#incomplete thoughts are incomplete

[rosecoloredtarot]

I feel like I'm the minority here, but I don't think trimming branches off trees and bushes or cutting the grass is actually spiritually significant to them.

Lots of folk like to ask permission of a tree's spirit before taking a limb. Which is good, being polite is always a plus. But I genuinely don't think they care. I feel like they have a relationship to branches and leaves like we do to hair or nails - a part of you that grows but doesn't actually hurt to remove.

I think it comes down to scale as well. Taking a 3in thick limb from an ancient Oak tree is going to be irksome but not detrimental, because it has 15 more. Taking a single leaf from a sapling could kill it.

Idk where I was headed with these thoughts. Concluding sentence.

[callmeizukunotdeku]

I love the idea of parentified Tim Drake.

Bruce loses Jason and isn't ready for another son. Tim sees this, he acknowledges this, and he's okay with it. He's never really been a son to his own parents so he wouldn't expect the neighbor to start taking care of him.

When Tim's parents come home, they're not mean or anything, they just don't baby him. They treat him as an equal--as someone who knows what he's doing--and that's fine, because he does.

He's been taking care of himself for as long as he could remember, so when people try to treat him like a child, it angers him more than anything. The way that they assume just because he's young he can't take care of himself.

Tim's been to galas before, though. He's talked with Bruce and the man never treated him like he was incompetent. Tim's parents would ask Tim questions about the company so that he could recite them to Bruce. It was a song and dance he was well versed in, but he didn't really mind, not when Bruce looked at him with such a fondness in his eyes, always saying, "That's really interesting. You know a lot about your parents' company. Did it take you a while to memorize it?"

And he'd shake his head and say, "No," because that was the correct response, even if it was wrong.

Even if he had flashcards about Drake industries and kept up to date with perception of the company and the stock value and who the shareholders were and what they wanted and what they were willing to do to get that.

It wasn't one bout of work. It wasn't a single night of studying to make sure he passed the test, but a lifetime memorizing information and then rememorizing it when it changed.

So when Jason died and Bruce started getting bad, Tim knew what to do.

He was used to long term projects where it would be years before he actually got to see any result. He was used to seeing adults as people who he was responsible for, though he had to admit that the responsibility had never been that big before.

When Tim showed up at Bruce's doorstep, he was young, just like both of Bruce's other sons, but his eyes lacked that sort of naïveté and childlike wonder that should have accompanied the baby fat which persisted on his cheeks.

That's what made Alfred pause at the door.

There was a kid. A black haired, blue eyed kid. He was young, like both of Bruce's sons. His lack of naïveté was something he shared with both children, only Dick's had been a fresh sort of loss, one he was still mourning, and Jason's naïveté was something long-forgotten and left to rot. It was a feeling you smelt when you left the windows closed for too long.

Still there, still somewhere, but not quite right and never able to be found, only stumbled upon in rare moments of something that could almost be called joy.

Tim's naïveté is something he left at home. He keeps it on a shelf in his bedroom, something to look at when the going gets rough, but something too fragile to be held.

Maybe that's why Alfred lets him in.

That day, Tim meets Bruce--not Brucie or Batman, just Bruce.

He meets a man who's hair's grown long, but not long enough for it to have been intentional. There's grease in his hair and bags under his eyes and you can tell that he's been biting his nails.

He's clean shaven, because that's what people can see when he wears the cowl.

Tim takes a deep breath before walking into the room.

Bruce doesn't move, but Tim doesn't doubt that the man notices him.

The room smells like alcohol--a smell he recognizes from when his own father is home, though he can't say he's ever remembered it smelling so concentrated.

"Hello," he says, when he's right in front of Bruce, "My name is Tim, and I'm here to help."

Bruce doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to.

Tim talks to him, slowly distracting the man as he brings him to the bathroom, first trying to put a toothbrush in his hand and then, when that doesn't work, brushing the man's teeth himself.

Tim draws a bath for him and grabs him a new pair of clothes, and tells him to take his bath, only leaving the room when Bruce finally stands up and starts undressing.

Tim takes care of the sheets, puts new ones on the bed, and goes to the kitchen, to find Alfred already making food.

The butler asks him if he's staying to eat but Tim just insists that he's not hungry and brings the food up to Bruce.

He knocks on the bathroom door, and when Bruce doesn't respond, he opens it.

Bruce is sitting in the bath, knees to his chest, crying, but not otherwise moving.

So Tim rolls up his sleeves and washes Bruce's hair, then keeps him company as Bruce washes himself.

Bruce finds it easier to get things done when there's someone else in the room--talking to him, giving him something else to think about.

Tim talks as he gets Bruce out of the bath and hand him a towel. He talks as Bruce dries himself off and gets dressed. He talks as Bruce eats the lunch that Alfred made him and he talks until he gets Bruce back to bed.

He leaves, voice hoarse from talking so much after living in an empty home.

He comes back the next day and does it all again.

Alfred doesn't know what he should do. He knows, of course, that Tim is young and shouldn't be taking care of someone at that age.

He also knows that Bruce is in no state to take care of himself and all of Alfred's attempts have been in vain.

Tim's talking was what got Bruce to eat his first actual meal in a week--not just popcorn and protein bars. Tim's presence is what got Bruce to bed.

Tim was what was making things better, so while Alfred knew he should put a stop to it, he couldn't quite make himself do so.

Instead, he started doing little things.

He invited Tim to stay for meals.

Invited Tim to stay the night.

It took a while, but eventually, Tim started living in the manor.

One month, there's only ghosts in the house, the next, three beating hearts.

One month, Bruce can only think of his son, the next, he's calling Tim his dad.

One day, Bruce crosses the line as Batman, and the next day, he has a Robin.

You know how things go from there, some things are lost, others are gained. Some things stay the same, others do nothing but change.

Bruce and Tim get better, but Bruce still thinks of Tim as his dad.

No one really pays it much heed, though. That's just how they are--nothing really to note.

It's Dick, though, who starts noticing something's off, because Tim never sleeps.

When Dick was first adopted, he had nightmares.

He'd remember what it was like to watch someone fall. He did not watch it from the ground, but from the balcony, holding onto a trapeze, moments away from completing his own jump.

It took him months to finally come to Bruce, tell him about his nightmares.

Though he was never told the details, he knew it was the same for Jason. He pushed Bruce away, insisted that he'd be fine on his own, but eventually started letting him in.

He never asked, but assumed it was the same for Tim. When Tim couldn't sleep, when he had nightmares, when he couldn't stand to sleep in an empty bed, he'd go to Bruce like the rest of them did.

It was a reasonable thing to assume, and it was a belief he only questioned when he got up in the middle of the night to get water.

That same night, Bruce had a nightmare. Bruce knocked on Tim's door. Bruce slept in Tim's bed.

Tim ran his hands through Bruce's hair, promising that everything would be okay until Bruce fell asleep.

Now that he knew to look for it, Dick started noticing even more. The way Tim knew Bruce's favorite food and the way Tim took care of the man's company so that Bruce had the freedom to do what he wanted. The way Bruce turned to Tim when he had a problem or wanted to be told he did something well.

It was wrong.

It was wrong and Dick was trapped because he hadn't noticed it earlier. Why didn't he notice it earlier?

Tim came to him first, asked him to become Robin again. Dick knew about Tim from the start. Dick was there for the entirety of his stay as Robin.

He was there.

So why didn't he noticed?

Jason sees him panicking on patrol and Dick just breaks.

He breaks down in his brother's arms--arms he can feel tightening around him as he tells him everything.

They talk about it a lot after that. Jason starts noticing things too.

They bring in Babs and start making a file--compiling evidence because there's always the urge to just ignore it. To acknowledge that Bruce is doing better than ever.

But that requires them to forget about Tim.

To let the boy take care of Bruce and not live his own life.

Because, now that they're looking, they can see how lonely it is.

How he doesn't have any school friends--he had to drop out to take over WE.

How he's grown apart from Young Justice--always leaving when Bruce is in trouble or needs someone to talk to, not able to bear the idea of what Bruce might do if left alone.

Because Tim knows he'll break.

Bruce needs someone to take care of him, and Tim exists to fulfill the needs of others, regardless of how much it takes from him.

So Tim goes and helps his son. He never talks about how tired he is. He has sleeping pills to fix that, and maybe he can't take them because what if Bruce has a nightmare and then he can't wake up Tim--it's unimaginable.

Dick and Jason notice, though, and they try to bring it up with him, but they're not sure how.

Not when Tim's gut reaction is just to start taking care of them, too. Easing their worries, telling them that everything's okay.

They want so bad to insist that it's not okay, that this is going to ruin Tim and he can't spend his whole life like this.

But they want even more to be held. To be granted that unconditional love and care that comes with being Tim's child.

So they try to say something--anything.

But then, Tim smiles. He opens his arms to them and asks about their days.

And they they try to tell him that not everything's okay, but Tim is smiling, and they try, but they can't say a thing.

[regular-gnome]

31. Landmark

He wasn't always one

[thegreatmelodrama]

A small detail in Dead Poets Society that always stays within my brain is how when Neil goes up to his room, the camera pans to his bed that has his pajamas, a robe, and toiletries have all been laid out for him (presumably by his mom). Neil briefly touches his pajama shirt in a way that has always stuck with me. Because, here, in this moment, Neil is reminded once again that his future has already been laid out for him, that he can’t even choose his own pajamas to wear much less choose what he will do with his life. It’s only further confirmation to him of what he thinks he must do; that the only way to live life on his own terms is by ending it.

Furthermore, this scene contains parallels to that which depicts the night of the first dead poets meeting. In the latter, Neil enters his room to find the Five Centuries of Verse book left by Keating. This is followed by the poets all sneaking out into the night with the same score being used in both this scene and the scene of Neil preparing for his final act. Keating’s book represents freedom and hope and passion, a stark contrast to the pajama laid out for Neil in the later scene. However, one could argue that the crown of thorns, which Neil gravitates to after looking at his folded pajamas, represents a similar, yet different sort of freedom. When Neil places the crown on his head and takes his final bow, he effectively commits himself to the decision to find freedom in the dreams of the eternal sleep that is death.

What appears as a small detail, really holds so much more depth when looked at in a different way.

[localechoes]

and you may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful wife

[opheliaandthesun]

Mickey Milkovich believed he was doomed for 2 reasons.

1st Being from the southside and carrying the name Milkovich. It meant he was destined for a life of drugs, guns and doing time just like his father, his brothers and cousins. Not worth an education or any fancy people bullshit. And he wanted that, wanted to be the "the king of the southside". Had resigned himself to it.

2nd was being gay "a big ol 'mo". In the circles he ran, the family he had, the neighborhood he lived in, it could mean nothing else but violence, hatred and death. So he tried his best to bury it, to deny, to hide his feelings.

He couldn't have predicted that the reason for doing time would be because of the 2nd and not the 1st.

He went to juvie for taunting the ex (read pedo boss) of his (not) boyfriend. Then a second time for fear of being outed by his (not) boyfriend's dad. Then went to prison for intending to torture the woman who turned his boyfriend (!) in to the MPs. He thought that crime would dominate his life and he could ignore/hide the other unwanted feelings but in the end he did it all for love.

Everytime Mickey Milkovich — criminal, thug, drug dealer, pimp — was locked up was for love.

Like, it fucks me up when people say Mickey is just a violent criminal, when the story of his life revolves around love. He has such a big heart and an epic love story.

[whenastrofell]

Both Fugo and Mista's stands are designed to kill and not much else. Fugo repressed his anger to the point that it manifests as a monster that can kill you in seconds and Mista's is related to the event that barred him from ever being a normal person again.

Fugo obviously doesn't like his stand. He only brings it out when he really needs to- it's so deadly it almost has no practical use and he isn't even immune to its virus.

Mista doesn't hate his stand, but I think there had to be a moment where he thought about it- That moment defines him now; he's a killer.

I don't think they would talk about it, but I wonder how it would go if they did.

[psink]

Whilst overall I prefer the manga to the anime, there's one aspect that I think the anime does better - the very ending.

Compared to the manga's very compactly shown thoughts of the cast, the anime gives each of them a short scene.

But although that change already is great, what matters to me the most, is this added scene of Saiko.

Despite it being so short, it feels so fitting and important to Saiko's character, making its absence in the original seem wrong. (They also added Rifuta, though comparatively, her scene isn't so significant.)

[3dwi-scr]

why is grace always looking away?

im not entirely coherent rn as i never am but something that makes rounds in my head is the fact grace is always turned away and staring down/into the horizon, and very notably we dont see her really interacting with the other "workers"

and even when we do, she's still turned away and hanging her head low.

joe has to put a chair floating off the ledge to talk to her

and yet, even though something is clearly wrong with grace, no one in universe ever talks about it. the only mention we get of grace in any capacity is this on inside 3dwi

(screenshot also could be evidence to the pat in the simulation theory which i havent looked into, i wana focus on the name 'grace's guilt' moreso for now)

to me this kinda means grace has witnessed something, more than experiencing the abuse herself. if my theory/interpretation of amber being an affair child of rebecca and pat is true, and considering grace is one of the kids (not mentioned in PJR formation) and also the *tallest* of the three kids im inclined to assume the following

grace witnessed something. either that, or she made a few connections (being the oldest/having the most capability for understanding) and knows what amber is going through. but grace is a kid herself and cant do a lot. she has a lot of guilt about this, and she may or may not have brought it up to her parents. either way, it results in a talk given to her and holland

(but holland is just chillin. regardless of if they know about any abuse happening im inclined to say theyre too young to fully understand intellectually. all this is probably just making the poor kid feel bad :( )

after this talk (and the ban on GoodKid) we have the red amber explanation, and then the user comments,

and right afterwards

grace is standing at the shore, staring into the bottom of the ocean. she turns her head and looks around in the water

why is she the last character we see and not amber or pat?

[thehotpilot]

every day i wake up and i am so thankful 911 let bucktommy develop after the failed first date…like it wasn’t just a plot device for bucks bi awakening but also a lesson in how real adults communicate and treat each other in relationships and it’s not just about buck it’s about tommy too!! like that date was about him and his right to be treated with respect as much as it was about a first for buck!! and we know tommy can be dead pan and kind of a bitch (so affectionately) but he is also so very kind in the way he lets buck down. and abc could have just left it there but instead they brought him back!! and i think just as much as the bi awakening the lesson buck learns this season (or gets to exercise at least) is that even as an adult you will inevitably behave and treat people in ways that you are decidedly not proud of (i am also looking at you basketball!buck) and you have so much power to let the communication and discussion that follows strengthen your relationship with that person but you have to work for it. and sometimes you will be treated poorly and you have to remain kind in the face of that and all of it also takes so much work but the work MEANS so much.

but yeah tldr i’m so glad 911 brought tommy back for that follow up coffee date bc it was such a good example of how real life communication and apology works and can lead to something more even (especially) if you’re feeling embarrassed and vulnerable!!

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

(The conclusion) Chapter 22: Aftershocks (end.)

Aaaaa This is it! The last chapter of Wobbly Hearts! You know when I started working on this I never thought it would get as long as it did but I’ve loved writing every word.

Enjoy the chapter! Signing off for the last time, this has been

[pedulum-chronometry]

Shoutout to the Bi to Ace pipeline! ✌️

[em-is-bread]

I call them the Holy Trinity

[bonesjonesing]

doing my first Harrow the Ninth re-listen-to, and being struck by a few things so far--

Augustine drawling after Harrow says something snarky that maybe she really is "Anastasia come again"

Abigail's ghost (Abighost?) saying that she doesn't know where lyctors go [when they die]

Jod telling Harrow that her parents did a sort of resurrection, and also she's a miracle/he's not sure how it was possible (*assuming he's not lying, which, y'know)

+ To a lesser extent, the analysis I've seen about Anastasia x Alecto and Nona kissing her reflection and finding herself very attractive, etc

Not to say Harrow is literally Anastasia reincarnated, but kind of wondering about the broader implications of what Jod said about Harrow; & what if somehow Anastasia's soul remnants got roped into Harrow's conception. Rolled over in her grave too hard at it and got involved. (+thinking about lots of smaller things about Harrow's relationship to Alecto....)

[chanelle-lize]

I used to have a really hard time bringing up the fact that I graduated from high school a year late without feeling the need to explain why and insisting that it wasn't my fault while simultaneously kicking myself for how much I sounded like I was just making excuses for something I should take responsibility for.

Then I watched Dimension 20's "The Seven" and suddenly I could simply say that I was a super senior.

The first time I heard the phrase "super senior" was in reference to Antiope Jones, a Black girl who had been held back a year after getting kidnapped and imprisoned by members of a fundamentalist cult, and like, girl, same.

So, since then, instead of anxiously spinning out any time I tried to tell a personal high school anecdote, I could just say I was a super senior, and then my brain would auto complete that statement with "like Antiope Jones" and I'd feel good about myself because Antiope Jones Is That Bitch.

That's what the problem had been the whole time. I wasn't worried about how other people would perceive me; I had been struggling with how I perceived myself.

Thanks, Aabria.

[godslush]

I'm not really one for shipping in Look Outside so I don't consider this a shipping thing, just a good friends thing, but I do think that post-Flawed Ritual is a great time for Lyle and Jeanne to personally console and comfort Sam about his new situation because he hasn't changed in a way that both of them haven't already gone through and gotten over (very big, too many eyes, too many limbs).

It kinda goes along with the additional tags on my drawing that I don't think many people saw due to the dashboard cutting off tags (where everyone in the whole complex hears his scream when he transforms and they all know it's him, and a bunch of people whom he had a positive impact on show up at the door from every floor to see if he's okay).

I do see a momentary funny moment where the folks gathered bang on the door but can't get in because the other roommates (especially Hellen) are keeping people out because they have 'a situation' and don't need a crowd of people making it worse... Lyle proceeds to unlock the front door himself with his stolen key and gets into an argument over it with whoever is at the door (he insists he just 'got it out of the planter because he's Sam's friend and knows where the spare key is' except whoever is outside with him obviously just saw him pull it out of his cloak).

While everyone's busy bickering, Jeanne just breaks down the walls to give him a hug and console him because she's made it very clear that her new body is capable of breaking down walls.