#internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...

[hackedmotionsensors]

lol i've complained about this a fair amount on twitter but I got a comment last night? that made me think about this again.

And its ...getting weird comments that I cannot tell if they're being RUDE or there's a language barrier or some combination of both.

I finished a standee art last night and posted it and this morning I get a reply from someone who's replied very confusingly before...."You're tired and need to go to sleep"

Which LMAO wasn't entirely untrue but that was the whole comment on the art.

Not to put this person on blast and obviously do not go bother them if you know where the comment is at.....

But like what the hell does that mean? I F E E L like this is a translation error or a miscommunication. But thats the ENTIRE problem. THAT IS THE ENTIRE PROBLEM. I'm tired of getting comments that are CONFUSING to me AT BEST...and more often just fucking rude.

Like....its weird. Bc i've been on the internet for close to 3 decades now??? Lol I'm so old. But.....I've been more confused in the past year or so with how people talk to perfect strangers on the internet. I think it might be a generational thing but like LMAO ARE THE "KIDS THESE DAYS" just ......fucking RUDE??? Like I've heard pre-teens and teens talk to each other and its pretty mean but so were a lot of kids when I was a teen. So maybe its a language barrier there.

But I feel like....because everyone is so comfortable talking to perfect strangers on the internet, and getting EXTREMELY overly close? or thinking they have the right to speak to people as if we're super besties (which in turn means saying a rude backhanded compliment thats intended to be nice but just sounds mean??)...its just....so common lately for me to just be like "Why the fuck would you say this to me?"

I'm not your friend. I'm just a random artist online that draws from a fandom you probably like (or hate? Idk your life lol)

I think this whole thing STARTED with Japanese and Korean artists (and probably lots of other languages that aren't English) begging people to stop leaving horrible reaction images or people saying "I'M GONNA K*LL YOU!!!!! THIS IS DEVASTATING!!!! I'M DEAD!!!!" and the poor artist being like...okay well this is a thing I have to live with now.

And I thought we DID move past that but I feel like its back just without the reaction images bc Gen Alpha and Z thinks reaction images are cringe LMAO (small blessings)

But ....I forget which drawing I did.....It was something sad. I think it was a sad zosan?? And this person LITERALLY said they were going to hunt me down. And that wasn't the initial comment. They said something equally as rude and when I asked for clarification for what they meant they were like " I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE"

GIRL ITS FANART OF ZORO AND SANJI!?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Again. I've talked about this til I'm blue in the face (fingers?? since its typing??) about this on twitter. And I've been sitting on this comment for nearly 24 hrs just....fucking confused. And I hate this ....confusion. Bc In My Day(tm) .....lol I didn't like mean comments then either but it was usually some asshole in my tumblr mail being like "YOU FUCKIN SUCK!!" lol

I might just be too stupid to interpret these quirky little comments but like

guys please if you like something. Just be normal and say "omg I love this" or like a cute reaction that is APPROPRIATE to the situation lol Don't demand things from me when I'm already giving you something that I'm doing in my free time for fun. Lol And stop asking me if there's a fic for comics or art that i TELL you came from me asdfasdfa I don't know where the fic is. I'd like to know too. (but also if I draw from a fic I link to the fic but I've decided to stop that for the time being. Any comics coming from me will be mine wholecloth for the foreseeable future)

[ni-de-mama]

ace attorney fans on discord, yall are fucking stupid. genuinely this is the stupidest discourse ive seen in my entire fucking life. the owner was removing unsafe people from her server. it's HER fucking server and she has the complete right to. dont dms exist? who the FUCK is policing you here? why do we need to have this fucking war when you could just go to another server with that banned member? fucking hell, have some common sense. the fact that adults are getting so aggressive makes it even worse. the minor here is making stupid decisions and saying stupid things and yall are encouraging her. nobody from the mod team was fucking coddling anyone. they were literally just saying we shouldn't fucking encourage harmful behaviour in their server. literally go encourage it in another server and it won't be any of the mods' business and they won't give a flying fuck. and what's with rejoining after ban with a new account? why the fuck are yall even trying to stay at this point if you hate this server and the mod team then fucking LEAVE. literally what do you want?????????? clearly the mods are being sent into panic attacks because of yall. do yall feel great now??? i was so glad i found a space i could talk in with other aa fans, and now ive lost that thanks to yalls stupid fucking discourse over some idk nearly 30 year old who doesn't know how to communicate properly. and the minor in question? not everything is about you. even i can see that, as a lurker. protecting minors does not mean bending to your every will. fucking hell, this server wasnt made just for you. protecting minors meant protecting all the other minors who felt unsafe, good for you if you didn't! you don't have to be so selfish and want the adult to stay so the other minors can feel unsafe lolllll. why did that mod have to justify them being uncomfortable around that adult? does it not matter that they just did? and now the mods are the ones shutting you down? use your fucking brain please. can't believe i have to lose this place because of this. literally everyone got too comfortable with hurting the mods here. its not even like yall couldve done a better job communicating with the banned member, the mod team clearly did their best to communicate with someone who only knew how to retaliate to their every request. are yall blind? i could see that happen, how come yall couldnt? bc yall are their friends obvious fucking ly. not to mention the banned member started spreading rumours that the owner called them a predator? fucking almost 30yo and youre still spreading rumours? christ on earth lol i saw everything. i saw the video i saw screenshots. that did not happen. is it that hard to look at this situation with less bias towards the ""victim""?? hope yall are happy that yall hurt the other members who love this place, and most of all the mod team who has to deal with yalls bullshittery. fucking wake up and see how stupid yall have been acting. jfc this is disgusting, yall disgust me, in a server for a game abt law yall clearly have not learnt anything. bringing your horrifying reading comprehension from tumblr to discord. sorry, clearly yall did not even fucking read whatever the mods said. yall ask for an explanation, the mods gave you one, you rebut it with a completely irrelevant point and then we go back to square one? not only that but yall kept demanding answers angrily, hostile and aggressive. how many times did the mods say they would be releasing a statement soon? yall asking for answers would give them no time to write it. and they have fucking lives outside of discord, unlike yall who have nothing to do but shout at strangers on the internet because they wont bend to your will in THEIR server. yall make me laugh. grow the fuck up. all of yall need to grow the actual fuck up.

[samthecookielord]

💘 (Assuming we can get the characters access to multiverse internet) How do you feel about the Chocolate Guy, Amaury Guichon?

1 says: "After seeing some of his work, I must say I'm quite impressed. I may not be a chocolatier, but I can tell just how much precision and effort must've went into building these intricate and detailed designs, with a fragile material even."

2 says: "oh yeah that guy oeace on earth love it when he shows up on my tumblr dash and im like yo whatcha got for us this time o chocolatey one. except now i CANT see him because THIS GUY doesnt even HAVE A TUMBLR literally outrageous i have to go ask his friend (in quotation marks) for a tumblr dash to look at"

1 says: "And let you have the upper hand by telling you? I don't think so."

2 says: "shrimp🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐🦐FTW!!!!YEAH WOO LETS GO SHIRMP!!!!!!"

1 says: "Though exploring both is very tempting to me, I do have a bias for outer space, as indicated by one of my earlier responses."

2 says: "WA. ON one hand......thers shimp in tha sea.....BUT...... space is so swag cool......................girl idk im hypothetically exploring both baybee you cant stop me im already doing it in my brain get naed"

(tourney post)

Previous answers:

1 said (R1:M5) - Q: "amogus" - A: "Interesting invention of language. I'd like to study you."

1 said (R2:M3) - Q: "What would be your dream job? Specifically, if it could be literally anything, even if it would be impossible." - A: "I have a few ideas. I suppose you'll want to hear my most interesting one, yes? Well, a dream job for me would be to lead in an intergalactic expedition. So many new frontiers to discover... And I'd love to see it with my own eyes."

1 said (R3:M2) - Q: "what is the most Mediocre color in your opinion?" - A: "Hm. Mediocre? Personally, I don't really see any perceived wavelength of light as 'mediocre'. So many wonders of science in these hues..."

1 said (R4:M1) - Q: "I probably asked this before but thats okay new set of people would you smooch a ghost" - A: "Hm. This answer may not resonate very well with you, but I do not believe in the existence of ghosts. However, speaking in a hypothetical situation in which imaginary concepts may exist... Perhaps I may, as you say, 'smooch a ghost'. It would depend on many factors though. Is the ghost hostile? Is the ghost a complete stranger or someone I may recognize? Is the ghost from present day or centuries old? Does the ghost want to interact with me? Did the ghost ask me first? I could be asking questions all day."

1 said (R4:M1) - Q: "Say something nice about yourself :]" - A: "For starters, I've created many impressive machines in the last few years. [insert list of them here because i cant be bothered to actually come up with any rn lol] Plus, I was a top student in practically all subjects back in the day. My husband and I are also currently working on the blueprints for something big... but I won't spoil the surprise."

---

2 said (R1:M10) - Q: "what’s your ideal burger" - A: "BURGER ! ! ! YEAW !! ! ! ! !! !!!!! ideal burger is made by the friends we made along the way"

2 said (R2:M5) - Q: "how do you feel about shapeshifters" - A: "damn that would be so swag gender. well i can kinda do that but not rlly its not like im actually shifting my shape im just like hey looking at me im tricking (like the hit game) this michaelwave or whatever lolll"

2 said (R3:M3) - Q: "Opinions on nicknames? Do you like giving them? Receiving them? Have you gotten any that stand out to you? Would you like to get more or less?" - A: "DUDE NICKNAMSE ARE LIKE. MY BRAND. i better win this one guys cmon my nickname swag is sooooo cool awesome sauce. one of my BESTIES gives me a REALLY SWAG NICKNAME its [REDACTED] oh wait i guess im not allowed to say that or else itll like ruin my anonyminity or whatever 🙄🙄 ok be that way. as if im not obvious already 🙄 cuz im just so iconic 🙄 whatever im changing this guy's contact names again"

2 said (R4:M2) - Q: "if you were a pokemon what type(s) would you be" - A: "electric/ghost baybeee. just like rotom fr :] peace on earth <3 id be like one of those silly regional evolutions probably (trust me this makes sense if you know my silly weird backstory)"

2 said (R4:M2) - Q: "What's your favourite thing about yourself?" - A: "my SWAG and COOLNESS im litearlly so hot and amazing and hilarious ooo you wanna kiss me so bad ooo"

[arttsuka]

Hi! I saw your post about a platonic date. It's probably too parasocial of me, but I'd like to take you on a platonic date!!

I think we are in different countries so a lot of stuff is probably different but hmmm.... Id probably start by having us go to a cafe? You seem like you'd enjoy a really small quiet cafe. I used to have one down the street and every dish they used was like a unique vintage one, it was so cute! And they had good pastries.

Then if the weather is nice, maybe we go on a picnic in the park? And bring our sketchbooks and doodle? We could have premade some sandwiches. Maybe we went to the store and bought some fancy stuff to put on the sandwich you wouldn't normally buy. Like caviar or something crazy lol. Or maybe we just do the classic cute fruit and whipped cream sammies that you see on Pinterest. Lol that's probably a lil silly. Idk lol the vibe would just be to celebrate being alive and being friends. So we're just trying to keep it low-key and do something fun.

If the weather was bad (it's rainy as hell here), I guess we'd just spend the time indoors? It would be fun I think to maybe do something silly like make a pillowfort and watch TV. You could show me squid games season 2 and talk about toxic yaoi lol or maybe I'd have you watch some of my fav Star Trek next gen episodes to see if you like them as much as the OG series.

Id probably leave you with a gift of chocolate and tea bc everyone needs that and then go home I guess lol.

Idk that's all probably v silly. I hope it came across as cute and not weird???? Idk I like taking people on platonic dates is a lot of fun and I really like your blog and we've chatted a few times in the replies and rhisjridjshdje I know this is super parasocial of me, but idk I hope it made you smile a little?

Idk just know if I knew you irl we'd be friend and idk how weird and awkward u are bc I'm weird and awkward too lol.

Anyway, happy Valentine's Day and I hope you have a good day!

Giggling and kicking my feet this is so cute

Sure let's roleplay a platonic date :)

We're definitely in different countries but that's ok, internet magic. You can talk to people across the world (mind blowing if you really think about it)

We don't really have a working park here where you can sit with blankets for a picnic etc but we do have a harbor so we could drink something by the sea. We could also sit in a bench to watch the sea (not a lot of options here, just sea). We could still have sandwiches

Real image from pinterest that I found on Google of these aesthetic sandwiches

God I'd hate them so much I can't stand fluffy whipped cream textures but I want to try them :////

And after we spend all our outdoors time by the sea because there is nothing else worth doing here, we could go to my house and I'd show you my yugioh card collection, my coin (euro coins tho) collection and my pin collection (I love collecting stuff).

We could watch tv and I'd trick you into watching strangers from hell (real dialogue btw this happens)

I hope you have not very short hair because I will massage your scalp/playing with your hair and I don't like short hair (I do the thing with the nails. People like it when I do that and it's the only way I usually contribute when I'm with others. Kinda sad ngl they don't want to include me in the conversation)

Yes I have photos for everything

If I have time I'd bake you cookies 🍪 as a gift and I'd give you a little drawing (little as in, regular sized but all my drawings are 'little' so yeah)

Anyway, the whole thing is silly but in a fun, whimsical and kind-hearted way. Happy valentines 💝

[christallise]

reasons why you (should)n't play league of legends

pairing: felix x reader (afab)

word count: 2000

warnings: sub!felix, mummy kink, implied lactation, use of pet names (angel, baby boy etc etc), breeding

a/n: this was lowkey inspired by happenings in an actual league game, i hope anyone who plays league get's a little chuckle out of this too! i was considering maybe making a series of meeting the boys through games but idk yet !!! written at the behest of @lixtokki

Playing league of legends is unnecessary stress that, if given the choice, you would never partake in. The game stirs emotions in you that you didn’t know you even had, the rage blinds you and although your friends insist that its humorous, you have your doubts. Sometimes your mouth runs a little too far; irregardless if the person on the receiving end is deserving of it or not.

Today, you’re laning against Diana in the top lane — already annoying since she can get close to you — you’d have to play safe until mid game. It’s less than two minutes in before you curse aloud to no one when you see the chat ping. 

lixie001 (Diana): report my team noobs

lixie001 (Diana): don’t know how to leash jungler

Great, she’s toxic to boot.

So there is something so satisfying when you’re up 4 kills to 0 and the chat moves at a pace that’s difficult to keep up with as none other than lixie001 chooses you to fall victim to his fiery wrath. 

lixie001 (Diana): you fucking scrub who even plays teemo

lixie001: (Diana): uninstall the game cunt

Oh, a C bomb. 

Usually, you don’t take the bait from flamers; in the end it’s really not worth it to get all riled up over a stranger on the internet that knows nothing. Today felt different though — no, something about this Diana felt different. Something tells you that pressing her buttons would be fun. 

What’s the worst that could happen?

ihatethisgame (Teemo): goo goo ga ga

ihatethisgame (Teemo): little baby gonna piss his pants?

lixie001 (Diana): fuck you noob

Oh this was definitely gonna be fun.

The remainder of the game, you continue to stomp this Diana, each of her deaths accompanied by complaints, whines and insults flooding the chat. This makes you laugh, to see this person so depressingly defeated that the only way they can deal with the failure is losing their shit.

Your team thank you when the victory screen flashes on your screen and the final message from lixie001 reads something along the lines of “go touch some grass freak”. How Satisfying.

The assumption that this feud would end alongside the game was wishful thinking; of course your client pings and lo and behold, it’s the person of the hour.

lixie001: fucking scrub, plays were so shitty and playing the noobest champ

ihatethisgame: you talk big for someone who went 0/12

lixie001: lol going 10/1 but probs got a tiny cock

ihatethisgame: bet u couldn’t run your mouth like this irl lmao

lixie001: u wanna bet?

ihatethisgame: i literally already did, idiot

Man, this guy really was a piece of work. You start to wonder if trying to have some fun with him was even worth the trouble. Then, he propositions you with something interesting.

lixie001: fucking 1v1 me where you at

lixie001: come to my pc bang we’ll make a fucking day of me kicking your arse

You have no idea what makes you accept the offer, maybe it was the fact you would be meeting in a public place or maybe it was the comfort of the assumption that you were probably a man; either way an agreement is made. You both decide on time and a place to meet this loser in person and give him the beating (in game) he deserves.

*******************************************************

Turns out almost every pc bang is filled with sweaty, try hard men with a desk full of doritos and littered with empty cans of monster energy so finding Lixie would prove to be a task that you couldn’t fulfil without begrudgingly questioning the owner; if Lixie spends a lot of time here then he must be infamous. Of course you’re correct, the owner points you towards the middle of the large yet somehow cramped room to a row of PC’s that were mostly unoccupied with dots of empty seats. There, you find a dainty looking boy with brilliantly artificial blonde hair; surely this little thing could not be the behemoth that told you to go fuck yourself? You doubt it even more so when he turns to face you, lips perfectly pouted and a smattering of freckles adorning his face.

“Lixie?” you question.

“That’s me.”

Fuck — his voice is deep; it shakes you to the core. How can a voice like this come from…well, that. 

Now your confidence has shaken but only slightly and it almost disappears entirely when Lixie’s lips curve into a smile that you thought unimaginable from a person like him.

“And you’re y/n, huh?” He quizzes, making sure to give you a good look up and down, hands cradling his hips. “You’re what I’m beating? Kinda feel bad for beating a girl.”

Oh. There’s the snark. And the confidence you recently lost.

“Oh I’d watch that smart little mouth of yours,” you grin, taking your jacket off and swinging it over the back of the swivelling seat before setting your ass down. 

“You have no idea what’s about to go down.”

*******************************************************

Perhaps you should have listened to your own words. You have no idea how but now you’re entangled in each other’s arms, lips pressed together, tongues dancing to an imaginary beat as you attempt to find your footing through Lixie’s? Felix’s? Apartment? You’re unsure what you should be calling him and honestly with the feeling of his hands cupping your ass as you manoeuvre your way to the bedroom makes it slip your mind.

“You,” he breathes through breaks in kisses, “Aren’t what I expected.”

“You expected a man don’t lie to me,” you chuckle softly, making quick work of your clothes, tossing your jeans to the darkness. “Didn’t you?”

Felix nods in agreement, too busy removing his own jeans to really find the time to reply properly. Now, in the freedom of just your underwear, you gently shove Felix to the bed so his back comes into contact with the sheets and without hesitation, you sit neatly on his lap.

“Now,” you say, letting your fingers explore the blank canvas of his chest, “You gonna run your stupid little mouth of the way you did before?” Your fingers locate a nipple and pinch it gently for good measure.

“N-no,” he stammers because fuck that feels so good, his voice is weak and quiet — such a beautiful contrast to the first time you’d heard him speak. Unsatisfied, you pinch a little harder and watch him squirm and writhe beneath you.

“No?“ You repeat yourself, beginning to grind your clothed cunt along the growing bulge in his boxers, “Speak up, angel.”

“No!” it’s a little loud but you forgive him, the poor thing's cock is already hard and giving your pussy the most wonderful friction as you dry hump him, your underwear growing damper by the second.

“Good boy,” you say because he really is being so good and so well behaved. It’s a little shocking to see how willingly Felix gives himself to you but you’re definitely not complaining; watching his teeth gnaw on his bottom lip from the sheer pressure on his dick makes you moan. “Do you like feeling Mummy’s pussy on your little cock baby boy?”

Of course he nods — he nods so much you worry about his poor neck. “Yes fuck , it feels so good Mummy.”

You continue like that, gliding your heat along his clothed cock until he’s twitching and squirming, rolling his hips around in a desperate attempt to get you closer, he needs you closer. It’s cute, honestly, you watch him with fond eyes as you cup your own tits, rolling your nipples between your fingertips. Then, an idea comes to you.

“Is my pretty little boy hungry?” You ask, watching how his eyes light up and his lips part only slightly to allow him to breathe the tiniest “yes”. You coo, motioning with a single finger for him to sit up before you offer him your tits; tits he happily latches onto and begins to lap at and suck.

“Oh my pretty baby boy,” you coo once more, threading your fingers through his golden tufts of hair, making sure to give nape of his neck extra attention, “You’re doing so well for me.”

And you mean it, you really do. The way his tongue expertly flicks and sucks at your nipples just perfectly, like his lips were made only for you makes your cunt throb. Felix, still suckling at your tit, glances up at you through thick lashes and moans so adorably. “If you do a good job, Mummy will reward you, my sweet boy.”

That only spurs him on more and you’re surprised to see that his concentration has now turned solely on you; his hips have stopped begging for your pussy and you can tell he so badly needs to be rewarded, so badly needs to fuck you. 

By now, the pressure in your pussy is overwhelming and you can’t take it anymore; your soft strokes of his hair come to a slow halt and you tilt his head up to face you with a single finger. “You did so well!”

Felix grins, his angelic smile almost makes you forget all about how horrible he was to you in your first encounter. No, you’ll never forget that and you know he hopes you won’t. For a moment you hum, feigning ignorance on what to do next and Felix huffs.

To this, you lean back on your knees and present your clothed cunt to him, patting it gently before showing Felix just how fucking wet he made you. “You see this?” you say, teasing your clit through your panties. “You want this angel?”

“Please,” he groans with a violent rut of the hips, “I need your pussy Mummy please.” He’s sweating now, chest heaving and you’re intoxicated by how fucking full of want and need he is.

You can’t wait any longer, you hastily make work of his boxers before using two fingers to slowly slide your panties to the side after which you lower you pussy onto his cock; enchanted by the missed feeling of being so fucking full and watching with twisted delight how Felix hisses and gasps.

His hands immediately seek your tits while you bounce ever so gently on his dick, making sure to roll your hips every now and then just to watch how he unravels below you. 

“Look at you!” You praise, hips never once halting, “You’re filling me up so good aren’t you?”

“Yes fuck, so tight. So fucking good, shit.”

Felix can’t speak in full sentences, he’s lost the ability to be coherent. All he can think about is how your cunt squeezes so delightfully around his cock and how fucking full your tits feel in the palm of his hand. His head lolls back as your pace quickens, breath hitching in his throat.

“You gonna fill Mummy up, yeah?” one of your hands join his, clasping around them to make him squeeze your tits harder. “Wanna fill my cunt up with your cum, yeah?”

Now he’s really lost it, his hips snap against yours in a random rhythm and your free hand reaches down to rub at your clit while you ride him, desperate yourself to reach the high that was so, so fucking close.

Felix grunts, he squirms and he writhes as his own orgasm teases him — it’s when he catches a glimpse of you bouncing so perfectly and tirelessly playing with your clit that he almost combusts. “I’m gonna cream all over your cock baby boy,” You groan, losing all inhibition, “Wanna cum for you.” 

Almost instantly, you feel his cock swell inside you, stretching you so fucking good and then you feel his orgasm approach. Within seconds he’s a moaning mess, cock pumping your little cunt full of cum. This feeling alone is enough to bring you to your own high; your juices soaking Felix’s lap.

In the darkness you lay there, both panting and gasping for breath as you feel the familiar comedown. It’s not until your breathing returns to normal that you realise Felix has his arm tucked neatly around you and you’re far too tired to switch up your positions.

“What did you learn from this?” You try to mask your teasing but of course, Felix can see right through it.

“That I should flame people more often.”

[always-andromeda]

Meda!

your response to my last ask had me in happy tears!! I'm one of your internet pen-pals??? 🥹🥹 me??? 🥹🥹 I genuinely could not me more honored and I'm so glad that my messages can do even just the tiniest bit to cheer you up or share some comfort 🥰

and re: therapists - I totally agree! they'll tell me to try something and I'll be like "oh idk if that will work" but then I try it and it does work and then I'm like "oh yeah I guess they're like trained in this or something lol" 😅 And also I am so so proud of your for trying out the whole "thinking positive thoughts until you believe them" thing about your self-image!!!! that is so fantastic and wonderful and I hope it continues to work for you because you absolutely deserve to feel happy and beautiful in your body ☺️☺️

and godspeed on your schoolwork! when does your semester wrap up? (and also related to that, do you have a favorite animal - or a number of favorite animals? when I was a TA this past year I always gave my students "emotional support stickers" when we would review for an exam and I still have quite a few left over. I'm not sure if I could actually get them to you, but I could certainly take a picture of some to send to you and hopefully the cuteness of the stickers would make up for the fact that they're only digital? but also no pressure at all if you don't want them! (my brother has a phobia of stickers so I get it lol))

sending you huge hugs and all the best always always always!!

charlotte 🎨

Of course you're my internet pen pal!! 🥺 Yeah, being mutuals is cool and everything. But I much prefer calling them internet pen pals. It just feels so much fuzzier and more personal? There are just some internet friends I've made where I feel like they're my bunkmates at summer camp and you're definitely one of them! We might be total strangers, but you best believe that in the back of my mind, I think to myself at least once a week, "I hope Charlotte is doing well today." ☺️💞

As for school, I actually just finished my last final yesterday! Currently feeling lots of mixed emotions about it though because I always feel bizarre at the end of a semester. My brain has kind of been trained to feel worthless if I'm not actively pursuing something academic so summers tend to feel more depressing and less of a relief? I know I'll feel a bit better once I get my classes for next semester all lined up and once I can talk things through at my next therapy appointment though!!

And lucky for you, I am a massive sticker fiend (I have a whole container full of ones I've acquired over the years lol). So I would appreciate them wholeheartedly, even in digital form!! 🥹 And listen...I love...so many different animals. Turtles, monkeys, possums, raccoons, bears, foxes...those are just the first few that come to mind but I love so many different animals.

You're so very sweet to make the offer, Charlotte. 🥺 Thank you so so so much. And congratulations again on the masters degree!! Hopefully aside from the grading and moving, you have more time to decompress and pursue more of your creative outlets. Overall, I just hope that life gives you exactly what you're looking for because you're a lovely and hardworking person who deserves it entirely. All of my love, support, and hugs right back at you, dear. 💞✨

[hiccstridshipper19]

Tagged twice! Thanks y'all~

I have a confession: I haven't been living up to my url name...it's been a while since I've read multi-chapter Hiccstrid fics, and I can hardly keep track of what I've read due to reading mostly on Tumblr and FFN for Hiccstrid. I also prefer to indulge my Hiccstrid shipping needs by watching video edits, since that's what introduced me to them in the first place. Regardless, I'm still gonna try my best here to answer and hopefully find some renewed Hiccstrid-fanfic-reading energy!

Last Hiccstrid Fic You Read: Thor Help Her by KageOkami-Kogo

Favorite Hiccstrid au (Modern, High School, Spy, College, Hogwarts, etc) and favorite fic in that genre: arranged marriage. Idk the two just kinda seem to fit to me. Or maybe because some of my favorite Hiccstrid fics are written in that au. I also love canon divergent, which pretty much dominates HTTYD fics lol.

Latest Hiccstrid Bookmark on AO3: to go with grace by @urparty

Last 3 Hiccstrid Authors You've Read: @katergator84, KageOkami-Kogo, @p-artsypants

Favorite Hiccstrid Trope (i.e. friends-to-lovers, idiots-to-lovers, rivals-to-lovers, enemies-to-lovers, strangers-to-lovers, love-at-first-sight, angst . . . the list goes on): childhood best friend to lovers my beloved <3<3<3

Song That Makes You Think of Hiccstrid: since I was introduced to Hiccstrid via YouTube and watched a lot of music video edits that were also my first exposure to those songs, I actually associate a lot of songs with Hiccstrid simply because of the beautiful visuals created to go with the music, and not necessarily due to the lyrics. If I have to pick one two three songs, it'd be Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillips Phillips, I Won't Say I'm In Love from Hercules, and Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows.

Favorite Canonverse Fic: I can't really think of a specific fic and its title at the moment, but I bet a lot of the drabbles or short fics I've read filling in the gaps between their days in RTTE or RoB/DoB would take the spot.

Favorite Canon-Divergence Fic: Inner Struggles by @slavicviking is my ABSOLUTE favorite HTTYD fic, hands down. Need I say more? I'm expecting each and every one of you to know this one, because if not, it's going into the next prompt (could always use MORE RECOGNITION!!)

Hiccstrid Fic That Deserves More Recognition (don't they all): oh hell yeah they do. Go read Inner Struggles^ if you haven't yet.

Favorite Hiccstrid Series: gosh it's been so long since I last read one that I can't quite seem to recall which ones are which, and I'm also ashamed to admit I might not have read enough to give a good answer to this one. Will try to get back into it at some point!

Man this post has really made me realize how much fandom memories I lost to time...most of it due to me browsing the internet in guest mode for too many years. I hope my answers aren't too disappointing. Opening up the floor for anyone who wants to add to the conversation!

11 People's Hiccstrid Preferences You Want to Get to Know Better

Last Hiccstrid Fic You Read: Reconciliation by @heathenvampires

Favorite Hiccstrid au (Modern, High School, Spy, College, Hogwarts, etc) and favorite fic in that genre: I love modern aus the most (as they included high school and college and spies and the like) but it's too hard to choose one favorite. 😅 I guess I would go with @harrypanther's Behind the Mask, @katergator84's Walls We Build, and @triumphantfury's Wrapped in Red although it was painful to choose that over Upside of Heartbreak

Latest Hiccstrid Bookmark on AO3: Gravity by @weepynymph

Last 3 Hiccstrid Authors You've Read: @hiilikedragons or CuriosityRedux, @heathenvampires (HeathenVampires), and

Favorite Hiccstrid Trope (i.e. friends-to-lovers, idiots-to-lovers, rivals-to-lovers, enemies-to-lovers, strangers-to-lovers, love-at-first-sight, angst . . . the list goes on): uhhh, I love all of these, but I guess I'll go with slowburn, because I like to torture myself? One amazing slowburn-on-high-heat Hiccstrid fics that had me screaming at them to kiss from chapter one was @whathappenedtomyweekend's It's Just A Spark I'm so worried I'm going to read another fic and then go oh shit this one's my new favorite but oh well

Song That Makes You Think of Hiccstrid: 2step by Ed Sheeran. IDK I just think it kinda perfectly protrays how much Hiccup appreciates Astrid's ability to help him out of his dark holes

Favorite Canonverse Fic: Okay so Here's Hoping isn't exactly canonverse but the extraordinary @hiilikedragons apparently has a better grasp on Hiccstrid and their kids than Dreamworks so it's practically canon in my mind

Favorite Canon-Divergence Fic: Persephone by @thatsnicebutimmarried (I don't think I'll ever try to not mention that wonderful genius)

Hiccstrid Fic That Deserves More Recognition (don't they all): The Lady Knight I'm kidding I swear Hiccup in a Flash I'm sorry but I am so obsessed with this fic and it's unfinished but so good and worth it. Also Thor Help Her. I believe I've mentioned this fic before but I don't have any of you messaging me about the steamy hot tension so I'll keep recommending it. One fic that blows my mind each time I read is Do Flight Simmers Dream of Inflight Emergencies? and I guess I'll stop there but there are so many more

Favorite Hiccstrid Series: if not in this world, then in the next by @impracticable-dreamer literally this is a priceless gem and I can never forget it

tagging: @ryupioupiou @triumphantfury @katergator84 @mialicassi @sorushing @per4mancecheck @limesandcoconuts @hiccstridshipper19 @athingofvikings @shipmistress9 and @bi-bi-want-dragon but feel free to participate even if you aren’t tagged!

(yes this is pretty much an excuse to gush over some of my favorite hiccstrid content and endeavor to get more recommendations)

[royalcalum]

Must Love Dogs

Featuring: Calum x reader

Warnings: language, mentions of being catfished I guess... it’s just straight up fluff tbh

Summary: As an up-and-coming Twitch streamer, you’re used to befriending people online. When you start getting cozy enough with one fan for them to ask for a ride from the airport, you find out who you’ve really been talking to for six months.

Author’s Note: I’m going to try to start rewriting some old fics (mainly Calum tbh) to make them more realistic (lol as if this is realistic) and better in general so this is a rewrite of “blurb request lol 4/4 where you're whole relationship has been on the internet like you met on twitter or something and you finally meet at the airport after like five months idk this would be really cute and it's like my dream :----(“ Not beta’d

It started as an innocent fan and creator friendship. You’d been streaming on twitch for a while and had gained a decent sized following, averaging about 500 viewers per stream. Needless to say, your comments section was a little difficult to keep up with. But even with the quick scrolling of new comments with each statement you made, you noticed one name in particular whose comments were always funny or sweet instead of crude and vulgar, like some of those your mods were frequently deleting.

When that same username followed you on Twitter not long after you took notice of them, you were quick to follow back. You’d followed a few of your “fans” before, so it wasn’t unusual. Hell, it wasn’t even odd for you to DM back and forth with some of your followers. What was out of character was becoming attached to one of those fans.

All you knew was his first name (Calum), his age (24), and his location (LA) before you started talking regularly. He had asked for your number at one point, but was understanding when you said you don’t give out that kind of information. For you, it was a relief to finally talk to a man who not only enjoyed your streams, but didn’t make you feel objectified and demeaned. For him, it was a relief to finally meet someone who liked him instead of his name or money.

Communicating with him grew difficult when he flew to Australia to visit family. The time difference still gave you time to DM every day, but staying up late wasn’t quite the same when it was just afternoon for him. You’d already spent five months talking to him and as much as you hated admitting it, you had started to care for this mystery man despite never seeing his face. That never stopped you before (Corpse, anyone?), but for all you knew, “Calum, 24, California” was actually “Craig, 42, Alabama.”

When it came time for him to fly back to LA, you were surprised when he asked if you wanted to meet up when he got back. Like, right when he got back. As in “my friend can’t pick me up and I don’t want to ask you of all people to suffer through LAX traffic so I can just get an Uber if I need to but it’d also be nice to finally meet if you could give me a ride from the airport,” back.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t apprehensive. He was technically still a stranger you met on the internet and you couldn’t guarantee he wasn’t going to overpower you, take your car, kidnap you, and murder you somewhere in the desert. But you took precautions and told your roommate and a couple other friends where you would be and when to expect you back. If things went well and you spent more time with Calum, you’d call them and tell them, no texting.

Two days later, you stood next to your car parked outside the baggage claim for his airline. You didn’t even know who to look for, but he knew what you looked like — obviously, since you met through your twitch stream.

As people started to flood out of the airport doors, you started to wonder if you had been duped. Would this be a story worthy of Nev and Max? Being led to an airport just to be stood up? More and more people left the terminal while you took up space with your car. You’d get a ticket if you didn’t leave soon — your car may be running but you were technically parked in the loading zone — and your anxiety just continued to grow. He wouldn’t lead you on for nearly six months and stand you up at LAX, of all places… right?

Just as you looked down at your phone again to let your roommate know you might be back sooner than expected, you heard your name called from a few feet away.

And when you looked up, you were starstruck.

“You motherfucker,” you laughed as he got closer. “You knew I was a fan from my stream! That’s why you didn’t want to FaceTime!”

He laughed with you and didn’t hesitate to pull you into a hug.

“It was fun getting to just talk to you,” he defended. “I didn’t want you to unintentionally treat me differently just because you like my band.”

It felt nice to not only meet him, but feel him. He held you tight against his chest, his arms circling your shoulders with yours around his waist. And his thick sweater gave you a soft cushion to rest your head against as you just held each other. You pulled back from his hug but kept your hands on his ribcage, his resting on the sides of your neck as you asked, “How did you end up on my stream?”

“Someone tweeted a clip of you singing one of our songs from an older stream so I decided to check you out. I thought you were pretty and fun so I came back for more.”

For a second, you just stared up at him in multiple stages of shock. This was Calum Hood. From your favorite band. He just hugged you. And called you pretty. How could you handle this?!

But you could handle this. Because he was also the guy you had been talking to for the past six months. The guy you stayed up late talking to and who sent supportive messages when your chat got too aggressive and told you stories from his childhood. You knew him. You just had to let yourself realize the man you’d grown to care about personally was also the man you cared about as a fan.

Holy shit.

“Are you okay?” he asked, sliding his hands down your neck and over your shoulders to your upper arms as he looked down at you with concern etched on his face.

“What? Oh, yeah. Sorry, it’s just taking me a second to really let this all sink in,” you admitted.

“Yeah, now that we’re here, I’m realizing I probably should’ve broken the news in a less, uh, spontaneous way,” he laughed nervously, dropping his hands from you and shoving them in his pockets instead.

You should’ve just kept your mouth shut to keep those hands on you. Or if luck was on your side, he’d have his hands all over you later.

“I mean, I’m not mad about it,” you shrugged. “It’s just not what I expected.”

“What did you expect?” he asked with a smirk.

You let out a sigh. “Honestly? I was kind of expecting to either be stood-up or meet a 42-year-old balding man from Alabama with a beer belly named Craig.”

“Wait… his beer belly is named Craig?”

“No, he is named Craig, you doof!” you laughed, gently shoving Calum’s arm.

“Well I’m sorry to disappoint,” he said with that same smirk on his lips.

“Oh believe me, I’m anything but disappointed,” you replied with a quirk of your own lips. “So, am I taking you to your place then?”

Calum started loading his luggage into the backseat of your car as he spoke to you. With only two checked bags and a carry-on, he didn’t have much, but clearly wouldn’t let you help as he hoisted everything in.

“Yes, please,” he said as he shut the car door. “As excited as I am to finally meet you, I really miss my dog.”

You gasped and immediately perked up. “Duke?!”

“Yeah,” he laughed. “Do you want to meet him?”

“Oh my god, yes!” You ran around to the driver’s side and impatiently waited for Calum to get in and buckle his seatbelt before weaving through the waiting cars to get out of LAX. Fortunately, Calum got in on a late night flight so the traffic wasn’t as bad as you’ve seen before.

“I feel like you’re more excited to meet my dog than you are to meet me,” Calum pouted from the passenger’s seat.

“As excited as I am to finally meet you,” you started with a direct quote, “I really love dogs.”

[ntamain]

Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she's gay?

another gay gem from the r/relationship reddit

Update:

Image ID under the cut, please let me know if I did it wrong!

[Image ID: four screenshots of a post from the relationship subreddit by tumblr user nta-main. The title reads “Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she’s gay?”

The text reads “Update post is now locked, I cant believe so many people were interested in us!! Thank you again for your support, comments and messages.

Hi all, I can't believe I'm asking for advice from a bunch of strangers on the internet but I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry for the incoming essay but I guess I need to give history. I bought my first house in September last year, It was an odd time but everything just fell into place. It's quite a small village and everyone is really friendly so I got to know my neighbours soon after moving in - yes, socially distanced. Then I met my over-the-road neighbour, let's call her Elle. I can't describe it but it's the first time I've ever met someone and been lost for words and my heart was racing and just thought "omg", y'know?? So after I blushed my way through a welcome to the village type convo we only saw each other for a wave and hello for a few days.

To help kinda settle in I had my dog (Bea) with me for the first few weeks. During this time there was a massive increase in dog thefts in a nearby town, not just from gardens but literally wrestled away from people. If I'd have been working (furloughed off and on since March) then I would've taken Bea back to mum's but since I was home with her all day she stayed. So the local police advised to not walk dogs alone but we go out twice a day, a 10k run in the morning and a few miles walk in the evening. So obvs this scares me, but at the same time she is honestly a pain in the arse and gets upset if she doesn't go for a run and needs to be tired out so I'm kind of stuck at this point. Then along comes Elle. She knocked on the door and offered to come with us as she'd seen Bea and me in the evenings and everything kind of spiralled from there. I told her about my morning runs but she didn't really bite so I thought nothing of it. Then a few days later I bumped into her on a run, so she started joining us on those too.

A few months later and we are spending more and more time together everyday. It has now progressed to a run early morning, afternoon coffee, dinner most evenings and then the evening walk. It just seemed to happen without me really noticing. I didn't read into things that much as I don't want to get my hopes up and ruin anything until another neighbour commented about how much time we spend together and how "it's nice to see you young gals getting on" and winked. She actually winked at me. I asked her what she meant but she just laughed and said "you know what I mean". So now I'm looking back on things and wondering if she could like me too?

Here's some reasons why she might like me:

I went running along the same route at the same time for nearly 2 weeks before I happened to run into her a few days after I told her this?

I make her a coffee every afternoon (Elle is WFH) and take it over in her fave mug. She says I make good coffee but I'm pretty sure I saw a fancy coffee machine the first time I went round (it's not there now?).

Elle carried on running and walking with me even after Bea went home. I told her she was going back to mum's and she said well "I'll have to make another excuse to join you" and then we just carried on everyday.

She has tried really hard to bond with Bea. Bea is a very anxious dog and is scared of everyone except me and mum. Elle bought special treats to give her everyday and has been so amazing with her and never tried to force anything. When I asked her she said "it's important to me that she likes me and is comfortable". Bea actually fell asleep between us on the sofa yesterday and It just makes my heart skip a beat guys.

She invited me to the zoom quiz she does with her friends every fortnight or so and they were all like "oh so this is who we've heard so much about "

We realised we had become each other's support bubble. Elle asked if I was meeting anyone else and I said no, she said she was glad she had me all to herself (!!)

We gave each other quite personal xmas presents. Like, it actually made me tear up it meant so much to me. And she bought stuff for Bea!!

Reasons why she might not like me:

All the reasons above, but that she's just doing them because she's a fucking great person and we're friends?

It might sound dumb but idk I need your help guys. She is the just the most incredible person I have ever met and I really really like her but if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same I don't want to lose her friendship as she has become such a huge part of my life. I genuinely have no experience with these kind of things as I went to quite a strict all girls school, so it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen and then I went to a very small uni (8 of us on my course). I guess another reason is that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 10 years, as well as my weight and working on my self confidence, but I can say that right now I am the happiest and healthiest (both mentally and physically) I have ever been. I've only just really become comfortable with the fact that I'm gay and I have never really told anyone in real life, but I don't think people would be too surprised lol. I don't have any close friends as no one stuck around when I was really struggling with my MH a few years ago so I can't discuss this with anyone irl.

So I need your advice : how do I find out if she is gay? And no, I don't have the confidence to just ask!! What if she says no and I ruin everything? She has never mentioned anything about past relationships and I'm pretty tactless so not sure how I could naturally slip it into the convo. Like, "hey tell me have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you want one now?" Lol. And how can I make a move without really making a move so I don't ruin things??

tl;dr : Don't know whether my neighbour is gay and into me or is just really friendly. How can I make a move without ruining our friendship?

Edit: Ok guys, thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation and see how she reacts. Then bring up the neighbours comment like some of you suggested, seeing as tho the neighbour was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight otherwise I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens (eek). If you never hear from me again assume it went badly and I am consoling myself with cake and watching brokeback mountain in floods of tears.

Hi reddit, yes it's me the useless lesbian. First off I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement and advice - and the undeserved awards! I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment and that so many of you were rooting for us.

So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into convo like you guys suggested but honestly it all went out the window. Elle was kinda stressed friday after a shitty work zoom and just needed to vent so it wasnt the right time to start anything. Though I guess I must have been a bit off thanks to spending all day overthinking things on here, as Elle turned up Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out and apologised (!!) for ruining dinner. Obvs I said "what are you talking about you can talk to me about anything", and she said "anything?" and I said "anything" back. And guys the tension was unreal, staring at each other and hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in.

Then there was some loud noise like a car backfiring or something and the moment went. So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me why I was a bit quiet the night before and I said something about overthinking stuff and she said "what stuff" and idk you guys I wasnt prepared to be put on the spot my casual gay pop culture references were useless in this moment. My mind just went completely blank and I forgot every single thing you guys suggested and my heart was pounding and I just blurted out you know I like you, right?.

...And then she kissed me. Kissed me. We straight up just snogged in the kitchen and it was fucking great. So...you were right. You were all fucking right. She's gay, she likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly 5 months. sigh

We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian so she'd know for sure - maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would've been a good idea after all? Her friends have been helping her drop hints, she showed me the group chat and guys their suggestions ranged from flirting more to just turning up in a trenchcoat and nothing else lol. Also, the winking neighbour has been making comments to her as well, so shout out to her for trying to make this happen too.

So no cake and cry watching brokeback mountain, just 5 months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date like during lockdown, you were right it's kinda irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday, in fact we didn't leave the house at all, ha.

Thank you guys for giving me hope, even if all your suggestions completely disappeared in the moment. Maybe I'll show her the post later and ask if any of the suggestions would have worked.

tl;dr: she's gay, into me and I'm an idiot”

End image ID]

[fiction-in-my-blood]

Obey Me! Brothers W/ Mentally Slow MC HC

~Longer than necessary A/N ahead so, if you don’t care, you don’t need to read it, just sharing stuff about myself to random strangers on the internet lol.~

So... I’m slow. Like, my brain just does not computer things quick enough a majority of the time? I’m not a great conversationalist because of it, I have a pretty bad stammer, I mix up names even though they don’t sound at all the same, and I get too excited when I do know something that when I try to say it its just a jumble of words that don’t make sense and I tell my friends to just forget about it because I know I won’t be able to say the right words lol. Luckily I have great friends and they give me the time to rethink my sentence so I can say what I want to say. Oh, and I daydream to the point I never dream in my sleep haha. So, this is basically an HC for me lol. That being said, I’m pulling from mostly my own experiences here, so I’m sorry if they sound a lil depressy haha. 

And I would like to say, if anyone can relate, there’s literally nothing wrong with you!!! (Cannot stress this enough). We just have our fun lil quirks.

~Also, I’m so sorry for missing out on Belphie. I love him somuch but I could not think of a scenario for him. If I do in the future I’ll edit or reupload idk.~

~Oh, and @theshove , I finally posted again ;), although I’m sure it’s not gonna be as spicy as you’d like.~

Warnings: Descriptive explanation of a panic attack in Mammon’s HC, reference to bullying in Satan’s

~~~~~~

Lucifer:

At first, he was secretly pretty frustrated.

He thought it was a confidence issue, he heard that was a common thing in human youth, to not believe in yourself and have anxiety about the way you looked, spoke, sounded. 

You would often be having conversations with his brothers, debating a subject that Lucifer took no interest in, and you would be about to put in your input when a stream of nonsense passed your lips.

“Y’know what, nevermind.” Was a frequent phrase that left your lips when you did slip up, sighing to yourself as you thought about how ridiculous you just sounded. 

Lucifer would ensure none of the brothers, or Solomon, ever teased you about your mistakes.

Although, it was mortifying everytime you accidentally called him Levi, and vice versa. 

It was hard enough when you were still getting to know the brothers, but even on a date with the eldest, Levi just seemed like an easier word to say in the moment. It led to a few upsetting misunderstandings and some pretty severe punches to Lucifer’s pride.

Once you two got closer, you explained you mixed up your words because you used to be practically mute.

You weren’t a particularly extroverted child, nor were you interested in much, so you hardly spoke at all. You never got the practice you needed to familiarise yourself with words. It was Devildom that really brought them out of you.

After you did share that with him, he thrived off hearing your voice, even when it took a solid ten seconds to contemplate what you needed to say, even stretching your mouth muscles before you started just in case you stumbled again.

Of course, you made your mistakes now and again, got stuck on a word, laughing at how ridiculous you sounded saying ‘in’ several times in a row when you were trying to argue over tonight’s dinner, but Lucifer never cracked a joke like you did about yourself. 

He smiled, happy that you didn’t let this impact your personality and recovered quickly and, gradually, at snail's pace it felt like at the time, you could hold a conversation, a bright smile on your face when you were able to pull it off.

“Lucifer, I didn’t stutter this time!”

“Well done, MC, shall I give you a reward?”

Mammon:

“Useless human, can’t even talk, huh?” 

Trying to act like the big tough guy he played himself out to be didn’t fare well when you first arrived in Devildom, his brothers practically beat him up every other day for it.

The first time you laid your eyes upon a demon and they explained you would be a transfer student, it took you a few minutes of silence to understand what was actually going on.

It wasn’t because this wasn’t an extraordinary situation, you were an avid reader of fantasy novels and had waited for the day to be transported away from your boring, mundane life, but you just couldn’t compute verbal speech.

In potion class, you had to ask the teacher to write down the ingredients and the quantities because you couldn’t picture the words themselves, so you couldn’t understand what the potion was actually meant to do.

“What’re you writing it all down for?”

“It’s easier for me to listen when I can read what they’re saying. I guess it’s because my hearing’s crap?” 

But your hearing wasn’t all that bad, it was just easier to explain it that way than explaining how transcriptions help you listen.

Sometimes, in the hallways of RAD, the bustling students and whispering gossiping of you, a human, making a pact with Mammon? Apparently it was hilarious to everyone else.

But it wasn’t what the demons were saying, it was how loud they were saying it. 

It was just too many noises at once, you couldn’t decipher the surround-sound mumbling and it stressed you out, made you uncomfortable, and gave you that all too familiar feeling of a panic attack due to the sensory overload. 

Mammon realised your discomfort as tears grew in your eyes and your breathing quickened and, for a moment, he was moving to beat up every single devil that ever even mentioned the word ‘human’.

“Ma-Mammon!” Your frail voice and a tug on his sleeve pulled him back to Devildom and he turned back around to you, watching as you clenched your eyes shut, trying to ignore the buzzing that continued to rattle your brain. 

“Can you take me some place quiet?”

From then on, you would often spend your lunch breaks in a quiet classroom away from the majority of students. It was a good place for you to wind down, especially, when you two were close enough, Mammon would hug you closely, helping the panic in your heart when you did have a panic attack due to all the noises.

You didn’t have them as much now, the noise cancelling headphones he had bought you brought solace as you walked from classroom to classroom.

In class, he would try his best to act as scribe when you were running behind, but he did a terrible job. His handwriting was abysmal, only now did he appreciate how quickly you had to write to keep up with the lessons. 

You appreciate the sentiment all the same, placing a quick kiss on his cheek- you were dating at this point- and explained that he didn’t have to do that for you, you could just get a copy of the teacher’s notes after class.

Now he could never feel more guilty about picking on you when you first got to Devildom.

“Hey, Mamo?”

“Yeah, MC?”

“Thanks for not getting angry at me.”

Leviathan:

You were pretty silent, never really talking unless you were spoken to directly.

Yet, you still had that dumb, normie trap of cute smile on your face when you listened to everyone ranting and raving. 

When you did speak, it was quiet, almost a whisper.

Thank Diavolo for the demon’s enhanced hearing because, if they didn’t, they would be constantly asking you to speak up.

It wasn’t because you didn’t like your voice or you thought you were too loud otherwise, it was just because you couldn’t really be bothered to be louder.

You were content with just listening, watching everyone have a vivid conversation about the latest trouble Mammon had gotten into or Satan raving about the last Detective show you needed to watch. 

You never had any questions to ask in class, and the ones you did have would usually be asked by another student before you got the chance to even raise your hand. You weren’t a genius, just a good listener.

Levi understood, somewhat. Why would you want to talk to his normie brothers? They had nothing interesting to say.

Most of the time he suspected you just weren’t listening to them. 

But, it’s when you were alone together in his room as he told you about the latest anime he was enjoying, he got annoyed.

“Are you even listening to me? I don’t even know why I try. You don’t deserve Henry!”

“I was listening. You were explaining how you think the next season of TSL is going to go. I’ll admit, the Lord of Shadow saving that servant from the Lord of Corruption seems a little far fetched, but it’d be interesting to watch.” 

That had possibly been the longest group of sentences he had ever heard you string together at once. And they were so soft, no hint of trepidation from his accusation.

Eyes wide in embarrassment for misreading the situation, and getting so aggressive about it, Leviathan looked away.

“I’m sorry, I know I seem really dismissive all the time. I just enjoy listening to you talk about your passions.”

The bright smile on your face calmed him down, as it usually did, and, every so often, you would make your comments about the shows you know only because of him. He was very good at explaining plot lines. Even when you had never seen the show, you felt like you had.

You would mainly just talk to Levi from then on, getting to the point where you could express your own hobbies without him judging you as a normie and more as a friend.

Well, not a friend, more than that, much more, but a friend would have to do for now.

The first time you strike up a conversation with him, calling his name from down the hallway of the house you’re staying in as he walks with Asmodeus, Mammon and Beelzebub is possibly the greatest day of Levi’s life.

“Lefty.” You accidentally pronounce his name wrong, like you sometimes do with “Bell” and “Ashmo”.

You didn’t have any problems with saying their names normally, but when you were tired, all hopes of communicating like a normal human being went out the window.

Your words were a low mumble, but they were something Levi had learnt to understand fluently from your late night gaming sessions that would usually end in ruin when your tired brain drastically slowed your reflexes.

“I heard it was your 200,000th bicentennial birthday coming up, so I asked one of my friends to commission this for you.”

Only Diavolo knows how you managed to pronounce centennial at this time of night, but you did it, handing him a paper-wrapped, flat square, a light blush dusting both your cheeks. 

Asmo made a flirty, teasing comment about how close you two seemed and how, now, Levi was the lucky one.

Mammon got jealous, demanding that he wanted a birthday present, even though his milestone couple centuries had literally been a couple centuries ago.

Beel’s stomach grumbled, but he was a little curious about what you could have possibly gifted Levi, and how many words you just said as loud as they would usually be, which was wildly out of character for you.

“It’s the Lord of Shadow and the servant.” Levi gasped upon seeing the magnificent drawing your friend had made for you, which you insisted on paying for, and never had Levi been so jealous to have a friend like that. A friend with such talent. 

“You were right, he did save her.” You smiled, eyes twinkling at the positive reaction Levithan had made. 

You had seen the similarities in the characters with you and the demon. The servant was said to have had their voice stolen as a child, long before they and the Lord of Shadow had met. And it was obvious to you the similarities the anime brothers had with the demon brothers, but you wouldn’t dare tell Levi that. You were worried he’d get shy and call you a normie again.

So that statement you made was a form of confession to Levi. Something you hoped he would understand.

“You watched the season without me?! How did you even get the DVD? It’s not even out yet!”

Yeah, no such luck there.

“Levi, you know what isn’t fair?”

“What could possibly be unfair for you in this situation?”

“That you aren’t as good a listener as I am.”

Satan:

You were an avid texter, just like Satan. 

Your fingers moved so quickly against the screen of your D.D.D or the keyboard of a computer, it was amazing someone could see them. 

And you were smart. On electronics, you could keep up conversations on the latest book you were reading and discuss the detective shows you and he liked to watch together.

It was only when you spoke in person did your conversations so down.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” You cried out after a particularly long and troublesome stutter, mainly annoyed because it was an easy word but all the b’s tied your tongue like a tongue twister. Ironically, you felt like you were blubbering like an idiot.

Your stammer used to be worse, far worse. So bad you couldn’t even tell your parents anything without getting angry at yourself, but you got the speech therapy and learnt to just take it slow when you got eager. 

Everytime you see Satan, you want to be able to match his intellect and speed. You felt almost competitive. 

But it would hardly ever work out in your favour, your ‘S’s coming out like you were trying to start an old engine and ‘B’s and ‘D’s being switched in for each other like you were a toddler.

You spoke before you thought of what you were going to say, hoping the words would just float out of my mouth like everyone else’s did.

But no. Not for you. 

You had to carefully plan each sentence, thinking about every conversation you had so you could make a pre-made answer just so you wouldn’t look like a fool taking so long to speak.

You were ashamed most of the time, bullied for your impediment as a child and even in your teen years by people you told yourself were your friends but really weren’t when they called you teasing nicknames instead of your given one after you had asked them several times to use it. 

They were the main reason you still didn’t have the confidence to speak well now.

“Hey, take it easy. We’re not in a rush.” 

Satan would always be nice, politely giving you the time you needed to take a breather, calm down, and start over again, still blushing from your last stuttering episode.

“Why don’t you call me an idiot?”

A lot of questions similar to these, the only difference- the name you would be called, passed your lips sometimes, when there was a lull in your time together. 

You were used to people making fun, telling you to just shut up already so they didn’t have to hear your stupidity anymore.

“You’re not stupid. I care about what you have to say.”

Satan was always so serious everytime he answered a variation of your question, showing you he really cared. 

You blushed, your mind blank and it would take a couple minutes after that initial compliment for you to reboot.

It was true, though. 

Satan enjoyed watching your lips move and the sound of your voice as you two discussed who the killer in his detective show could be.

You both always came to the same conclusion before the episode ended.

Because most of your conversations happened through text, he found he missed your tone and expressive face when you got really into a subject.

He didn’t care if you stuttered, it was far better than just watching words flash across a screen, as most of your conversations went, on his D.D.D

Although, he did care that you got so angry with yourself. 

Being the Avatar of Wrath, he understood how easy it was to give into frustration and just want to hit something every time you made a mistake, he had done that many times in his younger years, and it wasn’t healthy.

It wasn’t healthy to be ashamed of a mere stumble or get mad at yourself for it, you never learnt that way.

One night, laying in his bed, platonically, you shared your reasoning behind getting so mad everytime you stuttered. 

You had seen Satan’s demon-form once before, but never had you seen it arise so quickly and so fiercely. 

You had been down all day and he had brought you to his room so you could feel comfortable enough to talk to him, but this fearful man, no, creature before you only put you more on edge.

But he continued to hold you.

He continued to wrap his arms around you from behind, spooning your body, trying his best not to fly out of hell right now and hunt down those who had picked on and teased you for all those years for something you couldn’t even help.

To think the reason you hated something he found so endearing was because some mere humans had made you think your excitement to communicate with people was something wrong?

“I don’t think this exchange program is going to work out.”

“Wh...Why?” You tried your hardest now to sound strong, sighing to yourself when you repeated the letters.

“Because I won’t be able to hold back if I have free access to the human world. What kind of assholes do that?”

“Teenage assholes.”

Asmodeus:

What a cute little airhead.

From the moment he first met you, Asmo loved the clueless looks on your face as you sifted through the information you were being given, seconds behind the punch everyone else could get to. 

You were slow, but you were meticulous, combing through every piece of information you could to give the correct response.

You were actually pretty smart because of that fact, studying so hard on everything you did so you weren’t embarrassed by being wrong.

And you weren’t too big with the whole ‘social cues’ thing either, mistaking Satan’s sarcasm for truth and Leviathan’s anger for genuine, relationship-ruining upset, desperately trying to fix the situation so that no one would get hurt.

You were selfless in the strangest of ways, too, opting to go without something you actually, really needed before asking someone for help. 

Once, you had tried ordering shower gel off of Akuzon, but, instead, ordered Shaitan Gell, a special ingredient often used by witches to summon demons. 

You had wondered why it was so expensive, but thought that maybe the Devildom economy wasn’t doing so well right now.

(It wasn’t your money you were using, so what the hell?)

It was even more confusing when it smelled a little off, but demons had strange tastes. Beelzebub literally ate brains and bat wings on the daily.

When Diavolo showed up in your shower the first time you used the oddly thick, black liquid, you just cocked your head, too weird to be embarrassed. Thinking this was a regular occurance in Devildom, you gave the prince a hearty hello and asked him, if he needed anything, could he please wait outside so you could get dressed first.

The news spread like wildfire, especially when Diavolo randomly vanished from a meeting with Lucifer. 

When everyone did find out, as Lucifer was reprimanding you for using such a relic in that way, they teased you endlessly, some offering you their own makes of the potion so you might accidentally summon them in the same way.

Every flirty or sexual remark Asmo made went right over your head, thinking that with every personal question he asked was just asked to make conversation and not genuine interest on his part.

“Do you have a partner?”

“Well, no, I don’t really compete in dance competitions or anything.”

“What positions do you usually go for?”

“I don’t play many sports, but if I had to pick, I’d say a pitcher in baseball. I have a pretty mean throw!”

It actually became a little bewildering how oblivious you were to all of his advances, thinking every time he draped himself over you he was cold and you offered him your jumper.

He took them everytime, so you were starting to run low. He tended to hoard them in his room, savouring the sweet scent of the body wash he had bought for you after the Shaitan incident.

“Asmo, can I get my hoodie back?”

You called through his closed door at some point after returning from school in the dead of winter, shivering in the sweat pants and long sleeved top you already had on.

You were generous, you didn’t think you personally were, but all the brothers knew you would give anyone anything if they asked for it. 

That’s why it wasn’t that ridiculous when Asmo had all of your jackets. Hoodies from years ago, sweaters you bought just to treat yourself because they were so soft, and even this jumper you got from your ex-boyfriend in high school, something you meant to give back but never managed to. You forgot every time you went to meet him with that exact intent the reason for seeing him.

It didn’t remind you of him, he barely wore it before you practically stole it, but it did make Asmo’s heart skip a beat at the ‘sweater-paws’ you got from the much-too-long sleeves. 

Following a clattering from what sounded like trash cans, followed by a comical shriek of a cat, the door flew open to a slightly disheveled Asmodeus, fabric clutched in his hand as he stood topless before you.

“Oh, sorry, Asmo. I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’m just so cold.”

You laughed to show you weren’t upset with him as you rubbed your arms, bouncing on the balls of your feets to get your blood moving enough to create some heat. 

How could all these devils, avatars of the seven deadly sins, not have heating?

“Let me warm you up, MC!”

Without even stopping to hear your answer, but he knew you’d say yes, no matter what, Asmo pulled you in by the wrist, immediately wrapping his bare arms around you the moment the door was closed.

He was warm and you were comfortable with him, he showed you curiosity and care, so you eased into that embrace, thinking it a friendly gesture as a thank you for using your clothes all the time.

When you felt a slight nibble on your ear, you started to freak out a little.

You stuttered out an inquiry as to what he was doing, shyly pushing away as he drew back with his flirtatious smirk.

“I’ve made it so obvious for so long, MC. I really like you.”

Asmo cooed back, prodding your puffed out cheek with the tip of his tongue as you tilted your head to the side the same way you did every time someone told you something new. 

Knowing you would be taking a moment to compute the information, Asmo used this chance to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

“I really like you too, Asmo.” 

The realisation came pretty suddenly. 

You had never put much thought into it.

Sure, he was the Avatar of Lust, he could just be saying this so he could express his temporary desires, but that was how you felt. You weren’t one for holding back, you were always scared of forgetting the topics of your thoughts if you didn’t say them aloud, so you just went for it.

Beelzebub:

Does this person even have bones?!

Like, seriously, your tripping over your feet like they’re not even attached to your body.

Rolling your ankle, walking off in directions that definitely don’t lead to where you intend on going, skipping right passed the class you’re meant to be attending.

The amount of times you’ve gotten lost in both the House of Lamentation and RAD is honestly worrying. 

Your sense of direction? What even is a map because it seems like you’ve never even heard of the concept of signs or specific routes you need to take to get to your bedroom.

To help with your impossibly slow way of getting a lay of the land in your new dorm, you would often take midnight strolls.

Often getting lost, which is how you found Belphegor up in the attic, even when you had stayed on the same floor.

That’s how you and Beel got so close. 

Because of the delectable scents coming from the kitchen, you would often find him having his late night snacks. 

He would invite you to stay, at first only because Lucifer had instructed him to walk you back to your room every time he found you aimlessly wandering the house late at night. 

“Is your ankle okay?” He would ask through a mouthful of food, but somehow you were still able to understand him.

Blushing, you looked down as your injury that was caused earlier in the day. You had stepped weird on the side of your foot- something that would usually happen and something you would usually be able to walk away from- but this time it was on the tall spiral stairs of the school you were still getting to know, sending you tumbling down flights and flights of steps. 

It was a wonder you were human, because even Solomon was shocked you survived that. 

“Y-Yeah, just a little red,” was an understatement.

You’re ankle killed. It was only a little swollen thanks to the spell your sorcerer friend used on you, but that didn’t help the sprain of your tendons. It was slightly bruised, covered by your loosest, most comfortable socks.

“Are you embarrassed?” Beel pointed out your bashful blush and you looked back up. He had seen your obvious hobble as you made your way to his side, but didn’t want to mention it in case you were feeling fragile about the subject.

“It just gives me flashbacks, is all.”

Oh? 

Memories from MC’s past?

Yes, Beel would very much like to hear about that. 

Not to tease or bribe you with, he was genuinely curious about your little human life. Not that you could tell, but he had never been so curious about another being like that. 

“Oh, god, well, I guess I trust you.” You joked, blushing harder as you laughed about the memory that plagues your thoughts. 

One time, in high school, you were walking out of the cantine when you tripped over literally nothing, throwing your bottle of water across the school yard like you needed to save it from your fall. It landed in the middle of a group of older students. 

The amount of laughs you got from that. The teacher that came up to you to ask if you were okay. The cut that occured on your knee. 

(Yes, this is a personal story. Yes, I have ptsd every time I pick up a plastic bottle of water)

Oh, it was like you were reliving the horror right there and then.

“It was mortifying! My friends still bring it up. To. this. day.” You sulk, resting your forehead on the table to hide the deep red on your face. 

“Did it hurt?” The blunt question came as a shock, that’s for sure, and you no longer felt unbearably hot when you looked up to see him. There was little look of amusement except for a kind-hearted smile. 

“W-Well, not as much as this other time...” 

You found yourself telling him all of your most embarrassing tales, seeking for that one story that would make him laugh the way everyone else would laugh at you. 

He didn’t. At all. It was actually a little worrying that he found none of your stories funny. 

Truthfully, he did find the want to chuckle at a few of them, but he didn’t want to betray your trust by laughing at such ‘precious’ memories for you. 

[smolboiseavey]

“Hey, that’s my song!” // Daniel x Reader

word count: 1k

warnings: cheesy, kind of gross, wrote it in literally like 45 minutes, also inspired by tiktok

soulmate au where you can hear what your soulmate is listening to and vice versa. really fluffy and there's like no plot at all lol

hello I'm back from the dead

call me Taylor swift (Bri added this in)

Okay so 

Basically this doesn't make any sense logically but its a tiktok thing and i wanted to write about it

So

Here we go

One day, you’re just chillin

And all of a sudden, you hear quiet music in the back of your mind 

Like it wasn’t playing out loud like you originally thought, but rather playing inside your head

Confused, you turn to the internet for answers

A quick google search later, you find out its a type of soulmate link

The link allows you to hear what song they’re listening to

And whoever they were, definitely had good taste

It didn’t sound familiar, but it slapped

You couldn’t hear it well, but you did pick up a few lyrics

So you wrote them down immediately, determined to find said song

Because it slapped 

THAT hard

Like she was a banger

Bopping

You were jamming along, when it suddenly stopped

With a shrug, you decide to go along with the rest of your day

The song, beyond any doubt, has stuck in your head since then

Meanwhile over at Daniel’s…

He was working on a song in the studio, but what's new

Absolutely nothing

Nada

N e way

Humming along to the beat he was creating, you could say he was really in his divine state

Slowly but surely, he heard a melody in his noggin

A familiar tune filled his earsIt was a song by lauv, who happened to be his friend

He didn’t really remember the name of the song, but he was definitely familiar with it

“Good choice, soulmate.” he mumbled to himself

“What was that?” Jonah asked, “Did you say something?”

“Yeah,” he replied, “my soulmate is listening to a song right now.” 

“Oh cool, i didn’t know you had that link but it's very fitting for a very musical mans like you.”

“Yeah man.” Daniel says with a small smile, “she has nice flavor.” 

Okay back to you

A week has gone by, and youre on your way to a cafe

Fast, right? Well I'm lazy

We zoomin

Also pretend we aren't in a pandemic and they can actually go outside and go to cafes and interact with people without dying

After hearing the song, you tried looking it up

But to no prevail, you came out empty handed

Maybe the song wasn’t out yet?

Was your soulmate a musician???T

hat would be pretty sweet, if you ask me

Anyway

You know what’s super funny? 

Daniel is also there

Crazy!!! Its totally not like i’m writing this to make it work

You walk up to the cashier 

Humming the tune you originally heard

Because she do be stuck

Get some goo be gone

Because she's sticky

Daniel happens to be right in front of you, but since you happen to have no clue who they are for some reason

you don’t notice theres a lowkey famous person right under your nose

As you’re humming away, attention on the menu in front of you

Daniel NOTICES

He notices something…

Sus

He hears a melody, which sounds new but also very familiar

When suddenly it hits him

Its his song!!!! 

But the one that isn’t out yet

How would they know??? What is this?? What am I???? 

He turns

!!!!!

And he’s faced with you

You, who by now has spaced out, does not notice

Come on man, why 

I guess thats on me tho

He taps your shoulder

“Hey.” he says

“Hi.” you reply, “Can i help you?”

“Yeah, actually. What is that you’re humming?”

You look down at your feet with a sheepish smile. 

“I actually dont know.”

He gives you a weird look, but shrugs.“It’s a good melody, I like it.”

“Same here! I think my soulmate played it, thats the only reason why i know. Do you happen to know the song???”

He grins at you

And breaks out into a laugh

Haha

“Actually, that's my song you’re humming! Its not out yet tho.”

And then you go :000000

“No way! That’s crazy man.”

“Yeah,” he says, “i have no idea how you know it. Maybe your soulmate is like one of my producers or something.” 

“Yeah...crazy.” 

You frown a little to yourself

The man before was pretty good looking

A swell looking fellow if you do say so yourself

You definitely would not mind if HE was your soulmate

he probably isn't tho, he’s way too hot

“I can take who’s next!” the barista at the cashier yells.

“Oop, i guess that’s me.” mystery man says, before turning away.

After that you get your drink and sit down, and realize mystery mans is sitting across the room

Putting your headphones in, you decide to get to work and stop thinking about the boy

Humming along with the song playing, you type away at your assignment or whatever you’re working on

That's up to you, its your work not mine

Daniel, sitting there also happens to think the same thing as you

What if YOU were his soulmate? That would explain why you knew the melody to his song when it wasn't scheduled to come out for another like month

All of a sudden, a song cuts into his thoughts

He looks up at you, and sees that you are also listening to a song

And…

Happen to be humming along to the exact song he hears right now

Wow

Thats crazy

Totally didn’t see it coming

Right??? Sure

Immediately, he jumps up from his chair

I’m pretty sure it like fell and made a loud sound

But he’ll worry about that later

He BOLTS over to you

You, on the other hand, do not realize anything that’s going on because you have airpods in (or whatever headphone you use idk)

A song by your FAVORITE ALL TIME BAND who definitely is NOT why dont we…

Is blasting as you work away

So loud you don’t even realize daniel slide into the seat in front of you

When he gets there, he realizes it’s definitely you

Your music is so loud, he can hear it from where he’s sitting

He taps your laptop, and you pause your music, taking an earbud out

“WHy are you here? Can i help you?” you ask the stranger from before

“Hi, my name is daniel. Daniel seavey, to be exact. I think i’m your soulmate.”

That's it the end cliffhanger

And then kiss kiss fall in love 

Maybe 

[3arzal]

sincerity is scary (part 1)

nathan mackinnon / reader

3,200+ words (for this part at least)

friends to lovers. this turned out angstier than i originally planned in my head um...

warning for swearing

author’s note: many months ago, i said i was done with writing, then i clowned myself. this is the first time i’m writing an x reader type of fic because i used to write kpop bg pairings so idk how decent this will be lol. anyway, this is a highly personal and self-indulgent fic and something i’ve wanted to write for a very long time. to all my fellow hopeless-romantic tomboys out there waiting for their turn in love, this one goes to you. i said i was content with reading fics because i’m too lazy to write but oh well fucking shit.

Your first memory including Nate was his fourth birthday party. It was a memory that makes you smile come a time that you think about it while spacing out. You remember it vaguely, but all the details don’t even matter. You remember sitting next to him at the big table as he blows his cake. There’s a picture of that somewhere in the photo albums in your parents’ house. You remember being the new kid in the neighbourhood, but you lived next to the MacKinnon’s. Even if Nate had a few friends from nursery, you eventually became his best friend. You were a shout away from him and all the details don’t matter, because until now that you’re both twenty five, you’re still the bestest of friends even if you lived in different American states--him in Colorado and you finally landing your dream job in New York City.

It was a special friendship that had been rock solid for twenty one years. You know he has a lot of people in his life now being the NHL superstar that he is. You know he considers some of the guys and some of his teammates as his best friends as well. All of that did not bother you to say the least. It was okay, because he was meant for great things and you were there to witness him achieve everything he longed and wished for since you were kids. You know you will always have a place in his heart, and him in yours, because that’s what best friends do, right? They’re each other’s biggest support system, away or together.

You were there in all of his home games, you spent almost all of your childhood with him in the rink, he gladly participated in any hobby you had at the time, and most of all, he made sure that if he had free time, it was all yours. You couldn’t ask for a better best friend and neither can he.

Now, as you sit in front of him in a hotel restaurant in the middle of Aspen at his birthday dinner on a trip he insisted you two take before the pre-season starts, you stare at him in part-shock-part-confusion as he lays his heart out on the table with a confession you did not see coming at all: “I guess I’ve been in love with you all this time.”

-

Now, see, you have always been Nate’s tomboy best friend. You were the girl who played hockey with him when you were kids and the girl who skateboarded all throughout middle school. You were the girl no guy has ever looked at like that, because you were different from all the pretty blondes and skinny girls and conventionally female specimen that boys would usually like. It didn’t bother you, not until high school anyway, when you finally crushed on some other guy that wasn’t in yours and Nate’s friend group. It was the biggest infatuation of your life so far, and when you realized he’ll never look at you like how he looks at the girls who wear skirts and tank tops, you gave up on even trying to feel.

“Are you seriously looking at skirts?” You remember Nate asking you one time you were both in the mall and he caught you lingering around skirts. You were both sixteen at the time, and he just got back from his morning hockey practice. You looked down on your usual oversized tee and baggy pants and your favorite pair of tattered Vans and thought, yeah, how can you even choose to wear a skirt willingly? It didn’t offend you or anything, his question was purely out of curiosity and not one of judgment. 

You shrugged at him, “Don’t you think it’s about time I dress more girly? I’m turning seventeen soon, and I still haven’t had a boyfriend.” 

“I dunno, you dress fine to me.” Nathan said then, and then it hit you--if Nate says you look fine then other people’s opinion shouldn’t even matter. He was your bestest friend, and you trust him because you have to. You should. But he’s still a guy, and you’re a teenage girl who’s becoming more self-conscious as the days go by because that’s how life goes when you’re sixteen and hormonal. You shrug it off, though, because looking pretty was the least of your concerns anyway.

The following year, you get asked out on a date by one of the guys you went to middle school with. He was decent, and you were consistently talking to him and hanging out the past summer. He made you laugh and he became such a charmer since you last met him when you were pre-pubescent kids. It was your first date ever, and a week before you were highly stressing out on what you should wear, on what you should do, because you were seventeen and had no experience being with someone other than, lo and behold, Nathan. 

He was away from you now, doing his hockey thing and being great, but phone calls were still consistent between the two of you, and after stressing out for two whole hours trying to rummage the internet for Tips On How To Nail Your First Date, you finally give up and whine to him over the phone.

“Him? You’re going on a date with him? Wasn’t he like...a wimpy kid back then or something?” His voice is tired on the other line. His team lost tonight, and you know he’s frustrated about it, but he doesn’t really talk to you about it because he chooses not to. You’re going to change that soon because you know he’s too hard on himself when he loses. He knows you’re there to listen if he wants to whine, but for some reason he never talks about a loss with you anymore. Not like he used to back when you were younger and you still lived near each other. 

“Nathan, be nice.” You rarely call him Nathan because to you he has always been Nate. It means you’re dead serious right now. You mess up your short hair and stare at all the possible clothing options you’ve laid out on your bed. It’s mostly t-shirts, the ones that are close to your actual size, and then you realized you have no jeans that actually fit because all of them are baggy ones.

“Wow, she’s calling me Nathan. Who’s that guy?” He calls from the other line. His speech is turning more slurry, like he’s already falling asleep but trying hard to fight it. “But seriously, why do you need to dress up, anyway? Your clothes are fine.”

“You’re not a girl, you wouldn’t understand.” You tell him in a moment of miniscule irritation--not with him, but with yourself, because it then hits you: you want to impress this guy. You want to appear different for him, because it’s  your first ever date, and finally someone’s looking at you and making you feel pretty--like a girl. “Oh my god…” You croak after spacing out, and you jump a bit when you hear Nate through the speaker phone, forgetting that he’s still on the other line.

“What’s wrong?”

“Holy shit. I just realized I’m finally trying to get in touch with my girly side. Seventeen years too late for that.” You snort at how ridiculous you’re being, at how silly this whole situation is because you’ve never tried to change who you were before attraction came in the way. You realized you were turning into a woman without knowing it, and it’s not really bothersome because you are a woman. It’s just something different from what you’re used to growing up even if you were no stranger to it having an older sister who is undeniably more female than you. Nate didn’t have any problem that you have a vagina but can also beat up any guy who picks on you for being such a tomboy. Nate loved it when you played hockey with him even if he beat you every time. He loved watching you skate, cackles when you fall down, but gets concerned as he should when you get scrapes and bruises. He’s fine with what you are--with the way you dress, the way you project yourself to people, the way you’re not just any other girl. You’re his best friend and he loves you just as you are.

You remember that time at the mall last year when you were looking at those skirts, you remember what he told you back then, and then you remember why it doesn’t matter what you wear on a date. If any other people can’t handle you the way that you are then they don’t really have to matter to you, too.

The date approaches and you give up, thinking if this guy talks to you and even ended up asking you out he should accept you as you are, right? 

You’re wrong, because three dates in all he ever did was subtly criticize everything you did. He was trying to groom you into the girlfriend you can never be for him, and that appalled you so much and hurt you at the same time. You think he’d be one of the few guys who’ll understand that as much as you want to, you can’t really change who you are for someone else.

Nathan was livid. “Fuck that guy. He’s nuts.” He crackles through one of your nightly phone calls. “He’s ugly, he sounds like a rat, and I bet he smells like--”

“Okay, enough.” You chuckle at his frustration despite feeling down the past few days post ‘break-up’. “It’s okay, really, but I’m not that girl for him.”

“You’re not. You’re like leagues cooler than him, anyway.”

“Damn right I am.”

-

In the following years as he started his NHL career in Colorado, and with you moving to New York for your job, you’ve only seen him a handful of times although the Facetimes were still consistent. The time difference was there, and even if your calls only lasted about ten minutes or so as you both caught up with your lives, it was enough. You didn’t need two hours with him on the phone, because yours and Nate’s friendship was as solid as an asteroid crater on land. It could be two years since you’ve last spoken to one another and when you do see each other again it’s like nothing has changed. You’re grateful for it, because with you having a new life in NYC and him making a home out of Denver, he’s still the one piece of Cole Harbour you have anywhere you go. 

You forget about dating as you focus on your job. You love it, and you love living in New York. You’ve made friends that you can already consider as family. You have a great life ahead of you and you know it. You watch Nate’s games when he’s in town. You meet him back home in Canada when you managed to get a week off from work. Life is good and steady. For a while you thought that the happiness you managed to find will last a long time, and it did...until it didn’t. That’s when you realized. 

-

Nate gets a girlfriend. Her name is incredibly girly and she’s fucking beautiful. 

The Facetimes and phone calls were less now, has been for the last couple of months, really, but that did not bother you at all because they were having a fantastic season and you understand his job comes first. 

What hurt you though was how he just dropped the news like a bomb through text. And you two never ever texted. You didn’t even get a scoop that he was seeing someone, never even mentioned anyone when you two manage to sneak in calls in between your busy schedules. It’s on a sad and dull Friday night when you were sulking on your couch because nobody was available to hang out with you to get a drink when the text comes.

‘Guess I have a gf now lol. Her name’s __’ Attached is a picture of her seated across from Nate on what appears to be a restaurant. 

You sit up in alarm, your heart beating a mile per second, followed by a heavy ache in your chest. You don’t know what to feel yet you’re feeling everything all at once--surprise, confusion, anger. The happiness is questionable. You sit there for a whole five minutes staring at the very random text when the text bubble appears on the screen.

‘You know it says when you’ve read my message ryt’

You don’t really know and you don’t really care right now. You want to yell at him and demand details, but you’re really confused as to why he’s texting when he usually just calls you. It was eight in the evening when you decided to sleep away the dull ache in your chest and that heavy heart of yours. You turn your phone on silent as you put it inside the drawer of your bedside table.

The following day you wake up at noon. You instinctively reach for your phone on the bedside table when your hands come up with nothing--and then you remember where you put it the previous night. You didn’t dare check it, though, because the moment you wake up you know the ache is still there. You remember those damn texts, you remember everything you’ve felt as you lie in your bed for hours when your mind and body refuses to shut down.

You skip breakfast because you weren’t really hungry, so you do your laundry instead. It leads to you cleaning your bathroom, and then that leads to cleaning your entire apartment, and when you managed to finish it was almost four in the afternoon. You were too tired to cook, so you munch on cereal. You chug several bottles of water after when you realize you haven’t had any the entire day. You take a quick shower. You switched on Netflix on your flatscreen and you managed to finish two movies. You stare blankly on the rolling credits as you feel your mind shut down. You’ve managed to avoid thinking about Nate and his new girlfriend for the entire day, and now that it’s evening again you feel every damn feeling come back. You finally decide to check on your phone. 

Fifteen messages and ten phone calls all from Nate. Funny how that turned out. You check some more and there were texts and a few calls from your sister and from a few friends from back home. You check that out first, and you were surprised that they all seem to ask you the same damn thing: You okay? Where are you? Nate texted me saying you weren’t answering your phone.

Ten phone calls left unanswered. 

Then you finally get to his messages:

‘Why you leaving me on read?’

‘Heyyyyyy’

‘y/n…..!!!!!!!!!’

‘I’m getting worried wtf’

‘Y u aint answering meeeee’

‘I’ve called five times!!’

‘TEN times!’

‘Are you okay?’

‘Holy shit where the hell are you’

‘Don’t joke with me like this I’m fucking serious answer your phone’

‘Even your sister can’t reach you’

‘What’s happening? Are you at a party and drunk off your ass in some dark alley in nyc?’ 

‘Jesus i don’t even know your friends there i can’t contact anyone to check on you’

‘Just please call me back asap. I’m fucking worried bc you always have your phone with u’

‘Hope you’re okay’ 

It’s kinda funny how he stopped trying, because you haven’t been on your phone the entire day as well and there weren’t any follow up texts or calls this day. You don’t know when the bitterness settled in but now you finally know what you feel and you feel bad that you’re feeling that way. Why are you reacting this badly? You don’t even know, but to calm his dramatic ass down you finally reply to him.

‘Sorry lol im sick i’ve been asleep and weak the whole day’

You jump on the call that lights up your screen immediately and you panic while thinking of ways to sound sick.

“Hey…”

“Jesus fucking christ.” Is how he greets you. “I’ve been worried sick the whole day.” You suppress a snort because you don’t know how true that is. “You okay?”

“Not really…” You try to croak. “Got a raging fever.”

“How long? Maybe you should go to the hospital. Don’t you have someone who can drive you?”

“Unlike you, I don’t have someone.” Is what slips out of your mouth before you can even think about it. You gasp at your own display of bitterness because that sounded harsher than you intended. You know he means well, and of course you know that he knows you have many friends in the city. He wasn’t specifically pointing out a boyfriend, but you sure are making things big. Stupid fucking bitterness. Stupid fucking jealousy. You tried to deny it, but when you’re close to crying over your best friend getting a girlfriend that he apparently hid from you, then you know what it really is after all. 

His silence is deafening and it’s the first time you’ve ever felt awkward with him and you’re not even together in the same damn place.

As the silence stretches on, you hear a voice in the background call out. “Nate? You coming to bed?”

And you beat him before he can voice out a reply to her, or to you. “I’m fine. I can take care of myself. You should go, I’m hanging up. Catch ya later.”

You don’t ‘catch up’ with him, not for another three days, and even then it’s still through text. Your last phone call had been two weeks prior to his girlfriend revelation. You tell him you’ve recovered from your (fake) fever and that you’ve been busy with work you missed. He tells you about his schedules and games and the new guy who’s recently traded to the Avs. There wasn’t another phone call for weeks to come and it’s weird not hearing his voice for more than a month. 

You’ve finally managed to put your jealousy aside as you try to ignore that, yes, you’re probably in love with Nate without you even knowing. Over the weeks that passed you’ve come to a very, very annoying realization that the reason why you don’t and can’t date is because no one will even compare to Nate. You’ve managed to put him on a pedestal when you really shouldn’t have but it’s hard when he’s the best guy you’ve ever known. He’s the only guy who understands you and knows you inside out. He has no judgement for who you are. He was the one you shared your entire life with and no one of the opposite gender will probably solidify himself on you as Nate did. You think life has been okay because it’s you and him against the world even if you’ve been long distance for a long time now. Him not telling you about this girl from the beginning really, really hurt you more than it should, but you will come to realize it’s the wake-up call you badly needed.

You’re fucking in love with Nathan MacKinnon and that scares you.

[madmadmilk]

One After The One PART 2 | Tom Holland x Reader

Tinder BIO | soft TEASER | PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | >>

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: If a fool knows they’re a fool, are they really a fool? (The answer is yes.) You weigh the pros and cons of meeting T, Blurry Boy, Tom-Holland-Imposter, but curiosity tips the scales.

Warnings: Cursing, Suspicion, some Hard to Swallow Pills, and a million blurry pics

Word Count: 6K grains of sand in your boots

-

“... What?”

You throat ran dry, and you’d be lying if several things didn’t just suddenly click in your mind. The pictures, or lack of pictures. “T.” His bio. It makes all makes total sense, and then it totally doesn’t.

 None of that it made it any easier to believe the words coming out of her mouth.

“I… I think he’s using pictures of Tom Holland,” your friend exhales, repeating herself slowly.

…

This can’t be happening. You feel your brows furrow and face fall–– unsure of what to say or how to feel.

Tom Holland on Tinder? 

No fucking way.

“... Who..? How..?” you reach up to scratch your eyebrow, hoping to stir up something to deflect her suggestions.

“You know, Spider-Man? We just watched him in that movie?” Liza starts slowly, then pretends to shoot webs, nearly bumping into her drink. “Thwip-thwip, yeah?”

You begin frown and shake your head, you wave away her hands.

“Yeah, uhm, yeah I know who he is. But there’s no way that’s––“

She gives you a knowing and cautious looking, tilting her head towards you in question. Her lower lip juts out and she pulls out her phone. You can assume she’s looking up pictures of the actor, and soon enough she has some glamour shot of him in a maroon suit.

He had glasses on. The same ones in that goddamn picture he had sent the other day.

That’s not...

You hold your phone search through your chats, scrolling past conversations and laughs, looking for that one picture. Your heads rest together as you swipe up slowly to show her the picture of him that he had sent… the one with the glasses.

There’s no way––

 But you don’t say anything, solely waiting for her confirmation or denial.

“Friendly neighborhood romantic…” Liza mutters softly as she holds both phones closer to herself. “Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man…”

You take it from her and zoom in; sure enough, all those details fall into place.

Fuck.

You blink, comparing the smiles. They look identical.

But?

But Tom Holland is a A-list actor, smiley, pretty, bright and out of reach. You can’t even entertain the idea of meeting a ~celebrity~ through a shitty fucking dating app–– a hook-up one at that. It just doesn’t happen.

And the thought of him wanting to spend time with you?

“No… that’s not right,” you finally manage to say. “Uhm. It can’t be Tom.”

Upon saying that out loud, you catch yourself. You find yourself believing that it could have been him. So, it’s hard to say which part you were denying.

Liza does the critical thinking for you.

“I’m sorry, babe. This guy is lying to you.”

Liza looks at you with her big brown eyes, and you can see a little bit of pity. She nods slowly and turns away, leaving you with two phones in your hands and doubt in your heart. 

“He’s using Tom Holland’s pictures, he’s not telling you the truth, and he’s not… offering you anything else about himself. You know?”

What?

You had gotten so comfortable with the idea of him, of “T.” Of “Blurry Boy,” his own person... and not with the reality of who he could be and what he’s doing to you.

The reality that he’s still really fucking suspicious, a stranger whose life and intentions you don’t actually know.

He’s definitely not Tom Holland, regretfully, and he’s probably not like any of the pictures he’s posted–– blurry, edited, whatever. And the conversations? Maybe it’s all a persona.

You don’t know a single thing about him.

Oh…

It stings more than you thought it would, even when you knew this was already a shaky start.

Liza watches you press your tongue to the side of your cheek, processing this with no argument or fight left. She feels bad having told you outright, but you both know that it’s what you would have wanted. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

She hugs your shoulders, as you slide her phone back towards her.

You let her hold you as you try to let the shame and shock pass.

Your phone pings softly on the table.

You read the message as it glows on your screen. You scoff as soon as you check it, because who else could it be?

BB: I bet you forgot to watch the episode lol

No.

You forgot you shouldn’t trust him.

-

…

BB: ?

BB: Hello?

BB: Hey, sorry idk if you’re busy or something right now. Just wondering how you were

BB: 👀

BB: Sorry, did I do something to make you mad?

Yes–– no. Yeah, kinda.

You pull down your phone screen, musing over the fact that more messages might appear. He’s sent something new every few hours since your talk with Liza earlier that day.

God, you’re glad you don’t have your read receipts on.

You spend some time lazing around in bed, hair up and out of your face, your pants crumpled and kicked on the floor nearby. You suck in your cheeks as you pick up your phone.

You’ve been cycling through social media all day–– not looking at anything in particular, but definitely avoiding texts from You Know Who.

You know what the messages say, you know that he’s wondering where you are and what you’re doing, but how do you face him after your fatal revelation with Liza? How do you recover? Well, you start by sorting out your buzzing thoughts….

First, you feel fucking embarrassed. There’s a burning, nauseous heat on your face, all because you didn’t realize those pictures were SO obviously fake, and that you were kinda into Whoever He Is.

Second, you feel righteous anger, for being dragged around even though he promised. Ha ha ha. He’s one hundred percent a stranger on the internet, alright. And you’re a fool for letting yourself get strung along.

But him using pictures of a well-known, well-loved, heavily-adored celebrity?? Isn’t that, like, really fucking bold? Embarrassing even?

(Almost as embarrassing as you not noticing this, but you don’t let yourself dwell on that part for too long)

The angel on your shoulder reasons that, “maybe he’s still the same person underneath this facade–– he just looks nothing like what he has posted. You could still like him no matter what he looked like, right?”

While the devil swoops in with some hard facts, laughing in pity, “A guy or person who conceals themselves with lies is not worth keeping at all.”

And in this case, you have to agree with that flaming hot truth. You’re ready to fold those fleeting feelings, shove them in a box, and kick ‘em to the curb along with that inner monologue–– but as you said in the very beginning… if you knew you were being fooled from the start, are you really getting hurt?

The goblin of curiosity pulls at your sleeve and offers this funny sentiment, “Knowing this and talking to him should be fine if you establish the fact that you know that ‘this’ isn’t real.”

And that’s where you are now, staring at your phone, at the multitude of double, triple, quadruple texts that have accumulated through the day. You exhale, and draft up a frail response.

You: hey, sorry. I was busy

His answer comes almost too soon even while you were approaching the later hours of a long day.

BB: Hey!, no, no it’s okay. Sorry if i freaked out, I was just worried

You: what, you missed me?

BB: something like that. You’re definitely the best reason I’m checking my phone nowadays, besides work

You: how sweet

BB: actually, I took your advice. I turned on Do Not Disturb at like 9. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders

You: that’s great!

BB: well, I know there’s going to be a shit ton to read in the morning, and I’m still stressed about that. But I guess I’ll get used to it. Gotta save time for myself! 😤🙏(praying emoji)

You: definitely

…

BB: hey, are you okay? You seem distant

You: yeah, no. I’m fine. Just a little tired

…

BB: haha, you’re obviously not. Are you still out? Or back home now?

You: I’m back home, but it’s been a long day

BB: oh, okay! You should head to bed then. Talk to you later?

You: yeah, I guess I should

BB: good night! Sleep tight 😊 (blush smile emoji)

You: good night

-

The next day goes by with a few more one-sided text exchanges. “Blurry Boy” was really single-handedly carrying each of those conversations–– and while they’re interesting and you’re still replying, you find it hard to bring yourself to believe any of it. It has no real weight anymore, to your life or in application.

You can’t stop thinking about the fact that he’s LYING to you. Straight to your fucking face.

You watch the conversations in the third person and are almost impressed with the lengths that he goes to keep up with the same story. No loss of momentum, the perfect amount of enthusiasm.

But by now, he must suspect something. The way he asks leading questions in an effort to get you to speak more. 

Unfortunately for him, you can’t help but be cold in response.

What you don’t realize, is that you want him to ask you what was wrong, one more time. You don’t realize that you want an opportunity to be mad. You want him to give you the chance to be. 

So, stop being so fucking nice, blurry boy.

Because you’re not fucking nice at all.

You ignore him for the evening, going out to run some errands so that your hands were actually busy. You silenced your phone as you wound down again for the night, only sparing it a glance at the last second.

There are a few messages waiting for you.

BB: hey, are we okay?

You: we?

BB: yeah, sorry if i’m jumping to conclusions but I’ve felt a little special here. If not, I get it. I’d just like to know

You: you’re definitely something

BB: what’s wrong?

You take a sharp inhale, tucking your hair behind your ears, and sitting up in bed to fully type out your feelings. Your opportunity to be angry is HERE, you can go off and spit words and fight–– 

You: you’re lying to me, right to my face. It was fine at first, but I still can’t wrap my head around why you’re doing this to me. It feels like we’re playing pretend and just ignoring the fact that there is NO TRUST here at all. I don’t know WHO you are and you haven’t given me any idea of who you could be! You’re using fake pictures and a fake name, and while it’s been fun… there’s nothing here. There’s nowhere “we” could go from here. If you want to continue, I’m going to need SOMETHING from you, if you expect anything from me

You drop your phone in your lap with a satisfying thump. You turn away, stretching and rolling your shoulders back in triumph.

Take that, “T.”

You shut your eyes as you imagine this mystery dude opening his phone to read out an arrow you’re shooting straight at this heart. (And it’s not the good kind). You can’t ignore that it hurts your own feelings it’s a little, not in a way that’s personal but…it’s hollowing. You didn’t know him personally, no, not at all, but a shade of it must have been real. There’s a real person in there, somewhere.

You see the message sit alone, untouched. There’s no bouncing dots like usual, no rapid silly response or praise or affection. And that’s annoying. And that’s annoying that that’s annoying.

But you got the last word in, so, what else can you ask for.

You nudge your phone further away, trying not to expect more. Siting in silence for a beat, pinching your cheeks. God, you hate this self-absorbed, attention-seeking behavior–– but you can’t help it.

You let out an exasperated whine, shaking your body to let go of the lingering vibes. You pick up your phone and snuggle back down into bed, ready to sleep after some idle scrolling. 

You’re ready to not have to worry about this thrilling 5-day experience, sure to be embarrassed about it later but… maybe you can make a story out of it. Though, that would only come after a long wink and the accompaniment of alcohol. God, you don’t even want to think about how Liza has probably already told K… Ugh!

PING!

You scramble as you hear the shrill bell tone. Your phone is bouncing in your hands as you half sit-up again. 

A message. 

You want to ignore it–– but who are you kidding.

BB: can i call you?

…

You stare at it. 

Is this an olive branch? Is he reaching out to you to show you that he really wants this? That he cares enough to finally share a fucking piece of himself?

Regardless, the call can only prove that he’s not the guy in the pictures. It’ll only show you that he’s just a guy. If that.

You rake your mind to remember what Tom Holland’s speaking voice sounded like, and immediately kick yourself for even thinking it could actually fucking be him. There’s just no fucking way. 

But let’s see how far off this guy is.

You: only for a second.

Your heart thuds unevenly as you prepare yourself–– only you have no idea what to expect. There’s nothing to go off of.

And within the minute that you sent your message, your phone rings. A blank contact comes up, “Blurry Boy” in white letters. You listen to the shrill ringtone, only picking up before it ends.

“Hey.”

There it is, his voice for the first time. It’s sleepy and thick, croaky even. He doesn’t sound like the squeaky and lively Tom Holland you knew from the silver screen. Though, it’s a stretch to even compare the two at all.

“Hey,” you speak demurely. Cool, calm, collected. And you wait. You want him to bring it up himself.

“What, not excited about our first call?”

Your face warms at his straightforwardness–– briefly crumbling under the pressure. Over text you could easily sort yourself out, but here…. you couldn’t hesitate.

“Well, I’m just glad you don’t sound like a 16 year-old boy.”

He laughs breezily, slightly muffled through the phone.

“Hahaha, I told you. I’m 23.”

“Mhm, well the way your voice cracked there really proves it.”

“Hey, come on now.” He laughs again, and you can hear rustling sheets and the faint chatter of music.

His laugh is quite pleasant, raspy and boyish. Familiar even. You want to imagine that he’s wooed by your maturity and confidence, by the way that a lull settles. But it’s more likely that he’s gathering his thoughts, or collecting his courage.

“This…. doesn’t prove anything,” you start slowly. You purse your lips, nervous ticks coming alive even through the phone.

For the moment, you feel shy, but shove it when you remember that he’s lying.

“I still don’t know who you are––“

“I know. I know, and I’m sorry–– I can’t tell you yet, but I trust you.”

“Yeah, you’ve said something like that before.”

”Uhm, yeah–– I… I wanted to call you to show you that I’m real and I care about you.... and I wanted to hear your voice too.”

There was sincerity there, but you don’t let yourself fall for it.

“But how long will it be before I get to see your real face? –– Without meeting you in a dark alley all alone.”

“Hm?”

“My friends are convinced that … you’re lying to me. In more ways that one. With the profile, with the pictures, the name.”

“Oh–– you told you friends–– uhm... Do you think I’m lying?”

“Maybe not all of it, but It’s a big world out there. And–– I don’t know.”

“But seeing my face would clear it up for you?”

He breathes deeply, and you can hear him clear his throat. The sheets rustle again.

“It’d be a start.”

“Mhm.”

“Make or break it, actually,” you manage to chuckle, offering him that relief. You wonder if physical attraction would be a big factor— like obviously, it would be something but…. you’ve come to know him as a person. So, do you care?

(The answer is yes, you do care, but poetically, you could enjoy his company just like this.)

BUT he is lying; if it’s not about one thing, it’s the other.

“It would definitely make me feeling a little bit better. To know that you’re not a monster under the bed, or some creep–– arguable but still.”

“I told you, I’m hot. You’ve got nothing to worry about,” he laughs with a bit of edge, treading the line.

You laugh too, tension easing. He seems like an easygoing guy, willing to be the butt of a joke with confidence.

“That has a totally different effect, hearing you say that out loud. It’s still weird.”

“Well, what do you think I look like? Based off–– based off what you have.”

“Well, I hardly have anything so…. I don’t know. I want to say ‘tall, dark, and handsome,’ but I’m pretty sure you have… fair skin, brown hair and… nice shoulders? That’s all I got.”

“You’re 3 for 3 so far.”

“You’re just saying that.”

Pause.

“Sorry it’s taking so long.”

“Yeah, you’re weird.”

You’ve already flipped the a million possibilities of who he could be. Nothing would even surprise you anymore. But listening to his soothing voice has calmed you like the way his words always have. The conversation flows over you, and you slide deep into your bed.

You pull the covers up over your shoulders, swimming in your thoughts. It shouldn’t be that hard to reveal himself, should it? You’re both investing time into this–– reckless and blind as it may be. You would need to know eventually. You’re not being unreasonable.

Right?

“If…. If I show you my face, properly, will you keep it a secret?” There’s an anxious tone in his light voice. Every syllable ended with uncertainty, as if he didn’t believe what he was saying.

“If you want…? Why?”

“I just… you just need to. Please?”

“Yeah, uhm, I can do that.”

“Thank you,” and there he lets out an airy sigh of relief. You hear rustling again, as if he fell back on the bed. Ha?

You laugh in excitement at his small promise, you rub your eye with your knuckle as you tease,

“What, are you a celebrity or something?”

…

“How did you know?”

“Hahaha, shut uppp, T. I’m joking–– I just want to match a proper face to the person I’m talking to,” your laugh trails off. You swallow softly, “I have your voice now, so… help me piece it together now, please?”

He stays silent, making you second guess the sincerity that you just showed him. Before you can take it back he starts slow and quiet,

“If I do tell you who I am, would you go on a date with me?”

Your heart squeezes, and your clench your toes. This should be no surprise or celebration, to be honest, this is the point of it all. To find love, or at least the next lay.

“Well, that depends if you’re my type,” coy, coy, play it coy.

“I’m everybody’s type.” His voice rolls, deep, rough, ringing in your ears.

You blink, your cheek lifting in a half pointed smile. You return his tone,

“Ok, well, then I dare you. Show me.”

“I will. Are you free on Friday–– Tomorrow?”

“Already setting up a date? You’re getting waaaay ahead of yourself, dude.”

Pause.

“But yeah, sure, I might be free tomorrow.”

“Great,” he laughs at your switching moods. You feel that heat on your face again, shutting your eyes tight, and he offers a bit more, 

“Meet me by the beach? 9 PM?”

You scoff softly, he’s pushing it. It’s a public space, kind of not. It’ll be cool, breezy, dark… secluded.

But you could easily let someone know where you’re gonna be, and when to expect you back. Fair enough?

“Hmmm, send me a picture of yourself and I’ll let you know if I can make it.”

“Huh?”

“Think of it as insurance. Or a sneak peak,” you laugh softly, turning your cheek to rub you nose against your pillow.

He lets out a long, dry chuckle, taking a deep breath. You can hear him settle and stretch himself out too, “First thing in the morning. And text me back.”

“Sure!”

“Then... I’ll leave you to it. Good night, Y/N. So lovely speaking to you.” His voice is so heavy and warm, so close to your ear.

You’re almost disappointed that he cut the conversation short. A dark cloud of doubt looms over; maybe he needs time to fabricate a believable photo, maybe he’s nervous, maybe he’s getting cold feet.

You stumble on on what to say as you snap yourself back–– the worrying could be saved for tomorrow. For now, you’ll both savor this short, sweet moment. 

“Likewise. Good night, Blurry Boy.” 

You hear him exhale softly, and pull the phone away from your ear. You look at it in your hands, feeling your lips purse. Your face is flushed hot, and your stomach flips in anticipation.

Tomorrow.

-

“No FUCKING way,”

You open your phone first thing in the morning and... low and behold… he actually fucking sent you a picture of Tom Holland. Like he really had the guts to fucking do it. 

Come on, Blurry Boy.

This is not real. No way, no way, no fucking WAY.

You heart falls at the thought of losing this ~friendship~ or whatever it is. You put time into this and now its… kind of falling apart at the seams.

You hold your squished cheeks and spin on your heel, wondering if you should show it to Liza or Ry–– to share the incredulous feelings but… You remember The Promise.

It’s not that… big of a deal, especially since this scenario is fake as fuck, but you’d feel guilty. (damn.)

And also ashamed.

You straight up got fucking catfished.

Like he really had you in the snares.

There’s no way that he’s Tom Holland, and even if he “was” there’s no way that Tom would be in your city. And even though he’s a fucking liar–– keeping this a secret for another day or two… wouldn’t hurt anyone.

God.

You fall back onto your couch, legs hanging over the edge as you stare at the picture. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard, wondering what to say…

The words come quick.

You: what the fuck, are you joking?

Come on, he had to be pulling your leg. Or expecting you to reply like that. You dont’ know what to think, especially when it takes him an hour or two to reply. Uncharacteristic of him.

BB: I’m really not

You: dude. Shut up. You’re not Tom Holland

BB: I am. And I can prove it. Come see me tonight, please

You have to scoff, nearly throwing your phone across the room. UHM, this has sirens and red flags written all over it. Akskdfdjhfad, like??? There aren’t even words to describe this frustration and obvious deceit.

You: Uhm, no no no. Call me right now

You were more than peeved now, honestly. He promised you honesty and some vulnerability, and this is just fucking stupid.

BB: I’m sorry, I really can’t. I’m out for work right now. Meetings all day. But I PROMISE you that I’m not lying.

Ok, funny. That’s exactly what a liar would say.

You don’t bother replying back, not sure what to even say besides, “Fuck you.” But you figure that silence might be more of a sting than any words you could conjure up.

How many tricks would you fall for? This is stupid, this isn’t fair. There’s nothing to redeem here, it’s over.

He can’t just drop a tremendous bombshell, and act like it’s real??

Who the fuck does he think he is?

There’s no way he’s fucking Spider-Man, dude.

There’s just no fucking way.

-

FRIDAY NIGHT, AROUND 6 PM

BB: So… what do you think? Will I see you later? 🤞 (fingers crossed emoji)

You: I can’t believe you’re still messaging me and making jokes. This is cruel, dude

BB: I know it seems crazy, but I’m not lying. I can explain everything! But in person would be the easiest way. I’m still running around the city, but meet me at 9

You: bullshit

BB: My name is Tom Holland. I’m taking a break in this city, and I’m looking for someone to spend time with. But I HAVE to lie low. And trust you and I want to see you and I want to spend time with you

You: You know this is fucking insanity right ?? I can’t trust you. 

BB: I know, I’m sorry. But I’ll answer anything you want if you come see me

You: i don’t know

BB: well, will i see you later tonight?

…

BB: let me know if you can make it. I’ll be there regardless but…

…

BB: Hope you see you there, Y/N.

You put your phone down squinting. You’re down for taking risks and meeting new people and trying new things–– but this whole thing is just wrong. This is too unreal to even entertain. No matter how many times you say it… It won’t sink in.

He says he can’t call, he can’t send anymore pictures, he can’t facetime–– what’s with the grand reveal and security clearance? 

He’s probably gonna eat your fucking face off, that’s why.

You look back at your feet, covered in fuzzy socks. Would you even get out of this blanket burrito to meet A Guy?

(Much less, a guy who definitely wants to wear your skin.)

It’s after classes and work and your social life, you don’t have anything planned for today. Your friends are off on dates with one another doing god knows what, and you’re at home comfy in your holey sweatpants with nothing but the warmth of your laptop and chatter of a TV show you haven’t been paying attention to.

Sigh.

There’s nothing to lose–– you chant over and over. Sometimes, that mentality is what gets you to move forward and try new things. Or gets you into trouble.

Haha.

We all know you’re going to get off your ass and go, but not before checking in with a few people. ‘Cos, you’re not entirely stupid.

“Time for a Tea Party,” you mumble to yourself. You resign to text the more rational of your friends, Liza and Ry. 

Liza has the perfect amount of encouragement and honesty, while Ryan has the best common sense and gives expert.

Sorry, K, you’re too protective and sorry, Sam, you’re way to fucking chaotic.

GC: TEA PARTY

Liza: Ur actually going to MEET HIM??? 😱

Ry: you said you weren’t going to get into trouble

You: is he trouble?? Is this bad??

Ry: YES. he could be anyone. Do you even know what he looks like?

You: … not really. He hasn’t told me much about anything. But, this is like a chance to find out?

Liza: oh my god you should go. Just go and get it over with

Ry: I don’t know… this doesn’t sound like a great idea.

Liza: i guess, one of us could come with Y/N?

You: nah, I’ll be fine alone

Ry: you sure? We could hang out somewhere in the back or something

You: no, it’s okay. I’ll just let you now when I go and drop my location with you

Liza: Phew! This is going to be SO messy. I love it. Can’t wait to hear back from you.

Liza: If we hear back from you 👀 (side eye emoji)

You: Ha ha, this is my actual life you know??

Ry: you only live once

Liza: And pls live long enough to tell your friends what happens

You: so supportive

Liza: love you! Wear your cute undies just in case!

Ry: bring pepper spray

You: Got it

You’re thrown into a frenzy. It’s like 7:45 PM now, and you haven’t showered yet, you haven’t decided what you’re going to wear or how you’re going to get there–– and more importantly, you haven’t fucking texted him back yet. 

And he hasn’t sent you anything else.

Oh, the mind games.

The way he’s making himself sad and vulnerable, but mysterious and coy.

While you get to choose to be the sucker, or the loser.

Lose, lose with great odds.

You turn on the shower, stepping into the warm steam to clear your mind.

It was made after all, you were going to meet him.

-

Yeah, you were going. But you still haven’t said anything. 

You don’t want him to know–– so you could totally just walk the other way if you see something that you don’t like. 

I mean, he knew what you looked like though. Hell, he even compared you to his ex-girlfriend, so… might as well keep the upper-hand and peer from the shadows first.

Or give yourself a head start to run away.

Though, running through sand would definitely be a big fucking obstacle.

You reach the end of the beach, standing atop beaten wooden stairs. The breeze stings your cheek, and it’s a lot colder than you thought it would be.

You’re wearing some dark high-waisted jeans and a simple pair of slip-on sneakers. You didn’t exactly know what “this” was, a date or a revelation or a sacrifice, so, naturally, you didn’t know what to wear.

Haha.

You hug yourself, your thin white billowy top fluttering lightly in the wind. Your fingers clutch at the flowery-embroidered designs on the sleeves, looking a lot like a pure maiden in distress. (Cos you sure as hell are.) You wore light makeup, and your hair was still a bit damp. The salty air was turning it coarse and wavy–– no complaints about that.

You paired this all with the bravest face you could muster

T, Blurry Boy, Tom Holland Imposter dropped this location with you, and figures that it’s on a secluded section of the beach.

You follow well-trodden paths, softly listening to music as you make your way. One earbud in. You should be thinking about a million things right now, but your mind is totally blank.

No expectations, nothing to go off of. 

As you near your destination, you look out at the water. The ocean is dark and looming; you can hear her soft waves crash over your soft music. The moon casts a silvery glow, and you can’t see colors anymore. Just white, gray, and black. Shining and still. 

It feels calm, like you’re watching a silent movie. Like you’re alone.

Only you’re not.

You see “him.”

A lone shape kicking sand with hands in their pockets. Their hood was up and back facing you. 

Great.

You hang back in the distance, weighing your options. You could still leave–– fear fully settling in after you see an actual person where they said they would be. He seems… harmless enough, like a regular guy and–– ah, fuck.

He turns around.

You see him, seeing you.

He pauses, then leans forward to get a better look.

You freeze too, holding your breath.

There’s nowhere left to duck and hide. It’s just you and some piles of fucking sand.

And him.

Oh, god.

The figure raises their hand, fucking waving. Then they start moving towards you, picking their feet up high to trek over the sand.

Fucking hell, you could turn away now but you don’t. You let out a shrill, grating laugh and square up to meet him halfway.

Their shape isn’t getting any clearer–– especially now that they’re facing away from the moon. His face is shadowed and hard to see, but you get close enough to see him.

I––

“Hey!” he excited calls out, catching the shine of his smile…. And…. you’re speechless.

Jaw to the floor, eyes as wide as dinner plates, speechless.

He keeps talking, smiling with his eyes crinkled as he gets very very close to you. You could smell his musky cologne, mixed with ocean spray, and disbelief. His voice is low and coated with tired happiness,

“Oh my god, I’m so glad you came.”

His voice breaks at the end, broken in more ways that you can understand at this moment. You’re just so confused––??

He can’t stop grinning, eyebrows sloping downward as he lets out an airy sigh of relief. He looks up towards the sky for a moment, moonlight catching on his cheeks and nose. Glimmering.

Wait, wait, wait––

When he comes back, he does another thing you can barely wrap you head around–– he hugs you.

He reaches forward, giving you ample time to turn away (but you don’t), and hugs over your shoulders. You felt a human weight on you, the side of his hoodie smushing against your face. 

And… you slowly hug back around his waist. Your left hand awkwardly pats his back as he mumbles,

“Sorry, this is too much. Sorry, God. Thank you.” 

He doesn’t make any motion of moving away despite his words. You can feel his warmth, and slightly desperation in the embrace; something that feels a lot more intimate than you were prepared for.

“Thank you.”

“It… It’s okay,” you murmur back, doused in shock. And shock is better than terror, right?

You pull away, squinting your eyes and making a face. His hands fall off your shoulders, and quickly shove themselves into his pockets. He gives you a moment. A well needed moment. When you open yourself back up, your brain is able to process a few more things.

He’s standing there in some dark denim jeans, clad in converses, which seems like a horrible decision for the beach, a dark green hoodie pulled up over his head, another horrible decision when you’re meeting someone for the first time on a dark beach, and a denim jacket, enviable. His face is softened and friendly, lips pointed in a gracious smile, while his dark eyes twinkle even in the shade.

He senses your uncertainty as you eyes fan over his face. Your jaw was still hanging open too. He pulls his hood down, ruffling soft brown hair in an inadvertent dramatic reveal. Nice.

He scratches behind his ear, still wearing a gleeful expression,

“So… what do you think?”

What do you think???? What do you think about this situation?? His hair??? The entire man in front of you???

Or the fucking fact that he was who he SAID he was???

I can’t believe this is–– this is––

All manners and social cues and sense exit the building as you stammer brainlessly,

“You’re! You’re–– You’re Tom––”

He nods, confidently, you note. And tilts his head, locks falling over,

“I am.”

“You are.” You breath out, maybe smiling now, you’re not sure. You can’t exactly feel your face anymore. 

Your head tilts in the same direction as his, your hair falling over your collar. His eyes follow those fallen strands, before locking back with yours,

“I’m Tom Holland. ‘I told you so,’ and it’s nice to formally meet you.”

Tom Holland.

The brunette bites his lip before smiling neatly as he gets close to your again. No personal space with this guy. He sticks a hand out for you to shake.

You’re looking from the outside in as you take his hand, bobbing softly. You’re trained on the sight of his thumb holding the side of your hand, rubbing softly.

You find your way back to his face.

Exactly like the movies.

The wind blows and he turns to the side, showing you the sharp cut of his jaw, and his eye-shut-tight expression.

Better, actually.

“H… Hey, Tom. Nice to meet you too,” you finally fumble. You shake your head slightly, trying to regain that calm, collected, confidence you practiced so hard on the way here. You want to say more, but you can’t fathom what would come next, 

“Uhm, sorry, I’m… still processing.”

Tom nods, bobbing his whole body, as he takes a step forward. His smile points devilishly, way too easily. His eyebrows twitch before settling, as he lowers his head, hitting you with some sultry jaw-clenching and puppy dog eyes.

“Take your time.”

You laugh, tonguing your cheek. He does too, and you share a starry stare.

The waves crash in the distance, a white noise you were glad to have. A welcome distraction from your loudly beating heart. Something to close the gap of silence––

Only Tom couldn’t handle the lapse of quiet, after all, he gets paid $$$ by the minute. He starts conversationally, knowing exactly how to stir up your already swirling emotions.

Light, teasing, reeling you in, the brilliant boy flashes you a toothy grin and spares not a single ounce of chill,

“So… am I your type?”

Holy fucking fuck shit god damn.

You just got catfished by Tom Holland.

-

A/N: WELL, reader has been caught in the net. What do you think, is “Tom Holland” /our/ type? Adfasjdl, the whole concept of this is so funny lol. Can u imagine seeing the man you saw movies screens… waiting for you in person??? Unfathomable. Anyway, sorry the past two chapters have just been build up,, there’s gonna be a lot of mushy stuff coming up soon. Thanks for your patience!

It’s really hard to find time to write, but yeah taking smaller chunks like this makes it easier for me. Expect updates every 1-2 weeks, usually around Sat-Mon nights. Thanks so much for keeping up!

And you know what to do, please like and comment and reblog! It keeps me going :)

All my love,

Madmadmilk 🥰

** i do NOT keep up with a taglist. track #one after the one to keep up with the updates, or check out my masterlist! thanks!

[musicallisto]

very random question but i’m curious, how old were you when you started this account? (only answer if you’re comfortable!)

i’m kind of young and your blog is a safe space for me... i’m looking for advice for starting a blog or just some reassurance that i don’t need to be older and more experienced to start something... idk 🥲

hi sweetie! first of all, the idea that my blog is your safe place 🥺🥺

to answer your question, I was 15 when I created my blog, over three years ago. that’s very young compared to the majority of users, but I have a lot of mutuals under 16, so age is not at all a deal-breaker for making friends and having a great tumblr experience! You don’t need to be “more experienced” or “wiser” to blog about the things you love, interact with people, share your writings, or whatever it is you want to do on here. If you want to, go for it! I promise the vast majority will be nothing but supportive - except those who try to win an argument by bringing up your age, lol.

I just think it’s important that you curate your own space and be cautious about your online experience. I’ve been on “actual” social media since I was 13 and I have... mixed feelings about that. I didn’t have anything really negative happen to me on here, but I’ve had/known other weird situations, and this site in particular can get very draining very fast. I had to take several breaks for my mental health because I was going Thru Things(tm) and tumblr made it incredibly worse. And even as an eighteen-year-old (which is still very young, I realize that) I still make some unsavory encounters. All I’m saying is something you probably know already and are tired of hearing, but - as a teen and even a young adult on the Internet, you’re pretty vulnerable and impressionnable, even if you think you are really mature for your age. So just set your boundaries and don’t let anyone cross them. Share only what you want to share (I know it’s “common” to be on first name basis with people around here, but if you don’t want to you are absolutely not required, and I wouldn’t even advise it tbh), unfollow anyone you want to unfollow, block anyone who makes you uncomfortable. This obviously applies to everyone on tumblr, but from my own experience as a teen on here, you quickly get the feeling that your blog is your bedroom and you’re throwing a giant sleepover with your friends, and that you can (or worse, must) tell everyone everything. That’s not true. You’re still on the Internet talking to, admittedly, strangers, and posting stuff that never truly disappears.

I don’t want to give you the Stranger Danger talk - I’ve had it every day of my life for years so it’s a reflex now lol - I just want you to be careful of what you do and what you come in contact with on the Internet, especially if you’re young! The tumblr experience is marvelous and the people you meet on here are genuinely the loveliest - you’ll make tons of friends in no time, I’m sure of it! This is tumblr, after all, everyone is more or less experiencing, testing the waters. So go for it if you want to! I’d happily give you a follow. 💜

[flying-elliska]

i didnt rly get time to tell you this after reading chapter 8 last week but ohmygod ellie. you manage to outdo yourself every fucking time im always so blown away by your talent

god i dont even think i can reread it because seeing love portrayed the way you just did makes me cry so bad lmao (the same way i cant reread lucas' pov from diamants with all the sacrifices he made for eli)

it's always so beautiful seeing them nourish each other's souls with the love and warmth they share, and how they treat each other's feelings so delicately (lucas still not admitting to eliott about how his taste buds absolutely dont agree with eliott's and instead seeking out cuisines that'll cater to eli's tastes 🥺 also you have the best date ideas ahhh your mind)

the poetry absolutely broke me tho i teared up so bad sksks youre sickeningly romantic and it hURTS 😭😭 that scene is def in my top 5 romance literatures fr

goddd i love how all versions of Elu in your fics have different love languages and their love is still idk insurmountable(?) like they'll gladly give up everything for each other and still have so much love to give (sorry im a mESS just thinking about it)

also that cliffhanger was so satisfying thank you so much for not letting us experience their heartbreak over separating im so so glad he had the epiphany of this possibility before it was too late ahhhh IM SO HAPPY THEYRE OKAY. yk me being me and generally expecting bad outcomes to get through life, I thought eliott would be snatched away and they'd lose a few years and be reunited later somehow but ofc the pain of loss cant be undone (cause when does life ever work in your favor lol) but im so fucking glad you didn't let that happen omg

sksjsj sorry for this rambling i just wanted you to know what an absolute blessing you are to everyone who gets to read your work (honestly i even recommended this to my friend and would gladly do so to anyone cause i feel bad for whoever hasn't gotten to experience your writing it really is an indulgence 😭 and how you manage to churn out such incredible work in just dAYS?!? is beyond me fr)

also i cant help but envy ppl who have you in their lives cause like omggg this lovely and brilliant person exists amongst you !!! no but rly, this isnt just about your ideas or eloquence, i really love your tumblr (and it feels like a glimpse into your personality) and how well-rounded it is in terms of politics, activism, aesthetic, humour, lol i could go on and on.

thank you so so much for all the efforts you put into your beautiful work and posting your chaps in time (i dont get how you could think we wouldn't follow this fic past winter cause it's literally impossible to abandon your fics in between)

i hope you're doing well and hope you always remember that you're very well-loved by all of us ❤️❤️❤️

🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ok im just gonna leave sksjd

what a sweet ask anon ^^ haha it also embarassed me a little, but in a good way ^^

the thing about the love languages is very true. i love that they’re so attentive to each other in canon, that being honest with each other is not always easy but even though they struggle, they keep trying to pay attention and to open up. I think this is so important because in romantic stories there is often the first rush of attraction, the crush, where you get an intuition of who this person is and why they would fit well with you, but if you never go beyond that, it feels like a very shallow story.

I love that with Elu there is this attraction at first sight that feels very romantic and ‘meant to be’ but the story doesn’t equate that with them immediately being completely easy or familiar with each other, they’re still strangers that have to get to know each other. and i think that love language develops at that moment, to bridge the gap between this butterflies-in-the-belly feeling of being irresistibly drawn to a stranger ; and falling in love with a person because you’re discovering who they really are - but it’s very scary, because you have to take the risk of being vulnerable and rejected and messing up. it’s like celine sciamma said, about lovers feeling like they’re inventing a new language every time. if there is not an element of that - something made of inner jokes, of unique little moments, of tentative attentions and attempts at connection, of doubt and taking risks, of learning something entirely new and specific, of making something new together - the romance generally bores me very deeply (i hate insta love for this reason, honestly.)

anyway, yes ^^ with knight AU I had thought about either making it like the movie where only Eliott goes back but like...it’s at the core of Lucas’ character that he goes after Eliott to a dark and scary place to let him know he’s not alone so that just needed to happen ^^

thank you for recommending my writing to your friend, that’s so sweet <3 haha and for your compliments, i think i’m absolutely delightful to be around at times but also frequently grumpy and cantankerous and a lil pretentious so you know ^^ it’s easy to present an idealized version of yourself on the internet. But! it’s still lovely to know that what you put out there vibes with another person so much, you know ?

anyway, big love to you, i hope you are having a lovely day and are doing ok ! <3