#like I said — I'll try and queue stuff if I can

[daydreamgoddess14]

The Reading Rooms

Previous weeks Masterlist

Always remember to heed the warnings posted by the individual authors. What I'm happy to read may not be what you're happy to read, so I take no responsibility if you find something you're not into.

And finally, Tumblr is a community. Reblog, gush like you've never gushed before - I promise you, the authors below will love it, and love you for it! We write because we love to, but we share our work because we love the community of it. If you read something you like, let the world know! 💕

The List

Another busy week! Handed in my assignment - nothing like the last minute, right?! Posted TWO new chapters of Strategic Interests and a spicy one-shot - I'll Do That Thing based on a gif I couldn't stop watching (you can blame @sunday-bug for that one!) which completely blew up. Fun! I'm currently working on Strategic Interests chapter 7, For Your Consideration - January Part 2 AND another spicy one-shot. Apparently it's a new thing where I write sex acts I've never written before. Why not, it's good to try new things! 🤭

I also read some amazing stuff this week, and thanks to @azriona, I discovered how to properly use the queue so I can stop clogging up ya dash when I'm on a reblogging spree!

Bucky Barnes

It's been a Bucky week.

The Celibacy Challenge by @sunday-bug was so much fun, I too would have to nope out of every room and I would cave SO fast 😅

I'm SURE I'm behind on reblogs for Declassified but Chapter 12 landed just as I needed something to read before bed last night and it was AMAZINGGGG!!! My love for Kelsey is only challenged by my need to shake her right now, @dreamwritesimagines!

Sergent's magic mouth by @buckyseternaldoll. Please. Anything. I'll give anything. Also by Elle,

I love it when @societyfolklore blesses us with a short and sweet bit of filth. So good to us 🙌

@navybrat817 said the words 'Bucky is hot and fucks like a God' and we all nodded with our entire bodies - Back It Up

@buckysleftbicep wrote a dad's best friend Bucky fic and... good god, it's so hot - daddy's best friend. As was little black dress, clearly I am feral this week. I feel like I'm gonna look back on these lists and go, whooooh yeah that was a horny week, y'know?

In fact, I'm sticking with Lily here, I realised I accidentally reblogged a reblog - so sorry, love. Swipe Right was so, so quietly beautiful ����

@whitedarkmoonflower gave us the gorgeous Good morning and I would like to incorporate that and also Sweet Surrender into my morning routine please and thank you.

Saturdays with Bucky would be a dream. ngl. Loved this @buckybarnes82!

The Desperate to Devoted series by @buckets-and-trees was amazing!!

I will always rescue you by @firelilyfox was super sweet and lovely!

Happy Father's Day by @wildflowersandvibranium - this was the most adorable Father's Day everrrrr!!! Bucky is SUCH a girl dad, you cannot convince me otherwise!

The Suit Problem by @salty-tang - this was so hot and yessss, I can definitely see him ripping through those suits!! I've added the masterpost to my reading list AND it's so good to see another Congresswoman fic! 🙌

She Looks Nothing Like Me @writing-for-marvel - as a curvy girlie, I really felt this one! So, so lovely 🥹🥹

@buckybarnesfic BBF wrote their first fic!! About a stuffed dick!! Go read it, you will NOT be disappointed!!

A smutty talk you through it by @crowsofdarkness - no notes, just me begging, actually.

Ok, I've been neglecting my longreads - the 8/9/10/11k(+) fics that are all sitting in my drafts begging to be read. I've also just rescued a bunch of fics out of my likes so I can get to those for next week!

Phew! LFG!

[royalarchivist]

Missed a lot of streams so I'll try and queue some clips later when I can! Been touching grass (and I recommend other folks do it too if they're feeling overwhelmed / burnt out or just feeling bad in general)

[chaosxyzevolution]

New Year, exactly the same me, get ready for another Utopillian Zexal gifs.

[doodlingwren]

Hiatus

I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.

Thank you for your patience ❤

Wren

[sysig]

I'm almost finished with this notebook with it's horrible paper, and I just finished the first page of my Big Project

[dawntheduckrb]

Low resolution borb chilling on the curb

[kabr0ztrousers]

It is March and I am locking my mermaid story for mermay. A group of two mermaids and two mermen hold down and have a curiosity fuck with a human. I'll let you choose the sex and gender of the person and I'd like each mer to be based off a different type of fish.

Kabr0z Writes Episode 115: Oceanography

Find the rest of the Kabr0z Writes Anthology here!

AO3 yet persists

CWs: Double vaginal penetration; oviposition; impregnation; hypnosis; lingering hypnosis; dubcon; noncon; overstimulation; parasitic pregnancy; thalassophobia

A/N: It's a bank holiday weekend in the UK, and I'm spending a lot of it alone, so I'm hoping to put out some bonus episodes and catch up on lost time over the year so far!

That said I've got a few Mer-May stories in the queue (I do appreciate the foolhardiness of the person submitting one on the last day of April) so the bonuses will be on theme and the regular submissions will be the ones near the top of the queue!

Here's hoping typing that sunny optimism hasn't brought the writer's curse upon me!

####################################

You checked your gear, helped Brian check his, the usual. No tears in the BCD, inflates fine, regulators OK, gauges OK, air tastes fine if a little rubbery, you made sure you remembered how to release Brian's weights and he reminded himself of yours. The same battery of checks you'd run twice a day for the last fortnight mapping this reef, but the moment you slip on procedure, that's when shit goes sideways, and if shit goes sideways 20 metres under the sea, that's when people die.

Thankfully the water's warm in the Canaries. You'd hate to be doing this with a drysuit, and hey, tapas at the seaside was your favourite lunch. One dive in the morning, one in the afternoon, then the rest of the day writing reports in the sun with a glass of red wine, feeling the nitrogen bleed from your blood into your popping joints.

This morning's dive is an easy one, a couple of kilometres from a sleepy tourist town. A bit of a scramble to the waterline, but deep in and no exhausting surface swim until you're able to start your descent. Enough air budgeted for 90 minutes each and few boats, if any at all. Hell, the you got the existing maps for this area from a local scuba diving school, supposedly it's a nice spot to take the newbies to get qualified. Almost no dives this time of year, of course. January is the off-season, too cold for the Canarians and right at the start of the school term so there's very little chance of anyone disturbing you.

You slipped into the Atlantic water. Cold, but bearable, and you'd warm up as you went. Masks went on, regulators in, a signal to descend and you both bled the air from your BCDs. You sank like stones, the lead weights on your belts pulling you under the waves as you pinched your noses and equalised your ears. A puff of air through the low pressure hose, a quick shake to distribute it through your floatation, and you were suspended a couple of metres from the bottom. Your gauge read 10m deep. You smiled to yourself, almost wishing you'd saved this one for the afternoon. The maps didn't indicate much dropoff through your route. That 90 minutes of air would probably last you two hours at this depth, but you weren't keen on rewriting a plan on the fly, so you set the bezel on your watch and signaled OK to your buddy.

You followed him, snapping photos of the rocky reef as you tracked it around the coast. The plan was to get to a certain point taking photos, then turn around and track back casting a quadrant every twenty metres or so. It makes it easier to budget time and air doing the time-consuming stuff on the way back so if you have to scrub a dive early you're already on the way back in and can just take note of where you got to and refactor the plan when you revisit. Thankfully that's not happened so far, but again, the sea is always half-trying to end you so you can't get complacent.

You started noticing movement out of the corners of your eye, shadows on the edge of visibility. There wasn't meant to be anyone else here, but it's not impossible there's a party diving off a RIB idling nearby. If they were then you'd probably not see much of them but silhouettes against the infinite blue of the ocean, you don't bother taking a boat out to dive the shallows when they're this accessible. It just doesn't make sense.

Still, those ghosts hung in the oceanic fog, indistinct shapes on the edge of vision. You tapped your tank, getting Brian's attention and pointing out at them. He just shrugged and signaled asking if you wanted to scrub and come back later. You signaled no, keep going. You'd paid for 4 litres of air at 200 bar, and they'd charge you the same whether the tank was half full or totally empty. The worst some tourists would do is spear some of the invasive spiny urchins and frankly, let them. Fewer for you to count on the way back.

On you pressed, grabbing photos of the fauna as you went. You got a particularly nice shot of a cuttlefish you were looking forward to posting to your socials when you got ashore and plugged your camera in. Still you were seeing those shadows. Four of them. Their fins were unusual, you knew some people preferred the whale-style of fixed fins where you'd kick with both legs at the same time, but they're such a nightmare to get on and off you can't imagine four people choosing them. Maybe it's a challenge, or a bet? Yeah, you could see a group doing something like that for a bet. Probably agreed on over a few too many beers the night before.

You reached the turning around point. It only took 35 minutes to get here according to your bezel, and Brian's agreed. Still, plans are plans. You reset your time, 45 minutes to get back. Wiggle room is nice, but safety margins are better.

Brian pointed over your shoulder, you turned around to see them. The four shapes were swimming towards you, far faster than any human can go. They were too sleek, too streamlined, then it hit you. They're free diving. No tanks, no tubes, hell not even a snorkel between them.

Twenty metres out.

How could they be doing that? It's not impossible to free dive ten metres... Pearl divers do it all the time, but normally just hitting the bottom and making their way up, not hanging around in the water column for minutes at a time.

Ten metres.

That's how. At this distance the scales on their tails were much more visible, as were the enlarged eyes, gills and webbed hands. Merfolk.

The first one hit you like a freight train, snapping the quick release of your BCD and wrenching you out of it, the floatation device shooting to the surface like a cork, ripping your regulator out of your mouth as it took your tank with it. The second hit Brian, cutting his weight belt with a sharpened piece of glass, before throwing him upwards to meet your stricken gear.

You looked around, squinting in vein against the salt water that leaked into your mask as the reg hit it, held off the ocean floor by a long-spined merman.

Another merfolk, this one female, pressed her face against yours, invading your mouth with a long barbed tongue as she kissed you, before punching you in the gut.

Your breath left you in a flurry of bubbles before you gasped, filling your lungs with saltwater. You didn't drown. You took another few tentative breaths, feeling your lungs fill and empty. the merman behind you released your weights, using the buckle rather than a knife. The others approached from the shadow and you saw all four together.

The one who had been holding you was spiky and striped, dull red against vibrant white, vicious needles running from his hair down his spine, all the way to the end of his tail, just above his fin.

The other, the one who kissed you was also a dull reddish, but mottled with brown, still spiny, but hers were short, closer to her scaled skin and covering more of her back and arms.

Another mermaid had no spines at all, instead her scales were patterned in complex bands of black and white, giving her a striking appearance

The last merman had greenish blue scales, lined with vibrant orange leading to vivid yellow fins.

One thing united this coterie of merfolk, the hungry looks they all gave you. You looked up at Brian, he was floating on his belly, looking down at you. You motioned for him to go, swim back and get help. It's a bad idea to try to fight merfolk in the water, for the same reason you shouldn't try wrestling a tiger shark, and if they're letting you breathe down here, they're unlikely to kill you.

They would've done that already.

You looked at each one in turn, letting your arms dangle gently either side of you, floating in the water. Your knife had been in your BCD, you knew you weren't armed any more, but they might not.

You felt their gaze on you as you turned this way and that. Getting bolder, the spiny merman swam closer to you, taking you in his arms, kissing you again. All you could taste was salt when his tongue entered your mouth, it was smoother than the spiny lady's, but still forceful. He wasn't letting you mistake who was in charge here. A hand opened your legs, and you felt something cut through the neoprene fabric of your wetsuit, exposing your crotch. You winced, partly at the thought of having a blade that close to your pussy, partly because that's £70 you're never getting back.

The tail of the merman halfway down your throat pushed between your legs, replacing the vandal who'd just opened you. You felt his cock slide from the genital slit in his front, pressing up against you. The prehensile cock slid around your bikini bottoms, crumpling the gusset to the fold between your thigh and your cunt. You murmured as it massaged into you, a thick, slimy lube seeping from it, clinging to your skin, warm after the cold ocean water.

He wasn't giving you any more foreplay than that. His tip slid in as another merman slid behind you, cock already producing that thick slime, poised to enter your cunt alongside his spiky fellow.

You tried to protest, sonorous laughter came from the merfolk, each a slightly different call. The women swam up to you, their laughing turning to singing. the sound filled your mind. Your thoughts fled from the bright harmonies, the trilling vibratos scouring your reluctance from you. You started to suck on the tongue in your mouth, arching your back to help the bluish-green merman as his cock stretched you.

Even underwater, you could moan. The songs of the mermaids either side of you crooned to you, encouraging you to rock your hips, to gyrate on the cocks within you, feeling them ooze and pulse, until the pleasure ws too much for you.

Your body seized, cunt squeezing the rods together, feeling every ridge in both of them as you pulsed against them. You watched as the one in front of you tensed in unison with you, his face twisting into a snarl of primal desire before his cock pulsed inside you. Hot spunk washed into you, carried by more of the thick, lubricating slime, sticking to your insides as you heard the man behind you growl. You yipped as his jagged teeth bit into your ear, before sighing when he too started pumping hot sludge into you, thick and sticky. You stayed locked together, you riding the waves of your orgasm, them pumping you full of merman spunk, before they slid themselves out of you.

You hung in the water column, blissed out, hardly moving. The black and white mermaid stopped singing, pulling you horizontal and lining herself up with you. You hadn't learned much about merfolk before coming out here, they're much more common in the Mediterranean and Caribbean, with some in the North Sea, so it didn't seem much point. As a result, you didn't know about the ovipositor sheltered within her slit until she'd already hilted herself in you.

The spiny mermaid held your head in both hands, her wide, inhuman eyes locked with yours as her lilting voice kept you stupid and compliant, a drooling mess for the striped one to thrust into, stirring up the spunk with her ridged pseudopenis as she had her way.

Every ridge was heaven. Every thrust made your eyes cross, just a little more. Your tongue hung out as your hands kneaded your tits. Your whines and moans begged her not to stop, to keep going, to keep fucking you harder and harder.

The ovipositor pressed hard into you, the end touching your cervix before it started to spurt jets of tiny, grainy eggs into you. You felt them filling your womb, mingling with the sexual fluids left inside you by the mermen. Pump after pump flowed into you, before she pulled out, resuming her song.

The last one took her place at your gaping, clenching cunt. Her already-erect ovipositor sliding deep into you. You whimpered as her ridges tormented your overstimulated body, twitching and squirming against her, hearing her gasp, feeling her shudder. She fucked you hard and fast, not interested in your pleasure, even as she brought you screaming over the edge. Your writhing body and pulsing, clenching cunt pushed her to bury herself in you. A moment passed, then she too filled you with eggs, tiny spheres filling you, mingling with the others, each one a nymph-to-be, each one finding a sperm to partner with, bulging your womb with a fertile mixture. Pump after pump filled you, the jelly-like spawn going semi-hard within your body. None of it would come out until it was ready.

The foursome returned you to the surface, slipping your BCD back on, snapping the clips back together. Your hand reached for the control, filling the device with air, keeping you afloat.

You're not sure how long you stayed there, coughing up saltwater as you started breathing air again. An ambulance boat picked you up, and a Spanish paramedic gently told you that you'd need to return to these waters to give birth to the thousands of young within you.

Maybe it's the mermaid song, still flowing through the corridors of your mind, but that doesn't seem so bad

################################

Well, that one went long. Hope you all enjoyed it!

Like I said, this one jumped the queue a bit for Mer-May, but I'm planning on the regular episode for tonight as well, so for the person anxiously waiting for their (very) specific fanfic, don't worry, I'm still more or less on schedule for it! In fact, this was in front of you anyway, so rejoice!

I'm only queue jumping for Mer-May submissions on these bonus episodes, on days I feel like I can manage writing 2 episodes. Bashing out 2000+ words is tough at the best of times, doing that then trying to do another episode? I might strain something!

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[gguk-n]

Hate you (Lando Norris x Reader)

{Lando's POV}

As I lay in my bed, the sheets felt cold, devoid of any warmth; as if their previous owner had taken it all with them. I found myself staring at ceiling after spending the better part of the night twisting and turning in my bed.

"Lan, babe" she whispered, "can't sleep?" she asked. My eyes locked with her, a gap in between us while we lay in bed. As if on queue, she opened her arms, "come here" she mumbled. "I'm too sleepy to be still awake" she continued. I scooted closer, into her arms. I found myself laying on her open arm while the other wrapped it self around my shoulder; our legs tangling themselves in each other. "Go to sleep, love" she whispered while her hand raked through my hair and kissed my forehead. I heard the rhythmic beating of her heart, lulling me to sleep.

A tear slipped out of my eyes, pooling on the pillow case under me. I spent the entire night tossing and turning as I tried to chase the sleep that never came to me. Morning couldn't come any sooner, I decided to head out to the gym and get done with my work out and exercise for the day. It helped my thoughts from running rampant as I focused my energy on the task at hand. As I opened the door, "Babe, I'm back" I called out, only to be met with the cold gust of wind that blew at me. I slowly walked into the kitchen to open the fridge and grab myself something to eat. It was empty.

"Lan, here, I heated up your breakfast for you." she said, handing me a bowl of the diet food I was supposed to eat, as recommended by my trainer. But her cooking made the food so much more delicious and I never felt like I was ever on a diet. I pecked her lips while grabbing the bowl from her hands. "What would I do without you?" I asked with a laugh. "Crash and burn" she replied proudly turning to get back to meal prepping for me.

The last time I had asked my trainer to send me my pre-cooked meals was years ago. Since we had started dating, she had taken the role of making my food. The fridge now lay barren, a remnant of her absence. I poured myself a glass of water and went back to my room.

The bedroom felt like a hotel room, devoid of any character. My stuff lay sprawled out on the floor. The small trinkets or the photo frames that adorned my side table were missing. The dressing table looked cold and my closet empty.

"Babe, you're gonna have to buy new hangers, a couple more towels and some cleaning supply." she called out as she unpacked her bag for the first time as she moved into my our flat. "You know what my card pin is, order whatever you need" I replied. "I'm gonna stock up on my skin care too" she teased. "You can buy the Kohinoor diamond if you want" I teased back. I could hear her laugh echo through out, making my heart warm and fuzzy. She spent the next couple of months turning my stock image of a flat into a home. There were clothes, books, magazines, utensils and candles decorating our home. She took her time making this place ours.

Right now, our my home was back to it's stock image self. All the picture frames and the candles were empty and missing their owner. I stepped into the shower to find the shelf empty which was usually filled with all her shampoos and conditioners.

"It's a good thing" she said as she massaged the shampoo into my scalp. "What is?" I asked, enjoying the sensation. "The fact that the both of us have curly hair. Your hair's taking my products pretty well" she replied. "Yeah, you've made me hotter than I already am" I joked. "Hair can do a lot for a man" she said solemnly. "I'll wash this out and we'll try the new conditioner and curling cream I got yesterday" she giggled while grabbing the bottles.

My hair was a mess since she left. I never paid attention to what she used, she's always make me look even more handsome than I was. I got done with the shower and decided to grab something to eat from outside and left the house with the keys to my McLaren. I hadn't taken the Lambo out since she left because it was her favourite car and it smelled like her.

The next couple of day were spent without much sleep and the most outer body experience. I found myself at the club asking the bartend to get me drink after drink to drown out my sorrow. I kept telling my self that she was selfish and she never thought about me before breaking up. I drowned drink after drink lamenting the lost of the best person I knew. She was selfish, she broke my heart and took it with her. It wasn't fair on me since she decided to prioritise herself and forget all the good times we had; I told myself. "I hate her" I mumbled as I downed another glass of whiskey. Before I know it, Max was wrapping his arm around my waist and walking me back to his car. I didn't feel as inebriated as I wished I did, to not be able to remember anything.

She had been anxious the whole weekend, fidgeting with her fingers as she sat in my drivers room. Every time I asked her about it, she would brush me off. I decided not to press her wait for her to spill it out. After the race on Sunday, we headed back on the private jet, just the two of us. The flight wasn't very long and I couldn't wait to get home. Her posture had gotten even more tense then before. "Lando, we need to talk" she said barely above a whisper. This couldn't be good, she never called me by my name. Her hands clasped and unclasped themselves while she rocked a bit on her heels. "I got an offer, from that video game company that I love" she began. "That's great news baby" I lunged forward holding her hands. She pulled her hands away from me, "They are based in Australia" she spoke. "That doesn't matter. You'll be working remotely anyways." I suggested. "Actually" she spoke, "They want me to come in to the office, since the new game they are working on is top secret and it's a big deal for them too" she finished. "Well I can travel with you whenever you need and you can come and go" I suggested. "I might not be able to come to any races or stay in Monaco for the next couple of years" she said tentatively. "What" I almost screamed. "How can you make such a decision without talking with me?" I shouted. "I never made the decision. It's just that, this is like a dream come true for me, you know" she replied meekly with tears in her eyes. "You don't care about me. How can you be so selfish?" I cried out. "baby, I'm not, I...this is a once in a life time opportunity" she croaked out. "You don't love me" I mumbled. "What no, baby" she reached out to hold my face in between her hands, but I was angry and I pushed her away. How could she be so selfish and decide to move away after so many years together? "I love you, I really do but we talked about how long distance was a deal breaker for you, so I wanted to discuss this with you" she cried out. "yeah, it is. I can't imagine being away from the one I love" I spat out. "I love you Lando, I really do but this my dream like Formula one is yours" she whimpered. "You can't be serious right" I muttered. It was the anger talking; before thinking it through; "We're done" I said in a sharp voice. I got up from my seat and walked away to the door since we had just landed.

She ran after me, begging me to reconsider but I was too angry and I wasn't thinking straight. I broke up with her and didn't even look back. I stayed back at Max's place as she emptied out the apartment. All I could do was hate her for not wanting to stay, to numb the pain away.

The next morning I woke up to a note from Max and a glass of water with some pain meds. I drank the water and took my medicines. As I placed the glass back, my finger got caught in the lowest drawer of my side table which came open as I moved away. In front me lay polaroids from our dates. The one's I had taken. The top one was of her sending a flying kiss and the one next to it was of us kissing. It hurt seeing these, now. I couldn’t help but cry. I knew, deep down that the only way I would be able to make the pain go away was by making her the villain even though she wasn't one; because I was selfish and didn't want to feel the hurt.

[yeostars]

𓆩♡𓆪 ateez kissing your hand out of their affection for you <3

{maknae line ver.!}

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

ᯓ★ san

• "sannie, make sure to tell them to add extra sugar in my coffee. You know I like sweet stuff, right?" You tap your boyfriend on the shoulder, who's standing in the queue at your nearby café store. You both decided to go try out the deserts and coffee at the newly opened café because the whole town was talking about it, and san knew how much you loved sugary foods so he accompanied you here.

• "You're already full of sweetness, my love, how much more sweetness do you need, y/nnie~" San said this, almost shouting and that too in front of all those people in the queue. Your cheeks immediately turned red because of san's words and the fact that quite a few people were starting at you right now.

• "Common. D-dont say such stuff in front of everyone. I'll be waiting for you at the tabl-" before you even got to complete your sentence, san grabbed you by your wrist, almost twirled you around and placed a sweet kiss on the back of your palm. You were even more flustered than before now. "Mmm. Definitely much sweeter than the deserts we'll have later, I can guarantee you that." San said, grinning. You playfully slapped him on the arm and returned to your seat, thinking what the hell just happened and why your boyfriend was such a cheeseball- but let's be honest, you loved it.

ᯓ★ Mingi

• Since it was the weekend, you decided to go shopping with your boyfriend at a nearby mall. You both wanted to buy a few new clothes and other stuff since a long time and now you finally got the opportunity to do so, together.

• You both entered a store which had absolutely stunning collections in both male and female options. While Mingi was strolling through the males section, you were are the females section and a beautiful dress caught your eye. However, the form of that dress seemed unsettling to you. You were contemplating long and hard weather you should buy that dress or not, and amidst that, mingi appeared besides you, asking you weather you had selected something to buy.

• "Nothing much yet, but hey, what do you think about that dress?" You asked him, pointing at it at the above rack. Before mingi could even respond, you added "I- I'm not sure it would fit me well. It looks so beautiful but I surely won't pull it off that well." You said. Mingi noticed your cute pout while looking at that dress and slowly took hold your hand near to him, and placed a soft kiss at the back of your palm. "You'd look amazing in that, y/n, I'm so sure of it. How about you go try it in the changing room, atleast? Although I'm sure you don't need to do that because according to my vision, you'll look GORGEOUS in it." Mingi said, and you flashed him a grateful smile, your heart melting because of his words. "you're too sweet. You flatter me all the time."

ᯓ★ Wooyoung

• You and your boyfriend were enjoying a day off at home, doing your own stuff: you were reading a book and wooyoung was gaming in the living room. You came up to wooyoung after you finished reading your book, sitting next to him on the couch, watching him game. "Hey, I wanna try gaming too. Mind if I play against you?" You said, watching how interesting the game he was playing looked like.

• Wooyoung let out a witch-like laugh. "Gaming? And you? Y/n, babe, please- last time you asked me to let you try out gaming, you were so frustrated you almost broke my gaming equipment. Not to mention what an absolute noob you are at playing. I-" You flashed him a pout and crossed your arms at him, not in a cute way but it was your habit when he teased you about something.

• "Fine, i just wanted to spend some time with you, and all you do is tease me. Guess I'll just go hang out with my friends for the rest of the day, then." You said, picking up your phone to text your friends, but wooyoung kept his gaming console aside, and took hold of your hands, gently kissing your knuckles. "Hey, I'm sorry. You know that I love to tease you because of how cute you are, right? How about we cook something delicious later together, cooking is something we're both very good at." He said, and you flashed him a smile, searching up on what you and wooyoung could cook together later.

• Jongho

• Jongho mentioned to you, on the phone that he'd come home a little late than usual because of their extended rehearsal. You asked him if he had dinner yet and he replied that he didn't have it, yet. You told him to not eat outside because you were preparing a special dinner for the both of you tonight, and Jongho said that he'll come home as soon as he can.

• An hour and a half later, the doorbell rang, and you opened the door, revealing your boyfriend in quite an exhausted state. You asked him to sit directly at the dinner table to eat. "Damn, i smell something delicious. Y/n, you won't believe how much I contemplated not eating whatever the boys had ordered from outside- I told them I'm leaving space in my stomach because you cooked something special for me. It better be good- I'm sure it is, actually." He said, and you giggled, setting up his food for him on his plate. He tasted one of his favourite dishes and a sigh of satisfaction left his mouth. "Mm, that's so delicious. As expected, your food never ever disappoints, Y/N." He said, and you smiled, watching him eat heartily.

• "I'm glad you liked it so much. A part of why I love cooking for you is because of your reaction and how well you eat whatever I make for you." You said, after the both of you finished eating and Jongho helped you take the dishes to the sink. "And a part of why I love you- is because you make such delicious dishes for me. Thank you, Y/N." He said, taking hold of your hand & kissing the back of your palm, gently. You blushed, whispering "you're always welcome", thinking about him kissing your hand the entire night - your smile never fading while reminiscing that moment.

[bilightningwhumper]

@may-lancholy 2025- Day 27

Forced Into Silence- Lumina

Fish Out of Water Masterlist

Lumina

“Hello.”

Lumina looked up.

It was a young man who’d walked in. Plainly dressed. Lean, somewhat muscular build. Slightly above average height. Caucasian. Unmasked. How brave.

He smiled. “Thank you. My name’s Darius. What’s yours?”

Frowning, Lumina sat back. She’d said nothing, not that she could, and had kept her face neutral ever since being captured. As she’d been trained to. And yet… He’d said ‘thank you?’ For what?

Darius sat in front of her, arms crossed as he also leaned back in his chair. And said nothing. Just stared at her. His expression was relatively neutral, though no doubt more relaxed than her own.

“Why did you join the Company?”

Was this really the best they could do? Take away her voice, then send some underling to question her as if asking a get-to-know-you questionnaire? Seriously?

She kept her breathing even. Her body did not tense. There was no flinch.

But Darius tilted his head as if she had done something.

What was he seeing?

He leaned forward, folding his hands on top of the table. Right in front of her cuffed ones. “Why,” he asked, looking directly into her eyes. “do they call you the Vindicator?”

The temptation to roll her eyes and look away was strong, but she held back. Barely.

As if they didn’t know. Or that she’d tell them anything. What were they thinking?

He leaned back, sighing. “We’d like to give you an opportunity. A second chance, if you will.”

She still couldn’t say anything, if he expected an answer. Stupid voice suppression collar.

His lips quirked, as if laughing at her. “Sorry, we have to take the precaution, you understand.” He ran his fingers through his soft brown hair, sighing. “You only need to nod or shake your head. Basically, from here, we can only give you two options. Rehabilitation or jail.”

That didn’t surprise her. These vigilantes liked to think themselves heroes. Why not offer her a chance at “redemption?” As if she needed redeeming. As if she’d done something wrong.

As if they and their kind hadn’t been the ones to hurt her in the first place.

His brown eyes fixed on hers again. It made her uneasy. It was like he was staring into her soul.

“If you choose rehabilitation,” he said, voice soft. “You can reunite with your mother and sister. And anyone else who no doubt are missing you as much as you miss them.”

Her breath caught and stuttered before she could level it again. How did they know about them? How did they- No, she needed to stay calm.

“Or,” he continued. “You can go to jail. Disappear into the system. Never see or contact them again. No second chances.”

‘Because the Company will find and eliminate you before you get another one.’ remained unspoken between them.

She stared him down. This was a shit choice. He had to know that, at least.

His eyes were as soft as his voice. “Believe it or not, we are trying to help you. So, will you take it? Accept our offer?”

Without wanting to, she nodded.

What else could she do?

Fish Out of Water Taglist:

@melpomenelamusa, @elle297382, @iamheretohurt,

May posts on scheduled queue, including times when I'll be asleep or at work, so keep an eye out if you request to be on the taglist but not edited into the scheduled posts yet

I have medical bills coming up. If you like my stuff and/or want to help me out, here's my ko-fi. Any help is appreciated. Bonus, you'd see my future book content, too!

[eliotlime]

End of October Update

There's got to be a less clunky way for me to title these things but maybe I'll figure it out after a few posts.

Anyway at the top of the order I want to say that uh... the Abacelsus zine is not happening by halloween unforch.. I just started school part-time and it being part-time is still kicking my ass! So tentative release date will be on 11th November unless something else happens....

On the plus side I'm done with the cover so all that's left is the back page and cramming all 24 pages full of drawings 👍

-> As I've said at the end of my previous post I want to make more blog style posts so here's me trying to do that, more under the cut

🔐Abacelsus Zine

I'm still deciding on whether i want to print it A5 or B5 but I'm leaning towards A5, though for the digital release it doesn't really matter lol

As mentioned, I'm done with the main cover so I just need to fill this entire thing with stuff, I said 24 pages but really the total page count is 30. I'm just not counting the cover and the blurb stuff.

I'm half taking a break with this at the risk of burning myself out and half paralysed with starting it. Plus I've kind of been more into Axl & I-no hilariously but I'll always love A.B.A. I think the lack of any real info really lends her well to interpretation which is always fun.

I've never really been one to engage in fandom so I'm probably going to be doing my own thing. That being said if anyone has any suggestions feel free to drop them in my strawpage or ask box :)

🥤 Strawpage & General Socials

The bugs make my pages so decorative, I gotta draw more bugstyle guys.

Speaking of strawpage, I made one of those! It was really fun, I have a short OC info tab with descriptions of some of my main guys. I'd love for you to check it out.

This kind of acts as my ask box for twitter since there's not one there and apparently it's basically my main social media site these days so I'm just mirroring my experience here over there too.

Hilarious timing considering that it's basically collapsing on itself once again, I'll probably still be on that damn site until it implodes but I also have a Bluesky account for those that care about it.

The sky follower bridge extension is really useful for bulk following people from twitter to bsky

I'd love to post there more but there's not a queue function and that's very important to me as someone who is not American and lazy to remember optimal timings.

Did you see? I also have a new pinned for this blog! Wanted to make a new one for a while now, always thought the old one was so freaking long. All the old info is still on my about and faq page though I don't know who actually looks at those.. a relic from years past..

☹ School

Sigh, like I mentioned earlier I'm doing school again! At my big age, but I'm having fun so far! It's part-time but it's still kicking my fucking ass! It's the main reason why I'm a little disoriented this month honestly.

Do you like it? I spent an entire Sunday making my class miro board look niceys and then proceeded to get nauseous from cybersickness afterwards LOL

I'm doing a UI/UX course and I have to say the funnest part about it is making personas, it's like making OCs. Don't particularly like writing though.. but also that's a lie considering the numerous amount of paragraphs in this blog post alone haha

🎁 Merch

I've also gotten confirmation that I'll be boothing again next year in Febuary! So I gotta start locking into making more stickers and general merch. I say this a lot but I do need to look into opening an online store because I just have tonnes of stickers and stuff lying around waiting till the next time I do a convention which is kind of a shame.

Oh, but I will say that if you are from Singapore and would like anything from my previous convention catalogue feel free to shoot me a DM on instagram and I can mail it to you locally, shipping's $2 SGD.

➰Closing Thoughts

All in all, been kind of busy this month with school and various loose threads from September but overall I think I'm doing better! I've also been cooking lately and truthfully that's my biggest achievement this month haha, been also getting really into canned fish. Yummy!

Oh and a last thing is that I've been itching to animate again so I'll end this post with a WIP of a gif I did last night/morning. I almost always never finish my animations but here's hoping this one actually makes it to the colouring stage haha

No prizes to anyone who can guess who these two because of course.

Thank you for reading! I know I can't expect everything to be done in a single month but I just wish I could do everything without getting tired or cybersick! If you'd like to support me, here's my ko-fi page and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

[lonely-coconut]

Blinkie.World progress update!

(Tldr at the end)

Heyo, I’m here with an update on how my site is going! For one, I made a change as to how I’m adding the blinkies. I had this old minimalist style, then I made a new dropdown menu style for multiple links and stuff. I said before that this won’t be ready on day one. I was going to just focus on getting 300 of each color before release, but I realized that’ll be less efficient overall. That’s because I was adding blinkies in the minimalist style now, and then I was going to go back and redo them all with the new drop-down style later. Problem is, I’m adding blinkies in the old style when I could just code them into the new style right now! What’s the point in coding them this way if I’m just gonna go back and redo it later? But if I made new blinkies have the new style, but the old ones still with the old, then only some will have lots of information/links and it’ll be confusing to navigate. So, I figured instead of adding a bunch of new blinkies in the old style (just giving myself more work for the future) I’m going back and making all of them into the new style now! Of course this is time consuming, but it’s more efficient in the grander scheme of things.

Also, since I’m doing that, I’m not coding in any new blinkies for now so I can keep focused on making sure the ones I have are ready to go. I’m still downloading them to my computer though. Gotta take dibs before they vanish lol

That is to say, it’s very likely that it won’t be ready by July 1st. I just want to say that now so you guys don’t get too excited about a release date that probably isn’t going to happen. I do still want to get it up as soon as possible, because I’m really excited about it, but this is a whole thing. I mean, this has been a whole thing since the get-go. What I’m trying to say is, I’m only a lad, and I can’t burn my self out on something that’s supposed to be fun. (I don’t mean that it’s becoming unfun for me right now, btw. It’s not. I’m just saying I want to make sure it stays something that’s fun and not become like some kind of job or responsibility. Prevention is the best medicine, after all.) So anyway, I might not complete it by July, and I’m not gonna start tweaking in order to force that to happen. Art fight is about to happen as well, which is both a good incentive to want to share blinkies, and a huge distraction from doing so. Ugh, ref sheets…

Another thing is my plan for site updates when it's launched! It'll go up with the blinkies that are coded in now, and I'll keep adding them for the foreseeable future! Aside from the ones on my site, I have thousands in my queue, and tons of bookmarks for even more to download! I’ll be able to add new ones consistently for a long time. I’m thinking I will make a site update page, showcasing the new blinkies as they're added once a week! I used to add 10 blinkies every day, and it wasn’t even that hard. I have no doubt I could code in at least one new blinkie every week!

Last thing I’ll mention is that if any of you were wanting to visit the site specifically for art fight, you’re always welcome to ask me for any of the ones in the screenshots! I literally have them all downloaded with their credit links. Getting them takes two seconds, so don’t feel bad about it if you really want one! I promise you it’s no inconvenience at all. I'm posting new screenshots after this post, so you'll be able to see every blinkie that's currently there! It both has more since last time, and I'm also showing color pages that I didn't before.

TLDR:

One- I used to code blinkies one way, but I figured out a better way to do it, so I am going back and changing all of them to the new style. Doing this slows down progress right now, but saves time in the long run.

Two- My site most likely won't be done by July 1st as I predicted, because it'll be impossible to make that deadline without putting an unhealthy amount of pressure on myself.

Three- Every week on the site I will add new blinkies.

Four- Reminder that asking for a blinkie from one of my screenshots is completely fine and very easy to fetch on my end.

Posting screenshots next!

[f4t4-m0rg4n4]

Fair Winds and Following Seas

Alright, so there's not actually much I can really say for obvious reasons. But basically, I've been called off to the wet and I'm not going to have access to any form of internet for a couple months or so. Still, figured I should get out some sort of alert.

I'll be disappearing Monday, just getting this out now for any mutuals want my discord to bug me with. The queue will run until it's empty, so if it looks like I'm active it's actually a mercat behind the screen occasionally batting the "post" button. It also probably posted this message. Give it salmon.

IRLs, you know how to reach me. Everyone else, feel free to spam my asks and DMs, I'd love to go through them when I get back.

@vrillopurpura, @prince--esque, @drifterslittlemuffin, @dredgen-dumbass, @spaydekingcayde, I absolutely loved bouncing ideas off you guys. Looking forward to doing that again when I get back.

@watchers-cafe and @utahraptorfun, not much to say that I haven't already said in person. Love you guys, you're cool, you're on the "bother first" list. I'll keep y'all updated.

@gerda-3 and @crow-posting, looking forward to starting stuff back up. I'll try and remember to drop something in your inbox, and if you see me before I remember you're welcome to poke me with a harpoon. Crow, please send me a DM with the last RP post on Sunday. I will lose the thread.

Anyways, that's about it I think? Like I said, spam my inbox, spam my DMs, I'm not joking when I say that I'd appreciate it. Spam me on Discord if you have it (for mutuals only: if you ask I'll give it to you).

See you all around, and as I said in the title: Fair winds and following seas.

[flamesignite]

//While yes I will be moving to discord rp a lot more than here, it doesn't mean I'll be completely gone. I'll still be online sometimes to write with people and probably do threads too, but its not going to be constant. Somedays I will just be on to do drafts and queue them. Sometimes I'll be around just for dash shenanigan's.

This site isn't going to be my main time like it has been. I am going to try to get out of the house more and exist. This site has been too much somedays and I really having been rotting in this room way too much lately and I just need to live my life.

While yes I do enjoy the dash commentary. I need to think of my mental health first, so there will be somedays I just don't wanna be here or will need to force myself to walk away from it for a while.

I can be on discord easier when I am out and about though. (yes tumblr is mobile but its not as functional as being on the laptop is. I can really only reply to drafts but not edit the post till I am online.) I can send asks mostly on mobile though and I would do that if I felt like it.

With discord I don't gotta worry about editing posts and just find that so much more efficient. Also having one on one interaction without people watching everything you write is much more personal and fun too. Sometimes I get self conscience writing for people to see. Especially with writing smut. T_T)

I am flattered there are people that enjoy reading my stuff, thank you for understanding. I do plan to be here just not as active as I used to be like I said. I will also be posting drabbles and one shots more often here. I do plan to continue to write with the current mains I've been writing with here too.

Maybe some people I haven't wrote with too of course. I am still writing with people I said I was still writing with. None of that is changing. I am just trying to limit my time here instead of being here constantly because this site is rotting my brain way too much.

Thank you for all being here and writing with me or just reading my stuff. It does mean a lot you have no idea.

[victoriousfidelity]

hello beloveds 🧡 i'm here for a little while (albeit with very spotty wifi) while i'm on this train, and i just wanted to get an update up before i get back to actually writing. i've been very unwell (both mentally and physically) while i've not been posting here. honestly, i'm still doing fairly terribly - but plans made while i was doing better loom on the imminent horizon, so i'm trying to be a functioning person. that includes being back here, although probably in a slightly different capacity to how i've done things previously. i don't have time to update my carrd at the moment, so please take this post as a temporary stand-in when it comes to my updated rules! following: i've gone through and softblocked any archived blogs / blogs that have been inactive for more than a year, along with unfollowing any non-mutuals. you are always welcome to refollow me if you become active again, this is purely a housekeeping thing. threads: i've updated my thread tracker! you can search your username and check the status of any of our threads. i'm slow, but i don't drop things unless you're inactive for a lengthy stretch of time. on that note: i've put any threads which haven't moved in over a year (or which were with blogs i'm no longer following because of the above) onto a separate tab on that sheet - the 'archived ic' tab. if you want to carry anything on which has been moved there, please do! i'll just move it back to the 'ongoing' tab. again, that's primarily a housekeeping thing as my tracker was getting somewhat unwieldy. sideblogs: the sideblogs to this blog - @ofvanaheim, @harmbidder, @tempusetveritas, and @hverfamodir - are all tied to this blog's canon. you need to be mutuals with me here to interact with them. plotting is preferred, particularly if we've not interacted much across my blogs yet. ooc messages: going forwards, i would prefer not to engage heavily over tumblr ims. i'm crap at them, we all know this, i always have been. but especially at the moment when my social battery is pretty much permanently at -50%, i find that little notification of how many unread messages i have on here incredibly stressful. i'd like to stress: this is a me issue. with that said, please add me on discord. i'm lovehurried on there, and while i'm often offline at the moment i find it infinitely easier to regulate what notifications i see / catch up on things when i am up to socialising. either way, please don't expect fast responses from me anywhere right now. it's nothing personal, i'm just trying to pace myself. activity: i'll be around a little this weekend, and then my blogs will be running on a queue while i'm on holiday next week. after i get back, it'll probably be a mix of queued stuff and sporadic straight-to-dash stuff. miscellaneous stuff: do not involve me in drama; i am in my 30s and more than capable of assessing whether someone's behaviour on here warrants me blocking them or not. anon is temporarily off across my blogs; the amount of spam messages coming through was truly insane. tag your content; you are entitled to write whatever you want on your blog, but i'm also entitled to curate my space on here and if people don't start tagging their smut / violent content etc i will be unfollowing them. there we go. right, the wifi on this train is terrible so i'm probably going to lurk on mobile for the rest of it. if i'm not around later tonight then i will be around to get some writing done tomorrow! thank you all for being so patient, understanding, and generally lovely; i know i've been awful at replying to your kind messages while i've been mostly in hiding, but i do see them and i appreciate you so much 🧡