#it really does get better

[manrippedapartbydogs]

Craaaaazy that in 3 years I was able to turn my life around from shooting up crystal to moving to Michigan, having a long term partner and getting a full time job with bennys

[many-sparrows]

Listening to music from when I was 18, and for the first time, it doesn’t tear at me. I’m just grateful to her and to no longer be stuck where she was.

[kiwi2229]

Two years ago I spent the midnight of my birthday crying not knowing what to do with my life.

This year I entered my birthday laughing about silly stuff. I still don't know what to do with my life- but I'm okay with that.

[no-see-um-incorrect]

So I wanted to share a little thing 

i’m going to put the warning here I talk about ⚠️chronic illness⚠️ in this post. but I really wanted to talk about it because it’s really important to me and no one IRL really cares (and I also wanted to bring light in case someone sees this post who is like me)

⚠️Small vent also⚠️ please feel free to scroll away 

I have two things PCOS and Hashimoto’s disease (if you don’t want to Google it feel free to ask questions)

And one of the treatable affects of these chronic illnesses is insulin resistance which causes dryness and darkening of the skin (also known as Acanthosis Nigricans) in certain places (under the chin, the neck, elbows, armpits, etc.) and for the longest time I was told that it was something that I was doing wrong.

You’re not drinking enough water

You’re eating too much sugar

You’re not eating good enough 

You’re not exercising enough 

Never stopping to consider that there’s something going on that’s out of my control. And it wasn’t until around August of last year that I started going to the doctor and actually getting diagnosed with and treated for these illnesses. 

My skin started darkening when I was 10 and my self-esteem went to hell because of it. People would stare at me in the grocery store. Kids would come up and ask why I had a dark ring around my neck, people would look at me like I was doing something wrong even though I was confused why it was happening myself 

Anyway Lil vent over 

I’ve got good news 

My doctor put me on medication 

And it’s starting to go away pretty quickly to the point where you can only see it in certain lights  and I am so relieved and ecstatic about it.  Because I didn’t think it was going to go away 

I thought I would just have to cover it up with makeup or hoodies and necklaces forever. I thought I was gonna have to feel that pain of looking in the mirror and seeing it forever. 

But now it’s gone almost completely. And I’m starting to heal from years of not getting it treated.

So if you are/were  in the same boat as me. Knowing something is wrong but people treating you like you’re the problem or people ignoring you about it 

It may not seem like you’ll ever get better. But you will. WE WILL

We may not recover fully mentally or physically, but we will recover.

[ghostlynb]

I love being married. I love my husband. I do not love every aspect of my life but I am so grateful to have made it to 30.

[intothesinx]

The most beautiful thing to me has been seeing how the transitions of my trans friends growing up have gone. Back when I was a teenager I went to a support group for trans kids, and as we've grown up I've gotten to see them start hormones and it's amazing. I don't talk with many of them anymore, but I still follow them on social media and get to see how they're doing and they all look so much happier now.

I remember when we were all struggling, and how things seemed so dark, but things have actually gotten better. Things aren't perfect, but fuck we're all alive, living far better lives than the ones we used to, and pursuing our dreams.

A few weeks after I started HRT myself, I had a friend from high school I hadn't heard from in a while message me. He told me that he was starting T and thanked me for helping him and damn near cried. Another time I was at a club on New Years, and ran into some people from the group who remembered me. They were so excited to see me and I finally got to do have fun with them but fully as myself.

It's been a really really wild ride transitioning, but my life has absolutely gotten better. I wouldn't be here without the wonderful trans people I knew when I was younger, and it brings me so much joy to see they're doing well. I really wish them all well and hope they keep living their best lives.

[nexadarling]

Guuyysss i'm gonna have a house before i'm 25!!! I thought i would unalive myself before 25 and it's literally only a few months away.

It gets better!! It does 🎉🎉

[skin-bible]

My tools

[iloveyoou]

i’ll be 3 years sober in may

[northwestofinsanity]

A little thought, since I mentioned the DeviantArt thing on my Tumblr anniversary post a couple of days back (but not the point I want to eventually make a larger post on -I'm still figuring out how to articulate that).

So, on this day in 2017 (seven years ago), I was on my first day, post-throwing my first DeviantArt account into official hiatus on the night of February 6th as a last-ditch effort to break free from a character-based roleplay friendship/partnership that became toxic, controlling, and emotionally abusive. I woke up on this day in 2017 from the weirdest, symbolic dream. It was the most vivid scene of walking around my old high school building, in which the whole thing was empty, save for a few broken fixtures left behind. Symbolic of this empty space in my life after throwing this thing out. At some point, I ran out of the building, and there was something that happened to me, which, for the sake of those who might be triggered by it, I won't describe -but it was suggestive of getting rid of something unhealthy in my life. And then, despite the disturbing images in the dream, it ended with me looking to the sky, and between the grey clouds, the sun was still shining. Despite how screwed up everything was.

There are a lot of nuances to my particular experience that left a lot of grey area, and obviously, feelings don't disappear overnight, so there were a few weeks of grieving -the worst of which hit a few days on later. I don't remember much about this day in 2017, aside from that it was a bright, sunny day that just felt so weird in my state of shock.

With this past fall, finally reaching the point of peace where I can look back on this time and not blame myself in some way for it, and not feel any regrets about it... I've realized life has come full circle in a lot of ways to what I was dealing with then. In 2017, I was in my first year of college, watching my grandfather go down with heart failure from miles away from home (he lost his battle one week after I got home from the end of Spring semester). Here in 2024, I'm finally in my first year of veterinary school, back in the same town, I've got three family members in hospice, and I don't know if my grandmother's dementia battle is going to hit its end before or after I get home from this semester. I’m watching another online community I was once a big part of slowly melt down -perhaps one I became far closer to than the one I’d been in on DeviantArt. Maybe that hasn’t been with as much nasty, divisive drama -albeit there has been some nasty gossip at school the last couple of weeks that hasn’t been the easiest to hear. Not much in life has changed at all, really, for that many year's difference. It's not easy, still, but it is easier to deal with. Not because anything has changed, as I once thought based on how some people have described. It's just easier to accept and put into perspective, and maybe not necessarily stop caring entirely, as the cynical viewpoint would say, but better knowing how to limit how much I do care when it's not worth the stress -or just something that’s out of my control.

And as I was walking outside in the waiting period between lecture and lab earlier this afternoon, I noticed it was one of those bright, clear days -just like that really odd day in 2017. And it reminded me of the one coherent thought I could tell myself back then.

“I'm still here, and the sun is still shining.”

And I still am here, and the sun is still shining, and while it seemed like the bare minimum first step at the time, I don’t think there was ever anything as beautiful as the sun in the sky today, finally reaching the other end of the journey.

[emailsicansend]

i turn 22 in like a week. what is time???

[justholdingstill]

sometimes it's something as simple as a summer day off, where i can wander around my neighbourhood in a breezy cotton sundress feeling fresh and confident in my bodacious body, where i can go to my appointments that actively help me take care of myself, and drink a leisurely iced coffee on a patio while people-watching without wondering where those few dollars are going to come from. it's not always happiness, but it's relief, and contentment.

i think about young, extremely broke, hopelessly lost and debiliatingly depressed me, who somehow still worked two jobs and lived alone and washed clothes in the bathtub, and who was barely hanging on, on antidepressents that didn't work, who was messed up and hospitalized and disconnected from her family, who wanted her to be anything but who she was, and i just love her so much. i'm so glad she fought to stay alive and get treatment. i'm always a work in progress, but i'm so glad for the opportunity to love every gorgeous, fat, queer, genderfluid inch of myself in a way i never thought i would, or could. the world may be a fucking mess, but i deserve everything good, and so do you. ❤️

[inkandrhythm]

Today's joy: fancy chai, time/energy to play BG3 after work

[friday411]

I have felt broken since elementary school and developed chronic migraines later in life.

This community is a shining light that helps me keep going

Thank you all for being you!!

Friendly reminder that Doctor John Watson had no one. He returned from the war ill and newly disabled. He had nowhere to turn at his most vunerable moments and drifted without purpose within his new, alien life.

Friendly reminder that Sherlock Holmes had no one. He was different, no one understood him. He had been battling addiction alone for years. His only chance at survival in a world he was ill-suited for was to carve out his own niche.

Friendly reminder that they met each other when each of them desperatly needed someone. Friendly reminder that Holmes was instantly open with Watson, and Watson was instantly smitten. Friendly reminder that Holmes provided Watson with a mystery, a distraction that Watson desperatly needed. Friendly reminder that Watson showered Holmes in praise when he was so unused to it. Friendly reminder that Holmes let Watson write about his life, and Watson helped him through crippling drug addiction.

They're both broken men who begin to heal in the presence of each other. They built their lives around each other, encouraged each other, comforted each other. If they hadn't met, their lives would have been worse for it.

[writing-dilemmas]

one day you’re hiding the fact you tend to like shows a bit too much, the next you’re 20 writing fanfiction on the couch and singing musicals with your best friends while your girlfriend makes cookies in an apartment decorated how you want it

[fidugzaju]

It's very nice bein' home

all warm and cozy

Life could be dream