#like she HAS to know that it would be a slog and require a lot of shit to align

[isaacathom]

the fun thing about having both my oc's character sheet and a relevant npc's character sheet is that i can look at them and go, hmn. yeah that npc couldnt kill me unless the stars aligned

cause at one point mariela wanted naielle dead. was fully out for blood. the only thing stopping her was/is the geas-esque effect imposed by their shared warlock patron.

removing the geas is necessary for making it remotely viable, because mariela flatly cannot do enough damage in a single instance to outpace geas, and the best way for her to stop naielle from killing her back would be hold person, which is almost guaranteed to drop if she's taking geas damage throughout.

so you have to remove the geas, which broadly supposes that naielle has voided her own pact and not marielas. so we already have a point of 'well, it has to go that way' and while thats not impossible at all, its not the only way things will go.

naielle HAS to be out of the pact entirely for this to remotely work, too, because mariela NEEDS to remove her radiant resistance. her only damaging spell in significant amounts is guiding bolt, which is useless against naielle as a celestial warlock. you NEED that resistance gone to stand a chance.

but even then - mariela's a warlock too. she can only do guiding bolt so many times. 3, in fact. 3 regulars wont do it. it MIGHT, but the room of error is so small.

the best way to do it, in my mind, would be to use slot one to hold person, and take advantage of the auto crit w/i 5ft to launch 2 guiding bolts straight to the dome. 32d6+8, bam.

except this requires naielle to fail, at minimum, 3 wisdom saves. if she succeeds on even one of them, you lose an autocrit and are now w/i 5ft of a woman who, while down her warlock spells, still has a sword and a dragon king in her pocket. you need her to fail every single wis save.

now, i dont know how you'd rule the proficiency bonus of a classless individual (since if naielle isnt a warlock... well... ?). it might depend on circumstance, when mariela tries this. if naielles not a warlock, there was talk that she'd be made a fighter for a few sessions before becoming a sorcerer (long story). if shes in either, then wisdom fails are entirely doable, since she'd only have a +2. if she's still using the proficiency from her being a warlock (ie if mariela tries this immediately after naielle stops being a warlock), then mariela is fucked.

its possible. but still, 3 failed wisdom saves. marielas dc is only, what, 17? naielle still has a like 75% ish chance to get one of them. and even one success immediately fucks the plan. its not impossible, but its not great.

now a depowered naielle is NOT capable of killing mariela, ignoring the fact that naielle is not particularly inclined to do so, even if mariela is literally murdering her. naielles stubborn. but if she gets a turn off, she'll have to ability to alert people. and at that point shits fucked. like to get this to work, and stay working, you gotta kill her and keep her dead for over a minute. good luck?

an option for that is to remove her from the jade sea entirely, aware from the crew, and maybe just merc her in the astral sea. thats one of your spell slots spent just getting her there, assuming she doesnt manage to succeed on the check to Not Be Grabbed? like eg if its plane shift (which mariela wouldnt have access to, but lets not quibble), an unwilling creature has to hit with a melee spell attack (admittedly not hard here, her ac is only 16, marielas got over 50% chance to hit), and then fail a charisma save. even if naielle is no longer proficient with cha saves, its her highest stat. its not a sure bet. also if you use plane shift like that she gets banished on her own, you dont go with her and continue the fight. so you'd have to finagle.

removing naielle from the primary source of her power (her warlock patron) and her defences (the crew) are basically both required. if shes on her own in the astral sea, well. but llso! dragon king in pocket! if you start really wailing on her, and shes alone, if she gets the slightest chance she's going to do something with that orb, and she wont be happy about it afterwards but it might just give her the means to escape.

a LOT has to go marielas way to kill naielle, is all im saying. you'd want to get her out of the pact, remove her from the fleet, and ideally separate her from both the dragon orb AND her mindflayer sword, which SHE CAN USE TO PLANE SHIFT. Even if you're not on a different plane in this fight, Naielle might panic and peace the fuck out. you'd have to chase her. thats another spell slot.

fully mariela couldnt kill naielle unless she had help. maybe using a summon spell could help, get a creature restraining her, things of this nature. you have to completely disarm her. and if you did, and she's alone, and theres noone to save her, you would be forced to just like. eldritch blast her down. it would be a pathetic fight. it wouldnt be satisfying. it would be slow and painful and it would linger if shes trying to escape, and if shes not, thats not fucking satisfying either. no way thats what mariela would want. she might even give up after a bit of that.

probably easier overall to just kidnap her or smth. dont stop anywhere, just take her back or smth. she can be executed no problem. but mariela doing it herself is just going to be a miserable affair for everyone involved, including her.

[jtl07]

reflection: martial arts/fighting shenanigans

alright so i figured since this round of shenanigans is for me to practice stuff I don't usually write, the least I could do is share some of what I've learned from doing these.

the trouble i've been having with writing action scenes is mostly making things readable - idk if other folks have this problem, but sometimes when I know a thing too well, it's real easy to write too technically, where it becomes a slog to read through, especially if you're not familiar with what's going on.

so i went into this with readability being the biggest thing and I was surprised to realize how much the stage combat work I've been doing has helped. in stage combat, you have to do the same thing of balancing technique with story. as an actor, since you're often given the choreography (and not shaping it), you have to think about character and intent - as in, what does each move reveal about the character? how does each move further the story? having this practice in my head, helped in writing the prompts for this week.

[further ramblings and summarized takeaways under the cut!]

surprisingly, focusing on those specific questions helped take the pressure off for styles i don't have expertise in - for example, i've only done a little bit of sword work (compared to my years in other styles) and very little staff work so for the mind's eye prompt and the sci fi prompt, i made the conscious decision to kinda gloss over the technical stuff and frame things more in what the character's experience. thinking about character perspective helped with as well - for example, writing from Ava's perspective allowed for more leeway since she's not as knowledgeable.

for styles i do know very well (i.e. grappling/bjj), it was interesting to figure out the balance between what would be cool vs what would be in character. for example, regarding character: canonically, Ava has a wilder, brawler stand-up style compared to Beatrice, so for the pin prompt, I chose moves that were more wrestling/no-gi bjj (duck under feint to far side duck under to a mat return, front headlock / d'arce to kesagatame arm triangle). and while i have no real experience in melee situations (as much as i love aikido, i refuse to count multiple attack randori as real experience :P), i wanted to show Beatrice's calm, strategic side in the the sci fi prompt, hence why i called out how she was funneling her attackers and her situational awareness.

regarding what could be cool / planning the technicalities of the fight sequence: i realized i had to reel myself in and make things super duper simple. for example, in both the lake prompt and the pin prompt, the fight sequences are only a couple of moves; it would have only been seconds long in real time. but anything more longer or more complicated would've required a lot more context for folks not familiar with grappling to understand, which would've been best to set up outside of the actual fight sequence so that the fight itself could flow. (think: sports manga, like Haikyu)

actually, speaking of manga, I found myself relying a lot on the 4-act kishoutenketsu structure. it's the narrative structure i default to for short fics but it was especially helpful with these prompts, particularly in trying to figure out the 'ten' or turn - in other words, what's the surprise, the unexpected thing that makes the fight memorable? (recommendation: this video by Accented Cinema does a great job explaining kishoutenketsu in the context of fight scenes)

anyway, to summarize what i've learned about writing martial arts/fighting/action scenes:

always, always, always think about character - this will inform all the other choices you make, from perspective, to choreography (what they do, how they do it, why they do it), to how this affects the overall story

keep things ultra-simple when describing the fight itself (again, if you can set things up beforehand - Haikyu does a great job at this! - do so; otherwise, keep the fight about what's happening in the moment. [yeah i know there's some great examples of flashbacks mid-fight, but that's more an exception than the rule imo])

personal knowledge can be both a gift and a curse lol - that said, there are ways to leverage what you do or don't know, if you keep the first two points in mind.

i'm by no means an expert -this was only a week lol - but i'm happy to talk more about any of the prompts from this week or martial arts in general lol - thanks as always to everyone for playing. absolutely can't do any of this without y'all!

[m--rtyr]

my haunting adeline notes are kind of indecipherable but, im just gonna ramble about it and leave the sections im mentioning below (sourced online via the internet archive)

Tw for: Mentions of human/child trafficking, cannibalism (and im not happy about it), violence, non/dub-con, right-wing and antisemetic conspiracy theories, stalking, sexual themes, violence and child sacrifice.

There is an issue with the current (or most recent that i could find) edition of her TW page, namely that it doesn't actually tell you the important stuff, or really undersells it.

'very dark'??? descriptive, huh.

I've not gotten to the part where this TW applies ('CNC') but im 90% sure it is just NC, and that is fine to include in a book if you really want to, but please be upfront about it. CNC implies a level of consent that is, to my knowledge, not present in the scene(s) this refers to.

The TWs also discuss human trafficking, but fail to mention that there is CHILD trafficking, which is a very similar trigger, but it can be more triggering and requires at least a passing mention.

and those are really the only TWs they include other than 'triggering situations' and 'violence'.

The warnings also say that the book was taken down (from amazon) for the previous warning page, and frankly that isn't an excuse not to have an apt TW page now. Which may seem confusing until you read the original TW page and see that it probably wasn't taken down just because of a not nice word.

'Please find them in the reviews'?? Make a website. There are free platforms to do it, don't rely on your readers to provide a TW for you?

Also, issue with both TW pages, why is she talking about it ending with a cliffhanger. that. that isn't what TW pages are for.

About the older page, idk. i don't think this is the kind of way to discuss a TW page, with such kind of like. 'oh haha penis' energy. She rambles on about the cliffhanger (the ONLY thing in bold btw), and then theres the 'im in love with Zade and i want to see his penis all the time' bit. Before going on a ramble about how much TWs matter to her, despite not being specific at all in her later tw page.

That said, it does have A LOT MORE of the tws actually listed (in order: stalking, non/dub-con, graphic violence, sexual situations, human trafficking, child trafficking, child sacrifice, cannibalism (presumably of children), and child death). they're kind of hard to find in the huge slog of a tw page, but it's good at least that they're there.

and also it has the national human trafficking hotline number, which is good. we like that

But...

ABOUT THE TWS, this is very clearly right-wing, antisemetic conspiracy theory stuff. Multiple people have called it out for being Q-Anon fanfic. I've not read enough to know if this book is a blood cabal thing, but i have a sneaking feeling this is blood cabal stuff. which. yikes.

I'm not sure what would drive someone to include child cannibalism in their smut but. im not sure we're meant to think critically about it.

[twilightknight17]

On this round of P3R, we’re heading to the red-light district!

But first, I just want to say, Fuuka’s link requires MAX COURAGE to start? Omg. Now I’m assuming Mitsuru needs max academics. Good god. NG+ is absolutely gonna be needed for this.

So it’s now the third (technically fourth) full moon! And now that I’m thinking about the Magician and that whole mess, I think it’s a little funny that no one in SEES, in any of our downtime, has ever questioned, “Hey, what the fuck was that thing that ripped itself out of Orpheus and bodied the Magician in one shot? It might help with some of these slogging battles.” But no. It’s fine. We don’t need to know what that vastly powerful persona was. Whatever. Let’s rock.

Shirakawa Boulevard, despite Ikutsuki’s attempts to talk around it, is where the love hotels are!

I’m pressing X to doubt, sir!

So we’re off to the Champs de Fleurs hotel, and actually other than the weird curtained waiting area and sexy price list next to the front desk, it does look pretty normal? Like, it’s a hotel. It’s got hotel hallways and elevators and stuff.

And then we get to the third floor and the equivalent to the presidential suite.

This is labeled as the Hierophant’s Chamber, and… Lovers is supposed to be here? Did the P3 movies just straight-up skip the Hierophant Shadow and I never noticed? XDDD The Hierophant is very round and kind of looks like a really big guy with a lady with a head made of coral behind him.

Hierophant wasn’t bad, actually, and we get to explore the room afterwards before heading back downstairs. The kids clown on a lot of the décor, but like, the silly round bed would be cool for the novelty, and who DOESN’T want a tub that big???

But when we try to leave, we all get knocked out, and Minato wakes up in a different room, where Yukari is taking a shower.

This sounds very like Orpheus, but it’s definitely not Orpheus, because Orpheus would know that Yukari is not our soulmate!

Yes I will continue being biased. XDDDDD

If you say anything other than the correct answer, you get a “wait, that doesn’t seem right” thought bubble, and the dialogue just loops back to the start. You cannot fuck up the mission and game over on a night of brainwashed debauchery. XD

Minato comes to his senses, gets up from the bed, and Yukari comes out wrapped in a towel. She abruptly realizes where she is, screams, and slaps Minato before running back in the bathroom. And… Yukari? I was literally just standing here. Holy shit. Is this the pre-Kyoto warmup scene? God.

NONE OF THIS WAS MY FAULT???

Fuuka gets through to us, and we go back up to the second floor to meet up with Junpei and Akihiko.

I can only assume Junpei and Akihiko were put in the same room.

No one accused you of anything. Although now I’m giggling wondering what would have happened if I’d brought Mitsuru along instead.

We roam the hotel to find the mirrors we need to break to get back into the suite, and this is weirdly hilarious, all things considered.

But eventually we find our way back into the boss arena, and the Lovers has the perfect design, honestly.

GOD is it a bitch to fight, though. This fight took AGES because EVERY time it cast a spell with a charm effect, people got brainwashed. God forbid anyone other than Minato ever dodge an attack. Jesus fuck. I used every single one of my patra gems and dis-charms. Plus it cast diarama halfway through and of course when a boss does that it heals THOUSANDS of HP back to full health. Just give it salvation if you’re gonna do that.

As a brief side note, I love that when Minato casts the Jack Bros’ fusion spell, he just casually walks “offstage” afterwards and leaves them to it.

But finally, we’re out of here.

...Yukari volunteered so that I couldn’t take her out of the party and ruin my scripted undeserved slap. X’D

Gee, Yukari, I wonder if it’s because no one ever has anything nice to say to him? He just gets treated like the comic relief.

Also, we’re being watched by these dudes.

So when you say “we” do you mean you three, or like… humanity as a whole?

Back to the dorm to sleep this bullshit off, and then we move on with our week!

...christ, dude, I just came to see how you were doing. Can I please have a dialogue option so we can talk about this??? No???? Okay… God, this is Mona all over again. My god damn Magicians are always having problems.

...well, that’s nice. I wasn’t expecting that.

People at school are gossiping about how the school was rebuilt after an explosion ten years ago, and I’m getting texts from my attendant, who I apparently haven’t added to my phone? But at least she texts nicely.

It’s pre-exam week, so all my social links are busy. Instead, my academics are lagging, so I’m studying with the members of SEES who aren’t cranky with me. That means Yukari and Fuuka, and Mitsuru and Akihiko. Akihiko recommends doing a quick workout after every few problems, because then, you’ll power through the next set in anticipation of getting to your next workout!

Everyone I live with is insane. I love them. :’D

Ikutsuki calls a meeting to discuss something important, but before he can get to it, Yukari wants to speak. She’s had Fuuka looking into some stuff from the incident that happened ten years ago, and now she wants answers, because she thinks Mitsuru has been hiding things from us.

Other than the explosion, students were sent to the hospital, even though they were formally noted as just “absent”. It’s the same thing that happened to the girls bullying Fuuka; they fell unconscious and were unresponsive. Turns out, yeah, it was the same sort of thing. And it was Mitsuru’s grandfather, Koetsu Kirijo’s fault.

In greater Persona lore, knowing that he broke off from the Nanjo Group, he probably had access to tech that made his bullshit significantly easier to pull off. At the very least, we know he had the blueprints for a prototype anti-shadow suppression weapon, and the method to create artificial persona-users. But of course, he pushed too far.

(Sorry that these subtitles are kind of blurry. Basically, they gathered up a shitload of shadows and then lost control of them, because of course they did.)

Tartarus and the Dark Hour exist because of all of this. The lab explosion happened because they lost control, and because the lab was around/under Gekkoukan, it ended with the school needing to be rebuilt as well.

Yukari is not pleased with this development. She feels like we’re just being used to clean up other people’s mess. But as Ikutsuki puts it, we’re the only ones who can fix things. Normal people can’t fight shadows.

He also says that no one knows why the Arcana Shadows suddenly reappeared after ten years, but… Well.

No one is okay after this.

Junpei is angry because he feels like nothing he does is good enough, and that all he’s really good at is fighting, which won’t be necessary anymore if the Dark Hour vanishes.

Akihiko goes to see Shinji, who he apparently grew up with in an orphanage with someone named Miki, to tell him that they know how to stop the shadows now. But Shinji still won’t come back to SEES.

Me and Minato aren’t okay because I’ve finally started this guy’s social link, and he’s a dick.

Yukari’s dad was the lead researcher on the shadow stuff that led to the explosion, so I assume that he’s the one who got blamed for everything. Ikutsuki mentioned that the media picked one dude and demonized him.

I think this date is wrong, though. If it was ten years ago, that’d be 1999. Right? :/ It’s also just funnier if the lab exploded like 3 weeks after the Sumaru crisis ended.

But I saved the cat! So everything is not a complete wreck.

Pharos comes back to see me and implies some sketchy shit about my parents.

My parents (and my sister, shush, I’m pretending it’s canon) did not explode, though. So this isn’t their fault.

We’re absolutely friends.

After affirming that at least one person will stick by me to the end, even if that one person is a strange child who keeps waking me up at midnight, I come home from school the next day to find everyone sitting around experiencing the most awkward silence ever conceived.

Akihiko, no!

Thankfully, we manage to talk through what’s bothering the group as a whole (Junpei is still mad at me, I think), and Ikutsuki shows up to suggest that after exams, we all go on vacation to Mitsuru’s family’s summer home on the island of Yakushima. Her dad is going to be there, apparently!

Mitsuru reluctantly agrees, Yukari apologizes to her for being too gung-ho and accusatory the other night, and I think we’re all chill again. Which is good.

…….it’s my last night before exams and my option for study-buddy is Ikutsuki???

Nah. I’m out.

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 67 – Saint Death’s Daughter by C. S. E. Cooney

This is a book I’ve been vaguely aware of for a while, without really knowing anything about it beyond that it was getting a lot of positive buzz, but it got a WFA best novel nomination and that provided the impetus I needed to finally give reading it a try. And, well, I’ll be honest – this was a slog for me. If it had been half the size it would very likely be one of my favourite works of the year; as is the best way I can describe the reading experience is ‘slowly drowning in cotton candy’.

The book stars Miscellaneous ‘Lannie’ Stones, younger daughter of a declining noble house which has provided executioners and assassins to the royal family of Lariat since its founding, and generally but not lately provided necromancers as well. Lannie is the hope of the family, a necromantic prodigy (if one with a profoundly inconvenient allergy to violence that requires her isolation from the rest of the family and her raising by a bound revanent nanny and the dubiously trustworthy ghost of an ancestor). As the story opens, her parents have both died, and she’s been forced to write to her terror of an elder sister to come home as their debts are called due. She comes home with an enscrolled and deeply unwilling fiancee abducted during her studies. This, surprisingly, only takes up the first small chunk of the book, followed by a timeskip, the introduction of Lannie’s niece born in the interim, the elder sister dealing with the consequences of her seven-year campaign of bloody vengeance against the foreign court which murdered their parents, and the beginning of the actual plot.

I really did want to enjoy this book, and on the page-to-page level it was often somewhere between charming and delightful. But there were just so many pages, and so very little happening on most of them. After the timeskip the book spends something like 500 pages just leisurely meandering, stopping whenever anything catches its interest to spend half a page or three enthusiastically describing it. At a certain point the exuberant narration and playful vocabulary stop feeling delightful and start feeling like the author is somehow being paid by the word.

This is made all the odder by the fact that around the 80% mark the book suddenly realizes its got a bunch of problems to resolve and switches into an entirely different gear, rushing through revelations and resolutions like it’s on a deadline. Which apparently it was? The book ends with what feels like less of a sequel hook and more like a final hundred pages were chopped off the finished product by a longsuffering editor pushed past the brink.

So, the lion’s share of the book is interested less in plot than character dynamics and cute slice of moments. It’s very much a found family sort of narrative, delivered in an incredibly blunt fashion. Which definitely works for a lot of people, I’m sure, but everyone was so obviously written to be endearing and charming and fell into love of various sorts with each other so instantly it just left me cold, and more a bit bored.

This is a book with footnotes, and among those it feels pretty middle of the pack? Not doing anything particularly impressive with them, and they don’t have a real character or voice different from the rest of the book, but they’re a fun enough way to infodump a bunch of Stones family history (particularly all the ways different members have died).

Thematically...look, I’m aware this is entirely a personal pet peeve not shared by any particular audience, but the fact that Lannie’s whole life from infancy is being chosen as the beloved priestess of a goddess of death for one specific purpose, and that this is portrayed as an entirely benevolent, positive, and uplifting thing to have done at basically all points that it’s discussed just sets me on edge. There’s nothing really badly done about it, I’m just a contrary maltheist by nature and the book did basically nothing to allay that.

Generally – I don’t know, I’m not opposed to 700 page books (I’d be an utter hypocrite if I was. Almost certainly still am regardless), but I feel like being that long is a failing the book then has to justify? It should be obliged to do something with the length, if it’s going to demand so much of my time to wade through it. This didn’t really feel like it did.

[blazehedgehog]

Not all that related to the last question outside of the name drop, but what are your thoughts on Donkey Kong 64?

So generally I'd get consoles when they were new and relevant. Not brand new, like I'd never have them at launch, but at some point during that generation, my Mom would find a sale somewhere or save up enough money or whatever.

So, for example, 1992, I got a SNES. 1994, I got a Genesis. 1995, I got a 32X and a Sega CD, because in both scenarios, Toys 'R' Us was having an overstock fire sale and you could pick the hardware up for about $30 each and games for around $2. 1996, I got lucky and had enough money to buy a Sega Saturn for myself. 1997, I got a Playstation for Christmas. So on and so forth.

The one time that did not happen was with the Nintendo 64. The N64 was the rich kids console. A Playstation game was about $30, maybe $40. A Nintendo 64 game could be $60, $70, even $90+.

Not something you get when you're a family that has more or less lived paycheck to paycheck for basically their entire lifetime.

So I think it was after I got my Gamecube in 2004 or 2005, my Mom surprised me with a brand new hot pink Nintendo 64 and a huge number of pre-owned games. At the time I was confused and a little let down, but in retrospect it was actually kind of awesome, because she got me Super Mario 64, Mario Kart 64, Pokemon Stadium (with the Gameboy attachment!), Ocarina of Time, Diddy Kong Racing, Perfect Dark, and lastly, Donkey Kong 64.

She had fond memories of the year I got Donkey Kong Country for Christmas, and swapping the controller back and forth as we played. She wasn't very good at those games, but she thought the game looked beautiful, and hoped DK64 would fill that niche. Unfortunately, outside of the two racing games, she struggled to understand 3D analog character movement and it kind of soured her on all video games, forever.

I was already well acquainted with Super Mario 64. I was the kind of kid that latched on to in-store demo kiosks and would stand there playing for hours as long as nobody else was around, and I'd played quite a lot at a friend's house. I'd seen almost the entire game by this point. So, I dove right into Donkey Kong 64 first.

Well. That's a lie. Gamestop had sold my Mom Donkey Kong 64 without the RAM expansion cart. She knew the game required it, and they claimed to have included it at the time, but it was nowhere to be found. So we had to wait a day for the store to open back up.

But when I finally sat down to play it, the first impression I remember having was it taking over 20 minutes for me to get my first golden banana and thinking, "I hope the rest of the game isn't like that." Because, you know, 30 minutes in Super Mario 64, and you probably have enough stars to be halfway to the first boss fight. Each star (and in this case, golden banana) is tantamount to the game's "level" and opening with a level that took me 20+ minutes to figure out and complete is kind of outrageous.

But the rest of the game is actually worse.

Donkey Kong 64 is maybe the first and greatest example of quantity over quality. As legend goes, the game began development with Tim Stamper handing the team a list of items he thought needed to be collectables in their next game. If you have so many collectables you need to make a list to hold them all, that's your first mistake.

DK64 is a grind. It's a slog. Individual ideas don't seem so bad when viewed in isolation but everything around them is so watered down and stretched so thin that it's exhausting to deal with. It is a game about testing the limits of your tolerance for tedium.

My second strongest memory is opening up the final level and it taking me close to an hour. It's kind of a series of challenge rooms and minigames tailored to each Kong. The thing is, you get a time limit to finish the level. For every blueprint you've found elsewhere in the game, the timer gets extended, which is how I know how long it took me to finish the level.

Except... I didn't finish it. I got all the way to the final door, and with only a few minutes to spare, realized you needed both a Nintendo coin and a Rareware coin in order to open it and reach the final boss. I think I only had the Rareware coin.

Knowing how long it took me to get through this level, combined with the fact I'd have to find that Nintendo coin, and everything else... I gave up. I thought, "naw, I'm good."

And I didn't touch the game for 15 years.

Sometime in the last couple years, for whatever reason, I began poking at DK64 again in an emulator.

Not like, a lot. Just every now and then. But then I got up to Gloomy Galleon, and that level is the first one that really, actually, massively sucks so I haven't gone back to it in like six months.

Anyway. Awful game. Rare had really messed up priorities and the game is a massive disappointment. Sometimes it's a wonder Nintendo gave them the Donkey Kong license.

[krisiverse]

loz. which one had the best gameplay and which one had the best story in your opinion (+ worst of these too if you want?)

i hope you know how difficult of a question this is to answer concisely. not just because i have so much love in my heart for all of these games and it's impossible to pick a favorite but because i can be so petty sometimes. 1 million opinions under the cut

storywise i think wind waker is the strongest. i love the themes of it explores and the rich history of the world (especially now that i'm replaying it with the context of oot), i love the individuality of all the characters, i love how there's a clear throughline of motivation for link through the entire game. skyward sword is also really good, it's more focused on interpersonal connections and it has sort of the opposite approach to history and prophecy and it's neat!

i feel like the clear choice for worst story is triforce heroes which i don't think even other triforce heroes fans will disagree with, it's incredibly shallow by design and wasn't really MEANT to hold up at all. it's supposed to be silly! it's supposed to be not even secondary but tertiary to the cool puzzles and dress-up!

so my true worst story will be tears of the kingdom. it might have been good if the game had been designed around it more, but as-is it's a linear storyline stuffed into an open-world game, all the important story beats are cutscenes you watch that link and the player aren't even involved in, you can spoil the entire storyline for yourself just by viewing a single memory out of order, it's SUPER repetitive with the sages, and you can't use the information you actually learn until the "appropriate" part in the story. everything with the arm also makes me SO MAD, the very first thing i thought of with him waking up to it was how fucked up and traumatic that would be, and then i saw a post that said "yeah they literally grafted a dead hand to me irl without my consent and it was extremely fucked up and traumatic and this scene and all the focus on this arm following it was really triggering". and then they bullshit regrow his whole entire arm at the end. cowards. let link be an amputee, you don't even have an excuse of "but the gameplay" because the game is OVER and you even OUTRIGHT said you aren't going to put this one in more games. the only high point of this story is the light dragon and i love her. but she is not enough sorry

ANYWAY i think a link between worlds is still the absolute best in terms of gameplay. it's just so smooth and quick and snappy, you can get really creative with how you do fights and progression too! totk has similar levels of creativity and freedom which is neat.

for 3d games, skyward sword wii has some of the worst gameplay purely due to the control scheme, the motion control is somehow both oversensitive and imprecise and almost every enemy requires you to react quickly and slash in a specific direction... it adds up to a really bad experience. the switch version helped a lot just thanks to the joycons being more accurate and being able to recalibrate on the fly

twilight princess is honestly a slog to get through imo. it has the "huge, empty overworld" problem that absolutely every 3d zelda game has, but without access to at-will fast travel for the first half of the game until you get the master sword, and there don't even seem to be any shortcuts between areas like in ocarina of time?? or any way to pass the time between day and night? the main things i remember from playing twipri are spending ages running across hyrule field to get somewhere, spending ages waiting just outside kakariko village for it to become daytime so i can go in the shop, spending ages CLOMP CLOMP CLOMPing across the magnetic ceiling in my big metal boots in the goron mines long after the novelty of walking on the ceiling has worn off...

the worst gameplay in the top-down zelda games is unfortunately the gb/gbc games (link's awakening, oracle of seasons, and oracle of ages) having two buttons total for your sword, interacting with things, and ALL items in a lttp-style gameplay where you're constantly rotating between different items... it's not user friendly! which sucks because the dungeons are really good, and LAHD proved what a big difference it makes to have extra buttons to bind to and a little bit of extra polish... OOA and OOS really need the remake treatment. also, i didn't have any particular problems with it when i played, but shoutouts to the mermaid's dungeon in oracle of ages for having the single worst level design i've seen in any video game ever

(shoutouts also to zelda 2, for having such different gameplay from every other game in the franchise that i don't have any idea how to rank it)

[liveblogging-assassins-creed]

Review tiiiiime!

Overall, AC Origins was really fun! I had a great time playing it, even if it felt a little long

(More detailed review under the cut)

Animation: The animation was beautiful, and it felt very smooth! I loved how detailed the character's expressions were!

Environment: The environments we're stunning! We're able to explore such a vast range of Egypt, and with that comes lots of distinct places, every one of them beautiful!

Audio: The composers really out did themselves, I could practically feel the emotions the music was conveying! I also loved the percussion!

Story: Bayek and Aya's story was something I don't think I can describe with words... The hunt for Khemu's killer, working for and then against Cleopatra, the divorce arc??? Aaahhhghfgdhfgdhh if I could eat the story I would /pos

Layla's story is refreshing after mediocre modern day plotlines, but I think it could use some work... Ubisoft has successfully peeked my interest on her, which is good, but I feel like they rushed Dee's death... I also think that there may have been an error when ordering the sequences? Because when Layla does her whole speech to Abstergo, she claims to have "seen the birth of the assassins" when we hadn't actually seen them form their order yet!

Another thing, we we're never given any indication that Layla knew about the modern assassins??? I was assuming she didn't, since she knew so little about Desmond and the Templar Order in her files? Also why was she claiming to be the first person to relive another bloodline's genetic memories??? Are they just retconning the last four games??? Aileen Bock did it in like, the eighties/nineties!

I also wish we got more time to see the symptoms of the bleeding effect...

Characters: Bayek's character is so EPIC!Odysseus coded... Watching him slowly care less and less about his targets in his quests for revenge made my heart hurt :') he so desperately wanted to fix what broke the day Khemu died, but he couldn't... I'm glad that the divorce was at least amicable (also bro is the best uncle figure the world has ever seen there will never be another like him bless his heart)

Aya seems to have drowned herself in her work, constantly moving from one task to another, unlike Bayek, she doesn't seem to be seeking closure, and keeps moving in order to help people, choosing reinvent herself and move on instead of dwelling on the past

It seems that they both represent opposite sides of the spectrum, Bayek choosing to cling to Khemu and the life he had before, while Aya chose to leave everything behind

Neither of them were processing their grief well, and in the end, their relationship suffered for it... Them both acknowledging that their relationship was no longer healthy, was good, and I wish these fictional characters the best in their futures

I'll be honest, I really like Layla's personality! She's brash and arrogant, believing she knows best, and I feel like I'm gonna enjoy how she develops! I wish we had gotten more interactions between her and Dee, though I was going to call them lesbians as a joke, but I didn't think they'd do it, and right as one of them dies too!

Gameplay: The fighting system took a while to get used to, but it was alright! I think this is the first assassin's creed game where I actually dodged instead of parrying. The missions were unique and fun, and I liked all the different play styles I could use!

One thing that I'm on the fence about are the side quests and the leveling system... I chose to only do the main quests when I had reached the recommended level, and that required a loooot of side quests. On one hand, doing all these acts of kindness and protection made me feel like I was truly playing Bayek, and it quickly endeared me to his character, but on the other st times it was a slog to get through, and made the game take a long time... At the end I was getting a little sick of it lol

Misc: The game is losing points for making me go through and entire side quest just to get a fucking ad.

Overall, 6.5/10 game, 8.5/10 if they hadn't included a fucking ad break in my funny murder game

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Other Evans Girl [Part Forty One]

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauder’s Era]

Pairing: Sirius Black x Original Female Character, Sirius Black x Daisy Evans, James Potter x Lily Evans

Characters: Sirius Black, Original Female Character, Daisy Evans, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix LeStrange, Walburga Black, Orion Black, Jasper Thicknesse, Barty Crouch Jr, Mulciber, Walden McNair

Word Count: 3291

Rating: Mature

Summary: Hogwarts is a safe haven, a home for many, but it’s often a place where heartache, love and complex emotions dwell and none know that better than the Marauders. Lily Evans just wants to make it out as a successful witch though the oncoming war and the ongoing advances of James Potter threaten that. Daisy Evans, her twin, has other goals. Join the Evans sisters as they make their way through Hogwarts, prepare for war and eventually find love.

Tags/ Warnings: Hogwarts, Friends, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Marauder’s Era, Teenage Angst, Babies, Weddings, Dating, Crying, Loss of Virginity, First Wizarding War, Love, Kissing, Teenagers, James Potter is a bit of a dick, Hogsmeade, 1970s, Fighting, Loss of Parents, Grief, Babies, Injuries, Gore, Harm, Christmas,  The Potter’s Mansion // Daisy’s Dress // NYE Lily’s Dress // NYE Daisy’s Dress // Lily’s Ring // Daisy’s Ring

Notes: Okay so I’ve been working on updating this and I’ve finally gone through all the chapters already written before I start writing more. It’s changed a lot so I’ve decided it’s just better to completely re-upload it.  

If you want tagging let me know

LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST // LINK TO ALL PARTS

Daisy hated detention, absolutely detested it. Of course James took to their weeks’ worth of detention like a duck to water despite rarely being punished these days, something Daisy was sure Lily was a factor in. But for her detention was a hard slog as her nights were robbed from her with whatever inane task McGonagall chose to allocate them that day. The dreadful thing was that the tasks didn’t require much attention which meant she couldn’t keep her mind away from having to tell Lily about going home for the summer. It was coming far too soon and was made more obvious to her as exams crept ever closer announcing the end of term. In the first few days James and Sirius had nagged her to get it over with but every time she looked at her sister she found that she couldn’t get the words out, her grief wrapping itself around her words and pulling them back down in to her chest. She would tell her, she just needed time. Which she found was not on her side as she watched James call defence club to attention and announce this was one of the last meetings before the end of term.

‘What why?’ Penelope said, her voice the first to call out from the group. ‘Because everyone’s going to be busy for the next few weeks,’ James said. ‘So?’ Penelope protested. ‘Yeah we’ve got a few weeks before summer,’ Rudy Scrimgeour reasoned. ‘Yeah and we’ve a million exams to do,’ Lily said. ‘Lil’s right and by the time they’re done it’s summer anyway,’ Remus chipped in, stirring Daisy’s nervous stomach with his reminder. ‘So what then? Do we just stop learning?’ Penelope scoffed. ‘Of course not,’ Daisy said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. She had done very well at playing the cool girlfriend even if Penelope hadn’t made it easy seeing that she had done everything in her power to ensure Sirius was her only friend in the group. ‘There’s nothing to stop you practicing. Any of you,’ James said. ‘They’re right,’ Frank said, ‘because as fun as it is to learn all this stuff, us seventh years haven’t got time to do extracurriculars.’ ‘Frank’s right,’ Terry Bones agreed, ‘besides you lot are gonna be coming back so it’s hardly like this is the end for you is it.’ ‘Look it doesn’t have to be the last meeting today,’ James reasoned, still seeing a few disappointed faces. ‘Yeah we could probably squeeze one in just before the end of term but for now we’re probably better off having a break,’ Marlene added. ‘Well there’s no point wasting time then yes?’ Pierre asked, receiving an appreciative smile from the group leaders who started to coordinate what this meeting would be covering.

Sirius however couldn’t help but notice Penelope didn’t fall in line quite as quickly as everyone else. He’d been watching her from the sidelines perplexed by just how firm she’d been in not wanting to finish the club just yet. If anything he didn’t want to either but when the others had brought it up he realised they had a point and despite himself he couldn’t help but want to put some effort in this year considering he’d applied for the auror course and was yet to hear back.

As everyone dove into what they’d be doing he moved through the crowd towards Penelope, coming to stand by her side and offering her a sympathetic smile. She smiled back at him glumly. That was the other thing that perplexed him. That no matter how unfairly he’d treated her, stringing her along however unintentionally, they’d become friends. He hadn’t intended for it to go that way but she seemed to gravitate towards him. Not in a romantic way. No, he reasoned to himself, if he’d had sensed any lingering feelings he would’ve removed himself from the situation and forced her to buddy up with someone else, but there wasn’t anything there. No, their little dynamic was nice, familiar even.

He waited for a moment, glancing at her as she listened over the crowd to what James was telling them to do. She wasn’t looking at him, the sympathetic smile she’d given him now replaced by a tightness to her jaw that indicated her irritation was still present. Sirius folded his arms across his chest and cleared his throat, capturing her attention in an instant and making her eyebrow raise.

‘You okay?’ he asked. ‘Fine,’ she replied tightly, ‘why?’ ‘You just seemed upset,’ he said, the scrutiny of her gaze making him feel uncomfortable so he looked back towards James who was explaining the theory behind how to produce a patronus charm. ‘It’s just a shame about the club,’ Penelope said quietly, her eyes also locked on James, ‘I like it here.’ ‘Me too,’ Sirius said, the honesty in her voice enticing him to look at her though she kept her gaze forward. She didn’t look angry anymore, if anything she looked sad, her melancholy making her look younger somehow, ‘we all do but with exams it’s probably best we have a break.’ ‘Yeah, yeah you’re right,’ she said, finally looking up at him. As she did Sirius couldn’t help but stare feeling something was off but he didn’t know what. Did her raven black hair look lighter? Her electric blue eyes duller, almost grey like his own. ‘What?’ she asked self-consciously as he ogled her. ‘Nothing,’ he mumbled, unable to place what was wrong. ‘Are you sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,’ she reasoned. ‘I’m fine you just looked…different,’ he said, now feeling self-conscious himself for having been caught staring at her. ‘Really?’ she asked, panic lacing her tone. Sirius didn’t respond, he didn’t know how to which is why he was glad when she answered for him, hurriedly saying, ‘it’s probably because I’m not feeling too good. Actually I think I better go to Madam Pomfrey.’ ‘Are you sure?’ he asked. ‘Yeah, um see you later,’ she said, slinking through the crowd as he muttered goodbye. He watched her go unable to place his finger on what it was about her that felt different, but as James called his name and beckoned him over to help he put it to the back of his mind.

Yet it wasn’t at the back of Daisy’s mind as she watched Penelope hurry from the room. She hadn’t been listening, she was too far away for that, but she had been keeping a close eye on the pair, cool girlfriend reputation be damned. She didn’t know why it intrigued her so much. She knew there was nothing between them and yet she couldn’t help but have a curiosity about Penelope or rather why Penelope was here. Of course there was the obvious, she was muggleborn like Daisy, but given how she’d reacted when the pair of them had gotten together it just didn’t sit right with the blonde. Especially not how she was happy to try and befriend Sirius. Which was probably why she was finding her feet following her, grabbing the bag she’d left by the door so that she had a reason to do so.

‘Penny!’ Daisy called as she hurtled down the stairs, the sound of footsteps not so far ahead of her. She hoped she’d wait for her to catch up and as she reached the bottom of the stairs and spotted a figure standing just outside the alcove she thought she had and lunged forward to stop her.

‘Penny wait you’ve forgot your bag-’ she said grabbing the figure by the shoulder though as they spun around she found it wasn’t Penelope, ‘oh it’s you.’ ‘Nice to see you too,’ Regulus said, rolling his eyes before he yanked his arm out of her grasp. ‘What are you doing up here?’ she asked as he pulled away from her, irritably adjusting his cloak so that it pulled around him fully. Daisy wondered why he was even bothering to wear the damn thing, the sweltering summer heat leaving her own skin muggy from where she’d run downstairs. ‘Funnily enough Slytherins are allowed out of the dungeons once in a while,’ he said drily, ‘besides I could ask you the same thing.’ ‘Nothing,’ Daisy lied, a little too quickly. Regulus’ steel grey eyes narrowed, watching her sceptically. Yet she didn’t cower to him even if her poker face had been poor. ‘Sure,’ Regulus replied, ‘don’t worry I’m sure whatever you were up to isn’t anything more exciting than having a quick fumble with my brother in some random broom cupboard.’ ‘You know Sirius. Surprised I can catch my breath,’ she mocked. ‘You’re so funny,’ Regulus snipped. ‘Well there must be something your brother likes about me,’ she replied, ‘you probably would too if you stopped being so narrow minded.’ ‘And you’re what? Loving and non-judgemental to all?’ Regulus snorted. ‘Yeah well when your mates try to kill students for fun it kinda makes it hard to like you. Still I suppose it’s not all bad given how tremendously shit they are at executing a plan,’ Daisy laughed. ‘You sure about that?’ Regulus sneered, halting her laughter in its tracks. ‘What?’ she asked, a nervous feeling in her stomach which worsened as Regulus shook his head and attempted to leave. She didn’t let him though, grabbing him by the cloak and stopping him from moving, ‘no go on spit it out.’ ‘Dais where are you?’ Marlene’s voice echoed off the stone staircase as she appeared at the alcove, clocking the pair of them, ‘oh.’ ‘Not be a minute,’ Daisy said hurriedly though as she turned to look at her friend Regulus shook out of her grasp, ‘where are you going?’ ‘Leaving,’ he said simply, evidently not caring about how demanding her voice had gotten. ‘What are you on about?’ Daisy pressed following him as he headed up the corridor. Regulus kept his eyes forward, ignoring her as she harped on at him, his jaw clenched. Daisy didn’t care. Not when he’d hinted at the suspicions she’d been having since they’d caught the Slytherins. She had wanted to be wrong, to think that they’d caught them up to whatever they were going to do but now it felt as though she had been right, that Regulus was confirming she was right to have doubts.

‘Dais,’ Marlene said nervously. ‘Just a minute,’ Daisy snapped but in her distraction he’d gotten away from her and was now too far up the corridor for her to chase not that it stopped her from shouting, ‘Regulus what are you on about?’ He was by a closed door, his hand on the knob as he had prepared to go through but at her calling he paused. He seemed to be deliberating something, his mind whirring behind familiar grey eyes as he thought of what to say. After a beat he sighed and said, ‘let’s just say I’m not the only one who has noticed where you and your boyfriend have a quick fumble.’

And with that he flounced through the door and out of sight leaving Daisy’s mind spinning in the process. What did that mean? Of course she’d suspected they’d been keeping tabs on them. It was what they’d been doing after all but did they know about the club? Were they planning something? If they were most likely it’d be for her or James given they were the ones that usurped their original plans.

‘What was that about?’ Marlene asked, appearing at her side when she failed to turn around. ‘I don’t know,’ Daisy said grimly, ‘but it’s not good.’

✵✵✵

Over the next couple of days Daisy found herself torn though granted it was mostly about what to fret over - Lily or Regulus. It had gotten so bad she found her worries only leaving the forefront of her mind when faced with mountains of revision. Though she knew she had to tell Lily soon she was now in a constant debate whether or not to tell the group what Regulus had said. After all it could’ve been an empty threat, a bruised ego spewing bile, and yet she felt something niggling her. It didn’t help that whenever Regulus’ name was thrown in the mix whilst talking about the Slytherins or death eaters Sirius grew quiet. He never expressed it out loud but Daisy could see the sadness in his eyes thinking of the path his brother was headed down. So for now she was keeping quiet. At least until she knew what they were up to besides it wasn’t as though they were due another club meeting for at least a week or two.

Fortunately that was easy to do as she arrived at breakfast Sunday morning and spotted James in the middle of a staring contest with a letter. He didn’t look up as she took a seat opposite him, sliding in beside Sirius who placed his hand on her thigh the moment she was seated. Instead he kept his eyes glued to the envelope which was propped up against his goblet of pumpkin juice.

‘What’s that?’ Daisy said curiously as she grabbed a piece of toast from the rack. ‘My letter from the auror’s board,’ James said, finally looking at her. ‘Oh cool!’ Daisy said excitedly, ‘what does it say?’ ‘He doesn’t know. He won’t open it,’ Sirius said through a mouthful of cornflakes. ‘Why not?’ Daisy asked incredulously. ‘Search me,’ Sirius said in a manner that suggested he’d already gone over this conversation a million times before she’d gotten there. ‘I thought you didn’t care if they don’t want you,’ Daisy reasoned, remembering all the bravado he’d given at every step of applying whilst Lily worried on his behalf. ‘Well I don’t,’ James lied, ‘obviously it’s their loss if they don’t but…’ ‘Lilys made you worry,’ Daisy finished. At that he looked up, chewing nervously on his lip which confirmed the sentiments were true. Daisy sighed.

‘I’m not worried,’ he started, ‘it’s just she’s been so excited for me to get onto the course and well this is the first step I don’t want to disappoint her.’ ‘She won’t care if you don’t get in,’ Daisy said smiling as James threw her a pointed look, ‘okay that’s a lie she definitely will but only because she knows how much it means to you. Besides, you're worrying and you don’t even know if there’s anything to worry about yet.’ ‘Oh yeah? If that’s the case why haven’t you told her about not wanting to go home for summer,’ James challenged. ‘Don’t take it out on her mate,’ Sirius warned. At that James realised he’d gone too far and his face grew sheepish as she said, ‘sorry.’ ‘It’s alright,’ Daisy smiled, ‘and I am going to tell her soon I promise. I’m just trying to find the right time. And anyway at least I know she might not take my news so well. You don't know anything until you open it.’ ‘She’s got a point,’ Sirius agreed. James looked between them and then sighed before he reached forward and grabbed the letter, opening it up and scanning through it quickly.

‘So?’ Daisy asked after giving as much time as she could bear to wait. ‘I got an exam,’ James said, beaming at her as his nerves disappeared. ‘Well done mate,’ Sirius replied. ‘Pads is right, well done!’ Daisy smiled, looking at Sirius as she added, ‘we just need to get yours now and we’ll be set.’ ‘Well actually I already did,’ Sirius said. ‘What? When?!’ Daisy gawked. ‘This morning. I was checking Regulus’ post again, there was nothing in it as per,’ he said. ‘Never mind that,’ Daisy persisted, too impatient to think of the Slytherins right now. Not when this was the only thing she’d felt good about in the past few days. Sirius shrugged and said, ‘I got one too.’ ‘Sirius, that's amazing!’ she said leaning to cuddle into his side for a moment before pulling away and saying, ‘we should celebrate!’ ‘Dais it’s just an invite for the exam,’ Sirius said quietly. ‘I don’t care. It’s a big deal we’re celebrating,’ she said firmly and after a quick glance at one another the boys nodded along knowing there was no point in telling her no.

✵✵✵

Given the fact everyone was swamped with revision Daisy’s celebrations had been restricted down to just hanging out in the attic for the night much to the boy's relief. Still she tried to make it a little more special by producing a cake she’d gotten from the kitchens that had ‘Congratulations’ smushed across it. She didn’t know why she was going all out over such a little thing. Obviously the boys had a point, seeing as this was only the first basic step in becoming an auror and there were a load more obstacles they had to come, but given the way of the world and all her worries she couldn’t help but want to cherish the little things.

Still as fun as it was, it didn't stop a new school week from coming ever closer and so around eleven pm Lily decreed that they should head to bed and after tidying up the attic they checked the map and confirmed that the coast was clear to sneak back to Gryffindor tower. Whilst the boys took the lead the girls brought up the rear, chatting quietly about the first exam of the season which was transfiguration on Tuesday.

‘I definitely think that there’ll be a question on Gamp’s law so you should definitely recap that,’ Lily said. ‘I looked at that the other day I think,’ Daisy said. ‘Good, because I think she’ll make it worth a few marks,’ Lily said, as she pushed her hair back from her face, running her hand across her ear as she did which caused her eyes to go wide as she said, ‘oh my God!’ ‘What is it?’ Daisy said, pausing as she realised her sister had stopped in her tracks. ‘My earring is gone,’ Lily said. ‘What?’ Daisy asked. ‘My earring,’ she said panicked, ‘the earrings James gave me for my birthday.’ ‘Let’s have a look,’ Daisy said, pushing her sister’s hair back so that she could see her now bare lobe. ‘It must be upstairs,’ Lily said nervously. ‘When would it have come out?’ Daisy asked. ‘Well James and I were never mind,’ Lily mumbled, flushing bright crimson as she realised what she was going to admit to. Daisy rolled her eyes and diverted the conversation away from the elephant in the room as she said, ‘well let’s just go and look for it.’ ‘No, James can’t know I’ve lost it!’ Lily bit back.

‘What are you two doing?’ James called, snapping the pair’s attention to where the boys were watching them suspiciously. ‘Nothing we just-’ Daisy started though she didn’t know where her answer was going and neither did Lily which was why she interjected and said, ‘Daisy’s lost her ring.’ ‘Yeah,’ Daisy said, glancing at her sister before back at the others, ‘must’ve slipped off in the attic. We were just gonna nip back and look for it.’ ‘Want us to come?’ Sirius asked, his eyes trailing down to Daisy’s hand which she shoved in the pocket of her jeans quickly hoping he hadn’t spotted the ring that was still definitely in place. ‘No it’s alright,’ Lily said, ‘I’m sure we can find it.’ ‘Are you sure?’ James frowned. ‘Yep,’ Lily said, dragging her sister as she turned towards the attic, ‘only be two minutes, right Dais?’ ‘Yeah,’ Daisy said. fighting the urge to roll her eyes as Lily tugged her along. The boys were still watching, suspicious due to their shifty behaviour but she threw them a smile in the hopes to reassure them and said, ‘see you back the common room yeah?’

She only managed to see Sirius nod in recognition before she was yanked through a door towards the attic. Once they were through Lily released her grip on her sister who straightened up, smoothing her t-shirt out as she said, ‘subtly done Lil.’ ‘Sorry,’ Lily said meekly, ‘I just don’t want him to know I’ve lost it.’ ‘By the sounds of it it’s his fault it’s missing,’ Daisy said, ‘he should be the one wading through couch cushions.’ ‘It shouldn’t take long I think I know where it might’ve gone,’ Lily explained. They were on the corridor to the attic now, the alcove just around the corner only as they turned down it they found they weren’t alone. Standing by the door just across from them was Penelope. Given the lateness of the hour the girls were surprised to see her but it was nothing compared to how startled she looked. Daisy thought for a moment it was due to Lily’s prefect status but it wasn’t as though she could do anything, she wasn’t on rounds and to pull someone up on breaking curfew when the pair of them were doing the same wasn’t going to wash. Nevertheless her panic didn’t fade and without a word she scurried through the open door, slamming it behind her harder than expected. Lily watched her go but then turned her attention back to the task at hand and continued her journey to the attic stairs. Daisy however couldn’t shake that niggling feeling.

‘That was weird right?’ Daisy asked, moving quickly to her sister’s side so she wasn’t left behind. ‘Yeah a bit,’ Lily said. ‘Do you think she was up in the attic?’ Daisy asked, ‘I mean it’s not like there’s even anything up on this floor.’ ‘Maybe. She probably just forgot something,’ Lily reasoned as she entered the alcove but before she could duck around the statue and head up the stairs Daisy stopped her. ‘Why not come back on the day then? I mean the last meeting was days ago,’ Daisy reasoned, unable to shake that easy feeling inside her though she didn’t know why. After all the attic wasn’t solely theirs even though they’d commandeered it. All members of the club were allowed to go up there but there was something in the back of her brain that made her feel nervous. Lily’s nerves however didn’t seem present, her focus still on the task at hand as she said, ‘maybe she’s only just realised.’ ‘But what would it be? Me and Sirius dropped her bag off at Ravenclaw tower. One of the first years took it in. Why would she-’ ‘Oh Dais for god sake!’ Lily said exasperatedly, taking off up the stairs with Daisy on her heels, ‘I’ve got more important things to be worried about.’ ‘Yeah like how you’re going to find fifty galleons to buy more earrings if we can’t find these,’ Daisy teased. ‘Oh don’t say that,’ Lily sighed. ‘I’m only kidding,’ Daisy giggled. ‘Yeah well stop it,’ Lily said.

They’d reached the top of the stairs now and Lily whipped her wand out from her pocket to unlock the door. Daisy loitered by top of the stairs but as Lily swished her wand and muttered, ‘alohomora,’ the familiar clunk of the door unlocking didn’t come. At that Daisy straightened up because she was sure they’d locked it behind them. Lily didn’t notice there was anything amiss and Daisy didn’t have time to remind her about it because the door was barely open before there was a deafening boom and Daisy was thrown back down the stairs, hitting every step like a rag doll until finally she lost consciousness.

SIRIUS BLACK/SERIES TAGS

@maeisafangirl @mysteriouslydelicateface @caitlin1996 @imthebadguyyy

[gravelgirty]

Tales from an All-Night Hospital

My hospital roommate did not have a good prognosis. I'm lying on my back and, under the influence of interesting pharmaceutical cocktails, marveling at how the bed can be adjusted. I'm not the only person at the largest hospital in South Puget Sound for Full Frontal Feline Assault.

Yes, I am trying HARD to mine some humor into the situation because, #@($*Y#@%(Y things are grim in my head--I'm missing work and I also missed my colon exam AND my very, very important Cancer Screen because I wound up here.

For obvious reasons, I do not divulge the details. I can say that she was getting the best of care. That her health issues were making experts scratch their heads in bafflement that the concerning body parts weren't smiling and saying "Cheese!" for their imaging tech. And I never once saw what she looked like, but her visiting offspring were an astonishing demonstration of the broad range of what was genetically possible in a WASP bloodline. Offhand I'd guess Northern Italian-Alpine. A son was dusky and swarthy and could have merrily been wiping Pacific Ave with a bocce ball tournament even though he was in his mere 60's. A daughter was the "White as rye bread" towering version over two meters in height.

Because logistics is its own terrible deity, she was placed further from the bathroom even though she was supposed to do a lot of bathroom activity. Here I am full of enough opioids that I'm wistfully thinking of the days back when my peristaltic action was a reliable event. I don't know how much attention she pays to me, but after a day it appears she has been very alert to her surroundings.

When a child on the other side of the privacy screen asked what messed me up, she strongly suggested it was a bobcat.

This made me think, not so fondly, of the days when my twin was working a slog job at our hometown's hospital in WV nicknamed "Death Valley" and they were too cheap to light the freaking parking lots properly and two people had to go out with the garbage and when she walked out with Bob, he tossed the bag of waste into the dumpster and scared the bobcat (no relation to Bob) that was already in there and it jumped zing out of the dumpster and used his chest as a launching pad to leap forever into that good night while two hospital employees raged, raged, against the dearth of light.

Another thing my hospital roommate was doing. Just in case things made a turn for the worst, she was getting rid of the stuff she didn't want. Again, I have to be very careful about not giving away personal details, but this is the upshot of it all:

Mom (my roommate) had decided in the maturity of her 8+decades she wasn't going to mess around and those heirlooms she had been joylessly dragging around since Grandma Pearlie kicked the bucket (or condescended to make an appointment to join her ancestors, I'm not sure)? She wasn't going to be like Grandma Pearlie.

I am not sure how long I laid in my hospital bed with a zero window view of the snow-caped volcanos while Roomie made her kids play cards for heirlooms, but it seemed like a long time.

Think CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY only mix it up with professional card games that require a minimum of two players. Most of us would think of GIN RUMMY, but towards the end I was thinking of the less well known game called SPITE AND MALICE.

There were a lot of thoughtful old objects that needed, shall we be direct, a home or at the very least, an institution. Perhaps along the lines of TINKERTOPIA. For those of you unfamiliar with the Left Coast's cultural paradigm, think ARCHIE McPHEE only without the inappropriate mummified mermaid (oh my god, so inappropriate) and they're in Seattle anyway. Tinkertopia is a thoroughly Grit City institution, where you can walk in on any given day and find something from the banal (scrap paper) to the ehh? (the blacksmith's anvil in the middle of the shop with a sign that says HAUNTED: NOT FOR SALE!)

or the book that was basically THE HISTORY OF DEAD WHITE MEN'S WALKING STICKS normally for $100 and they were offering $10 to please, God, get it off out hands. Now, please.

So here's Hospital Mom who has two specific goals in life before she crosses over that metamorphically limned river and rests in the shade of the trees:

The punch bowl.

Under Round 1, the oldest daughter lost the game for the punch bowl. In fifteen minutes of quiet slap-slap of pasteboard paper Mom got...bloody with the game and I sensed her victory when Daughter suddenly switched her language to Oldest Born Coping Mechanisms and started talking (uncertainly at first, then with growing confidence), about how why yes, she'd take Great-Great-Grandma's green punch bowl home in a heartbeat because it would be just the thing for Christmas parties.

Untranslatable to this transcription is inflection, but I have heard identical tones from a used car salesman forced to accept a dreadful beater car (named Sanford from Sanford & Son and maybe I mean the TV show with Redd Foxx and maybe I mean the Tacoma version where you can peruse a sarcophagus). Why, no, I'm just thrilled to have this opportunity, sir. How many miles did you say? That probably won't impact the resale value for parts and smelting.

I will probably go to my grave wondering how bad the punch bowl was because at the end of it, the daughter was speculating how it would be a great Christmas party decoration if it was wrapped up in twinkle lights first.

This leads me to imagine a lime-green monstrosity of glass, a shade similar to a disastrous memory of working for a catering gig in WV when a local mayor contracted us to cater a 7:20 am breakfast to a state governor infamous for approaching the Hour of Dawn already drunk as a plaid skunk. That horrible contract included lime punch for a flipping breakfast, like, hello, Mayor, we all know you're trying to deny you ever lived for ten minutes in a trailer on the Eastern Panhandle, but lime punch (the unholy Satanic marriage of lime sherbet dissolved into a seething froth of Sprite or 7-Up or an off-brand clear carbonated soda) just does not DO for a breakfast, especially when the guest of honor you want to toady up to is three sheets to the wind and ready to barf all over his tailored polyester blend as soon as he smells Covington, VA's pulp mill effluem on the north-bearing winds.

The punch bowl is thusly dispensed to the offspring.

That left...something even worse.

A coffee-drinking set.

For those of you who have not yet encountered these, coffee sets are usually china, porcelain, or something just as chippable and delicate with limited units and hard to replace. Common to rare in style, they are unified in their difficulty for replacement parts. If you think tea sets are fiddly, you haven't a patch on coffee sets. Tea sets at least have the comfort of too many pieces and a huge tray to carry it all on...coffee sets for some reason are normally doomed to be an awkward shape for human lips upon the rim, miserly proportions, inconsistent patterns, and what authorix Lilian Jackson Braun described as "fingertrap handles".

Coffee sets are an increasingly common source of bafflement to the average North American, who will rationalize that if the coffee doesn't taste great at least there's a lot of it. Hence the slight embarrassment we get when we order a cup of joe smaller than 20 ounces. A cup that holds about 4 ounces or 120 ml in the New Money is...not up to the task at hand.

Once in a while some company decides (revenge against idiot North Americans?) to make an exclusive set and it is packed and marketed like the greatest thing since pre-sliced enriched white bread. These jokers really get going after economic hardship eras, like the American Civil War/War of Southern Treason, or WWI, WWII, and a strange period where people tried to pretend the rest of the world didn't know coffee from tea.

Or if you want to be overly realistic about it, didn't know chicory from fireweed or roasted holly leaves.

By the time I checked out of the hospital two days later, I still never learned what was so specifically awful about that coffee set. I just know that Mom and her offspring never directly hinted on it...they just invariably said this. No matter who they were, they would refer to the set like this in hushed tones:

"The...(pause) coffee set."

Every.

Time.

It is always the story you don't know, the tale that got away, that will haunt you to your grave.

Like my work? Buy me a Ko-Fi!

[gillianthecat]

I’ve been struggling to get through the last few episodes of To Sir With Love so I "cheated" and read some posts about the ending…

… and I am very relieved. I hadn’t thought I was absolutely needing a happy ending from them, but apparently I am. I need some payoff for all this drama and disgusting fungal growth. And even though all the rhythms and structure and clues felt like they were leading up to a happy ending (seriously, it would not fit the plot beats at all to kill them off or tear them apart) I didn’t fully feel like I could trust that.

I like the show, and continue to have many thoughts about it, but currently it’s feeling like a bit of a slog. 80% of that is my fruit fly’s worth of attention span right now, but also there is just a lot of Drama. Which is great in its way, but not really made for binging. I find myself telling the characters, "Or you could just try not being homophobic, you know. That’s always an option. And would solve 90% of your problems." I also kind of want to make one of these thick book/thin book memes, saying "To Sir With Love"/"To Sir With Love if everyone listened to Pin." She’s the only one who is both kind and has common sense.

Plus all the instantly-growing mushrooms that somehow sprout from green glitter and magically only land on the person they’re supposed to kill require a high level of suspension of disbelief. As do some of the wigs. But the actors all continue to impress, and handle both the ridiculous and the tragic with skill and convincing emotion.

I can’t remember if I’ve posted much about it on here yet or it’s all still in my drafts and notes, but I have so many thoughts about what this show is saying and doing. About homophobia of course, that’s the obvious one, but also about gender and misogyny and power, and ambitious women who’s only links to power are through men, and so pour all their ambitions into their sons. And also class, and master-servant relationships, and loyalty, duty and sacrifice, and conditional and unconditional love. And how the men with all the power can afford to seem kindly and benevolent, because they’re holding all the strings. And I think all of that’s in the script, whether intentionally or not, but the reason it comes through so strongly, even with all the ridiculousness, is the very strong and grounded performances from all the key actors (and yes I’m including Chan in that).

So anyways. Now I get a happy ever after for Jiu and Tian to look forward to. Yay! My only remaining wish is for a halfway decent kiss. I don’t need tongue or anything, just maybe a little movement of the lips, something more than a static pose with faces barely touching. It’s not a requirement, but it would be nice.

[sweetsoundsofignorance]

For the writing asks! 4, 17, 24 and 26 🖤

i'm going to limit most answers to fic.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

It’s a word you often use, scuttle, but not feral in a bad way. Somehow the word evokes something predatory in me, like the need to pounce.

Also, apoplectic.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

I guess I’ll talk about the one I’m currently posting? Only good things happen here started as a joke between you and me while we were slogging our way through the drivel that was season five of Riverdale.

Betty seemed very (sexually) repressed and always looked like she was itching to do violence, but the writers NEVER LET HER. They put a chainsaw in her hands, and then blue-balled us. Only good things happen here begins during the key party (they couldn’t have made it more boring, I agree), so at the time, Betty was only in a friend with benefits type situation with Archie (if I remember correctly?), but she still seemed pent-up, and she clearly hadn’t processed (good luck doing that with Archie) what happened with TBK (trash-bag-killer… god, grant me the serenity…). From where I was sitting, Betty seemed on the threshold of a psychotic break for the entirety of season five, so B was due.

And Jughead was such a sad and pathetic little meow meow who is also probably going through a dry spell (which I’ve seen is one current running theory in fandom, lol). I theorize that may be because he idealizes his relationship with Tabitha and/or he has severe sexual hang-ups from his toxic and hateful relationship with Jessica as well as his breakup with Betty, where she cheated on him with his best friend. I mean, that entire hallucinogen in the bunker suggested he is dealing with some larger issues sexually, in my opinion, especially since in his fantasy, it was high school Betty (still weird) and they talked about forgiveness. Also, he’s an alcoholic, and we all know how that can affect one’s sex drive, and he’s dealing with writer’s block, which is a blow to his ego. Idk, Jughead appeared to have lost his entire sense of self-agency in season five.

Anyway, clearly it seemed like these two were headed toward an explosion (I realize the irony of that now; in this story, it is not a literal explosion...)

Riverdale likes to pussy-foot around its darkness, and I’m predisposed to just pushing characters off the deep-end, so this story is one possible trajectory for season five that you were kind (crazy 🖤) enough to encourage me to write. I know it is a fucked-up way for both Betty and Jughead to process their trauma, sure, but I felt placing Jughead in a pit, and Betty by proxy, would create this sense of inescapable claustrophobia where they would have to confront and reconcile with the worst parts of themselves. There will be a ton of self-reflection, a lot of nastiness and resentment and trading barbs between the two, which will end with an explosion but also (hopefully) some cathartic self-actualization. This all feels very serious, but it is also supposed to be darkly humorous because it’s sassy little bitch Jughead up against a sadistic and psychotic Betty.

Crap, did I give it all away? I mean, I hope it was obvious based on the premise and the first chapter?

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

If you mean research, shit all. I often forgo prep work because most of my stories don’t require it. If it’s a period piece, I rarely go back farther than the 80s, so it’s pretty easy to pull enough period-perfect details because I’m more comfortable with those decades, especially pop-culture wise.

The only story that's required a lot of footwork is the cult fic, and that’s why it’s taking soooooo long because it necessitates more research, but it’s important to me that I get it right, the psychology, the methods of indoctrination, the process of deprogramming. This looks like a lot of reading (memoirs, fiction, philosophy, nonfiction) and documentaries. I’m dipping into books on the occult and pagan Christianity to develop the cult’s mythologies. I enjoy it because who doesn’t love learning new things, but I also just really want to get on with it orz.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I don’t know? I just sit with it. Music helps a lot. I’ll start with an action, whatever plot point, usually initiated by an antagonist, and then I imagine what emotion that might invoke in whatever character, the potential succession of emotions and predict the reactions and downstream consequences and how it snowballs from there. I never write it down, though, which I think counts as a demerit in my organization column, but it sort of looks like a flowchart in my head. I stew with the character in question, whatever traits I’ve given them, usually piecemeal aspects from canon, whichever ones I’ve chosen to amplify, and that helps dictate the flow of emotions and reactions, hence flowchart.

I struggle to get out. It’s why my stories often get away from me. You know how tumbleweeds eventually end up joining with other tumbleweeds and creating this gigantic tumbleweed that then piles up against an obstacle? But the tumbleweeds don’t stop, and they just keep piling on top of each other. You’ll see heaps of them accumulated against fences in empty lots. Idk, that’s the mental image I get, just a pile of tumbleweeds, and those fuckers are thorny, so sometimes there is much regret, me climbing over tumbleweeds to scale the obstacle, which is of course the exit out of the story.

I’ve explored some very dark topics in the devil’s daughter, delved into some psychologies that are immensely painful. It’s why sometimes I have to step away from it, if it starts infecting my day-to-day. It’s also why I struggle to respond to comments, especially right now, because just thinking about the ending makes me start ugly sobbing.

Thank you for asking 🖤🖤🖤 (remember tit for tat 😈)

[accidentalrabbit]

BEEF, CUPCAKES AND HIM

(short film)

Vietnam 2021

RANK: B

A-pairing: Huy x Thang

Other character(s) i enjoyed: Ngan

Overall review:

Oh she is CAMP, girls. This short-ish film is not here because it is particularly good but it is a good time. At least according to me.

Here's the gist of the plot: Huy gets fired from his job as a chef the same day his childhood neighbor Thang shows up at his house looking for a job. They used to not get along but now they need money, so they start a food delivery business with Huy's sister Ngan. Huy and Thang fall in love but Huy's old boss hates him so he teams up with Thang's homophobic mother to steal their recipes and split them up. But through the power of love and the internet, everything gets fixed and they live happily ever after. Standard.

The naïve camp here comes from the fact that this film spends so much runtime on meaningless narrative fragments that its characters sometimes feel like hollow ornamentations on the skeleton of a story, defined by their reactions to an implausible chain of events. What Beef, Cupcakes and Him lacks in good taste or quality, however, it makes up for in its blessedly short length, general good humor, and the fantasy of two cute guys and an internet-savvy girlboss starting a successful catering business. Love wins!

There are a few things about the film that do work. The actors are doing a competent job even if they definitely needed to reshoot a few moments. Huy and Thang are basically empty vessels of characters, but we get clear emotions from both of them at key points in the plot, and they do make a sweet couple. Ngan is very good at running an Instagram business and you know i love a girlboss. She is always in her bag and is the reason they get to keep living in that big empty ass house. The minor characters, with one tedious exception, are interesting additions to the plot insofar as their actions are most of what makes the plot happen.

But though i do enjoy the antics of its half-baked main characters, the thing that makes Beef, Cupcakes and Him truly worth watching is the indescribable feeling of watching Huy's boss seethe while a TV interviewer praises Huy's food as being tastier and more savory and less expensive than his food specifically. That scene alone justifies this whole project. I had to pause and cackle several times over because the writing here, intentionally or otherwise, is absolutely golden.

I had a good time, but:

No part of this viewing experience makes a terrible amount of sense and you need to just be okay with that. The interior set design is spartan, even by low-budget pandemic-era Vietnamese indie project standards. And the edit went with several takes that should not have been used, and so many scenes that needed either a hair more time or a lot less. In particular, keeping the shot where Huy and Thang fall on the bed in the most unnatural way possible was…a choice.

The title makes no sense in English, and i don't know enough about Vietnamese to understand why beef and cupcakes are mentioned in the title but aren't a major part of their catering business, if they are even present at all. If this actually makes sense, please let me know how.

Alright, this one's a doozy: The scene with the hysterical housewife who's prepared to off herself over her cheating husband is not very funny, and the plot halts here for what feels like ten full minutes. Who wrote this? And how did it make it to the final edit? Her presence actually makes Huy a much less enjoyable character because he spends the whole scene essentially yelling at her to pay for her delivery and stop being stupid. And then it's over and she never matters again?

Character(s) entitled to financial compensation: You already know. She has no purpose other than being berated and adds nothing to the narrative. Who wrote this into the script? Why is she here?

Conclusion: If it required more of a time commitment, Beef, Cupcakes and Him would be a slog. If it were a fraction more competent, it would not be nearly as fun to watch. If you're going in looking to develop strong attachments to well-developed characters, or if you need flawless production quality to stay tuned in, you should probably look elsewhere. But if, after those caveats, you're still down to see three twenty-somethings start a gay family business and get their happily ever after in under an hour, then this the short film for you.

Tune in next time to discuss the lesbian triumphs of Stupid Boys Stupid Love (2021), or: the difficulties of being an embarrassing heterosexual when all your friends are gay!

[sometimesiwrite]

Essi Daven: Character Reference

Aside from my own Headcanons and Theories concerning Essi Daven, I wanted to compile a character reference sheet for those of you who may want to write her or think about her independently from my own creative perspectives. This is, of course, still subjective, but I’ve linked my conclusions directly back to the source text and kept strictly to canon information for this. There is still conjecture, but that is largely where the role of fanfiction steps in. I hope you enjoy. Physicality

Right away, we see Essi as a blonde-haired, fine-featured, petite young woman. Nothing remarkable or extraordinary about her appearance aside from her eyes. As we come to know her more and more, it’s her behaviour and physical mannerisms rather than her appearance that make her more alluring as a  side character. Throughout this story, we see her “smile oddly”, “snear”, and on more than one occasion, she’s seen “defiantly” tossing her head (usually accompanied by blowing her lock out of her face).

On more than one occasion, she’s seen drawing her head to her shoulders. To me, this is not shyness or desire to hide. It is a turtling at times if she’s feeling particularly vulnerable or overwhelmed, but it’s also a very casual pose. On the terrace during the banquet, Geralt finds her leaning on her elbows with her shoulders hunched up looking at the water. She’s capable of poise and all the social graces required of a banquet, but when she has time to herself, she slouches, reverts to what’s comfortable, is a dork when she’s in her own head. Yet she “daintily” steps onto the pier to join Geralt the following morning. Based on this information, I put to you that she is someone whose eccentricity cannot be fully tamed by “refinement”.

We see more evidence of this in her handling of her “birthday present”:

At first, her reaction to the stinky mollusk is, “Yuk!” and she responds in a “typically dainty” way, holding the shell at arm’s length. That is, until she's given permission to like the shell. No longer socially “required” to find the smelly slimy ocean thing disgusting, Essi lets her more relaxed side out, pulling a knife from her belt (!), and dumping the insides out the window with the practical announcement that “the cats can eat it.” Her ability to turn 180° from “Ewwww” to “Oh, here, let me just shuck this with my casual waist-knife and chuck it out the window” makes for a high likelihood that she wasn’t that grossed out to begin with, but was rather performing societal expectations. 

This brings us to: 

Personality 

We’ve already touched on this a little, but I want to focus now on Essi’s personality, which is rather complex. One of the most general details about her personality, however, is in her speaking: she’s direct. Oftentimes blunt. Even if she’s feeling unsure, she’s not unsure of her words. She often says or asks things seemingly out of the blue, and doesn’t shy away from Depth in her conversation. Rather, it seems to be her comfort-zone, since she defaults to asking Geralt what he associates with the sea rather than making smalltalk. 

That last statement, that she’s neither calm nor composed, to me says a lot. She speaks what she feels, often more easily than what she thinks. And I suspect that she often experiences her thoughts as feelings—something that comes from her gut rather than her head which is reserved for biting wit and incisive observation. 

Essi knows people. Knows them well enough to push their buttons, either jokingly or politically. She’s not afraid of authority, and even though her emotions fill her entirely—to the point her hands will shake—they do not render her helpless to them; rather, it seems, her emotions fuel her rhetorical capacity. Being a bard, this makes sense since the language of song and poetry are driven by the dialogue between emotion and intellect. 

Moreover, she speaks what she feels to be the truth of her experience, whether it’s her experience of someone else, or her experience of herself. What she believes to be true (however subjectively) she speaks. And if she doesn’t know something, she asks and bluntly: 

The fact that she “blanches” yet doesn’t stumble over her words here tells me she’s an excellent performer, and reinforces my previous comment that while her emotions fill her, they don’t rule over her. And yet, we also know she is impulsive and impetuous from her conversation with Geralt on the terrace: 

In this exchange, we see one of Essi’s most fascinating self-contradictions at play. She claims not to know how to control herself, says she is impetuous, reactive (the next morning she bluntly admits to being “nosey” and owns it). And yet her ability to recognize and acknowledge her lack of self-control indicates a depth and a level of self-awareness that reinforces my previous statement that she experiences life as a series of feelings—impulses, emotions, “vibes”—more than what we would categorize as “thoughts”. Essi doesn’t have an internal monologue; she has an external monologue of whatever internal experiences make their way into a verbal headspace. She’s not one to prattle on, talk for the sake of talking (like some Other Bards we know) because even though she has a lot going on internally, only some of it will ever make its way into words.  

As demure, dainty, and fragile as Essi seems to be, she also has, as Dandelion puts it, “a dark side”. 

Exactly what that is, we never really learn, but we get a glimpse of it from Geralt’s perspective at the banquet:

What did she say? While we may not be meant to ever know the answer, we know that a) Essi was smug about it; and b) whatever it was was cutting and more than likely sexually demoralizing in nature. 

Which brings us to…

Sexuality and Romance

There are several instances throughout A Little Sacrifice that indicate a level of sexual maturity and confidence in Essi that contrast interestingly with her emotional naivety (which I’ll get to in a moment). 

It’s possible, in this instance, that Essi simply doesn’t not abide by the same “rules” about physical boundaries and various social meanings behind physical touch. This moment is certainly not enough to draw any conclusions one way or another. However, the description of her kiss with Geralt on the terrace is less ambiguous in this way, more ambiguous in another.

I first want to fully acknowledge that this scene is a mess of different signals, and I believe the lack of further insight on the part of the author is not intriguing, but lazy. But I digress. She kisses him eagerly and expertly, which suggests that she, mechanically at least, knows what she’s doing with her face and someone else’s. The fact that she distances the rest of her body from Geralt suggests a few things: a) she wants to kiss Geralt but doesn’t know whether he feels the same way, so doesn’t want to commit fully; b) she knows that Geralt doesn’t know why he’s kissing her, and so is trying to distance herself from him so that neither of them makes a mistake; c) she’s caught off-guard and doesn’t mind having a good smooch but doesn’t want him to get the wrong idea about her wanting anything else; d) all of the above. 

I would include the possibility that she feels threatened by him and is merely going through the motions, but there’s enough evidence before and after to refute that as a forefront possibility. That’s not to say it isn’t in the background, but the use of “eagerly” would suggest that she’s enthusiastic about a little lip action. We do know that she’s not “looking for a man for the night” from the end of their conversation before going back inside. 

I have a few headcanons about Essi’s sexuality and I shuffle back and forth between them depending on the day. There’s enough evidence to support a halfhearted claim that Essi is a virgin (which doesn’t inherently negate the evidence for sexual confidence), but I lean more toward the notion that Essi is sexually experienced (thought likely far less than Dandelion), picky (hence the red-eared young man at the banquet), and romantically inexperienced. There is, I will say, a level of modesty, vulnerability, and hesitation in her interactions with Geralt that lead me to believe she has had minimal directly-sexual encounters. 

Is it projecting to say she reminds me a lot of myself in my early-20s? Yes. But to say this character resonates very strongly with my personal experiences, I think, gives some character insight where information and road signs are lacking from the author. And I will say, it is very in-keeping with Essi’s ongoing self-contradictions to be both bawdy and sexually inexperienced. Her canon story arc, unfortunately, doesn’t allow us to imagine her a few years older, but the idea of a more confident, self-assured Essi at 23/24 makes me very happy. 

Now, I’m not going to slog through the dialogue disaster that is Essi’s emotional outpouring to Geralt, but suffice it to say, it’s clear she’s never been infatuated/in love before, though she is clearly a romantic. She hates the feeling of being in love, hates that it turns her needy, hates the way it makes her skin crawl and her stomach churn. But there’s something appealing about it as well, and I think there’s a part of her that is desperate to make love. Regardless of whether or not she’s sexually active, to me it’s clear that she wants an emotional-physical connection of some kind; she seeks out comfort from Geralt, seeks out affection, tenderness, but she is also seeking an emotional return—the little sacrifice that Geralt cannot find within himself to give. If she’s had bedmates in the past, it would be remiss to call them lovers. 

That’s it, folks! That’s all I’ve got for the time being. As always, questions and observations are welcome (as well as disagreements as long as you’re willing to do it nice and polite like). 

[heavyarethecrowns]

Are we detecting signs that the Middleton family don’t know how to behave? - Dec 2010

A half-baked brother, some seamy connections, and high social ambitions may not be what we need  in a Royal princess. The Slog investigates.

If like me you loathe all the Royalty obsession and emotional bollocks that goes with the media/Windsors relationship, I beg you not to turn away from this article. Although I am a Royalist, I don’t think much to a Royal family which sets an awful example, and I regret the way in which the Windsors have listened to foolish advice about democratising the way they work. (I may be one of the few people who watched the movie The Queen, and agreed with pretty much everything Prince Philip’s character said.)

Much of the Royal family’s horribilis of late stems from unsuitable marriages to commoners. I don’t see this as a coincidence. I view it rather as giving in to yet another lazy assumption in contemporary life: that because people have led a monied life, they necessarily understand the duty and discretion that is required of joining the family of the Head of State. In my experience, the diametric opposite is often the case.

I’m bound to report that one can’t help feeling – after digging around a bit – that there might be something ever so grubby about Kate Middleton’s family, and its attitude to teaming up with royalty.

As long ago as 2008, Kate sorry Katherine’s brother James was quick to use Hello! as a conduit for his cake-making company, while stressing his connection to the House of Windsor. I understand Her Majesty was less than amused about this. Indeed, there are those who would suggest that James was absent when the feck was being handed out. He is a University dropout once photographed by an Aussie gossip magazine urinating against somebody’s fence while apparently tipsy. He also did a stint selling with Forestry For Life, an unregulated investment company flogging things which – some truculent clients allege – it didn’t own. To be more precise, the company sold a carbon credits/rain-forest land scheme to about 50 clients, taking in at least £1.25 million; the problem was, the credits weren’t up and running, and the company allegedly didn’t own the land specified.

The company is now the subject of an FSA investigation, and faces dissolution by Companies House because of failure to file legally-required documents. When The Slog rang them yesterday, however, FFL sounded open for business. Boss Matt Ames was there – but sadly, too involved in meetings to come to the phone. Although the company’s website has been ‘under development’ since the FSA investigations began, it used to boast that the Board was ‘headed by Sir Rodney Walker’ – a well known and largely respected sports entrepreneur. But Sir Rodney emphatically told The Slog “I am not the Chairman, although I was approached”.

The Slog spoke today to the FSA’s Chris Hamilton, who confirmed that “Active investigations into Forestry For Life are ongoing….although we understand that Mr Middleton is no longer associated with the company”. Some time back, the enthusiastic writ-issuing legal firm Carter-Ruck told the media that James Middleton’s association with FFL was short-term and that he was ‘not formally employed’ by the company. His informal employment did, however, stretch to working on FFL’s exhibition stand at a recent eco-event:

James Middleton (r) working in an informal capacity for FSA-investigated Forestry for Life

Pippa Middeton gave her first media interview just a fortnight before the announcement of her sister’s engagement, which one suspects she knew was imminent. She used much of the encounter to remorselessly plug the family business of selling party accessories. Says a friend of the Middletons, “Michael and Carole have hugely ambitious plans for Party Pieces. They see the engagement and their daughter’s new status as a giant step on that road”. They also see Pippa as the natural successor to take the business on into the next generation: the younger daughter has already launched an internet magazine spin-off.

“The Royal family is very keen to ensure that the wedding is not seen as a business opportunity for the Middletons and their associates,” a courtier allegedly told the Telegraph’s Mandrake last month. But that is a nonsense: the Royal wedding is going to be one big national Party – they are bound to benefit.

Both Ms Middleton and her parents have already shown they’re not exactly squeaky clean when it comes to plugs for the family business Party Pieces. Speaking as ‘Kate [not Katherine] from Party pieces’, the future Princess offered tips for hosting perfect parties on PP’s website as late as March this year. The post was removed the following day, but doing it in the first place shows an appalling lack of judgement.

Katherine’s parents Michael and Carole Middleton represent new money. They founded Party Pieces in 1987, and it has turned them into millionaires. Before that, Carole was an air stewardess, and Michael a pilot. Carole’s Dad was a lorry driver, and her mum a shop assistant….indeed, that side of the family are variously described as clerks, labourers and joiners going back some 150 years: Edward Thomas Glassborough, for example, was born in Shoreditch – but in 1881 he was residing at Her Majesty’s Pleasure in Holloway Prison.

Interestingly, there is a John Ward (great great great great grandfather) in the Middleton family tree, born in 1838, and listed as a hatter. My lot were indeed costumiers at the time, but as I recall the family head was called Felix. Later we went into bedsteads, and later still on the buses. My point here is that I’m not being an insufferable snob about the Middletons: I’m merely pointing out that, like me, they don’t seem to know the ropes about being royal.

Talking of Carole, for instance, one of William’s Eton set described her in 2007 as  “pushy, rather twee and incredibly middle class”. She made a major gaffe early on in the relationship when, during Prince William’s passing-out parade at Sandhurst, Mrs Middleton chewed gum incessantly while with the Royal party. Perhaps it is a urban myth, but the Middleton matriarch is reported to have told her daughter to study at St Andrews “so you can meet Prince William”.

I value what the Royal Family ought to stand for –  if only because the French are insanely jealous of us for having one. The last thing the Windsors need right now is more Sarah Ferguson and Prince Edward vulgarity. I can’t help thinking that the ghastliness of money-obsession needs to be kept out of Buckingham Palace for good and all. And in that sense – as my very ordinary mother used to say – they should stick to marrying those who know how to behave.

There’s nothing remotely wrong with making money and creating employment – I’m all for it. But there are few sights less edifiying than watching people climbing the north face of social demography in a bid to plant their flag among the highest in the land. Joining the high-ups demands a strong sense of the behavioural duty that goes with that state: to be Number One is a goal the same as any other, but looking after Number One is not the way to grace the position…and be admired in it. Kate Middleton still has a lot to learn before she can be Princess Katherine.

[rdr2dd]

Goals, Moving Forward, Etc.

Because I’ve gotten a few comments/questions asking about the other projects I’ve mentioned, and also for the purpose of giving myself some clear goals to work toward, I want to nail down the direction(s) that this project is probably headed. Excuse the gratuitous detail, but as is likely becoming clear from my posts, that’s how I work best :p

Project 1: Arthur’s Hidden Family

Goal 1: Finding Eliza -

Accomplished, largely, so hurrah for that. There was a lot of background work to get to this point, even beyond the details I gave in the most recent post about it, so I am beyond glad to have finally gotten it done. This step has already laid a lot of the groundwork for future steps. And also, I’m just happy to finally have a face for her.

Goal 2: Conjuring up Isaac - No progress thus far, but I’ve done some planning on how I want to handle this. No files exist for Isaac, at least not that I’ve been able to find thus far, so any models/textures for him would be entirely non-canon/custom work. There’s no element of bringing hidden assets to light here, like there was with Eliza; having a workable model for Isaac would be purely for my own heart’s sake, and for the sake of being able to do fanart renders involving him. This probably involves:

Using Jack (4 yrs old) as a base model, as I’m not talented or experienced enough to sculpt these models from scratch. Facial features would need to be altered to find a resemblance to both Arthur and Eliza.

Digging through the files to see if there are even other young children in the game to draw assets from - Arthur Londonderry’s son comes to mind, but I’m not sure if he’s the right age range, and I’m honestly drawing a blank beyond that. If anyone remembers seeing any kids in the game, please drop me a note as to where you saw them. 

Possibly resizing/altering adult NPC assets such as hairstyles in order to give Isaac a fitting and unique appearance. This sounds like a headache, but may be reasonable enough to do. We shall see.

Lots of custom texture work, largely for his face, which will be especially hard/dicey if there aren’t other children’s models to borrow textures from. 

Goal 3: Finding the Time - Less technical and more research-oriented, I need to nail down a timeline that I’m personally happy with with regards to when in Arthur’s life the events with Eliza and Isaac occurred. Once this is done, it’ll make it easier to decide what to do with Arthur in any renders I may want to do with the three of them. Which ties into...

Project 2: The Old Guard (Expanded)

This was the project I originally had in mind when I started scrounging around for these files. I have an unreasonably huge soft spot in my heart for the ‘curious couple and their unruly son’, but also, just the young gang in general. Hosea back when he’d steal anything not nailed down? Dutch, young and idealistic and years before his downfall? Arthur, young and broody but not yet hardened? Little John, still feral and a menace? Badass, gorgeous young Grimshaw? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes, please. Not to mention Bessie and Annabelle, who must have mattered so much to these characters, but who we hear and see so little about. I want to be able to do fanart renders with them, but that’s going to take a hell of a lot of work.

Goal 1: Nail Down the Timeline - I’ve started working on this, but there’s a lot I still need to do in terms of skimming audio files and digging deep in the lore. I want to get a general idea of when it seems folks joined the gang, that way I can get an idea of which models I even need to work with. Heavy focus on figuring out: 

When Tilly joined the gang, as I lean toward her being around quite early, but would like to review the audio. I know there are some numbers dropped in a few missions, with regards to when she joined the Foreman Brothers and when she left them to join the Van der Linde Gang, and I want to get this as accurate as possible. 

When Hosea went off with Bessie, and when she passed. We have some context clues, I just need to nail down the math and then feel out the dramatic timing for the rest.

What the deal was with Annabelle. Maybe I just have a passion for the ladies name-dropped once in the game, but good god do I love Annabelle despite knowing absolutely nothing about her. She should be a non-character, but this is a passion project, so there’s no way I’ll be ignoring her.

What to do about Sean. He couldn’t have joined until after 1889, but depending on what year I want to deal with for renders, I may need to account for him. That wouldn’t be a hardship, as he’s one of my faves.

Goal 2: Knock Out the “Easy” Models - By which I mean Hosea, Dutch, Arthur, and Susan. This will involve some custom sculpting work, but not a whole lot, as their base models for 1899 shouldn’t actually require that much alteration. I imagine I’ll be ironing out a bunch of wrinkles, smoothing out a bunch of normal maps, and then using the clone brush and a sampling of generic NPC face textures in order to create younger-looking face textures for this lot. “Easy” is definitely a relative term here, but I’m counting my blessings in that there are, at the very least, reference images for what this lot looked like in the early days. I still have no idea if I’ll be able to accomplish this, or how hard it will be if I can.

Goal 3: John - An intermediate difficulty step, for John alone. We have no reference images of young, 12/13 year old John, but we do have Jack’s 12 yr old model, and that will serve as a decent base to work from, hopefully. I’ll have to make sure to alter his features to be more in line with John’s, and will have to work heavily with his skin/face textures from there. Clothes will be another hurdle, especially as (referenced above), we see like, next to no children in the game for me to borrow NPC clothing parts from. I’ll need to work with what we get from Jack and otherwise resize and rework adult NPC clothing.

Goal 4: Bessie (and Others) - Stepping up the workload again, though in different ways. Bessie will be a task to work out, seeing as we have a single, not particularly great reference image of her facing straight ahead. It’s not much to work with, but it’s something to work toward matching. No two ways around it, she’ll be mostly custom work and mash-ups of generic NPC materials, but it’ll be a labor of love. Also sliding Tilly and (potentially) young Sean in here, as depending on their age there will be a lot of work to do on them, possibly including custom model work, and we don’t have references for what they looked like when they were younger. I’ll make do.

Goal 5: Annabelle - The holy grail in terms of custom work, or the ultimate slog uphill, we shall see. We have no reference images of her. No traces of her exist in the files. We hardly have any clue about how she died, let alone how she lived. And yet, I love her, or at least the potential of her. Hopefully all of my work on the ‘known’ quantities of this project will give me some hope of turning out a unique and fitting model for her, but who knows.

Project 3: Audio Directory

Goal ??? - On pause for the foreseeable future, mostly as I’ll need to do some networking before I’m totally comfortable putting this out there, and also because holy hell have I set up a bunch of other work for myself. The Dream(TM) was to find a way to set up a directory for folks to more easily find audio files on their own. There’s no way to host all of the assorted cool audio from RDR2 online, but it would theoretically be possible to set up a sort of file directory online, a list of file names and descriptions, to help folks browse their audio files on their own without having to reinvent (or in this case, rediscover) the wheel personally. I’m of the opinion that pulling apart the game files should be an all-hands-on-deck sort of situation, but there are a lot of folks who have already put in this work individually, and I don’t want to step on any toes. I also don’t want to be responsible for anyone mucking around with their game files and having trouble down the road, so I’d need to sort out a clear explanation of what precautions to take, etc. It’s a lot to consider, so I’m obviously open to input. 

Wrap-Up

If you’re still reading, congrats(?) and also, thank you. This is all a bunch of planning for some real pie-in-the-sky shit, but I felt that way about finding Eliza in the files about two months ago, so I have hope. If you’ve got thoughts on any step, please, hit me! I want to hear what folks want to see, though I can’t make any promises on what I’ll deliver. Got thoughts on the timeline or headcanons for the less-referenced characters? I’d love to hear. I would also love to hear from anyone with experience on projects like this; goodness knows I’m a self-taught novice.