#instead of fighting through burnout

[aeth-eris]

★ the rising signs & their enemies: 6th house, 8th house, 12th house, 7th house ★

the 6th house enemy (the relentless taskmaster) forces them into exhausting routines, health struggles, and responsibilities they resist.

the 8th house enemy (the shadow) drags them through power struggles, loss, and emotional transformations they fear.

the 12th house enemy (the hidden saboteur) lurks in their subconscious, whispering fears, doubts, and self-destructive urges.

the 7th house enemy (the mirror) appears as challenging relationships, adversaries, and karmic partners who expose their weaknesses.

★ aries rising : the critic, the manipulator, the phantom, the diplomat ★

the critic (6th house, virgo) forces them to pay attention to detail, refine their skills, and practice patience—three things aries finds unbearable.

the manipulator (8th house, scorpio) drags them into power struggles, intense emotional wounds, and betrayals that shake their trust in others.

the phantom (12th house, pisces) is a hidden force whispering fears of failure and clouding their instincts with self-doubt.

the diplomat (7th house, libra) appears in relationships that demand compromise, balance, and emotional maturity—things aries struggles to embrace.

★ the critic (6th house, virgo) ★

how it attacks:

aries rising thrives on spontaneity and speed, but virgo in the 6th house forces them into a world of rules, precision, and detail-oriented work. the critic appears as demanding bosses, relentless deadlines, and never-ending to-do lists. work environments feel suffocatingly structured, full of picky supervisors and coworkers who obsess over minor details. aries wants to charge ahead, but the critic forces them to slow down and follow proper procedures.

how aries self-sabotages:

they rush through work to escape boredom, but end up making careless mistakes that cost them more time. they resist structured routines, leading to chaotic, unproductive cycles of burnout and recovery. their health suffers because they ignore their body’s warning signs, pushing themselves to exhaustion rather than pacing themselves. the more they resist patience and discipline, the more the critic tightens its grip.

how to defeat it:

aries must learn that working smarter is better than working harder. they can use their energy more effectively if they accept the power of structure and preparation. instead of seeing routine as a cage, they must learn to use it as a weapon.

★ the manipulator (8th house, scorpio) ★

how it attacks:

scorpio in the 8th house drags aries rising into power struggles, toxic relationships, and situations that demand emotional endurance. the manipulator appears as controlling lovers, financial traps, or betrayals that leave lasting wounds. aries prefers quick fights with clear winners, but the manipulator plays the long game, slowly pulling them into webs of emotional intensity and secrecy. they may find themselves deeply entangled in affairs, debts, or psychological battles they can’t easily escape from.

how aries self-sabotages:

they jump into commitments too quickly, thinking they can control the situation, only to realize they’ve given away their power. they ignore their own emotional wounds, but the manipulator forces them to face their fears of dependence and vulnerability. when they feel trapped, they lash out aggressively, only for scorpio energy to strike back ten times harder.

how to defeat it:

aries must learn that true strength includes emotional intelligence. instead of fighting against transformation, they must embrace it and become strategic rather than reactive. the manipulator cannot control aries if aries masters their own depth and intensity first.

★ the phantom (12th house, pisces) ★

how it attacks:

pisces in the 12th house makes aries rising doubt their own instincts, leading to uncertainty, procrastination, and emotional exhaustion. the phantom isn’t a direct enemy—it lurks in the background, making aries feel lost and disconnected from their usual confidence. it appears in moments of burnout, whispering, “what if you’re not as strong as you think?” aries thrives on clarity and action, but the phantom clouds their judgment, making them feel like they are fighting an invisible battle.

how aries self-sabotages:

they avoid deep emotions, fearing that slowing down means losing their edge. they distract themselves with reckless behavior, trying to escape feelings they don’t want to acknowledge. their impulsivity leads them to make quick decisions that come back to haunt them.

how to defeat it:

aries must learn that facing their emotions doesn’t make them weak. if they stop running from their subconscious fears, they can conquer self-doubt and make peace with the unknown. stillness isn’t failure—it’s a different kind of power.

★ the diplomat (7th house, libra) ★

how it attacks:

libra in the 7th house makes relationships feel like a battlefield of compromise and indecision. the diplomat appears as partners who challenge aries’ need for control, forcing them to slow down and consider others. aries prefers taking the lead, but libra energy demands fairness, patience, and balance. they may attract passive-aggressive partners, people who make them question their choices, or relationships that feel like constant negotiations.

how aries self-sabotages:

they push people away before they can get hurt, creating a cycle of short, intense relationships that never last. they see compromise as a weakness, leading to conflicts that could be avoided. they mistake calmness for boredom, gravitating toward passionate but toxic relationships.

how to defeat it:

aries must understand that true leadership includes knowing when to listen and adapt. instead of seeing compromise as losing, they need to see it as a skill that makes them stronger in the long run. the diplomat teaches them that not every fight is worth winning—sometimes, peace is the real victory.

★ taurus rising: the indecisive, the wildfire, the instigator, the seducer ★

the indecisive (6th house, libra) disrupts their routine, forcing them into social politics, unclear expectations, and frustrating indecision.

the wildfire (8th house, sagittarius) drags them into chaotic transformations, financial instability, and unpredictable emotional upheavals.

the instigator (12th house, aries) lurks in their subconscious, feeding them impulsive urges and self-sabotaging desires that conflict with their need for peace.

the seducer (7th house, scorpio) appears in intense, consuming relationships that demand vulnerability, trust, and transformation—things taurus resists at all costs.

★ the indecisive (6th house, libra) ★

how it attacks:

taurus rising thrives on consistency, structure, and predictability. but libra in the 6th house makes their daily life feel unbalanced, full of constant adjustments and unspoken expectations. the indecisive appears as fluctuating work environments, bosses who can’t make up their minds, and obligations that require constant social maneuvering. instead of a clear, stable routine, their work life is full of compromise, diplomacy, and trying to keep everyone happy. this drains taurus, who just wants things to be simple and efficient.

how taurus self-sabotages:

they overextend themselves trying to create harmony, taking on more than they should in order to keep the peace. they delay decisions out of fear of disrupting balance, leading to missed opportunities and built-up frustration. they struggle with health routines, often neglecting their needs in favor of pleasing others or maintaining external appearances.

★ the wildfire (8th house, sagittarius) ★

how to defeat it:

taurus must learn that their well-being comes first. if they stop worrying about external harmony and focus on creating stability for themselves, they will gain true control. learning to make firm decisions and set boundaries will weaken the indecisive’s grip.

how it attacks:

sagittarius in the 8th house forces taurus into chaotic, unpredictable life changes that destroy their sense of control. the wildfire appears as sudden financial upheavals, unexpected breakups, or major life shifts that happen with little warning. taurus seeks security and careful planning, but this enemy forces them into situations where nothing is guaranteed. it teaches them that the only constant in life is change, a lesson they desperately resist.

how taurus self-sabotages:

they cling to stability so tightly that when change inevitably comes, it feels like a disaster rather than a transformation. they resist new opportunities out of fear of risk, missing out on growth and expansion. they may stay in stagnant relationships or jobs long past their expiration date, choosing comfort over evolution.

★ the instigator (12th house, aries) ★

how to defeat it:

taurus must learn to see change as a gateway rather than a threat. if they embrace adaptability and allow themselves to take calculated risks, they will harness the wildfire’s power instead of being burned by it.

how it attacks:

aries in the 12th house creates a hidden, internal battle between taurus’ need for stability and a subconscious craving for reckless action. the instigator lurks deep in their mind, whispering, "burn it all down. shake things up. do something wild." they may suppress anger, frustration, and impulsive desires, only for them to explode in destructive ways when least expected. this enemy thrives on pent-up rage and frustration, creating a cycle of bottling things up, only to act out in self-destructive ways.

how taurus self-sabotages:

they suppress their emotions, pretending everything is fine until they snap and make impulsive, out-of-character decisions. they lash out at loved ones unexpectedly, then feel guilty and retreat further into denial. they may sabotage themselves by avoiding conflict until it becomes an unavoidable disaster.

★ the seducer (7th house, scorpio) ★

how to defeat it:

taurus must acknowledge their hidden anger and suppressed desires. if they express frustration in healthy ways rather than letting it fester, they will prevent the instigator from causing sudden, reckless destruction. recognizing that some risks are necessary will also help them avoid self-sabotaging stagnation.

how it attacks:

scorpio in the 7th house brings taurus into intense, consuming relationships that demand emotional depth and transformation. the seducer appears as partners who are magnetic, mysterious, and emotionally overpowering. they attract lovers who force them to let go of control, exposing their deepest fears and insecurities. relationships feel like life-or-death experiences, pulling them into passion, jealousy, and emotional power struggles they don’t know how to handle. taurus wants stability, but scorpio partners make love feel dangerous and uncontrollable.

how taurus self-sabotages:

they fear emotional vulnerability, so they may shut down or distance themselves from relationships that get too intense. they hold onto people they should release, fearing that letting go means losing control. they may attract possessive, obsessive partners, or they themselves become secretly possessive, refusing to trust fully out of fear of betrayal.

how to defeat it:

taurus must learn that true emotional security comes from trust, not control. if they allow themselves to experience deep love without fearing destruction, they will master the seducer’s power rather than being consumed by it. learning to release relationships that no longer serve them will also free them from toxic emotional cycles.

★ gemini rising: the strategist, the tyrant, the prison guard, the preacher ★

the strategist (6th house, scorpio) places them in work environments full of power struggles, secrecy, and intense expectations that drain their energy.

the tyrant (8th house, capricorn) drags them into slow, grueling financial and emotional transformations that test their patience.

the prison guard (12th house, taurus) keeps them trapped in comfort zones, making them fear commitment, security, and stillness.

the preacher (7th house, sagittarius) appears as partners who challenge their beliefs, freedom, and ability to keep relationships light and casual.

★ the strategist (6th house, scorpio) ★

how it attacks:

gemini rising thrives in fast-paced, lighthearted work environments, but scorpio in the 6th house places them in high-pressure jobs, intense coworker dynamics, and workplaces full of secrecy and manipulation. the strategist appears as bosses who micromanage, colleagues who withhold information, and work projects that demand deep focus and long-term dedication. gemini prefers multitasking and variety, but the strategist forces them to dig deep and fully commit to one thing at a time. work becomes mentally and emotionally draining, filled with hidden agendas and power plays they weren’t prepared for.

how gemini self-sabotages:

they avoid dealing with workplace tension, choosing to play along rather than confront problems head-on. they struggle with maintaining focus, leading to unfinished tasks or wasted potential. they burn out because they don’t pace themselves, overloading their mind with too much information, too fast. they may leave jobs abruptly when things get too intense, but this enemy follows them into every workplace until they learn to handle high-stakes situations with strategy rather than avoidance.

★ the tyrant (8th house, capricorn)★

how to defeat it:

gemini must develop emotional intelligence in professional settings. they need to recognize when they’re being manipulated, set boundaries with draining coworkers, and commit to mastering a skill instead of bouncing between interests. if they can channel their adaptability into resilience, the strategist will lose its power.

how it attacks:

capricorn in the 8th house forces gemini rising into slow, painstaking transformations that demand endurance and responsibility. the tyrant appears as financial debt that takes years to pay off, emotional baggage that refuses to be ignored, and long-term commitments they can’t escape from. gemini wants quick solutions, but this enemy ensures that growth comes at a painfully slow pace. they may feel trapped in difficult family obligations, controlling relationships, or legal struggles that demand structure and discipline.

how gemini self-sabotages:

they avoid long-term financial planning, leading to money struggles that haunt them for years. they enter deep emotional connections without preparing for the responsibilities that come with them. when things feel too heavy, they run, only to find themselves stuck in the same cycles later on. the tyrant wins when gemini refuses to commit to their own long-term success.

★ the prison guard (12th house, taurus) ★

how to defeat it:

gemini must learn to take control of their financial and emotional future. if they develop patience, structure, and discipline, they can turn the tyrant into an ally rather than an oppressor.

how it attacks:

taurus in the 12th house makes gemini rising fear being trapped in a life of stillness and predictability. the prison guard appears as comfort zones they can’t break out of, routines that lull them into complacency, and an inability to fully commit to something out of fear of losing their freedom. gemini craves mental stimulation and new experiences, but deep down, they fear stability. this enemy makes them feel restless, unsatisfied, and always searching for something better, even when they already have what they need.

how gemini self-sabotages:

they jump from one thing to the next, thinking the next opportunity, relationship, or project will be the one that finally makes them happy. they avoid long-term commitments, fearing they will lose their sense of self. they stay in situations that are “good enough” rather than taking action to create something truly fulfilling.

★ the preacher (7th house, sagittarius) ★

how to defeat it:

gemini must understand that true freedom comes from within, not from constant external movement. if they embrace a sense of inner security, they will stop running in circles and start creating real stability on their own terms.

how it attacks:

sagittarius in the 7th house brings gemini rising partners who are larger than life, intensely opinionated, and constantly challenging their beliefs. the preacher appears as romantic and business partners who demand that gemini commit to something bigger than themselves, even when they aren’t ready. these relationships push them toward philosophical growth, travel, and long-term visions that require full investment. gemini prefers casual, adaptable partnerships, but the preacher forces them to step up, engage in serious discussions, and face uncomfortable truths about themselves.

how gemini self-sabotages:

they attract partners who force them to commit, but they hesitate, afraid of losing their freedom. they fall into hot-and-cold relationships, bouncing between intense passion and restless boredom. they avoid deep discussions, but the preacher always brings them back, making them face difficult conversations they’d rather escape from.

how to defeat it:

gemini must learn to embrace the idea that deep relationships don’t have to limit them—they can expand their world instead. if they commit without fear, they will gain something much more valuable than surface-level connections.

★ cancer rising: the wanderer, the machine, the chameleon, the fortress ★

the wanderer (6th house, sagittarius) disrupts their sense of routine, forcing them into chaotic work environments, health struggles tied to stress, and unpredictable daily life.

the machine (8th house, aquarius) drags them into cold, impersonal emotional transformations, sudden losses, and crises they cannot emotionally process in real-time.

the chameleon (12th house, gemini) lurks in their subconscious, making them doubt their own emotions and get lost in mental spirals that detach them from their intuition.

the fortress (7th house, capricorn) appears in relationships that feel more like contracts than love, forcing cancer to prove themselves and work for emotional connection rather than receiving it naturally.

★ the wanderer (6th house, sagittarius) ★

how it attacks:

cancer rising finds comfort in stable routines and environments, but sagittarius in the 6th house brings constant change and unpredictability. the wanderer appears as unstable jobs, overwhelming responsibilities, and schedules that never seem to stay the same. cancer wants structure, but this enemy forces them into high-energy, ever-changing work environments that demand constant adaptation. they struggle with balancing personal and professional life, often feeling like their work obligations pull them away from home and emotional security. their health also suffers due to stress, irregular sleep, and emotional eating.

how cancer self-sabotages:

they try to create strict routines to regain control, but life continues to disrupt them, leading to frustration and burnout. they may stay in unfulfilling jobs out of fear of instability, but deep down, they crave freedom from overwhelming responsibilities. they avoid necessary changes because they resent unpredictability, but this only makes them feel trapped in situations they secretly want to escape from.

★ the machine (8th house, aquarius) ★

how to defeat it:

cancer must learn that flexibility does not equal instability. if they embrace change with an open heart, they can create a sense of emotional stability within themselves rather than relying on external factors. the wanderer loses its power when cancer rising accepts movement as part of life instead of resisting it.

how it attacks:

aquarius in the 8th house forces cancer rising into impersonal, unpredictable emotional transformations. the machine appears as sudden losses, betrayals that come out of nowhere, and situations that demand complete emotional detachment. cancer wants depth and connection, but this enemy forces them into cold, distant transformations where emotions are ignored or dismissed. instead of the slow, meaningful healing they need, they are thrown into sudden, shocking changes that feel like they have no control over them.

how cancer self-sabotages:

they cling to past emotional wounds, refusing to accept sudden changes. they become too emotionally attached to situations or people who have already moved on, making it harder for them to heal. they suppress their grief and emotions in an attempt to move forward logically, but this only creates a deep sense of emptiness. the machine wins when cancer rising refuses to embrace emotional change and instead becomes frozen in time, unable to move forward.

★ the chameleon (12th house, gemini) ★

how to defeat it:

cancer must learn that not all changes need to be personal. sometimes, life moves quickly, and not every loss is a betrayal. if they can separate their emotions from external situations and allow themselves to process grief without attachment, the machine loses its power.

how it attacks:

gemini in the 12th house creates a constant inner dialogue that questions cancer’s emotions and instincts. the chameleon appears as racing thoughts, self-doubt, and a subconscious fear of never truly understanding themselves. cancer is deeply intuitive, but this enemy makes them overanalyze everything, causing them to detach from their emotions and question their feelings instead of trusting them. it manifests as sleepless nights, endless mental loops, and a deep fear that they are making the wrong decisions based on emotions rather than logic.

how cancer self-sabotages:

they suppress their intuition, trying to rationalize everything instead of feeling it. they get caught in toxic thought patterns, overanalyzing relationships, decisions, and emotions to the point where they lose sight of what they actually want. they struggle with expressing their deepest fears, often talking about surface-level concerns rather than addressing the real, painful emotions underneath.

★ the fortress (7th house, capricorn) ★

how to defeat it:

cancer must learn to trust their emotions instead of overthinking them. if they allow themselves to feel without explanation, they will reconnect with their inner world. the chameleon loses its power when cancer realizes that not every thought needs to be analyzed—some things are meant to be felt, not explained.

how it attacks:

capricorn in the 7th house makes cancer rising feel like love is a responsibility rather than a source of comfort. the fortress appears as partners who are emotionally unavailable, distant, or overly focused on practical matters instead of intimacy. cancer wants nurturing relationships, but they often attract serious, work-oriented partners who struggle with emotional vulnerability. they feel like they must earn love through effort rather than simply being loved for who they are.

how cancer self-sabotages:

they overcompensate in relationships, trying to prove their worth by giving too much. they stay in emotionally distant relationships for too long, believing that if they just work harder, they’ll finally be loved the way they need. they mistake stability for love, sometimes choosing partners who provide security but lack emotional connection.

how to defeat it:

cancer must learn that love isn’t something they have to earn—it’s something they deserve unconditionally. if they stop seeking validation from emotionally unavailable partners and instead find those who nurture them in return, the fortress crumbles.

★ leo rising: the overseer, the abyss, the phantom king, the outcast ★

the overseer (6th house, capricorn) places them in structured, high-pressure work environments where their freedom and creativity feel suffocated.

the abyss (8th house, pisces) drags them into murky emotional depths, forcing them to deal with loss, betrayal, and subconscious fears they’d rather ignore.

the phantom king (12th house, cancer) lurks in their subconscious, making them fear irrelevance, abandonment, and losing the admiration they thrive on.

the outcast (7th house, aquarius) appears in relationships that challenge their need for attention and admiration, making them feel overlooked or disconnected from their partners.

★ the overseer (6th house, capricorn) ★

how it attacks:

leo rising thrives on passion and creative expression, but capricorn in the 6th house forces them into structured, demanding work environments with little room for individuality. the overseer appears as bosses who expect perfection, high-pressure job expectations, and relentless responsibilities that drain their energy. instead of being recognized for their natural leadership, they are forced to prove themselves over and over again through discipline and hard work. their daily routine becomes rigid and exhausting, making them feel like they are losing their personal freedom in the pursuit of success.

how leo self-sabotages:

they resist structured routines, leading to chaotic schedules that leave them overwhelmed. they rebel against authority, refusing to follow rules that they see as beneath them, which can lead to career instability or professional conflicts. they take on too much responsibility, feeling like they have to do everything themselves to prove their worth. this enemy wins when leo rising tries to fight structure instead of learning how to use it to their advantage.

★ the abyss (8th house, pisces) ★

how to defeat it:

leo must realize that discipline and structure do not limit their creativity—they refine it. if they learn to balance responsibility with self-expression, the overseer loses its control.

how it attacks:

pisces in the 8th house forces leo rising into deep emotional crises where nothing is clear or predictable. the abyss appears as betrayals that come out of nowhere, financial instability, and emotional wounds that refuse to heal in a straight line. leo rising prefers clarity and control, but this enemy clouds their judgment, making them feel lost in emotional confusion. they may struggle with being deceived by those they trust, feeling like the rug has been pulled out from under them without explanation. their relationships and financial security often feel uncertain and unstable, making them fearful of the unknown.

how leo self-sabotages:

they cling to illusions, refusing to see the truth in situations where they have been deceived. they distract themselves with external validation, avoiding processing their emotional pain in a healthy way. they rush into financial or emotional commitments without considering the risks, only to feel trapped when things don’t go as expected. the abyss wins when leo refuses to acknowledge their emotional wounds and instead hides behind their pride.

★ the phantom king (12th house, cancer) ★

how to defeat it:

leo must learn that true strength comes from vulnerability, not avoidance. if they face their emotional pain with honesty and allow themselves to heal, the abyss loses its hold.

how it attacks:

cancer in the 12th house creates a hidden fear of losing relevance and being abandoned by those they love. the phantom king whispers, “what if they stop caring about you? what if no one sees you anymore?” leo rising thrives on recognition and connection, but this enemy makes them fear losing their place in people’s lives. they may struggle with hidden insecurities about being replaceable, leading to subconscious self-sabotage in relationships and career moves. this enemy appears in moments of loneliness, nostalgia for the past, and fears of fading into the background when they aren’t actively in the spotlight.

how leo self-sabotages:

they overcompensate by demanding attention, fearing that if they aren’t constantly visible, they will be forgotten. they hold onto relationships that have run their course, terrified of losing emotional connections that once defined them. they hide their own emotional needs, pretending to be strong and unbothered while secretly fearing rejection. the phantom king wins when leo rising lets their fear of irrelevance control their actions.

★ the outcast (7th house, aquarius) ★

how to defeat it:

leo must realize that their worth is not tied to external validation. if they build a strong inner foundation and embrace self-love without needing constant recognition, the phantom king fades away.

how it attacks:

aquarius in the 7th house attracts partners who are independent, unpredictable, and emotionally distant. the outcast appears as lovers who resist deep emotional connection, friendships that feel distant, and business partners who prioritize logic over feelings. leo rising wants passion and devotion, but this enemy places them in relationships that feel cool, detached, and sometimes outright indifferent. they may feel like they are giving their all to people who never fully reciprocate their energy.

how leo self-sabotages:

they attract partners who challenge their need for admiration, feeling frustrated when their efforts go unnoticed. they mistake freedom for rejection, struggling with trusting that love doesn’t have to be constant validation. they push people away when they feel unappreciated, rather than allowing relationships to breathe and grow organically. the outcast wins when leo rising seeks constant affirmation instead of building secure, balanced relationships.

how to defeat it:

leo must understand that love is not about possession or constant reassurance—it’s about trust and mutual respect. if they allow themselves to experience relationships without needing control, the outcast loses its power.

★ virgo rising: the fool, the destroyer, the ghost, the trickster ★

the fool (6th house, aquarius) disrupts their carefully structured routines, throwing them into unpredictable work environments and health struggles that defy logic.

the destroyer (8th house, aries) drags them into sudden, painful transformations that strip them of control and force them into crisis mode without warning.

the ghost (12th house, leo) lurks in their subconscious, whispering fears of being invisible, unappreciated, and never truly recognized for their efforts.

the trickster (7th house, pisces) appears in relationships that deceive, confuse, and challenge virgo’s desire for certainty and clarity in love.

★ the fool (6th house, aquarius) ★

how it attacks:

virgo rising craves efficiency, order, and structured routines, but aquarius in the 6th house brings constant change, unconventional work settings, and unpredictable health patterns. the fool appears as disruptive coworkers, unstructured job environments, and sudden shifts that force them to adapt when they’d rather plan ahead. workplaces feel disorganized, full of eccentric personalities who don’t follow the rules. instead of a reliable schedule, their daily life is full of interruptions, last-minute changes, and unexpected complications. their health may also be affected by nervous energy, sudden stressors, or erratic habits they can’t control.

how virgo self-sabotages:

they cling too tightly to routine, panicking when things don’t go as planned. they try to fix chaos with logic, but the fool doesn’t play by their rules. they struggle with overthinking and micromanaging, exhausting themselves in an attempt to control what can’t be controlled. the more they resist embracing spontaneity, the more the fool tightens its grip.

★ the destroyer (8th house, aries) ★

how to defeat it:

virgo must learn that not everything needs a strict plan. if they embrace adaptability and trust themselves to handle the unknown, the fool loses its power. finding balance between logic and flexibility will allow them to navigate chaotic situations with confidence.

how it attacks:

aries in the 8th house forces virgo rising into intense, fast-moving crises that demand immediate action and emotional endurance. the destroyer appears as sudden losses, financial upheavals, and deep betrayals that happen without warning. virgo rising prefers carefully planned transformations, but this enemy rips control from their hands, forcing them into high-pressure situations where they must act fast. this enemy thrives on pushing them to their emotional and financial limits, demanding resilience without preparation.

how virgo self-sabotages:

they overanalyze rather than act, trying to delay crisis instead of adapting quickly. they suppress anger and emotional intensity, but the destroyer forces them to confront raw, unfiltered emotions head-on. they struggle with letting go, resisting transformation until it happens by force. the more they try to control the uncontrollable, the harder the destroyer strikes.

how to defeat it:

virgo must learn that not all change can be planned—some must be faced head-on. if they accept that destruction is sometimes necessary for rebirth, they can turn moments of crisis into opportunities for renewal. the destroyer loses its grip when they trust their instincts rather than fear them.

★ the ghost (12th house, leo) ★

how it attacks:

leo in the 12th house creates a hidden fear of invisibility, unrecognized effort, and being overshadowed by others. the ghost appears in moments of self-doubt, whispering that no matter how hard virgo rising works, they will never receive the recognition they deserve. they thrive on being useful and competent, but this enemy makes them feel unseen, unappreciated, or constantly second to someone else. they may struggle with feeling overlooked in their personal and professional life, believing that their worth is only as strong as their ability to serve others.

how virgo self-sabotages:

they work tirelessly to prove themselves, but never feel fully satisfied with external validation. they suppress their own creative desires, prioritizing helping others over their own self-expression. they fear taking up too much space, often downplaying their achievements instead of owning their success. the ghost wins when virgo rising lets self-doubt keep them in the background instead of stepping into their own spotlight.

★ the trickster (7th house, pisces) ★

how to defeat it:

virgo must realize that they are not just valuable because of what they do for others—they are valuable simply for who they are. if they allow themselves to take pride in their talents and step forward with confidence, the ghost fades away.

how it attacks:

pisces in the 7th house makes relationships unclear, unpredictable, and often filled with illusions. the trickster appears as partners who are hard to pin down, emotionally elusive, or dishonest in ways that are hard to detect at first. virgo rising wants practical, straightforward partnerships, but this enemy attracts romantic and business relationships where nothing is as it seems. they may fall for people who manipulate with charm, promise stability but never deliver, or disappear when things get serious. love feels like a constant puzzle, full of missing pieces that virgo rising desperately tries to solve.

how virgo self-sabotages:

they overanalyze relationships, trying to find logic in emotions that can’t be rationalized. they seek perfection in partners, only to feel disillusioned when reality doesn’t match their expectations. they ignore red flags, assuming they can fix or help the people they love, but the trickster thrives on false hope and illusions.

how to defeat it:

virgo must learn that love is not a problem to be solved—it is an experience to be felt. if they stop seeking certainty and instead embrace emotional flow, the trickster loses its ability to deceive. trusting intuition over logic in relationships will allow them to see through illusions and avoid unnecessary heartache.

★ libra rising: the workhorse, the storm, the doppelgänger, the challenger ★

the tide (6th house, pisces) pulls them into waves of emotional and professional overwhelm, blurring the line between responsibility and sacrifice.

the sandstorm (8th house, taurus) buries them in slow-moving but unavoidable emotional and financial transformations that challenge their patience and comfort zones.

the masquerade (12th house, virgo) lurks in their subconscious, whispering self-doubt and perfectionism, making them feel like they must constantly refine themselves to be worthy of love and success.

the warrior (7th house, aries) appears in relationships that demand courage, independence, and confrontation—things libra rising instinctively avoids in order to keep the peace.

★ the tide (6th house, pisces) ★

how it attacks:

libra rising craves clear responsibilities and work-life balance, but pisces in the 6th house brings fluidity, uncertainty, and obligations that drain them emotionally rather than just physically. the tide appears as jobs that expect too much, coworkers who overshare personal struggles, and unclear boundaries between professional and emotional labor. libra rising often finds themselves absorbing the stress of their environment, feeling responsible for fixing problems they didn’t cause. their work feels like an ocean of shifting expectations, where they must constantly adjust without clear guidance. their health also suffers from stress, exhaustion, and difficulty maintaining routines due to external demands.

how libra self-sabotages:

they say yes too often, believing that if they help enough people, everything will fall into place. they struggle with setting boundaries, fearing that asserting their needs will make them appear selfish or unkind. they avoid structure, thinking that rigid schedules restrict their freedom, only to become overwhelmed when they lack direction. the tide wins when libra rising lets themselves be carried away by responsibilities they never truly wanted to take on in the first place.

★ the sandstorm (8th house, taurus) ★

how to defeat it:

libra must learn that helping others does not mean drowning in their problems. if they establish firm boundaries and create routines that prioritize their well-being, the tide loses its grip. learning to say “no” without guilt will allow them to regain their own sense of flow without being swept away.

how it attacks:

taurus in the 8th house forces libra rising into slow, heavy transformations that cannot be rushed or avoided. the sandstorm appears as financial burdens that take years to resolve, emotionally draining relationships that linger, and personal evolutions that feel like walking through endless resistance. unlike the quick, adaptable change libra prefers, this enemy demands endurance and patience, refusing to let them move on until they fully face what needs to be transformed.

how libra self-sabotages:

they cling to comfort even when it no longer serves them, fearing that leaving stability behind means making an irreversible mistake. they avoid difficult emotional conversations, thinking that if they pretend everything is fine, it will eventually resolve itself. they struggle with letting go, often holding onto people, financial obligations, or emotional burdens long past their expiration date. the sandstorm wins when libra rising remains stuck in cycles of avoidance, letting change happen to them instead of actively participating in their own transformation.

★ the masquerade (12th house, virgo) ★

how to defeat it:

libra must accept that not all change can be controlled, and some things require endurance rather than avoidance. if they face their financial and emotional struggles with patience rather than trying to rush to the finish line, the sandstorm loses its grip.

how it attacks:

virgo in the 12th house creates a hidden voice of self-criticism that constantly questions libra rising’s decisions, making them feel like they must be polished and flawless to be truly accepted. the masquerade whispers, "are you sure this is the right choice? are you refined enough, successful enough, desirable enough?" libra thrives on beauty and balance, but this enemy makes them fixate on flaws, second-guess their actions, and fear being exposed as inadequate. they may struggle with an internal pressure to maintain an idealized version of themselves, constantly adjusting to meet others' expectations instead of simply existing as they are.

how libra self-sabotages:

they overanalyze every social interaction, every choice, and every commitment, paralyzing themselves with indecision. they struggle with acknowledging their own needs, often deferring to what they believe will please others rather than what truly fulfills them. they may hold themselves to impossibly high standards, believing that any mistake could damage their reputation or relationships. the masquerade wins when libra rising lets their own self-doubt keep them from embracing their true identity and desires.

★ the warrior (7th house, aries) ★

how to defeat it:

libra must realize that they do not need to be perfect—they need to be authentic. if they trust their instincts rather than constantly refining themselves for others, the masquerade loses its power.

how it attacks:

aries in the 7th house attracts partners who are direct, independent, and sometimes confrontational. the warrior appears as lovers who push libra rising to assert themselves, stand their ground, and make decisions without overthinking. libra prefers harmony and mutual understanding, but this enemy places them in relationships that demand personal strength and self-assertion rather than constant compromise. they may attract partners who challenge their desire for fairness by pushing them to be decisive, competitive, and self-reliant.

how libra self-sabotages:

they avoid conflict at all costs, often sacrificing their own needs just to maintain peace in relationships. they mistake assertiveness for aggression, struggling to stand their ground when it truly matters. they may become overly reliant on a partner’s leadership, believing that someone else should make the hard decisions for them. the warrior wins when libra rising fears confrontation so much that they lose their ability to fight for what they truly want in relationships.

how to defeat it:

libra must realize that standing up for themselves does not mean creating conflict—it means claiming their power. if they embrace self-assertion and make decisions based on their own needs rather than trying to please others, the warrior loses its grip.

★ scorpio rising: the taskmaster, the wildfire, the mirror, the tower ★

the taskmaster (6th house, aries) forces them into grueling work environments, exhausting responsibilities, and non-stop action with no room for rest or strategy.

the whirlwind (8th house, gemini) spreads rapid and unpredictable destruction through miscommunication, betrayal, and emotional upheavals they never see coming.

the mirror (12th house, libra) lurks in their subconscious, forcing them to reconcile their need for control with their hidden desire for harmony and validation.

the tower (7th house, taurus) appears in relationships that challenge their emotional intensity with stability, patience, and resistance to their usual tactics of manipulation or control.

★ the taskmaster (6th house, aries) ★

how it attacks:

scorpio rising prefers to move with strategy, taking control over their own pace, but aries in the 6th house drags them into constant action, high-pressure work environments, and physical exhaustion that leaves no time for careful planning. the taskmaster appears as demanding jobs, overwhelming routines, and responsibilities that never seem to end. scorpio rising craves depth and meaning, but this enemy forces them into mindless, repetitive labor that drains their energy. their health suffers from stress, overworking, and pushing themselves to the absolute limit.

how scorpio self-sabotages:

they refuse to rest, believing that if they stop, they will lose control over their success. they bottle up frustration, only to explode when the pressure becomes unbearable. they reject help, thinking that true strength means doing everything alone. the taskmaster wins when scorpio rising burns out completely, leaving them unable to function effectively.

★ the whirlwind (8th house, gemini) ★

how to defeat it:

scorpio must learn that working smart is more important than working hard. if they embrace efficiency, delegate responsibilities, and prioritize their well-being, the taskmaster loses its power.

how it attacks:

gemini in the 8th house forces scorpio rising into fast-moving emotional crises, unexpected betrayals, and chaotic transformations that they cannot control. the whirlwind appears as partners who spread misinformation, friendships that dissolve without warning, and secrets that surface at the worst possible moments. unlike the slow, deep emotional transformations scorpio prefers, this enemy brings sudden, jarring changes that leave them scrambling for answers.

how scorpio self-sabotages:

they obsess over hidden meanings, desperately trying to piece together fragmented truths. they hold onto grudges, unable to let go of past betrayals even when moving forward would serve them better. they overestimate their ability to control narratives, believing that if they dig deep enough, they can uncover the full truth—but the whirlwind ensures that truth always remains elusive.

★ the mirror (12th house, libra) ★

how to defeat it:

scorpio must accept that not every mystery needs to be solved, and not every battle is worth fighting. if they let go of their need to control information and embrace adaptability, the whirlwind loses its power.

how it attacks:

libra in the 12th house creates a hidden contradiction within scorpio rising—on the surface, they exude power and independence, but deep down, they secretly crave harmony, acceptance, and even love from others in ways they don’t admit to themselves. the mirror whispers, “you are not as in control as you pretend to be. you want to be loved, just like everyone else.” scorpio rising wants to believe they are above the need for external validation, but this enemy forces them to reckon with the parts of themselves that desire approval, affection, and connection.

how scorpio self-sabotages:

they push people away, fearing that letting others in will make them vulnerable. they dismiss their own need for love, pretending that they do not care about being understood. they struggle with internal contradictions, torn between their desire for power and their secret longing for peace. the mirror wins when scorpio rising denies their softer side, refusing to acknowledge their need for balance and connection.

★ the tower (7th house, taurus) ★

how to defeat it:

scorpio must accept that they can be both powerful and vulnerable, both dominant and loving. if they embrace their desire for harmony instead of suppressing it, the mirror loses its hold.

how it attacks:

taurus in the 7th house attracts partners who resist scorpio’s usual tactics of control, manipulation, and emotional intensity. the tower appears as lovers who refuse to engage in power struggles, who demand stability instead of chaos, and who hold their ground rather than bending to scorpio’s will. relationships feel slow, unmovable, and sometimes frustratingly stable, lacking the extreme emotional highs and lows scorpio is used to navigating. unlike the deeply transformative connections scorpio prefers, this enemy forces them to experience love as something steady and unshakable rather than dramatic and consuming.

how scorpio self-sabotages:

they test their partners, pushing limits to see if they will react, but taurus energy remains calm and unmoved, which frustrates them even more. they resist trust, believing that if they let go of control, they will lose their power. they mistake consistency for boredom, often sabotaging stable relationships because they crave something more intense. the tower wins when scorpio rising rejects stability, convincing themselves that love must be painful in order to be meaningful.

how to defeat it:

scorpio must realize that true strength lies in trust and patience, not just in power and intensity. if they embrace the idea that love can be stable and fulfilling without being destructive or obsessive, the tower loses its foundation and crumbles.

★ sagittarius rising: the warden, the undertow, the serpent, the ballast ★

the warden (6th house, taurus) forces them into repetitive, rigid routines that feel suffocating and slow, demanding discipline and patience rather than excitement and variety.

the undertow (8th house, cancer) drags them into overwhelming emotional depths, forcing them to confront attachment, loss, and intimacy in ways they instinctively resist.

the serpent (12th house, scorpio) lurks in their subconscious, clouding their instincts with paranoia, self-doubt, and fears of hidden betrayals that may or may not be real.

the ballast (7th house, gemini) appears in relationships that feel too logical, detached, or mentally exhausting, challenging their need for passion and spiritual depth in love.

★ the warden (6th house, taurus) ★

how it attacks:

sagittarius rising thrives on spontaneity and movement, but taurus in the 6th house drags them into slow, repetitive routines that feel like an inescapable prison. the warden appears as unwavering responsibilities, work that demands patience and endurance, and an environment that offers little stimulation or adventure. sagittarius wants quick results and flexible schedules, but this enemy demands consistency, discipline, and a long-term commitment to progress. it shows up in strict work schedules, demanding health regimens, and daily obligations that seem to drag on forever.

how sagittarius self-sabotages:

they avoid commitment, jumping between jobs and projects before they see results. they procrastinate on long-term goals, believing they will figure things out later, only to feel overwhelmed when responsibilities catch up to them. they resist slowing down, fearing that stillness means stagnation. the warden wins when sagittarius rising refuses to develop discipline, leaving them stuck in cycles of unfinished ideas and fleeting interests that never turn into something stable.

★ the undertow (8th house, cancer) ★

how to defeat it:

sagittarius must learn that structure does not equal confinement—it is the foundation that makes long-term freedom possible. if they embrace patience and steady effort without seeing it as a cage, the warden loses its power.

how it attacks:

cancer in the 8th house forces sagittarius rising into deep emotional waters they are not prepared to navigate. the undertow appears as intense, overwhelming relationships, family burdens they cannot escape, and a need to face their own emotions instead of running from them. unlike the lighthearted connections sagittarius prefers, this enemy drags them into matters of life, death, and legacy, forcing them to feel things they would rather intellectualize or joke about.

how sagittarius self-sabotages:

they avoid deep emotional bonds, keeping relationships surface-level to avoid being tied down. they shut down when people expect emotional vulnerability, preferring to keep things light rather than diving into painful discussions. they distract themselves with travel, work, or new experiences rather than sitting with their feelings and processing them fully. the undertow wins when sagittarius rising denies themselves true emotional connection and healing because they fear the weight of it.

★ the serpent (12th house, scorpio) ★

how to defeat it:

sagittarius must learn that freedom is not just physical—it is emotional too. if they allow themselves to face their feelings rather than escape them, they will find deeper meaning and connection than they ever thought possible.

how it attacks:

scorpio in the 12th house creates a lurking fear of betrayal, failure, and losing control. the serpent coils around sagittarius rising’s subconscious, whispering "what if you're wrong? what if you’ve trusted the wrong people? what if there's something lurking beneath the surface you’re too blind to see?" sagittarius prefers truth, openness, and expansion, but this enemy poisons them with paranoia, self-doubt, and subconscious sabotage that leads them into self-destructive patterns. they may laugh things off on the surface, but underneath, they are haunted by unspoken fears of what’s waiting in the shadows.

how sagittarius self-sabotages:

they become reckless to avoid confronting their inner darkness, throwing themselves into distractions instead of acknowledging their deeper wounds. they doubt their own wisdom, fearing that they will never have all the answers, leading them to overcompensate with arrogance or avoidance. they keep their pain buried, assuming that if they don’t think about it, it won’t affect them—only for it to creep into their decisions unconsciously. the serpent wins when sagittarius rising lets fear of the unknown dictate their actions rather than embracing the power of transformation.

★ the ballast (7th house, gemini) ★

how to defeat it:

sagittarius must realize that fear only has power when ignored. if they confront their hidden wounds, embrace vulnerability, and trust in their ability to overcome, the serpent loses its venom.

how it attacks:

gemini in the 7th house attracts partners who challenge sagittarius rising’s need for passion and adventure with logic, detachment, and intellectual debates that can feel cold or exhausting. the ballast appears as lovers who overanalyze everything, make love feel like a mental chess game rather than a passionate connection, or constantly test their beliefs in frustrating ways. sagittarius seeks a lover who will run wild with them, but this enemy keeps them tethered to reality, forcing them to engage in difficult conversations rather than simply escaping into passion or philosophy.

how sagittarius self-sabotages:

they get restless in relationships, craving constant novelty and excitement. they avoid serious conversations, choosing charm and humor over emotional depth. they struggle with staying present in relationships that require patience and effort, assuming that if things aren’t effortless, they aren’t meant to be. the ballast wins when sagittarius rising rejects commitment, assuming it will slow them down rather than expand their world in new ways.

how to defeat it:

sagittarius must realize that real love is not about constant movement—it is about trust, growth, and exploration together. if they stop fearing commitment and embrace meaningful intellectual and emotional connections, the ballast loses its weight.

★ capricorn rising: the conveyor belt, the pyre, the shadowcaster, the maelstrom ★

the conveyor belt (6th house, gemini) throws them into chaotic routines, constant multitasking, and shallow distractions that drain their efficiency and focus.

the pyre (8th house, leo) forces them into ego-destroying transformations, stripping away their carefully built self-image through loss, betrayal, and power struggles.

the shadowcaster (12th house, sagittarius) lurks in their subconscious, creating an inner conflict between their need for control and their hidden desire for boundless freedom and escape.

the maelstrom (7th house, cancer) appears in relationships that overwhelm them with emotional intensity, unpredictability, and demands for vulnerability they struggle to meet.

★ the conveyor belt (6th house, gemini) ★

how it attacks:

capricorn rising thrives on structure and efficiency, but gemini in the 6th house disrupts their carefully laid plans with constant interruptions, overwhelming responsibilities, and shallow tasks that waste their time. the conveyor belt appears as a fast-paced work environment that prioritizes speed over quality, an endless influx of responsibilities that prevent deep focus, and a lack of consistency that makes it difficult to establish long-term stability. capricorn rising prefers steady progress, but this enemy forces them to juggle too many tasks at once, leading to burnout and dissatisfaction.

how capricorn self-sabotages:

they micromanage everything, believing that if they control every detail, they can prevent chaos—only to exhaust themselves in the process. they overcommit to responsibilities, taking on too much out of a sense of duty, even when it drains them. they ignore their need for rest, believing that working harder will solve everything, even when their lack of efficiency is the real problem. the conveyor belt wins when capricorn rising mistakes busyness for productivity, losing sight of their long-term goals in the process.

★ the pyre (8th house, leo) ★

how to defeat it:

capricorn must learn that quality matters more than quantity. if they prioritize deep work, delegate unnecessary tasks, and allow flexibility in their routines without sacrificing structure, the conveyor belt loses its grip.

how it attacks:

leo in the 8th house forces capricorn rising into sudden and often humiliating transformations that strip away their pride, authority, or sense of control. the pyre appears as public failures, betrayals that damage their reputation, or deep emotional losses that force them to let go of their rigid self-image. unlike the gradual, structured change they prefer, this enemy burns away everything they once relied on, leaving them exposed and vulnerable before they have a chance to rebuild.

how capricorn self-sabotages:

they cling to their authority and status, refusing to admit when they need help or when their old methods are no longer working. they fear showing weakness, leading them to bottle up emotions until they explode in dramatic ways. they struggle with letting go, often trying to salvage control in situations that demand surrender. the pyre wins when capricorn rising fights against necessary transformation, only to have it forced upon them in painful, unavoidable ways.

★ the shadowcaster (12th house, sagittarius) ★

how to defeat it:

capricorn must accept that sometimes destruction is necessary for renewal. if they embrace change rather than resisting it, they can rise from the ashes stronger and wiser. the pyre loses its fire when capricorn learns to let go of outdated versions of themselves before life forces them to.

how it attacks:

sagittarius in the 12th house creates a subconscious conflict between capricorn’s need for stability and their hidden desire for escape, risk, and freedom. the shadowcaster whispers, “what if you’re missing out? what if you built this entire life only to realize you never really lived?” capricorn rising thrives on control and careful planning, but this enemy fuels impulsive desires to abandon everything and run toward the unknown—an urge they struggle to reconcile with their responsibility-driven nature.

how capricorn self-sabotages:

they deny their need for adventure, suppressing any impulse that threatens their structured world—only to find themselves secretly fantasizing about escape. they intellectualize their emotions, avoiding deep spiritual reflection in favor of tangible achievements. they fear uncertainty, preferring to stay on the path they’ve built, even if it no longer excites them. the shadowcaster wins when capricorn rising lets fear of instability keep them from evolving, leaving them feeling trapped in a life they built but no longer connect with.

★ the maelstrom (7th house, cancer) ★

how to defeat it:

capricorn must learn that they don’t have to choose between stability and adventure—they can have both. if they integrate spontaneity and self-discovery into their structured life, the shadowcaster fades away.

how it attacks:

cancer in the 7th house attracts partners who bring deep emotional intensity, unpredictable moods, and demands for vulnerability that capricorn rising struggles to meet. the maelstrom appears as relationships that require them to open up, soften, and connect on an emotional level rather than just a practical one. capricorn rising prefers partnerships built on mutual goals and stability, but this enemy forces them into love that is raw, nurturing, and sometimes overwhelming in its depth and intensity.

how capricorn self-sabotages:

they emotionally detach, keeping relationships strictly transactional or goal-oriented rather than allowing them to be deeply felt experiences. they view emotions as distractions, struggling with being present in moments of deep connection. they fear dependency, believing that needing someone too much will make them weak. the maelstrom wins when capricorn rising pushes away genuine intimacy out of fear that they will lose control in the process.

how to defeat it:

capricorn must learn that true strength lies in allowing themselves to be loved fully, not just respected or admired. if they embrace emotional connection rather than avoiding it, the maelstrom loses its storm.

★ aquarius rising: the tidebreaker, the iron veil, the hollow, the sovereign ★

the tidebreaker (6th house, cancer) disrupts their logical, structured world with unpredictable emotional demands, workplace drama, and physical stress rooted in unresolved emotional baggage.

the iron veil (8th house, virgo) forces them into slow, grueling psychological transformations that demand patience, humility, and meticulous self-analysis—things they resist deeply.

the hollow (12th house, capricorn) lurks in their subconscious, creating an inner war between their rebellious ideals and a hidden, relentless drive for control, status, and power.

the sovereign (7th house, leo) appears in relationships that challenge their detached, intellectual approach to love by demanding passion, adoration, and unwavering presence.

★ the tidebreaker (6th house, cancer) ★

how it attacks:

aquarius rising thrives on rationality and objectivity, but cancer in the 6th house forces them into work environments and daily routines that are dictated by emotion rather than logic. the tidebreaker appears as unpredictable coworkers, emotionally draining work responsibilities, and health struggles that stem from bottled-up stress. unlike the detached and calculated approach they prefer, this enemy turns every task into an emotional ordeal, making it difficult for them to separate work from personal feelings.

how aquarius self-sabotages:

they dismiss emotional needs as irrational, avoiding self-care until stress manifests as physical exhaustion. they detach in workplace drama, refusing to engage but still feeling the weight of unresolved tension around them. they overlook the importance of emotional balance in their daily life, leading to burnout and erratic productivity cycles. the tidebreaker wins when aquarius rising ignores the emotional undercurrents affecting their well-being, mistaking detachment for control.

★ the iron veil (8th house, virgo) ★

how to defeat it:

aquarius must learn that emotional intelligence is just as important as intellectual intelligence. if they acknowledge the emotional weight of their environment instead of dismissing it, they can create boundaries that protect their energy rather than pretending they don’t need them. the tidebreaker loses its force when aquarius rising embraces both logic and emotion in their daily life.

how it attacks:

virgo in the 8th house forces aquarius rising into painfully slow, detail-heavy personal transformations that feel suffocating and never-ending. the iron veil appears as a cycle of self-improvement that is never enough, deep insecurities masked as perfectionism, and crises that require careful, tedious healing instead of quick fixes or intellectual solutions. unlike the sudden breakthroughs aquarius prefers, this enemy demands meticulous self-work that cannot be skipped or avoided.

how aquarius self-sabotages:

they intellectualize their emotions, analyzing their problems instead of actually processing and feeling them. they avoid deep personal work, preferring to distract themselves with new ideas or future plans rather than dealing with old wounds that still influence them. they deny their own vulnerability, refusing to admit that they, too, need healing and emotional care. the iron veil wins when aquarius rising avoids necessary transformation, staying stuck in mental loops rather than making real progress.

★ the hollow (12th house, capricorn) ★

how to defeat it:

aquarius must realize that true transformation is not about intellectual mastery—it’s about emotional integration. if they embrace the discomfort of slow healing instead of trying to "logic" their way out of it, the iron veil loses its power.

how it attacks:

capricorn in the 12th house creates a hidden conflict between aquarius rising’s rebellious, nonconformist ideals and their subconscious desire for control, power, and recognition. the hollow whispers, “you act like you don’t care about success, but what if deep down, you do? what if everything you claim to reject is actually what you crave the most?” aquarius prides themselves on breaking societal norms, but this enemy reveals the part of them that fears being irrelevant, directionless, or incapable of building something lasting.

how aquarius self-sabotages:

they reject traditional success too aggressively, sometimes turning down opportunities just to prove they are different. they act as if they don’t care about legacy or reputation, even when deep down, they want to make a lasting impact but fear being seen as hypocritical. they hide their need for structure, believing that admitting to their ambitions would mean surrendering to the very systems they claim to resist. the hollow wins when aquarius rising lets their fear of conformity keep them from fully embracing their power and influence.

★ the sovereign (7th house, leo) ★

how to defeat it:

aquarius must realize that power is not the enemy—misuse of power is. if they accept that ambition does not have to mean selling out, and that structure does not have to mean restriction, the hollow loses its grip.

how it attacks:

leo in the 7th house attracts partners who demand loyalty, grand gestures, and unwavering presence—things aquarius rising often struggles to provide. the sovereign appears as relationships that feel larger than life, lovers who expect admiration and deep emotional engagement, and partnerships that challenge their need for independence and detachment. aquarius rising prefers companionship that allows for freedom, but this enemy demands total commitment, forcing them to confront their resistance to deep emotional investment.

how aquarius self-sabotages:

they keep relationships at arm’s length, fearing that if they give too much of themselves, they will lose their identity. they downplay their emotions, sometimes acting indifferent or unavailable even when they deeply care. they resist partners who want to be the center of their world, struggling with expressing appreciation in ways that feel genuine to them rather than performative or forced. the sovereign wins when aquarius rising rejects the vulnerability of love in favor of detached intellectualism, losing deep connections in the process.

how to defeat it:

aquarius must learn that true freedom in relationships comes from trust and mutual respect, not distance and avoidance. if they embrace devotion without feeling like it threatens their independence, the sovereign loses its power.

★ pisces rising: the inferno, the marionette, the rift, the sentinel ★

the inferno (6th house, leo) burns through their desire for quiet, intuitive work, forcing them into high-pressure environments where ego and recognition dictate success.

the marionette (8th house, libra) traps them in emotional and financial dependencies, pulling their strings so subtly that they do not realize they are losing control until it is too late.

the rift (12th house, aquarius) lurks in their subconscious, making them feel like an outsider in their own mind, torn between their dreamlike visions and the cold detachment of reality.

the sentinel (7th house, virgo) appears in relationships that demand practicality, structure, and discipline, forcing them to reconcile their ideals with the need for stability and reliability in love.

★ the inferno (6th house, leo) ★

how it attacks:

pisces rising thrives on fluidity, creative expression, and quiet inspiration, but leo in the 6th house throws them into environments where they are expected to be seen, acknowledged, and perform under pressure. the inferno appears as demanding bosses, high-stakes careers that require constant self-promotion, or daily routines that require them to maintain a dominant presence rather than flowing at their own pace. unlike the dreamlike, intuitive work environments they long for, this enemy demands authority, structure, and external validation.

how pisces self-sabotages:

they shrink from leadership roles, fearing that stepping into the spotlight will strip them of their deeper, spiritual purpose. they avoid structured routines, preferring spontaneity even when discipline could help them thrive. they downplay their own success, believing that seeking recognition is egotistical when, in reality, it’s necessary for growth. the inferno wins when pisces rising refuses to embrace their inner strength, instead letting themselves drift aimlessly in jobs or routines that do not fulfill them.

★ the marionette (8th house, libra) ★

how to defeat it:

pisces must realize that being seen does not mean losing their authenticity. if they allow themselves to take up space, lead with compassion, and accept recognition as part of their journey, the inferno loses its flames.

how it attacks:

libra in the 8th house forces pisces rising into deep, complex emotional and financial connections that feel impossible to untangle. the marionette appears as relationships where they lose themselves in others, joint financial burdens they cannot escape, and a never-ending struggle between maintaining peace and asserting their needs. unlike the free-flowing, romantic bonds they seek, this enemy ties them to obligations that grow more complicated over time, draining them of energy and autonomy.

how pisces self-sabotages:

they prioritize harmony over self-protection, staying in situations that are quietly suffocating them just to avoid confrontation. they believe love means sacrifice, sometimes giving up more than they receive in return. they become financially or emotionally dependent, making it difficult to walk away from relationships that have become entangled with their survival or sense of self. the marionette wins when pisces rising mistakes obligation for connection, binding themselves to others at the cost of their own freedom.

★ the rift (12th house, aquarius) ★

how to defeat it:

pisces must learn that true connection does not come from dependence—it comes from mutual respect and balance. if they assert their boundaries and reclaim their independence, the marionette’s strings will snap.

how it attacks:

aquarius in the 12th house creates a deep internal divide between pisces rising’s rich inner world and an underlying fear of emotional detachment or irrelevance. the rift whispers, “your dreams are beautiful, but what if they don’t mean anything? what if you are just another wandering soul, lost in illusion?” pisces rising is deeply connected to spirituality and creativity, but this enemy injects doubt, making them feel isolated even within their own mind. they may experience visions, intuition, and dreams that feel profound, only to question if they are truly connected or if they are merely lost in their own delusions.

how pisces self-sabotages:

they avoid grounding themselves, preferring to stay in the world of ideas and dreams even when reality is calling them back. they doubt their own intuition, fearing that they cannot trust their instincts or that their inner world is somehow “wrong” or meaningless. they disconnect from others, feeling too different or too misunderstood to fully belong anywhere. the rift wins when pisces rising convinces themselves that they are a ghost drifting through life rather than an active creator of their own destiny.

★ the sentinel (7th house, virgo) ★

how to defeat it:

pisces must realize that they do not have to choose between dreams and reality—they can build a bridge between them. if they anchor their creativity and intuition in the physical world through action and expression, the rift loses its power to separate them from themselves.

how it attacks:

virgo in the 7th house attracts partners who demand order, structure, and logic—things that pisces rising often struggles with in their romantic relationships. the sentinel appears as partners who need stability, who expect routines and reliability, who analyze love rather than surrendering to it. pisces rising seeks romantic, intuitive, and spiritual bonds, but this enemy challenges them to be practical, to make love something tangible rather than just a dream or a feeling.

how pisces self-sabotages:

they romanticize instability, sometimes choosing lovers who “save” them rather than ones who help them grow. they resist structure in relationships, fearing that commitments will strip away the magic and mystery they crave. they become passive, allowing partners to dictate the direction of the relationship because they fear confrontation or responsibility. the sentinel wins when pisces rising refuses to engage in the practical side of love, expecting devotion to be purely intuitive rather than a daily act of commitment and care.

how to defeat it:

pisces must learn that love does not lose its magic just because it is stable. if they embrace consistency and effort as part of devotion rather than limitations on passion, the sentinel loses its power.

[urdreamgirlangel]

Romanticizing Productivity (Minus the Burnout) ｡𖦹°‧

@f1rst-l0vel4t3-spr1ng asked: hi angel!! how do you stay productive and out of procrastination cycles?

this is for the girls who feel like they’re falling behind but keep showing up anyway. ♡

✶ you are not lazy.

✶ you are not behind.

✶ you are a real person with a real nervous system, trying to do her best in a world that rewards burnout.

✶ give yourself grace. then give yourself a nap.

Plan your days ˚｡･─౨♡ৎ─･｡ﾟ

When you know what you're doing, when, and how, life feels less overwhelming.

Use a planner

make a cute to-do list with time stamps & decorate it to encourage yourself to look at it

Personally, planning makes my day way easier, but sometimes even this isn't enough. You could literally just stare at your planner blankly and ignore it for the whole day.

The 4 Quarter Method

Quarter 1 (Morning): 6am-10am

Quarter 2 (Midday): 10am-2pm

Quarter 3 (Afternoon): 2pm-6pm

Quarter 4 (Evening): 6pm-9/10pm

Decide what you want to do in those spaces. And note that even if you need to start over, you don’t have to wait until tomorrow, literally just do it next quarter.

The 12-Week Year

Instead of viewing a year as a long 12-month stretch, you break it into shorter 12-week periods, treating each as a 'year'. This encourages you to focus and take action on your goals sooner, turning your long-term goals into short-term ones.

૮ ․ ․ ྀིა keeps motivation high and priorities clear

૮ ․ ․ ྀིა track progress and adjust as needed

૮ ․ ․ ྀིა keep your goals specific and measurable, breaking them down into weekly targets.

Be realistic ⭑.ᐟ

Don't overestimate your energy levels, and do not try to lie to yourself. Leave space for unpredictability.

Discipline over Motivation ˚｡･─౨♡ৎ─･｡ﾟ

If you wait until you feel motivated to get things done, it’s unlikely that you actually will. So this is where discipline comes in because it provides more control and consistency. In other words, train yourself through building habits and routine to do what needs to be done, even if you don’t feel like doing it.

Choosing to do things you don’t like/want to right now for future you.

You literally have to choose the version of yourself you’d rather be over the version of you that you want to leave behind. Think about the future and think about whatever you wanna do. Imagine that person. Girl, that’s you and always will be as long as you take yourself seriously, as long as you are truthful to yourself, as long as you continuously choose to do whatever it takes not to be the opposite.

The Execution ˚｡･─౨♡ৎ─･｡ﾟ

What about the things that lead to your goals? I like to create routines, habits and rituals because they make the tasks doable.

Build daily and weekly systems that you will automatically fall into (over time of course) for even when you don’t feel like it but you know you need to. These systems create habits.

｡𖦹°‧ Morning/Night rituals/routines - structure the start and end of your day

｡𖦹°‧ Study Rituals - your methods & what you do before, during and after matter

｡𖦹°‧ Habit stacking - build new habits by attaching them to established routine.

｡𖦹°‧ Reuse the 4 quarter method by planning each day's workload

The 2-Minute Method

If a habit feels too overwhelming, start with just two minutes - James Clear. The idea is to start small and build momentum over time.

‹𝟹 Wanna read more? Start with reading for two minutes.

‹𝟹 Wanna journal? Write a single sentence.

‹𝟹 Wanna study? Read the first paragraph/page.

Procrastination ˚｡･─౨♡ৎ─･｡ﾟ

We all have procrastinated from time to time. It’s normal. It’s human. However, understanding why we do it can help us break out of it.

The leading causes of procrastination:

⤷ overestimating how much time we have

⤷ overestimating the motivation we’ll have in the future

⤷ underestimating how long tasks will take

⤷ thinking we need the right mindset to study

⤷ lack of energy

⤷ mental health challenges

How to fight it

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆ Create a distraction-free environment

₊ ⊹ Clear your desk, close unused tabs, put your phone out of reach.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆ Use a to-do list (that’s realistic)

₊ ⊹ Break tasks into micro-steps.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆ Reward yourself after completing an item on your list

₊ ⊹ Boosts mood and self-esteem, leading to the realization that your efforts result in a positive reward.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆ Pay attention to thoughts of procrastination and resist the urge.

₊ ⊹ Gently challenge them

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆ Ask for help

₊ ⊹ Putting things off is normal for all of us, but it’s important to notice when something has gone/is going too far. Maybe you’re struggling to understand a concept, and that’s why, but that’s when you have to take the time to put yourself first and ask for help.

All you have to do is start. The first step is usually the hardest, and also the only one that matters the most.

Think you wasted the day away already? It’s the little things that count.

Do something right now.

Stretch, shower, brush your teeth, eat a meal, change your clothes, get some sun, read a page of a book. Starting something often leads me to wanting to continue. Instead of one page, I’ll read a chapter even though I said I’d only read a page, simply because the page turned out to be so interesting- then I think, ‘oh yeah, that's why I bought this book’.

Academic Burnout & Toxic productivity ˚｡･─౨♡ৎ─･｡ﾟ

Just because you’re functioning doesn’t mean you’re okay.

I feel like this is way more common than acknowledged, and as a former academic girlie (until I hit a breaking point), I know it all too well. I didn’t even realize I was burnt out until it’d already messed me up. So… don’t be like me. But also, it’s okay if you are already because you can always redeem yourself even if it’s not through academics.

Signs of Burnout <3 !

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Constant exhaustion — physically and mentally

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Feeling sick, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Loss of confidence in your ability

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Missing deadlines or avoiding work altogether

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Feeling like you can’t absorb any information

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Zoning out way more often than usual

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Getting easily irritated or emotional

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Feeling detached or negative about learning

how to avoid and recover from burnout <3 !

Rest is rest - when resting, don't do something draining like scrolling through your phone. Do something that’s meaningful to rest, a nap, eating, drinking water, meditating, just to rest your brain

Pay attention to how you feel and react to certain things to recognize the symptoms, do not ignore yourself.

Make time for fun and social activities - gives your brain a break, boosts energy, and can feel refreshing while also boosting creativity

Practice mindfulness - being present in the moment by going outside or meditating reduces stress and boosts emotional regulation

Get a lot of exercise, stay hydrated, and eat good quality food - improves sleep and increases energy levels

Set reasonable goals - don’t try to do everything at the same time or in one time frame, and know your limits

Keep your environment organized to feel organized and more at peace

Develop good relationships with your classmates and professors/teachers, so going to class doesn’t feel like a chore

Positive self-talk - encouraging yourself every day and reminding yourself you can do anything you put your mind to, because you can !

Stick to deadlines and avoid procrastination (more on the how-to-avoid side)

Changing the scenery helps more than you think

Have no more than 2 intense quarters per day.

Remember why you are doing this in the first place and if you can’t find a reason then you definitely have to think about if this is what you want to do and if you don’t, that may be the main cause of your burnout

Seek help through your support system (friends, family, therapist) or even me because i’m always here if you need to talk

Reality Check 𓂂 𓇼˚｡ •

it’s literally not necessary to be working excessively hard, trying to find ways to sleep less to study/work more because it will cost you your mental, emotional and physical health.. and if you don’t have those.. there’s literally no point of doing anything. social media has glamorized toxic productivity so much that it’s an aesthetic. to be raw, slowly killing yourself isn’t cute. you’re a real person with real feelings and limits. you are not a brand packaging an ideal that is in no way real. and at the end of the day, grades don’t matter as much as you may currently believe they do. you have to choose to take care of yourself because no one else is going to do it for you.

Be efficient — study smarter, not harder ˚｡･─౨♡ৎ─･｡ﾟ

Before you even touch a book:

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡ Stretch your body — it actually helps your brain engage

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡ Stay hydrated, eat quality foods, take your vitamins - fuel matters

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡ Plan your days - list assignments by date the moment you get your syllabus, then just check things off

Study Methods That actually Work:

˙ ✩°˖🥐 Flashcards - active recall is better than passive reading

˙ ✩°˖🍼 Try the Pomodoro Method - 25 mins work, 5 mins break

˙ ˙ ✩°˖🥐 Go on walks - movement helps with processing, memory & focus

˙ ✩°˖🍼 Reteach what you learned - out loud or to someone else (personally my plushies are my fav audience)

˙ ✩°˖🥐 Blurting method – write down everything you know from memory, then compare to your notes and fill in the gaps

˙ ✩°˖🍼 Sticky notes - great for reminders (esp in language learning - stick one onto a piece of furniture, with the translation on it)

˙ ✩°˖🥐 Mind map sheets – use a blank page and colored pens to create idea webs

˙ ✩°˖🍼 Annotate your notes - highlight, underline, scribble little thoughts in the margins, make it yours

✩°˖🥐 Practice - practice tests and past papers help you get used to the style of questions so you can be better prepared and confident in tests. They also help you identify any weaknesses in the topic so you can know what they are and work on them.

˙ ✩°˖🍼 Channel your inner study icon (Elle Woods) - cute outfit/pjs, brain on and ready

Just start. The momentum will come

Resources:

Apps^ྀི

Planners: Notion templates, Google Calendar, todo mate

Habit trackers & Focus: focus plant (fav), study bunny, habit, finch (fav)

Playlists^ྀི

Lo-fi, brown/white noise, focus music - like sunnii mmelt elisio hny

Study with Me's can be found in my youtubers for the girlies post parts 1 & 2

Break ideas ྀི

Go for a short walk

Journal for 5 minutes

Simple stretches or practice deep breathing

Eat something nourishing

Yoga

Light a candle and literally sit in silence for a bit

Watch the sky for 2 minutes

Take a nap

All you need to do is start. Missing something isn’t the end of the world. Take your time, have some rest, reward yourself, and remember, you can always start again.

✿ if this helped you or made you feel understood, reblog so other girls like us can find it too

follow @urdreamgirlangel 444 more <33

[astrolook]

⏳The ‘Unluckiest’ Aspects: Why Some People Always Struggle (And How to Break the Cycle) ⏳

Note: These are my personal observations over the years. The patterns I’ve seen show up again and again in real life, not just in textbooks. If it resonates, cool. If not, toss it to the stars.

Saturn in 1st - Born serious. Life said “smile later.” Grew up faster than everyone else and now wonders why joy feels like a scam. Inner child needs a hug. Might have been bullied as a kid.

Moon in 12th - You may have grown up suppressing feelings to survive. Emotional isolation follows you, even in crowds. No one knows how you're feeling because you don’t either. Emotional GPS is foggy. Cries alone and doesn’t know why. Dreams are emotional landfills.

Mars square Neptune - You swing between chasing visions and total burnout. Also, your anger either leaks out or vanishes when you need it. You’re passionate but disoriented, craving purpose without a map. Motivation disappears like socks in the dryer.

Saturn in 5th - Creativity feels like pressure instead of pleasure. You might fear being seen as silly, vulnerable, or untalented. Tough dating life or non-existent.

Chiron in 2nd - You link value to productivity, money, or external approval. Financial instability = emotional instability. Feels personally attacked by every bill. Buys love or denies pleasure. Abundance feels suspicious.

Moon square Saturn - Emotional constipation. You learned early to suppress emotional needs for safety. You love was likely earned, rationed, or absent. You judge yourself for feeling “too much” or “too little.”

Pluto in 4th - Your family may have had secrets, trauma, or control issues or felt like a pressure cooker. You are on survival mode. You might fear vulnerability because you equate it with danger.

Neptune in 6th - You could get exploited in your work place or it drained you to the core. Your body responds more to emotions than logic. Reality glitches. Could romanticize suffering as devotion to duty, in some cases.

Mars in 12th - You are your own enemy. Anger goes underground. Blows up once a year, spectacularly. You sabotage your own drive before others can judge it. Your anger turns inward, manifesting in anxiety or illness.

Sun opposite Pluto - You’re constantly torn between control and surrender. Power struggles follow you in both relationships and identity. Transformation comes after a meltdown.

Mercury square Saturn - You words buffer in real life. Your thoughts feel like they need a permission slip. You might struggle to communicate because of early invalidation. You second-guess even your clearest ideas.

Mercury rx in 3rd - You overthink your overthinking, then rewrite it three times. Early school years felt like decoding a foreign language. Words often fail you mid-sentence, especially when they matter.

Mars rx in 1st - You feel guilty for wanting things, even basic ones. Anger simmers silently or explodes after repression. You don’t fight until your identity feels erased. Initiative feels hard when self-worth is in question.

Jupiter rx in 5th/9th - Your beliefs come from within, not institutions. You’ve always questioned the rules, even spiritual ones. Teachers disappointed you, so you became your own. Faith is personal, earned, and ever-shifting.

Uranus rx in 5th/11th - You want to fit in just not like them. Seriously, friendships feel like freedom tests or social experiments. You fear conformity but crave belonging.

Mercury rx square Neptune - Communication feels like trying to text through fog. You say one thing, feel another, and mean a third. Imagination is wild but so is your confusion. People misunderstand you and you misunderstand yourself.

🌌✨Wanna know how your own retrogrades or unlucky placements play out in your chart? Or decode why certain patterns keep showing up in your life like cosmic reruns?

DM me for a complete astrology reading and check out my pinned post for pricing 🌌✨

[thesweetestofdreams]

hot chocolate

pairings: poly!marauders x reader (852 words)

warnings: should be none, just a little stress cry/ burnout

a/n: Do I like this? I have no idea. The boys help to comfort you on a late night that has you stressed.

Reaching out to his left, James expects to find your warmth. Instead all he feels are empty sheets. The fuzziness of sleep threatens to pull him back down, but your absence keeps him up. 

He pads through your small apartment doing his best not to wake your boyfriends still sleeping behind him. The small spike of panic he felt at not finding you eases as he finally does. 

You've got your back to him, typing away at your computer at the kitchen table. 

"And I'm the one not allowed to have coffee after six," he says softly once he's closer. You hardly glance at him, still typing. "Love," he says, a hand gently coming to cover yours. "Do you know how late it is?" 

Your heart melts as you finally look at him. He's rubbing sleep from his eyes, knocking his glasses off kilter. He looks warm and soft around the edges. It's enticing but your work's not going to do itself. "I'll come to bed in just a minute, Jamie. I should really finish this." 

He points at the time on your computer, 3:48 blares at you and you realize how much your eyes sting from staring at the screen. "Come on," he says, his grip now a soft tug at your wrist. 

"Just let me finish this paragraph." You're trying to bargain, having the feeling you'll probably lose. 

"It can wait, love." He's looking at you with soft eyes and you can feel the warmth radiating off of him. You hear shuffling behind you. Now you're really in for it.

Remus comes into view, his oversized shirt- probably one of James’- askew on his shoulders, followed by a scowling Sirius. “How dare you make us go on a man-hunt at three in the morning.” Sirius crosses his arms trying to look angry, but he still comes up to rest his chin on your shoulder. His nose tickles your cheek, “Let’s go to bed my love.”

Remus walks further into the kitchen of your tiny apartment. You remember the day you moved in, you ate ramen over a cardboard box as a kitchen table. Now as he stands across the table from you Remus reaches over to slowly close your laptop. 

You stop him halfway, and he gives you a knowing look. “I’m really not tired, honestly I won't be able to sleep until I finish this,” you say quickly returning to typing. 

Remus sighs, looking to James for help, but it’s Sirius who comes to his aid. “Well then I guess we’re all staying up,” Sirius says, his chin digging into your shoulder and sleep muddling his words, “but when I wake up with dark circles that’s on you.”

“No go to bed, I won’t be long.” You try to focus on your work, but Sirius worms his arms under yours, wrapping around you. “Siri, please.” Your head is starting to hurt from forcing your eyes to stay open, and the warmth coming off of him only makes the fight harder. 

“What are you doing, Remus?” you ask, hearing the kitchen cabinets open and close. 

“I’m making hot chocolate.” He grabs your favorite mug from the cabinet followed by three more. 

“You don’t have to do that Rem.” Your eyes are still stinging.

“I already opened the packet.” He says it with a finality that tells you, you’ve hardly any choice in the matter.

“I’ll get the marshmallows,” James adds, sounding far too excited for this time of night. 

Before you can stop it your eyes fill with tears, blurring your computer screen. You hide your face in your hands. “Are you okay, love?” Sirius asks, suddenly sounding much more awake. You can’t stop it as much as you want to, your tears flow leaving your boyfriends flustering to help you. 

“Dove.” Remus kneels beside you. “Let’s take a break, yeah? It can wait until tomorrow.” 

You hear the soft click of your computer shutting as you nod. James holds your hand across the table. “You’re all too nice to me,” you say, it comes out half laugh half sob. 

“All that work is scrambling your brain,” Sirius says, squeezing your shoulders.

You let Remus pull you to the couch where he brushes stray tears from your cheeks. You melt into his side. He plants soft kisses into your hair. 

James and Sirius come with cups of hot chocolate almost overflowing with marshmallows. The cups are soon abandoned as the rich chocolate threatens to drag you all to sleep right on the spot. 

When you eventually make it to bed through fits of yawns and tired shuffling, you realize you’re finally exactly where you want to be. Sirius falls asleep practically on top of James.

Remus pulls the blanket to your chin. “Too nice,” he laughs quietly to himself. You swat at his arm. As you fall asleep, he listens to the rise and fall of your breath. You deserve all the niceness of the world, and he would make hot chocolate in the middle of every night if it meant you felt even a bit of it.

[gr4cier4cie]

♡ hometown glory (some things never change) ♡

or: george was your best friend. still is, if you're being honest with yourself. when your paths happen to cross by chance a decade after you last saw each other, it becomes harder and harder to deny that you really let him go. fem!childhood!bf!reader x george russell

warnings: would it be gracie without angst? NAH. thank you so so so much to @binisainz for being the reason i wrote for george XOXO!!

♡

you hear him before you see him. he's laughing when your eyes finally land, the sight of him cutting through the paddock like a perfectly-executed qualifying lap. and isn't that just so typical of george russell? always finding ways to wreck you when you least expect it, even after a decade of careful, practiced indifference. you kept your distance. he kept his. (well, you tried, anyway. worked for haas. then ferrari. a brief stint at aston martin. and now mercedes. it was chance, you reasoned. not fate.)

your feet move before your brain can catch up. (muscle memory, you'll tell yourself later. your body remembers the pull of him, the orbit of eyes you thought you'd left behind.) "george?"

his name feels foreign and familiar all at once, reminiscent of an old jumper left unworn. you watch his spine straighten (still terrible posture, some things never change), watch recognition ripple across his features like rain on a race track. and when he turns, when his eyes catch yours, you fight to breathe.

"bloody hell," he whispers, and oh–oh no, because his media smile is cracking open into something real, something that looks too much like the boy who used to climb through your window with contraband sweets and whispered dreams about a life on the track. "jesus. it's really you."

here is what no one told you about the passage of time: it's supposed to make things easier. smooth the rough edges of memories until everything feels distant and dull. but standing here, watching george's hands fidget like they used to before important races, as if he's fighting the urge to reach out to grasp your palm in his (like he used to), you feel every second of the last decade go up in smoke.

you both move forward. both stop short. because how do you greet someone who used to know every corner of your soul (and your home)? how do you greet a stranger?

you settle for a half-hug over his shoulder, reaching up to let your fingers sink into the hair at the nape of his neck. he feels the same. looks the same. sounds the same. how come, then, does everything feel so damn different? how come, then, does everything feel like it's changed?

"i watched your last race," you offer like you haven't watched every single one. like you don't still have his first karting trophy hidden in a box under your bed (the one he'd pressed into your hands with that crooked smile, insisting "it's lucky when you hold it, you know it is").

"yeah? how'd i do?" you are suddenly reminded of the way he used to practice podium speeches in your backyard during the summer months, begging you to pretend to interview him so someday, he'd be ready. "been a bit busy lately, haven't i?"

yes. yes, you have been. you laugh, but it's careful. cautious.

there are thousands of questions fighting to escape: do you still hate mushrooms? did you ever finish that book i lent you? do you ever think about that night before you left, when you looked at me like you'd miss me forever?

instead, what comes out is: "you sure have."

something flickers across his face then, something that makes your ribcage feel too small for your lungs. because this is george–your george–who used to know exactly how many sugars you took in your tea, who spent an entire summer helping you perfect your parallel parking. who promised he'd never forget you, right before he left for racing academy and disappeared from your life like smoke after a burnout.

"listen," he starts. "i've got this thing tonight, at the dorchester. terrible food. but maybe—"

"george!" a voice cuts through the moment like a safety car deployment. "five minute warning!"

he winces, and for a second, you see that little boy again, the one who always had somewhere else to be, someone else to become. who had dreams that touched the moon and back. "i have to—"

"go," you finish, because some habits are harder to break than others. "i know."

he takes a step backward, then stops. reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. "your number," he says, not quite a question. "is it still—?"

"i changed it," you reply, and watch his face fall just slightly. awareness dawns. (you're not the same as you were.) "but i'm sure you can find me. you always could."

it's only after he's gone, swallowed by the crowd and his obligations, that you realize you're shaking. because george russell still smells like lazy sunday mornings and all of his goddamn broken promises, and you're suddenly, terrifyingly certain that you never actually learned how to exist in a world where you're not in love with him.

oh, how the time flies.

♡

here's the thing about press conferences at the dorchester: george has done exactly thirty-seven of them. he knows this because he counts them now, uses them to mark time like tire compounds or engine modes or the number of times he almost called you over the years (hundreds, not that he's keeping track).

tonight makes thirty-eight, and he can't focus on a single bloody word.

"—your thoughts on the upcoming race weekend, george?"

he blinks at the sky sports microphone suddenly in his face. tries to remember how to string words together.

(because you're still here. still real. still... his. how is he supposed to think about track conditions when all he can think about is the way you'd stopped short of hugging him, like you weren't sure you had the right anymore? like you didn't know him?)

"the track conditions are..." he starts, then loses the thread completely. because his brain is stuck on replay: the way you'd said his name, soft and uncertain and achingly familiar. the way you'd looked at him like he was simultaneously the boy you used to know and a stranger wearing his face. words simply tasted like ash in his mouth.

toto shoots him a concerned look from the corner, the same look he gives when george takes a corner too hot, when he pushes the car past its limits, when he risks everything for one perfect moment.

"sorry," he manages, with a self-deprecating laugh that sounds hollow even to his own ears. "bit knackered from quali. the track conditions are looking promising, and mercedes has put in some brilliant work on the car."

somewhere in london, you're probably going about your evening, and he doesn't know what you do, where you live, if you still drink that horrible peach tea you used to love. doesn't know if you're seeing someone, if you're happy, if you think about him even half as much as he thinks about you.

that's a lie.

he knows exactly what you do–saw it on linkedin during one of those nights, when the weight of missed chances felt heavier than marble on his chest. senior engineering project manager. of course you are.

"—about your rivalry with max this season?"

christ, he's zoning out again. (he'd stalked your instagram, too, when it got really unbearable. had seen you in one of his old hats, in a post buried in your tagged photos from silverstone a few years ago. you didn't know how he'd searched the crowd that day, aching for a sight of you.)

"george." toto's voice cut in, his hand on george's shoulder breaking his reverie. "i think that's enough questions for tonight, yes?"

he pulls out his phone back in his driver's room before he can think better of it. your old number is still in his contacts, and he hovers a thumb over it, gritting his teeth.

but i'm sure you can find me. you always could.

it takes him exactly three minutes to find your current number. (being a formula one driver has its perks, and having a very efficient personal assistant is one of them.) he stares at it for so long the screen dims, brightens, then dims again.

his hands are shaking as he types. (this is somehow harder than threading the needle between two cars at 200 miles per hour.)

Do you still take your tea with four sugars?

you respond within seconds.

No. It's six now. But I'd be willing to revisit four.

he actually laughs out loud. tries to keep from finding the nearest toilet and flushing his phone down it.

Breakfast this weekend?

the three dots taunt him for a minute. then two. then three. then:

Only if you're paying.

it is terrifying, how easy it is to fall back into old patterns with you. how easy you have made it. but he is smiling when he clicks send.

Deal. See you soon. Missed you.

you heart the message. then, minutes later, respond only with:

Missed you too.

♡

mayfair isn't foreign to you.

you know its streets like you know your own heartbeat. know which galleries on mount street will let you wander for hours without buying anything you can't afford. know which bakeries have the best pastries, which corners of the layout catch the morning sun, which benches in berkeley square are perfect for people-watching.

but seeing george russell sitting in your favorite café at a table near the window, leg bouncing under the table, is foreign. new.

your breath catches in your throat. (how are you supposed to handle this? handle him? how are you supposed to walk in there and pretend that ten years ago, george russell didn't know every corner of your soul?) you could simply turn around. could text some excuse about traffic, or a meeting, or—

he looks up.

you go in.

"you're early," you say, sliding into the seat across from him, lips quirking upward. "that's new." your eyes catch on his lips as they widen; he is sharp where he used to be soft, all media smiles and crisp white collars. you force your hands to steady. (you're too fond of his instagram nowadays, scrolling through picture after picture until your eyes cross. dinners with people you don't recognize. races won, races lost. women of his past with their arms wrapped around his neck. that last one always makes you cry.)

he rolls his eyes, but there's something soft in it. something knowing. "and you're perfectly on time. that's not."

the waiter arrives, saving you from having to answer. george orders an omelet without mushrooms, and something in your chest clenches. "still hate them, then?" you ask, tilting your head. "mushrooms?"

"some things never change," he says softly.

you take a deliberate sip of your tea to avoid his eyes. (he'd ordered you four sugars. of course.) "like what?"

his fingers tap against the table. one-two-three, one-two-three, like he's counting lap times or measuring the distance between then and now. between decades. "like you."

(you're aware that george russell calculates everything. brake points and racing lines and the exact pressure needed to make a car dance on the edge of control. well, everything except the way he could have called you 520 times had he only picked up the phone once a damn week.)

"i'm not..." you start, then stop, swallowing hard. "i'm not the same."

his smile is soft. knowing. "aren't you?" you're suddenly all the more aware of the way his ice-blue gaze trails across your face, your neck, the line of your shoulders.

"i mean," you continue, lacking conviction. "i moved out of king lynn."

"your parents still live there, don't they?" george cuts in, crooking a brow. "how's your mum?"

you shrug, lifting your cup to your mouth. "she's... good. fine." she misses you, is what you didn't say. she was there for me when you left and all of a sudden life felt empty without you. she asks me about you, even now, despite the fact that we don't talk. she's still insistent on the idea that i'll be your wife, someday. "and yours?"

george huffs. "hasn't changed since you saw her last." it is strangely comforting, for him to act like ten years is nothing more than a weekend away. "she asks about you more than she asks about me, actually."

you choke, flinching. "what do you tell her?"

he looks away, caught. "usually just change the subject." his fingers resume their tapping, and you fight the urge to shadow his palms with yours, touch him for the hell of it. "are you..." he inhales sharply. "are you seeing anyone?"

you look up, startled by the change in his tone. "no."

"why?" (it's so like him, to demand explanations, wanting to know everything and anything.)

"i just can't. right now." the words fall like something breaking, like a confession you hadn't exactly meant to let loose. "there's a lot. with work, i mean. you would know."

his nod is slow. you could fool yourself into believing it is understanding if it wasn't for the slight narrowing of his eyes, the furrow of his brow. "i remember you saying london was the city of love."

that's only because you were in it, you want to scream. "that's paris," you chuckle, stirring another sugar cube into your tea. "besides, it's not... the right time for me. i haven't even been with anyone since—" oh, god.

he stares at you for a beat too long, fingers curling around his coffee cup like it's the only thing anchoring him to his seat. "do you ever think about it? that night?"

you blink once. then twice. debate not answering. "which one?"

he breathes out a laugh—soft and hollow and almost fond. fond of you. “you know which one.”

(the creak of your bedroom window as he climbed in, shoes toed off at the foot of your bed. the way you sat up, cross-legged, knees touching his as he sat beside you. your fingers in his hair while he confessed he was scared he'd never make it in the junior team all alone, that he wasn't good enough, that he'd miss you more than he thought he could miss anything. your lips brushing his, his hands trembling on your bare waist, the sunrise bleeding through your curtains as he pulled you into his chest. intimacy you let him have. a moment you let him keep. he left before your mum woke up and never came home.)

you look away. suddenly your eyes sting, and you actively steady your breath. "we were kids, george. it didn’t mean anything.”

he stiffens. his voice is quiet when he says, “it did.” then again, louder, like maybe if he says it twice it’ll matter more. “it meant everything to me.”

your answering smile holds no warmth. “but you didn’t call.”

he doesn't answer right away. just looks at you like he's seeing you again for the first time. as if you're fine art he once knew by heart, now dusted off and hung in a new gallery. it would have been easier, if he were heartless. cold.

"i was a coward," he says finally. "i thought if i stayed away from you, it would hurt less. the leaving."

you drop your eyes to the table. "yeah, well. it hurt like hell for me." he leans forward—to do what, you're not sure. to grab your hand? to press his forehead to yours like he had done when you were both nineteen, and young, and stupid, and desperately in love?

"let me make it up to you." his voice is broken. "please."

you can't bring yourself to look at him. "you can’t just—" you swallow hard. "george. you can’t just show up after a decade and expect a do-over. it's... done."

his eyes flicker down to your mouth and back up again. "don’t give me a do-over," he says, pleading. "give me a moment."

he leans across the table.

you don't stop him. not this time.

his lips are soft and sure against yours—tasting of regret and honeyed tea, ten years too late and somehow right on time. your fingers curl around the edge of the table, unable to give yourself the permission to hold him. that is, until he reaches forward and pries your white knuckles from the edge and interlaces your fingers with his. (for a second, just a second, it feels like forever.)

"some things," george whispers against your skin as you pull away, gripping the collar of his shirt for dear life, "never change."

for once, you think he might be right.

♡

note: goddamn WHY HAVE I WAITED SO LONG TO WRITE FOR GEORGE THIS WAS SO FUN i adore this concept hehe please let me know if you'd like to see childhoodbf!reader with any of the other drivers!! i also think imma keep this as a oneshot so this is where the story ends for these two!! MWAH as always!!

[theambitiouswoman]

Why slow mornings are the secret to a better day 🌞☁️☕️

We romanticize slow mornings—cozy cups of tea, soft sunlight, a little journaling, a skincare routine, stretches, mediating, walks etc. And while all of that is beautiful, no one really talks about why slow mornings are actually necessary for your nervous system

A slow morning isn’t just about having extra time—it’s about creating a foundation for a regulated nervous system and a mind that can function at its best throughout the day

In the morning, your cortisol (stress hormone) is naturally at its peak. This isn’t a bad thing—it’s your body’s way of waking you up. But if you immediately expose yourself to stress (social media, emails, rushing out the door) you amplify that cortisol spike, putting yourself into a fight or flight before the day even begins

When this becomes a pattern, your body learns to operate from a place of constant stress, leading to anxiety, irritability, brain fog and decision fatigue, blood sugar crashes, cravings, bad skin, break outs, fatigue and burnout

On the flip side, when you intentionally slow down in the morning, you send a signal to your nervous system that you are safe. And a body that feels safe is a body that can thrive

Part of being in alignment—mentally, emotionally and even spiritually—comes from choosing habits that help you in the long run. When your mind isn’t cluttered with stress and chaos first thing in the morning, your brain naturally has space to focus on what matters

For example:

If your mind isn’t cluttered by social media first thing, your brain will have room to think about ideas you couldn’t access before

If you don’t rush through breakfast, your digestion improves and you don’t spend the afternoon bloated or exhausted

If you start your day regulated, you’re less likely to get triggered by small inconveniences and other people

A slow morning isn’t about doing nothing—it’s about creating a routine that eases you into the day instead of shocking your system. It’s about being intentional and prioritizing calm over chaos

What a slow morning can look like

Waking up gently—no jarring alarms

Hydrating with lemon water before coffee

Stretching instead of scrolling

Enjoying breakfast mindfully, not in a rush

Journaling, meditating, or just sitting in silence for a bit

So, if you’ve been running on autopilot every morning, take this as your sign to slow it down. Your cortisol (and your sanity) will thank you

[hoiststowline]

responses to an overworked/sleepy s/o [w/ ultra magnus, sunstreaker, & hound]

ultra magnus

Ultra Magnus knows that he’s the biggest hypocrite in this situation, but you’ve yawned four times in the past five minutes. it sends alarms across his processor, observing the way you use the back of your hand to poorly cover such an exhausted gesture. somehow, this less than gentle alert that your body was tired was not enough, yourself shuffling through a stack of papers as you carry on with little qualms. Magnus can feel his optic twitch, unable to quietly fight the urge to knock some sense into you about your health and well-being. adjusting to time and your schedule has come a little easier to him, mostly due to finding himself in your company on a daily basis. understanding what he does now, he finds self-assurance in calling you out about getting some rest, the hour far past the original time you had set to get some rest. 

“y/n?” he rumbles, slightly baffled that you don’t even offer your undivided attention, acknowledging him with a noise he can’t quite label. a thought passes him by: is this how other mechs feel when he’s drowning in paperwork? “It is very late. Perhaps you would do better to pick this up in the morning?” 

finally, your eyes tear away from the papers to meet his, and then Magnus is whacked with the realization he has to stand firm here. you must’ve been at this for hours, fatigue and enervation translating well enough from your gaze and pouring down the rest of your body. “Sorry. Run that by me again?” 

“I will do no such thing,” he’s good at being the bad guy, the one who has to play fair and look out for others. but for you? he’s willing to beg, stand firm in seeing you get some much deserved, and earned sleep. “This will be here when you awake. Rest.” 

your pout works on him, and the worst part of it all is you must know it does. “Five more minutes?” you plead, trying your best to stifle a yawn that Magnus sees far too easily. every bone in your body begs you to relent, but stubbornness finds you once more as you think of all the studying that needs to be done before tomorrow. 

“No.” he’s caged you between two massive hands, leaning forward until you’re forced to meet his stare and not the copious amounts of work spread out around the berth. “You cannot use my own tactics against me. Bed, now.”

sunstreaker

something wakes Sunstreaker up about three hours into his recharge, and with little investigation he comes to find you on the other side of the room. after you’d said three hours ago you’d join him in ten minutes, that turned out to be the biggest lie in the world. disoriented and mildly irritated, his brow furrows when he calls your name, confused as to why you jump in surprise. everything about you breathes burnout, eyes glassy as they eventually lock with his across the room. were you so consumed and entranced by that textbook that you hadn’t heard him grumble under his breath before calling out to you? how dare such a stupid object hold your attention and not him, slowly losing his already depleted patience. 

“Get over here.” Sunstreaker hums, trying once to be nice instead of brash. he’s come to take a second to mull over his words before they leave his voice box, trying his damndest to say what he means the first time. yet, this time, instead of pulling away from your study materials, you only dive deeper. 

“I’ll be right there,” you whisper, as if he was still in and out of recharge. “Just have to finish this chapter, and-” you squeak as he abruptly stands from the berth, lumbering over to where you were sitting on his desk. fumbling with the textbook, your finger saves the page before you close it over, trying your best to appear defiant and adamant, but losing miserably. “What are you doing?” 

“What am I doing?” Sunstreaker counters, expecting no reply. “You said ‘ten more minutes’ hours ago. Bed, or I throw that book.” 

you appear miserable. the happiness that normally contradicts his irritable behavior is nowhere to be found, something that concerns him greatly. you had mentioned earlier in the week about an upcoming test that was stressing you out, but now this studying venture has crossed over into territory that enrages Sunstreaker. you weren’t taking care of yourself, unworried about how a newfound weariness preoccupies you. whenever you speak ill of yourself or doubt your abilities, it seizes him so greatly that he can’t focus on anything else. don’t you know how much he loves you, and knows you’ll do great things, no matter what? 

somehow, you know he means it, sighing in defeat. “Fine, fine.” with a small smile, you close the book over with a defeated sigh. “Sorry. The test is in two days.” 

to your surprise, Sunstreaker mumbles his words, but the sincerity is overwhelming. “I’ll try to help you study tomorrow. But now, bed, and I mean it.” 

hound

you’ve certainly done a lot of typing in the past couple of hours, Hound has noticed. enough that with each hour that slips by, it’s time for him to wrap his tasks up and fully join your company, excited to hear about what you’ve been up to and relax into the evening with no issue. except, that’s mostly thrown out the window as he takes in your body language, surveying the way your palm runs over your face and rubs at your eyes, only to return to your laptop seconds later. the light from the screen illuminates your features, but all Hound can focus on is how your shoulders slump forward, a glasiness overtaking your eyes that he can’t quite decipher the reason behind. you’re clearly spent, drained of the day's responsibilities as they now carry over into time that should be spent away from the computer. 

“y/n?” he tries, using the tip of his digit to run down the length of your leg, vying for your attention, selfish as that may be to admit. “Y’alright? Busy day?” 

for a moment, you pull away from the laptop, blinking wildy before realizing it was only Hound. everything in you yearned to just shut the computer and set this aside for another time, but the idea of being ahead tomorrow entranced you far too much. “I’m good! I’d just like to finish this up, I swear I’m almost done.” famous last words. 

your slight startle at his touch and words worried him, the way you appear so disconnected from reality as you are solely focused on typing a report that didn’t need to be completed at this very moment. though your overworked and tired demeanor concerns him greatly, Hound is willing to yield if only to respect your wishes. he cares so deeply for you that perhaps just this once, he’d overlook the fact that you probably really needed some shut-eye now. it’s like overriding a code, Hound feels as if he’s programmed to look out for everyone and their health, you always residing as his top priority. always number one on his list, finding that sometimes you unintentionally neglect your wellbeing, himself guilty of similar behaviors. 

but then you don’t stick to your original plans. more time has escaped you, and Hound’s fretting has skyrocketed to the point where he isn’t ashamed to implore you to get some rest. “Yer exhausted,” he rumbles, broad shoulders drooping as you tear your eyes away from the screen to massage at your temples once more. “Don’t overwork yourself. It ain’t worth it, ah know it first hand.” 

doing what Hound asks of you is an easy feat, as forfeit finds you. with a sleepy smile, you power down the computer and set it to the side to be tomorrow's problem. this time was precious with him, sacred and not effortless to come by. “Sorry.” you stumble over your words, trying to stifle a yawn in the meantime. “I’m alright. It’s done for the evening.”

[mistyshane30]

You Were Never Mine to Lose (Chapter 1)

Synopsis:  Governor Agatha Harkness has spent the last fifteen years building a life—managing her political career, raising two children, and maintaining a stable, if unremarkable, marriage. But when an old friend’s wedding reunion forces her back into the orbit of Y/N, the woman who has always been both her rival and her constant, Agatha finds herself facing a past she thought was settled.  For Y/N, the past was never left behind. Seventeen years of silent love, of watching Agatha from the sidelines, and now, after seven years apart, they’re set to spend two weeks together in Malibu. As old tensions reignite and buried truths surface, Y/N faces a choice—continue hiding her feelings or finally confess what has always been in her heart. 

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Subtle Angst, Mentions of alcohol consumption, Mild language

A/N: This is my first time writing a fic, so please bear with me. Thanks, everyone!

The hum of the Washington State Capitol was a familiar comfort. The steady rhythm of work—meetings, policies, press conferences—kept Agatha Harkness grounded. Here, everything had an order. A structure. 

She sat behind her desk, fingers skimming over dense legislative reports. An education funding bill. A proposal on environmental regulations. A briefing on an upcoming press event. Her mind processed the words, but something in her chest felt restless. 

Then a new email popped up. 

She barely glanced at it—probably another message from her husband reminding her about their son's soccer match. Instead, her eyes caught the subject line. 

From: Jennifer Kale 

Subject: Bachelorette Trip – Malibu Reunion! 

Agatha’s brows furrowed. 

Jennifer Kale was getting married? She supposed it had been a long time since they last spoke. Between political campaigns, raising two kids, and keeping Washington State from descending into legislative chaos, friendships had faded into the background. 

She clicked. 

Ags, it’s been too long. We need this. Two weeks. Malibu. Just the six of us. Like old times. No excuses. 

She scrolled down to the names. 

Agatha Harkness. Wanda Maximoff. Lilia Calderu. Alice Wu-Gulliver. 

And then— 

Y/N. 

“Shit.” 

Her office door cracked open. “Governor?” 

Agatha snapped her laptop shut. “What?” 

Her assistant, Mallory, poked her head in. “Your husband’s on the line.” 

Agatha exhaled through her nose. “Tell him I’ll call back.” 

Mallory hesitated. “Are you sure? He said it was—” 

“I’ll. Call. Back.” 

The door shut. Silence. 

Agatha reopened her laptop, staring at the email like it might set itself on fire. 

Seven years. 

Seven years since she last saw Y/N. Seven years since their last fight—something petty, something stupid, something that left them not speaking. Not that it was anything new. 

She could already hear Y/N’s voice, that maddening, teasing lilt. 

"Of all the men in the world, you chose him?" 

Her jaw clenched. It had always been like this. Since college. Since their first meeting, when Jennifer dragged her to some ridiculous off-campus party. 

Before she could stop it, the memory crept in—uninvited, unwelcome, dragging her back twenty years to a cramped off-campus house, where the air was thick with cheap beer and sweat, music rattled the walls, and exhaustion clung to her like a second skin. 

The first time Agatha met you, she was running on caffeine, stress, and pure stubbornness, barely tolerating the mid-semester burnout that came with her fourth year of law school. She had no business being at that party, but somehow, Jennifer had convinced her to leave her textbooks and attend a party. 

Agatha had barely walked through the door when she was regretting her life choices. The air smelled of beer and sweat, the bass-heavy music rattled the floor, and students were packed into the tiny off-campus house like sardines in bad decisions. 

“I don’t have time for this,” Agatha muttered, gripping a red plastic cup with mild disgust. The thought of wasting precious hours on meaningless small talk made her skin itch. 

Jennifer just smirked. “It’s a social experiment. You need to interact with people outside of your case studies.” 

“I interact,” Agatha deadpanned. 

“Insulting your professors doesn’t count.” 

Before Agatha could argue, Jennifer’s eyes lit up, waving someone over. 

“Ags, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is—” 

“The legendary Agatha Harkness,” a voice cut in. 

You leaned against the couch, drink in hand, watching her like she was something to be analyzed. Like you already knew her. 

"Governor-in-the-making," you added, smirking. 

Agatha barely spared you a glance. “That’s ambitious.” 

But inwardly, she studied you—carefully. 

Too polished for this kind of party. The kind of rich girl who never had to pull an all-nighter to make up for working two jobs. The kind who could float through life, charming your way past every obstacle. 

Your gaze flickered over her, unbothered. “You look like you haven’t slept in three days.” 

Agatha huffed. “I haven’t.” 

“Charming.” 

Jennifer snorted. “And here I thought you two would get along.” 

Agatha ignored her, already disliking the lazy amusement in your expression. Like she was some puzzle you were trying to solve. 

You, on the other hand, were intrigued. 

Sharp eyes. Sharper tongue. 

Agatha Harkness was all edges—buttoned-up, stiff posture, carrying herself like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. And yet, you saw cracks in the armor. The exhaustion, the slight twitch of her jaw. Tired. Overworked. Maybe even lonely. 

Fascinating. 

Then— 

“So, Agatha,” you drawled, tilting your head. “Are you always this serious, or is that just for special occasions?” 

Agatha narrowed her eyes. “Are you always this irritating, or is that just for me?” 

You grinned, shifting closer, as if delighted to have found a new toy to prod. 

“Oh, definitely just for you,” you mused. “I like a challenge.” 

Agatha bristled at that, ready to fire back, but Jennifer had already dragged her away. And yet, that smirk lingered in Agatha’s mind for days. 

You, meanwhile, watched her retreat with a slow sip of your drink, already knowing— 

This one is going to be fun. 

You didn’t know then how much fun it would be. How, by some twist of fate, that night was just the beginning—of too many late-night debates, too many sharp-edged conversations, too many years of pretending you weren’t waiting for something that would never happen. 

But before any of that, before things got complicated, there were six of you. 

Jennifer. Wanda. Lilia. Alice. Agatha. You. 

A chaotic, unexpected mix of personalities, bound by late-night study sessions, heated debates, and too much alcohol. 

Jennifer was the self-proclaimed leader, effortlessly charming and the glue that held everyone together. Wanda was quiet but terrifyingly sharp when she chose to speak, and over time, you became closest to her. She saw through your deflections, your teasing, and never let you get away with anything. You trusted her, sometimes more than you trusted yourself. 

Lilia was the mother of the group, offering wisdom between sips of tea and drags of her cigarette. Alice was the reckless one, dragging everyone into trouble with a laugh and no regrets. 

And then there was you and Agatha. 

At war. Always. 

Every gathering, every conversation—banter. 

"You’re wound tighter than my father’s stock portfolio, Agatha." "And you’re about as useful as an unpaid intern." 

"I’d be a delightful intern." "You’d be fired within the hour." 

You grated on each other. You pushed Agatha’s buttons, and Agatha shoved back. 

Once, Lilia muttered, "You two argue like an old married couple." 

You had smirked. "Maybe in another life." 

Agatha never responded. 

And you? You never pushed further. Not out loud. Not where Agatha could see. 

But there were moments. 

Moments when your fights turned into something else. Something charged. 

Like the time Agatha had stormed out of a group dinner, only for you to find her outside minutes later, pressing a cigarette into her hand. No words. Just a shared silence. 

Or the time you had dragged a half-asleep Agatha from the library, forcing her to eat because “I refuse to watch you die from stubbornness.” 

You fought. You always fought. 

But you had always cared. 

Not that Agatha ever made it easy. She had a way of brushing things off, of making you feel like you were the unreasonable one for giving a damn. And maybe you were. Maybe that was just how the two of you worked—pushing, prodding, never letting up. 

It had been years since you last saw her. Years since your last fight. 

Your phone buzzed, disturbing the gentle rhythm of the masseuse’s hands working over your shoulders. 

A low groan left your lips. “If it’s not about millions of dollars or an engine catching fire, it can wait.” 

Your assistant’s voice came from somewhere near the spa entrance. “It’s an email. From Jennifer Kale.” 

That made you open one eye. 

“Read it.” 

The sound of a notification dinged, followed by your assistant clearing their throat. “Subject: Bachelorette Trip – Malibu Reunion.” 

You exhaled through your nose, letting your head sink back into the massage table. “And?” 

“She’s inviting you to a two-week getaway. The whole group. Agatha included.” 

Your entire body tensed. Not because of the massage—because of one simple fact. 

Agatha was coming. 

Seven years of silence. Seven years of pretending you were fine. 

The masseuse paused. “You okay?” 

You exhaled, forcing your muscles to relax. “Yeah. Keep going.” 

But you weren’t okay. 

You should be over this. 

But you weren’t. 

You never were. 

Not when you built an empire from the ground up. Not when you inherited your father’s company and turned it into something untouchable. Not even when you filled your nights with meaningless flings, trying to bury a ghost that refused to stay dead. 

And now? 

Now you had two weeks in Malibu with Agatha Harkness. 

With the one person you never quite managed to let go of. 

You closed your eyes. 

This was going to be a disaster. 

Meanwhile, Agatha’s fingers hovered over the keyboard. 

Declining would be easy. 

She could already draft the response: "Thank you, but I have obligations as Governor." Something polite. Formal. The perfect excuse. 

And yet— 

She could hear your voice in her head already. 

Oh, too busy for us, Governor? Afraid you’ll actually have fun? 

Her jaw ticked. You never failed to get under her skin. 

A knock at her office door pulled her from her thoughts. 

“Governor?” Her assistant peeked in. “You have a meeting in ten minutes.” 

Agatha nodded, rubbing her temple. “Right. Thank you.” 

As the door clicked shut, she exhaled sharply. 

Maybe it was time to settle this. To finally face you. 

Before she could talk herself out of it, she typed: 

Fine. I’m in. 

And hit send. 

Immediately, regret sank in. 

She knew exactly what was coming. 

A storm. 

And you, at the center of it. 

[prismuffin]

Omg! Okay so I just thought of the cuties thing in opinion! And wanted to do an ask of it!!

So, Male Reader is a shape-shifting alien kinda like Marsion's (Ex:Mee-gan ), but they can only be in a form that is not their true form for a limited time. Like 16hrs or something, after that, they shift back to their real form, unless they are in like fight or flight mode. After the time is up their behavior is that of an autistic that is burnout or overstimulated.

The MaleReader's true form basically looks very similar to an Earth's panther (i.e big cat) expect it has 4 sets of eyes and has a pure white coat with red patterns.

So! How would Dick, Jason, Tim, Wally and Conner (sperately) react to Alien MaleReader doing the cat behavior of 'if I fits, I sits' after seeking them out to take a nap and recharge?

Ex: Jason wanting some peace reading while laying on the couch, and reader just climbs his way up the back of the couch, to carefully place himself in between Jason's side and the couch cushions.

I'm working on some full fics but as to not let my blog seem dead I'll get this ask out the way! Anyways I think that-

Dick was in the kitchen making himself some lunch. For once, he decided to sit down at the table to eat instead of going to his room. He was sort of surprised to see you in your true form creeping your way over to him. He, at first, thought you wanted some of his food which he was not gonna give to you but instead you simply shrunk down underneath his chair. Squeezing yourself through the legs of the seat and resting your head on his foot. He was confused but just let it happen, sighing as he realized he was stuck with the cat curse and now he cant move because you're laying on him.

Jason would be sitting on the couch, finally glad to find a rare moment of quiet. He was simply relaxing until you came in, you were in your true form so he didn't think you'd be too much of a distraction. But he was wrong when you walked up to him and practically draped yourself across his lap, resting your head on a nearby pillow. You exhaled deeply and just closed your eyes, joining him in his relaxation session. He looked around at the rest of empty spaces on the couch before looking back at you, shaking his head with a slight smirk he just let you lay on him since you were warm.

Tim would probably be working, mumbling to himself about god knows what when you'd walked into his lab. He turned when he'd heard his door open and greeted you as he saw you enter, asking if you needed anything. You didn't answer and simply walked up to him, rubbing yourself against his legs with your tail held high before diving between his legs. Because of your size he had to steady himself as to not fall over. He let out a surprised gasp before trying to push you out but you wouldn't budge. When he did successfully get you out from underneath him you just followed him and did it again and again. If this was your way of getting him to stop overworking himself so much it is kind of working.

Wally had recently gotten a new package and boy was he happy, besides the fact that he had to assemble it himself. So he sat on the floor of his room trying to put together a gaming chair, screwing together two parts that look like they definitely shouldn't fit that way but that's besides the point. You'd entered his room and he'd given you a quick greeting before going back to building his chair. He'd heard some shuffling from where you were and turned to ask what you were doing only to see you fitting yourself within the large box that his chair had come in. You'd successfully smushed yourself down enough to fit perfectly in the box and he couldn't help but laugh at the sight. He took a picture, ignoring the soft glare you were giving him.

Conner would be resting and taking some time for himself not really doing much sadly. It was a rather boring day so he just sat himself on the couch, submitting to the mindless entertainment that the tv offers. Sooner or later you walked into the common room, spotting the kryptonian you moved over to him before shoving yourself under his legs. He was confused at first and asked what you were doing but didn't get much of a response besides a semi-sassy look as you just laid down and closed your eyes. He didn't move as your presence simply added to the comforting feeling of the couch especially since you were practically a warm footrest for him.

———

Directory

[liorabb]

“the weight he carries”

warnings: mentions of stress and burnout, emotional vulnerability,crying,mild angst with comfort & etc

The front door slammed shut so hard the walls seemed to tremble. You barely had time to set down your book before the sound of heavy footsteps thundered through the house.

Rafe was home. And he was angry.

You knew that kind of anger. The kind that simmered just beneath his skin, that made his jaw clench so tight it could snap. You didn’t have to see him to know—his presence alone was suffocating.

You followed the sound of his footsteps toward his office, the only place he ever retreated to when the weight of the world felt too heavy on his shoulders. The door wasn’t locked, but you hesitated for a moment before pushing it open.

He stood with his back to you, his fingers pressed into the desk so hard his knuckles turned white. Papers were scattered everywhere. A glass of whiskey, untouched, sat beside a stack of reports. His tie was loose, his shirt slightly unbuttoned, his hair disheveled like he’d run his hands through it a thousand times.

“Rafe?” You spoke softly, your voice cutting through the silence like a blade.

He didn’t turn right away. His shoulders rose and fell with deep, uneven breaths. You could almost hear the battle inside him—rage fighting exhaustion, frustration swallowing control.

“I don’t want to talk right now.” His voice was hoarse, edged with something vulnerable he was trying desperately to hide.

That only made you step closer. “I don’t care.”

Finally, he turned. His eyes, usually sharp with arrogance, were dull and tired. The anger in them was fading, replaced with something heavier—something that made your chest tighten.

You reached for him without thinking. Your hand pressed against his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your palm.

“Rafe…” You trailed off, unsure of what to say.

His lips parted like he wanted to respond, but instead, he exhaled shakily and collapsed into his chair, burying his face in his hands. His broad shoulders hunched, his whole body sinking as if he was caving in on himself.

You didn’t hesitate. You stepped between his legs, running your fingers through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. His breath hitched. His arms came around your waist, and before you knew it, he was pulling you onto his lap, burying his face against your neck.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he whispered, his voice raw.

Your heart ached at the way he held onto you—like you were the only thing keeping him from falling apart completely.

“You don’t have to do it alone,” you murmured, running your fingers through his hair. “I’m here, Rafe.”

His grip on you tightened. “It never stops. The meetings, the expectations, the pressure—” His voice cracked, and for the first time, you felt it. A single tear against your skin.

Rafe Cameron never cried.

But tonight, he did.

And you held him through it.

You pressed soft kisses to his temple, his cheek, anywhere you could reach. “You’re going to be okay.”

He didn’t argue. Didn’t fight it. He just exhaled, his body slowly relaxing against yours.

And then, as his breathing evened out, as the tension left his muscles, Rafe fell asleep in your arms.

Safe.

Finally at peace.

[13uswntimagines]

Spiral (Alessia Russo X MMA!R)

Request: Could you maybe do something where less isn’t around to help r through something and r is spiraling more and more while needing someone to bring her back. One of Alessia's teammates has to kind of shout at r and tell her to kneel or something for her to be grounded featuring Mary (and Lucy slightly)

Part of The come Down universe

Warming: D/s elements. Blood and violence (mentioned but nothing graphic- R punches a wall several times).

It was easy for people to believe that you had an easy life, filled with nothing more than champagne problems and affluenza. 

All they saw were the press conferences and interviews after fights where you were riding high on your success. They didn’t see the weeks where you trained upwards of 18 hours a day and ate so strictly that even your water content was measured. 

They didn’t see how difficult it was to balance your career and Alessia’s, and the weeks you sometimes went apart. 

They didn’t see the nagging injuries that followed you like old ghosts. 

And they thought the 1% of your life they saw was enough context for them to make assumptions about the rest of your life, including your relationship with your girlfriend. 

You had never been big on social media, but that didn’t mean you were entirely shielded from it. 

Especially not when the date for your title fight against Justin Gathje was announced. 

Dana wanted you to hype the fight, to make a comment about how wild Justin was in the cage, and how your far more technical style would be a good match. 

And you thought the spare moments you had sitting in Alessia’s national team cubby while she did her final lap around Wembley for the fans was the perfect moment. 

But as you flicked through your Twitter app, you, realized very quickly that it was a terrible idea. 

Justin had already commented on the fight and accompanied his post with pictures of you in the stands a Wembley dressed in your girlfriend's jersey and one of him sweating in the gym. 

I think a championship contender should at least be putting in the work instead of fucking off with a bitch who deserves better. #gonnasilencethegolddigger

You knew that it was a stupid post. It made no sense because the fight was 20 weeks away, and starting training camp now, three days post-fight, would only lead to burnout and injuries. 

You knew that it was completely untrue considering you had met Alessia at UNC where you had a nice wrestling scholarship and she had a soccer one. There had been no gold to dig. 

But that didn’t stop the general public from hopping on the hate train. 

There were thousands of replies, and mentions and posts clogging your feed about how undeserving you were. 

About how awful of a fighter you were. 

About how Alessia deserved someone who could support her. 

But it wasn’t the comments from the general public that bothered you. 

It was the ones from her former teammates that dug into your brain and stuck. 

Her own family didn’t want her so much they shipped her off to America, so it’s sad she’s dragged a stand-up baller like Lessie into her mess. She didn’t deserve her state championship either. #alwaysridingcoattails.

Her own family didn’t want her

Dragged Lessie into her mess

The words burned into your mind, so you saw them every time you closed your eyes, getting more and more bold each time the number of interactions went up. 

1000

15,000

300,000

2,000,000

You launched your phone across the room, uncaring how it smashed into a million pieces on the stone like it would smash the image on the screen. 

Like it would shatter the tweet and the shots coming from people who had never met you. 

Like it would change how right they were. 

You breathed in deeply, trying to quell the growing ache in your chest and soothe the feelings bubbling in your stomach. 

Alessia’s scent surrounded you, filling your lungs and coating all of your senses. It was normally like a balm on an open wound or ice for a burn, the remedy to your anxiety and a promise that she was there for you. 

That she would always be there. 

That promise was part of the reason your relationship took the dynamic it did. 

Except this time, her scent didn’t loosen the knot in your chest. 

It just reminded you how much you took from her. How much better off she would have been if you had never run into her at UNC. 

You shoved yourself out of Alessia’s locker, you didn’t deserve to sit in it and paced the small room. 

The walls felt like they were getting closer together, and the air felt too heavy. 

You couldn’t breathe.

You needed release. 

You paused at the far end of the room, staring at the white concrete. 

Your fist hit the cold concrete before you even thought about it, and you relished in the pressure of the hard surface on your exposed knuckles. It was more than when you hit pads, more than when you hit someone else. 

It was perfect. 

You did it again. 

You weren’t enough. You hadn’t been for your parents. You wouldn’t be enough for Alessia either. 

Your fist hit the wall again. 

That’s what everyone had been saying for months. That’s what your father told you when you tried to make amends. 

You could see how right they were. 

Stupid worthless 

You hit the wall again. 

How much better off they would be without you. 

“Y/n?”

You didn’t even blink at Ella’s voice. 

You weren’t good enough. How could you ever be?

You had been birthed by two drug addicts more interested in their own highs than in raising a child. Your neighborhood MMA gym was the only place you had ever found food and safety. How could you ever be enough for Alessia who had been raised by loving parents? Who didn’t have to scrape and claw for food scraps? 

Who didn’t crave the freedom you found in total violence. In the destruction of a human. 

In the destruction of herself. 

“Y/n stop,” 

Hands gripped your shoulder, trying to prevent your arm from moving as you launched it again at the slightly pink wall. 

It didn’t work. 

Your hand slammed into the wall again. 

It wasn’t enough. It didn’t hurt enough to ease the volcano in your chest. 

You needed more. 

“Y/n please,” 

Ella’s voice sounded very close to your ear and stinger arms wrapped around your stomach, trying to force you away.

A guttural sound left your lips as the arms were finally able to pull you away, and Lucy stepped between you and your only solace. 

You needed it. 

“Calm down,” Mary hissed, her arms tugging you again. 

You were too out of it to wonder when she had gotten there. 

“Go get Alessia,” Lucy said, looking over your shoulder towards who you assumed was Ella. “Now,” 

You fought against the arms restraining you. 

Keeping you from the only thing that would make the ripping feeling in your brain go quiet. 

The door slammed shut and you were forced back another step by strong arms. 

“Y/n you need to relax, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Lucy held her hands up as she took a step towards you like you were a wild animal. 

And you supposed you were. 

Wild and out of control. Spiraling into oblivion. 

Lucy Met Mary’s eyes when you fought harder in the keeper's hold, your eyes wildly flickering as your limbs flailed. 

This was well out of their ability to fix. 

“We have to do it,” Lucy said, and Mary instantly knew what she meant. 

Mary nodded once. 

She knew you better than Lucy did, so she knew it had to be her if they wanted it to work. 

It was the only thing she could think of to help you. 

The thing that Alessia would do for you 

They had only seen it happen once. 

It was the only time the keeper had seen your dynamic's heavier side. The only time Alessia looked truly dominant, and you looked submissive. 

Mary squared her shoulders, drawing up to her full height, picturing in her mind the way Alessia had touched you and the tone that she had used. Soft, but dripping in authority that had shocked Mary. 

She tried to remember the words your girlfriend had used, the way her fingers pressed perfectly into your skin to make you melt. 

She pulled away from you slightly, drawing her hand from your stomach to land heavily on the space where your shoulder met your neck. 

“Y/n,” She said mimicking the sheer dominance that Alessia’s voice held that night. “I think that’s enough darling. Kneel for me,” 

You froze. 

A shiver ran the full length of your spine at the familiar words, and your shoulders rolled like a physical weight had been added to them. 

You blinked as the order filtered through the fog in your brain, registering that though it was familiar, the voice that had given it was not. 

Her arm loosened around your middle as all of the fight left you, but she kept the grounding hand on your neck. 

You leaned into it, breathing in through your nose and very slowly releasing it through your clenched teeth. 

You sagged with each exhale, sinking very slowly until you were kneeling at Mary’s feet. 

Your head bowed, and you rested your hands palm up on your knees as another rattling breath left you, pressing back into the hand still on your neck like it was the only thing keeping you from floating away into oblivion.

Mary stood frozen, staring at you as you fixed your posture (Alessia hated it when you slouched) and all of the tension, her eyes darting up to meet Lucy’s. 

She hadn’t been sure that it would work. That you would listen to it because she wasn’t Alessia. But now that it had, she wasn’t sure what to do. 

She didn’t know what came next, or how to navigate it without crossing your boundaries. 

“Good job Y/n,” Lucy said, keeping her voice as soft as Mary’s. “We’re just going to stay here and calm down, alright?”

You let out another shuddering breath, more ripples quaking down your spine, and Mary very gently ran her thumb in circles at the back of your neck, hoping it would help to keep you settled. 

She knew it was the touch Alessia always took when you were anxious or nervous, but she was also very much aware that she was not Alessia. 

“And then we’ll get one of the trainers to look at your hand after Lessie gets here,” The defender continued, her eyes trained on where your jeans were slowly turning red with the blood from your hand. 

“But for now, we’re going to just stay right here,” Mary repeated, letting her thumb graze the nape of your neck. 

*******

“Less,” Ella’s voice cut through the sounds of the fans calling for Alessia’s attention, the panic in it drawing the strikers eyes before the midfielder skidded to a stop beside her. 

“What’s happened?” Alessia asked, passing the shirt she was signing back to the young girl who had handed it to her. 

“Y/n,” Ella panted, her eyes wide, afraid despite the cameras pointed their way. “I’ve never seen her like that,” 

Alessia frowned, turning away from the fans and wrapping an arm around Ella’s shoulder to give them some semblance of privacy. 

“Seen her like what?” She asked, her tone low with something… darker lingering under the surface. 

Ella shook her head, unable to describe it with words. “I need you to come, quickly,” 

“Ok,” Alessia agreed, following after the midfielder with little question. 

She knew that whatever had happened had to be bad to cause that look. To have Ella say it in front of the fans. 

Ella sprinted back towards the tunnel with Alessia on her heels, weaving between equipment people, and players until they reached the locker room. 

Leah stood outside the door, directing players to the other showers. 

Alessia’s frown deepened. “What’s going on?”

“We thought a smaller audience would be better,” Leah murmured, stepping aside for them. “Looks pretty brutal mate,” 

Ella patted her back and she stepped towards the door, steeling herself for whatever was inside as she pressed it open. 

Her breath caught in her chest as she took in the scene in front of her. 

It looked like something out of a slasher film. 

Red covered one of the white stone walls, dripping onto the gray floor in dime-sized circles to where you were sitting. No kneeling between Mary and Lucy, a dark patch forming from where it had soaked into your jeans. 

Her jaw clenched at your position. 

It was hard for people to understand but kneeling was something… intimate between the two of you. It was a show of the trust that you had for her to take care of you. A way to reinforce the power dynamic in your relationship. 

It had taken you a long time to feel comfortable enough to let yourself be vulnerable enough to kneel for her, and she treasured how willing you were now. How you seemed to… crave the position. 

For someone else to put you there didn’t sit well with her. 

Neither did the way Mary’s hand was holding the back of your neck. 

“What happened?” She grit out, her eyes flitting between your form and the two women on your either side. 

“we’re not entirely sure. We just caught the tail end,” Mary murmured, her thumb rubbing soothing circles onto your skin. 

Your eyes were closed, but Alessia could see the tension in your posture. She could see how on edge you were. 

How close you were to subspace. 

She snooker her head. “And you thought that this was the solution?”

She wanted to scream at her friends. To give them a lecture about consent and safety and trust (even though you wouldn’t be kneeling for them if you didn’t trust them). 

They didn’t know your boundaries. This hadn’t been discussed. What if it went wrong and they didn’t recognize the signs of you passing the point of consent? 

She knew you often leaned into the dynamic you shared to calm down. To let go, but she knew your limits. She knew your safe word. 

She knew all of the signs to look for, because you craved pain when you felt unstable (a habit that had lingered from your childhood), and you wouldn’t always vocalize your limits. 

She worried how far backward you would slip after this. 

“It was the only way I could think of to get her to calm down. She wasn’t responding to anything else Less,” Mary explained, her voice very soft and gentle. “I tried to do exactly what you do,” 

“We also stayed away from honorifics,” Lucy added. “We knew we were overstepping a bit as it was and didn’t want to push further than we had to,” 

Alessia wanted to snort that overstepping was an understatement, but she didn’t. 

That wouldn’t help you. 

Avoiding honorifics had been a very thoughtful touch. 

That would have sent you careening into sub-space, and she doubted either of them could have handled that. 

“Alright,” She said, taking a deep breath. 

She would need to talk to them later, but right now, her priority was you. 

And getting to the bottom of what happened. 

Of what changed in the 10 minutes you had been left alone. 

She settled herself on the bench, placing her sweatshirt on the ground near her feet to act as a cushion for you, and taking a deep calming breath before she let her eyes fall on you. 

“Babygirl,” Her voice came out stern, but not angry, and for the first time, you raised your gaze from the floor to meet hers. “Come here,” 

She gestured towards the spot at her feet, and without hesitating, you carefully pulled out of Mary’s grasp and crawled to her. 

Her fingers weaved through your hair, and she guided you to rest your cheek on her thigh once you settled on the sweatshirt. “What’s going on sweet one? Talk to me,”

You nuzzled into the soft skin of her leg as her nails dragged against your scalp, trying to remember how to speak. 

How to form words that would accurately describe the tearing feeling in your chest. 

“Not enough,”

The words were horse as they left your lips, heavy and wet like they had been pulled from the depths of your soul. 

Alessia hummed, her nails digging more deeply into your hair. “What’s not enough?”

Your breath rattled in your chest, shaking through you to your core. 

At the depths of it, you were not enough. 

You would never be enough. 

“I’ll go get a doc,” Lucy murmured before you heard the sound of the door. 

“What is not enough,” Alessia asked again, more insistent. 

“I’m not enough, Miss,” You said, your voice barely above a whisper. 

Alessia tutted. “We both know that’s not true,” 

You groaned. 

It was true. The whole internet believed it. 

“It is,” You insisted, pulling away from her warm hold to meet her eyes. “Everyone believes it,” 

“Who is everyone?” Alessia pressed, staying calm and even. Being your stability. 

“I think this has something to do with it,” Mary said, and your eyes snapped to her, where she was holding your demolished phone, the tweets still lighting up the screen. 

You had forgotten she was still here. 

“What is it?” 

Alessia held her free hand out for it, using the other to settle you back against her thigh. 

“Bullshit,” Mary answered, passing the phone to your dominant, moving slowly around you, like she was afraid to spook you. 

Alessia hummed, flicking through the images on your cracked screen. 

The room was silent as she read the words that had set you off, and you let your eyes slide closed, enjoying her closeness. 

Enjoying the ability to let go, and trust that she would take care of it. 

You ignored the sound of the door opening again, and feet approaching you and Alessia. You didn’t care if people saw you. You knew that she would defend you if you needed it. 

“Sweet girl,” Alessia said, fingers tightening in your hair, and you opened your eyes to meet hers over the phone. “Let them look at your hands,” 

Your eyes flickered towards the medics, kneeling in front of you, Lucy standing protectively behind them with Mary. 

You hummed, slowly lifting your dominant hand and holding it out towards the medic. 

He took it gently between his own and began to examine it with a frown. 

“I think she needs x-rays,” He said, looking over you towards Alessia who was still scrolling through your feed. “And I can wrap it after that,” 

“Alright,” She said, putting your phone down. “We’ll meet you in the training room in just a moment. Can you three give us a second?”

The medic nodded, retreating with Mary and Lucy.

“Take your time,” Mary paused in the doorway. “Me and Luce will get cleaned up and meet you,” 

Alessia let out a sound of agreement. 

She waited for the door to close before she very gently pulled you up from your knees and into her lap. 

You rested your cheek on her chest, tucking your nose into her still-sweaty jersey. 

This time her scent didn’t set you on edge. It joined the feeling of her warm arms wrapped around you and her chin on your head, making you feel safe and warm and cared for, even when you didn’t think you deserved it. 

“You know all of those tweets are bullshit right?” She asked after your breathing had evened out. “They’re just trying to get under your skin,”

You made a low noise, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. 

“You are deserving because you are amazing. You are an incredible fighter, and a good human despite the shit hand you were dealt,” She continued. “I love you, and I will always be here for you. Whether you are the world champion, or we’re eating spam and crackers on my bedroom floor,” 

Your eyes slid closed and you buried your face in her chest, your lips lifting just a bit at the mention of your favorite snack from college. 

From when you were too broke to afford dinner on the weekends. 

It didn’t entirely fix the crumbling feeling that accompanied each beat of your heart, but her words were like a tether holding you to reality. 

She had loved you before you were a UFC star and she was England's Star Girl, and she would love you after. 

That was all that mattered. 

She squeezed you tightly and kissed your head. “Let’s go get your hands fixed and then we can go back to the hotel and watch Love Island before bed, alright?”

You hummed again. 

You knew a talk about your coping mechanism, about the wall you had destroyed, would also be included after you had come down. 

But you didn’t mind. 

You and Alessia would get through it. Together. 

[demie90s]

Diana Taurasi X fem!Reader

Calm Down. Pt.2

MASTERLIST | MORE | PT.1

SUMMARY: You weren't born a prodigy. You were overlooked, counted out, told to try another sport before you even had a chance to believe in yourself. But when you came back, you came back different.

GENRE: Sports drama, hurt/comfort, slow-burn trust, silent intimacy

WARNINGS: Childhood emotional trauma, mental burnout, emotional numbness, disordered relationship with food/ performance

WORD COUNT: ~ 3.4k

VIBE: You don't talk-but your game does. And Diana hears it loud.

“I need to go,” you say the moment the sunlight starts burning through Diana’s blinds.

You’re standing in the kitchen in a hoodie that doesn’t belong to you, clutching your phone like you might shatter without it. Like the missed reps from yesterday are physically rotting you from the inside out.

Diana doesn’t even look up from her mug. “Where.”

You swallow. “The gym.”

Now she looks up. And she stares.

Your arms are crossed, jaw tight, toe tapping against her tile like your bones are vibrating with guilt. Guilt for sleeping. Guilt for resting. Guilt for eating. You don’t say it, but she sees it all written on your face in bold font.

“I won’t do anything stupid,” you say before she even asks. “I just need to… I need to be there.”

She sighs into her coffee like it’s the only thing keeping her from cussing you out.

And then—she nods.

The gym is empty when you walk in.

Not just quiet—silent. No balls bouncing. No shoes squeaking. Just you and Diana. Your shadow stretches long across the hardwood under the early sun, and you breathe a little easier just walking in.

But Diana doesn’t hand you a ball.

She flicks on the lights, sets her keys down, and leans against the wall.

“Do what you need,” she says simply.

You blink. “You’re not gonna—?”

“No drills. No timers. No reps. Just… you.”

It sounds wrong. It feels wrong. But you nod anyway. You don’t warm up.

You just walk to center court. Right where the logo shines beneath your sneakers. You drop your bag. Then slowly, hesitantly, you sit down. Legs crossed. And pull out your phone.

Diana watches as you go through the same motions she’s seen you do in the locker room, on the bus, at team dinners like you were checking for air.

You load a highlight reel. Your own. Not even the good ones—just the full game footage. And you watch.

In silence. You rewind. And watch again.

You zoom in, freeze-frame your body language, whispering things under your breath.

“Why’d you hesitate?”

“You should’ve passed earlier.”

“What the hell was that rotation?”

Diana watches you with your head in your hands, elbows on your knees, the screen lighting up your tired face like a confession booth. You’re mouthing words now. She doesn’t have to hear them to know they’re cruel.

You press play again.

Then you start writing.

A notebook slides across your lap, and with your pen you scrawl the same tired judgments:

“Not good enough.”

“Be better.”

“They were right.”

“You got lucky.”

“You’ll never last.”

You don’t cry. You’ve done that already. This part? This is scar tissue. Repetition. Ritual.

Diana steps closer.You don’t notice. You don’t look up until the notebook’s ripped out of your lap.

“Hey—”

She flips it open. Reads the page. Page after page after page.

You expect yelling. You expect the notebook to be thrown, the words to be cursed out of your hands. Instead—she sits. Right in front of you.

Cross-legged. Like a mirror.

“You ever wonder why it hurts so bad?” she asks quietly, holding the notebook like it might burn her.

You say nothing.

“Because there’s a part of you that still believes every word.”

“I do believe it,” you mumble.

She cocks her head. “No. You don’t. You’re fighting it. That’s why you can’t stop running. If you really believed it, you’d have quit by now.”

You blink hard.

Diana drops the notebook between you both.

“Get up.”

“What?”

“Get up,” she says, standing.

You do.

But you hesitate.

She picks up a ball this time and hands it to you. Not hard. Not fast. Just gently. Like a gift, not a test.

“No drills. No competition. Just shoot.”

You hold the ball.

It feels heavy in your hands today.

You dribble once. Twice. Step to the elbow. Shoot.

It clanks off.

You flinch. “I—”

“Again.”

You shoot again. Miss again.

“Again.”

You keep going. She doesn’t correct you.

She doesn’t break your form down or tell you what you’re doing wrong.

She just watches. Until one finally goes in. Not a swish. Not clean. But it counts. You look at her like that was your first real breath in days.

“Again,” she says, voice softer.

You shoot.

Make.

Shoot.

Miss.

Shoot.

Swish.

And you feel it.

The thing you lost in the routines. The thing you buried under plays and guilt and bruises and early mornings.

Joy.You laugh. Barely.But it’s real.

She smiles then, and it’s small, but it’s proud.

“You’re not a machine,” she says, walking over.

You drop the ball and let it roll away.

“You’re a player. A person. A fucking miracle of grit and grace. And if I ever catch you treating yourself like a lost cause again—”

“You’ll what?” you whisper, smiling through tears.

She shrugs. “Probably make you run until you puke.”

You laugh again. Harder this time.

And when you finally sit, breathless and lighter, she sits beside you. Same spot. Same floor.

But you’re not watching plays this time.

You’re living one.

You didn’t go to the gym the next morning. You wanted to—your body screamed for it. Every muscle twitched beneath your skin like a quiet reminder that you’d fallen behind. That you were slipping. That maybe, just maybe, taking a break would cost you everything. Your eyes snapped open at 4:37 a.m., the time your first alarm usually buzzed. But you didn’t move. You stared at the ceiling in Diana’s spare bedroom, paralyzed, aching to get up, run, lift, do something—anything. But your legs wouldn’t swing over the edge of the bed. You just laid there, bones tight with guilt.

Two hours later, you dragged yourself into the kitchen. Hoodie swallowed your frame. Eyes red, jaw locked. You hadn’t cried, not exactly. But something inside you still hadn’t closed from the night before. Diana didn’t even glance up at first—she was already dressed, mug in hand, phone in the other. When she did finally look at you, it wasn’t surprise that crossed her face. It was something quieter. Familiar. Like she already knew how this would go. You stood there, awkward and heavy in the doorway, fingers curled into your sleeves.

“Didn’t go to the gym?” she asked casually, like she didn’t already know the answer.

You shook your head.

“Good,” she replied without missing a beat.

You blinked, caught off guard. “It doesn’t feel good.”

“It’s not supposed to,” she said, setting her mug down with a soft clink. “You’re detoxing.”

You let out a bitter laugh, quiet and humorless. “From what?”

“Punishment,” she said simply, not even looking at you now. “You use it to punish yourself.”

You crossed your arms, defensive. “It’s discipline.”

“It’s obsession,” she corrected gently. “And obsession doesn’t love you back.”

You sat down at the counter, more to keep from collapsing than anything else. She handed you toast. You stared at it like it was a challenge. You didn’t eat it. Didn’t even pick it up. Just looked at the crumbs like they were mocking you. “I stayed up again,” you admitted softly. “Woke up in the common room with my notebook. Same shit. Same notes. I didn’t even realize I was writing them.”

Diana exhaled through her nose. “KK said she covered you with her hoodie. Thought you looked like a kid on time out.”

Your throat tightened.

“They played your highlight reel on the bus today. The good stuff. They said it was to remind you who you are. But you weren’t there to see it.”

You looked away, ashamed.

“You’re missing your own greatness,” she said, “because you’re addicted to your own criticism.”

That hit something deep.

Later that day, you did what you always did—you begged her. Quietly. Softly. Like a confession. “Please, let me go to the gym. I’ll keep it light. No reps. Just film study. Please.”

She sighed but didn’t say no. “Fine.”

You practically sprinted out the door, like the idea of rest might catch up if you didn’t move fast enough. At the gym, the air smelled like sweat and waxed hardwood. Familiar. Safe. You kicked off your slides, unzipped your bag, and grabbed your phone.

“Run it,” Diana said, already leaning against the baseline wall.

You started the film. Game footage, your jersey flashing on the screen. And for once, she took the notebook. Held it like it held all your secrets.

“I won’t write anything bad,” you said quickly.

“I know,” she said. “You’re not writing anything. At all.”

You blinked. “What?”

“No notes. No critique. Just watch.”

“That’s not how I do it.”

“Exactly.”

You wanted to argue, but your hands were already shaking. So you listened. You played the film. And you watched.

Five minutes passed. Your fingers twitched.

Ten minutes. You wanted to scribble something so bad it physically hurt.

Twenty minutes. Your breathing settled. You hadn’t realized how hard it had been to just watch yourself without breaking it down to pieces. You saw the passes. The mistakes. The recoveries. The footwork. The quick decisions. And then—finally—you saw the player. Not the failure. Not the fraud. Just you.

After the film ended, Diana tossed you a ball. Not like a challenge—like a lifeline.

“Shoot,” she said.

You stepped up. Shot. Missed.

“Again.”

You hesitated. Shot again. Missed again.

“Again,” she said, no judgment.

You kept going. Missing. Adjusting. Finally—one dropped. Not pretty. Not perfect. But it went in. You looked at her like you’d just come up for air.

“Again,” she said with a smile.

You shot. Made it. Again. Miss. Again. Swish.

And somewhere between the bricks and the baskets—you started laughing. Just a little. But real. It wasn’t about being the best. It wasn’t about proving anyone wrong. You were just… playing. For the first time in months.

“You’re not a machine,” she said when you finally sat down, winded. “You’re a fucking miracle.”

That night, she made pasta. Nothing fancy. Just warm food and silence. You sat on the floor in the hoodie you hadn’t changed out of, knees pulled to your chest. She handed you a bowl.

“This for me?”

“No, I made two for the ghost of Kobe.”

You rolled your eyes, but your lips twitched. You ate. Not because you earned it. But because you deserved to. Even if it would take a long time to believe it.

Practice wasn’t perfect the next day.

Your legs were heavy. Your passes were a half-second too slow. You missed your first three shots during warmups, and you flinched every time Coach raised his voice. But you didn’t spiral. You didn’t vanish into the gym afterward. You didn’t pull out your notebook like a blade and carve every mistake into your skin with ink.

You just breathed. And kept going.

The team noticed. They didn’t say anything right away—not out loud. But you caught the looks. KK nudging you during water breaks, a smile pulling at her lips when you actually took a sip. She said something stupid about your jumper looking “medium-rare instead of burnt this time,” and you let out the tiniest laugh. Aaliyah slapped your shoulder so hard it made your teeth rattle—“That’s the sound I missed.”

You were still quiet. Still intense. Still the first one in and the last one out. But something in your energy had shifted. Your game wasn’t driven by panic anymore. It was steadier. Sharper. Not perfect—but honest. And when you missed, you didn’t look at the floor like it betrayed you. You looked ahead.

Later that night, you sat on Diana’s couch again, half-wrapped in the throw blanket you never folded. You had a plate of food balanced in your lap—real food. Not protein bars and caffeine, but pasta, bread, something with actual warmth. You were eating slower now, actually tasting things. Diana sat across from you with a sports doc muted on the TV, sipping ginger ale like it was a ritual. She didn’t comment when you went back for seconds. She didn’t say anything when you left your notebook closed on the table all evening.

But she noticed.

She always did. That weekend, she found the notebook again.

It was in the trash. Torn pages, some water-damaged from a night you cried too hard to pretend you weren’t. Words crossed out violently, others written over and over again until the pen bled through.

Not good enough.

Why’d you hesitate.

Be better.

This isn’t for you.

You should’ve listened.

Diana stood there holding the mess in her hands, something unreadable in her eyes. She didn’t say a word—just looked at you like she’d seen the inside of your chest and decided to hold it anyway.

You looked up at her from the kitchen table, mid-bite. “Didn’t need it anymore.”

She nodded. “Good.”

That night, she left her bedroom door open. Not on purpose—but not by accident either.

You still had bad days. There were mornings you woke up suffocating, panic already pressing against your lungs before your feet hit the ground. There were nights your chest ached with disappointment after missing one too many shots, and the mirror started whispering those old names again—fluke, fraud, failure.

But now, when it got too loud, you didn’t run from it. You walked into it—with people beside you.

Sometimes Diana would text you one word after practice: Gym?

But it wasn’t a command anymore. It was an invitation.

And sometimes, you’d say no.

Sometimes, you’d let yourself rest.

You learned how to eat without guilt. How to stretch without chasing exhaustion. How to watch film without ripping yourself to shreds. You learned how to laugh again—not just once, not just in passing, but loud, open, stupid laughs that made the rookies stare like they were seeing you for the first time.

Because maybe they were. Maybe you were, too. You weren’t healed. You weren’t fixed. But you were here. Still showing up. Still fighting. Still breathing.

And every time you laced up your shoes, that little girl inside you—the one who was told she’d never make it, the one who once sat on the floor writing she wasn’t enough—she got a little quieter.

Because you proved her wrong. Not by being the best. But by surviving long enough to stay. And Diana?

She never said it outright. But when she passed you the ball after a hard drill, when she let you fall asleep during game film and never brought it up, when she set your favorite protein shake in the locker room with a sticky note that just said You’re doing fine—you knew.

She was proud.

Of the player you were.

And the person you were finally letting yourself become.

[afurtivecake]

ok I'm going to have to defend Abby here. I know there is an argument that Abby should have known better than to say something like "My Foxes fight back," to Jean, a victim of recent brutality. It definitely comes across as tactless from Jean's POV and you would expect the nurse of a team of traumatized students to know what to say. But I don't think Abby actually knows what to say in these situations - and I don't think it's her fault.

This line from Wymack's bonus chapter suggests that Abby really doesn't have the same sort of background as Wymack and their players:

"David had sworn years ago not to interfere with his kids' fixes so long as they didn't get caught or end up hospitalized. It had led to more fights than he could count between him and Abby in the early days. She'd given in eventually, though she'd probably never forgive him for taking such a stance when he should be setting a better example. Maybe she was right, or maybe she didn't have enough nightmares to understand."

While Abby has agreed to back Wymack up on the issue of allowing players to take drugs, Wymack still believes that Abby privately disagrees. Wymack insists upon it because of his personal experiences in life and guesses that Abby doesn't have those same experiences to understand why he insists upon it.

It's easy to forget because of the POV the story is in, but Abby's reaction is the "normal" one. Most people do not support giving students alcohol and see it as their responsibility to stop students from taking drugs if they find out about it. Wymack only takes the harm reduction approach (i.e. allowing/giving recovering addicts the substance they are addicted to safely, instead of forcing them to be cut off immediately. A divisive approach, even nowadays.) because of his own experiences, not because he has formal training in addictions counselling/treatment. All Abby is doing, is sticking with what she knows and believes will help these young people.

Abby is very "by-the-book" in comparison to Wymack or even Betsy. She argues against taking Andrew off his medication and putting him in rehab immediately because she believes it goes against the recommended procedure of these situations. She argues against it out of genuine concern for Andrew, because she believes going against the recommended procedures will do him more harm than good.

It makes me think back to Abby's interactions with Neil back in AFTG, where Abby says, "Sometimes I think this job is going to kill me, seeing what people have done, what people continue to do, to my Foxes," right after Neil's been through hell at Evermore. This always rubbed me the wrong way because Neil's just been put through the wringer and all Abby can talk about it how much it's affecting her? She can give up this job at any time and walk away but Neil can't just walk away from being in his situation. But this is a really common sentiment among people who work with vulnerable populations. It's called "vicarious trauma" and it can happen when working with and empathizing with survivors of trauma. It can lead to lingering feelings of anger, sadness, guilt and burnout. Those feelings are no more Abby's fault that the feelings experienced in response to direct trauma.

The way I read it, Abby isn't trying to blame Jean or shame him for his victimhood. What Abby sees is a kid who acts like he's already given up on life, a kid who doesn't want others' kindness. It's not an unreasonable assumption to make; even Kevin and Neil have said that Jean "isn't a fighter." My interpretation is that Abby's "My Foxes fight back," is her attempt at copying Wymack's gruff support. I think she's hoping that a direct challenge will spark pride or defiance, or at least enough anger, to stop Jean from giving up. She's seen Wymack and Neil strong-arm Kevin into being brave all year, and I think she thought that that's what Jean needed to hear too. After all, it really seems to work when Wymack does it. But the difference between her and Wymack is that Wymack's understanding of what their players need comes from personal experience. He knows when the right time to say certain things are. Andrew tells Neil first thing, "Coach always knows what to say." And that's not because Wymack is a better person than Abby; it's just because Wymack knows from experience what they need to hear.

It's not Abby's fault that she doesn't understand them the way that Wymack does and that she can't help them the way that Wymack can. She doesn't have Wymack's lived experience. What's she's been doing this entire time is trying to understand what these kids need and trying to do the best she can for them with what she knows. She genuinely cares and she's trying, but she's making all the mistakes a normal person would make. And that's perfectly realistic and fine! It doesn't mean she doesn't care about the students she works with. It doesn't make her a horrible person. It just means that she's just kind of painfully normal. In fact, her painfully normal responses have helped too. Like when she hugs Neil and though Neil's not used to hugs (like, at all), it's new and comforting and something only she would have and could have given him at the time. And yes, she's going to fuck up from time to time and not be able to give people what they need, but that's part of caring for anyone.

[ilypaigebuckets]

kate martin with a nerd gf hcs?

Kate x Nerdy Gf Hcs

figured out how to add pictures 🥳

- you wouldn’t classify yourself as a nerd, just someone who is really big on their education

- kate first met you in the library where she saw you studying

- she thought you were the prettiest girl in the entire world, so she wanted to shoot her shot (get it bc basketball)

- she asked to sit next to you “hey is this seat taken”

- you were kind of oblivious to her flirting at first “no? but there’s like dozens of other places to sit you don’t have to sit by me”

- everytime she goes to the library (which becomes more and more frequently thanks to you) she sits next to you

- she eventually gets the courage to ask you out and you guys go on a cute little coffee date

- after you’ve been dating for a while you start attending her basketball practices and just study there instead of the library

- she teases you that it’s because you miss her but you insist it’s because the gymnasium is closer to kate’s place than the library is

- oh yeah you definitely stay over at her place most nights

- she lets you study at her coffee table/on her couch

- she holds you while you study and makes sure you have everything you need

- you need water? she’s on it. head scratches to ‘help you concentrate’? her fingers are already making their way to your scalp.

- you definitely have deal with burnouts and kate helps you through them

- she starts putting time limits on your study time, so you have time to yourself for self care, your relationship, and just taking care of other things

- she helps you study and quizzes you with your flash cards

- “ok baby what is the polytomic ion for sulfate?” “S04 to the negative second power?” “LETS GO THATS MY SMART GIRL”

- will listen to you rant about your stressing assignments

- “kate it just doesn’t make sense at all. i don’t get why he would give us only a week to write that paper” and she just kisses your forehead and holds you tight like “shhh i know baby gorgeous but you’re my smart cookie”

- one time you missed her game due to a project deadline and her feelings were really hurt

- it caused a huge fight that ended with you both crying, you promising to prioritize her more just like she does you

- that fight really opened your eyes so now you try to cherish your time with kate more

not really but just in case nsfw 😢

- when she’s quizzing you and you get an answer right, she’ll try to reward you

- sometimes you don’t let her, insisting that you need more time to study and do assignments or catch up on reading

- other times you take it as a much needed break and just let her help you relax

that’s all 🤍 i hope you like this!!!

[plant-ago]

An Open Letter to Dan and Phil

Dear beloved nerds,

This was originally going to be an (even longer) actual letter that I was going to give to you at the tour, but my nonprofit-employed ass can’t afford a meet and greet, so we’re doing this instead. I promise it’s not just trauma dumping— mostly, it’s about saying thank you and trying to cultivate some hope for all of us.

I’ve been a big fan since around 2014, when I was a mentally ill neurotic deeply repressed loner egg (average phannie, let's be honest). Now I’m a whole adult who got therapy and HRT and has joined the legions of transmascs with the Dan Howell haircut! What a legacy.

I’m making jokes because the thing I actually want to talk about, and the reason I decided to make this an open letter, is kind of serious. But in light of the election, I feel like I need to share this, both with you and with all the other queers in this little corner of the internet.

Here’s the gist: I’m a paralegal at a non-profit organization that works to help queer migrants get asylum. Mostly what I do is sit them down in our nasty sterile office and try to be kind, and help them get through telling me all the most terrible things that have happened to them, and then turn around and pare it all down into legalese that is digestible to the government to make the case they should get asylum.

It’s a horrible job, really, and one that shouldn’t have to exist. Some parts are plainly wonderful, like meeting so many queer people from all walks of life. But it’s also heartrending and difficult, and burnout is always looming. My horrible banal work is often literally a matter of life and death for the client, and I’m fighting a broken system for a chance at giving them the happiness and safety is owed to them by international law and, really, by any decent human standard, should never have been in question.

The thing is—and this is reason to hope—queer people really do exist everywhere, no matter how much repression and violence we face. In a tiny village in Colombia, there's a kid who’s all spit and vinegar, dresses like a boy and plays football and fights anyone who says that they can’t, who grows up wiry and gets black eyes because men still can’t handle getting their asses handed to them on the soccer field by a dyke. This client texts me at my work number sometimes to ask if I’ve eaten that day, because they wanted to check in on me. He asked me to call him by a boy’s name, recently. I don’t know that he’s told anyone else. I open every message I send him with "Hola, James."

Then there’s the sweet, babyfaced college freshman who got death threats when he was outed to his classmates back home, and whose parents kicked him out when he refused to marry a girl to protect the family's reputation, leaving him alone in a foreign country. He was couch surfing and just trying not to miss class so he could keep his student status and he was so conscientious I wanted to cry— he’s eighteen, guys. Eighteen. I’ll get him his papers or so help me fucking God I will kill for him. You know? You know. After that meeting I had to sit at my desk with my notebook and fill an entire blank page with the phrase “he’s just a kid,” over and over again, until I felt like I could breathe.

On a Friday morning recently I get up and open my laptop to interpret on a call with a soft-spoken older trans woman who's sat in the bleak phone room of the ICE detention facility because her immigration judge didn’t believe that she was really transgender. “An odor of mendacity pervades everything the respondent says,” the judge wrote in her ruling, where she determined the client wasn't "credible." To this day I’m still floored that she straight up ripped off Tennessee Williams—new frontiers in bigotry, truly. She didn’t even cite. In our meeting now, the client quietly tells us how hard it was when she came out but how happy she was the first time she wore makeup, and she'd rather stay in detention here for indeterminate years as proceedings spiral on than go back to Guatemala, where they'll kill her—boys, if I ever get within spitting distance of this fuckass judge, it is on SIGHT. Absolutely fucking ON SIGHT. For legal purposes, that was a JOKE.

So I finish the call and get up to get a snack. It’s only ten am but feel tired already because I’m angry, which is not unusual but also not something I want to hold onto, because it doesn't help anything. So I make some toast and look at my phone— two texts, which I ignore, a spam email, and, wouldn't you know it, a YouTube notification from Dan and Phil games! Jarring! That’s just sort of how life is though, isn’t it? Deathly serious and lighthearted in the same breath.

But regardless, seeing the notification makes me feel warm, so I have my toast and watch a little video of you two playing Roblox or dress up or whatever it is you do on that channel these days. I have a good giggle and I finish my toast and go back to my desk. It’s a crucial part of my diet really— the giggles, not the toast. I’m not angry anymore. I’ll be angry again, but for now my cortisol levels are manageable and I can put my head back into emails or whatever the fuck. Do you ever think about how plants make food for free out of sunlight but we sit around writing emails all day? And that’s if we’re lucky. Capitalism is hell.

Anyway, there is a point I am trying to make, and it’s not really about the banal horrors of neoliberal nation-state or capitalism or even homophobia. It’s to say thank you for coming back to make silly videos together, because I love them, and you never fail to make me happy. And yeah, maybe something about the story of that scared eighteen-year-old kid at the front of my mind makes it particularly sweet to watch you two goofing off and being openly queer. It reminds me why I’m doing what I’m doing, and it gives me the strength to send another fucking email because sometimes doing “important work that I value and believe in deeply” means having to send another fucking email. And sometimes I’ll rewatch your older videos, and then come back to the more recent ones, and my heart bruises, because you remind me what I’m fighting for and why. It’s nothing grandiose, it’s just— for queer people to get to have the ability to grow into themselves and be outrageous and silly and make mistakes and to love and be loved for who they are. To have the safety and support and security that no one should ever go without. That’s all.

So I am being dead serious when I say thank you for making top-tier light entertainment, and for coming back to a job that wasn’t always kind to you, and that it does actually matter. All this talk about terrible influences and legacies has made me think that sometimes you doubt whether you do good in the world, so let me be clear: you really, really do. I kind of get the sense that in order to accept sincerity Dan needs to be beat over the head with it, so if that’s the case, consider yourself coerced, you dickhead. You matter to me, and especially in times like these, I think I speak for all of us when I say that the joy you share is a precious and treasured gift. So please accept my gratitude in return.

All my love,

Jules

(I removed or changed all identifying information in this letter to protect privacy, but the stories are real).

[absolutebl]

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

Ones we have dates for:

The Boy Next World

1/5 Thai iQIYI trailer

Is this the backstory of Cirrus & Phugun from TharnType 2 or just the same names? Regardless this is BossNoeul in a multiverse "slip through time" kinda thing but it's Mame + high concept so we in for a bumpy ride.

When it Rains it Pours

1/9 Japan MBS

Convoluted story about a man in a relationship who is sexually unfulfilled and his friend who is in love with him, who accidentally become secret confidants.

Impression of Youth

1/15 Taiwan

Exclusive Love

2/14 Taiwan Line

Shy aspiring singer inherits funeral business and a sexy mortician to go with.

Top Form

3/25 Thai WeTV

Adaptation of a Japanese manga. Boom (Chains of Heart) opposite Smart (Don't Say No). Actor recognized as the "The Sexiest Man of the Year" has his first-place position usurped by young newcomer. But while he sees them as rivals, turns out the new kid has other ideas.

My Sweetheart Jom

4/25 Thai YouTube

Saint is back in a BL? Who knew that would ever happen? When he gets tangled up with a mafia boss's son's girlfriend and ends up in a scuffle, young Yothin needs to find a safe place. Instead of sending him overseas, his father decides to send him to the countryside! There, he stays in Bang Pho under the care of subdistrict headman, a close friend of his father. He's also under the watchful eye of the village headman who happens to be the subdistrict headman's grandson and is overseeing his probation. As Yothin spends more time with Jomkhwan, his perception of the village headman begins gradually to change.

ANNOUNCED FOR 2025

No date as yet, alphabetical order.

8Hours

Thai

Season 2 of 4 Minutes.

A Dog and A Plane

Thai trailer

A prissy gay flight attendant in a push-pull relationship with an EMT dude-bro. Characters are a bit throwback to PeteKao (no bad thing) not to mention the looming shadow of What the Duck? (bad thing). But the side couple is the always appealing MarcPoon. Okay GMMTV, surprise me, I'm game. And you know TayNew are my OG GMMTV pair du jour.

Allure of the Siren

Thai trailer

Bitter rivals, Dao and Chaisai, are reluctantly thrust into an unprecedented partnership as they embark on a relentless quest to locate missing strippers.

Be My Soulmate

Thai

Star Hunter is putting MosBank back in uni. Engineering student shacks up with a judo jock, sexual tension is high but nothing changes until one of them becomes single.

Boys in Love

Thai trailer

Our only true high school BL from GMMTV and it's fresh faces for the youths and old favs for the teachers. It's milk teeth Make it Right and that is perfectly fine with me! I like lotte milk. Also DIMPLES! Yay! I suspect they're using this one to test some new pairs for future seasons. Like a Project 101 Thai BL.

(Honestly I just invented an amazing reality TV for you GMMTV, you're welcome.)

Burnout Syndrome

Thai trailer

GMMTV doing edgy is never a good thing IMHO, and in this one they're handling sex work. *shakes head* However, Not Me is the noted exception and this is that same pair with the same director. So I'm curious if not wild about the content. That said, I'm delighted to see Gun with someone else (Dew is a stunning choice, thank you Casting) even if only for a love triangle moment. It's been a WHILE.

Cat for Cash

Thai trailer

Finally something fluffy with a pair I like from GMMTV 2025. Looks cute. I like cute. Yay for me! Adorable gay boys and cats. This one is basically made to be a tumblr comfort meme meets thirst trap. I see what you're doing GMMTV and I applaud you. Carry on.

Doctor's Mine

Thai YouTube trailer

Another try at adapting Gown & Gear. Couldn't possibly be worse than the first attempt.

Eyes On You

Thai trailer

Fight for You

Taiwan

Da Hei reluctantly takes on dangerous odd jobs to earn medical funds, unaware that his roommate Xiao Bai is secretly an operative sent by the intelligence agency to take them down.

Flavor of Us

Thai trailer

A critic inherits a restaurant and his mother's debt and to keep the inheritance he has to hire the chef he hates.

Flirt Milk

Thai trailer

Originally slated for 2023, now entirely recast. The facial hair is KILLING me.

Friend to Fan

Thai WeTV trailer

Goddess Bless You From Death

Thai trailer

PavelPooh are back. Thup, a young man with extraordinary senses, is drawn into investigating a mysterious murder case involving brutally mutilated bodies found in the forest alongside the more rational thinker Singha.

Dare You to Death

Thai trailer

JoongDunk as police investigators in a mystery suspense thriller. Yes, I'm in. This is it. This it the one I wanted to instantly watch. Even though their's 20 BLs airing right now.

Head 2 Head

Thai trailer

The Boo kids are back. I don't love this pair (I find their chemistry and acting awkward) or the main trope (E2L) but I do like the new sides and their trope (2nd chance is a fav of mine). So this one will depend on whether those are full side dishes or just crumbs.

I Promise I Will Come Back

Thai-Taiwanese colab

Stars 2 Thai actors and the Taiwanese identical twins from H3, that's mostly intended to be a tourism advert for the Thai countryside.

I'm The Most Beautiful Count

Thai trailer

Not long after famous actor Prince came out as queer and rose to the top of the entertainment industry, he wakes up in the body of a good-looking noble in the Thongburi Kingdom of the past.

Interminable

October? Thai YouTube

BillyBabe are back in a reincarnation historical.

Khemjira AKA Spirit Reborn

Thai YouTube trailer

Was 2024 officially moved to 2025. Supposedly the scariest BL ever. Khem is born cursed. A daughter would be safe but a son dies at 20 so Khem’s mother cleverly gives him a girl’s name, Khemjira “forever safe.” But Knem is baout to turn 20 and he doesn't think it's working so he seeks the help of a curse-breaker, turns out to be his great love from a previous life.

Knock Out aka Knockout

Thai WeTV trailer

A low quality less fun and funny version of Wandee Goodday.

Got too long for tumblr find Part 2 here.

(source)

This post is static and not updated. All information is to the best of my ability at the very end of 2024. Not responsible for changes, cancellations etc...