okay, whatever," your teacher chuckles as he noticeably grips the steering wheel tighter. "You do know if you spread the word of those two incidents, you'll be in the hot seat too."

You roll your eyes. "Oh yeah? I can just tell everyone that you initiated it and I wouldn't even be lying."

Jimin laughs, to your dismay. "You wouldn't dare, you goody-two-shoes."

"Try me."

Jimin chuckles, poking your cheek. "Whatever, hand me your ice cream, will you?"

You grumble as you reluctantly hand Jimin your ice cream cone.

But really, your face was burning red, especially that spot Jimin had just poked. You felt fluttery and flushed whenever you were around your teacher. What the fuck were you feeling?

God, do I like him?

You look at Jimin who was happily licking your ice cream. He reminds you of a goddamn puppy: adorable, sweet and kind.

Oh, yeah. I'm definitely whipped for Park Jimin.

But you can't help but think: does he like me too?

With Jin gone, Jimin's house was basically your second home. As soon as you step into your teacher's cordial house, you make a beeline to his comfy couch, collapsing down on it.

You hear the jingle of car keys as Jimin sets them down on the kitchen counter. He walks in front of you, throwing off his tie somewhere and fumbling to unbutton a few buttons of his tight, collared shirt.

Immediately, you look away flushing. Goddamn, can he like, not do that so casually in front of me? Your heart beats avidly in your chest and in your head.

"Want ramen?" your teacher asks.

Pretending like you didn't just have weird thoughts of Jimin, you sit up and nod innocently. "And this time, we're educated so we won't set off the fire alarms."

Jimin laughs heartily as he makes his way over to the kitchen, you sauntering close behind him. Rummaging through his kitchen cabinets, your friend comes up with two packs of ramen and hands you a large, red pot.

"They're not a decade old, are they?" you question, looking suspiciously at the ramen.

Jimin laughs. "Don't worry, I went out and bought some. They're fresh."

Scrunching your nose at his description of ramen, you shake your head as you fill the pot with water, making sure it reached less than half of the pot's height. "I can't believe last time we thought there wasn't enough water," you giggle as you daintily place the pot on the expensive-looking stove.

"Pretty idiotic of us," Jimin chuckles as he turns on the stove. After waiting until the water boils, you make Jimin put the ramen in because you're afraid the scalding hot water would splash on you.

Everything goes smoothly; you set a timer on your phone for five minutes, Jimin adds the sauce and you both wait.

"What a glow-up. We literally tried to cook this shit for thirty minutes last time," Jimin sighs, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Honestly, we're pretty dumb," you reply, giggling.

"We're not dumb. We're just math geeks who can't cook," Jimin chuckles, nudging you.

You nudge him back. "I guess that can work too. Can you stir the ramen? I'm scared it'll explode in my face."

Your teacher laughs, rolling his eyes. "You're such a scaredy-cat."

"I know." You shrug the small insult off, giddily watching the pot full of bubbling orange soup. "I swear if this ramen doesn't turn out as it should, I'm going to throw a big, fat tantrum," you declare as Jimin diligently stirs your meal.

"No, it'll definitely work," Jimin says confidently, placing a hand on his hip with such sass.

And he was right.

"God, this is the life," you say, stretching out on Jimin's couch while pigging out on the most delicious ramen you'd ever had in your whole entire life.

Your teacher nods, slurping his very last noodle as you set your bowl down. Jimin wordlessly stands up, taking your bowl and his to the kitchen and you hear him quickly washing them.

When he comes back, he collapses right next to you on the couch. "So, what should we do now?" he asks.

"Um, I dunno," you say, shrugging, "maybe talk?" you ask lamely.

And talk you did.

Settling down from laughing his ass off for a good ten minutes (at your stupid joke), Jimin finally looks at you calmly. All signs of his hysterical laughter were gone from his face. Instead, he looks serious now. Dead serious.

Goddamn, the mood swing.

"So.. uh, Y/N..." Jimin starts, making you turn your head to look at him. "I never really asked this, but what was it like?"

Your nose wrinkles in confusion. "What was what like? My grades? My personality? My face?? Well, puberty did me well," you joke, flipping your hair.

"Depression."

"Oh." Your face falls.

"I mean, you don't have to answer at all... I just—I'm sorry I'm nosy. I shouldn't have asked, I shouldn't have—"

"It was shit," you reply quickly. "You know the feeling of getting up on the wrong side of the bed? Depression is like you're so fucking miserable that you can't even get out of bed."

"Oh."

"Yeah. That's the synopsis, I guess. But whatever. I'm over it," you say, swatting the topic away.

You internally sigh. We were talking about the existence of goddamn mermaids a second ago, why is he bringing up depression for fuck's sake?

"Sometimes I feel like I can't get out of bed," Jimin mumbles, popping your bubble of thoughts.

Okay, what now?

"What?" you say, jerking your body towards your teacher in shock. It couldn't be...

"No, no, don't worry Y/N, I'm not depressed or anything. I just feel like shit sometimes," your teacher sighs, running his hands through his hair.

"Does Jin know?" you ask out of habit.

"Well, not the details," Jimin says, looking down at his feet. " I just kinda figured I should entrust you with the details since you're my friend, I trust you... I mean, Jin's my trusty friend but it's just that you've survived depression, you know? You might understand better. Now I'm not saying you should give me the advice to get through shit, but that's exactly what I'm saying."

You take in his panicked words while nodding slowly. "Yeah, yeah, of course, Jimin. I'll try to give you advice. So what's bothering you?"

Your friend relaxes into the couch, his back enveloped in the pillowy folds. "School," he answers.

"School? School?!" Your eyes widen in shock. "I thought you love your job!"

"I mean, I do, but there's just stress... Maybe I'm being a baby but—"

"Stress?" you repeat. "Jimin, I wouldn't ever have known... You hide it too well."

Your friend meets your eyes for a split second to give you a meager smile. "I figured my stress shouldn't affect others."

Heart fluttering at his comment, you try hard to keep your cool. Why is he so thoughtful, goddammit!

"Is someone being mean to you? Is it just too much work? What about school is so stressful?" you press, lightly leaning towards your teacher as you expect an answer.

"I dunno... Maybe I worry too much," Jimin sighs. "It sounds so stupid to put it this way but..." he trails off. "Please don't judge me."

You raise your eyebrows in shock. "I would never judge anyone for their problems," you say. "I learned from my experience, Jimin, you're in good hands."

Your friend nods as he opens his mouth to speak once more. "I... I feel like I'm getting bullied," he barely whispers.

"What?" You couldn't hear him.

"I feel like I'm getting bullied," Jimin says a bit louder.

"What?!" you shout.

"I feel like I'm—"

"No! I heard you the second time! You've got to be kidding? Who on earth would bully you? Hold up, be right back, I'm going to break some spines—" You try to stand up, but Jimin softly grabs your wrist, tugging you back down into the couch.

"No, Y/N, it's not something severe, I swear... Just a few emails, that's it."

"Emails? Emails?! From who?"

You can't seem to say anything supportive at the moment. Angry emotions rush over as you think: who the fucking hell in their right fucking goddamn mind would have the fucking deadass nerve to bully such a kind, intelligent person?

"Parents," Jimin sighs.

"Why the fu—"

"It's because of my tests," your friend sighs. You're about to interrupt, but Jimin's eyes literally plead at you to let him continue. So you let him.

"I know my tests are challenging, I make them myself," Jimin starts. "It's never ever my intention to make my students fail—it's to help them improve. I mean, I have extremely talented students like you who would die of boredom in my class if the tests were too easy; but I have others that would die of boredom because they just hate math. I wanted to make sure everyone was learning, so I tried to make my tests more difficult...

"Of course there were people who caught on quick, like you, but there were people who just didn't get it," Jimin sighs, giving you a small smile. "I remember when you got a C on my first test," he recalls. "But that must've given you a huge shock because ever since then, you've never gone below an A. You give me hope in my students, you and the others in the math club. Granted, some of them are born geniuses but..." he trails off.

"I expected most of my students to get the hang of my tests. You know, at least score a B... But just so many are flat-out failing and I'm starting to wonder if I'm the problem," your teacher sighs. "And these emails are making it worse."

Jimin fishes out his phone, scrolling through some photos. "Screenshots," he says as he hands his device over to you.

You take your friend's phone, swiping through the screenshotted emails as your jaw drops lower and lower after reading each one.

My son lost his confidence because of you.

My daughter dreads going to school because of you.

My kids don't learn anything in your class.

You can't teach.

Your class is a waste of time.

Where are your credentials? Are you even allowed to teach?

You freeze, Jimin's phone still in your hands as you look at the screenshots in shock. What the hell? Finally looking up, you see your friend's face buried in his hands, his back humped over in a miserable way.

"Hey, hey," you whisper, patting Jimin's back reassuringly. "These emails are absolute crap. Don't take them seriously. I know you're doing your best."

"But I'm not!" Jimin says through his hands. "Obviously if that many people are unhappy with my teaching, I'm doing something wrong..."

"People are just fucking whiny," you say. "You teach fine! I'm the proof, okay? God, you should report these people with what they're accusing of you!"

"But I can't report these things when what they're saying is partly true... Sometimes I think of remaking my tests. I should do it, right?"

"No!" you declare. "Are you kidding me? If your tests aren't hard, then what's the point of your class? You should give out a challenge for fuck's sake. If parents are complaining that their dumbass children aren't getting the concepts, then that's their fault for not trying!" you shout, fluttering your arms aggressively.

Jimin looks up, his wet eyes a hurtful shade of pink. Something inside you tears as he tries to give you a smile. "It feels so good to have someone to listen," he says. "What would I have done without you?"

You nod, beckoning your teacher in for a hug. "C'mere," you say, as you wrap your arms around Jimin, embracing his warm body as he rests his head on your shoulder. "I guess the advice of the day is, it's okay to show your stress to others sometimes."

You feel Jimin nod, his arms slipping around your waist. Your shirt becomes wet as Jimin cries into your shoulder, and you start patting his back you try to comfort him.

He must've been holding in so much all the time. You're glad he decided to let it all out because you know it'll make him feel better in the end.

Yet as Jimin's warmth presses up against you, you can't seem to ignore the obvious proximity of you and your teacher. Your cheeks are heating up as you struggle to suppress the flushed feeling of your heart fluttering in your rib cage. Your friend, your teacher needs you, it isn't the time to think of him as something more special.

—previous | next

—masterlist

[asmolqueen]

Baby, it's cold everywhere

@sanderssidescelebrations Pairing: Platonic everyone Prompt: Cuddling for Warmth Warnings: sympathetic Deceit and sympathetic Remus, Remus being himself Summary: When the Creativitwins decided it'd be a good idea, to lower the mindscape's temperature for the atmosphere's sake, no one thought of a certain cold-blooded side. Aka. the one in which Deceit is freezing but too proud to actually say it. Read on AO3

In the mindscape, it's rarely noticeably hot or cold, it's always about room temperature, since no one's bothered by that. Sure, the sides rooms all have different heat-levels, depending on everyone's own comfort, but the commons are usually the same.

At least that's how it had been, all year round leading up to Christmas. Christmas was different. As soon as Thomas began decorating for the holidays, so did the sides. And never before had that included Roman and Remus agreeing on anything, until this year. And that decision would be one, that a certain serpentine side wouldn't agree with. But he didn't really say anything against it either, since having the Creativitwins agree on something, is an occurrence no one wants or should disturb.

So now he had to freeze, constantly, since that was the thing, they agreed on.

“It'd be great for the mood! Just, snow out there!”, Roman had said, smiling like a child.

“Yeah, and let's lower the temperature as well!”

“My god, maybe you'll finally put your clothes back on?”

This had the Duke gasping dramatically. “You're honestly asking that? You're expecting an honest answer that includes a yes, aren't you? Before everything else, I am a trash rat, and rats don't usually wear clothes, do they?”

“You're impossible. So, snow?”

Their conversation went kind of like that, Deceit hadn't listened properly in between, but he did notice the lack of clothes on Remus' part, not like he wasn't already used to it anyway.

So now, for the movie night, he had to leave the warmth of his room. And he dreaded it. It wasn't like he didn't want to go though, just because he skipped a few movie nights before, most of them actually, he really did, but he did not want to freeze for a couple hours on end.

So he got out of his room, and oh boy did he regret it fast.

“Fuck thiss…”, he mumbled under his breath, hugging himself a bit.

Deceit tried to keep his composure, not wanting the others to know how cold he actually was, because he was acting ridiculously, and also because he didn't want to bother them.

He sat on the couch, between Patton and Roman, and tried not to constantly shiver.

Pull it together, he thought to himself, this is pathetic. And he really thought it was, so he really tried to stop shaking so much.

“So, what are we watching?”

“I'm thinking-”

“I swear, Princey, if you say Frozen I'll throw something at you.”

Virgil was glared at by said side, before his face turned into a pout. “Who said I was gonna say Frozen?”

“What were you gonna say, then?”

“Shut up.”

Remus perked up next. “How about-”

“We've talked about this, Remus, we're watching your kinda movies when Roman and Patton are needed by Thomas.”, Logan immediately stepped in, reminding him of the compromise they all had, watching any kind of thriller and horror movies, when they didn't do too much to affect Thomas. In the beginning, this had even excluded Virgil, as they had theorized that this would only cause to heighten Thomas' anxiety, but this had been proven to be wrong later.

“You're no fun, Teach.”

“Home alone? It's a classic!”, Patton suggested.

Virgil chuckled. “More like homolone, gay and single forever. But really, Pat? I've seen it at least a million times.”

“Honestly? Why don't you choose a movie, Hot Topic.”

“That's an old one, can't think of anything new?”, before the creative side could respond, he continued. “And yes, I have a movie I'd like to see, actually. What do you guys think of Rise of the Guardians? And don't argue about how it's not a Christmas movie because it totally is and also we don't have Christmas yet.”

No one had any complaints with that movie, so it was decided.

For the whole discussion, Deceit had hoped that his shivering wasn't too obvious, and he really concentrated on trying to hold back. It only became a problem, when both Patton and Roman decided to lean onto him. Sure, he would usually stiffen a little before trying to ease up again but instead, he tried to lean into the warmth they brought with them.

Both sides seemed to notice that, and also that he was still shivering, as Roman stole the blanket from behind and underneath Virgil, who wanted to complain, but was happy enough that they finally decided on his movie suggestion, so he let it slide.

When the blanket was over all three sides, Patton immediately began leaning even further into Deceit and Roman put his arms around the side, so he didn't even have a choice.

At least, that was what they all would say. Because to the two bubbly sides, it was very obvious, that Deceit was just too proud to say, that he was cold, and that he enjoyed being cuddled up to them, because if he didn't, he would've at least said something instead of mumbling something incoherent and his face tinting just the slightest tint of red.

And to say that the two didn't feel ecstatic about having another cuddle buddy, would be an understatement.

[under-the-blue-sun]

come through (‘cause I just want to be with you) - chapter two

story summary: Dan is half-angel half-demon whose parents sent him to earth to try and live a normal life when he turned 18. In doing this, he lost any power he had, if proven he could live among them normally. The only rule? He couldn’t fall in love with a mortal. Fast forward 5 years later, just before his 23rd birthday, when things go downhill once he meets a barista in a coffee shop who he befriends and falls for.

story word count: 2759

rating: teen & up audiences

warnings: profanity

song of the chapter:  black sun - death cab for cutie

note: i know this is late but in my defense i'm gay and i can't count. i hope you enjoy this chapter!! also on another note isn’t the new tumblr font just terrible

link to ao3 | link to first chapter on tumblr

Chapter Two: how could something so fair (be so cruel)

Beep. Beep. Beep.

 Dan groaned, slamming the button on his alarm to stop the blaring noise. His bleary eyes squinted at the clock.

 “11. That’s okay,” he muttered, hiding under his blankets to stop the persistent pain in his stomach, as if his body was reminding him he should be somewhere.

 He suddenly rose from the covers.

 “10. Lecture. Fuck.”

 He leapt up, clearing his blurry thoughts from his mind, and ran to the bathroom, shoving a bottle of Listerine down his throat. Choking with disgust, he grabbed the first clothes on the floor to throw on, and sprinted out the door, black Muse tote bag stumbling out of his careless hands. Barely catching his breath, he staggered into the lecture room one hour and forty-five minutes late, seemingly unnoticed. He slipped into the back seat, laying out his notebook, pencil case and laptop.

 “Rough morning, huh?” Chris whispered.

 “It was actually a very good morning, until I woke up and realised I was one hour late for the lecture,” Dan whispered back.

 Chris sniggered. “I’ll bet.”

 Chris was one of the very few humans who Dan could talk to without seeming like a fool, mostly because Chris was very rather odd himself. Most people in his philosophy class were aesthetic, intelligent and very pretentious, but Chris made sure he was never two of those things at once. He was the person who introduced him to most of the human things he likes now, and has unknowingly helped Dan slip into human society very well.

 Dan glanced at Chris’ notes. “Anything important?”

 “It’s a philosophy class. Nothing is important, Dan,” Chris said. “I’ll give you the notes after, asshole.”

 “Rude. Exam’s on Monday, right?” Dan said.

 “Yeah, and the hand-in essay’s due before 12pm Wednesday.”

 Dan sighed. “Well, fuck. I better listen.”

 Chris wriggled closer to Dan, assuming his tea-spilling posture. “Have you-”

 “Shut up!” Dan hissed. 

 Chris rolled his eyes, slouching back into the chair, and resumed his note-taking for the last fifteen minutes of class before they were dismissed. 

 “Oh, hurry up. I have something to show you,” Chris said.

 “I haven’t had my morning coffee yet, please cut me some slack.” Dan yawned, slowly placing his items in his tote bag.

 “That’s what I was going to show you,” Chris replied. “Hurry up!”

 Dan finally finished putting his stationery away, and shoved his pencil in his pocket approximately five minutes later, after around one hundred carefully-crafted insults from Chris. “I’m done, what do you want to show me?”

 “I have found the best coffee shop in the entirety of London,” Chris announced, heading out of the lecture room. Dan raised his eyebrows.

 “I highly doubt that,” Dan said.

 “Okay, maybe it’s not the best. But the baristas?” Chris blew a kiss into the air.

 Dan shook his head, disappointed. “Chris, what did I say about objectifying people?”

 “Please, come. It’s called ‘Never Gonna Give Brew Up’,” Chris said, looking at Dan expectantly. Dan stared back, expressionless.

 “You know, like Never Gonna Give You Up?” Chris hinted.

 “Yes, I understand the joke. You keep sending me links to the music video.”

 Chris laughed. “Wait, you actually click on them?”

 Dan scoffed. “Of course not. I memorized the several URLs you’ve sent so I recognise it straight away. I also tend to distrust every link you send.”

 “As you should. Anyway, I am begging you to come. There’s one especially cute boy who I know works today, and I also know he’s very single. His name is Jack, and he is absolutely adorable.”

 Dan continued walking, making no response. 

 “Dan. You’re single, sad, very gay and very lonely. Just ask him out, go on a date, see how it is,” Chris begged.

 Dan snorted. “Like your love life is perfect.”

 “Hey, I may not have a long-term partner, but at least I’m going on dates and meeting up with people. In all the four years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you go on a single date unprompted.”

 Dan shrugged. “Haven’t found the right guy.”

 “Come on. Just come to the coffee shop, at least,” Chris pleaded.

 “Fine,” Dan said, deciding to humour Chris. “I’ll meet the barista.”

 ---

 Jack the barista was, in fact, very hot, just like Chris stated. They were definitely not the first people to notice that. There was a whole clump of people in the cafe hovering around him, eager for him to give them a chance, or a glance. It was ridiculous.

 “This is ridiculous,” Dan muttered, turning to leave. “I’m going to get out of here.”

 Chris grabbed his arm. “I’m not letting you leave, Howell.”

 Dan groaned as Chris pushed him back in the line and started ordering the food.

 “I didn’t come here to ogle at the resident hoe,” Dan whispered violently in his ear. “I am leaving.”

 “What did you just call me?”

 Dan froze, and looked to the unfamiliar voice that came from in front of him. 

 “Resident hoe. Don’t take it personally. I’m sure you’re a lovely person, I’m just lashing out and name-calling because my friend here is trying to set me up with you. I apologise.”

 Jack smirked in amusement. “At least let the resident hoe get you some coffee. You look like you haven’t slept in years.”

 “Probably because I haven’t,” Dan admitted. “And not in a sexy way.”

 Jack snorted, and handed Dan a drink. “I think this coffee has the most caffeine which you can possibly stuff in a drink.” 

 “Sorry for calling you the resident hoe,” Dan said, turning to go.

“Well, if you want to make a full apology, I’ll be here tonight as well,” Jack said. “Opening hours till midnight.”

 Dan grinned. “I’ll think about it.”

 ---

 “I cannot believe you won him over by calling him a resident hoe,” Chris said, as they were leaving the cafe.

 “What were you picturing?” Dan asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

 Chris shrugged. “I don’t know. Not that. But hey, it worked! And you have another chance to actually talk to him tonight. You are going back there tonight, right?”

 Dan clicked his tongue. “I’m thinking about it.”

 “You better go,” Chris warned. “He literally invited you back to the cafe. You’re not gonna get that chance again.”

 Dan glanced at his watch. “Well, I have approximately twelve whole hours to think about whether I should go back to the cafe to call Jack names, so that’s plenty of time to think. That’s philosophy, right? Thinking about stuff.”

 Chris sighed. “Yeah. You should probably head to the library to revise right now.”

 ---

 Dan looked up helplessly at his blank word document. He had been in the library for three whole hours, yet he had written absolutely nothing. He stared at the blinding white of his screen, mind completely empty. Frankly, he was incredibly amazed at his brain for managing to not have a single thought yet also have too many thoughts. Slowly and helplessly, he began to type random things that came to his brain.

 Are immortal people allowed to fall in love with human beings?

 Dan paused, then pressed the enter button.

 No.

 why?

 because theyll probably find out?? that you’re a demon angel fuckin thing whatever also theyll die before u and thats like sad idk yeah

 Dan sighed. A+ essay right there. 

 The thing is, he kind of really wanted to go on that date with Jack. He seemed like a nice guy. It would be kind of fun. Besides, it would really shut Chris up and he wouldn’t pester him for a few months. 

 It wasn’t like he was going to marry Jack, after all. Like, he was pretty much the resident hoe. 

 Dan sighed deeply. 

 But if an immortal person went to a cafe with the possibility of going out with someone who was not going to be a potential future partner, would that be wrong?

 After a long pause, Dan began to type again.

 No.

 And with that, he gave up on his essay, packed up his bags and left the library.

 ---

 Surprisingly, Never Gonna Give Brew Up was still open, and very brightly lit. Dan didn’t really know why he was surprised. He was told that it closed at midnight, after all. But still, he didn’t normally associate open cafes with dark evenings. He swung the door open and stepped inside with a wide grin.

 “Hey J-” Dan paused. “You’re not Jack.”

 The barista at the counter looked up from his screen with a smirk. “Astute observation.”

 Dan stepped carefully in the cafe, closing the door behind him to make sure it didn’t slam. The barista was watching him carefully, smirk still planted on his irritatingly handsome face. Dan was seriously beginning to think the only qualification for applying to this cafe was to be good-looking.

 “Well. This is awkward,” Dan said.

 The barista shrugged. “For you, maybe. For me, this is rather entertaining. Tell me, what service were you wanting from Jack? I’m guessing it’s not coffee.”

 Dan snorted. “Well, it’s a long story.”

 “Is it?” the barista said, raising an eyebrow.

 Dan thought over it. “Not really. I called him the resident hoe and I came here to apologise slash ask him out. That’s pretty much it.”

 “I’m sorry for cockblocking you. I’ll give you free coffee to make up for it,” the barista offered.

 “Thanks, I could use that actually. I have an exam I haven’t studied for and a hand-in essay I haven’t begun coming up in the next few days, so I’m guessing I’m not going to be getting a lot of sleep for a while.” Dan said.

 “You already look like you haven’t gotten a lot of sleep in a while,” the barista pointed out.

 Dan chuckled joylessly. “Thanks, everyone says that to me when I meet them.”

 “I mean, I also haven’t been getting a lot of sleep. And no offense to your Jack, but it’s kind of because of him.” 

 “Oh yeah? Give me the tea,” Dan said. Then he frowned. “Or the coffee. I don’t know whether you do make tea here.”

 “I’ll give you the tea and the coffee,” the barista joked, grabbing a cup to start making Dan’s drink. “It’s not really that interesting tea, though. I just have to keep on doing Jack’s shifts because he always says he’s busy last minute. He’s such an asshole. Probably did you a favour with the cockblock, mate.”

 “Damn. Thanks for that, I guess,” Dan said, and the barista laughed, giving Dan an odd warm fuzzy feeling inside. Before he could fully process what that was, the barista handed him the drink.

 “Here,” he said, and Dan took a sip, pleasantly surprised.

 “I have to say, this is a lot better than the one Jack gave me,” Dan commented.

 “Of course it is. Jack’s shit at making coffee,” the barista said.

 Dan laughed. “Yeah, it was kind of nasty.”

 “You should probably get to that essay soon, though,” the barista said, and Dan suddenly realised he may have overstayed his welcome. He cleared his throat.

 “Yeah, probably should. Thanks for the free coffee,” Dan said.

 The barista smiled. “Yeah, it was no problem.”

 “I didn’t catch your name, by the way.” 

 “Phil. And you are?”

 “Dan.”

 “Dan,” Phil said, like he was trying the name out for the first time. “Nice to meet you, Dan.”

 “Nice to meet you too, Phil,” Dan said, and left happier than he’d felt in weeks.

[cherrincity]

Cherrin City Soundbytes Casting Call

Hi all! I’m making a new podcast and I’d love to get some voice actors in it! Tag a friend you think would be interested!

Cherrin City Soundbytes is an anthology series about the lives of people living in the world's most prominent city of superheroes. Ranging from annoyingly mundane to cosmically fantastic, these stories try to capture the reality of this world's average. What get to be mundane when a bug alien from outer space saves your life? What is moral when a laid off employee tries to drown only the financial district? Most people are just trying to get by, and this is what we get to hear. As the name implies, these episodes will mostly be short. The show focuses on the humanity of people, despite their fantastical environment. The episodes will tend to be kind of... somber, but not devoid of hope.

Cherrin City Soundbytes is a Piece of Cake Podcasting Network Production! As such, we highly encourage Black, Indigenous and Mixed voice actors, as well as other actors of colour to audition, though others may do so as long as they respect the listed identities of the characters. Again to reiterate: please audition for parts that reflect your identity. For example, if you are not South Asian, do not audition for the specifically South Asian roles. If you are not nonbinary, please do not audition for the specifically nonbinary roles. Alternatively, if a role has its gender listed as open, that means any person of any gender may audition for that role. There are 17 different roles, so please stick to the ones that fit you or can accommodate you! In addition to this, please be 18 years of age or older to audition.

For each audition, you may do up to three takes of each line. Please compile them all into a single .mp3 or .wav file. If you are accepted for this podcast, we will be doing remote recordings with mandatory synchronous table reads. Please audition with the recording space you will use if hired. These roles will be paid $40 CAD over paypal.

Content warnings for this year of production include: violence, foul language, body horror, death, kidnapping, manipulation, body dysphoria and large insects. Not all warnings apply for every role; please feel free to send an email to cherrincity@gmail.com for more information or for any other questions you may have. Auditions will be open until October 31st, 2020.

Please note that all auditions must be sent through the google form link below. Any auditions sent to the email will be invalid.  Feel free to audition for as many roles as you are able to fulfill, but please submit a new form and audio file for each role you

In summary:

17 roles open for auditions

Only audition for roles that fit your identity or can accommodate you

Be 18 years of age or older

Send us up to 3 takes per each line, all in one file

This podcast will be remotely recorded

These roles will be paid $40 CAD over paypal

Auditions open until October 31st, 2020

Please only send auditions through this link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc2kVXIFTY9IOiNvRSQWvIrB8LiIrI46xFOeFtuq2sb6xBlVA/viewform?vc=0&c=0&w=1&flr=0&gxids=7628

Roles

The Cherrin University Radio Host

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: South Asian

Age: Late teens, early twenties

Description: The Cherrin university radio host is an anonymous young woman who feels passionately for under discussed causes. Whether or not she does anything for them outside of ranting on a late night radio show is a bit of a sore spot, but no matter the issue she takes it seriously.

Lines:

It is 2:55 am, which means that it is technically the Cherrin City day of Super Powered Individuals Remembrance. Created by the city about 4 years ago, on paper the day exists to remember every super powered individual who has died. In action, the city uses it to lionize the dead members of their private task force and coerce more people into joining it.

The problem with being perceivable is that people look at you. And when people look at you, and they keep looking at you, you start to get recognized. (long pause) That has not always been a pleasant thing, in my experience.

Solla

Gender: Written as an alien who identifies as Female, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: several thousand years old, but doesn't really show it

Description: Solla is a dedicated member to the Cherrin City Starlight Watchers Squad, and is accustomed to working with her team both in bringing down extra terrestrial villains and tackling the enthusiastic and seemingly-ceaseless questions of the Cherrin City press. Polite, patient to a fault and kind of the mom of her group.

Lines:

Yes, I am Solla of the Cherrin City Starlight Watchers Squad. Yes I am an alien, and yes I know English, among several other languages. I appreciate all nice comments, but if you'd like to say something more in depth, you can email the city.

I am so sorry, but I have to go.

Henry Austin Bolte

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Mid twenties

Description: A gay, recently graduated costume designer trying to make it in Cherrin in the early 2000s. Also recently dumped, and kinda lonely. Very good at what he does, but uncomfortable with discussions of money.

Lines:

(sighs) Look, Vee, I don't care if this is some sex thing or whatever, I just need to know how you intend to use the suit so I can make it appropriately. You don't want some combo of kevlar and body armour if you're trying to fuck someone, right?

You did it. You're the one who did it. Oh my god.

V

Gender: Nonbinary (using he/they pronouns)

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Mid twenties

Description: An ambitious young person, also recently graduated. He's got big plans for his future and is not above manipulating other people to get what he wants. Hates being called desperate. Out of all the morally gray characters in this casting call, this person is the most 'super villain' out of all of them.

Lines:

I am not desperate. I am not a lucky, hapless fool. I am deliberate and calculating, and clever!

If you do anything to lose that respect... well. I know where to express my concerns.

Devon Milligan

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: Mid teens to early twenties

Description: Devon is a loyal young man part of the Cherrin City East End Exemplars. He has difficulty reacting decisively to surprises and can be slightly stubborn. But he appreciates honesty.

Lines:

How does getting up at 5am help out your scheme?

So you're all about making life better for yourself and no one else?

I-SPI

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: late teens to mid twenties. Older than Devon

Description: Less a supervillain and more a regular criminal or henchwoman who happens to have very passive super powers. Skilled and clever, she only feels like opening up when she is most desperate. Extremely cynical.

Lines:

C'mon. You're a superhero, aren't you? Shouldn't you stay in top physical form in case another supervillain wants to fall into your lap?

If that's what it has to be; if that's the only choice I'm offered, then I sure as hell'll take it. Who else is gonna care for me? You?

Bernard North

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Early thirties

Description: Has had a small taste of power and now refuses to give it up. Has stopped caring about the feelings of others. Please note that this character has only one line.

Line:

Feel free to exhaust yourself, I-SPI. You've already proven yourself incorrigible. But it doesn't matter, now that I have you in my possession. You and I are going to go very far together.

Hannah Nathan

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Late thirties

Description: The host of Musicity, a tv show about local musicians in Cherrin City, Hannah has worked very hard to be in this position. While she carries herself as having seen it all, she still cares about the comfort and state of her guests.

Lines:

Hello everyone! Welcome to another episode of Musiciscity! I'm your host, Hannah Nathan, and today, we here in the studio are joined by Cherrin City's very own, Alta Reyes!

Oh my god, Alta! Alta, are you alright? Can we get a doctor on set?

Alta Reyes

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Latina

Age: Early twenties

Description: The lead singer of Raise The Population, she currently finds herself in the wrong body, and in the wrong world. Despite these strange circumstances, she's doing her best to get her group back home.

Lines:

Me and my band mates, we were just working at getting known and getting better at making music. We crawled our way up from being nobodies begging for views on our music video to finally, actually getting a hit song!

The further I get away from the life I knew, the harder I cling to the things I do know, even as they keep changing. This place honestly feels the closest to home so far.

Brandi

Gender: Trans woman

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Open

Description: The host of Public! This! Closure!, a new radio show about people hashing out their interpersonal problems on the airwaves. She is always very composed and attempts to be impartial. (She also really wants this show to be a success and is always on the lookout for more people to have on it.)

Lines:

Wait, you kissed her?

And it looks like that's all the show we have time for today, folks! Join us again next time, here on Cherrin City's very own c98.7 for more Public! This! Closure!

Virginia 'Gina' Jones

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Mid twenties, early thirties

Description: She went on a lovely date with Josephine, and decided to go on, Public! This! Closure! the new radio show about people hashing out their interpersonal problems on the airwaves. She hopes this show will be able to reconnect her with Josephine and that she can find out why Josephine ghosted her after their date.

Lines:

...So you could remember the show you were watching, but not the woman you went out with?

Well, I hope you do. I mean, I don't know much about you, but even despite that, I... I want to see you again.

Josephine Georges

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Black

Age: Mid twenties, early thirties

Description: Went on a nice date with Gina, but almost immediately afterward, had her whole world upended. Is currently distracted with other pressing matters, but is absolutely willing to continue dating Gina.

Lines:

I've listened to the show before. (sighs) So, who else has beef with me?

And I didn't think I would be meeting a lot of potential Sparker dates on an alien planet!

TE

Gender: Nonbinary (any pronouns, but initially presents as male)

Ethnicity: Open

Age: 15

Description: An orphaned young person looking for his place in the world. Goes on a very emotional journey, but has extremely villanous tendencies. Is very good at using his super power. Kinda lonely.

Lines:

You steal. That's what you do, isn't it? I mean, the only way anyone gets easy money is by stealing it.

I said, are you fucking kidding me? We literally live in a world where people get to call themselves whatever the hell they want, stupid shit like Resolute and Nightlight and SuperStar and you draw the line at The End?

Isabella

Gender: Written as a cis woman, but trans and nonbinary people who are comfortable with she/her pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: 19

Description: An orphan who lived in the same group home as TE but aged out of it. Had a good relationship with TE, sees him as a younger sibling. Is struggling to find satisfaction with her own life, in terms of her (illegal) career, her (nonexistent) love life, and her (nonexistent) social life. Also has a superpower, but it's rather weak.

Lines:

Well, it can get a little more hostile than that, but never more complicated. And you seem pretty capable with your power. We could use someone as capable as you.

Look, I've been tolerating a lot of your... you-ness because I got it, sort of. We lived together, we had the same traumatic experiences... and I care about you, I really do.

Guiltmaster

Gender: Written as a cis man, but trans and nonbinary people comfortable with he/him pronouns may audition

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Late twenties

Description: He's a villain with the power to make people feel extreme amounts of guilt and perhaps other things as well. An intelligent man who has lost interest in trying to make it in life through legal methods, but someone who never lost his deep sense of empathy for others.

Lines:

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to help him at all. So we waited, hoping for someone to find us. But, by the time they finally found us, there was no more us.

What you feel is what you feel. It's real and worthy and you cannot make it stop by assuming that because worse things have happened, what happened to you is not valid.

Pat

Gender: Open

Ethnicity: East Asian

Age: Open

Description: Someone who is going to therapy and trying to get over their guilt. Uncomfortable opening up to others, but is also unwilling to deny strangers' questions.

Lines:

Yeah? Did you ever kill your entire family?

All of them died, because I thought they didn't care about what I cared about.

The Interviewer

Gender: Open

Ethnicity: Open

Age: Open

Description: Despite the fact that filming is all but banned in Cherrin City, this interviewer is an out-of-towner attempting to make a documentary about super powered individuals. They're hoping that a certain real estate agent will be able to provide juicy and shocking details about her super powered clientele.

Lines:

Sounds horrific.

Oh my god, Larry you would not believe the waste of time I just had.

[endobiologist]

What Being Trans Is Like; A Guide For Allies

Hello, let me introduce myself. My name is Atom Yorke. I am a 16-year-old transgender and pansexual man, and you should probably get some popcorn ready because I've got a lot to say.

I'll split this up into categories so you can go page by page.

DEFINITION Now to begin this, if you're not sure what transgender means, transgender people are people whose brain does not match their body in gender. For example, I am a man. However I was born in a body most would call "female". I am a transgender man. This may be a radically new concept for some of you, but the truth is that we've been around since the dawn of humanity. Our history has been heavily modified and erased. In fact, any history that's not white, christian, heterosexual & cisgender has been shoved down to the darkest confines of information, where people have to look to find it. The truth is even ancient cultures have records of trans people, of nonbinary people, and of other LGBTQ concepts. This was one of the things they most heavily tried to erase during the ruthless colonization of Christianity.

You may be surprised to learn that yes, you yourself have met a trans person! Chances are you've met a lot of them, actually.

The reason why we're never seen is because until a little ways back, we would be imprisoned, killed or worse just for being out.   Now that we finally have a voice, we're speaking loud. But still, some trans people do not wish to be that way, and they will stay quiet their whole lives and blend in with the rest of society. Because of many people living in hiding, surveys are skewed and we have no real way to quantify just how many transgender people there are in the world. But there are a lot. And we matter, just like you.

MISCONCEPTIONS First off, there are a LOT, and I mean A LOT of misconceptions about transgender people. And it's not an accident. The lack of information and the stereotypes that have been given have been due to not only ignorance, but intentional covering up of the truth of who we are, and blatant propaganda against us. Many people think trans people are "out to get them" like they're some kind of "cross-dressing predators looking to peep in on the other gender". I can assure you, we are nothing of the sort. This falsehood would be laughable, if it didn't hurt so many people. Nearly 60% of trans people in America are outright TERRIFIED to go to the bathroom, (or go anywhere, really) due to them being harassed, assaulted, and worse inside. We are the ones being attacked in bathrooms, not you. We are the ones being attacked out in the streets, not you. We are not predators, we are quite literally the prey for the real predators. And this has to change. And the way it changes is through spread of information, and actual facts.

A trans woman is a woman. She is not a "man in a dress". A trans man is a man. He is not a "woman in disguise". A trans person is a person. They are not "confused".

There have been multiple scientific studies done on transgender people's brains, and they have revealed, every time, that your brain will match your gender, even if your genitalia does not. The reason for this is due to how you develop in the womb. In utero, the brains form one way, and the genitalia develops another way. Most of the time they match, creating what is known as a cisgender person, aka a person who is not trans.   Occasionally, the brain will develop in one gender and the sexual organs will develop in a different way due to an influx of different hormones during pregnancy, causing a trans person to be born.

To restate that; A trans person's brain matches their gender, not their genitalia. It has been scientifically proven. To argue that trans people "do not exist", are "confused", are "pretending" or anything else of the sort is foolish, and a rejection of science and reason altogether.

TERMINOLOGY Also, before you say "Well, if they existed forever, where are all these new terms coming from and why are we only now seeing trans people?" The reason being is you have seen trans people. You haven't seen these words because they are helpful labels we have only created recently for concepts that are ancient. The reason for all this new influx in trans activity is due to the internet and the spread of its information, which causes so many people to feel much safer and begin to come out. Now, let's take a look at the vocabulary of trans people, so you have an easier time understanding the lingo!

LGBTQ - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer. Refers to the community. FTM - Female to Male. A trans man. MTF - Male to Female. A trans woman. T - Testosterone E - Estrogen HRT - Hormone Replacement Therapy. The medical procedure of hormone replacement to look more like your actual gender. Binder - A form of undergarment that is like a very tight sports bra that binds the chest of trans men & sometimes nonbinary people so they can appear flat-chested. Packer - A fake penis (or sometimes a rolled up sock, etc.) used to make trans men look like they have a bulge. Tucking - A technique trans women use to make them look like they have no bulge. Top surgery - Surgery on your chest to correct it to your gender. Bottom surgery - Surgery on your genitalia to correct them to your gender. Coming out of the closet - Telling the world and everyone openly that you are LGBTQ, or in this case transgender. Stealth - A term referring to trans people who go completely "undercover", and keep the fact that they're trans hidden so they can just enjoy a normal life. Gender dysphoria - A feeling of heartwrenching, guttwisting wrongness in a trans person's soul when someone calls them by the gender they are not, or sometimes when reminded of their body. Gender euphoria - A feeling of either complete contentedness, or giddy joyful excitement when their gender is affirmed.

HOW IT FEELS; A WATERED DOWN VERSION Now that we got all that out of the way, I wrote a short summary of what it feels like to be trans, from my perspective.

Imagine you're in the womb. It's a clean slate, nothing but peace. Then from the moment you're born, you're immediately categorized by your sexual organs and colour-coded. "It's a girl!" They say. They wrap you in a pink blanket. Your whole life you're told to be a girl, and so that's what you are. It was the first thing someone decided that you are. But the whole time you live in this fake life you feel... empty. Every time you use the girl's bathroom, there's a gnawing part of you that says you shouldn't be there. When kids around you are playing on a bouncy slide, playing a game of boys vs. girls, you always feel like you belong on the other side, for some nagging reason. Your grandmother keeps buying you skirts, bras, dresses, because you ask for them. You think that's what it takes for you to feel normal. You never wear them. "Maybe I'm not girly enough." So you try to be even more of what you are not. And every time, you feel this pit, this twisting gnawing void that aches and only aches more as you grow older. You don't know what it is. It gets worse every time someone says the word "She". "Girl." "Have a nice day, ladies." You tear through your room, looking for anything that doesn't look like the dresses your grandmother buys you. You cry and cry like you've never cried before, and you don't know why you're crying. What is it that's wrong with me? And after a while you decide you want your hair cut. Maybe that's what it is. Then you think, "Maybe it's because I eat a lot. Girls are supposed to be self-conscious of their weight, right?" So you blame your weight. Until you realize that's not the issue at all. Because one day you wake up. It hits you. And you put the pieces together. I'm not what they forced me to be all my life. There was a reason I was always uncomfortable. I'm not a girl... That was an option? That was even an option? I'm not forced to stay in this cell? There's actually NOT something wrong with me?

All I felt was profound relief at first, but soon enough the relief turned to paralyzing fear. This was the beginning, and also the end of my life, and I was only thirteen. But some people don't find out until they're adults, sometimes even until they're in their old age. It doesn't make anyone any less who they are. But man, does it uproot your whole life to fix things. If you realize at a young age it's easier because then you don't have as much paperwork to deal with, but you still no matter what have to deal with it, and people make it as hard as they possibly can for you, because of petty ignorance. I've had multiple cases of people straight-up refusing to give me my legal documents back (such as my insurance card which I need for my literally life-saving medication) because of ignorance or malicious transphobia. I had to actually argue with people to put my insurance card through, something that was common sense, that I had all the legal documentation for, that could be typed in at the push of a button, and costs nothing for them. But they had "never came across this situation before" so they argued with me for a good while about doing it until they finally gave in.

I've had cases of family members, family friends turning on me and calling me "tranny", a "confused girl", I've been told that there was "no masculinity in my eyes" when they looked at me. I was yelled at, screamed at in front of family and friends that I would never be a man. I've been insulted in front of people, I've been ridiculed and humiliated. But I will stand tall. You know why? Because it is A MILLION times better dealing with all this than dealing with not being who I truly am. I'm myself, and if anyone's got a problem with that, they can take it up with me.

The sad truth is, if you're trans, you unfortunately are going to experience horrible, horrible things like this. It's an inescapable reality. But that does not mean it's without hope. Every person can be educated, even if it may not seem so at first. Don't give up hope, because there is so much more beauty than you're seeing right now, and wouldn't you like to get to see it?

If you're an ally, you're here to make sure this feeling they have happens less. So, here is how to treat a trans person, written from the perspective of a trans person.

HOW TO HELP TRANSGENDER PEOPLE (from the perspective of a trans person)

1. Treat them with basic human respect. Aka refer to them how they want to be referred, you know, by their ACTUAL name and pronouns, not the ones you're clinging to desperately. You may think "What's the big deal?" about being misgendered, because as a cis person you've never been forced to live in a body that's not your own. You have ZERO frame of reference for how a trans person feels, or experiences their life, and so the very least you could do, even if you may not understand, is treat them with basic human decency. It literally costs you nothing to just be a civil human being.

2. Ask questions! (to a point. Don't be creepy or disrespectful.) If you are concerned you are not treating a trans person completely right due to not knowing, or you have something you're curious about, or you just don't understand us at all--ask! Please ask! We love it when you consider our needs, it makes us feel more appreciated. And asking questions opens important communication pathways, that lead to higher understanding, empathy, and acceptance of each other, which can only lead to higher growth for everyone involved. However, if you start getting really nosy about it by asking us weird questions when you barely know us like "Have you had the surgery yet? What do your genitalia look like?" Or the much dreaded "What's your original name?" Then you know you've gone too far. I mean, come on, you wouldn't ask a regular person that question, so why would you ask us?!

3. Speak up for them when they have no voice. This is probably by far the most huge thing you can do for a transgender person. A minor example; If they're in a very uncomfortable situation, like say for example they are getting misgendered by the cashier over and over at the grocery store and you can see they're too nervous to correct them, or even if they have corrected them themselves multiple times but the person will not give them that basic respect, the best thing you can do in that moment is step in and correct them for them.  I've had someone do it for me, and it makes me feel euphoric that someone actually stood up for me. Just back us up when we need back up, cause we very rarely have that support. A lot of trans people have no support whatsoever. Any support you can show a transgender person will help them exponentially more than you know. Some allies will post LGBTQ positive things on their social media pages, meanwhile some others take this to extremes by becoming huge supporters of LGBTQ communities, and standing up and giving a voice everywhere for them through words, art, many different forms of media, pride parades & riots.

4. Physical Support If you are very close to a trans person yourself, such as one of your children, your spouse, etc. or even if you just want to go above and beyond by supporting trans people everywhere, giving a roof over their heads, a warm meal, and some kind words would change people's lives. Consider donating to a charity (a charity you research before donating into, a lot of them are fake and will collect the money) that goes towards help for transgender people, or LGBTQ people in general! We really need it, especially in the days of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named as our president.

5. Don't out them if they're not ready! This goes for all LGBTQ people, but please, if someone is closeted due to safety reasons or even just because they're not ready, do not under any circumstance out them for who they are. This could potentially throw them into massive danger, or it could just throw a massive wrench into their lives in some way. Please ask first.

6. Give positive, gender-affirming actions toward them! I absolutely LOVE IT when people do this. I have a friend who not only does bro-fistbumps with me, the two-pat hug thing, highfives me, but also always uses gender-affirming language such as calling me "man", "dude", "bro", etc. and it just always makes me feel so good to be around him! It creates a pleasant, safe space for us to be ourselves when you treat us for who we are, and it honestly makes us more happy than you know. So next time you see a really fabulous trans woman, tell her she looks lovely and classy today! When you see a trans man on top of his game, mention that he's handsome. And mention the things you know they feel insecure about in a positive way! It gives us majour gender euphoria. I know I've always been so ashamed of my round baby face due to it being the main reason I don't pass, but my friends on a call once had started all ooh-ing and ah-ing about how nice my cheekbones and jawline were and all that day I was ecstatic! A simple compliment that you might not even remember giving could change someone's life. And that goes for all people, not just trans people.

Now, you might have heard a lot of negative things that happened to me because of my being transgender, but I'm here to tell you there is so much hope. Cut forward to 2019. I've been out and proud for three years, and by God, I am so, SO SO much happier than I was. I am proud to say I was lucky, I have an amazing support system in my mom, dad, siblings & grandmother that have helped me so much through this. I'm about to start T soon, and I am so unbelievably excited. The person who had yelled at me in front of family members? They are now supportive, and make an effort around me. The person who called me a tranny? They apologized profusely and learnt from that experience.

So to fellow trans people out there--Things do get better. And they get better soon. You just have to hold out for a little while longer.

And for the allies who want to do better by trans and LGBTQ people everywhere, thank you. Thank you for showing your support, and thank you for your willingness to learn about those different from you. That shows extreme emotional maturity. On behalf of all LGBTQ people, thank you.

- Atom T. L. Yorke

Atom T. L. Yorke is a visual artist, cosplayer, writer, musician, and comedian that has also dedicated his life to helping LGBTQ people in need, especially the transgender community.

[keyboard-smashed]

The Storm That's Brewing

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality (probs more I haven't planned yet lol)

Warnings: None? Tell me if there are some I didn't think of

Note: This is a fic I've already posted to ao3 (keyboardsmashed33) but I've decided to post it here because ?? I have a new side-blog about the story (my-keyboard-did-it-not-me)

Superpower! Roommate! au regards

Chapter summary: Virgil and Patton Summers move into a new apartment with Logan Barry and Roman King.

-----

Chapter 1- Settling In

"Have you got everything?" Virgil's aunt asked, unpacking the last box from the car.

"Yep, think so!" Patton said cheerfully. Virgil wasn’t so sure.

Patton picked up the first few boxes, Virgil following his example, and started moving towards the apartment building before Virgil exclaimed, "Wait!"

He quickly scanned the boxes again, "What was it Lerman asked us to bring?"

"Logan," Patton corrected, "Asked us to bring the-" He quickly checked his text messages from his new roommate, "-kitchen supplies."

Virgil quietly cursed.

"We forgot the only thing our new roommate asked us to bring. He leased the apartment we're going to be staying in and we forgot the only things he asked us to bring. God, we have to live with him for how long? He's gonna think we're lazy or-"

“Virgil! Sweetie," His aunt interrupted, "Look what you're carrying."

Virgil did as his aunt suggested and found, surely enough, he was carrying a big container labelled "cookery stuff" in his own rushed handwriting.

"Oh."

His aunt chuckled, "Alright now that that's sorted, you boys had best start taking these boxes up and meet your new roommates. I'll wait here and join you with the last few boxes in a minute."

Virgil and Patton agreed and each carried a few boxes to the elevator in their apartment building. Despite their apartment being on the fifth floor, and Virgil having no athletic ability, Virgil decided it was safest if he took the stairs. Who knew what could go wrong in an elevator. He left his boxes with Patton, who was practically buzzing with excitement to meet his new roommate whom he had been texting for the past two weeks, and went back to the car to fetch a few more boxes, where he found his aunt chatting with an unquizzically attractive guy.

The guy towered above Virgil’s aunt, which in all fairness, wasn’t difficult since she stood at a mere 5ft. But the guy was still tall- Virgil estimated he was roughly 6ft tall, making him a whole 6 inches taller than himself. He was well built too, darn him, with the body of a jock.

He simply wore a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and skinny black jeans (that, unlike Virgil’s, had no tears in them), and finally a red scarf to tie the outfit together. Despite the scarf, Virgil thought the guy’s outfit was completely innapropriate for the chilly October weather that had Virgil shivering in his thick black hoodie. The air grew warm around Virgil as he approached.

When Virgil’s aunt saw him coming, she waved, causing the other man to turn around. Virgil’s jaw dropped. He looked like a sculpture- with prominent yet warm and soft features that had to be a result of make-up, because nobody could be that naturally beautiful in Virgil’s opinion.

His auburn hair was styled back neatly, except from one stray hair that stubbornly stuck up which Virgil found rather endearing. The man’s eyes were a beautiful and rich chocolate colour (and Virgil sure had a sweet-tooth).

Virgil found his mouth agape and quickly closed it. He was suddenly very grateful that he’d remembered to put on foundation that morning, otherwise his blush would be painfully obvious. Get a grip, he told himself.

Virgil’s aunt smiled knowingly. “Virgil! This lovely gentleman is Roman. He saw me with all these boxes and offered to help, it turns out he’s your other roommate!”

Virgil’s eyes widened in shock. This handsome stranger that Virgil totally was not crushing on, was his new roommate. Oh, he knew he was screwed right then.

Roman extended his hand to Virgil, “Roman King. Nice to meet you.” He smiled.

Virgil gulped and shook his hand, “I’m Virgil- uh- Virgil Summers. Nice to meet you too.” He stammered. Great, you’ve been here one minute and already made a fool of yourself, he scolded himself.

Roman let go of his hand, much to Virgil’s dismay. He noted, “You’re hot.” His smile fell as he tried to correct himself, “I mean warm. Your hand is really hot.”

Virgil was pleased to see that Roman’s face was as red as his hair. He laughed, “Thanks I guess, but you’re probably just freezing because you’re wearing only a shirt in the middle of fall.”

Roman brought his hands to his face in mock annoyance, “It’s fashionable. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

Virgil raised his eyebrow. “Oh yeah, Prince?”

“King.” He corrected.

Virgil’s aunt, who’d been silently watching this back and forth, cleared her throat. The two gentlemen stopped arguing and faced her.

“Oh no, don’t let me stop you two.” She said. The two looked at each other briefly but remained silent. “Oh alright then, why don’t you two take some boxes up then? You can continue while you walk.”

The pair agreed and walked to the elevator together, exchanging awkward smiles, and small talk, when they ran right into Patton.

“Oh Virgil! Who’s this?” Patton asked, trying to get a good look at Roman whose face was hidden behind the three boxes he was carrying (like a show off, Virgil thought).

“Pat, this is Roman Queen. Roman, this is my brother Patton.” Virgil gestured at them with his head, since his hands were full.

“It’s Roman King, but I actually am a queen so you didn’t offend me.” Roman quipped.

“It’s great to meet you! Are you our new roommate or just a kind stranger?” Patton asked.

“I am indeed your roommate, I would shake your hand but...”

“Oh of course! I can take those up in the lift and you two can go get the rest of the boxes?” Patton offered. Virgil agreed.

The elevator was already waiting when they got there.

“Are you sure you can take all these by yourself?” Roman asked when the elevator was stocked with boxes, Patton standing in the centre.

“Well, I am a little boxed in, aren’t I?” Patton joked.

Roman laughed And Virgil groaned that he shouldn't encourage him.

“But anyway, I’ll be fine, Logan said he was happy to assist me. He’s unpacking in the apartment.” He continued.

“Kay, well there are only a few more boxes anyway so we can take them up ourselves.”

Patton nodded. “Tell Aunt Maria I’ll call her tonight.”

“’Course.”

Roman and Virgil made their way back to the car where they discovered that what they’d thought was only few boxes, turned out to be another seven, of which Roman took four. He sat on the curb while Virgil and his aunt said their goodbyes.

“Message me whenever and be careful- especially because of, you know...” Maria trailed off.

“Yeah, yeah, I will.” Virgil promised, picking up the remaining two boxes. Roman stood from the curb.

“Roman, you’ve got my number in case this one doesn’t check in, you can free to message any time for a chat too.” Maria said. Virgil shot a strange look at Roman who simply smiled in response.

“Bye! Té amo!” She called out as they walked away.

“You too!” Virgil shouted back, a little quieter.

“¿Hablas Español?” Roman asked.

“Huh? Oh right, yeah no. Not really. Maria does. I just know a few phrases.” Virgil replied. He opened the door for Roman, who he doubted could even see with all the boxes he was carrying. A hypothesis that was proven correct when Roman walked straight into the elevator door. “Well done.” Virgil sneered.

Roman put down what he was carrying and glared at Virgil, pressing the button, and not breaking eye contact until the elevator arrived. When it arrived, Roman moved his boxes inside and took Virgil’s too, stepping into the elevator. He moved to make space for Virgil who looked nervously inside.

“I know it’s a bit cramped but I don’t bite, Dr Gloom. Well, not usually.” He laughed. Virgil remained motionless.

“You go on up, I don’t trust elevators.” Virgil shrugged. Roman nodded and picked up a box; “What are you doing?” Virgil asked.

Roman passed him a box. “You don’t like elevators so we’ll walk up the stairs, unless you can teleport?”

“I can walk up some stairs by myself.” Virgil said pointedly, handing the box back to Roman.

“I’m sure you can, even with those short legs,” He looked down at Virgil, who was only 5’6” (a perfectly reasonable height, Virgil thought, Roman was just unusually tall), “But you need not.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “God, you really are just a Disney prince in training, aren’t you? Fine, I’ll text Pat to get the boxes.” He said, texting while he spoke. “Or you could, you know, just text my aunt since you got her number for some reason.”

Patton replied almost immediately, ‘Sure thing!’.

Virgil clicked floor seven on the elevator and moved out before the doors closed him in.

Roman raised his arms in defence, “Hey, she gave my her number, not the other way round. She just wants to check on you.”

Virgil slid his phone into his pocket. He walked next to Roman, on the inside of the wall, so that Roman would have to walk further. “You could’ve only spoken to her for like two minutes before I came out!”

“Ah, coming out, how difficult. Anyway, I’m very charming.” First he called himself a queen, then a coming out joke? This guy was surely gay, Virgil reckoned (or hoped).

He waved the coming out joke away, “Right, Prince Charming, I forgot.”

Roman looked delighted, “Why thank you!” He beamed.

They walked in an (awkward? Virgil wasn’t sure) silence for a few seconds. Anxious to fill the silence, Virgil coughed, then asked “So, uh, what’s Logan like?”

Roman put his hands up in the universal ‘I don’t know’, “Dunno, haven’t met him yet. I got here just after you. My stuff’s coming in a few hours, I just wanted t get here early and meet the new roomies.” He explained.

“Weird, but sure.” Virgil panted, “Why are there so may stairs?”

“What, your short legs tired, Fall Short Boy?” Roman teased.

“Bad insult, good reference, challenge accepted.” Virgil sprinted up the stairs. He heard Roman exclaim something along the lines of ‘Unfair!’ and race after him.

Virgil was easily outmatched. Roman reached their apartment while Virgil was still in the fourth floor hall, moaning about his loss and unfair advantages Roman had despite the fact that nobody could hear him. He’d given up on running as soon as Roman passed him, walking the rest of the way and enjoying the brief silence which he felt was going to be a rare occurrence with both Patton and Roman around, and who knew what Logan was like?

When he finally made it to the apartment, he found the door ajar. So much for Roman’s princely manners then, shouldn’t he be escorting Virgil in? Not like Virgil minded, of course.

Inside the apartment were the sounds of gentle conversation and movement- then suddenly the sound of something smashing. Virgil rushed inside.

“What happened?” Virgil asked at the same time as Patton said, “It’s okay!”

A man, whom Virgil assumed was Logan, turned to face him. He wore jeans, a black button up t-shirt, a dark blue tie and glasses almost identical to Patton’s.

Logan smoothed his pristinely slicked back medium-brown hair into place and pushed his glasses further up on his nose,

“Hello, I am Logan Barry, your new roommate. The noise you just heard was a plate smashing which would be the result of Patton and Roman's inefficient unpacking method."

Virgil looked at Logan cautiously, he seemed nice enough- a little direct, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“Virgil Summers.” He replied.

Roman glanced at Virgil, nodding slightly, but addressed Logan, "It would actually be very efficient if I was working with someone that could catch- no offence Patton."

Patton swept his hand through the air like he was literally brushing off the comment.

"Oh, no worries, it's true." He agreed.

"For safety reasons, I think it would be wise if somebody swept up the plate shards.” Logan reasoned.

"I'll do it!" Patton volunteered, searching through the cleaning boxes for a dustpan and brush. It didn't take long, since there was only one but he still didn't find it, "Oh dear, I think we've forgotten the dustpan and brush."

"Let me check." Roman said, rooting through the boxes. "Uh, what colour is it?" He asked.

"Ooh, it's a lovely dark blue." Patton replied.

Roman pulled out a blue dustpan and brush, "Aha! A new set of eyes always helps." He knelt and swept up the plate fragments, Logan occasionally pointed at a piece he missed and Virgil tried to suppress his snickering as Roman imitated Logan when he turned his back.

By 8pm, most of the apartment was ready, due to Logan's incessant nagging that it would be optimal if they completely unpacked that same day. Boxes were unpacked and stacked in a corner in the family room which was otherwise empty until Roman's things were to arrive.

The only messy parts of the apartment were the rooms, as everyone, other than Logan, had decided to leave theirs (mostly) alone until they could paint them- only putting duvets on the beds that had been left by the old owners, or supplied by the landlord, Virgil wasn't sure.

The rooms were quickly claimed: Logan, who had arrived first and already picked the room, chose the room with the best view for stargazing; Roman picking the largest room which he measured with a measuring tape he found in one of Logan's boxes; Virgil opting for room closest to the kitchen, which unfortunately shared a wall with Roman who had blasted Disney songs on his phone while unpacking and Patton subsequently moving into the second smallest room that, to his delight, was the easiest to access the main room (or family room as he liked to call it).

Virgil's room was one of the messiest due to Logan's insanely fast organisation skills and the fact that Roman didn't have anything to put in his room yet. Virgil's bed, which was a simple black wooden bed, took up a good portion of the room. It was a snug fit with a wardrobe and inbuilt desk, as well as Virgil's few packed up belongings, but Virgil didn't care.

Virgil sat on his bed, tired from the excessive amounts of exercise and socialization he'd done in the last few hours. He’d managed to avoid too much, ducking into his room as soon as he felt like he’d done enough not to feel guilty about not helping.

All Virgil really wanted to do after a long day was rest. However, fate is a cruel thing. And fate decided he wasn't allowed to rest. As soon as he thought his job unpacking was done, he heard a car horn and then a knock on his door.

Begrudgingly, he got out of bed. He manoeuvred the boxes in his room and opened the door to find Patton, looking as bubbly and energised as ever. Virgil had no idea how he did it.

"What?" Virgil yawned.

"Roman's stuff's here!" Patton said. He was rolling on the balls of his feet, ready to run and help Roman as soon as possible. Virgil however, was missing the warm spot on his bed.

"So?" He leaned against the doorframe, hoping Patton would just drop the subject and leave him be but if previous experience meant anything, he’d have no such luck.

"Oh, don't be a couch potato, come help us get the couch, please?” He asked hopefully, dragging out the please and launching into his signature irresistible puppy-dog eyes.

"I can't be a couch potato if there's no couch?" Virgil had meant it as a criticism to Patton’s- was it even a pun?- but his heart wasn’t in it.

"Exactly!" Patton exclaimed, "Plus Roman said he'd buy us all dinner if we helped."

“You had me at free dinner.” Virgil’s stomach rumbled in agreement.

-----

Taglist: ~nobody~ xoxo

(also does anyone wanna tell me how to link chapters or do anything at all?????????? pls)

Chapter 2:

[onaegling]

Change

Rating: General Audience Warnings: None. Mild language. Characters: Todoroki Shouto, Iida Tenya Relationship: Todoroki Shouto/Iida Tenya Tags: Pro Heroes, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Past Feelings Resolved, they both have gay panic, they’re pro heroes and gay what r u gonna do abt it Language: English Word Count: 1771 read on ao3 for optimal reading experience

Summary:

Change comes naturally to everyone, of course he should expect this, especially of Tenya Iida. He always changed in U.A. Experience, tragedy, and life all factors to it. So he should expect it now more than ever.

Or

It's been 10 years since they've graduated and only now do they talk again.

There are many things that’s changed since he attended U.A. One of those things being the simple fact he hasn’t seen the man standing before him since graduating all those years ago. It’s strange, he thinks, how close they once were only to be swept away by the complications of their lives.

Things have changed. He’s changed.

Tenya Iida has changed in the way he holds himself, radiating confidence, passion, and warmth. He sees it now in the way he holds out his hand for Shouto to grab on to as he pulls him away from the interviewers. He sees it in the way he still remembers how easily overwhelmed he would get around people and how he grins, a look in his eyes saying “you’ll be fine now.”

Iida’s changed in the way that he projects himself, once brimming with energy and no control over how loud he was, he’s now mellow and quieter. Shouto wonders briefly if something happened that caused him to become this way.

Iida’s changed in the way he looks and sounds; back in high school, he’d always been muscular, but now it seems he’s really bulked up, perhaps due to how tall he is now. That’s another thing, Iida is now… so much taller than he is. Before, they’d been pretty close in height but now Shouto has to look up at him to talk to him. His voice has gotten so much deeper, too, but still so full of passion despite how much quieter he’s gotten.

Iida’s changed in the way that a scar runs up his neck and to his chin. In the way there’s a cut in his right eyebrow. In the way he’s not wearing glasses anymore, (must be contacts, he concludes.) In the way his lips tug upwards into a smile when he notices Shouto been staring.

Oh fuck.

He’s been staring.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Iida starts and Shouto is so thankful he didn’t make a comment on him staring.

“Yeah… uh… sorry for not… texting you or anything. I lost all my old contacts.” Still as useless in a conversation as ever, with a side of anxiety over the fact it’s been ten years and wow Iida’s kinda handsome. No, he’s very handsome.

“Oh! That’s understandable, I doubt I would have been able to respond much anyways. The transition stage of me becoming the head of the Idaten Agency has been hectic. I’ve been keeping tabs on how everyone’s doing with their own careers though, so you don’t have to go into too much detail about how everything’s going for you if you don’t want to.”

Of course he’s that considerate that he’s kept track of the old class’s progress. Of course he tells him he doesn’t have to talk about his work life. Of course …

Stupid… handsome… Iida with his stunning eyes and radiant smile. Dammit.

What’s going on here? He thought he got over those feelings he harbored for him years ago. And they’re resurfacing? He would love to hit his feelings back so they don’t invade his thoughts so suddenly.

Or get swallowed up by the earth. Either one is fine.

“Yeah uh… it’s… been going okay. I guess. Just… doing what I have to do…”

Iida nods and smiles that full smile again and Shouto can’t help but look away, he’s afraid if he looks any more he will most definitely be red and Iida will most definitely notice and ask what’s wrong and he doesn’t want that.

“That’s good to hear!” Iida places his hands on his hips and he gives a curt nod, “Well, I should be heading back to give a report about today’s incident. It was nice talking to you again!”

“You too.”

Shouto almost has half the heart to ask Iida to stay a little longer, to catch up more, but by the time he opens his mouth to speak, he’s gone. Ah, that’s something that never changed. Tenya Iida was, and will always be, fast. Fast to start a conversation, fast to warm up to, fast to run, and fast to leave. One moment he’s in your life and the next he’s not.

How strange…

It’s not until he gets back to his home that he gets a text from an unknown number.

(  Missed working with you. :]  ) 1m.

(  This is Tenya Iida btw.  ) 40s.

(  I should have started with that, shouldn’t I?  ) 5s.

Shouto had forgotten how quick Iida was when it came to sending texts. Nonetheless, the corner of his lips twitched upwards as he started to text his response after saving him to his contacts.

(  yeah same  )

(  wasnt expecting 2 see u tbh  )

(  u rlly saved me  )

(  also i missed u 2 has it rlly been 10 yrs  )

(  Time seems to fly when we’re busy!  )

(  And it’s not a problem.  )

(  We should head somewhere to

 catch up some time.                    )

(  id like that  )

(  where?  )

(  There’s a cafe near my agency.  )

(  It just opened so I was intending on trying it.  )

     -   Tenya🏃 has shared a location    -

(  sounds good  )

(  Great! When would a good time be for you?  )

(  any times fine  )

(  How does Sunday at 1pm sound?  )

(  works for me  )

(  Alright! See you then! :]  )

Shouto stares at the screen, squinting. He pauses, brows furrowing. Did… Did Iida ask him out? Is that what just happened? No, no he’s just reading into it too much is all. Yeah, that’s it, just what his stupid subconscious wants him to believe.

His stupid subconscious also thinks Iida is stupidly handsome.

How is he going to survive this outing?

The answer is simple: he’s not. He’s standing outside of the cafe, hand hovering over the door, and the worst part is he’s late.

He lets out a breath and swings to door open. Once inside he starts to scan the room for Iida. Oh. There he is. He’s waving him down enthusiastically, arms swinging stiffly and Shouto thinks to himself There’s the Iida I knew .

He makes his way and sits down across from him, glancing around every so often should there be any fans or something.

There’s that look in Iida’s eyes again, the one that says “you’ll be okay.” And Shouto really wasn’t ever able to figure out how Iida read him so easily despite the fact his expression hardly ever changed. (That’s a fact he’s been made very aware of through the years.)

“Sorry for being late. I got lost.” Not a lie. He did get lost.

“That’s okay! You’re here now, so that’s what matters!”

Oh, that’s something else that’s changed. Shouto was sure he would’ve gotten a light scolding about punctuality but… huh… That’s… weird . He doesn’t know what he thinks about this Iida. The Iida he knew wouldn’t let it go by until he got it through his head.

“You’ve… changed.”

Iida seems to deflate at this and Shouto kicks himself in his mind.

“Ah… yes well, things have happened over the past few years. I suppose I’ve become more “relaxed” than I was back at U.A. It’s proven to be efficient for Idaten to work together better.”

Yeah no he… regrets saying that.

And still, Iida continues, “I suppose another factor is from my runin with a villain.”

“Is… Did you get the scar from that?” Another insensitive question, he realizes after it leaves his mouth.

“Yes. It was when I had just taken over the Idaten Agency. Unfortunately my teammates didn’t see eye to eye in how I lead things which lead to us getting distracted from the mission, they made it clear to me that Tensei and I have very different ways of leading which I was well aware of when taking the position. It was an eye-opening experience, to say the least. It’s been… difficult. But it’s nothing I can’t overcome.”

Still as stubborn as ever, it seems that hasn’t changed which is something Shouto’s glad for. It’s strange, he realizes, Iida has changed so much and yet he’s still as socially awkward as ever. It’s almost like he’s talking to a stranger.

He doesn’t like that.

“Oh… that’s rough.”

Iida clears his throat and nods, looking away, eyes distant and unfocused. He mulls over Iida’s words for a while and- oh… that’s another thing that hasn’t changed, unfortunately. It still seems he’s living in the shadow of his brother’s legacy, and that his sidekicks made it a permanent reminder of this in the form of scar is…

It makes him mad.

“Your brother’s probably really proud of you.”

“He is but… ah, here I am… We haven’t spoken in ten years and I am already airing all my grievances to you.” He almost seems ashamed of this and it makes Shouto’s heart ache for him.

“I don’t mind… We use to do it a lot. So I can… I understand.”

They’re virtually strangers but in this moment, Shouto feels 15 again, sitting in a hospital bed, feet away from Iida as he listens to the test results on his hand and how they talked for what feels like eternity.

“Thank you but… Still, it’s hardly fair of me to lay this all out on you but-” he cuts himself off mid-sentence as if just realizing something.

Shouto looks at him confused.

“Ah… I just realized.”

“What?”

“I asked you out on a date, didn't I? This is a date.”

Shouto opens his mouth. Oh, wow, what a real curveball that sentence was. Of everything he was expecting out of Iida’s mouth it was not that. The topic really took a 180 there.

“S-sorry! Ah, I didn’t mean to jump that on you. I… It was- I mean, that’s to say. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I mean, that was highly inappropriate of me, I should probably go. It’s been 10 years. What was I thinking? I’m so sorry T-”

“Shut up.”

Iida shuts up, going rigid, standing completely still and… is he holding his breath?

“Breathe.”

He breathes.

“Let’s… start over…”

Iida gives him a confused look and watches as he stands up, holds out his hand, and looks up at him.

“I’m Shouto.”

His large hand envelopes his own, small hand, and he gently shakes it.

“Ii-… Tenya.”

“I wouldn’t mind… if this is a date.”

“You wouldn’t?”

“I… I liked you, a lot, in high school.”

“... I did too.”

“Oh.”

“Indeed.”

“We were kinda stupid back then.”

“Utter delinquents.”

“Yeah, “I’m gonna hunt down and kill the hero killer”.”

“That’s not fair.”

“I never said I liked people who followed the rules.”

“Point taken…”

And that’s enough… This will be enough for him.

[tweenw]

Field Trip-(Derek Hale)

Characters: Scott McCall(mentioned), Boyd(mentioned), Erica Reyes, Isaac Lahey, Derek Hale and (Y/N).

Pairing: Derek Hale x Reader

Warnings: illegal teacher x reader relationship, swearing

Word Count: 4335

Summary: (Y/N) takes a sudden liking to her new history teacher, but is it reciprocated? 

 Part 1      Part 2    Part 3

There is a fine line between the law and breaking it, stupidity and common sense, and physical attraction and love. Now, many people cross each line at various points in their life, and I’m no exception. But of course, I was stupid enough to cross them all at once. And so here I am, sitting in the back corner of his class, counting down the minutes until we’re together again.

“Okay, so check out Mr McHotterson at the board. I could ride that into next week if I got the chance.” Erica, my best friend of many years, giggles next to me, grabbing onto my arm and shaking it until I look at what’s caught her eye. Or rather who.

 At the front of our class, the new History teacher stands confidently. He’s sporting a slight stubble, his hair’s combed back and he’s wearing a loose white shirt under his suit which makes me wonder just what’s hiding underneath it. There’s a small smile on his lips and hope in his eyes, but this class is literally from Hell so the latter will be gone soon. Though I must admit, he is a fine piece of eye-candy. And not to mention that he’s adorable. 

“Okay, I see your point.” I grin at her and take a seat at my usual seat at the back, but before Erica can sit next to me, Aiden slides in. Aiden is the residential bad boy, known for whoring around and getting high in between periods. And him sitting next to me lets me know I’m his latest point of interest. 

“So (Y/N), you busy after school? I hear you’re good in the Chemistry department.” Aiden leans back in his seat and lets his eyes roam over my body. For a second I think of ignoring him, but I’m not going to let him be a sleazy ass this year. We’ve only been back for a few days as well.

I turn to him with the sweetest smile and rest my hand on the books on his desk. “Listen Aiden, you’re really not my type. I’d much rather go for Boyd over there, or Isaac or Scott or basically anybody but you. Even your gay twin. Now, if you’ll excuse me, this seat is Erica’s.” I grin and push the books off his desk with one swift move. They land on the ground with a thud, attracting some attention to us. But he takes this as his queue and swaps seats with Erica, who just high-fives me. 

With a roll of my eyes, I turn towards the front to see the teacher looking at me already with an impressed look. He nods in approval before turning around and writing his name on the board. I smirk a little to myself. So now the hot teacher has a name. Mr Hale. And I’ve managed to impress him.

“So class, I’m your new History teacher if you didn’t see me wandering the halls lost like a priest at a red light district.” Mr Hale turns back to the class and jokes a little, causing a few people a chuckle, an uncanny response given the classes usual behaviour.

“I’m Mr Hale, if you have any questions feel free to ask. Now, let’s start with-” Mr Hale picks up his book, but before he can start reading it a girl, I think her name’s Mona, raises her hand with a flirtatious smile. Mr Hale raises his brows and motions for her to go on. 

“Well, speaking on the behalf of every female student and teacher at this school, how old are you? And are you single?” She flirts, biting her lip. I inwardly groan. Here it is. Poor Mr Hale, I mean yeah I was wondering the same but good God I’m sure this is illegal. 

The girls all laugh at Mona whilst the guys roll their eyes. They’ve been replaced with a middle-aged man. 

“Whilst those are very inappropriate questions, I’ll answer. I’m 26 and yes I am, not that any of that concerns you. Now, shall we get started with immigration into the US in the 1920s?”

The class is silent. You could hear a pair of panties drop in this silence. The smirk doesn’t leave my lips though. Mr Hale has officially proven two things. He’s a laugh but also serious, and he’s also not putting up with any bullshit this year. I like him.

The ringing of the bell pulls me out of my little trance and as I look around the room that is slowly emptying. With a small huff, I gather all of my things and make my way out of the class. But not before my name gets called. 

“(Y/N)? Is this Aiden guy anybody I should be concerned about? I can move him to Mrs Argent’s class if you want. Though you handle yourself well, I have to admit.” Mr Hale leans back against his desk casually, his hands slipping into his pockets. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love men older than me, there’s something fascinating about the maturity of them. But Mr Hale is on a whole new level. One period with him and I feel like I’d do anything he could possibly ask me to do, 

“He’s just a hormonal teenager, nothing I can’t handle. But thanks for your concern Mr Hale. I can tell we’re going to get along already.” I smile at the man in front of me, my new-found confidence somehow overcoming the feeling of uncertainty and weak knees within. 

Mr Hale shakes his head as he chuckles a little, before looking back at me. 

“I can tell we will.”

“I already told you, it’s a one on one study session with him not a secret rendezvous Erica.” I explain for the umpteenth time. Since Mr Hale started teaching at Beacon Hills High School a few weeks ago, my attention span has went from 95% to 12% all because of him. He’s all that I think about, whether it’s his posture whenever I walk into the class, or the way he absentmindedly bites his lip whilst reading, or the way his voice plucks all the right strings in me. Now that I’m thinking about it, a one on one study session doesn’t sound so bad. 

“Well, I’ll remind you of that in a few months when you’re regularly meeting him for a secret fuck at lunch.” She shrugs playfully and runs ahead to catch up with Isaac whilst I take deep calming breaths. Count on Erica to put all sorts of ideas into my head. 

I knock on the already open door of Mr Hale’s class who’s leaning back in his chair eating an apple. An easy smile spreads across his face when he spots me. 

“Ah, (Y/N). Take a seat. So, what can I help you with today? I hope this isn’t because of Aiden?” Mr Hale asks as he shuts the door to the class softly. I take a seat at the very back corner in my usual seat and pull out some paper and a pen. Do I actually need help with history? Maybe a little, but is this predominantly an excuse to check out Mr Hale? Without a doubt.

“I thought we already established that I can handle men.” I raise my eyebrows at Mr Hale as he walks towards the back of the class. A thoughtful look passes across his face, but it’s gone as quick as it came on.

Mr Hale shakes his head and chuckles, a low throaty laugh. My eyes widen a little in surprise, at his reaction and my newly discovered obsession with him.

“I would hardly agree that Aiden is a man, but if that’s what you think keep going.” Mr Hale leans against the desk in front of me, his hands braced against the table behind him. He’s oozing sex appeal, though I don’t know if he realises it.

I lean forward a little and rest my chin on my hands. “Mr Hale, I never meant that Aiden is a man. It was a generalised term, I can handle men all together. But it’s sweet of you to care so much.” I smile sweetly at the man in front of me. 

Good god does he look good right now, with his stubble that’s probably only taken two or so days to grow, his button-up shirt that’s missing the very top button, and his thick-rimmed glasses. He’s like every girls wet dream. 

Mr Hale is quiet for a few seconds, before shaking his head and nodding at my paper. “What can I help you with, (Y/N)?” He asks with a small smile, playfully tired. 

Oh, right. The actual work. 

“Well, you could start by explaining the impact of the Cosa Nostra on the Italian immigrants in the USA in the 1920s?” I smile a little at him and get ready to jot down whatever he says. But the thought of making out with him sounds much more appealing. 

Mr Hale frantically tries to hold the class back as the final bell of the day rings, but to no avail. Not many are interested in a school trip to the museum, despite it being a skive. Well, of course I’m going to go. And any sane girl in his class will too.

Mr Hale gives up his efforts and instead turns to his desk to straighten out the forms for the trip. Erica winks at me and goes up to grab one, getting Mr Hale’s attention. 

“I’m up for all sorts of trips, Mr Hale. As long as they involve you. I would never pass up an opportunity to spend time with you.” Erica winks at him before heading out of the door and sending me a quick goofy smile. I roll my eyes at my best friend, but let it slip.

I pack up the last of my books and head towards Mr Hale’s desk. 

“I’m sorry about her, she doesn’t have a brain to mouth filter.” I chuckle at Mr Hale’s exasperated expression. Poor guy, being this attractive has to be a curse. 

I grab the form and sign it myself, both the student signature and the one my parents should sign. Mr Hale raises his eyebrows at me, but I just put my pen away and hand him the form. “But she also isn’t wrong.”

I grin at him before walking out of the class with the feeling of his eyes lingering on me.

“Okay everybody, I know you’re all of legal age but we’re gonna be using the buddy system whilst we’re here, so pair up!” Mr Hale tells us all, his arms folded over his chest and a small smile as he mentions the childish way of keeping tabs on each other. 

Erica gives me an apologetic look as she pairs with Isaac, leaving me totally alone as everyone else has already paired up. Everyone but Mr Hale. Oh, thank you Erica.

I walk over to Mr Hale, sort of uncertain and probably looking like a lost puppy. “So, looks like I’m your buddy.” I smile up at the flannel-clad man. He’s dressed semi-casual, jeans, a white shirt with a flannel over the top and a suit jacket. This man seriously has a great sense of style. 

Mr Hale chuckles a little, but doesn’t try to blow me off. He turns to the rest of the field trip to address them. 

“Okay, you’re free to go inside. Remember, take notes for your presentations on Tuesday. Be back out here in two hours. Behave.” With that, the students scurry off inside. 

I hold my arms out towards the door. “Shall we?” 

Mr Hale just laughs before shaking his head a little and heading in, with a smitten teenager in tow. 

For a few minutes, we just walk around in silence, him admiring the paintings and me taking a few notes. That’s when I see a painting by Lilian Westcott Hale. This gives me an idea, what’s Mr Hale’s real name?

I place my pencil down onto the notebook and curiously look up at my history teacher, who’m I’ve known for a few months now. The best months of my life.

“Mr Hale, care to answer a question?” I ask the quiet man. He snaps around, a little startled as if I caught him off guard.

“Is it history related?” He asks, playfulness spilling from each word. I shake my head no. He just sighs and motions for me to go ahead. 

“Well, I was wondering what your name was. Like, your first name.” I bite my lip a little, waiting for the sudden rejection from him. But it doesn’t come, surprisingly. He looks like a guarded person, though it’s only his name he’d be giving away.

“If you guess right, I’ll let you know.” Mr Hale smiles a little at me and turns down a long corridor lined with various sculptures. A surge of excitement washes over me at the thought of a wild hunt. I just hope it doesn’t take too long.

“Is it Maurice?” I ask jokingly to evoke a reaction from him, which I do successfully. He looks mildly disgusted. 

“I can’t believe you think I’m called Maurice Hale.” Mr Hale chuckles in disbelief at me. I laugh along too, that was a little far-fetched. Well, here goes nothing.

“Okay, I think I’ve guessed every possible name under the sun and you haven’t agreed to any. So, either you have a really obscure name or it’s something so easy that I wouldn’t even think of it.” I sigh in exasperation as I sit down on the bench outside of the museum next to Mr Hale. 

I have spent the last hour trying to guess random names that popped into my head, but to no avail. I tried everything from boring names to foreign names, but yet nothing. 

Mr Hale chuckles at my desperation, finally deciding to give in. 

“Kudos to you for being so persistent, my name is Derek.” He smiles at me, showing his row of perfect white teeth. As if I wasn’t attracted to him enough as it is. 

A grin creeps up onto my face, content now that I know his name. Derek Hale, the man I absolutely adore.

I smile to myself as I walk through the town, snowflakes slowly drifting down from the sky and creating a perfect winter wonderland. I’m in search for Christmas presents for family and friends. But most importantly, a little something for Derek Hale. 

Ever since the museum trip, the two of us have been spending more and more time together, whether it be me wanting help on assignments I’ve already written or him wanting me to stay behind to re-do homework I got an A on the week before. But it’s not like we are doing anything illegal. All we do is talk about things outside of our school lives, he’s become like my personal counsellor. That’s not saying he was willing to talk about himself at first, just the minor details he accidentally lets slip by. Though I’d be a fool to mistake his longing looks as purely professional. The way he sometimes take a few seconds to actually respond to what I’m saying because he looks lost in his thoughts is rather adorable. But I think it goes without saying that we both enjoy the others company.

 I walk into the local bookstore. I can see if they have something for Derek and my mum, they both like reading. 

As I browse through the mystery section, a book catches my eye. ‘The Last Don’ by Mario Puzo. The cover is bright red with white and black writing, the book’s brand new. It immediately makes me think of Derek. He’s a bright guy, both very intelligent and positive for the sake of his students, but he’s not so eccentric on the inside. He’s the definition of a tortured soul from what I’ve picked up on so far. And he also enjoys Mario Puzo’s work. 

I pick the book out and carry it to the check-out, quickly stuffing it into my bag. One down, few more to go. 

I take my phone out as I exit the store and find Derek’s number. 

‘You’re not so hard to shop for, Hale. Thought it would be more of a challenge x’ I press send with a small smile, and within minutes I have a reply, albeit a strange one.

‘I’m going to pretend like that’s a compliment, also don’t forget you have a six page critical essay due for my class after the holidays x’

Pulling my backpack on, I call a quick farewell to my mom and basically sprint out of the door into the cold December evening. A few hours ago, Derek and I arranged to meet in the woods for our little Christmas present exchange. He was a little hesitant at first, since students aren’t supposed to be meeting with teachers like this, but he gave in with minimal convincing. I just hope he enjoys my presents.

I walk to the nearby woods, which happen to be only about five minutes from my house, and pull out my flash-light. Due to it being dark so early, I’m taking precautions. There is no way that I’m going to be getting lost in these woods. That has ‘cliche teen horror flick’ written all over it. 

I keep walking deeper and deeper into the woods, so deep I don’t think I’ve been here before. The trees are thicker here, the atmosphere chilling. I decide to ignore my fear of a killer jumping out of the tree and staking me and just keep walking without looking back. 

The fallen branches beneath my feet slowly turn out to be a path, not so clear but distinguishable enough that I can see where I’m going. I decide to follow it, maybe it will get me back to the edge of the woods. I’ll just call Derek and tell him to meet me there. 

I walk down the winding path with nothing but silence and the snow crunching beneath my feet accompanying me. I point my flashlight ahead and squint to see a tall building, half burnt down ahead. Okay, so now I’m officially creeped out, Beacon Hills has it’s very own Addams Family mansion. I feel my heartbeat fasten a little as I walk up the creaky old steps to the main door. It’s open, but I’m not stupid enough to go in and explore. But there is something scratched into the wooden panel next to the door. 

‘In Hale familia erit pati’ It’s Latin. As if things weren't creepy enough. But the word Hale catches my attention. Surely that can’t be related to Derek?

I pull my phone out and type in the words. I bite my lip in anticipation and to stop myself from shivering. It’s gotten considerably colder. The website finally translates the words, though now I’m beginning to think maybe it would have been better if I had just ignored the house and kept walking. 

“The Hale family will suffer.” I whisper. 

“I wish you hand’t seen that.” Someone calls over from behind me, not menacing but regretful. It’s Derek. 

I turn around to face him. He’s wearing his usual leather jacket and is holding a little gift bag. How he’s not cold is beyond me. I realise that the feeling of fear is gone, instead replaced by comfort just by being in his presence. 

I walk down towards him, slightly unsure of what he meant. 

“I wanted to tell you, in fact I was going to tell you tonight. I just wish I was here sooner. Merry christmas (Y/N).” Derek smiles a little, causing me to smile too. I love it when he’s happy. As much as I want to know about the weird Latin words on the panel, I let them slide. Derek will tell me when he’s ready. 

I take my backpack off and pull out the bag with his presents in it and hand it to him hesitantly. I hope he likes them. 

Derek takes it from me and gently pulls out the first object. It’s the book I got him a few weeks ago, ‘The Last Don’. His face lights up as he surveys his new book. He opens it up and glances down at the writing on the first page. 

‘For when you need to escape reality for a while. Love, (Y/N) x’ 

Derek smiles down at me, his hot breath in the cold winter night creating puffy white clouds. He pulls out the next object, a small mason jar with colourful papers folded up inside. 

“365 reasons I adore you.” Derek reads out loud, causing the tips of my ears to turn a shade darker. It’‘s so cringey and basic, but I really loved the idea of doing that. 

“Thank you (Y/N), really. I love these.” Derek puts his presents back in the bag and bites his lip contemplatively. He smiles a little before taking a step forward and placing a small, tender kiss on my cheek. A shiver runs up my spine at the sudden contact of his warm lips and my cold cheek. It’s so unexpected, I love it. A massive smile spreads across my face. 

“I’m glad you do, Der.” I grin up at him a little sheepishly.

 In turn, Derek holds out the gift bag he brought along with him. With a little smile I take it from him and look at what’s inside. 

There’s a small leather notebook with my name engraved on the front. I gently take it out and open it to the first page. In small, messy writing there’s a little scripture. 

‘For when you’re ready to learn the truth about me and the rest of the world, Derek x’ For a brief second I wonder what that could mean, but I decide to look at it later in the comfort of my room. The two of us don’t have much time left before I have to go back home. 

In the bag, there’s also a small velvet box. I gingerly pull it out and glance at Derek, who’s studying my every movement tentatively. 

I open it and gasp at what’s inside. There’s a small ring. The band is silver, with a diamond rose delicately wrapped around the band. There’s also a little paw print at the stem of the rose, though it looks like a wolf paw rather than a dog paw. There’s little italic writing on the inside. 

‘XI.II.MMXVII’ 

My brows furrow a little at this. That’s only about a month after Derek started teaching at our school in January. I look up at his questioningly. 

“It’s the date that I realised that...” Derek trails off a little, a frown covering his beautiful face. It looks like he’s still coming to terms with what he’s about to tell me. I reach out with my free hand and take a hold of his hand. 

“Realised what, Derek?” I ask, worry lacing through every word I speak. 

Derek looks down at the frozen ground for a brief moment, before looking back at me with such vulnerability it almost takes my breath away. 

“Realised that I am in love with you, (Y/N).” 

The automatic shocked expression appears on my face as soon as Derek’s words fully sink in. He’s in love with me. My history teacher Derek Hale is in love with his student, which is me. After one year of sitting through his classes each day for an hour straight, then again another two hours after school. This is the man I’ve spent a whole year thinking about, writing about and aching to get to know. Derek Hale is in love with me, and I am too. 

Derek looks like a lost puppy as he scans my face, probably not liking the shocked expression. That’s when I decide to do the thing I’ve been thinking about since the day at the museum when we sat outside on the bench and talked about our favourite authors. 

I close the distance between us, grab his face with my hands and kiss him like my life depends on it, because it just might. 

His lips are warm and soft unlike mine, they taste of cinnamon and vanilla, so enticing. His hands slowly take mines from his dace and intertwine out fingers. A spark ignites inside of me, one full of desire and life, so intense it makes me go weak at the knees. It’s like this is what my life had been spiralling towards. Derek breaks the kiss but doesn’t let go of my hands. He looks at me with eyes full of need, but also regret. Or maybe guilt?

“Okay, please don’t tell me you’re regretting this because I’ve wanted this to happen for far too long and I know this is technically illegal but-” i start to moan at Derek before he interrupts me with a chaste kiss.

“Never say I regret this, because I don’t. Fuck, (Y/N), the very thought of spending time with you after school is what keeps me sane. This is dangerous, but I’ve handled worse before. We can do this if we really want to, if you trust me.” Derek takes my face in his hands and looks me in the eyes, comforting as ever. I don’t even have to think about it. I trust him with everything, my life included. I nod my head.

“Good. Now, we need to figure some things out. This is illegal, after all. But I have your number, I’ll text you my address so you can come over whenever you want. This is risky, (Y/N), but you’re worth it all.” Derek smiles at me, before placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. 

There’s something about being in love with your history teacher that makes you change your perspective on the world. It is illegal, it is dangerous, but it is also worth it. Getting to kiss the man you love at the end of the day is worth going through all of the troubles the law has to offer. 

[vampamber]

Pumpkin Pie Pains

SPN Rare Ship CC: Round 14 | @vampamber vs. @gilded-lady

Prompt: allspice and pumpkin pie

Ship: Dean/Jimmy

Word Count: 2420

Tags/Warnings: divorce, family drama, mild angst

Summary: “Pie! We forgot to make the pumpkin pie, Dean,” Jimmy fretted as he fussed with all the other foods that were in different states of completion. “You can’t have Thanksgiving dinner without pumpkin pie for dessert!”

Dean hugged his fiance from behind and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Jimmy, seriously, you need to chill,” Dean gently reprimanded him. “Claire’s bringing the pie. You know that. Amelia’s told you that at least half a dozen times in the past few weeks. Everything is fine. We got this.” Dean smiled when he felt Jimmy finally relax a little in his hold.

“I know,” Jimmy sighed. “It’s just… Everything has to be perfect. When me and Ames were still married, Thanksgiving was this huge, elaborate deal every year. That woman would put Martha Stewart to shame with the turkey and all the trimmings she’d put on the table. Claire’s never had a Thanksgiving that wasn’t like that. Your food’s good, Dean, but it’s not her mom’s,” he explained.

AO3 Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12862812

Dean let out a sigh as he watched his boyfriend pace back and forth nervously. No matter how many times he’d reassured Jimmy that everything was going to be just fine today, he wouldn’t listen. As much Dean he loved the guy, he would never deny that he had some massive anxiety issues. Today being the perfect example.

They’d been together for almost two years now, but this would be their first Thanksgiving with Jimmy’s daughter from his former marriage, Claire. And they’d been engaged for over a month, but Jimmy was still worried that Claire would be upset that Dean was trying to take her mother’s place. Mind you, at sixteen Claire was upset over just about everything on the planet in some way or another, but that was another thing that Jimmy didn’t listen to when Dean kept telling it to him over and over.

“Pie! We forgot to make the pumpkin pie, Dean,” Jimmy fretted as he fussed with all the other foods that were in different states of completion. “You can’t have Thanksgiving dinner without pumpkin pie for dessert!”

Dean hugged his fiance from behind and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Jimmy, seriously, you need to chill,” Dean gently reprimanded him. “Claire’s bringing the pie. You know that. Amelia’s told you that at least half a dozen times in the past few weeks. Everything is fine. We got this.” Dean smiled when he felt Jimmy finally relax a little in his hold.

“I know,” Jimmy sighed. “It’s just… Everything has to be perfect. When me and Ames were still married, Thanksgiving was this huge, elaborate deal every year. That woman would put Martha Stewart to shame with the turkey and all the trimmings she’d put on the table. Claire’s never had a Thanksgiving that wasn’t like that. Your food’s good, Dean, but it’s not her mom’s,” he explained.

“She’s sixteen, she’s a big girl. I’m sure she can handle one Winchester-made turkey without crumbling to dust and blowing away in the wind from disappointment,” Dean told him, hugging him even tighter. “Besides, isn’t her mom doing the whole shebang for her side of the family on Saturday?”

“Yeah,” Jimmy replied, relaxing the rest of the way. “I’m just nervous. I really want her to like you.”

“I could be saint-like and she’d still see me as the evil step-father, I’m sure,” Dean joked. “I remember being sixteen. Dad had been married to Kate for a long time by then, and I still hated her because she wasn’t Mom. At least Claire won’t have to deal with any half-siblings like me and Sam did. I’m sure we probably left Adam with some permanent emotional scars with how we treated him growing up. To this day he still shudders if he sees pancake syrup whenever me or Sam visits.”

“Adam seems fine now,” Jimmy pointed out as he stirred the pot of boiling potatoes that would probably need to be mashed fairly soon.

“Only because we lived in different states and could only torture him during the holidays,” Dean said with a snort.

“The fact of which he was most likely thankful for on a daily basis, I’m sure,” Jimmy responded, smirking. Dean laughed and nodded his agreement.

“I’m sure me and Claire’ll get along just fine,” Dean said into Jimmy’s neck before giving him a few more G-rated kisses. She’d be here in less than twenty minutes, and Dean sure didn’t want to traumatize her by seeing her dad’s tented trousers.

“She’s refused to even meet you until now, and she only agreed this time because her mother bribed her with very expensive concert tickets,” Jimmy reminded him as he stopped stirring to lean into the kisses.

“Remind me to pay Amelia back for those soon,” Dean said as he switched to nuzzling.

“She already told you no when you offered the first time, so I’m not asking again.” The contented sigh Jimmy let out as soon as he was done speaking kind of ruined the stern tone, though.

“But I feel guilty,” Dean whined.

“Buy her an awesome Christmas present, then. She can’t refuse that,” Jimmy suggested. “I know she still hasn’t bought that new mixer she’s been drooling over.”

Dean turned Jimmy around and gave him a loud, theatrical kiss on the lips. “You are a genius!” He proclaimed just as loudly. “This is why I love you, you know.”

“So you don’t have to think of your own ideas?” Jimmy teased.

“Exactly,” Dean said before kissing him one last time. “Gives me more time to do the important stuff. Like check on the turkey.” He pulled away to do just that, and the two spent the next few minutes in comfortable silence, getting everything ready for dinner.

When the doorbell rang, Jimmy held Dean’s shoulder to keep him from answering it. “Let me get that.”

When Jimmy opened the door, his daughter pounced on him and gave him a suffocating hug. “Daddy!” She shouted. Jimmy had the distinct impression that she was just putting on a show to let Dean know who he really ‘belonged’ to, since she had stopped calling him daddy by the time she was ten. But he let it slide this time, because he wanted to forestall any arguing for as long as possible today.

“Heya, Claire-bear,” he said instead, then stepped to the side to let his ex-wife into the house as well. Amelia greeted him warmly with a hug of her own, then went to put the pie she was carrying in the kitchen.

Their marriage had been a relatively happy one, and Amelia had been completely understanding and even supportive of Jimmy when he had realized that he was actually gay five years ago. There were no hurt feelings, which Jimmy was very glad about. They’d stayed friends after the divorce, and she’d even ended up befriending Dean. The two Food Network addicts were probably discussing turkey in the kitchen at this very moment.

Claire had been completely supportive as well, until Jimmy had started dating Dean. He’d gone on plenty of dates before then, but Dean had been his first serious relationship. She never actually complained to her parents, but she acted like Dean was the worst monster that had ever existed. It was obvious that she was jealous, but knowing why she was acting so mean didn’t make Jimmy feel any better about it. “I think there’s a boy at school that has a crush on me,” she bragged, dumping her coat next to the coat rack instead of hanging it up, just like she always used to do. “He blushes every time I talk to him.”

“But you can’t date yet,” Jimmy responded with an over-exaggerated gasp worthy of a soap opera. “You’re still my little girl.”

“Dad, I’m sixteen,” she said in an exasperated teenager voice.

“See? Still little,” Jimmy said in triumph. “Maybe after you graduate college, I’ll consider it.” Claire stuck her tongue out at him as he chuckled at his own joke.

“I had my first girlfriend when I was fourteen,” Dean said, leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, Amelia behind him.

Claire’s expression immediately hardened. “Maybe sixteen is too young to be dating, after all,” she said stiffly, before going into the front room and flopping down on the couch. The sounds of the television being turned on showed exactly the kind of holiday dinner Dean and Jimmy could probably expect.

“She’s been running hot and cold all day,” Amelia said in apology. “Sorry for dumping this on you guys.”

“No worries, Sam had his bitchy teenage girl moments often enough when we were growing up. I’m used to it by now,” Dean joked, and they all laughed.

“Just remember that if things get too bad, I still have those tickets and I made sure to ask about their refund policy,” Amelia said as she gave them each one last hug before leaving. “Just because she’s a teenager, that doesn’t give her the right to ruin your holiday.”

“We should be just fine, Ames,” Jimmy reassured her. “I’m used to Claire’s moods, remember?”

“This one’s shaping up to be the worst, though,” she warned them. They both nodded, and she finally closed the door behind her.

“Should we be worried?” Jimmy asked, his bravery demolished now that his wasn’t trying to reassure Amelia.

“Naw,” Dean dismissed the thought with a wave of his hand. “She’s grumpy now, but nobody can be grumpy when eating my delicious cooking.”

Dean was proven terribly wrong a few minutes later, when dinner was served and Claire was magically in an even more sour mood than before. It takes a pouting teenager to be able to glare at you while simultaneously eating turkey and stuffing. She ignored every attempt Dean made at starting up a conversation, and only answered Jimmy’s attempts with monosyllabic answers and the occasional grunt or nod where appropriate.

“My mom’s food is better,” she said as she picked at the green beans that Dean had taken great care in making as perfect as possible.

“Good for her, then,” Dean grumbled, his mood shot to hell after almost an entire meal of stony silence intermingled with the occasional thinly veiled insult.

“My mom’s pretty much better at everything,” Claire said, putting her fork down. “And if you think you could ever take her place, you’re insane.”

“He’s not trying to take Amelia’s place,” Jimmy started, but Dean held up his hand to silence him.

“I got this, Jimmy,” Dean said, giving his fiance a kind look. Then he turned towards Claire and asked “What makes you think I’m trying to take her place?”

“You guys are gonna get married,” Claire responded, as if that explained everything.

“Just because your dad will be my husband, that doesn’t mean I’m trying to take your mom’s place,” Dean said back. Not exactly normal dinner conversation, but at least now they had a chance of actually working things out and he wasn’t going to pass that up.

“Yes it does, because you’re gonna try and be a dad to me, and I’m perfectly happy having just my parents,” she said, giving him a death glare. “Nobody asked me if I was okay with any of this. At least when Dad was just dating randomly, I didn’t have to worry about step-parents or any of that stuff. My friend Krissy has a step-mom who’s annoying and constantly trying to get her to do stuff she hates. I don’t want any more parents because I have enough already.” Her volume had gone up the longer she spoke, until she was quite loud by the end.

“Claire-bear, I wish you had said something before now,” Jimmy said, any anger he’d been feeling completely washed away.

Claire sniffled lightly. “Why’d you have to leave Mom, anyway? You guys were happy together.”

Dean sighed as Jimmy got up to give his daughter a hug. It all made sense now.

“We were happy, but not with each other,” Jimmy explained.

“You could’ve been, if you’d just tried harder,” Claire said.

“I love your mother, but I wasn’t in love with her,” Jimmy pointed out. “It took me a long time to realize it, sweetheart, but after I figured out I was gay it wouldn’t have been fair to either of us to stay together.”

“Sometimes people just aren’t right for each other, and they end up splitting up a family when they discover that,” Dean said, coming over to stand next to them. “They don’t want to split the family up, but they don’t want to be together either. It’s a crappy decision either way, but they still try to do what they think is the best way. My own mom and dad split up when I was a lot younger than you, Claire, and it was weird in the beginning, but I got used to it. My dad’s happy with his new wife and I got another brother out of that, and my mom’s happiest by herself. It’s just how things go.”

“It’s not how I wanted it, though,” she said weakly.

“If I could have made any of this easier, I would’ve Claire,” Jimmy promised. “But this is how it is, and there’s nothing that can be done to change it.”

Claire hugged her father harder. She wasn’t crying, but she looked pretty close.

“Was my food really that bad, or was that all just an act?” Dean tried joking to lighten the mood. Claire let out a tiny laugh, though, so it apparently worked.

“It was pretty good,” she said, muffled by the fact that her face was still pressed against Jimmy’s shoulder. She pulled away to smile teasingly at Dean. “But my mom’s is still better.”

Dean and Jimmy both laughed. “I’m sure it is, Claire,” Dean said, still grinning.

“How about some pumpkin pie to celebrate this new understanding?” Jimmy suggested as they all sat down again.

Jimmy reached for the pie to start cutting pieces when Claire grabbed his hand and shouted “No!” When her father gave her a confused look, she explained. “I, umm… may have sabotaged the pie when Mom wasn’t looking?” She gave a hesitant smile that begged them to not be angry with her.

“You ruined pie,” Dean said in an overdramatic way. “That’s practically a sin.”

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, looking it. Until Dean started laughing.

“Gives me an excuse to make another one later, at least,” he said, still chuckling a little.

“You were prepared for this?” Jimmy asked.

“Not really,” Dean admitted. “I just wanted to make sure there was enough pie for leftovers.”

Jimmy smiled at his pie-obsessed fiance. “Of course you did.”

“Can we still watch a movie after we finish cleaning up?” Claire asked, back to herself now that she didn’t have to play the part of the angry teenager any more.

“Of course we can,” Jimmy said, getting up to start clearing the table.

“We always watch my favorite Christmas movie after Thanksgiving dinner,” Claire explained as she got up to help Jimmy.

“Christmas already?” Dean groaned. “I’m still digesting the cranberry sauce. Can’t it wait at least one more day?” He complained.

“Die Hard is a freaking classic,” Claire argued.

“Wait, Die Hard is your favorite Christmas movie?” Dean asked. When Claire nodded, Dean’s face split into a wide grin. “I like her,” he said to Jimmy. Jimmy only shook his head and laughed. He knew they’d get along. Eventually.