#incorrect murdoch mysteries

[incorrect-murdochmysterys]

Willam Murdoch:*carrying all the groceries*

Julia Ogden: *holds out her hand to help*

Willam Murdoch: * aggressively moves all the bags to one arm to hold his wife’s hand*

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Murdoch Mysteries text posts vol. 3

vol 1, vol 2

[belongstocaptaindoyle]

[i-am-a-whimsy-boy]

Murdoch Mysteries Incorrect Quotes (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Edition)

(Murdoch and Brackenreid setting up a dating profile for George) Murdoch: All right, now what are some of your likes? George: Uh, ghouls. Brackenreid: Son of a bitch. What are you talking about? George: You know, funny little green ghouls! Murdoch: What, like in movies and cartoons? George: Little green ghouls, buddy! Brackenreid: Don't write ghouls! Murdoch: I'm not, I'm putting travel!

(Station House Four goes to the beach) Henry: HOOOOOLY SHIT! Is that the OCEAN? George: Yeah, buddy, that's the ocean. Henry: And what's on the other side of it there? Murdoch: Europe. Henry: Now, how long would it take... George: Do not try to swim to Europe. Henry: *Don't* swim to Europe? Murdoch: Do not.

(Station House Four doing some kind of St Patrick's Day Thing, I don't know why, just move past it) Henry: Check it out, sir, I've got some cool stuff. I've got some green paint, and I found a snake! Brackenreid: Great. Why? Henry: Well, I don't remember where we landed on St. Paddy, but I know snakes were involved. And the paint is for the beer! Brackenreid: Okay... Love the snake. Great catch there, but... why not just use food colouring for the beer? Henry: Because beer's not a food. When was the last time you ate a beer? Brackenreid: When was the last time you drank paint? Henry: Brackenreid: Brackenreid: Have you been drinking paint? Henry: Henry: ... No. Brackenreid: Let me see your tongue. *(Henry sticks out a green tongue)* Brackenreid: OH MY GOD.

Brackenreid: Wow. That's almost impossible. Murdoch: Well, first of all, through God, all things are possible, so jot that down.

George: You're not an artist, Henry, you're drawing with chalk. Henry: No, I'm drawing with, like, marker and pen and stuff. I'm just eating the chalk. Watts: Henry, don't eat chalk. Henry: Well, it settles my stomach. George: If your stomach hurts, eat a Tums! Henry: What's the difference? George: ONE IS CHALK! Henry: Well, I don't like wasting Tums! Tums is very good to draw with! (Station House Four undercover for something and they need a diversion) George: Oh, you know what? I'll be a plumber! I'll knock on their front door, tell them I have a deal on pipes, and you guys run out the back. Murdoch: ... That's a little elaborate, but okay. George: OOH! I'll do a Swedish accent! Murdoch: No! You don't do a Swedish accent! You don't know how to do a Swedish accent! And you don't need to! These people don't know who you are! George: I'm a Sveedish plumber and I'm here to fix your pipes! That's good, that's a good accent! Murdoch: I'm going to KILL YOU.

(George brings plates when everyone else forgets or something, again, just move past it) Murdoch: The Lord provideth! Brackenreid: No, Murdoch. No, the Lord not provideth, Crabtree provideth! He's the one who brought the plates. Crabtree provideth. Murdoch: The Lord provideth the situation for George to bring the plates. See, it's all a part of His great plan, and that's locked in, so we're good. Brackenreid: Okay, so all we have to do is nothing? Murdoch: No, no, we have free will, sir. Which means we have to take the necessary steps to make sure that plan comes to fruition. Brackenreid: Which is predetermined? Murdoch: Yes. Brackenreid: But it doesn't matter if it's all predetermined. Do you see how your argument doesn't make sense? Murdoch: That's correct. But it doesn't have to make sense, because that's where the faith comes in. See, I have faith that what I'm saying makes sense. Brackenreid: Okay, so even if it doesn't make sense, your faith makes it make sense? Murdoch: Correct. Brackenreid: Got it! Okay, so there's no way to have a rational conversation with you. Murdoch: ... No.

(George and Brackenreid talking in that one episode with Brackenreid trying to stop drinking) George: Sir, what do you want more than anything else in the entire world? Brackenreid: ... Crack. George: Oh! I thought you were going to say, like, pizza, or buffalo wings, or something, but... you want crack? Brackenreid: Yes. Crack cocaine. George: Now, I've never had crack. Brackenreid: Oh. You are going to love it.

[laurastacey]

James Pendrick: I don't appreciate your accusatory tone.

Detective Murdoch: I'd use a different tone but I'm trying to accuse you of something.

[snug-as-bugalugs-in-rugalugs]

Murdoch: Am I right, Watts? Watts: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

[incorrectchalkzonequotes]

Penny: *leaving the movie theater* I'm merely stating that given that the film was based on a Jules Verne novel, they could pay at least cursory attention to scientific plausibility. Rudy: I believe it's meant for children, Penny. Penny: Precisely. You wouldn't want them to go through life with a distorted understanding of physics.

[lifewithwatts]

"As a homosexual and an officer of the law, my policy is that it's only illegal if you get caught."

-Llewellyn Watts, probably

[incorrect-aio-quotes]

Eugene [leaving a movie theatre]: I'm merely stating that given that the film was based on a Jules Verne novel, they could pay at least cursory attention to scientific plausibility.

Katrina: I believe it's meant for children, Eugene.

Eugene: Precisely. You wouldn't want them to go through life with a distorted understanding of physics.

[incorrectlwlandpiquotes]

Casey: *leaving the movie theater* I'm merely stating that given that the film was based on a Jules Verne novel, they could pay at least cursory attention to scientific plausibility. Kira: I believe it's meant for children, Casey. Casey: Precisely. You wouldn't want them to go through life with a distorted understanding of physics.

[shit-the-vampyr-cast-never-said]

Edgar: I have an an announcement... I think.

Usher: You think you have an announcement or you’re announcing that you think?

[incorrect-murdochmysterys]

George: Do you think when butterflies are in love they feel humans in their stomach?

Effie: George, Darling, please go to sleep.

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Murdoch Mysteries text posts (because I can)

vol. 2, vol 3

[belongstocaptaindoyle]

George: Give me a number between 1 and 1 million. Tucker: 5 George: *hands him 5 cents* Henry: HAHAH what a loser you are, Tucker! George: *turns to Henry* Give me a number between 1 and 1 million. Henry -dead serious-: 7 Tucker, George: 🤨

[veryrealimagination]

George: My name is George. This is Henry. Can you say George or Henry back to us if you want to communicate? If you have it in you.

George: What if we got a Henry and George on the dictionary?

Henry: I would love it. I would love it! I doubt that's in the dictionary, but...

Spirit Box: Nerd.

Both: Laughing Hysterically.

Henry (still laughing): God damn it!

George (also still laughing): Fuck you, Ghost. Dude, touche though, to-

Henry (out of breath laughing): That was very good. I've never been so owned by our own recorder.

[snug-as-bugalugs-in-rugalugs]

Murdoch: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small. George: I would say infinitesimally. Henry: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.