#its not a good craving...

[they-took-werkow]

My sillies <3

[qvert]

Prints

...you're welcome? :D

[temeyes]

late night snacking

[junkiepunkie]

Listen, I hate Capitalism.

But they kind of popped off with Dunkin’ Donuts.

[gunsatthaphan]

"I won't lie to myself anymore."

[wolfythewitch]

oh you're aroace :3 I don't mean to pry but, how like, did you figure it out ? or maybe how is it like? I'm pretty sure that what I m but it's... been confusing me for a while I just don't know how to know if that makes any sense TvT

Anyhow, take care have a good day :3

I still have no idea tbh. But I never really cared about attraction and romance and I still don't. I rarely think about it in context of myself and as far I know I've never felt romantic or sexual attraction. So for now it's the label that fits haha

[dreamyblanket]

Sorry guys, wafer on the brain, it's terminal u.u

Anyway, I'll elaborate on this in the tags bc omg I'm going to yap your metaphorical ear off.

[s0fter-sin]

mermay idea

mers keep their faces covered as a way to indicate social status and familiarity. warriors have intricate masks, handcrafted when they win their first battle and the more detailed a mask is, the more accomplished the wearer is. they're rarely shed and are only taken off for their closest kin and mates

warrior bull shark mer!soap seeing human!ghost, seeing his skull mask and immediately knowing he's a high ranking warrior; one to be feared going off the numerous scars covering his body

an ideal and worthy mate, so long as he can prove his prowess

so he follows him as he's deployed on a mission near the ocean and is smitten when he sees how ruthless and capable he is; bathing himself in his enemies blood. he keeps his distance, not wanting to tempt fate but ghost spies the tip of his fin cutting through the water

and he's nothing if not an opportunist; kicking the bodies off the pier to the waiting jaws below

but soap? all he sees is the first step in a courting ritual

and he has to come up with something truly brilliant to match such a glorious offering

on ghost's part, it's been difficult getting people to understand the depths of his dependence on his mask. price thinks it's something to overcome, gaz and other soldiers just think it's an accessory to help with intimidation

the few partners he's tried to have thought he was someone to "fix"; nothing more than an object, a notch on their belt to prove how "good" of a partner they were to put in so much work to make him better. it always leaves him feeling violated, more so than if they'd just taken his mask off outright. one night stands were hardly worth it either; scratching a physical itch but falling so short of the intimacy and connection he craves that he feels worse off than he'd started

when he finally meets the mer that's been hunting him across the country, sees the bright red mask so artfully hewn and attached to his face?

it's like looking at a reflection of himself

he might have finally found the understanding he's been searching for

[benevolenterrancy]

Swords pining for each other's cultivator is my new favorite type of pining. Love your NieYao content! <3

I don't suppose we could get Baxia or Hensheng throwing a tantrum while Jin Guangyao / Nie Mingjue are away, leaving their owners to deal with the embarrassing aftermath?

Also, do you have any recs you'd recommend with these two?

this is the exact moment Nie Huaisang realised he was going to have to start meddling in his big brother's love life (con't: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Hensheng, on the other hand, doesn't throw tantrums but WILL sulk...

[kerink]

does anyone have any fic recs focusing on dipper and mabel struggling with going back to ca? like the real world feeling fake and shallow now that they know magic and monsters are real, and feeling disconnected from everyone else because they dont know the world almost ended. craving going back to gf where they have this bond with everyone and are actually understood?

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

was rereading the convo dirk has with dave and was captivated by the subtle work done to indicate how very much this was not actually a good or productive convo for dirk, and a capstone on the toxic mess that is him and hal

in the exact same conversation that dave is explaining, and dirk is seemingly accepting, that beta!dirk/bro should not have been allowed near a child, dirk chooses to bring up hal. and he does it to be really shitty.

DIRK: Creating him was an interesting exercise I guess, but over the years I came to see his development as one of my biggest mistakes. DIRK: He sort of turned into a monster. But I could never bring myself to get rid of him, or even really blame him for being an asshole, because he wasn't actually that different from me.

like... hal is dirk's younger brother/kid, right?

that's part of the reason that when hal starts using a different color, it's dave's red. in one part, the orange/red split is evocative of dave/davesprite, casting dirk/hal as foils, but... i don't think the lil bro/"kid i'm responsible for" vibe is unintentional, either. especially when paired with the fact that the brainscan is of 13-year-old dirk, and that the words "nascent" and "emergent" are used to describe hal's consciousness, all implying an element of youthfulness or childishness to him that isn't applied to dirk.

hal is fully sapient, has real feelings (by dirk's own admission, too), and is also, like, completely his own guy. he's not a dirk splinter, he's a computer housing a dirk splinter, and he and dirk only think they're the same guy because their individual issues happen to perfectly align in the worst possible way.

so if you look at their relationship through that lens instead - a frankenstein/frankenstein's monster scenario (which is also directly and intentionally an exploration on parenthood) at best and dirk Pretty Much Actually Just Making A Child at worst - doesn't it become really fucked up that Dirk tried to kill him?

Doesn't it become really fucked up that Dirk is outright calling him a "mistake" and a "monster"?

the other really interesting thing here is when he talks about Jake - specifically, the way he chooses to "make it up to" jake. which is to say, he doesn't.

DIRK: I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to avoid me as much as possible. DIRK: I'm sure that's for the best. DIRK: I think I need to stay out of his business for a good while, so I don't risk poisoning another innocent kid's life.

This isn't a solution. Hell, this isn't even an apology. This is just self-isolation, self-punishment, more of Dirk's martyrdom complex and teen boy diva bullshit.

yes, dirk hates himself, but the actual toxic loop he's stuck in is one where he doesn't address any of his problems. he identifies what his issues are, he feels really bad about them, he can enunciate them very clearly to other people, but then, instead of fixing them, he inflicts punishment on himself and then calls it a day.

We know that this is a bullshit thing to do to Jake because we know the situation from jake's side of things.

GT: Do you think you could relay the same sentiments to dirk? GT: I was thinking about all the stuff he said to me while we were all telling him to dance. GT: And yeah i was really being a prick when i ran away to lomax. GT: He was right about everything. I should have come clean about wanting some space.

jake wants reconciliation! jake wants to address the fact that he failed and apologize! jake wants to be friends again!

self-punishment is not a solution, and while I don't think dirk is entirely cognizant that he's doing it, by venting to dave - who literally has no idea what's been going on in dirk's group - he's able to frame the story - ahem, control the narrative - to justify his own shitty choice to not actually improve as a person, but instead to wallow in his own self-inflicted misery. If he'd said what he did about Hal to Jake, Roxy, or Jane - all of whom recognized hal's personhood and emotional reality to some degree, and spoke with him extensively - how would they respond? If they knew he'd tried to kill Hal, how would they respond?

The answer to that is why he doesn't tell them, and has got to be ticking in the background to explain why Dirk chooses to isolate himself from them. Put simply, I think the reason why he seems to think his friends never know the worst of him is because he deliberately avoids showing them. If he showed them, they wouldn't stay quiet, and if they didn't stay quiet, he'd actually have to... do something about it, instead of just indulging in some self-punishment and walking away feeling like the problem was solved.

and i think part of why he's so terrible to hal is because, on some level, he recognizes that he does kind of owe it to hal to be better. because, you see.

Hal is his kid.

hal's existence, hal's circumstances, and hal's suffering are a direct result of dirk's decisions, and hal is taking him to task for them. the things dirk really resents about hal are less the ways that hal is a reflection of dirk, though that's in there too, but the fact that hal is asking dirk to take responsibility. actual responsibility. that hal keeps confronting him with the fact that he's the one who caused hal's plight, he's the one with the power to fix it, and he's the one choosing inaction and avoidance.

TT: I'm guessing she's touching base to remind me about the party tomorrow. TT: I don't know what to tell her yet. Or Jane, for that matter. TT: It could get pretty awkward. TT: I have no idea if Jake will be there, and I'm not about to write another cringe-inducing message of desperation for him to ignore. AR: Would you like me to calculate the probability of his attendance? TT: Fuck no. AR: Are you sure? AR: My probabilities are extremely precise. TT: Your probabilities don't mean dick. AR: I could hack his chats, and determine what his plans are. TT: No. Don't do that either. [...] TT: Just don't do anything. Seriously. TT: No hacking, no calculations. Do absolutely nothing.

That's why Dirk takes such exception to the AI thing, too.

AR: In any case, my use of the responder responder is ironic. TT: It's not ironic. TT: YOU were ironic when I made you. TT: Then you became self-aware, and ruined irony forever.

then you became self-aware - in other words, "then you became a free-thinking entity and those jokes became reminders that your situation is fucked up, and i'm the one who put you in it". in other words, "and then you were born, and i had to be responsible for that". because, after all, the AI jokes that dirk hates so much? those aren't a reflection of dirk. that's all hal, baby. dirk can't use his "i hate you because i hate myself" excuse on that.

now i don't want to make it sound like i'm saying that dirk is a monster or anything. he does care, very fucking deeply, about his friends. and i think this conversation was genuinely very cathartic and helpful for dave. and it is, genuinely, very tragic that he does actually hate himself to the point where he finds it difficult to believe that he can get better, or even that he deserves to get better.

but those feelings have transformed into a vastly more harmful attitude of wilful, obstinate refusal to change, and even outright resentment and fear towards those that would ask him to. it's subtler than some of the others, but his convo with dave really highlights that dirk has not finished developing as a character yet. and i think it's really neat.

[stealingyourbones]

Everyone who ever loves movie theatre popcorn needs to buy Flavacol. It’s the flavored salt used to give movie theatre popcorn its taste and it makes popcorn taste exponentially better than regular salt

A link to prove that it’s genuinely The Real Deal

[r0manc3-dawn]

Me when I realize I have free will so draw at midnight.

[critter-wizard]

ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️

b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3

[beebiejr]

2:15 am and all I can think about is how bad I want more subnautica dead tired aus…

PLEASEEEEEE LIKE HOW COULD YOU GET ME HOOKED ON THIS??? AUUGGHHHHHH

I have NEVER played, watched, nor been spoiled a single thing about subnautica. The only stuff I know is that there’s water. Then, on one ordinary day, I come across a drawing. It’s Danny Phantom as a leviathan?? I think it’s a leviathan. It’s absolute fire. Bro cooked with gas. I’m intrigued.

I go looking further. They have a master post link at the top. I check it out. I binge it all.

“Wow” I think to myself. “Where can I get more of this?”.

I look high and low. I wait a couple days. Nothing. Silence. Horror dawns on me as I realize this has been abandoned.

(If I’m remembering right) Later I find another glimpse of subnautica. This was short and was mostly big leviathan Danny with Justus League there at the end. But still it’s gas. It’s flammable. My hair got torched into a bob.

This reignites the fires in my motivation to get kicking back on this subnautica adventure. I search again for more. I plead for dead tired. Wish for at least a glimpse of dp x dc. Nothing.

Me and my broken heart go to Ao3 because surely they will have some dead tired subnautica.

Boy oh boy.

They have 6 subnautica x dc x dp at first glance. None that sang to my heart though. Upon further investigation I found gold. A beautiful dead tired subnautica au ripe for the picking.

4 chapters of not exactly what I was looking for, but by god was it everything I needed. It was short, sweet, and left a 4,283 word hole in my heart.

I want more, I need more.

In this essay I will convince you to create-

Ao3 fic is Freezing Waters, Empty Skies by Strawberry_Avalanche

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[dasiesanddarkness]

hoping to make someone cry so here’s the first chapter of my fic (it doesnt have a name but i posted a summary a little while ago that you can find here) thats all angst, all hurt no comfort. enjoy :)

“What are you doing?”

“Going to Nina’s.”

Wylan flinched, but Jesper hadn’t been looking to see it. He just grabbed his keys from the dish by the door, the one Wylan had put there months ago to keep Jesper from leaving them around their apartment and losing them, and walked out. The door slammed behind him, but Wylan didn’t jump. He didn’t blink, he barely breathed. He waited for Jesper to walk back in, to drop his keys back into the little bowl and smile that sad smile so Wylan could say he was sorry. Jesper would apologize too, because he always did, and Wylan would say it was okay, that they’d go to sleep and talk about it in the morning. They’d fall asleep curled up against each other and talk about it the next morning over coffee and pancakes Jesper would probably burn because he forgot they were still on the stove. It would be okay, because Jesper wouldn’t leave him. Because Jesper had promised, over a year ago, that he would never leave him.

Jesper never walked back through the door.

Wylan’s phone was still sitting on the floor from when he’d dropped it earlier. He picked it up, vaguely recognized the color of Nina’s contact in a notification on his screen through the blur of tears, and turned it off. He dropped it again, back to the floor so he wouldn’t be tempted to turn it on again until the morning.

Jesper had promised he wouldn’t leave him.

Wylan had not made keeping that promise easy. He couldn’t count the times he’d been too cruel, too distant, too tetchy. He couldn’t count the times he’d apologized, or the times Jesper had accepted his apology with a smile and a kiss. He couldn’t count the times he’d tried to push Jesper away, or the times Jesper hadn’t budged an inch, always whispering the same words.

“I won’t ever leave you. There’s nothing you could do to make me. Promise.”

Wylan’s therapist had told him to find something that calmed him, that was easy and manageable when most of his energy was taken up by thinking the same destructive thoughts on repeat. Wylan had found making tea helped. He couldn’t bring himself to walk to the kitchen.

He ended up in their guest room. He didn’t want to see their bed, empty because Jesper hadn’t kept his promise. Because Wylan had finally made doing so too difficult to be worth the payoff at the end. He didn’t want to see the shirts strewn across their floor or the jumble of rings next to their sink. He might die if he did, might shrivel up and wilt because Jesper had promised he wouldn’t leave him. Jesper had promised he wouldn’t leave him. Jesper had left him.

Wylan had no doubt he’d wake up to a still empty apartment and texts from his friends. He didn’t want their pity, but craved their attention. He was destructive like that. He took advantage of what people offered him, held it too tight in greedy hands until they got sick of him and took it back. There was no one to blame for this but himself. If he hadn’t been so stupid, so annoying and stubborn and fucking awful, Jesper might still be here. He might have kept his promise.

He wished he was mad. It would be so much easier to hate Jesper for leaving, or for starting the fight, or to call Inej and vent about all the ways Jesper had fucked up, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t, because he’d known this would happen eventually. He’d known that Jesper would realize that he was better off without the endless baggage Wylan carried, without his constant mood swings and bad temper and countless failings. It was astonishing Jesper had kept him around as long as he had. But Wylan had been certain that one day his endless patience would run out, and he’d been right. He’d been right, and he couldn’t be mad about it, only grateful it hadn’t happened sooner.

Even in their guest bedroom, he can’t escape the memory of Jesper. The sheets were purple, and the comforter a paisley green. Both had been Jesper’s pick, and Wylan had been too smitten to even consider saying no. Looking at them, feeling them, being near them, made him feel sick, but he needed to sleep. If he was asleep he couldn’t think about the millions of ways he’d fucked up, or hope Jesper would come back and be disappointed when he never did.

Laying in bed alone was hard. He’d done it since they started dating, but it was different now. It was different because before, he’d had Jesper’s contact open, the voice messages about how much he missed him playing on repeat. He’d had some kind of security in the knowledge that they would be reunited soon. That as weird as it was to sleep alone, it wouldn’t be forever. He had no such comfort now.

It took hours for him to finally fall asleep, but eventually, he managed. When he woke up, Jesper still had not returned.