#ish... blame all of them tbh

[pompillar]

"You wanna know what I think?"

Sequel to "I've had it up to here with you!"

After a certain point it starts to get a little risque so minors shoo!

As the time got closer to 6 she fiddled with making her room look nice, making sure there was enough space for multiple ghouls to be, and that anything incriminating or embarrassing was put away. She knew it would be crowded no matter what. Thankfully her quick clean up found her with more chairs than she remembered the cathedral having. Maybe she should receive her guests in the actual chapel? There's enough pews... but there's still a massive gaping hole in the floor and who knows how many more waiting to be uncovered.

6 on the dot came around and there was a gentle knocking on her door. Luna stood quickly and walked over, unsure what she would find. Pulling the door open she was met with a few ghouls, Haku the one who knocked at the front.

"Hey, mind letting us in?" He smiled at her, the look in his eyes soothing her nerves.

"Uh yeah..." She stepped back and out of the way and was still shocked despite knowing how many of them were there.

Sho led Leo and Alan into the small kitchen on the other side of the room, all three men carrying large containers through the door.

Subaru and Kaito weren't far behind, bringing smaller containers with them.

Haku sat a small box by the bathroom door, shifting away as Leo reappeared and placed one of his own beside it.

Lucas stood off to the side awkwardly, Tohma beside him.

Ritsu filed in and made a beeline towards her, holding out a contract with a full set of 20 signatures. "Proof that we will all be civil while here."

She took the contract and started to read over it, having learned enough jargon from Ritsu after being dubbed his business partner that she could parse it easily enough. "Wow... this is impressive. And incredibly thought out. Thank you..."

Jiro and Yuri entered next, the doctor locating the Frostheimers and finding the furthest spot from them. Jiro gave her a robotic looking wave from his spot beside Yuri.

Haru, sans Peekaboo, was followed by Towa and a very annoyed Ren. Towa's arms were full of flowers and he nudged Ren with his foot. The first year grumbling as he put out the vases he had been carrying on every surface he could find. Towa went to work arranging immediately. And while many of them had no idea Zenji was following Towa around the room, suggesting which flowers would be better with each other.

Rui, Ed and Lyca came next, Rui carrying what looked like a luggage case. Lyca had a sketchbook in hand, looking determined. Edward found the comfiest looking chair and took a seat.

Glancing around she frowned, "We're missing a few..."

"Get your ass in there, you already agreed!" She knew that shrill tone anywhere.

"It's cramped! I'm going back!"

Ritsu leaned out the door, "Captain you signed the contract. Do you go back on your word so easily? Didn't you want to apologize to our inspector?"

The grumbling became a frustrated shout, "Fine! Move!" Taiga slunk into the room, hands stuffed in his pockets, followed by Romeo who looked irate.

Her eyes flickered to Tohma.

"You know how he is," The blond spoke softly and suddenly a blue portal opened, "Always wants to make a special entrance."

Jin stepped through and the portal closed behind him. But not before he brought a large box with him. Bringing it straight to her bed he sat it at the foot and looked into her eyes, "Well... we're all here it seems."

She nodded, "Yeah. I didn't think this place could fit so many people." Looking around she saw some tension thick enough it could be tangible. She inhaled softly, "Alright. If anyone gets too heated or irritated you can go through that door and hang out in the chapel for a bit to cool off."

Ren tried to make a quick exit only for Haru to put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze.

"So you've read our letters." Rui stepped up to the front, "It took us a lot to put this together so I hope it's up to your standards. We're planning to pamper you tonight. You have all the control here."

Haku added on, "Anything you don't like you can tell us to leave. We already figured at least one of us would get kicked out. You have the right to kick anybody out at any time."

Jin sighed, "And now the part we're all dreading..."

Tohma took over, "We collectively decided that it would be beneficial to clear the air so to speak. So please, tell us your grievances with us. I know you said we were all to blame, but we want to know what we've done. If you don't tell us how will we fix it?"

Luna stared in shock, "You... you want to hear what I have to say about each of you? As in what bothers me about you guys? Are you sure you want that?"

"We're big boys. We can handle it!" Haru laughed, "You can start anywhere. We're all ears for you."

She bit her lip and glanced at Taiga, then to Jin, then over to Ren, to Towa, and then Yuri when he spoke.

"If you're concerned about your safety don't be. No one brought their artifacts. We made sure certain people didn't bring auxiliary weapons as well..."

Jiro continued, "Any stigma use, aside from those activated unconsciously, is prohibited during this evening. We all signed the paper."

Nodding she took a deep breath, "Okay. Alright, just... try not to get too mad at me? Or sad... that's another thing I really don't wanna see. You can feel your feelings but when you give me certain looks it feels like you're trying to guilt me." Letting out a sigh she pointed around the room, “Remember what you signed. I read the details. You can’t hold anything I say tonight against me later!”

The room was quiet as most of them nodded, all eyes on her, waiting for what she had to say.

"Jin," She watched a slight tick in his jaw. "I hate being called a servant. It makes me feel like you don't actually want me around, like you could replace me easily. You make it so hard to get to you, and when I do get there you're dismissive. I always feel like you don't even like me because you hide your own feelings so deep you can't connect with people. The errands and chores you send me on are so bullshit. I don't have time to wash your shirts. I have better things I could be doing with my time. Like finding a way to break my curse. I understand you've been hurt before, but if you don't show me that you trust me even a little bit I won't be able to trust you. I just want... some respect I guess. Some type of acknowledgment that I'm not just the dirt beneath your feet."

He looked gutted, eyes wide for a moment as he gaped.

"Tohma," Not giving him a chance to respond she moved on. "You're difficult to read, and it's hard for me to have to decipher your mind games. I get that you have a lot to do, more than you'll ever show or admit. You make me feel like I can't be trusted with how much you tend to quiz me or play games with me. When we've played chess I almost feel like it's the most genuine you've ever been with me. And maybe your games make you feel smart, above people, or something like that. But I want to know that who I'm talking to is actually who you are. Be more genuine with me, be vulnerable. I am here to help you, not just the academy."

His eyes were equally wide at her admissions. Schooling his face he nodded.

"Lucas," There was a smile to her face. "You give everything you do 110 percent. But you tend to lose sight of things. You want to protect and defend so badly that sometimes you don't notice yourself getting hurt. And sometimes that hurts more than if I got hurt. It feels like you're reckless and you don't care enough about yourself to care when you're injured. I want you to try and remove those blinders that give you tunnel vision. Because I think you'll be so much stronger once you do."

He touched a hand to his chest, mulling her words over.

"Kaito," Another soft smile. "You're so sweet and energetic. The only issue is how much you don't believe in yourself. You constantly try to flirt with me, take me on dates, shoo other people away even though it never works. You're a coward, but you're aware of it at least. What I want for you, what I want from you, is to try and be more confident. How am I supposed to feel when the guy trying to show me how he feels thinks poorly of himself? Take some responsibility and try to unlearn this self loathing you have. I promise it's much easier when you do... I know from experience."

His eyes watered as he nodded, trying to stifle his sobs.

"Alan," Looking over to the man she sighed, "You're standoffish, you're a little hardheaded, you can't quite figure out how things work if you can't take them apart and put them back together. You take so much burden onto yourself that it's hard to get anything from you that's not never ending work. I want you to rely on me more. Yeah, I can't fight or really defend myself, and you always say it's dangerous to be around you. But I rarely feel safer on a mission than when I'm by your side. Please stop pushing me away. I want to be around you."

Looking shaken by the admission he stared daggers into the floor boards.

"Sho," Her eyes landed on him. "There's so many things you're good at. I have fun around you. I almost forget where we are. But at the same time you feel distant. Like you're only letting me into the first room and the rest of the house is locked. I'm sure you've had hardships too. But despite those I want to be able to see you, the Sho beneath the funny, creative, smart man that rides a motorcycle and cooks better than established chefs. I want you to show me the rest of you. I promise I can handle it."

Staring at her with his mouth agape there was a good few minutes he didn't seem to breath.

"Leo," She paused as she met those golden eyes daring her to go on. "I can't lie. You've been one of the hardest ghouls to deal with. Every step I take around you feels like the wrong one. You even tricked me into doubting myself. That my ability didn’t work all the time. You lied to so many people to get me away from you. There were times I wanted so badly to tell you to go fuck yourself. Actually, you know what, go fuck yourself Leo. All the times I thought I made progress and you just bulldozed my confidence. Or used my abilities without any regard for me. Or pushing me away while calling me stupid or useless. You have nerve but do you deserve to? What I want is for you to think about how your actions affect other people. Be kinder, hell, just be kind. Stop being so fake to me. If you wanna say you hate me just fucking say it instead of stringing me along and pretending to be my friend. The worst part is that I still can't find it in myself to hate you. Because somehow I can tell there's a glimpse of someone under all that bullshit that isn't a total asshole and actually cares about people."

He hissed under his breath and murmured, "Why is mine twice as long..." Alan cut his eyes at the vice captain and shut him up instantly.

"Haru," Taking in his confident pose she smiled, "Before I go into this can I ask who's taking care of Jabberwock right now? Especially Peekaboo."

"Oh don't you worry your pretty head about that. I have someone who's real good with the animals there and had a free evening who agreed to help out for no charge!" He added on quietly, "Mostly no charge... I'm gonna have to haul ass to finish all those assignments for her class."

Nodding she started again, "Haru. You're always so busy. No matter what you've got your hands full, your pockets empty and a lot of hope. It's inspiring really. But you have a few issues... you ignore your own health and safety for the sake of others. Going so far as to use your stigma to the point you break. And you're not free of blame here. If you could talk to another house nicely you might be able to get food scraps delivered and not have me make a trip out of my way. I don't mind helping sometimes. It just becomes so much with everything else. I feel like you some days with how thinly I'm stretched. I want... I want you to trust people enough to take a break. Not just one night off and then busting your ass again the next day. A real break. You're not the only one who can do it."

He bit his bottom lip and looked away.

"Towa," She chuckled at the shocked look on his face. "You're not free from this either. You always try to be so cute and innocent looking. But you have your own problems. Waiting until someone begs you to help when you know you can is so irritating. Yes, we need you to help. Not when it's already desperate times, when you know you can do it. And you always go straight to intimidating and using lightening on things when you're upset. I want you to work on communicating better. Not everything can be solved with violence. Learn to regulate your emotions internally and maybe you can solve things peacefully."

Pouting he made a sad little humming sound.

"Ren," Seeing him flinch when multiple eyes turned on him she sighed, "What can I say? You're difficult for a different reason. Everything is a negative with you. I know you hate things that are hard, or require you to do things, or use your brain for more than crunching numbers and game strategies. But sometimes I need you to lock in. You check out so easily that trying to get you to even talk to me is a chore. I want you to do the same as Towa, work on communicating better. Stop complaining when it doesn't go the easy way. Swallow your pride and step up when you know it's something you can do. Work and play go hand in hand, one without the other is unbalanced. I know you can do it, I believe in you."

His face was red as he looked at his feet.

"Taiga," She paused as they made eye contact, his green eyes dull in color but sharp in attention. "There's not enough time in a day for me to go over everything here. So let's start with the first one, stop pointing guns and pulling knives on me. I get that you don't always remember me, and that's irritating but I can work with that. I don't know if you really can't remember or if you just have facial blindness some days. And I can't say I understand you because no one is willing to go into the details of the clash with me, but I know it affected a lot of you negatively. One day I hope you'll trust me enough to tell me what happened." She bit her lip, "Your emotional state flips like a switch and becomes hard to manage, I never know how you'll react to what I say. And when you do react amicably and remember me it's still not great. You ask me to carry your bag, or be a pillow, or just call me a dumbass. I know you'll hate this but it's a lot like Jin. What I want is for you to try to work on what's going on inside your head. Maybe seeing Yuri about it, if he's comfortable with that. Be less argumentative and more willing to help out. You're the captain around Sinostra but I've seen Romeo do more in that aspect than you. I just want you to be more stable. Not in a way that I want to control you, more like I want to see you grow to be a better version of you."

He raised a brow at her, foot tapping against the floor.

"Romeo," There was another sigh. "I can try to keep yours short but let's face it... You and Leo are on the same wave length. If you're not running me ragged with silly little courier jobs you're berating me to my face. Calling me stupid, calling me plain, saying I have no fashion sense, which is rude there's a uniform to follow here you don't even know what my fashion sense is like because my wardrobe is back home. Your temper is so explosive that no matter what anyone says you can find something to be mad about. I get that you're stressed but taking it out on people who are trying to help you is going to push them away. I need you to try and relax more, work on what to do when you get angry, that's not yelling at people or threatening them. Maybe I'd be more interested in helping you if you weren't a landmine I can step on with one wrong word."

His face was turning red from the force of holding in the outburst that boiled under his skin.

"Ritsu," She laughed when he looked surprised. "Yes you're in this too. You're always prepared for anything we run into. And you quite literally use yourself as a shield to protect me. But there's a time and place to do your job and to play. You're the opposite of Ren, work play balance is important. Stop trying to charge people for wanting to hang out with you under the guise of consultation. Making friends is scary yes, it's hard to know if they'll like you, but you have to give them a chance. What I want from you is to try and unwind sometimes. Remember that you're at school, not an office, and try to have fun. Not everything has to be work all the time. You could burn yourself out if you keep this up for too long."

His eyes were comically wide and a hand was placed over his chest.

"Subaru," Seeing how nervous he was she gave him a smile. "Relax, I can tell you're grinding your teeth again. There we go, that's better. You tend to be one of the easiest ghouls to work with. Always hospitable and never rude to me. That's not where your problem lies. You have low self confidence, you're constantly apologizing for things you don't need to, you keep up a mask to hide your true feelings. You don't think people can handle the real you beneath the actor, or that people won't like you. But if you never open up how can they even try? I want you to work on being more honest with yourself and with others. Don't apologize for enjoying yourself, indulge every once in a while. Life is too short to avoid doing all the things you like."

He glanced at the floor nervously, gripping one of his arms tight.

"Haku," She watched the amused smirk on his face slowly disappear. "I could leave it at you're a terrible flirt and move on but that would be mean. You've helped me since I first got here, guided me, given me advice. And through all of that I don't think I've really gotten to know you. Everything is about someone or something else. You turn the focus away from yourself every time. I want to know you Haku, I want to know about you, what you like, what you don't like, what makes you mad, what makes you happy. Open up to me so I can see who you are under the helpful tease you masquerade as."

Wide yellow eyes locked onto her, clearly a bit shaken.

She paused for a second and stared into the empty air.

Zenji floated beside Haku and Subaru, "It's alright my dear. I'll hear your words later when it's only those privy to my existence around."

Snapping back to her task she stared at the cozy chair in the corner. "Edward, just because you're a centuries old powerful vampire does not give you immunity." She rolled her eyes at the mirth in his, "You're a problem ghoul for so many reasons. Constantly keeping information to yourself, not doing your job as captain, making Rui do basically everything for you. Not to mention all the passes you make at me after our first interaction where you called me plain and lacking sensuality. Rude. What I want from you is harder than most because you're older and not as open to change. You need to give me and the other ghouls something, the benefit of treating us like equals and not like funny little ants in a jar. You're so easily amused watching others struggle and it sucks. Take some responsibility, quit using being an old man as an excuse, and step the hell up when you're needed. You can't just rot away in bed every day and expect things to be okay."

He hummed softly and nodded, still looking amused.

"Rui," She smiled at the sudden nervous look on his face. "I really wish you weren't cursed so I could hold your hand while I tell you this. You're so helpful, sweet even though you're super flirty, I know I can talk to you when I'm stuck feeling down. Though you have your own issues. You're complacent, like you've given up on your own curse but you're still trying to help me break mine. And it hurts to see you so defeated, I've seen behind your little persona before, and I saw you for you. It made me want to help you more, and despite that you still take on any task that comes your way. I know you can't sleep and you need to do things but sometimes I wanna see you relax. You're so busy doing things for other people when was the last time you did something for yourself? I want you to be more selfish. Don't ignore your own needs for others."

Taking in a shaky breath he looked down, hiding his face behind his bangs.

"Lyca," Watching him flinch she pouted. "I'm not angry at you. Just let me say some things. You're trying so hard to catch up with everyone else. This is a very strange place to you and you've done so well trying to adapt to it. To learn about human society and coexist, it's hard even for humans sometimes. But there's always things we can do to improve. You're a little rough around the edges, and you tend to scare people off when you're too rough. You pick fights really easily because you have strong opinions and morals. Those aren't bad things, but you have to learn to control it a little more. I have strong opinions but you don't see me growling and baring my teeth at people who oppose them. Maybe I should with some of you though... Anyway I want you to work on your emotions. Try to find healthy ways to release your anger that aren't fighting. Maybe look into more free form art? Your sketches are great, maybe you could find a way to vent some feelings into it."

He pouted, glaring at a spot on the wall.

"Yuri," He jumped as she laid eyes on him. "You're brilliant. You know how to save lives and make them better. I'm not just saying it to make you feel better before I go in on you. I do believe that. That being said you have some flaws to work on. You have a freeze response to panic and trauma. And it can cause problems. You're abrasive when questioned because you see it as being challenged. The bravado you have is just a mask to hide the shy, kind man underneath and protect him from being hurt again. And thank you for being brave enough to come here even when you have so many reasons not to want to be in this room with certain people. I'd like to ask the brilliant doctor Yuri Isami to work not only on being more humble but not insulting people to make himself feel better. You can be confident without putting people down in the same breath, let your actions speak for themselves and not need to use others as pedestals to rise higher. You're enough."

There was a hiccup that he tried to stifle, hiding his red face and teary eyes in Jiro's arm.

"And Jiro," She smiled as his face didn't change at all. "One of the ghouls I see most often, but feel like I know the least about. You're clinical and come off as apathetic. And you've been through a lot, people don't realize how much, I don't think Yuri even knows all of it. But you show no signs of distress. And that worries me sometimes. While I do see little cracks here and there, like a tiny smile or a chuckle when I get scared of something you find mundane, or when you startle yourself laughing at stag beetles fighting, I see Jiro in those moments. I want to see more, maybe that's selfish when you should be working on recovering from your illness and injuries, but those little moments are so precious to me because I see the Jiro who enjoys life underneath it all. I want you to work on trying to open up more, be a little more vulnerable with me at least? I want to know who you are on the inside."

He blinked slowly, eyes a fraction wider. A shudder went down his back and he glanced around.

Zenji had floated towards him and hovered there, trying not to let his tears overwhelm him. "That was beautiful my dear! You truly reached out to him with everything you had!"

Her smile was fond as she sat back on her nicely made bed. "So... now that I've said my piece, what's next? I'm open to hearing you out or just listening if-" Startled by the sudden movement she held herself still as Jin fucking Kamurai approached her bed and kneeled before her like a knight. "Huh?" Her eyes were wide as he spoke.

"I can't... can't apologize enough for how I made you feel." He looked pained as he forced himself to make eye contact, "If you're willing to forgive me... I'll make it up to you however you want. I won't call you that again. It was never supposed to be more than a joke, and I know that my jokes are... not as easy to read anymore. I'm sorry for the distress I've caused you. But," He stood slowly, making himself the king once more. "Don't ever feel like I could easily replace you, or that I don't like you, or that I think you're beneath me. Don't push your own misconceptions onto me like that. You don't get to decide how I feel."

She swallowed roughly, "I... thank you... you don't know how much that means to me."

Tohma appeared at his side and held out his hand, taking Luna's gently. "I should apologize as well. I never knew it felt like I was being so closed off. Please tell me whenever you feel that way. I'll rectify it immediately. There's just no way I'd ever want you to think that you're less than I."

Her smile softened and she gave his hand a squeeze, "Thank you."

Lucas and Kaito made their way over, the sudden growing crowd pushing Jin to leave her side. The white haired man gestured with a jerk of his head to the window. Tohma picking up on it quickly followed him, the window was opened and the two stepped out onto the roof and closed it behind themselves.

“Luna…” He took her hand and his amethyst eyes bore into her own. “I swear to you that I will try with everything in me to be better. But I cannot promise that I won’t continue to throw myself in front of you when danger is near. I would make another pact just to defend you if it came down to it.”

Her eyes widened, “Luca you really don’t need to do that. In fact please don’t. I don’t want to know what happens if you make a pact with more than one demon…” She frowned, “And I feel like you missed my whole point…”

The blond sat down beside her and looked at his feet, his eyes still watery, “Even when you’re telling us to get our shit together you’re still so nice. It’s not fair.” He leaned against her arm subconsciously, “I want to be better for you. I wanna break this stupid curse so you never have to worry about it again. I’m going to try harder… so please keep believing in me. Even if I am a coward.”

She reached up and stroked Kaito’s head soothingly, “Shh. It’s okay. I know you will. Whenever you put your mind to something you do great things.”

Lucas also reached for Kaito, but mostly in concern as he noticed the small group that approached from behind. He pulled his friend up and shifted to the side, “Come on. Let’s go get her a plate of those sweets you made.”

Looking up she met Alan’s unflinching steel eyes. She waited, nearly holding her breath from the intensity of his gaze.

“I… am not good with words. But… if you really want to be near me even with what you know I can do… I can’t tell you no. I’ll do whatever I can to protect you. So… please don’t take anything you said back.” He stood before her in that same awkward stance, arms to his sides like he didn’t know what to do with them, hands clenched into fists, almost as if he was prepared to fight.

She smiled and stood up, taking one of his hands and holding it gently between her own. “Thank you Alan. That means a lot to me. And trust me, there’s no way I’ll be taking it back.”

Sho cleared his throat, “So… you think you can handle all of me?” His brow quirked up as he watched her start to turn red. “I’m kidding, chill. Jeez… you probably should have worded that better Senpai. You’ll make guys think some crazy things if you aren’t careful…”

Luna released Alan’s hand and pouted, “I wasn’t expecting you to be dirty about it… how come it feels like you aren’t taking it seriously?”

He grinned, “Well most of what you said was praise anyway. So I don’t have as much homework as some of these guys do.”

“Typical Sho…” With a sigh she waited, her eyes landing on a very irritated Leo. The wait was long and silent, he didn’t move, and she didn’t ask him to. What felt like ten minutes had passed before Alan turned and grabbed him by the arm, hauling him to stand before her.

“It’s your turn. Don’t be rude.”

“Let go of me you fucking gorilla! I don’t owe her shit!” He wrenched his arm from Alan and glared at him, then turned the same heated daggers on her. “I’m not apologizing.”

“You don’t have to. You just have to listen.” Shrugging she looked away, clearly a bit let down by his answer.

Leo snarled, “I don’t have to listen to you! You’re just a normie who got cursed and dropped into something way out of their league. You’re not my problem.”

Sho cleared his throat again to get their attention, “Leo. You keep saying all that shit but you were helping orchestrate this whole plan right from the start. Just give it up, just for tonight at least.”

He glared at Sho, “Traitor…” Turning back to her he refused to make eye contact. “Whatever. I guess you don’t suck as much as I first thought. I mean, you did manage to bring a Kamurai to their knees. You must be able to do something right.”

“Leo…” Alan grumbled behind him.

“Uuuugh! Fine! I’m sorry!” His cheeks were pink from either embarrassment or rage she didn’t know. “You look so normal that having all this power was pissing me off okay? You shouldn’t be able to do what you do so easily! But you do it anyway. And maybe I just didn’t like that okay? You assholes happy now?” He crossed his arms and stomped towards the chapel, disappearing into the other room.

Luna chuckled softly and shouted after him, “Thanks Leo! I guess that’s the best I’m getting out of you!” Looking back she sat on the edge of her bed and shook her head.

Sho and Alan both sighed and muttered apologies as they move towards the kitchen area.

Before Haru could take a step forward Kaito and Luca reappeared with a small plate of cookies and mini brownies. The blond handed it to her, “I hope you like these. I remember you said you liked matcha so I tried a recipe for matcha cookies.”

“Oh these look awesome. Thank you Kaito!” She took the plate and smiled, watching him walk over and take a seat by her desk.

“Enjoying your personal show?” Haru stepped up to her, Towa not far behind.

She smiled and bit into a cookie, “Mhm. I have to say it’s a little bit of a power trip… it might not be good to give me this much free reign. I might start telling you guys off more often if this is what I get for it.”

The captain of Jabberwock laughed and sat to her right on the bed, “So it’s my turn to own up. I’m sorry I worry you. I’m just so used to being up at the front that not using my powers is just beyond me. And yeah I get the whole break thing… it’s just hard to imagine these two being able to handle it without me.”

“Like I said, interhouse relationships should be stronger. I know you guys won’t tell me what happened and that this night is an exception. But if you can try to be more amicable towards each other you can lessen the burdens on all of you. Maybe you’ll be able to convince someone to be a courier for food scraps, or a helping hand with the animals, or someone to safe guard Peekaboo while you’re away. There’s options. You just have to find a way to work with them.”

He gave her a soft smile, “I wish it was as easy as you make it sound. Maybe the second years and first years will be able to pull it off but I think us third years are beyond reconciling.”

“Haru Sagara, that’s quitter talk. You better fix that.” She nudged him playfully, “But thank you, even though you didn’t actually say you’d work on your problems…”

They were both surprised as Towa flopped across their laps with a whine.

“Wh- Towaaaa! What are you doing?” Haru floundered a bit, trying to make sure his friend didn’t roll off the bed.

“Dandelion~” He looked up from where his head was resting on her lap, “I’m sorry for making you mad. I’ll try to be better. But you know it’s hard when Wolfsbane is so lazy.”

She smiled down at him and pet his hair, “You have to try harder. And maybe try to be a little more gentle with things? You’re like an untamed animal sometimes, and it can be a little scary.”

Pale eyes widened, “I don’t ever want to scare you Dandelion!”

There was shock and intrigue around the room as most had never heard the ghoul speak until now.

“I know. And that’s why you’ll try.” She continued stroking his fluffy hair as another ghoul stepped up. His stature and bad posture gave him away before she looked up.

“Hey…” Ren rubbed the back of his neck, a scowl on his face as he fought to find words with so many eyes on him.

“Hey yourself.” She continued to pet Towa’s hair, feeding him one of the cookies from the plate when he showed interest.

Ren swallowed around a lump in his throat, “...Fuck. What the hell am I supposed to say?” He closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

“Maybe start with an apology? That’s how the best reactions have started so far.” Haru chuckled at the annoyance on Ren’s face at his comment.

He grunted, “I’m sorry you’re wasting your faith by believing in me.” As Luna tried to interupt he continued, “I’m lazy, I hate doing things, I hate talking to people, I hate physical interactions. But it sucks less when it’s you… so I guess I’m saying thanks? For you know… trusting me even though I’m not really that great? God this is stupid. I can’t promise you anything! I’ll do what I can but if you aren’t there to bug me then I won’t try as hard!” His face was turning red as he rambled, “Not because I like your company or anything just because you’re annoying in a way I can’t ignore! An- why are you laughing?!” Ren was bristled like a scared cat.

She put a hand to her mouth trying to stifle the giggles. “So-sorry… you just… it’s just so Ren! Everything you said… it’s so on brand for you…” Calming herself she kept going, “Just know the next time you accuse me of being on my period when I’m irritated with you is the first time I try to make a man feel what a period actually feels like.”

Ren suppressed the shiver that ran down his spine at that, “Yeah… got it… but how-”

“You do know how close I am to the ghouls at Mortkranken right? I’m sure Yuri could make something that would simulate the pain very accurately.”

“Ren Shiranami did you really say that to her?!” Haru looked at him appalled.

“Wh-why are you getting mad at me?! She just threatened me!”

“And you said something rude and misogynistic to her! You’re a ghoul, you can handle whatever punishment she dishes out.” He frowned and stood up, taking Ren’s ear and dragging him by it.

“Owww! Hey! Let go of me you clown!”

Towa stood up and quickly hugged her, “I’ll make sure he does what he should Dandelion. And I promise I won’t use lightening on him.” Turning he smiled and followed Haru and Ren over to the corner where it seemed like Haru was already lecturing him.

Taking another mini brownie she popped it into her mouth and watched Taiga stalk to the side of her bed, stopping right in front of her, hands stuffed in his pockets as he stared her down. The typical lazy lean in his posture was missing, as was the signature grin. He turned and plopped down beside her, still silent. The other two Sinostra ghouls were close by, watching their captain like hawks.

The man let out a heavy sigh and flopped onto his back, grabbing her hand and tugging her down beside him. You could hear a pen drop as the room went quiet, watching in fear, jealously, anger, and intrigue.

“You coulda just yelled at me. That woulda been easier to deal with.”

Unbothered by his antics she hummed, “That’s what Romeo does. How often do you listen to him?”

He chuckled, “Got a point there.” Turning his head he met her eyes, really taking in the vibrant pink and reds in her irises. “I’m serious. I don’t care what I say after this. If I ever piss you off or make you think I’m actually gonna hurt you just tell me to go fuck myself. If I get annoyed when you say it then tell me you have permission. I should get the hint by then.” Taiga stared at her wide eyes and leaned in to press his forehead against hers, speaking softly. “I don’t trust any quacks enough to go let em poke around in my head. So sorry I won’t be doing that part. But I’ll try to be better for you… do I get anything in return if I improve?” His eyes lit up with that usual mischief.

Luna laughed and shook her head, a smile brightening her face, “Maybe. But it depends on how good you get. I might make you something nice. Like a sweater since you’re always so cold.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, “Fuck that. Just be my personal heater instead. Way less effort.”

“Ahem!” Romeo shouted instead of actually clearing his throat, magenta eyes silently ripping into Taiga. There were several ghouls around the room glaring as well, some being held back by others. “You might want to rethink where you are before you start getting handsy you TGA!”

Taiga groaned and rolled towards the other side of her bed, facing away from them, “And you might wanna read the mood sometimes Lulu.”

The vice captain clearly had a hard time not blowing his lid at the comment but he stuffed his insults down and stepped up to the bed. “Now that he’s got his dirty claws out of you I can start.”

She giggled and sat up, smoothing her hair back, “Yeah. So Romeo, what do you have to say?”

“Maybe you have a point with the wardrobe comment. It seems like Darkwick didn’t even bother giving you more than the most basic plain clothes. So the next time you’re free and find yourself around Sinostra let me know. I can take your measurements and get you actual decent clothes to wear besides your uniform.”

Rui interjected, “As long as you keep the measurement taking professional!”

The man flustered and whirled around to point at him, “Mickey you shut your mouth! I didn’t mean it the way you would!”

“Romeo… this right here is the other thing I was talking about…” She drew his attention away from the smug ghoul standing in a corner by himself. “The ease at which you get angry is concerning.”

He inhaled deeply and released the breath slowly, “I am trying! To not get as angry that is.” Looking back at her he avoided meeting her gaze, “It’s not that I don’t take breaks or relax sometimes. It’s that I have to do everything if I want it done right. And-”

“Stop,” She watched him for a second, seeing the rage build from being cut off. “I’m not trying to annoy you. I get that you’re a perfectionist. But nothing is perfect, and nothing is forever, so sometimes you’re going to have to deal with good enough as your finish line.” Reaching out she took his gloved hand and held it gently, “Give a little more power to those around you to take the weight off your own shoulders. You have a captain and a first year to share responsibilities with. You know he’s capable, let Ritsu take something off your plate to lessen the burden.”

His face was red but this time it was clearly not anger. Coughing into his other fist he looked away, “I’ll think about it.”

Letting his hand free she smiled and held out the small plate to him, “Take a cookie and relax. The sugar might help you.”

Making a face he took one of the sweets from the plate and stood to the side taking a bite as Ritsu walked briskly up to Luna.

“Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting any of that.” He paused to collect his thoughts, “I am a paralegal. And I’m doing my job. So while I see your points I’m still undecided on how I will apply them. Perhaps you’re right, I am at school and not an office environment. But I must use my time wisely to prepare for my future.”

Watching him spin his wheels she propped her chin in her hand. “Ritsu… do you mind listening to me again?”

“Wh- why would I need to do that? I’ve re-”

“I know you recorded it. Replay it real quick and really listen to it.”

Doing as she said he brought the recorder to his ear and played that section back. His face went on a trip between his usual self assured smile to a flustered confused mess. “I… I have listened.”

“Mhm… and are you processing the words now?”

He nodded slowly and gave her a timid glance, “I… was unaware that people were merely trying to befriend me. I believe I’ll need to do some research to better understand where I’m making mistakes.”

She smiled in return, “There we go. Sometimes going over it again is useful right? You find things you missed the first time around.” Watching him stumble over her using his own words back at him she giggled, “Thank you Ritsu. I know you’ll work on it.”

As he retreated to Romeo’s side he was passed by Subaru and Haku, Zenji floating above them.

Subaru upon reaching her side instantly bowed low, “I’m saying sorry now so I can try to avoid saying it again. I’m so sorry Luna.”

Holding back a sigh she leaned forward, “Please get up Subaru. I hate seeing you bow like that.”

Sitting up he stared into her eyes, “...I’m so…” Biting his lip he inhaled sharply, “I’m already messing up…”

“Try again.”

He took a few breaths to try and clear his head. “Thank you. I want to give you an answer you’ll like. But I’m worried I’ll fall short of your expectations. So… instead of worrying about that… I’m going to say what I honestly want to say to you.”

Smiling she watched him with bated breath.

“You’re so many things I want people to see me as. You’re kind, you’re compassionate, you’re incredibly strong willed, you’re compelling, you’re humble about all of it, and at the end of the day you’re still a joy to be around like you haven’t been giving your all for the sake of others. And it’s all natural to you… and I think sometimes I’m jealous of that. That you don’t have to try to be any of those things. You just are. I’m so grateful that you care enough about me and everyone here that despite everything you’ve been through that you still want to even be near us.” He stopped himself and cleared his throat, “Was that self deprecating?”

Her cheeks had turned pink at how enthralled he’d seemed as he spoke, “A… a little bit yes.”

“I can’t promise you that I’ll be the same person if I listen to your request. And it will take time… but I hope that when you do see the me behind the mask that you’ll still want to be around me.” His eyes were distant by the time he finished his sentence.

She smiled, “Subaru… I’m still going to like you. Because you may think you’re not any of those things or that I do it effortlessly but both of those things are wrong. I’ve had to make myself be kind, make myself humble, make myself the person you see. There’s been effort, you just haven’t seen it because you didn’t know me then.”

“Thank you… uh… are you still hungry? I have some sweets and tea I can prepare for you.” Standing he barely dodged Haku moving closer.

“I’d love that.” As she went to speak suddenly Haku’s hand planted itself beside her on the bed and he leaned in, his face inches away from hers. She made a flustered noise and turned red, “H-H-Haku?!”

“You caught me huh Princess?” He smirked, “You’re right of course. I don’t really offer a lot of information about me. Maybe you think I’m hiding something but the truth is I’m just not all that interesting.” His eyes told a different story from how the slit pupil focused on her eyes like if they looked away it would wound him.

Zenji almost went into a fit but before he could even raise his voice Subaru cut in, “Haku. You’re too close,” A fan was opened with a flourish between their faces and the Hotarubi captain pushed the paper fan closer and closer until Haku was forced to step back. “Try to have a little more decorum.” There was a slight twitch in the corner of his mouth as he eyed the green haired ghoul.

“You took the words right out of my mouth Subaru! What on earth would possess you to invade a lady’s personal space like that?!” Zenji stood on Haku’s other side nagging him, “I know you’re a lout but you don’t have to show everyone in attendance that you are!”

Haku sighed, “My bad. I tripped on this huge box here,” Nudging the box Jin had brought with his foot he glanced over his shoulder to see the Kamurai heir give him an aggravated stare from his place by the window. When he and Tohma had gotten back he didn’t know.

Luna frowned, “Here we go again. Another cover up. Haku… I respect you and enjoy your company. But please, please stop going back on your advances. I’m so tired of you saying just kidding when I know you’re serious. I think everyone in this room knows you’re serious.”

Taken aback by the statement he cleared his throat, “Damn Princess… watch what you say. A guy might take it the wrong way.” He tugged at the collar of his shirt.

“Just say you mean you already Hakucchi!” Rui shouted from where he was trying to wait his turn to get into the kitchen area while avoiding contact.

“Oh don’t worry Rui I’m going to revisit that when you come up here in a minute!” Luna gave the blond a look and smirked at the flicker of fear on his face.

Haku knelt down beside her and took one of her hands, “I’ll try… to be more open about myself. Just don’t expect it to be easy for either of us.”

“Something about the ghouls? Easy? For me or them? Never!” She laughed at the wry smile he broke into before kissing her hand and following Subaru.

Luna stared at Zenji for a minute, wanting nothing more than to address him.

“I know dear, I know.” He bowed his head to her, “We’ll have a chance later.” Floating after the other Hotarubi ghouls he settled beside them.

She startled when another body dropped onto the bed beside her, “Whoa!”

“Hmm… it’s not quite as soft as mine. But it’s definitely better than sitting in that chair over there.” Edward had taken it upon himself to flop unceremoniously onto her bed.

“Glad you could join me instead of being stuck in bed rot mode.”

“I could never turn away when I know you’re suffering in agony in here all by your lonesome.”

“Yeah, we’ll talk about your letter later by the way. Next time give me a warning for what I’m about to be reading.” She turned her body to face him. “So… go on. I know you’re going to spin some pretty words together.”

He smiled softly at her, “Perhaps you’re right dear. I have been cooped up for quite some time. Darkwick makes it so easy to be comfortable here. As for my age, I assure you it’s no ploy. I truly do have aches and pains from the years I’ve lived. But I will do my best to try and achieve these lofty tasks you’ve set for me. I may have been a bit too jaded about you and these ghouls. Though there’s definitely still some surprises in store…”

“Cryptic bastard.” She reached out and fluffed his hair, “If you don’t try hard then I’m going to steal Rui and Lyca away from you for a whole week and make you deal with your own mess.”

“Darling you’re so cruel.” Despite his words the smile never left his face, leaning into her touch. “But if you ask me the cruelty only makes you that much sweeter.”

Rui could be heard asking people to move so as to avoid touch. “Okay that’s enough time for you Ed.” He walked up and winked at Luna, “You should roll him off your bed since you’ve already got one that won’t get up. Isn’t that right Tai?”

The redhead was currently curled against her pillows, not showing any sign of hearing them or if he did that he cared at all.

She sighed, “I would but I’m pretty sure Ed would be more annoying if I pushed him off.”

“Rui you shouldn’t joke like that, she might start to think you actually mean it.” The vampire pouted at him.

“I do.” The blond sighed and smiled at her again, “So… you really think all that?” When she nodded and returned his smile he continued, “Well… maybe I am complacent. I’ve tried and tried and hunted down everything that could possibly help me with this curse of mine. I’ve come to accept it as what I’ll have to live with. And being selfish? Now that doesn’t sound like a good thing to tell a guy who’s been trying to take you on a date since the first day he met you!”

“Do it.”

He faltered at the bold statement, “Uh come again?”

“I said do it. If you want to so badly then ask me outright and take me on a date. You and Haku both have no follow through and it’s been a little frustrating to be honest.”

His face was red as he tried to ignore the stares and bewildered looks from around the room. “Ah… I mean… you can’t put me on the spot here in front of all these other guys! I have to plan it and make sure everything is perfect first!”

She stared fondly at him, “Anything you do is going to be great Rui. You make sure of it.”

The blond groaned, “God… I wanna take your hand and lead you to the garden and pick flowers with you and make breakfast for you and-”

“Breathe Rui,” Her laugh was a chiming bell in his ears.

“Princess put him out of his misery already.” Haku chirped from where he was still being eyed warily by Subaru.

The reaper cursed ghoul sighed, “I wish more than anything I could just take your hand and hold it to my chest so you could feel how hard my heart is beating right now.”

“That’s the honest Rui I’ve seen before. Not the silly flirt. The genuine article.” She reached for him and smiled sadly as she let her hand drop. “I wish I could hold your face in my hands and tell you that everything is going to be okay.”

Lyca huffed loudly and moved around the blond, “You’re taking up too much time! The food is gonna get cold if you don’t hurry it up!” Stopping in front of Luna he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Hi Lyca,” She watched Rui step aside to try and calm himself.

“Hey…” He glanced away, looking surprisingly shy for someone who just butted into a conversation vying for his turn.

“So about what I said…”

“I’ll do my best. It’s hard… you don’t get it because you’re human. People here… they don’t like me. They’re scared of me. They don’t think I should be walking around out here. But I’m not dangerous!” His tone and volume lowered as he lost the bite to his words, “You know that… right?” If his ears were out they would be drooping.

Luna reached out for him, “Come here.”

He stepped closer and let out a shocked yelp as she tugged him down into a hug, pressing his face to her neck. “I know you aren’t. The only reason I was scared when you transformed was because I’d never seen you like that before and you looked like you were in pain. You could be dangerous if you wanted to be, but you choose not to be. And that’s what people aren’t seeing.” She stroked his hair softly, “I really want you to be able to make more friends. I’m sure Hotarubi has some type of art gathering sometimes right guys?”

Subaru perked up, “Oh, yes actually there’s a get together for the arts twice a month. We all share our current works and teach each other new techniques for our own crafts. It’s a very rewarding tradition that’s been in effect for years before I became a part of it. I could invite you sometime Lyca. I’m sure they’d all be in awe of your sketches.”

The werewolf was silent but nodded as he relaxed into Luna’s hold. “...You’re warm. Feels nice…” Was all he said after a minute of silence.

Giggling softly she took her hands back, “I’ll give you hugs whenever you want then.”

He nodded and stood back up, unbothered by the stares from around the room as he went over to Subaru.

A throat was cleared as one of the shorter ghouls stepped to her now. Yuri was trying to keep his usual demeanor but his face was already flushed and his gloves felt far too sweaty and restrictive. “Well… you were definitely right about some of what you said. Mostly the first part…”

“Mhm?” Watching him closely she tried to not grin at how hard he avoided eye contact.

“I suppose calling you a worm is… not quite appropriate. I believe you may be onto something as far as how I should address my patients…” He stumbled over his words, “H-however! I am not going to let you sit there and say I freeze or panic in hard situations!” Holding a finger up he pointed at her, “I have acted quite quickly in those moments!”

“Except for the Oui-cest-bon case.” Jiro added in a deadpan.

Flustered by his assistant he held back an undignified squawk, “I- there were circumstances at play!”

“Mhm. And this is what I’m talking about Yuri. You’re trying to play off the issues you caused. And while you weren’t trying to you still did freeze and it almost cost you Jiro.” She took his sleeve and tugged him closer, “And I know more than anyone that you wouldn’t be able to take that loss. He’s more than your vice captain, more than your patient, he’s your closest friend. The one that you trust more than anyone else. So if not for me, then try to be better for him okay?”

His face scrunched up and turned red again as he tugged his arm away from her, “I-I don’t need you to say all that! I wasn’t saying I wouldn’t try! It’s just… difficult.”

“I understand. You’re a very proud person. It’s hard to accept that you’ve made a mistake or caused problems. But the sooner you accept it the sooner you get to be a better doctor, a better friend, and a better person in general.” Luna smiled, “I meant what I said Yuri, you’re enough.”

Looking away he blinked hard and croaked, “I heard you the first time you… you…”

“Come on… say something that’s not an insult.”

“You… lady.” He finished with no bite and all the wind taken out of his sails.

She chuckled, “That’s a start. Okay, Jiro, it’s your turn before Yuri combusts.”

He stepped forward and leaned over to check Yuri’s face, “I don’t think he’s going to spontaneously combust but if that’s a possibility I should go get a med kit.”

“Why are you so close?!” Yuri shrilled and backed away to go back to his corner.

There was a tiny smile tugging at Jiro’s lips as he turned back to her.

“Alright, tell me what you think about what I said.”

“Well, it’s difficult to describe.” His eyes shifted up as he thought about it, “My heart rate increased, and my mouth became slightly dry. I finished my medication almost exactly before we arrived so it shouldn’t be an attack. Maybe something about being in here with all these other ghouls is affecting me?” Touching his thumb and forefinger to his chin he glanced at the unamused look on her face and that hint of a smirk was seen again.

“Jiro… the non medical opinion please.” Luna had to crane her neck to look up at him from where she sat.

He surprised her as he suddenly crouched down as if checking her vitals, “I want to make you happy by completing these goals you’re giving me. But I’m not sure if they’re realistic. The real me is someone I don’t remember. I lost a lot of myself in the coma. Yuri thinks there’s a link between my recent attacks and memory triggers that I’ve run into but it’s not easy to recreate so it’s just a theory. But if it makes you happy then I can try to be more… vulnerable? At least to you or Yuri. I can’t leave myself vulnerable to any germs though. My immune system is still shot.” Looking up at her he saw the telltale quirk of a smile, “Oh? Did I say something funny?”

“Yeah. Your sense of humor may be broken in Yuri’s standards but I find it refreshing.” She giggled and reached out to play with his hair, “Oh did you shower?”

“Mhm, Yuri insisted I clean myself up before getting here.”

“Your hair feels so soft.”

He leaned into her hand, “I’m glad you like it.”

As everyone settled she sat back again, “Okay. So that’s everyone. Now can I please ask a group question? About that last letter… I’ve been on enough missions with all of you to know your different hand writing so none of you can deny who wrote what. But what was that about ‘Your Ghouls’ at the end there?” Watching the crowd for any kind of tells she could see several flushed faces, a few turning their heads to avoid her gaze, and some ghouls staring into her eyes with purpose.

Jin answered first, “Isn’t it obvious? You’re mine. And that means I’m yours. It’s as simple as that.”

His vice captain turned to look at him with absolutely unfiltered disbelief on his face, “...Did you really just say that to a woman? Are you serious? Did you learn how to speak to women from bodice rippers?”

“What the hell is a bodice ripper?” He narrowed his eyes in confusion.

Edward laughed softly, “Hmm the little prince is bold. But can he back up what he says?” Sitting up he put an arm around Luna’s waist and spoke in a deep hushed tone in her ear, “I signed that knowing full well what I meant. I’m yours if only you’ll let me have you as well. And I think we both know what I’m willing to offer you. After all, I can tell by your scent alone that you’re still thinking about my personal letter to you.”

She squirmed a bit, eyes focused on the floor, “Ed…”

“Back off moth eaten casanova!” Lyca growled at the display and Ed released her.

Haku sighed, “Princess, you aren’t that naive, right? You know what we meant. At least I know I did. You want me to stop backing down right? I like you. More than just a normal infatuation. And I’m prepared to wait for an answer for however long it takes. I’ll be yours no matter who you choose, even if I can’t stand who it is.” His face was more serious than she thought she’d ever seen it when not on a mission.

Rui chuckled, “Hakucchi quit stealing my lines. Luna, I think I might honestly be head over heels for you. No flirty playboy thing, no pick up lines, just straight up. And even if we can’t touch, and it kills me to not be able to hold you, I’ll want you forever.”

She covered her face and peeked through her fingers, “Oh my god you guys are unfair going back to back like that. Stupid smooth talking pretty boys…”

Taiga shifted now, dragging her back to his side, “Hey Kitty Cat. I’m not letting these guys take you for themselves. Not when I’m willing to let you have anything you want from me. Hell, I barely sign papers for anyone but you. You realize how special that makes you to me right?”

“BTH quit touching her so casually!” Romeo fussed as he approached, “The priest boy is right. I think it’s quite obvious what we all meant. God knows some of these desperate fools aren’t subtle about it.” He glared over his shoulder at a certain blond.

Kaito flinched under Romeo’s gaze and grabbed hold of Luca’s sleeve. Causing the other to carefully push Kaito behind himself.

“Alright! Enough of you guys simping!” Sho pushed the kitchen door open, “Food’s done! Cap, bring that out here first, I’m getting the next set.”

Luna stared in shock at the amount of food that was brought out, all of it what she’d checked on the list. Rui had opened the case he’d brought in and set up his on the road mixology equipment. He got to work making both his usual drinks and mocktails for the less inclined to anomalous alcohol. Sho and Alan had set two folding tables out with all the food and plates and silverware. The light haired first year plated her food and brought it straight to her. “Here ya go Senpai.”

Taking the plate she looked up and blinked owlishly, “That’s… this is incredible. You made all this today?”

“Had some help. But yeah most of this was already cooked before we got here. Just had to reheat some stuff in your kitchen. Don’t worry, we’ll handle the dishes too.” He winked and stepped back to the table, “Alright you guys, go ahead and line up! I made enough for everyone cause I know some of us haven’t eaten since we got that text this morning. That means you Leo!” He shouted at the door to the chapel.

It opened slowly and the still very aggravated man stepped back into the room, phone in hand. “You know you don’t have to yell you asshole.” He held a hand over one of his ears as if he’d been listening the entire time. Of course he was who are we kidding?

As drinks and food were passed around and people started to eat the atmosphere became less heavy. They were starting to get more comfortable around each other, which of course some of the drinks helped a few of them.

Lyca found his way back to her side after finishing his food. The sketchbook was in his hands again, “Luna.”

She looked up to him, “Hey Lyca, what’s up?”

Sitting beside her he inhaled softly, “I have something for you. The blond gigolo helped me figure out what to give you but it’s all my stuff.” He looked nervous as he held the book out to her.

Luna raised a brow as she took it into her hand, noting that it wasn’t quite a sketchbook. It was actually a book of pages from one bound together with ribbon and metal rings. Opening it she stared, each page more beautiful than the last. Some of the pages were just her, rendered so well it was almost scary, other pages were filled with places around campus, and some off campus like the mansion they’d gone to for that mission. She got through to the last page and smiled, it was a drawing of her and Lyca sitting side by side on their favorite bench.

“Suba gave me the photo he took of us, I didn’t know he took one actually, but I used it to draw this.” Watching her he swallowed, “Do you like it?”

“Lyca, I love this. Your art is so wonderful. I’m keeping this forever!” She smiled, “But are these the originals? I feel like you should keep those.”

He shook his head, “Blond gigolo is ahead of you. He took the original ones and made these copies of them.”

“Good. I’d hate for something to happen and you not have them.” Luna stared at the book, a solemn smile taking over her face.

“Nothing’s gonna happen. You’re not gonna go anywhere. And if for some reason you do, nobody is allowed to take those away from you.” His eyes made it feel like there were no exceptions to what he said.

“Thank you Lyca. I love them.” She patted his head and laughed when he stood up and shook it like a dog.

“Don’t do that. It’s weird…” Wandering off towards the others he tried to keep his red face hidden.

Taking the book she tucked it into her nightstand drawer and sat back on her bed, watching the ghouls with a smile.

As soon as Taiga was finished with whatever he could stomach he came over and flopped back onto the bed, aiming for her lap as a pillow.

She snorted and ran a hand through his hair, “Not even asking?”

“Don’t have to.”

“It’s polite to ask.”

“When have I ever given a fuck about being polite?” He gave a toothy grin.

“Fair enough.”

Leo had disappeared again and she scanned the room for him.

“Looking for someone honor roll?” Apparently he had snuck up to her side without being seen at all.

Jumping she nearly clawed Taiga’s scalp and he hissed in return, “Leo what the hell?!”

He laughed, “Jeez, jumpy much? Anyway, get up. Follow me.”

“But I’m-”

“Leave the overgrown cat. He’ll find a different pillow.”

Taiga sat up and growled, “Where ya taking her brat?”

Leo held up his hands that were suspiciously wet and free of all jewelry. “To the bath. The one I had her fill out a list for. Are you seriously saying you forgot that part?”

“Oh I already took a shower-”

“That isn’t a bath. Get your ass up and follow me.” He took her hand and pulled her up, dragging her towards her bathroom. “Go in there. There’s a robe from Romeo you can change into. Once you’re changed tap on the counter three times and I’ll come in.”

Her face turned red, “Excuse me?! You’re not planning to take a bath with me right?!”

Making a face he scoffed, “No. I’m not done setting it up but it’s better if you’re in there and ready to get in the tub. You really are lucky you know? You got that nice big garden tub and it doesn’t look like you’ve ever used it.”

“Can’t take that many baths when I’m as busy as I usually am.” She frowned and slipped into the bathroom. As the door shut she hanged the nice clean clothes she’d been wearing and stopped short, eyes on the full length gorgeous red bath robe. Running her fingers over it she felt the material and could tell it was way more expensive than it had any right to be. She made fast work of her undergarments and tucked them into the hamper, shoving it into the closet to deter any possible thefts. Not a chance was one of these guys leaving with any panties. After pulling the robe on she sighed happily at how wonderful it felt and tied it tight. Luna almost spoke out loud but remembered his words and tapped her knuckles on the counter three times.

Leo wasted no time coming in and shutting the door behind him. “Took you long enough.” He took in the image of her in the robe and clicked his tongue, “I told him not to give you red. It’s too bright of a color for you.” Rolling his eyes he went over to the already drawn bath. The water was nearly opaque with a soft lilac tint to the milky surface. He pointed to some bottles he lined up on the side of the tub, “Shampoo, let it sit in your hair after you wash it for at least five minutes or it’s a waste. Conditioner, rinse it out with cool water and leave just a little in your hair. This face wash has the instructions on it. That’s a scrub for your feet. And this body wash is meant for your level of oil. Yeah, I asked that weirdo at Mortkranken to tell me what your skin type was. You can keep these by the way. Anything you don’t want you can just toss.” He shrugged and added a handful of some bottled salt.

“Wow… that’s a lot… what’s in the water?” She peered at the steamy inviting bath.

“Lavender milk bath with exfoliants, this is some rose scented epsom salt to help your muscles relax, and then,” He took one last glass container and scattered a small handful of petals over the water, “Those are hibiscus petals. They help re energize you.”

“You really know your stuff huh?”

“Of course I do. How else do you think I look this flawless?” He smirked and stepped back, “Anyway don’t take longer than an hour in here. You don’t want to prune yourself. And who knows what everyone out there is getting up to with you not there to stop them?” Laughing he slipped out of the room.

“Hey! Wait a minute!”

“Oh my god what?” Leo dragged the words out with a groan.

“Put your headphones on. I don’t want you listening to me while I’m taking a bath.”

“Ugh, why would I do that?!”

“I’m serious!”

A different voice answered, “Don’t worry Senpai. I’ll make sure he’s behaving.”

“Thank you Sho!”

She sighed and put the robe to the side, slipping into the water with a moan. “Fuck… that’s nice.” Settling into the water she leaned her head back on the pillow he’d attached there. Relaxing in the bliss of her bath she closed her eyes for a while. Then a knock came, but not from the door, the wall beside her. Luna turned her head and fixed it with a worried look.

“Doll? Are you decent in there? I was wondering if now would be a good time for our chat?” His voice was muffled and sounded insanely nervous.

She smiled and leaned back again, “Yeah. You can come in. I’m assuming there’s a biwa in here because you and Haku planned this part?” She had noticed the ‘anomalous’ biwa in the corner but had assumed it was just for a later part of this pampering fest they were planning and they had wanted to hide it.

Zenji passed through the wall by the counter and averted his eyes, “Yes. I knew there would be a good time for it at some point. But Haku being the smart fellow he is found a way to ensure it.” Going to the biwa sat in the corner he knelt down and began to play it. “You can tell me at any time my dear.”

“Hmm, okay. Don’t mind me if my eyes are closed. This bath is just really nice…” She sighed softly, “Zenij. You haven’t done much to upset me if I’m honest. Though I will say that message you left me one night was terrifying. And I enjoy your company so much. Too much sometimes.” Her eyes opened as she gave him a sad look, “I wish you hadn’t died so, so much. I want to hug you and hold hands with you and brush your hair. You’re such a nice person.”

Leaning forward she rested her arms on the edge of the tub and watched him, “But you know a lot of things that I really want to know. About the clash, about whatever the hell was happening last year, about Jiro, about a lot of people because I’m sure you’ve been able to see a lot of things in this form that you wouldn’t have otherwise. But most of all, I just want you to trust me and open up to me. You get this look sometimes, like you’re debating whether or not to say something. And I just really want you to say it. Whatever’s bothering you or giving you a hard time, tell me. I want to be there for you too. Not just the ghouls who are alive.”

The biwa stopped for a moment as he tried to wipe his eyes. “I’m sorry dear… give me a second.” His glasses were skewed as he attempted to dry his tears.

Waiting for him to get himself together she watched the man with a sad smile.

“Thank you doll, you’re so kind. I really can’t thank you enough for being there for Jiro. And for Subaru and Haku as well. They all seem so much better with you around. And I would love nothing more than to be among the living again for those reasons and much more. But my time was cut short and there’s not anything to be done to change that.” His fingers moved slowly over the strings now, the tune a bit more sorrowful. “I truly wish I could tell you what I know about our previous year… but there’s nothing good to tell. It was… it was nothing short of awful. I don’t know if I could even get through a retelling of it. It holds so many of the deep scars we ghouls carry today. Some deeper than others. I’m sure one day we’ll be able to tell you. But now is not the time. Not when we’re here to help you relax and to take care you.”

Finishing the tune he stood and floated to her side, “I thank you for being so wonderful for us. Even those who seem undeserving and difficult have needed every bit of your light.” He reached out and tried to place a hand on her cheek, it passed through the skin and sent a shiver through her. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize,” She shifted her head so it looked like he was cupping her cheek. “See? It can still work.” Smiling at his soft laugh she held a hand up as if to hold his in place and a new chill went down her spine as it felt, well, corporeal. Her eyes darted to his equally wide ones. “Zenji?”

“What…” He ran his thumb back and forth across the apple of her cheek, “I can… I can feel that.”

“Oh my god… your hand is huge.” She giggled, “But so gentle…”

He shuddered, “Your hand is so soft and warm… I didn’t think I’d ever get to feel that again… darling you truly are the most incredible woman.” Slowly, so, so slowly he took his hand back and tried to hold hers. When he made contact he let out a shaky breath. “Amazing.”

Luna smiled and squeezed his hand, “There’s so many callouses. This is… this is honestly one of the best gifts I’ve gotten today.”

Zenji’s face flushed and he cleared his throat, “I should really let you get back to your relaxing bath. After all it’s still quite unsightly for a man to be in here while you’re… in this state of undress.”

“I wouldn’t mind if it was someone as well mannered as you Zenji.”

“Luna…” He bit his lip, “I really insist. But you shouldn’t worry. I’ll still be waiting for you outside.” Turning he phased through the door.

She sighed and leaned back again, “Dammit. These ghouls are going to be the death of me.” Holding a hand over her heart she sat back up to start the act of actually cleaning herself.

After the bath she pulled the beautiful robe back on and headed for the door. As she did a knock sounded, “Uh yes?”

“Are you decent?” It was a sharp voice, one used to barking orders.

“I have the robe on.”

No sooner had she said that had the door opened and Romeo stepped through with a small designer bag. He took in her appearance and placed the bag down, “Hmm… maybe I’ll order one in rose gold instead. It would suit you better.”

“Huh?” She stared at him as he took out several skin care products and tools for applying them. “Wait are you-”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He huffed and nearly shouted as the door opened again, “Who the he- are you serious?”

“Yeah, just scoot over Ro-ro.” Leo walked in and went to open the window and turned on the vent, “It’s a sauna in here. That’s no good for most of those creams you have.” Handing her a towel from Romeo’s bag he hummed, “Dry your face gently with this. Just pat it dry basically. God did you dry your hair off at all? You’re hopeless.” He sighed and found her a towel, then pointed at the closed toilet, “Sit here.”

Luna was swept into the whirlwind of Leo and Romeo, The first year drying her hair so tenderly as the third year continued setting up the routine they had clearly decided on for her. Each one so comfortable as they went about their own designated task. Leo focused on her hair, brushing it and using a hair mask Romeo handed to him. Romeo applying some cream to her face and rubbing it in with his own bare fingers. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen his bare hands before. He was insanely soft with his touch too.

Going through serums and creams and whatever else she couldn’t really keep up with it was like a full spa trip. And the best part was how beautiful both of the men doing this were. Leo was so much prettier when he was quiet and focused. His eyes gleaming as he made sure every inch of hair was clean from the hair mask so he could apply the last spray treatment. He had tiny dimples to the sides of his mouth, and his lips looked so soft and sleek, the way his long lashes brushed the top of his round cheeks made her heart flutter in time with his blinking.

And Romeo, god Romeo was such a good name for him. He was working with her face so closely she was able to see him in a new light. His striking foreign features, the curve of his nose, the well groomed eyebrows, the gorgeous gem colored eyes, the prominent angle of his jaw. Focused, unbothered, in one of his many elements, and looking so picture perfect she could just grab him and kis-

No. Luna behave. Not right now. Not another one… she was spiraling as she realized just how many of the ghouls she could see herself being involved with romantically. So very many… thinking about it… oh god it was all of them. Fuck… this couldn’t be happening right now. It wasn’t the time for a new dilemma. She barely had a grasp on any of the old dilemmas.

“Hey, earth to honor roll. You still alive in there or did your brain get steamed?” Leo snapped his fingers in front of her face, “We’re done- agh!”

She reached out and grabbed his shirt in a death grip, “Quiet. I’m thinking about something important and I can’t listen to your mouth right now.”

He was flustered as he pried her fingers off. “Don’t wrinkle my shirt over it!”

Romeo stood back appraising her with his gaze, “...Hmm. Good. I think getting that information from the PMS actually did help. Her skin wouldn’t take well to my usual routine after all. Or yours for that matter. I guess dermatology isn’t as useless as people say it is.”

“Anyway, you get her dressed. I’m going back out.” Leo smoothed his shirt and left.

“Did he say get me dressed?” Her eyes widened as she looked up at Romeo.

Seeing the look on her face he flushed slightly, “Don’t get any weird ideas you SP!”

“Oh no it’s a new one… Romeo please tell me what that one means…” She couldn’t stop herself from whining it.

“...Spoiled Princess.”

Luna blushed, “S-spoiled? And who’s fault is that?!”

“Shut up!” He opened the door a crack, “Bag!”

There were loud footfalls, stomping she realized as a pale hand came into view. “Don’t fucking talk to me like I’m one of your lackeys.”

Jin, she noted by his voice, handed the bag off and Romeo quickly opened it. Taking out a few pieces of clothing. Fairly small pieces… “Um… what is that?”

“Huh? Have you never seen what people wear for massages?”

“Oh that was… that was actually a thing and not just another dirty joke.”

He scoffed and tossed them at her. “Put those on and then the robe over it. We don’t want to have too many gawking virgins staring at you.”

She blushed again and caught the fabric. “Are you included in that?”

His head turned so fast she thought he snapped something in his neck, “Excuse you?! HDY think I’m one of those mouth breathing lowlifes!” Leaving the bathroom he shut the door far too loudly.

Luna counted that as a win for her, dressing quickly and then putting the robe on again she finally left the bathroom. What was waiting for her was a very different vibe than what she’d left.

There were a lot fewer bodies in the room now. Rui and Haku finishing the prep work for their impromptu massage parlor, Taiga and Ed, both lounging on either a couch or a chair, Subaru who was setting the now cleared table up with tea and sweets. And then Jiro who came back in through the front door with a small box in his hands and looked a bit surprised that she was already out of the bath. All the lights were either off or dimmed. Candles had been lit and placed around strategically. Her bed now had a mat laying over it with a soft cloth over that. Haku sat on the side of it, placing a few different bottles on her nightstand. He looked up and smiled, “Welcome back Princess. Hope you enjoyed your bath.”

“Yeah… uh where did everyone else go?” She walked towards the bed, noticing the incense burning that filled the room with a lovely fragrance she recalled picking on one of the lists. Seeing Jiro place the box over by the couch he found a seat and kept his eyes on her, which felt odd, it was like he was watching an experiment.

“Ah don’t worry,” It was Rui who spoke, “Most of them wanted to head to the chapel to put some distance between themselves. Some are washing dishes and cleaning up in the kitchen, and others needed to take a little walk to go to the restroom. And of course there’s a couple of ghouls on another smoke break.” He was currently checking a speaker he set up, getting the volume right as a soothing track played in the background.

She nodded, “It’s getting a little late so I guess I was just wondering if people needed to get to sleep.” Standing awkwardly beside her own bed she watched Haku roll his sleeves up and swallowed.

Subaru smiled, “Ah, well it’s still only about eight. Most of us can handle staying up past that.”

“You ready for your massage?” Haku smirked as he eyed her appreciatively.

“Oh uh… yeah.” Noting the pairs of eyes on her she slowly let the robe drop, leaving her in the tiny wrap around top and shorts so short they were practically underwear. And then Rui caught the robe with a wink as he hanged it over a coat rack. She knelt onto the mat and waited, “You want me on my front or?”

Haku’s voice dropped an octave, eyes going half lidded. “I want you plenty of ways Princess. But let’s start with that.”

She shivered and laid flat on her stomach, surprised as Haku moved her arms and legs to however he pleased. He shifted a pillow up for her head and situated her properly.

“Alright, relax, I’ll let you know before I touch you okay?”

“Mhm.” She closed her eyes but definitely didn’t miss the movement around the room or the opening and closing of doors as time passed.

Haku spent some time warming the oil between his hands before swinging a leg over and straddling her, making her feel much smaller than before. “I’m starting with your shoulders.” As soon as his hands made contact she trembled and shifted a bit under the firm pressure being rubbed into her muscles. “Hey… relax.” His voice was so close to her ear and it had a slight husky under tone.

Luna couldn’t hold back a moan as he worked out a knot in her shoulder blade. The sound of shuffling and a few intakes of breath were heard over the music. Of course they were watching. Some of these perverts were probably getting off on it. A devious thought entered her mind but she held off. No, let Haku give her this massage. She’ll have more time to rile them up later. Wait, later? God her thoughts were going straight to the gutter. What was wrong with her tonight?

He kept working down her back, and as he wrung out the muscles and the tense feelings she forgot all about holding back for her clearly captivated audience. Her sighs and grunts and moans filling the room as Haku’s hands molded her like putty. She heard someone hiss at another ghoul. It sounded like Romeo berating Taiga but she couldn’t be sure with how muddled her brain was. Was Haku working that out of her too?

A groan from her side sent her eyes flying open at the closeness. It was Subaru, eyeing her longingly as Haku massaged her upper arms. “Oh, sorry, I wasn’t trying to alarm you…” The captain’s voice was lower than usual, a bit strained as he held something out for his vice captain. “I was just bringing Haku something.”

She tried to speak but feeling the throb of stiff muscles loosening she whined and shut her eyes again.

A stifled growl was her only answer, did that noise really come from Subaru?

There were voices in the background chatting, but god she didn’t care as the ghoul above her made it to her waist and then her thighs. He was so good at this… why was he so good at this? Did all shinto priests learn this? Fuck, his hands were so firm and slightly rough from callouses. The long fingers helping him dig deeper into the tissues and sinew that was still tight from all her errand running.

“Oh this was a bad idea after all.” Haku took in a shaky breath.

“Hm?” Luna whined softly.

“The sounds you’re making Princess…” He leaned in and spoke against the shell of her ear, his breath sending goosebumps down her arms. “You’re getting all of them so hot and bothered. Already seen one of those second years run to the bathroom. Poor guy looked like a tomato.”

“Keep talking…” She breathed out the words, “What’s happening…?”

He smirked and moved his hands back up to her arms so he could keep up the charade of massaging her. “Mm, Taiga is eye fucking you right now.” He reveled in the gasp she let out, “Romeo is trying to keep him in check but he’s ready to pounce on you the second I move away. Jin isn’t doing much better than Taiga. If it weren’t for Tohma he’d have already knocked me off and taken you for himself. You’d think Haru would be the behaved one but he’s fidgeting so much right now.”

She sighed, “Unngh. Fuck…” His voice was a wicked melody in her head, driving her further into the deep need that was threatening to make itself well known.

“Subaru’s gonna break. He wants you so bad. He needs permission before he can touch and it’s driving him insane. Rui wishes he could do anything right now. Even if it’s taking his cock out just to relieve some pressure. If you called anybody’s name right now they might just cream their pants. That’s how much power you have over us Princess.”

“What about you… Haku.” His name came out in a shudder of air.

He inhaled sharply, “Fuck… I’m not done with your massage yet you greedy girl. But if we didn’t have an audience like this I would have already pinned you and had you screaming my name for the rest of the night.”

“Nnn, follow through on your stupid empty promises.” The sentence was strained but she heard a chair scrape the floor.

He paused, his head spinning at what she’d said, hands on either side of her, gripping the sheet like a life line. “You don’t mean that… you can’t mean that.” Sitting back he looked around the room again. “Ah… seems like a certain someone heard you.”

Leo hissed as he stood, “Oh absolutely fucking not! I’m not sitting here in the 19th cuck chair for this. You guys can do whatever you want but I don’t want any p- wah!”

Luna sat up to see what had happened, and her eyes widened, Sho had gripped Leo’s hair and pulled him back down. His other hand grabbing the front of Leo’s pants as he tugged him into his lap to face him. Sho grunted, “Shut up. I’m not letting you fuck this up for us.” His voice was low and it definitely scratched something nice in her brain to hear it like that.

The smaller man whined and tried to shift away, “Get your paws off my dick you dirty bastard.” He glared at Sho, gold meeting deep blue.

“Oh like you don’t beg for it most nights.” Sho pulled him forward and delivered a harsh bite to Leo’s ear, causing him to go limp in his arms with a deliciously strained whimper.

She bit her lip, surveying the absolutely wrecked ghouls staring at her, some had turned their attention to Sho and Leo but she couldn’t blame them. It was insanely hot watching Sho handle the demon like he was nothing but hot air.

Alan cleared his throat and leaned in to say something to the two. And as soon as he did Leo tilted his head and grabbed Alan, tugging his face close enough to land a rough kiss. There was instant panic in those gray eyes, that freeze response causing him not to pull away very fast. If you watched closely you could see the flick of Leo’s tongue on Alan’s now shiny bottom lip.

Their captain turned to march into the other room, far away from his two troublesome first years as Leo licked his lips and started mouthing at Sho’s neck. But Sho reached back and grabbed Alan’s wrist, his grip like steel to keep him from leaving. It felt like that deep tone from before resonated in her blood as he exhaled shakily, “Fucking look at her...”

Alan did as he was told, flushed and trying his best to avoid looking as desperate as the rest of them. Sho didn’t hide it, his eyes were focused on her despite his other hand squeezing Leo’s ass like a stress ball. The other first year looked over his shoulder at her, eyes molten gold as he licked his lips again, hips rutting forward subconsciously. It drew a hiss from Sho and he squeezed harder, causing a feedback loop of the two dry humping on one of her chairs.

Haru was indeed still fidgeting but he had a death grip on Towa’s arm, the vice captain staring into her soul like if he looked away he’d die. Ren was held by Haru’s other hand, he was red to his ears and looking anywhere but her. Except it was obvious that he was stealing glances every so often. It was easy to see the outlines in their pants with how they were sat. All of Jabberwock was quiet as a mouse and still as stone.

Jin was going to bite a hole in his bottom lip, but unlike Tohma he had no decency to hide the raging hard on in his pants. Tohma’s eyes couldn’t be taken away from her form, his legs arranged to discreetly hide the effect she had on him. Luca was standing by the bathroom, face flushed and arms crossed as he tried to not look as affected as his friend. Speaking of, Kaito had only recently re emerged from the bathroom if his sweaty face was anything to go by. But he was a deer in headlights watching her, pulling his hoodie down over his crotch to cover his pants.

Ed was absolutely lounging on his chosen chair, but his eyes were promising so many things he could do to her. True to Haku’s words Rui was posted up by the wall, looking like he wanted to throw himself into a fire to quell his own desires. Lyca, oh poor Lyca was so red, his fingers white knuckle gripped on his own pants, a prominent tent there.

If Taiga had been eye fucking her then Subaru was eye worshiping her, eye vivisecting her, eye immolating her. It felt as if he could see to her bone marrow the way he was devouring her with his gaze. It felt both reverent and diabolic all at once. Haku was still behind her, sounding as bad off as the others looked, his hands straining to stay off her warm skin. Zenji was in a corner, doing his best to look respectful but there was heat in his eyes. Something that made her clench just from making eye contact with him.

And Taiga, fuck that was definitely way past eye fucking. He looked ready to leap over the couch to get at her. Oh this was dangerous. Even Romeo was giving her a half lidded stare, like he was reviewing some fine art in a gallery that he wanted to take home. Ritsu was looking so uncomfortable, similar to Lyca in the way his fists were clenched, but those damn beautiful eyes couldn’t be torn away from her body if they tried. She vaguely hoped his recorder wasn’t on the whole time, but the fuzzy feeling in her head prayed that it was and that it would stay that way.

Jiro appeared mostly unaffected, but the way he crossed his legs was giving it away, paired with the slight flush to his cheeks, parted lips and clouded eyes. That was an ego boost, getting someone like him this worked up without touching him even once? And Yuri was so red. God how could anyone reach that shade of red? His eyes were wide and he looked so out of place, almost more uncomfortable than Ritsu at this point. But he also seemed to be studying her.

Luna shivered, realizing all at once how under dressed she was, how oiled up her body was, and how her nipples were definitely hard enough to show through the tiny wrap around top. She inhaled sharply, “Uh… so… if I were to… maybe say I’m interested in hearing whatever you guys are thinking about… what would you say?” The groans from around the room were enough answer for her, “Alright. There’s going to be some ground rules. So listen closely.”

[birdiewritessometimes]

Tutor

A/N: Soft hours ;-; this goes out to all my academic over achievers out there, girl me too. One beautiful anon who requested soft Matt or soft Theo got me thinking about this! Also please don’t skip meals, food is fuel <3

Also, also, I’ve heard your demands, and I have added a summary!

This has been a struggle tbh, I love it but I’m also not happy with it. Oh well, I hope you guys enjoy it <3

Summary: As Professor Flitwick assign you to tutor Theodore Nott in charms you two develop a strange friendship that brings a new set of friends into your life. Theodore helps you see that there might be more to life than just studying in the library every day.

Pairing: Theodore Nott x Ravenclaw!reader

Themes/warnings: Reader is overworking herself, skipping meals, self-doubt, sleep-troubles, cursing, fluff, found family, clichés (but oh what I love them), kissing, Italian pet names (Italians, I’ve tried to do some research, and I hope I didn’t butcher them, please let me know if I did though!), is this qualified as a slow burn?,  mentions of a dead parent.

Word count: 10 000-ish

Please do not copy or translate my work!

“But Professor, please. I really need to focus on my own work.” You pleaded with your charms professor and your head of house, Professor Flitwick. He was a short, clever man. You really liked him; he was a good teacher and a good head of house. Which is why you were feeling slightly guilty for pleading with him not to assign you to be a tutor.

“I’m sorry Miss l/n, I’m afraid you’re the best one for the job. Mr. Nott really needs an outstanding in his OWL in charms. Professor Snape asked me to help make it happen, and I have no doubt you are more than capable.” Flitwick said, an encouraging smile on his face. You felt your shoulders sag in defeat.

“Are you sure you can’t ask anybody else?” You asked, your last simmer of hope to be able to study undisturbed faded as you saw your professors head shake no.

“Alright, I’ll do it.” You said in defeat. Professor Flitwick smiled up at you from his seat behind his wooden desk.

“Excellent Miss l/n!” He said as he clapped his hands together. He paused when he saw your defeated expression, “Oh, Miss l/n, please try to see this as a learning opportunity, maybe young Mr. Nott could teach you something too.” He added, a sympathetic smile on his face as he surveyed your defeated form.

“Okay, I will.” You said, trying to brighten your own voice, “I’ll see you later, Professor.” You added while giving him a small smile before turning around to leave his office. Professor Flitwick’s office led out into the charms classroom that resided on the third floor, in the charms corridor. The classroom was dimly lit, the afternoon sun casting a golden glow on the wooden floor in the middle of the classroom. The benches were empty except for one where a tall boy sat. His legs were sprawled out in front of him, effectively making the chair look small beneath him. He was fidgeting with the ring that sat on his index finger. His head shot up when he heard your footsteps echo on the wooden floorboards.

“I’ll tutor you every Tuesday and Thursday, four o’clock in the library, don’t be late.” You said after you stopped right in front of the desk he was sitting in. He was looking up at you with his steely blue eyes, a tired expression in his eyes. He gave you a short nod as he stopped fidgeting with his ring.

“Good, I’ll, uh, see you then.” You said, giving what you thought was a friendly smile. The least you could do was to at least try to be friendly, it wasn’t his fault that you were in this situation. Come to second thought, it kind of was, but you can’t blame the guy for being stupid.

“Right, see you.” He said after he cleared his throat. His voice was deep and rich. You noticed that he didn’t have a British accent like most students in the school. You couldn’t quite place your finger on what accent it was though. But it added to the smoothness of his voice making you wonder why he didn’t speak more often. You gave him another small smile before turning around to head to the library.

The library was quiet when you entered, some students were scattered around the room. The smell of old books and burning fires hit your nose as you walked towards your usual space. It was in the corner, near one of the fires making it the perfect spot for studying, away from the cold draft that usually swept through the castle regardless of season. You spent most of your free time studying, finding yourself lost in books and books about different magical topics. You did this mostly because your dream was to one day become an unspeakable. The Department of Mysteries intrigued you but the way there meant top grades and hard work. And that’s just what you did, worked hard and got top grades. But that also meant that you had to spend your free time in the library, studying.

You sat down in one of the cushioned chairs around the table, gently placing your Ravenclaw robe on the seat next to you along with your bag. You pulled out the ancient runes-book. The worn leather rough against your fingers as you placed it on the table along with your quill, inkpot and some parchment. You opened the book at the bookmark and got to work. For hours you poured over the runes, their translations and writing down their meanings. The only thing that reminded you of the time was your back being stiff and your butt numb. Taking a glance at your watch you noticed that it was almost time for curfew. With a yawn you stood up. You quickly packed your things, grabbed your robe and hurried through the castle and up to Ravenclaw tower. After you got ready for bed, you fell asleep the second your head hit your pillow, sleeping through yet another restless night.

The next day you awoke feeling tired. It was a Tuesday which meant tutoring with Theodore after your last lesson of the day. Noticing the time, and that breakfast was soon to be over, you hurriedly got ready. You added light makeup to hide the dark circles that was accumulating under your eyes from another night where it felt like you didn’t sleep. Collecting your books for the day you dashed out of your dorm and hurried to the great hall. When you entered you found your seat next to the girls you share your dorm with. They were by no means your friends, but you could eat and make small talk with them, which was good enough for you. When you had quickly eaten a piece of toast you once again dashed away towards your classes for the day. The lessons went by quickly, like usual. Before you knew it lunchtime came. You actually had time to eat your meal calmly before you headed to your last two lessons for the day. These lessons went by as quickly as the ones in the morning did. Maybe it was because you had revised the material beforehand, or maybe time just went by quicker when you learned something.

It was a quarter to four when you walked into the familiar air of old books and warm fires of the library. You took your usual seat by the fire, placed your robes and bag on the chair next to you before picking up your copy of the Standard Book of Spells, grade 5, the large book heavy in your hands as you placed it on the table with a thud. You gently flickered through it as you waited for Theodore to show up. You refreshed your memory for some of the spells as you looked through the book. After around five minutes you heard low footsteps come nearer your spot by the warm fire, away from the chilly autumn breeze that seemed to drift through the castle. Looking up you saw Theodore approaching your table. His hair was its usual floppy self. He had rid himself of his Slytherin cloak, the material hanging over his forearm. He had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt as well as loosened his tie and leaving the top button unbuttoned. You kept looking him over until he stood beside you, looking down at you.

“Hi.” You said softly as you gestured for him to sit. He gave you a nod of acknowledgement before placing his bag and cloak on a chair around the table before sitting down in the seat next to yours. You let him take his time packing up, he was early after all.

“So, is there anything in particular you want to start with?” You asked cautiously when he had placed his copy of the textbook on the table, along with a notebook, a quill and an inkpot.

“I’ve had problems with the locomotion charm.” He shrugged nonchalantly. So, he was not a talkative person, that’s fine, you thought. You were surprised by his honesty, though you by no means had an opinion on the boy beside you, you knew he was friends with a group of troublemaking boys. You had assumed he would wave it all off or say that he didn’t need your help, so when he admitted, although with some air of nonchalance, what he was struggling with it surprised you.

“Okay,” you nodded, “how about we start with that one and then revise the others?” You suggested as you flipped through the worn book to the page of the locomotion charm. You saw how Theodore nodded in agreement with your suggestion. You went over the basic theory of the charm, explaining things such as wand movement and what the spell was useful for. It took you around five minutes before you zipped closed your pencase, plopping it down before the tall, brooding boy next to you.

“Alright, enough chitchat, show me what you’ve got.” You said with what you hoped was an encouraging smile. Not that he was looking at you, he was busy sending an icy glare at your pink fuzzy pencase. He was looking like he was personally offended by its presence. You flicked your hair over your shoulder as you turned in your seat to face him.

“Okay, so what crimes has my pencase committed against you?” You asked, a playful note in your voice as you studied him. This seemed to pull him out of his staring match with the pencase as he raised an eyebrow at you in a silent question.

“Don’t look at me, it was you who was having a staring competition with an inanimate object.” You shrugged, a small giggle escaping you. You saw how he cracked the smallest of smiles at your comment. You had to admit that his smile was cute, really cute actually.

“Alright, come on, show me.” You nodded at your pencase again and his small smile fell. With a sigh he picked up his wand from the table. He cleared his throat as he pointed his wand at the fuzzy pencase in front of him.

“Locomoto pencase.” He said, his voice smoot and deep. He did the upwards motion with his wand, but nothing happened. You noticed right after he had said the incantation that he has mispronounced it. He let out a sigh of frustration as he looked away from you, embarrassed. You felt some sympathy for him as you placed a gentle hand on his arm, effectively making him look at you.

“Hey, you did good. You just didn’t pronounce the incantation correctly,” You said softly, a kind smile on your face, “it’s locomotor with an r.” You explained.

“Alright, let me try again.” He muttered, surprising you with his words. You nodded encouragingly, letting him try again. This time the pencase hovered for a while before falling down on the table in front of him with a low thud.

“See! Try concentrating more next time.” You said, excitement in your voice. Theodore flashed you that small smile again, making you feel warm inside, before trying the spell for the third time. He made the pencase move around the table for a while before it fell with a thud again.

“Good job Theodore!” You cheered him on, “how about some theory?” You suggested, to which he nodded. He placed his wand on the table, scooting back in his chair, sprawling his legs out as he picked up the leatherbound textbook in his large hands, effectively making it look weirdly small. Your eyes travelled up to his face and saw that he was already looking at you, an expectant look in his eyes. You quickly looked away from him as you cleared your throat. You felt a blush dust your cheeks when you heard a faint chuckle from the boy next to you. Straightening in your chair you started to explain some more in-depth theory. Time went on rather quickly as you quizzed Theodore on some things and asked him to explain some others back to you. He was improving quickly, making you feel somewhat proud of him. In the last moments before it was time for dinner, he practiced the charm once more on your pencase. This time the pencase zoomed up and down from the table, making it do flips and other tricks around the table before he stopped it right in front of you. The pencase fell on top of your book with a muted thud.

“Good job Theodore! Look at you!” You said, not being able to contain your enthusiasm. He let out a shy sort of chuckle at that as he averted his eyes from you.

“Thanks for helping me.” He mumbled, still looking away. His words stunned you as you turned your head to really look at him. He didn’t seem like his usual stoic, broody self. He seemed more embarrassed and defeated now, making the sympathy you had for him earlier to come back.

“Hey,” you said softy, placing your hand on his arm effectively making him look at you once again, “we all need a little bit of help from time to time, it’s nothing to worry about.” He looked at you, an unreadable look in his usually tired eyes. The background faded as your heartbeat sped up, making you feel warm inside.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, not tearing his eyes from yours. The air around you shifted as you looked into each other’s eyes, making your heartbeat race even more. The air around you became almost palpable as you sat there together.

“You’re welcome.” You breathed out. Your eye-contact broke when there was a loud thud from someone dropping a book somewhere in the library. Coming back to reality you straightened up as Theodore cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I’ll, uh, see you Thursday?” He said as he hurriedly put his things in his bag. You nodded at him.

“Yeah, see you Thursday.” You mumbled, giving him a small smile before he walked off to dinner. You slowly packed your things away in your bag before you made your way to the great hall for dinner as well. On your walk there he was on your mind. You wondered why he was so cold and quiet. Your mind drifted to his deep, smooth voice as you thought back to the tutoring session. And how he had beautiful eyes, cold, blue and tired, yet they intrigued you. Like he was pulling you into him. You were lost in thought when you arrived at the big oak doors that led to the great hall. You absentmindedly walked in and sat down at the long wooden table, next to the girls in your dormitory. You plated some beef stew and potatoes on the porcelain plate in front of you.

As you ate your eyes drifted over the great hall, scanning the groups of students who were chatting to each other excitedly. Your eyes soon drifted over the Slytherin table. The table was filled with students, some were chatting, others reading or just minding their own business. Your eyes then met the steely blue ones that belonged to Theodore. He caught you off guard, but you couldn’t seem to look away from him either. You sat there looking at each other for a moment, the background once again fading, before he looked away first, laughing at something his friends said. You turned back to your food, eating as you thought about him.

He remained in your thoughts during the next day. You found yourself thinking about him when you were eating your meals, when you were walking to classes, and you even found your thoughts drifting to him when you were studying. You were wondering things about him that you have never cared about before with others. Like where he grew up? Did he have any siblings? What was his parents like? While you found yourself thinking more about him you started to notice him more around the castle too, noticing him in classes or that your paths crossed on your way to different lessons.

The day had passed quickly, now with your thoughts occupied by both Theodore and school. You had just finished dinner and were on your way towards the library to get in some more studying before bed. When you entered the entrance hall you heard rowdy voices from a group of boys and when you lifted your gaze you saw the Slytherin quidditch team. You assumed they were heading to the quidditch pitch to practice since they were walking towards the great doors. A shiver ran down your spine at the thought of being outside right now. The rain was whipping against the windows of the castle as the winds were harsh. Your eyes fell on Theodore who were walking next to his friend, Mattheo Riddle. You never thought you would find a quidditch player attractive but by judging from the leap your heart did when you saw him in his uniform you found yourself proven wrong.

Pictures of Theodore in his emerald green quidditch robes, his broom propped up on his shoulder, flooded your brain as you walked to the library. None of the boys had noticed you when they had stridden across the entrance hall and out into the stormy weather. Opening the doors to the library you were immediately enveloped in a warm hug of burning fires and old books. You slowly made your way to your usual seat in the far back corner. The wooden chair scraped against the floor as you took your seat on the cushioned seat. You pulled out the leather-bound transfiguration book, opting to read up on the topic Professor McGonagall discussed during the transfiguration lesson you had earlier during the day. The rain was smattering against the window next to the fireplace, the sound mingling with the cracks and pops of the burning wood in the fire making you relax as you settled in your seat to study the whole evening. You worked long into the hours of the evening, your numb butt once again reminding you of curfew, making you hastily pack up your books and other materials before making your way to bed.

Thursday went by quickly, lessons flying by in a haste and before you knew it you were seated in the library, a quarter to four in the afternoon, flipping through the Standard Book of Spells, grade 5 again. It was a particularly cold day today, making you wear your Ravenclaw sweater over your button up to shield yourself from the cold mid-November air. The fire next to your table seemed to nothing to keep the chill at bay. You sent a glare at it as you shivered once more, trying to urge it to make the room hotter, or else.

“Look who’s now having a staring contest with an inanimate object.” The deep voice of Theodore pulled you out of your thoughts about threatening a fire, you really needed a good night’s sleep. You looked to the side of you and saw how Theodore plopped down in his chair, his fluffy hair flopping on his forehead in the process. He was wearing his Slytherin uniform in his usual dishevelled way, his robes draped over his arm once again.

“What did that fire do to you, huh?” He asked, a small smirk on his lips when he turned back to look at you, the Standard Book of Spells in his hands.

“It didn’t keep me warm.” You said, your teeth clattering slightly as you spoke. You were rubbing your arms with your hands, trying to warm yourself with the friction. Theodore let out a huff-like chuckle.

“Come on y/n, it’s not that cold.” He said, the smirk slightly wider now, making you smile lightly at him. It seemed like he was more comfortable around you this time, already talking more than he did the last time you met.

“It is, but that’s no- hey!” You let out when he stood up and before you knew it, he had grabbed his robes that he had hung over the back of one of the chairs around the table and draped it over your shoulders. His action stunned you as he pulled the material tighter around your shoulders, fixing it.

“Where did you put your own robes?” He muttered as he sat down in his seat again, looking at you expectantly for an answer. Coming back from your momentary chock you looked at him, sure a blush was on your cheeks.

“I forgot them in my dorm.” You mumbled, now feeling the heat of the blush on your cheeks. Your fingers moved to clutch the woolly fabric of his winter robes, subconsciously pulling it closer around you as his cologne hit your nose. It smelled fresh, like freshly laundered clothes but it had a hint of citrus and the obvious cigarette smell that lingered on the garment. The smell was surprisingly comforting as it surrounded you like a hug. Theodore let out a chuckle at your answer to his question.

“So, what are we doing today, teach?” He then asked, a tone on nonchalance in his voice as he turned back to face straight forward. The nickname made you smile, it made you grateful that he was trying to be friendly too.

“I was thinking that we really perfect the locomotion charm, you know so it really sticks.” You suggested. Theodore nodded as he picked up his wand. He was more eager today than he was last Tuesday, it made you smile as you zipped up your pencase again and plopped it on the table before him. He cleared his throat before performing the spell. You sat next to him as you looked on as he made your pencase move around on the table. It seemed like he lost concentration once because he dropped the pencase. But you encouraged him to go again, and he did. After he was done making your pencase perform circus tricks on the table he tried the charm on something heavier, your stack of schoolbooks that you had placed on the table for later. He had no problem making them move around at his will as he performed the charm.

Tutoring Theodore was easier than you thought, he seemed to have no problem learning and perfecting the spells when you were working on them together. He took his time and perfected the locomotion charm just as you had suggested, even going so far as to answer every question you asked him about it correctly. You felt proud of him when your tutoring session came to an end.

“Really good job Theodore!” You beamed at him, the feelings of happiness and pride taking over you. He smiled shyly as he thanked you, not being used to the praise that you were giving him. You might have been seeing things, but you were sure you saw a faint blush on the boy’s cheeks from your complement. As it was time for dinner he stood up and slowly packed away his things.

“Oh, right, thank you for letting me borrow your robes, Theodore.” You smiled as you started to shrug of the garment that had been keeping you warm the two hours you had been working together. He shook his head at you, making you pause.

“You can keep it for tonight if you want, I have a couple of others.” He said, stuffing his hands into his pants pockets and looked down at his feet. You felt a blush creep up on your face again.

“Are you sure? Aren’t you going to be cold?” You asked shyly making him look at you, that small smirk on his face again.

“Nah, I’m good, you look like you need it more.” He said, his tone considerably lighter than before.

“I’ll give it back to you tomorrow?” You suggested to which he shrugged his shoulders somewhat nonchalantly.

“That’s fine, honestly it’s no stress.” He said as he hoisted his bag on his shoulder.

“Thank you, Theodore.” You smiled at him gratefully as you pulled his cloak tighter around your body again.

“It’s fine, bella.” He said casually, but as he said the nickname it clicked in your head.

“You’re Italian?” You blurted out as he was about to turn around to leave. He raised an eyebrow at you, the smirk back on his face again.

“I am, why?” He asked, somewhat amused by your outburst. You started to feel stupid by your actions, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“I, uh, have been trying to figure out where your accent’s form…” You trailed off, feeling more stupid by the second. He let out a chuckle at this.

“My mum was Italian; I moved here when I was 10.” He explained but your mind got stuck on ‘was’. His mum was Italian, not is. He had lost his mum. The thought weighed on your mind as you looked up at him as he stood beside your chair. You weren’t sure on what to say to this. You saw how his smirk had dropped slightly when he had mentioned his mum as well, it was obviously a painful topic for him.

“Oh, I’m sorry Theodore.” You said softly, feeling heartbroken for him. He gave you a half-hearted smile.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago.” He shrugged, trying to come off as nonchalant. You gave him a weak smile, still feeling very sorry for him. He gave you a half smile back before clearing his throat.

“Well, I got to go to dinner,” He said, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, “see you, bella.” He said, his small smirk back on his face again, making you smile back at him.

“See you, Theodore.” You said softly before he turned around and walked towards the exit of the library. You looked after him until he was out of your line of sight before you reluctantly turned back to your books, picking up your textbook on the goblin rebellions. You had an essay due next week and decided now would be a good time to start writing it. Once again you worked into the long hours of the evening before you decided that enough was enough and made your way to Ravenclaw tower. Theodores cloak was heavy and warm against your shoulders as you walked through the corridors and up the staircases that lead to Ravenclaw tower. When you arrived at your dorm you folded the cloak neatly before getting ready for bed.

When you awoke Friday morning you were surprised that you felt rested for the first time in a long time. You felt like your mood were better than normal, the usual stress you felt now better. You got ready, collected your books for the day and grabbed Theodores robes before you went down to breakfast, assuming you would see him there, but you were wrong. No big deal, he maybe overslept, and you were just handing him his robes back, you could do that at any time. Throughout the day you looked for Theodore in the crowds, classes and during the meals. It was now dinnertime, and you hadn’t seen him all day. As you walked towards the library after dinner, you decided to actually go to the quidditch match to give him back his robes tomorrow. It was the first game of the season, Slytherin against Hufflepuff and you knew Theodore was on the Slytherin quidditch team alongside his friends.

After another long night of studying you awoke Saturday morning, feeling tired once more. You dragged yourself out of your warm bed, feeling shivers go through your body as your feet hit the cold floor. You made your bed, making sure the royal blue cover laid neatly over your bed before you tied back the blue curtains with the bronze cords. You looked out of the window to see the weather, it looked like a crisp day, the grounds were covered in glittering white frost, but no snow to be seen and the sky was clear. If you had to guess this had to be optimal quidditch conditions. You picked out a warm, comfortable outfit, bringing a warm jacket, mittens and earmuffs to keep warm in the high quidditch stands. Topping it all off with your Ravenclaw scarf. When you arrived at breakfast most of the students had left, probably to get warmer clothes for the match. You ate a piece of toast and had a cup of warm coco before you started to make your way to the stands. You were right, it was very cold out, you were thanking yourself for brining such warm clothing as the icy winds swept through the high stands where you were standing along the rest of your house.

You were standing next to the girls with whom you shared your dorm, Theodore’s robes neatly folded in your mitten clad hands. You made small talk with them as you waited for the match to start. The spectators erupted in cheers (and boos) as the two teams made their way onto the pitch. The seventh year Slytherin captain shook hands with Hufflepuffs captain Cedric Diggory, a handsome sixth year. You saw how both teams mounted their brooms as your eyes scanned the Slytherin team for Theodore. You found him just as they kicked off, he was soaring towards the Slytherin goal posts. He was a keeper. You heard Madam Hootch’s whistle signalling that the game had begun but your eyes were on him the entire game. He was unbelievable. He caught almost every ball, only letting in one or two goals, you weren’t counting. You couldn’t help but think about how good he looked in his green quidditch robes, hair windswept and his usually tired eyes determined. The Slytherin team were making goal after goal and they were leading by so much that, after about two hours, when Cedric had caught the snitch Slytherin still won by sixty points.

You saw how the Slytherin team were cheering on Theodore and Blaise, one of the chasers that did the most goals, when you started to make your way down to the pitch along with the rest of the spectators. You slowly made your way onto the pitch, feeling out of your element and uncertain what to do you decided to stand slightly to the side to let the boys celebrate together. You were standing next to a Slytherin girl in your year, Pansy Parkinson as the two of you waited for the boys to calm down.

“Who’s your boyfriend?” She asked with the same air of nonchalance that most Slytherins seemed to have as she looked at the group. You knew who her boyfriend was, Draco Malfoy, the seeker on the team.

“Oh, I, uh, no-”

“Bella!” Theodore interrupted you as he jogged up to you a surprised but happy look on his face. You felt your face break out in a smile as you saw him running towards you. But before you could say or do anything he had reached you, thrown his arms around you and picked you up, spinning you around. You let out a squeal in surprise quickly letting one of your arms snake around the tall boy’s neck so you wouldn’t fall, you other hand holding the reason you came to the match in the first place, his cloak.

“What are you doing here?” He asked you as he put you down, a broad smile on his face as he looked down at you. You were sure you were blushing from his hug, but you decided to let it go, emotions were just running high after the match. He would have hugged anyone like that, you thought.

“I came to congratulate you on your good match,” You said, and you saw how his smile became even wider in happiness, it made you smile too, “and to give you this back, since I didn’t find you yesterday.” You said softly as you handed him the thick fabric of his cloak. He took it in one of his large hands, the other, you just noticed, was still resting on your waist. If you weren’t blushing from before you had to be now, hopefully you could blame the wind. Just as he was about to say something he was interrupted by his best friend and one of the beaters, Mattheo.

“Oi, Theo, who are you hiding there?” You could hear the teasing note in the voice. Theodore was giving you an apologetic look before he gave you a gentle squeeze on the waist before letting go just as Mattheo, Lorenzo, the other beater, and Blaise joined you. They were looking at the two of you with great interest making you chuckle in embarrassment.

“Uh, hi, I’m y/n, I tutor Theodore.” You said while giving a wave at the boys, to break the weird silence that had fallen upon the group.

“Teach?” They all exclaimed, making you smile and raise an eyebrow in a silent question at Theodore who suddenly seemed to find the sky extremely interesting.

“We call you teach because Theo refused to tell us who you were.” Lorenzo explained.

“Yeah, he thought we were going to hassle you or something.” Mattheo playfully scoffed, making you let out a giggle.

“Yeah, because that’s not something you would do.” You said, a smile on your face.

“Exactly, we would- hang on, you’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?” Mattheo said, his eyes narrowed in a joking manner. You feigned a look of innocence.

“What? No of course not, I would never.” You let out, your voice dripping with fake innocence. Lorenzo, Blaise and Theodore chuckled as you batted your eyelashes jokingly at Mattheo.

“You know what, I like you,” Mattheo turned to Theodore, “I like her, why didn’t you introduce us right away, she can obviously handle some hassling.” He said, a smirk on his face making you laugh. Theodore shook his head in feign annoyance.

“Yeah, yeah whatever Mattheo.” Theodore muttered as he rolled his eyes before turning to you, “we have to go change, maybe I’ll see you later?” He asked, completely ignoring his friends who were now dramatically reenacting people kissing and batting their eyelashes at each other. You let out a chuckle at the groups antics before looking up at Theodore.

“That’s fine, I have to go study anyways.” You said smiling up at him. You missed the flash of disappointment in his eyes.

“Good job again with the match,” You smiled softly up at him before turning to his friends who abruptly stopped their antics, “It was nice meeting you guys, great match.” You smiled as you gave a small wave before turning around to trek up to the castle again. The boys shouted their various goodbyes at you making you turn around to smile and wave again at them. It was like something had shifted between you and Theodore after the quidditch match. Theodore became friendlier with you, he would even make you walk with him and his friends to the classes you shared. Sometimes if you had time after your tutoring sessions, you would join the Slytherin table for dinner, you now had a permanent spot among the group in between Lorenzo and Theodore, across from Mattheo. You found yourself growing fond of the others too, you would bicker with Mattheo like you were siblings, tease Theodore with Blaise and gossip with Lorenzo.

You became happier, more alive as you befriended the boys. You still spent most of your free time in the library studying, but you found yourself joining them for meals more often than not. You still had problems with sleep, sometimes feeling like you haven’t slept for weeks. Days would blur and before you knew it, it was mid-December, and the grounds were covered by a thick blanket of snow. You were sitting in the library under a thick sweater to keep you warm as you waited for Theodore to show up for your session. You had propped up the Standard Book of Spells, grade 5, on your pencase as you refreshed your memory on Descendo. You felt yourself lay your head in your arms on the table. Last night had been a particularly rough night where you had been sleeping so restlessly that you felt more tired after you woke up than you did the night before. You were just going to close your eyes until Theodore came.

“Bella, wake up.” A soft voice said, though it sounded as it came through cotton.

“Please, bella, it’s time for dinner.” The voice said again, slightly less muffled this time. The voice was wrong though, it couldn’t be time for dinner now, Theodore hadn’t shown up for his session yet. You felt a warm hand on your back, shaking you gently. You slowly opened your eyes and saw none other than Theodore. You were confused at first, not knowing where you were and what time it was before it dawned on you. You were in the library; Theodore was sitting beside you saying it was time for dinner. You shot up.

“I’m so sorry Theodore!” You burst out, the feelings of guilt and anxiety washed over you like a bucket of cold water. He gave you a soft smile. It was one of those smiles you rarely got to see, but it made your day better every time you did see it.

“Shhh, it’s okay, bella, you were so tired, you needed the rest.” He said lowly making you frown slightly.

“It isn’t okay, Theodore, we were supposed to work on Descendo today.” You said, panic still evident in your voice.

“Y/n!” He cut off your spiralling, “I’ve practiced, look,” he did the charm perfectly on your pencase, “I might’ve looked at your book to see what you were reading up on. Oh! And I might have looked at your notes too.” He said sheepishly. Your face turned into an impressed expression as you looked at the boy beside you.

“Wow, Theo, you did really good.” You praised him, making him grin at you.

“Thanks.” He said softly before he started to gather his things. When he noticed that you still sat there, the tiredness washing over you in another wave, he closed your book and started to gather your things as well. You looked at him with curiosity in your tired eyes.

“Come on, bella, let’s get you dinner and then to bed.” He muttered softly as he closed your bag shut and hitched it on his shoulder before reaching out an inviting hand to you.

“I’m fine Theodore, you don’t have to take care of me.” You mumbled, the guilt making a reappearance in your chest. He smiled slightly as he grabbed your arm and, rather roughly, pulled you out of your seat, making you face him. His hand slowly travelled down from your upper arm and grasped onto your wrist, engulfing the upper part of your hand in the process. His action made your heart flutter and your breath hitch in your throat. He was looking at you with puppy dog eyes, the smile still on his face. His free hand found its place on your jaw, gently stroking your cheek.

“If I don’t do it, who will, hm?” He asked softly as his thumb continued to stroke your now hot cheek. You averted your eyes from his blue ones, suddenly finding the table beside you very interesting.

“I really need to study, Theo.” You mumbled as an answer. You felt how his hand moved from your jaw to grip your chin, tilting it upwards, making you look him in the eye again. Your heart was beating so fast now you were sure he could hear it, or at least feel it.

“How about we make a deal,” he said, a small smirk on his face now, “you come to dinner with me now, and if you feel like studying after you can come back.” He shrugged before nodding his head towards the exit. His eyes were pleading with you to go with him and before you could even think it through you felt yourself nod in his grasp. A smile broke out on his face, making you give him a tired smile back. He turned, not letting your wrist go, and started towards the exit of the library. You were still feeling very tired as the two of you strolled to the great hall for dinner. Theodore pushed the great oak doors open, leading you to your now usual place, next to him and Lorenzo. The rest noticed you as you came up to the part at the table where they were sitting. Mattheo let out a low whistle.

“Damn, y/n, you look like shit,” he smirked, making Blaise snort into his goblet of pumpkin juice, “is tutoring Teddy that bad?” You rolled your eyes as you sat down in between Theodore and Lorenzo.

“At least I have a reason for looking like shit, what’s your excuse?” You countered making Blaise snort once again and Lorenzo give you a fist bump under the table. Mattheo held up his hands in surrender, an amused smirk on his face.

“Damn, she is snappy today, what happened, library run out of books for you to read?” He asked teasingly. You felt a small smile twitch on your lips, despite your exhaustion. You heard Theodore chuckle beside you as you felt his warm hand on your back in a comforting manner.

“I’m surprised you knew we had a library, Mattheo.” You said, your lips still twitching from trying not to smile. He broke out in a grin making you mirror it as you put some food on your plate, before putting some on Theodore’s. The boy thanked you quietly making you smile softly up at him.

“Yeah, I found it the other day actually.” Mattheo said, mock pride in his voice making you chuckle.

“Good job! Just you wait until you can read, it will be like a whole new world for you.” You teased him. Mattheo was anything but stupid, he was talented in most subjects, he could easily be one of the best students in the school if he put in the effort. But it was an inside joke your group had that he was stupid, mostly due to some of the stupid things he says, he had a habit of speaking before thinking, but that definitely didn’t make him stupid. The group chuckled making you smile once more as you slowly ate your dinner.

“But seriously, why do you look like you just woke up?” Blaise asked, you could see a hint of concern in his eyes making you give him an apologetic smile.

“Because she just did.” Theodore said before you could even think of replying. You turned to Theodore to send him a pointed look, but he was looking at his friends. “I found her asleep in the library.” He added.

“And you scold me for sleeping in class, this is just as bad!” Blaise pointed an accusing finger at you making you roll your eyes in a joking manner.

“Oh, shut up Blaise.” You laughed, tiredness still clear in your voice.

“Are you okay, though?” Lorenzo asked you cautiously. You gave him an apologetic smile, feeling guilty for worrying your newfound friends.

“I am, I’m just having sleep troubles, I have been for a while.” You admitted. It surprised you how easily you admitted that to them, but they made you feel safe in a weird way. You looked around at the group and you saw various looks of sympathy in their eyes.

“Guys, please don’t worry, it’s been like this for as long as I can remember.” You tried to make the problem smaller than it was, but it had the exact opposite effect. You felt Theodore’s hand come up to your back once again, rubbing it in a comforting manner.

“Maybe you need to see Madam Pomfrey?” Mattheo suggested, now serious.

“I mean it has been better now for a while; it was just last night that was bad, I don’t think I need to see her…” You trailed off. You felt Theodore’s hand move around to your waist, giving it a gentle reassuring squeeze.

“I’ll come with you if you want me to, bella.” He said softly, making you look at him. You felt warm inside from the concern he was showing you.

“I promise, I’ll go if it gets worse again.” You said after stifling a yawn. You saw how he smiled softly at you before he let his arm rest around your waist, letting you lean into him. You let your head fall to his shoulder. You looked around the group who still looked worried.

“Guys, I’ll be fine,” You said a smile on your face, “what did you guys do today?” You asked, not lifting your head from Theodores shoulder. The others were quiet for a quick moment before they started to recount their day. How they had pulled some pranks and how they accidentally intimidated a first year. You sent them a glare at this information making them apologize quickly before Lorenzo started to recount some gossip that had made its way around the school. You felt your eyelids droop as you listened to Lorenzo explain something about someone setting off a dungbomb in Filch’s office. The others, who would never admit that they enjoyed gossiping, were listening intently and they even suggested who it could be. Your mind started to focus less on the conversation and more on the warmth that Theodore was emitting. The way he was stroking your waist was comforting as you breathed in his now familiar scent. You started to just hear isolated words from the boys as you started to slip in and out from consciousness and before you knew it you were out like a light against Theodore’s shoulder.

“Is she asleep?”

“Yeah.” The voices were quiet and muffled as you felt someone grab the back of your knees, to lift you up.

“Man try something else.” You heard someone say as a frustrated sigh was heard from above you.

“Stupid riddle, stupid knocker, stupid Ravenclaw common room.” You heard someone mutter angrily from beside you, still sounding like it came through cotton.

“Finis Coronat Opus.” You heard a voice mutter and then you heard stone slide on stone.

You woke up the next morning, utterly confused but surprisingly well rested. You looked around your unfamiliar surroundings. Your eyes scanned the dark green canopy above you before tracing the same green curtains that hung around the bed you were laying in. You saw a desk with a chair against the wall next to you as well as a dark brown dresser opposite the foot of the fourposter bed that you were laying in. The bed was unbelievably comfortable, the comforter thick and warm against the cold air in the room, the pillows were fluffy. You noticed that you were alone in the bed, but you were wearing a big t-shirt and a pair of green plaid pyjama pants. You shot up in panic. These were not your clothes. Just as panic really started to set a door opened and in walked Theodore in just a towel.

“Morning, bella.” You barley heard him over his almost naked form. Your eyes shamelessly scanned his toned torso as he walked towards you with a smirk plastered on his face, using the other towel around his neck to dry of his hair.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked, a teasing hint in his voice as he sat down on the foot of the bed to look at you. You gulped as you felt the bed dip from his weight. You cleared your throat awkwardly.

“What happened?” You settled on asking first. He let out a chuckle.

“You fell asleep by the table.” He said but chose to continue to explain when he saw your confused look. “Me and Mattheo tried to get you to Ravenclaw tower, but we couldn’t solve the riddle to get in. And I didn’t want to wake you since you were so tired earlier, so we thought of the next best thing, to, uh, bring you here.” He finished as he chuckled again. You brain was trying to piece together this information.

“Did you... did you, um, change my clothes?” You gestured to the clothes you were wearing making Theodore let out an actual laugh. You tossed a pillow on his head at this.

“What’s so funny?” You asked as he continued to chuckle, the pillow now on his lap.

“You don’t remember? You’re quite the sleepwalker.” He mused, his eyes sparkling with amusement. You felt a blush creep up on your cheeks.

“Oh, no, what did I do?” You asked as you hid your face in your hands in embarrassment. You heard how he chuckled again before you felt his warm hands around your wrists, pulling your hands away from your face.

“You were adamant that you couldn’t sleep in your normal clothes once I put you down on my bed, and, well, you started to take your clothes off. Don’t worry!” He said as he saw how your eyes widened in panic, “I tossed you some clothes before I turned around, I didn’t look, I promise. But I’m pretty sure you fell sometime while you were changing but when I turned back around you were out cold on the bed again, completely dressed in the pyjamas.” He finished explaining as you let out a groan in embarrassment. He was probably right though; you felt sore on your hip.

“I’m so sorry Teddy.” The nickname just slipped out as you apologised for your antics. You saw how he tensed for a moment before a smile spread on his lips, his hands squeezed your wrists reassuringly.

“Don’t worry bella, I found it quite funny,” he chuckled before looking at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “and you’re always welcome to share my bed.” He winked before standing up, walking towards his dresser. Your eyes raked over his wide shoulders and muscular back. If you said he wasn’t attractive you would be a liar. You felt the blush come back to your cheeks as he confirmed the thought that had been floating in your mind. You had shared his bed. Oh, you hoped that you didn’t do anything else embarrassing.

“You might want to get dressed, unless you want to be late.” He said as he shrugged on his pants, making the towel fall to the floor. You sprang into action, getting out of bed before getting dressed in the outfit you wore yesterday. You thanked your past self for always keeping a spare pair of underwear in your schoolbag, in case you got your period unexpectedly. As you looked at your school shirt, makeup stains on the collar, you wondered for a second if it was too much to ask to borrow one of his shirts. You turned around to face him as he tied his Slytherin tie.

“Teddy?” You said softly making his eyes snap to yours. He smiled at you as you stood there, your school skirt on along with his t-shirt. His eyes drifted to your shirt in your hands.

“Do you mind?” You asked as you gestured to the stains on the shirt.

“Here.” He said, smile still on his face as he handed you one of his school shirts. You smiled gratefully before turning around again, quickly ridding yourself of the t-shirt before slipping on the soft material of the button up shirt. It was quite big on you; you noticed as you buttoned the buttons. You tucked the fabric inside the waistband of your skirt as you surveyed yourself in his mirror by the door. Theodore was sitting on the bed, looking at you. You quickly tied your tie around the collar of the too big shirt before turning around to Theodore.

“Do I look okay?” You asked gesturing to his shirt. He smiled at you from his bed.

“You look perfect, as always, bella.” He said smoothly making you blush. He stood up from his bed, walked over to you, took your hand and led you to the other door of his room, the one he came out of when you had woken up. It was a bathroom. Damn, the Slytherins really had the superior dorms, you thought as Theodore was rummaging through his cabinet before he handed you something. A toothbrush, still in its packaging.

“Here, I thought you might want to brush your teeth.” He shrugged as he grabbed his own toothbrush.

“Thank you.” You said softly as you ripped up the packaging before letting Theodore add toothpaste on it. The scene was painfully domestic as you stood there, looking at each other in the mirror while brushing your teeth. After you were done you quickly splashed your face with water, Theodore, to your surprise, held out a small container with face cream. You smiled at him as you applied a small layer of the cream.

“I didn’t know you cared so much for your skin?” You asked as you walked through the Slytherin common room together. Your eyes wandered around the stonewalls and black leather couches. The common room had large windows that showed the bottom of the black lake. You let your eyes linger on the creatures on the other side of the window as you walked past it with Theodore by your side.

“It’s not all easy being this handsome.” He smirked making you let out a laugh. The two of you walked to breakfast together, his arm found it’s home on your shoulders as you were walking through the corridors littered with students. You noticed that people were looking at the two of you as they were whispering to their friends. Your eyes narrowed at them as you walked past groups and groups of people staring and whispering. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion before you turned your head to look up at Theodore.

“Why are people staring at us?” You whispered up to him. He looked down at you, his eyebrows furrowed at your question.

“Hm, I don’t know, maybe because you’re beautiful?” He shrugged, sending you a wink before moving to hold open the large oak doors to the great hall. As you walked in the hall got quiet before everyone broke out into hushed whispers. You looked at Theodore with suspicion.

“That’s not it.” You said, narrowed eyes.

“I’m sorry bella, I have no clue.” He said with a chuckle as he held up his hands in mock surrender. You decided to let it go as you walked together towards your friends. Theodore’s hand on the low of your back.

“Morning, y/n.” Lorenzo said a broad smirk on his face as you sat down next to him, Theodore next to you.

“Morning, boys.” You said smile on your face as you reached for a piece of toast.

“So, did you sleep well?” Mattheo said before coughing, “with Theo.” He added between coughs. You narrowed your eyes at the boy you have come to look at like a brother. The others let out various chuckles at this. Theodore did tell you that Mattheo tried to help him get you back to your common room last night, so you assumed he filled in the others on what had happened.

“Yeah, did you use protection?” Blaise asked with a shrug making both you and Theodore choke on your tea and him his coffee. You looked at Theodore who was trying to hold in his laughter, deciding to turn the tide you turned to Blaise, a smirk on your face.

“At least there’s a reason to ask us that, when was the last time someone asked you that Blaise?” You asked innocently making Lorenzo and Mattheo laugh.

“Oi, y/n, that was foul.” Blaise said with a grin on his face making you laugh before you turned to Mattheo.

“I heard you couldn’t solve the riddle, what was it?” You asked, curious.

“Oh, I barely remember, like something lost in the day, blah blah, comes at night, what is it?” He said, his mouth full of food. You scrunched your nose at him.

“Do you mean They come out at night without being called and are lost in the day without being stolen.” You asked curiously as you looked between Theodore and Mattheo. They both nodded, making you shake your head at them.

“Yeah, that was the one.” Theodore confirmed as he took a bite out of his toast.

“Stars, you idiots. The answer is stars.” You said with a sigh making Lorenzo let out a chuckle.

“Well, how are we supposed to know that?” Mattheo protested making you chuckle and shake your head before sipping your tea.

“Oh, I don’t know, I suppose I expected more from someone with the last name Riddle.” You said pointedly making the others chuckle again. Mattheo sent you playful glare as he sipped his tea. The rest of breakfast went by quickly, so did the rest of the day and before you knew it you found yourself walking around the grounds with Theodore before dinner. Where the others had gone you had no idea. Theodore’s arm had found its way around your shoulders again, holding you close to his side. As you were walking outside in the thick layer of snow towards the green houses a blonde Hufflepuff boy bumped into your shoulder, making you stumble into Theodore’s side.

“Watch where you’re going.” The boy said, rather rudely, making you look at him stunned when you had regained your footing. You recognised him as Zacharias Smith. You frowned at him and just as you were about to tell him off Theodore had grabbed the collar of his cloak. He was snarling as he dragged the shorter Hufflepuff closer to his face. He had a dangerous look on his face while sending the boy an icy glare.

“Che cazzo stai facendo?” Theodore asked angrily.

“O-oi-” Zacharias protested, trying to get lose from Theodores grip.

“I asked you what the fuck you’re doing.” Theodore repeated, interrupting Zacharias protesting, dangerously slow this time. You saw how he gulped nervously. Coming out of your momentarily shock you jumped into action. Curling your fingers around Theodore’s bicep you successfully got his attention away from the Hufflepuff boy.

“Teddy,” You said, your voice soft, “please, I’m sure it was just an accident.” You looked with a pointed look at Zacharias who nodded fervently in agreement.

“Y-yeah, I’m s-sorry y/n.” He sputtered out. Theodore looked at him, the cold, dangerous stare back in his eyes as he reluctantly let go of Zacharias collar. The moment he was lose he scurried away like a frightened deer. Theodore turned back to you, his eyes now back to their puppy dog look that you’ve become familiar with. But this time you weren’t feeling the usual warmth in your stomach when you gazed into them. No, you were feeling the prickling feeling of annoyance bubble up in your stomach instead, along with something else.

“What did you do that for?” You asked, glaring at the boy with fluffy hair. A small frown made its way onto his lips.

“What do you mean, bella?” He asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

“Why did you have to go all ‘cave man’ on Zacharias? He only bumped into me for Merlin’s sake.” You let out in an exasperated tone, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Cave man? Bella, he hurt you and he was rude to you!” Theodore said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Sure, he was rud-”

“No one can treat you like that in front of me.” He interrupted you, his voice low. You felt the icy wind nip at your face as the warm feeling returned to the pit of your stomach.

“I- what? Why?” You stuttered, his admission catching you off guard.

“How can you be so smart and so stupid at the same time?” He muttered irritably as he took a step closer to you, snow crunching under his feet.

“I’m not stupid.” You scoffed, sending him another glare. He let out a laugh in frustration as he looked to the side before looking back at you. His hand grabbed your chin making you hold your eye contact.

“You are the smartest person I know, and yet you can’t see what’s in front of you.” He said, his face coming closer to yours. Your heart was beating fast as your eyes searched his blue ones. His eyes were raw with emotion as he was staring at your face.

“What?” You asked softly, still lost in his eyes. He let out a huff, eyes quickly darting to the side before they found yours again. His face was so close to yours that you could see the specs of green and grey in his blue irises. The cold air evaporated around you when his soft lips found yours. His hand that was gripping your chin moved to the nape of your neck to bring you closer, his other finding your hip, squeezing it gently. It took you a moment to realise what was happening. Theodore was kissing you. The boy you had been crushing on was kissing you. Before you could even think about reciprocate the kiss he pulled back. Worry was swirling in his beautiful eyes.

“Bella, I-” He started to apologise but your mind caught up with the situation. You interrupted his apology by kissing him, your hands grabbing onto the ends of his knitted Slytherin scarf, effectively dragging him down to your height. It felt like a breath of fresh air to be kissing him. Like you had been closed in a stuffy room for too long and he was the window that was cracked open. You felt how his soft lips stretched into a smile as he kissed you back in a gentle, slow kiss. The wind swirled snowflakes around the two of you as your arms found their way around his neck to get even closer to him. The two of you smiled as you kissed each other in the cold winter air. Only pulling apart by the loud cheering of three other Slytherins you have come to look at as your friends and brothers. You looked at your friends, laughter in your throat before you looked back to Theodore who was smiling down at you, adoration in his eyes.

“Should we get to dinner, amore?” He asked softly but made no move to go over to your friends.

“Amore?” You questioned, butterflied fluttering in your stomach. He nodded as he gently took on of your hands in his before placing a soft kiss on your knuckles.

“Amore mio.” He said making your heart beat considerably faster. He smiled softly at you making you stand on the tip of your toes to place another kiss on his lips. Yet another loud cheer could be heard from up the hill near the castle. You couldn’t contain your smile as you kissed him, only breaking apart because the cheers became too loud. With a laugh you and Theodore joined your friends before heading to dinner. Maybe there was more to life than studying. What neither of you saw was Professor Flitwick that had witnessed the whole ordeal, a fond smile on his face.

[aeristudios]

see you, space cowboy (epilogue)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: It's been almost a year since everything has happened, and you're ready to come home—to the man who never stopped waiting. .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: bounty hunter!Wonwoo x bounty hunter!reader, brief mentions of other members (Jeonghan, Soonyoung, Mingyu and Seungcheol) .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, sc-fi, smut, fluff, lovers to enemies to ???, cowboy bebop elements, space au, established relationship, neo-noir, dystopian-ish if you squint .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: PLEASE READ ALL THE WARNINGS! heavy angst, very strong language, mentions of murder/attempted murder, gun violence, morally grey characters, grief, guilt/self blame, kissing, very messy oral (f. receiving), nipple play, fingering, nail digging, unprotected sex, missionary, creampie, and still lots and lots of yearning .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 2.2K .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐀𝐍: Reader's nickname is Silver and the reason for the nickname is explained in the main story attached to this: See You, Space Cowboy. I highly encourage you to read that story first because this epilogue will make more sense. I wasn't planning on writing another part to this, but you guys really loved the story and wanted to know what was going to happen to them after this. Tbh, so did I. I loved writing these two and I shed a lot of tears writing their story. Ugh I hope this love finds me one day lol. Thank you to @lovetaroandtaemin & @wooahaeproductions for looking at this with me and thank you again @hobeemin for the banner 🖤

main story visual concept #1 visual concept #2 playlist

The sand here is warmer than you remember. 

It almost feels like silk, running your fingers over the tiny grains that sparkle like gold in the sunlight. The forever tropical breeze sways your hair off your shoulders, your silver hair shining like a beacon in the sun. The waters crash against the rocks, revealing the hidden coral, and you stand there in awe. 

The Sanctuary— your safe place, your peace. 

It’s been almost a year since you took out Aeron and showed the galaxy what a murderer he was, clearing your name with all the evidence you gathered with the help of Selene. There was no trial; his death was written up as self-defense, and no one was going to question more than they needed to. Wonwoo was placed as the interim head of The Organization and had to learn quickly how to take over the ropes and be the Boss. You stayed at a hideaway spot on a neighboring planet, with nothing but oceans for miles and a small island with a house and everything you needed. Jeonghan and Sohee visited often and kept you company, while Mingyu and Soonyoung came to drop off supplies at Wonwoo's request, keeping you alive during your self-isolation. 

The thing is, you could have come back as soon as your name was cleared, resumed your bounty hunter status, and gone back to the life you had before. Wonwoo begged for you to come back, to be with him, and as much as your heart yearned and your body ached for him, you weren’t ready. You were a debilitating mess, and you needed to heal, and bless Wonwoo for wanting to see you through that, but you needed to be alone. You needed to properly mourn and grieve. 

God, Wonwoo is a saint. You’ve put him through so much, and you’re still the sun that rises for him. He sent you updates without you asking, and sometimes you replied, sometimes you were so deep in your pain that you would shut off your phone for days and pretend nothing existed. You’re a shitty fiance; you know that, and you firmly believe that he deserves better than what you have been giving him. 

So why are you here?

Simply put, you miss him. 

Your time apart from him has been agonizing, eating you alive every day. You needed time to heal, but you are ready to come back into the fold. To come back home, which has always been with him. You’ve thought about it a lot; all you could dream about was him. The time you shared your first kiss, when he told you he loved you for the first time, when he asked you to marry him, etc. Your thoughts were loud even when it was quiet, and you knew it was time to quit wallowing in your self-pity and to be the partner Wonwoo deserved. 

You sent him the message yesterday. Just two words.

 “Tomorrow. Sanctuary.” 

He didn’t respond, but you know that he’ll come. Wonwoo has never let you down; you’re the fuck up in this relationship, after all. 

So here you are, standing on this beach with the sand between your feet, your stomach in knots as you wait with bated breath to see your beautiful man. You close your eyes, letting the wind grace your cheeks as you try to drown out the voices of doubt in your head, and just for a moment, just breathe. 

But then you hear the sound of boots crushing the sand, and your heart starts to pound in your chest, threatening to break free. You slowly turn and look at him, the wind picking up as you are finally face to face with the love of your life. His hair is a little longer now, barely touching the back of his neck, and he almost seems taller? Maybe you’ve been apart too long, and it’s fucking with your psyche. You don’t know. 

But one thing remains the same: his eyes. They are deep and soft when he looks at you. You still see home, your saving grace. 

“Hey there, space cowboy.” 

Wonwoo chuckles at his nickname, raking his fingers through his hair. The sun shines on him in the right way, and there isn’t a lens in the world that could do him justice. 

“Hey, my pretty girl,” he says, pulling you closer to him. You breathe in his familiar cologne, trying to keep the tears behind your eyes at bay, but you’re struggling. You love him so much; he is your lifeline. You hope that you will always find each other in the next life.

“I’m surprised you came.” You say, your voice is trembling. “I thought you’d be sick of my shit by now.” 

“There you go, still not trusting me,” he tsks. 

“Oh, stop, you know it’s not that—”

“No, it’s literally that,” Wonwoo interrupts. “How many times do I have to tell you—or better yet, show you—that I’m not going anywhere? I would do anything for you, baby. You ask me to leap, and I will. You ask me to shoot, and I’ll pull the trigger, no questions asked. I love you. “

His eyes peer into yours, penetrating your soul and leaving you vulnerable. There’s always been talk about how you're the sun that rises and sets for Wonwoo… but he is your twin moons, his soft light guiding you through your darkness. He’s your anchor, your rock, your peace. You were made for each other, and it’s never been clearer. 

“I left you,” you say tearfully. “You needed me, too, and I stayed gone. It’s okay to be mad at me. Scream at me! Do something!” 

“Silver,” the sound of your name makes your heart flutter. “You were never really gone.”

He points at your engagement ring, sparkling in all of its glory. You knew he always looked out for you, even when you couldn’t do it yourself. 

“God, you are such a romantic,” you scoff, rolling your eyes playfully. 

“Only for you, baby..” 

You shake your head, looking across the horizon as the sun begins to set, the sun turning into a stunning display of red and orange hues. You think about everything that has happened to get you where you are now, and even though your name is clear, how can you return to the way things were?

“So, what’s going to happen when we go back?” You decide to rip off the band-aid. 

Wonwoo kicks the sand around, and you see he is choosing his words before responding. 

“I stepped down.”

You look at him, your mouth open in shock as disbelief runs through you. “Y-you stepped down? Is it because of me?”

“Yes, but not in the way you think,” he says, gauging your expression. “I don’t want to be the head of The Organization. That’s what Aeron wanted, that’s what he trained me for. I love the missions and all that, but being the head meant longer hours, less missions, and not being home with you. I would hate that, and I already fucking resent it.” 

You study him, unsure about how you feel about this. “Are you sure? Don’t feel like you need to baby me, Wonwoo. I can take care of myself.” 

“Silver, stop.” His voice is firm but gentle, keeping you in check. “I know you are capable of handling things on your own. But my point is that we would not have the life we have always discussed if I took over. I’m still on the board and made sure you are on it too. So we still get a say in major decisions. “

“Okay,” you think it over. “So, who is taking over?” 

“I nominated Choi Seungcheol to take over. He’s capable and has the mindset to lead.” Wonwoo pauses, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I just want my job and you. Everything will be fine.”

You know of Seungcheol, and though you weren’t friends, you have to admit he is a good bounty hunter. He’s number three behind you and Wonwoo, and the few times you had to do jobs with him, you knew he had your back. Maybe the future isn’t so bleak after all. 

“So what I am hearing is, you still want to marry me?” You tease him.

Wonwoo’s expression softens as he pulls you closer, your lips barely brushing against his. 

“Of course. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life and the next one after.”

“Wonwoo, just kiss me already.”

 His lips crash against yours, his arms wrapped around your waist as your legs buckle at his embrace. His lips taste familiar, like the peace of home you have been missing for almost a year. You are done with the self-deprivation— you want him. Need him. And judging by the way he grabs your ass, he feels the same way. 

“I need you,” you whisper against his lips. 

“I know, baby, “ he says in between kisses. “I booked our favorite room on the way here.” 

Biting your lip, you let him lead you across the beach towards one of the many rooms in the Sanctuary, taking out the key card and tapping it on the reader. He opens the door to a spacious room with a soft king-size bed, expansive windows, and an open sliding door, inviting the ocean air in. You barely enter before your lips find his again, tearing off his shirt and throwing it across the room. You feel him smirk against your lips, unbuttoning your jeans and shoving them down your legs. Your desire for him is carnal, haunting even, and you need him inside of you now. 

“Fuck me, please,” you beg, undoing his belt. “It’s been so long.” 

“Aren’t we needy today?” he teases you. 

“I’m needy all the time.” 

“Touche.” 

He takes off his pants, revealing his stiff cock, and it makes you salivate. In your time apart, you’ve touched yourself to that night in the shower over and over, reminiscing the time he tasted and fucked you like it was the last time you would have that again. Now, you will have many more to come. 

You let him slowly take off your panties, spreading your legs wide as he looks at the sweet nectar between your legs. He licks his lips, grabbing you by your hips and pulling you closer to his face. He takes one long lick in between your folds, his tongue playfully brushing against your clit. 

“Please,” you breathe. “Wonwoo, please.” 

He obliges, eating you like a man with a purpose, to satisfy you. He nips at your thighs just the way you like it, spitting on your clit and sucking you all the same. He is dirty, filthy, sliding his fingers inside you and out of you, and tasting each time. Your eyelids are heavy, and you are on a high,  watching Wonwoo get pussy drunk off you, and it’s taking everything in you to not cum in his mouth. 

“You feel so good,” you cry out. “I missed you.” 

He hums in agreement, the vibrations from his mouth sending jolts throughout your legs. You take off your shirt, your fingers brushing against your nipples, pinching your hardening mounds. With one last lick, Wonwoo stands up, his face wet with your arousal dripping off his chin as he hovers over you. You lift up to meet his lips, tasting yourself on his tongue and understanding his addiction. Your legs wrap around him as he enters you with one smooth, slow thrust.

“Fuck,” you cry out, feeling relief and instant gratification. 

“I know, baby, I know.” 

He moves slowly at first, deep and intentional, like every motion is an act of forgiveness. Your fingers are in his hair. You look into his eyes and nod, giving him the okay to take you however he wants. 

He does that. His pace starts to build, rocking the bed against the wall as he fucks you harder, spilling your name from his pretty mouth. Your nails dig into his back, begging for more as the sound of slapping skin and moans fills up the room, not caring who hears you outside. You’ve never felt more alive, watching his cock slide in and out of you with such earnest, begging for your sugarness to cover him once again. 

“Wonwoo, I—” 

“Go ahead. Give it to me.” 

Your back arches as you see those familiar white stars, sending you over the edge as your release feels like a resurrection. Your legs shake; you're breathless,  sweaty and fucked out. He follows shortly after, spilling inside of you, his body trembling against yours. 

He doesn’t move, and neither do you. You stay wrapped around him, basking in the heat, sweat, and salt of everything you thought you’d lost. Your heart beats against his, a kindred soul in all this, confirming that you have your person and will never let him go. 

“I love you, Jeon Wonwoo.” 

He lifts up slowly, smiling softly as he kisses you sweetly, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “I love you more, Silver. I always have, and I always will.” 

You smile softly, returning his affection as you continue to make up for lost time, taking advantage of your new lease on your lives. At the end of the day, it will always be you and him. 

The Sanctuary, that is you and him—still standing.

And outside, the sea keeps living.

Just like you.

thank you for reading!! I can't believe we are done...

or are we? if you are interested in any spinoffs from some of the other characters in the story, comment, reblog or send an ask <3

[d3cay1ngst4tic]

— WHEN THE SKY MELTS, I SHALL COME BACK TO YOU AGAIN.

synopsis. when the world gets too fast, you go to them again. and again. and again—

(you know you aren’t supposed to.)

although, when the clouds snicker and make fun of you for not carrying an umbrella when they told you to, you can’t help but run, anyway. because that’s the only thing you’re good at, and will ever be.

contents. satoru gojo x gn!reader x suguru geto. angst. hurt/comfort. teensy angst at the end but we’re good, gang. grotesque imagery. reader is kinda going through it tbh. also a hell lot of background building bc what am i without it?

word count. 3K (ish).

★ jiah’s notes. this is kinda self indulgent (?) my contribution to the angst fest. bless. [cue sfx: hyena laughter.]

the clouds outside seem to cry.

but it’s not raining as hard. maybe it’s just you, just a silly little human thinking even things without a body have emotions. maybe that’s why the rain stills all of a sudden, as if gaping at the mere possibility of possessing such mortality only earthlings could suffer from. maybe that’s why a distant star nearby twinkles and winks dimly at the world to see how much of a fool you are.

you can feel them laugh at you, even if they really don’t. one can’t exactly blame them, right? you’ve always had a knack for seeing too much. hearing too much.

(being too much.)

the raindrops splatter against the window, trying to smear your face but they fail to— the train’s too fast, anyway. too fast for anyone to even try and touch you.

you’re not sure if you like it anymore.

(you have to. you know what happened last time someone touched you in places which you didn’t even know existed.)

your breath stutters against your ribs like a frightened little rabbit trapped in a wolf’s body— trying to skitter and claw its way out. a doomed sort of naïvity laces its soft fur, like an inferno that dies out too soon.

something supposed to be, yet is not.

(how ironic. usually, you’ve felt the opposite.)

then again, you’ve felt a lot of things. there just isn’t as much time to feel them like you used to— everything just sinks their teeth into your skin and expects your knees to buckle and give way.

you just stand there and take it for what it is.

someone beside you shifts in their seat. you’ve forgotten what they look like. silly you, didn’t you have a look at them when they sat down next to you?

(didn’t you?)

nevermind. you can now, atleast.

(does it matter?)

not really, your hands say, gripping the cold metal tightly. the pole’s coolness seems to soothe your overheated nerves— or perhaps that’s just you desperately trying to hold onto something that doesn’t burn instead.

but it’s so loud. their phone, you mean. it screams into your ears and makes the dusk’s teeth sink in a little more. a part of you wants to scream right back— your own fingertips denting your palm, like sickening half moons smiling at how bothered you seem to be.

(a part of you tells you quietly to just take it.)

so you shift in your seat, too, sucking in a breath and hoping that it stays long enough. long enough to make things slow down, just for a little while.

it’s been too fast for far too long, hasn’t it?

(even for you.)

the little gulp of air makes you feel suffocated instead. but you still hold onto it, because it’s the only thing you shall ever truly have.

leaning back into the seat, you dare to take a look at the person sitting next to you from the farthest corner of your gaze.

it’s a guy. younger than you, you think— his face is tainted by rebellious youth, a firm set to his jaw, like there’s a retort sitting at the tip of his tongue, ready to be spitted out the moment someone leans in too close. he’s got his earphones plugged in— they don’t do much, though. you can hear whatever popular rap music he’s listening to quite clearly. but he still keeps them on, even if they’re not. . there.

your heart convulses.

(seems like you both are more than just a little alike, huh? holding onto things that aren’t there just to feel a spark of the fire that once consumed you whole.)

you look away, and he raises a brow. but he doesn’t say anything, despite how outlandish he seems— like a puzzle piece that fits, but doesn’t quite match the scenery that you’re supposed to paint.

you’ve never been so glad.

the announcement blaring from the speakers above snaps you out of your haze— making the trees’ corpses within you cease their screaming, just for a moment. just for a moment where you can stand up and leave the train with slow, spongy steps— as if you’re counting each one; like you’re savouring each soft tap of your boots against the tiled floor of the station.

you really need to work on savouring things.

who knows? you might never step foot upon this platform again.

(might as well take it for what it is.)

the rain’s stopped. how queer of the clouds to stop their ridiculing the moment you’re outside a cage. cowards; that’s what they all are, you think, shaking your coat for any stray raindrops that linger still stubbornly.

ah, well.

you nearly get splashed by a car making a swift turn on a puddle— scrunching your nose at the sky to glare at the white wisps of frosty air. the cheek of them, really. it’s as if they couldn’t bear to see you go without giving you one last jab.

you don’t blame them, not really. you wish you could’ve had a last chance at many things that you’ve done, too, even if they’re not with as much nefarious intent.

pressing your phone into your palm, you quicken up your pace on the pavement— stopping occasionally to let others in a hurry pass, watching them pass by in slow motion with those eyes that seem to move too fast in this small world of yours.

too bad, huh?

things just can’t touch you when you want them to.

(all the fish are dead in this pond you keep waiting in, a line without a hook clasped into your clammy hands.)

even the sky’s changing its colours. a steady purple blooms from the stars who shy away from your gaze, making you tilt your head upwards and just. . stare. look.

(see for what it is.)

it doesn’t overwhelm you, this purplish tinge that takes over you like a second skin. a hint of a blue lingers around the edges, but then you blink and it’s much more closer than it lets on— much more deep than you realise. they seem one, these two— you can’t look at one and not catch a glimpse of the other.

(strings of the same sweater tangling into one another, squeezing your heart just a bit more to make you feel the warmest that you’ve ever felt.)

caught amidst these hues of purple and blue, you almost forget the yellow that your boots skitter on. your body tenses up— just for a while— when you realise that you’re here.

the supermarket.

you almost passed it, judging by the fact that you’re standing on the discarded caution tape by the end of the sidewalk, which leads to the main road before you.

turning around on your toes to walk back, you reach out to trap some of the sky in your hands. just so you could see them one more time, if you looked for them in your bag again without a second thought.

(you know they won’t stay. you try, anyway.)

the air here smells like the hum after a concert which had no audience. quiet, but not quite so— if you closed your eyes long enough, you could still hear the after laughs of a forgotten joke. weren’t you the one who made it in the first place?

(don’t you remember?)

your hands pry open the fridge door too quickly, and you find yourself staring blankly at the soft drinks that litter the stale white with logos that talk too loudly. you’ve got your gaze fixed, though. even through the haze of this cacophony of colours, you still manage to come back to just one.

sprite.

three cans of it, carried in your arms like a sleeping child. you’re sure that you would cry if someone tried to take them away from you.

(would you, though? won’t you just take it, instead?)

the cashier hands you the receipt of the total amount when you finally find the strength to put them down. you barely look at her, placing a few bills on the counter with jittery hands and cradle the cans in your hold once again, stepping out of the store without a backwards glance.

there is no need to look back now. they’re here, right? so close to your chest. you daren’t let go of them. you can’t.

your phone buzzes in your pocket, but you don’t check. there isn’t time to.

you’ve got places to be.

“you came,” satoru calls out to your panting , sweaty form. “what a surprise, hm?”

his words are all but a drawl at the edge of his tongue, but you can see the strain in his eyes when he says them. like he wasn’t quite sure whether you would be here or not.

(like he’d rather you weren’t.)

you can’t bring yourself to be hurt by it. you know you shouldn’t be.

“came without an umbrella,” adds suguru, eyes crinkling, despite himself, “in this weather, too.”

“it’s not raining anymore,” you mutter, raising a brow at him.

“it was,” he hums, “and it could.”

(a pause.)

silence takes over for a moment. not the kind that makes everything else seem too loud, but the kind that makes you crumble completely onto yourself till there’s nothing left but a quiet sort of acceptance.

(you came.)

“don’t nag, ’ru” satoru huffs, taking the sprite from your hands, “they came a long way, y’know?”

he doesn’t open the can.

you don’t ask him to.

“i come here for work every week,” a deadpan from your lips and he’s all but a horrified stare and betrayed words, “— don’t look at me like that. you’re just being dramatic, satoru.”

you watch him slap the back of his hand across his forehead with the grace of a feral raccoon, eyes wide with unshed, faux tears that might’ve just been the perspiration of the sprite can, lips parted in a demise that’s probably too heart-wrenching for words.

“and here i was,” he sing-songs, staggering on his feet, “thinking that i was protecting you from this vengeful beast. oh, woe is me— even my trusty sprite peasant has turned their back on me!”

you scrunch your nose. “sprite peasant?”

“and now he’s got a god complex as well,” suguru quips, “what a bundle of sunshine you are, satoru.”

“somebody’s gotta be the sparkles and rainbows to that awful ass personality of yours, ya know,” satoru wriggles his eyebrows, and it’s suguru’s turn to scrunch his nose instead. “what? you’re just jealous you can’t be the comic relief epitome.”

“i don’t know about the comic relief,” you say, voice hushed in mock theatrics, “but you sure are the instant migraine inducer, my lord.”

“although,” suguru adds on, fighting back a smile when the satoru looks at him with faux betrayal in his eyes which seems to overspill, “i can second for the rainbows part. you excel at that too, my lord.”

(a pause. for the dramatic effect.

like the sweet, deceitful silence betore a thunderstorm.)

“what is wrong with you two?” satoru finally splutters out, and you finally crack— a laugh tearing itself out of your throat as you watch the other two crash into fits of exaggerated insults and quiet laughter. it hangs all over the place— a candle lit on an earth too damp to contain its flame.

(you still watch it burn, anyway. you remember the joke now, don’t you?)

watch them, burn. perhaps that would be a better wording.

satoru’s laugh cuts a wound through the air— bleeding through the static to play on and on like a broken record in your head, like a memory that shouldn’t be a memory. it makes you go still for a moment, the sheer fullness he brings with it.

(you try to rule out how wrongly it makes your breath falter.)

suguru’s, though, sounds hollow. it always did, after a certain point. not because he’s not genuinely happy— it’s just. . that he’s made to linger instead. he sounds like a memory, too— except that you could’ve stopped him from becoming one.

(you try not to think how bright the purple in his eyes shines when he looks at you. wrong, wrong, wrong.)

“thank you,” suguru’s voice brings you back, and you feel him pry one of the two remaining cans away, “but i’d still prefer if you came with an umbrella.”

“again with the umbrella,” satoru sticks out his tongue, making the other raise a brow, “it’s not like they got wet or something.”

“not yet,” he hums.

(not yet.)

“you don’t want me to be here,” you mutter. quietly. satoru almost shoots out a jab dancing at the tip of his tongue, but then he notices that the laughter’s worn off, leaving behind nothing.

suguru doesn’t say anything.

you sound small. smaller than you want to be, at least. you’re starting to dislike how they’ve stilled, eyes softening into something that makes you want to crawl out of your skin.

“well?” you flare up, your hands tightening their grip ’round the cold can, which does little to soothe the ashes that stain your bones, “why won’t you answer? was that a yes?”

the smiles that filled you once are now gone entirely— cheeks flushed with a heat that just won’t go no matter how many cold sprite cans you cradled close to your chest, no matter how many support bars you hold in the train to make yourself feel a little more grounded.

the chill doesn’t seep into you and probably never will, you just catch on fire too easily nowadays, don’t you?

(only the trees remain, screaming when you burn them all over again.)

you hate it, the way they just stare. they don’t even look away. like two blocks of pure stone to your painfully silent agony.

a pause.

“. . say something,” you rasp out, trying not to hear the way your voice cracks a little at the end.

“you’re tired,” suguru says, but not after a beat of breath that steals away all the air from your lungs.

“and what is that supposed to mean?”

“it’s not supposed to mean anything,” he sighs quietly, “i’m just. . saying that you’re tired. that’s all.”

“. . . well, i—”

“sweetheart,” satoru murmurs and you hate him for that, hate him for saying that word, hate him because you know that he knows how it makes your heart stutter against your ribs, “we’re glad that you came.”

(that’s a lie.)

you know. satoru knows that you know. and suguru does, too.

(you gulp it down your throat, anyway.)

“sorry,” you close your eyes to gather a bit of breath into your lungs once again, before opening them again. “i’m not feeling that well today.”

they still haven’t opened their cans.

you don’t tell them to.

you open yours, though— pressing the cold rim of the metal against your lips and swallowing the cold that makes your overheated insides fizzle out an apology. they don’t put on much of a show, now that you’ve poured water on their ashes.

for a cold drink, it sure burns your throat down.

(you let it.)

“. . hold me,” you say, staring at them once again. there’s that look in their eyes again. but this time, it doesn’t make you flare up. you’ve already poured sprite all over the fire, right?

a pause.

then another.

“. . not right now,” satoru says. quietly, like he’s trying to soothe a cornered animal. except, that there’s no corner in this endless loop which keeps dragging you back here. back to them.

you hold on just a little longer.

“then when?”

“when time comes,” suguru reaches out a hand— but you stop yourself from nuzzling into it. you know he wouldn’t like it if you give in so soon.

“it’s getting late,” you say, brushing aside dust that doesn’t exist.

“go safely,” you hear suguru say, “don’t walk too slow. it might rain.”

you don’t look back.

your steps turn frantic, and soon, you’re running, running, running— faster than you’ve ever ran your entire life. running from their gaze. running from them. running from yourself. running from everything.

(so much for having a rabbit for a heart.)

“stop!” you gasp out, when the gates begin to close within the line of your sight, “stop, please! i—”

“get outta here,” the watchman grumbles, holding the metal door open once again, just enough for you to slide through. “lost your mind, have you? wandering around so late in a cemetery of all places?”

“s—sorry,” you wheeze after almost falling over, holding onto the stitch in your ribs, but the bleeding won’t stop just yet, “i had to visit. . . visit them.”

“visiting them isn’t going to take away the fact that they’re gone,” he says with careless sympathy, eyeing your flushed self with a quiet sort of understanding. “not that i’m prying into something i shouldn’t. you should go home— look at yourself, you haven’t even got an umbrella on you.”

“thank you,” you say, brushing the dirt off your knees, “thank you for not keeping the gate open.”

“sure,” the man dismisses you with a curt nod. “just don’t expect me to keep doing that for you. this place doesn’t have favorites.”

(this place doesn’t have anyone that close to be a favourite to begin with.)

and as you walk, slowly, something makes you still. something makes the too-fast fire slow down.

you tilt your head upwards, and the first raindrop hits your cheek.

then another.

and then the rain swallows you whole without a second thought.

(and you?)

you laugh.

your laugh isn’t full, but it isn’t hollow, either. just somewhere in between.

just enough to make you throw your head back and send the empty can of sprite clattering down the sidewalk just so you can laugh your heart out.

“good on you, suguru.”

@d3cay1ngst4tic on tumblr. do not copy or post any of my works.

[thewalrusespublicist]

Hello! Love your blog and your takes, objective and sane and well researched chefs kiss! I had a blast scrolling through it like it was my feed yesterday lol can you elaborate on klaus and Paul if possible? People mostly talk about them like it’s already understood but I don’t understand 😭 I’m kinda lost on their (all of them, including stu) dynamic during the hamburg years specifically when it comes to Paul

Aww thank you anon! Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol). So I really, really needed this. :)

Oh Paul vs/and the Exsis, it's quite a long one so buckle up.

Disclaimer: all of the people involved are essentially art kids/young adults who are famously the most exhausting people on the planet. Do not blame them for being dramatic, it's their natural state of being.

If we want to go into Paul and Klaus, we have to kind of start with the John, Paul and Stu. Now these three are a mess that's too big to go into here (though I have THOUGHTS about how Stu is utilised in the Beatles narrative that I'm more than happy to share if asked lmaooo). But in short(ish):

John and Paul had had an intense year and a bit of closeness. Then John meets Stu at art college.

John and Stu become c l o s e for many reasons (being peers, living together, similar artistic leanings + ego, Stu being a gentle guide to John, sharing art projects/poetry/long letters and feelings etc.) They became 'closer than two men' a friend had seen (remind us of anyone gang?). Most importantly, John could be open about his feelings with Stu in letters. If John had BPD which I subscribe too, I think Stu was his 'favourite person' and as Aunt Mimi said his 'special' and 'closest friend' from this period up until his death (though imho the transference back to Paul was starting prior to his death).

It's not clear what exactly happens as there's differing accounts but Stu uses his money to buy a new bass as John wants him to come to Scotland then Hamburg and play bass as he will 'look good'.

Paul doesen't like being relegated to the seat behind John and Stu when he used to sit next to John. He also isn't thrilled when he gets to Hamburg and not only does he get to sleep in the other room with just Pete but Stu cannot be arsed to play because he's hanging out with his hot new girlfriend Astrid (more on her in a sec). Our boy has spent a lot of money he doesen't have and given up on further education to be here and is jealous and annoyed.

Paul and Stu probably were friends and I think their mutual antipathy is overegged. HOWEVER, can't be denied that Paul is jealous of Stu and Stu is jealous of Paul (and getting flare-ups from increasing brain damage). John and Stu tease Paul and steal his money, Paul is mean to Stu (as are the others encouraged by John). Do I think John was playing games with both of them? Yup. They end up scuffling onstage because Paul said something about Astrid (not clear what, one account is that Paul said that Stu could borrow money off Astrid if he needed it which isn't really that bad a dig but who knows Yoko??).

Why is this dynamic important? Because it directly impacts the 'Exsis' (Klaus, Jurgen and Astrid's) group's relationship with Paul:

The Exsis were young artists living in Hamburg. They were artistic, cool, interesting and edgy. They were paramount in introducing the Beatles to cool new concepts, aesthetics and ideas. They also took themselves VERY seriously ie pretentious as all hell.

Astrid met Stu at Kaiserkeller and hit it off. They embarked on an all-consuming romance.

Letter from Stu to Astrid, c.1961

I've seen people say they were the proto-John and Yoko in terms of making their romance the whole world and influencing John years down the line and I can see that. With Astrid and Stu it's far more endearing though because they ARE young and the right age to have a relationship like that. Stu is popular with the Exsis in general and brings them into the Beatles group.

The Exsis didn't like or trust Paul. Astrid said later it was because Paul was 'too nice' which she herself admits is a ridiculous reason. The others also thought he was a bit of a show-off. It makes sense though if you're cool and edgy and want to stick it to the world to be sus about a guy being friendly show-off with seemingly no inner world. The other problem was a perfectly reasonable one imo, you're not going to like your friends frenemy who you don't connect with. Compound that with Paul not taking drugs as much as George or John and being in the other room and you begin to have a division.

Paul had been popular his whole life, like from what we know since-primary-school-popular. He had never been in this position before, let alone in a foreign country. I believe it became a bit of a brutal feedback loop. Paul's response to this type of behaviour consistently it to go more surface level, snide and passive aggressive. The natural response of any group with a designated 'ugh' person is to become more shady and exclusionary. The cycle continues and gets worse. Stu letters back home at this time says that in a shocking turn of events Paul is hated by everyone but Stu 'just feels sorry for him' (lmao OF COURSE you do Stu, its giving 'loathing' from Wicked lol). Klaus drew a lot of artwork of the early Hamburg Beatles that includes this highly unpleasant picture of Paul in 1961 which I think says a lot:

Klaus is also a musician and fancies himself a place on bass. When Stu leaves to pursue art, Klaus asks John if he could take over but John says that he thinks Paul is going to do it.

Klaus has later gone on to say that he thinks he was a better bass player for the Beatles' sound at the start and then Paul developed into being better for the group. It's one of those I cannot believe those words actually left your mouth and you are not deeply embarrased moments. But it's important to keep this desire and viewpoint in mind.

Klaus stays in touch with all of them and close to John and George, George especially. They visit Klaus on holiday in tenerife in early 60s and Klaus later draws the Revolver artwork.

This whole context of how they met and Hamburg is crucial and has to be taken into account when hearing Klaus' statements. Klaus and Paul started off with a lack of connection and with Paul on the outs, the Exsis got an incomplete view of Paul and an inaccurate snapshot of the Beatles dynamic overall. This is why when Klaus says 'Paul was always slightly apart from the others' and that 'divorce was inevitable' from early 60s we should remember that that is what Klaus is expecting to see as that's what he saw in Hamburg.

Klaus wanted to be the bass player (and was holding out hope to join a band with George and John in the 70s), was really close with George and suffers as many did with 'John Lennon aspiring boy bestie syndrome' (JABBS). Paul had what Klaus wanted and from the Hamburg experience, you could see why Klaus thought he might have an in and may have been jealous of this 'shallow' Paul of all people having the connection that he felt he should/could have with John and George. As with most sufferers of JABBS, he took John's side with everything, always refused to say any regrets about his involvement in How do you Sleep and thought Paul was fine with the song because 'he was even closer to John than [he] was. (Again Klaus to put yourself in that level of closeness with John that it's comparable to Paul is ???.) JABBS and its secondary condition PMIETGSH (Paul McCartney isn't even that good shut up) are virulent diseases that incapacitate sufferers objectivity and judgement, so it's fair to say that Klaus is a source you have to take with a pinch of salt on the early 70s period.

It seems that Klaus and Paul did get on a lot better the older they got (probably without the jealousy complication of George and John) and developed a sweet friendship. Here is Klaus' tribute to Paul for his 80th:

Here is the jam session he's talking about:

He now wants Paul to live in his house lmao so things have gotten warmer. But Klaus and Paul's dynamic is a great example of how and why natural bias, little jealousies and spats can consciously or subconsciously influence our internal narrative and why we need to be so careful about not taking one perspective as gospel.

[yllwjktscult]

(Un)lucky- a blessing or a curse? pt.2/?. A yellowjackets fanfic

!!!disclaimer- english is NOT my native language so there for sure will be grammar mistakes!!!

part one -> here

playlist for this story -> here

WC: 3,9k (short-ish chapter because i decided to cut it short so its not THAT heavy, however the next one is long AS FUCK, more from past and more interaction with yj (really sad interaction). And tbh, this part is little shitty:/ so im sorry if its not good, SWEAR next one will be better!!)

TW: abortion, teen pregnancy, unwanted sex, suicide attempt, psych ward, depression mentioned, once again, this ff is TW itself

tw for abortion and unwanted sex will be told in time, so you can skip that part 🫶🏻

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

Its been couple of weeks since Lottie visited you in psych ward.

It was shock to everyone that they in fact were alive as you were saying. But of course they would never admit they were wrong. In fact, you cant even blame them. They were just doing what they thought was the best for you.

You dont feel hate, you dont feel angry, you dont feel anything. Just emptiness.

For months you were "abused" to believe you are crazy and went thru a lot of procedures that are 100% illegal, but it helped you.

Did it ruined you completely? yes.

But on the other hand, you are free. You are free from emotions, you are numb.

A win is a win you guessed.

"Well.. how are you feeling today?" one of your therapists that you have been seeing for the last year asked you as you were sitting in front of him on a chair.

"The usual" you answered shortly not looking at him.

The therapist looked at you and then back into his files and cleared his throat "So.. nothing?" he asked and looked at you, fixing his glasses.

You just noded.

You werent lying, you truly felt nothing. You dont even have thoughts anymore, theres nothing in your head. You dont know if its because they fried your brain for weeks or from all those medication, but theres truly no thoughts in your head for months now, you assumed.

He just hummed.

"How do you feel about your friends being alive and back?" he asked gently, he knew theres a possibility of you being triggered.

But it didnt trigger you at all. Your friends are dead. You just continued staring at your lap "They are dead, they died in a plane crash a year ago" you simply said, you learned that phrase like a mantra, and frankly you believed that phrase.

He just hummed and wrote something.

"They survived you know? And one of them visited you two weeks ago, her name was Lottie"

For the first time since you sat there which was now 30 minutes you looked at him "N-no, Lottie wasnt there" you said confused before you continued "there WAS a woman, tall, skinny, dark haired and tanned woman... she liked my drawing of my friends" you finished and looked back at your lap "my Lottie died in a plane crash a year ago, shes gone, just like the rest of my friends" you mumbled quietly.

The therapist noded and was little surprised, this was the longest sentence you told him in months.

"How would you react if they were alive?" he asked as he leaned on his table to look at you better and watched your reactions.

You stared at your lap and played with your hands "They died in a plane crash a year ago. They are dead, they are not alive" you said like a mantra.

He just hummed again, resting his head on his clasped hands "Well, i think we are done today" as he said that, a guard walked in and you knew thats your cue to walk out so you did. Side by side with the guard.

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

Unknown to you, outside the psych ward. Your friends who are very much alive and are still struggling to put their mind onto the fact, that their beloved friend who was the sweetest, kindest and the most lovely person on earth ended up like that.

Lottie and Nat are now sitting in your parents house, talking with your parents. Well, technically just with your mom. Your father didnt take it well and he himself fell into solid depression and started drinking his guilt of not being able to protect his child away.

When Lottie and Nat knocked at your parents door, your mother looked at them as if she saw a ghost, trembled and hugged them tightly.

"I- i cant still believe it" your mother told them both as she looked at them, setting two cups of water in front of them.

She sobs and puts a hand over her mouth "Oh my poor baby-" she sobs looking at the roof "my beautiful child". You mother felt guilty, she felt like she didnt do enough to save you. She felt like she didnt do well to protect you.

Your mother looks at them with glossy eyes and smiles gently with love in her eyes.

"Look at you both, you look so mature".

Lottie and Nat shared a glance not knowing what to say. So they just smiled at your mom.

"Umh.. have you visited her recently?" asked Nat and your mothers eyes filled with more tears as she shakes her head.

"No.. no.... Last time i saw her was 2 months ago, when she finally started believing you are dead-" your mother felt a new rush of emotions go thru her "oh GOD- if she waited a little bit, she-" your mother cries "she could be here with us. She could have be herself" your mother says a quick apology as she went to bathroom to cry.

Both Nat and Lottie felt their sadness overtake them. Seeing your mom like that was heartbreaking to them, she was always so kind to them, just like you were, so seeing her this emotional was a bit hard for both of them.

Your mother walks back and looks at Lottie with sad yet curious gaze.

"How does she looks like?" she asked with sad eyes.

Lottie felt her heart break "She.." she bites her lip and sighs "Remember when her cat died? how she looked like back then? make it 10 times worse. She looked so broken, like an empty shell, her eyes were so sad and she lost weight, a lot. She-" Lottie looked up to stop the tears "She looked like lifeless body" Lottie whispered the last sentence.

Your mother just nodded and felt like the worse mother in the world. Her beautiful daughter was suffering and she could do nothing about it.

She lost her daughter the day the yellowjackets were proclaimed dead, and oh.. how she misses her child so much, her child who was the kindest, sweetest and purest soul. Who was all smiley, full of life, full of ideas and was positive despise all the negative things happening to her. You did suffer with depression before, but you had your supportive parents and supportive friends who made it easier to deal with it. Whenever you felt under water, your friends picked up on that and either were with you, or did something with you to keep your thoughts away from you. The same went for your parents.

She smiles at both of them "Im so glad you are both alive" she smiles as she wipes tears away and went to hug them "maybe one day i will get my babygirl back too".

At that, both girls felt their heart break again.

"If you want to, you can go to her room and take something from here. Shes not going back anytime soon.." your mother said sadly.

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

Both girls are now in your room.

Just as they remembered it from multiple visits before. Nat sometimes sneaked here in middle of the night when she didnt wanted to be home, and as well Lottie when she didnt want to be alone. They were always welcomed here by you and your parents. It was their second home after all. Your parents loved them as if they were their own children. Both were always welcomed here.

Both girls noticed the jacket that belonged to Nat and a hoodie that belonged to Lottie being on your chair. They shared a sad look as they both grabbed each clothing.

They both sat at your bed, each holding the piece of clothing that once belonged to them in their hands.

"H-how did that even happened?" asked Nat below a whisper in shaky voice "She was the strongest of us all and now s-shes... she cant even remember her favourite color?" she finished her voice full of disbelief and pain and felt emotions run thru her.

Lottie just stared at the clearly worn hoodie that once was hers in her fingers. Gently playing with the fabric.

"I dont know Nat.. its so unfair. All of it its so unfair. What WE went thru and what she went thru" Lottie said as her gaze went to one of your journals on the table.

Lottie standed up and walked to it, grabbing the black journal book in her slender fingers and looking at Nat. A silent communications between them. They didnt want to invade your privacy, but at the same time, their curiosity what went thru your mind while they were gone was stronger.

So thats what they are doing now, reading your journal from since they went first missing which was in may until your overdose in august.

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

May 17 1996

Its been a few days since their plane went missing. Everyone is saying that they are dead. They are saying the possibility of them being alive is beyond zero. I DONT believe it. I feel them. I feel their connection. I know they are alive, whenever they are. I know they are alive. I just know it..

June 20 1996

Its been a less than a week since they proclaimed them dead.. how can they say THAT? its been JUST a month. Why did they gave up so fast after just one stupid month? How can they say they are dead when they havent found the plane, or their bodies. How can they say that. They dont even know where they are. How they could say that... they are alive, i know it. I know it..

June 22 1996

I slept with another guy today.. i didnt even liked him nor did i even enjoy it. I hated it, i actually hated it. How did i even become like this? i always wanted to have my first time with someone i loved, cared about snd someone who knew me. Someone who brings me comfort snd makes me feel loved, not some stranger i barely knew his name at a collage party i snuck at a month ago when i was drunk out of my mind. How did i become like this? that allows this. When did i become a body for someone to get a release with. When did i started seeking comfort in strangers bed, strangers touch that reminds me THIS is a reality. Reality without my friends.

!TW: mention of unwanted sex!

July 5 1996

I did it again, i met with him again in exchange of buying me alcohol. So what if hes twice my age. So what if he hit me, what if he choked me to death and didnt use protection even when we agreed on a blowjob. So what if i told him to stop when he started taking my clothes off and he didnt listen to me and in fact he become even rougher and meaner. Slapping me hard across the cheek telling me if i wont shut up and be a good girl and listen he will make sure this is the last thing i ever see and feel.

I just closed my eyes and thought of my friends letting him do whatever he wanted to. Which made me feel even worse.

I deserved it. I deserve what he did to me.

I deserve to die.

I deserved everything he did to me.

I deserve even worse.

I dont deserve to be alive.

I dont deserve to live when they are not here.

!!end of tw!!

July 13 1996

I met again with the guy i talked with a year ago at one of the parties in the woods my friends dragged me to. His name is Damian, hes at college and hes actually very sweet and kind. He found me crying after another 'fun' time with the old guy.

Instead of taking advantages of me, Damian actually talked with me until morning. Taking his jacket off and pulling it over my shoulders. He listened to me, he didnt judge me and stayed with me until sunrise. He could be with anyone else, yet he stayed with me. Talking to me snd keeping me company.

He is really sweet, he reminds me so much of Lottie... He is tall, has a longer dark curly hair, beautiful big brown eyes, the sweetest and warmest smile and little moustache that actually suits him so much.

Hes the first guy i have felt this comfortable in my life.

July 20 1996

Damian tried to kiss me today.. it would have been a really sweet moment. if i wasnt so broken and so damaged. Thats what i told him, that hes too sweet and nice for me, i dont want to hurt him.. hes everything i wanted. maybe in another universe.. when im not me..

!TW: mention of abortion! :(

July 29 1996

Turns out im pregnant, theres a child growing inside me. Im only 17 i cant be a mother, not a mother of a child i didnt even wanted. A child i couldnt love. A child that wasnt made out of love.

Damian bought me abortion pill, no idea where he got it, but i coulndt thank him enough. I dont want anyone to know about this. Hes actually right now downstairs with my mom making us tea. He said he wants to be with me the whole time. He didnt want me to deal with this alone. He insisted.

I took it an hour ago and DEAR GOD, those cramps are killing me.

I wish they were there with me right now, held me and comforted me the way Damian does.. oh god how much i miss them.. life is so unfair. i miss them so much.. but atleast i have Damian now, im not completely alone..

!end of tw!

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

At this, both girls stoped reading and looked at eachother with wide glossy eyes.

"She was pregnant?!" Lottie asked above a whisper with a broken voice and Nat put a hand over her mouth.

"Oh god.." was all Nat could say, she felt sick after what she read from all those 3 months of period before you got hospitalised. Both wanted to cry. Both wanted to hug you so badly. They knew you went thru a lot, but they even in their worse nightmares did not expect you went thu all of that in just 3 months..

Not only did you became a person of your polar opposite of who you were before, not only did you overdosed, crashed out and fell into a psychosis, you were also carrying a child at some point. A child from a guy who forced himself at you.

Both girls felt emotional. They felt hopeless.

Their friend who they loved, adored and was their sunshine is now so broken and they finally understand why.

"We need to find Damian, they seemed pretty close" said Nat with tears in her eyes. Hugging her jackets that was now yours closer to her.

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

Lucky to them, they didnt have to look that hard, Damian came to your house the same time and day when they were here. In fact, meanwhile they were in your room, he came here. He even tho he didnt have to, visited your mom regularly. Just purely because he loved your mom and he cared about you, a lot.

He was there the whole time after he met you after that night that guy took advantages of you again, when you were slowly killing yourself with how you dealt with your mourning, when you aborted your child, when you overdosed and even when you went to psych ward. He visited you regularly with your mom, but unfortunately, he wasnt able to see you for the last 4 months due to your suicide attempt in here couple weeks before you started believing they are dead. Your parents were the only one allowed, well, your mom. Your father coulndt bring himself to face you, he felt like he failed as a father and couldnt protect his child as he was supposed to. So instead he drunk his sorrow in tons of alcohol. Thats why your mother was able to see you 2 months ago. She couldnt after that, because the psych crew told her you are in unstable state and they need to watch you until you get more stable. Unfortunately when you were getting stable-ish fate decide to test it by bringing your friends back after 19 months of missing and after 19 months of your misery.

"Oh my sweet boy" your mother held Damian cheek as she looked up to him with glossy eyes and he smiled down at her, bringing her into a hug.

Both girls saw this scene as they standed at the end of stair with shock and sadness written all over their faces as they hold the clothing that they lent you and became more yours than theirs in their hands.

"oh WOW- he DOES kinda look like you" Nat mumbles right next to Lottie as they both eyed Damian with wide shocked eyes who held you mom in his embrace. "he kinda does..." whispers Lottie to Nat as they both look at him.

"Dami, i want you to meet Natalie and Lottie" your mother held his upper arm as she turned around to face them.

Damian eyes gazed at them, his smile fading a little bit as he looked at them and sadness flashing all over him "Hi" he said sweetly and waved at them. He would hug them as a greeting, but he thought it would be weird. They dont know him, however he knows a lot about them, because you yapped his ear off about your friends, especially those two.

Both girls said a soft hi, still kind of in disbelief. Their mind going back into what they have read in your diary.

"I think you three have a lot of to talk about" your mom pats Damian chest gently as she looked between the tree of them with a sad smile.

"I will make you all tea" your mom finished as she walked to kitchen, preparing a tea.

"So.. you are Damian huh?" asked Nat, still eyeing him and still little dazed that he truly have resembles to the tall brunette next to her.

Damian just smiles at them politely and nods. Still not unsure how he should act near them.

"You were with her the whole time, when she.." Nat trails off not sure how to say it, but hoping he catches on that. And he did, you did tell him that Nat was the type to ask straightforward without beating around the bush.

"Oh yeah.." said Damian with a sigh "she was hurting herself in way more many ways that others could see. She was drinking, using drugs, self harming, not sleeping for days and sleeping with guys that were so horrible to her. I didnt know her as much as you guys did. But i know she deserved better than highschool burnouts or guys twice her age who are drug dealers" he said as he crossed his arms over his chest as he looked to a side "she was kinda getting better" he smiled softly but his smile fades as fast as it came "if that fucking old idiot didnt spike her drink-" he clenched his jaw at the memory "if only he didnt spike it with ketamine, she-" he sighs as he looks up to the roof and his hands leaves his chest, now being next to his sides "she could still be here, with us and we wouldnt meet under those circumstances" he smiles again, very gently in a nostalgic way "You know.. she talked about you a lot" he chuckles and looks at them both with a gentle gaze.

"I was the first person who let her talk freely, without judging her. I could see it in her eyes how much she wanted to talk about it and i was more than happy to listen" he says as his eyes softens "she really did love you so much" he chuckles "i have never met someone who loved their friends as much as she loved you".

Both girls felt soft upon hearing that. The love they had for you only grew and as well the sadness in their chest.

You mom went to them "The tea is ready" she smiles at all of them "cmon kids, lets talk"

And thats what they are doing now, all four of them, around a table and talking while sipping a tea your mom made for all of them. Damian telling both Lottie and Nat how it was and your mom with Damian by her side as well. Damian brings her some sort of comfort. A familiarity in the chaos.

The girls felt sad upon hearing all of that, knowing they will have to retell the whole thing to others. They asked about the diary and if your mom read it adn she admit she did. She felt heartbroken over the fact you felt scared to tell her you were carrying a child and how she was glad Damian was with you when you decided to not keep it.

Damian talked about how it was and how it hurt him to see you so hurt and how in that moment he decided to be there for you even as a replacement of your friends. He knew he could never reach the comfort of your friends, but he truly did care about you, after you told him, that you are too broken and too damaged for him after he tried to kiss you, he decided to push his feelings aside and be there for you as a friend, or as an older brother. He just wanted to be there for you. No matter what. He cared about you, and even if you saw yourself as a failure, too damaged, too broken and useless, he saw how strong you really are, you were still beautiful in his eyes. Even after everything.

Thank you all for reading❤️‍🩹

and special thanks to those amazing supportive people @theworldscalamity @mitzihold @zhivaxo 🫶🏻 hope are having a good day

(if you want to be add to the tagging lmk❤️‍🩹)

Damian 🌻 (just pretend he looks like Lottie)

[kurishiri]

i’m really curious to hear what made you like alfons so much!! what was your first impression? what made you LIKE him? pls tell us 👀

i personally did not care thaaat much about him tbh idk i felt kinda iffy about him but when i saw his crazy face for the first time he honestly immediately went up a few ranks lol

i also discovered your blog shortly after elbert’s route was released and honestly that made me collect story tickets and AP like crazy in order to binge read through his route because i started to like him even more thanks to your translations!! <3

hii anon! sorry for the late reply! first of all, ty for reading my translations! im glad you could like him more through them too- its such a compliment to me 🥹🫶 i hope you may also enjoy any other translations i post too hehe

but ho boy. my first impression of him was .. actually not all that positive 😅✌️

alfons ramble below (long ish), not spoiler free orz ↓

i didnt really like how shallow he seemed ig ,, it almost seemed like he was belittling kate sometimes even with the way he spoke and idk it kinda rubbed me off the wrong way. like at least with jude, he doesnt really use pretty words as insults yk. hes honest and direct at least, so i could take jude more than alfons.

that said, i think what started to boost him up for me was how funny he was. his humor is right up my alley. like he will snatch something, knowing hes doing so, and then when questioned he will pretend he will not know and try to put the blame on roger or smth .. or like hes just got that dramatic flair, yk. and eventually i started finding it amusing that he would speak so politely, but then say stuff thats not so befitting of his “noble” status lmao and when i translate alfons, i do try to take this into consideration, bc in jp the gap between the words he speaks and the way he speaks is indeed a part of his humor! and i wanted to convey that in english.

but i think when i realized he is quite literally the most doomed by the narrative, and reading his main story and just truly understanding the character that lies beneath his facade made me fall in love with him 😭🤍 in reality, he falls pretty fast and pretty hard for kate, and he puts her first so much, he wouldnt mind getting hurt himself .. and just his development of finding a sense of comfort in reality with kate and learning to be more selfish with his own desires. the grave realization he has when he made a mistake and had let kate too close to his heart too after he had so much genuine fun with kate .. like ho alfons did you at least kith the rock before throwing at me? kith the knife before twisting it in my heart? anyway its angsty and just all really beautiful to me. and the way he so deeply desires a connection with someone, but doesnt want to burden anyone else with his curse so he feels he has to put distance .. i live for the pain and angst ueuueueu

oh and dark if! omg ong dark lwk had me in a chokehold bc wdym al keeps visiting an unconscious kate in reality to keep giving her a happy dream bc she would have a pained look on her face despite not knowing who kate is in this world 😭😭 i dont see enough ppl talking ab al’s route in that event like PLEASE the parallels between dark if and his main story has me on my knees. like how kate forgets alfons after being killed over and over in the fairytale world but has a feeling she falls in love with someone, or how when kate is on the verge of death, she makes a bet with alfons (with it being vice versa in the main story — just like a mirror!) god knows im weak for parallelism

and i think he is one of the most complex characters in the ikevil cast. i lovee the irony borne from his character that sex is used in his main story to create distance between himself and kate rather than connection. ofc this changes over time, but like in the beginning it seems that this is the case. and just how deeply his trauma affects him but still wants to help others too. al the man that you are ..

anyway sorry for my incoherent rambling but live laugh love alfons sylvatica 🪞✨✨

[juyeonszn]

NECTAR

PAIRING kim sunwoo x f!reader

WORD COUNT 7.14k

GENRES smut ﹒ fluff

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, umm age gap!! reader is like 10 or so years older than sunwoo (it’s never really specified what her exact age is), reader is also eric’s older sister, there’s a bit of spanish thrown in here lol they’re in mexico for vacation what did u expect, sun eric and hak are professional baseball players, there’s a scene where a waitress is kinda icky to reader bc she’s older, i think mentions of alcohol, sunwoo is down BAD down bad to the point of no return it’s crazy, he’s also a horny impatient little shit, soft dom!sunwoo ig idk, oral (m! & f! receiving), face fucking, handjob ish, a little bit of hair pulling, vaginal fingering, So Much Praise, UNPROTECTED SEX pls be safe!!, edging, delayed orgasm kinda, missionary position, creampie, aftercare :P, the last scene is so cute and disgusting i hate couples

SUMMARY despite being nearly a decade older than him, sunwoo’s always had his eyes on you. so when your younger brother invites you to join them on vacation, you fall right into his trap. you can’t really blame him for finally taking the bait after all these years.

MORE woah hey again 😋 this one isn’t as wild as the hyunjae fic, but it has its moments LOLL if u ever read my warnings about this when it was on my wip list, then u know that this was actually an old fic back from when i wrote for anime 😭 i changed a lot tbh but a good chunk of the original plot is still there 👍 i got inspo for the last scene from a tumblr quote my irl posted on instagram isn’t that crazy anyway….. enjoy!!

PLAYLIST nectar — wayv, tangerine love (favorite) — nct dream, delicious — the boyz, passion fruit — the boyz, horizon — jaehyun, moonlight sunrise — twice

When you agreed to go with your younger brother on a vacation in Mexico for a week with his friends, you weren’t sure what you were expecting.

You knew your brother’s friends well. They'd gone to high school together and after partly going their separate ways following graduation, decided to go on yearly trips to make up for any lost time. This year, the destinations were the gorgeous beaches of Mexico. Cozumel, Cancun, you name it. You were hitting all the spots.

Those were the luxuries of being the older sister of a professional baseball player.

From the start of your getaway, every single one of your movements felt like they were being watched. Your skin burned with the heat of mocha brown eyes staring at you. Half of you wanted to point it out to Eric, but figured you’d save yourself from the drama. Besides, you were a big girl and two could play at that game.

The first instance took place before you even left for the trip.

You lived about an hour away from Eric and since you were all taking the same flight, you thought it would be more convenient to just ride to the airport together. And because he was closer to the airport, he offered for you to stay at his and Sunwoo’s apartment. Haknyeon would be meeting you there due to prior engagements with his own team.

When you arrived at your brother’s place, you immediately regretted it. You hadn’t called before going over and Eric happened to be out, leaving you alone with Sunwoo. There was nothing wrong with him, you just hadn’t seen him in a couple years and you were afraid of it being awkward.

The younger male helped you bring your things inside, huffing when he dropped your suitcases in the guest bedroom. He wipes away imaginary sweat from his forehead, blowing out a raspberry as he turns to face you.

“Did you pack bricks in there? Why the fuck was that so heavy?”

You laugh. Sunwoo had always been quite the clown as long as you’d known him. “I’m a girl, what did you expect? We never pack lightly.”

“You can say that again,” he snorts, twisting his torso to pop his back. “Uh, are you hungry? We have some leftover takeout in the fridge ‘cause you know damn well neither of us know how to cook.”

Before you can respond, you’re distracted by the sight of him raising his arms to stretch, his t-shirt riding up to show a sliver of his abdomen. From the way his slender fingers lock above his head to the taut skin peeking behind the fabric, you’re entranced. Your brain finally comprehends the fact that Kim Sunwoo was no longer a teenage boy, but rather a grown man.

He clears his throat, breaking your trance and forcing you to stop staring. Your cheeks flush slightly as you attempt to hide the embarrassment flooding your features. His lips are pulled into a smug grin, making you aware that he caught you. He doesn’t say anything though, keeping the cocky smirk as he leaves the room. (Presumably to go to the kitchen.)

With hefty feet, you drag yourself to follow. He’s already warming up the leftovers for you as you take a seat at the island barstool, resting your chin on your palm and your elbows on the counter. Your moment from a few minutes ago is long forgotten as you become transfixed by him on the other side of the island.

It’s weird for you to think about how much Eric has matured, coming from an older sister’s point of view. But having that same realization for Sunwoo is a completely different can of worms. You watch as he extracts the container out of the microwave and opens a drawer beside him to grab a pair of chopsticks simultaneously, all without skipping a beat.

He spins on his heels to place the food in front of you, pausing when he notices that you’re staring at him again. The glint in your eyes was more wholesome than before and it made his heart stutter in his chest. He slides the container across the surface of the island, leaning closer to you.

It was almost like your gaze trapped him in a spell, taking over his actions and drawing him towards you like a magnet. He’s never wanted you as much as he did right now, seeing you in his home, sitting on the stool in his kitchen. Your eyes widen when you’ve snapped back to reality.

Before he can do anything, the sound of the front door unlocking stops him and he’s stepping away to tidy up his mess as if nothing happened. Eric comes in to greet you happily and life continues on just as it had prior to Sunwoo leaning into your personal space. He acts like it never occurred, laughing along at a stupid joke your brother made.

And for some reason, you thought he would keep pretending nothing happened. What a rude awakening you were in for.

It’s a couple days into your trip and you were sitting on a lounge chair poolside, while Eric and Haknyeon had gone to get drinks. Sunwoo placed himself in the seat next to you, his sculpted chest and torso gleaming in all their tanned glory.

He knew it was wrong of him to pine after his best friend’s sister, but how could he not? There was something about your maturity that drove him crazy. But even if you ignored that, anyone who could see would find you stunningly gorgeous. The sight of you scantily clad in a bikini was enough to make the strongest men weak.

Perhaps it was also the thrill that you were nearly a decade older than him.

At this point, you weren’t sure if the warmth engulfing your body was from the sun or the brunette’s intense gaze, but you want to push your luck, the incident at the apartment still fresh on your mind.

“Sunwoo? Do you mind putting some sunscreen on my back for me?” You ask innocently, grasping the base of the tube firmly. His tongue darts out and swipes across his lips.

She knows what she’s doing, he thinks to himself.

“Yeah, s’no problem,” he responds cooly, standing from his chair to sit behind you on yours.

You’re borderline on his lap, so close that you can feel his breath on your neck. Just to fuck with him some more, you reach behind yourself to untie your swim suit top.

You’ve been on this playing field long enough to know when a man wants you, but you’ve never been an easy target. It was like a game of cat and mouse for you. Right when they think they’ve got you, you always seem to be three steps ahead.

This little chase that you were leading Sunwoo on wasn’t any different.

His fingers dance dangerously low on your back, working the lotion into your skin wonderfully. As you’ve gotten older, your body has undoubtedly changed. The fat of your thighs was far more than it was when you were in your early twenties/late teens. Your stomach was lined with stretch marks, no two the same. But even so, you remained ever confident. You wouldn’t put up with anyone who wouldn’t agree that your so-called ‘imperfections’ were beautiful.

After a few minutes, once the trap had been set, you tied your bathing suit back. The ghost of his skilled fingers lingered as you stood from the lounge chair, spotting your brother and Haknyeon walking back.

The brunette had never been denied before. He got what he wanted without fail, and he’d be damned if this was the one outlier. He’d just have to prove to you that even though he was younger, he was more of a man than any you’d ever been with. And that was a promise.

Later that evening, the four of you had gone to your respective rooms to shower and get ready for dinner. Luckily, Eric had used his brain for something good and reserved separate hotel rooms for each of you. ‘Just in case,’ he’d said.

You did the finishing touches of your makeup and checked your phone, finding a text from your brother.

[8:07] eric: we’re all in the lobby

[8:07] eric: just waiting on u

[8:07] eric: but take ur time dear sister pls don’t rush on our account

[8:08] eric: it’s not like we have an uber waiting for us or anything

[8:08] eric: note the sarcasm btw

You roll your eyes as you grab your purse, tossing the device inside. Who was he to talk about how long it took you to get ready? You were in your thirties and you were not about to be bossed around by your little brother. Back when he was still in high school, you were the one telling him to speed up his morning process.

Your dad had gotten a job halfway across the country right before his second year and it crushed him. You remember how upset he was when they broke the news, the thought of packing up his entire life and leaving all of his friends stung. So instead, you got a well paying job and bought a two bedroom apartment for the both of you, that way he could stay and finish out the rest of high school. You made some sacrifices, sure, but you were practically done experimenting in your life. You were in your late twenties by this point, what more was there to do? You’d already graduated from university so helping out your brother was doing everyone a favor.

After living together for nearly three years, you and Eric had grown a lot closer. With such an age difference, it’d been difficult to relate to one another and bond over certain things. When he’d discovered a new phase to go through, you had moved past it years prior. You were always just out of reach from each other until then. It was like the universe itself was trying to bring you together.

Even now, both of you much older, he still calls and asks to come over to your place so he can hang out. You meant just as much to him as he did to you.

The elevator dings, opening so you can stroll towards the group of young men waiting for you. Right when they caught sight of you, you started making your way to the Uber parked under the carport outside of the hotel.

The drive to the restaurant was silent, but you could feel an intense gaze on your form. Purposefully, you’d worn your most revealing outfit. A nice tight dress to hug your matured body and some skinny heels to elongate your legs. You were thankful that your brother wasn’t the type to be overly protective, well aware that his older sister could carry her own by now. However, you think even Haknyeon had started to pick up on your actions and the unspoken tension between you and Sunwoo.

You arrived at your location for the evening, stepping out of the car gracefully. You received multiple stares from other patrons and even a few employees. You weren’t sure if it was because you were just that drop dead gorgeous, or if it was another reason entirely. Maybe they were wondering what three men who looked as young as they did, were doing with an older woman such as yourself.

You don’t have to dwell on it for too long, a host showing the four of you to a booth almost immediately. Shout out to Eric and Sunwoo for having connections.

The seating arrangement ends up with you and Sunwoo on one side, Haknyeon and Eric on the other. You had a feeling this was not a good idea. They’d dropped you right where he wanted.

When the waitress comes to take your drink order, you feel the toasty warmth of a hand on your thigh, nearly tripping you up as you point out a margarita on the rocks from the menu. After she jots everything down, she taps her pen against the tablet. She then gestures between your party.

“Are any of you dating?” she asks curiously, eyeing you with a quirk to her brow. To anyone else, it’s a normal question. Eric, Haknyeon, and Sunwoo were indeed good looking guys. (One of them was your brother, of course he was attractive— where do you think he got it from?) But you could see right through her fake act. She had to have recognized the three baseball players.

“Haha, no actually. She’s my sister.” Eric chuckles, pointing at you with his thumb. She narrows her eyes momentarily before covering it up with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Ah, tú hermana.” She tries to laugh off, but when the boys furrow their eyebrows, she realizes it fell upon deaf ears. You fight the urge to burst into laughter at how stupid they were.

“She said ‘your sister’ in Spanish. Idiots, I swear.” You explain to the still confused table. They let out a chorus of ‘ohhhh’s in response. Learning Spanish was something you’re glad you did, seeing as you sometimes needed to translate during your trip. You would definitely hold it over them when you got back.

The waitress seems to notice how close you and Sunwoo are sitting, but doesn’t call you out on it. While the other two are oblivious to her fixation, the brunette catches on quickly, squeezing the inside of your thigh as she continues her silly little version of twenty questions.

“Cuantos años tienes?” She asks you personally, realizing that you can understand her. What ever happened to girls supporting girls?

“How old are you?”

“En mis treinta.” You answer without hesitation, not exactly telling her for the sake of your own satisfaction. The press of Sunwoo’s fingers trails upward, causing you to shift uncomfortably.

“In my thirties.”

You can sense that she wants to say something snarky to you, her opposition to your age clear as glass, but she chooses not to. Whether that’s because she wants to seem like a good person in front of the boys or otherwise, you couldn’t care less. As long as you hadn’t been disrespected. And you knew if you were, Eric and the guys would jump to defend you with all their beings.

After what feels like a millennium, she finally leaves you alone, even going to the extent of switching tables with another waitress. Was that even allowed? You’re not entirely sure, but at least you didn’t have to deal with someone rude.

The majority of the dinner goes smoothly, the drinks and the food tasting unlike anything you’d ever had. Haknyeon couldn’t stop raving about the different flavors he was experiencing. At some point you think he told the waitress to send his thanks to the chef, in true Haknyeon fashion. That was the majority. The rest of the dinner was spent in absolute agony.

A certain baseball player couldn’t keep his hands to himself, eating with one and teasing you with the other. How no one paid any attention to what was happening right in front of them was beyond you. You’d even accidentally whimpered, covering it up by pretending the food was just that good.

The check couldn’t come fast enough, your body betraying you and anticipating getting back to the hotel. Your brother had different plans, claiming that the night was still young and he wanted to have drinks somewhere else. Your disappointment must’ve been obvious, because Sunwoo comes to your rescue.

“Eric, I think your sister’s ready to hit the hay.” He pats the brunette’s shoulder, one hand on his hip.

“Oh we can head back then—“ You interrupt him.

“No no, it’s fine, Eric, I'll be okay on my own. You guys have fun, don’t let me stop you.” You dismiss him. You could get rid of your problem yourself this way. No one to bother—

“I’ll go with you. Someone’s gotta make sure you get to your room safely, N/N. Besides, I'm beat. The sun’s starting to catch up to me.” Sunwoo grins, ruffling your hair. You glare at him, your irritation coming to light for the first time since you’d landed in the country. You’d done so well at acting like he wasn’t affecting you.

“Alright sick! Thanks, Sunwoo! Hak and I will see you tomorrow I guess,” Eric says. He turns to you, hugging your side. “I'll check to see if you’re still awake later.”

And that was that. You and your brother went your separate ways, ordering two Ubers for the pairs you were in.

It took all of about seconds following the ding of the elevator reaching your floor, for Sunwoo’s lips to meet yours. You jump, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, his large palms supporting you from your ass. It was so attractive that he could hold you like this— showing off the muscles he’s built from all his years of playing baseball, a far cry from that scrawny kid you knew when he was younger

He fumbles with his keycard, waving it frantically in front of the sensor. There’s a flash of green and he pushes the door open wide enough to fit the two of you through its threshold. Never once do your mouths disconnect, kissing each other so feverishly it raises the temperature of the room. He kicks the door closed behind him with his foot, pressing you up against the floor to ceiling mirror-wall beside the bathroom. The heat radiating off of your body fogs up the outline of your figure.

Sunwoo can’t seem to get enough of you, groping and grabbing any part of you that he can. You have to admit, you’ve never felt so needed— so wanted— in your life. In the messiness of teeth clashing and tongues tangling, your desperation begins to run rampant. You whine as he tugs at your bottom lip.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, N/N,” his voice is husky and breathy, his soft pants filling your ears. He pecks your bare shoulder affectionately, cupping your right breast in his hand. “How long I’ve been waiting for you to take me seriously… to let me treat you like a real man should.”

His knee nudges itself between your legs, creating some much appreciated friction momentarily, his erection prominent against your thigh.

“I know that you know what you're doing when you dress like this. All slutty and revealing, showing yourself off to everyone,” his mouth hovers over the skin of your neck, goosebumps littering the surface. “But really, you do it for me, huh? You do it on purpose ‘cause you know how crazy it makes me. You know exactly what I’ve been wanting since we got here. That’s my smart girl.”

You can’t help the small moan that erupts from the back of your throat, his words and the wet feeling of his tongue circling the area he had just been sucking on going straight to the excitement pooling in your belly. He smiles mischievously, thumb running over your clothed nipple.

You’d been so lost in pleasure that you hadn’t even realized he’d moved you to the bed, your back on the fluffy white comforter and your thighs spread apart for him. He takes a hold of the back of his collar and removes his shirt in one swift motion, pushing your dress upward afterwards to assist you in discarding it.

His eyes rake your now half-naked body, the fullness of your tits nearly spilling out from the lacy nude strapless bra you were wearing. He drags a finger along your lace covered slit, his lips curling when he watches you shudder underneath his touch.

“Sunwoo, please…”

You don’t even know what you’re begging for, just that you need it. And you need it badly.

“Please, what?” He tsks, now massaging your inner thighs, working you up just like he wants. You pout, hoping to convey the message without pleading. Embarrassment floods your body when you realize he’s not gonna make it easy for you. “Use your words, sweetheart.”

You shut your eyes, hoping to will away the sheer mortification flushing your entire being. “P-please touch me.”

This fuels his ego even further. As if it could get any bigger.

“Open your pretty eyes, baby,” he coos, leaning forward to kiss you. When you obey his request, he hooks his long fingers into the waistband of your panties. “There we go. See, good girls get what they ask for.”

He slides them off, parting your legs immediately. The cool air makes you flinch. The one article of clothing that kept you unexposed was gone now, along with the confident woman from earlier in the day.

He repeats his actions from minutes ago, his pointer finger collecting your slick as it slides through your folds with ease. The squelching sound it makes is horrifying, your shame settling back into place. He kisses the plane of your stomach gently, murmuring into the skin.

“Do you hear that, sweetheart? Do you hear how excited you are for me? There’s no point in trying to hide it anymore.”

Your eyes widen at his words, opening your mouth to say something in retaliation but he takes this opportunity to bury two fingers inside of you. A gasp leaves your throat consequently, your back arching on instinct. It had been a while since a man had set aside time for foreplay. He truly was making good on his word, treating you like a real man should.

He lowers himself, positioning his face in front of your pussy and darts his tongue across his lips before flattening it against your clit. The sensation makes you shiver, though that reaction is nothing compared to what happens next. He curls his fingers inside of you, brushing that certain spongy spot that drives you insane, then begins alternating between kitten licking and sucking on the engorged skin of your clit.

You cry out, hands flying down to tug at his hair and dig your nails into his scalp. He doesn’t appear to mind at all, more like he enjoys it, reveling in the way you’re losing yourself to him slowly but surely. It's a dream come true for him. He's finally getting the opportunity to completely ruin you after waiting for-what-felt-like-ever. Horny, teenage Sunwoo would be jumping for joy over this.

He remembers the first time he met you. Eric had invited him, Haknyeon, and other members of the team over to your shared apartment for a team bonding during their second year. The only thought in his mind upon seeing you was ‘damn, I love older women.’ You were just so sure of yourself, he couldn’t help the tightness in his pants and the thumping in his chest.

And those feelings never seemed to fade.

In fact, it appeared that they grew with time. He’d dated other girls since then, especially because he was so popular in high school and in university. Yet for some reason he could never quite pinpoint, things never worked out. They just didn’t feel like the one for him, so he’d end the relationship before anyone got hurt more than they had to. Then the yearly trip would happen and Eric would update him on your life and his crush on you would come rushing back to him.

Even when you’d gotten engaged a few years ago, nothing could stop the way his heart beat only for you and you alone. He didn’t really like the dude all that much, but expressed support for you anyway because he wanted you to be happy. After Eric told him that he broke off the engagement to pursue someone else, Sunwoo just about lost it. He wanted to hunt the guy down himself. He couldn’t fathom how one could just throw away the once in a lifetime opportunity of calling you his. You deserved the world and so much more.

Everything resurfaces and it’s evident in the way his fingers dive even deeper inside of you, his appendage lapping mercilessly at your aching clit. You don’t question him even if you wanted to, your entire body feeling like it’s on cloud 9. He takes a break from licking and sucks at the sweet spot harshly, ripping out a prolonged moan from your lips.

Your release is in your field of vision now, so close that you can nearly taste it. You attempt to buck your hips up into his mouth to chase what you’re yearning for. He senses exactly what’s happening, so he slows his assault, much to your aggravation. You can’t even help the pleas that tumble from the back of your throat.

“No no no no, please,” you sit up, your hands still intertwined with his messy brown locks. “Sun, please… why’d you stop?”

His smile is almost conniving, you swear you can see his canines peeking through. He hovers above you, caging you between his torso and the bed. “You've been having all the fun, so now I think it’s time I have some, too.”

You’re about to ask what he means, when he steps back to undo his belt and zipper, pushing down his pants in record speed. Even through the black material of his (expensive looking) briefs, you can tell he’s well endowed. You rub your legs together, still sensitive from being deprived of your orgasm, and your hunger for all of him increases immensely.

“Eager, are we?” He chuckles, switching places with you. He sits at the edge of the bed, his legs open enough for you to fit between them. You bite your bottom lip, gripping each of his muscular thighs. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to get crushed by them. It sure would be a hell of a way to die.

He leans back onto his palms, bunching up the sheets in his fists. You move forward to press your mouths in a searing kiss, cupping his clothed erection in your hand. He groans as his teeth nearly gnash with yours. You seize the chance to discard his underwear and massage his cock. The warmth and length of it makes your mouth water, almost whimpering at how flushed it is. You can tell that he’s painfully hard in the way he’s extremely responsive to all of your touches. You swipe your thumb over his slit, collecting the pre cum that’s formed there.

After deciding that enough is enough, he parts from you in favor of ordering you to get on your knees. You maintain eye contact as you wrap your lips around him, the nerves you’d been feeling all night finally washing off. Your tongue swirls around the tip a few times before it licks a broad line from the base back up along the underside. You take him down your throat this time, massaging his balls as you do so. Your cheeks hollow out as you bob your head, your hands jerking what you can’t fit.

An erratic knock at the door startles both of you and you’re about to remove yourself from him, but he keeps you there with a large hand, urging you to continue. You listen reluctantly, assuming the person would just go away if you ignored them.

However, the knock comes again moments later. Sunwoo looks down at you. His eyes tell you all you need to know, so you don’t stop.

“Sunwoo! Hey, have you seen my sister? She’s not in her room.”

You practically choke on him at the sound of your brother’s voice, but he still doesn’t let you pause. His attention doesn’t leave you as he replies.

“Uh yeah, she’s borrowing my shower. Hers wasn’t working.” He lies. His eyes bore into yours intensely, the knowledge that he had Eric’s hot older sister right here in front of him on her knees shrouding his mind.

The brunette outside seems to find that answer sufficient enough and doesn’t interrogate further. “Okay, cool. Just tell her to text me when she gets back to her room.”

“You got it.”

His footsteps can be heard padding against the carpet of the hallway as he walks away.

Your nose brushes against the hair at the base of his cock before he cups your cheeks and lifts your mouth off of him. You take in a deep breath, keeping your hands on his dick firmly. As you regain your breathing, you leave kisses all over, starting at the tip and ending down the shaft. You feel him shudder beneath you, a satisfaction coming from knowing that you’re the one who has him so weak.

You had Kim Sunwoo wrapped around your pretty little finger.

Unbeknownst to you, that’d always been the case. Since day one. But it didn’t matter at the moment. All that either of you cared about right now was wrecking each other.

He slides his cock down your throat again, loving the sight of you getting face fucked by him. You moan around him, the vibrations causing him to grasp at your hair tightly, though you don’t mind the sting either.

“You look so gorgeous like this, sweetheart. Your lips look so pretty wrapped around me. Can’t wait until I’m inside you,” he hisses when your tongue runs over his slit. “You want me to fuck you into the mattress? Until you can’t even remember your own name?”

You release him from your lips once more, nodding frantically. It’s almost pathetic how needy you are for him, your brother’s best friend, someone nearly ten years younger than yourself. “Yes, please, Sunwoo. I want you so bad. I want you to fuck me so hard, I can’t walk properly.”

His smirk from your pleads is ungodly. He swipes his thumb across your bottom lip, pinching it between his fingers before he pulls you up to kiss you roughly. Even though he has this big dominant act up on display, you know he wants you just as much. And he conveys it in the desperate way he moves his mouth against yours with such fervor.

After a few minutes, both of you get sick of wasting time and he flips you around so you’re on your back. He nips at your neck, whispering dirtily as he pumps himself in his hands.

“The only thing I want on your mind is me, you got that?” He lines his dick up with your hole, nibbling on your earlobe while he does so. “The name Kim Sunwoo is gonna be engraved in your fucking brain after tonight.”

Without any semblance of a warning, he pushes himself in, giving you no time for adjustment. His cock fills you up nicely, better than you’ve ever been before, and the feeling alone rips a particularly loud moan out of you. “Oh my god, Sun. Y-you're so big and your cock f-feels so g-good. So s-so good.”

“You’re so tight, your pussy is squeezing me. You gonna cream on my dick?”

He gives you another one of those sly grins, where it’s almost like he’s baring his canines to you, and you swear you’ve never wanted to be ruined as much as you do now.

His pace is unrelenting, nothing but sheer power going into every thrust of his hips. His cock hits places deep inside that you didn’t know existed. It amazes you how much stamina he has and it doesn’t appear like he’s letting up any time soon.

“Sunwoo, just like that— f-fuck yes— right there,”

“Look at you, Y/N, so fucking messy and all because of me.”

He hooks one of your knees on his shoulder, plunging even further into your pussy. The mewl you release is voluminous, enough to wake up anyone in the rooms surrounding his. One of his hands holds your leg in place while the other travels south, gripping your side and using his thumb to vigorously circle your clit.

The added stimulation is just what you need to nudge you closer to your tipping point, what you were deprived of earlier. He, of course, notices that and stops his attack with his finger. You whine in protest, not wanting to deal with his teasing again right now.

You open your mouth to express your distaste at the same moment he rolls his hips experimentally. So instead of complaining about his edging, you let out a choked groan.

“Sunwoo, please, let me cum. Please, I'm begging. I need to.” You hate that you’re in this position, but you can’t hold out much longer. Fatigue is catching up to you and if you don’t cum soon, you might pass out.

“You wanna cum, baby? You want me to let you cum?” He all but growls in your ear. You moan wantonly in response, quickly becoming a babbling mess. “I think you can wait a bit longer. Take it like a big girl, yeah?”

Your other leg wraps around his waist, allowing his already buried cock to kiss at your cervix. The new angle is unhinged, short circuiting your brain. Discarding any thought behind your actions, moving on autopilot, you pull him down to press your mouths together.

The combination of passion and pure lust drives both of you wild, fueling your desires. His lips part from yours and he moans breathily as you clench down on him, the exhale fanning over the lower part of your face. The sound is unlike anything you’ve heard before and you’d do just about anything to hear it again. The brunette was completely unaware of the effects he had on you, something as simple as a noise kicking you into high gear.

But it seems even he’s reaching his limits, not able to hold himself back anymore. In an attempt to finish you both off quickly, he brutalizes each piston of his pelvis. Your nails sink into his shoulders.

“F-fuck— S-Sunwoo I’m gonna— I’m gonna cum— so fucking—“

His thumb finds its way back to your clit and resumes its previous attack, the other circling around a peaked nipple, cutting you off. You arch into him, trying to bring the two of you impossibly closer. His cock rams in and out of you almost inhumanely at the rate he was going. With one particularly harsh thrust, he commands,

“Cum for me, sweetheart.”

The words send you overboard and you release around him, simultaneously gripping him like a vice and moaning so pornographically, you kind of feel bad for everyone else staying on this floor. Your whole body spasms with your orgasm, hushed moans falling from your swollen lips. Seconds later the twitch of his dick alerts you as he follows, filling you up with the warmth of his own cum. Had he not still been inside you, you were certain it’d flow right out, something akin to Niagara Falls. But you’re both too busy trying to catch your breaths to really pay attention to any of that extra stuff.

The ache was settling in your bones instantaneously, and you half-regretted encouraging him to ‘fuck you so hard you couldn’t walk properly’.

After what feels like an eternity, he slowly pulls out his softening cock, your pussy clenching at nothing and feeling empty as he presses a soft peck on the tip of your nose, his dominant personality dissipating along with it.

The moment feels strangely domestic, his coos of praise and the worry that he was too rough with you not flying over your head. Things like ‘you did so well, sweetheart’, ‘I’m so proud of you, baby’, and ‘your pussy was made for my cock’ floated around the air. He caressed your belly with one hand and your hair with the other before pulling himself away from you fully.

“Let me go get you a towel,” he smiles warmly, disappearing into the bathroom he told your brother you were borrowing. When he comes back, he has a fresh pair of briefs on and a damp washcloth on his forearm. “You know, I‘ve had the biggest crush on you since high school. The moment Eric introduced us, I practically fell in love.”

He carefully cleans up your cum covered thighs, weary of how sensitive you are. It dawns on him that you’re fighting back your sleep, but he also realizes that you can’t stay in his room, running the risk of being compromised and Eric finding out. He helps you into a sitting position and leads you to the bath.

He washes your hair and body for you, increasing the overwhelming amount of domesticity that you already started to feel. Even with his admission, you didn’t want to assume that this was something he really wanted. You’d made that mistake before, with your asshole of an ex fiancé, and you couldn’t stomach the thought of that happening with him. He was a young, hot professional baseball player. Why would he want to be tied down to you?

With a towel wrapped tightly around your body and your clothes draped over a shoulder, he aids you in your sneaky trip to your own hotel room. You fumble a bit with the key card, nervous under his gaze for some reason. When you finally get it open, you hurriedly enter, desperate to get away from him to avoid small talk. You were a grown ass woman and here you were, acting like a petulant child.

He reaches for your wrist and stops you prior to getting too far past the door frame. “Hey, hey, what’s the matter? Why won't you look at me? Did— did I do something wrong?”

“N-no! You didn’t. I just— I don't wanna misinterpret the situation...” You betray yourself and look him in the eyes, nearly melting at the soft chocolate color staring right back. He leans forward to kiss you on the lips. It isn’t rushed or forceful like any of the others from earlier in the night. It’s more like the loving one he placed on your nose. It conveys exactly what he wants to say, but can’t put into words, and rids of your doubts all at once. You instinctively shut your eyes, a smile working its way across your face.

“I’ll see you in the morning, sweetheart. Goodnight,” is what he leaves you with, scampering off to his room.

You bring your fingers up to your lips, the stupid grin not disappearing. He wasn’t kidding when he said the name Kim Sunwoo would be engraved in your brain tonight.

The next day, the four of you visit one of the beaches. You chuckle to yourself as you observe Eric and Haknyeon attempting to skimboard, but failing miserably. Your brother flies forward when his board skids to a stop and he stumbles a bit before regaining his bearings. The older laughs at him, hunching over and clutching his stomach as he does so.

Your eyes stay on them for a bit, but your head turns at the sound of footsteps approaching you and the beach towel you were sitting on. You finally glance over when a grunt fills your ears over the crashing waves. Sunwoo leans back onto his palms, sunglasses perched on top of his head. The goods you wanted were set between you, a bag nearly full to the brim with mandarin oranges.

On your way to the beach, you passed a vendor on the street selling different fruits. Among said fruits were the mandarins that caught your attention. You pouted when you realized you left your purse at the hotel, only having your I.D. on you. Being absolutely smitten with you and having no self control, Sunwoo made a promise to himself to come back when you were least expecting to buy you as many as he physically could. (Gift giving was one of his love languages.)

He smiles as your eyes light up like a Christmas tree in August, instinctively reaching for one of the oranges. You bring it up to your nose to smell the faint citrusy scent of the rind, humming contentedly afterwards. With the summer breeze blowing through your hair, the humidity painting your cheeks rosy and the sun behind you giving you a halo-like glow, you look like a scene ripped straight from a movie. Sunwoo feels like the most fortunate guy in the world knowing that he’s the only person who gets to see you like this, committing the visual to memory so he can look back on it whenever he pleases.

He decides that he could die right here right now, and he’d be satisfied with his life. He can already see it, his headstone; Rest in Peace Kim Sunwoo, 2000-2023.

You slowly start to peel the mandarin, each corner of your lips curled upwards. You pop a piece into your mouth, closing your eyes and savoring the taste of its nectar. Without pausing to think about it, you scoot closer to Sunwoo, feeding him some of the orange. A small giggle escapes the back of your throat when he smiles again, this time at how much more comfortable you are with him. (And also how yummy the mandarin is.)

“It almost tastes as sweet as you.”

He meant for it to be an innocent insinuation, but completely forgot about the fact that it could be misconceived as an innuendo. You slap his shoulder with a gasp because that’s exactly how you took it, and he raises his hands in surrender.

“Woah, I was trying to be cute. You’re the one with the dirty mind.”

You roll your eyes, shoving a few more pieces of mandarin into his mouth to shut him up. “Kim Sunwoo, you’re lucky I like you.”

His cheeks are puffed up with the fruit and he tries to smile at you, his pouty lips making him look a little silly. You press a quick kiss to them, forgetting that you were very much in public. He turns to you with eyes like a deer caught in headlights.

“What if Eric sees?” He swallows thickly.

You shake your head. “Let him. I’m happy. That’s all he really cares about.”

It befuddles you that just a week ago, you never would’ve thought this could happen. A week ago, Sunwoo was still that high school boy who stuttered whenever he spoke to you and came over to yours and Eric’s apartment every day after school. A week ago, you were still apprehensive about putting yourself out there, out of fear that you’d just get hurt again. But somehow, Sunwoo managed to change your entire perspective. And sitting here on this beach towel, feeding him mandarins and giggling at his jokes solidifies that for you.

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[liedownquisition]

A Paltry "Defense" of RHATO (From someone who actually kind of hates RHATO) Part 2

Part 1 (Cheshire, Lian, and recognizing the basis of a reboot), Part 3 (A Generous Take on Intent vs Execution, and Koriand'r)

Disclaimer: I'm not kidding about not liking it yadda yadda yadda and, for further context re: this part in particular. Roy Harper is my second favorite character in the entire DCU, only surpassed by Black Canary herself, so I need you to understand how complicated this one is for me.

Before I really get into it I'd like to add a little bit of extra content that ties the last post to this one, namely this:

This is from This Fan Answers Interview.

I keep seeing posts about Why is "x/y/z hanging out with JASON, they're (Insert other bat but mostly Dick or Tim, tbh)'s friend." Do you guys bitch about this when Wally hangs out with & gets along better with Connor instead of Roy? Or, idk, Kyle's friendship with Roy and relationship with Donna, who is Roy's ex? What about the fact that Damian and Rose struck up a friendship bcs of their similar-ish pasts? The fact that Conner was Tim's friend ("friend"?) first before dating Cass? When Tim was part of the Titans which had membership overlaps with Dick's Titans? When DAMIAN was on the Titans which had membership overlaps with the previous two's teams (barring weird age-fuckery)?

DC is an interconnected universe with all kinds of characters with all kinds of different storylines meeting and hanging out and fighting together esp when there's an overlap of interests/work. The "cape" community is fundamentally the same thing as a hobby club, except the hobby is fighting crime (and/or evil which sometimes aren't the same thing). So it's not even weird for people who are friends of a friend or friend of a sibling/ect. to just kind of meet up randomly and organically form their own relationship. Separate from the other people that they know. This is also normal in real life. Seriously do you know how many people I know who are/did date/marry their sibling's best friend? or just generally became better friends with them than the sibling who originally knew them?? or the fact that it's a popular romance trope? Or how many (okay only like, two that I knew personally-ish) people dated and married their sibling's ex-fiancee??? ALSO A NOT TERRIBLY UNCOMMON ROMANCE TROPE? NOT TO MENTION THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL FRIENDS WITH THEIR EX-FIANCE/SPOUSE'S FAMILIES?

Just because people are known for having a specific connection to one character, doesn't mean they can't, or shouldn't, have connections with others. Or, that the connections they do or don't have can change. Y'all're just assholes who are mad someone doesn't play dolls the way you want them to. Grow up. Additionally, this should also apply to Cheshire. She shouldn't always be restricted to Roy & Lian, either. As a child, it's understandable that Lian's everything was largely tied to her parents, but even pre-Rebirth she had her own relationships with, say, Mia or Rose or Dinah. YES those are relationships are somewhat because of Roy, but they're still their own thing.

Now, before I get too into this I want to state that inasfar as RHATO is concerned, Lobdell is not the sole writer throughout its run, and when it comes to analyzing the characters' personalities (as this post is going to focus on Roy), I'm going to analyze them separately. Lobdell's Outlaws are different from Tynion's Outlaws are different from Pfeiffer's brief run with the Outlaws. And I'm going to focus mostly on Lobdell, because he's the one everyone always gets mad about, but Tynion holds enough blame (and my ire) to get a decent chunk of attention as well.

Without further ado,

FBAT (Frequently Bitched About Topics):

I'd like to start this particular topic (Roy) off with something I see a lot and that, after reading, I've discovered is so very patently false that I made a meme about it too:

"It's Jason's fault Roy relapsed. RHATO/Lobdell are the reason for the trope of Jason "fixing" Roy's addiction. Roy is just there for Jason to look better by saving him from it."

This one is actually a little fascinating to me. Like, where does this idea come from? The earliest ao3 jayroy fic that involves anything along these lines debuted a month before RHATO came out. A month before the sneak preview even came out, actually. I could not find any platonic fics that predated that either, but the point stands that clearly, we don't need canon content to derive this trope. Yes, we knew at least a bit of Lobdell's opinions on Roy as a recovering addict, even before then, but they're not the kind that really springs to mind "he needs someone to save him," you know? And, frankly, Lobdell doesn't seem to see it that way either.

Throughout RHATOv1 and, later, Red Hood/Arsenal, Lobdell seems to view Roy's sobriety as almost sacrosanct. At no point in these issues when Jason and Roy share any screentime does Roy EVER relapse, which is particularly interesting, because there's another title that exists in the time somewhat parallel(?)* with the end of RH/A called Titan's Hunt. And, well...

Roy fails his sobriety right in the first issue of Titans Hunt and spends a majority of it drunk, or with other members of the Titans forcing him to remain sober. *I'm a little unclear on when exactly it happens. RH/A started release in August 2015 & Titans Hunt in December of that same year. There's not exactly a lot of space to fit it in, but it's also referenced in RH/A #11...

Counter to this in the second issue of RH/A:

"Rockabilly genius" is Lobdell's... idk, tagline for Roy in RH/A. He does the same thing with Starfire in RHATO by emphasizing her as an "alien former-slave princess" and "living nuclear reactor." Is it stupid? Yes. I hate it so fucking much guys you have no idea.

Now, other than that one reference to it, it otherwise makes the most sense to have it happen like... after RH/A since it pretty much leads directly into Titans: Rebirth and then Titans (2016), the reformation of the OG-ish Titans team, but y'know whatever. Comics, man.

The funniest part about this is RHATOv1 has not one but TWO addiction plotlines, that run CONCURRENTLY, but neither of them are Roy. Actually, Roy's mostly down for the count or working out his issues with Ollie for the bulk of it. Instead, Starfire and Jason have their own issues going on. Personally, I think Jason's was slightly more realistic of the two, and had some juicy potential considering that Bruce once had a Venom addiction storyline, but that was dropped soooo fast after it was picked up.

Also? While it could be argued that Jason leaving him potentially prompted his downward spiral in Hunt... It's really interesting to me that the last "relapse" we see from Roy prior to HiC... wasn't actually a (willing) relapse at all.

Titans (2016) #20

Cheshire is well known for using toxins on her nails to poison people, it looks like this time she decided to use the drug that Brain and Monsieur Mallah were using to extend Brain's power and control. She was, after all, hired by them. So, while I personally wouldn't quite say "It's Cheshire's fault Roy relapsed," there is... significantly stronger evidence to suggest that one, yeah.

Anyways this leads into Wally and Dick absolutely dismissing Roy as facing any real threat and deciding he's just suffering paranoid delusions associated with having a relapse and when you contrast it to Jason's absolute faith in Roy's ability to be honest with him and desire to not come off judgemental even when asking about Roy's sobriety it is SO fucked up. Everyone who insists that they're "better" friends for Roy owes me fucking money for this bullshit. I'm soooo close to just writing up a whole post dedicated to how much Roy gets fucked over by the Titans despite giving them his all - and yeah he fucks up too, I'll be honest. I'm also not going to pretend Jason's perfect on that front either, but there's definitely significantly less material to say he's a shitty friend than between all them.

ANYWAYS long story short: There is, quite literally, zero basis for this. If anything, Roy'd be the one helping the other two. but Lobdell doesn't do that, either.

Okay, so obviously I had a few complaints with this one.

But it's worth noting to me that he dedicates in the middle there an ENTIRE PARAGRAPH of his answer to Roy's sobriety. And this isn't the only time he does that. He also references AA a lot. Look, I personally don't care whether or not Lobdell was in AA or NA or anything to that effect, but it's really clear to me that either he was, someone close to him was, or he does some kind of volunteering in that area. And above everything else about Roy, this is very distinctly the most important part to him, and as such the way he handles it is from a perspective that most people don't view addicts from.

The MOST important thing, I think, is that he does not view addicts as people who can be "saved" by someone swooping in and telling them to. Whether it's Roy choosing every moment of every day to stay on his course, or Jason choosing to give up Venom because he doesn't need it when he's got friends, or Kori giving up on the space drugs because.... I'll be honest I still don't understand (I know in a literal sense but I don't think his framing worked) why she was on space drugs in the first place so I can't even begin to imagine her motivation to stop bcs it's not like it happened right after she nearly killed Roy bcs of them, which would at least make some sense. Anyways, he acknowledges this as a choice the addict themselves has to make first, but that it's easier to follow through when you have support.

... Moving on from things that aren't true, let's discuss what Roy's characterization in RHATO actually is...

"RHATO made Roy an idiot."

Okay, sorry, I partly lied. We're breaking this one down because it's kind of the "Yes but no but yes but no" of the issues people have with RHATO's Roy. And here's where I start breaking it down by writer.

First up, Lobdell (0-19, Annual #2, 32-40):

Lobdell's Roy wants you to think he's an idiot. He's quite literally the embodiment of this post over here. I don't think he actually likes being the idiot, but I think he considers it a safe place where he doesn't have to worry about it if he fucks up.

Teen Titans (2011) #16, which was also being written by Lobdell

The really shining moments, I think, for Lobdell's Roy are RHATO #16 & #37. The first one of those is set during the Death of the Family storyline which ugh but this is the issue that I was very much "Oh, yeah, I think he's got Roy there."

In this particular storyline Jason's captured by Joker and Roy was bugging his phone to route audio of any important sounding calls to the ship so Roy could paranoidly keep an eye on him. Stalking as a love language is something only a Bat could appreciate, as even Kori mentions thinking it's a little weird. So they fly out to Gotham to try and help out and run into the Teen Titans, who are leader-less because Tim is also captured, though Wonder Girl is doing a pretty good job herself (as she should be) but they're still overwhelmed until Kori and Roy step in to help.

From here this pretty much leads into a whole thing where Roy is doubting his capacity to lead, because canonically for this timeline he's never done so and has a low opinion of himself, while actually managing to pull off a semi-mentorship kind of role flawlessly. Now, it's a bit cheesy because it's all condensed into a single issue, but it very much does feel like callbacks to Roy's self-image issues from previous comic runs.

#37 is pretty much all about his relationship with Ollie I would say that this is not entirely out of character for him. At this point in Canon the two of them have not patched anything up, but Roy standing up for himself in this does feel reminiscent of, y'know. Roy punching Ollie in "They Say it'll Kill Me... But They Won't Say When."

(I'd also like to note that RHATO #37 feels very much like Lobdell was bitter that HE didn't get to write Roy & Ollie's relationship dynamic, so he... write it again, and pretty much retcons a bunch of Tynion's iteration, & in the process he really made it look like Roy was Ollie's sugar baby. lol.)

Anyways, while those two issues do have a lot of focus/flashbacks on Roy's backstory, which is completely different from pre-52 canon, I think it shows him having a much better grasp of Roy's... emotional core, I think, than the other two writers on RHATO. There's a really good post here about Roy being techy even prior to 52, but I do want to tack on the caveat that "Roybots" was not a Lobdell invention, and you pretty much won't see anything similar to that in the parts he write: those are a Tynion invention. Lobdell largely sticks to Roy with implausible gimmick arrows/weapons and playing mechanic for spaceships.

That's right, bro has a body disposal arrow. (RHATO#16 for Analysis Arrow, RH/A #9 for "gun arrow" which I couldn't resist including bcs its so dumb, RHATO#35 for the "Evidence annihalator")

Now otherwise I would say Lobdell's Roy does suffer from a lack of impulse control (barring his staunch control of his addiction) which is far more apparent in RH/A (insert "She was 90% of my impulse control meme" abt Kori), which can make him seem dumb, and he has a little bit of bro-y immaturity. Yes, Jason calls him an idiot sometimes, but idk, feels a little more like how you might say "my friends are idiots, but they're my idiots." Also it's not like Dick and the other Titans never did that either, not uncommonly because Roy was being a little silly guy.

Outsiders #11

Note that Roy does tend to talk down about himself even in this pre-52 scene, too. He DOES also stand up for himself and his abilities from time to time, but he can go either way depending on the situation.

Anyways tl;dr of everyone writing RHATO I think Lobdell actually understands Roy the best. He's immature, mouthy, and self-depreciating, but he's also capable, a highly-intelligent mechanics kinda guy, with latent leadership qualities and decent tactics laying just below the surface of his self-doubt. You could sell me on this being a younger version of Roy Harper who never had a kid pretty easily. Execution's just a little clumsy and the vagueness of the ages under the condensed timeline or, worse, the re-corrected(???) timeline after Convergence/Rebirth/ect do NOT help. Note: This is NOT an endorsement of RH/A's Roy characterization though. Lobdell how the fuck did you go so far backwards with that one.

Tynion (Annual 1, 19-28)

Sigh.

Tynion's Roy is... 90% self doubt, and the rest is love for his friends. He is big of heart and dumb of ass. He is THE most emotionally driven person throughout this entire arc and does some stupid shit in the name of friendship and love that almost screws them all over but then his deep abiding love for his friends sways the heart of one of his enemies who desperately wishes someone cared for HER that much (see the Cheshire portion of the previous post) and she switches sides in honor of it.

It feels a little bit like Tynion needed one person to be "the girl" who thinks with their heart and not their head but didn't want to be a stereotype and make it Kori, so Roy got the job instead. (Meanwhile Kori got the logic-brained role. Yeah.)

I think the only real part of this arc that I kind of enjoyed was this sequence over here. Like yeah, that's Roy. Roy might have his own issues, but they're nothing to him when it comes to needing to step up and help a friend. UGH and I'm too afraid to read n52's Green Arrow but I hate his naked face and the shitty personality Tynion gives him. He is SUCH an asshole. And yeah in that sequence that's just a manifestation of his self doubt wearing Ollie's face, but he's... not really better when he shows up in person. I'll be honest, I don't like Lobdell's Ollie either, and he's also kind of an asshole, but he is NOT the same that Tynion writes him. At least #37 ends on halfway decent terms and actually FEELS like they're on the path to patching up their relationship. Also, Tynion flat out said that ROY fucked up their relationship and I am opposed to that bullshit.

Anyways yeah also for some reason Hugo Strange is Roy's therapist. There was probably some ongoing plot about that but I can't stand that whole whatever it is so I'm not going to examine that one right now. Maybe if someone starts paying me for these posts.

I kid, I'll get more into that when I discuss the Amnesia arc in entirety.

Pfeifer (29-31)

Okay so first off, Pfeifer's characterization is almost(?) not bad actually. It carries over some of the better parts of Tynion and Lobdell. He does however still have the issue of making Kori too much of a bitch, and he's the one who decided to take the "Roy is a tinkerer" to its logical extreme and take Tynion's "Roybots" far enough to now involve nanotech. And really this whole plot is just a wank-fest for nerdery.

This is straight up just some refined points of the other two and then yknow, the "haha nerds rule" vibes. They were making fun of him for his weird AI bomb and then his AI infected the nanobots and he saved the world AND his friends. yaaaay.

Wow. (Seriously was that "summary" to pat yourself on the back really necessary?)

edited to add (7/3/25): Roy's Navajo upbringing was erased/retconned/ect!

No, it's not explored, but it is referenced.

Issue #15

Issue#19

Look, Lobdell is such an intensely white bro I don't think I want him to even try writing about Roy's time on the rez. I mean, you saw how racist this comic is already, right? And given how Tynion handled the League of Assassins and made Bronze Tiger into a furry instead of a black man I don't think I trust him either. (yes there are other characters of various races but I don't know if any of them have names) I mean supposedly he has good stories and maybe good representation elsewhere, but this comic is Not Gonna Be It.

Um you know I think that's all I've got off the top of my head, because actually the complaints that were SENT to me weren't really about him but I'm starting off with some more broad analysis on the characters to give myself a foundation to address some of the more specific complaints going forward. Next I'll do Kori, then Jason, and then we'll move into more specific topics. If there's anything specific in here you'd like me to address or argue re: Roy, feel free to reply here or send it to my inbox and I'll see what I can do. I definitely feel like I glossed over something, but my goal here is to open up more of a discussion in general.

If you want more RHATO analysis particularly based on common complaints that you would like to see either challenged or supported with extensive degrees of evidence so you can feel that sense of superiority that comic fans are all a little obsessed over without having to actually read the damn thing yourself, you can send me the specific topics in the replies Here or to my inbox.

EDIT: I had previously incorrectly labelled the issue with Roy & Ollie as #32, it's #37.

[vi-bean]

Tell me your Spiderpiper hcs!!!

tysm for the ask! <3

tbh, I haven't figured out all the details yet, so there might be gaps, but here we go

Piper's hero persona name is Love-bite, she has all the usual spider powers, plus her charmspeak

her city is Los Angeles, as she grew up in Hollywood bc of her dad, but was disconnected from her culture

she met Leo when she was a pre-teen, and he was in foster care, they became best friends fast, having the same sense of humor and trouble-making tendencies, so much that they basically grew up together as siblings

Piper met Jason a few years later, when she was bored on the set of a movie both their parents were in, and they hung out as much as they could while filming continued over the months, and when it finished they exchanged numbers and stayed friends

which lead to Piper, Jason and Leo all becoming best friends

Piper and Jason tried dating, and it lasted a while, until they realized they were mlm/wlw and broke up amicably

soon after both Jason and Leo separately admitted they had feelings for the other to her, and she excitedly help set them up on a date together, and they become a couple

Piper was bitten by a weird looking spider on the set of a different movie, during the time she was still dating Jason

gaining powers was confusing at first, but she was forced to step up when she accidentally found herself in the middle of a crime scene and had to fight, so she ran with it

as much as she loves the boys, she didn't tell either of them (for plot reasons)

People started calling the city's new hero 'Love-bite' (haven't come up with a real reason why yet, it just fits Piper)

Love-bite's suit is pink, with a hood and two braids under it, one on each shoulder

things were going good for a year, until a new villain showed up, a real threat

Piper would face off against them a couple times over a few weeks, until they put together their plan to destroy the city into action (I based this alot on tasm 1)

(also, somehow, i haven't figured out yet) Jason finds out Piper is Love-bite and rushes to help her in the final fight

he finds them mid-fight somewhere isolated, and yells out "Piper!" when he sees her about to take a critical hit, which turns the villains attention to him, and they go after him, giving Piper the chance to stop the machine that's about to destroy the city

Jason puts up a good fight, but is mortally wounded before the villain is defeated

Piper runs to his side, and Jason confesses he knows it's her, so she takes off her mask, they have some final words and she holds him as he dies, becoming her canon event

the city is saved, but she isn't the same after that, and stops being Love-bite

Piper cuts her hair as she mourns Jason, and throws away the suit

Leo is heartbroken as well, having been in love with him (god, i make myself cry)

Piper and Leo get in frequent arguments and drift apart, with Leo blaming Love-bite for Jason's death

this leads to Leo trying to find a way to get revenge, and he ends up in an accident that gives him fire powers

with these new powers, he tries to hunt down Love-bite, but when he can't find her, he starts causing disasters all around the city to try and get her attention, which forces Piper to become Love-bite again, this time with a darker suit (maroon-ish, maybe)

that's all I got for now, hope you enjoyed!

[formerlycookierunauprompts]

Hello! I've been following this blog for a while now (found it at Prompt #7 first) and I was wondering if you would be interested in making a continuation of Prompt #7 with an idea of mine?

The idea is kinda simple tbh: Once Pure Vanilla convinces Hero!Shadow Milk to escape, broski is elapsing after free-falling for so long and probably falls ill and has to recuperate. Reader takes care of them, fluff and/or angst (Hero!Shadow Milk probably has a hard time sleeping considering the amount of time he's been in the darkness) ensues.

Ooooh, sure! Since you didn't mention a which timeline this prompt falls into (reader is an ancient ancient or Reader is just reader) i flipped a coin to decide. The results, tails, were for non-ancient reader but I will make an alternative prompt if you want

Requested Prompts #21 - 💓💔

" Why are you still letting me stay here?" You turned to face your new-ish roommate. " What do you mean?" You said, tilting your head with slight confusion. Your roommate sighed, staring down into his Jellybean Latte( that you had delivered, he refuses and pretty much can't leave the house after all.) almost dejectedly. " Ah, you blame yourself for all the atrocities he committed. Don't you, blu'?" You asked, letting him respond on his own time. He slowly nodded his head as you looked at him with sympathy. " I know that it technically wasn't me that did everything that he did but..." He paused, just to take a sip of his latte. " I'm still apart of the reason he exists, I created him... And I'm a part of him." You frowned, watching as his hands began to shiver slightly. " Who knows what he could be doing now that I'm not holding him back?-" You make sure that his cup is set down before you gently hold his hands. " Hey, it'll be okay. I'm sure that Pure Vanilla and the others have it under control, if they didn't, then I'd tell you." You reassured him, letting him take a deep breath before continuing. " And, why wouldn't I let you stay with me? You're still injured from... well, everything that's happened." For just a moment, you look at the shadow stained cracks in his dough. But you quickly look back into his eyes afterwards. He sighs. " You..." He trails off, keeping what he wanted to say to himself. It seems he decides on something else to say, probably a question to distract himself for a moment. " Why do you call me Blu' anyways?" He asks, looking back up at your eyes. You giggled for a moment, " Because you smell like blueberries, so it's the first thing that came to mind." And then, he smiles. It's a rather soft, gentle one, not like the maniac grin you've seen on his other half but a more genuine, appreciative one. But there's a certain melancholy behind that smile, you don't know it's source but it's there, you can tell.

[the-sonic-crew]

Shadow, something happened at school recently and I need someone to confirm if I was in the wrong here or not. (long-ish)

During break time, there was a big group of people gathering around in the hallways because there was a student survey happening so they wanted as many people to do it.

I was trying to see what was going on in the center (I was somewhat near the middle of the huddle) and an acquaintance of mine who was in front of me whipped their head around and looked me dead in the eyes and shoved me backwards, thankfully, I didn't fall over or hurt anyone behind me.

I asked them why they pushed me, and they said that I was breathing on their neck (I wasn't aware and I don't take a lot of social cues well) So, I apologized but I had said that they could've easily asked me to move further away since I was making them feel uncomfortable. (by now, everyone had seen what had happened and are watching)

They said that they were uncomfortable and thought they reacted the way they had the right to (the right to shove someone off because they were accidentally breathing on their neck?????) and so I repeated that they still could've asked and used their words, no need for violence/harsh physical contact. Then out of nowhere, they started blasting me with insults about how I was disrespecting them and making them feel uncomfortable on purpose soon after they started insulting me on my appearance and whatnot.

After that, when I went back home, I sort of felt indifferent about it for the first few days, but soon, I started to feel guilty about it.

I thought that maybe I made them that uncomfortable that they resorted to pushing me, or maybe I had done something beforehand that they didn't like and they sort of burst out during that moment. I don't really know anymore tbh.

So, I want to ask, was I in the wrong here? (I go by she/they, just in case)

Hey, kid.

Thanks for reachin' out, no, you're absolutely not in the wrong at all.

Even if you were making her uncomfortable, there was no way for you to know if she hadn't told you first. It sounds like something may have happened in the past or maybe she's had a rough week to cause her to react that way.

Nevertheless, it's immature and way over the top, and you shouldn't blame yourself for any of it.

Sonic and I get into... Squabbles, I guess you could say, similar to this sometimes. He'll accidentally trigger my PTSD or vice versa. Either way, we always take a break from each other, and then talk to each other about it.

So, I guess what I'm sayin' is talk to her.

I can even give ya a message to start with if ya want. This is what I usually use when Sonic and I are talking about something:

"Can we talk about what happened on [day]? I know you likely didn't mean to hurt me, but it made me feel [emotion]. Especially when you said/did [thing they said/did], and it's something I need for us to talk about. "

Remember, use "I" statements, such as:

When you push me, it makes me feel hurt. When you insult me, it makes me feel sad. When you yell at me, it makes me feel scared.

Deep breaths, and if you need to step away from the discussion, you have every right to say something like:

"I'm sorry, but could we continue this in [time]? I'm feeling very overwhelmed and need a break."

If she continues making you feel like shit, maybe you should reevaluate your relationship with her.

Good luck, kiddo.

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 20: the Rains of Casaremírë (AKA: the Fall of Doriath)

Morgoth is not tired being evil. Or satisfied. Generally he won't chill out. Also, he hates Melian&Thingol especially (but this text is from the Grey Annals. the Annals of Aman put Turgon as "Morgoth's main problem"). So, he directs Húrin at them.

Hurin is suspicious of being freed (good thinking!), but what can he do? Nothing. He leaves. Also, he is let out with a sword, which is… making sure that nobody will trust him and everyone will assume he is a thrall. Also, Morgoth's minions respect him.

[Ugh, this must have been really weird for Húrin. The self-doubt. Am I a thrall unknowingly?]

He is not, but he is followed. So, Gondolin. Turgon is doubtful at Thorondor. He changes his mind but too late, Húrin leaves. Oh, and he curses this area. (Yes, I will bold each time someone curses)

Morwen dies, depression and despair, he blames everyone.

A reference to a "seer and harper from Brethil". So, Men do have seers. I mean, I knew they do because Adanel iirc… but this wasn't fully canon… also that one prophecy is stupid and I will keep complaining about it…

Also, a mention of "the days of the wrath of the Valar" reshaping the shores, so the War of Wrath was named after the Valar's wrath? Who weren't even there personally? Huh.

Húrin kills Mîm, at the gate of Nargothrond. Interesting. Also, it is said that it's public knowledge who betrayed Túrin, so — oh wait. No. He knows that from Morgoth, not from gossip. OK. So I still have no idea whether Túrin knew.

Thingollo is polite and respectful, but Húrin offends him and accuses him of causing Finrod's death (he's not completely wrong) and of mistreating his wife and daughter + throws at him the Casaremírë (Nauglamir).

Thingollo is still polite and takes the offense calmly and kindly. <3

Melian dispells Morgoth's magic on Húrin, and he apologizes.

And gives the necklace to Thingollo anyway. Which ends up being a bad idea. Also, it wasn't his to give. the dragon stole it from Orodreth, Mîm stole it again, and Húrin, whose son had owed money to Mîm (because of his promise of weregild. And yes, I think this makes it … not more evil as a choice, because Húrin did not know, but more impactful, more problematic metaphysically) killed Mîm and stole it again.

And Thingollo (who knew Finrod and tbh should feel a little guilty about his death) instead of starting to think "hmm, who should inherit after Finrod now?" takes it. Which may be a culture thing tbh. It is medieval-ish-something world. You don't disrespect gifts by giving them away, you just take them. Maybe. I'm not an expert.

Still, he could have at least talked to Húrin about "you know, Finrod's family…". BTW is there any left? Orodreth dead, Finduilas dead…. Gil-Galad if he is Orodreth's son. Galadriel! OK, so there was someone.

Húrin allegedly maybe threw himself in the sea. Anyway he is out of our scope, one way or another.

So… It comes into Thingollo's mind to join two problematic pieces of treasure (a dragon-tainted, stolen necklace and a Silmaril) into one. Also, the Silmaril grows precious to him—

OK, sidenote. The Silmarils are not evil, but clearly they are too much for almost everyone. People either grow obsessed or die quickly. But not all people. Earendil surely didn't. I guess it depends on personality (the obsession) and on fate-type (the dying).

So, he can not keep it in the deepest part of his treasury anymore— wait, what? You kept the gem in a cage too? Silmarils need proper enviroment, they need light and space and enrichment! Thingollo, you are as bad as a Silmaril owner as Feanáro!

OK, I already made a post on this.

The Dwarves. They too get super obsessed and want the stuff: both the necklace made by their ancestors and the Silmaril. But they keep it in secret.

They finish their work, it's beautiful, another sort-of-confirmation that the Silmaril's own light is white (it reflecting in gems into various colors make it even more beautiful. So. It doesn't have many colors on its own.)

The Dwarves finally talk to Thingol, but not honestly, he realizes that they want the gem, gets overwhelmed by emotions (I imagine Thingol having a switch in his brain: "be polite to Men" <-> "be polite to Dwarves" but he can't do both for some reason and switching it takes a long time) and he mocks them. He provokes them, they are greedy, everyone is emotionally disregulated and should go have some quiet time, they kill him and escape with the treasure.

We get an epitaph for Thingollo, canon confirmation that marrying Maiar is not a thing (except Thingol) and the last thing he looks at before death is the Silmaril.

I have a feeling that Námo will have some words to tell you, my guy. Not as many as to others, but still. Not great.

Anyway, Elves chase the Dwarves and kill most of them, the Dwarves tell a not-entirely-false-but-not-too-true-either story of what happenned to their kinsmen, they go to war.

Melian meditates, we get a flashback. She knows Doriath will soon fall, because the Girdle is now gone, because… ok, let's start this from the beginning.

So this is really cool but also pretty unique in terms of fantasy tropes. When Melian married Thingol, she accepted... ok, I need this in English.

For Melian was of the divine race of the Valar, [...] for love of Elwë Singollo she took upon herself the form of the Elder Children of Ilúvatar, and in that union she became bound by the chain and trammels of the flesh of Arda.

So the marriage is what's tying her to her material form (she had taken it at will back then but now, with Valinor being closed and all that I feeel like she normaly wouldn't be able to do it in ME, she was only able to be there embodied because the marriage to Thingol sort of anchored her)

In that form she bore to him Lúthien Tinúviel; and in that form she gained a power over the substance of Arda, and by the Girdle of Melian was Doriath defended through long ages from the evils without. But now Thingol lay dead, and his spirit had passed to the halls of Mandos; and with his death a change came also upon Melian.

So. Only the fact of being anchored to matter gave her the ability to keep the Girdle up. I know some Maiar can do things with matter anyway, but as I said, I suppose it's either a) because they're evil and/or b) because a Vala let them do it … in general, they are bound by something. And regardless of how the other Maiar do it, Melian lost the ability to keep the Girdle.

Thus it came to pass that her power was withdrawn in that time from the forests of Neldoreth and Region, and Esgalduin the enchanted river spoke with a different voice, and Doriath lay open to its enemies.

[Thank you, Reddit, for having all the quotes I need!]

Again, the "it came to pass" strongly suggests to me that it's not something she did, it's something that happenned to her as part of her nature.

Also, she removes herself, and goes to mourn in Lorien and is out of the story. (I'm sure they get back togetherwhen Thingol was reembodied — and that he was— and no matter how the canon feels about this I want them to have more children, who just live in Valinor in this slightly odd social position of "not a Maia but not fully not-a-Maia" and genrally have some happiness and low-stakes family drama)

The Dwarves invade, all Doriath is confused, Mablung dies protecting the Silmaril (still, he seems quite normal about it for someone who touched it twice).

Also "it's the saddest of all sad events of the Old Days" — seriously, Grey Annals? Again, for AoA it would be Tears Unnumbered. I should enjoy the diversity of opinions in the text. But I don't. It sounds like the authors are arguing with each other.

Dior and Nimloth mentioned, but that's all. On one hand, we were told that B&L never spoke to the living after their reembodiment. On the other, they do have a son and, it seems, a company. Who raised Dior? Like, who spoke with him?

Is it silent spooky B&L surrounded by a company of Elves who behave normally? Or do they live separately, in a distance and gave dior to be taught bu the Elves who live on this island, but separately from them? I can't imagine it.

Or is the "spoke to no one" thing just poetic exageration?

Hmm.. in chapter 20 only Beren is mentioned and it says "no mortal spoke to him" which may mean just Men. I'm not sure. Anyway this is weird and seems somwhat incoherent.

Anyway, the news spread quickly in the forest (how? Mycoryzal networks?) so Beren learns more or less what happenned and he and Dior go to the rescue (such is the wording in my book. So I guess they assumed there Dwarves were still attacking someone or intending to. Makes sense.) A big group of Green Elves joins them.

They ambush the Dwarves (Huh. Ambush. When Nargothrond did it, it was dishonorable... Huh. I think there is a lot in this story remaining from the older versions, back when the Dwarves were evil, or at least evil-ish and not deserving the full human Eruhini rights. Because technically they are not. Anyway. I do not like the inconsistent attitude about ambushes.) Also, the Ents help them. So i guess it is a good fight or at least Yavanna supports it (could you, please, respect your husband's children a bit more?), or at least the trees think Beren is cool.

This is weird. And seems off. And I will assume it is a part of text that Tolkien didn't fully update to the last version of his lore.

Beren killd Dwarf king (chieftain? whatever we call him), the king curses the whole Doriath treasure.

Aaaaand Beren looks at Feanor's gem with fascination. Here we go again. And washes it clean of blood in the river. (I considered adding a RoP gif here but let's not slabder Beren. still, bad vibe.)

At least he's got enough common sense to drown the rest of the treasure. But not this one. (A pity. Feanorians would fish it out, Deagol&Smeagol-style and be happy. Or something.)

He brings the Casaremírë+Silmaril to Lúthien, and she's so pretty in it. And amazing. And the land is fertile and full of light and looks like Valinor.

So…. why do they keep the Silmaril? For Beren, I think it's the standard "it's pretty, Luthien has suffered so much [chose mortal life and all that], she deserves it". Or maybe even "I deserve some beauty for all my pain", but i don't think he goes this low. It's just … slightly less than perfect attitude. "My loved ones deserve some beauty after all they suffered so I am going to give it to them". Also, why would he want to give it to Feanorians, who tried to kill him and threatened Thingol. (And fought a really bad battle but whatever)

No matter how much you love the Feanorians, please remember that this is a simple forest guy, ok, taught by the Sindar, but still. He probably knows nothing about the Oath, never met the Feanorians, has no idea of their mental state and their anguish, and not necessarily internalizes the whole "they are fighting Morgoth and dying on it" part.

Characters do have limited knowledge and did not read the book.

But… yes, I think him taking the jewel was not the best choice.

Lúthien? That's trickier. I think if she knew how much it means for the Feanorians, she would give it to them, because look how she told Beren to not kill Celegorm (or was that Curufin?). So either she knows that Silmaril+Feanorians = bad idea, for some reason (from Melian. Because foresight. But this would require Melian's foresight to change its opinion on the matter at some point, which we have no information about).

Maybe she just trusted that Beren knows what he's doing and didn't want to refuse his gift? And she had no idea how this looks for the Feanorians (remember, very likely nobody knows about the Oath, and it seems like the Feanorians told Thingol "it is ours" and "we will consider you our enemy" as their only reasons).

Melian advised Thingol to give the Silmaril back, but was Lúthien even present at this conversation? Or if she was, maybe her own foresight told her that this advice applied to Thingol then but not to her now?

Seriously, with how Lúthien is presented, I can't imagine her keeping the Silmaril if she believed that that Melian would advise against it or how much it means for the Feanorians. She seems to me a very compassionate person, and one who cares about her mothers opinions.

On the other hand, is Lúthien wearing the Silmaril such a bad thing? It came from Beren's not-great decision, but with how it's written, I don't think it's unilaterally bad. The Feanorians do not have a problem with it, or at least do not attack her (out of fear), the land is beautiful and sure this sounds egoistical, but maybe a brief moment of bliss was necessary? The Silmaril spent many years with Morgoth, then in Thingollo's treasury (why do they all keep them locked?!? i have thoughts about it. anyway) and is now sad. Yes, they do canonically have feelings. I don't think it's corrupted, but it is sad. Maybe it needs to recharge, before it will be able to become the star of hope.

I have no idea but I think like this year should contribute something positive. Otherwise the story feels odd and incoherent again. Or, at beast, feels like Tolkien … I'm not sure how to phrase it. Very slightly betrayed his story for a moment of nostalgia? The thing that the Valar did when they made Valinor. Settled for a known happiness of the past over … something? unknown?

OK, end of very speculatory ramblings, back to the reading.

And this is the moment when Dior decides to leave his parents. I think he wants to help the Elves in Doriath organize and rebuild. He is their king, after all. Still it's an interesting contrast: the island becomes a paradise and Dior leaves. I think it speaks well of him. He goes to work, putting duty above "mom pretty with shiny rock". And he restores Doriath successfully.

He gets the Silmaril, looks at it for a long time (unclear if this is bad looking or normal looking), mourns his parents, then puts on the necklace and becomes the most beautiful guy ever, even counting the Maiar. (dear authors of the Grey Annals, someone would lik a talk with you. He said his name is Mairon.)

Gossip starts… How is the gossip among Elves so effective and fast, with their numbers decreased by all the wars?

Anyway gossip, and the Feanorians. (+ a confirmation that no Elf would fight Lúthien). They send messangers to Dior, who does not answer. that's weird. What is his mental process at this point? Is Dior even socialized properly?

He could say "ok, but give me some time to mourn", or "no, you jerks, you attacked my parents and now dare to make demands" or many other things, but he does not answer. (Or is it: the Polish translation strikes again)

It must have been weird. Also: poor messangers. What a stressful job. :(

Instead of thinking "maybe we should wait till he grows up more" or "maybe we should talk to him in person", C&C get the bright idea of "let's kill them all as we told Thingollo we would do!"

And so they do.

And so they die.

Both sides lose (Doriath is destroyed with only a few survivors, but the Feanorians still have zero Silmarils, but now they have 3 dead brothers), so I guess Morgoth wins, but not really, because he doesn't get this Silmaril either and this will come to bite him later.

[joker-daughter]

So, my friend sent this tiktok (I’m gonna reblog with the link) about Spider-Man, they were pointing out how Peter Parker's way snarkier and less of an innocent "teddy bear" in the comics. And that’s true (but tbh it’s not the only characterization of Comic!Peter atp but I digress) but when we’re talking about MCU Spider-Man we gotta be careful about Peter’s characterization and here’s why:

The movies aren't standalone-ish, like the Raimi or Webb movies could be; they're super tied into the whole MCU universe which totally shapes how Peter acts (no matter how much people want to deny this), albeit this is somewhat of an obvious fact, it needs to be said tho.

Think about Far From Home and No Way Home; they're basically part 1 and 2 of a bigger story happening over just a couple months. And all of it is kicking off after Endgame. Like I said, you can't ignore Peter's time in the Avengers movies; it's all part of his arc and important for understanding Peter's headspace. You have probably heard countless times that he's “written better” in Civil War, IW and Endgame but why’s that? And no, it’s not bc of the damn Russos; it’s because he’s not weighed down by immense trauma/stress yet. He's just locked in, quippy, and giving it his all to help hence why his “true” personality can shine through. But then IW happens, and boom; he's snapped away for five years, comes back to a messed up world, has to fight in this insane battle and Tony dies. No wonder he's not cracking jokes left and right in FFH. The guy's dealing with loss and way too much responsibility for a teenager, and all of these aspects get EVEN worse in NWH, hence why we see a very dark and angry Peter, and almost uncharacteristic side, in the last fight

This is where my theory comes in, and it has a lot to do with those deleted scenes from FFH and NWH. Take the To-Do List sequence from FFH; Peter's using his wit and tech to get his passport faster, selling his toys for cash, bantering with Mr. Delmar. He’s broke, smart and sassy; quite true to the comics basically. Then in NWH, there's that extended interrogation scene where he's snarky with the cops and more crime fighting where he interacts with citizens (also known as the deleted Harry scene lmao). These scenes scream comic-book Peter and are almost reminiscent of HoCo as well which we also know some love to call the more “accurate” movie out of the trilogy, but here's the kicker; these scenes didn't make it into the movies. Some of them are so short, like the interrogation bit, that cutting them for time just doesn’t make much sense to me. Also the To-Do List sequence includes that Iron Spider fight scene in a restaurant (pretty sure he’s taking out a gang there), the DVD version has fewer quips even than the extended version that was shown in theaters, and you can even tell that they edited them out; Peter's moving like he's talking, but there’s no sound. It's almost like this was done on purpose…👀 (I mean, duh…)

So, why cut all this stuff? Sure, runtime's a thing, and yeah, extended cuts are cash grabs, but I think there's more to it. My theory is that the whole trilogy wasn't about showing us the "true" Peter; the smart and therefore borderline arrogant hero we know from the comics. It was SOLELY about putting him through the wringer and showing his struggles. Those deleted scenes? They're like little hints of who Peter really is at his core, but Marvel and Sony held back on putting any emphasis on them so the focus could stay on the bs he’s going through. It also explains why some fans feel so overprotective of him and project this “cuddly” personality onto him; the guy in the tiktok is blaming Raimi’s version, which I also agree with but the MCU trilogy’s chosen narrative has also contributed to this. It's like they're saving the “full, comic-accurate” Peter for later; where he's finally past all this mess and can just be Spider-Man, quips and all. The last part of the NWH’s script also strongly suggests this: “Soars over the Rockefeller Christmas Tree with a newfound sense of freedom. Liberated from having to juggle two lives. Peter Parker is no more, but Spider-Man lives on…”

All of this is also why I think it’s unfair to judge MCU Spider-Man’s personality too much before this next movie comes out; it’s like in real life, you’d rather look at an adult version of a person to judge their character instead of the minor/teenage version of them. Especially when you know that that latter time of their life was filled with chaotic and horrific events that were also character defining for them.

I could be totally off, and I definitely don’t want to give Sony nor Marvel/Disney too much credit. They’re greedy mfers after all. But the way these deleted scenes consistently show a more “classic Peter” and how they're saved for special releases, feels very intentional in hindsight and again, I hate to admit this. Like they know fans eat this stuff up and it’s almost like they were dangling it over everyone’s heads like “we know this is accurate but you’ll have to wait a bit more to see it in its’ full glory :))”

Anyway, that's my take. Could it be a reach? Yes, absolute but one thing is definitely true; the trilogy was all about Peter growing up through insane challenges. And if it was possibly setting the stage for a future where we'll see him as a mature and more comic-accurate Spider-Man will be revealed when the next movie drops. Fingers crossed the writers and Destin respect the ending of NWH and have those deleted scenes at the back of their minds cause they're right there, most of us have seen them and most importantly; we liked what we saw.

[isaaagloom]

nobody wants to hear about this but i wanna talk about it!!!

if i see one more person saying jinx is just a "weird incest" character in reference to her not liking caitlyn, im gonna LOSEEEE IIITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jinx has had only a FEW proper parental (ish) figures throughout the show, and if we're being honest, none of them were AMAZING. but to jinx, anything wouldve worked. because she was a CHILD for a lot of this. in act 1 of s1 it is obvious that jinx looks up to vi so so much, as a traumatized child character would, especially one in jinx's position!! as she grew up she was sooo used to vi being her (pretty much) primary caregiver. to taking care of her, talking to her, and just spending time with her overall. even if vander did a lot of the financially supporting all of the kids, it was clear all of them looked up to vi in some way!!! THATS WHERE act2 comes in, jinx (whos now believed that vi abandoned her... poor girl omg) finds out vi is with an enforcer and whatnot, and fully believes that vi ditched her to go with enforcers, who she's been raised to not like, even BY vi!!!!! jinx is angry about this?? obviously???? take this from HER perspective. your older sibling abandoned you, ditched you, and the entirety of the undercity just to go be with an enforcer, who she's told you allllllll your life to not trust. THATS FUCKED UP ISNT IT!!! this isnt me blaming vi at all, i love her just as much as the next lesbian arcane fan, but from jinxs head, thats really fucked up!!!

the reason jinx doesnt like caitlyn is because she thinks that caitlyn is gonna take her place. and not even in the sibling sense. you can see jinx obviously isnt protective of vi in a romantic sense, but she's used to being the only one that vi was kind with! in act1 of s1 you can tell that vi was only really "softer" towards jinx, because she was so young... because they were siblings... whatever you wanna call it. from jinxs head, vi has only ever been softer with her! and now seeing she's doing it with caitlyn, thats obviously gonna make her upset!! this isnt caitlyns fault, this isnt vis fault, its just my poor girl being rightfully upset about years of misunderstandings and lies told to her!!!!

she believes caitlyn is taking vi from her, or taking her attention or even love. its a common trait a lot of (especially people with bpd, which jinx SO obviously has) people have!! thats why she lashes out at caitlyn or gets upset thinking about the two of them, she doesnt believe vi can still love her and love caitlyn.

bringing back the enforcer bit. jinx was taught from a young age that enforcers were bad, that you should stay away and all these different things, especially after her own parents were killed by one! next thing she knows, vi seemingly is abandoning her and leaving for, who she learns is an enforcer. the people who showed no mercy killing their parents, or just overall being cruel to people in the undercity!!! id be pissed too tbh!!

jinx is so me and if any of you people say anything about jinx being weird again im going to become violent!!!!!!! if i got anything ab this mixed up or wrong i apologize, again im just a teenager whos hyperfixated!!! im not a professional arcane-ologist :3333

this is really long idk if anyones gonna read it all..!! giggled

[deltaruneinsanitycalls]

heeeeeey! are au is dead?

kr1skorp5es bigshot when??

Someone's not in the server.

(You can join it here:)

https://discord.gg/KcTpH659vC

But here's what's happening with Kr1s Big Shot:

Did you know BUT THEN THEY THOUGHT first came out in, like, February of 2024?

Did you know that Kr1s' Big Shot was finished on January 1st-ish of 2025?

Why is it taking so long?

Well... The main reason is art. As people who worked on it are waiting on me, I feel a need to rush asap-

But I cannot. You see, I had a vision for Kr1s' Big Shot that I couldn't do myself. I wanted animation. Not just the tweening shit that's done for all of the videos, but proper animation akin to Spamton breathing in Sans' video...

But more...

I wanted the trio running down a hall, with Kr1sKorp5e_95 chasing them. It's really not that extravagant, but it's more than me - or anyone on the team - could do.

So, I hired someone to do 3D models for us, so we could do it! I hired them in December of 2024, and they were willing to do it! They're the one who made that render of meat on meathooks that I showed off in the server (whicu you should join I made this announcement a month before Deltarune and am having to rewrite parts of it)

However, on March 31st, they sent me the first models of the characters (Dolos and Jevil's models are attached to this announcement), and they were far from ideal. They are completely off model and seemingly use pre-made models of Jevil and Spamton for them. In fact, all of the parts were stolen. They stole any assests they could (including a Jevil porn model) and smashed them together into what I had recieved. I was going to pay for these models.

I don't mean to be rude, but it's just... Fusterating.

I simply say this to give context as to why the Big Shot is taking so long.

As of about two months now, Sen has agreed to make the character models. It's a slow process, but I'm already leagues happier with what Sen has been doing with it. However, it will be another few months at the very least until Sen is done. And from there, it's going to be who knows how much longer to animate the models and then edit the video as a whole.

So expect Chapter 3/4 content for Insanity Calls before Kr1s' Big Shot.

Why don't you just upload the song itself?

Spectacle, my dear friends! The difference between Insanity Calls and other AUs is that I am an amature! And as a real amature, I'd rather sit on this for a year than upload it without you staring at Kr1s' face for seven minutes!

Uh, yeah, that should be all-

It's just an update.

Chapter 3 will likely be the next video at this rate tbh, unless I get the time to make some tilesets and sprites and shit to make a "Helping_Kr1s.mp4" video like I've been planning for half a year-

Maybe a Susie_Aftermath.mp4 if I ever get a Noelle sprite that I like-

It's... It's been a long year thus far. And it's only getting longer- I mainly blame myself, but I also blame Toby Fox for making me hyperfixated on his games to make me want to make an AU like this.

Here's a wip of the current Kr1s model:

Also expect a Sword/Glacier cover and a IT'S TV TIME! cover soon!!! Byeeee!!!!