#incorrect pesterlogs

[2-many-ideas-help]

i found a pesterlog generator >:3

[incorrect-pesterlogs]

GA: "I Could Fix Him" I Could Break Him. I Could Snap That Fucker In Half.

[homestunked]

TT: i want you so bad

TT: imliterally in love with you

-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --

GT: WHAT

-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --

TT: Sorry, I was fighting demons when I sent that shit.

TT: I mean hey.

TT: Act like you never read that.

GT: No wait

[nolonger100daysoftavvyfanart]

Upd8 thoughts! I've not done this before here so I might get the number of spaces wrong to hide spoilers under the read more, but I'll try it anyway;

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:readmore:

ok surely that's enough

I'd assumed the note was being read directly after they were shouting at her, but apparently they both snuck out later. I guess maybe Harry and Vrissy got distracted or something? It's also very interesting that he's not using,,, his typing quirk,,, which could imply either:

It's just spoken. The pesterlogs could be explained as him using speech to text and treating it like a phone call, which would be in line with the Crockerlish old-timey stuff, thought nothing else suggests he does this

He can use full stops instead of commas when calm. This makes logical sense; he uses more commas when he's under stress, so he'd obviously use less when he's locked in

He didn't write the note. This is possible, but I hope he did.

The Yiffyism is interesting... Also, we might finally find out why his chumhandle is glutinousGymnast; I've previously speculated that he randomly generated it with a chumhandle generator, which may prove incorrect.

Tavvy rodent imagery is back!

Getting killed while generating a shield is dying while protecting someone. Textbook heroic death, I think this one might just stick... though maybe getting taken out by some mook goon cancels it out?

Goop on the screen is interesting. Could it be ecto-slime?

I'd say the skin is too dark to be a troll but vintage-foods has been known to play with the troll tones... At the very least, we now know that GC isn't AR-Terezi, which was a popular theory.

backwards arc number spotted

The only time I can think of where new word != new species was Jane "bothering" people

I seem to remember Vrissy saying something like "nobody worth messaging anyway" about this new chap. At the time I assumed that meant GC was a bot, but maybe they're just clingy... the run on texting stuff kind of reminds me of Harry.

Maybe the goop is said volatile materials? And now we know they aren't a cherub, since they're skeletons, and skeletons don't have buttcheeks

like... a seer?

Candy kids sburb! wait.

These lines earlier kind of imply that TC and GC actually worked on the game, which none of the beta kids had to do for Sburb. Though I do vaguely remember Sollux had to do something hacker-ish for Sgrub...

Ok the goop is definitely volatile

Time to see how this affects my end flash bingo card! I'll have to change things if this upd8 made them impossible, and I'm allowed to change things if I think they've become unlikely.

I was worried I'd have to eliminate "Deltritus kid intro", but luckily I didn't say it had to be the first one.

I do have to get rid of "Tavvy note read during the flash" because it's already been read now. I also have to lose "Moon laser set off by someone dying", because it's already gone off.

I'll be replacing these later this week I think. Good upd8!

[homestuckreplay]

‘scrawling notes furiously into [my] psychoanalysis journal’

(page 460-471)

8/12/2009 Wheel Spin: Long Pesterlog Verdict: One Day Too Soon

8/13/2009 Wheel Spin: Movie Reference Verdict: somehow, incorrect

Yesterday was the one hundredth update day, today is the four month anniversary, and what do we get for the occasion? Plush Rump. Which is probably accidental but it is upsetting all the same.

cw: a lot of this post is about puppets.

So I originally assumed Dave’s bro was around 16, but this update has me questioning that. The fairly adult website that ‘rakes in thousands of dollars a month,’ the recent mention of taking Lil Cal out on gigs, and the control that Bro has over the common areas of the house all could be true of a teenager with permissive guardians, but I also wonder if he’s Dave’s sole guardian. If that’s true, I wonder if this is a long term arrangement, or if going to live with his cool adult brother is a recent move Dave’s made in response to other circumstances. It would definitely explain how Bro isn’t used to sharing his space, and maybe how Dave has latched onto Bro as someone to emulate, if he’s lost other people in his life.

Dave ‘starting to flip the fuck out’ on p.465 really plays into this. It’s really unclear if Dave flipping the fuck out about puppets and then confessing it to his friends is a regular daily occurrence, or if it’s happening for the first time now after building up for weeks, months or years. We do find out Dave has nightmares about Cal and wakes up scared, possibly even with panic attacks, and this happening regularly in the daytime hours could explain why Dave pesters John so constantly.

While Dave’s been on the computer, Cal has swung his legs round to the other side of the speaker tower and is staring at Dave. I still think Bro is hiding somewhere and messing with Cal. Honestly, just from seeing Cal’s face up close on p.463 with his too-realistic eyes, I can understand why he haunts Dave’s nightmares. But if Bro is regularly stealth-moving Cal around the house like an evil elf on the shelf… even if it’s done as a joke, that sounds like a genuinely distressing way to live.

Back to Plush Rump, I guess. :/ We’ve got categories! Following ‘Gallery’ and ‘Live Video,’ the site caters to a variety of puppet subtypes. These definitely don’t represent all the types of puppetry out there – but maybe these are what make the big bucks in the Smuppets industry. I didn’t know all of these and some seem fairly niche, so here are the definitions.

Marionette – a puppet (often wooden) controlled with strings Bunraku – a form of traditional Japanese puppet theater Plush/Foam/Felt – all materials a soft puppet could be made from Marotte – a medieval rod controlled puppet, associated with jesters Senor Weñces – a Spanish ventriloquist who lived to be over 100 Chinface – using the human chin as a puppet, where the upside down real mouth becomes the puppet mouth Finger puppet – a very small puppet worn on one finger

So how ironic is this, really? Bro is clearly spending a lot of time and energy on this, it could be his main source of income, he knows a lot about the art of puppetry. So what level is he on? Is he actually genuine about the puppet stuff, and telling Dave it’s ironic because Dave is too young to know what’s really up? Was it originally ironic and then Bro accidentally committed way too hard to the bit and backdoored his way into becoming part of an actual puppet subculture? Is Bro cool and above it all this entire time, mistakenly thinking that all the puppet fans are also doing this ironically? Or is ‘being into Smuppets ironically’ actually a massive trend among hipsters in this world, and everyone’s doing it ironically?

To be clear. I think puppetry is a genuine art form. But I think it’s written in Homestuck to be intentionally unpleasant to think about, the webcomics equivalent of reblogging a post that causes psychic pain. And I think it is definitely accomplishing that.

In today’s much more pleasant update, we get Pesterlogs! Dave messages John (no reply), Dave messages Rose (we see their previous conversation from p.419), and Rose messages John (no reply). This brings Dave almost in sync with Rose and John in the timelines of their pages – he’s a couple minutes behind at most. My hope is that these three will fully sync up, and then GG will get introduced either slightly in the past, or slightly in the future.

I like when previous Pesterlogs get repeated and we see them again with new context from the other participant. Now we’ve seen the puppets and the websites, Dave processing his feelings about them feels more genuinely anguished. Rose claiming she ‘likes’ Bro’s websites takes on its own disturbing new tone, although I’d guess she just likes psychoanalyzing the mind behind those sites. But my favorite line is Rose saying she and Dave don’t have time to ‘evaluate each other's radically debilitating pathologies.’ It really paints a picture of their relationship – we’ve seen now that they both have pretty strange lives, share their homes with odd people, and maybe aren’t doing well because of it. I think the same is true for John, but Rose and Dave don’t see that from their perspectives. They do recognize this in each other, so they’re both the one person the other can be honest with about their mental state.

On p.471 Rose deploys the punch designix, and I am SO excited to see what this thing does, we are BACK and it is SBURB TIME. Rose moves the piano to place it, and it kind of looks like a piano, except with no keys and instead had a computer keyboard attached to it. It also has what looks like a slot on the upper left… perhaps even a slot for punch cards, to design them.

[blooksystem]

TODAY ON HEADSPACE HAVOK HOMESTUCK PESTERLOGS

[06:23] TT: Why do i get the feeling the gods are fighting?

[06:23] GT: because they are

[06:23] GT: well

[06:23] GT: not fighting per say?

[06:23] GT: They just--

[06:23] GT: GOT VERY CONFUSED

[06:23] TT: hey

[06:23] TT: valid?

[06:23] TT: this shit is always confusing

[06:24] TT: you climbing the ladder on your side?

[06:24] GT: Doing my best. A bit difficult without being pinged, but I'm managing!

[06:25] TT: Where you at?

[06:25] GT: :D

[06:25] TT: :D?

[06:27] GT: CANT SAY

[06:43] TT: whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[06:44] GT: because its illegal without being illegally legal

[06:45] TT: then it's not illigal within the iligality of the legally legal system.

[06:46] GT: ...

[06:46] GT: what?

[06:46] TT: ya know?

[06:47] GT: no-

[06:47] GT: No I don't know-

[06:47] TT: ok

[06:47] TT: so

[06:47] TT: you said it was illegal without being illegally legal

[06:47] TT: right?

[06:48] GT: Yes?

[06:48] TT: which means it's NOT illegal, within the ILIGALITY of the Legaly, legal system.

[06:48] TT: meaning you can tell me.

[06:48] GT: OH!

[06:48] GT: :D

[06:49] GT: :hmm:

[06:49] GT: CAN I tell you..

[06:49] GT: SHOULD i tell you

[06:50] TT: probably not.

[06:50] GT: Probably not

[06:51] GT: Just know?

[06:51] GT: I love you :D

[06:51] GT: Very much :D

[06:51] TT: which means that by the legality of the legal actions of non illigal iligality, you will probably tell me sometime in the future and then it will be illigal. so you should not tell me at any time. ok?

[06:52] GT: ...

[06:52] GT: p

[06:52] GT: o

[06:52] GT: okay?

[06:52] TT: :'>

[06:52] GT: I mean right now I'm on Prospit but my body-

[06:52] GT: I can't say

[06:52] TT: oh that i already knew.

[06:52] GT: Yuh

[06:54] TT: which means by the legal actions of the illigality of the fact you told me that youre on prospit, and your bodt is not that means i can legaly asume that you have illigally told me that your legal location is actually on the illigal planet that almost asuradly 100% illgaly took me out before the

[06:54] TT: illigal scratch that happened illigally.

[06:54] GT: DIRK MY TINY BRAIN CANT HANDLE THESE REACHAROUNDS

[06:54] GT: Also you are

[06:54] GT: INCORRECT

[06:56] TT: then you are illigally telling me that you have legaly told me that your illigal body is not on thye illigal planet that illigally killed my ass before the illigal stratch that we know dad with be illigally charged with possession of i;lligal timetables, and thrown in gay baby jail for said illigal

[06:56] TT: actions amid the illigal telling of an illigal iligality athat was originaly ilegaliy legal.

[06:57] GT: ...

[06:57] GT: yeeeessss???

[06:57] TT: o

[06:57] TT: ok

[06:57] GT: i

[06:57] GT: dirk

[06:57] GT: honey

[06:57] GT: sweetie

[06:57] GT: my love

[06:57] GT: my darling

[06:57] GT: the absolute

[06:57] GT: love of my live

[06:57] GT: life

[06:57] GT: are you high/

[06:57] TT: yeeeeeeees?

[06:57] TT: no.

[06:57] TT: actually

[06:57] GT: damn

[06:58] TT: maybe?

[06:58] TT: i dunno

[06:58] GT: Did you forget to wear your mask on LOTAK again?

[06:58] TT: ...

[06:58] TT: yeah

[06:58] TT: probably

[06:58] GT: Yeah youre high as balls dear.

[06:58] GT: (ゝ‿•)┏┏

[06:58] TT: that explains it then.

[06:58] TT: OH MY GOD.

[06:58] GT: DOUBLE PISTOLS AND A WINK

[not-even-drawn-ilitas-my-troll]

//could use the pesterlog formatter's export log function to make a whole ass website of incorrect quotes between em

//i just made a new fantroll. pollen jomalb, their quirk is no vowels

[fireandiceland]

America: Russia youre offending me

Canada: Russia you're offending America

Russia: FUCK AMERICA

America: ouch

America: that was offensive

China: NOW IM OFFENDED TOO

[2-many-ideas-help]

WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME THIS POWER????

[incorrect-pesterlogs]

AA: his swagless l00ks and cringe fail pers0nality have captivated me

[homestunked]

meteorstuck incorrect quote

jade and john just showed the wizard of oz to karkat and he decides to have an entire fit (original video)

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] -- CG: HOLD ON CG: HOLD ON TG: your face is so red CG: HOLD ON. CG: HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? CG: AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS. THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST BRO TG: im gonna stab him CG: YOURE GONNA TO LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT IM WRONG? CG: AM I WRONG? TG: its jades favorite movie CG: SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, DOG TG: im not fighting with you CG: GROW UP TG: im not fighting with you CG: GROW UP TG: get educated bud

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

turntechGodhead: yo rose you wanna talk about naruto?

tentacleTherapist: no

turntechGodhead: ok cool

turntechGodhead started a call that lasted nine hours

[homecuck]

[homestuckreplay]

Refusing To Give Dave Strider The Jester’s Privilege

(page 443-455; general discussion of character parallels)

8/7/2009 Wheel Spin: Long Pesterlog Verdict: INCORRECT (1 page too late….)

8/9/2009 Wheel Spin: Captchalogue Lore Verdict: ABSOLUTELY NOT. PUPPET LORE ONLY

In this page spread, we see the ‘Dave equivalent’ of two things that have already happened with John and Rose. The first is the meditation on the weather, the day, and the general mood that’s accompanied by a misattributed quote and animation of a character gazing at the sky. The second is the character exploring their house and reacting to their family member’s interests, with one eye open for that family member, who could appear at any moment.

Both of these play out differently with Dave than they did with John and Rose, twisting the pattern now that it’s established. And I have to say, I don’t find p.444 (Dave) as effective as p.307 (Rose) or p.82 (John). The animation is good - not quite as cool as the cinematic opening of the clouds in Rose’s page, but I like how it shows us Dave isn’t just dealing with regular heat, there’s apocalyptic fire dripping down from the sky, and how it shows us Dave’s home in its local context. I also like the metaphor of the hot needle ‘hot needle skipping on a groove its tracing 'round the earth,’ and the world as a turntable, referencing Dave’s instrument the way the other pages do with theirs.

What I like less is the ‘izzle’ suffixes and the deployment of Snoop Dogg lyrics as the misattributed quote. Again, this is a white author and character referencing Black rap culture in a way that’s not overtly racist, but feels like it’s used here as a joke. John and Rose’s misattributed quotes were reflective and relevant to their situations, while Dave’s is just lyrics from a popular song (a song where the lyrics are probably not the main form of artistry). There are plenty of thoughtful Snoop Dogg quotes that could have been used here, bud it feels like this slang and these lyrics are used as a counterpoint to the more serious tone of the other pages, which doesn’t say great things about Hussie’s overall opinion of Black culture.

I think I understand the intended effect here - Dave’s mind is wandering, descending into first his own raps and then someone else’s. He’s not one to linger in the malaise like John and Rose are, he’s leaning on his ‘ironic rapper’ persona even inside his own head, and his personality is refracted out into the meta layers of the story. I get that. But this page still positions Dave as a comic relief character who isn’t allowed to have a serious moment, and it’s hard for me to take him seriously as a character if the narrator won’t either. As we’re still in act 2, this page doesn’t reference an act title like John’s and Rose’s did, which also makes Dave feel like a secondary character even if that’s not the intention. 

Dave’s brother lives in the living room - he sleeps on a futon and has his whole computer and gaming setup out there. Whether or not they have parents around, Dave’s brother is the family member who controls the communal space, keeping Dave confined to his room. Dave is wary of using the Xbox, showing that he’s not allowed to use equipment in what should be a shared space. His brother might not have the parental authority over him that John’s dad and Rose’s mom do, but he has authority over the space (and by extension, Dave’s ability to leave the house), which contributes to Dave appearing just as isolated as John and Rose. The way his tower stretches above everyone else’s in the city, meaning Dave can’t even wave to a neighbor through a window, is a great visual for this.

The sequence of Dave interacting with and commenting on the different puppets around his house is really effective - these pages allow Dave to be different from John and Rose without making him less of a character. John and Rose don’t really distinguish between the various harlequins and wizards around their houses, but Dave knows these puppets - often by name - along with some of the stories behind them. He’s also careful and respectful when he moves them around, treating them almost like members of the family, while John and Rose have no issue damaging the equivalents in their own houses.

Dave’s feelings about the specific puppets are variable - he seems to like puppets with clothes and defined personas better than nameless nude puppets. He finds it easier to see the many layers of irony ostensibly surrounding pop culture figures like Mr. T and Chuck Norris, justifying an interest in them, but seems more off put by the ‘weird nude puppets’ perhaps because he can’t justify why his brother likes them. Lil Cal is the most interesting of all - he appears from nowhere between p.450 and 451, and Dave worries about him like he’s an actual person (‘man you hope the little guy's alright’). 

We know objects can appear from nowhere if they’re taken out of a sylladex, and we know Dave’s brother uses Cal as a ventriloquism doll. Sylladex + ventriloquism could easily mimic magic, so I think Dave’s brother is hiding somewhere close by, using sylladex tricks to play with Cal and waiting to catch Dave in the act of using his Xbox and computer.

And finally, we get some gameplay for (presumably) Grand Snack Fuckyeah, discussed on Dave’s blog (p.325). I am delighted to learn that this game involves collecting Doritos the same way you’d collect coins in Mario. This game was absolutely invented for college stoners. Sadly, there’s no answer yet to Dave’s burning question of whether popular beverages will play a role, which is a shame because Mtn Dew Baja Blast would fit right in here.

[choctalksalot]

the pesterwhat formatter???

oh good i get to freak out about this to someone

the pesterlog formatter is a silly little site i found one day that helps you format pesterlogs!! it's got the fonts and colours, pre-programmed typing quirks that you can toggle on and off (so you don't need to worry so much about the quirks and just shtuff in all your brainpower into getting the character voices Right), and even a character editor that allows you to edit said quirks or custom make your own!!

the character editor borrows stuff from javascript, so it's a little difficult to use if you don't know it. but the help box has all the essential info for navigation (even if it's a Heavy box of text. seriously read it. it's very helpful)

and if all else fails, you can open the edit windows for some characters and cross refer until you understand how they work. that's what i did and i programmed like 8 characters in yell heah

it also lets you import or export pre-written logs, so if you want you can just type up a thing, copypaste it into the import box, and it'll apply typing quirks for you!! and its export function has multiple kinds one where it can autocode it into formats that makes it maintain its colours in ao3 and other sites!!! it's so cool

also ultimate incorrect quotes maker (below: shit from me and my friends that i plugged into it)

it's got a liiiittle bit of iffiness, like sometimes the text glitches out if you enter and exit it too many times and applies the typing quirk twice. sometimes the text only formats correctly on mobile if you turn your phone wideways. and of course, some quirks (meenah and fef's fish puns, roxy's inebriated misspellings) can only be manually punched in. but they do their best to cover the bases!! and it's been such a huge help to me, i recommend it despite the flaws [:

[the-condesce-did-nothing-wrong]

Been using Pesterlog formatter for incorrect quotes.