#like he has limits ofc
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something insane to consider is that astarion is so set in his ways but so easily malleable?? guy who doesnât know what having a friend or a partner is like meaning whoever he ends up with teaches him what love is and that is such a lovely concept but also extremely horrifying to consider
#ooc.#like he has limits ofc#And he is old we forget how about Lf he is#He has his moments but the fact that he can be so easily turned into something for love is SCARY !
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the big blues
closer-up(s), a.k.a. from the sea; of the sky
#brought to you by my boundless early kon & the ocean feels#he was so vastly much more alone than a little guy who only just started existing should've been. oooaaauuggghh!!!#and by âaloneâ i don't mean literally alone ofc. but he was largely surrounded by people exploiting him rather than protecting him. so...#anways! ocean baby kon i will never ever tire of writing/drawing you#obligatory âi'm only just learning to draw this is like my fourth drawing ever so pls be nice to me ahhhhâ#i am Unwilling To Admit how much time i spent on just this#but he inspires me to a) learn and b) finally put my musings/ (limited but not zero) knowledge on visual symbolism and comoposition to use!#bc i used to do photography way more (i'm not tim coded i'm not i'm not) and even just the composition change between original and closeups#and how much it changes the meaning was very enjoyable#oh also last thing â if anyone's curiousâ he has long hair because he likes it that way. i asked. it's a key part of his gnc swag he said#sae originals#sae does art#kon#kon el#superboy#superboy 1994#conner kent#kon el superboy#dc#dc comics#i always feel like an attention fiend adding lots of tags but. look at my artâ tumblings
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REDEEM CODES
GI56Paralogism
ChefEscoffier0507
IfaCacucu0507
BANNERS
phase one : escoffier + navia (5*s) + ifa (4*)
phase two : kinich + raiden shogun (5*s)
inazuma chronicled banner
QUESTS
new archon interlude chapter: act iv
escoffier story quest
EVENTS
whirling waltz
chronicle of shifting stratagems
operation downpour simulation
legends ablaze: cross-border brawl
leyline overflow
ENEMIES
new overworld boss
new weekly boss
MISC
new tcg cards
new card skin
automatic artistry
optimisations
offline/irl collab event with charlotte tilbury
new natlan ost album
song of the welkin moon -> april 30
DAHLIA REVEAL WAHOOO???
AND VARKA MENTION LETSGHO WE GOT HIS VOICE WE ARE GOING TO SEE HIM SOOON AORJKDFS
UR TELLING ME VARKA KNOWS VENTI IS BARBATOS???????
#just genshin <3#THROWING UPFPD#ALBEDO VENTI NEUVIE WRIO AND VARKA IN ONE PATCH WHAT IF DIED#AND OFC AYATO BANNER HELLO HI THIS IS THE PATCH SOPHIE FINALLY BECOMES AN AYATO HAVER#HE HAS PLAYED HARD TO GET FOR THREE YEARS THAT IS ENOUGH HAHAHHHAHA IM STILL CHASING AFTER U HAHAHAHAHHAH#anyway guys i am so so excited like my genshin slump has actually vanished#AND OFC ALBEDO IN AN ARCHON QUEST NOT A TIME LIMITED EVENT WE ARE SO WINNING#also wdym neuvie got stabbed............ wdym................................#AND OFC DILUC AND KAEYA FIGHTING SIDE BY SIDE WHAT IF I CRIED#AND DAHLIA TOO#AND HEXENZIREL#OAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
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In the era of cancellations, limited series are a way to go. One season, so nothing to cancel, unless it doesn't get made.
Of course, this is not possible if you want to adapt a book series, but then, it's good for standalone books.
#tv shows#adaptations#limited series#mini series#cancellations#honestly i think i like limited series best#more time than a film (if the story needs it ofc)#and everything can wrap up in 1 season so no stress about what next#harlan coben got it right#i think taylor jenkins reid should get herself a similar deal to what he has with netflix#not that i particularly care i'm not reading any more of her books but i think she should do it#audience already exists she has a fanbase#mypost
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FINALLY DONE WITH THE ISAT OC! SOLEIL!!!
The creature... So first things first is some info about them pre- disappearance of The Country. They're a loyal follower and avid worshipper of The Country. They love the Universe sooo much that they made a wish to be able to read the stars, and the Universe answered. I like to think that the stars are talkative, some can predict what will happen in the near future, some are just "chatting" to each other about the stuff happening in the world they overlook. It's a somewhat useful ability that Soleil used to use to be able to either predict someone's future (rarely though, the stars hold many different futures and it's hard to figure out which is whose) or use it during funeral rites to have a more reassuring experience to the ones mourning that their loved one arrived safely among the stars.
And then they found out about The Cursing of Chateau Castle-- they kiiiinda got Really obsessed with the book series that they wanted to know more about it but there wasn't any more copies of it in the Country's language so what better way to deal with that but teaching itself how to understand the Vaugardian language, and by doing that they got to learn more about the Vaugardian culture and was really amazed by it (considering that they spent most of their life with the Country's culture instead, learning about a different culture is a great feeling). One thing led to the other and it also led Soleil to travelling to Vaugarde (something that their family wasn't all that happy with but they stay silly).
And so we're back at the present time! Now to talk about some details on its appearance.
Its Craft type is Scissors! The eye on the center of its chest and the eye by its nape are in fact EYES and not just accessories (although they did try to make the eye on its chest appear to be like a mix between a star shape and the Change Symbol).
After spending some time in Vaugarde, they learned about Body Craft in which case they decided to experiment with it in regards to its eyes.
Since being in Vaugarde, there wasn't much use to its star sight and there also isn't a way to "turn it off." So instead, they decided to separate its Normal sight from the Star sight by adding another pair of eyes on its body.
The eyes on its face are blind. They can't see through it anymore but they Can still see the stars (they can't read it anymore however cuz of the Country's disappearance).
If they focus on the stars using those eyes, they'd get a REALLY bad headache and a star sign appears on its eyes. Nothing to be afraid of probably, its head just Really hurts.
The glass covering the eye on its nape is a one way mirror. You won't be able to see the eye but the eye can still see you.
With its vision split, it actually took them awhile to get used to that. It takes a lot of concentration and focus to see both from behind and from the front. When Soleil gets tired from doing that, they either close the eye on its nape (if the place is safe enough) or unfocus it enough to the point that most of its vision becomes blurry with only being able to see blobs of shapes and shadows which helps them be alert enough in case something comes running at them from behind.
All the round objects you see on its body are Bombs. They found out about Bomb Craft in Jouvente and was so fascinated by it that their inventor brain (inventing, crafting, and repairing stuff is a special interest of theirs). They now like making bombs and inventing new ones (only they have the recipe of those).
The bombs they invented only detonates via a Craft spell, it's basically as safe as an ordinary ball to handle unless detonated. Also the scissors at the top of their head has a cover on its tip. It's Very Sharp. They mainly use that (either the tip or the scissor blades itself) to cut the bombs dangling on its body.
Despite the multitude of bombs they carry, they aren't actually much of a fighter (they just like bombs). Most of its Craft spells are basic/beginner level. The one and only Powerful Craft spell they have is a shield/defense spell that they practiced several times. It's capable of negating all damage for 2 turns with a 5 turn cooldown, they wanted to master that spell to make it so that bombs won't hurt them no matter the close proximity.
Its hand signs are "broken." They used to mimic the hand signs that the Universe (I'm mainly referring to my design of the Universe) makes. But after forgetting about everything in regards to it, they can't remember what hand signs they used to make but the familiar feeling was still there.
A huge fan of The Cursing of Chateau Castle, to the point of practically making it part of its identity now that a HUGE chunk of its memory is missing. Its outfit is a modified version of what they think Lady Irene-Janine-Karine wears.
Its personality is a mixture of Lord Josephandre, Pierre-Jacques-Erneste, and Lady Irene-Janine-Karine (aka the Chateau Trio!!! Love those three...).
Its name, "Soleil" is just something they found in a book and decided to use for itself. They don't remember its name anymore.
#ariart#ariaoc#isat oc#isat spoilers#theres some danger in the fact that sol took pierres personality too considering that pierre betrayed the party that one time--#honestly if i think about sol harder i begin to realize that theres A LOT of things wrong about them mentally#what forgetting a country with a belief system you were incredibly loyal to does to someone i think.#also making it so that sol was the npc that translated that one issue of the cursing of chateau castle from vaugardian#into the language of the Country. if you were to enter its home. youll be greeted by a LOT of bookcases and shelves and books#and therell be at least 4 of those dedicated to the cursing of chateau castle. original version and the ones they translated#there will ofc be sections where its about the Country tho. actually i think if siffrin visited its home he'll be able to know more#about the Country. if he became close friends enough to be able to enter the rooms with the books of it. sol couldnt read them#anymore but feels as though those books were important so they moved it elsewhere for safekeeping. making sure to maintain it too#also yea you can now see exactly how im pushing the isat worldbuilding to its limits via body craft#i like to think that if in case body craft operates in a similar manner to alchemy in that by Changing something theres an equal#exchange to be given. if its Changing your appearance to a new one then the equal value to be exchanged is the Old appearance#but if for example theres a missing body part. youd have to find Something else of equal value to replace it then#and by going off of that same principle. if a body part has two functions (like with sol's eyes having a special sight to it)#then by Changing its appearance. the equal value follows the same principle of the: exchange Old for New#except that in sol's case. with the addition of a body part that has two functions. technically speaking they can Separate the#two functions while still following the usual method. it's just that now theres another set of eyes on its body. still a New appearance tho
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Again not a dungeon meshi reader/watcher but every time I hear about that laois guy I get reminded of how my system had/has a hyperfixation on dragons so intense that we got that big fancy dragonology book and we treated it like the damn dragon Bible for like years
Now, obviously, we understand that there's different interpretations on mythical creatures, and no one interpretation on a dragon is necessarily gospel, but that multiple interpretations on the classic tale of beasts of scale and fire are completely valid and to be expected!
however if you call an Eastern dragon a coatl I'm going to come to your house and slaughter your family
#THEY'RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT#yes they have similarities but coatls have WINGS typically and dont usually have other limbs. they're more serpentine birds#meanwhile Eastern dragons (Chinese depictions for example) don't typically have wings and are more lizard-like#like Mushu !!!!!!!! Mushu is an Eastern dragon#and then there's drakes and wyrms. which are entirely different bc they can't really fly#drakes are more like draconic horses or dogs. no wings but four limbs and a tail with a reptilian appearance#wyrms are more serpentine with no limbs and no wings. though i think some interpretations of wyrms give them like.. two forelimbs#then there's wyverns. wyverns have two legs and two wings instead of the typical eight limbs (four limbs two wings)#(i also perosnally hold true to the interpretation of wyverns with poisonous stingers for tails but that's just me cause i think its cool)#..... how much of this is just me talking abiut dragons#explodes.#oh yeah and obv there's the HTTYD interpretations which i adore! they're interesting#the designs are so fascinating and from what ive seen seem to have some science behind them#and arent just the typical western style of dragons. which nothing wrong with the western style it's a classic ofc#but it's still fun to see some variation!!#and ofc there's WOF#which holds true to Western dragons in simple anatomy but has its own variations and of course its own lore#then there's. fuck i forget the name but it's a fantasy story based in China i believe#i loved it so much it was so cool#anyways it had a dragon character named Seryu. I love Seryu. he my favorite#anyways i liked the interpretation of dragons there bc iirc it held true to ummmmm some Chinese mythology involving dragons#cause Eastern mythology of drahons is . so much diffetent than Western#Western dragons are commonly very monstrous creaturesâ usually very animalistic#they tend to embody the Christian concept of greed/gluttony hence why they're so typically monstrous/villainous#which i find interesting but i wont get into that#meanwhile. i wanna say Eastern dragon legends more revolve around the idea of a dragon as more of a godly/fae-type creature?#that's probably a poor comparison but that's how i interpreted it. agian im probahly wronf about all of this#im some weirdo rambling about dragons on the internet. dont trust me explicitly#i need to get more dragon mythology books#HELP I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I DIDNT THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE GOOD LORD OKAY I'LL SHUT UP NOW
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sorry ive got more spideryapping to do i gotta get it out of my system
#ive been pondering. if theyll do daily bugle photo stuff in spiderman 4#cuz like. when the comics first came out it made sense that nobody would be able to get pics but him#snd ofc those pictures would be valuable#but bruh NOW???? pictures of spiderman have to be a dime a dozen right. how does that work#like w tobey maguire it still makes sense cuz phones dont have advanced cameras. and they set up his photography interest#and w andrew garfield its still Kinda plausible but not a big plot point. and they set up photography w him too#but i dont recall mcu spiderman EVER touching a camera#like he could suddenly learn to do it cuz that thats happened in adaptations before but like. i dont think it makes sense for the setting#or character. but especially the setting#also. theres always the wholr conflict of him having to work for someone thats constantly slandering him#but surely j cubed is way too linked to aunt may dying i feel like its too far this time đđđ#like idk. how else could he pay rent man presumably has no documents đ plus the classic sudden disappearances and flaking#like theres a reason hes always selling photos even still but i feel like it doesnt make sense now so wtf are they gonna do#if he magically just does still have a bank account and birth certificate and social security number ill be pissed#cuz why would his face be erased from a class photo but not a passport picture. how#ive thought abt this way too much they better not let any magic spell plot holes get thru cuz i WILL catch them#im watching u guys dont pmo i need to know the exact limitations and extent of that spell. i see a plot hole im gonna be mad#altho he was getting ged. what kind of documents do u need for that. did he forge them or did they survive#im just really focused on the bureaucratic details here those writers better know im gonna be paying ATTENTION#and for sure everyone else cares abt that as much as i do. u guys will tank at the box office if its not ironclad im tellin u#x
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kaiser is in such a terrible state of mind that even the other players are like girl đ
#bllk#bllk spoilers#bllk manga#//spoilers for the leaks in tags#this is genuinely so interesting to me idk but something abt seeing kaiser so mentally anguished and frustrated that he MISSES AN OPEN SHOT#like this is not a question of his skill no that mf can absolutely make that shot with focus and enough practice#but hes too blindsided by his own frustration and desperation that he fucks himself over#its not even abt isagi anymore i swear this man is having a war with his own ideals bc according to him hes supposed to BEAT THE IMPOSSIBLE#ofc hed shoot for a shot that he has never pulled off before. bc this entire thing is abt him pushing his limitations#but ofc that didnt work and now kaiser is near damn losing his mind#i wonder whats going through noa's head bc yeah kaiser is the most skilled player on the team by far#but whats the point on keeping him on the field if hes too emotionally high to focus or even think logically#like...
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one of those greg lives at the plex post sb aus but not because the glamrocks adopted him. he just keeps sneaking in they cant keep him out but its ok bc they like him <3
#fnaf#security breach#fnaf gregory#staff know about him but only as just like. mysterious kid whos there almost every day every hour#plex probably has some sort of meals pass he stole#and ofc he has access to all the securityâŚ#he definitely steals merch to sell outside the plex btw. esp with old limited edition items#or new merch that isnt released yet#profit đ#freddy doesnt approve. freddy doesnt know#this is all a bit nonsense i just love my little guys#i will talk about them more trust trust
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hot take but while i get joost being upset about people posting his old stuff and bothering him, it's not like he is the first or last that this is happening to. i know that with kpop and the world post-covid things have gotten worse fandom-wise, but there have always been groupies and weirdos. him just saying "please stop" will definitely not make them stop. the people who are decent feel guilty but the people who aren't will just keep doing their thing. imo the only thing he can do is limit his social media consumption and stop being so personal in his live shows. i know he probably says it with his heart, but saying stuff like "i love you" and being extremely personal doesn't help. i've been noticing his behaviours in lives and treating them like some sort of alternative therapy isn't the solution. random strangers won't start being kinder to him just because he said so and he shouldn't expect this to happen either.
#joost#i've been having these thoughts for months and well here they are#like i do like the guy and since ive been mentally in the same place as him#not that i was famous lol just my mental illness#this overexposure is just harmful and he will regret things#many of his past videos and somgs are from questionable to problematic but they are there now forever there's nothing he can do#and even if he does big attempts to scrub his past from the internet it will just create a streisant effect#the only thing that is extremely shitty and i agree with him is his family idek how ppl managed to find them#even though that stuff could be found on ig which i dont have#but unfortunately stans are like that#like bjork had a bomb being sent to her house#others have been murdered or had murder attempts on them#you can't control stan behaviour but you can control how you act to limit them#as much as possible ofc#im afraid that him being overworked and having all that attention will lead to some mental breakdown and i dont want that to happen#i want the best for him and the best he can do is take a break#i get he wants to capitalise on his current fame but he has overbooked himself#i truly hope for the best and that he can turn off his socials for a bit
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No normal way to say you want someone to scroll through the pinterest boards you put your blood sweat and tears into making for your own characters. Like I need you to understand my love for this little guy. What do you mean a picture of a tree doesn't convey his thoughts and ambitions. It does to me
#Keeping up motivation for my passion project because I KNOW tumblr will eat that shit up when I can get it published#But like they mean sm to me how do 8 convey that to others#ranting about my work rq ->#yall will eat it up.#it's queer. It's themey as fuck. It's insane#The main characters receive the powers of gods and have to deal with the corresponding ramifications#the main character is the kind of girl who has definitely lived on tumblr. She's mean she's feminine. Maybe a tad insane. Loves fiercely th#The main love interest is a pathetic wet cat of a man who talks with Death himself regularly#The best friend is a catholic guilt-centered sun-coded man of color who is openly bisexual and effeminate and has insane ADHD#There are so many religious themes#I love religious parallels ngl#like Death is referred to only as He or Him and the catholic character can turn into a snake#I hope to explore the separations between human/animals and human/divinity and how they define and limit humanity as a concept#through 4 dumbass teenagers ofc#Anyways hmu if you wanna hear more or wanna be on the look out when I finally finish the books I will always yap abt them#sk#ocs#my ocs#chaotic is thinking again
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franklin armstrong walked for 56 years and is only just now getting his flowers. 56 years. the fact that y'all would sooner let the same thing happen to duke thomas than respect the characterization he's already been given is sick. It's laid out in ink and color for all to see and you still avert your eyes. that you would demote him to straightman for the sake of white comfort is shameful. franklin armstrong walked for 56 years, and you would have duke do the same?
#tomi.txt#dc comics#duke thomas#this goes beyond duke thomas ofc im just being specific.#being nice isn't enough. it never has been and i feel like everyday i'm screaming to make people understand that!!#franklin was as nice as nice can be and yt people still sent in letters saying they didn't want him at the same school as peppermint patty#if you truly believe in representation then understand that it's more than just being seen. it's about being heard too!!#franklin was a wonderful start but he was never the end goal he was never where the fight was supposed to end.#the fight for representation is an uphill battle and if you insist on limiting diversity in the efforts to make characters palatable to all#then you are not on the side of history that you think you're on.
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being alive at the time i gleaned some general elements abt encanto but never actually heard we don't talk about bruno beyond awareness it existed popping off & i think i heard like the title recited off key off rhythm but in a way that indicates speak singing nonetheless lol so upon experiencing it it's like oh but it's the Verses? while the last refrain goes harder but prior to that it's comparatively underwhelming to said verses which feels appropriate like verses / pieces of a larger picture & that a "we don't talk about him" as a disappointing Lid on infinitely richer more characterful & dynamic "but: talking about him" instances. like well personally it'd be like um seven foot frame....anyway besides being able to firsthand go like oh damn Real (the kind of thing you know exists if alive at the time) it's like alright hang on lol. one thing when a core theme is yeah like "is it a refuge if 'especial' vulnerability ultimately gets pushed out rather than made safer" subset like the parties whose even observation of truths (problems) & drawing attention to them is seen as Ruining Things, like if you're painted as Making futures that aren't simply what's desired or reassuring rather than a guidance via just observing & sharing the truth. but then it's like whaddaya mean living in fear of bruno stuttering and stumbling you could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling lmao like now that's just Association between the Truth Perceiving & Telling behavior & behavior that's just apparently distinctive of the same person. & like Not Accidentally when [what if people were magic] specifics are obviously primarily abt a metaphorical meaning & like, indeed it was made clear like oh this situation isn't Just b/c [boo we hate your prophecies] & that [an Ability that isn't directed towards what anyone Wants / is "weird" even by these magic standards] isn't Coincidentally given to someone who just so happens to already be "weird" in other ways & be set up to have a different perspective & be pushed away due to having the supposed "extra" vulnerability of unmet needs / insufficient support, same as someone who doesn't "correctly" have any kind of magic ability....like yeah banger and also like Oh Yeah Kind Of Devastating re: that metaphorical resonance allowing for like [set the metaphor aside] now hang on with this about this disabled family member lol. misinterpretation to The Ruinerrr / The Problemmm / The Maliciousss etc (i.e. the scapegoatinggg) despite their efforts likely entirely to the contrary. then despite like, efforts aside, Just Existing, always kind of muttering & mumbling like & what of it. & then like oh sorry weird pets. weird [auspicious for adaptable tenacious thriving surviving; either way simply creatures, existing] pets.
truly like As Is The Idea I'm Sure quickly becomes like hands behind back standing at the window Uh Oh Sisters musing on all the [disabled person] metaphorical & already literal elements there. blair witching it in contemplation like We've All Been There whether being so resented for the mere disruption of "existing in a group as the 'abnormal' odd one out" or like people talking shit abt anything associated w/you as soon as you've left the room, which is also made relevant like, this wasn't Only directed at this person when seemingly permanently gone, nor were they unaware / unaffected prior....pacing in the Musing parlor like things don't Have to be compared to billions but i only ever even see so many things & it's like billions sure is like "get scapegoated rword" & then said scapegoating is presented as only beneficial & we hate autists & even beyond that it's like, grabbing billions, Imagine If Things Meant To Be About Something Were About Something. quite a contrast when they are & furthermore like, deliberate thought & Care for [who gets scapegoated & why] & the truth of like, people getting pushed aside & out who have a key perspective & are primed / liable to come through for others similarly vulnerable & the supposedly Ruinous, Problems Generating disruptiveness is actually the strongest effort to make essential changes to a group. & come through with like, it'd be undermining thee point if it was "reassuring" us like oh haha people will be supportive b/c bruno will be more normal, so great that it Didn't like no, no Normality Reassurance(tm), presence of abnormalities(tm), Good, & everyone Can Deal b/c if you don't then it's pushing this person away, is exactly what happens, including even if they're still Around but are being mistreated b/c that is entirely part of that pushing away like anyone's victim blaming is ready to pounce at any time but if someone can't stand to stay / leaves b/c they can't see another option like that's not out of nowhere nor Regardless of what full support & flexibility they were getting lol. these Active Measures everyone loves so much, which are everywhere always & would include Staying & Trying To Make It Work & those efforts would be "disruptive" & resented & Bringing It On Oneself & etccc smh
that is to all say like. Woww when clearly basically the core thread was these beats of like, the crucial site of [thee scapegoated], & why that comes down on someone & how that plays out. endless ideas about how someone weird(tm) & disabled (&/or queer. but there's no Or here lol. & again like it's a Context like, to even be the one person without kids? likely not living up to "full" correct sexuality in that way alone; any oppression's logics of "inferiority" being logics of ableism, ready examples being that "inferior" race, gender, sexuality (& their experiences as people classed as inferior) all being pathologized as disordered) are seen & treated as someone Ruining Things & who cannot belong like whew. bracing. winding. which, i also recall like i was watching with headphones & during this one dialogue pause i was like "?? what's this Extra Sound i heard there" & had to go over it like twice before being hit upside the head like well it Was still the dialogue pause but it was also bruno Stuttering in a very quiet whisper for the duration of that pause before continuing like iiiiiiii x_x
#[sitting waiting right here] for billions to have its vulnerable weird scapegoated misfit outcasts actually band together lmao....#like Sure Doesn't b/c billions is like we all hate weirdos & we all love telling them to shut tf up & go away to die or w/e. correctly#can't believe ultimately the Different fund disappears w/o its scapegoat & the Correct ''weird'' char is full axe cap mode finally#& it's sure not a Comment when billions affectionately gives them their free heavenly reward & Ensure zero scapegoating consequences#the [imagine if something about something was about something] approach to Banished Relatives being thoughtful & loving like#& here you see how even As they're banished everything isn't Really fixed for it incl. that people aren't Really just happy he's gone#billions is like no we killed him And everyone has gladly & legitimately forgotten he exists (save the instant it's time to use him)#the hilarious(tm) tragedies surrounding rian like billions' can't make her ''care'' abt winston be anything save more violence#can't pretend rian was anything more than [again we all Know your nads like w/taylor like w/winston] bagina + dialogue source combo in s6#when it's still dimly relevant for prince in s7 but you miss Nothing re: rian if you have no idea that plotline exists#& speaking of actual ''weirdness'' rian was never allowed to have: the tragedy of the tension of Closeted Transness present on screen fr#just as billions has no idea / further willingness to let rian be so ''weird'' as to actually care abt winston or abt not being a bully Lol#meanwhile i figured like oh i'll like a scapegoat. did know ahead of time like bruno's just some guy; not even ''redeemable'' antagonist#but In Practice & w/all that beloved Disabledness & crucial appreciation like you Need this guy; the understanding is Key#like well ofc i would kill for him. ofc just constant like mhm go off king slay fire etc. god tier character cherished forever thanks#but then also like im sure a zillion [intention; inspiration; thoughts] going into Tfw Family Things characters; a zillion interpretions &#thoughts to follow like it truly is Arresting like this clarity on A Disabled Person In The Group like. much much to consider & whew.#reference point like when autistic ppl in some job see an obvious [problem to future mess] pipeline; so you know bruno madrigal. My Vision#When You're So Hated like hey i wanna live unseen w/my so hated little friends lol. just reread how to disappear completely never be found#when it's like grabbing people Who Cares if someone's being ''obviously'' disabled or weird just as how they are existing godddd#people get so mean like Who Cares just talk to them; be around them. some effort some mind your own business some You're Not Above Them#when it's obviously You like yeah. nonzero but limited applicability like [specifically my own nuclear family] but re: Weird; Disabled#as ever i'll Relate & be like but i probably seem nothing like that. or maybe i am very much like that. kind of difficult to tell b/c like#you Do get the disinterest lol & feedback is Not that familiar / in depth even if positive like well. the emergent So Hated / Scapegoating#noting like if a character just seems refreshingly familiar; Understood; comfortable; fun; what's the odds they're cishet allistic lol....#anyway the epiphany like oh it was figurative blink & you miss it stuttering....did [waiiit] Pace that one off like inhaaale Waugh#in fact i'm sure the Verbalizing Effort has staved off the kind of [thinks about all of it a moment] to go Aauughhh about again#which; again; also something happening 5 yrs in re: the clairvoyant soothsayer autistic neuroqueer quant on the show w/No Thoughts abt it#ppl being invalidated by others having to validate themselves (& others in the same boat); billions going & How We Hate Them For It lol#oh & encanto's [excluded party's effort to partake] tragedy vs billions' [where's winston in this office? this event?] good riddance idc
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Thinkin about the ways the ghoul shows his humanity even if in very ghoulish/wasteland-y ways
#.ooc ( dani is an asshole )#like he has his limits/his lines he wonât cross#and to the average person and especially to good people (like Lucy obvs)#these things donât look like humanity#mercy killing Roger w/o the knowledge thatâs what heâs doing doesnât LOOK like a humane act#but it is. in the wasteland it is#not harming tommyâs little sister doesnât seem like some massive line in the sand#that seems like just an absolutely bare minimum#but in the wasteland it isnât#waiting until drawn on/fired on first by all the randos in filly doesnât seem like any kind of line#isnât even a thing anyone probably notices#but in the wasteland itâs something#heâs waiting to follow their lead#if he can get wilzig w/o killing them he will but they want their 1000 caps so ofc they fire on him#so he takes them out#but thereâs a whole 30 second or more where he waits for them to act first before he does anything#thatâs his line. thatâs his sliver of wasteland-y humanity#itâs not much but itâs there#ANYWAY
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Context for the breakdown (this time) is that I'm at my fucking limit with people asking me to do things and have this idea that only I can fix it. Like between mom, my shithead coworker (even when he's not asking ME it still triggers that anger), and my fucking cat of all things, it just feels Neverending. I think the main issue is that my dad used up all my fucking patience growing up bc this man would not do shit for or by himself and just being asked so many times this week to just fix everyone's problems pushed me over the edge
I half jokingly told mom that I'd probably be the type of mom who just leaves their family in the middle of the night and never comes back. Like as horrible as that fucking sounds, I really don't think id be able to handle people relying on me to do everything for them. Like ffs try to do it yourself first! And it's like a fucking 1 year old đ
But for real I think dad just using weaponized incompetence and just being so self centered really used up all my patience for this shit and I just hit my limit
#marquilla#legitimately started sobbing bc mom somehow broke the router and phone line and ofc I had to fix it and idk how and she just kept asking me#when she was on the phone what the lady said like idk!! i can't fucking hear her either! stop asking!!! and when she went in the other room#i just started fucking crying. like stop asking me to do things!!! idk!! try to do it yourself!! and like just everyone acting like im their#fucking mother and that they can't fucking TRY just broke me#like can you fuckers just leave me alone??? stop asking me to do it for you?!??! stop being so helpless when i know you are not!#my cat is very demanding and will fucking huff at you if she's mad at you and it's like YOU can fucking walk 3 ft to get your food bowl i a#m not bringing it to you. YOU can use YOUR litterbox that I just fucking cleaned without fussing (she doesn't like getting in and out the#box but also hates all alternatives to it) which is what i mean by shes also pissing me off#i think the biggest one pissing me off is my coworker bc he CONSTANTLY LIKE EVERY DAY asks RC for SOMETHING#like motherfucker do jt yourself!! go away!! figure it out or sink bitch! idc!!! just fucking try!!!#and like im at my limit where it feels like someone who genuinely needs the help feels the same as someone weaponizing incompetence#and i KNOW the difference but emotionally my brain treats them the same and it makes me so ANGRY#Anyway we also need the tech to come out tomorrow to fix the wifi and phone and i do not wanna clean the house for that and it just feels#like don't fucking ask please. mom thankfully understands and she was like 'i wasnt gonna ask you anyway. if you want to help i appreciate#it but you don't HAVE to' and i feel so fucking bad bc im trying not to be so fucking mean but my god im so tightly wound up im gonna pop#also the crabs waking me up an hour before my alarm has been driving me insane like i wanted to throw something at 2am today#like LET. ME. SLEEP!!!! and i know they aren't capable of doing it on purpose bc they dont have the capacity to do so but still#at my limit. i might have to take a mental health day this week bc jfc im gonna run my coworker over i stg (obviously im not serious but AGH
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do u think fyodor is a ceiling lamp, floor lamp, desk lamp, candles or computer screen light only (even when he's not engrossed in work) type of guy?
I think it depends on the room setup. Because if he has all those monitors in his space like in the anime I think he leaves them on constantly and it is a bright enough glow he rarely considers turning on another kind of light. In another space without that I see him using desk or table lamps, or a floor lamp if he doesn't have those right there. I feel like he rarely touches overheard lights just out of habit. Like when the transition from candles to oil lamps happened it was similar to him. But electricity was a lamp situation for him where he directly was, even when he had more options than that in his spaces. Same till now out of habit and comfort.
#for bulbs soft light is preferred for him with that more yellow glow. but i think he would enjoy candles or gas lamps still#maybe more impractical or maybe not. if he constantly moves spaces and has to adjust his setup i honestly could see him having ivan#bring such things along esp if there are limited outlet options. computers and monitors take precedence for him so if a table lamp doesnt#work easily for the space then why not bust out something electricity free?#on that same note i see him as detesting harsh flourscent lights. he might not dislike the ones with a filter cover on them to#make them less bad but still i dont think he would use them if he can avoid it#like the only non soft light he prefers i the blue light of his monitors ofc#such a ramble hopefully that wasnt more than you bargained for lol#-Lue asks
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