#it's for the best in terms of just...being able to do the job

[axl-ion]

I like Speeding Bullet (Sniper x Scout) as those 2 guys that are rough around the edges, but in different ways. Feel free to read this either platonically, romantically or aesthetically.

Scout is the type to always come home with scraped knees and bruises all around the body. He had rough childhood because he grew up partaking in violence and fights. He's got abandonment issues, he yearns for recognition and attention. Yet his playstyle encourages some level of being sneaky, because Scout is a Pick class - as a Scout you should flank the other team, pick your fights wisely and then run away if you survive. You're TOAST if you face a Sentry, unless you position yourself in that perfect blind spot, where the Sentry can't see you, but you can pistol it down (provided you HAVE a pistol and aren't like me who runs around with the Cleaver). You should NOT face Soldiers or Demomen unless you're great with jumping around the rockets and pipes. But also Scout is the class that can push the cart and cap points twice the speed of other classes. In that direction, Scout is overcomplishing.

Sniper meanwhile is a recluse. He stays away from everyone (reflected in his playstyle, where you stay as far away as you can). He doesn't really trust people ("Have a plan to kill everyone you meet" line in Meet the Sniper and when he attacked Miss Pauling and Demoman in the comics). He grew up around violence, most likely being the target of it, having to defend himself by tossing stones at the perpetrators. He's very proud of himself, but hates being in the spotlight. He's overly self reliant, seemingly doesn't talk much to the other Mercs besides Scout, Spy and maybe others, but we don't really know. He's seeking the approval from his parents, which he isn't really getting met with. He looks a lot older than he actually is, getting mistaken by people to be closer to Medic, Spy, Heavy and Engineer in age, when he's actually closer to Scout, being just 2-3 years older. He's also a bit filthy, not just talking about him pissing in jars, but his ungloved hand is forever dirty (a detail that's often not drawn in by other fans) probably from gunpowder residue, cigarette debris and dirt (while not present in game, Sniper is shown to be able to climb up places to do his job). Also Sniper is really weak in close combat (unless you have the Jarate + Bushwacka combo)

They are contrasting in their roughness in a way, that to me, makes them fit together as both eachother's counterpart (much like Scout and Engineer/Heavy are counterparts (I can't decide which one is more of a counterpart to Scout in terms of gameplay) or Sniper and Spy are counterparts... Getting in the face of the bitch you want to kill runs in the family Ig). When it comes to gameplay, yes, they are total contrasts. Up close figher vs. distance fighter, but they are both Pick classes. They have to pick their target. They are also both young people with personalities and backgrounds that contrast eachother - one grew up in a big family, probably starved for attention, the other grew up in small family that he wants to make proud. Attention starved vs. attention avoidant. Running around vs. standing still (don't do that btw, you need to move sometimes as a Sniper or the enemy Sniper will get a free domination of you).

Hopefully with this short essay I demonstrated my love of the building principle of contrast, because yes, contrast is the best.

[onthehighwaytomel]

I admit I haven't been super on top of the news lately (moving next week, work stress, recent birthday plans, protecting my mental health, etc.)

But isn't it a good thing that Biden stepped down? He's clearly not fit for four more years (or even one more election cycle) because of his age, health, and mental capacity. And he would be extremely unlikely to win against Trump, even more so after 7/13.

I'm no Harris stan by any means; I'll be holding my nose and voting for her, just like I did with Biden and Hillary. And I know it's not ideal to change candidates less than four months out. But at least she's not decrepit and seems to be mentally present and engaged enough for this kind of thing. It was the right decision, one that needed to be made for a while now. We didn't need Senator Feinstein 2: Electric Boogaloo.

The bar might be in hell, but I'd rather have the only actually viable candidate against Trump clear that bar.

[wackywatchdotcom]

man, i have to go do something in a minute here, but i am CONSTANTLY think about like... how long DOES the average circus member last before they abstract?

we dont have a lot of information about the passage of time in general in the show (which is infinitely painful to me, who likes to know about technical details very in-depth. but i understand writing wise why its like this) other than that the first 4 episodes take place over the span of 4(? or 5, depending on how you interpret the ending scene of episode 4) (which this also intrigues me that 8-9 days will pass over the course of the show... and also makes me curious about just how eventful the average day truly is in the circus!) days and that everyone in the circus has likely been here for at MINIMUM 2 years

(i say that because jax says "weve been stuck here for years" which implies that all of the people there at the time have been there for more than one year and because of the plural years, a minimum of 2. maybe. he also could just be oversimplifying things but unless given reason to think otherwise im interpretting the line this way)

we know of a at least ~18 people whove been in the circus total, but i frankly think its more than that. we know ribbit abstracted before kaufmo, but we dont know when ribbit joined the circus, or how much time was between these

it also depends on how long you think the circus members have been trapped for. i personally think this has been going on for at minimum 10 years (i have my own hcs abt it being ~16 years, but thats just hc and based on a bunch of my interpretations of random details) but we dont really know this, and how long this has been happening, and how long kingers been here, and whether or not kinger has or hasnt been here the longest of anyone whos ever been in the circus

like if its been like 5 years thatd mean like... 3-4 people join the circus each year (on average). if its 10 years thatd mean 1-2 people join the circus each year (on average). and we dont even know how many people the circus has in it at one time on avg!! like theres the theory it floats around 6, but thats just a theory and not smth we know for sure. point being, we dont even know how often people join the circus and that effects a LOT of things

idk..... i guess the question really is 'how often can a person last in the circus before they literally cannot take it anymore' which is a much sadder question. we dont even know how long ago queenie abstracted, or ribbit abstracted. did zooble know ribbit? did ribbit get here before or after zooble did??

it just haunts me a little

[bidokja]

genius archer's streaming is actually a much more fun read than i was expecting and handles the disability aspect better than i thought it would

[evieelyzabethh]

"glue song"

✭"don't forget to kiss me or else you'll have to miss me"✭ ~ How Arcane characters show affection headcannons {fem reader}

cast ✧ Vi, Ekko, Jayce, Viktor, Mel

cw ☞slightly pervy jayce (you can't pry him from my cold dead hands), fluff

♞Vi♞

♞Vi kisses like she is starving, and you are the first morsel of food she can get her hands on. Like she is drowning, and you are her first breath of air. It's not just desperate and hungry, but there's also a thankfulness to it. Thank you for sticking with her, thank you for being so patient with her, thank you for loving her. Vi doesn't do anything half-assedly, especially not kissing her pretty girlfriend. It's probably her favorite form of affection because it's so versatile. It doesn't have to lead to the bed if neither of you want it to, sometimes it's just on the couch, you sat in between her large thighs, positively falling into her.

♞Her favorite place to kiss you would be on your lips as she holds you chin in her rough hands. She would kiss you thoroughly and deeply, her tongue languidly kissing your own without a rush or care in the world. She is quite prone to getting overwhelmed herself, squeezing the air from both of your lungs and having the nerve to pout at you when you pull away. On her messier days, she leaves a string of spit behind, but she's always kind enough to wipe it away with a few swipes of her thumb. With every inch you pull back she leans in a mile more, chasing you as you try to catch your breath and when she does pin you down, she holds you impossibly close so you can't escape again until she's had her fill. Even then, she holds you in her large arms and tangles your limbs together, at one point sliding her hand beneath your shirt just to lay it on your tummy and feel it move as you breath.

♞Vi is also secretly a space heater. She runs incredibly hot and because of this, sleeps naked and is always down to give you her jacket. It just makes sense in her mind, seeing her clothing wrapped around you. She likes sharing most things; oddly specifically, drinks. She's gross and thinks it's hot that you're technically swapping spit. When it comes to alcohol, especially if you're not a big drinker, both of you will nurse off the same drink, her tipping your head back and pouring it into your mouth when you get a bit too tipsy to do so yourself without spilling.

♞Her go to pet name is 'pretty' and I will die on this hill. It's the thing that defines you for her. She's an idiot and a loser and she knows there's more to you than just how you look, but she just can't help it that whenever she sees you, all her reptile brain can think is 'pretty'. She absolutely abuses it, too. Besides this, I also think she would use those sleazy kinda bar pet names, like sweets or babydoll. Not in a creepy sleazy way, but that is just realistically what she would've been hearing for terms of endearment.

♞Slight side tangent, in a modern AU she is definitely one of those mascs that gets a hold to some Calvin Klein boxers and takes advantage of every opportunity possible to show the waistband off. Part of it is just her showing affection, even if you can reach tall shelves on your own, she still insists on getting the items for you. This carriers over into many things, like twisting open pickle jars or opening your soda cans if you're someone into longer nails. While she isn't as good with building things as Jinx, I think she would definitely be able to manage putting together the furniture in your shared home. Would it take all day? Well, yes! But you chose to make the best out of it and fuck on top of the furniture to test its sturdiness and congratulate your girlfriend on a job well done.

♞On the topic of nails in a modern AU, she would love a partner who gets them done absolutely goes feral if you get them customized to her liking, like coloring them after her eyes or hair or sneaking her name in there somewhere. She feels like she's made it in life when she can pay to get them done. It seems like a selfless action, but it would be a lie to say she gets nothing out of it. The scratch mark you leave on her back after break her brain a little.

★Ekko★

★Ekko loves cooking for his girlfriend! I feel like that would definitely be his main love language along with quality time. As stated before, you two would spend a lot of time in his kitchen, often times with some source of music providing a background noise to the nonsense that you concoct together, occasionally slow dancing while there's time to kill while waiting for something to finish in the oven. Food fights may occasionally occur, but he does a thorough job of licking you clean after. He claims he 'can't let good food go to waste'.

★He would also have a sketchbook absolutely full of you. You can tell when a new edition is about to be added as well. Ekko isn't loud, but he isn't quiet either. His foot is always tapping, he's usually humming something, he always has something to keep his hands busy. He's hardly ever still, except for those moments when you fully wash over him. Sometimes the lighting is exceptionally beautiful, sometimes it's in appreciation of how the wind moves the world around you, and some moments are just so breathtaking beautiful he has to take a moment to go silent, still, and stare. Sometimes he'll just tell you to be in his presence and be pretty so he can properly commit you to paint and commemorate you forever in oils and brush strokes. He's not above nude paintings, though those strokes look and feel much different.

★Ekko is the CEO of quick kisses. He's a busy guy!! He's running an entire commune. He makes the absolute most out of moments when you have the world to yourselves, but most of what you receive are quick passing kisses on your cheeks or the corner of your mouth. He misses on purpose because he simply does not believe in starting things he doesn't have the time to finish. For this reason, I don't think he'd be a big quickie guy. A kiss can easily just be a kiss, but sex is not something meant to be done in 5 minutes.

★Ekko's favorite place to kiss you would also be your lips. He's a romantic, what can I say!!! At the end of every day, you ask each other how your day was after you've both showered and gotten comfy. You both sit on his bed, set beside each other, your legs haphazardly laid over his as he casually massages your thigh. Sometimes you're both a bit too tired and aren't listening that hard, the occasional tidbit catching your attention making either of you sit straight and get closer until eventually you laid on top of him, both of you half asleep. No matter how much energy either of you has, a good night kiss is to be had. When Ekko doesn't need to be quick, he is impossibly slow. He has all the time and then some.

★Not only does he demand a good night kiss, but a good morning kiss to. He gets pouty without it. And sassy. He tells Scar, very loudly so that everyone can hear him, that you hate and don't love him anymore and he is just so deeply hurt that you would let your boyfriend, you're one true love, leave the house without kissing him goodbye and doesn't shut up about it until he gets his goddamn kiss.

★He loves picking out your outfits. He prides himself on the way he dresses and out of everyone, I think Ekko has the most domestic skills. I've already discussed how well he cooks, but I wouldn't be surprised if he also knew his way around a needle and thread. He is not just wearing any clothes; he has a sense of style that he is very proud of. This being said, he loves going shopping with you in a modern AU and he loves when you eventually get comfortable enough to not retreat into the bathroom when changing from outfit to outfit. He's the one making you do the little spin so he can appreciate the outfit from all angles.

★As far as pet names go, I think Ekko would keep it simple with "babe" or "baby" for more casual usages. I also think he would be fond of "my girl" and expects it from you in return because yes he is "your boy" and yes you are "his girl" and yes he loves you very very much. He wouldn't be a stranger to "my love", especially in the mornings or at night when your face is the first and last thing he sees when he closes his eyes. It makes him feel extra sappy.

❂Jayce❂

❂He is all over you at all times of the day omg. I feel like of everyone, Jayce would be the clingiest. This isn't to say he's attached to you at the hip, but his favorite part of the day is getting to go home to you. You're cooking and there he is sitting on the counter yapping about Hextech or something. You're taking a shower and he wants to join. And it's not just a proximity thing, it's also a touchy thing. Any reason or way he can find to touch you, he is taking it. He doesn't care if it's pathetic, dammit, he wants to be held.

❂Jayce would absolutely thrive in a modern AU. He would be the guy whose social media page are all posts about his girlfriend and does he just love to show you off. He would spoil you so good, but rather than buying anything you wanted like Mel would, I think he would also really enjoy making you presents. This isn't to say he doesn't enjoy buying you things, one of your staple pieces of jewelry is the gold anklet he bought with his initials on it.

❂Physical touch is easily his love language but he cannot handle all that, or rather, he freezes in situations where you initiate it. His hands tend to naturally find your waist and will occasionally, if he's feeling bold enough, slip down to your ass, but one time when it was freezing out, you offered your tits as handwarmers and he got a nosebleed. Jayce is definitely an undercover perv but due to never having a girlfriend before and being completely foreign with the concept that he doesn't need to hide how badly he wants to jump your bones at nearly all hours of the day, he freezes when it comes to you initiating contact.

❂He would definitely be the type to get you teddy bears and flowers just whenever. It's never with any rhyme or reason and it happens rather sporadically, just when he is out and about for any reason and thinks of you and wants to bring you something home. He thinks of you a lot, actually. Mel and Viktor love the both of you, but sometimes he goes a bit overboard when it comes to talking about you. This being said, he jumps at any opportunity to show you off. He loves going to gala's because he likes seeing you in pretty clothes and hanging off his arm. He also likes kissing you in public, even if no one's paying attention. He is well versed in the art of delayed gratification and loves getting the both of you riled up knowing full well he does not have the balls to actually fuck you with people around (he gets loud and is very well aware of this)

❂ Jayce's absolute favorite place to kiss you is your neck. He usually starts with your lips, large hands cupping your cheeks and soft lips moving over yours until he gets more antsy. His hands travel from your cheek to your neck then begin to creep under your clothes to grab and knead at your warm skin. Then he would move down your face, peppering kisses across your lips, down your jaw, then down you neck, panting as he goes along and his hands getting rougher as he tries to remain composed. He stops there for a moment, breath fanning over skin that is now slightly red from his canines nipping you and his fresh stubble scratching the area, reminding himself to be gentle and not take more than he's given. He pleads with you, his own cheeks flushed from the heat of the movement as he mutters out his "please...". He's begged you time and time again to not make him verbalize exactly what he wants, but you are relentless. At least he has the manners to ask sweetly beforehand.

❂He is the type to lay right on top of you. After you've gotten comfy in your bed, thrown on your pajama's, maybe are doing a bit of light reading before bed, he comes around to disturb your peace and lay himself right on top of you, smothering you with kisses while he lays there. He eventually moves out of his starfish position to lay his head on your chest and wrap his arms around your torse. He's like a giant, weighted, warm teddy bear

❂One of his go-to pet names would be 'baby', but only when it just the two of you. He is also quite fond of 'gorgeous' and he always has a stupid smirk on his face when he says it. His favorite would be 'sweetheart'. Slightly off topic, he would be the first to jump the gun and start calling you his wife. Especially to council members that are annoying him and taking up time he'd rather be spending with you, he is very quick to pull a "Sorry, gotta get home to my wife." He bought to matching rings for your one-year anniversary to sell the story better.

☽Viktor☾

☽As far as physical affection goes, I think he would be the least touchy. I think the touches would be concentrated on your face, lazily tracing all of your features, marking where your cheeks sink below your cheek bones, the divot between your chin and lips, and where your face is most pronounced. While he wouldn't call himself an artist, he could probably mold your face in clay from the number of times his feather light fingers have caressed every inch of it. He's utterly entranced by it. His mind often wanders while listening to you speak, eyes roaming from your lips and taking note of them in proportion to your eyes, getting lost in the color of them until his eyes flit to your nose and the way your nostrils slightly flare out. It's very mechanical, but that's just the way his brain works.

☽Less of a hugger but he does like to keep his arms around you. Especially on date nights when you're cuddled up on your couch, a myriad of snacks in between the two of you, your head resting on his shoulder while he tries to hide his snores as he falls in and out of consciousness. You accuse of him trying to go to sleep and he tells you he was just "resting his eyes".

☽He would make you all the trinkets in the world. Many of them start as failed experiments of his or scraps from projects past that need to be repurposed, but the thought is always there. He hates to waste and there's really no need to when he has a girlfriend he can make gifts for. Your vanity is full of pretty side projects, decorative boxes for your makeup, ornate music boxes, tea sets and tiny figurines. Your desk would be full of special tchotchkes.

☽Speaking of tchotchkes, I think that would be one of his playful nicknames for you. It sounds absolutely delectable in his accent. I think he would also go for the classier terms of endearment such as 'dear', 'love', 'darling' as well as variations of them in his mother tongue. He would love teaching you his native language, both as a way to bond even more but also to make sure he never loses it.

☽He would also be big on compliments. He is probably your number one supporter, but not in the loud sports fan with a huge foam finger kinda way, but in a quieter more personal way. He is extremely confident in you and your abilities as well as being endlessly proud of everything you do. He is in complete awe of you, and he tells you as such. It is impossible to feel bad about yourself in his presence, he keeps a mental rolodex of every accomplishment of yours to combat any sort of negative self-talk.

☽Not a big PDA guy. He would rather throw himself out of a window than suck face with you in Jayce's presence. He is a big hand-holder which is disastrous when doing it while walking around because neither one of you can walk straight to save your life. It's not even an issue with his leg because you do it too. You bump into each other all the time, though in the winter it is more often on purpose to keep warm.

☽Viktor's favorite place to kiss you is on your forehead. It's simple and it's sweet and more often than not what he can get away with the most. With how much time he spends in the lab, he has grown to deeply appreciate those quiet moments with you, holding your hand under the table as he works in the low light, papers rustling as he tries to find the specific formula he's looking for. Jayce is across the table, snoring loud enough to keep the both of you awake. You look like you want to kiss him, he can feel your gaze on his lips as your fingers tangle through his hair and he turns to you and gives you a small smile then a sweet kiss on your forehead. When he pulls away, he leans into you and you sit there for a moment, nose to nose. "Just a few moments, love, I'm almost done." You giggle through tiredness. "It won't be a few moments, Vik." And he appreciates your understanding more than most things in the world. "No, it won't. But I'll try to make it quick.", he promises and then plants another kiss on you

☽He really likes reading with you, or just doing activities that allow the both of you to be doing something together without necessarily needing to talk. It doesn't even have to be something he's good at, it could be a painting session, or a pottery lesson, and he would be down. He would also be the type to try and pick up on your hobbies. You like to crochet; he's also picking up a crochet needle to try and work alongside you. And he's not too proud to ask for help, he likes a relationship where both parties are constantly learning and exploring.

☼Mel☼

☼Mel is definitely the type to spoil you. She has so much money and is not afraid to use it. You really like that dress you saw while window shopping? She's already ordered it to be tailored to your exact size. You like that bracelet? You wake up to it in a box on your nightstand the next morning and spot her wearing a matching piece later on that day. It's not to try and buy your love, she just thinks you deserve the world, and if she could buy it, it would be your wedding present.

☼Mel love holding hands at all times and specifically is the type to rub the skin between your pointer finger and thumb. Her skin would also be so soft, touching her feels like touching smooth velvet. She also likes to kiss your knuckles and the inside of your wrist before letting go, the mark her lipstick feeling like a heavy imprint of her lips.

☼She is also very fond of kissing your nose. She thinks 'booping' you with her finger is childish, but she is not above a little peck on the nose, which is the abridged version of her usual ritual of pecking your forehead, nose, and lips. Those kisses are usually taken in the morning when you go your separate ways for the day, particularly those that she knows will be long and tedious. She likes to think she takes part of you with her when she does it. She misses your intellect, she misses the silent indicators of your presence, she misses how you feel. Some days, she greatly yearns to return to you. She feels like a physical weight is lifted off her back and she can actually breathe.

☼She loves spending wash days with you. Those locs take hours and you are there right by her side, gossiping and discussing everything and nothing while royal hairdressers take down or retwist that beautiful head of hair. It's even better if you're the one doing it for her. She likes the feeling of your fingers in her scalp, massaging out the wrinkles in her brain as she goes boneless in between your legs. I, unfortunately, do not think she could return the favor. She is like basically royalty; her whole life someone was likely doing it for her. She would try and learn!! It would just take a little bit.

☼I do think she would be very good at doing your makeup. She has the base routine DOWN and usually likes to do simpler eye looks, though she can do whatever you request of her. All hell breaks loose when it comes time to do lips, and her gloss would end up all over your face as she is overcome with the unabating urge to leave glossy kiss marks all over your face . You would return the favor, whatever pigmented shade you previously wore landing all over her flawless skin, and she would savor the moment with a photo she keeps in her journal

☼In a modern AU, I think she would be really good at carnival games. I can't explain it, she just would. She's not the biggest fan carnivals and fairs as they're a bit too loud and crowded for her taste, but if you wanted to go, she certainly would never say no to you. While I think Vi would try very hard to beat them only to fail, Mel would be unexplainably good at them and win you tons of prizes.

☼Mel carries a purse on her at all times and has absolutely everything in there. Pads, tampons, ibuprofen, lip gloss, hand sanitizer, wet wipes, anything you could possibly need is in that bag of hers. She also carries the big bag so you only have to carry around outfit purses than can barely handle a handful of coins. She also loves matching outfits with you!!! You probably own so many matching outfits, matching pjs, matching workout sets, as well as multiple items of clothing that are the exact same except for sizing.

☼She would be another one who constantly talks about her partner, albeit, in a much smoother way than Jayce does. Jayce jumps at every opportunity to bring you up in conversation, it's always flows naturally with Mel but she also brags far more. It's always, "That's great but my girlfriend..." or finding ways to talk about big accomplishments knowing damn well no one else can compete. See her girlfriend has a doctorate, or her girlfriend won this prestigious award, or her girlfriend was the first to do this...what were you saying about your wife though???

☼As for pet names, I think Mel would be another person who uses "my love" or "my dear" but I also think she'd be the type to refer to you as "princess". Once again, coming from royalty, she treats you as such, and that also comes down to how she refers to you. She also just likes calling you by name, usually in her sappier moments followed by her last name She can't get enough of the way it sounds rolling off her tongue and the two of you together just sounds perfect.

[burntheedges]

Meet the Teacher

Din Djarin x f!reader | 11.4k | 18+ | main masterlist | ao3

summary: After your first few weeks as Nevarro's new schoolteacher, there was only one student's parent that you hadn't yet met. When you decided to send Grogu's dad a message, though, you never would have expected where it led.

a/n: Din's back! This is my fic for @penvisions' give a little love challenge. My prompt was mistaken identity. 👀 Once I figured out where I wanted to take that, this was pretty fun to write! Thank you @katareyoudrilling for being the best beta and helping me whip this one into shape. Also, I did attempt to research how messaging would work in Star Wars, got conflicting results, and then gave up and decided I can do what I want. So consider this almost canon-aligned as far as messaging goes. lol

tags/warnings: epistolary, fluff, space texting, reader is an elementary-ish teacher with no physical description, a lot of school-talk, elementary school student shenanigans, flirting, teasing, pet names (cyar'ika/sweetheart, mesh'la/beautiful), mistaken identity, misunderstandings, Star Wars cursing (kriff, kark, dank farrik), a bit of ogling, smut (kissing, fondling, grinding, fingering (f!receiving), p-in-v sex, creampie)

...

You haven’t been on Nevarro long, but you’ve learned a lot about your new students already. When Karga recruited you, all the way from the Mid Rim, he’d told you it was a small but growing city with a small but growing school. They finally had enough students to need to split them up into multiple classrooms, and that was where you came in. You’d taken the job because you liked the idea of helping to build something, and because you were ready for something new.

You were taking over the room with younger children, which was your preference. And so far they’d been wonderful to work with – they were all so excited by new things, so happy to learn. Each day was a joy as you watched them grow.

As you got to know the kids, you also got to know the parents. Teaching the youngest children made you more well-known around town, and it had been easier to settle in than you expected. There was Diima, who was learning how to braid her own hair and had been teaching some of the other kids – her moms had invited you over for dinner and you thought you might end up being friends. Oora, the young Twi’lek who loved spaceships of all kinds – his father ran the food stall in the market that always had the best fruit. And Tamar and Ilana, the twins, who very intentionally never dressed alike – their parents ran the med clinic. 

And then there was Grogu, your smallest student. You’d never met his dad, though you knew of him from Karga and Cara. But so far you’d only learned that Grogu missed him and that he was off planet a lot. He was never there to pick up Grogu, at least not in the few weeks you’d been on Nevarro so far. It was always Cara or IG-11, or a few times even Karga himself. 

As you waved goodbye to the last of the kids for the day – Kiran, a young Mirialan whose mother was a mechanic at the shipyard – you collapsed into your desk chair with a sigh. Cara had come by to pick up Grogu again, but you’d been hoping to finally meet his elusive father. The kids would have a show at the end of the term to sing some songs and show off what they’d been learning. So far you’d been able to invite all of the parents personally when they came to pick the kids up. You sighed again and tapped your data pad – you’d just have to send him a message.

You’d sent him a message only once before, when you first started, just to introduce yourself. You hadn’t gotten a message back.

You stared down at the pad for a moment, biting your lip. Just be straightforward, to the point. You nodded and scrolled down to the contact for Grogu-parent. You saved all of your students’ parents’ contact info that way, though you added their names to the end if you knew them.

you: Hello! This is Grogu’s teacher, I sent you a message a couple of weeks ago when I started. I just wanted to invite you to our end of term show and to let you know that his schedule will be changing a bit, as we’ll be adding a rehearsal once a week. His class will be singing some songs and showing off what they have learned this term. They’re all very excited about it!

You sent another message with the date and time of the show and wondered how you should sign off.

you: I will also let Cara and IG know. Please let me know if you have any questions and if you’ll be able to attend. Thank you!

Once the message was sent, you leaned back in your chair, hoping you’d hear back from him this time. 

You were startled when your pad chimed before you’d even settled into your chair.

Grogu-parent: Hello. Thank you. I will be there.

You grinned. A response! And so quickly! You needed to say something back, to make it clear this was a way he could get in contact with you if needed.

you: Great! I know that will make Grogu very happy. He has really enjoyed learning to follow along to the notes of the songs and he is becoming a very enthusiastic assistant on the drums.

There was a pause, and you wondered if you had said too much, or if he’d gone quiet again. But then your pad chimed. 

Grogu-parent: Something he can hit that makes noise? Sounds perfect for him.

You laughed. If someone had told you that morning that you’d actually talk to Grogu’s elusive dad and that he would make you laugh, you weren’t sure you’d have believed them.

Grogu-parent: Thank you for telling me. I know I miss a lot when I’m off planet.

Suddenly, you realized you hadn’t thought of it that way and wanted to kick yourself. Of course his dad would be sad to miss hearing about what Grogu did in school, and all the little ways he was growing and learning. Your heart squeezed in sympathy.

you: Would you like me to send you more updates? I would be happy to do it. I usually share them with parents at the end of the day. I’m sorry I didn’t think to send them to you this way instead.

Grogu-parent: That’s alright. I know I never replied to your message, I didn’t get it until days later. Yes, please send me updates. I might not be able to reply right away but I will be happy to get them.

You tilted your head as you read his message, wondering what sort of work he was doing. 

you: Oh that’s fine! I’ll start sending you updates, but no pressure to respond to them. I understand you must be busy. 

Grogu-parent: I’ll respond when I can. Thank you again. 

You smiled as you set your pad down and stood from your desk. Finally, you thought. You’d made contact with Grogu’s dad! You walked out of the schoolhouse with a spring in your step.

As you made your way to the market to pick up something for dinner, you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face. You were happy you’d moved to Nevarro, you realized – you liked the people and the growing feeling of community that you had been welcomed to join almost immediately. There were beings of all kinds in the little city, from all over the galaxy – you’d met a fellow newcomer just the day before, a friend of Cara’s from the resistance who was good with plants. You’d met Carm, a Bothan, who had a knack for fixing droids. You were pretty sure you’d even spotted a Mando, once or twice, and Diima’s mom had told you about the family that had just moved in next door to them and was planning to open a restaurant. 

It was a nice place to live. You were happy you’d decided to take the offer.

…

The next day, when Cara picked up Grogu, you let her know that you’d also invited his dad to the show. Grogu chirped and smiled at you, and you smiled back.

“That’s right, bud, your dad is coming!”

Cara grinned. “See? I told you he would, squirt.” Grogu made a noise like a cheer and waved his little arms and you both laughed. “See you tomorrow, teach!” Cara tossed Grogu lightly in the air as she turned and he squealed. 

You smiled, shaking your head at their antics as you made your way back to your desk. You knew just what you wanted to tell his dad.

you: Today Grogu kept working really hard on trying to write his name! The Aurebesh characters are still new and tricky for them, but he honestly does pretty well when we can draw them in the sand with his claws. He also shared his snack with his friend Oora, which was sweet.

You didn’t get an answer right away, and you tried not to be disappointed. It had been nice to talk to him the day before, but you knew he was busy with work, whatever work he did. You packed up your bag and hefted it onto your shoulder.

When your pad chimed, you dropped it unceremoniously back onto your chair.

Grogu-parent: Are you sure you’re talking about my kid? He’s not usually one to share food.

You laughed, but before you could reply your pad chimed again.

Grogu-parent: That’s great about his name. I know he knows so much, even though he seems so little.

You nodded as you typed your response. 

you: He does! I can tell. Sometimes he gets a little bit frustrated when he can’t communicate the way he wants. But the kids are all great with each other and they really listen to him, even without words.

Grogu-parent: I’m glad to hear it. I worried he would be too little for the class, even though technically he’s older than I am.

You laughed and tucked away that little tidbit of information.

you: I know he’s technically the oldest, but he’s also not the youngest, in terms of development. They’re a good group and they get along well.

Grogu-parent: He is an old baby, isn’t he? Thank you. Again.

You laughed and found yourself smiling again as you walked to the market. You wished you knew his name, but it felt awkward at this point to ask. You supposed he’d have to stay “Grogu-parent” in your pad. For now.

…

After that, you fell into a bit of a rhythm.

He wasn’t always able to reply immediately – sometimes you came in to work in the morning to find his response waiting for you, and you didn’t let yourself wait for more than a few minutes at the end of the day.

But he always replied. 

You found him easy to talk to, with a clear sense of humor and love for his son that you could feel through the messages. It infused every word he sent you, and it made you smile softly whenever you thought about it. You still felt bad that you hadn’t thought of this arrangement earlier. But you tried to make up for it with more details now.

…

you: Grogu led the other kids in a game today at recess. It seemed to be a mixture of tag and catch, and I’m not sure if he made it up, but they had fun. And I was proud of him for teaching them without words!

Grogu-parent: Sounds like the game he learned from a friend’s kid on Sorgan. I’ve seen him play it before, but I’ve never figured out the rules. I’m not convinced they don’t make them up each time they play it.

…

you: Grogu drew you a picture today! From what I could tell it’s your house, he was very proud of it.

Grogu-parent: I can’t wait to see it. He has a collection growing at home on the walls of his room.

…

you: Today we learned about hyperspace, and Grogu got really excited when I showed some footage of what it looks like to travel in hyperspace from the cockpit. He’s not the only kid who’s been in space, of course, and they all had a lot of fun sharing about their experiences. He drew us a picture of what I think is your ship, and the other kids loved it.

Grogu-parent: He does love hyperspace. I think it’s the colors. That kid loves to fly, even to go upside down. Never seen someone treat an evasive maneuver like a thrill ride like that.

you: Evasive maneuvers, huh? Sounds intense!

Grogu-parent: It’s been a while, but when he first came to me we had to run from some people who were looking for him. And me. Took us around the galaxy for a bit.

You remembered the school’s security measures that Karga and Cara had told you about and furrowed your brow.

you: Is everything ok now? Is he in any danger? Are you?

Grogu-parent: We took care of it. But that’s why we have the alerts in place at the school. Don’t worry, nothing will happen to you.

you: I’m not worried about me! But Grogu and the rest of the kids! I can’t believe anyone would want to hurt them.

You could believe it, though. You just didn’t want to.

you: I mean, I know the Galaxy can be like that. I just wish it wasn’t.

Grogu-parent: I know what you mean. I wish that, too.

You didn’t realize until later while you were eating dinner that he’d never answered your question about his own safety, and it made you worry. You didn’t even know what his job was, you realized, and felt the worry settle in your chest.

…

you: Grogu made you another picture but this time he refused to use any color except blue. I’m not sure what it is, but he was very insistent about it! Cara took it home for you.

Grogu-parent: I’m not surprised, he loves blue things. I can’t wait to see it.

…

you: Today Oora gave a demonstration of a traditional dance he learned from his family, and surprised us all – apparently Grogu had been helping him practice and knew the dance, too! It was very sweet of him to dance with Oora when he got nervous.

Grogu-parent: He does love music, and he really loves helping his friends. He feels everything so strongly.

Grogu-parent: I’ll tell him, too, but if you remember tomorrow, please tell him I’m proud of him.

…

For once, you had evening plans.

You hurried home at the end of the week to drop your bag and then to meet Cara and Diima’s moms at the cantina. When they’d invited you, you’d internally done a victory dance – you’d made friends!! – but externally, you’d kept your cool. Mostly.

Cara was the only one there when you arrived, and you settled in beside her in the booth.

“Teach!” She greeted you with a grin. “Whatcha drinkin’? How are the kids?”

You gave her your order and soon you had a drink, too. You filled her in on what your charges had been up to that week, getting a few laughs at their antics. “What about you, constable? Anything new?”

“Well, we were going to take care of a reptavian problem over towards the east end of the lava flats, but Mando had to go off planet again. We’ll wait for him to get back, could use his firepower.”

You tilted your head. You figured she was talking about the shiny Mando you’d seen around the market sometimes. “Who–”

But before you could ask, Neela and Aminet arrived, and by the end of the night you forgot you’d even had a question at all.

…

you: Grogu got excited when we learned about banthas and blurrgs today! We’re focusing on the letter Besh if you couldn’t tell. Then he drew a blurrg, it was honestly a pretty great likeness.

Grogu-parent: He’s met a few before, so he knows them pretty well.

you: Wow! When did Grogu meet a blurrg?

Grogu-parent: When I first met him, we had a friend who kept them. He’s even ridden one before. 

you: You know, his picture from today makes a lot more sense now. He drew a little Grogu on top of the blurrg.

Grogu-parent: He really likes blurrgs. They seem to like him too, which is good. Otherwise I’d be afraid they were going to eat him.

you: That IS good because they definitely would.

…

At some point, your messages with Grogu’s dad became less focused on Grogu. You still always made sure to send an update, of course, but you were starting to get to know him, too.

You were trying not to look too hard at how that was making you feel. 

You’ve never even seen this man. 

You were starting to realize that that might not matter to you. 

…

you: Today we went on a little field trip to the market and Grogu was very well behaved! 

Grogu-parent: Are you sure you’re talking about my kid? He didn’t try to eat every blue treat in sight?

you: Well, no, he did do that. But then we stopped and talked to the man who makes those blue cookies he likes – his name is Tam – and he showed Grogu how carefully he has to make each one. The way Grogu held the one Tam gave him made me think he was in awe. Anyway after that he was very well-behaved

Grogu-parent: He does love to learn new things. I bet he loved watching the cookies get made.

you: He really did! And me, too. I had no idea they were so finicky

Grogu-parent: Not a baker?

you: I can make bread ok, I guess. Tam’s got real skill.

Grogu-parent: I can only make a few dishes but I’m trying to learn more for Grogu.

you: I bet he loves that! Is it hard to cook on your ship?

Grogu-parent: I don’t really, no space for it. I mostly rely on rations or quick things until I’m home.

you: Ok that sounds not so great, so PLEASE promise me you’ll try the new restaurant when you get back. It’s really good and you’ll deserve it after all those rations!

Grogu-parent: I will.

You tamped down the part of yourself that wondered if you could bring some long-lasting food that Grogu could give to his dad for his next trip. That was probably too much for a person you’d never even met. Right?

…

you: The kids have been taking turns telling stories about their families, and Grogu told us one in pictures today. It seemed to involve a lot of snow and spiders? Ice spiders? Are those real?

Grogu-parent: Of course he picked that story.

Grogu-parent: Yes, it was when we were on the run, like I told you before. My ship was damaged and we had to do an emergency landing on an ice planet.

Grogu-parent: The local fauna did not appreciate Grogu’s approach to exploring the area and chased us back to the ship.

you: Holy kriff! We’re they actually as big as a house, or was that his creative license taking over the drawing?

Grogu-parent: Most of them were small. One of them wasn’t.

you: That sounds absolutely terrifying

you: I’m so glad you’re both ok!! How did you get away?

Grogu-parent: A couple of the New Republic guys from Adelphi had followed us and helped out. But we had to limp over to Trask to get the ship fixed.

you: You know, that is basically what Grogu drew for us, I think I just couldn’t believe it was all true.

you: Ok my mind is totally blown. Does this sort of thing happen to you a lot?

Grogu-parent: More than I would like, yes.

…

you: Grogu did really well with addition today! We’re learning about adding and subtracting with piles of tokens. He even helped his friend Kiran with a tricky one!

Grogu-parent: He’s so smart, I’m glad he’s getting to show it.

you: He really is! And he loves to learn.

Grogu-parent: I’m glad he’s so good at making friends. I was worried about him. I don’t set the best example.

you: What do you mean? You have so many friends

Grogu-parent: I can’t tell if you’re joking.

you: Not joking! There’s Cara, and Karga, and IG. 

Grogu-parent: 3? Is that a lot? I don’t think I’m very good at being friendly.

You hesitated, but it did feel right to call him a friend, at this point.

you: Well, you’ve also mentioned knowing people on at least two other planets. And you’re friendly with me! That is, if you don’t mind being friends with someone who sometimes forgets to switch out of “talking to kids” voice when talking to adults. And who is usually partially covered in arts and crafts.

Grogu-parent: I don’t mind. I’d like to be your friend.

You grinned and did not do a little victory dance. Definitely not. 

you: me too!

That one had made you float home.

…

you: Wait, you really calculate all your jumps yourself?

you: That’s so impressive! Does it take a long time? 

Grogu-parent: It did when I first started, but I’ve done it so many times it’s not so bad now.

you: Grogu must get his math skills from you.

Grogu-parent: So much happened in his life before I found him. Most of the time I feel like I’m learning things from him, and not the other way around. 

You felt a little squeeze around your heart at the thought of Grogu without this man, without his dad. You were glad they’d found each other.

you: That’s adorable, but you should know he shows us things that you taught him all the time.

Grogu-parent: Uh oh. Like what?

you: Today he showed us how to tie a cape around your neck so it will stay on. It made me wonder – do you wear a cape?

There was a pause that made you wonder if you shouldn’t have asked. Your message screen moved up as if a new message was about to come in, but then nothing did for another minute.

Grogu-parent: I do. Sometimes.

You laughed, a bit wonderingly. Who is this man?

…

you: Today some of the students shared stories or keepsakes from their homeworld or families – this isn’t a mandatory activity, since I know it can be complicated for some. Grogu drew us a picture of IG-11, I think. But he got really excited when Tamar mentioned that the twins have family on Tatooine, of all places.

Grogu-parent: He’s been there, so that was probably it. I guess I do have another friend there, too. Maybe two.

you: Ok, I’m starting to think you really undersold your ability to make friends

Grogu-parent: I wasn’t lying when I said I’m not good at being friendly.

you: You’re friendly with me! And how else did you get all these friends, then?

Grogu-parent: I ask myself that all the time. 

Grogu-parent: But it’s easy to be friendly with you.

You blinked and felt your face heat up, suddenly glad you were alone in your classroom. 

…

you: Today in rehearsal Grogu showed us that he memorized his part for the show! It was very cute, I’m sure he’ll do it at home for you.

Grogu-parent: Oh I’ve seen it. He’s been working hard on it.

you: Of course he has! I could tell

Grogu-parent: I’ll be on planet next week, maybe I could watch a rehearsal? If that’s alright. I don’t want to be in the way.

You grinned at your pad, but you also felt suddenly nervous. Were you ready to actually meet him? You didn’t even know his name.

you: Of course! No, you won’t be in the way, we have plenty of space. It will be so nice to finally meet you!

Grogu-parent: Ok, good. Yes, it will be.

…

On the day of the rehearsal you walked into the schoolhouse buzzing with nerves and excitement. 

You were going to meet him. Grogu’s dad, whose name you still didn’t know, somehow, but whose kind, funny, possibly-edging-towards-flirty messages were starting to take over your thoughts. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but you couldn’t help it.

You were going to meet him. 

You managed to tamp down your excitement as your class arrived and took up all of your attention, but it never quite left your mind. By the time rehearsal rolled around after lunch, the nerves were back.

With 10 minutes to go, you couldn’t stop yourself from glancing at the door what felt like every 5 seconds. Diima’s mom Aminet arrived, and then the twins’ parents. You knew Kiran’s mom was going to try to get away from the shipyard, too.

The door opened again, and you turned to see her slipping inside and smiled. When you looked past her, you were startled to see the Mandalorian you’d seen around town standing in the street, about 15 feet from the school and framed by the door to your classroom.

He was tall, with very shiny armor and very broad shoulders. He was also covered in a slightly intimidating amount of weaponry, though you knew he was Cara’s friend and so you weren’t actually that scared. For a moment you simply stared at him, and even though his face was covered, you had a feeling he was staring back.

Curious, you took a step towards the open doorway, but that seemed to shock him into action. He took a corresponding step back, looked around, and then turned and walked away.

You poked your head out of the door and watched as he turned a corner, heading towards the market.

Weird.

You heard the kids start to make more noise behind you and turned, realizing it was time to begin.

…

Grogu’s dad never did show, but you tried not to let it get you down. At least, not until after the kids had left.

When Cara came to pick up Grogu, she smiled ruefully and shrugged. “I know, he was supposed to come. Sent me a message asking me to swing by, something came up.”

You sighed and shrugged back. “That’s alright. I know he’s busy.”

Your pad stayed stubbornly silent, and you left it at the school to discourage yourself from obsessively checking it all night long.

What happened?

…

Yawning, you dropped into your desk chair the next morning with a sigh. You hadn’t slept well, too worked up over what had – and hadn’t – happened the day before.

But your heart leapt into your throat when you saw you had a message waiting.

Grogu-parent: I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it. I had to go off planet again, and it was pretty last minute. 

Grogu-parent: I already apologized to Grogu but I’m sorry we didn’t get to meet. I was looking forward to it.

From the timestamps you could see that he’d sent the messages while you were at home, trying to sleep. You bit your lip, wondering what to say back. It helped that he apologized but you still felt disappointed. 

you: That’s ok. I know you’re busy! I would have liked to meet. Maybe next time?

Grogu-parent: I shouldn’t be too busy for this. Next time, yes. 

you: Deal. I’m counting on you, friend

There was a long pause that made you bite your lip. Was that too much? You started to put the pad down, sighing.

But then another message appeared.

Grogu-parent: Since we’re friends, you should call me Din.

You froze. Din?

His name.

You started to grin.

you: I see you, trying to make me forget about missing you yesterday by telling me your name today!

As soon as you send the message you hesitate, wondering if that was too much. But he told me his name! This has to be flirting. We’re flirting. Right?

Grogu-parent: Missing me?

Kark. Of course he noticed that. Before you could even feel the heat reach your face he sent another message.

Grogu-parent: I really wanted to be there. 

you: I’m just teasing you, Din. Thank you for telling me

You grinned and changed his contact name.

Grogu-parent-Din: I missed meeting you, too

…

After Din told you his name, it seemed like your conversations just… flowed. You were opening up to each other in ways you hadn’t quite been able to before and it was making you feel giddy. 

On top of that, you were pretty sure he was flirting with you. At least, you hoped so. You couldn’t stop turning the question over in your mind. 

It’s not like you could ask anyone. You hadn’t told anyone you were having actual conversations with this man you’d never met – all Cara knew was that you sent him updates. 

These weren’t exactly updates.

you: Anyway, Grogu loved it. Painting with feet is always a popular activity but he was very enthusiastic

Grogu-parent-Din: That doesn’t surprise me at all. He loves making a mess.

You laughed.

Grogu-parent-Din: Is this one of those days when you’re covered in arts and crafts?

You blinked. He remembered that? And he was thinking about that? Was he thinking about what you looked like? You hesitated, and then typed your response.

you: Oh definitely. I’m wearing more paint than clothes at this point.

Kriffing hell. Why did I just say that? You stared down at your pad, incredulous. That had to be too much. You definitely shouldn’t be flirting with a parent like that. And you hadn’t even meant to flirt! You started to type again, to apologize, but he beat you to it.

Grogu-parent-Din: Sounds like quite a sight.

you: See, I warned you, being friends with me means being friends with someone who can’t stop kids from covering her in paint.

Grogu-parent-Din: Never said it would be a bad sight. 

You felt a tingle run up your spine. Did he–

Grogu-parent-Din: You’re not afraid of a mess. Neither am I. 

Grogu-parent-Din: You’re a good teacher. 

Kriff, you wished you knew what this man looked like. You said goodbye and stood up to leave, you should not be having thoughts like this in your classroom.

Not afraid of a mess, he’d said. 

Kriff.

…

Din kept flirting with you. It had to be flirting, you’d decided. (And you were definitely flirting.) But neither of you had addressed it directly. 

You spent your days with the kids, and about half an hour every afternoon flirting with Grogu’s dad. And then the rest of your evening thinking about it.

you: Grogu drew us a picture of a sort of humanoid-looking figure hanging off the side of a Jawa sandcrawler. It was pretty small in comparison with the sandcrawler, but was that you?

Grogu-parent-Din: Unfortunately, yes.

you: How did you end up hanging off the side of a sandcrawler??

Grogu-parent-Din: The Jawas took apart my ship, stole the parts. I was trying to get them back.

you: Well I assume you did, since you still have a ship

you: How did you get them back? Dare I ask?

Grogu-parent-Din: That’s a long one, but it involved me getting something they wanted from a mudhorn. 

you: A mudhorn?? An actual mudhorn

Grogu-parent-Din: I’ll tell you the whole story sometime. But yeah, I got the parts back. Got a whole new ship now, though, that one got blown up later.

You realized you were staring down at your pad, mouth dropped open, frozen. 

you: … Din. 

you: Blown up???

Grogu-parent-Din: You know, when I list it all out like this, it sounds kind of ridiculous.

you: Kind of?

you: Does this kind of thing still happen to you?

Grogu-parent-Din: I won’t lie, sometimes it does. But not nearly as often. 

Grogu-parent-Din: I promise, I’m careful. Much more these days.

you: You swear?

Grogu-parent-Din: I do.

you: Alright. 

As you set down your pad, you thought about what you knew about Din. He wore a cape, did evasive maneuvers in his ship, had friends on multiple planets, and sometimes hung off the side of sandcrawlers and fought mudhorns. Someday you’d find out what his job was, and this would all make more sense. 

You hoped.

…

At some point after he told you his name, you started taking your pad home.

It made sense, right? It would be rude to cut off the conversation because you had to go home, of all things.

And so like most nights, you found yourself sitting on your bed, smiling down at your pad, talking to Din for what you refused to recognize was over an hour at this point.

Grogu-parent-Din: You know, I didn’t realize how much calmer my life is now until I started telling you these stories.

you: I’m just glad your life IS calmer now! Din, sometimes you tell me things and I don’t know how you survived.

Grogu-parent-Din: Me too. That it’s calmer now, I mean. For Grogu, of course, but I get a lot more sleep these days.

you: I know you’re busy, but maybe you could stick around for a bit longer next time. Relax a bit? I think you need it

Grogu-parent-Din: I’m not very good at relaxing. 

you: Maybe you just need someone to show you how it’s done

You were flirting again. You bit your lip.

Grogu-parent-Din: You volunteering?

You grinned. He was flirting back.

you: I might be. What do you say?

Grogu-parent-Din: I say I’d like that. 

you: Yeah?

Grogu-parent-Din: Yeah, cyar’ika. Show me how to relax.

You let out a noise that you were glad no one was around to hear.

you: What’s that mean?

Grogu-parent-Din: I’ll tell you when we’re relaxing.

you: Promise?

Grogu-parent-Din: Promise.

…

With only a couple of weeks to go before the show, you were starting to feel the pressure, both for the kids and because you were finally going to meet Din.

He would have to come to the show, right? He said he would. You were pretty sure your distraction was noticeable – Cara had almost called you out on it multiple times. She’d taken to squinting at you and smirking knowingly when she caught you checking your pad. 

A few nights after the promise to let you show him how to relax – which you couldn’t let yourself dwell on, not if you wanted to get anything done – he told you about his ship getting blown up.

Grogu-parent-Din: I’ve got a new one, of course, but I do miss that ship.

you: Of course you do! How long did you have it?

Grogu-parent-Din: Almost 15 years.

Your jaw dropped. He’d lost his home of 15 years?

you: Din, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.

There was a long pause that made you worry you’d somehow overstepped. You started to type, to backtrack, when his response appeared.

Grogu-parent-Din: Thank you. 

Grogu-parent-Din: I think people expected me to just get a new ship, but for a while I didn’t want to.

you: Of course not!

you: ugh, who said that? Let me talk to them

Grogu-parent-Din: It’s ok, cyar’ika. No need. 

Grogu-parent-Din: Of course you can make me smile when I’m thinking about this.

You sucked in a sharp breath and tucked yourself into a ball around your pad on your bed. He smiled. 

you: I made you smile?

Grogu-parent-Din: You always make me smile.

Your own smile felt so big it was taking over your face.

you: You make me smile too, you know. Even when we’re not talking, you make me smile

Grogu-parent-Din: Yeah? How do I manage that?

you: I may or may not think about you, you know… sometimes.

Grogu-parent-Din: I think about you all the time.

You felt your entire body get hot and tingly and gasped.

you: Din!

Grogu-parent-Din: I do. Lately you’re all I want to think about.

you: Din. Are you flirting with me?

Grogu-parent-Din: I’ve been flirting with you, cyar’ika. Nice of you to finally notice.

You wanted to hide your face, even though you were the only person in your apartment. You settled for kicking your feet like a weirdo.

you: I hoped you were. I’ve been flirting too, you know

Grogu-parent-Din: Oh I know.

you: Din!

Grogu-parent-Din: I’m sorry I couldn’t come see you last time. I wish I had.

you: Well, the show is next week! so soon! We can actually meet

you: It’s not your fault you had to work.

There was another long pause, and you furrowed your brow, but it couldn’t quite wipe the smile off your face.

Grogu-parent-Din: So I might have lied about that.

you: About what?

You frowned down at the pad.

Grogu-parent-Din: I didn’t have to go off planet suddenly.

you: What?? Din what are you talking about

You didn’t like the swooping sensation in your stomach. So then why had he left?

Grogu-parent-Din: I did come by the school that day, but I couldn’t go in.

you: Why not??

Grogu-parent-Din: I saw you, and I know, I’m sorry. I know it’s not fair that I’ve seen you. But I saw you, and you were smiling at someone, and you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, cyar’ika. 

Your mouth dropped open. What?

Grogu-parent-Din: I froze. I got tongue-tied, I guess. All of a sudden I just knew, but I wasn’t prepared. And then I ran like a coward. I’m sorry.

You handled your pad in shaking hands, making a few more typos than you usually did.

you: Din, are you tellign me that you thought I was so beautiful you ran awaY?

Grogu-parent-Din: Basically, yes. I know, I know, Cara already read me the riot act. I’m sorry. I promise I won’t run next week.

you: You better not!! I can’t believe you’ve seen me and I’ve never seen you.

He ran away because you were too beautiful? What the kark? This sort of thing did not happen to you.

Grogu-parent-Din: I promise I will be there next week and I won’t run away.

you: Good.

you: No one’s ever thought I was so beautiful they RAN before, you know

Grogu-parent-Din: That you know of.

you: You know, that’s a good point

…

By the day of the show, you were a wreck.

You and Din talked every night, and it was wonderful, but it felt like a build up to something that was going to change your life. You didn’t want to put that much pressure on a simple meeting, but you couldn’t stop yourself.

You liked him so, so much.

And on top of that, the kids were excited and nervous and bouncing off the walls. Literally, in some cases. You wanted things to go well for them, and you wanted things to go well for you.

It was a lot.

Grogu-parent-Din: Can I come by early? Or should I wait until after?

you: PLEASE come early. I can’t wait through the whole show to meet you, I’ll be too nervous! The kids are going home for a couple of hours after school, and then they have to be back for the show

Grogu-parent-Din: Cara is taking Grogu with Oora for a final practice together and I said I’d meet her there. So I can come as early as you’d like. You tell me when to be there and I will.

Your hands were shaking again.

you: How about half an hour before the kids are due back? Gives me time to have emotions but not to get TOO distracted.

Grogu-parent-Din: Am I going to give you emotions, cyar’ika?

you: You know you are, Din.

…

Somehow, the kids had been gone for an hour and you’d managed to finish setting everything up in the small auditorium. The little stage was ready and the decorations were perfect.

And now all you had to do was wait for Din.

It was nerve-wracking. You were doing your best not to watch the clock, but with fifteen minutes to go before he was supposed to arrive, you found yourself pacing around your classroom, talking to yourself.

You were debating running to the corner and back just to work out some energy when someone cleared their throat behind you.

You whirled, heart in your throat, and were surprised to find the Mandalorian you’d seen around town standing in the doorway of your classroom.

“Oh! Hello, Mando.” You took a deep breath and resisted the urge to twist your hands together. “Can I help you with something?”

He didn’t answer right away. He looked around the room, and you took a moment to study him. His armor was very shiny, and it fit him very well. He was a very broad man, you realized. And he had fewer weapons on him than the last time you saw him, though of course he still had some.

He took a step inside and his cape swayed behind him.

“You know,” he said, and his voice was deep and warm. You thought he might be smiling, but wondered how you could tell. “I know it’s not realistic, but I really did picture you more covered in paint.”

You froze and felt a tingling sensation flow from your feet to your head, making you suddenly lightheaded. It can’t be. 

“...Din?” you breathed, stunned. Your eyes traveled over the length of him again, and then suddenly caught on the cape. 

He stepped forward again and then he was right in front of you. You couldn’t stop gaping at him. 

“Hi, cyar’ika,” he said, voice deep. He reached out and lightly brushed his fingers against yours. 

Your body finally kicked back into gear at his touch and you shoved him lightly in his armored chest. “Din!” You put both of your palms on his chest and marveled at the fact that he was here, in front of you, solidly physical and real. “You’re here!”

He chuckled, and you marveled again at being able to hear him. “I promised I would be.”

You felt yourself start to smile and noticed his helmet dipped. “I can’t believe you’re here.” You ran your hands down his chest and then froze. “Oh, I’m sorry, I just started touching you, I didn’t even ask–” You started to pull your hands away but he caught them and placed your hands back on his chest.

“You can touch me,” he murmured.

“Yeah?” you asked, grinning.

He nodded. 

“I may have thought about it… a lot,” you confessed, stepping even closer. 

His hands released yours and came to rest on your hips. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

For a moment you just grinned at him, a bit stunned. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come in last time,” he said, and he did sound sorry. “I wanted to, I just…”

Now that you had him in front of you, real and solid and a man, it felt suddenly easier to tease him. “But you were overwhelmed by my beauty, huh?”

You gasped when he tugged you closer and squeezed your hips. “I was,” he agreed. “You are so kriffing beautiful, cyar’ika.”

You felt yourself begin to melt, but then remembered. “Wait,” you said, looking up at his visor. “You promised – what does that mean?”

He leaned down and nudged your forehead gently with his helmet.

“Sweetheart.”

…

The kids’ show went off without a hitch. Grogu was overjoyed to have his dad in the audience and played the drums with more enthusiasm than you had ever seen him have in practice. All of the kids did well, and their parents kept telling you how impressed they were as they headed home.

As soon as the area around you cleared, after the show, Din appeared with Grogu in his arms.

“Grogu, you did so well!” You reached your fist out to bump his little one and he cheered. “I’m so proud of you and I know your dad is, too.” You looked up at Din, who nodded. 

“I am,” he agreed, “I told him.” He looked down at Grogu. “Right, bud?” Grogu made a little noise that definitely sounded like agreement.

“Are you heading out?” You asked, smiling at Cara when she came to join your group. 

Din nodded. “Taking this one home. But, I wanted to ask – are you free tomorrow?”

You grinned. “I am.”

He took a step closer and Grogu made a little bah noise. “I’ll message you. But you have plans.”

You could feel Cara smirking at the two of you but you couldn’t look away from Din. “I do?”

Din leaned a little bit closer. “You do now.”

You said goodnight, but the warmth from finally meeting Din and knowing you had plans later carried you home. 

Grogu-parent-Din: Meet me at the market after lunch?

you: Yes! What are our plans?

Smiling, you made an update to his contact.

Din: I’m ready to learn how to relax.

…

You stood by the large tree at the edge of the market, nervous but excited. You’d spent too much time picking out your clothes and now that you were there, you couldn’t stop remembering how it had felt to finally touch him.

“You look beautiful,” a warm voice said from behind you, and you spun around.

“Din!” You grinned. He was very shiny in the midday sun. 

He stepped closer and one of his hands came up to cup your upper arm. His gloved thumb moved back and forth across your skin in a light caress. “Hi, cyar’ika.”

You felt your face heat at the endearment, now that you knew what it meant.

“I’m ready to relax,” he said, voice teasing. 

You laughed and leaned a bit closer. He was right there, in front of you, and you felt like you were floating. “Alright. I say we walk through the market and stock up on some snacks, and then we’ll try out some aimless relaxation. Preferably on a couch or other soft surface. And maybe we’ll listen to some music.”

Din nodded along to your instructions, turning to follow as you walked towards the market. He slid his hand down your arm and slipped it into yours. “Does your place have a couch?”

You looked at him. “Din, would you like to come back to my place? Do you have time?”

He leaned forward and nudged his helmet against your forehead again. “Cara’s got Grogu. I’m all yours. And yes, I do want to.”

“Great,” you said, smiling, and started to point out your favorite stalls. You collected some fruit and cookies from Tam and some other snacks as you walked. 

Din took each item and stored them in a bag as you collected them. “Are these the cookies Grogu learned how to make?” 

You nodded. “And he still loves them.” 

Din laughed. “Of course he does.”

Once you had a nice assortment, you turned in the direction of your apartment. As you walked, you marveled at how easy, how right it felt, to spend time together in person. 

“Is it nice, being back on planet?” you asked. 

He nodded once. “Food’s much better,” he said, and you smiled. “So’s the company.”

You turned onto the small street with the door to your apartment. “Flatterer.”

As you stepped up to your door to unlock it, Din stepped up close behind you. So close you could feel the heat of his body. “It’s the truth, cyar’ika.”

You felt a shiver travel up your back as you finally unlocked the door, followed by the tips of his fingers as they followed the shiver. “Well, here it is.” You waved your arm at your apartment and stood to the side to welcome Din inside.

He looked around, and suddenly you felt nervous. Before you could get too worked up, though, he said, “I like it. It’s very warm, like you.”

You blinked. “What do you mean?”

Din stepped closer and nudged your forehead with his helmet again. “You’re easy to talk to, and so warm in all of our conversations. It feels like that.”

You leaned closer. “Does this mean something?” You nudged his helmet.

He hummed. “It’s a Keldabe kiss. It’s how we kiss without removing our helmets.”

“Din!” You exclaimed, leaning back to look at him. “You kissed me when we met yesterday?”

“Couldn’t help it.” He leaned in to do it again and you grinned. “I’ve been wanting to for weeks.”

You reached down and took his hand, tugging him towards the living area. “Come on. We have some relaxing to do.”

To your surprise, rather than joining you on the couch, he started stripping off his armor and placing the pieces carefully on your dining table. He must have noticed your surprise because he explained, “Relaxing, right? This will be more comfortable.”

You watched carefully, taking note of each piece. When he was finished he was just wearing his flight suit and helmet. You couldn’t help but ask, “not the helmet?” 

Din seemed to tense for a moment, but then he relaxed. “No. I… my creed. I can’t take it off in front of other living things.”

You tilted your head, considering this information. “Not even Grogu?”

He shook his head. “Grogu is clan, he’s my son. Our clan can see our faces.”

That made sense. “Alright. Want to sit?”

You gestured at the seat next to you and smiled as he sat. 

“You don’t…” he trailed off and turned in his seat to look at you head on. “You don’t have more questions?”

You turned sideways and leaned against the back of your couch, propping your chin on your hand. Your knee brushed against his leg. “No, not right now. I mean, I want to know more, but mostly I figure you’ll tell me when you’re ready, right? If it’s stuff I can know.” You reached over and slipped your hand into his and squeezed. “I don’t want to push you, and I like the way we’ve been talking.”

He leaned forward and squeezed your hand. “I like it too.” His voice was suddenly much deeper. “Thank you.”

You smiled. “Are you thanking me for being patient?”

Din nodded. “I am. So what’s the next step in our day of relaxation?”

You gestured at your sound system. “Let me put on something soothing.” You grabbed your data pad from the coffee table and set it up. “There.”

Soft music started to play and you eased back into your seat. 

“Do we just sit here?” Din asked, sounding a little baffled. 

It made you smile. “Yes, but we can talk. Or you can always lie down, that’s much more relaxing.” You grabbed a pillow and placed it against your thigh. “Want to try it?”

“Here?” He pointed at the couch and you nodded. He hesitated and then took off his boots. He slowly leaned down until he was lying back against the pillow. As soon as his back was flat he groaned. “Ok, maybe I needed this.”

“Maybe you need a back rub,” you replied. 

Din laughed. “Probably. I don’t know if I’ve ever had one. You offering?”

“Never?” You shook your head, incredulous. “Ask me again later. We’re relaxing right now.” You fell into an easy conversation about your week and you finally found out more about his job. As you talked, you leaned further into the couch and started idly tracing shapes along his chest with your fingertips without even realizing you were doing it. 

“A bounty hunter makes so much more sense than what I was thinking,” you remarked as he finished telling you about his last job. “All of your ridiculous stories make sense now.”

Din laughed again and you realized you wanted to hear that sound more. Every day, if you could.

“That’s good. I realized in retrospect how it all sounds when I was talking to you.” He reached up and laced his fingers through yours, stilling your hand against his chest. “It doesn’t scare you?”

You looked down at his visor and smiled. “I was already worrying about you, but I know you’re capable. I could tell from your stories. If anything, it’s reassuring — you must be good at it, to be doing it this long.” You sighed. “But I probably will still worry, yes.”

Din hummed and you felt certain he was looking at you, too, even though you couldn’t tell through the dark glass. “Cara offered me more work around here. I think I’ll take her up on it. I’ll still go off planet sometimes, but not as much.”

“Well,” you said, smiling, “I won’t pretend I don’t like the sound of that. But you don’t have to do that just because we’re, um…” you trailed off as you realized you didn’t exactly know what you were. 

“Relaxing together?” He teased, and you laughed. “It would be better for Grogu, that’s important. But I do want to be here more so I can see you more. Not only send messages.” He squeezed your hand. “I like you.”

You felt something warm settle inside you at his words and you were certain it showed on your face. “I like you too, Din.”

You told him more stories about the kids’ antics during the week, but you realized as you finished a story about Kiran trying to adopt a lizard from the lava flats as the class pet — and Grogu wanting to eat it, instead — that Din had fallen asleep. 

You smiled and curled your body more around his helmet and the pillow in your lap. The fact that he felt comfortable enough to fall asleep with you filled you with warmth. You took the opportunity to study this man who had somehow swept you off your feet through pad messages. Even without seeing his face, you could tell he was attractive – his body was toned and strong, but not thin. You could tell he was used to very physical work. You traced his shoulders and arms and chest with your eyes and bit your lip – he was much more exposed like this, without armor. You could see the outline of his body and it made you press your thighs together under the pillow. 

Get it together, you told yourself sternly. We are relaxing, not ogling. 

He stirred, suddenly, and you couldn’t help but soothe him. “Shhh, go back to sleep,” you murmured. “Relax.” He seemed to settle again at the sound of your voice, so you kept talking. “I’m really glad you feel comfortable here, Din. With me.” You hummed along to the music softly for a moment. “You really are very handsome. I can tell. And kriff, these shoulders. And your hands.” You laughed softly at yourself. “I already liked you, you know? Without seeing you. But now…” you trailed off, suddenly embarrassed by what you were admitting even though he was asleep.

At least, you thought he was asleep.

He startled you by responding, suddenly, and tightened his hold on your hand on his chest to keep you from pulling away. “Now?” he asked, voice scratchy and deep. “Now what, cyar’ika?”

You felt your face heat up. “How much of that did you hear?”

Din hummed and settled more into the couch. “Something about my shoulders.”

“Kriff,” you said, laughing. “That’s so embarrassing.”

He shook his head. “No, I liked it.” He squeezed your hand. “What were you going to say? But now…” he prompted you, and you could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Now I like you and I can’t stop looking at you, I guess.”

He looked at you for a moment, helmet tilted back. Then he started to sit up. You made a noise in complaint but he settled in much closer to you than before with his arm over the back of the couch. You were touching from shoulder to knee. Your breath caught. 

“Is that really what you were going to say, mesh’la?” He leaned in towards you and pressed his helmet to your forehead again. 

You shivered. “Din—“ you started, not sure what you were going to say. 

“Tell me,” he urged you softly. He dropped his arm over your shoulders and suddenly you were totally wrapped up in his warmth. 

“I already liked you,” you repeated, leaning into his embrace. “And I already wanted you. Before I’d even seen you.” You stumbled over your words but felt a surge of confidence when you felt him draw in a sharp breath. “And now I can’t stop looking at you. Because you already had me with your flirting.” You reached out and placed your hand on his thigh and squeezed, and you couldn’t take it anymore. “But Din, I am so turned on. I know we just met, officially, but—“

“Cyar’ika,” he murmured, wrapping his free arm around your waist. “I’ve been hard since you told me to lie down in your lap.”

Your gaze shot down to his pants, but you couldn’t see any proof. 

“These pants don’t show it. But believe me,” he lifted your hand from his thigh and placed it over his hard length. Your eyes widened. “I want you. Badly.”

“Din,” you breathed. You looked back up at him and squeezed his cock, and watched a shiver travel across his shoulders. 

“How dark is your bedroom?” He asked suddenly. 

“Very,” you said, a bit confused. “I have those curtains that block out the light, helps me sleep.”

“Perfect,” he replied, and tugged you up off the couch. “Come here, mesh’la.” He grabbed something from the pile of his things on the coffee table and led you towards your bedroom after you pointed it out.

Once inside, he moved towards the windows and closed the curtains. The room immediately darkened. He stood with his hands on his hips, looking around the room, and nodded.

“Good,” he said, and you stepped closer.

“Good for what?” 

Din held up his hand and you realized he was holding a length of black cloth. “It’s dark enough in here. But just to be sure… if you, would you wear this?” 

Suddenly you realized the reason why he was doing all of this and your entire body lit up in response. “Your helmet?” you asked, eyes wide.

He nodded. “Will you?” He held what you recognized as a blindfold towards you, and you nodded before he’d even finished speaking.

“Of course,” you said, stepping closer. “Din, I promise, I won’t look. But yes, I’ll wear it.”

You saw some of the tension fade from his shoulders and smiled. He took you gently by the shoulders and turned you around. “Thank you,” he murmured as he lifted the blindfold into place. He tied it tightly, but not too tight. “How’s that?” You felt air on your face and wondered if he was waving his hand in front of your eyes.

“I can’t see anything,” you confirmed. You reached back, trying to find him, and he caught your hand. “I promise.”

He turned you back around slowly and suddenly you were pressed up against his chest with his hand on your back. “I believe you. I trust you.”

You thought of the way he had fallen asleep so easily in your presence and smiled. “What now, Din?”

You heard a hissing noise and then a large thump and realized he must have removed his helmet. The sound of his voice confirmed it. “Now, cyar’ika,” he said, and you shivered when you felt his breath on your face, “I’m going to kiss you.”

You opened your mouth to respond, yes, and maybe please, but you never got the words out. His lips met yours and every other thought flew out of your head. You could tell he was somewhat new to this – that wasn’t surprising, considering what he’d told you about his helmet – but he learned quickly and you barely noticed any awkwardness. You lost yourself in his kiss, in his arms, in the darkness of your blindfold. 

When his tongue traced along your bottom lip, you moaned, and his answering moan made you feel lightheaded. He broke away suddenly to press kisses down your neck and you sighed. “Din,” you said, and realized your hands were tangled in his hair. His hair. “That feels so good.”

“Does it?” He murmured, and you could hear his smirk. “Tell me, cyar’ika.”

You pushed yourself closer until you were pressed fully against him. “Yes, Din. Can we– can you–” you weren’t sure what you were asking, and he interrupted you with a nibble at your neck.

“We can do whatever you want,” he promised, voice low. “What do you want, mesh’la?”

That word, the new one, finally snagged at your attention. “What’s that mean?”

He lifted his head and pressed his smile to your cheek. It made you smile back. “That’s what you want? To know that?”

You nodded. “Please. And then I want you to make me come.”

Din growled and tugged you in the direction you were pretty sure led to your bed. “Beautiful,” he said, voice intent. “It means beautiful. Because you are.” He tugged you downwards and you realized he was sitting on the bed. You settled into position straddling his lap and ground your hips down. His answering moan was very gratifying. “Let me make you feel good.”

He had one arm around your back, and you felt his other hand trail along the waistband of your pants. You tilted your hips forward to encourage him. He undid them deftly and you sighed when his large fingers slid inside your underwear.

He teased you, and you knew he could feel how wet you were without even pressing inside.

“Did I turn you on, cyar’ika?” He pressed his lips to your ear and you shivered at how deep his voice was. “Is this for me?”

“Yes, Din,” you said, and before you could say anything else his fingers parted your folds and slipped inside. 

“So wet,” he said, voice awed. “And all for me, hmm?” His fingers found your clit and circled it and you gasped. He swallowed it with a kiss. 

You broke away on a gasp when he replaced his fingers with his thumb and trailed through your wetness to circle your entrance with his fingertips. “Din,” you said, pleading.

“Is this what you want, mesh’la?” You nodded and he nipped at your neck below your ear. “I thought about this,” he said, lips brushing against your ear as he slid his fingers inside you. “Thought about this when you talked to me, when I pictured you covered in more paint than clothes.” He curled his fingers forward and you moaned. “Thought about this when you made me smile, when you said you think about me.”

“I do, Din,” you said, voice unsteady. You wrapped your arms around his neck and ground down on his fingers. “I thought about this, too.”

“Yeah?” he asked, and you nodded against his neck. “My fingers?”

“Yes,” you said, building up a rhythm with your hips. “And your cock. And your tongue.”

Din let out a noise you could only classify as a whine and it sent sparks shooting up your spine. “You want that? My mouth on you?” You nodded, almost frantically, and he shuddered. “I want that too. You have no idea how much.”

You could feel it building inside of you and you buried your face in his shoulder. You marveled at feeling so much of his skin as you did. 

“I think you’re close, cyar’ika,” he murmured between kisses on your neck. “You’re squeezing me.” His thumb started to move faster and you knew you were about to fall over the edge. “Come for me, beautiful. I want to feel it.”

You did, with his fingers thrusting in and out of you and his arm holding you tight in his lap. You cried out his name as you fell and shuddered at the sparks flying through your body. The pleasure washed over you like a wave, head to toe.

When you came back to yourself, you were on your back on the mattress with Din’s body pressing you down. 

“You with me?” he asked, and you nodded. “Good. Cyar’ika, I want to fuck you.”

Your head swam at his words, and you nodded again.

“Let me hear your voice,” he murmured, and kissed you. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to fuck me, Din,” you said, and felt it when he smiled into a kiss. “I’ve wanted it, badly.”

“Me too,” he promised, and lifted off of you to remove his flight suit. When he pressed back down and you felt his skin on yours your eyes rolled back in your head.

“Dank farrik,” he said through gritted teeth. “You’re so soft.” He rubbed his body against yours and you gasped at the sensations he sent through you. His hard cock was trapped between your stomachs and you lifted your hips, wrapping your legs around him, trying to change the angle. 

Din tilted his hips and suddenly his cock was nestled against you, and you gasped. “You feel so kriffing good,” he moaned, and you nodded.

“You too, Din,” you cut off on a gasp when the head of his cock nudged your clit. “Please fuck me.” 

Din huffed a laugh, and murmured, “so polite.”

You smacked him lightly on his very shapely ass, and then paused to fondle it. He laughed again and you grinned into his neck. “Is there something wrong with polite?”

Din nudged at your cheek until you turned into a searing kiss. “No,” he finally replied, lifting his hips and reaching down to move his cock right where you wanted it. “Just makes me want to give you what you want. Even more.” The head of his cock pressed against your entrance and you sighed. “I’ve thought about this so many times, almost since the beginning.” He started pushing inside and you tangled your fingers in his hair. You were panting. He was big. “And then I saw you, and you were flirting with me, and I couldn’t,” he pulled out slightly and thrust forward again, “stop,” he did it again, farther in this time, “thinking about it.” He pushed steadily forward until his hips met yours and you both moaned.

“Me neither,” you said, turning your head and nipping at his ear. He moaned again. “So much, Din.” He shuddered as he pulled out and thrust forward again, and you lifted your hips to meet him.

He found a steady rhythm that sent sparks up and down your spine, building you up and sending you closer and closer to the edge. Your mind was spinning with pleasure and a bit of awe that you were finally there, that Din was inside you, like you’d been hoping for. Like you’d been craving.

Din leaned his weight onto his left arm and snaked his right hand between your bodies until he found your clit. When he circled it with his finger you almost sobbed.

“I want to feel you come again, mesh’la.” Din’s voice was rough with his own pleasure and it made yours shoot higher. “Squeeze me tight. Dank farrik.” His chest heaved when you did as he asked and squeezed. “Let me feel it. Come for me.”

He thrust forward again and circled your clit just right and you fell off the edge again, but this time it felt like you were flying. You spiraled upwards on the wave of pleasure and when it crashed down again it flowed over your entire body, leaving tingles in its wake.

You squeezed his cock and he moaned into your ear. “You feel so good when you come, kriff, your pussy feels so good.” His hips thrust forward again, losing their rhythm, and you knew he was close. You tugged at his hair until your mouth hovered over his.

“Din,” you said, and kissed him. “Come inside me.”

He moaned and he did, thrusting twice more before stilling and moaning your name. When he collapsed on top of you you wrapped your arms and legs around him and sighed.

“Kark,” he murmured, pressing soft kisses along your neck and throat. “That was so good.”

You laughed, and gasped when he laughed too and you felt it against your chest. “It was, wasn’t it?”

He nodded. “You know, I like this relaxation thing.” You laughed and squeezed him. He grunted. “I have another confession.”

“Uh oh,” you teased. “Is this the last one?”

Din pushed himself up until he was leaning on his left arm again and kissed you softly. “I promise. After this it’s just getting to know each other more.” He kissed you again. “But I need to tell you. I didn’t just run because you’re beautiful.” another kiss. “Even though you are and that was part of it.” A longer kiss this time followed by a nip to your bottom lip. You smiled. “But I also saw you, and all of these feelings I’d been putting off and denying came rushing up and I couldn’t deny them anymore. I think I was afraid, since we’d never met, never seen each other.”

You nodded. You knew that feeling.

“It was all real, suddenly, and I wasn’t ready for that.” He nudged at your nose with his and hummed.

You kissed him. “But you’re ready now?”

“I am,” he said, voice firm and warm. “I want you. I want this. I want to figure it out.”

You grinned. “Me too, Din.”

“Good.”

…

a/n: I hope you enjoyed this fluff. lol

[makingspiritualityreal]

Qualities of the Nakshatras - How do you do what you do?

While the traditional Vedic classification of the qualities of the Nakshatras can be found in many common sources, few of them describe in detail, how that classification is applied in real life. I myself struggled and took my time pondering, analysing and discussing these qualities and their practical application, in order to be able to understand and then explain the reality of those particular Nakshatra traits.

For those who never heard of Nakshatra qualities, these are described as Chara, Sthira, Mrdu, Ugra, Tikshna, Kshipra and Mishra.

It is important to realise, that these descriptions show not just what activities will a given Nakshatra undertake, but how it operates, and if you look at your Moon Nakshatra, you will see that its quality will reflect your basic nature of being. However, that doesn't mean that all Nakshatras from the same group have the same jobs/interests/always do the same thing. It's more about how people "take up space" energetically, the style in which they bring about change.

Chara Nakshatra - "Moveable" - Shravana, Dhanishta, Shatabhisha, Punarvasu and Swati.

The word I would associate with those Nakshatras, more than simply moveable, is "dynamic". You can see it best perhaps in Dhanishta, that is notorious for its amazing natural sense of rhythm and association with dancing and being in the public eye. However, even Shatabhisha, that moves in the shadows, has a certain rhythm to it, coupled with restlessness. The energy here is breezy and flowing, and you can see it in those natives, even if they just sit and talk, that they are decidedly and constantly animated.

Sthira Nakshatra - "Fixed" - Rohini, Uttaraphalguni, Uttarashadha and Uttarabhadrapada.

The energy here is of a person in position of authority sitting on a throne and establishing something durable. I associate this Nakshatra group with authority, because there is something passively steady and indomitable about them. Their authority is a given, they are in their place and they don't feel the need to go out of their way to prove it, instead they build upon who they are. This is why this Nakshatra group in traditional Vedic sources is associated with making firm, long term decisions, as these people lay foundations for things that all the other Nakshatras build upon. Their position of authority comes from the fact, that decision making and authority often goes hand in hand. While the moveable Nakshatras make waves in motion, fixed Nakshatras can change the fate of the entire collective from their steady position with one decision.

Mrdu Nakshatra - "Tender" - Chitra, Anuradha, Mrigashira and Revati.

These Nakshatras relate to feelings and creations that are fleeting yet eternal at the same time. There is a certain contradiction here, as these natives may appear outwardly defensive, but that defensiveness is born out of necessity in a harsh world and hides deep sensitivity, and if you talk to them more, you will see their softer side, their attachment to beauty and harmony, and their fear of losing that serenity. Traditional Vedic sources point out their connection to subtlety of music, delicate, precious newly purchased things or clothing. More than the objects themselves, it's about the thrill of happiness such experiences give you. And even if they last not more than a moment, the reality of these Nakshatras is their sensitivity of creation and perception, their ability to see, that beauty and intricate delicacy can be found anywhere, and while you can never fundamentally shield it from all harm, it will always pop up in the world somewhere else, just like a flower, even if picked, will regrow next spring.

Ugra Nakshatra - "Violent" - Bharani, Magha, Purvaphalguni, Purvashadha, and Purvabhadrapada. 

The main theme of these Nakshatras is conquest, and while of course not all of these natives are interested in traditional warfare, these are the kind of people that occupy 100% of any space they are in and like to set the rules with their presence. Their naturally fierce presence can make them incredibly successful with the demands of the modern world, but even a housewife with Ugra Nakshatra is a force to be reckoned with. The conquest here can have multiple meanings, and gains a decidedly creative, romantic and sexual nature in Venusian Purva Phalguni and Purva Ashadha, to conquer one's object of desire. However, the energy here is really about internally conquering one's own weaknesses and wrestling with the animalistic, expansive desirous aspect of human nature.

Tikshna Nakshatra - "Sharp" - Moola, Jyeshta, Ardra and Ashlesha.

The real task of these Nakshatras is putting other people back in their place. While the fixed Nakshatras have a natural, calm authority coming from status, and violent Nakshatras can be intimidating, sharp Nakshatras automatically gain respect with their presence, because they are so ready to regulate people who are out of line. Their "sharpness" is required for that energy to be effective against others, especially since some Nakshatras like Ugra will not back down easily. However, unlike Ugra, these Nakshatras correct and regulate rather than express desire for outwards conquest, relying more on handling things, that are already out there, making these natives excellent in managerial positions. You can think of it in the context of Ardra being a passionate activist and critic of established social systems.

Kshipra Nakshatra - "Swift" -  Ashwini, Pushya and Hasta.

These Nakshatras operate in short but intense bursts of energy. Hasta is a good example, as it embodies the traditional business transaction - money and goods exchange hands, the deed is done, the seller moves on to the next one. Same with Pushya and spiritual teaching, delivering quick but valuable lessons and moving on to another student/activity/rest. The focus here is on efficiency and maximising good energy through limited and realistic potential.

Mishra Nakshatra - "Mixed" - Krittika and Vishakha.

An interesting aspect of these Nakshatras comes from how Vedic astrologers link them both to laying out furniture, electronics and fire rituals. You would think these two activities have nothing in common, but they are actually the key to the ceremonial nature of these Nakshatras. In modern households, few houses have a fireplace, but fire pits in the middle of the main living space used to be traditional in old houses, to keep them warm and for religious purposes. In the 21st century, a grand television set is god, and coupled with a comfortable couch it is what sets the scene in a home. And this is what these Nakshatras do, energetically, set the scene both for worship and to be worshipped, establishing a relationship between the viewer and the viewed. For that reason, there is a sense of fiery dramatism in these Nakshatras, ready to both worship and be worshipped at any given time.

[thesquidgame]

Predictable

Hwang In-ho x wife!reader

Part One Part Two

Summary: Your peaceful married life is disrupted by strange symptoms.

Warnings: ANGST, money issues, hospitals, disease outbreak (MERS), disease symptoms (not MERS), poor working conditions, bad coworker, (implied) understaffed hospitals, panic, health problems, medical condition, neurological symptoms, blood, graphic depictions of medical emergency, vomiting blood, stepping on glass, extended TWs: here

Word Count: 2k~

Your apartment was dingy and small. It was on the outskirts of Seoul, and your had to take three buses to get to work. But it was alright. Your house was clean, and In-ho came home every day before you and made dinner. Your schedule was a bit more unpredictable. As an ER nurse, you tried whatever you could to get home on time, but mostly, you ended up at work until midnight. 

It was a hectic job, but you were used to it. Unlike some of your colleagues, nothing extreme had happened to you in years, the first and only time being when you were accidentally stabbed with a needle. Still, it was stressful, but In-ho made all of that anxiety go away the second you saw him.

Whenever you came home, your husband would smile, kiss you, and present the delicious dinner he had made you. You would then sit at the dinner table and talk about your days, sometimes for hours, into the early hours of the morning. Then, you would wake up and do it all over again.

Your friends remarked on how boring you and In-ho’s lives were, that there was no real excitement, and that you were just going through the motions. You couldn’t disagree more. You loved going through the motions, and waking up every day knowing what you would do, and that your husband would be waiting for you at home. The predictable joy was your paradise. In-ho would wonder too, questioning if this was what you wanted. He couldn’t imagine how someone like you would want to be with a boring policeman with a 9-5 job. You couldn’t explain it, didn’t need to, you just loved spending time with your husband.

Your wedding was small and cheap, in the worship hall of a local church on a Saturday afternoon. Your family didn’t have the money for a flight to attend, and you couldn’t afford to bring them to you. So, your family was replaced by your friends, and Jun-ho walked you down the aisle.

The reception was in your house, and you and In-ho had stayed up late the night before making food. It was the best day of your life, and your friends and family stayed up late eating in the basement of the church at folding tables.

That night, you and an In-ho made love for the first time (always a gentleman), and as you slept on his chest he promised you that he would do anything for you. Even if he couldn’t give you much in terms of nice clothes, or a nice apartment, he would make you as happy as he possibly could.

In the fifth year of your marriage, both your and In-ho’s careers became enormously stressful. The MERS outbreak in South Korea made your hospital one of the central trauma centers for victims, and In-ho received a promotion, giving him more and more hours away from home.

One day, during a long shift, you almost passed out. The hospital was loud and frantic, and you fell over in the middle of the ER, the voices and lights around you becoming a blur. You only were able to regain focus when a doctor grabbed you by your shoulders and screamed in your face, “Get the fuck up and treat your goddamn patients!” He screeched, the force of it causing spit to fly into your face.

Dazed, you got up and continued treating patients, pushing your brief pass-out back into your mind as just a brief fluke.

Over the next week, you were less and less hungry when In-ho would make food. He would look at you concerned, “Honey, is there something wrong with the food? I thought this soup was your favorite.” 

You offered a weak smile in return, “I love it In-ho, I just don’t have an appetite today. Sorry.”

He smiled back, “All alright, just let me know if I can do anything.”

Work got more hectic for both of you, and moments of exhaustion grew in you more and more, but all could likely be attributed to the stress of the job.

The nausea started a month after the exhaustion. At least once during a shift, you would have to run to a bathroom to throw up. After one especially hard day, where, with still six hours left in you had already thrown up three times, you called In-ho crying.

“In-ho.” You said through sobs.

Nothing else passed your lips, but immediately your husband broke out into a flurry of questions, “Honey, what’s wrong? Is everything okay, did something happen?” You could hear the panic in his voice as clearly as you could see it if he was standing right in front of you.

You didn’t say anything for a minute, just continued crying as you heard In-ho try to interject several times, but each time he stopped himself, waiting for you to say something.

You were just about the explain the situation when you heard someone knock on the door of the bathroom, “Nurse Hwang, are you in there?”

“Yes, I’ll be out in a minute.” You said, your hand shaking as you held the phone.

“We need you out here now, you can’t waste time in the bathroom.” Your coworker said. She was nice, and a recent graduate of college. Her inexperience and fear were evident, and while whatever problem she was facing was likely her responsibility, she would be torn to shreds by your boss if she didn’t do everything right, and you had to help her.

“In-ho, let’s talk when we get home.” You said, forcing your sobs back into your throat.

“(Y/n), wait-” You didn’t let him finish, hanging up now was already hard enough but if you let him talk longer it would only get worse.

The chaos of your shift only got worse and worse, and it was nearly 4 AM by the time you got home. You felt like death itself had risen and slapped you across the face.

In-ho was sitting at the table, his leg bouncing so hard you could feel the vibrations through the floor. “(Y/n), what’s wrong are you okay?!” He said, panic radiating off his skin as he reached up and grabbed your hands, searching his gaze up and down you.

You had called him earlier tonight, hadn’t you? But for some reason, the why just wasn’t there, “I- I called you earlier today, right?”

His brow furrowed in confusion, “yes, you were crying. I’ve been terrified for hours. What happened?”

You looked away from him, “I- I don’t remember.”

“What do you mean, you don’t remember? Honey, what’s going on?” He grabbed your shoulders, out of concern, and you winced away from him.

“Ow, that hurt.” You muttered, rubbing your shoulders.

The fear only seemed to grow in his eyes, “I didn’t grab you that hard I didn’t think. I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, it’s just been a long day.” You gave him a half-hearted smile, “can we just go to bed?

He frowned but nodded and gently wrapped you in a hug, “Of course, let’s sleep, and tomorrow we’ll see if you can remember.”

Nothing came to you in the morning, and when you took your shirt off to change into your scrubs, you noticed purple bruises on your shoulders from where In-ho had grabbed you the night before. 

“Honey, is everything all right in there, you’ve been changing for a while?” In-ho called in from the other room.

“Yeah- yeah, everything’s okay.” You put your shirt on, not telling In-ho so as to not upset him. You knew that he hadn’t grabbed you that hard, so you didn’t want to scare him with freak bruises.

In the next month, it became harder and harder to function. Your body constantly felt exhausted and weak and sore, and you almost never had an appetite. Sleep was rare to come by due to a constant itching feeling that would spread over your body.

The world felt blurry a lot of the time, you got more confused and forgetful at work and at home, and your bosses would tear into you more and more. It was difficult to bring anything up to In-ho, his schedule became so busy that you talked less and less, and you didn’t want to stress him out with problems that were likely just caused by a stressful job.

Whenever he would notice something, and ask you what was wrong, it felt like pieces of a puzzle that wouldn’t fit when you were answering. Your responses wouldn’t quite make sense, you would say something a little bit incorrect, or wouldn’t completely answer the question. Both you and In-ho were confused by it, but neither had the time nor energy to prod further.

Everything in your life was falling apart and getting worse and worse, but you felt too dazed most of the time. You couldn’t really think about everything happening, and it all just spiraled out of control.

In-ho awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of gagging. He stumbled out of bed, wondering if you had eaten something that upset your stomach.

“(Y/n)?” He asked as he walked to the bathroom, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw in front of you. You were crouched down on your hands and knees, a couple of feet in front of the toilet, throwing up. Throwing up near-black dark vomit.

“(Y/n)!” In-ho, in that moment, felt more terrified than he had ever before in his entire life. He ran over to you and crouched down on the ground next to you. Your entire body was shaking, and you kept throwing up. “(Y/n), what’s wrong? What’s happening? What’s going on?” He didn’t know what to do. No amount of disaster or emergency training he had received had prepared him for this moment.

You didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. He grabbed you in his arms, and you shook against his chest as he ran out of the apartment. He didn’t put on shoes, or a jacket. A broken bottle his neighbor dropped in the hallway cut his feet as he ran to the elevator, but he didn’t feel it. You were still throwing up on his chest and his fear for you was all he could focus on.

The car ride felt like it lasted hours. You were in the passenger seat, never stopping throwing up. His feet were cut up, and his white shirt was covered in blood.

He parked right in front of the ER you worked in, not pulling into a parking space. He carried you in his arms to the front desk, and all of the staff stared in shock for a brief moment at the sight of their coworker being carried by her husband, covered in blood. Within a quarter of a second that felt like an hour, they all rushed into action.

Someone took you out of his arms and placed you on a gurney, wheeling you into a trauma bay, while blood from In-ho’s feet followed you in a trail. Your eyes opened and shut, and you focused on your husband yelling your name, “(Y/n), (Y/n)!” As his face and voice faded in and out.

Part two will be out soon!

[ange11icyuri]

PICK A PILE.

Choose a fairy to give you wisdom /advice !!

~ PILE 1. ~

If you chose pile 1 you’re advice from the fairy is to beware of temptation. You may be tempted to continue unhealthy habits, whether it’s eating habits, sleeping habits or whatever habits that may make you feel guilty for even doing them. If you’re feeling guilty it’s for a reason. Maybe these habits aren’t good for you and we need to try and be a bit more healthier in our life. Basically, the fairy is asking you to overcome any unhealthy habits and things that tempt you that are not good for you. Your angels would like to let you know that something is about to come to light. Maybe a hidden secret or something you didn’t know before you’ll finally have clarity and realize the truth about whatever situation you’re handling in life. When what is hidden is exposed you’ll finally be free. They’d also like you to be very clear and honest with what you wish to manifest in life, you can manifest anything you put your mind to but make sure it’s clearly what you want. Manifesting can make you achieve your dreams or goals that you’ve been wanting to achieve so keep going!!

~ PILE 2. ~

If you chose pile 2, you’re fairies would like you to work as a team with people in your life. Sometimes you don’t always have to be alone you can always work together with someone as teamwork can make the dream work. This can be in any terms of your life. If there’s something you could do with someone do it together rather than alone. Whether in school life, or work life or whatever the case may be come together with people and work together it’s more better and it teams it gets the job done. There’s also something hidden that’s going to come to light for you. Something you didn’t know before and this time you’ll be able to get clarity from it. Be sure not to be tempted though—falling into temptation may never be a good sign and you don’t wanna be stuck with unhealthy habits. The fairies will help you navigate through your current situation you’re not alone and soon things will start to make more sense. You’ll have your answers soon enough & be able to have more wisdom and make decisions that are better for your life.

~ PILE 3. ~

If you chose pile 3, you’re in for a long message. My it seems the fairies wanted to talk a lot to you today. Fairies alike humans need friends, and for you the fairies are telling you to reach out and try to put yourself out there to find genuine friends who can support you and be there for you in all you’re times. They will be able to encourage you on your journey so you can fulfill those dreams you’ve been hoping to achieve. It’s not easy to be by yourself and do things on your own but if you have a friend by your side things can feel a little less hard. The fairies would also like you to know that they may see what you’ve been going through and maybe life hasn’t always been easy on you; but just know you are being assisted by your guides & your angels even the fairies too. There will be blessings coming into your life because after the end of a hurricane is a peaceful time for you. The fairies also say that you can bless others too!! When you are blessed you can blessed others. It shows a good side of you. That’s pure. So if you’re being blessed make sure to return those favors!!:) it will be a good thing in the long run. The fairies also want you to surrender to change because things happen for a reason and if there’s a big change happening for you, don’t be upset about it even if it’s not always what you want this is for you’re highest good. It’s for a purpose in your life so know that. It’s not happening to harm you, it’s happening because it’s the best thing that can happen for you to help you. The best is yet to come. The fairies also want you to know that you can take time to yourself to reflect on things because when you do you can think more clearly and use you’re intuition to help you in whatever situation you’re going through. To reveal things you didn’t even know about your situation before. If you feel alone right now which the fairies can see your sadness, think of it as you’re all one..meaning you’re in total harmony with everything despite whatever happened in your situation now you can finally have the freedom to be more all one and independent. The greatest treasures in life are those worth waiting for so if it hadn’t happen for you right away, be more patient better things will come. The happy fairy would also like you to be positive she wants to remind you to continue to shine bright to reveal anything in the shadows that might actually help you heal. I’m seeing to wait for around winter time. Something significant could happen around this time for you. The queen of winter, the fairy will help you manifest & you can manifest too better things within winter because that’s around the time where you’re manifestations and your wishes will come through!! For your highest good.

~ PILE 4. ~

If you chose the last pile, pile 4. You’re fairies would like you to know that you have to protect your dreams and goals that you’re wanting to achieve. Keep them safe & don’t let go of those dreams no matter what happens in your life. You can achieve those goals and dreams whatever you put your mind to but right now you need to keep them close, until you’re finally ready to release those dreams & have that happen for you. It all takes time and patience. Surrender to basically the natural flow of life. Whatever will happen will happen for you in your highest good you just have to trust in the universe and you’re fairies! Everyone magical is assisting you from far away. If you’re feeling confused this faith will help you to realize that you can be calm and she will reassure you that peace in you’re life and happiness is possible you just to be patient and continue to just follow through with life’s path for you and know that everything will be okay in the end. Angels are celestial beings that protect everyone so if you find yourself feeling scared or afraid or even sad of life that’s happening right now—it’s time for you to ask for help and guidance maybe pray or maybe manifest for better times to come in you’re life and be patient you’ll see those changes. You’re protected and guided always.

[spiceofvy]

Stray kids with a bunny gf in heat🫣

SKZ with a bunny reader in heat

a/n: i am really excited to post this, i wanted to dabble into hybrids for a long time! so thank you so much for that request!

cws: nsfw, no gendered terms but reader is heavily implied to be afab, bunny-hybrid!reader, heats/mating cycles, reader is nesting (changbin, hyunjin), dom skz (except for jisung) sub-ish!reader, bottom!reader, mentions of food/eating, lots of talk of sex drives

Chan: Your heat is his favorite time of the year. Gets all giddy and excited shortly before your heat hits. He is up for the challenge. His stamina matches yours during heat and he can freely fuck you stupid. Outside of your heat he always feels the need to hold himself back, as to not be too much for you, but during your heat, he takes what he needs and in turn gives you what you crave. So much demeaning praise, you are so good for him, so good but also so needy. Most likely to forget that the two of you need food and water in between the fucking, sue him. Because the sex definitely makes up for it.

Minho: He is very strict with you during your heat. He knows how harsh heats can be on your cute body and he will not let you starve yourself just so you can get fucked more. Stupid needy thing. You will eat. You will drink water. And you will sleep. No ifs or buts. Ties you up if you don't listen and keep on humping him. Doesn't have as much stamina but is more than willing to fuck you stupid on a toy or his fingers instead. All in all he is very strict with you but also super loving. He only wants your best after all.

Changbin: Such a sweet boy. He can't quite keep up with your sex drive but is super down to you just taking what you need from him when he gets tired. Sleepily gets you off with his hands or by letting you ride his thigh as he collects himself. And when he has the energy again he pushes you face back into the mattress and fucks you until your eyes roll back and you drool all over yourself. We love a versatile king. Also loves to feed you with sweets and praising you through every phase of your heat. Makes sure your nest is only filled with the softest pillows and the fluffiest blankets.

Hyunjin: He stays in control the whole time. No matter what happens. You are in such a vulnerable situation, you need someone to take care of you and your heat clouded mind. He is not scared to use toys to get you off, overstimulates you so your resting phase is longer after and he can provide you with food. If you feel comfortable leaving your nest he would also carry you to the bathtub and give you a deep clean. During your first heat he also tried to clean your nest a bit. But he quickly learned that bunnies can bite too. So now he swallows down his need to prepare a clean bed for you.

Jisung: Everytime your heat rolls around he tries to keep control of the situation but everytime he ends up laying on his back with you riding him like there is no tomorrow. Just lays there and whines almost as pitifully as you do while you use him to chase your next orgasm. Honestly, an outsider could think that this was heat too, just from the sound he makes. He sets alarms to remind the two of you to eat and drink some water. The food he prepared is not the healthiest but it does its job. Cuddles you the whole time and does not want to leave your side.

Felix: He is super close to being able to match your sex drive. Fucks you so well, caging your body with his as he takes you from behind. Whispering the filthiest praise into your ear. Petting your hair before pulling it roughly to hear your pretty little mewls. When you are finally tired he feeds you while rubbing your stomach. Massaging your tired muscles. Loves if you sleep on top of him, or something similarly close. Also, he doesn't care about how hot you get, you will not sleep without a blanket. Not on his watch. When you stir him awake again, because you got horny, he would totally make you grind on a pillow, before he takes mercy on you fucks you again.

Seungmin: He always plans out how your heats go beforehand. This may be unromantic or boring to some but it serves well. And makes sure that you are never dissatisfied. He knows his own body and drive very well, and after spending he couple of heats with you, he also has your waves figured out pretty good. He knows exactly when its enough for you to just be fucked with a toy or when you need his dick to turn you into a stupid mess. So he knows how to preserve his energy so he is ready for you during the height of your heat. He is also super protective of you, no one gets to be close to you. Not even a call from the outside world.

Jeongin: Not really a surprise, but he also matches your stamina perfectly. I would even go so far to say that his drive is even stronger than yours. He fucks you through the waves of your heat easily, just to then smile at you softly and feed you a perfectly nutritious meal. He keeps is dick deep inside you so you can feel sated during your sleep, and when you wake up horny, all you need to do is grind back against him to immediately get off again. He is probably the best heat partner out of all of them. But after your heat he does need 2-3 business days off to recover. But honestly, this just means that you can get some nice after-heat-cuddles.

[bunnwich]

im so happy that attachment worked! im glad u like the gift, bunny (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

if it's alright with you, i'd love your take again on what conflicts one would have if they were dating leona. after all, relationships aren't perfect and im assuming in the beginning, lots of things could be difficult to manage.

im under the impression leona isn't used to compromising. he's more used to people adjusting for him than the other way around. at least at the start. what other conflicts do you think could arise and how will you get past them?

thank you again, bunn! (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠) have a great day!

Conflicts When Dating Leona

Hi friend! YES, THIS IS A REALLY INTERESTING QUESTION. First off, I think irl most people have emotional baggage based on trauma, how they grew up, and often, unfortunately, this can get projected onto a partner in their lowest moments. 

I think that there could be some smaller issues that would arise when dating Leona, but I think that depends on what a person can tolerate in a relationship in general, and what each individual can vibe with. We ALL have imperfections, and often in long-term relationships, it comes down to finding someone whose flaws are compatible with your own and being able to balance and nurture each other in healthy ways. Also letting the other person have “ugly” moments and still being able to love them.

Here are a few things I think might come up in a relationship with Leona that could be hard to deal with.

1.) Messy Lifestyle: 

I think Leona is used to others cleaning up after him and making his own meals. It’s not that I think he couldn't do it himself, I think he just chooses not to learn bc of his privilege and the acceptance that his life will "always be like this", so “what’s the point.” He lacks the motivation to improve his life. Half of it, I think, is depression, and the other is…he's just a brat. He's a spoiled rich kid.

So a S/O who comes from a poor or humble background (like Ruggie) or someone with a strict routine (Like Vil)  wouldn't be able to tolerate something like this. I think there's a difference between “dirty” and “messy” and I don’t think he's unhygienic (contrary to old fandom HCs), BUT he IS messy. He’s a complicated man, I think he both cares little about his appearance and cares a lot. Obviously he cares little about wrinkles and buttons, BUT he cares enough to braid his hair and wear flashy jewelry. Though I suppose the fact that he has a deal with Ruggie to care for him and his room, he at least has some standards. He’s a prince!

I do wanna believe (at least in my timeline with Yuu) that Leona learns to live more of a humble life and bonds with the common folk of his kingdom as he takes a job in the community. (Maybe one day he’ll figure out the microwave.)

2.) He Has Toneal Issues/He’s Bossy:

 I think while it may not come from a bad place, Leona tends to think he knows best for everyone. I think he tends to view everything as “big picture”, a chess board, if you will. And he feels as tho he sees everyone clearly (He doesn't), but he feels he does so sometimes while “trying to help you improve” or “giving you advice.” I can see him being a pushy or a know-it-all. And even if coming from a place of “I see your potential and I just want you to be better”, for someone who is more…sensitive, this could be an issue. I can see him having issues sugarcoating things or always using a “nice” tone. It's not that he can't, he just doesn’t mostly. Now, as his S/O I think he is softer on you, but when he gets too stuck in the “mentor Leona” mindset, I can see him being a bit too harsh.

3.) He HATES Being Ignored/Not Listened To:

To kind of go hand in hand with my above point, I think Leona feels as though important people in the past have ignored or not listened to him. And if he feels as though you don't trust, listen or respect him, I can see him getting hung up if in a bad way, OR projecting this past pain onto a partner. Again, this wouldn’t be all the time bc I choose to believe Leona is a self-aware person. Based on the reflections we’ve seen in Chapter 2 light novel and his Chapter 7 dream. HE KNOWS HE'S KINDA A MESS. But, if he feels as though he’s not receiving “adequate attention,” I can see him being a bit clingy or overbearing. We ALL have insecurities, and I firmly believe that nurturing each other’s inner child in a relationship can be key, so making sure he feels like he takes a high precedence in your life is very important to him, considering how highly he would think of you. 

4.) Letting Him Be Right (Sometimes):

Futhermore, Leona is VERY opinionated and I think that while he needs a strong personality to square up with him, you might need to pick your battles and let him take that mentor role he loves so much. He’s got a bit of an ego, and I think he values his intelligence and thrives on the idea of being a caretaker and giving advice. So when he sees others take his advice and “need” him, he feels valued and validated. I do firmly believe in caretaker Leona. He’s smart enough to know when you got this and when to step back. He loves that you're independent! (He wouldn’t choose you if you weren't tough.) BUT, he does like to be needed by you. And if he’s having a low point, I can see this popping up from time to time as a point of frustration for him.

5.) Mood Swings/Clinginess

I do think that once he is invested in someone, all of his insecurities about being needed and wanted will surface. He wants to feel acknowledged by you, to be reassured that you love him. You DON’T have to worship the ground he walks on, but since you would be one of the closest, if not the closest to him, that can be a heavy burden to bare. He can be moody and will need reassurance, even if he doesn’t know how to ask, but he acknowledges himself in Chapter 7 that he “craves attention” more than most. This sort of codependency could be too much for someone who is easily overwhelmed.

Leona’s got Flaws, but He’d Never Stop Trying Being the Best For You.

I think it is a bit of a taboo subject in a way, but dating/marrying someone with deep trauma or a mental illness is NOT always easy. They can sometimes act in ways that are unfair to you based on their trauma, and working out a healthy balance can be hard. I like to read Leona as mature and self-aware, and so I think with time and patience, he would learn how to balance his emotions and keep himself in check with his partner. He’s used to being alone, so it might take a little getting used to. Even so, he’d always apologize (despite what people think). A serious relationship would be all-encompassing to him, and he considers you a “team.” I do think that through disagreements and even fights, Leona would be surprisingly easy to talk to after or through it. He’s logical and empathetic in his own right. 

I think that when ppl “give Leona” flaws, they usually go the “he's aloof.” or “he cares but he's never says I love you out loud" route. And meh, I just don't believe in a SERIOUS established relationship, Leona would be “low-key.” about anything. It would be very apparent how much he loves you. He would never want you to feel how he did. Contrary to popular HC, I don't believe he would have an issue saying how much he loves you either. He's just a bit of a grump and can be a handful. “Mm, I'm sorry. Truly. You know your Lion loves ya.”

That's just what I think anyway, and what I HC! Thank you for your ask!! This was a really interesting one to unpack! I love the subject of imperfect love and relationships bc I feel like it's such a nuanced subject that isn’t brought up a lot. AND THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR ART I LOVE IT SM! 💚💚💚

[soo0hee]

Splish, Splash Pt. 1/2

Pairing — Lifeguard!Hong Jisoo/Joshua x afab!Lifeguard!Reader

Summary — When you get stuck with the new guy at your shifts, you weren't sure what to make of him. His bright smile and the everlasting sunshine he seemed to carry around, paired with the good natured sass and way to juicy ass left you reeling. Will you be able to survive the summer without losing your mind?

Genre — fluff, angst, Lifeguard!Au, enemies to lovers au

Warnings — suggestive, cursing, alcohol, sexual harrassment, dare i say men(?)

Word Count — 4.0k

Rating — PG-13 — [may change for part 2]

Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©soo0hee on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!

This work is part of the Carat Bay Collab by @camandemstudios ! Please check them out!

When one was working at a waterpark, they usually expected to get wet or hit by water at certain points of their job. Someone splashing around, a waterball that came rolling or straight up just jumping in to get someone out of it.

And yet, somehow when small drops hit you, you still flinched in surprise at the sudden contact.

It wasn’t on purpose, more like an instinct when the cold of it hit your skin that had you shuddering and flinch away from the offending liquid. Somethibg you should be, in theory, used to after 2 years of working at CaratBay. Or at least one would think so.

But somehow you still reacted the exact same way then when you had first started.

You still remembered your first day and how hard your new coworker and future best friend had laughed when he saw the mortification on your face , drops of water sliding down and dripping from your chin after having been drenched unexpectedly by a kid jumping in close by.

What you would give to have him laugh at you again if that meant to have him back as your shift partner instead of the new guy you had been presented with by the higher ups just 3 weeks ago.

Wooyoung, even if the biggest menace you had ever gotten to meet in your entire life, was who had gotten you out of your personal bubbleand build up the confidence you needed not to let guests talk over you and stand up for yourself and the decicisons that needed to be made to keep them and yourself safe.

And now he was gone. Not gone gone but moved far enough away to have him search for a job that wasn’t on the other side of seoul.

You wanted him back and the new guy gone. Hong Jisoo or Joshua as he introduced himself to you.

He seemed nice enough at first glance. His friendly smile and the way the rest of the staff kind of flogged to him instantly. And you had to admit he did look good.

Joshua was a good guy, that much you could tell but somehow you didn’t find yourself inclined to make an effort and get to know him on a personal level.

He was a coworker and that was it. No friendship – no getting close. A coworker.

It was easy to stick to that principle at first. Only talking to each other when it was about guests or the Bay in total, not giving to many details about your privat life instead keeping a polite distance that left you room to breath and that was it. Joshua accepted it.

Until he didn’t.

You had the feeling that it wasn’t because he didn’t accept the boundary you put in place but more because he genuinely tried to be on good terms with you. Simple things really like sitting at the same table at the parks restaurant during break time while you ate your fries, bringing you some water when he got himself one to stay hydrated or when offered to take your pool bar shift in the evening because he noticed you being uncomfortable when some idiots got a bit to tipsy and started flirting outrageously cause he was just sweet like that. And so you couldn’t be mad even if you wanted to be.

Snacking on your food you quietly watched Yuna, one of the other Lifeguards console a crying girl after she had fallen while running after an older boy. It was rare that you actually worked together with her as she was assigned a different are of the park, but every now and then there moments when you saw each other in passing. Like now where she took over while you were on break.

Joshua sat opposite you, scrolling on his phone while neither disturbed the hanging silence between you both. Not uncomfortable but definitely noticeable.

Mindlessly you reached for the next fry.

“Soo‐” your eyes flickered to the man as he suddenly spoke up, leaned back and gaze fixed on you while you pushed the fry into your mouth only to promptly—

“-why don’t you like me?”

— choke on it.

Coughing you stared at him in surprise before taking the offered water to flush down the part of the fry that left you gasping.

“I mean… I never said I didn’t like you…” you choked out and cleared your throat to get your voice back to normal.

“You also never acted like you don’t. Don’t get me wrong, you’re never rude just– distant?” not once did his friendly smile drop from his face. He seemed almost curious.

“Distant?” you asked.

“Distant.” He answered. “In 3 weeks, this is our first conversation that’s not about the park. At least not directly. So yeah, distant.”

Now that he said it, distant wasn’t wrong.

“I’m not- I mean I wasn’t—”

“But you are. And it’s okay, I don’t judge. You don’t know me and from what I gathered from the others, you were pretty close with the lifeguard before me.”

A little disarmed by his friendliness you needed a moment to gather yourself. You leaned forward to catch his eyes and gave him a much to sweet looking smile.

“You’re right, I don’t know you.”

“But you also don’t want to know me.” A statement more then it was a question the man accepted your answer with a nod.

“I don’t know you.” You repeated yourself.

“We’ve established that.” With one last look on his phone he put it back into the pocket of his shorts and got up. “But if you want to, you know where to find me”

Gone before you could answer you leaned back, baffled and nut hungry anymore you huffed.

The rest of the shift had been no different then before you went on break, the only difference being that Joshua was a lot more smiley then before.

You ignored it for the time being and when you fell in bed that night his words came to catch up, never leaving your mind and not letting you rest before you admitted to yourself that you had been a bit of an asshole to the man. You had told yourself that it wasn’t that you disliked him and that you had only been distant, yet somehow you found yourself not even willing to give him a chance.

“You also don’t want to know me.”

Joshua was right. So far you hadn’t even entertained the idea of it and that had been an A class asshole move.

The blanket shifted beside you, the added weight and the almost inaudible purring announcing the arrival of one of your kittens.

Nelli the blue ragdoll baby you had adopted from a shelter after your friend had take you to join her to walk a 2 of the dogs she regularly went out with was the by far cuddlier one of the two while, Sua, a white British shorthair, would rather liked to stay close but never wanted any pats unless she asked for them first.

The little kitten nudged your face with her nose and curled together next to your head, sounding like an engine running without it’s energy draining and soothing you to sleep.

--------

The coffee cup on Joshua’s locker in the changing room the next morning was a surprising but not unwelcome development the man certainly didn’t reject. He hadn’t slept a lot, not yet used to the silence his new apartment brought and how lonely he would be after moving halfway across the country.

Honestly it should have been something to expect after knowing only few people. The guys working at Carat Bay were amazing, taking to him like he had been with them for years and inviting him wherever they could. However the silence once the apartment door fell shut behind him was deafening.

So yes, the coffee was like a godsend gift this morning. The note attached to it however had him not just reeling but send his mind down an actual rollercoaster of emotions.

*Noticed you didn’t catch much sleep*

Simple and without a name he read the note obviously meant to stay anonymous.

And if he wasn’t able to recognize the handwriting, unique with its own little quirks, it might have even worked.

The t’s looking a little like d’s made it more then obvious who the author if it had been.

For a moment Joshua thought he’d gone entirely crazy from lack of sleep.

And then he found the this time slightly bigger portion of fries you ate in your break pushed slightly more to the middle of the table, a second plastic fork placed right next to it.

He tried catching your eyes to confirm that he wasn’t overstepping in anyway but you just stared at the giant palm tree behind him, seemingly lost in thought. Or simply avoiding his eyes like you usually did. He wasn’t sure which was the case.

Only for a small moment did Joshua think he had seen your eye twitch before it was gone again, yet you stayed silent and kept munching.

Well okay then, he thought and took a second fry to dip it into the ketchup.

A bit later after he had pulled a struggling and quite out of breath 7 year old out of the water who was trying to prove that he indeed was able to keep up with his older brother and his friend, the male was almost hit in the face with one of the waterparks provided towels meant for its staff and again a bit after that he thought he saw the beginning of a hesitant smile thrown in his direction.

He was ashamed to admit that his very first instinct had been to turn around and check if there was someone standing behind him only to promptly want to smack his head against the pool tiles when realizing that you had actually meant to look at him.

Thinking that day would be a one time occurrence had apparently also been a mistake as the days to come were much the same. Small moments in which it seemed like you were actively trying to bridge the gap between them without being to obvious in your attempts.

Joshua couldn’t help but think it was adorable how you worked yourself up to walk over to him and do the simplest of things like he was going to eat you if you so much as looked at him now. He knew you would do that with him should he ever dare voice those thoughts out loud.

“I’m getting a new crate pineapple juice.” He muttered in passing just as you handed a young woman her Piña Colada and scanned her wrist banned to add the drink to her tab.

“Can you bring a cherry one too? I’m almost out.”

The question was simple in itself and with everyone else he wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

With a wink and teasing, “You got it!” he disappeared behind a palm tree, leaving you to tend the pool bar alone for the time being.

It was a week day, so things were slow as most people were either working or at school at this time. Most were couples or small groups of friends seeking to get away from the daily stress of life.

The group of boys splashing each other not to far from where you were serving and had up until now annoyed more then half of the visitors you had currently spending their time in your area was laughing loudly while flicking water at eachother.

You rounded the bar walked to the edge of the pool, sharply blowing the whistle hanging from around your neck. The noise echoed from the walls and had multiple people look at you as you crouched down fixing them with a look that meant business.

“Keep it down, you’re not the only ones here and others would appreciate it if they got the same chance to unwind here like you do.”

One of the 3 mock saluted and dove right under water. His friend following right behind while the third ran his hand through his wet hair; eyes never leaving you even when you got up and checked with a quick look if the bar needed attention again. The look he had sent chills down your back even in the tropical heat inside the dome in which the regular pool was placed.

“Come one baby, we were just having fun! No need to be a buzzkill.”

His tone was obviously meant to be flirty but the way he said it gave you the heebie jibbies.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you aren’t alone in this pool. Please keep it down.”

You stepped back and left him with one last look.

Joshua came back carrying the crates and went back behind the bar. Having already seen that you were busy at the pool he didn’t worry that you weren’t where he had left you and when you joined him again he simply asked if everything was okay.

“Just some rowdy boys who can’t keep it down.”

“So nothing new?”

“No not really.” You chuckled and opened the industrial dishwasher below the counter. Steam surrounded you , causing you to wave your hands through the warm cloud to make it go away.

He looked past you to eye them like you had done before leaving your post earlier.

“Think they’re gonna cause trouble?”

“Not sure. Maybe just a bit excited but I didn’t get the vibe that they’d actually out for it.”

You grabbed the warm plastic cups and dried them over before stacking them back up. Joshua pushed the cherry and pineapple juice crates into their stack system.

Nodding you looked at the couple swimming up to you.

“What can I get for you?”

“Just a Fanta and some beer, please.”

You got the order started, scanning the chip the man held out to you and handed them over.

“Here you go.” You said with your customer service smile.

The two sat down at the build into the water seats to enjoy their drinks.

Not long after you recognized the 3 boys from before approach the bar. They had actually kept it down a bit much to the other visitors delight but somehow you felt the air shift.

“What can I get for you 3?” you asked, keeping your tone neutral with Joshua watching carefully.

“2 beers for these idiots and you for me baby.” His words had you halt, eyebrows jumping almost all the way up into your hair line.

The line was uncalled for and you’d rather he’d swim away again but went over to the cooler for said beers. Joshua having heard what had been said too, kept quiet and caught your eyes, waiting for you to signal to have him take over. You shook your head, telling him you were good.

“Here, your chips please?”

“Or instead I could have your number instead of a tab?”

You stared unimpressed with the scanner in your hand.

“Just the chips are fine.”

The two beside him let out a dramatic “Ohhhhhhh!” and “Damn girl, why so mean!” and you really had to hold yourself together to not roll your eyes right into your skull at their behavior.

“Pay your drinks or we’ll have to ask you to leave the premises.” Joshua called over, hovering behind you and waiting for them to react.

The held their hands up in surrender and gave you the chip. Quickly you scanned it down and watched them leave. The displeased frown on mr-number-instead did not go unnoticed.

And that was it.

The vanished a bit later, plastic cups carelessly left behind and not a trace of them in sight. You were glad, guessing that the 3 must have gone to a different part of the park just as Yuna came to take over.

"You good?" you heard Joshua ask as you made your way around the pool.

"Sure. Just an idiot thinking he's god's gift to mankind. Nothing new and nothing that hasn't happened before at some point. Youngie hated when I told him off for taking over without me asking for help, so thank you for letting me handle it. A least somewhat."

Joshua nodded. He understood why this Youngie wanted to help, the disgust he felt for the guy was still causing his stomach to churn when he thought back.

"It's all good. He was out of line and he should have backed off when you told him to."

Time went by without a hitch. Nothing happened beside the normal occurrences. A scraped knee from falling on the wet tiles and a busted lip and bleeding nose after collision underwater by 2 girls and the clock already struck 7pm. A loud gong went of telling everyone that it was time to make their way home soon.

The regular pool was one of the last parts of Carat Bay to close. The kids area and Waterslide already closed along with the Merchstand and Restaurants so it was only a matter of time until people were showered and on the way to the parking lot.

You stretched your arms and back and suppressed a yawn, feeling tired and more then ready to go home soon.

“Where is Joshua?”

Seungkwan, usually stationed at the Flow Rider stood by the swing door separating the main area and the visitor changing rooms, waiting for Vernon who came from the wave pool and looked up from his phone.

“Shua-hyung? Wanted to check the pool one last time before changing. Isn’t he back yet?”

You shock your head.

“Well he’s probably done soon. Anyways I’m heading out now. You coming?” the last part directed at Vernon he saluted quickly and was gone. The slightly younger right behind him.

You tried to oversee the pool, hoping to see your coworker coming back already but with a defeated sigh you gave up. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Joshua to do his job, you knew he was more then capable to do so, but it didn’t stop you from checking again yourself.

You found him further in the back behind a shut of waterfall and you froze.

Oh boy.

Joshua stood shoulder deep in the water, hair wet, water running down his face and falling into the pool. His black shirt clinging tightly onto his way to defined chest and arms, mocking in a way.

Of course you knew that he was attractive. You had tried to avoid him but you weren’t blind. You had seen that he hid well defined muscles underneath the fabric of his shirt but right now, it wasn’t just obvious. It was like a punch to the face, begging to be stared at.

What was even worse was that in the clear water you could see very well the shorts of his showcasing his thighs even if it was a little shaky.

“Uhmm…” you said a little dumb sounding even to your own ears. Joshua having noticed you standing at the edge lit up further then he should have in your opinion and triumphantly held up a pair of pink glasses.

“Found it!”

“F-found what?”

He held the glasses up higher.

“These! A woman called a said that their daughter probably left their glasses at the island, so I went and checked and voila! I got em.”

“I can see that.” Among other things. ”That doesn’t explain why you are in the water?”

With raised eyebrows and a picked up jaw you clearly didn’t care to hide the amusement you felt as you stared him down with crossed arms. Eyes quickly flicking up from his broad shoulders to his face.

Joshua looked like you had grown a second head. “To get the glasses? Didn’t you hear me?”

You nodded slowly.

“Yeah, no I got that part. What I don’t get is why you didn’t use the bridge to get there…”

It was almost comical how his face changed from Duh! to Huh? to Ohhh. As he looked back at the island and saw the bridge leading over to the little island where he came from.

Snorting you tried to hide your laugh and failed epically.

The man in the pool splashed you with water in retaliation.

“Don’t laugh, woman!” he fake whined, pout clearly there on hips.

Staggering back a bit to avoid the water you laughed again and Joshua couldn’t help but relish in the sound.

“I’m sorry!”

“No you aren’t.”

“No I’m not.”

“At least help me out of here!”

You sat down, smile not even attempted to be hidden from him as you stared at his hand reaching out for you to take.

“Just take the stairs over there.” You hummed.

“Y/nn!”

“Okay, jesus fine you big baby!”

The playful banter did not get lost on either of you and you hated to admit that you enjoyed the moment a lot more then you thought. It felt as easy as breathing.

Maybe you should have been a bit more hesitant and maybe you should have seen it coming when you took his hand ready to pull him out but instead of him actually coming up and out of the water, you suddenly found yourself in it with him.

“HONG JOSHUA?!” You shrieked loudly as soon as you came back up for air, blindly splashing water into the direction you heard him cackle loudly before rubbing the water out of your eyes.

You had still been wearing your red bathing suit and the standard black shorts so at least you didn’t get drenched in your normal clothes but you hadn’t expected to have to dry yourself completely before going home either.

Again you splashed him when he could stop laughing at your predicament, now purposefully going after him. Joshua immediately reacted, the glasses he had saved quickly placed on the edge to not damage them before retaliating with just as much enthusiasm and coming closer.

You felt his arms suddenly wrapping around your midsection, barely having time to hold your breath as you suddenly found yourself dunked under. Your fingers held tightly onto him, hoping to avoid your impending doom.

“No, please! I’m sorry I shouldn’t have laughed!” you spluttered quickly.

“But are you really?”

You froze.

His voice was suddenly much closer then you had anticipated and when you looked up you found yourself almost nose to nose with his own. The tone he had used indicating something much darker hidden behind all those soft eyes that seemed to hold something wild and ready to attack given the chance.

“Well, are you…” he hummed into to space between you, making your ears ring as you fidgeted nervously. You could feel the heat of his skin in contrast to the cool of the water. It left you feeling breathless in a way you hadn’t been since your last boyfriend had first asked you out.

You choked out something that sounded a lot like “I– , you—”

when suddenly…

“What the fuck are you two doing?”

Seungkwan.

[sasahuaa]

Idia Shroud as an omega

Riddle - Leona - Azul - Kalim - Vil - Malleus

gn!reader, sfw

out of all of them, i believe this is one of my best fics, was really inspired in this one! i am experimenting with a new format for this series and i am really proud of how this turned out, i love exploring internal conflicts of characters, and i hope you all like this fic too. i cant believe i have just one more from the dorm leaders to go

Since his childhood, Idia came to terms that his life was already decided by circumstances out of his control. The future heir of the household, the head of S.T.Y.X, what school he would attend, the circles he would be part of.

Though when his mind wandered with fantasies and dreams of countless adventures, with his little brother by his side as his partner in crime, Idia held onto hope that at least some parts of his life, as little as they could be, could be decided by himself.

Idia hopes he will be able to play games and have free time, he hopes that he can simulate a place of freedom where all his fantasies are reality, all encompassed inside his room.

Ah, wouldn't it be nice to be the one choosing his own mate? Preposterous as it may seem to him, in a faraway land, or another reality, he could be loved.

Courting

It was supposed to just be a security check, a routine he followed countless times. 

Once again he received a message from Crowley, something about a mishap during  a magic class, somehow turning into a virus, contaminating both people and - sevens, Idia would like to know how - machines. Idia pets himself in the back for creating a good antivirus system for Ortho, else he doesn’t know if he would be able to stop himself from hunting down the perpetrators. 

Good thing his baby brother is safe, inside his nest, where no evil can get to him.

Leaning on his chair, Idia finished up his job, while running the code again on his computer to make sure everything was good to go, he looked away to the cameras, checking if they were back from malfunctioning. He scrolled quickly from each of them.

Camera 1, camera 2, camera 3… a long way until he got to camera 52 in an almost deserted classroom, just one student and a very cute cat.

Feeling indulgent, the omega enhanced the settings, zooming with a perfect 4k quality, although what first got his attention and a small smile was the catlike creature, what completely stole his breath away, made his jaw drop, and his skin hotter than usual was the human who calmly spoke to it, with mischievous glint in their eyes and a teasing smile.

Between the daydreaming adventures he shared with Ortho years ago, a mate is not something he often fantasized about, at the time thinking many other things were much more exciting than alphas. Because of that, Idia doesn't think he has a type, a mate was never in his plans, not when it means tying them down with him, in a place even Idia can barely tolerate.

But looking at them, Idia thinks you are totally his type.

He felt like he was flying.

– 

Idia told himself that he was not a creep, your pretty face may have caught him off guard, but he would not go out of his way to search for you.

If by chance his tablet crossed your path or he stumbled on a camera with you in it, and he lingered a little longer than appropriate, that was just a coincidence. 

You're just so enticing to watch, to the way you're diligent in classes, trying to catch up on the knowledge you were deprived of being a non native of this land, to how you're so willing to help, and an undeniable strength making up for the lack of magic. 

Everything about you screamed ideal alpha. He was sure he was not the only omega who noticed, if other omegas getting shy and acting like pre-pubescents first meeting a potential mate was anything to go by.

Not him though! He would never embarrass himself like these normies do! Actually talking to alphas? Ew, he is too much pleased with just observing when it happens that you appear on his screen.

But maybe he got too careless, and it was all your fault - how dare you be so mesmerizing, he will have his revenge someday. 

While he was admiri- ahem - doing really important stuff, Ortho sneaked behind his back and caught his gaze on you. Not cool Ortho, absolutely not cool. And his very much NOT crush was figured out by his little brother, which again, Ortho, Idia swears you are just seeing things.

“But, brother, why are your body heat and heartbeat higher than usual?” he would counter with a cheeky tone any time he tried to deny.

Idia rather die than to like someone, to have to meet expectations and give himself. It’s reaching up for something that demands more than he is capable, going too close to the sun, none the wiser setting oneself to flames and far away from salvation, the end always being falling to the hard ground, no one to stabilize his feet in the end.

All his protests fell in deaf ears, for one thing the two Shrouds had in common was great stubbornness when they had an idea in mind. Suddenly, Muscle Red couldn't contact him anymore, a blink of an eye later,  a recently released MMORPG was installed on his computer.

A new game meant that most players were rushing to complete quests, farming and, as expected from a game from that genre, forming guilds of 2 to 5 people. The importance of guilds was purely made for easier fights against bosses, completing special events, fighting on the weekly championship, earning higher rewards if you and your teammates do good, and, ugh, socializing.

Typing or talking behind a screen is much easier than real life, the anonymity is comforting for Idia, but it also comes with being familiar and, at the same time, unknown about the other person. Muscle Red was both of those, his current guild… is not.

Ortho was very smug about the fact that he prevented Idia from playing with Muscle Red in this MMORPG, eyes glinting with mirth only a child his age could have. His brother also made sure to be the one creating the guild, accessible only through invite, which was great! Less randoms and noobies for him to carry! Idia was perfectly fine with being a duo with his brother.

Except he was not.

Ortho made a whole show of inviting you to the guild, searching for your username using the IP from Ramshackle, the character named Catluv following right behind them was daunting. Idia could at least count the small victory that though he was one step away from his comfort zone about knowing who he was playing with, at least you didn't know about them, a small grace that Ortho granted him.

Worst of all, his brother constantly sent both you and him to do fetch quests or killing mobs while he decorated the base. But mostly surprising for him, being playing with you didn't feel like a chore. Of course, he was still doing most of the work, but you also put your fair share of work done and when bored, started chatting about anything that got your interest and aimlessly wandering around his character. Most important, you didn't seem to care about his lackluster responses.

[Base upgraded! Return to spawn to check what's new!]

Catluv: im omw back, was waiting to buy that armor

Catluv: u coming or will keep farming?

Catluv: also want to search for that boss in the plains later, increased rate drop to legendary weapons, if i get that 0.01% spear i'll literally cry

Gloomurai: im coming with you, i can help you later

Catluv: yay

It was nice, if the omega had to admit to himself. Another type of comforting he wasn't used to, he guesses it comes from spending time with someone he has positive feelings on while also keeping his own privacy. What surprised him the most though, was the deep purr that he made anytime a notification from you popped up, the first time Idia heard himself he almost jumped from the chair, being caught completely off guard.

Idia was surprised that he could purr, he thought that this was another one of his failures as an omega, he was not nurturing, not the normal gentle, kind, petite that was expected, he felt like any omega behaviour he had was more bothersome than enjoyable, except the nests he put effort into.

The housewarden was also warming up to you, conversations went easy when he felt no judgement from your behalf. When he first saw you, Idia thought you didn't look like the type to tolerate conversations about game mechanics and probabilities, but you were indulgent whenever the topic came up. He also had a brief suspicion that you would seek openings for those kinds of conversations, since he always rambled and many times lost track of the original question.

Gloomurai: so you see, if our guild get to rank 5 or above, we will get more 0.4% of legendary drop rates and increase epic rate to 10%, that's why i planned a strategy for the next weekly championship

Catluv: u nerd

Gloomurai: problem?

Catluv: i love nerds

Falling in love was getting too close to the sun, to permit your wings to melt and fall again to the ground. Idia repeated this many times, but he still felt tingling and yearning to the warmth of sunlight.

– 

He was done for.

r/relationshipadvice

u/GloomySamurai

I (18Ω) think I fell in love with an online friend (α)

We study in the same school, but never met face to face. I don't like going out of my room, sometimes I think I would like to go out and meet them. They are inviting me to hang out, especially now that they discovered that we are both students from the same place. How should I do that? I fear that they won't like what they see, if they know it's me.

u/AppleReaper

why would an alpha be forcing you out of your room? very loser behavior of them, red flag, stay safe OP

u/FlutheEmperor

Maybe you could invite them to your room if you don't want to go out at all?

u/Sheep1647

DO NOT invite them to your room, they are an alpha, you can never trust them in your place of vulnerability when you never met them personally, and you look distrustful of them, since you are afraid that they may stop being your friend if they met you, what do you think they won't like? Your personality? Appearance? If it's the latter they don't deserve any more time of your day, it's so superficial. A public place is always the safer choice INFO: do you have any trusted person to you that can vouch for their character? 

Idia felt like throwing up, he wanted to throw his phone across the room in rage. He was so close to doxxing all these people for saying unsavory things about your personality when they don't know you. You who stays with him until the moon turns to sun just because he didn't feel like sleeping, you who made him feel heard and cared even through the chat system of the guild or the occasional voice calls, you who always extended a hand to all your friends.

He should have thought better before seeking the opinion of reddit users, they are certainly more single than him!  The omega decided, he will meet you face to face and prove to all of them how wrong they are.

But still… he had one problem.

He didn't feel like he was good enough, not when he had unsavory feelings towards you. The dorm leader always felt eyes on him in the rare instances when he left his room, people talking behind back about his hair and personality. He hoped you would overlook his shortcomings. The omega hardly has the courage to face you!

Because you are beautiful, an otherworldly presence surrounds you, and a demeanor that would put prince charmings and enchanted princess alike to shame. Why would you choose a scrawny omega like him? it's unfathomable, he curses at himself, it's simply impossible for an alpha like you to become enamored with an omega like him, not when athletic omegas like Leona exist, or with ethereal beauties like Vil.

If you knew about the feelings deep inside him… how he wishes to be held in your embrace, to be the sole object of your affections, you would laugh at him! Deservedly so!

He knows he is not the best option, yet he couldn't help but hope. Idia spent his entire life drowning in a sea of voices, where his own went unheard even when he forced himself to go above the surface. He expected for you to be just one more tide that pushed him down, but it seems you cleared enough room for him to fit in your world.

– 

When Idia finally met you in real life, it was much more than he had expected.

His lungs flooded, having just online interactions rendered him unable to smell your scent, and now he wonders how he could have missed this in his life before. If he had any doubts about wanting you before, it turned to dust in a mere snap of a finger.

Falling in love was foolish, the hard ground is always the final destiny, yet Idia couldn't help but suspect that you would wait for him from below, arms ready to catch him before he gets hurt. If this is what falling in love means, he could accept that.

Growling

Idia is not much of an growler. Many of the Ignyhide students never heard him growl, much less the rest of NRC. This is not to say he doesn't growl, most of all, Idia is a passionate person about his hobbies and interests.

If there are people talking behind his back about his appearance or personality, he would most likely just ignore it - maybe give a sad whimper when he is alone in his nest. But doubting or thinking they are better than him in gaming and engineering? Idia will push the fiercest growl out of his throat.

Even when he is playing and in a difficult match, he rather keep himself quiet, otherwise the rumbling in his chest distract him.

Though in his personal opinion, even when he doesn't enjoy growling all that much, he thinks your growls are really hot.

If you are immersed in your own interests or defending his honor while growling, Idia is quietly chirping behind you.

Purring

As stated before, Idia rarely ever purrs. He used to do it more frequently before, when Ortho was still alive like any other being, but ever since the shock of his death Idia thought his purr box got broken.

During courting, he is still getting used to purring, many times pissing him off more than calming him down. But with time, he learns to accept as a part of himself.

Idia's purrs betray him sometimes, the omega gets easily embarrassed when you shower him with affection, he may try to hide himself behind a pillow or under a blanket, yet his purr box is working like a machine, satisfied to be receiving attention from his alpha.

Nesting

Idia has his nest covering his bed, a very big and warm nest. 90% of his day he is laying there. If he was asked to mention one quality of being an omega, he would for sure say nesting. For him, it's impossible to understand why betas and alphas do not indulge in nesting themselves.

He wants to share his happiness with you, so date nights are most of the times spent in his nest. Idia almost suffocates you with how many blankets he has, of so many kinds. Also, he prefers blankets than pillows, but he is open to introducing to his nest merchandise plushies from fandoms he is part of.

This omega is super insecure in your relationship, at least in the beginning of your relationship, so to reassure himself, he tries to make his room a second den for you, acquiring things he knows you'll like. Idia likes to imagine that his room is a den proper to keep the most prized possessions of his alpha - he wants to include himself in this category too.

And vice-versa, he wants to have permission to make nests in your own den.

Marking

Quite possessive, doesn't like to imagine other omegas looking at what is his.

At the same time, he doesn't want to appear overly clingy or do things these embarrassing couples do. But if he sees super cringe matching cups with "player 1”and "player 2” stamped, he is buying it without a second thought, in fact, he is not even having a first thought.

Also buys necklaces with both of your initials - he is what he judges the most.

Probably wants to scent mark you, but is too shy to suggest unless he is in a fit of jealousy. When this happens, besides his natural scent, the smell of bitterness and warning are glued to your skin. He'll be seen more often by your side, wearing one of your hoodies, until he calms down.

Omeganspace

Nail marks embed your arms and back, Idia doesn't want to let you go. A healthy blush flushes from his cheek to chest, and he nips your face and neck while chirping.

It's during these times that Idia is shameless to claim, he'll openly admit his desires and fears, holding you tightly and almost merging your bodies.

He would do it if he could, better yet, he wants to find a way to do so.

Idia have a selective hearing, he can be obedient and listen to you if he thinks his reward will be worth it. But if you suggest leaving to do any other activity? Suddenly it's like he does not have years at all and your arms are full of putty omega.

☽ ☼ ☾

“Are you finished yet?”

You murmur beside him, watching your own gaming PC that Idia installed in his room. Both of you were playing Stardew Valley, Idia's character was almost passing out from exhaustion after spending the day in the cave, while you decided to stay back and take care of the farm.

He wanted to laugh menacingly at the reddit users who deemed you untrustworthy, because look at you! being a perfect not-his-yet-alpha in game, taking the housework duties while he works hard to provide.

Yep, that's how it should be, Idia sees his future and it's bright - he should really turn down the brightness on his screen a little. 

“Hm,” and his character falls down, spawning in his own bed, a bed beside yours!

“I have a gift for you,” you giggle, urging him outside to meet you. “Close your eyes~”

Idia waits in front of your home and does what you asked. He can hear your steps as you approach, the sound coming from your computer as you mess with your hud.

“You can see now”

The omega opens his eyes, his face heats up and he inhales a deep breath. A marriage proposal pops up on his screen, your character with a mermaid pendant standing right before him.

As he glances to the side, he meets your gaze, an expectant look and a soft smile graces your features. With a hand gifting him an scented scarf, a proper courting gift, Idia can just think that you promise much more for the future.

[mountttmase]

Learn To Love Me

Note - SURPRISE!!!! I know ive been gone for like a week but im feeling loads better and ive missed you guys so so much 🩷 I’ll reply to any anons ive been sent whilst I was away in a bit but thank you for being so so kind and understanding 😘 this fic has been a labour of love for so long and thank you to my queen Elisa for all of her help and support through it all 😭 I know it might not be everyone’s cup of tea but if you like drama than I hope you like this 😂 feedback is appreciated as always and ily guys so much 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 25k

Warnings - smut, angst and fluff

‘You nervous?’

‘A little bit’ you answered, twiddling your thumbs nervously as you sat on the end of your bed for the evening. Whenever you had a night out planned like you had tonight, you liked to splash out on a nice hotel room so you didn’t have to worry about getting home at stupid o’clock and this hotel was always your favourite.

‘It’s just Mason, what’s there to be worried about?’ You heard from the bathroom and when your best friend Betsy walked back out all dressed up you felt even worse because now you knew you couldn't back out even if you wanted to.

‘I know I know, it’s just… What if he doesn’t want to? Then the whole plan is ruined’ you told her as she took a seat next to you in order to put her shoes on and you knew she was about to be as persistent as usual.

‘Trust me, he will. You look hot and that boy will eat you up. Let’s head over early and get some drinks down you, yeah? I bet you’ll feel better about it with a bit of liquid courage’ she told you and all you could do was nod. ‘I’m just popping to the loo and we’ll head over okay?’

Whilst Betsy was gone you sent Mason a quick text, thinking if you did that you definitely couldn’t back out and not even a minute after you’d sent it he’d replied.

How you’d managed to get yourself into this situation, only you knew

Mason was a friend from school, but you liked to use the term friend lightly. You had a few classes together and whilst you were always polite to him you weren’t exactly besties, only really talking because your best friend at the time and his were dating on and off so you were around each other sometimes. Your parents also sort of knew each other too and sometimes you’d see him outside of school but apart from that he was like any other person you went to school with.

Except he had a big fat crush on you and everyone knew it.

It was the worst kept secret at school, but you ignored the heart eyes and longing looks he’d often send your way and pretend like you didn’t know. You knew he was getting stick for it and you actually found it admirable that he wasn’t backing down and denying his feelings but he wasn’t your type at all and you knew no matter how hard you tried you’d never feel the same for him.

How you’d both ended up in Manchester was a bit of a mystery. When you both lived at home, Manchester seemed like the furthest place away in the world yet here you were, Mason playing for man united and you, running your parents business so they could have an easy time back home.

You couldn’t deny they deserved it. Back when your dad was your age he opened up a record store in Portsmouth that was still going strong, however he soon transitioned from selling vinyls into making them. Opening up a factory in Manchester as it was cheaper than near you but they were able to manage from home and at one point he was the market leader. Things had slowed down when you were growing up as they fell out of fashion but now they were back on the rise and business was booming.

You knew why they’d put you in charge, them telling you it was because you were the eldest sibling so therefore the business was yours to take over but you knew that wasn’t the whole truth. Your younger sister Suzi was the one blessed with all the brains and therefore it would be 10x easier for her to get a job rather than a sixth form drop out like yourself.

You’d been fully in charge of the factory on your own for three years now after you’d spent a few years learning everything from your parents and whilst the business hadn’t grown at all, it also wasn't failing and you took that as a sign of a win. If you were completely honest with yourself, you knew why the business was the way it was and you knew it was your fault but at this moment in time it didn’t bother you too much. You were happy living away from everyone and getting to reinvent yourself whilst you spent your money that you probably didn’t deserve.

It probably didn’t help that you didn’t have much of a team helping you run things. You had an assistant named Flo who was basically running the business for you but your right hand woman was Betsy. You’d met her in a club toilet one night, bonding over the designer bag you had with you and by the end of the night you’d hired her. Betsy came from a well off family and had never had a job before so when you told her you were looking for some help she jumped at the chance to join you but you both knew with her around you wouldn’t be working.

She was much help at all, you spent more time having lunch and having ‘business meetings’ than actually doing what you were supposed to be but she was your best friend in Manchester and she was helping you live the life you’d always wanted.

It's not that you didn’t care, the company made you a lot of money to fund the life you wanted so it’s not like you were happy about the fact it was flat lining but you weren’t really in the mood to help fix the situation either. You knew you had to grow the business but that would cut into the time you spent with your friends so you just… didn’t.

Since moving here, you and Mason had grown a little closer. He was relentless sometimes, liking all your instagram posts and replying to your stories with the heart eyes emoji. You'd often see each other on nights out as you ran in the same circles, money always attracted money and everyone would comment on how love sick Mason seemed with you but you just brushed it off. Accepting the bottles of water he’d get you at the end of each party and letting him know you were fine to get back to your hotel safe when it was just you left. Most of his friends knew you’d known each other growing up and some of them were really trying hard to get you to give him a chance but you just didn’t have it in you. Your eyes only set on one man.

Ross was a music agent you’d met at an event around a year ago and after six months of putting the work in and trying to catch his eye, he agreed to take you out.

He was handsome and successful and everything you wanted in a guy. You both spent your time partying and wasting your money on silly things but he was yours and you were his. He was fun and exciting and seemed like the missing piece to your life up here. That was until earlier that week when he told you he didn’t see things going anywhere and that he wanted to end it. Following it up by spending that evening in a club with a load of random girls before posting pictures of himself with them draped all over him on his stories.

You found them the next morning after having spent the night in tears, a sticky and uncomfortable feeling migrating over your skin as you saw his hands on a girl's waist in one picture whilst they were on a different girl's bum in the next. You couldn’t face looking anymore and quickly shut your phone off but it didn’t stop the tears from silently streaming down your face as you hid your face in your pillow and tried to block the world out.

‘What am I gonna do, Betsy? My life is over’ you huffed later that day. Flopping down onto your bed next to her in hopes you’d get a bit of sympathy from her but her nose was stuck in her phone like usual. She’d invited herself over after you’d sent her the pictures but right now you wished you were on your own again.

‘You’re life isn’t over, stop being so dramatic’ she sighed but you didn’t have a chance to respond. Your phone buzzing by your side and you quickly sat up and opened it in hopes it was Ross messaging you to apologise.

‘Oh great, even bloody Mason’s messaging me now’ you huffed. Falling back again and covering your eyes with your arm but you could hear Betsy’s stupid laugh from next to you.

‘Oh no, not a hot footballer. Whatever will you do?’ She asked sarcastically and you knew she was rolling her eyes at you. ‘Of course he is, that boys like a love sick puppy when it comes to you’

‘Don’t remind me’ you grumbled. Not wanting to think about that right this second as Mason was the least of your worries.

‘You know you could always use that to your advantage’ Betsy told you. Turning on her side and moving your arm away from your eyes so you could look at each other but you didn’t understand the expression on her face.

‘What do you mean?’

‘What’s the one thing you could do that always had Ross running back to you?’ She asked but as hard as you tried, your mind was blank.

‘I don’t know’ you shrugged and she rolled her eyes at you playfully like it was obvious.

‘Oh come on girl. Another guy so much as looked your way and he couldn't take it’ she told you and you couldn’t help but agree. He barely let you look at another boy when you were out with him even if you were all out together. It was annoying sometimes but you just figured it was because he loved you so much and wanted you all for himself.

There was an odd look on Betsy’s face, a bit like she was scheming something and when you raised your eyebrows at her she sent you a devilish smile.

‘Why don’t you and Mason take a few cheeky pictures together and let Ross accidentally see them? He’d be yours again in no time I bet’ she suggested and her idea shocked you. Wondering if she was right and it would make Ross come running back but there was something about that just didn’t sit right with you.

‘When you say a few cheeky pictures? Do you mean …?’

‘You need to fuck him, babe’ she told you matter of factly and you couldn’t stop the frown that took over your face.

‘You think? That seems a bit harsh on Mason and won’t he think it’s weird if I’m suddenly all over him?‘

‘So butter him up a bit? He’s so hung up on you I bet he’d take whatever you gave him’ she told you nonchalantly and just like always you were starting to see her point of view. Mason was probably the easiest person to help you get Ross back and it’s like you were besties anyway so he shouldn’t be too upset.

‘He’ll probably be out with the boys at the weekend right?’ You questioned but Betsy just shrugged.

‘Text him back and ask. I bet he’ll be there if you are’ she reassured you and you quickly sat up in ordered to text him back.

‘He said he’ll come’ you told her, a wide but devious smile spreading over her face and you knew she was pleased with herself.

‘Told you it would be easy’

‘I don’t know Betsy, I might have to think about this’ you told her. Hearing her sigh behind you before shuffling down your bed to sit with you and when she placed her arm around you shoulder you rested your head on hers.

‘Babe, listen. You realise who this is right?’ She questioned but just shrugged. ‘Mason's a rich footballer with girls after him all the time. He’s probably got a whole list he can pick from and he’ll just be happy he got a chance with you. Don’t overthink it, yeah? I’m sure he’ll be over it and onto the next one quicker than you think’

‘Yeah?’

‘Of course. You know what these footballers are like he’s probably got a whole phone book of girls he can call up and no doubt he will be doing just that after you've slept with him. He’s just a boy at the end of the day and they’re all the same’

You knew Betsy was trying to downplay the situation to make it easier for you and whilst it was working to a certain extent you were still a little uncomfortable about it all. You’d never had a one night stand before let alone done it for payback so this felt like a whole new world to you.

You didn’t want to think about it too much more but you knew you had to go through with it if you wanted Ross back so you booked a hotel room like usual in hopes you could lure him back there and got to work on what you were going to say to him.

You knew it was only a few days later but time seemed to be faster than it ever had been and as soon as Betsy was out of the loo the pair of you went out for some pre drinks in the hotel bar before making your way over to the club you had arranged to meet him at.

You saw him straight away, standing with the boys over the back but you’d barely been inside for two minutes and you couldn’t help but notice the way he kept checking his phone. Wondering if he was checking in to see if you’d messaged him so after a quick once over and an final pep talk from Betsy you made your way over to him.

‘Hi Mason’ you smiled, tapping his shoulder so he’d look at you and when his eyes finally landed on your face you watched him flush under the dim light. His mouth slightly agape as he couldn’t quite find the words to say to you but you made the first move and pulled him in for a hug. The smell of his aftershave was seemingly the same one he’d worn when you were growing up and it was like you were instantly transported back to being 14 again. Your eyes pricking as a sense of home flooded you and your grip on him tightened a touch as this was the first proper hug you’d had from someone since the news broke. You didn’t realise how much you needed one and he squeezed you back just as tightly. ‘Thanks for coming’ you smiled as you pulled away. Noticing he looked more with it now but he was still blushing like a fool.

‘You all on your own? Where’s Buster or whatever her name is?’ Mason asked and you couldn’t help but laugh as you led him over to your little table and took a seat opposite him.

‘Betsy’ you smiled, watching him shrug like he wasn’t that bothered. ‘She’s around somewhere’

‘Fair enough. I’m surprised you wanted to see me’ he laughed awkwardly and you knew you had to turn the charm on a little bit to convince him you weren’t up to anything. Betsy’s words from earlier still fresh in your mind and as you looked back up at him you sent him a gentle smile In hopes he’d believe everything you were about to say.

‘Well it’s times like these you work out who your true friends are’ you told him. Implying that he was the only person to come forward in your hour of need and you could tell he was feeling pretty pleased with himself. ‘I know we don’t talk too much but you know I appreciate you right? Now more than ever. Maybe we can use this as a turning point?’

‘I’d like that’ he whispered, a grateful smile on his face as he was so happy that you finally wanted to give him some of your time and you couldn’t deny you thought he was being really cute. ‘But it’s okay, we’re both busy people and I know it’s not always possible to talk like we did when we were 13. Even though I’m still convinced you hated me back then’

‘I never hated you’ you giggled and this time you were telling the truth, you’d never hated Mason you just never took the time to work out if you could like him as you always had your focus on someone else. ‘I was just a moody teenager’

‘Oh yeah? What’s your excuse now?’ He teased, his tongue poking out the side of his lips as he raised his brows at you but it was the shit eating grin that let you know he was just joking.

‘Meanie’ you pouted but he was quick you place his hand on your bare knee and give it a squeeze. You didn’t give him a chance to pull away though as you seized your opportunity and placed your hand over his and threaded your fingers together. Looking up just in time to see him gulping heavily as he looked down at your conjoined hands and you knew then and there you had him right where you wanted him.

You sat with him for hours but it only felt like minutes, talking about everything from what you’d been up to lately to how much you missed home and how you hated that you couldn't see the sea from your office here like you could back in Portsmouth.

It was obvious he was really listening and was constantly asking you questions about yourself which you were more than happy to answer. Between Ross and Betsy you never got a word in sometimes and whenever you did talk you had the feeling it was going in one ear and out the other so it was nice to be sat and listened to for once. The night was soon coming to a close though and you knew you had to kick things up a notch in order to get him to agree to come back with you.

‘I’ve enjoyed this tonight’ you smiled up at him. More truth to your words than you even realised and as he nodded down at you, you shuffled a little closer into his body and placed a hand on his knee. ‘You know, I’m only staying across the road. Do you fancy coming back for a bit? We can have another drink and carry on… talking’ you all but purred into his ear. His body going stiff as you turned your body to face his and you could tell his eyes were dark with desire.

‘Oh? I don’t know-‘

‘Why not?’ You pouted. Running your fingers gently up his thigh to try and tease him and even in the dark you could see that his pupils had blown out. Eyes glued to yours as you gently caressed him but it was the way he was taking shallow breaths through his slightly agape mouth that let you know this was a lot for him.

‘I’m not sure’ he whispered. His voice scared like he knew what was about to happen but you knew it wouldn’t take much more to break him and make him come back to your room.

'I thought you knew me Mase.. and you know I always get what I want’ you told him. Walking your fingers up his chest until you reached his neck and you watched his eyes flutter shut as you scratched the back of his head gently as you pulled his face closer to yours. 'You're not gonna deny me what I want, are you?'

'No'

'So you'll come up to my room? And we can carry on... talking' You whispered. Lips ghosting his jaw before kissing just below his ear and from the way he was gripping your waist you knew the effect you were having on him.

'Okay'

'Good boy'

If the music hadn't been so loud you might have been able to hear the small whimper that left his lips at your words. All the breath from his lungs expelling at once as he tried to control himself but there was something about you that always had him wanting more.

‘Just let me say bye to the boys and we’ll go’

‘Meet back here in five?’ You questioned, and with a quick kiss to your cheek, you watched him disappear into the crowd.

‘That was impressive’ you suddenly heard behind you. Turning to see Betsy looking at you with a proud smile and you took a calming breath in her presence. Switching off the persona you’d had turned on whilst Mason was around and you were thankful to see her as you needed a pep talk. ‘I would say I can’t believe how well you’re playing him but I actually can. Like I knew he was in love with you but damn girl he’s obsessed’

‘Are you sure I’m doing the right thing?’ You gulped, nerves hitting you with full force but the determined look on her face perked you up a bit.

‘Of course you are’ she grinned. ‘You can’t back out now’

‘I’m just nervous’ you shrugged. ‘Maybe going the whole way isn’t necessary? If I get some pictures of us like close but not-‘

‘No no, that’s not the plan’ Betsy cut in, her brows drawn together in what looked like frustration. ‘Ross won’t care if you’re just pictured together. You need more, okay? Come on you’ve put most of the work in, now’s the fun part. Even if you don’t get pictures or whatever the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else’ she winked. ‘I know you can do this’

‘You’re right, I can’ you nodded. Clearing your mind of all your doubts and with a quick hug and a kiss goodbye Betsy was off. Leaving you to wait for Mason on your own but he wasn’t too far away. Making his way back to you with Luke by his side and you couldn’t miss the looks they were exchanging.

You’d known Luke for a few years now and you knew he’d taken up the big brother role when Mason had moved here. The pair of them clearly disagreeing about Mason leaving with you but Mason wasn’t going down without a fight. The pair of them eventually saying goodbye before Mason came back to you and when you reached out he took your hand instantly. Following behind you as you made your way outside and over to the hotel opposite.

You kept him close the whole way up to your room. Standing in front of him and wrapping his arm across your body in the lift so he was forced to cuddle you but when he caged you in with the other you knew he was game. Taking every chance he couldn’t be close to you by the looks of it and you knew you could use this to your advantage.

‘Make yourself comfortable, I’m just gonna get changed quickly. I feel like a sausage trapped in this dress’ you joked nervously and you finally entered your room. Wondering now you were in here if you could actually do it but as you set your phone down a new notification from Betsy flashed up on screen.

She was right, you did and all you needed was to put your brave face on to get into the mood and the rest would be easy. It’s not like you were sleeping with an ogre and even if this had no effect on Ross then at least you were about to have a bit of fun for the evening.

You stripped yourself down to your underwear, keeping your shoes on still as you propped yourself up on the side next to the sink and once you were happy with how your boobs looked in your bra you took a deep breath and put your game face on.

‘Hey Mase? You think you could come in here a sec?’ You called. Sitting back on your hands and pushing your chest out whilst crossing one leg over the other and as soon as he rounded inside to the bathroom his face was one of shock and awe.

‘W-what are you doing?’

‘I can’t get my shoes off, do you think you could help?’ You asked. Biting your lip seductively as you batted your lashes at him but he didn't need asking twice. Cautiously walking over as you extended your leg for him to hold and as soon as his fingers clasped around your ankle you felt a shiver roll through you.

He was so gentle and delicate as he held you. Carefully undoing the clasp and setting it on the floor so he could make a start on the other and you kept your eyes on his face the whole time. Watching his cheeks and the bridge of his nose flush while his tongue slipped from between his lips to concentrate on the task at hand.

Once he was done and had released your leg you were ready for phase two. Spreading your thighs and beckoning him over with your finger until he was positioned right up against you and you rested your hands on his strong chest as you sent him what you hoped was an alluring smile.

‘Thank you’

‘That’s okay’ he replied softly. Gripping your thighs gently as he looked down at you. ‘You need a hand down?’

‘Yes please’ you nodded. Letting him grip your waist as he gently picked you up and placed you on the floor but you were quick to turn and face the mirror so his crotch was now tightly nestled against your bum and the feel of him excited you. Hard against your soft skin but rather than step away his hands wrapped themselves around your waist as he hid his face in your neck.

‘Are you trying to give me a heart attack’

‘Not quite’ you chuckled, carefully reaching for your phone that was sat on the side and as he held you close and you quickly snapped your first picture of the night.

‘Hey Mase? There's a bottle of wine in the mini fridge, will you pour me a glass?’ You asked. Feeling him nod into your neck before he straightened up a bit and as he placed a quick kiss to your temple you felt your knees wobble slightly.

‘Okay’ he smiled, looking up at you in the mirror and you were ready to up the ante again.

‘Thank you brown eyes’ you whispered and you knew you’d got him as his face turned redder than you’d ever seen it before.

‘You better make sure you’ve got some more clothes on when you come back out’ he winked just before he left and as soon as he was out of sight you let out a breath. This was going better than planned and you were actually really enjoying being around him so you excitedly threw on an old baggy t-shirt you’d packed to sleep in and went in search of him again.

He wasn’t hard to spot, sat on the sofa at the end of your bed as he twiddled his thumbs and you noticed your glass of wine he’d poured you sat on the coffee table next to a bottle of water he’d opened.

‘You don’t want something a bit stronger?’

‘Best not, I’ll get killed if I get caught drinking loads’ he nodded and you sent him an understanding nod as you fell into the spot next to him.

‘Well if you change your mind you know where it is’ you smiled as you placed your hand on his knee and turned to him. ‘Now where were we?’

You fell back into conversation pretty easily, but you couldn’t stop your hands from wandering this time. Lightly tracing your fingers up and down his arm and you watched in delight as his skin became covered in goosebumps. His speech a little distracted and stuttery and you continued to brush against his skin and when you took the plunge to scratch over the back of his head you noticed his eyes flutter closed in delight.

You were surprised at how handsy he was in return to. He’d always come across as touchy when he was around other people and you’d noticed he was always grabbing peoples shoulders or patting their backs but with you he never pushed your boundaries. Seemingly with you making the moves on him though it was giving him the push to stroke your thighs and waist and you could see it in his eyes he wanted more of you but you knew he was still unsure of himself.

‘You seem nervous, Mase’ you teased. His eyes flashing up to yours for a brief moment before he looked away and shrugged his shoulders.

‘I’m fine’

‘You sure? I can get you another drink, our secret?’ You teased before you put the idea of something more on the table for him to see how he reacted. ‘Or you know I can always… relax you In other ways’

‘Oh um-‘

‘You know, you’re cute when you’re scared’ you winked, watching his face and the back of his neck flush and when you flicked his nose lightly he looked at you in a mix of fright and awe.

You knew he wasn’t about to brush everything off and give you what you wanted, you knew it was you that had to initiate whatever was about to happen and you figured now would be the perfect time. Flinging your leg across his lap so you could straddle his thighs but his hands on your hips as he steadied you made your inside swirl.

You weren’t sure where to start but it was hard not to touch him. You could tell just from the way his clothes sat on him that his body was insane and you’d been aching for a peek of him upclose ever since he’d held you in the bathroom so you went bulldozing in knowing he wouldn't stop you. Running your hands up his chest to his neck before dipping your hands into his open shirt so you could push it from his shoulders and the sight and feel of him sent a tingle through you in a way no one else had.

‘Where have you been hiding these bad boys’ you smiled. Fingers trailing over his toned biceps before you lent forward. Your lips landing on his collarbone so you could kiss inwards until you reached the base of his throat and lick a stripe up his neck but you weren’t expecting his voice to sound as hoarse as it did when he spoke next l.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Just exploring a little, you don’t mind do you?’ You murmured as you kissed the length of his neck but you could tell by the way he was holding you tightly that he didn’t at all.

‘N-no I don’t’ he sighed, sounding like he was in bliss and all you wanted was to hear what other noises he could make but soon enough you felt his nose nudge the side of your head and you were looking up into his blown out eyes. ‘Are you sure about this’

‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

‘Well Ross-‘

‘Is nothing to me. I don’t care about him or what he’s doing or anything. We’ve been over for a while and I’m just over the whole thing I swear. I just wanna let loose a bit and I was hoping you’d be up for joining me’ you confirmed and the slight smile on his lips filled you with confidence.

‘Okay’ he whispered sweetly. ‘I just don’t want you to regret anything’

‘Mason, what can I do to make you stop worrying?’ You asked, gently gripping his hands so you could move them to rest on your bum and when he gave your cheeks a soft squeeze you felt your eyes roll back in your head. ‘How about I just keep going, yeah?’ You offered. Reaching for his shirt so you could remove it fully and once he was sat in just his vest you couldn't wait to get the rest off of him. ‘You smell so good’ you murmured and you attached your lips back to his neck, feeling his hands go straight back to your bum.

As much as you wanted to kiss him, you kept your lips on his neck as he seemed to be enjoying what you were doing. Licking and kissing his skin before sucking gently at the base of his neck and you knew you had him just where you wanted him.

‘You want me to be a bad girl? Or a good girl’ you whispered as you kissed your way back up his neck and you knew instantly what he wanted he wanted from the way he groaned in your ear. ‘Ah, good girl it is’

‘Go lay down’ he told you as he pulled you away from him. His voice gentle but firm at the same time and as you felt a thrill run through you as he squeezed your bum. Mason was always so kind and sweet with you so to see him switch up like this a little bit was exciting and the fact he wasn’t telling you no made you giggle.

You did what he said and let him help you up but before you went any further you stripped yourself of the t-shirt you were wearing so you were back in just the underwear from before and you knew he was watching your every move until you were out of sight.

It took him a second to come and join you. His shoulders tense and it looked as though he was giving himself a mental pep talk before he stood up and joined you. His knee resting on the end of the bed as he looked in your eyes and you knew he was getting ready to climb up with you.

‘You wanna be a good girl for me, huh?’ He questioned. His eyes trailing over your exposed skin and it only really hit you then that he was still basically fully clothed apart from the open shirt you’d removed from him earlier. The belted trousers accentuating his little waist and all you could think about was undoing it and ridding him of everything he had on.

‘For now, yes’ you told him, watching him shake his head as he giggled. A sense of triumph washing over you that you’d made him laugh but soon enough he had his game face back on and he tapped one of your ankles.

‘Well good girls, they don’t talk back’ he told you, gently moving your legs apart so he could kneel in between them and you made sure to mime zipping your lips shut and throwing away the key which he appeared to be amused by. You didn’t miss the way his eyes were still exploring you though and as he placed his hands by your ribs and hovered himself directly over you it was like you could feel the air thicken instantly. Reaching out to place your hands on his broad shoulders but he just tutted and shook his head as he caught on to what you were about to do.

‘Nuh uh, good girls ask for permission’ he whispered and your spine tingled in anticipation. You’d barely gotten started and Mason was already making you feel like you couldn’t take anymore, a whole new side of him that you’d never seen and you couldn’t deny you were excited by it.

‘Can I touch you?’ You asked quietly and the subtle nod of his head was all you needed to reach out and run your fingers over his arms as he hovered himself down a bit further and began to kiss your cheek and along to your ear. Each press of his lips made you throb and when he began to trail his lips even further down you ran your fingers through his hair to hold him in place as you began to wrap your legs around him.

‘Good girls also say please and thank you’ he mumbled against your neck and soon enough his eyes were locked on yours as his face hovered directly above you again. ‘So what do you say?’

‘Please’

‘Please what?’ He demanded, bumping his nose with yours softly and you could barely catch your breath.

‘Please fuck me, Mase’ you whimpered, sounding more desperate that you intended too but he’d managed to work you up in such a short space of time it’s like you’d lost all control of yourself. It seemed to have the desired effect though as his dark eyes rolled back in his head and you knew he was feeling exactly the same until his face returned to how it had been all night.

‘Soon okay? I wanna play with you first‘ he murmured and the groan that left your lips was unholy.

‘M-Mase? Can I have a kiss first?’ You asked shyly. Suddenly feeling a little unsure of yourself but as his face softened you knew you were fine. Watching him get comfortable next to you so he could hover slightly beside you as he brushed the hair out of your eyes but before he was leaning in you knew he was about to ask you that dreaded question again.

‘You sure this is what you want?’

‘I couldn’t be more sure. Please just kiss me’ you told him. Your voice determined as you really couldn’t take another second without his lips on yours but he didn’t need telling again. Dipping his head slowly to drop a soft kiss to your lips but you didn’t give him a chance to pull away too far. Your hand on the back of his head as your fingers got lost in his hair so you could pull him back down and as he moaned into your mouth you had to stop yourself from doing the same.

It was obvious from the way he was kissing you he’d been waiting a while for this. His focus just on you as he cupped your jaw but there was no way you were moving away from him as he kissed better than you imagined. He kissed better than anyone had ever kissed you and when his tongue dipped past your lips it was you that finally gave in and was moaning this time. Feeling his hand mov from your jaw to lightly trace over your body and as his fingers danced over your underwear you felt your hips buck up at the sensation.

He was so confident. No awkward pauses or laughter as he tried to figure you out, it was like he knew your body already and as his fingers began to trace circles over the front of your underwear you couldn’t help but groan into his mouth. Letting him bite your lip playfully as his fingers dipped below the fabric and the first touch of his fingers directly on you made you shiver.

That was all it took for his lips to leave yours but you felt them again soon against your cheek and then your jaw and then your neck. His lips traveling over every inch of you until you felt the playful pinch on his teeth on your chest and you both began to giggle.

You knew where he was going, his lips continuing their pilgrimage of your skin until he was kissing over the front of your underwear and you knew you were in for a good time just from the way he looked up at you through his lashes.

‘What the hell is this?’ You heard him laugh. Sitting up on your elbows so you could look at what he was referring to but as soon as you felt his finger brush over the two little words you couldn’t help but smile.

‘A moment of madness’ you groaned. Flopping back onto the bed as you covered your face with your hands and laughed at how stupid you’d been. ‘Most people dye their hair after a break up, I was convinced a tattoo was the right way to go for some reason’

‘Well it’s very cute’ he laughed, fingertips gently tracing the words Hey There that you’d had tattooed on your right hip just below your bikini line. ‘Does this make me the first person to see it?’

‘It does’

‘Well then, I better make sure I’m the last too’ he murdered against your skin. His lips kissing over the letters softly and you didn’t have any time to take in what he’d said as his hands were pulling your underwear off and pushing your thighs up to your chest so he had full access to you

His grip was strong, so much so you knew you'd have print marks from his fingers tomorrow but right now you didn't care. Bucking your hips up as he kissed over the backs of your thighs to tease you a little and you knew he was waiting for you to ask for what you wanted.

'Masey please, please do something'

'What do you want me to do?' He murmured. A smile in his voice that was easily detectable and you knew he was loving every second of this.

"You know what'

'Yeah I do' he chuckled, almost sounding cocky as if he was telling you he knew just how to make you crumble and from the first flick of his tongue you knew he was right. Melting into sheets as he licked and sucked away at you like he'd done this to you a million times before and all thoughts of anything you were meant to be doing that night vanished from your mind immediately.

Your hands were fisting the sheets as you had no idea what to do with them but soon enough they were in his hair and you knew he liked it because he growled into your skin and you sighed at the new sensation. He was doing everything just how you like with no direction from you. Slow and steady to work you up until you were a quivering mess and it felt so good you forgot about what you were meant to be doing entirely. Only remembering when you looked down to see his pretty brown eyes looking back at you but as he looked away to focus back on you, you sneakily grabbed your phone to take a few blurry snaps.

You were seeing stars soon enough as he brought you to your high. Never changing his speed to try and get you there any quicker as he knew you were feeling good with what he was currently doing and as soon as it hit, his name was falling off your tongue like a prayer.

You could see him through your tired eyes getting undressed but you could detect a hint of uncertainty around him and you knew he wasn’t sure if you wanted to go the whole hog. You’d been nervous in the day thinking about it but after the display he’d just put on for you there was nothing more you wanted so you sat up carefully to remove your bra so you were completely bare for him. Not even caring about what pictures you needed to take as right now all you wanted was to enjoy him.

‘You gonna stand there all night or do you want some help?’ You asked. Your eyes flickering all over his body that was now only covered by his boxers and when he took a big gulp you knew he needed a push.

You waited until he sent you a nod before you began pulling his boxers down. You’re mouth watering as he sprung free but you could tell he was still nervous so you held his waist and began to pepper kisses over his abs and lower stomach until he was pulling away from you and nodding for you to shuffle back on the bed with a smile.

As soon as your head hit the pillow you felt his chest on yours. A faint taste of yourself on his tongue as he kissed you and as you wrapped your legs around his waist his warm skin enveloped you. He was so soft and smooth but hard and solid at the same time and as he began to grind himself down on you, you wanted to feel him inside you.

It was you that reached down to grab a hold of him, to guide him to where you needed him and without much resistance he was pushing himself inside of you. Gasping into each other's mouths as you both got accustomed to the feel of the other and as he picked up his pace you couldn’t help but drag your nails down his back.

It wasn’t long before you wanted to switch things up a bit. To watch him crumble under you as you took control and when you pushed on his shoulders he was quick to roll over and lay on his back.

‘What are you doing?’ He laughed, helping you climb on top so you could take over and when you sent him a wink he scrunched his face up adorably.

‘I can’t be good all the time Mase’ you shrugged and even though you were ready to get going again you took a moment to grind yourself along him as he guided your hips with a devious smile.

‘You feel that, yeah?’ He whispered, his grip firm once more but it was only adding to the experience and you whimpered at the feel of gliding along him. ‘You have no idea what you do to me, do you?’

‘I have a good guess’ you groaned, finally reaching down to guide him back inside and even though you started slow you were desperate to show Mason a good time after how he’d treated you all night. Bouncing up and down on him like your life depended on it but even though his eyes were rolling in the back of his head he was quick to stop you.

‘Hey, hey baby it’s okay. Take your time, yeah?’’ he managed to get out as his hands stilled your hips. Stopping you in your tracks as you looked down into his eyes but all you could see was warmth and when he sent you an affectionate smile your skin broke out in goosebumps. ‘It’s all about you tonight, yeah? So you just let it out for me when you’re ready, you don’t have to rush anything’

His voice was soft and soothing, a million miles away from how you thought it would be as the pair of you had been at it so intensely the room could have been on fire and you wouldn’t have noticed but it washed over you delicately and made you feel safe.

‘But I want you to cum. I want to make you feel good like you did to me’

‘Listen, sweetheart’ he whispered. Sitting up slightly so he could reposition you a bit and you went with him as he sat up against the headboard, resting his chin on your chest so he could look up at you through his lashes you almost lost it as he looked so good. Not something you ever thought you’d be thinking about Mason of all people yet here you were looking down and his big brown eyes and freckled nose thinking he was one of the most beautiful things you’d ever seen. This wasn’t how you expected tonight to be but you were so caught up in all of him you didn’t know how to act anymore and you hung on his every word. ‘I will, trust me. Watching you is all I need so just forget about me for a second and focus on you’

‘All we’ve done is focus on me’

‘Exactly’ he teased, squeezing your waist gently and the action made you squirm as you giggled but you could see Mason's face change as you moved on top of him. ‘So be my good girl and take your time. I promise I’m right behind you’

You couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. Not one other person you’d ever had sex with before had treated you like this and cared for in this way. It was making you feel so many different emotions and by now you’d completely forgotten the whole reason as to why he was here in your hotel room in the first place.

So you did what he asked, and you rested your hands on his chest, dangerously close to his neck, and placed your forehead on his before starting to move your hips again but slowly just like he’d requested. Feeling him slide in and out of you as he gripped your bum and moaned audibly into your mouth.

‘You like that?’ You whispered, a teasing tone to your voice but Mason just nodded. Not caring how desperate he may have been coming across.

‘F-fuck yeah, I’ve imagined this with you so many times but it’s never felt this good’ he told you and you couldn’t help but groan as you bit your lip. Wanting to tease him a bit more in hopes he’d tell you how he feels some more and since he was in this position under you, you figured you had a good chance.

‘Oh yeah, you been thinking about me?’

‘All the time’ he gulped. His voice hoarse now as you slowly pushed each other to the finish line but were stuck between savouring the moment and finally making him cum but you just went with the flow and circled your hips over him as he guided your hips with his strong hands.

‘I hope I’m as good as you imagined’

‘You’re even better’ he praised lowly. A soft smile on his lips as his eyes flickered all over your face. ‘So fucking perfect, always have been’

It wasn’t long after that you were cuming for the second time that night. Mason's lips on your neck so he could suck your skin softly before he was gently biting your shoulder as he finally hit his own high and as soon as you were both finished you felt yourself slump forward as he wrapped his arms around you.

‘You okay?’ He whispered, his fingers lightly running up and down your spine as you tried to catch your breath. Moving them down to your thighs as he massaged them gently and you could feel yourself melting onto him.

‘I’m good’ you smiled. Feeling him chuckle underneath you, kissing the side of your head sporadically and you’d never felt so content in your life. ‘I need to go and get cleaned up but I’m too comfortable here’

‘Come on, let me help you’ he whispered but you just groaned playfully in annoyance. Not wanting to move from his arms and when he kissed your forehead lightly you nuzzled into his neck. ‘You sure you’re still okay? you know with everything we’ve done’

‘More than okay’ you whispered, sitting up slightly so you could look at him and without thinking you leaned in to kiss him softly. You didn’t take it any further but he was so gentle with you as he squeezed your thighs and kissed you as sweetly as he could. ‘Thank you’ you whispered as you pulled apart but he was looking up a you with a confused expression.

‘What for?’

‘I thought good girl’s say please and thank you’ you winked but he just laughed as he squeezed you again.

‘I don’t think you’re up for being a good girl, you’re too naughty’

‘Well then I think I need a timeout’ you winked as you began to shuffle off of him. ‘I won’t be long, okay? Keep my space warm’ you told him and with that you were quick to run off into the bathroom.

You didn’t want to be too long, hoping that he might be up for round two shortly but you sent Betsy a quick message to let her know you had what you needed so she wasn’t harassing you for the rest of the night, but when you returned to the bedroom he was nowhere to be seen.

‘Mase? Where are you, you were meant to be keeping my space warm’ you called playfully. Grabbing the shirt you’d been wearing off the floor and throwing it on so you weren’t walking around with nothing on and when you turned the corner and looked in the living room you could see him getting dressed in a rush. ‘Mase? What are you doing?’

When he ignored you and continued getting dressed with a huff you felt your stomach drop to the floor, not knowing what to say or what was going on but you pressed him again so you could get to the bottom of what was happening. ‘Mason? What’s going on?’

‘Maybe you should double check who you think you’re messaging before you press send’ he spoke. Not even looking at you as he stuffed himself into his shoes and your blood ran cold at the thought of what you might have done. Quickly opening up your phone to look at the last message you sent and when you realised it had gone to Mason you felt frozen to the spot.

‘Look, Mase-‘

‘Have you seriously been taking pictures of me? Of us, to send to him to make him jealous. Is that really all I’m good for? I know you know how I feel, fuck everyone knows, but I’ve always brushed it off and gone with it cause I thought you were worth the teasing’

‘But I-‘

‘I’m not dumb alright? I knew what this was’ he cut you off. Clearly furious at you about everything but you didn’t know how to react so you let him go on his little rant. ‘I knew I was just the rebound to make you feel better but I’m so hopelessly wrapped around your fucking finger I thought I’d just take my shot’

‘Well that’s not my fault’ you told him. Wishing he would calm down a bit but you could tell from the way he was getting dressed with such vigour that he was still furious.

‘No you’re right, it’s not. But thank you very much for proving to me what everyone’s said about you all along’ he laughed but you knew there was no humour in it. ‘And don’t worry, any feelings I did have for you are long gone I promise’

‘What are people saying about me?’

‘That you’re a heartless, manipulative cow who does whatever she likes to get what she wants and the fact all you took from what I said just then was about you proves it’ he spat. The coldness of his voice sending an uncomfortable shiver down your spine and you were pretty certain you’d never heard him speak like this before to anyone.

‘Mason you’re overreacting, it was just a joke’ you tried but little did you know it would just anger him more. Making him stop in his tracks so he could send you an incredulous look.

‘So now I’m a joke?’

‘No, I meant like a bit of fun’ you shrugged. Hoping he would get where you were coming from but every word that came out of your mouth seemed to wind him up even further.

‘For you maybe, not for me’ he grumbled. Looking around for his keys as he was now fully dressed and once his eyes landed on them he picked them up forcefully. ‘Doesn’t matter anyway, I’m done. That fact you don’t get how fucked up this is tells me everything’

‘If you knew what this was then why are you so mad?’ You asked. His anger now rubbing you up the wrong way as you couldn’t understand why he was so upset with you but you getting annoyed at him didn’t have the desired effect and when his sad eyes locked onto yours it was like he knocked the wind out of you.

‘Cause I could deal with a one night stand, at least I could kid myself into thinking you might like me in some way. But this?’ He asked. Voice thick like he was about to start sobbing but you saw him swallow it down before looking away from you. ‘You don’t give a shit about me more than I thought. Fourteen years I’ve known you. And for what? Fuck all apparently’

‘Mason you need to calm down-‘

‘Calm down?’ He snapped and you felt yourself shrink. ‘You fucking lied right to my face, told me this could be a turning point for us but you knew the whole time it meant nothing. Lying may not mean anything to you but it does to me’

‘People in our circle lie and do what they have to to get what they want, I thought you knew that’ you pushed back, knowing that what you were saying was awful but you were clutching at straws to make out what you’d done wasn’t as bad as he was making out. ‘Since when do you care about me that much?’

‘Since always, you idiot’ be mumbled. His voice calmer than you’d heard it this whole time but it seemed to shock you a bit. His sad eyes and distraught expression were trying their best to tear you down but you held strong. You’d got what you wanted and there was no need for all these emotions. ‘I would have given you fucking everything’ he told you, emotion laced through his voice and you tried not to let it get it to you but instinctively you moved forward but he backed away. ‘Just leave me alone’ he huffed, walking around past you to the door and when you heard it slam you let out another big sigh. Walking back to the bedroom and flopping down to the bed before unlocking your phone to speak to the one person you knew would be on your side.

Sleep didn’t come easy to you that night. Taking a quick shower and changing into your pjs so you could get some shut eye but all you could see was the heartbroken expression on Mason's face.

You tried to forget about him, to ignore the twisting in your gut at how awful you were starting to feel and tried to focus on what you were going to say to Ross to not sound like a complete crazy person when you sent him the pictures but you couldn’t face it right now. Those damn brown eyes looking back at you everywhere you turned.

Two weeks passed by and nothing changed. In fact you felt worse with each day that went by and as much as Betsy was in your ear telling you you’d done the right thing and to just send the pictures, but you kept them to yourself for now. At this point you weren't even sure you wanted to be with Ross anymore as one night with Mason has made you see exactly what you were missing out on and the fact Ross was still posting stories of himself with girls throwing themselves at him was giving you the ick.

When you were in a funk like this there was only one thing that could get you out of it. A trip to the beach usually cleared the cobwebs away but there was only one beach you wanted to be on and you weren’t sure if it was possible right now.

You always missed home but right now you really missed home. You missed your mum's hugs and comforting words and your dads amazing cooking and stupid jokes but you knew if you made the trip they’d pick up that something was wrong straight away and you knew you couldn’t confess to them what you’d done.

You were halfway through week three when you broke down and messaged your mum. You were desperate to get out of Manchester for a few days and away from Betsy’s constant nagging about Ross and Mason as every time you heard the laters name your tummy would twist and the guilt was eating you alive. You knew Betsy could see it was upsetting you too but she still carried on with you no matter how much you asked her to stop.

You left work at lunch on Friday without another word to Betsy. She’d left around 11am anyway for an appointment so as soon as the clock hit half 12 you were jumping straight in your car so you could get on the road. Thankfully the traffic was light and you made it in good time with only one stop on the way as you were so anxious to get there.

You were emotional as soon as you saw the Welcome to Portsmouth sign on the way in and when you were pulling onto the drive you were barely holding it together. You hadn't told your family about the break up with Ross yet so you were hoping you could pin your emotions on that but you knew that wasn’t why you were so upset. Mason had been weighing heavy on your mind all week and everywhere you looked he was creeping into your thoughts. You just needed a break from feeling like the worst human in the world and you were hoping some home comforts would cure you.

Your mum was the first one to answer the door, bundling you into her arms and it took every ounce of your strength to hold it together as she swayed you from side to side. Telling you how much she missed you and how excited she was to have you there and before you knew it your dad was there too to wrap his arms around the both of you.

‘Dinner won’t be long, why don't you pop your suitcase in your room and grab Suzi whilst you're up there’ you mum told you and felt your body go stiff.

‘Suzi? I didn’t know she’d be here’ you mumbled but she just sent you a wide and excited smile.

‘Yeah, neither did we’ she laughed. ‘But it’s nice to have you both back for the weekend’

You could see why she would think that, both of her babies back together for some quality family time but you hadn't spoken to her in months and now you just felt awkward about everything.

You did as she asked though, knocking on her door and giving her a small wave as she looked over at you with a bright expression before she jumped up to give you a small hug.

‘Sorry for gate crashing, you remember Annie don’t you? Well it’s her engagement party tomorrow in town and I didn’t want to miss it’ she explained but you just nodded as the pair of you made your way to the stairs. You knew you should have said more, asked how she’d been and tried to make small talk but you mind was blank and you didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

Dinner was still being plated up so your mum ushered you both outside to sit at the garden table so you could all eat in the sun. Your eyes trained on the kitchen window in hopes they weren’t too long but before you knew it Suzi had started the conversation as she was the master of it.

You knew she meant well, but you weren’t in the mood for 21 questions and by the 5th you figured she realised. Taking over from asking to just telling you what she’d been up to and in comparison to you she was living the high life. She’d only graduated around six months ago yet she’d managed to find herself a great paying job in one of the best law firms in the country, telling you she was nearing her first promotion already and soon enough she’d be able to move out of her flat share and into her own two bed flat on the outskirts of London.

You knew she wasn’t bragging, she never was, but the fact you knew in soul you’d never be able to achieve even half of what she had on your own stung so when your parents finally made their way outside you couldn’t deny you were grateful.

You relaxed as the evening went on, joining in with the conversation much to everyone’s delight but you all decided on an early night as you’d spent so much time travelling and you all wanted to be up early for the beach tomorrow.

Once again you couldn’t sleep, this time it wasn’t just thoughts of Mason keeping you up but now it was also your tummy rumbling as you tossed and turned. The only thought in your head was the leftovers in the fridge and before you knew it you were up and sneaking downstairs to grab yourself some.

You were trying to be as quiet as you could but you could see a dim light coming from the kitchen and you figured it had been kept on accidently. Heading straight for the fridge with only one thing on your mind but you had to contain your screams as you rounded the corner and were shocked out of your skin.

There sat Suzi, chowing down on a bowl of cereal by the light of the fridge and she smiled as you jumped six feet in the air at the sight of her.

‘What are you doing?’ You whisper shouted, clutching your chest as your heart threatened to burst free. You could see she was trying not to laugh at you and as much as you tried to remain stoney faced you knew you wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation yourself.

‘I needed something to eat’ she told you, nodding down to her little pile of snacks in front of her like it was supposed to be obvious.

‘I’ll come back in a bit then’ you nodded, turning on your heel to leave her to it but you didn’t get far as she was calling after you before you’d taken your first step.

‘Wait don’t go’ she yelped and when you turned back to face her you could tell she seemed a bit sad. ‘Look I know things are different but surely we can sit and eat together on our own’ she told you and you realised how ridiculous you must have looked.

‘Okay’ you nodded, realising she was right and you were just being silly. She was your sister after all not some random stranger off the street so you grabbed the leftovers you were after and heated them up in the microwave before taking a seat opposite her.

‘So how have you been?’ She asked, a slight smile behind her voice almost as if she knew how she sounded and you did your best to hide your grin as you shrugged.

‘Fine’

‘Yeah alright’ she scoffed, shovelling in another spoonful of cereal into her mouth as she rolled her eyes.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘I know we may not be close anymore but it’s as clear as day you’re not yourself’ She told you softly, her eyes gentle now as she tried to get you to open up. ‘You can tell me, you know’ she prodded but as you weren’t taking the bait she decided to take a different route. ‘How’s Ross?’

‘Um… we’re not-‘

‘Oh crap, I’m so sorry. I had no idea’ she cut you off but you noticed you didn’t get the usual pang in your chest talking about him like you had done in the beginning.

‘It’s alright’ you smiled. ‘It’s probably for the best’

‘He was a bit of a dick’ she laughed and you couldn’t help but smile along with her before her face got serious once more. ‘Is that why you’re so upset? Cause he’s really not worth any feelings for. You’re so out of his league’

‘No I think I’m kinda over it now’

‘So what’s up then?’ She questioned and you were about to shrug her off until you realised you could probably use her advice. She was younger than you but had such an old head on her shoulders and you didn’t really have another girl in your life like this to get advice from so after a quick deep breath you tried to think of a way to tell her what was going on without telling her everything.

‘You remember Betsy?’ You asked. Her face immediately turning sour and you knew she remembered her from one of your parties last summer.

‘Unfortunately’

‘Yeah well, I don’t think she’s all she’s cracked up to be either’ you told her quietly, your head dropping as you pushed your food around with your fork

‘I could have told you that months ago’ she teased before her voice suddenly dropped an octave and became more gentle. ‘What’s happened, have you fallen out?’

‘Not exactly, she doesn’t even know I feel like this’ you shrugged and now you were talking about it, it was like word vomit coming out of your mouth that you couldn’t stop. ‘I’ve realised I don’t like who I am when I’m with her’ you admitted. ‘I’m not putting all the blame on her but looking back at the last year and a half or so, I barely recognise myself. I’ve done some awful things and it’s like why am I being such an arsehole?’

‘What have you done? Are you In trouble?’ She asked and even though you were spilling the beans there was no way you were admitting to what you’d done to Mason.

‘No no, it’s nothing’ you coughed, hoping she’d believe your lies. ‘I just feel so disconnected to everything at the moment’

‘Is that why you’re here?’

‘A little bit. I just needed a break from up there’ you shrugged and you could feel the tears pooling in your eyes that you were so desperately trying to blink away. You’d never been so vulnerable in front of her before and clearly she was taking pity on you as her voice softened when she spoke to you.

‘You don’t have to tell me I’m right, but I know why you're not my biggest fan’ Suzi started and you looked up to find her looking back at you sympatheticly. ‘I should have been a better sister though and been there for you over the years. I just didn’t want to keep getting pushed away you know?’

‘No don't, I should have been a better big sister’ you gulped. ‘It's just jealousy at the end of the day. You can literally do anything you want and I’ve only got this job cause they knew I’d never be able to do anything else’

‘Hey no, don’t say that. They would never have given it to you if they didn’t think you could make it a success. That’s their whole life you should be so proud that they would trust you with it’

‘Well a fat lot of good I’m doing with it’ you huffed. ‘Sorry I didn’t mean to turn this into a pity party’

‘It’s okay’ she smiled before reaching her hand over to your side of the table. ‘How about we start fresh? I could come and stay with you for a bit maybe? You can show me around Manchester and maybe we can do something for your birthday together?’

‘Betsy organised me a party I think’ you told her and you watched her face fall, thinking you were brushing her off and you felt awful instantly as she began to withdraw her hand so you quickly grabbed it and squeezed it tightly. ‘But I’d love it if you would come

‘Consider me there’ she nodded and you felt a weight lift from your shoulders that you didn’t know you’d been carrying.

You were up and out bright and early the next day so you could all head to the beach. Your parents eyeing you and Suzie curiously as to them it seemed as if you’d turned into besties overnight but you could tell they were happy about it, and when Suzie dragged you down into the cold water you just went with it and dove right in.

You used to love the sea, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore calming you like nothing else and even though the water was freezing cold, there was nowhere else you wanted to be rather than here. Floating on your back so you could look up to the sky and clear your mind just how you’d been picturing for weeks but it only lasted so long as your dad had come to join you and belly flopped in right by you so water splashed all over you.

It was needed though and as the four of you sat on the beach and gossiped like you used to you felt even lighter. All the troubles you’d left in Manchester seemed so far away now and it was all helping you gain a much clearer perspective on it all to the point where when you got back, you knew you needed to take things into your own hands and sort your life out.

It was the evening when things took a turn for the worst. Suzie was out for her friend's engagement party which you’d helped her get ready for and you were staying up to pick her up later so you’d taken a nap just before dinner. When you eventually came down though there was no food in sight and your parents were sitting in the kitchen with their laptops open and you knew they meant business.

‘Is everything okay?’ You asked carefully, praying this wasn’t what you thought it might be but you could tell this wasn’t about to be fun for you.

‘I think it’s best you sit down, so we can talk’ your dad said. Patting the space next to him that was opposite your mum and you hated the way she was sending you such a sad smile.

‘We need to talk about work’

‘Oh?’ You replied, trying to make out like you didn’t know what they were about to say but you’d been waiting for this chat for months.

‘Look love, this isn’t easy for us to say but we have to put the needs of the business first and you know it’s not going well right now don’t you?’ your mum told you gently and you felt your face burn.

‘I know’ you sniffed, your mind reeling with all the possibilities of what they could say to you and what you should say back but right now you felt like you were on the verge of being fired.

‘We don’t want to interfere or take anything away from you, we’re just asking for a bit more effort, okay? We can’t keep floating by like this’ you dad told you, tapping your knee lightly as he was trying to comfort you but if anything it was just making you more sad.

They were being nicer than you expected them to be, but when every single part of your life was falling apart, this felt like a huge deal.

‘It’s okay to admit if you need help too, pumpkin. We can always come up for a bit and help you out if you need it’ your mum offered and her sweet tone was enough to push you over the edge as you hid your face in your hands.

‘I’m sorry’ you blubbed, hating the fact they were being so kind after practically abusing everything this worked for and you knew it was the time to step up. Uncovering your face as you looked at their sympathetic expressions. ‘I know I’ve been rubbish but I promise I can do this’ you told them but you were sure if they believed you. ‘I tell you what, give me three months and if I haven’t put us in the green then you can come up and help me’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I promise, please just give me a chance’ you begged and even though they both looked unsure it was your dad who finally nodded.

‘Three months okay? And then we’ll see where we are and what to do next’ your dad told you and you felt relief roll through you. You knew you could do it with a little help from your assistant Flo, she had good ideas but you’d never had the need to put them to any use until now and you made a mental note to put a meeting in with her first thing on Monday.

Once your dad had gone to bed later that night, your mum came and found you. Asking if there was anything else you’d wanted to talk about as she’d noticed your change in demeanour and that was all it took for you to start crying again. Telling her about Ross and how you felt like a failure a lot of the time but she was quick to big you up. Letting you know that life was full of ups and downs and even though this felt like the end of the world you’d be on the up soon.

Once she was gone you had a little more time to kill before you had to go and get Suzi. Your phone was boring you though and just like always when you didn’t know what you wanted to look at you ended up in your photos, scrolling until you hit a certain few and heart thumped as you looked at them.

One last look you told yourself. You’d known from the day after you’d taken them that you wouldn’t be sending them anywhere but you’d kept them just to relive that night sometimes. To remember how he’d held you and kissed you and made you feel better than anything else until your stupidness had ruined everything. You knew you needed to get rid of them though so with one last glance you selected each one from that night and got rid of them all in one go before deleting them from your recently deleted to make sure they were completely gone.

You went home the next day feeling a lot lighter than when you’d arrived and thankfully when you went to work on Monday Betsy had taken the morning off, leaving you and Flo to have a meeting to discuss some of her ideas and plan for the next few weeks. She was more than excited to get going and you were so impressed by her ideas as they were simple and smart and you knew you’d see results straight away.

The pair of you kept chugging along whilst Betsy was left to her own devices. Never once questioning what you were doing which just proved to you how little notice she took at work but you were ready for a break and to lose after a week or so and you used the excuse of Suzi being around to keep your distance from Betsy. Not that the pair of you had spoken too much since that night with Mason but she was constantly texting you to ask if you’d sent the pictures to Ross yet and you were running out of excuses as to why you hadn't.

Suzi stuck to her promise and came to visit for your birthday. It gave you a great excuse to not see Betsy in the build up to your party and a few days before the pair of you went out shopping for outfits. Usually you wouldn’t have left it this late but not being in the mood to be celebrating anything meant you’d not even thought about what to wear.

The pair of you headed to selfridges to have a browse but nothing was taking your fancy. In the end you split up to cover more ground and told each other to pick three things for the other person as you clearly weren’t having much luck for yourself.

You were two dresses down and looking for the third when you heard his laugh, turning a corner to see Suzi and Mason talking animatedly with big grins on their faces and you wanted the ground to swallow you up. This was the first time you’d seen him since he’d walked out of your hotel room and it was like a punch to the gut seeing him smile and chat with her. Suzi was a yapper and they knew each other pretty well from home but you knew they hadn’t spoken lately and that’s why they seemed so excited to see each other.

‘Oh here she is’ you suddenly heard, your eyes flashing up to the pair of them as Suzie was still smiling wildly but Mason had gone red in the face and you knew you looked like a deer caught in headlights. ‘Look who I bumped into, small word huh?’

You were speechless, not knowing if you should play along and say hello to him or just run away and never speak to anyone ever again but Mason took it out of your hands and sent you a sympathetic smile.

‘Hey, y/n. Good to see you’

Was it?

‘H-hi Mase- uh Mason’ you stuttered. Shaking your head but thankfully you were saved by the bell as Masons phone started ringing.

‘That’s jaz, she probably thinks I’m lost somewhere’ he nodded and with a quick see you around he was off, leaving you alone with Suzi who was looking over at you like you’d grown an extra head.

‘Look I know it’s well known he’s got a crush on you but you don’t have to act like that around him, I’m surprised you’ve not scared the poor boy off’ she joked and you realised how it must have looked with the pair of you being so awkward with each other.

‘Sorry, things are just a bit complicated’ you shrugged and you watched her face fall as she didn’t understand what you meant.

‘What do you mean?

‘Nothing, come on let’s not get distracted’ you told her, holding up the dresses you’d picked out for her and thankfully that was enough for her to pull you towards the dressing rooms to try everything on.

You seemed to have more luck picking something else out for each other. Suzi falling in love with the white strapless mini dress you’d found her whilst you picked a leafy green velvet one that hung off your shoulders and pulled you in at the waist she had picked for you. The pair of you leaving with big smiles on your faces as you’d managed to find something but the image of Mason's face was fresh in your mind and it still made your heart beat wildly as you thought about the way he looked at you.

You got ready for your party with Suzi, letting Betsy know you’d see her there and as soon as you turned up she was on you. Parading you around everywhere so you could see what she’d done for you and even though it was beautiful and you were really grateful, you knew it was just an excuse to throw a party for her and it didn’t matter that it was your birthday at all.

You spent most of the night floating between hanging out with her and all her rich friends that you spoke to every so often to then hunting down Suzi for a bit of a rest and some normality. Thinking it was funny how if that was even two months ago you’d probably be thinking the exact opposite and would be spending your whole time with Betsy but today you’d given anything to get away from her.

‘Is that Mason over there?’ You heard Betsy giggle as your mind was off thinking about something else. You were a few hours in and you’d been standing with her for the last ten minutes however you’d been looking for a way out you just wished it wasn’t this. Following her eyeline to see him stood on the other side of the room with Luke and it was like someone had punched you in the gut.

You knew why he was there, you’d invited him before everything had happened and you knew he didn’t want to cause a scene by not coming as Suzi must have spoken to him too, but this was a lot for you to deal with right now as so much had changed since you’d last seen and spoken to him properly.

You had changed more than anything.

‘What do you mean? I invited him ages ago?’ You told her hoping she would drop it but she wouldn’t stop looking at him and laughing and you were pretty sure he’d noticed the way she was acting.

‘I just thought after everything that happened he wouldn’t go anywhere near you, surely he’s not that pathetic’ she commented and you saw red instantly. Mason wasn’t the pathetic one, you were

‘It’s not pathetic at all, he’s got every right to be here’

‘I was just-‘

‘No you were being awful, just like always’ you told her, grabbing your drink so you could walk away but your mouth was running away from you before you could. ‘Mason is kind, and loyal and there’s not a bad bone in his body. You know who’s pathetic? Me, for trusting you and listening to your crap like always’

‘Y/n-‘

‘No Betsy, I’ve had enough’ you told her whilst standing up. ‘We weren’t close but Mason was my friend and now I can’t even look at him without feeling shit about myself for what I did. He didn’t deserve it, hell no one does but definitely not him’

‘Oh come on, y/n. You weren’t saying all this just before you did it, don’t try being the bigger person now’

‘I’m not claiming to be, but at least I’m not so far up my own arse I can’t see my own mistakes. I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to him and until you realise the same I think we should have some time apart’ you told her. Not letting her reply or respond in any way as you walked off but as soon as you rounded the corner of your booth you were face to face with the last person you wanted to be.

You could tell with just one look at him that he’d overheard what you’d said. How much you were unsure of but it was Suzi’s voice that had snapped you out of your daze. You hadn’t even realised she was also there so the fact that she’d maybe overheard parts of it too was making your tummy sink and you didn’t know if you should answer her or flee the scene.

‘What was that about? What have you done?’ She asked but even if you’d wanted to tell her, no words were coming out of your mouth. ‘Y/n?’ She pressed but still nothing in your end.

‘It’s okay, leave it’ you heard Mason mumble. His voice making you dizzy as your breathing quickened and you knew if you didn’t get out of there soon you’d end up embarrassing yourself in front of everyone. This was meant to be your night and the thought of having a panic attack in the middle of the room was bottom of the list of tonight’s activities.

‘No it’s not, tell me what you did’ she pressed but you didn’t. Your eyes flying to the floor as they stung with tears and all you could think about was getting out of there and away from everyone.

‘I can’t, I’m sorry’ you whispered, turning on your head and fighting your way through the swarms of people to make your way to the loo so you could have five minutes peace but you could barely see as you were so emotional.

This wasn’t how you imagined your birthday party, stood in a dingy toilet as you tried to contain your sobs. Hiding from everyone in your life as you knew you’d let them all down and you didn’t know how you were meant to go back out there and face everyone. You were pretty sure only a few people had seen what happened but you knew Betsy would probably be bitching about you to her other friends and the thought of explaining everything to Suzi was making you feel sick.

You didn’t know where to go once you’d left the bathroom, taking a moment to make sure your eyes were less puffy and you looked presentable before making your way back but thankfully life was carrying on as normal without you. Realising that most people here you didn’t actually know or talk to but in the search of looking for something to do, your eyes wandered over to a table of gifts in the corner and you thought you’d take a peek.

One caught your eye immediately, knowing the handwriting on the tag as soon as you looked at it and you couldn’t help but open it then and there. Your eyes filling for the millionth time that night as you held the picture frame in your hands and you knew you’d give anything to be there right now.

‘You okay?’ You heard from behind you. Suzie’s voice was soft and understanding now, a complete 180 from how it was ten minutes ago but you knew you couldn’t face her.

‘I’m fine’ you coughed, trying to cover up the emotion in your voice but you knew she’d see right through it and when you heard her sigh you didn’t know if she was being sympathetic or she was fed up with you.

‘Listen, Mason told me what happened’ she told you quietly and you felt a shiver run though you. ‘Well, not everything, but I can get the jist of it. Why didn’t you just tell me?’

‘Why would I? It was an awful thing to do, I don’t exactly want to broadcast it everywhere’ you said quietly. Finally turning yearling to look up to her with tear filled eyes and even though you could barely see, you couldn’t help but look for him. ‘Where is he?’

‘Gone home, he’s got training early tomorrow’ she explained and you didn’t know if you were relieved or upset about the fact he’d gone. ‘What do you want to do?’

‘Go home, too’ you laughed, knowing that wasn’t really an option but her face didn’t change as she grabbed your hand.

‘Let’s go home then’ she nodded and after you’d grabbed your things you were both out of the door without a word said to anyone else.

Just because Suzi hadn't shouted at you didn’t mean she wasn’t upset with you. The pair of you jumping into your double bed once you were home and changed into your pjs and you knew you were in for a dose of much needed tough love after you finally explained what you’d done. She was definitely disappointed in you and you hated the way she was looking at you but it was no worse than how you felt about yourself.

‘You know, Mason’s not mad at you’ she told you after your tears had subsided and you gulped hard as you looked up at her in confusion. ‘I think listening to you defend his honour helped a bit but he wanted me to tell you he’s okay and he wants to clear the air’

‘He’s insane’ you laughed, wiping your eyes with the cuff of your sleeve and for the first time in a while you heard Suzi laugh too.

‘Maybe’ she giggled. ‘I know if someone had done the same to me I’d have them hung, drawn and quartered but he’s not like that. All he’s worried about is making sure you’re okay’

‘I don’t know if I can talk to him yet’ you whispered, feeling more like a coward and the moments passed by but Suzi just gave you a sympathetic smile. ‘Everytime I look at him I feel sick’

‘Give it some time, I’m sure he’ll wait’ she nodded, squeezing your hand gently as she tucked herself further into the covers and you knew she was getting ready to sleep. ‘We can talk more in the morning, yeah? Let’s just sleep on it and we can figure it out tomorrow’

‘Thank you, Suzi’

‘Don’t mention it’ she yawned as she relaxed into the sheets. ‘You ever pull a stunt like this again though and I won’t be as forgiving’

‘I’ve learnt my lesson I promise’ you gulped, her hand squeezing yours one more time before she rolled over and fell asleep.

Your feelings were pretty much the same in the morning. Not ready to have it out with Mason just yet but you knew you needed to clear the air with Betsy. Calling her into the office on Monday morning to figure out where to go from there and after half an hour, the pair of you were on the same page about the future.

All you wanted now was to focus on the promises you’d made to your family and after two weeks of intense work with Flo you were sat with her in the back of an uber on the way to something that could change the game for you. A meeting with one of the country's biggest record labels so you could pitch the idea of producing their artist’s vinyls exclusively and you were more nervous than you’d ever been for anything. This was the most effort you’d put into the business in years, maybe even ever, but you knew you needed to push yourself and this seemed like the perfect way to do it.

Your car pulled up to their offices in good time and you and Flo made your way straight inside. Pushing the button for the lift to take you to the right floor but as the doors pinged opened you stopped in your tracks.

‘Mason?’ You breathed. Him smiling at you almost guiltily as he swallowed a hard lump and as he moved out of the lift so others could get in, it was like you were frozen to the spot.

‘Y/n? What are you doing here?’ He asked, his cheeks pink at the sight of you and you were surprised he was even speaking to you in the first place so you crossed your arms over your body and bit the inside of your cheek.

‘I’ve got a meeting. What are you doing here?’

‘I’ve just come from a meeting’ he nodded. ‘My management are on the top floor’

‘’I see’ you nodded back, not sure what else to say to him but he surprised you once again by carrying on the conversation.

‘Where’s Betsy?’ He asked, his eyes falling to Flo who’d taken the hint and taken a few steps away so you could talk to Mason in private.

‘I fired her’

‘Shit’ he laughed, the sound making your chest flutter and the corners of your mouth tilt up and once he’d seen you were smiling he was looking at you sympathetically. ‘Listen, I'm glad I’ve caught you. I was hoping we could talk?’

‘What about?’

‘I think you know what’ he nodded but you just swallowed hard as you didn’t know what to say or do right now. ‘Look it’s okay, I don't want us to be like this with each other yeah? I want us to put it behind us’ he told you softly but you still couldn’t look at him. Crossing your arms across your body even further to try and protect yourself but you could hear his gentle sigh before you felt him getting closer again. ‘C’mere’ he asked gently. His hand reaching forwards in hopes you’d take it but you couldn’t bring yourself to touch him.

‘Please don’t be nice to me Mason, I don’t deserve it’ you whispered. Not trusting yourself to talk at a normal volume as your voice was bound to break and you watched through bleary eyes as his hand fell back to his side.

‘You don’t deserve to beat yourself about it forever either’ he told you. Closing the gap between you so he could place his hands on your arms and the sudden proximity of him made you dizzy. Looking up into his big brown eyes that still held so much sadness and you hated that you were the cause. ‘If I can learn to move on from it then you need to as well’

‘You haven’t moved on though, have you’ You told him. The tears welling in your eyes finally spilling over onto your cheeks and he was quick to wipe them away before cupping your jaw. His touch warming your skin and you had to fight every instinct not to rest your cheek into his hand as he sent you a barely there smile.

‘I’m getting there’ he nodded. ‘Please don’t cry, I don’t want you going in there upset’

‘I’ll be fine, I should get going’ you told him and as soon as the words left your mouth he dropped his hands back to his sides.

‘Good luck, okay. You got it’

‘Thank you’ you whispered. Giving him one last smile before he was walking away but just as he got to the door you knew you had to say something before you forgot.

‘Mason wait’ you called, watching him turn to you with his brows raised in confusion and you closed the gap as you didn’t want what you were about to say to be heard by everyone there. ‘Those pictures, I never sent them anywhere. I deleted them all I promise’ you told him.

‘Thank you’ he whispered, a grateful expression on his face and you felt your heart settle a bit knowing he was happy about it. ‘Text me when you’re done? I wanna know how you got on’

‘Okay’ you whispered, sending one last smile his way before you went back to Flo and you were thankful she didn’t mention another word about it.

You did as Mason asked and let him know the meeting went really well, the label agreeing then and there to the deal and once you let him know you were on the phone to your parents to tell them all about it too and you could tell they were shocked but more than anything they were pleased you’d taken their words on board so quickly.

Texting Mason became somewhat of a regular thing after that. Suzi pushing you to message him to say thank you for the birthday gift he’d gotten you and since you were putting it to such good use, you figured you could send him a little picture of where you’d decided to put it. You were full of dread and panic as soon as you hit send until he messaged you back and soon enough you got into a rhythm with it.

You’d message each other here and there about random things. You knew he was busy and now you were becoming busy with work it wasn’t always possible to talk everyday, that coupled with the fact you didn’t feel worthy of his forgiveness and the possibility you thought he could turn on you and call you out any second for your behaviour made your nervous and unsure about talking to him.

Suzi was always there to talk you up though, spending a night on facetime with you when one of Mason's games was on so she could teach you the rules and even though you had no idea what everyone was doing, it was fun watching him run around and go for people. The bridge of his nose getting redder as the minutes passed by but his smile was wide and that’s all you cared about.

‘You should text him, congratulate him on the win’ she told you when it was over and even though you’d been texting back and forth for a little while you were doubtful of if you should. Your face crinkling in uncertainty which in turn made her giggle and no matter how much she tried to talk you around for the next half an hour you were on the phone with her, you told her you thought it was best you left it and she didn’t want to push you.

It was as soon as you got in bed that the itch to speak to him started. She’d planted the seed in your head but as you hadn't heard from him in a few days you were unsure if he wanted to talk to you again. Thinking maybe he was coming to realise he was still unhappy with you and wanted some space but before you could overthink it more than you already had you’d typed up a small message and hit send.

The emoji and use of the name love had you grinning like a schoolgirl. Catching yourself for a moment and wondering what the hell you were doing but you couldn’t deny you were seeing Mason in a whole new way and you were hoping you could someday get to be friends again just like you thought he wanted.

Everything with Flo was going well too, she was smart and on it and excited for all the new projects the two of you were starting but for the plans you had today you were flying solo. In fact she had no idea what you were up to but you’d told her to man the fort as you were out on a special mission.

The original record store was In Portsmouth but since the factory had opened in Manchester it made sense in your mind to open a store up here too. In fact it was your idea when you’d first moved up here and it was something that had impressed your parents in the beginning but just like the rest of the business, it was plodding along and needed a bit of spicing up.

The store had only been open for an hour when you showed up unannounced and apart from your store manager Clive, the shop was empty. To say he was surprised to see you was an understatement as this wasn’t somewhere you frequented a lot but he also seemed happy enough to see you.

‘To what do I owe the pleasure’ he smiled, popping down his pen from where he was doodling on a scrap piece of paper.

‘Well I was hoping I could come and work here today?’ You asked and the mask of shock that took over his face made you giggle. ‘I want to see what’s going on and maybe pick your brains a bit? I’d love to get more people in and I’m sure you’ve got some ideas’

You knew you were onto something special when he grabbed his notebook and began rattling off all the thoughts he had about the shop. From ‘album of the week’ displays to being more active on social media, you loved everything he came up with and once you’d discussed more concrete plans it was nearly lunch time.

‘Why don’t you take a proper break today? I’ll look after everything’ you assured him and it didn’t take much to get him to agree and after quickly showing you how to use the till he was off out and you were on your own.

Half an hour had passed and still no one had entered the shop so you got working putting some new stock out and tidying up a bit. Not that there was much to do as Clive clearly ran a tight ship but there wasn’t much else to do so you started making up jobs.

You were reorganising a shelf when you heard the bell on the door go. Looking around to see a girl around your age walking in with someone behind them and you gave her a quick smile before carrying on with what you were doing.

Whoever she was with clearly didn’t want to be here. You could hear her calling him a grump and asking him to cheer up but his little grunts of annoyance were making you laugh.

You didn’t stay hidden for too much longer, running out of things to put away so you stood up and made your way back to the front to grab another handful of things to sort out but you were stopped in your tracks as you turned in the aisle. Almost walking into the grumpy man that you hadn’t caught a glimpse of yet but as soon as you had you felt shock roll through you.

‘Mason?’ You gulped, your eyes peering up at him in surprise but he was sending you a warm smile which made you feel better. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘I could ask you the same thing’ he smiled and it settled your heart a bit to know this wouldn’t be awkward. Yes you’d been texting but you haddn’t seen him since your meeting and that was a couple of weeks ago now.

‘Well I do kind of own the place’ you joked, wondering if he’d laugh or get a bit awkward with you but thankfully for you, you knew he found it funny as his eyes crinkled at the sides.

‘Okay, you’ve got me there’ he nodded. Ducking his head and pressing his lips together like he was suppressing a smile and you almost smiled back yourself but the presence of the girl he was with was making you feel a bit awkward and you weren’t sure why. Maybe it was the fact you didn’t know he was dating, in fact you’d never seen him with a girl ever, but you tried not to let it show you were feeling weird about it.

‘It’s nice to see you, but I’ll let you get back to your date’

‘Date?’ He laughed, following your eye line to the pretty brunette in the corner but he just shook his head. ‘That’s my stylist, Carlotta. We’re just in between shoots and she wanted to look for something’

‘Oh’ you gulped, not sure what that feeling was but you knew you felt good about the fact he wasn’t on a date and it confused you. You couldn’t think about it for too long though as the bell on the shop door was going again and you were surprised to see Clive looking at the pair of you with such a big smile on his face.

‘Mason, good to see you man’

‘You know each other?’ You asked Clive as you joined him at the till and you could feel Mason was following on behind.

‘He’s one of my regulars’ Clive told you, turning to Mason so you could raise a brow at him and you could see him blushing before he shrugged at you. ‘Oh y/n, I thought of another idea whilst I was getting lunch. What do you think about setting up a record player at the album of the month display? We can pop some headphones in and have a little listening stand so people can listen before they buy’

‘I like that’ you nodded. I’ve got a few knocking around at the factory, I can bring one over’

‘I remember you used to have that in the shop at home’ Mason nodded. ‘I tell you what though, the best thing you guys ever had there was the live sessions’ he smiled before tending his attention to Clive. ‘Last Thursday of every month they’d get someone in to do a set and I’d always go with my brother’

‘Well why don’t we do that here?’ Clive asked, looking at you with an excited smile and you knew what he’d be asking next.

‘We stopped doing it at Portsmouth cause we couldn't afford to pay people back then but I bet I could set aside some budget and bring it back here. Maybe we can invite some more up and coming artists? Give them a bit of a platform and a chance to show themselves’

‘This is the best day ever’ Clive said more to himself than to you but you couldn’t help but share a secret smile with Mason as Clive typed away on his laptop. Mouthing him a quick thank you and you really were thankful for seeing him today.

You carried on like that for a few weeks, texting Mason most days as you sent each other silly things and as your friendship slowly developed again you started to feel even worse about what you’d done.

Mason was a sweetheart, constantly making time for you when you didn’t deserve it but knowing you made him happy with a few silly texts made your heart thump and all you wanted was to make him happier. To make up for all the times you’d let him down in all the years you’d known him as you fully came to terms with the fact you’d never treated him how he should have been.

You wanted to say sorry to him properly but you didn’t really know how to do it. You wanted it to be personal and meaningful so he knew it was sincere but you’d been thinking for days and nothing felt right.

It came to you one night as you were getting your things ready for work, hoping you could use the resources you had available at your fingertips to put something together for him and after some careful planning and a late night in the factory, you’d managed to pull together something you thought was worthy of an apology he deserved.

It was the thought of giving it to him that was putting you off, not wanting to get upset in front of him again but you wanted him to have what you’d made him so on a rare day off you’d taken to sort some things out at home, you made the trip to his house. It was just after lunch when you arrived to drop it off by his door, hoping he was out so you could leave it there for him to look at when he was back but your plans were thwarted as soon as you began walking up his drive.

His car wasn’t parked on the drive which had given you the confidence to walk up in the first place, hoping you could pop it by his front door, but you were about halfway up when his front door swung open and his eyes landed on you immediately.

‘What you doing here?’ He laughed, walking out of his door and clicking his key to open the garage behind him as he chuckled at you and you weren’t sure if you wanted to say something or run back down his drive. His garage door now fully open to reveal his cars and you realised how stupid you were to not realise they were in there.

‘I’ve got something for you’ you gulped as you approached him, deciding to take the plunge and tell the truth but the way he was looking at you with a confused smile as he tilted his head to the side was making you want to run. ‘I was just gonna leave it somewhere’

‘What is it?’ He asked cheekily, holding his hand out to take it from you and even though you felt embarrassed now and didn’t want to give it up, you handed it over to him.

‘A mixtape, of sorts’ you mumbled. ‘I realised the other day I never actually apologised for what I did and I wanted to do something nice for you. Although I’m just realising you’ll probably think of it whenever you play this and I’ve probably ruined all the songs on there for you so maybe this was a bad idea’

‘Nah, I love it’ he laughed, his face lighting up as he read over the handwritten tracklist on the back but you could feel your face heating up with every second that went by and before you knew it, your mouth was running away with you.

‘I really am sorry, Mase. I can’t even begin to explain how much’ you croaked. You didn’t want to get emotional again but every time you saw him it just slapped you in the face what an awful person you were and what an awful thing you had done.

‘It’s okay, I know you are’ he told you softly but all you could do was sob as you hid your face. Not even pushing him away when he wrapped his arms around you, simply melting into his frame as he stroked your back gently and rested his cheek on the top of your head. ‘Hey come on, what’s all these tears for?’

‘I just can’t help but feel like I’ve messed up probably the best thing I could have ever had’ you confessed and you could sense he was a little shocked as his body stiffened before his posture softened once more.

‘I’m not one to hold a grudge, especially not when it comes to you’ he told you quietly, pulling away so he could look at you before reaching up to stroke your cheek softly in order to get you to look at him. ‘I get why you did it, yeah? We’ve all been fucked up for someone once’

‘Yeah but you don’t go and do what I did’

‘Not to that extreme maybe, no’ he chuckled, stroking your cheek to get rid of your tears. ‘But I’ve forgiven you, yeah? We don��t have to be all awkward with each other. I was hoping we could go back to being friends at least? And I mean proper friends, not whatever it was before’ he joked, trying his best to make you smile but you seemed to just be sobbing more.

‘You can’t forgive me Mase, not when I can’t forgive myself’ you sobbed, trying your hardest to stop your bottom lip from wobbling and as he quickly wiped the tears from your cheeks you found the strength to carry on. ‘When I look at you, I just feel sad… and guilty. I don’t wanna live like that forever’

‘You don’t have to’ he told you, shaking his head softly as he looked at you with so much concern it made your chest ache. ‘Why don’t we do something together?’

‘Like what?’ You laughed, thinking this was the last thing you expected him to say but you loved the way his face lit up knowing you were a little bit happier.

‘I don’t know, spend the rest of the day together doing something? Make some new memories and turn that frown upside down’ he joked, moving his hands to squeeze your shoulders and it was almost as if you couldn't believe what he was saying.

‘You don’t wanna spend the day with me’ you laughed, trying to test him a little bit to see if he was just having a laugh with you but his face remained serious.

‘Yeah I do’ he shrugged like it was the most simple thing in the world and you still didn’t understand why he was being so kind. ‘Why don’t we go and get some ice cream?’

‘Ice cream?’

‘Yeah, remember at school when you had that awful maths teacher, what was his name again?’ He asked and you knew exactly who he meant.

‘Mr Smith. Or Mr Shit as I called him’ you scowled, the mere mention of his name annoying you but the sound of Mason's giggles brought you back to reality.

‘Exactly, and there was that one day where he’d pepper chewed you out so you, me, Jamie and Rach got ice cream and sat on the beach’

‘How do you remember that?’

‘I remember a lot about you’ he smiled with a shrug. ‘But i remember you were a lot happier by the time we were done’

‘I haven’t had ice cream in months’

‘That might explain why you’re such a mardy arse then’ he teased but before you could say anything back he was leading you into his garage and opening the passenger door to his car with a smile. ‘Come on, my treat. We can go by the canal and pretend it’s the sea’

‘Maybe we can feed the ducks if we see any?’ You asked excitedly and he was nodding back with just as much enthusiasm and all thoughts of not wanting to hang out with him were out the window. Jumping in his car as he ran around to the other side after shutting your door and the soft smile he sent you as he set off made your heart thump.

It wasn’t exactly the time of year for it, but you were still annoyed you couldn’t find an ice cream van for love nor money. In the end, parking up and running into a small Tesco so you could pick one out of the freezer before Mason let you know there was a good view of old Trafford not too far away and suggested that you should walk by that section of the canal. You happily went along with it as you were up for doing whatever he wanted but it was nice you get some fresh air and sun on your face for a bit.

You’d never been this close to old Trafford before and you stopped by a railing so you could lean on it and take a better look. Mason's arm brushing up against yours as you stood side by side and ate in silence until your mouth started talking before you’d even realised.

‘It's huge’ you commented, nodding your head towards the stadium as you both finished your ice creams and when he held his hand out to take your rubbish you passed it over so he could pop it in the bin. ‘Do you ever get scared?’

‘Sometimes, I have a little trick though’ he smiled, moving to stand behind you with a hand on your hip and as his chest hit your back you felt your knees go weak. You weren’t expecting him to get this close to you but you couldn’t say you weren’t enjoying it.

‘On the other side the corner to the left, well that’s the one that faces south. So everything I feel scared or like I don’t think I can do it, I just look that way and I know I’m facing home. Things don’t feel so scary then’ he told you softly and you felt your eyes fill up at his words.

You were as stiff as a board and you knew it, willing yourself to relax a bit but as his free hand flanked your other side once he’d stopped talking you felt even more awkward. It was like you were too nervous to concentrate on anything other than the way his hands felt holding you again and you hadn't realised how much you’d missed being this close to him.

‘Hey, relax’ he laughed in your ear quietly, clearly feeling how stiff you were in his hold but with one squeeze of your waist you felt yourself melting into him a bit. His arms now circling you as he pulled you closer into his body but it was when he rested his cheek on the top of your head that you finally went with it. Your arms now on top of his to hold him back and it was like you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face as a sense of belonging washed over you.

The view was beautiful from here, but there was one thing you couldn’t see that you knew was even more beautiful. Turning your head to the side and looking up so you could catch a glimpse of his chocolate eyes and as soon as you did you were turning in his arms to face him. No longer content with being stood like this as you wanted to hold him properly and as you carefully wrapped your arms around his neck he pulled you impossibly closer.

You’d never had a hug like this before, that felt like this before and you could fell your eyes sting as his touch set you alight. Feeling as though he was filling you up with his love with each stroke of his thumbs on your back and as you felt him nuzzle his face into the side of your neck you let out a shuddery breath.

‘You okay, sweetheart?’ He whispered into your skin, his arms gently swaying you from side to side in the most comforting way and you willed yourself to keep your emotions in check.

‘I’m fine’ you sniffed, pulling away just enough so that you could look at him and the sympathetic expression on his face almost set you off again. ‘Just a lot on my mind’ you laughed as you rolled your eyes but he just squeezed you a little tighter in response.

‘Tell me’

‘I know you keep saying it’s fine and you've forgiven me but I just still feel like crap’ you laughed. ‘Moving up here, I suppose it was meant to be a bit of a fresh start for me and I wanted to show everyone who I could be. Like you all thought I was a dork at school but look at me now but I’ve gone so far the other way it’s like I don’t know who I am anymore. I should have never thought it was okay to do what I did’

‘I never thought you were a dork. I’ve always seen you, you know? But this… how you are up here… it’s not you, y/n’

‘I know’ you sniffed, it really hitting home that he knew you probably better than you knew yourself at this point and as your eyes selfishly flashed to his lips all you could think about was kissing him again after he’d taken your breath away all those weeks ago. ‘No one’s ever seen me like you before’

‘That’s cause no one’s ever loved you like me before’ he told you softly and even though you’d always known it, it was still a shock to hear the words coming from him. A wobbly breath falling from your lungs as his words hit you whilst his loving smile made you want to smile back at him twice as wide. ‘Stupidly or not, I’ve always loved you. I figured if I was nice enough then maybe one day you could learn to love me back’ he confessed and you felt your bottom lip drop.

‘I know what I did was awful, but I’m not horrible. I’m just a bit dumb, you know?’ You told him tearily but you smiled as he laughed along with you. Tucking your hair behind your ear softly as his happy eyes bore into yours and you knew you wanted to keep talking. ‘One day I think, well I know, that I’ll be able to love you too. I just hope it’s not too late’ you nodded and your heart swelled as he nodded along with you. ‘I know sorry won’t make up for everything but it’s all I have for you right now. Just give me some time to prove myself’

‘You don’t realise it but I can tell you’re on the way back already. If you would have carried on like you were then I wouldn't have bothered trying to talk to you again’ he laughed but you didn’t have a chance to reply as a flash in the corner of your eye startled you before a loud crash of thunder made you squeal in terror.

‘It’s okay, it’s okay’ he reassured you, pulling you into his body carefully as you froze in terror and after a frightened whimper left your lips he was pulling you back in the direction of his car. ‘Come let’s go back to mine’

It was around a half an hour drive back to Masons house and when you pulled up onto his drive you were wondering if he was going to invite you in or send you on your way but once you were out of his car he was pulling you up the drive to his front door and taking you inside without even asking.

‘You want a drink or anything?’

‘Oh I’m… it’s okay I can go if you’re busy’ you told him, not wanting to interrupt his day anymore than you had but he just smiled at you warmly.

‘No no, rest of the day today remember? I’m not letting the rain stop that’ he winked ‘Come on, we can go relax for a bit’

‘Mase-‘ you started but another crash of thunder made you jump and his eyes softened as he reached for you.

‘Y/n come on’ he probed gently. ‘You’re exhausted’

‘I’m okay’

‘Not you’re not. Come lay down’ he all but demanded, and when he pulled you to his living room by your hand you went with him.

‘Mase-‘

‘Just do it, It’s okay’ he reassured you, stopping by his sofa so he could rearrange the cushions for you and when he reached for the blanket you felt your heart warm. ‘Just relax, okay? I’ve got some stuff to do but I’ll be in the other room so I’ll be quiet’ he told you but he could clearly tell you were still unsure. ‘Please’

‘Fine’ you huffed, rolling your eyes playfully as you flopped onto his sofa and you couldn’t stop the giggles as he tucked you in and popped a kiss on your temple.

You tried to sleep, your body aching from how knackered you were but after Mason had finished whatever he was up to in the house you could feel his presence on the other side of the room and you turned to face him. His eyes on you as you got comfortable on your side to look at him and you sent a shy smile his way which he returned.

‘I thought you were having a kip? It’s only been fifteen minutes’ Mason asked as he looked over to you from the other side of the sofa. Noticing he’d been scrolling on his phone waiting for you for a few minutes but now you were looking at him, his phone was away so he could focus just on you. You just shrugged your shoulders though as you didn’t know how to tell him you couldn’t sleep as all you could think about was him.

‘Not tired now’ you mumbled but as you tapped the space next to you but you knew that wasn’t the only reason. ‘Come and lay with me’

You didn’t really ask him, more like demanded that he come over to you but just like always he did exactly as you asked. Carefully getting up before squishing himself in next to you and after a little bit of a tangle with your arms and legs, his arm was around your waist as you half laid on top of him and rested your head in your hand so you could look down at him.

You’d never really taken the time to look at him properly before. Even from a mile away anyone could see he was handsome, and you’d always known he was objectively good looking, but looking at him up close was a whole different ball game.

His lashes were so long as they brushed his cheeks when he looked down but it was the big brown eyes that they framed that melted you. It’s like they were telling you all you needed to know about how he felt and you loved that he was so open with his feelings for you. You just hoped you could repay the favour one day if he was willing to wait.

‘What are you blushing for?’ You whispered. Noticing the way his nose and cheeks were now tinged pink but as soon as the words left your mouth he was just blushing deeper until the bridge of his nose was a deep red.

‘I’m not’ he scoffed, trying to look away and hide his face but you held his jaw and made him keep looking at you.

‘You are’ you giggled, stroking the bridge of his nose ever so gently as he looked up at you in awe. ‘Right here, you’re all red’

‘I’m always red there’ he smiled before his face got a little more serious. ‘I know this is practically common knowledge at this point, but I’ve had a crush on you since I was 13’ he confessed and you loved the fact he wasn’t shy with it but you noticed he could no longer hold your eye contact. ‘I’ve always dreamt of moments like this with you. I’ve never once not wanted this, even when I said my feelings for you were gone they never went anywhere’

You were left speechless by his declaration. In the back of your mind you’d known when you hurt him and he’d thrown all those angry words in your face he was speaking out of frustration rather than from the heart, but you couldn’t believe how good it felt to have him speak about you so positively. If Mason, who was a ray of sunshine in your life thought so highly of you then you couldn’t be that bad, right?

You'd been awful and you knew you didn’t deserve it, but you wanted him to carry on. To talk about you like no one else would so he could make you feel like no one else ever had and as you smiled down at him you could see he was looking up at you suspiciously.

‘Tell me more’ you whispered, watching his eyes roll sarcastically and you knew he was embarrassed a little bit.

‘You know how I feel about you’

‘I know but I wanna hear more’ you asked him with a cheeky smile. The hand that had been settled on his chest moving up to cup his jaw and as you stroked his cheek gently it was like you could feel him relax into the cushions even more.

‘I think you're beautiful’ he whispered, his eyes flicking all over your face. ‘And funny and kind-‘

‘That a lie’ you scoffed, cutting him off with a laugh and thankfully he was laughing with you.

‘Well not all the time’ he teased with a wink but you knew he was just trying to have a laugh with you so you sent him a wink back. ‘But I know you’ve got a lot of love to give, even to people who don’t deserve it’

‘How can you talk about me like this after everything I did? You should hate me’

‘I’ve never hated you, never have never will’ he confirmed cheekily before he face got serious again. ‘I was just disappointed, that’s all. I thought that could have been the start of something for us’ he told you sadly and you couldn’t look at him anymore, your eyes now fixed on his chest as your fingers played with the strings on his hoodie. ‘But like I said, no one’s loved you like I do and even something like that won’t make me feel any different and I don’t care if that’s stupid or whatever. I’d rather take my chances and have you while I can than not at all and I knew it might have only lasted that one night. I just figured you were worth it’

‘God I’ve been a right bitch to you’ you laughed, your eyes filling up again. ‘Not even just these past few months but since we’ve known each other. I never even bothered to get to know you and it’s it’s like you’ve been here the whole time’

‘Well I knew I’d wear you down eventually, I just didn’t think it would take 14 years’ he chuckled, trying to make you smile as he could tell you were getting upset again. ‘These last few weeks, everytime the doors gone I always wonder if it’s you. And I think about what I’d do if it was’ he smiled. ‘Hours Ive sat here, thinking about bringing you inside and sitting you down. Talking about everything’s that happened like we have done and thinking about what I wanna say’

‘Do you have anything else left?’

‘I think I’ve got it all out’ he laughed. ‘But I just want you to remember that I’m okay, and I think if we put our minds to it we can move on from this. I basically have but I don’t want you to stress anymore’ he told you. Reaching up to tuck some hair behind your ear and the action made your breath hitch in your throat. ‘Do you have anything else you want to say?’

‘A little thing’ you laughed, hoping he’d see the funny side of what you were about to say. ‘Remember when I said I deleted all those pictures?’ You told him and you saw his brows crease as he nodded. ‘Well I may have kept one of them. Just the one of us in the bathroom and you can’t even see your face’ you explained and thankfully he was smiling at you. ‘I just… if you never wanted to speak to me again, I just wanted a reminder that it was all real’

‘I’ll allow it’ he winked. ‘Thank you for being honest’

‘I’m trying my best’ you giggled and as he squeezed your thigh you felt your heart stutter.

‘Did you have a nice day today?’ He asked and you were happy for the change of subject as it had all been pretty heavy so far. Looking back to his kind face that radiated warmth and all you could think about was kissing him but you knew it was off the cards.

‘I did, yeah’ you smiled, stroking his cheek lightly as he smiled up at you. ‘I’m a bit upset we never got to see any ducks though’

‘That’s cause they don’t live down that way’ he said matter of factly and you felt your eyebrows pinch in confusion before you laughed.

‘What? Why didn’t you tell me before?’ You giggled. Watching him blush a bit as he smiled back at you and you couldn’t remember a time where you’d ever felt happier.

‘Cause you were excited to look for them’ he shrugged. ‘I didn’t want to disappoint you but telling you they weren’t there’

‘Well thank you’ you laughed, rolling your eyes playfully but he just winked back at you.

‘You know, I never thanked you actually’ he told you, bumping his leg into yours before trapping it between his own.

‘What for?’ You giggled, not being able to think of a single thing he would ever have to thank you for.

‘For standing up for me at your birthday’ he told you and the fact he’d confirmed that he’d definitely overheard what you’d said made your cheeks redden. ‘Even if you didn’t mean it at the time it was still nice to hear’

‘I did mean it’ you nodded. ‘And when I told you you work out who your friends are when things are tough, I meant that too. You were the only one who messaged me to check in on me, you know. Not just asking questions or trying to get any gossip from me but to actually ask about me. And I just threw it back in your face’

‘Y/n-‘

‘I can’t stop thinking about you’ you whispered, cutting him off as he looked up at you sweetly and hung on your every word. ‘And not in a bad way like I said earlier. It's like I can’t stop thinking about your smile, the way you touched me… kissed me’ you gulped and the slight smirk that formed on his lips made your heart race. ‘You know I’d give anything to go back and change that night’

‘I know love’ he nodded sympathetically and just like always it’s like he could read your mind. Knowing exactly what to say to make you feel better but you weren’t expecting what was about to come out of his mouth. ‘You know, you don’t have to close the door on anything, my door is still very much open’ he told you as he tried to wiggle himself into you further and you carried on lazily brushing your fingers over his chest as you peered down at him.

‘What?’ You questioned but you knew from his expression what he meant. ‘Why?’

‘You do stupid things when you love someone’ he whispered and you knew his words applied to the both of you.

‘I don’t… I don’t love him. Not anymore’ you gulped as you shook your head vigorously. ‘In all honesty I don’t think I ever really did, not how you’re supposed to love someone anyway. I think I just loved the image of him, you know? Like what we could be in my mind was better than what we actually were’

‘I know’

‘We never said that to each other anyway. I tried once and didn’t exactly get the response I wanted so I never tried again’ you smiled, trying to laugh it off a bit but he just carried on looking at your earnestly.

‘You deserve to be told you’re loved every single day, he was never good enough for you. And that's not me saying I am-

‘Mase-‘

‘Wait let me finish’ he laughed before his face got serious again. ‘You’re so special to me and I can’t even explain why. It’s like my soul knows you’re meant to be mine or something’ he laughed. ‘And I’m not expecting you to feel the same, I accepted it a long time ago that you don’t but you’re so hard to move on from’

‘So don't’ you whispered and you knew your answer confused him as his brows pinched together.

‘Don’t what?’

‘Move on from me’ you gulped, hoping he would understand what you were saying. ‘Don’t move on, stay right where you are and I’ll come to you. I’m really not that far away, I’ve been on my way to you for a while now I just didn’t realise it’ you reassured him but he wasn’t giving much away as he looked up at your face. ‘You can trust me Mase’

‘I know’

‘You don’t’ you smiled sadly. You hadn't given him anything to trust ever and you wanted him to know it was okay that he doubted you. ‘But I’ll prove it, I promise’

You didn’t know if you were allowed but you couldn't stop yourself anymore. Cradling his cheek in your hand as you peered down at him and you could see it in his eyes how much he wanted to kiss you even though he was scared. You took charge though and tilted his head ever so slightly before leaning down and pressing your lips to his.

You forgot how good it felt to kiss him, the world around you blurring at the edges and all you could see and feel was Mason. His strong heartbeat pounding away under your fingers that were laid on his chest and no matter how soft you tried to keep things it was Mason who was deeping it. His free hand holding the back of your head so you wouldn’t part from him but you didn’t want to anyway. He felt safe, like home, and you only pulled away when you absolutely had to so you could take a breath.

‘Will you let me take you out? On a proper date, not for a walk to look for imaginary ducks’ Mason whispered to you after a while. Your forehead still resting on his and as you giggled he squeezed your sides gently.

‘I’d like that’ you grinned. Dipping back down to kiss him and you knew you’d finally be okay.

Three Months Later

‘Will you stop checking your phone?’ You heard from next to you. Turning to see Suzi stood there with her arms crossed over her body and you realised instantly you hadn't even realised she’d joined you as you were so engrossed with your phone.

‘He said he’d be here’ you pouted. Chancing a look again at your messages but it was exactly the same as you’d left it 5 seconds ago.

‘And he will be, it’s his bloody idea after all’ she laughed as she walked off but the sound of the bell going off on the shop door caught your attention. His eyes finding yours immediately and you knew the smile on your face was just as wide as his.

‘Hello beautiful’ Mason whispered as he approached you. Dipping down to kiss your cheek gently and you were blushing hard at the gesture instantly. ‘Sorry, I couldn’t find a parking space it’s rammo out there’

‘That’s okay, you’re here now’ you laughed, letting him stand behind you as he wrapped his arms around your waist and once he was settled you were looking up at him over your shoulder softly. ‘Missed you’

‘Missed you too’ he grinned down at you, your head tilting up in hopes he’d lean down to kiss you and he didn’t need telling twice. Dipping his head to place the sweetest kiss on your lips that made your head spin and you finally felt like you were back where you belonged now you were in his arms.

‘Ugh’ Suzie gagged from next to you as just rejoined you both with a drink in her hand and her disgust caused you both to pull away with a giggle. ‘I think I preferred it when you two didn’t talk’ she teased but you knew she was just joking. She had been the one to push to hang out with Mason more and more since you told her you’d made up that day on his sofa and when you told her two weeks ago you’d finally become official, she was over the moon for you both.

You watched as Mason greated Suzi quickly before moving onto your parents. Big smiles on all their faces as they hugged and chatted away like they’d always known him and it warmed your heart to know they were all getting on so well. Wanting to go and join them now that everything was set up in the shop but as you approached you could hear Mason and your dad deep in conversation.

‘Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it. She’s got her spark back since you’ve been back around’ he told Mason and you could see from a mile off his much it meant to Mason to hear that from him.

‘Well if I’m being honest she’s done the same for me, I think we both just needed a reminder of home’ he shrugged, trying to brush it off just like everytime you complimented him but your dad just laughed and patted him on the back.

‘Yeah well, I think it was a bit more than that’ he teased. ‘But I’m glad you’ve got each other’

‘Me too’ Mason smiled, his eyes crinkling at the sides before they were searching for you and once he’d found what he was looking for he held his hand out for you to take.

‘I got you a drink’ you smiled and the way he beamed back at you made your heart swell. Taking it from your hand to place on the side next to yours before popping a kiss on your forehead.

‘Thank you, gorgeous’

‘I should be saying that to you’ you laughed. Wrapping an arm around his waist as he wrapped his around your shoulders protectively and you wanted to melt into him as you felt so safe and warm. ‘This is amazing Mase I can’t believe we did it’

‘You did it’ he told you pointedly but you weren’t having any of it.

‘Well it was your idea, and you helped plan and set up so I’d say you did it’

‘Well you’re very pretty’ he winked. His random compliment throwing you off a little but you knew you were blushing as you hid your face in his shoulder. ‘I mean it, you look beautiful’

‘Well then you’re very pretty too’ you chuckled but he didn’t have time to respond however the blush on his cheeks told you everything. The lights darkening as the artist you’d booked finally came out to a loud applause and after a quick introduction she started to perform.

She was four songs in when she announced she was mixing things up a bit and was going to sing a cover and as soon as her fingers hit the keys you knew the song. One you’d put on Masons I’m sorry playlist and you knew he realised too as he squeezed your waist gently in response and pulled you closer into his body. Your face tilted up and over your shoulder to see his and he was looking back down at you so softly you felt your eyes well up. An unspoken realisation between the pair of you that thing song was special to you and as he placed a kiss to your forehead you realised again how far you both had come.

It was you that pulled Mason away and out of the crowd so you could stand off to the side on your own. The pair of you in your own little bubble as you held each other and whispered the lyrics in each other's ear until you couldn’t take it anymore and reached up to kiss him.

You still couldn’t get over the feeling of being so close with him. The way he would hold you as he poured himself into you, the way his hold was always so gentle but strong and the way he didn’t care that anyone could see you he just wanted to kiss you and you wanted the same just as much.

I wanna say, Without you, everything's wrong

And you were everything I need all along

I wanna say, I wish that you never left

I love you so much’ you whispered as you pulled away, the words falling from your lips for the first time ever and you could tell Mason was shocked before the biggest grin you’d ever seen took over his face. His hands gripping your cheeks so he could pull you in for another heated kiss before his forehead rested on yours.

‘I love you too’ he whispered, his eyes bright and happy and you knew you’d never get over the feeling of being the one to make him smile. ‘I can’t believe you just said that to me’

‘Well you did say you’d wear me down eventually’ you winked, your heart swelling as he laughed with you and you knew you were finally on the right path with the boy who brought you peace.

Thanks so much for reading you beautiful people 😘 if you feel like, I’d love to know what you think so feel free to leave me some feedback if you’d like 🩷

[blackbirdsblackberries]

I Hate The New Hero!

Pt 5: What?!

Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 (You're here) - Pt 6 - Pt 7 - Pt 8 - Pt 9 - Pt 10

Finally getting home from your patrol you sneak through the window of your bedroom and collapse onto your bed. After the call you decided that your patrol was done.

Frankly you're still coming to terms with the fact that Batman and his protogese are the same people who are essentially praying on your civilian self's downfall yet adoring your vigilante persona like it's the greatest thing in the world.

Though, now that you really think about it, it makes sense. Bruce Wayne is the richest man alive, he'd be able to afford to do this, they have the same amount of members as the heroes, same builds and heights, actually... Basically everything matches up.

Not to mention the fact that your senses goes off around both group members!

From outside your small room door you hear your parents arguing again - more like your mother yelling and your dad breaking things and stomping his foot. It was probably your dad's fault again. Don't get you wrong, you love your family! It's just that they're dysfunctional.

Your dad has a massive drinking problem that landed him working as a goon for Black Mask, he's struggled with his temper for years after he got hit a bit too hard in the head by Batman. Pair that with the fact that he's mute and he's a force to be reckoned with.

Your mom is always busy and rarely ever home, when she is she couldn't be bothered to interact with you unless you got into trouble. She grew up rich, often talking about how she went to the same school as Bruce Wayne and how she was a popular cheerleader before her life fell apart. She doesn't talk much on the topic but it's clear she holds distain for your father and, by extension, you.

You sigh to yourself, you need to shower. That means you need to get past them without them bringing you into it. Or you just don't shower for the night and have one tomorrow...

Your mom screams something out about not throwing knives and you decide to just shower tomorrow morning.

You change out of your costume and hide it safely under a loose floorboard, you change into your pajamas and get into bed. Today was a massive mental drain and physical drain.

...

You awake to a knock at the front door. Your parents usually ignore it and make you answer when someone knocks because "you're dispensable" as they say. Looking at the clock on the wall of the kitchen you see it's around 7am.

Groggily making your way to the door you look through the peep hole and see Tim standing awkwardly on the other side with a guy next to him, the guy next to him being so big and tall that you could only see a small part of his chest and arm.

You curse to yourself quietly, this is by far the worst luck you've ever had.

You open the door and look at the two. Now seeing the other guy the thing that stands out is a stripe of white hair on his head. Instantly you know it's Jason Todd.

You aren't an idiot. He's the only one in the family built like how he is - not including Bruce.

"What do you want?" You ask, annoyed. Tim chuckles weakly, as if nervous. "Wayne Enterprises wishes to give your mother her letter of departure." You blink once, then twice. "Huh? Letter of departure? The fuck does that mean?" You mutter, genuinely confused.

Jason scoffs, "it means your dear mother is losing her job, kid." He states uncaring of how blunt he's being. Tim elbows him and hisses something about being more considerate.

You don't listen, all noise becoming white noise. Why is she being fired? She works hard, she dedicates her time, she does her best! Is this because you have beef with Tim? That's not fair!

She's the only stable source of income, without that job you all would be living on the streets. You've heard AND seen so many horror stories about teens living on the streets, it's something you'd pray never happened to you. But now it's entirely probable.

So, in a moment of desperation you grip Tim by his shoulders "Please! You can't fire her! We'll end up homeless! She works all the time, she tries! My mother will improve if you ask, she needs this job. The whole family does!"

Tim seems shocked by this, his posture stiffening. Jason looks on guard, as if assessing whether he should step in, though he doesn't seem fond of the idea. You wouldn't doubt that he was made to accompany Tim as a body guard.

Tim opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again. Clearly he wasn't expecting you to beg for your mother to keep her job.

"Uh... Look, I don't mean any harm by it, it's just that we need to make way for brighter minds..." He stumbles slightly over his words as if making the excuse up on the spot.

You won't back down however. "Tim, please, I desperately need you to realize this. I. Will. Die. On. The. Streets." Probably not true because of your mutation but the fear remains. "Please, I'll do anything for you to not do this! I already promised Bruce to stop talking bad about Aranea!" You please desperately.

Tim glances to Jason who quirks a brow and shrugs. The sound of movement from behind you makes your eyes widen and behind you you see your dad approaching, you were probably too loud.

He glares at you before yanking your hair so you move away from Tim and remove your clutches on him. You hiss in pain at the feeling but bow your head down.

Your dad eyes the two boys before looking to the paper in Tim's hands. He instantly knows what's going on and storms down the hallways of the complex to do who-knows what. That scares you. Your dad is unpredictable.

After some silence Tim speaks up. "Are you okay? Your dad pulled your hair pretty tightly..." You look down, ashamed. You couldn't even bother putting your walls up and defending your pride. Your life is basically falling apart at the seams.

"... I'll do anything for you to not fire my mother..." You mutter meekly, a far cry from how you usually act, something Tim notices immediately. He sighs to himself, he debates the odds. Maybe if he doesn't fire (Reader)'s mother then they can be even. The feud can end, it was pointless on your part to begin with for hating someone so sweet and kind, then hating him who defends the innocent.

"Fine. Your mother can stay, but, it may not be permanent. I suggest she find elsewhere in the mean time." Tim states before walking off. Jason takes a second to stare at your relived form, the slight smile of disbelief and look of relief in your eyes. He then leaves with Tim.

You close the door to the apartment and sink to the floor. That was terrifying. You'll have find a way of telling your mother the news before she goes into work in two hours.

You're officially having the day off from school and patrol today.

[helluvabinge]

The amount of bad faith arguments from antis is utterly astounding. I just saw 2 different people argue that Blitz being fine with killing the mom in Murder Family and not the gay couple in Sinsmas was a sign of Vizzie being obsessed with gay people and hating women.

The entire story of Helluva Boss is Blitz coming to terms with his trauma and the ways that has shaped his relationships as an adult. That’s not even a B plot. That is literally the main story.

The show begins with him hiding his trauma behind bravado. He has lost his family and feels responsible. He adopts a daughter, but is afraid to place any boundaries on their relationship and trades away genuineness for surface level gifts and compliments.

He craves intimacy but is terrified of actually finding it. He fucks around with whoever he wants and crosses every boundary with M&M, constantly trying to insert himself into a successful relationship, without putting any effort into building one himself.

He’s determined to prove he’s not just a screw up, so he starts a business based around one of the few well paid jobs imps seem to be able to get in Pride (hired muscle), and he doesn’t think twice about whether the people he’s killing actually deserve it or not.

By the end of Apology Tour (though honestly it starts before this) he has realized that he doesn’t want to be like this forever. He doesn’t want to cut himself off from people. He wants genuine connection.

In Sinsmas, Blitz immediately clocks that the family they are about to kill bears a superficial resemblance to his and Stolas’s relationship. When he goes out for the job, he sees the future he wants, the same one he has only recently allowed himself to admit he wants, and yeah, it’s too much for him to go through with it.

It makes sense that a repressed Blitz firing on bravado and overconfidence would distance himself from his hits in episode 1. It makes sense that the more he opens himself up to being vulnerable, acknowledging his trauma, and finding genuine connection with loved ones, the harder that would be, especially when his own emotions are so new and so raw.

Yes, Blitz loved his mom and he’s not over what happened to her, but his coping mechanism is to push his emotions away and try to forget about all of that. He’s not trying to do that with Stolas in Sinsmas. In fact, he’s very notably trying to do the exact opposite, so of course his reaction to this hit would be different.

If you don’t understand that, you are (at best) not paying attention to the plot or (at worst) are willfully ignorant and intentionally trolling fans of this show because you have nothing better to do with your time.