#its the last sentences i have a problem with💀💀💀💀💀

[nebulo-philiac]

We gotta stop pretending that the "censorship/antishipper" movement is run by dumbass children when most of the people who actively participate on there are GROWN ASS ADULTS who say stuff like this, this person has 25+ on their bio😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[aroaceofthesea]

I was in a 18 bday party today and we didnt have a gift for the bday girl💀💀

[junietuesday]

also. just choose a question you really want to answer and do it >:)

currently answering fic writer asks!

17. talk about your writing and editing process

ive been asking people this one since i think its interesting how it differs for everyone, so thought i’d answer it myself! basically i’ll get hit w a very loose concept, and depending on how casual it is or if i think i need to get my thoughts in order before writing, i’ll either jump straight into it or write a bullet point “outline”. basically just a super informal brainstorm, talking abt possibly the themes/ideas i want to explore, some events i might throw in and how best to order them, and/or if i already have a vivid picture of the sequence of events, then i’ll just straight up write it out, no grammar or anything, but w the dialogue i can already picture, explaining the thoughts that the character is having, occasionally depending on how clearly i can already imagine the scene, the “outline” isnt super far off from actual prose. i’ll put a picture from one of my docs at the end, but its all just super rambly talking myself through the thought process.

then the actual writing- i usually write everything in order, bc i need to know where the character’s head is at and what theyve already thought abt in the previous scenes. i’ll keep the ideas from my outline in mind if i made one, but i dont stick to it religiously or anything, usually just going w the flow of what feels right for the characters in the moment means i end up straying a lot from any specifics. “going w the flow of what feels right” is honestly how i get the initial draft done lol, just based on vibes. if the start of a fic just isnt feeling fun, its often bc i tried to start too early in the timeline and am just vamping w too much inner monologue- ive been trying to work on starting as “in media res” as possible, not just per fic but per scene, w only a paragraph or so max interlude before getting into actual events and dialogue. i try to really sprinkle in the introspection in between the action, and to stop overexplaining, i just say certain stuff without context but that the reader can read into and fill in all the blanks, instead of me spending ages rambling abt stuff the reader could figure out on their own. if i get stuck somewhere, i rely on that trick a lot of counting back like 5-10 sentences to see if you wrote yourself into a corner.

i dont really do formal “drafts”, bc i edit as i write. i hear so many people say not to do this bc it gets in the way of just getting words down, but if im going back and rereading what ive written so far to think abt what to write next, i cant rest if i see weird sentence/paragraph rhythms, repeated words, places w dialogue that either doesnt sound in-character or doesnt carry enough double meaning, lazy imagery, etc etc. editing is also fun for me, and easier than writing from scratch, so im still working on the fic but its giving me a break so i can get into writing the next part w more steam. though when i “finish” a fic, i will go over the whole thing again for one last flow check, bc when writing i dont usually read the whole thing start to finish, so i’ll rearrange stuff and not see how it affects the greater rhythm of the story until i reread it in full for the final check. then i’ll give it like overnight to clear my head, then do one last quick reread for anything glaring i missed after having stared at this fic for so long (it usually takes me Months to write even 1-2k word long fics💀). i start looking for a title when im pretty close to done, usually from poems/literature, but if its a more casual fic i’ll just take a word or phrase from the fic that relates to the story in multiple ways.

under a cut for length but heres some of my outline for my transfem hardwon fic. bc it has elements of both “brainstorming” and “writing out the events”

i think i may break this up into two chapters. or perhaps even three. but my problem was that i thought itd be weird to suddenly jump away from moonshine and the crick for one scene only to go back for the whole rest of the fic. but if i have ch1 be the intro, ch2 be hardwon maybe in irondeep visiting jaina and nerman and such and talk to jaina abt queerness after a confrontation w other dwarves, and then ch3 be coming back to the crick for the finale of him opening up to moonshine/the ending smut… i lowkey think this could work. still be a bit of a jump but separating them into chapters will at least mitigate some of that weirdness i hope. ch1 awakening, ch2 irondeep interlude, ch3 homecoming? idk i like homecoming for ch3 bc hes coming home to the crick and moonshine, also the play on words for the smut in his stump, also coming home to his body after discovering his gender. and i want ch1 to match but i want it to be like discovery but also hardwon repressing it. so a word that evokes that too.

i think i need one more scene in here kind of getting into a showcase of hardwon’s defensive masculinity? showcasing all the things i have hardwon contemplating in the finale bc it cant come out of left field in the last paragraphs of the fic. like the idea that hes like. hes “succeeded” at masculinity. he worked so hard his whole life to be exactly what society wants him to be. a cool buff stoic warrior. this was supposed to be what made him fit in, what made people like him. and maybe it didnt work back in irondeep when he was working in the mines, but he could rationalize that if he left, maybe then it’d work. and it honestly has protected him in a way. like on first glance no one gives him shit. if he were more femme than he probably wouldve gotten mocked. but like- exactly. he Was already getting mocked no matter what he does. and hes still not happy w himself.

so for irondeep first scene it has to maybe start w some introspection to bridge the timeskip but have to be an actual example i think. hardwon talking to someone else. maybe like random people he was at the dwarphanage with? random bronzebeard cousins? i need a reason for hardwon to be talking w these people, maybe its some kind of party? to feel like the feywild party he and moonshine were going to wasnt completely out of pocket

and then after this is the talking to jaina scene. maybe the morning after or smth. it needs to be the last scene that he opens up to jaina to lead into him having the courage to open up to moonshine more fully in the last chapter

also idk if i can fit it in but while i dont want to spend Too much time on bodily dysphoria i think i might throw in something abt hardwon never really feeling like his body was right, bc he was a human among dwarves, then a half-elf, something cobbled together always one of a kind and strange, so it surely means nothing that his face never felt like his, there was always that sense of disconnection, now that hes at the crick and known moonshine for so long he thought he’d be feeling better, but its a wound that still lingers

i think moonshine needs to confront it directly somehow. after all the only way he admitted his feelings for moonshine was after jaina prodded him a bunch. scene starts w some hardwon introspection to bridge the timeskip. maybe moonshine finds the hardwon portrait after the fact. or just says like “hey hardwon you know you can talk to me abt anything right?” hardwon is like omg this is so ominous. “um yeah totally. why?” moonshines just like “i guess youve just seemed kinda off lately”, maybe hes been a lot more closed off around her trying not to reveal anything, “and i know you like to keep those walls up, but… let me in every once in awhile, huh?” she asks quietly, “are you not happy living here?” and hardwon immediately goes “no no, its been amazing, i love it here. im happier than ive ever been.” in fact hes thinking like until he met moonshine he didnt even realize the extent of how deeply unhappy he was. like he was just surviving day to day back in irondeep before he left, and now that hes living here at the crick, the difference is like night and day, he still has bad days but its only now that he realizes his “good days” from before were still like so bad. he was so busy surviving before, unwilling to look too closely at himself for fear of just breaking down, and moonshine has opened up his world so much, that only now is he discovering new things he likes (like how much he loves crick food and culture) and new feelings abt himself (security in himself. belonging and family. in a sexual sense, things hes done w moonshine and also being bi lol). and this strange new thing he doesnt understand, now that his brain is letting things come to the surface he’d never had the space to process before.

so he says “its just me. im just figuring things out.” and moonshine goes “alright. i wont push, ik you need to figure things out for yourself sometimes. but…im here for you if you ever want it.” and hardwon is like what am i doing? what am i so afraid of? moonshine opened her home and her heart to him already. given him a special place in her life that she’s allowed to so few other people. she was there for him throughout their journey. if everything before hadnt pushed her away, if she really wants him here, asking her for help in understanding a weird feeling he has isnt going to be the thing that ruins their relationship. cant make this toooooo revelatory bc theres still the final scene but yknow. him cracking the wall a little. more abt him willing to let moonshine in a little but the finale is him accepting Himself after all the self-degrading language.

ends w hardwon admitting that he liked it when moonshine called him pretty. moonshine goes “oh is that it?” and hardwon frowns like its kinda a big deal, i was lowkey freaking out abt it… moonshine goes no no i just meant like. i can do that.

[natsadkid2]

27 March 2022 for latest update from this blog and now I’m back!

Re-draw project: Teenage magazine ft. Irwin and Barry💅🏻

This is original pic I drew ~3 years ago👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻, You can see some little details of their clothes that changed a little bit especially Irwin’s suspender belt for more fit to his jacket

If you winder why I put too much watermarks on new one lol, actually it’s a little joke that I wanted to do something different from my previous work that the watermark has only one, in the bottom right of the image. I just hope it can protect me from someone who will steal or re-upload my FanArt (actually this way can’t solve this problem that much but “at least” many ppl gonna know where is this pic from/ who’s real art owner when my arts were re-uploaded by another ppl)

Actually I don’t think before that one day I must post about this point, bc I think my arts aren’t famous or good that much to touch someone’s heart(?) until use it as a stuff for sending to wrestlers. Plus, there have many many artist whose has more opportunity to take more risks than me because I think they’re all better artist than me. But at last it still happened to little blog like mine💀look at this👇🏻👇🏻

I'm a wrestling fan from Thailand. Getting an autograph from each wrestler is very difficult and never happened to me(Whether it's a problem with currency units, banks, transportation costs that far away like on different side of the world, etc.) So, each wrestling Fanart I draw I don’t expect anything about money or even expect that they(wrestlers) will see my FanArt(bc they’re all old and not use any social media) . I’m drawing bc of self-relaxation/ make you enjoy my arts/ make you know that I like these wrestlers too. But there has someone expect money by using my art (that owner doesn’t expect anything) to be the way to earn little money, I just think it’s not fair Plus, if I got an autograph from my favorite wrestler on my Fanarts for real, I would definitely not sell it. Because it’s something that has sentimental value, cannot be measured in monetary terms. Meanwhile, some people can easily get a wrestler's autograph BUT didn't see its value, sold it for someone else , That’s horrible/ not cute/ not ✨FABULEUX✨ at all 🗣️🗣️

Until this day I still can’t describe my feeling about this, funny? Irritable? Or???😂. Bc at the same way, finally FanArt from Thai girl can reach the hands of uncle Mike and uncle Barry, they have seen my FanArt already. I can’t believe it happened to me

(⭐️Important point) You choose my ugly fanart lol I mean.. not many people understand that it’s WWF Highschool AU!!🤦🏻‍♀️can’t imagine how uncle Barry and uncle Mike gonna feel when reading wtf sentence on this art by don’t understand anything. They can’t access the imagination of young girl😂

And yes, this is my face when I scroll down the phone screen and see many old FanArt with weird lines and coloring lol. Too baddddd😵‍💫But I won’t delete them lol. Keep it as memories how far of my drawing development.

[shzmluvrs]

Hey girlypopd luv ur fics im from ur Wattpad account so mby I get favoritism jk but I rly rly luv ur Freddyxchubby reader bc I’m self obsessed an I think everything is about me but anyway I rly need more serotonin in life an hope this isn’t too much but can I get angst like a lot mby a little tiny bit of the self harmy stuff pls sry I hav problems an if ur uncomfortable writing that i totally get that Luv u <3

Girlll, don't you talk to ME about angst, you are looking at the QUEEN of thinking of overly angsty scenarios😙🤞🏽♡. Also, ty for the compliments on my previous work, ilyily it literally throws me over the moon (no, not you, Moon🥴💀💕). I really hope you enjoy thissss✨️!! Also, this totally doubles as a thank you for the artwork you did for us, I just *sobs♡*.

~ Star✨️

Not Your Fault

Prompt: Maybe it came from your own self-doubt. Or, maybe it stemmed from your parents and their need to overdo it with the scolding. Hell, maybe it was just something often reiterated to you by strangers. But, for as long as you could remember, things never seemed to go your way. More accurately, things never seemed to go right because of you. And it was only natural that you suffered the consequences of your own actions...

Even if it had to be by your own hand...

Timeline: Post S!: FOTG

TW/Content: Self harm (if that wasn't already heavily implied/said)⚡️AngstAngstAngstttt⚡️But then lots and lots of comfort⚡️Reader being cynical⚡️(very smol, dw) Thoughts/Talk/Mention of unaliveness, I think, but probably not⚡️Freddy being an absolute 😇💙saint💙😇 (most of the time)⚡️Readers parent(s)/sibling(s) being annoying

Reader: Fem! Reader She/Her/Hers Pronouns

Requested By: @lukkdukkyleak

Back to the Master List

'Snap'

. . .

'Snap'

You were stuck. This was the third time this had happened to you this week. On your conclusion, no less; the very last paragraph of your essay. You'd sit down, open up your Google document, read over your own writing for the zillionth time until you got to where you had left off...

And then, with intention to finish it up, write the last few sentences or so, you'd urge yourself to get right to work. Just start writing. Get it done. Do it.

And yet, you just... couldn't. Writers' block had now become your mortal enemy, and you'd do anything to get rid of it. Because if you didn't, it'd leave you with nothing to turn in. If you didn't have a final paper to turn in, you'd automatically fail this English class.

If you failed this English class, you wouldn't graduate in the Spring. If you didn't graduate, you wouldn't be allowed to cross that stage and get your diploma. If you didn't get your diploma, your parents would surely be more than disappointed. In you, in themselves for actually thinking you could do it...

You'd have to repeat the school year, do it all over again, just to circle right back to this final English paper. And again, you'd get stuck in your own head, fighting a mental block you couldn't even defeat right now. The cycle would go on, and natrually, it'd be your own doing. Or rather, you own undoing.

Your own fault. All because you can't write a conclusion.

'Snap'

"Did you hear me?"

Your head whipped up in a flurry, letting go of the hair tie pulling against your wrist to create one final 'Snap'. An accidental one, which gained a short wince out of you at its unexpected sting before you could even speak.

The boy in front of you took this as a sign that you were distracted, happy to repeat himself while he closed his laptop in order to see you better.

"I said, 'Do you wanna go to (Favorite Fast-Food) after school?'."

"Oh." You hummed, your eyes shifting away from his chocolate brown ones and back to your screen. At its mention, you were suddenly craving (F/FF). But you also knew better than to let yourself get distracted when you didn't have to. What was most important was this essay, and if you procrastinated any longer, you'd surely miss the due date, and-

"I'll pay." Freddy quickly added, sensing your hesitancy from his own seat before lighting up even further at your scoff. A dismissive one, sure, but it came with a smile he found hard to hate; elated that he had been the cause.

"Please, you can barely afford to get your lunch every day."

"See, m'kay, that's where you're wrong, right?" Freddy began, speed-talking as per usual, which always caused your smile to grow. "(Y/N), I saved up for a whole week so I can literally get us whatever. Those silly little drinks you like? Done. Or-or fries, or whatever? Done. I will buy you the whole menu, try me."

"Okay, okay, I get it." You laughed, knowing he had already convinced you. Persuaded, sure...

...And yet...

"I would, Freds, really. But, I don't think I should."

His head tipped to the side in confusion, curls falling with which almost caused an 'aww' to leave your lips. He stared, doe-eyed, expecting his answer because you denying (F/FF) was a first. It was a bit surprising, but your reasoning, once given, was valid.

"I need to get this paper done. Tonight. If I don't, I'll just...worry about it forever, and I won't be able to focus. Another time?"

He smiled at your compromise, the heel of his foot bouncing up and down in his seat as if he just couldn't wait for whenever "another time" would be. Hopefully soon, sending about a thousand nods your way before speaking.

"Yeah, sure, no problem!"

The bell rung, students around you rushing to pack their things away now that they were no longer confined to the hell that was Fawcett Central. You did the same, not that you were exactly excited to return to your own home. Your hopes lied in the assumption that you'd be able to rush quickly to your room. Not to be bothered for the rest of the night as you finished up your work.

"But like, are you sure, though?"

You tossed your head back, a joking groan escaping your lips as the two of you squoze yourselves between people in the hallways. And still, he went on in hopes to further convince you because, as it turned out, the boy had very little patience to wait until "another time." Something that he wasn't even sure would come.

Plus, as one would expect, he was only following his brother's advice...

"If you really wanna spend time with her, just go for it. And don't let her flake out or play hard to get. It'll show her you're persistent, and girls usually like that type of stuff. Let's them know you care."

And of course Freddy cared about you! So...

"I'm just sayin'! It'd be fun, and y'know, maybe you need a break."

"Freddy..."

"Plus...!" He interjected before you could go on. "When have I ever steered you wrong?"

"H-"

"And don't say gym class, or the Winter Carnival, or that one time with the Breyers, or that other time with the Breyers, or the glitter bomb, or...The Incident™..." He listed off with haste, all different scenarios/times where he had most definitely steered you wrong.

"Those were all just horribly timed coincidences that have nothing to do with how I operate."

"Oh, is that so?" You challenged with an amused giggle, Freddy sending you an assertive smirk right back.

"Very much so."

"And how are you so sure of that?"

"Come with me," he taunted lightly, effortlessly cycling the conversation right back to his initial goal. "Let me whisk you away, (N/N)... and you'll find out."

You couldn't help but shake your head at the dork in front of you, trying your very hardest to hold in a flattered smile at his antics. Walking backward down the stone steps as if he wasn't one off-balanced wobble away from tipping over. Sending you pleading eyes and a goofy grin along with the use of a nickname.

With the break of your own toothy smile, he knew he had won you over before you even had to say anything.

"Fine, fine...I'll go."

"Yes, yes, yes-yes-yes, I love it when you agree with me!"

"But just tonight!" You reminded, pointing an index finger that he simply grabbed, interlocking his own with it. "I'm off limits tomorrow. And Sunday!"

"Yeah, sure, you got it. You have the rest of the weekend left to do..." He waved his free hand around wildly, looking for the words he never found before finishing.

"I dunno, whatever it is you do."

"Thank god." You sighed half-jokingly, earning you a laugh you never got tired of.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

You were lucky to hear more of it, even if it wasn't in person. You reminded yourself of that over and over again as you walked home. Freddy insistent on the fact that even though he couldn't be there to walk you home himself, he'd at least stay on the phone with you until he knew you were safe.

But anyhow, you were repetitive on the fact that you had a good time, that you were lucky to listen to Freddy ramble on and on about tonight's prior festivities because of the simple fact that it had been keeping you distracted. Away from the troubling thoughts of guilt for not listening to your past self. Sure, you had a great time, but at what cost?

A waste of time to get your work done? No. No, no matter. It didn't matter now. You had done it, you had gone out and had a great time with your best friend. Now it was time to wind down and focus, return home and get your work done. You could still rely on yourself.

"Hey, it's late, I gotta go, Freds." You excused once your place had come into view.

"You make it home safe?" He double-checked, and you almost nodded, forgetting he wasn't physically there with you.

"Yeah, which is why I gotta go, dude."

"Alright, right, you're super duper busy, so I can't bother ya' anymore." He sighed through his words, smiling once he heard your quiet giggle on the other side of the line along with the jingle of your keys.

"I'll check on you Sunday."

"Wha-? Freddy, n-"

"Bye!"

And the line went dead, leaving you to purse your lips and scoff. It was a wonder you liked him, let alone had a whole crush on him, when he often times pushed at your boundaries. But, nonetheless, you were simply happy to know him at all, and-

No. No, focus. You were swift to set yourself straight, not wanting to get lost in your daydream-esque thoughts on the boy you'd been pining over for a couple of years now. That'd be your lamest reason yet on why you had deterred from your essay.

"(Y/N)...!!" The call of your name made you jump, erasing any thoughts you had about anything at all while attempting to pull yourself together at a reasonable speed. It ended with you anxiously tugging at the familiar blue hairtie around your wrist, not yet pulling it far enough back to release, but just enough to provide some odd comfort while your parent came tearing around the corner to your position in front of the door.

"Where have you been?" They asked, their tone laced with demand rather than actual worry as you stumbled to push out a viable excuse.

"I...was out with my friend, I just lost track of time."

"Mm." They hummed, never really truly satisfied with any answer you might've given as they looked you up and down. "I don't like you staying out so late, you know better. You didn't even call. You knew you had chores to do today."

"Sorry..." You mumbled, subjected back to the looming silence before they gave a roll of their eyes and sighed.

"Well, did you eat?"

"Yeah, I had (F/FF)."

"...Alright."

And that was that, your parent leaving you to yourself once again as you gratefully made the choice to head straight for your room. It was just as you left it when you had left for school early this Friday morning, which meant you had a bit of cleaning to do.

But surely, you could push that task back until later. It could always be done the moment you typed up the rest of your final paper. Without second thought, you sat on your bed and pulled open your laptop, as well as gathering any notes you might've needed together before reading over what's been typed so far.

. . .

You rubbed at your eyes until you were satisfied, your hands moving to slide above and push back your hair. As if you were ridding yourself of the exhaustion.

"Foucs, focus, focus..." You commanded yourself, repeating the word over and over again in your mind. Your fingers wandering back down to your wrist.

'Focus, focus, focus, focus...'

'Snap'

'Just focus...just write something. Just write a sentence. A word...'

'Snap'

"Ohh my goshhh..." You groaned under your breath.

'Snap'

Your (E/C) eyes wandered towards the bottom right corner of your screen, grazing over the time as if you were wasting it. Well, technically, you were. But you weren't at the same time, seeing as only a few minutes had passed since you've sat.

10:23p.m.

"Whatever, just...write." You commanded yourself further.

. . .

When your eyes wandered back to the time once more, you were left to fight the lump forming in the back of your throat.

1:04a.m.

So much time had passed, and not a single thing had been typed. You wanted to be mad at yourself but couldn't. You kept checking your phone, you kept talking to yourself, you just had to turn on the TV for "background noise"...

It looked like you'd be pulling an all-nighter this evening.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

You woke up feeling disoriented. Peaceful, sure, but only because your mind was still clouded with sleep, which left you to struggle at taking in your surroundings and the reason why your body ached.

In about another five seconds, all your memories had returned to you, and you now had the answers to all of your questions. You had fallen asleep, even after you had convinced yourself that you were going to pull an all-nighter. Even more disappointing, having fallen asleep at such an awkward angle left you with a crick in your neck that you couldn't sooth with a simple massage right away.

And to your dismay, your laptop displayed the essay that you very clearly hadn't touched. That you had fallen asleep on. You wanted nothing more than for it to finish itself at this point, but you knew better than to actually believe that would happen. Wishful thinking on top of all of the other worries you had swarming your mind. Just to set yourself straight, hastily reminding yourself you now had only the rest of today and tomorrow to finish it, you allowed yourself to stretch and shake away the rest of your drowsyness.

"What...?" You murmured the moment your finger had grazed over the touchpad, reading over the pop-up window in the middle of the screen.

You read it again in disbelief.

And then again, your anger rising at the key words; 'Remaining batter life' 'charging cable' '7%' '10 minutes of power'.

"No, no, no..." You whined, practically throwing yourself out of the bed. Your notes scattered everywhere, but you couldn't bring yourself to care as you desperately searched for the charger to your laptop. When you realized, after dumping out all of your backpack's contents onto the floor, that it wasn't even in there, you grew even more panicked, if possible. If not there, where?

Scouring your room for any sign of the black cord began to accumulate a bigger mess than had already been evident, but you found it worth it when you had finally spotted it under your desk, tangled with a bunch if other loose wires and cords which left you with the tedious work of untangling them.

By the time you had finished, your room an even bigger mess and your mind swarming with curses and exasperation, you had returned to your laptop a second too late. The screen was black and the power button on the top left corner refused to light back up, no matter how many times you pressed it until you finally had to accept the fact that it had officially died. It was only when you were mid-way through putting it on the charger and plugging it into the outlet when you also realized this meant your paper may have not been saved.

You couldn't even fathom the words to bring out of your throat in this instant, angry and inaduble grumbles leaving in their place as you fought the lump in your throat. It seemed you had just woken up and already couldn't catch a break, not that you really had anyone else to blame but yourself.

If you had just stayed up and done your work like you were supposed to instead of sitting there looking at the screen until you fell asleep, this wouldn't be happening to you right now.

"Ughh, stupid, stupid..." You berated yourself, tugging at the blue hair tie and letting it snap back consecutively. It didn't bring you any comfort, but you were convinced it was an act that helped you think better, or faster. And, like usual, it seemed to work as your (E/C) eyes glanced over to your phone.

It sat on the edge of your desk, certainly not dead when the charger was connected into it. You could quickly download Google docs and pray that it had auto-saved before your computer died, and if so, you could continue writing on your phone. You-

"Hey..."

Your head whipped around at the sound of your parent entering your room, now wanting nothing more than to roll your eyes the moment they gave a look of disgust at not just the state of your room, but your person as well.

Your clothes from last night were still disheveled, your hair more than likely a mess, and surely, the bags under your eyes weren't any more flattering.

"...You need to clean this room up, it's always such a mess in here. And you still didn't do your chores from last night, so when you're done, you need to get on that."

"Yeah, I know, I-"

"Don't tell me you know. Otherwise, it'd be done. Now get started so that we can leave."

Your sigh halted, words you couldn't quite shuffle in the right order escaping your lips in distressed stammers upon hearing the last sentence.

Leave? Leave where? You couldn't leave!

"I can't- Where are-? I have to write this essay, it's due Monday, I don't-..."

"(Y/N)..." They spoke your name through a groan, already brushing off what, to them, was just excuses. "I don't have the time to argue with you about this right now. We have errands to run, and it's bad enough that now we have to wait on you."

You wanted to apologize or... at least explain how the circumstances weren't exactly your fault. Not entirely...

Weren't they?

But it didn't matter. The words got stuck once again and your parent had left, meaning that your only hope of not letting this Saturday go to waste was to try and clean as fast as possible and do your work in the car considering you were stuck using your phone.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

'Well, that was a bust...' You thought, a scowl etched onto your face as though the expression were permanent. To say you were irriated would be the understatement of the century. Even more so when you couldn't place that agitation and blame onto anyone else but yourself.

If you hadn't procrastinated for so long, you wouldn't have an essay that decided your future to work on. If you didn't have an essay to work on, you wouldn't have felt so sullen about accepting Freddy's request to basically blow it off. If you hadn't accepted his request, you would've gotten home sooner to clean and do your chores. If you had done them sooner, you would've had more time to write, and maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't have fallen asleep so easily.

And then these errands would mean nothing to you other than a family outing because your work would be done, and you'd have nothing to worry about. But instead, and because of your incompetence, here you were trying your best to dodge and weave through crowds of other people doing their shopping. Trying your very hardest to type and walk in order to keep up with your family.

"I don't understand why you're moving so slow..." Your parent scolded lightly, urging you to do what you were already trying to do. Only your eyes lifted from the screen, just for a moment to shoot off a glare before returning to your screen and typing furiously.

Sure, your writers' block had finally cleared. But you could only ever get in a few words every couple of minutes before you had to look up to dodge. Or, be interrupted by your family, a sibling. An annoying one, at that...

"Yeah, weren't you just here yesterday with your boyyyyfrieeeend~?" They teased, leaving you to grumble.

"He's not my boyfriend. And yeah, but we went straight to (F/R) and ate at the food court, we weren't shopping."

Your sibling rolled their eyes.

"Whatever, just saying...it should be easier for you to keep up."

"(Y/N)?!"

Speak of the devil, you and your entire immediate family's heads whipping up at the obnoxiously loud call of your name. Your eyes searched high and low, all around until they landed on that familiar head of curls and the silver of a crutch.

"Oh, hi..." You awkwardly greeted, not even loud enough for him to hear it as he approached gleefully. Normally, at the presence of your family, you'd try and usher him away. Give him the hint not to intervene and make it awkward for everyone, but mostly you. But, seeing as your family hadn't even bothered to slow down, you figured a brief conversation wouldn't hurt.

Plus, upon noticing a couple of his siblings and Rosa behind him, you didn't want to come off as brash or rude.

"I thought you said you were gonna be busy?"

The question almost took you by surprise, but upon recalling last Friday, you realized that was pretty much what you had told him.

"I am! I just...I got caught up, it's weird..."

Sensing this wasn't enough of an answer or anything excusable, you spoke further. It had inevitably dug yourself a deeper hole, his brow raising in question.

"My parents, they're just...they wanted me to go shopping with them."

"Your...parents...?"

Oh, right...they walked off....

"Ye-Yeah, they are- They were here, but I lost track of them, so..."

You were aware of how unconvincing you sounded, letting a quiet sigh escape you before checking your phone. Your essay was still intact, and- Oh! That's a good word, 'intact'... You could do something with that, let's just...add it to the conclusion...and...

What you couldn't sense was how disinterested you looked to Freddy, the boy looking back to Billy for any type of further advice. All the brunette could do was shrug from afar, attempting to entertain Rosa, who wasn't at all paying attention to the events.

Hey, mother's got to shop🤷🏽‍♀️.

Either way, to him, it looked as though you were trying your hardest to avoid him. Freddy could feel his chest tighten at just the thought, wondering why that could possibly ever be the case. Why you had become so distant suddenly. And now, you'd barely even look at him?

"So, uh...what's the deal? Did I say something you didn't like?"

"Huh?"

You hadn't looked up, leaving him to reluctantly fill in the blank for you.

"...The other night. When we went out. On that date..."

Now, this caught your attention. Your head cocked back, and your brows knitted incredulously.

"Date? That wasn't a date, I thought we were just hanging out."

'...Was...that a date?' You thought swiftly when you heard the words leave you own mouth, having not entertained such an idea before. But, now that Freddy had said something-

"(Y/N), I literally took you to your favorite place and paid for everything. And then we went to the arcade, and got milkshakes, and...well, I was gonna walk you home, but that didn't work out, as you know, since...you were there..."

"Oh."

You hadn't a clue of what to say, and the longer the silence hung over you two, the more worried you grew. Was that really a date? He didn't technically ask you out to date. He said he wanted to hang out. Maybe it was implied in his tone, and you missed it because you had been so focused on your essay.

But certainly, wasn't your essay tons more important than any date or whatever? If you hadn't gone, you would've had the whole weekend to go out on a date. Right?

Also, where the hell had your family gone? Did they even stop to think that you could really use an out right now? You had no idea what to say!

"Well, to be honest, I really shouldn't have gone at all if you think about it..."

So, you spoke without thinking. And immediately, you could tell that was the wrong answer, the words even stinging your own self the second they came out. Freddy's hurt expressions stinging even more as you lowered your phone.

"But you have time to be out and about with your 'parents'?" Why did he say parents like that? Did he not believe you? "Okay, cool. Awesome."

"I am! Was! They're here, I didn't have a choice, they made me come." You explained hastily. "Plus, I am busy. This paper is super important for me to get done, you know that."

"Yeah, I do. I also know that it was assigned months ago... why would you be doing it now, last minute?"

Holy shit... he really didn't believe you...

But it's not like you wanted to admit you had stupidly put it off for so long, either...

"Freddy..." You sighed, tossing your arms in uncertainty of what to say next. All you had was excuses. "...I didn't mean it. What I said. I'm just-"

"-Busy, yeah, I know."

More tense silence filled with the idea that you were losing him. Not only as a crush, but as your established friend as well. And god, were you trying desperately to mend it before it broke. You clicked your phone off, shoving it into your pocket completely out of sight.

"We can walk around right now if you want. Just until I have to leave?"

"Nah."

Ouch.

"I... don't want to walk on my leg more than I have to. See you around, (Y/N)."

. . .

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

... 'Snap'!

"Stop doing that, it's annoying."

And you did, for a mere moment just to give a side eye towards your sibling before continuing.

Pull... 'Snap'!

Pull... 'Snap!

P u l l. . . 'SNAP'!

"Ow..." you winced.

"Would you stop it?"

"Shut up...!"

"Hey...!" The warning yell of one of your parents stopped the bickering and the rubber band pulling, but it didn't make you want to cry any less.

"Cool it back there. This is supposed to be a nice family outing..."

If anything, it made you want to cry more.

"Well, I didn't want to even be here, so..." You mumbled.

And it was true, you didn't, having wished you had protested more earlier. Then maybe your essay would be done by now. And maybe Freddy would still be your friend...

You cried.

Well, not in the car. But you did the second you finally arrived back home, to the haven and privacy of your room to let it all out. Frustrated and defeated, your wrist still stinging and itching with welts you knew the hair tie snapping would create. But you didn't care, at least, not about the last bit. It was stress relieving, so at least it counted for something good. It was done with good intent, and wasn't that all that mattered? Wasn't that enough?

Shouldn't that be enough for Freddy? He was- No, he is your best friend. And sure, you might've unintentionally pushed him away, but it was for a greater good. You were sure. Blocked him out with a good intention, if... that even existed. So, with such logic, apologizing and molding things back to normal should be a simple task, yes?

Yes, good. Perfect. That made it easy to set aside for a later moment, hastily wiping your tears and taking in small breaths before setting yourself at your desk. Not the bed, because you would not be falling asleep this time. You would write, write wrute, type, type, type until you were done. And that's final.

. . .

There it was again. That blocking feeling. But it came back different this time, unusual and almost unfamiliar to the normal writers' block.

Freddy. Freddy. Freddy.

That's what it was. That's all it was. The words you had said, his face twisted in disappointment and sadness running through your mind over and over again. How you had hurt him.

Ugh, you couldn't do this.

9:30p.m.

You couldn't bear it. And, pathetic enough, you couldn't even bring yourself to text him. To let him know it was all your fault. To even just apologize.

You went to bed.

You'd cram all of your needed tasks in tomorrow with a fresh, clear mind...

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

This time, you had awoken to complete silence. And way later than last time, which you supposed was needed due to the fatigue of Friday through Saturday's events...

Upon doing some further snooping around the house, you had gathered the fact your family had gone out without you this time. And albeit you couldn't help but feel a little hurt, nobody having even attempted to wake you let alone invite you, you knew it was overall in your best interest.

You had a conclusion to write. After an afternoon breakfast and a fresh pair of comfy clothing, you situated yourself right back at your desk. Your laptop fully charged. Any and all disturbances out of sight, therefore out of mind. And eventually, after a good stare at the words already there, at the florescent blue light of the screen, the creative juices began to flow. You were off...

The blessing of finally being able to write lasted for only a few more hours, the sun setting and the noise of the city outside becoming evident as you leaned back in your seat for a break. A good stretch and rub of the eyes, a well-deserved swallow or two of water...

'Bonk-Bonk-Bonk'

Your brows knitted, lips unconsciously forming a pout at the consistent sound against your window. It confused you, the noise something you hadn't heard in a while. Something you only ever heard when expecting-

"Oh my god, Freddy...!" You gasped, having walked over and cautiously slid open your window. The sight of him scared you enough to practically jump back as he came tumbling onto your floor. A fall that worried you, of course, but neither of you could focus on that given a mere, lazy collapse to the ground seemed like nothing compared to the rest of his injuries.

"Oh my god, Freddy..." You repeated in utter dismay, covering your mouth with your palm for maybe a split second before you were immediately stooped by his side in order to help him sit up.

"What happened, why are-? Oh my god, there's so much bl-"

"-I'm okay, I'm okay..." He reassured quietly, moving his hand up and down as if to say, "Calm down." Not that it did any good, your eyes scanning over each and every cut and/or bruise you could find before delivering your final questions.

"What are you doing here? You...need a doctor or-or something, how did this even happen?"

He laughed, almost as if there were something funny that you didn't get. Some twisted inside joke. Twisted, because it left him...well... like this.

"Being a superhero is harder than it looks, (N/N)..."

A pause.

"Are you delirious or something? I- Y'know what? Okay, I-... Stay there, don't move."

As if he'd even try. He watched as you jogged out of your room, able to hear you rummaging around in your bathroom for medical aid while his brown eyes scanned your room. It seemed to have remained in the same state as when he last saw it; neat and tidy, minus a few distraught blankets and cords. He traced a thick, gray one up to your desk, noticing it was plugged into your still on and running laptop.

His brows furrowed. He could see the small words, even from his place on the floor by your window and almost wanted to slap himself.

You really were finishing up an essay. The easy, if anything. Instead, he chuckled. Of course you waited until the last second to do it. How (Y/N) of you.

He had to fight off his blush (and a startled jump) when you came rushing back into the room, arms filled with supplies and a worried expression etched onto your face.

"We didn't have a lot, but I really don't want your cuts to get infected..." He heard you mumble, shakily pouring bits of alcohol onto a cleaning pad.

"It's gonna sting..." You warned, Freddy nodding as fast as he could and sending you the wave of a hand, already knowing and preparing himself for the sensation. And when it came, he bit his lip to hold back what would've been squeak coming from his throat.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry..." You soothed through whispers, wrapping and/or bandaging as quickly yet accurately as you could. "You really should've gone to the E.R., Freddy, I can't-...I feel-...I can only do so much."

"Geez, you really don't want me around much, huh?" He joked, but even you could see the way it held some truth as your actions slowed, looking into his eyes in hopes he saw the truth in yours.

And if not, you'd damn sure say it.

"Freddy, please..." It was almost a scoff, but your tone had dwindled into something much more sincere. "Of course I want you around. I always want you around, you-. . . You make me happy, especially when a lot of things don't. Okay?"

He seemed to be mulling your words over, the boy shuffling every now and again at any certain pain that felt a little too sharp, or when you squoze a bruise a bit too hard.

"I-... It just doesn't feel that way, I guess. Sometimes, I wonder if you even like me." Again, he laughed as though he had spewed a funny joke. You couldn't return it, simply shocked at such a theory before quickly debunking it.

"I like you a lot!!"

. . .

"Sorry, that was...loud." You apologized, earning you another laugh at such sudden passion. "But I do like you, why wouldn't I? I just...had a lot on my plate recently, and I didn't know how to handle it. Especially telling you, so I just...I dunno, I guess I pushed you out, hoping you'd just... know."

Freddy smiled, one that exuded comfort and understanding before pushing your hand to the side so he was able to look at you properly. To hold your cheek in the palm of his hand and admire your face, watching at how you didn't even fight to melt into his touch.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. "I'm sorry that I didn't understand. I'm your friend, so, it's kind of the one job I had and I failed... but, I don't want you to ever feel like you can't talk to me. Or that I won't help you when things get difficult."

And for an extra touch, he gave your hand a squeeze of reassurance. The same hand which held the pad of alcohol in it. You hadn't noticed it when droplets went rushing down your hand and to your wrist, too caught up in the moment. All too ready to express your gratitude and mutual appreciation for him.

But you sure as hell noticed it when it stung you. Burned you, felt more like it, leaving you to let out more winces and whimpers than Freddy had during the cleaning off all of his injuries combined.

"Woah, hey, what's up? You okay?"

"Yeah, just-"

You were fast to yank your hand away, squeezing the sleeve of your sweater around your wrist in an attempt to aid the stinging feeling you were experiencing. This confused Freddy. Enough so to where he forced himself to fully sit up so he could properly inspect whatever was causing you any pain. It was bad enough that he had left you emotionally distraught and that he now needed you to take time off from your work just to help him heal from his recklessness...

The least he could do was return the favor of medical help.

"Here, lemme' see."

You didn't even get to go, "No!" yanking your wrist away from his gentle hold once again in a flurry of panic and unexpectedness.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

You eyes were wide and you didn't understand why you felt such dread. A fear of him seeing what you had never shown anyone, even though it had never occurred to you to be upset about someone finding out before.

Er...not that you were hiding it. Were you?

"It's...nothing, I'm fine. Just let me finish cleaning you up so I can-"

"Hey..." Freddy stopped your swift movements, his heart pounding at just the mere thought of you hiding anymore pain from him. Had someone done something to you? If so, he should've been the one protecting you. It was now his turn to experience the feeling of anxiety swelling in his chest.

"You can tell me, it's alright. I won't be upset, just... talk to me. Okay? Trust me."

And you did. You didn't know if it was his words or the tone laced within them. Whether you were just tired of fighting it or being upset with him. Or him being upset with you. Tired of pushing him away and... who knows? Maybe if he knew, then you could stop...

You slowly inched your arm in his direction, visibly shaking from both the sting of the remaining alcohol and the piling nerves as he steadily bunched up your sleeve.

At first, there was no expression. No words, no nothing. Was he even processing what he was seeing? The red, fine-lined welts up and down your wrist and forearm, some older and healing, some... very fresh. It made you so jarringly aware of how hard you had actually been snapping the hair tie all of this time.

"(Y/N)....what-"

"It was supposed to help." You interjected, fighting back tears you hadn't even noticed arrived. "I read this thing on this website somewhere, and I just- I- I read it, and..."

Tripping and stumbling over your words made you want to just give up all over again. And yet, even though you refused to look up to see the expression of disappointment on Freddy's face, you could feel it. And that was just enough for you to keep desperately grabbing at straws to defend your wayward actions.

"I... I used to...do worse, I was messed up. Really messed up, and it was the only thing that made me feel better. Relief, I mean, maybe not better, but-..."

You choked back a cry.

"I read this thing, and it said that a good alternative as a way to stop would be to snap a hair tie instead. It-It's less than... y'know... and it...I-...I'm sorry."

"(Y/N). . ." Freddy started his sentence with nothing more to say after the whisper of your name, watching as you couldn't help but finally burst into tears right there on the floor in front of him. It was a moment in time when he realized there was nothing much he could say or do, only wanting nothing more than for you to be okay.

"Please don't cry, it's not... it isn't your fault, (N/N)."

You couldn't pull yourself together enough to elicit proper words, wishing you could just express everything you were feeling in one go. Or at least console Freddy because that's what he came over for, after all. He needed you to be there for him, patch him up, and you couldn't even do that. Instead, things have come down to being all about you again.

Little did you know, it's not like Freddy much cared. He'd rather things be all about you and you be okay rather than no one giving you the time of day and you're suffering.

"Here, c'mere..." The boy urged, pulling you closer on his own accord when you didn't budge. "I'll clean them for you this time."

You nodded in thanks as you leaned against his chest, watching carefully through your tears as he slipped the pad of alcohol from your grip gently and began to pour some more onto it.

"And when I'm done," he continued. "There won't be a next time where I'll need to do this, 'cause we're gonna find some even better alternatives together, 'kay? Better than a hair tie."

A silence lingered in the air as you sniffled, only speaking up just before he could press the pad to your welts.

"...You mean like... like a scrunchie?"

. . .

"Pfft-!"

Freddy attempted to shield his laugh away from you, but quickly didn't bother anymore as your broken laugh joined in at your own distasteful joke.

"That's- No, you're- Oh my gosh, that's awful..." He spoke through giggles he fought to contain, even though the comment seemed to lift the both of your spirits instantly. Well, until he had to clean up your wrist...

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

Freddy's brows furrowed when he realized the sounds of your winces and hisses were no longer to be heard, even when he'd press the damp pad to your wrist or forearm. He was about done, anyways, but he stopped to check on you and became flattered to see that you had fallen into a peaceful sleep against him.

He smiled down at you, admiring you for as long as he could while finally wrapping up your arm the same way you had his cuts and bruises. And, though he would've been more than happy to hold you like this for as long as he could (yes, even if it was on your floor), he looked around the room and was swift to realize there were still a few more tasks that needed completing.

But, most important, your essay. Considering the amount of emotional turmoil it seemed to have caused you over the weekend, he figured it should be something you no longer had to worry about. As carefully as he could without waking you, and scooted and withered his way out from under you, allowing you room to stretch out against the floor. It couldn't have been the best of comfort, but he'd address it later, making his way over to your desk and in front of your open laptop.

. . .

When you woke back up, you were alarmed to no longer feel the weight of Freddy's arms around you. It made you pop straight up, your head and eyes looking around the room like a baby bird who had just hatched until finally, they landed on the body sprawled across your bed.

You almost wish it were you, your mattress much comfier than the ground beneath you. He really just left you there on the floor and took up all of the space, pillows, and blankets, huh?

You eventually urged yourself to stand, knowing you'd have to clean up a little bit at some point and finish your paper before you could join him, but stopped right in your tracks when you noticed the change in screen.

Assignment Due: Monday, 9:30a.m.

Status: Turned In/Completed

"...What, bro...?" You muttered through a rasp of drowsiness, changing directions to head for your desk rather than the clothes and lose trinkets on your floor.

Once you were able to scroll through and read your submitted essay, which you at first thought you might've accidently turned in unfinished on accident, you skimmed over the end and were more than elated to see it had magically finished itself.

Well, okay, maybe not magically...

You looked back to Freddy's sleeping figure, grinning ear to ear at what you knew was his kind gesture. Finishing your paper for you. You'd have to thank him a thousand times in a thousand ways, as many as you could think of. Words couldn't express how grateful you were, not only for him doing your essay but for him in general. You stared at your wrapped up arm, finding yourself smiling harder than you thought possible.

"I love you." You spoke aloud, flopping onto the bed without much care, simply full of giddy for how much you adored having Freddy in your life.

"You're so-"

"...I love you, too..."

You perked up when his sleep murmurs interrupted the start of more praises, smiling down at him in both fondess and amusement as he wrapped an arm around you. Unconsciously...

He had responded to you in his sleep.

Was that a lame ending, or was that the 'Boom, super profound mega happy ending' I saw it to be in my head...?

Idk yall, you tell me 'causeeee....💀✋🏽. But seriously, I really hope you liked this, I finished it up right when my sickness finally went away so, yeah💕🥴.

~ Star✨️

Back to the Master List

[valley-of-the-lost]

I would’ve posted this on twitter but I can’t fit all my thoughts in a tweet and honestly fuck making a thread.

Translated character bios are from @be-bi-do-crime​ on their twitter, also under a cut for novel spoilers sake.

Speculation for drama plot under the cut, here we go.

Tian Yao doesn’t sound that much different from his novel counterpart. This is pretty much how he is/what happens to him in the novel, and his motivations appear largely the same.

I do love that they point out he’s manipulative because my god he is. When you’re reading the novel you don’t realize just how manipulative he is until the reveal that Yan Hui also has his neidan and he nudged her towards practicing demonic cultivation to nurture it for when he was (initially) planning to take it back.

“Captain of the wife protection team” lmaooo hell yeah he is, Mr. “I already have all my body parts” (novel readers will understand that reference god bless).

Okay so some of the foundations for Yan Hui’s character are intact. She’s still a (former) xian cultivator, she was born with heart problems hence Tian Yao’s Heart Protection scale and neidan saving her life, she was expelled from Chen Xing Mountain, and she’s money and food oriented.

Though it’s here where we’re starting to see major diversions.

“Because [Yan Hui] accidentally blew up the sealed demon tower and was expelled from Chen Xing Mountain...” --> implies this is now the reason in the drama that she was expelled from her sect. In the novel it was because she released fox demons and attacked a fellow cultivator, Ling Fei.

Without additional context, this concerns me. I was already a bit concerned because I didn’t see anyone cast for Ling Fei on MDL, but it seems she might’ve been written out entirely and I’m not sure how exactly they’re going to compensate for her absence.

Because the role Ling Fei occupies in the novel is not an insignificant one. She’s Yan Hui’s main personal antagonist, driving Yan Hui to sympathize with the plight of the demons more and even being the reason for why Yan Hui was expelled from Chen Xing Mountain in the first place. Her actions are what push Yan Hui over the edge to start practicing demonic cultivation, so Ling Fei drives quite a bit of Yan Hui’s arc.

The way it’s phrased here, that Yan Hui instead accidentally blew up a sealed demon tower as opposed to willingly released demons from prison, does sort of diminish her agency in the events leading up to her banishment. I’m willing to see if either this is just an iteration of how it happened in the novel or, if it is changed, how they compensate for it.

It’s interesting that the character blurb puts so much emphasis that Yan Hui was the one who fell for Tian Yao first, though I can’t tell if its trying to say she fell in love or lust with him, or both. The latter is somewhat true in the novel, because she did find him physically attractive, but Yan Hui didn’t start cultivating butterflies in her heart at the sight of Tian Yao under she got hit with the fox blood charm fragrance. Which makes me wonder if they’re going to amp up her physical attraction to him for the first arc.

I don’t know if her apparently being “brainwashed” into practicing demonic cultivation is referring to Yan Hui being literally brainwashed by some other third party or it’s referring to how Tian Yao manipulated her towards it to nurture his neidan and prepare it for when he’d take it back.

Now, what REALLY makes me raise an eyebrow is the last sentence. Demon king Fu Yin? Is he our big bad, replacing Zhenren Qing Guang? If so, I’m curious to see how he’s tied into the romantic struggle for the main leads... and also if he’s just reskinned Qing Guang.

“...ancient and weird” wow attacking my girl right out of the gate huh 💀💀.

So immediately Huan Xiaoyan is more fleshed out than her novel counterpart and seems to have more of her own storyline than just being Yan Hui’s adopted daughter and helper.

Since her home has changed from the river that was being used to cleanse Yan Hui’s cultivation to a foggy forest, I have to wonder what Yan Hui and Tian Yao were doing in the forest in the first place.

Her clan is still basically all dead, but it seems that when Yan Hui and Tian Yao meet her has been moved to before the Qingqiu arc as opposed to during. Her romance with Zhuli is intact too though I hope they get more development as a couple.

My big question is WHO IS “THE PUPIL MASTER???” Is it Fu Yin??? Su Ying?? Qing Guang hiding somewhere??? The king of Qingqiu’s late wife??? Some antagonist we haven’t seen yet??? WHO IS IT??? WHO ARE YOU!!!

Okay, okay, Bai Xiaosheng’s character blurb is a whole can of worms.

It appears he is occupying the role of second male lead, and he’s tied up in this whole Fu Yin business the drama is introducing.

So Fu Yin is looking for some kind of unspecified treasure... does this mean the main storyline is no longer just getting Tian Yao’s body parts back? Why does this treasure need a pair of “fated people” to find it?

This also implies that either the entire or major parts of the Qingqiu arc have changed, as well as Yan Hui and Tian Yao’s motivations for going to Qingqiu. It also makes me further suspect that the reason why Yan Hui was banned from her sect was changed because the whole point of her releasing the fox demons was for her to have an early rapport with Zhuli, who gets the main couple to Qingqiu, and Bai Xiaolu, who no longer seems to exist.

That Bai Xiaosheng can apparently hide in Yan Hui’s shadow to protect her is reminiscent of novel Huan Xiaoyan’s ability to hide in Yan Hui’s ring.

Also oh dear. It seems Tian Yao will betray Yan Hui??? By taking the Heart Protection scale from her early???????

?????

It increasingly seems that Fu Yin is indeed the Big Bad of the drama considering how many times its been said that the main couple is resisting him.

I... honestly don’t know if they’re going to keep the discrimination against the demons conflict that drove a lot of plot points in the novel. It seems like they’ve stripped or changed a lot of events that were initially driven by the tension between the xian cultivators and the demons.

And I’m honestly at a loss as to why.

I’m not really mad, just confused, because with the (admittedly little) info we have so far I just can’t fathom why these changes are what they are. Some I can intuit, like having a second male lead because its basically a romance drama staple. Others... not really, like the removal of the xian-demon conflict underpinnings, especially when it seems in line with what a lot of xianxia dramas do, with one side being slandered and discriminated against by what would be perceived as the more stereotypically righteous group.

I’m still more than willing to let the drama play itself out first so I at least know the full context of what these changes are though, if anything it did feed my curiosity to see what is done with these new/reshuffled plot points.

Here’s to hoping it drops in May finally and has a banger opening song!

Again, in case you forgot, credit to @be-bi-do-crime​ for these blurb translations and for furthering the Tianhui agenda!

[mosviqu]

IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH AND I HATE ALL OF THE THINGS I GOT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS ERA THEIR HARD WORK IS NOT APPRECIATED ENOUGH WAHHH

i didn't even have the motivation to check out the last song from them ngl💔💔very sad about them but maybe i will like it after watching music shows lmao i wont give up (fully) on the 03liners💔 WAITTTT TRUE HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT INTAK WHAT THE HECK I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT HIM (and same i saw that they are having a cb and i was like:o i forgot about u guys:o) AN AMAZING CREW!!!! also would selfishly add enhypen sunoo he is a lovely 03 liner as well🥹 (idk know mcnd☹️☹️ i heard like 2-3 of their songs but i never checked them out☹️ BUT IM HAPPY THERE IS AN 03 LINER IN THERE!!!)

IT IS IMPORTANT BUT IM STILL NOT SURE IF ITS 100% TRUE😭 i love keeho so much like that was the point where i was like yeah u are going to be my fav from here!! seeing the screenshots of it still makes me laugh so much

i can imagine that😭 my sister was in the exact same situation as u💀

IT WAS!!!! dino is lovely and i would love to see u being his body guard ngl🤣 I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DIDNT DO IT💔💔just such a big heartbreak💔💔ALSO TALKING ABOUT TREASURE DID U HEAR THE SNIPPET HE POSTED OF A SONG??? it sounds very great imo

I CAN SO RELATE TO THAT!!! english is so hard without english classes i never realized that till now💔 i only talk in english with my sister but it's a mess i even just struggle to put together sentences now😭 writing my replies takes so much brain cells from me so i always just pray that u will get what i'm trying to say even if it's not correct lmao🥸 RECORDING VLOGS IS SO MUCH FUN!! i did it for a while and it was so amazing so i recommend it only sent them to my bestie but it was actually so funny😭 THE BRITISH PEOPLE GOT US REAL HARD💔

(AHHH THANK U SO MUCH;-; I APPRECIATE IT!!! HANBIN!!! I HOPE U WILL HAVE MORE MOMENTS OVER HIM LMAO HE IS VERY GREAT😌 although be careful with asking me about zbone members cuz idk three of them;-; but working on it🤞 and u can tag me or message me ofc i dont mind🥹💕) (liebestraum anon🥳💕)

LITERALLYYYY i saw a tiktok where it compared all the other dances where its a member x woman (ten or baek) and it said "so this is okay, but this isnt?" showing enha and the comments were like "we are the problem" LMAO so at least they are self-aware.

no because i was really disappointed too >:(( but the title track still slaps i said what i said. watched them perform it too and they have cute bubbly vibes i am heartbroken for the lack of interest from my side. NO BC WHEN I STARTED BIASING INTAK AND REALISED HE WAS A 03 LINER I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. ((still am a jiung girlie at heart tho). i am really excited for their cb tho it sounds amazing!!! HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT SUNOO WHAT THE FUCK AAAAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY he's my fav 03 liner. ((there are actually 2 03 liners in mcnd but i forgot the other one LMAO i honestly cant remember their names anymore but i had a very short mcnd phase lol. all i know is that i'd die for minjae thats all)

i would honestly be a good bodyguard bc i have a lot of rage in me. like i could fully fight someone if i was mad enough LMAOO. everything for dino baby <3 I DID SEE THE SNIPPET I LOST MY SHIT LOWKEY HIGHKEY I AM SO EXCITED AAAAAAA

i mean english isnt really hard for me if we are talking abt writing and stuff but speaking out loud is more difficult if you don't regularly do it >:( dont worry we are on the same wavelength i always know what u mean w your replies AHAH sometimes i speak in eng w my roommate bc she is an english major (she only picked the major bc of me and then i ended up doing psychology so i owe her this bc her english isnt as good as mine) I USED TO RECORD VLOGS W MY BROTHER but we never posted them thank god. i'm still down to do it honestly its so fun LMAO

hanbin.......i looked up his name on tiktok once and now my fyp is filled with him and im so in love he's so cute and adorable and sweet like i saw clips of ppl giving him letters and how much he loves getting them and even asked if anyone has letters for him please zb1 fans give him letters!!!!!! no bc i only know ricky, hanbin, zhang hao and matthew :,) but the more i see them on my fyp the more i am convinced to stan once they debut like i legit debated on watching boys planet yesterday bc i lowkey like survival shows but when i found out the eps are 2 hours long i decided to just....not...do that...

also a small update on the tbz recs i did some progress and i really liked diamond life and survive the night :p i have like 11 songs left from the ones u recommended LMAO but yeah i loved those two

[simpingwriter]

Cal Kestis x Kyra Yarmot

'In the Name of Love' pt.9

Yeah I had prouder days of writing this book... I really don't like how this chapter turned out, I literally dragged myself from sentence to sentence because I had no clue how to progress the story...the last Chapters between the Final Chapter are literally going to be the bane of my existence 💀💀

Try to Enjoy! :')

Word Count: approx. 3.107 Words

___________________

Cal was gone.

He left yesterday morning, leaving a note that he would return in the evening, that you shouldn't wait for dinner with him.

That – in a matter of minutes for you – turned out to be a big fat lie, a lie he begged you to keep secret from the others. For reasons he couldn't even tell you...he had never been so cryptic with you before.

So when he didn't return as promised, Merrin was first to begin to worry, along with you – though you did it to seem less suspicious. Greez then did as well, pacing the ship as he pondered the holomap like an Orb that would magically answer all of your questions combined, something you could've needed more than anyone else right now. And it was just very odd to see…people only really started to show they cared when the damage had already been done…damage that couldn't be reversed or be undone.

And Cere was Cere...still staying calm, even 24 hours after he didn't return. Said that maybe he ran into some simple trouble, namely a Trooper Group that potentially overwhelmed him and that he had to hide out for a while – something that already sounded very far fetched…24 hours…Cal would not have taken that long. She tried to calm the others down that way, that Cal wasn't stupid or weak, that he would return sooner or later.

And even though you knew that this was very much wrong, you did your part of the lie – and to look for any clues about where he might've gone – and told everyone that you would go out to look for him.

Recon, it wasn't a difficult expedition type for you – it was the only thing the Clone Team let you do back then without dying of worry – you could fly high above the ground and had still near perfect vision, you could spot a person from almost all the way up in the clouds. But any kind of storm in the atmosphere made your expedition slightly more risky or at least more of a struggle.

While you would expertly maneuver the open skies of planets, usually no matter the temperatures or the wildlife, storms were the bane of your existence. One unforeseen extreme gust of wind from a different direction than you were gliding or actively trying to fly in and you were at risk of being thrown around like an empty plastic bag.

There had been only three moments in your life until now, where you used your wings and high velocity winds to your advantage instead, but they had also probably been the most risky stunts you pulled all the way up there, in a place were nobody is able to catch your plummeting weight if you ever miscalculate a distance or similar...

You were clearly born to soar through the skies of the Galaxy, alone...but born to...unfortunately that exclusiveness also left you all on your own in an emergency.

"Are you sure about going out now? The weather map is mentioning a high spike of potential hail in the next two hours…" Greez asked with understandable worry, likely seeing the problem your wings could be having with such weather conditions. Hail corns, if big enough with high velocity, could put a straight up hole into your wing membrane – something you knew no way of fixing such serious injury, it usually was mentioned to have crippled your kinds' warriors for life... – no matter its exceptional toughness.

But you had to go out now, no matter the danger you'd put yourself into. If you waited out the hail…the water from the hail melting could wash away even the very last trail and scent he might've left by accident, the latter nearly imprinted from all the times you two were cuddling and generally hanging out close together. "Yes, yes I am. If…if he's still out there, he will be left all alone in the cold of said Hail as well…"

From the corner of your eyes you were most certain Cere was about to comment about your recklessness, maybe a tasteless one too.

How you shouldn't endanger yourself for Cal.

If she knew what he meant to you, what this uncertainty did to your mental state, she would know that you didn't have any other choice.

And you would've not been able to hold back if she had opened her mouth right now.

You would've asked her why she wouldn't want Cal to be brought to safety while you, with your unique abilities, still could ensure that. That that was probably no longer happening, that he was probably no longer on Zeffo all together, you obviously would not be able to tell her all that. But that made her all the more…wrong…to you.

From her unaware point of view, Cal is about to be caught in a freezing, dangerous Hailstorm and she actually thought…she almost had the audacity to tell you to stay put! To potentially leave one of the maybe last Jedi left that could help her in her plan – a plan that included more and more near lethal and dangerous missions, missions and Tasks she always pushed onto Cal and now you as well! – in life threatening conditions!

"And I won't let anyone stop me, Cere…he is my friend and we...you "need" him for your mission, so don't even think about it…"

Oops, did you still slightly call her out either way? What a bad Girl you were!

Oh pleaseee...go kark yourself!

Grabbing your lightsaber – which you never actually got the time to clean because of the shock – and the small rations pack, one that you could sling over your shoulder, off the Coffee table, you quickly order Greez to open and lower the ship's door. Even if he didn't do it himself, you knew perfectly well where the button was.

Fortunately, for everyone's wish to cause less drama than needed, he followed promptly and the heavy door hisses open. The weather was still stable, but dark clouds in the distance unfortunately held true to Greez's unlucky weather forecast. Couldn't he have just…kept it to himself, for once!? Maybe then they magically wouldn't have appeared that soon or so threateningly then…

"BD? Are you com–" "No, I am not letting you take the Droid with you into this dangerous weather, Kyra! He carries the last messages of Cordova, the only clues we have left!" Cere unfroze from her spot after your sudden change in demeanor, quickly stepping in as the small BD-Unit automatically started sprinting to follow your heavy footsteps off the sloped mechanical door. When he didn't reach you after what she said, you turned around to look at what took him so long.

She had picked him off the ground, holding him at his square head as he struggled in her hands, obviously resulting in nothing but her tightening her grip. "BD, you can't go with her, it will be too dangerous in such heights for you…" That wasn't fully true, you had carried him and Cal across Kashyyyk at least twice already. BD loved it when you let him see all the planets your got to visit from all the way up there, sometimes he even got to scan air particles his filters picked up and intriguing high up places he and Cal would've never reached on foot.

And BD made sure to continue showing his protest, beeping loudly and continued to kick in the air, some beeps being quite blunt curse words, which you seriously didn't expect from the small Droid, wondering if that is actually the Droid that seemed extremely childlike to you and Cal on most days...

But you still had to unfortunately play into some lie Cal built his whole disappearance on…so you couldn't just run with your horns against this metal wall and fight against Cere on every single occasion even though she gave you way too many chances to do exactly that.

"I guess she's right, BD. Maybe it's better if you set this one out? And don't you worry, I'll bring Cal back home safely, I promise!"

The fruitless struggles stopped abruptly as began speaking to the Droid, BD staring down at you, the height difference coming from you already down the slope, and for whatever reason you could swear you saw the almost human hurt in his optics. Because he knew the same thing you did.

'Be careful, Kyra…please. Cal wouldn't want you to get hurt because of him.'

Right he is. Cal surely wouldn't want that. He probably wouldn't have wanted you to investigate Zeffo for trails of him either, since he told you where he went could be potentially dangerous for even you.

Giving BD a small smile of a goodbye and a nod, you turn to leave without another look at the rest of the crew and the woman that had to have been the catalyst for his rushed decision.

Though…right now you felt the doubt in this having been as rushed as he made it seem with his odd behavior in the recording, you remember the weirdly off limits part in his thoughts, the weird glimmer in his eyes since multiple rotations…

What if he had planned to run away for a while now? If so…why did he have to promise to stay by your side less than 24 hours earlier, he could've just left things as they were before…did he not realize the pain he would cause you with his little stunt?

And for how long had he played with that thought…what if he had the idea already before you met him? What if you were doing nothing but hindering him from taking action earlier.

Already high above the ground now, purposely staying away from going too close to the clouds to keep your sight clear and to not get either drenched in rain from the heavy and quite loaded storm clouds or potentially get grilled by rogue lightning further above.

You didn't know what grilled Dragon tastes like and you were really karking alright with never finding out as well.

"Fine, Cal…run off. That's absolutely karking not fine. But at least have left something to assure me you're safe and alive!" You groan your worry into the damp air, your eyes scanning the abandoned village below, seeing nothing but more stupid Troopers. But they were still alive, none of them seemed injured, not heavily at least. So he might've not even come this way…

"This isn't right though…this is the only other path he could've taken away from the Mantis without the help of my wings." The first one you checked, you knew it ended in a dead end, a cliff with a dead drop of at least…20 miles…at the end of it. You know it's probably that deep because you remember vividly how Cal once slipped on some mud and fell off said cliff, screaming your name for help on with a desperately high tone you haven't heard from even him yet.

Hadn't you been there yet that day, he would've be truly lost. Not just dead. Because only a person whose body can be recovered can REALLY be called dead…everything else is just grief therapy in your eyes. People tend to start working on managing their grief of loss easier if their loved ones can be called dead. Not lost.

A lost loved one…it's constant...uncertainty. What if they were still alive somewhere?

What if they aren't just lost?

What if they got trapped somewhere and that's why they never returned home?

Lost at sea? Trapped in a cave? Kidnapped?

A dead person, an actual funeral – empty casket or not –...often it's the start of learning to let go. To let them rest as well, not just yourself…

But you couldn't think that way with Cal. You knew Cal was alive out there – even though the Connection had been broken – maybe…maybe scouting out the place he could take you off to as well?

If yes…could he actually make your dream – this still very, no, more than silly idea – come true at that place…even if it was supposedly dangerous?

"I don't care how dangerous this place is, Cal…any place is fine if it just includes you, holding me again at night..." The storm grew closer the further you flew inwards of the main island and soon you already reached the Empire's Turbine Facility, a big metal chunk in the otherwise beautiful landscape.

More Stormtroopers. All still alive, just like the last ones.

At this point, you were 100% sure he had to have gotten along this way anyways, so how did he sneak past all of these Troopers. Especially the few Purge Troopers scattered along the path up to this point? Cal turns out to be not the most stealthy person for being a Jedi, who were partially trained to be able to creep past enemies to avoid unnecessary fights.

Cal though…well…he started a fight wherever he went usually, like you to be honest – though, unlike him, you did it intentionally, having a good ol' chuckle with the sheer struggle your enemies got into when they noticed you overpowered them with ease – his attempts at trying to sneak past various Troopers in the last months having ended with him having to push them off a cliff or an edge with the Force last second.

You loved the innocent seeming grimace he pulled everything, muttering an apology, 'oops' or something similar along the way as he motioned you with his pointer to keep quiet about what you just witnessed. Cold Blooded murder at the hands of an innocent orange haired pup, from your professional point of view. Professional in causing havoc on multiple planets and systems.

"I hope we will continue having these moments in the future…" Your words obviously went on deaf ears, like all the rest, all the way up here, nothing but birds and the occasional quite brave bug coming across your focused vision. It was always quiet when you're as high up as you were right now, making it perfect for a person like you. You couldn't stand crowds in an already bad mood, it would make you even crankier than before.

Already about to drown in another "new" memory, one from your time long before you ran into the freckled redhead, you swore…a cold shiver ran down your back.

Turning around sharply mid air, flapping your wings more in a quick rhythm to stay in place, you seek for what caused your dizzying unease. You turned up with nothing as you scanned the immediate ground below you, but further in the distance you saw it.

An Inquisitor's Ship.

There is an Inquisitor on Zeffo at this very moment…this cannot be good. This absolutely cannot mean anything good, in none of the various languages you could speak, not in a million life cycles!

Still, against your better judgment and with a good amount of stupidity – and of course with that never leaving grain of more subtle unease in the back of your head, like a terrible itch that wouldn't go away, getting worse the closer you flew towards the ship – you watch it grow bigger with less and less distance left between you and it.

Concentrating on any kind of Force Energy, you try to find the current whereabouts of the most dangerous passenger on board, of course the Inquisitor. You really really hoped they weren't on the ship at this point of time, that they were somewhere down in those cursed karking Ice Caves that almost gave you frostbite once. And a tiny piece of you hoped they would slip on a fallen icicle to break their stupid neck.

Was it wrong for a Jedi in training to think that way? Would you give a flying Wookie-kark if it was? Mhhh…not really. Not anymore, too late for that shit at this point, at least that's how it started feeling for a good while now.

Shit-

You instantly stop pondering your thoughts like Greez did that stupid Holomap earlier when you had to realize something…terrible.

Two Force Sources, one extremely dimmed and pushed back.

The one that didn't feel as dominating as the other, it was feeling…o-oh no…no!

It was Cal's, it's the second one you felt as you reached out. It was quiet, clearly to keep it from being sensed over longer distances. The Inquisitor must've caught him while he tried to leave Zeffo…how would've he left the planet anyways? It was under guard by the Empire, thank the Makers they never detected the Mantis, so no ships other than the Empire ones got on and off the Surface.

He would've had to steal a TIE…did they catch onto him that way? Probably because they noticed an unannounced TIE in the sky trying to leave the atmosphere…oh Cal…

Landing on the lower mountain cap nearby, you continued surveying the surrounding area of the ship and the landing area. There was a surprising amount of Stormtroopers and even three Purge Troopers standing on guard, but the amount didn't scare you, not really, you could deal with them all in a matter of minutes…but you worried what they would do to your poor Cal if they realized too soon that they were under attack. So rushing in and doing short work was out of the question…

And yet you had realized that every second, every minute you spent just planning and making useless strategies…his life could be more and more endangered. What if they were torturing him for the current location of the Mantis?!

No. No. NononONONONO-

You could not let him get hurt!

You had to do something NOW!

As quick as you had reached the small peak, you rapidly soared back down. Aiming at two of unassuming Purge Troopers, you already took them down during your high speed landing. You heard the gnarly cracks of their helmets and skulls under the multiplied weight of your acceleration as you stood back up from the crouch you instinctively took on, readying your lightsaber for the rest.

"This is going to be the worst day ever for you all…" you growl antagonistically before igniting the blade upon finishing your sentence. Nobody hurt him and got away with it, nobody.

Hearing three Blasters getting readied behind, on both sides and in front of you respectively, you get ready to focus on the old techniques you once had been taught by your Master, deflecting one bolt after another, using your flexibilityto your advantage.

With a focus on the sounds and where they would come from, you blindly managed to continuously spin the blade in the right directions. You didn't miss a beat at their fruitless attempts, striking down Trooper for Trooper with their own Blaster Bolts and you were certainly proud of yourself that you didn't show signs of getting rusty because of nearly four months of not getting a single training session.

Fortunately for you and unfortunately for them, their guards were mostly these Blaster Armed Troopers, thinning their lines from 20 to 8 in under two minutes as you got ready to duel the Scouts now as well. And man, did that opportunity give you a grin, it's been so long you got to have some light, second long duels against basically Bogling shit for brains Troopers.

One you duck under and fling over your shoulder, swinging back to take him out from behind, the one coming immediately after got a taste of your blade straight through his stomach. One by one, you mow the basic Troopers down, the cauterized wounds from the heat of the Lightsaber the only reason you didn't stand in a field of blood right now.

"You had it easy with them but I will be youuuuu– " "Shut the kark up, I have had enough…" you curse under your breath, using the Force, stupid and annoyed as you were, to cause the last Purge Trooper to nearly immediately get pushed off the high in the air Landing Area. You always expected more from the Troopers that were literally trained to hunt down and kill Jedi…

But you realized your own mistake too late, the hiss of the large ship's door opening stunning you for too long to fly into the air for broader defense. You shouldn't have caused such a ruckus!

When the door was open, you grimaced bitterly at which Inquisitor it was that occupied the ship…it just had to be her, didn't it?

On the sloped door, in her dark glory, stood The Second Sister.

Or also called Trilla, by now.

But her standing basically right in front of you wasn't what threw you off…

It was who stood behind her, no shackles, no bruises…there was no sign whatsoever of the torture you thought would be happening…

You forgot to breath as the shock began to really hit you, your wide green eyes staring at him disbelief…

This couldn't…n-no…Cal.

And two eyes stared right back with the same amount of shock, dropping the unfamiliar looking Lightsaber in his grip…

Two yellow eyes…

___________________

(Why does Tumblr not have an actual yellow text color?! Just ORANGE! >:/)