#lambskier

[rosario-art]

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 148

All in all, it’s not the worst kidnapping Jaskier has been through. He’s blindfolded, but they’ve not gagged him! Score! His head’s still a little muggy, however, so he hasn’t been able to make his mouth really say anything… not yet.

he’s tied to… a tree? A pole? Maybe a beam or column? He can’t tell if he’s outside or inside yet, on account of the whole blindfold and muggy head thing he explained earlier. "H- Hello?" He finally manages to call out. "Welcome to the waking world, My Lord~" A voice mocks. Jaskier has a bad feeling about the voice, even aside from the fact the voice is most definitely his kidnapper, it also just has very bad vibes overall.. It reminds Jaskier of an ooze. Or... Or sewage. Something.... Slimey. Icky. Blegcky... The fog in his brain starts to clear a little bit more.. Lord.. He called him lord. Jaskier is no lord. Julian was a lord. Jaskier is not Julian, not any more. That rings many alarm bells in Jaskier's head. They're expecting a man that Jaskier considers dead to the world. "Looks like he's panicking, Boss." Oh shit. There were multiple. "Aww, that's cute." Another one mocks. "Don't worry, lordling, as soon as your parents pay the ransom, you'll be free." Yet another one says. Uh oh. This is quite frankly too many voices for Jaskier to focus on right now. He has a LOT of other things to focus on right now! Like the fact they think his parents are going to be paying a ransom? As if! Oh Melitele, he's going to die here! ...Unless... "W- What address are you sending it to?" "The Pankratz estate, obviously." "They won't be there to get your message, good sirs! They're actually in their holiday home in the blue mountains! I- In Kaedwen!" Jaskier prays this works.

[naconaco]

[blooms-in-april]

Me, screenshotting this to show my beta as I write chapter 3 of my angsty Lamden Lambskier Geraskier disaster modern fic.

Lambert and his Cat having a rare lie-in on the Path on a sun drenched morning! Re-coloring and finishing my older Laiden lines recently helped break through some of the art-block I've been struggling with and I was inspired to draw another softer and more 'couple-y' piece for them! I just want good things for our oft-tragic boys!

[dimancheetoile]

My contributor posts are up!

I'm offering two stories, one at 5-10k and one at 5k or less. Don't forget to scroll down to find both posts, there isn't just a single post with both offerings like last year.

The fandoms I'm writing for are:

Naruto

Mass Effect

Dishonored

The Witcher

You can see all the details for ships, prefered themes as well as stuff I won't write about. There's also access to the two bidding sheets where you can big on the stories. If you win the bid, you'll have to choose one of my selected charities/orgs and donate the amount you pledged.

I want to clarify something; on my contributor posts, you'll see the last org you can donate to is the Ehlers-Danlos Society. As a creator, we can choose to add charities/orgs that mean a lot to us and this is mine. I suffer from EDS and my quality of life is near unliveable. I can't work, I'm on 100% disability and I get benefits. My full-time job is to lay in bed and suffer from debilitating, neverending chronic pain. The EDS Society is pretty much the only org in the world that consistently, every year, gives out grants for research and organises dozens of summits to share the results of that research, they teach for free to healthcare professionals, they give resources to patients and family, they're the best. So if you decide to bid on my stories, I'd appreciate if you'd consider choosing the EDS Society from the list of orgs I selected. It's totally fine if you'd rather give to one of the three others I chose from the list provided by FTH, ofc.

I'll see you soon when the bidding opens!

[churchofpossum]

Some soft modern AU bombard. The prompt was NX!Lambert and oversized hockey jersey.

[kingthunder]

Hi I sweated blood to write this please clap

[beli-heart]

Lamskier reading nook comfort

Jaskier doesn’t mind being distracted by Lambert kissing his cheek. 🫧💕

[thequeeninyellowlace]

Help, y’all! A fic I love but somehow didn’t bookmark has disappeared! Am hoping someone knows of it.

Lambert and Jaskier get drunk and fall into bed, upon which Jaskier discovers that the Trials made Lambert impotent.

He’s never had sex or an orgasm, ever.

Jaskier teaches him the joys of having a prostate.

There’s a second part in which Lambert buys a dildo for himself to practice with at a brothel.

[endiness]

"it'd have to be a drunken Lambert stealing his lute and having a little play"

PLS 🙏

[blooms-in-april]

When you have chapter 3 of your Lambden Lamskier Geraskier angst modern AU 99% complete but you just can't make yourself finish the damn thing.

[finnyphcntom]

notorious.

--------

Chapter One : The Word Hate

--------

Did he over exaggerate? Yes. But something inside of him just.. felt weird when Dandelion was shamed upon. Geralt wasn't that bad of a dude, especially to Dandelion.

Lambert hated to say- yes, hated, that word again. He hated that he actually enjoyed Dandelion's presence.

--------

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh but id lovee to convince you. maybe we can get a lil tipsy and ill go home with you, yeah handsome? ;)'

--------

Lambert was... notoriously known, for many things. What things? Well, the list is long, but here is the simplified version;

Being a bitch.

And then there was... well, thats about it.

He hated, hated, just about... Well, all? Of Geralts friends. Eskel would always say, "hate is such a strong word,"

Well no shit. He knew that, used it for a reason.

Speaking of hate, he hates when they hang out.

He was rather tired of everyone hanging out without inviting him. Yeah, he'd decline with a 'fuck no' or 'i hate triss lol' but, hell, he still wants at least an invite.

But no one bothered to invite him anymore.

They act like he doesnt know, isnt aware, of these events. Hes heard them talk, all because hes 'too angsty.'

Be real. If they had an Aiden, and then said Aiden died, theyd he angsty too.

Which, he will say, Geralt does have his Aiden.

Dandelion.

Lambert hated to say- yes, hated, that word again. He hated that he actually enjoyed Dandelion's presence.

And do you know what he hates even more?

That hes jealous.

He hates that he's jealous, and hates that he doesnt know what over.

Over Geralt? Maybe.

Over Dandelion? Maybe.

The fact that Dandelion gets invited to hangouts? Maybe.

Oooor the fact that Geralt, who treats Dandelion like shit, gets to keep his best friend. And he doesnt. Bingo, baby.

Well, okay, maybe it was a mix of all four.

But no, he heard of this party that was happening at Yennefer's house. How could he not? Kiera informed him alllll about it.

And another thing he was known for; not only being a bitch, but a petty one at that.

He was going to show up at that damn party.

~~~~~~

Lambert expected many things in his day. To fold clothes, deal with shitty customers, fold clothes again, to fix registers because somehow no one else knew how to do that, and then to again, you guessed it, fold clothes. Oh, and deal with shitty customers.

And then, he would go home around 3pm, just to clean horse shit and feed the goats on the farm. Only sometimes would he find holes in his perfectly good jeans.

But what he didnt expect? His phone to light up with a text. Ever since losing his girlfriend, he hasnt had a single text, other than from Eskel.

Eskel was a family man. Soft, sympathetic. He thinks he would have a little bit more trouble lying and hiding stuff behind his back. He thinks any of these people who are hosting these parties, throwing the- his phone dings again.

Oh, right. He was so used to a lonely phone that he forgot it went off.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : hey lambert, i know we dont really talk but what time is that party tomorrow? ive got a performance that day and want to arrange an uber ^-^'

Holy fucking shit? It had to be Dandelion. No one else in the group was talented enough with music to perform it.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : also!! how come u never go? :('

That was the second message.

Did Dandelion not know?

What does he do? He hated to say that his heart was racing. Why was his heart racing? It was just Dandelion. Just a rising celebrity with like seven degrees- from Oxenfurt no less- and his brothers best friend.

His heart was fucking racing. Does he be cool? Does he be mysterious? Should he even answer?

No, no he had to answer.

The few times hes talked to Dandelion have been.. amazing, actually. Of course, Dandelion had an issue with talking to strangers, and also, well, sleeping with strangers, but that was fine. Lambert felt like Dandelion enjoyed talking to, well...

Lambert.

Not Geralts brother, not a bitch (which he will admit he is,) not a depressed, angsty man who practically lives in his room at the farm he grew up on. Which he was.

His phone dings again. Shit.

Lambert grabs his phone off of his car mount this time, sitting in the parking lot of his shitty retail job at Cavill's Combat.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh shit my bad i probably shouldve clarified. this is dandelion im sorry'

Be chill Lambert.

'lambert : heyy yeah no youre good lol'

The multiple y's were cool? Right? Showed he was calm. One Y was boring, three was excessive. Right?

'lambert : as for the party, i have no clue thats a geralt question.'

He decides not to answer the second question. For now.

He puts his phone back on the mount and his car in drive, pretending like he didn't flinch at the sound of the bluetooth connecting.

His phone dings again, and he cant answer, but he does peak at the message.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : well i wou .. geral ... mad ... ignoring me ...'

That was all he could see for now. Quit frankly, that was all he needed to see.

Did Geralt ignore Dandelion whenever he was mad?

My brain was shut off upon hearing the first Hollywood Undead song start.

~~~~~

When I arrived home, I was bombarded with questions. Eskel was that type of man.

"How was your day at work?" He said from the kitchen, where Lambert was trying to sneak on by.

"Long." Lambert said. "Henry wasnt there."

His boss. Whenever Henry was gone, Lambert had to pick up all the shit- as an assistant store manager.

"Didnt have to fix anything today though, right?" Eskel said.

What a fake fucking bitch, Lambert thought.

"So... do you want me to fix you something to eat?"

He heard it, but didnt register it.

Being the odd one out was quite the funny thing. He lost his best, childhood friend of 14 years in his sophomore year of college to suicide.

He drops out of said college. Decides to start therapy; ends up getting sent to a psych ward.

And now hes working at some shitty fucking retail job; and still working at his adoptive fathers farm.

Yeah, life was fucking great. A ball of fucking sunshine.

Eskel was a doctor. Geralt was a successful Butcher, working under their adoptive father.

And he was a depressed man with a shitty retail job.

"Hello? Lambert?"

Without thinking, Lambert grabs the nearest item which just so happened to be a decorative vase, squeezing it tightly...

"How are things since you ended it with Kiera?"

and throws it.

Right at Eskel.

He's rather lucky it misses. Shatters all over the ground instead of on Eskel's mass.

"You're fake. Did you know that? You're a liar. You're a fraud. Stop with the fake fucking persona that you care about me."

And with that, he has no choice to storm away.

~~~~~

In his room, hes able to check his phone again. The text from Dandelion was sitting there, menacingly.

'lambert : does geralt always ignore u when hes mad at u?'

With how busy Dandelion was, you werent expecting an immediate response.

But you get one.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : typixally he tellsme to fuck off and rhats how i know hes mas at me'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : u should go :( ive never seen u there, i know u dont like me'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : but i got a few tricks up my sleeve to convince u too ;)'

It takes Lambert a bit to decipher Dandelions absolutely awful typing. For a man with an english degree, he is sure as hell bad at English.

Lambert kept reading the, 'i know u dont like me.'

Who the fuck told Dandelion that? Because Lambert has never, not once, discussed any sort of dislike for Dandelion.

If anything, Lambert actively defends his name. He remembers all the times Geralt spoke about ignoring Dandelion, called Dandelion annoying.

Lambert would always stick up for him.

Were there any good reasons why? He had a bunch, personally.

One, and the biggest reason, was that Lambert would kill in cold blood to be able to talk to his best friend again.

Two, is that Dandelion was a good person with good morals. And incredible talent. Dandelion deserved love and praise, not hate from his closest friend.

Three, he was oddly drawn to Dandelion. He didn't know why.

Did he over exaggerate? Yes. But something inside of him just.. felt weird when Dandelion was shamed upon. Geralt wasn't that bad of a dude, especially to Dandelion.

But it's common decency not to talk shit about your best friend when the person you're talking to lost theirs to suicide.

Kind of inconsiderate, Geralt.

'lambert : lol who told you that? i like you'

He suspects it was Triss. Maybe Yennefer had assumed? Lambert didnt really like anyone, it was a safe assumption. But Geralt knew- knew Lambert actually at least tolerated Dandelions presence.

He even told Geralt that he wanted to be Dandelion's friend. That Dandelion reminded him of Aiden. He opened up to Geralt, surely his own family wouldn't do him dirty like that?

Dandelion didnt answer, and Lambert didnt know why, but it disapointed him.

'lambert : i gotta know what those tricks are though, care if i ask for a little more convincing? ;)'

Lambert was going to shit his pants.

First, he double texts. Which is fine, because Dandelion like... quadruple texts. But then he had to hit on the man.

It was playful, right? It wasn't gay. Playful. A game.

Why was his heart racing again?

He was straight anyway.

~~~~~~

Eskel was full of concern at the dinner table when Lambert didnt show up. There sat Geralt and Vesemir, but Lamberts seat was eerily just.. empty.

"Lambert skipped his farm work today," Vesemir said, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes, before grabbing salt and shaking what seemed to be half the bottle in it. Taking another bite, he seemed satisfied.

"He didnt respond to my texts at all. Read every single one, too." Eskel said. "And he..."

Eskel did not want to throw Lambert under the bus. Not when it seemed something was seriously wrong.

"I had to pick up his fucking slack," Geralt said. "Seriously, this kid needs to grow up. We all work in jobs we don't like. I don't like slaughtering pigs and looking at blood, and I'm sure that Eskel doesn't like performing surgery. But we aren't babies about it."

Geralt was chewing into his food like a rabid animal, clearly angry. The steak that was on his plate was massacred, cut up and stabbed.

The walls at Kaer Morhen were pretty thin. The farm itself was nice, but the house wasn't in the perfect condition. It was pretty, but old, some of the rooms half-finished.

Therefore none of the men were surprised or so much as even flinched when Lambert yelled, seemingly speaking to his T.V screen and taking his anger out on Overwatch.

90% of Lambert's free time was spent on video games. It used to be with his girlfriend, Kiera, but she slowly started avoiding him.

He hardly noticed the change. It was gradual; slow, but eventually he caught on. She wasn't the same.

For his own sake, he left her. He will admit, he loved her, but it wasn't hard. She messaged him once every few days.

"He broke up with Kiera, Geralt." Eskel says. "And now hes having a rough time. Maybe we should cut him some slack."

"Don't really care. Shouldn't of been as toxic as he was." Geralt said.

"We should try to understand Lambert. He comes before a girl, Geralt. Put those events with her aside, it's clearly driving a wedge between the three of you."

They could hear Lambert; which means Lambert could hear them.

Toxic? That was funny. He devoted everything to that girl. She ran a small business he would fund- which typically took his full paycheck from Vesemir. Other than that, she didn't really work. He paid for everything.

Toxic was funny.

"Lambert was too much stress on her. Shes a girlfriend, not a therapist. Girls don't like emotional guys, I cant help that." Geralt says, sharply and angrily.

"Lambert hardly talks about emotions." Eskel corrects.

"Sure as hell corrects me all the damn time about them. Sick of him calling me ungrateful and shit. I cant control his losses." Geralt said, with a tone that ended the conversation there.

~~~~~~

Toxic was funny. Really, really funny. Was it toxic to correct your brother on his own toxic behavior?

Lambert didn't understand.

Geralt. A man who ran everything in his life with his dick, not his brain. Who cheated on women, who verbally abused his friends. Who ignores his so called "best friend" because he's mad.

Thats actually not really that bad, but whatever. Lambert was mad, and petty, and wondering why Dandelion hadn't answered him.

Why was he thinking of that? Not okay, Lambert. He's busy. Probably recording music and getting yelled at by his directors.

Toxic was funny, when Lambert was so loyal. When Lambert tried his best to fit in, he just genuinely never did.

Toxic was so, so funny.

His mind ran off, to a different place, one where theres grass and tulips and roses and fuck- Dandelions.

Dandelion.

Would Dandelion prioritize Lambert over Geralt? Sure, they'd talk. But when he's mad at Geralt. When Geralt's not around. He would be a rebound for a best friend.

Just like he was to Kiera.

He had just won a match when his phone dinged and lit up three times.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : hi ! sorry had to finish up recording a song for my album. stupid director :(

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : oh but id lovee to convince you. maybe we can get a lil tipsy and ill go home with you, yeah handsome? ;)'

Lambert was kicking his feet, giggling, and squealing like a high school girl. Well, his face was stoic, but mentally he was there. Mentally he was going insane.

He had never been hit on deliberately like that. Like stated before, he was the odd one out. With Geralt and Eskel his brothers, he was known as the ugly one of the family.

He was surprised when Kiera wanted him. Him, out of the three. He had made the move, god forbid a woman make a move on him. But she still accepted- still chose him.

She used to fuck with Geralt a couple years back, back when Geralt and Yennefer would cheat on each other. He always had girls left and right. Kiera, Yennefer, Triss, and boy, did he have a shit ton of one night stands.

He wasn't surprised when Kiera got distant. It hurt at first, but he realized one thing- thats life. She lost interest.

When people normally got to know him, they would see Geralt and run. They'd lose interest in him, all of the sudden. But Geralt would never take them from him though, he wasn't that bad a person.

And he wasn't a bad person either. But Geralt's best friend currently hitting on him? It shouldn't make him feel giddy inside. It shouldn't make him so happy that it felt like someone had chosen him over Geralt.

He couldn't help but smile.

But it was playful. It was all playful.

He couldn't help but feel his smile drop, as he went to read the last message from Dandelion. His face contorted in anger; wanting to lash out all over again.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : it was geralt. glad to see youve changed ur mind tho! <3'

[dragonsandwolvesohmy]

Fics with Medallion trees??? I remember reading one that was a little heartbreaking, explaining to Jaskier what the tree was, but I'd like more...

[eomereadig]

Snippet: Fucked Dumb

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Jaskier/Lambert

Rating: E

Tags: dumbification, dom!Jaskier, sub!Lambert, handjobs, power play, dom/sub dynamics, degradation, humiliation, subspace

Full fic now avaliable here

Lambert’s eyes were beginning to droop, relaxed as he was, practically drooling against Jaskier’s chest as the bard stroked up and down his back soothingly. They were wrapped up in each other atop their shared bed, a little nest of blankets surrounding them to keep out the chill. With one leg already thrown over Jaskier’s, Lambert burrowed closer to the bard’s side, pressed as tight as possible against the other. As Jaskier hummed a tune to himself, no doubt working on a melody for a future song, Lambert slipped into a state that was almost the same as mediation. 

The two of them had already been there a while but Jaskier showed no signs of boredom, content to have Lambert in his arms and watch the setting sun from the window. The witcher’s head felt as if it were full of cotton, nothing but the words ‘safe’, ‘warm’ and ‘love’ floating through his mind. Lambert wriggled contentedly. 

Gods, he loved Jaskier so much it hurt. Even just a year ago, he never would have imagined one day ending up where he was then - lazing about on Jaskier’s chest without a care in the world, completely open and vulnerable. The fact that Jaskier had managed to get him to that state was a feat in itself. He’d been uncommonly patient and thick skinned with Lambert, even after the two of them had finally fucked for the first time. It’d taken longer than either of them cared to admit for Lambert to open himself completely, but now that he had, he was glad for it. He cursed his own stubbornness when he remembered that he could have been there, in Jaskier’s arms, months - if not years ago. 

Jaskier shifted, stretching out a leg and signing contentedly when the joint popped. As he did so, his hip brushed Lambert’s erection where it was pressed against him, trapped between his clothes. Jaskier froze but didn’t become tense, and Lambert opened his eyes blearily from where they’d slipped closed. 

“Are you hard?”

His tone sounded a little accusatory but it was light enough that Lambert didn’t think he was in trouble. The witcher moved his hips a little. ‘Yep, definitely hard.’ He thought. Lambert hadn’t even noticed until Jaskier pointed it out to him, as safe and relaxed as he’d been feeling curled up against Jaskier’s side. He guessed it was the warmth and contact that had made him start to fill out, each and every one of his numerous walls lowered in Jaskier’s company. 

“Yeah… I guess I am…” He breathed. Jaskier snorted at that. 

Full fic now avaliable here

[kingthunder]

Chapter 3 is up now! I had a posting date error that backdated chapter 3 to May 2024 and it was up for a whole day before I noticed and fixed it lolsob. So please go check it out because you might have missed it in the tag!

[geraskierfanficprompts]

I second the "Jaskier and the kaer morhen moving company" tags from dearest @penandinkprincess I want to read a fic about Jaskier getting his strapping beautiful lads

Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting