#itz very stupid . to say the least

[spookythesillyfella]

Hi Spooky! I've seen you're last few posts and I just want to tell you that you are one of the most AWESOME people I know! Your art is SO SICK and I've looked up to you for the longest time!

You are doing AMAZING! You're an awesome person and I am glad to be mutuals with you! You're not cringe for venting your feelings online! It is completely fine! I can understand that life can be really frustrating most of the time, but please hang in there!

You'll get through it!

You don't have to reply to this btw :]

-Demi

thank you . demi <33

im sorry for getting late to thiz ask [and for not answering your second up to thiz point] . im weirdly burnt out and tired – more than uzual . that iz to say

but thankz for saying such nice thingz about my art – my art iz probably the last . the only thing i still have going for me at thiz point ; if i wazn't decent at it . i probably would've just deleted my tumblr . since therez nothing else about me for people to like [not trying to put myself down . just stating a fact y'know ?]

ive loved your art for a long time too !! so im very glad you feel the same !! you're an incredibly sweet person and you sending thiz ask really just helped me out a lot

thank you . so much

[jjwolves]

FULLY ALIVE ✦·๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑·✦

What: Taski Maiden X Hurt Reader

Who: Taski Maiden from ENA Dream BBQ (By Joel G)

How Much: ~1000 words, ~5 mins

Credits: Image Banner -> Joel G

Warnings: Minor Violence/Injury

Trickery is sort of a routine with Taski Maiden. As her friend, you often find yourself cleaning up after her pranks, of which there is an admirable variety. A bucket of flying frogs in someone's drawer and an orange peel which can turn you upside down are the least of anyone's worries when it comes to your gremlin, and while you're not stupid enough to jump out and give an apology to the angered victims on behalf of your mischievous girlfriend, you do at least stay behind to get stuff Taski might want later. You're fairly used to this sort of thing--she loses something valuable for a prank and then, later on, whines to you about it. "YYYYY DID YOU GO ALONG WITH THAT DUMB PRANK ANYWAY!? Now that co0l aquarium is gone 4eva!1! >:(" It's not every day she sniffs out a cool bucket with little devil faces on it or anything, so if she uses it for a prank and has to split, it's only right that you go back to get it for her. Does this make you an accomplice? It's debatable. Pissed-off wonderland monsters don't really distinguish between suspect and no, though, so when a chromatic cartoon sun holding a shovel made out of ice is circling the site of the crime out of rage, it's not too happy to see you attempting to skulk about and recollect Taski's special bucket.

Everything's blurry. A subtle electronic whine plays deep in your ears as your vision tries to focus on who's in front of you. Something dark and specked with red... and loud. Is that Taski? Somehow, you don't remember those colors on her. "H3Y, heyy, please pl3aze plees be OK... You h4ve to be!!! Wake up!! Pl3az!1!" An odd, three-fingered hand not-so-gently taps the side of your head to confirm life. You groan in pain and hear a gasp from above. The gremlin girl you've come to care for so much draws closer, and you're able to make more of her details. Her whole body is cloaked in shadow, two red eyes peering down at you with worry as her voice modulates unsteadily. "Jsdhsd... Jsjdhsjdh..." Normally you'd probably be a little disconcerted by her appearance, but right now you're just happy to see her. You think you hear a distorted sniffle. "Y0ur probz pretty heavy, but, I'mma l1ft you up and take you to a c0oler place. We're gona make yuo feel ep1c, OK?" You nod weakly. You can't move around very much at all, and just about everything hurts, but if you trusted anyone with your wellbeing right now, it was Taski.... Ill-equipped as she is.

You stirred awake and moved your head slightly to see that Taski, presumably, had used layers of dimly glowing thread to meticulously wrap you up like a burrito. That was when you heard some shuffling and large, pulsating arch of red hair drooped into view. "Is sleepybrainz joining the alive-persons party??" Taski emerges further so that you can see her face upside down, albeit back to the gray skin and red hair that you're more used to. You shakily admit that you'll probably need to heal up for a few days--you can't exactly move anything, still, and that meant that your wiring needed to regenerate for a while. "Yuore in re4lly reely good care. I'm supa good at takin care of cuties." Your body musters enough blood for a blush, at which Taski rests a dark hand over your mouth. Her red eye momentarily stops rolling around to fixate on you. "NOT CUTIE! I DIDN SAY THAT, I DIDUN SAY D4T. I SEDD... fruit E. I'm decreein that your celeb namey-nickel is fruit E. Don change it or ill cry. Itz a gift."

Taski's two Boys stand by the bed and offer a stoic wave which you shakily return. Your favorite gremlin's face of contentment she gained from a successful distraction quickly shifts to a frown of worry. She turns to face the Boys. "Boyz, tha patient is weak n noodly... Grab da soup!!!" They totter over with a stone bowl containing some kind of glowing green liquid. "I siphoned it 4ll by myself." In a tiny whisper, she adds, "...with luv," before blushing and whipping away from you to grab a spoonful and jam it into your mouth to shut you up before you can say anything. You were bracing for the worst. It tastes like key lime pie, but with virtually no sugar and earthy like it was made out of rocks or something. Maybe it was, for all you knew. Your odd caretaker regarded you curiously. "Ok, I'm gonna get the Boyz to take your temperaturez, izzat okay with dokay?" You say that you can't imagine that you'd have a fever, since you were beat up, not sick. "DONT ARGUE WIT NURSE GIRLI!1!" If your ears weren't ringing before, they were now thanks to her yelling. One of Taski's boys opens its mouth and creates an air vacuum where you're lying, taking away your temperature like a reverse fan. The chill was actually quite nice. Your "nurse" kneads your arm affectionately. "See, now yuo can chilly billy <3"

Taski gives you odd get-well-soon gifts when you're not looking. The empty, flickering room that you're set up in slowly fills up over the following days with balloons, random broken toys, cool rocks she found and "speci4l brew5", which are just glass jars with different liquids and things layered in them, including things like sand, water, oil, battery acid and dish soap. Sometimes there's a toy board member or a bone in there, too. When the little liquid combination collection starts to grow out of hand, Taski collects them into that really cool bucket you had gone back to retrieve. You ask Taski about all the cute little gifts that appear in your room whenever you wake up, at which point she covers her mouth and her eyes squint in mischief. She does a little dance in place, happy and full of light heart. "I dunno~ Every singel one (1) was delivered str8 to you from da hearts of secret admirers around da worl. DONT GET A BIG DUMB HEAD OVER IT, but therez someone out there who love-luvs you veryyy muchhh <:3c" You're healing quicker and quicker with each gift you know is from Taski. Part of you wishes the process could go a little slower as Taski crawls onto your makeshift cot to snuggle into you.

[themuselesswriter]

This texts conversation is the reason why I don’t like Blitz as much as I should

Stolas: I'm sorry if anything I've said have offended you tonight

Blitz: Itz wutevs

Stoals: Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about waht happened at Ozzie's?

Blitz: Y?

Stolas: I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal. I was just worried about you. You seemed very upset and you took off so fast. But maybe I read too much into that. I'm glad that's not the case. I wasn't upset either I just wanted to make sure you weren't and obviously you can handle any stupid joke a clown can make. Asmodeus can be very invasive in his humor, but I thought it was pretty funny myself. What he said about anpit ,e at least. I enjoy being the subject of jest. Maybe you can come say mean things to me too next time you come over.

Blitz: K

[luvmailing]

songs and other drabbles...

part two: kyle "gaz" garrick

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, very possibly ooc (my first time writing for cod), civilian reader, pet name (baby) used like... once?? gaz the typa guy to use "babe" and "baby" i dont make the rules. dk whether this is fluff or angst but oh boy is it sumn!!!! 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

↳ ft. kyle "gaz" garrick

author's note: the entire first draft deleted itself and i nearly chose to do the same. SLASH JAY!!!! errmmmm (*´ｰ｀)ゞ anyways!!!! i love gaz so so much. this Specific lyric bro. itz so him. i've had this in my brain for too long. I STG I WAS COOKING W/ THE OG ONE BUT I DELETD THAT DRAFT AND NOW IT'S MID o(≧口≦)o !!!!! apologies. many. trust i'll come up w/ sumn better when i am not succumbing to whatever ailment has me rn,,,, <//3 im sick

[ simulation swarm - big thief ]

"i wanna drop my arms and take your arms / and walk you to the shore"

↳ gaz had woken up about half an hour ago. unlike usual, however, he was making absolutely no effort to get up from the bed and start the day early.

"just a few minutes” is what you claimed it would be when you asked him to stay in bed a for a while. it was also completely bullshit. you both knew that much. it had been much longer than “just a few minutes” since then– yet, there were no protests from him, holding you tight as if he never intended on letting go.

even if kyle had wanted to get up (and like hell he would), he figured it was almost impossible to say no to you. after coming back from a particularly long deployment which had left you with minimal contact to him, he figured the least he could do was indulge you in your simple requests now that he was back. staying in bed where it was warm and comfortable was easy enough anyways.

you were practically laying on top of him, your head tucked into the crook of his neck, one of his arms around your waist, holding you close against him. his free hand had found its way to the small of your back, as he idly traced shapes against the fabric of your shirt–

his shirt, actually. you had taken a liking to stealing his clothing and kyle's closet began slowly merging with your own ever since. at this point, it was hard to tell who’s clothes were who’s. not like he minded.

"kyle?” you mumbled sleepily, lips moving against his skin as you speak. his heart fluttered at your voice.

“yes?”

a beat of silence.

“nothing.” you shifted your position, moving to rest your head against his shoulder, cheek pressed against it as you look up at him. “it’s stupid, really but– i missed you more than i thought i would... guess i was worried about you."

his eyes met yours, gazing down at you sweetly. he paused to think for a moment, giving you a wistful smile before pressing a little kiss to your forehead. he thinks a moment before replying.

"i missed you too, baby. so much." though his voice is adoring and gentle as ever, a soft sorrow which your tired mind can't quite discern resided in the words.

kyle had always accepted danger which his job entailed, even used to the physically and mentally demanding aspects. but ever since you arrived his life, he found himself absolutely despising the anxiety that his job caused you when he was away. you both had to come to terms with the fact that this was just the way things would be for the both of you. he hated that. he hated knowing you would be forced to reconcile with the fact there might be a day where he doesn't come back to you.

deep in his heart, he knew that if you were more selfish– if you would just ask him to quit his job to live a quiet life with you– his answer wouldn't be no.

he'd never verbalize it, but he was almost certain he'd drop it all if you asked him to. sometimes he secretly wished that you would. but you never did. you remained understanding, taking all the anxiety you felt when he was away if it meant that you could still be with him. how could he ever repay something like that?

this was the ache and blessing which he carried the minute you insisted on loving him.

he didn't dare tell you this now. the moment would've certainly be ruined if he had. besides, he figured you had been laden with enough– and he didn't want to spoil this perfect morning. instead, he took the opportunity to pepper as many kisses on your face he can before you eventually laugh and gently push him away.

and that smile of yours, brighter than the morning sun– it just reminded him that he really would do anything for you.

▸ KYLE "GAZ" GARRICK

– reblogs always appreciated!

[fan-of-chaos]

Compilation of Blitz and Stolas messages!

Transcript:

Stolas: I’m sorry if anything I said or did may have offended you tonight.

Blitz: Itz wutevs (its whatever)

Stolas: Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie’s?

Blitz: Y?

Stolas: I’m sorry! Nevermind, its not a big deal. I was worried about you. You seemed very upsed and you took off so fast, but maybe I read too much into that. I’m glad if that’s not the case. I wasn’t upset either I just wanted to make sure you weren’t and obviously you can handle any stupid joke a clown can make. Asmodeus can be very invasive in his humor, but I thought it was pretty funny myself. What he said about me at least. I enjoy being the subject of jest. Maybe you can say mean things to me too next time you come over.

Stolas: If you want.

Blitz: Shur (sure)

Stolas: Thanks for helping me with Via today. You were great in that human show.

Blitz: np (no problem)

Stolas: Are you coming over tonight with the book?

Blitz: Lyke olways (like always)

Stolas: If you don’t feel like coming, that’s ok! I’m sure I can do without it for one month. :)

Blitz: k (ok)

Stolas: Do you plan to visit tomorrow? I know you’ve been busy. And working hard. Maybe if you’d prefer, we can skip the bedroom and just relax maybe? I’m sure you need a break.

Blitz: Wutevr u want, its ur night (whatever you want, its your night)

Stolas: If you’re not up for it, or too tired, that is perfectly fine. No pressure, I don’t have anything with the grimoire till next month.

Blitz: mae bee (maybe)

Stolas: Maybe instead of our usual Arrangement on the full moon we can properly catch up this week? Maybe monday?

Blitz: I mite b bsuy (I might be busy)

Stolas: I wouldn’t want to bother you!

Stolas: You can always drop off the book on full moon and I can leave it for you if you are too tired to do anything…

Stolas: But I would like to see you.

Blitz: k (ok)

Blitz: Git bevver swoon :( (get better soon)

Stolas: Thank you Blitz, that means a lot.

Stolas: I might be here a while, if you ever want to visit. ❤

[tranquil-slaughterhouse]

Conversation #1

Stolas: I'm sorry if anything I said or did may have offended you tonight.

Blitzo: itz wutevs

Stolas: Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's?

Blitzo: y?

Stolas: I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal. I was just worried about you. You seemed very upset and you took off so fast. But maybe I read too much into that. I'm glad if that's not the case. I wasn't upset either I just wanted to make sure you weren't and obviously you can handle any stupid joke a clown can make. Asmodeus can be very invasive in his humor, but I thought it was pretty funny myself. What he said about me at least, I enjoy being the subject of jest. Maybe you can say mean things to me too next time you come over.

If you want?

Blitzo: shur

Conversation #2

Stolas: Thanks for helping me with Via today, you were great in that human show:

Blitzo: np

Stolas: Are you coming over tonight with the book?

Blitzo: lyke olways

Stolas: If you don't feel like coming, that's ok! Make sure I can do without it for one month. :)

Blitzo: k

Conversation #3

Stolas: Do you plan to visit tomorrow? I know you've been busy. And working hard. Maybe if you'd prefer, we can skip the bedroom and just relax maybe? I'm sure you need a break.

Blitzo: wutevr u want, its ur night

Stolas: If you're not up for it, or too tired, that is perfectly fine. No pressure, I don't have anything with the grimoire till next month.

Blitzo: mae bee

Conversation #4

Stolas: Maybe instead of our usual arrangement on the full moon we could properly catch up this week? Maybe Monday?

Blitzo: i mite b bsuy

Stolas: I would want to bother you!

You can always drop off the book on the full moon and I can leave it for you if you are too tired to do anything...

But I would like to see you.

Blitzo: k

Conversation #4

Blitzo: git bevver swoon :(

Stolas: Thank you Blitz, that means a lot.

I might be here for a while, if you ever want to visit. 💜

Blitzy❤️ is typing...

[carnationcreation]

Ranks (Dustin Brooks x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Please check bio to see if requests are open before sending any in! 

Request: @pezzbosch We like semi-sad fics here, so obviously Dustin trying to cheer his crush up when he notices something is wrong :)

Prompt/summary: Dustin notices his sparring partner is very upset

Word Count: 1,172

Authors note: I deviated slightly mostly because I’d been talking about writing this imagine idea for a while, I hope you don’t mind :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I couldn’t stand him.

The cocky headstrong Earth ninja somehow always got paired up with me for our sparring test.

No one understood why I hated him, but after years of studying and training as hard as I could, somehow I was always under his shadow. And for what? Because he was funny? Because he could light up a room? Because he was handsome and-

I’m stopping myself there.

Today is the day I waited for all term. Class ranks. If I made it into the top five then I could become a student teacher and start teaching the younger classes with Sensei. The listings would be posted after lunch so when I finished eating I rushed to the dojo to read off the list.

Earth Ninjas:

I scanned down the list searching for my name only to feel my heart drop.

5. Dustin Brooks

6. (Y/n) (Y/l/n)

I held back tears as I stomped down the path and to the gate of the academy. Maybe it was best I skipped training today, it wouldn’t affect anything anyways.

The gates opened allowing the late students entrance and I managed to slip out unnoticed.

At least unnoticed to most, the last person I wanted to see today somehow saw me leaving.

“(Y/n)? Where are you going? Class is about to start.”

I tightened my grip on my bag and quickened my pace.

“(Y/n)” Dustin yelled, running to catch up to me on the trail, “Yo we gotta head back. Sensei’s gonna be pissed if we miss our sparring test.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Come on I can’t do my test if my partners not there-”

I spun on my heel coming face to face with him, “Can you just leave me alone?”

Dustin stared at me wide eyed. I wiped the tears from my face as I turned back down the path.

“Wait, what are you upset about?” He called after me.

I sighed, “Nothing you should concern yourself with.”

Dustin jogged in front of me stopping me in my tracks, “You’re totally upset about something. You never miss class, ever.”

“Yeah but somehow I still scored lower than you,” I snapped. I winced at my tone.

“What are you talking about?”

I rolled my eyes, “Class ranks.”

“Dude,” Dustin laughed, “I didn’t even know people paid attention to those.”

“Well some do,” I snapped, how could he be laughing at this? “If I had stayed in the top five I would’ve had the chance to become a student teacher. Maybe even get the opportunity to teach at the academy after I graduated, but somehow you passed me and got a higher score. Now definitely won’t get to.”

I shoved past him to continue down the trail.

“Woah woah woah, what are you saying? I somehow got fifth place?”

I nodded, wiping another tear from my face as I kept walking.

“How's that possible?” He said, “You totally kicked my butt last week during our spar.”

“You tell me.” I sniffled.

“Listen I’m sorry I ruined your master plan for graduation, but I honestly don’t even know how I scored high.”

I rolled my eyes.

Once again Dustin jogged in front of me to stop me, “Maybe if you talked a little more instead of just taking directions or something-”

“I don’t even wanna hear it Dustin! I put so much time and effort into studying for you to pass me even though you almost never show up! It’s so not fair.”

Dustin winced at my outburst backing up a few steps, “Maybe if we just head back and talk to Sensei-”

“Sensei is the one who makes the class ranks Dustin, I doubt he made a mistake. People just seem to like you more with your funny little jokes and your cute smirk-”

“Cute?”

I huffed, “Please just let me head home. Go do your stupid sparring test without me.”

“Kinda can’t, you’re my partner,” he said.

I growled feeling an ache start to form in my head from trying to stop myself from crying. I wasn’t sure how it happened, but with a throw of my arms the ground seemed to do my bidding. Dustin yelped as he was sunk into the ground up to his waist.

“Hey, watch the suit!” 

I rolled my eyes before extending a hand out to him to help him out of the ground.

“Dude, you seriously got skills.”

“Maybe it's because I show up to classes and study,” I said, I swiped at the dirt that covered his uniform, the same black and yellow robes that I wore. 

Dustin grabbed the bag that had fallen off my arm to the ground and started back up the path, “And you won’t get any higher in rank if you don’t come take the test!”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine. But you’re going down.”

_____

I took a deep breath pulling the hood over my head and face, the warmth of my breath making my cheeks warm against the fabric. 

Sensei stood to the side of the mat as Dustin and I faced each other to bow.

“Begin.”

I had to say, Dustin was a good fighter. But he focused too much on strength and never enough on skill or speed.

Dodging his punches and jabs were easy but when he did hit he hit hard. A quick uppercut to my stomach left me breathless and not in the sappy romantic way. I managed to grab his arm and twisted it around flipping him onto his back, he swiped at my feet but like I did earlier I threw my arm down towards the earth and disappeared into the ground below us.

Dustin looked around confused as I popped up behind him taking his feet out from under him and pinning his chest to the ground.

“Well done,” we heard Sensei say. I helped Dustin to his feet before we bowed to each other then to our Sensei.

“I must say you two are quite the duo, perhaps a duo that can be beneficial to the younger student joining the academy,” he smiled.

“You want us to teach?” Dustin asked.

Sensei nodded, “Starting next week you will help the newest students learn the basics of the Wind Ninja Academy. I look forward to seeing your progress.”

He bowed to us once again and we returned the favor before turning back to one another.

“You did it!” Dustin cheered, giving me a high five.

“I thought he only took the top five students?” I questioned.

He shrugged, “Maybe it’s not based on rank.”

I shrugged, “So, what are you thinking about doing on Monday?’

“Nothing other than work,” he said, “What are you thinking?”

“We need to prepare for our first class,” I smiled.

“Like a date?” he smirked.

I shrugged, “Only if you want it to be.”

“Oh then it definitely can be,” he smiled.

He threw an arm around my shoulder walking back down the path we had earlier, only this time it was all smiles. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[thevalleyoftriumph]

ACTUALLY OK IM GONNA CHATTER ABT THE NEW TSV UPDATE W TUCKER BCOZ I HAVE. A FEW THEORIEZ? and i just in general want to talk abt the video and stuff i noticed

tucker mentionz remembering how tsv had said all the carz in a junkyard had their mirrorz smashed. ive seen ppl say tucker smashed the mirror in the informantz place with the club before hiding behind it, but i dont think he did that?

the angle he throwz the club vs the angle he runz to the mirror iz almost polar opposite, which makez me think throwing the club waz more of a distraction - strobez are shown to be kinda stupid, and in the past have prioritized bright lightz or louder soundz over someone they KNOW iz there. he most likely did it to either hit the strobe and save himself some time, or draw it away from him.

then the whole hiding behind a mirror thing. it SOUNDZ like he smashez it over the strobe, since he waznt holding anything other than his phone - it shatterz just az itz moved down, but not by hitting the ground, which would mean it probably HIT something, along w it beginning to shake. thiz makez me think it hit the strobe itself, and it waz very. not happy about that.

now, what DOEZ thiz mean? who fucking knowz! in the past, w the strobe tsv killed, theyre shown to at least be aware of reflectionz - though that one waz most likely with a front facing phone camera instead of any mirrorz - but maybe theyre moreso confused on them? maybe the glass in mirrorz distressez them since it shinez their own light back on them? like how when some animalz see their reflection, they dont register it az themselvez, but another animal, and get all defensive.

therez also a sound near the end of the video that soundz like a clanging sound kind of. im not entirely sure what that iz - it soundz like something hitting metal kinda? itz really brief but it remindz me of when id accidentally knock a pot against another one when cooking lol.

something else to note iz the informant lookz almost freshly dead, and the strobe iz STILL HANGING AROUND. now either tucker came at a Really Bad Time, or the strobe KNEW someone waz coming and stuck around. thiz iz a bit of a reach on my end but still something to consider.

am i just restating the entire video in text format? yeah pretty much. do i CARE? no not really.

if anyonez got any ideaz az to what the fuck happened feel free to add on w them or w any of ur own observationz!

[a-simple-complexity]

Things about the creepypasta improv thing my close friend and I have been doing since 4th or 5th grade (maybe longer):

- My character doesn't really have a cp name yet but has been around for 401 years

- My character, when not at the mansion, is roomies with JTK (and he steals cheese its)

- Vivian's (the close friend) character is close to Slenderman and has a older sister bond with Sally

- Aside from the Jeff The Cheeze Itz Snatcher gag we have more running gags

- Such as Masky locking Toby in the closet when he's annoying only to turn around and see Toby standing there.... MENACINGLY (lol)

- LJ punts Mr Widemouth across the mansion weekly

- EJ is no longer allowed to cook for others after the barbeque of 2017. We miss you, Butler Bill

- Tuesdays and Thursdays Viv's character takes pets and children out the mansion for a playdate while everyone else has some fun

- Viv's Hidden Stash of Tuna TM

- My Hidden Stash of Vodka and Rum TM

- My character might have a problem but then again immortals aren't really affected by alcohol like most mortals are

- Speaking about my character: Holy. Pets.

- They have a bunch of guard dogs (despite them all being guard dogs they are pampered like you wouldn't believe)

- Pastas respect COVID stuff. Slender ordered everyone to scatter until it's mellowed out alot. Slender caught it at some point. They say get the vaccine and wear ya damn mask.

- There's a "Community Garden". It's just a few pitcher plants, some Butterworts, a killer cow plant (courtesy of Ben pulling some strings), a small patch of wither roses (courtesy of Herobrine), and a oran berry plant (courtesy of a few poke-pastas), rose bushes, etc

- Holidays are fun too

- Christmas time is filled with my character and Viv's taking Sally, Jane, Clockwork, and Nina out for a "girls" night

- Granted Nina only gets taken along bc despite the love-hate relationship between my character and Jeff, Jeff deserves time away from Nina during the holidays at least

- Also despite Jeff hating Nina he appreciates the knives she gives him (and return he gives her some sort of card)

- Due to staying in the vents constantly and stalking everyone my character gets everyone what they think they like would like

- Christmas lights everywhere. Splendor always gets Offender to put the star on top the comically large tree just bc

- Despite it not being Christmas music, everyone listens to Hotel California by The Eagles

- and watches Christmas movies (what was that Christmas movie with Tim Allen?)

- Everyone plays in the snow. Jeff decides to start a snowball fight and Sally makes a snow man.

- Everyone wears something festive and it's normally an ugly sweater thanks to Trender

- Spiked nog anyone?

- Thanksgiving includes everyone gathering together and having fun

- A small hunting trip is planned instead of a football game (the hunt takes place the day prior bc no one wanna miss the parade)

- Sally's favorite float is the Charlie brown float

- You know how the president pardons a turkey? Slender pardons a victim (and has been doing it since meeting Viv's character bc of a joke Viv made)

- My character makes mashed potatoes or some sort of really outdated dish from the 1700's

- The Slender Bros, Viv's character, Sally, Toby, Smile Dog, Jeff, and Nina all watch the dog show after the parade

- Nina is kinda allergic to dogs and doesn't really like them but bc of her lingering obsession with Jeff she puts up with it

- Offender and Trender argue over what dog they think should have won (funny to watch to grown immortal-ass men argue over this)

- Slender carves the turkey

- The pardoned victim is allowed to stay for dinner granted a majority of memories get changed (not really erased, just changed)

- My character, Jeff, and Ben all walk through the woods before dinner and get fucking plastered (and think no one notices....everyone notices)

- the week of Thanksgiving the tree gets put up (acceptable if it's the week of Thanksgiving, any other time then it's just weird)

- My characters mom, (considered the co-founder of Hell) pops in, steals a couple slices of pie, and leaves

- Halloween is celebrated kind of like Thanksgiving and Christmas

- My character decorates the mansion with various bones

- 31 Days of Horror Movies (at some point it's decided to watch Earnest Scared Stupid and some of the serious dog lovers opt out)

- The Slender Brothers dress up as the three musketeers. Splendor is Porthos, Offender is Athos, Slender is D'artagnan and, Trender is Aramis

- Jeff and my character do a duel costume by dressing of as Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer from Cats (musical not movie, duh) alternatively they dress as Rum Tum Tugger and Mr. Mistoffelees.

- Sally dresses as Carrie or a fairy princess

- Jane, Clockwork, Nina, Viv's Character dress up as four of the five muses from Hercules (Viv changes last minute to a cat due to her character having cat ears and a cat tail)

- Toby, Masky, and Hoodie originally wanted to dress as the three musketeers but after slender took that idea they decide to dress up as separate things. Toby dresses as Masky. Masky dresses as the phantom of the opera and Hoodie is a ghost.

- Smile dog dresses as a hot dog :P

- A small hunting trip is planned and Jane and Clockwork take Sally trick or treating

- Everyone finishes the month with A Night are Before Christmas (a classic)

- Not many celebrate Valentine's day

- It's really only the Slender Bros, Viv's character, My character, Nina, Toby, Masky & Hoodie, and Sally

- and by Sally I mean she just leaves candy from the candy bowl everywhere

- Masky and Hoodie make a day of it since Slender gives them holidays off. They eat cheesecake in the woods and just spend the day together.

- Toby spends the day alone but still celebrates in his own way. Eating waffles.

- Offender (in our improv thing he's not....yeah....he's just a hopeless romantic that does consensual hook ups) and my character spend his their leaving roses out at restaurants and going to bars for hookups. They have a bunch of stuff worked out.

- Viv and Slender spend the day in bed or lounging in the living room watching some cheesy comedy.

- Trender spends the day as a self care day seeing as he's alone at the moment. Every day is self care for him but it's even more on Valentine's Day. He goes all out and even treats himself to a fancy restaurant.

- Splendor likes going to neighborhoods and leaving cute little poems on people's doors then heading to the zoo for personal time.

- Nina harasses Jeff who, in return, leaves the mansion and heads to the apartment him and my character share.

- New Years is something everyone celebrates. While some have resolutions others have new quotas they're trying to meet.

- Sally tries to stay up and watch the ball drop (she's only seen it drop twice before falling asleep)

- My character and Viv's character get shit faced

- Jeff normally sits there with a beer in one hand and Smile Dog beside him

- that's really all that consists of New Years

More about our two characters:

My character:

- a 401 year old demon thing

- in our universe hell is ran by the 7 devil's as well as my characters mother. Hells more of a city than a pit.

- Has lived with Jeff as a roommate since late 2018

- Use to be with Herobrine but broke it off with him for unknown reasons.....they're civil and still good friends. He's one of those people that could make a good boyfriend but is best as a close friend

- On their 400th birthday a crackening happened in Hell that enhanced their powers and they were hunted by Zalgo. Luckily a truce was established.

- Has been by Viv's character side since her characters soul was first created. More in Viv's Character's section

- Y'know those dogs that were talked about in the beginning? They primarily stay at their mothers mansion in Hell.

- Also all cats go to hell but they don't get hurt. They like to watch. Sometimes if you're lucky you might get a celebrity's cat. That's how my character got their lovely (and kinda douchy cat) Delilah. She likes to pee all over people's suits just bc she's like that.

- They were born in 1620 but are progressive

- Still liked fashion through the ages

- Maybe not the health damaging ones

- Is able to fly and teleport but due to back pain and migraines prefers to stay grounded and rarely use teleportation

- Doesn't actually kill much but has had souls sold to them (job as a demon....doesn't really need one though....is Crossroads Demon)

- Had a one night stand with Trender about 240ish years ago

- Does have proxies....it's those souls they take and barter around for

- Souls in hell can be used for currency depending on whether or not they sold their soul

- Anyways, was at some point known for having an obsession with chainsaws and hoodies...still has a bunch of hoodies and a chainsaw but doesn't really use them much (is more of a flannel and gun person now)

Viv's Character:

- her character managed to get everyone's favorite dwarfed rag doll cat from the internet

- Her character use to be with Entity 303 and ended up Slenderman

- that makes two of us who were with a Minecraft pasta and ended up with a slender brother lol

- I think her character is called Kat or KC so for now imma call her character Kat

- Kat has an addiction to tuna and milk

- Also has cat ears and a cat tail which are both very sensitive

- when Kat's soul was created my character was created. Even though Kat has been through many many reincarnations my character has always been alongside her. Even though my character doesn't die they act as a guardian towards Kat.

- Has a tendency to sit up in the cat walks and within the walls of the mansion alongside my character

- Gets lost in the forest from time to time and needs help getting out

- Despite being with Slender she has her own room to store her weapons and stash her plans.

- If I'm not mistaken Kat also was with Toby for a short while but doesn't talk about it much. Imagine dating your ex-lovers boss lol

- Disappears for up to a week sometimes without saying where she's going and when she comes back she acts as if nothing happened

- When both Kat and my character started living in the mansion they shared a room for about a year.

- Kat had a personal garden that was completely wiped out by Zalgo before a treaty was established and she still hasn't forgave him

- The garden mostly had marigolds and a few small plants. The only one that really mattered was Audrey the Venus fly trap.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #392

“l.a. is where stars come to die”

Do you think there’s anything you did better when you were younger? I think I was a better writer, honestly. Like I've developed in some areas, like being less over-dramatic, but I just think my creativity in wording and such has dulled down. Who was the craziest teacher you’ve ever had? I've never had a "crazy" teacher, honestly. What’s the last thing you got paid to do? Take pictures. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for someone else? How should I know? Ask either Jason or Sara. Have you ever wanted to model? No. Have you ever seen someone have a seizure? I THINK my sister? Teddy had seizures in his old age, too. What’s your favorite car? I don't have one, really. Do you know any HTML or CSS? If yes, how much? I know veeeeery little basics. LIke, I can change the color of shit and that's about it lmao. Do you tend to care about the lives of celebrities? Why or why not? Only celebrities I really really care about, like Mark. What do you think of the scene style? #aesthetic and I will ALWAYS be envious of the hair. Have you ever told an extremely inappropriate joke? Oh god, I remember one. What is the highest you have been up, other than in an airplane? On a certain faire ride, I wanna say. Is there any hope of you ever seeing your favorite band in concert? Ozzy does want to do another tour at some point, but he's fighting Parkinson's currently, so it's not guaranteed it will happen. Mom and I planned on going to his last one that was scheduled, but the diagnosis cancelled it. :( What is your favorite non-green vegetable? Uhhhhh I guess potatoes. What is your favorite non-traditional fruit? I don't think I've even had a non-traditional fruit. Just basic stuff. Have you ever had Swedish Fish? Yeah, I'm not a fan. What is your favorite origami shape? Birds, I guess. Do you usually take the stairs or the elevator? I pretty much always take an elevator if one's available because my legs can barely handle stairs at all. It's agonizing for me. Do you need a key card to get into the building you live in? No. What was the last takeout food you had? I had a burger from McDonald's a few days ago. Do you take the pickle off your burgers? No, I love pickles on burgers. Do you share a bed with anyone? Just my cat. If you’ve read or watched Harry Potter, which book/movie is your favorite? I haven't. What’s the last app you downloaded on your phone? I re-installed DragonVale. What do you know the most about? Meerkats, Markiplier, and Silent Hill, probably. What TV shows can you not stand? What's that stupid show on Adult Swim, Rooster Teeth or something like that? That shit was so dumb. Have you ever tasted your own tears? I mean not intentionally. Sometimes tears just fall down a spot where it happens. Are your legs hairy? I can almost guarantee to you that I probably have the hairiest legs of any woman you've ever met. Do you like Cheese-Itz? I love them! We don't really buy them though because both Mom and I can destroy a box of them. Have you ever built a sandcastle? I have. Did you ever watch Barney as a child? Yeah, I loved Barney, but not as much as my older sister. She literally "married" him, haha. Have you ever had a pet rabbit? No, but my older sis did as a kid. That poor thing died and Ashley didn't know for THREE DAYS. Mom took it out earlier and I guess she wanted to see how long it took Ash to notice? She didn't take great care of it, so. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? Yes, my friendship ring with Sara. To you, what is especially distracting? Tapping noises. When was the last time you did some major cleaning? MAJOR cleaning? Good question. How do you feel about people who neglect their pets? It sickens me. Have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone? Nope. When are you likely to lie? Probably when I don't want to seriously hurt someone. What is a personality type that you do not like? I hate people who think they know everything, are unwilling to acknowledge their flaws and work on them, feel they're better than others, are closed-minded, sexist, bigoted, racist... What is a personality type that you DO like? I am drawn to people who are empathetic and try to understand and consider more than just themselves, are caring and genuine, philosophical and think deeply, are calm, friendly, good listeners, and have a light sense of humor. Which of your friends is the least like you? In what way? I actually don't know. MAYBE Mini with her being extremely conservative to a frustrating degree and overwhelmingly religious. We diverge pretty strongly in beliefs that are important to me. How about the most like you? In what way? Sara! We have incredibly similar interests and morals, and we both are wild over animals. When was the last time you felt under-appreciated? I'm gonna be completely transparent here, even though it's uncomfortable to admit. I was very unhappy with the literally two interactions a poem I was really proud of got on dA. Like it was one I was trying to get published prior to just posting it there, so it was really disappointing to feel so overlooked when you worked hard on something you felt came out great. Does anyone take advantage of you or take you for granted? No. Are you taking anyone for granted? I sure as hell hope no one feels like I do. I definitely try to appreciate those I have to the utmost. What is one selfish thing that you do? I prioritize my alone time probably too much. How about something selfless? I'm pretty much always willing to listen to people's hardships and comfort them even if my own mental health is in poor condition. What do you like to do on your favorite holiday? Just be with family and really focus on how lucky I am to have them. What helps you fall asleep? I guess really paying attention to slowing my breathing, but that doesn't always work. It takes me at LEAST half an hour to fall asleep, so I struggle no matter what. Is there anyone you wish you were still friends with now? Megan. I really, really miss her. What is a fear you want to overcome? SOCIAL ANXIETY. UGH. What is something you do not like about yourself, with good reason? I'm lazy. What do you usually cry about? PTSD. Do you like pizza better on the second day? No. What do you like on your pancakes? Butter and normal syrup. Have you ever made up your own emoticon? I don't think so. How do you generally meet people? Online in one way or another. Have you ever seen a Broadway show in New York? No. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, "God Hates Your Outfit" by Jeffree Star lmao. Look, it's catchy. Can anyone in your immediate family play the guitar? No. Have you ever wished to be an internet celebrity? How about a ‘real’ one? No. Like I've actually *loosely* considered trying to be a let's player with my love of games, but I don't even want to *risk* popularity; not that I think I'd get to that point, but still, I don't like the chance. Have you ever been kayaking? No. Do you still live with your parents? Yes. Do you believe you will never get over someone? I think Jason will always occupy at the very least a small corner of my mind. I just deal with loss so poorly in general, but that... that breakup was something. What do you order at Burger King? I don't like BK. Have you ever lived by yourself? No. Pretty sure I never could with my depression. What brand cell phone do you have? It's just a Tracfone, lol. Did you ever have a ‘security blanket’ when you were younger? Yes, my stuffed moose. What is your lucky charm? I don’t have one. Have you ever been in a wedding? Yeah, I was a bridesmaid in my sister's. Do you believe in yourself? ehhhhhh What time does your dad usually wake up in the morning? I don't live with him, so I can't say for sure. He's a mailman though, so he gets up early, I know. Who was the last person/people you were in a car with? Mom. What movie do you plan on watching next? I've been meaning to watch Jacob's Ladder for like... over a year, lmao. It served as an inspirational work for Silent Hill, and I know its reputation is brilliant, so I really want to see it. I just... don't really watch movies unless I'm in the theater. When something really scares you, what’s your immediate reaction? Gasp or go "what the fuck" or something along those lines. I can almost promise a curse word is coming out of my mouth, lol. Using song lyrics, say something to your most recent ex: I don't wanna get emotional digging through the songs that remind me of her, so pass, lol. You can only watch 4 TV shows for the rest of your life. What are they? Meerkat Manor, That '70s Show, maybe Pokemon even if I don't watch it anymore (it could be like a comfort show if I'm limited to four), aaaaand I think Ginga Densetsu Weed. Do you think it’s possible for a rap song to make you cry? ... Yes??? There are a couple that have for me. Does the idea of having a baby at your age scare you? I'm not having kids, sooo I don't have to worry about this. What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None. I'd be really upset if some did, but I wouldn't cry. Who is your favourite famous person who isn’t a singer, actor, or athlete? Well, I WOULD say Mark, but considering he's officially an actor now... guess not, haha. Uhhhh. Put him aside and I guess maybe Bindi Irwin. I'm not sure.

[mubal4]

Wrapping It Up – The 4 x 4 x 48 Challenge        

 We are living in unique times.  Interesting way to describe this I guess, but it is unique.  Globally, we have pivoted, adapted, and by this time, created some new normals or at least different ways of doing things.  Likely, some good habits have been formed and some may have gone back to some old tricks 😊!!  I know I have consumed more beer and types of foods over the last two months than “normal.” 😊  It is all good though; based on what I’ve been fortunate enough to see, via social media, Facetiming/Video conferencing with family/friends, or just talking with folks, we’ve been overcoming these “unique” times well.  Although changes have been made, one thing that has remained consistent for me is running.  Overall, in the last 2+ months I don’t believe I am running farther or more. Like most of our lives, I’ve just changed some things up a bit.  Part of that has been due to timing and circumstances with the quarantine and social distancing; some because the type of race I have coming up in July; and part because some shit has just gotten boring to be honest.  So, when I saw this David Goggins Challenge video come across my Twitter feed, it grabbed my attention.

 You can watch the 1-minute video, but it is basically running 4 miles, every 4 hours, for 48 miles.  It was pretty cool how he positioned it too; “if you can’t run, walk; if you can walk; do pushups…….”  It seemed like his intent was to just to get people moving, out of their comfort zone, and adapting to the nonsense.  Since I am training for a 100-miler I thought this would be a great training exercise for a number of reasons.  Obviously, the mile over two days, sleep deprivation, nutrition planning, and one big differentiator, life commitments!!!  In the race, I won’t be thinking about family responsibilities, work, or puppy stuff 😊; it is just left foot, right foot. Since I started this on Thursday afternoon, I still had some conference calls to attend, work commitments, and family stuff so it added a layer.  That said, as it relates to the family commits, Robin, as per usual, and the girls, sacrificed a ton, not only with dinners and puppy stuff, but, at least for Robin, sleep too.  Thursday and Friday nights, I headed out at 1030pm and 230am.  The first session each night, Robin was just about headed to bed but at 230am she was sleeping, and I tried to be as quiet as possible, for her, as well as for the puppy too 😊.  It was nice to hear on Saturday morning once she woke up that that nights 230am session, she didn’t even hear me leave or come back.  Guess all these years doing these crazy things it is good her mind is at ease while I run around Phoenix at 230 in the morning 😊😊😊!! That all said, none of this really came to mind when Robin and I discussed doing it.  All I thought was 4 miles, every 4 hours, for 48 miles? I can do that!!  So, at 230pm on Thursday, we got things started, easy peasy and session 2 at 630pm was awesome with a sunset, late afternoon run; I was in my happy place.  All good.  Got back and had a quick dinner (I will get into the nutrition in a moment) and we all were just chilling on the couch.  Now, typically, Robin and I are toes up in bed by 10pm so, as my body clock was telling me, right around 945pm I started dozing a bit on the couch; fortunately, I had an alarm set just in case.  But the thing was, I was setting an alarm for 1010pm to go out and run 4 miles at 1030pm. Needless to say, as I was tying my shoes, my comment to Robin, “why the hell did I commit to this; this is f#$%ing stupid.”  She wished me a “have a good run, I will be sleeping when you get back.” 😊  The thoughts of feeling sorry for myself were quickly gone as soon as I started session number 3 and the night air, cooler temps, and darkness provided a different perspective to my run.  I wanted to run around our area of town just to see what was happening, if there was anything happening.  Out here in AZ, the stay at home orders are being lifted and there are a couple of restaurants/bars I would be running by so I was intrigued to say the least.  There were still a few folks out walking at that time and traffic was light; however, this one bar, about 1 mile from our house, was packed.  I guess the regulars were just waiting for things to be lifted.  I went by again on Friday nights 1030pm run too and same deal. I giggled a bit but it also gave me a sense of relief that maybe things are working toward “normal.” Also, won’t lie, a beer sounded good at that time.

 This is where adapting needed to happen because my body and internal clock was not going to be used to these next 30 or so hours.  Running the initial 12 miles from 230pm through 1030pm wasn’t much out of the realm of my comfort zone.  Now, I was getting home at 11pm, trying not to wake up Robin and the dog (the girls were still up doing what teenage girls do at that time 😊), getting fluids in, getting cleaned up, and getting things ready for 230am…….& hopefully trying to get sleep.  Well, I was a bit amped up from the run so I thought that sleep was going to be tough.  I got cleaned up, got plenty of water in me, and then figured I would watch some TV to put me to bed.  Well, that worked, and I fell right asleep and woke up about 90 minutes later.  Interestingly getting up at this moment and getting out was much easier than at 1030pm. Not sure why but it was.  The run, however, was a bit weird and at both 230am sessions.  I kept these 2 runs close to the house around this 1.35-mile loop.  I didn’t want to stray to for, well, since it is 230am. On the first loop, Thursday, I guess this would be Friday morning, I first heard a rooster crowing!!  Yep, a rooster – we don’t live near any farmland.  On the second loop, I heard what I thought was a leaf blower…..@ 230am?  What the hell?  Then, the most interesting thing happened on the last loop.  I was on this one road, drive it daily, and I white SUV pulls out of a side street.  Okay, at that time of night, could be going to work, coming back, whatever.  They pull out but just turnaround and head back where they came.  My first thought was that maybe they were scouting out homes/cars to break into or something or, maybe they were just drunk.  No big deal. I finished up the run and went home; didn’t think about it.  However, 24 hours later, on that same loop at that same time, same car, same spot, pulls out, now we are going towards one another, it stops…………I kept running, faster now and find a dark spot on the road, click off my headlamp and stop. The car was already moving but then did the same thing, u-turn in the middle of the road.  This was a bit freeky man and it was on my first loop too. I was running by there two more times. Holy shit right!!  Well, nothing happened but it was just some weird stuff. I told Robin yesterday afternoon that I was going to go up there all next week at 230am, dressed in all black and see what happens 😊.  

 That was pretty much the only excitement of the event.  Back to Friday morning, since the nature of this event, getting time on the trails was difficult but did go out at 630am Friday.  Got on the trail, got some climbing in and it was a beautiful day. Stopped to take a shot of the trails from the top that I shared above.  Also was able to get out on the trails Friday night and Saturday morning.  Friday night I was able to meet a nice rattlesnake too!!! By “meet” I mean he was on the side of the trail and scared the poop out of me.  I never did see him, just heard him.  Not sure if I would rather face the white SUV or the rattler?  The remaining sessions were all, pretty much, uneventful; just getting them done and keep moving forward.  Overall, it was a great challenge and believe awesome training on many fronts. Although there wasn’t much climbing, it did offer a number of different layers that will definitely help come July. Want to again thank Robin and the girls for all the support, sacrifice, and help they provide me during these nutty things I do.  All the folks that reached out via text, calls, or the FB live sessions, thank you very much.  Very inspirational and you guys helped keep me going.  

 Haven’t been much into statistics and stuff when it comes to these kinds of things.  Hell, up until January I was still using my 20+ year old Ironman stopwatch but Robin got me this Garmin one for Christmas and it has been fun to sort of geek out with it.  So, for those that may be interested, I am providing some “noticings” from the 4x4x48 event.  Thanks again for keeping me going and following along 😊!!

 ·         Started at 230pm 5/14 and ended at 1059am 5/16 – total hours = 44.5-ish!  

·         Total miles = 48.7

·         Total running time = 433 minutes (7 hrs 13 mins) – thought this was interesting that it was an exact number.  Zero seconds after added up 😊

·         Average pace = 8:53 (36:05 average for each 4ish mile session

·         Total Vert = 1186

·         Sleep = approximately 5 hours total

·         9 shirts & 7 pairs of shorts (yep – reused shorts – easy to do when you jump in the pool after a run), 12 pairs of socks, 3 different pairs of running shoes

·         Food intake – 2 strawberry/banana milkshakes, 2 peanut butter/banana Clif bars, 2 apples, 1 grilled cheese, 2 hummus tortilla wraps, approximately a half a box of regular Cheeze-itz (original flavor), couple handfuls of peanut butter pretzels, 1 double expresso Clif bar gel

[ironzombes]

Zue - age 17; reasons to leave

<<Oi, ya fuckin’ muv ou elz.>> Zue shoved through the crowd of people as he tightened the scarf around his mouth. The dust was particularly bad today, but it couldn’t be helped. The supply ships had just touched down and it was all still settling. It mainly felt like it was settling in his lungs, but that was also usual.

The other grumbled and he could hear some complaints, but as the resident full-time medic, they let him be especially because he only went straight for the medicine. While the medicine was important, it was considerably less important than food. He would let the others squabble on about it. His hands were instantly on the crates, opening them up and looking through them.

He had been doing this for years now, month after month. It felt like second nature to him now. At first he had been so hesitant and scared to tell people what medicine to take, how to properly take it, and how to ration it. But through the years, he found his footing. It helped that his patients did much better than before. They still died. The mines weren’t kind, nothing about this life was kind, but he was making it more bearable. That was the best he could offer them and they seemed willing to take it. If at the very least the years of doing this had gotten Koi off his back. The woman no longer pestered him so much. At least something good had come out of it.

The redhead began to task of sorting through what they got and making notes as to how much of it they got. The sun felt hot on his back, but it only made him tighten the scarf. Even if he felt like he was suffocating he couldn’t get sick today. Not today of all days. The medicine felt like it was about to slip through his hands they were so sweaty. It was hard to tell if it was because of his nerves or just the heat.

The day dragged on. He went through the crates, trying to rush but knowing he had to go slow. He separated everything to the right pockets of communities. The people came by to collect their medicine and with it, he gave them instructions. It always felt like a hassle giving directions. They always wanted to fight him. He was sure it was out of habit because they did whatever he said any ways, but it was annoying. And worst, it was time consuming. He didn’t have time for them and perhaps he was quicker to snap at them until they left his sight. He only paused to watch the suppliers leave. He no longer cared to go with them. That dream had died a long time ago. It was probably for the best. Reality wasn’t kind to dreamers and it was best to not have any.

Which felt like a load of shit considering what he was doing now.

Finally he was finished. He felt dizzy from standing out in the sun for hours on end. He felt hungry and extremely thirsty, but also like he might throw up. But there wasn’t any time for that. The sun was dipping low. It was beginning to set and that worried him. He was late. Oh so fucking late. Redoing the laces on his boots, he quickly took off among some shouts for help about some medicine or another. He’d deal with them in a bit. He had to get home.

Zue took off running, pressing hard. He grabbed at his chest as he ran. His heart couldn’t give out today. He wasn’t going to pass out. Today was too important. Even if the blackness came, he’d run right through it. He had to. Time seemed to slow and wane around him as he went home, the bag heavy as it slammed into his legs. By the time he had made it to his house, he was left gasping for air and had to take the scarf from around his mouth. He coughed and held onto the side of the house as he tried to steady himself. He did his counting, forcing himself to take slow and steady breaths. He hated it but it was the only thing to help get his breathing under control. He went inside the house before it was fully under control.

He nearly ran into a kid running around. He scowled at the child before looking towards Koi. She was sitting. She didn’t walk a lot any more. Her hips were too weak and she tired out too easily. He was pretty sure the kid on her lap was her last one. She shifted and looked at him expectedly. He reached into the bag and found the bottle he was looking for. Opening it up, he gave her the painkillers. He couldn’t trust her to have it herself. Last time he had, the woman had downed the whole thing in one go it felt like.

<<Sha eat, ja?>> Zue checked, watching Koi sit back into the couch.

<<Naw. Naw houngra. Ain’t goin’ waste naw food ta let it sit thur.>> Koi shrugged her shoulders.

<<Ya suppose ta feed her! That tha deal!>> Zue let his anger rise up and regretted instantly giving her the pain medicine. She just looked at him and shook her head. That angered him more and he kicked the couch she sat on, startling the baby and causing it to cry. He hated this house. He hated these kids. He hated everything about it. He would’ve screamed in frustration but he knew she was in the next room. All he could offer right now was the knowledge he could hold back the medicine from Koi next time. Let her suffer a little bit for being a bitch.

Zue stormed into the kitchen and did his best to not slam things around as he opened one of the packets of dried mush they called food. He put a bit of water in it and sealed it off as best as he could, shaking it gently. The pouch was clever, it had something that would warm up when it was shaken. Soon enough, he had something warm to eat. He grabbed a spoon and swirled around the inside, trying to dissolve the bits and pieces. It smelled terrible, but at this point, he didn’t care. He shot Koi another glare as he went into the side room.

<<Oi, Mao. I’z home.>> He kept his voice low and gentle as he went over to the bed. He sat on the edge, feeling it dip below his weight. He tried to smile as Mao turned to look at him but they both knew it was forced.

It was one of Mao’s better days. She didn’t appear to be wheezing as badly as she usually did. It looked like someone had pulled the window curtain back a bit, so she got some sunlight. Still, her eyes looked sunken and her cheeks were hollow. The red hair that had been so long had long since fallen out. She reached out to lay her hand on his lap and he didn’t look at it because he knew it’d be close to looking at a skeleton. She managed to smile to him and patted his leg before taking her hand back. She turned her head towards the window. The stars were just rising in the purple sky.

<<Oi, oi. Ya eat, ja? Tha the deal. Ya eat. I’z help ya. Lemma get ya up.>> He got up and carefully went about collecting pillows from around the room to prop her up slightly so she might be able to eat. He took a seat near her chest, stirring the mush again. <<’Ere we go, ja?>> He pulled out a spoonful, twisting to feed her but she was still staring out the window. Mao wasn’t stupid, even now in her sickness. She had gotten quieter, but she definitely wasn’t stupid. He looked out the window, trying to follow her gaze but he wasn’t able to see whatever she saw.

<<Mao…plez… Eat, ja?>> Zue could feel his voice breaking, his hand trembling. He had to put the spoon back in the bag to stop himself from spilling it everywhere. He had thought he had gotten himself to stop crying long ago. In reality, he had just gotten so much better at hiding it. His vision blurred as he tried to blink away the tears.

<<…tha sky. Itz so big…>> Mao’s voice was quiet and he had to strain to hear her over the sounds of the children playing in the main room. <<Zee. Ya think…atha people ‘ere, they think it too?>> She turned to look at him, smiling.

<<I’z dunno. Maybeh…>> It took a lot of effort to try and mask how close to crying he was. Mao still knew. She always seemed to know. She laid a hand on his lap again.

<<Oi. Oi. Whyz ya cryin’? Nuftin’ ta be sad ‘bout.>> She managed a weak laugh that soon dissolved into a wheezing fit. His hand went to his bag, but she tapped his leg. <<Naw, naw.>> And then she was back to staring out the window.

Zue sat there, not knowing what to do. He felt like he was seven again, silently begging and waiting for Mao to tell him what to do. How to fix this. How to make everything better. But, she couldn’t. There was no fixing this. He finally reached down and took her hand. Despite having been a medic for almost a decade now, he had refused what was in front of his eyes. And now, he was finally accepting it. And despite what she said, there was so much to cry about. So he did. She didn’t say anything about it as he clutched her bony hand and cried harder than he thought he ever had. No one came into the room.

He refused to move and he stayed with her until her last wheezing fit. Mao convulsed and coughed up blood.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, holding onto her hand. Zue felt numb. He couldn’t even cry anymore. He stared at a spot on the floor. Time felt so sluggish and quick at the same time. His mind reeled with the idea of Mao no longer being here. What was here was a corpse. Like what he practiced on. This wasn’t his sister anymore. And suddenly, seizing onto that sudden bout of madness, he stood up. Zue didn't even look at her. He went and grabbed a bag, snatching clothes and whatever else he thought might be valuable. He stuffed it into the bag before leaving the bedroom. Koi blinked at him and the children looked startled as he stormed into the kitchen.

<<Oi, bo, wha got ya->>

<<Shu up, shu up! Fuck ya, fuck ya all!>>

Zue grabbed a few packets of food. He wasn’t too sure how much he had grabbed, he just grabbed and stuffed them in the bag. Koi was screaming something at him but he couldn’t hear her. He couldn’t pay attention to anything right now. He grabbed his scarf and the mask that Mao-

He shoved it quickly on his face and wrapped the scarf tightly around his head. He pulled the jacket close and left the house. Then, he started walking. He walked straight out of his little community, getting further and further away from the screams of Koi and the children. He came to the edge of his community and kept going. Past the next one, past the place where some of the miners gathered to drink, past it all. He past the supply ship drop off area and kept going.

And then suddenly, he found himself running. Zue didn’t know where he was running, he just did it. He ran out into the desert. He knew he couldn’t run far, not with his condition. And soon he had to stop. He turned to look back at his settlement, at the Dredge, a few bumps in the fading light on the horizon. He wheezed for air, staring hard at the settlement.

And then he started screaming. And he didn’t stop until he passed out.