#it doesnt make you a pretentious bitch

[siriuslylantsov]

i wanna be a vlogger so bad, like a Proper and Consistent vlogger. the only reason i post on youtube is so i can get that 100k plaque, thats my goal in life.

[golden-boy-of-the-gazette]

Um um um some Danny Johnson drabble. Head canons? Idk. this is my first time writing please dont hurt me. I'm ashamed that it's a stupid coffee shop thing but yk. These are Gender Neutral btw!! Mildly suggestive? Not really?

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So first off his coffee order is either super simple or super extravagant, no inbetween. Hes pretentious about it either way. You order something simple? God that's boring. Order something super complicated? Can you just fucking hurry up? And that's IF he goes to a proper coffee shop, I imagine this prick goes to a gas station if he's just ordering for himself.

With that said though, he wouldnt drink just straight black coffee. It would at least have cream and sugar, when hes feeling particularly fancy he would put in like... I dont know, hazelnut flavoured creamer? And that would be as special as it gets.

If you worked at the coffee shop he visits and he was into you he would either try and make your job easier or more difficult to make sure he can spend as much time with you as he can. He's a selfish bitch though so expect the latter rather than the former.

You dont like him? Spit in his coffee? He will try desperately to act like he didnt notice and drink it normally in the shop, trying not to seem like a freak. His eyebrows furrowed and biting his lip a bit as he contemplates whether he should even drink it in the store but as soon as he leaves and he is in his car he is all over that cup. Drinking it like hes never had a drop to drink in his life, licking and biting the rim of the cup as if it were your bottom lip like the fucking freak he is.

Someone is taking too long in line? Hes contemplating their murder while he waits but he wouldnt necessarily act on those thoughts. Just something to feed the brain while he's forced to sit still. The person in front of him typically never sparks any inspiration for his design anyway.

He will end up becoming a regular. If he were to order strictly simple orders like coffee with just sugar and creamer for months he would eventually order longer orders, just to sit and be around you for longer. If you comment on it with something like "Wow, Jed. I didnt take you for a frozen peppermint mocha coffee kinda guy." He would say something along the lines of "Just trying to branch out a little." Giving an almost dry laugh, edging on being genuine just because it's you he's being fake to. He doesnt drink that sugar coffee by the way. Just. Pours it out. At some point he did try it but he didn't like how sugary it was.

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Um that's all I have for now. I know it's super unorganized and the punctuation and grammar probably isnt the best but I'll work on that. I'll also work on my aesthetic I guess? Idk.

[toyhousedramas]

/776557115580022784/all-the-anons-posting-about-people-with-generic

thank you for finally saying it mod

you can have your unique style all you want, but dont be surprised when people dont like it/think its ugly. dont you think that if it was a type of style lots of people found conventionally attractive, it would no longer be “unique?”

the bitching about other people getting more attention really grinds my gears too. its really reminiscent of those people on tiktok who are currently mad that a child’s oc is getting a lot of attention, and not MY ART THAT I SPENT SOOOO LONG AND HARD ON

you are not entitled to others attention or likes just because you make art. learn to create art for your own enjoyment rather than others approval and youll feel so much more fulfilled

(and obviously this doesnt take into account the whataboutism thats on the horizon “well some of us cant enjoy art because its our only source of income,” im obviously not talking about you)

Indeed, and let me be clear, I am a huge champion of ‘ugly’ art styles, I am passionate about art, all art, on a fundamental level that could be called borderline religious if we want to get somewhat cheeky with it;

but when it comes to commissioning artwork of their own characters, people have specific desires, and that often means seeking out styles that align with their personal vision. This isn’t a failure of artistic appreciation, it’s simply a matter of preference.

Characters are, for many, deeply personal. They are reflections of thought, emotion, and intention. When someone commissions an artist, they are not just paying for a piece of art; they are paying for an interpretation of something meaningful to them. And naturally, they want that interpretation to resonate.

A more unconventional or “ugly” style can be incredible, expressive, and full of power, but it might not be what someone wants for their OC, and that’s fine. That doesn’t mean those styles lack artistic value or importance of course, just that they may not always be the right fit for this very particular kind of work.

Also I would like to be clear, I also simply don’t personally appreciate any form of saying ‘generic (blank) art style’ because it’s ostensibly meaningless, it’s why I also loathe the word ‘pretentious’, any time someone says ‘generic’ or ‘pretentious’ they could take the extra step and give criticism on what makes it ‘generic’ or ‘pretentious’ exactly, and if someone can’t do that then frankly they don’t have the art knowledge to be throwing those words around as is.

It’s an easy way to dismiss something without actually engaging with it. “Generic” is often used as a stand-in for “popular” or “widely appealing,” but popularity does not inherently negate artistic merit. Likewise, “pretentious” is typically thrown at anything that asks for a level of engagement or interpretation beyond surface-level consumption. Neither term contributes to meaningful critique; they just act as vague, catch-all dismissals.

If someone finds an art style uninspiring or ‘generic’, they should articulate why, what about the composition, technique, or execution feels derivative? If something feels overly self-important or inaccessible, what about its presentation leads to that impression and makes it ‘pretentious’? These are the kinds of conversations that actually further artistic understanding. Anything less is just a knee-jerk reaction masquerading as insight.

End personal rant.

[lynxindisguise]

Lynx as my certified bar wench friend I want to know what kind of drinks would you give for MWPP and Lily!!!!! Also what would you recommend for a bat who doesnt drink alcohol and enjoys sweet fruits.

hmmm well james I think is probably a bit of a basic bitch. he’s drinking a pint of lager with the lads, but he’s also not afraid to throw in a cosmo or a margarita when he’s out to have a good time!

for sirius I would recommend something strong and punchy, maybe a twist on a classic like a spiced rum old fashioned or a mezcal sour (this is also my go to—only the best for sirius!)

remus is a cheap whisky and guinness or cask ale lad. my pub is a brewery so I’d try to recommend him a new interesting beer.

peter likes IPAs because that is the drink of psychopaths.

lily is def a gin and tonic girlie. specifically hendricks with cucumber tonic. I think she’d also love a dirty gin martini (but no one ever makes it right—except me, of course.)

I know you didn’t ask about regulus, but I feel passionate that he would drink negronis and be very pretentious about it.

if you came into my pub, bat, I would make you a non-alcoholic french martini because we have lots of fun non-alcoholic spirits! (so that’s pineapple juice, raspberry syrup, and non-alcoholic raspberry ‘vodka’)

[briannysey]

alright not to get pretentious about something that doesnt matter, but if you only eat your beef rare or medium rare, youre culinarily uncreative in a way that’s making your meals worse. So much of thr flavor from beef comes from the fat content, and the fat only properly breaks down and flavors the meal at certain temperatures. If youre eating a ribeye, a KC strip, or some other fatty portion of beef (god forbid something well marbled) you want to eat that bitch mefium at the minimum!!! Cook the meal so that youre making best use of your flavors! Especially fucking rich blockheads who eat steak once a week and only eat medium rare because it’s the socially acceptable thing.

listen to me. My favorite way to eat steak is a filet seared black and blue (that is, dark crust on the outside and extra rare, barely to temp in the middle). But if you’re going to spend a billion dollars on wagyu, then learn what makes it taste good. Or die.

[hauntedwizardmoment]

STOP J3 BEING AT THE BOTTOM MFMDMDMDK. Just like the Beatles: Zara and Lucilla BOTH have the the nickname as “the fifth Jace” or “the forgotten Jace” in that their contributions often go unrecognized by the mainstream or casuals but ppl who are deep into it recognize how vital they are to the whole thing. ACTUALLY. You know what. We can go further on Beatles lore. J3 can ALSO be yoko ono. J3 started sleeping w Porter and annoying ppl who don’t know shit are like “you know j3 is the reason the Jaces / the followers broke up” and like. Sure that was annoying when that happened and causes a strain on everyone’s relationships but the Jaces broke up bc of j2jace or j2j4 creative differences. Or a jaceporter vs the clones conflict in that prioritizing money and business got in the way of friendship. Well. “Friendship”

GODDDDD ITS SO GOOD. j2 and jace are sooooo toxic codependency enmeshed a la johnpaul but. they can also be a little oasis-coded in that they always have some shit to say about the other one to the press. jace is out there calling j2 a corporate sellout and a slut who's only the lead singer and frontman because he's fucking porter. j2 fires back that jace a control freak who can't stand to not be the center of attention for five seconds. then they get back in the studio and make the best music theyve ever made.

and poor j4 is like. she's literally too weird for their boys club. she has more experimental influences and gets shut out of the creative conversations because jace thinks its pretentious, meaningless garbage and j2 thinks it won't sell. so she goes to j3 who will actually hear her out and work with her on her stuff. and also breathe into her mouth while they make love. but she doesnt extend the same respect to him because well. he's j3! he's not even the best drummer in the band! come on, be serious for a minute!

and augh j3 being the bitch that broke the band up... he should be allowed to get messy and pick fights with people because of it. his solo career gives him enough money for him to never have to work again and he spends the rest of his days burning professional and personal bridges just because he can. hes never liked any of you people anyways!

[alaskan-wallflower]

south park high school headcanons

TW for drinking and smoking (i have t watched the post pandemic special, so i don’t quite consider if canon..? I dunno though please don’t come for me-)

Eric Cartman:

Doesn’t give a shit about school tbh

I mean he’s probably a solid C/D student

Probably sits next to the teacher, lmao

He’s a pretentious little bitch, we know this, and he probably just harasses kids all the time

Like if there’s a presentation or something he’s probably pretending to be asleep or something

(especially if it’s Kyle)

Probably makes fun of everyone for their class choices

”Oh of course Kahl is taking economics. Those damn Jews” or “Kenny, why are you taking home economics if we all know you’re poor as hell and don’t have any food in your trailer to make this shit anyway?”

Was probably that one annoying kid who laughed during sex ed

Flips the teachers off when they aren’t looking

Is probably an angel to all the teachers but to the students, he’s a massive dick

Probably tried making Kyle fail his classes by hacking into the website

They only knew it was him because for comments/observations tab he put some ‘stupid Jew’ spiel

He’s dumb as shit sometimes

Bullies freshmen

Probably started Freshie Friday

Hes the kind of person to spray Axe Body Speay everywhere and has probably made multiple people sick because of it

Failing Gym

Mainly because he never makes up classes and refused to swim in ‘contaminated water’ (probably aimed at the girls or Kenny)

Doesnt date through high school

because nobody wanted to date a neonazi manipulative asshole

Probably didn’t do any clubs

He probably joined the Gay Straight Alliance (run probably by Big Gay Al) and ripped on everyone there

Got bored and never went back after he ran out of jokes

Honestly he���s probably to lazy to do any clubs after school

He doesn’t like staying in school after he’s already

Probably has gotten suspended a few times

(likely for putting a cherry bomb in Kyle’s locker)

Im kinda lost on Cartman lmao

Stan Marsh

Honestly? He probably drank a lot in high school

Kyle often had to take care of him and scold him for drinking

Stan’s probably a B/C student

Probably studies better in a group than alone

Thanks the stars that Shelley is a senior and will leave him alone

(though I do think she somewhat mellowed down, though she still threatens to beat the fuck out of him sometimes)

And Sharon probably helps him when she isn’t busy

But he feels awkward going to her for help

Randy is awful to study with

”So if I have x amounts of condoms and y amounts of-“ “Fuck this Im calling Kyle”

Kyle is his study buddy when he can’t turn to anyone else

which is pretty often

He pays pretty good attention in class

Probably still dating Wendy tbh

Stan definitely wears like zip up hoodies and ripped jeans and such

Probably bleached the lower half of his hair

it didn’t look good

His hair’s greasy af i’m calling it

Its fluffy when he washes it but that’s a rarity

Uses 3 in 1

wears gloves everywhere

lowkey germaphobe

Probably joined some sort of after school activity

Probably some sort of helping the community club

Tbh he failed chemistry multiple times

Hes trying though

Graduates with probably a solid 3.2 GPA

(idk how colorado does it i’m just going based off of where i live)

Probably goes to college and then drops out after two years

Works a few jobs because he wants to get out of the house

Overall good student, 7/10

Kyle Broflovski

That rare breed between nerd and jock

Hes probably one of those athletic kids getting awards and stuff all the time

Def on the swim team during the fall/spring and the basketball team during the winter

Also does a bunch of those community clubs (things that you would join to get into NHS)

His parents are probably super strict about grades

Theyre all about ‘keeping a good example for Ike’

So he usually beats himself up if he gets a grade below a 95

Speaking of, he’s probably top of his class ngl

Very smart

Studies better alone and probably isn’t the greatest at helping others study, but he’s trying

Honestly probably gets a little less insecure(?) about his hair and doesn’t wear his hat as much

Still barely takes it off but he’ll leave it off during sporting events

I know that thing smells like ass/hj

Probably wears a lot of flannels and t-shirts

Has reading glasses (they’re thick rimmed and brown)

Either that or he wears contact lenses but glasses are more convenient for him

Doesnt like wearing them because they remind him of his cousin Kyle Schwartz

Probably in all honors/AP/college courses

Gets academic awards a lot

He probably did band for one year to fulfill one of his miscellaneous credits (he played clarinet)

He’s probably one of the sweeter kids though, sports help him work through his anger issues

Still snaps at Cartman a lot though

Sometimes doesn’t take good care of himself between sports and studying

So Stan whips him into line

Probably had one partner through high school, doesn’t really play around much

Either that or he doesn’t date at all, he’s just too busy

If he were to date it’s be in junior/senior year, maybe sophomore year if it was the right person and they weren’t needy or too demanding of his time

Probably graduated with an advanced diploma

Goes to some ivy league school

Solid 4.0/4.1 GPA

Majors in math and minors in science

Kenny McCormick

Ngl he doesn’t give a shit

Probably failing some of his classes, has a few B’s, some D’s, he’s really scattered when it comes to grades

Probably skips class sometimes when he doesn’t feel like going

Still wears that same parka

He’s still taking home economics/hj

Probably sneaks into the girls changing room as Princess Kenny 🤭

That one kid who has a crush on all his female teachers

”Guys my average is a 69”

Hes the glue to keep all the boys together but tbh I feel like they drift apart and go their own directions during high school

They probably have like-game days on Saturdays though

He wants to keep the group together though because they’re probably more family than his own family (minus Karen)

Still dies a lot

Probably tries to die so he can get out of doing tests and such

Is the reason they don’t allow costumes at Halloween (he was def a playboy bunny)

Probably takes a lot of non honors/no college courses

The latter even less so because his family can’t afford it

Graduates with a barely passing GPA and goes to community college

Probably ended up dropping out tho

But he still makes sure to keep in touch with all the boys (minus cartman but he keeps in touch with Butters)

Butters Stotch

(speaking of-)

Honestly? Solid B student

Is probably still the most naive of the group, though he does stick up for himself now

Doesn’t like being called Butters much but Leopald is worse

So he either goes by Butters or Leo

Probably has a knack for history??

Honestly doesn’t do all honors courses, proabbly does honors history and maybeeee honors English

Sucks at math

His parents ground him a lot because of this

So he ends up with a tutor

He goes to the girls’ sleepovers as Margerine sometimes

Grew out of his Hello Kitty obsession :(

(…tbh he was probably into Pusheen at some point-)

Anyway

Probably has a solid 3.5 GPA or something

Doesn’t graduate at the top of his class but he isn’t the dumbest person in the room

Probably is involved in the theater department

Honestly very artsy??

Probably takes a lot of art classes because he loves it so much

Majors in it!!

Probably minors in history too :)

Hes pretty nice to everyone in his classes and maybe even dates in high school..?

His parents don’t like it though

And he can’t go out much because he gets grounded a lot still

Overall pretty good!!

Tolkien Black

Probably still dating Nicole

Salutatorian

Probably competes with Kyle a lot because of academics

Hes in the band

Plays trumpet

Of course Cartman says shit about this all the time, I’m calling it

Him and Kyle do butt heads a lot but honestly I feel like they’d end up being pretty good friends

Still cringed at his old TikToks

Hes probably in most AP/honors classes

Probably majors in music in college?

Or maybe he minors in it

Most likely the latter

He’a your go to study person

He’s pretty nice about it too, he doesn’t shame you for getting the answers wrong

He’s that one kid who has house parties a lot when his parents aren’t home

Mainly because Cartman kept calling him a pussy and saying he had no balls

Doesn’t have alcohol though

Him and Nicole were probably voted cutest couple

Them or Tweek and Craig

He hangs out with Clyde a lot and helps him with his courses

Hes probably class president tbh

Or maybe vice president

His parents donate tons of money to the school

Hes pretty level headed and calm during tests and quizzes

He’s really focused and motivated in school

Overall solid 3.9 GPA

Probably only behind Kyle by very little

And he’s okay with it

He probably goes to some hardcore Ivy League school like Harvard or Yale or some shit

Probably uses music as a side hustle in college to help pay for his classes

He was hellbent on paying for colllege alone, or mostly alone. He didn’t want people thinking he was only at said college because he was rich.

Pretty good overall, 10/10

Clyde Donovan

Clyde…is Clyde

Hes a dumbass

A lovable dumbass big a dumbass nonetheless

Scored so low on his SAT the first time he took it

Cries to Tolkien all the time because of his grades but when Tolkien tries to help him he gets distracted and leaves

He’s that one hella sporty kid though

Definitely captain of the soccer team

Probably in the Gay Straight Alliance for ‘shits and giggles’ but then finds out he’s pan, lmao

I feel like him and Bebe are really tight

They go shoe shopping together

Cries when he loses Kahoot

Uses Chat GDP to talk to girls 🫢

Honestly is probably like-weirdly good at math but nothing else

Calls Kyle and Tolkien his algebros whenever they’re grouped together

(i kinda hdc that he’s in honors math too with kyle and tolkien)

That honors math course saved his GPA

honestly it’s probably a 3.0 or a 3.1

Hes not completely dumb though

He gets a lot of sports awards and stuff

Kinda headcanon Clyde to have dyslexia?

So maybe that makes things a little more difficult for him

Studies better in groups

Gets easily distracted tho

He’s a horrible test taker

Cries whenever he can’t figure out the answer

Overall, he’s kinda mid

He probably goes to college tho

He stays in college for two years before he graduates

He was probably their star football player, so they were probably sad to see him go

But academically, he’s not great

Craig Tucker

Science geek

Mainly Earth Science but any science is basically a second language to him

He’s honestly probably good at English too?? like he’s a really good writer

Hes probably in honors English and Science

He combusts when it comes to geometry and map work

He’s bad with dates

Like he can hardly remember his anniversary with Tweek or his own birthday half the time

He’s pretty good at helping people study if it’s one on one

He’ll bully some people harder than others when it comes to helping them though

Goes after Clyde a lot of the time whenever he comes over for extra help

”Of you would leave I would be sooooo happy.”

He’s nice with Tweek though

Helps him not to panic during tests and such, probably gives him a lot of fidget toys too

(most of which are space themed)

Speaking of, I do kinda headcanon Craig with some kind of neurodivergent condition like autism or something

I kinda feel like space would be his special interest

He mellowed out a lot after middle school, but he still flips everyone off

Thats usually the extent though

His locker is an absolute mess, I already know it

The teachers for the most part like him

He pays attention and such

Probably wears reading glasses, they’re thin though and he doesn’t wear them a lot

Eric third wheels him and Tweek’s study dates a lot too

He studies online using things like Quizlet and stuff

Loves reading

He’s probably snuck out of class a few times, but doesn’t do it often

Solid 3.7/3.8 GPA

Probably in the top 20% in his class

Goes to a pretty good college, probably on the west coast like in California or something

He’s pretty good in school

Tweek Tweak

Horrible test taker

Probably has to go to a different room, which just stresses him out more

Tbh Eric probably got him to get high once or twice

It did calm him down but it also freaked Craig the fuck out

Especially because this was during lunch

Tweek was fine, he was just extraordinarily sick and Craig was not happy

The teachers don’t really like Tweek

They think he’s a distraction and a ‘bad influence’ for other kids because of his freak outs

He hogs the coffee machine at school istg

I kinda headcanon Tweek to have acid reflux too?? So his stomach ends up gurgling in class and making weird sounds and the teachers get mad-

And this freaks him out even more because he thinks he’s dying

”Why is it doing that?! Why?! Did someone poison the coffee?! Did the underpants gnomes come back?! GAH!”

He’s hella good in gym class

Tweek on the track team??? anyone???

It helps him burn through some of his anxiety

He probably has a 504 too after his parents kept getting calls about his anxiety

Goes to the school counselor a lot

He probably brings fidget toys to class a lot and often has to give Craig his phone so he doesn’t end up getting hooked in on something some celebrity said and then start freaking out

He’s probably really good at English

Reading helps him forget about his anxiety for a bit

He always has to double/triple check to make sure he hasn’t missed anything

He uses his agenda religiously

Its probably stained with coffee and smells like a mixture of coffee and honey and sweat

His hands sweat and shake a lot during tests

He’s probably barely passing math, Craig helps him through science

He’s alright in social studies

His lowest grade is probably a 75

Craig and Tolkien help him out a lot too

I feel like he studies better one on one though

Too many people in one group makes him feel easily overwhelmed

He probably graduates with a 3.4 GPA or so

Goes to college in New England, he thinks city life will calm him down

Spoiler, it doesn’t

He probably drops out after a year or two before applying somewhere on the West coast to be closer to Craig and some of his other friends

English major and art minor??

I feel like he’s really good at art too

Art helps him vent in a healthy manner

Good student, not great, but good

Wendy Testaburger

Honestly? She’s actually low key smart

She was probably third in her class

She’s very good in math and english

She probably takes all the super hard classes too to ‘challenge herself’

She probably invites all the girls (maybe Princess Kenny and Margerine/hj) over for study date sleepovers

They never end up studying

But it does make for a pretty good time

Shes a really good test taker, but she probably ends up being too hard on herself too

Stan probably (reluctantly) asks her for help a lot of the time too

Social studies is the thing she excels in the most

Especially women’s history

She’s probably in a lot of clubs too, like the community service clubs

Shes secretary of her class, methinks

(I think Tolkien would be president, Kyle would be VP, she would be secretary and Bebe would be treasurer)

Cartman ran but they found out he rigged the votes

She’s all for being just and fair, so this pissed her off to no end

She needs glasses, her eyesight worsened after middle school

So freshman year she got glasses

I can see her doing girls wrestling

Shes probably a somewhat sporty kid, not like Kyle sporty but sporty nonetheless

She’s kind of a geek too lol

I feel like her and Kyle and Bebe are actually pretty good friends

They play chess together lol

Shes actually really sweet to like, new kids and such-probably shows them around

She gets some muscle after wrestling for so long

She also probably does track and field

I can see her being really good in long jumping

She kinda sucks at science though

She takes French

She graduates with a 3.85/3.95 GPA

Probably leaning towards the latter number

She probably goes to the west coast as well, probably somewhere in Nevada or California as well

She does pretty well, she goes to a really good school and probably majors in History and minors in English

I can see her being an English:History teacher

Probably for younger kids though

She stays on Twitch with Bebe and Heidi for hours istg

Shes so sweet, i love wendy tbh

Bebe Stevens

I know her mom is like the dumb blonde stereotype, but I feel like Bebe would be somewhat smart

She’s probably not top of her class but that’s not to say she’s not smart

She honestly is probably in the top 10% of her class

Her and Wendy and Kyle probably do study sessions together

She’s really competitive, so she kinda gets mad if Wendy gets a better score than her lol

Shes really artsy

Took AP art

Shes probably in AP Social Studies and honors English as well

Shes fine with reading, she doesn’t like it, but she’ll do it

Shes really good at math tho

Shes not so good at science, similarly to Wendy

So usually Kyle takes the lead on science during study sessions

She’s that one kid to be like ‘tall the substitute teacher is so hot!��� unironically

Shes hella hood at sewing

She’s probably gonna end up going into fashion tbh

She’s oddly good with money

Treasurer of her class

She probably helps organize prom and homecoming and stuff

Doesn’t date, she crushes around though, but she never actually asked anyone out

She’s really intense ngl, she probably taught Wendy how to fight

She’s on the cheer team

She isn’t a prick though, she’s probably one of the most bubbly cheerleaders out there tbh

Shes also in art club

Maybe does theater too?

She’s in band and choir, she actually has a really lovely voice

She can play flute really well too

Shes pretty smart, solid 3.7/3.8 GPA

Graduates and goes to a New England school, like in New York or Connecticut

She majors in Fashion Design and minors in Art

Heidi Turner

She’s not the brightest

Not to say she isn’t smart, she just isn’t very academically inclined

She probably takes a lot of the mythology classes and such

Shes really into star signs and crystals

Her and Craig started a ‘Space Club’ and actually got a few members to join

She kicked Eric out tho

She’s hella hood at Math and English

The rest is history

Sges probably grown a lot since the whole ‘Cartwoman’ incident

And she’s a lot kinder to people now

She’s weird, but a good kind of weird

She gives away crystals as a gift a lot to new freshman

Shes in the choir!!

She actually has a really amazing voice, she’s been doing choir for years

Shes that one senior that all the freshman flock to because she’s the kindest

She stands up for them where they’re being bullied too, tells them to be wary of Cartman

Shes hella short (4’11’’)

So she often gets picked on like ‘aw, someone went into the wrong building!’ or something stupid like that

She’s so sweet though, she’s that one friend who offers to help you with your homework and then just gives you all the answers

She graduates with maybe a 3.6 GPA or so

She probably stays local tbh, for college

Either that or she would go down to New York or smth

Probably gets into a decent school and majors in music

Wait no, she majors in psychology and minors in music

She becomes an art and music therapist, she loves helping people out

i love heidi 🤭

reblog >>>>> liking

[milfygerard]

I feel paranoid not enjoying or buying the Tayvis show but I don't but I used too. It was good and then it was blah. For any number of reasons I feel left out as per usual because some thing of it feels off but I hope if they do last and settle down I can at least make peace with it, but I don't think marriage is as close as people think. She's only known the guy a year and a half and she was working pretty hard most of that time. We'll see a, If she slows down and b. If they get on when she slows down a tiny bit. I'll try to keep an open mind, sometimes the fan fic is right, like 1 time out of 10.

i mean if they do get married ill deal with it. Ill bitch abt it but ill deal with it at the end of the day I dont control her. I just both have very little faith in the relationship (so high school is an adorable song i love but its also, to be cynical, about being in a honeymoon period with a man-child and how it makes you feel better about never really graduating high school) and have very little faith in travis as a person. He seems like a regular shitty guy whose just dumber(/neutral) with a more tolerable personality than someone like matty or joe, or at least more cognizant of pr than matty whose only hobby is pissing people off and joe who would rather nobody ever look at him unless hes in a movie or at said movies premiere. Goofy-annoying is a lot easier to be around most of the time than pretentious-annoying.

I also don't think marriage is close unless he catches taylor in a particularly vulnerable place and we'd have to see how that would go. After the superbowl will be the first time in their entire relationship that neither of them are spending most of their time on a major all-consuming project/job and will have to just be a couple who are around each other (that is assuming taylor doesnt do something batshit which...dont bet against her thats all i'll say).

[mieczyhale]

honestly the second someone bitches about how much they hated dp&w i'm OUT. that's an instant block for me. nothing tells me you hate fun and fanservice more. you will not find two people more passionate about their characters, who want to give the fans something fun and entertaining, who know that the mcu has fucking sucked for ages and understand a big part of why that is

"it was lazy!!1" it was fun

"it didn't make sense!!1" a. yes it did and b. it was fun

"it was too cliche!!1" it was fun

"they told things they should've shown instead!!1" a. yeah a lot of media does that, at least dp&w didn't do it for literally everything and also b. it was fun

i have trouble sitting through long movies. it has to be something REALLY entertaining for me to manage it and i sat through this movie in theaters THREE (3) separate times with no issue

if you want some perfect thought-provoking movie the mcu isn't where you're gonna find it, first of all, and second of all if you want something unique, some never done shit, that isn't possible. everything has been done. it's just what you make of it now.

was their plot or their approach "cliche" or whatever?? to you apparently. that doesnt make it bad.

the plot made sense

if you think it didn't that's a you problem

my only issues related to any "plot" are y'all's regarding the vanessa plot line

"but the vanessa-" breakup was bs?? nah. i think it worked. and actually trying to force them together near the end was the real bs. they didn't even actually get back together but they clearly wanted it to look like a possibility as a "no homo" end to that plot for the movie.

"wade thought about vanessa in the time ripper scene-" and i'd think about the people i loved who were no longer around too in his position, if they had been important to me. doesn't mean it has to be or stay romantic.

"you're just saying that bc or your ship" no, actually, but even if i was who the fuck cares

sometimes entertainment... is about entertaining

something things are made out of love and joy and they aren't perfect or some pretentious cinema piece and that's great. preferable actually

sometimes you see two friends put out a crossover passion project that the whole world gets hype for and it succeeds SO insanely it beat (bad word choice) jesus and it's an important moment in cinema history and wow we all got to be a part of it and i've enjoyed every moment and maybe there are some things that matter about a movie more than whatever the fuck your bullshit issues are

oh and btw-

"but the jokes were-" i literally couldn't care less about which way you want to end that sentence when i know it's not gonna be a positive. if you're the kind of person who has issues with the jokes or fourth wall shit in a DEADPOOL movie there's no way you aren't an annoying shit

fuckity bye

[tiredtriedfailures]

j cole fans putting him in conversations he doesn't belong in is so funny bc if he was as great of they said he is, he would have a better discography. it's one thing to have a great 16 bar verse but it's another thing to have three great 16 bar verses for 12-14 tracks

hes pretentious, his bars are a whole bunch of nothingburger, he keeps this "if you think you understand this then read it again.....think again..." pretentious ass vibe, hes been playing in a league he doesnt belong in, Kendrick Lite is wrong hes just a bad dupe. WEIRDLY persistent abt the bigotry too. trans men are bitches, lesbians are his to fuck and make straight again, like the fuck is his damage.

[saintlaurentproblems]

I lowkey think Niall wanted to bang Olivia Rodrigo during 2021. I know you can say he was a fan and such but idc. He gave off im down if ur down vibes lol. And Miley Cyrus deffo wanted to fuvk Harry in 2013, she said he was her vibe. They really make sense cause they are two rock stars.

Olivia gives me mean girl vibes. Her friend Cameron and her dad were shading Sabrina during 2021. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/AEXIn1zeYGk

Her fans were dragging Sabrina for making Skin and calling Sabrina the mean girl for standing up against her fans AND Olivia. I do believe the energy you put out there is the energy you receive and it shows now with Sabrinas success. Olivia was being envious of Sabrinas beauty and personalty. People calling Sabrina a flop and now 2024 is her year. Sabrina did not bitch and moan about Olivia, she fr locked in during her big L (and I do believe it shook her-this younger girl swooped in and took a bunch of a Grammys home on her first album...like I know that hurt lmao).

Justin Bieber is an asshole to fans. I dont know why he still has fans and I thought we all agreed to leave him in 2015. Justin acts like we put a gun to his head and forced him to be famous. Just cause you hate your life doesnt mean the fans have to. Giving people the stink eye when they ask for photos. Just ignore them but he spends more energy to be mean. Even last year he was acting weird to fans, https://www.tiktok.com/@noahglenncarter/video/7238756012759452971?lang=en Bro thinks hes the main character 24/7. Relax bro this isnt about you. People are recording cause this a public celeb event. Just stay your ass home. He is stuck in time and thinks we are in 2016 wtf. Another example: https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/did-justin-bieber-really-call-a-fan-a-beached-whale-in-australia/article15855402/

Harry Styles gotta be the smartest male singer in terms of image. Besides the whole zionism claims (which we know he supports). There is no slip up..ever. Its so impressive like you will never catch him lacking. Being quiet really takes you so many places.

Selena Gomez is only fucking Benny Blanco cause her looks fell off...and he is associated with JB. You really think 2015 Selena would date Benny? She wouldn't even date Charlie Puth and he is easy on the eyes. People calling her looks nowadays plastic surgery is so sad. Her face was perfect before lupus and its the moon face from her steroid medications that fucked her looks up. People who went though the same: https://www.reddit.com/r/kidneydisease/comments/14x28ix/before_and_after_prednisone/ This why her body is shaped like an apple now: https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-side-effects-of-prednisone https://prednisonepharmacist.com/prednisone-parables/prednisone-parables/ Thats why sometimes her face looks lopsided or looks like she got fillers in her cheeks.

Okay this was A LOT to read.

1. I don’t think Niall wanted to necessarily fuck Olivia but I think he wanted some of her hype and appeal to her demo. Niall had a smart team.

2. I don’t really agree.

3. Hmmm I think the Olivia and Sabrina beef is complicated. And it was smart to lean into it for press and clicks. Imagine if Joshua didn’t lean into the Jesus brand and playing to the next pop boy. We could actually have some interesting content now. I do hope we get an Olivia and Sabrina collab.

4. Yes I’ve heard Justin is so rude to fans. Especially during his peak douchebag years 2015ish. He apparently kicked a girl out of his Uber in the middle of a highway. I think he has mellowed out now. I just don’t think he is good at handle stress. I have way more compassion for him now tho.

5. Harry’s team is so polished. And he is smart to actually listen to him. Idk who ever gave him advice during 1D deserves an award or something. He gives me a pretentious vibe tho. Almost like he has to put on this image to be taken seriously as an artist. He seems inauthentic most of the time.

6. Selena has dated hot and successful men who have treated her like shit. So if dating Bennie is what makes her happy then good for her! And yes she has a round face so when she puts on weight or swells from her meds it really shows in her face. She’s still stunning.

[winderlylandchime]

2/2*points to the art* YOU SEE THAT?? IM LIKE 89% SURE IS BRIAN! That’s right BRIAN! His BOYFRIEND! Who I’m sure will be here any minute now! WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM FREE ART? FOR A SONG?!?! Justin, i will personally give you a performance of Row your Boat just stop talking to him, NO JUSTIN! NO YOU WILL NOT GO TO HIS APARTMENT’ ‘Debbie, I swear to God, you better be fucking nice about Ben because otherwise I’m jumping through this tv and turning this show into an episode of CSI’ He is so over this episode that I swear I can see smoke coming out of him. He has no clue what’s coming. ‘My man who are you trying to impress? Your grandpa is somewhere calling you a bitch right now. *mock Ethan in a childish voice* not even your rich successful boyfriend.. THATS CAUSE HIS BOYFRIEND KNOWS THAT ART IS AN ESCAPE YOU LITTLE PRETENTIOUS FUCK. Your jealousy is showing, we get it you got your couch off a street and you wish you were Brian. Oh he had a boyfriend? You’re telling me someone actually willingly spent time with him? Correction: youre telling me that he somehow had a boyfriend that sounds just like Brian? bitch who the fuck are you trying to play right now? justin and I are smarter than this, we see right through the bullsh-i hope that picnic gives you diarrhea’ ‘HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR THREE DAYS? THREE WHOLE FUCKING DAYS?! AND HIS MAN IS NOW ON SOME OTHER MANS FLOOR EATING CHEESE? AND JUSTIN STILL DOESNT KNOW HE VISITED EVERY DAY?! IM ABOUT TO FUCKING BURN THIS PLACE DOWN TO THE GROUND. THREE FUCKING DAYS! fuck this whole fuck- your man is dying and you still wanna kiss Brian? If i was Ben, id die just to make him feel bad.’ ‘Oh so Justin spent a day with that cello fucker and now he’s coming to Brian with inspiration..i have a feeling this won’t end good or maybe it will gotta stay positive! HELL YEAH BRIAN! Eat and fuck on the floor and make him forget that little weirdo. Oh damn it, was it because he said romantic? THEYRE CUTE! WHY ARE THEY RUINING THINGS…Justin, no offense but 31 is not too old to fuck around. I should know. He’s acting like he should be in retirement home already. *looks at me sad* this is the beginning of the end isn’t it? Please tell me, that next episode that little shit disappears mysteriously.’ He is bouncing his leg so much that the entire couch is shaking. ‘DEB! AND BEN! Debbie, please be nice, ive been so disappointed already. Is this..is this the beginning of something nice between them?’ He is very happy that Emmett didn’t accept the check and he keeps saying that Pickle Guy is smiling at him right now. *jumps in the air* ‘ow. DEBBIE AND BEN LOOK AT THEM! FUCKING FINALLY! Thank god something good happened, i was losing my mind. Okay so basically for her to be nice to you, you almost gotta die..noted’ And he once again groaned so loudly that Im sure the neighbor heard him ‘WHY IS HE BACK! JUSTIN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?! Asshole neighbors? My dude, youre the asshole. JUSTIN STOP LYING. You never even liked violin music?! Who are you and what have you done with the Justin from season 1 and 2 because this is bullshit. he came for his song? Justin, just put a cd on in BRIANS LOFT! Romantic?! Justin…for fucks sake what the hell. I wanna puke. I don’t have enough pills to watch this. What is he doing? justin sit your ass back the fuck dow- JUSTIN NO JUSTIN NO JUSTIN NOOOOOOOOO YOU FUCKING CHEATING ASS BITCH! YOU MADE THE RULE! YOU BROKE IT ONCE YOU BROKE IT TWICE! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING SHIT? I’ve never been more grossed out by a kiss before. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK JUSTIN?! i am actually really fucking sad right now. I hate this fucking shit. He’s actually CHEATING. This is cheating. This is… i can pretend that nerd kiss was him doing him a favor but this? He’s been toeing the line for the whole episode. HE CHEATED BC OF A VIOLIN. BRIAN PLAYED GUITAR IN THAT ONE EPISODE and no offense to cello players everywhere, guitar is way hotter! Man, fuck this shit and fuck him too’ He then proceeded to call our mom and the only thing i heard him say was ‘please don’t hang up, i will actually cry’

Um, I really need to go back and watch these episode again because:

YOU SEE THAT?? IM LIKE 89% SURE IS BRIAN! That’s right BRIAN! His BOYFRIEND! <- Very likely but I never paid close attention. Holy shit.

hope that picnic gives you diarrhea I AM DYING

HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR THREE DAYS? THREE WHOLE FUCKING DAYS?! AND HIS MAN IS NOW ON SOME OTHER MANS FLOOR EATING CHEESE? AND JUSTIN STILL DOESNT KNOW HE VISITED EVERY DAY?! IM ABOUT TO FUCKING BURN THIS PLACE DOWN TO THE GROUND. THREE FUCKING DAYS! Oh look it is the song of our people, the anthem of the fandom. THREE FUCKING DAYS

H'e actually cheating - oh brother anon, oh brother anon.

He called your mom... oh sweet child.

[thenixkat]

part 4 of Judgement Day Wonder Woman has zero internal organs in this panel. Also ok the UN representative is berating the heroes for defending themselves after getting attacked

and Wonder WOman uses her strength to injure the man for berating her b/c she's not more mature or in control of herself than Captain Atom. Like, superheroes yall cant be being violent with fuckers just for yelling at you

like lady, you can whole ass ignore this man rather than committing some battery ok WOnder WOman commits more uncalled for assault. This kinda shit is exactly one of teh reasons why folks think superheroes are dagerous. Yall just being violent off rip

like this shit is also why the UN doesnt trust yall to handle things well

also yeah I would hope Peacemaker and Captain Atom know eachother, they both serve the US government

the art is so fucking 90s extreme and the penelling is getting into the same kind of muddy fuckery as Extreme Justice

this paneling is horrible

what do you mean that there's a gun that shuts down meta-genes? That sounds really fucking useful for the containment and fighting of metahumans i bet that shit doesnt show up again oh hey not Captain Atom alienating some of his forces by using excessive force and attempting to murder enemies

its also got some of that superheroes are the modern gods kinda bullshit that was the backbone of Kingdom Come. like? bullshit

like motherfuckers is planning to genocide the whole species b/c of teh capacity to create metas and wants them to make peace with themeslves and their gods first the fucking pretentious asshole so instead of getting back on the operating table to try and actually fix up Booster's body back to proper working order he and Ted have gone to STAR labs to make him a prosthetic and fixing up his supersuit. But also Ted, you had access to literal alien technology with teh Leageu what do you mean that STAR labs has more advanced shit?

also of course Booster Gold wants to throw himself back on the battle field as soon as possible sir you should be in unimaginable pain and/or drugged rn the fuck are you trying to fight for

even Booster thinks that soemthing must have changed the course of history rather than the very fucking simple 'teh heroes win overall' not 'the heroes win immediately'

Ted picked up a clue

Ice kidnapped Fire to keep her in Overmaster's people zoo

meanwhile in a dark room Max and the UN bitches are giving up and kissing their asses good bye meanwhile both halves of the Justice League continue to fight eachother rather than fucking team up and fight the alien since veryone's already at fucing mount everest …Ted might be the only fucker giving a shit about the cold even tho there's several others who should also be feeling the cold

also this artist just… whent full spiderman for this cold weather costume for Ted

also -10/10 no lil booty shorts on this costume Ted: Ok so literally we cant win by playing by this fucker's rules and you'd know if you were fucking paying attention.

Ted: Also we should probably use a better strategy than attacking the outside of a likely hevily fortified ship

Damn, the writers really only let Ted Kord hold teh Justice League braincell this time

[g4ngsternancysinatra]

bitches will learn some new big word like sonder and start using it everywhere. u r not deep or intellectual FUCK OFFF. you do not need to use it in every sentence it doesnt make you sound philosophical you just look dumb and pretentious. like hello? dont most people realise that everyone has a complex life at the age of 6? welcome to earth???

[ash-etherwood]

I HAVE MADE ART AGAIN (Not x der zeit related so bear with me)

these guys are ooold vampire ocs from around 2010 or 2011 and last year i reread the few chapters of the story i made up for them and decided to completely redo everything and make new desings and all. i obsessively crafted a story for them for a few weeks, then forgot about them again for a year, and finally scanned them a few months ago, spinning the story some more and yeah. here we are. they are nothing more than a thought playground for me, i dont think ill ever write something with them but i like to play with them in my brain like little dolls. :3

as stated its a vampire story and the new titel is selfish monsters (which i made up on the spot admittedly lol but i kinda dig it) its generally about a little found family of vampires and humans who hunt and kill vampires they deem 'dangerous' (as in they kill recklessly or especially unethically yeah i know its a whole moral disaster). one day elaine, the leader of the group, encounters a comatose vampire boy and takes him in, waiting for him to wake up, and when he does almost 10 years later, he has no idea who he is or how he got into a coma and everyone tries to help him find out what the fuck is happening. yeah and from this point on, shenanigangs ensue. (^:

refs!!!!!

anne is one of the mentioned human vampire hunters of the group. she is an orphan and was taken in as a teenager by elaine when she lost her mom to a vampire who targeted sex workers. she swore revenge on said vampire and well …. got it in the end i guess. u_u anne is impulsive and witty but hides a lot of insecurities from being bullied as a teenager for … pretty much everything. being poor, being fat, having a single mom who did sex work, it was a whole thing. she is VERY opposed to the idea of being turned and made it very clear that when she dies she wants to STAY dead and guess how that works out,,

chris(topher) is the coma boy who doesnt remember who he is, where hes from, and who turned him and why, he doesnt even know how old he is, but after a while he finds out he was killed and turned by a cult leader in the late 70s whose goal was to resurrect jesus, but he disturbed the ritual and got into a fight with said cult leader which almost killed him again (undead version) but he fell into a coma instead. chris is filled to the brim with catholic guilt and bisexuality and cant stop helping people in danger. </3 (and biting lucas) he is also immune to crucifixes because his cult tortured each other so much with them that they became numb to the pain they inflict on them which yaaay!

lorelay is elaines best friend/right hand/girlfriend/soulmate/secret fith thing and she is a bitch ass tsundere goth girl who secretly cares about her shitty human brat sibling a lot and prides herself in being unnecessarily cruel. she is responsible for 'aquiring food' because elaine and chris both dont like to think about the fact that they have to kill to survive. she is the oldest vampire in the group, being turned in the early 1600s by an evil abbess who liked to collect pretty girls like dolls. if she is concerned for you she will throw you against a wall and yell at you. lovingly.

lucas is another human vampire hunter who got kicked out by his shitty dad for being trans and got picked up by elaine in the streets. hes a pretentious asshole who struggles with being nice, is annes best friend (later boyfriend), and acts insanely rude towards chris when he first wakes up, later discovering he just had a giant crush on him and didnt know how to act upon it,, he is incredibly horny for vampires and wants to be turned sooo bad or just bitten a lot please oh god somebody bite him and rip his clothes off and hhjassdjdgq,, he is a problem boy.

elaine is the group leader and and cant walk past an abandoned teenager without adopting them, sadly. she feels immense guilt about being a vampire and constantly tries to straighten it out by doing good things and helping people, hates thinking about what it means to kill to survive, and at the same time feels SO much anger towards humanity and surpresses her rage all the time which is. not good. she needs help tbh.

last but not least, magdalene the 2000-year-old-died-at-16 undead cult leader herself, who wants to resurrect jesus by stealing reliquaries from all over the world and performing a wittle necromancy on them,,, maggie says she just wants to bring back the messiah to free humankind but she actually. well. knew mr. christ personally in real life and misses him and doesnt know how to make other friends so. time to start a cult. <3 when getting new people for her cult, she targets already christian people in their late teens/early 20s and later assigns them the name of an apostle. everytime one of them dies, she find another one to fill their role. (chris was judas btw. it came as a real shock when he betrayed her. (^: ) she also kills anne which more or less forces chris to turn her to save her life because he couldnt stand the thought of losing her and well. its a whole thing.

yeah that was only a FRACTION of the extrensive vampire lore and story i have spun for them already but. if you have any questions i would love to be normal about them. :3c

[trickstarbrave]

i dont think she would ever be able to actually play morrowind but if she did it would go something like this

>says vivec is a lying malignant narcissist who is never telling the truth and definitely killed nerevar. even though he also admitted it in the 36 sermons and will be quite candid with you

>says the 36 sermons are "fake deep incomprehensible nonsense written by a drugged out narcissist solely put in the game as lore bait for the idiots dumb enough to think there is any value in this garbage and have too much free time on their hands"

>will fail to learn the game mechanics. will call it poor game design and will refuse to even figure out what the hell she is doing wrong. will definately not take short sword as a skill, pick up an iron dagger, run around with no stamina, and fail to be able to hit anything and then say "hit chance has no place in any video game ever and should be removed entirely". would then turn on god mode and never speak about it again. would probably end up using spells but never make custom ones.

>will fail to actually understand the plot entirely. will constantly bitch that there is too much dialogue and "why the fuck do i need to ask so many fucking questions? why do i need to ask for directions? i cant understand anything on this fucking map and there should just be a map marker on a world this fucking big". will fail to understand the bare basics of the plot

>probably would call dagoth ur an alt right youtuber/podcaster who is a closeted gay incel mad nerevar cucked him with a hot redheaded woman. she would be half right that he is an extremist conservative but otherwise not actually explore why he feels this way and what contributes to his ideology or what it says about nerevar.

>scream any time she gets lost and bring up the lack of map markers again. will not actually describe why its so easy to get lost in vvardenfell just say the game is "basically unplayable even with godmode on" and anyone who says they like the game is a lying sack of shit who wants to look pretentious or is a nazi

>i feel like she would unironically apologize for almalexia's behavior and claim the devs and writers just did not understand her character well enough to write her and paint her as a sympathetic person who you shouldnt even have to kill. none of the other tribunal will get this behavior from her, she will just make excuses for almalexia and say if the game was good she would 1. be in the base game and 2. you would be able to team up with her to kill vivec, dagoth ur, and sotha sil and rule morrowind as lesbian wives

>if she doesnt do that she will say something like how almalexia just exists as a cheap hollow dommy mommy evil woman fantasy for villain apologists who love being manipulated and abused because they like glorifying abuse. if she goes this route she will say anyone who likes any of the villains of the game is an shitty villain apologist who gets off on abuse and is a nazi.

>or third option: she doesnt play any of the dlcs and says dlcs are pathetic garbage and if it isnt in the base game it doesnt matter and isnt canon as far as shes concerned

>she would not pick a great house. she would realize halfway through the game you could join one and then decide theyre all terrible pieces of shit and not go into why. will not notice crassius "workplace harassment" curio bc she will not do house hlaalu's stuff.

>will say the giant mushrooms are drug references

>her takes on slavery in the game will be bad. she will think the game is endorsing it and not even find out you can get a quest to break the slaves out.

>will conclude that this game is pretentious nonsense no sane person could ever enjoy it. "it's just a game for alt right basement dwelling losers who want to bring back slavery and hate women and hate enjoying things. take a shower, go outside, and touch grass. if you defend anything in this game you should be put on a terrorist watchlist."

>would have the occasional correct opinion only in minor cases like "scribs are baby"

i can already picture in my head a hypothetical lily orchard morrowind video if you can believe it.