#it would have solved some of his problems

[ray10k]

I would expect Jason to have some seriously complicated feelings about the entire thing, though.

Here is the Joker, the recurring problem that just got solved (or at least, until the body *somehow* ends up in a Lazarus pit) entirely by accident.

Here is the Joker, the one who tortured him to death for a laugh, dead because he tried to jump someone whose startle-response is Fight and got a lucky hit in.

Here is the Joker, dead as suddenly as you can die.

On the one hand, the Joker is gone. On the other hand, it doesn't feel like revenge for all the shit he put everyone through. And sure, the Joker would hate that his death was so lacking in spectacle, but it still doesn't feel right.

Jason will have to deal with those feelings somehow. Too bad he learned much of his emotional regulation skills from "bottle it all up aside from the occasional grunt" Batman.

Quick idea before I collapse into the sweet embrace of sleep.

Danny (running on two hours of sleep for the week) stumbled into Tim's apartment by accident. He looks around at the case files strewn about and the mountains of empty red bull cans, ramen cups, and coffee mugs before turning to Tim who's mid sip hunched over his computer.

Danny: Damn bitch, you live like this?

Danny: *proceeds to collapse of exhaustion*

Tim who just got shamed by some rando in his own home and is highly insulted: ...wtf

[bunnypostsstuff]

HEYYY I HAVE AN IDEA so like hiccup with saying “girlfriend?!?!?! That’s my WIFE” when someone says something along the lines of “tell your girlfriend to get out of my face” after they insult either reader or hiccup or just something like that

She is my wife!

Hiccup x Fem!reader 

Since the words girlfriend and wife were specifically used, I assumed that the reader is feminine.

I had something of a fight with my father, and I had the urge to punch an authority figure, which may or may not have slipped through in this fic.

Warnings: None in particular, there are some curses and the one horny thought from the reader.

You didn’t really get why you were here. No, that was a lie. You understood why you were here. 

One of the tribes allied with Berk had a dragon problem and as the “heralds” of the dragon-human peace and cooperation you and the dragon riders were expected to interfere in order to solve the problem. 

That and Hiccup would use any excuse to get out of Berk for a little while. Plus, it was hard to really entrust that task to anyone else. 

Politically speaking, sending someone other than Hiccup or the dragon riders could be viewed as Berk looking down on the tribe asking for help. On the other hand, someone inexperienced could make matters worse with the dragons in question. 

There was Valka, you supposed, she met all of the criteria as far as experience and status were concerned, but while her dragon skills were unmatched—except for maybe Hiccup— her people skills could still use some work.

So, yes, generally, you understood why you were here instead of someone else. You even understood why Hiccup had insisted you join him. Not that you would have let him go alone. He was prone to getting in trouble when left alone for prolonged periods of time. 

What you didn’t understand was why you were having a strategic meeting with this tribe about the dragon problem. Usually, you would go to wherever you were called to calm down the dragons, inspect the area for what is causing them to act out aggressively and proceed to lecture the villagers about what, why and how the problem occurred in the first place. 

You have been here for what felt like hours listening to the chief go on and on about things you were far too bored and uninterested in to pay attention to. You were sure that you zoned out at some point, only coming back to reality after Hiccup had taken hold of your hand, tagging at it softly. 

“So glad to see that you are back with us.” The sarcastic voice of the man sitting across from you rang in your ears. He was clearly displeased with your lack of attention. 

“Yeah… um, my mind drifted for a moment. I apologise.” You said not really feeling apologetic, but trying to appease the man on the other side of the table nonetheless. 

“It is alright.” His voice sounded rough and aged. “Not everyone can follow along with complex discussions.” He smiled condescendingly. 

The bastard wasn’t even trying to be tactful with his remarks. 

“Must be all the repetitions and dancing around the subject.” You said quickly, stopping Hiccup from answering.

Your hold on his hand tightened as he turned to look at you. He looked confused and a little concerned. Why were you stopping him? There was no reason to indulge this charade if this was how you were gonna be treated. 

You ran your thumb across his arm soothingly, holding his gaze, looking calm, trying to show that it’s okay. 

Hiccup’s lips pressed to a thin line, tightening his own hand around yours. 

“Perhaps you lack your chief’s ability to comprehend difficult words.” The chief’s voice ruined the tender moment.

There was a meaning to be had here. Someone of your station shouldn’t be present in a meeting between chiefs. Other than the obvious insult to your intelligence. Again.

Oh, so that’s how he wants to play it. “Perhaps the problem is that, unlike my chief—” Gods, calling Hiccup by his title felt beyond wrong—“you lack the ability to be concise and to the point.” 

Hiccup watched the exchange with his hand pinching the bridge of his nose. So much for diplomatic relations.

“Watch your words, little girl.” The chief raised his voice, getting up from his chair, wood scraping against wood from the force. 

“Or what?” You get up, placing your hands on the table. Your eyes pinned on his, extending a challenge that, realistically speaking… you… would lose.

Hiccup let out a tiny groan as he also got up, placing a hand in front of each of you, trying to keep you both apart. “Aaaalright. I think we are getting way off subject. How about we take a break and get back after we all have—”

“You need to be more mindful of your people, Hiccup.” The chief turned his attention to Hiccup. “I can understand that love can make you want to be lenient, but even your loved ones are not above your rule.” He spoke with such conviction, like he was trying to teach and reprimand Hiccup at the same time. “You might be new to this, but you need to learn. Don’t insult your father’s legacy, boy.” 

Your mouth dropped open. The entire hut fell silent for a second. 

“I’m gonna wipe the floor with you. You sad old man.” You said as you moved to jump across the table towards certain death.

“NO!” Hiccup yelled quickly, wrapping his arms around your middle. “No, no, no, no.” He kept repeating as he tried to move towards him. 

“Is this how you establish the law, boy? Get your girlfriend out of my face!” The chief yelled again. “And since she is so prone to acting wild, it is best to have her wait outside with the dragons.” He added, just as Hiccup had managed to get you away from the table and to his side. 

“First of all.” Hiccup’s voice rose as well. “She is my wife.” He emphasised. “And let me be clear that in this situation, you are asking us for help. It would be best to remember that every indulgence and goodwill that has been extended towards you that has nothing to do with your dragon problem has been because of my wife.” 

The chief was looking at Hiccup, surprised. You, on the other hand, felt rather smug about this particular turn of events. 

“We have wasted enough time here. We will deal with the actual reason for our visit now.”

He was so hot like this… You are definitely fucking him once you are back on Berk.

…

Damn your brain does not know how timing works.

He moved to leave the hut, taking hold of your hand and leading you outside with him. You threw a pleased look at the chief as you moved and batted your eyes, letting the feeling of victory radiate from you and further the old man’s shock.

Hiccup kept walking after you were both outside, not slowing his pace or letting go of your hand. Once he deemed that good enough, he suddenly stopped and turned to face you. 

He looked like he was about to say something, looking like a storm was held at the edge of his tongue. Instead, he just let out a deep exhale and let his head fall to your shoulder.

“I can’t believe you just did that.” 

“Really? I thought I held back for quite a long time.” You said, running your fingers through his hair. 

Hiccup let out a weak laugh, putting his hands around your waist. “Still though…” 

“Still what? I think I did us both a favour. Now we can get on to doing what we actually came for and then go home.” You said feigning innocence. 

“You will be the end of all of Berk’s diplomatic relations.” He mumbled, giving you a quick peck on the lips. 

“Not all,” you said, giving him another kiss. “Just the annoying ones.”

[rinsnumber1fan]

When they accidently hit you...

Includes: rin itoshi, sae itoshi, isagi yoichi, Michael kaiser

Itoshi Rin:

He was just looking for his book that he left on the top shelf, just to make sure that you don't steal it and hide it to annoy him.

You stood right by his side where he had his arm stretched all the way up to the top shelf on his room to find the book. "Rin, I feel like eating some Chinese food today-" you said, fidgeting as you stood by his side.

He gave you a side long glance and grabbed the book, and when he tried to put his arms back to his side, his elbow hit your face.

His eyes widened immidiently and he panicked, "a-are you okay?!" He said, looking down at you who covered your face and winced in pain.

Rin quickly looked to his left and right as if something were to appear and he quickly stepped back, "I'll go get you some-" you grab his hand, "that was... amazing."

Rin blinked..

"What?" He asked as if hoping you didn't mean what you said.

You pulled your hand away from your nose which felt broken because of his elbow, "that was... amazing, do it again." You said with a slight head tilt.

"You.. want me to- to.. hit you..?" He asked as if in confusion.

"Yeah but like really mean it!"

"Nope, no. I'm not doing this-"

He tried to run away and you captured him. Hugging him from behind, "I always knew getting hit by you would be amazing-" his cheeks turn red and he almost dies.

Itoshi sae:

Sae was at a party and he was allowed to bring one person and he bought you the only one he could tolerate.

Sae stood in the main area filled with glitter and RGB lights trying not to interact but these girls were making it pretty difficult for him..

You stood by his side trying your best to be professional while a bunch of girls throw themselves at him bacically.

The blonde twirls her hair, "so you're good at working with balls huh? Me too... kinda.." she tilts her head. It didn't take a genius to recognize what she was trying to say. You kept your mouth zipped but then a few other girls join in.

"Did you know im the shortest girl in this party?"

"I heard you like athletic women! Well I can play with balls too."

Your eye visibly twitched. Sae didn't really say anything just stared off in space with an irritated frown on his face.

But when he feels one of the girls resting her head on his shoulder,

He feels disgusting.

He puts a hand on that woman's head and pushes her off of him harshly.

"Don't you ever fucking dare to-" he immidiently regrets it, noticing the person he just pushed was you.

You looked up at him and he paused and froze for a moment his eyes remained wide, "im sorry- i- didnt-" you licked your bottom lip. "Uh no.. sorry I shouldve.. considered you were already overwhelmed by the-" he grabs your face gently and plants a kiss on your forehead.

"If I ever do that ever again, just kill me, okay?" Sae says, looking at you dead in the eye but more emotion than he's ever shown before.

He's just that scared of hurting someone he loves.

Michael Kaiser:

"Okay and how many times do I have to explain it for your dumb little brain to understand that-" "HEY IM NOT DUMB!" You shouted as kaiser sighed, glancing at all the notebooks and books scattered over your desk.

"You want tutoring, and I'm giving you tutoring. so, stop being lazy and hurry up and solve it." He pressed the pen against the paper roughly.

You pouted and reluctantly grab the pen from his hands, starting to solve the whole problem. "I've been at it for five hours-" "just five hours? I practice soccer for 15 hours every day."

You blinked at the man.

"There's no way you actually-"

"Shut it-"

You obliged and continued.

You got the same problem wrong after like three tries and once again now.

Kaisers brow twitched, "how many times do I have to-" he accidently held your arm a bit too tightly, losing control of his anger.

You winced in pain.

He paused for a moment and quickly let go, he didn't apologize though. Not untill you pouted and your voice was wobbling and your eyes had tears in them. Kaiser sighed in annoyance, or feigning annoyance "are you kidding.. me..?" He glanced at you and for a moment felt a pang in his heart.

"You hurt me!" You announced, although it didn't hurt at all you just wanted to make a show because you loved making kaiser feel bad.

"I didn't even do it that hard!! Okay.. fine.. I'm sorry.." He murmured, grabbing your hand in his and planting a kiss over your knuckles. "Pretty?" He tilts his head and you pouted, only to kiss his cheek back

And then give him the best head ever later.

Isagi yoichi:

Isagi was alone, or so he thought. Watching a movie late at night, a horror one thinking he needed a change, and then you sneaked up behind him. You placed a hand on his shoulders and shouted "BOO!"

The moment his hand collided with your face you knew it was over.

He slapped rhe shit out of you and threw you down to the floor.

Leaving a red print on your cheek.

"Oh my God! You scared the life out of me!! A-are you okay?!" Isagi yelled as he glanced at you on the floor.

You totally deserved it but isagi wasn't the type to admit that.

You lift yout head slowly and smile at him with blood running down your nose. "OH MY GOD!! IM TAKING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL!!!" He grabs you and runs.

"I-isagi wait!! Its no- I'm fine!!"

And you had to get nose surgery after that.

Happy ending

PKEASE LEAVE A COMMENT IM ASCENSINF PLS LEAVE A OCMMENT PLSPLSPLSPLS

[bokettochild]

Do you have some hcs for Legend? I'd love to hear your thoughts on him :)

So, so many of them!

he's far-sighted! Due to a lot of adventuring and focusing on the far away stuff, he's actually trained his eyes to always be focused on far away things, and so now he struggles to see things clearly close up. he has specticals for it (Impa took him to get some when they were in Labrynna together) but he rarely remembers to wear them, and doesn't like to out on the road to begin with, as he's worried they'll break. he tends to forget he's wearing them when at his house though, so Ravio's really the only one who sees him wear them more than he sees him without them.

he's totally a bit of a history nerd, because I said so. It was more just stories when he was little, but between frequently interacting with ancient artifacts and architecture, as well as time traveling himself, Legend's become somewhat fascinated with history. he likes having all the answers (as most Links do) but for him, that includes knowing where things came from, why they were made, and so on

he's also a horse girl, much like Twilight and Warriors, but doesn't travel with a mount because it's less convenient. While having a mount in a Zelda game DOES make avoiding foes much easier, it also gets frustrating when you have to go find them again after doing however many things (point in case, my BotW horses are scattered to the four winds All The Time). Legend, who frequently is getting up and dropped in random places, doesn't like that this would leave any of his mounts alone in the middle of nowhere and thus doesn't take his own horse many places as a result. Said horse is Puini (OoA manga) and is currently housed either at the castle or with his grandparents (OoS manga). He dotes on her exceedingly, and being around Epona now reminds him of her a lot. Being as she's a literal war horse though (trained for battle with a knight) he has an inkling she would't quite like the mares of the rest of his brothers and leaves her out of the conversation when they bring up mounts

he's the OPPOSITE of someone with claustephobia! I have this fic I'm writing in my head right now where the boys finish their adventure just to get collectively dropped at Lon Lon with no way home, and have to adapt to "normal" life. A chapter of said fic (if I write it) would likely focus on the fact that Legend literally grew up in dungeons, like, his games have the most dungeons of all the Zelda games, as well as some of the biggest focus on dungeons, and as a result, they likely feel more familiar to him than the open world (and oddly safer, since they're predictable and follow Rules that the outside world doesn't have). I like to think that small, narrow, dark places would actually be soothing for him, to the point that, in the theoretical fic, it freaks the rest out when they find out he keeps purposefully climbing into dried up wells for some space when he's homesick. Maybe it's the inner bunny instincts, maybe it's a pre-existing trait that influenced the magic that made him a bunny to begin with, but Legend tends to burrow, and feels safest when he's in smaller, darker places.

He loves puzzles. I think it was Squido who said that we should let the boys enjoy their adventures, no? Let them look back fondly and smile at some things? For Legend, I think the thing he loved most about adventures with the problem solving, and puzzles are the best sorts of problems because you're guaranteed that there IS an answer. So, for someone who grew up doing puzzles most of his life (dungeons), they're a familiar thing for him and a challenge for him to face without actually endangering himself. he likes mind puzzles and logic puzzles mainly, but picture puzzles are fun too for him

Apple snob. He knows all the apple types, probably bred two of his own apple breeds somewhere in his life, and he has opinions on all of them

Nature boy. Not like Wild and Hyrule who like to get lost in it, no, Legend just likes existing in nature. He grew up on Orchard Hill, so gardening and husbandry are something he was raised to before the hero shtick, and he finds a certain sort of peace in gardening/plants. Also, he travels a lot, so he spends a lot of time by himself out of doors. Granted, that's also where a lot of the bad stuff happens to him, but the good outweighs the bad and I think he genuinely would love to go hiking or do nature walk sorts of things if adventure didn't scoop him up every time he left the house

Really big dancer. Mostly because of Din, partially because of Marin, and Cadence definitely had an influence too. Unfortunately, his mental metronome is set to the music pulse of Octavio's magic so he sort of just...can't keep a beat well without a lot of time to adjust. Once he's got it though he's killer

He can play a lot of instruments, but I really like the idea that the violin is his favorite. yes, he's got that precious ocarina from the dream world, and he learned to play one of those first, but like the idea that Uncle Aflon or maybe one of his friends was a violinist, and Legend just got dead set as a kid on that particular instrument. It's also a very diverse and emotional instrument, which grants him a lot of freedom of expression he'd usually not allow himself

He didn't speak his first word until he was four. Uncle Aflon kind of accepted early on that he might be mute, but as it happened, he just didn't feel the need to use words to communicate, since what he wanted was either always evident or could be figured out without him having to speak much. I think he was likely either mostly silent as a child, using mainly sign or other nonverbal communications, but if you want to make it angsty, I also like to say that it could be because his throat got messed up by an illness he had when he was very small so talking was painful for him. I HC that that changed after he traveled to Labrynna, because the memaid's curse didn't just give him a tail, but also effected/altered his voice, making speech easier for him but also making it to where he can actually cham people with his voice if he's not careful (which perhaps contributed to him becoming a harsher spoken person because then the charm is less likely to slip through on accident if he's being a jerk)

Continuing the speech HCs, I think Legend's tendency towards speech is impacted heavily by wo he's around. if it's anyone he met prior to Labrynna, or in Labrynna, he defaults to mostly sign, whereas if he met them after, he tends to usually use spoken words

Legend' far more expressive and open with sign language, as tone is very important and easier to navigate for him. In essence, it is his first language and the one he's most comfortable with

That said, with people he's truly comfortable with, legend's just straight up non-verbal. he doesn't feel the need to speak and usually just uses facial expressions and exaggerated motions to express himself. Being able to shut down the speech center of his brain for a bit is a huge relief and since those he knows well know how to read him just fine like that, it doesn't make much of a difference either way

As y'all know, I champion the Fable and Legend are siblings HC, though I know it's neither cannon, nor likely to be cannon in LU (pretty sure JoJo confirmed it's not true). Still, I really really like the twins thing!

On the note of being twins! You know how sometimes, with twins, one comes out stronger than the other? Yeah, that was Fable. Legend's actually the smaller/weaker twin, though not by much. he was a very sickly baby though. Oddly enough though, despite being physically weaker than his sister, he actually got the stronger of the magic between the two of them! It might even be possible that the strength of his magic might have been the reason his body is weaker; because housing that much power can put a significant strain on a body. Either way, Fable and he joke about it frequently, saying that as he's got stronger Holy magic, he should have been the princess, and since she's physically stronger, she should be the one with the sword. He doesn't mean it though, and is only playing along. Fable kinda sorta really does mean it though)

It's less focused on by the fandom as a whole, but in case you didn't know: Legend is more than just a polyglot! In his games alone, we see that he can hear and understand not only most trees (not just guardian trees like the Deku and Maku trees, but the normal ones around Kakariko too), but also animals, spirits, and literally forces of nature! Heck, the literal SEASONS coo about how adorable he is when you meet them in OoS! That said, I think he learned pretty early on that this isn't normal. Uncle started getting really worried when he saw and heard Legend speaking to what seemed to be thin air on multiple occasions, so he learned to just not answer unless there aren't other humans/hylians around

Continuing the previous one, this does mean that Legend has to frequently resist asking for directions from various passing by birds and animals, and instead just bites his tongue and lets Twilight go off scouting because explaining that he can hear voices no one else can hear is just....ot the best of ideas

Despite the rest of the heroes' being under the impression that Legend was an only child, he actually has Middle Child energy. this is because he grew up with Fable, Ralph, the Oracles, and Ghanti bossing him around/messing with him, but he also helps look after his neighbor Gully, who I fully believe he loves the same way that Wind loves Aryll.

While I have Gully on the mind, I think Smith and his wife have mentally adopted Legend and all but see him as their eldest, since Bertha (Smith's wife), also had a hand in helping Aflon, newly appointed caretaker to an infant he knows nothing about minding, with learning about babies. Legend however, dense as he is, still fully believes they just put up with him for their actual son's sake, since Gully clearly adores him so much

This shows up a lot in my fics, but I like the idea that Legend loves the stars. Like, tehy're the same, always there, no matter where you go. he's traveled a lot and been tossed into random locations where everything is different, yet whenever he looks up, there the stars are, the same as always, just from a different angle. I think Uncle Aflon taught him the various constellations when he was small, and maybe when Legend was lonely in his adventures he started talking to them like they could hear them (and heck, if the seasons can hold a conversation, then why couldn't the stars?). Also, you know the thing about how if you're deep enough underground and you look up through a hole you can see the sky? Yeah, he's more used to night skies and stars than sunlight

Despite being a traveler, he's actually got a palish complexion for his skin tone, since he spends most of his time underground. He's also a bit sensitive to sunlight all around and gets a headache fairly quickly when he's out in it. He hates noon time and would rather be sleeping than awake when the suns at its zenith

I've seen this one around a bit, but I really love the idea that legend enjoys wearing his uncle's old clothes around the house when he's between adventures. he probably keeps Uncle's pipe tobacco and other things stored with the clothes so they still smell like him even after all these years

He's entirely unaware of the fact that being on regular speaking terms with the Golden Goddesses, the Fates, the Seasons, the freaking Triforce, and most royalty is uncommon for a hero. He's aware most people don't do it, but it's sort of jarring for him when he realizes that the other heroes' dealings are limited to mostly mortals, and lowly ones at that, and that when they do speak of the goddesses, it's usually with some sort of reverence. Meanwhile Legend will and has insulted Din to her face for picking on him about his height, gossips with Farore whenever they run into each other, and the only one he kinda treats with reservation/respect is Nayru because they sort of faught each other that one time and while it wasn't her faught, it still makes things a bit awkward at times

He tends to chew on things when he's restless/agitated. He's not even aware he's doing it half the time, and has chewed his sleeves, hair, and various tools at different times. The Chain have designated bowls (Sky got bored) and his has very clear signs of gnawing around the edges. Same with any wooden spoons he's given (although, being as Uncle raised him with manners, Legend does carry his own silverware at all times, and thus rarely needs to borrow from others (it's a medieval manners thing))

Unlike the stereotype of men when they're sick, Legend actually gets really quiet when he's sick. Hyrule's the same way and it's mostly to draw the least attention to themselves when they're not in fighting condition. Usually though, he tends to take the 'sleep through it' approach, which is really a very poor choice, but as far as he's concerned, it's worked until now so he's not changing it

I think Legend's a very physical person, someone who likes to be able to touch and feel various things, and generally enjoys the idea of physical affection, but in reality balks at it because it usually catches him off guard. That said, he do be touching all the stuff and animals.

Gets weird about dodongos. he knows that the majority of them are threats, but there's always a part of him that wonders if some of them are like Dimitri, and it can be tricky for him to fight them at times

The early Zelda games are sort of wack honestly, but the fact that he's technically a telepath gets brushed aside way too much, y'know? Like, Legend regularly has conversations with Zelda and Sahasralah from miles away, IN HIS HEAD, and only uses certain stones to strengthen that connection, not forge it to begin with! Now, he might just be receptive to telepathy, maybe it's a twin thing (I have a WIP about that) but I think it'd be really funny if he's just sitting on that little skill and never brings it up because linking up (lol) thoughts with someone can be very overwhelming when your brain is already moving a thousand miles a minute, and trying to process thoughts and feelings that aren't his own gives him a migraine. So he just.... doesn't. Unless Zelda reaches out first or he needs to tell her something important.

He's terrible about self care and remembering his own needs, but will, can, and does scold others for doing the same. He doesn't even care that he's a huge hypocrite, not much anyway

Magpie. Boy loves his shiny things. Like, he doesn't technically need everything he has, and he knows most of it will never be used, but if it's pretty he keeps it anyway

I feel like Legend'a also got a bit of food insecurity. When he was a kid, freshly thrust into his first adventure and with the kingdom turned against him, he didn't actually know how to find his own food and ended up going hungry a LOT during that first adventure (which might have stunted his growth a bit). Since then, he's made a point to not only educate himself on what's safe to eat and what's not, but he also taught himself how to preserve and prepare long lasting foods, which he keeps a huge stockpile of. He also doesn't trust any food he hasn't watched be prepared unless it's made by someone he trusts, and even then sometimes his anxiety/paranoia gets the better of him. There were a few neighbors who tried slipping something in the meals they gave him under the pretense of taking pity, when in reality they planned to turn him over to the knights, so he's always cautious now

He's actually less wary and guarded outside of Hyrule than he is inside of it. Lorule is an exception because it's a version of Hyrule, but any other country is used to a very different version of him because Legend isn't always suspecting foul play in other kingdoms who have nothing to gain from his death.

He cannot handle blood well. Yeah, he's a hero, yeah, he fights a lot, and yes, he's frequently injured in battle or dungeons, but watching his Uncle bleed to death left him with a kind of hemophobia and he tends to have mini panic attacks/breakdowns when exposed to large amounts of blood. He hates it, but can't control it, and hasn't found a way to overcome it at all

After spending a long time at sea after Koholint, trying to find his way home, Legend actually really dislikes the taste of fish. He had to rely on his mer form a lot getting home, and fish has been ruined forever because it was his only choice for food, and eating it raw (mer) did make him sick a few times (he's still hylian at his core) so now he tends to get queasy when eating fish, just on reflex

He's a dead ringer for his late mother, to the point where people who knew her sometimes double take

I know Warriors is supposed to be the pretty one, but considering Legend's canonically had forces of nature comment on how pretty he is (I think it was Summer specifically, but it could have been one of the other Seasons), I think he's got a type of beauty that, at the least, appeals to the supernatural/magical beings. He's unaware of this though, although he'll always say Fable is one of the most beautiful people in the world, all while unawares of the fact that they're nearly identical looks-ways

He likes to doodle. Drawing more so, but e enjoys both depending on what mood he's in

Logically and artistically minded. Numbers bother him though (something Ravio, who is the reverse, definitely abuses)

He's one of those people who genuinely will be happy if you get him a candle. He's got everything anyone could need, but something that smells nice, offers minimal light, and he;s always running out of? Oh he loves them. He's very picky about what scents he'll accent though because his nose is very sensitive

He cracks his knuckles and rolls his shoulders a lot when he's bored/tense/stressed- basically all the time LOL

he uses sewing/stitchwork as a way to try and relax himself after a long day. it works half the time. the other half his thread gets tangled and he gets very worked up LOL

Secretly admired Sky's skills in embroidery, but doesn't have the patience to practice anything complicated

he loves to teach people things, but constantly assumes people won't listen, so he tends to break things down to bare basics rather than going into the nitty gritty like he enjoys.

Such a big sweet tooth

Genuinely hates the feeling of fur. Twilight's pelt bothers him, not just because the guy who turns into a wolf is literally wearing a wolf's skin, but also because the feeling of fur, treated or no, displeases him most of the time. He only likes fur when it's on something alive and moving, and even then, he's picky about it

Has a extreme fear of dogs. It's both from being chased by the soldiers' dogs, but also various dog-like things in the Dark World. Wolfie used to make him very uncomfortable before he realized it was Twilight

Fall boy. The other seasons would be offended if they knew he had a favorite, but I think his little apple farming, leaf crunching, bright color enjoying self would just adore the fall.

he LOVES the rain. His arthritis acts up something awful when it rains, but when it's not too bad he enjoys being out in the rain. That said, he HATES thunderstorms, less because of being struck by lightning (LA) and more because of the storm the night that his Uncle died

He's actually not fond of heights. He doesn't panic, but he's used to being very low, or even below the ground, so being very high above it unsettles him.

He tends to sleep curled up, he's not sure why, he just does

He's got VERY sensitive ears, both to touch and sound

Buck teeth <3

Also, freckles. He doesn't spend much time in the sun, but he does tend to freckle when he has. It also brings out some natural highlights in his hair, but he's not aware of that because it's not happened since he was small

Tends to sound like he's talking down to everyone, but in reality he's just never sure what all most people know about any given subject

Has such a soft spot for kids

He's a god-father to Bippin and Blossom's kid, and he adores that little munchkin, bordering on spoiling them.

Imma end it there because it's late and I need to be up early, but I hope this satisfied your curiosity a bit!

Thanks for the ask! I appreciate the chance to talk about all these ideas!

[jaimebluesq]

*cracks knuckles* I hope you don't mind me adding to the SangCheng agenda, as an avid participator in it :-p

What existing problems does the ship solve?

It gives JC a connection to Qinghe Nie, the only great sect he doesn't have a connection to in some way via his sister and nephew (Lanling Jin) and martial brother (Gusu Lan).

End of canon - it gives JC one of the few people left alive who knew him before he was sect leader. This is huge because his optics changed so much during the time skip for Yunmeng Jiang to be the sect you don't mess with. Most of the people who knew JC the boy are dead - but NHS is one of the few who still remembers him as Emperor's Smile and peanuts and *innocent*.

Post NMJ death - it gives NHS someone steady in his life who reminds him of his brother, and someone who knew *him* before he became the Headshaker.

Even though their methods of expressing it are very different, they both have strong senses of duty to their clan and family.

What new problems does the ship create?

Post-canon - not only did NHS' (alleged) machinations put Jin Ling in trouble, but NHS is (allegedly) responsible for WWX's return. The extent of which we don't know from canon as even WWX is trying to make links from limited knowledge, though fics have tons of fun exploring that. This will be a huge obstacle for them to overcome.

Timeskip/Post-canon #2 - As someone who knew NHS before he was the Headshaker, did JC ever suspect something was off? Like a moment of "you can't make a decision without crying over JGY or LXC, but I remember you catching birds and strategizing how to cheat on tests, don't you tell me you can't handle this". Not to mention being fellow sect leaders with someone who's seen you drunk off your ass and looking at porn XD

Because both have such strong ties to their families, it's hard to imagine them spending much time away from them - not impossible, but definitely a challenge.

Their personalities can clash as much as they can complement each other - duty bound and serious JC vs lackadaisical spoiled-rotten NHS.

Overprotective sects - depending on the author's take on the sects... Qinghe Nie has been participating in the spoiling of NHS alongside NMJ, so if you want to be with him, they need to like you. Similiarly, JC has risen his sect from the ashes and these disciples are *his* - and they have a reputation for not being ones you should mess with, particularly if you try to court their sect leader ;)

What in-law drama does the ship cause?

They each have a beloved older sibling who practically raised them (JYL & NMJ), whom they look up to, worship, and adore above all others - and against whom significant others might be consciously/unconsciously compared.

NMJ. Has spoiled his didi rotten, so if you want to court him, you'd better prove yourself damned worthy of it - or else you have to face him and Baxia.

WWX. (Pre-timeskip) What happens when your porn-sharing bestie gets together with your little martial brother? Do you give your bestie a shovel talk, or just be thankful someone you know and like is sharing your didi's time (and therefore less likely to get between you)?

JFM & YZY. Omfg, like JFM would probably not blink if he even notices, but can you imagine YZY's reaction to the idea of having NHS as a son-in-law?! (*coughs and hides my fic where she's the one trying to set them up*)

Nie family. In an AU where the 3 Nie parents live, JC has to face not one but *two* mothers-in-law - one of whom birthed the powerhouse NMJ, the other who birthed the mastermind NHS. Tremble, JC XD

call for propaganda

looking to advance from the golden core brainrot stage to the nascent soul brainrot stage - in other words, looking to get into more jiang cheng ships lol

everyone please respond with propaganda for your favorite jiang cheng ship

for maximal propaganda effectiveness please follow this format:

what existing problems does the ship solve?

what new problems does the ship create?

what in-law drama does the ship cause?

imo an ideal ship has content for all 3 questions

please and thank yew

[whitecompri]

😆 Okay, here's a fun idea in mind:

Imagine hedgehog dads' trying to help the kids with their homework (particularly math), and they happened to be just as stumped as they are. And it results in utter chaos.

Inspired by the 6 × 3 video from the classic HARDSTOP LUCAS (if you know him). 😎 🫡

Hope this idea works! If you don't wanna do it, that's fine too. Just a funny idea that I NEEDED to get out there, lol! Have fun! And thank youuu! ❤

Daddy Homework

Pairing: Sonic x Reader; Shadow x Reader; Silver x Reader; Scourge x Reader

Genre: Fluff, light comedy

Rating: G (General Audience)

Warnings: None

A/N: Thank you for the request! I loved the idea, I thought it was a great fit and very funny. I had never seen this video before, and I thought it was really funny too, lol. I hope you like the result!

Sonic

It was late afternoon, the final rays of sunlight streaming through the kitchen windows. The blue hedgehog was leaning casually against the counter, taking a sip of his soda. His ears twitched toward the front door as he heard it creak, signaling someone’s arrival.

Almost immediately, the door creaked again as it closed, followed by small footsteps entering the house.

Slightly turning his head, his green eyes scanned the kitchen entrance, seeing the little blue hedgehog walk in slowly, looking tired, with her backpack on her shoulders. She slipped the straps off, tossed it beside a chair, and, with some effort, managed to sit on the chair—which was taller than her.

“So, kiddo? How was school?” Sonic asked, walking to her side and pulling out a chair.

“Tiring... It’s so boring having to sit in a chair all day...” She crossed her arms.

“I know how it is... But just relax, it’ll be over soon.” He gave her a light pat on the back.

“Dad, can you help me with my homework?” she asked quietly.

“Sure thing. Just show it to your old man—shouldn’t be anything too tricky.” He laughed, leaning an elbow on the table and setting aside his soda as she reached for her bag, pulling out her pencil case and notebook.

She carefully opened the notebook, flipping through the pages until she found the lesson, then handed it to her dad, who smiled and scanned the page.

“All right, let’s see...” Sonic began to read. “An isosceles triangle is a type of triangle that has two equal sides and—hold on, what? Congruent? Equal angles? Formed with the base?” He furrowed his brow, tilting the notebook as if that would help him understand, his confident grin fading as he read. “Huh... where’s the good old math?”

He looked at his daughter and raised an eyebrow.

“What’s up, Dad? You’re an adult, right? You should know this stuff.” She crossed her arms at him.

“I’m an adult with tons of knowledge and experience in many fields, just not triangle puzzles. By Gaia, I don’t even know what that is. I thought math was just adding, subtracting, dividing, and multiplying!” He crossed his arms back at her.

“But that is math, Dad—it’s trigonometry!”

“To me, that just sounds like a snowboard trick. My thing’s speed. I wasn’t made for tough stuff like this. If it were a simple addition or subtraction problem, I’d handle it no problem.” He handed the notebook back to her.

“Can’t you at least try? This assignment is going to count for a grade!” she sighed in exasperation.

Sonic paused for a few seconds, looking at his daughter intently before taking a deep breath.

“All right...” He ran a hand through his quills, frowning. “What do I know about triangles...” He tapped his finger against his temple, closing his eyes tightly, thinking, impatiently tapping his foot on the floor.

Suddenly, he snapped his fingers, opened his eyes, and dashed off, leaving his daughter confused and staring at the spot he’d just been.

She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Sonic reappeared in front of her, holding a small decorative pyramid ornament made of metal.

“How’s this?” He flashed a sly grin.

“And how are you planning to solve my homework with that, Dad?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Just use a ruler and add the sides, right?” He tossed the little pyramid into the air and skillfully caught it.

“Of course not!” She took a step forward, pointing at the notebook.

“Sweetheart, solving puzzles is way outside my dad skills...” He flashed her a grin.

“They’re asking for angles, Dad… A-N-G…”

“Okay, no need to spell it out, I get it...” He puckered his lips at her, gripping the pyramid in his hand and setting it on the table, pulling out a chair as she sat across from him.

“I got something that might help...” She rummaged in her backpack and pulled out a round ruler marked with angles.

“Now that helps...” He took the ruler and placed it next to the pyramid, squinting as he inspected the measurements.

“So?” asked the little hedgehog innocently.

“Ninety degrees?” He raised a confused eyebrow, studying the ruler more closely. “Write that down—ninety degrees. And if your teacher gives you trouble, just say your dad helped.” Sonic sighed, handing the ruler back and folding his arms.

“You’re giving up?! We didn’t even really start!” she exclaimed, slapping her hand on the table.

Just then, you entered the kitchen, drawn by the commotion.

“What are you two up to?” you asked, standing at the table and observing the small pyramid now in place.

“Dad was trying to help me with homework… and totally failing,” Sonic pouted at you, then turned to you.

“I wasn’t totally failing—I can’t fail at something I haven’t really tried yet!” He folded his arms again.

“Let me take a look at the assignment...” You picked up the notebook and scanned it, your eyes widening. “Your age and this? Are you really supposed to be learning this already?” you questioned your daughter, who nodded.

“Look,” you said, leaning close. “We start with the law of sines…” You showed her precisely how to complete the exercise.

Sonic’s mouth dropped open as he watched you teach your daughter. Then a small smile spread across his muzzle as admiration glowed in his eyes.

“...Exactly right. Now, to finish, you’ll find the result—2√3, perfect!” You smiled at your daughter, praising her. She looked thrilled.

Then you looked at Sonic, and the intense way he was staring at you made your cheeks flush hot.

“W-what?” you asked, looking away.

He stood and came to your side, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“That was amazing.” He winked at you.

“Well... everyone’s got their areas of expertise, right?” You scratched your neck.

“My area of expertise says I’ve just fallen even more in love with you...” He offered you a knowing side smile. “I’m so lucky to have someone so smart in my life...” His voice dropped lower.

Just then, your daughter broke the spell.

“If you two are gonna kiss, wait until I’m gone—I don’t wanna see any of that.” She said firmly, her ears drooping as she packed up her things.

“Oh, my bad, kiddo...” Sonic chuckled and gave you a quick kiss on your forehead. “We’ll continue later...” He released you, grabbed his soda, then crouched beside your daughter to ruffle her quills playfully.

“Wanna go for a run? Not that you’ll beat me, but it’ll be fun.” The little one gave a mischievous smile and nodded, and in an instant, the two of them were gone, leaving only a blue blur behind, their clothes fluttering in the rush of speed.

You sighed and closed your eyes, shaking your head. It was amazing how he still made you blush, even after all this time together—and it was one of the things you loved most about him.

Shadow

It was early on a weekend morning; a gentle breeze rustled his black quills as he focused on the task he had chosen for the day: cleaning his motorcycle.

Shadow carefully wiped the metal parts, his red eyes scanning for any specks of dirt on the vehicle.

He heard small footsteps approaching across the yard and didn’t even have to look to know it was his daughter—he knew the sound of her walk too well.

“Dad?” she called softly.

“Hm?” he responded, placing the cloth on the handlebar and turning to her.

She came closer and handed him her open notebook.

“Can you help me with my homework?” she asked as he took the notebook into his hands.

“Sure... Come, let’s sit over here.” He guided her to sit at a small wooden table nearby, placing the notebook down and beginning to look over the assignment.

“So? You know the answer, right? This assignment’s even messing with my sleep,” she said worriedly, fidgeting with her fingers on the table.

“The powers (-2)^4 and -2^4… are they the same or different...?” He read the question quietly, then brought a hand to his chin, narrowing his eyes. He took a few seconds to think before clicking his tongue.

“Dad? You don’t know the answer?” the little one asked.

“It’s not about not knowing... The real question is... what’s the point of this in your life?” He looked into her eyes.

“I won’t pass the school year if I don’t know it,” she raised an eyebrow at Shadow, who just closed his eyes and sighed.

“You don’t know how to do it, do you? I thought the Ultimate Lifeform would be able to solve something like this easily...” she crossed her arms at him.

“I was created for many reasons, but solving math questions was definitely not one of them...” he said, picking up a pencil and trying to scribble something in the notebook.

“Why are you answering it then?” she leaned over slightly, trying to see what he was writing, eyes widening when she saw him doing some absurd math.

“Dad, you’re adding both numbers? That’s not how it starts!”

“I’m trying...” he gritted his teeth, grabbing the eraser and rubbing out his scribbles.

“That’s just scribbles, Dad... not the answer,” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Tell me how to start the question then...” He dropped the pencil on the notebook, crossing his arms, waiting for her to respond.

She scooted closer, pointing at the problem.

“Dad... this is raised to the fourth power... that means you do two times two four times... not two times four!”

Shadow looked at her with his mouth slightly open, processing her words for a few seconds, then raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t get it... if I do two times two four times...” He discreetly counted on his fingers. “It all comes out to four...” His red eyes looked at her in confusion. She just put a hand to her temple.

“No, first you do two times two... then you do two times four!”

“Whoever made this wasn’t very smart... There should be a better way to visualize it... How was I supposed to know this is how you do it?” He raised his hands in disbelief.

“By learning math?” she crossed her arms at him.

“Math never helped me protect the world...” He crossed his arms right back, grinding his teeth.

Watching the two of them at the little table outside, seemingly locked in a long debate, you raised an eyebrow and slowly walked outside, stopping beside Shadow and looking closely at what they were doing.

“Homework?” you asked, noticing how Shadow’s shoulders instantly tensed up at your approach.

“Yeah... but Dad’s not really helping much...” the little one said softly.

“Ah, sweetie, Shadow is terrible with anything school-related.” You giggled softly, watching your daughter’s surprised expression.

“What do you mean?” she asked, stunned.

“Your dad never turned in a single homework assignment in his life when he was living on the ARK.” You placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling him tense up even more.

“...I thought we agreed never to bring up that detail about my life again.” He muttered lowly, blushing slightly under his fur.

“Sorry, but she had to know, Shads...” you whispered.

“Whoa... I had no idea Dad was the Ultimate Slacker...” she said, amazed, staring at Shadow.

“Well... I can help,” you said, pointing at the notebook.

The little one began writing, while Shadow silently followed along with his eyes.

He raised an eyebrow as he watched the simple steps being completed.

“There you go, the answer’s 16 and -16, perfect.” You praised her, and she happily took her notebook and ran back inside.

Then, you turned your gaze back to Shadow, who sat with his arms crossed and eyes closed.

“Don’t be upset, Shads.” You smiled, walking up behind him and placing your hands on his shoulders. This time, he relaxed under your touch.

“It’s just a bit of math... nothing you’ve ever needed before in your life...” He nodded briefly.

“...Would you teach me?” he asked softly, making your face light up.

“Of course! I can give you private lessons anytime you want—it might be helpful to know the basics.” You hugged him from behind, resting your chin on top of his head.

He let out a quiet ‘hmph,’ though a small smile began to form on his muzzle as he enjoyed being close to you and the idea of spending more time together.

Silver

The white hedgehog was humming softly, content, as he gently poured water from his watering can over the garden. His golden eyes sparkled with pride as he admired all the green and blooming plants.

After finishing, he set the watering can down, placing a hand on his hip to take in the view—until, from the corner of his eye, he spotted a little hedgehog standing at the door, watching him.

Silver turned his head slightly, now seeing his daughter clearly. He smiled warmly and floated over to her with his powers.

“Hey there, little one. What’s wrong?” He landed in front of her, noticing the worried look on her face.

“Dad, I need help with my homework...” she said, hugging her book. Silver’s eyes lit up.

“Great! I can help you—let me take a look.” He smiled, carefully taking the book as she showed him the homework page.

“Okay... Solve the complete quadratic equation using the quadratic formula... 2x² + 7x + 5 = 0...” He stared at the equation for a few seconds, scratching the back of his neck.

“Dad?” the little one asked.

“Uh...” He furrowed his brow at the page. “I’ve never seen anything like this in my life...” he admitted softly. “Bhaskara is... what, exactly?” he asked in a whisper.

“The guy who made this up... or something like that,” she shrugged.

“Hmmm...” He rubbed his chin, pouting in concentration. “But... doesn’t this equation already have an answer?”

“I think it wants the value of X, Dad, not the value after the equals sign...”

“Ah, right...” He shrank into himself a little, clearly intimidated by the equation. “In the future we don’t have anything like this... Math’s really different over there...” he murmured.

“That’s true... I guess I never thought about it...” the little one crossed her arms, thinking.

“But I can still help... let’s go.” He smiled, taking the pencil she handed him.

The hedgehog sat down on the ground at the doorstep, the little one doing the same, both examining how to begin.

“Alright... if I have two X’s... let’s say I have...” He looked around and smiled as he spotted two small stones, placing them in front of him. “If I have two stones with this little number here...”

“Dad, I don’t think that’s how you do it...” she raised an eyebrow at his method.

“Relax, sweetie... In the future, math works like this... I think.” He looked away. “Anyway... moving on, how about...” He tapped the pencil to his chin.

“How about we just start with the formula?”

“You mean that... Baskada thing?”

“Bhaskara.”

“Yeah, that one... Well, I wish I knew what that formula actually is...” He gave her a sheepish grin. “There’s gotta be another way to do it...”

“No, Dad... there’s not.” She shook her head. Silver pouted.

“Not even... if I try using my powers?... Even if it probably won’t help...” he laughed.

“It’s okay, Dad. Thanks for trying to help...” she said softly, reaching to take the book back.

“Wait, I’ve got it!” Silver said suddenly, excited, turning around and heading inside. The little one followed, hopeful and curious.

He found you at the kitchen table, reading a book calmly.

The hedgehog sat in front of you, beaming, and placed the book in front of you. You looked up from your book, curious, then saw the workbook.

“Homework, huh?” You smiled.

“Can you help?” Silver asked, as the little one stopped at his side.

“What’s the task?” You marked your page and set your book down. “A quadratic equation? It’s been years since I’ve done one, but I think I can help.” You said cheerfully.

“Thank you, you’re a real lifesaver...” Silver laughed, crossing his arms on the table. The little one did the same.

“It’s nothing. If you want, I can teach you too.” You smiled.

“Sounds great to me. Math in the future is... not exactly like this.” He scratched his neck, glancing away.

“I know, alright, let me see what I can do.” You analyzed the question, grabbing a pencil and beginning to explain to both of them how the equation worked, making small pauses to remember things before continuing.

However, Silver was actually more focused on you than on your explanation. He was watching you with a soft gaze, following every movement you made with his eyes, a little smile on his face.

Then he let out a long sigh, catching your attention.

“Everything okay? You seem lost in thought...” You laughed, watching him blush and his eyes widen.

“N-no, it’s nothing! I was just... admiring you...” He looked away, scratching his arm.

You chuckled softly.

“Thank you, Silver. You're adorable...”

He smiled gently, then suddenly stood up from the chair.

“I-I’m gonna make us a snack... I’ll be right back!” He fumbled a little trying to get out of where he was, quickly heading to the cabinets, looking for ingredients.

Now it was your turn to admire him, watching every agile movement and the little smiles he gave.

“Mom...?” The little one called, breaking the spell and bringing your attention back to her.

“Ah, sorry, here, you just have to do this and you’ll finish the equation.” You said quickly. The little hedgehog giggled softly, clearly enjoying the cute interactions between her parents.

Scourge

The hedgehog was sprawled out on the couch, his muzzle fur covered in chip crumbs as he munched away. Every now and then his hand reached into the bag for more snacks, bringing them lazily to his mouth.

He shifted a bit, stretching his back, enjoying the calm of the house at night. In the armchair, you were curled up reading a book, also savoring the peaceful moment.

That was until the sound of a bedroom door upstairs echoed through the house. The familiar creak made Scourge flick his ears back. He licked his fingers and tossed the snack bag aside. His blue eyes followed the sound of tiny footsteps coming down the stairs, already spotting two little green-furred hedgehogs whose eyes sparkled mischievously upon seeing Scourge.

“Dad!” the older one called out, coming down quickly, followed by her younger sister.

“Whaddaya want?” he asked, stretching and sitting upright to look at them.

“...Help us with homework?” the older one asked with an innocent look, showing him her notebook, the younger mimicking her with hers.

“Uh...” Scourge looked at their notebooks, scratched his neck, then glanced over at you. “Hey... think ya could gimme a hand here?” he asked. Slowly, you lowered your book, observing the three—but didn’t even have time to answer.

“Dad! We want your help this time. Mom helps every time!” the older one insisted, crossing her arms and staring at Scourge. His ears turned sideways, clearly uncomfortable. You let out a husky chuckle, enjoying the scene and his interaction with the girls.

“...My help, huh?”

“Yes...” both said in unison.

“You sure? 'Cause askin’ a stranger on the street might be smarter...” Scourge laughed at his own joke, but his smile faded when he noticed the girls were still serious, arms crossed.

“We don’t care if your head’s empty...” the little one said.

“Hey, watch ya mouth—I’m still ya dad...” he pointed to himself, making the two exchange confused glances.

“Anyway... you heard my sister, we don’t care, we just want your help...” The older one placed the notebook in his lap, waiting for his next move.

Scourge sighed, thinking for a moment, scratching his cheek before clicking his tongue.

“Aight, screw it. I’ll help ya two.” He extended his hand, opening the notebook to the last page.

“This one... just this one left...” The little one pointed to the question.

Scourge cleared his throat before reading aloud.

“What’s the volume ‘n total surface area of a rectang’lar prism with... what—5, 7, and 9 cm?” He paused, trying to make sense of what he just read, then furrowed his brow. “What the hell’s that even s’posed to mean?” He looked at the girls.

“Dad, you’re supposed to know that!” The older one crossed her arms.

“Pfft, yeah right. D’you see me lookin’ like someone who loves math?” He raised an eyebrow at them.

“No, but I thought you’d at least be useful for helping.”

“You’re really gonna keep throwin’ shade at ya own father?!” He gritted his teeth.

“Of course! How can you be the leader of a gang, become a king, fight a bunch of strong people... and still not know how to do basic math?” The older one waved her arms, trying to wrap her head around the fact that Scourge just didn’t know how to do that question.

“I never had to know nothin’ about volume or area... or whatever them scribbles are in that notebook... My brains ain’t about stupid numbers, alright?” he muttered, clearly getting irritated.

You let out a quiet giggle, continuing to read but clearly listening to the conversation.

“You laughin’ at somethin’?” Scourge raised an eyebrow at you.

“Nothing, I was just reacting to a funny part in the book...” You winked at him, returning to your reading. It was pretty obvious the book wasn’t the reason for your laughter.

“Tch... Aight, ya little punks...” He grabbed a pencil and started scribbling something—an absolutely horrendous scrawl. “Done and done. Daddy left a lil' note for the teacher.” He grinned smugly.

“Dad... I hope that’s not a threat...” the older one said in disbelief, taking the notebook from his hands and reading the note. “Teach my daughters something that’s actually useful?” she read aloud.

“Whaddaya think? Just saved ya from homework ‘til the end of the year...” He leaned back on the couch, hands behind his head like he’d saved the world.

The little one huffed, grabbing an eraser and rubbing out the note he’d written.

“I’m not showing that to the teacher...” she frowned.

“Daddy... can you help me?” the younger one asked quietly, holding up her notebook.

“This homework’s already meltin’ my brain...” he sighed, taking the notebook—only for his face to light up with a huge smile. “Six times three? Easy, kid. That’s twenty-one—write it down.” He handed back the notebook, puffing his chest proudly, feeling like father of the year.

At that moment, you lifted your eyes and stared at him in surprise, then raised an eyebrow. The girls looked at Scourge with the same mix of shock and confusion.

“Scourge...” you said softly. “Twenty-one?”

“What? That ain’t right?” He scratched his head, starting to count on his fingers.

“Dad... It’s eighteen...” the older one said with her mouth agape.

Scourge’s eyes went wide, his muzzle visibly flushing even through his fur. He looked away, crossing his arms.

“I-I knew that! C’mon...” He squeezed his own arm, then suddenly got up and left, muttering, disappearing into the kitchen.

You watched Scourge carefully, then turned to your daughters.

“Let Daddy rest his brain. I’ll help you.” Smiling, you closed your book and placed it on the coffee table.

You already knew Scourge would probably stay sulking for quite a while after that scene. But you were also determined to comfort him later and make sure he wouldn’t stay upset about it.

[gaintsnowflake]

❆ UNTIL THE EVEVATORE CHIMED (part two)

PAIRING : dick grayson x fem!reader

ONESHOT : you try to manage your feelings when your boyfriend doesn't remember

WARNINGS : angst. pure angst. heavy loads of grief. mentions of death, test, and memory loss

A/N : im not actually that happy with this part two, but at the same time i need some comfort in my hurt....

part one | masterlist

      THE MORNING AFTER Dick appeared, alive, was nothing you expected. It was quiet, not silent, but quiet enough for you to hear the people on the street and the hum of the air conditioning. 

     You hadn’t let him sleep in your bed. Not yet. He was still a stranger, wearing the skin of someone you loved. A man who used to fall asleep tangled in your limbs like ivy, now resting stiffly on your couch as if the cushions might reject him too. 

     That was, until 2 a.m. Until the nightmares hit— your name falling from his lips like a cry in the dark.  Suddenly you were wrapped in his arms again. His body moving on instinct. Yours doing the same. Holding you just the way he used to when he’d come home from a bad patrol.

      Soon enough, the sun crept through the blinds of the living room like a poorly kept secret. Hovering over the two of you in enough light that you seemed to forget this was technically a stranger, cuddling you in your lover's skin.

      “Good morning, pretty boy,” you said, before the words could filter through your shame. You pulled back fast, like your mouth had betrayed you. “Sorry— I didn’t mean…”

      And that start to made for an awfully weird day between the two of you. The silence wasn't welcoming. It wasn’t the kind you would share as lovers, not the peace after the storm. It was heavy, laced with too much unsaid and too many versions of him you weren’t sure existed anymore. Avoiding each other's pitiful stares seemed to become a dance in the hours before you made breakfast.

      For breakfast, you made sure to be soft with every movement as you placed a bowl of his favorite off brand cereal down in front of him at the table. Before realizing he sat in his exact seat, it must have been instinct.

     “You used to love this brand, swore by it,” you couldn’t help but laugh a bit, the feeling of uncertainty hitting your stomach. A shake in your hand as you watched him take the first bite. 

     “I can tell why,” he says. “Thank you!”

      Two words. And they broke you.

      “Of course.”

      You smiled, blinking too fast, trying to hide the tears. You weren’t sure if he saw them. Maybe it didn’t matter. 

      The silence that followed wasn’t painful this time. More like a mutual understanding. Something old trying to find a heartbeat again.

     “I called Bruce,” you finally said, watching how the name landed. It didn’t. “He’s your adoptive father. He wants us at the manor. They’re going to run some tests. Try to… help.”

     “Test?” His brow furrowed like a child trying to solve a math problem.

     “Just standard things like a brain scan and some questions, shouldn’t be painful,” your smile wavers slightly as you lightly lie. You in truth have no idea what they might put Dick through. “We could head over after breakfast?”

     “Sounds great! Are we taking… the dog?” The name of Haley was on the tip of his tongue, yet he couldn’t seem to remember. Concern seemed to wash over you again, if he couldn’t remember Haley, the dog he basically acts like he personally birthed, how far gone was he?

    “Yeah, Haley can come, I’m sure she will have fun with Titus, or any of your brother's pets really..” 

    “I have a brother?” 

     You felt yet another pang in your chest. The feeling of pieces being taken away from your heart. And you may never know if you would get them back. Yet you had to pretend that you weren’t fading away every time he didn’t remember. Because if you didn’t you knew he’d feel guilt. As if it was his fault. But how can you blame the man who can barely remember his own name.

    “A few, all adopted,” You whispered, as if they’d forgotten about him too. 

    “What are they like? Am I close to them?” 

    “You have a lot of adopted family, or at least somewhat adopted, you're closer with Jason, Tim, Damian,  and your ex, Barabra who is also kinda like your sister now, it's complicated,” You sighed and pinched your nose bridge trying to explain the family that took months for you to fully understand the dynamics of, “But, out of the people who will be there it most likely be Jason, Tim, Damian, Barabra, Steph, and then maybe Cass and Duke, and then Alfred your butler who you love greatly and is basically your grandfather.”

    “Wait, slow down, I’m confused…” Though his brows furrowed, he felt a sense of familiarity in the names. He knew them all, even if he didn’t exactly know.

    It only got worse when you arrived. The manor felt colder than usual. They welcomed him with small gestures, as confusion seemed to take over his face. They all looked similar enough to cause confusion when approaching one another, even confusing Bruce for Jason was a new low. 

    None of the brooding blokes willingly expressed their sorrows but it was obvious with how they rarely removed him from their sightlines, even Damian said, “You cannot do this to us again, Grayson.” Which, in evil demon child words, showed how truly scared he was for his brother.

    When the time they took him away from you came, they led him to the depths of the cave to attempt all kinds of things, he only glanced back to give an awkward but comforting smile. Leaving you a broken mess. 

    Doubts seemed to cause you to double over as sorry sobs came out of your body. You were left to mourn your lover for a second time. But instead of burying him, it was feared he may never know you again. 

   The sobs were loud, sudden, and uninvited. You didn’t cry pretty. Not anymore. Not for this. And before you knew, you ended up in his old room, staring at posters from a circus that didn’t exist anymore. Trinkets half-dusted. Memories that wouldn’t stop knocking.

   You didn’t even hear him come in. Too large to be Dick. Too familiar to be anyone else. Jason sat beside you, his voice breaking just enough to let you know he understood.

    “How are you holding up?” he asked.

    “I’m worried,” you said.

    Jason gave a ghost of a smile. “What if he forgets I tried to kill him once?”

    “You’d never win.”

    “Damn straight,” he muttered.

    The silence sat between you again. Not harsh. Just… grieving.

    Then he asked the question no one else had dared.

    “But how are you?”

    And this time, you didn’t dodge it.

    “Scared,” you whispered. “If he doesn’t remember... The man I love is gone. The one I wanted to marry. I’ll have to watch him rebuild, and maybe I won’t be part of it. Maybe I’ll just be the girl who reminds him of a life he doesn’t want anymore.”

     Jason didn’t speak.

     He didn’t need to.

     And then, like the universe had mercy— a hand touched your shoulder. Familiar. Gentle.

    “I don’t know who I am,” a voice said behind you. “But something in me still knows who you are.”

     You turned.

     His eyes weren’t just blue. They were your sky, the air you breathe.

     “If I fell for you once, what’s stopping me from doing it AGAIN?”

[badassbutterfly1987]

I find the timeline plot hole kinda funny because with some wiggling it isn't hard to fix.

Since John's ticket is torn, he's no longer seen as Ruska Roma and therefore wouldn't be called in for a mission, even if he's still seen as their best assassin (a scene that is replicated in Ballerina). However, in movie 4 he visits Katia who sends him after Killa with the promise of repairing his ticket and backing his duel with the Marquis, establishing that someone can be brought back in after performing a special task.

Headcanon time: the Director looks at the potentially catastrophic cosequences of Eve going after the Hallstatt cult and, even though he was kicked out and under no obligation, calls up John and makes a deal with him; kill or disuade Eve from her mission and he can be Ruska Roma again and have their support (or however much they're able to offer in the circumstances). Since the majority of the assassin world is hunting him and betrayed by Winston (currently hiding with the Bowery King), he really would benefit from one group on his side and agrees to the deal.

Of course, John doesn't go through with the task (much like how he refused to kill Winston for The Elder in movie 3), lets Eve get her vengeance (and takes out osme of the mooks personally), and therefore still outcast from Ruska Roma in a way that doesn't outright contradict movie 4. Just toss in a phone call that establishes that or have John mention the deal when confronting Eve and voila problem solved.

Still firmly headcanon but it does smooth over the plothole a little (though it really should have been in the actual movie).

I saw your tags on your art about Ballerina! I felt the timeline was weird too. Where do you think it fell between?

My theory is that John went to Hallstatt after the events of JW3 and before the start of JW4:

In Ballerina, I noticed a few things: John has no facial injuries and is already missing his ring finger. In JW3, he's seen throughout the movie with cuts on his face, so it can't be during that time. By the start of JW4, his face is healed.

So it must have taken place between JW3 and JW4, specifically after he recovers from the fall and before he goes to kill the Elder, since later the Marquis destroys the Continental and kills Charon (both are present in Ballerina)

The only inconsistencies in Ballerina: - I didn’t see any wounds or scars on the Director’s hands. - The Director still conducts business with John after tearing his ticket.

[sherlock-is-ace]

flint killed gates and immediately silver showed up like "heard the friend position opened up"

[a2zillustration]

Does croissant and gale get married in your story?

It's certainly something they plan to do!

But not just yet.

🥐 Croissant Adventures Masterpost 🥐

[aikawa-kazuki]

well well they better be working on season 2 because i want more of them.

and please no more reasons for akin to cry 😭 give him a break.

[zeb-z]

Cellbit who holds his shit together, pieces together the clues, and solves the issue while walking on a tightrope, where if he cannot correct for the mistakes made, the fallout would be catastrophic. He cannot fail to solve the case, he cannot fail to cure his friends, it isn’t an option in how desperate the situation has gotten.

He’s relied upon by everyone as the leader of the order, shoulders heavy with the burden. He is intense when he needs to be, gentle when a soft touch is required, and keeps his head when the situation is so intense the others are speechless.

He gets through Forevers stubbornness, reassures Pac in his sorrow and indecisiveness. It’s a fucked up scene and he handles it well because he has no other choice.

He doesn’t cry until it’s all over. Just for a second, when the moment is over, and he can take a breath of air. And even then he leads the rest of them through clean up. He makes sure Pac gets home, gets Forever to a proper place to rest, ensures the rest of the group is okay after what they just witnessed.

Then the moment he leaves the others, he finds another critical clue that he can’t just ignore or put to the back burner.

Another mystery, another crisis, another billion clues he’ll have to organize and follow up on and solve, because he’s the investigation guy, the leader of the order, and the island is counting on him. The kids are counting on him. He doesn’t get a chance to truly breathe. To fully sit down and let himself crumble, let someone, anyone, else be the strong foundation, because if he can’t solve this, who will?

Even with his family returning to him, it’s no wonder he feels so alone. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, I guess.

[mbta-unofficial]

You know, when editing this post I deleted a paragraph I feel I now really should have kept which elaborated the decentralization of what I was describing. It was a little rambling and I opted not to rewrite it but that was clearly a mistake. No individual manager or fund holds the veto power that I’m describing. Rather, senators and representatives keep a close eye on the bond market and its movements because if they signal support for policies that threaten the economic foundations of US debt relations, market conditions adjust. When those adjustments scare representatives, or when certain individuals who are highly positioned in finance sound certain alarms, they adjust course in ways that reflect the influence that debt buyers have on policy.

Like Chomsky’s propaganda model in Manufacturing Consent, no individual senator needs to have a kill button on any given New York Times story for the aggregate forces of selection bias, self interest, and institutional self-preservation to result in a system where news stories reflect the interests of the powerful to a disproportionate degree. The bond market holds a comparably invisible sway on policy due to the same forces. Selection bias in representatives and senators favors people with connections to wealth, education and powerful institutions. Those institutions and that wealth is upkept by returns from capital, and in general markets prefer stability over risk so containing system shocks and preserving the status quo reinforces the mindfulness of avoiding shocks in debt policy.

The ownership of american debt and its debt to earnings (taxes) ratio causes those same senators and representatives to make choices that are mindful of the relationship to their creditors when they consider tax strategy and spending. The relationship is far more secure than one of default. Nobody seriously believes that the US is at grave risk of default on its debts. There is a facet of Bond Availability that is legislative though, which is that if Congress runs a deficit that is high enough, the supply of bonds will have to go up to execute the borrowing.

Also, where campaign finance is a large and relatively obvious force on politics, this is a parallel more subtle form of influence that mere campaign finance reform would not entirely eliminate. Also also, the issue does require nuance because a modern economy requires modern financial instruments even if there are negative political externalities, which means that merely not having debt wouldn’t solve the problem to anyone’s satisfaction and would create huge numbers of new problems.

My primary point was less to precisely describe the system, which I am not an expert in, and more to pick out the ways in which the political postures of democrats and republicans don’t reflect uniform commitment to any class or interest. People know intuitively that politicians commitment to welfare, prosperity, and the working class is conditional and rarely genuine. But the bond market reflects an interesting case of how politicians can say one thing, either “control the deficit” for republicans or “spend to stimulate the economy” for democrats while both playing by the same rules and being mindful of the same reality. “control the deficit” isn’t just a backwards rationale for cutting medicare to pay for billionaire tax cuts, although it is mostly that. It’s also on some level a real position with arguments that people might be sympathetic to if it wasn’t ideologically charged in the way that it is.

Trump is getting his primary policy goal shredded because bean counters in his own party are rightly pointing out that more deficits isn’t ok, and on some level, that is undemocratic because Trump is the leader the US elected. I don’t think that’s a problem: I hate the bill. But future administrations that have less horrific policies may have their policies shredded by the very same bean counters and its worth knowing something about their decision-making process, which will be just as undemocratic then as now. Reducing the total US debt might be a means to loosen the influence held by the bond market on policy, but interestingly for now that’s a policy only vocally held by republicans.

If you’ve been paying attention to the budget bill, you’ll occasionally hear people talking about the bond market, and the threat that it “flips.” It’s fair to say that this is one of the least democratic facets of our country. It’s also preventing large parts of the trump agenda from being implemented, although not necessarily the part you would want. What’s interesting about this is that it’s not an issue that the democratic party has historically cared about.

The “bond market” is the appetite that hedge funds, billionaires, banks, insurance companies and pension funds have for US treasury bonds. These are the primary way that the government raises money other than taxes. If people don’t want bonds, the government raises interest rates until they do, because some people might be unwilling to buy a bond at 4% interest but would be willing to buy at 4.5%. When the government needs the money, they keep raising until they get it. They have no choice. When interest rates on these bonds are low, 4-4.2%, that means buyers trust the government. They’ll get their money back, and they’ll accept a lower rate for the certainty. When buyers don’t trust the government, they pull back and wait for higher rates, 4.3-4.6% typically. If rates ever break 4.4 something is usually very wrong. But there’s another piece to it. Treasury bonds are issued at 3 years and at 10 years. Usually, the 10 year bonds are more in demand, so the interest rates are lower. this is because ten years of interest is a lot more money that three years of interest, IF you trust that the government will still be willing to pay you at the end of that period. If 3 year bonds are more in demand than 10 year bonds, buyers are choosing to take less money over a shorter time period over more money over a longer time period. Why? Because they believe something really bad is going to happen to either them or the government. And remember, we aren’t talking about people here. Even if you have a couple million in a house and retirement, you don’t have enough money to move this needle. This needle moves only when people managing tens or hundreds of billions of dollars of other people’s money lose faith in the government.

But the interests of the managers of everyone’s 401ks and the managers of blackrock and fannie mae and freddie mac aren’t your interests. and they’re the ones who can decide to stop buying american debt, which is what kicks this off. And if they aren’t buying the debt, then the US goes broke. Literally. They can only raise as much money after taxes as people buy in bonds. And if people start dumping american debt for only part of what the government says it’s worth, people won’t even think about buying new debt when the used debt is so much cheaper.

The reason this is undemocratic is because congress can’t pass a bill that makes the bond market flip or the whole economy collapses. That’s not an exaggeration: if the US can’t raise money through selling bonds, government workers lose their jobs. If private funds start selling cut rate US bonds, retirees savings get wiped out. If credit companies would rather buy cheap US bonds than lend to private companies, small businesses stop making payroll. When small companies go bankrupt and stop relying on large service companies for IT, supply chain, and so on, those companies lay off workers. One way or another, everyone is at risk of losing their jobs. As a result, Blackrock, Warren Buffet, big banks and other large capital holders hold a shadow veto on any piece of legislation the US might try to pass.

That said, I want to be very careful. Because the shadow veto held by these fund managers is also the basis of antisemitic conspiracies about the “people controlling the politicians” this issue is politically radioactive, and when you talk to democratic voters, they will usually dismiss this kind of talk as republican propaganda. Historically, Democrats have not actually campaigned around debts or deficits, while republicans have bizarrely postured themselves as “fiscally conservative.” What the republican strategists recognized was that they could use the conspiracy theory while also pushing the grain of truth that if your government is in debt, it will pay its bills before it ever pays you. Lowering taxes was good for the donors and lowering spending could be spun as pro-democracy when it really meant destroying your healthcare. Democrats didn’t crowd the issue or make an image fight out of it though because trying to walk the line of “I opposed the shadow veto held by billionaires on policy but not in an antisemitic way” in politics makes you sound like a liar, or worse, a communist.

Something to think about

[annalyticall]

I still can't forgive Horikoshi for setting up Hawks to be in the perfect position to change the system and then have him... not do that

[keeps-ache]

physically i feel like i've experienced exhaustion going at least 75 on a side road while i was just chilling and standing next to my own mailbox when it hit me with its stupid 2025 ford f150 But at least my eyeballs aren't itchy :)

[samueldays]

Rene Girard is not a marxist cuck, I'm pretty sure, I've read some of his stuff and found it interesting. Rene Girard is a philosopher-historian-mythologist who writes about mimesis, the process of humans forming desires and beliefs in large part by copying each other and joining bandwagons.

"societies find scapegoats" is also vague IMO, Girard writes more specifically about the aspect where scapegoating intersects with mimesis to shape society: one person blames the scapegoat, for real or fake reasons, and then everyone else blames the scapegoat too, and if the scapegoat is driven out the community can rest easily because this shared belief of the scapegoat's guilt provides an easy transition into a shared belief that the problem is solved. If the cause of the problem was transient or the cause was societal unrest, scapegoating appears to work because it's followed by better conditions. Scapegoating and mimesis are part of what defines a culture, as expressed in this humorously crude political compass:

"Who does this society blame?" is a powerful and inflammatory question for doing anthropology.

Girard also has an interesting take on the big question of why Christianity took off like it did and reshaped the world so much: it's the subversion of the scapegoat practice.

While some form of scapegoating is (or was) widespread around the world, the specific English word "scapegoat" stems from the ritual described in the Book of Leviticus, chapter 16: the high priest is to take two goats, cast lots for which is which, one goat shall be sacrificed to the Lord in the usual public bloody way, the other goat shall have the transgressions of Israel placed on its head and be sent away from the people into the wilderness, called the "escape goat" and then linguistic drift happens. This "escape goat" was traditionally driven over a cliff and cast down to die as an out-of-sight kind of sacrifice. But it's not a lasting solution, the Israelites do it again each year.

Enter Jesus.

And all they in the synagogue, when they heard these things, were filled with wrath, And rose up, and thrust him out of the city, and led him unto the brow of the hill whereon their city was built, that they might cast him down headlong.

-Luke 4:28-29 (KJV)

And they began to accuse him, saying, We found this fellow perverting the nation, and forbidding to give tribute to Caesar, saying that he himself is Christ a King.

-Luke 23:2 (KJV)

God has come in human flesh, and oh the irony, people want to kill Him or drive Him out to make their problems go away. They make a scapegoat of Jesus, they blame Him for inciting rebellion, they want Him dead to evade the wrath of God the Romans.

The priests of Israel gather to plot against Jesus, Caiaphas tries to be utilitarian about the good of the many, but he's the high priest whose job is to perform the sacrifice and he finds himself stumbling back into the sacrifice pattern: "it is expedient for us, that one man should die for the people, and that the whole nation perish not."

But the message of Christianity here is: the scapegoat is innocent, it's you who is the problem.

And the argument from Girard, as I understand it (I have not read all his books), is that this is a shocking change that Christianity pushed on the world. But it's hard for people to see it when they're close to Christianity. "What's water?" asked the fish.

Scapegoating ran deep and wide around the world. Scapegoating was the glue that held cultures together. Scapegoating wasn't thought of as a bad thing, it was perceived as a basic feature of the universe. Humans need to blame like humans need to eat. But it was a temporary fix that papered over problems, so a new problem would come along and people needed to find a scapegoat again.

My libtard friends tell me my support of Trump makes me a fascist and that I should read Rene Girard, a French marxist cuck who wrote about how societies find scapegoats to externalize internal tensions. Even Girard would agree you don't have a society left if you bring in enough people who work to undermine it from the inside.

See, here's the thing. I'm not familiar with Rene by name. But I will say this. Generally speaking there is a huge misunderstanding of what it is that fascism actually is. Because we are at a point, where most of the people who use the word fascism are literally just referring to people they don't like. Because going to church is fascism, being white is fascism, wanting the law to be upheld is fascism, wanting borders is somehow fascism.

And apparently reducing governmental influence on the people it's meant to govern is somehow also fascism....... Despite the fact that a huge core component of fascism is quite literally the fact that it is an authoritarian ideology. In regards to that, you would want significantly more influence by the government not less. So...... Yeah.