#internet relationships

[seeminglydark]

If you don’t mind, could Mickey and his partner get some love? Maybe something from their early relationship when they first got together.

Anon, I DONT mind at all! All the requests/prompts I’ve gotten were for JxC which I love, and I have one or two more I’ll do, BUT I may or may not have dropped everything when I got this one cuz THE BOYS YES I WILL DRAW the boys. This is slightly before their early relationship, which is hopefully ok, but I love bi panic reggie and oblivious Mick and I’ve had an idea of something like this for a while, so thank you for giving me the opportunity to make it! I AM going to draw some cuddles/spicy/thirst trap/relationshippy stuff with them more often I think.

Anyway for context for those who don’t know these characters, or haven’t read my smallest project Call Me Mickey, Mick and Reggie are married and from my comic Seemingly Dark. This scene is just after their MeetCute on the internets of 2008, when online user MightyMouse jumps on a bus to Seattle to check on his ‘best pal’ RockabillyReggie, who suffers from chronic depression. Mickey has never been in a real relationship or found himself attracted to any of the girls his other friends try to hook him up with back in LA, well it turns out that’s cuz he’s INCREDIBLY GAY and his new found friend Reggie helps him navigate new found feelings.

Reg, ofc, has a big thirst for this cute dude crashing on the couch in his apartment but tries very hard to keep his cool until Mick confesses to him later that night.

SO YEAH I really do love them. I don’t draw as much as I used too cuz I have a little bit of sad surrounding their stories (bad memory/sad boy hour stuff) but getting over that slowly but surely. And ofc Mick is the main protagonist in Seemingly Dark, least we forget. He has big things up ahead, and I cannot wait to show you he and Reggie’s continued story.

[lupineleigh]

I’ve been ghosted so many times in real life by family and friends, I barely question it online. It is uncomfortable talking to in a discord server alone for months only to realize nobody is there. It’s painful sending instant messages and never having them answered.

I know people move on to different interests and that real life takes time and energy away from online friends. I have left without leaving a message because I had intended on coming back and by the time I realized how much time had passed, I saw I was not missed, my absence was not questioned, and I no longer felt like I could say I was still around.

I’ve had days where I was too depressed and sick to even say Hi to friends. All I could do was silently wish my life away.

But I do go back and I do post in my profiles when my interests change and how I’m doing. I do not let my profiles sit unacknowledged forever.

I am too connected with my Alias to drop it, so I will not use different usernames on different sites, unless I have already used it and can’t log back in, or I had a different purpose, like my former rp now general everything account on Tumblr.

If all my accounts go silent for more than four months, then I likely am no longer able to communicate to my friends. I hope they will know what happened to me, and not be left worrying and wondering indefinitely. I only have one I talk to every day anyway. I hope my friends know I love them, and that I still think about all of them and the time we shared together, even if it was just friendly greetings or discussing character head canons. I have grown so much because of my friends. I hope my passage of time here will be remembered with equal fondness.

I am also grateful that my friendship meant so much to one of my online friends that she told her real life friends and family about me, so when she left this world, they took the time to find me and contact me. It gutted me, but it was good to know. I had been worried about her. I still think about her family and friends. I wonder how much of her is still around that I will never know about. I backed up our online chats and all of our rps and ideas and her art, and I’m glad I did because the instant messenger we used is no longer available. Neither is the forum we rped on. All that is left of our one year friendship is what is posted online. But because it’s there, I can relive the fun and memories we made together. I can cry with other people who remember her and miss her. I have closure. I have never had closure with anyone else in my life. I am super grateful. That one year is still in my heart, over a decade later, and my current friends love the characters we created together. Our friendship lives on.

Shout out to all your internet friends who are gone.

Those messenger screen names that haven’t logged on in ages, some before detailed profiles were a thing on those services.

Those emails that are long since abandoned, some with domains that no longer exist.

Those online friends you knew years ago and who then helped shaped you in some way, who you just can’t FIND anymore.

Those people who once were, and hopefully still exist IRL, that seem to have no known internet life anymore.

And those who have actually passed on, and their online lives are now a memorial to them.

I miss you all. I hope life is/was kind to you, and maybe one day, we’ll somehow connect again.

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

"Knowing my RL name is more of a 'third date' kind of thing."

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[ashroomancer]

My first friends I ever made were people I'd met online. I often think about what'd happen if I'd passed away, like ... Would anyone tell those three people I spent every night talking to what happened to me? If I saw them today would they recognize me from those grainy Skype calls? If we joined a lobby all together again could we pick up where we left off?

long distance internet friendships are so frustrating like i want to go hang out at your place. i want to bring that snack u like if ur sad. i want to go to the cinema and watch a movie together. i wish we could randomly decide to drive down to the beach one friday night and look at the stars. we drifted apart and idk if you're alive. nobody would think to tell you if i died. i hope you're okay

[star-anise]

Yes, I absolutely do believe it's worth taking a critical gaze at romance novels and films, where "critical" means "assessing and evaluating" and not "find everything wrong with it". And yes, I'm okay with men doing this too.

But also, I somehow think that if I, as a woman, launched a Youtube channel where I read military novels and watched action movies and invited military women to laugh with me at all their silly or improbable or problematic bits, I would not get nearly the same reaction as men reviewing EL James novels.

It's that annoying thing where one does not have to be intentionally misogynistic to be in a misogynistic system, and being on the internet often means that the audience, reach, and social impact you plan on having frequently bears no resemblance to the audience, reach, and social impact you do have.

Also there's a bit of an accountability paradox, where making gestures towards a movement, like feminism, seems to include in its social contract an implicit agreement to be open to criticism when one fails from a feminist lens. Which means that something that seems directed to a hugely female audience feels inherently like a more fitting target for feminist criticism than other things that are objectively worse, but have never made any gestures towards feminism at all.

[softytothecore]

[stars-obsession-pit]

Tim has found his soulmate (not a soulmate AU, just in the like “i think we’re totally meant to be together” way). Well, okay, it’s entirely one-sided so far, but he’s sure SpecterNova will reciprocate once they’re in proper contact.

He’s already found everything he publicly can on the youtuber, but he’s still digging deeper. It’s weirdly difficult—his love must like his privacy!—but he’s making headway.

On the other end, Danny is getting nervous about the dedication of his new internet stalker. Even with Tucker’s help in setting up his online security and the scrambling effects of ectoplasm, they can tell that the person is still making progress. They don’t seem like they’re a part of the GIW, but that doesn’t mean their search can’t harm him in some other way.

He really hopes he doesn’t have to change identities again. Having to do it the first time to flee the GIW was bad enough, and he’s been liking his current life.

[doublel27]

I’m still thinking about Daou Pittya’s live last night where he roasted fans and his current mission to get people to stop using the terms koojin and fanservice.

And thinking about how Pond and Phuwin admitted they hang out a lot but they don’t post any of it because they don’t want their actual relationship outside of work to be called fanservice.

And thinking about the interview BillyBabe gave recently where they reiterated that they don’t engage in fanservice and they can’t make anyone believe anything about their relationship anyway.

And about old videos of Earth during early ATOTS era asking MCs not to use the term koojin about him and Mix.

And about YinWar, BossNouel and MaxTul always having been very honest that they are friends who work together. Never obscuring that fact.

And about Tay Tawan loudly saying that OffGunTayNew all kiss each other all the time since Gun showed up and the realties of their friendship are none of your business.

And about Krist loudly saying he’s allowed to have friends.

Because none of these pairs intend to stop acting with their current partner (aside from MaxTul because Tul has left the industry entirely.) They’re not protesting being paired with another person for multiple projects. They are protesting the commodification, the telling a person who they are with know actual knowledge, and frankly homophobic/toxic masculinity drenched idea that for a man to show care to another man they either have to have a deep romantic relationship or they’re faking it all for the money, even the stuff with no branding attached.

And half the stuff that gets filed away as evidence that two men in a pair or are dating or that everything is definitely fanservice and is entirely manufactured are things that are completely normal in female friendships:

Looking at a person when they speak

Knowing someone’s likes and dislikes

Thoughtful gifts

Saying you love them/care

Acts of service

Physical affection

Sometimes being jealous of a friend’s relationship with other friends

Hanging out outside of work

And yeah, some of them may be just coworkers that they grit their teeth and work with and fake it til they make it. But some pairs out there have a genuine relationship, however they label it. And however it’s labeled is none of your business.

As a fan, you have no right to tell them how to act, whether it’s to call out fanservice and demand they stop or to tell them they can’t have other friends. Both are toxic extremes and treating a person like an object you can control.

There’s a longer essay on this, that I plan to finish soon, but this is where my brain keeps cycling through.

Bottom line, listen to these men when they speak. Trust their agency. I hope they keep clapping back at everyone.

[petricorah]

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

[sleepnoises]

im reading more harriet lerner and truly this being a possible boundary that god doesn't immediately strike you down for had never occurred to me before. thanks steve

[romanceyourdemons]

shen qingqiu and shang qinghua are paragons of internet safety. refusing to share their real names with people they met online even after getting transmigrated into another dimension

[jingerpi]

i know r/aita & r/relationship_advice are obsessed with telling people to break up but i mean. if you're resorting to those subreddit in the first place you probably should lol. i cant imagine being like "wow im struggling in this relationship, let me ask thousands of redditors to navigate my relationship for me". I get wanting advice or other perspectives but u gotta get that from people in your life the people on the internet forum are not going to know whats going on or enough about anyone involved from 1 (one) singular post

[knifearo]

like it's honestly kind of ridiculous at this point

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.