#like without capitalization and proper uh things

[kittylittersmoothie]

✨ Latest Fic Update: ✨

why is this chapter two rewrite DEFEATING ME.

why am i so STUCK.

am i LOSING my writing abilities.

DID I EVER HAVE ANY.

AM I GARBAGE.

[baji-sideblog]

Flowers and Guns

Cw reader’s hand gets hurt, sexual harassment, alludes to dub con/non con in the end

❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀

You’re new to this city, Lav Amoria, the capital of Cherubs. Every building around was built with the idea of trees in mind. A cylinder of concrete that branched off to hold office buildings, homes, and everything else. They’re still buildings on the ground though they’re typically small businesses or apartment complexes. Plus a couple of buildings for tourists. There is one thing that is everywhere though lights! Lots of gorgeous lights and signs everywhere.

You just moved here a few days ago, looking for a new start on life. And so far it’s been a struggle the job you got here fired you on your first day. For no real reason besides apparent budget cuts. Leaving you to walk around looking for a potential place hiring. As you walk around you spot a small flower shop it looks pretty empty, but you need a job. Taking a deep breath you walk over and enter the shop. The flowers are pretty decent if not bland, like no one really put any thought into the stock. The decor was ok, overall it’s just a bland store.

“Um hello? Is anyone here?”

You stand by the register waiting for anyone to come out. You really hope you’re not just breaking it, the door is unlocked so they should be open. Hopefully.

As your mind races about the potential breaking in you may or may not have committed, the back door swings opens and a cherub with peacock feathers gets tossed out of it.

“Johnny I swear to the gods, if you don’t fix up your mess you’re going to be swimming in your own blood,” a huge muscular chubby man walks out after him, a fat cigar in his mouth.

The first thing you notice about him is his cherub and incubus traits. His antlers look like deaths hands ready to strangle a person.

“I’ll fix it boss, I’ll fix it I promise,” Johnny stands up dusting himself off.

You slowly take a step back, but the ‘boss’ lifts up his hand pointing at you without looking.

“Hold it toots, what brings you to our uh little shop of ours.”

“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting anything! I was just looking for a job,” you squeak out scared.

“Well there’s no job here so get the fu-“

The boss dust his cigar ash onto Johnny’s head making him yelp and try to shake it off.

“Excuse his behavior sweet thing, he has no manners,” he walks closer to you, “We have been looking for a proper cashier for the business. My other employees are busy with other jobs. So having a good looking face like yourself here to front for the store would be good.”

He leans down to meet your face, his eyes empty of any emotion besides a sick type of joy. He takes a drag off his cigar before blowing the smoke into your face, making you cough and wheeze. What did you get into.

“I uh, I don’t know…”

He slams his claw hand onto the wall behind you blocking off the door, “Come now, don’t be like that. You’ll be paid decently all you have to do is run the shop and tell us if anyone tries snooping around. This job is something you can’t just refuse, if you catch my drift.”

You gulp and nod, “W-When do I start?”

“Today, since Johnny has to go clean up something. You’ll be needed right away.” He reaches on the top of your head and plucks something. Pulling it over to his nose you can see it’s a purple thought flower, fear. “Thanks for the meal, sweet thing.”

He eats the flower and grabs your arm, firmly pulling you to the cash register. He signals to the peacock cherub to get the fuck out, which he quickly does.

“Now little thing, you know how to work this right?”

Looking down at the cash register you see it’s an older one, they probably got for cheap with a card reader attachment that looks like it could break any second. At least the buttons on it are simple to read and use.

You nod making the man smile, “Good now I don’t got to worry about training you. And here by the way you’ll need this.”

He hands you a little black book inside it is filled with photos of cops and their names.

“Any of these guys come in press the button under the desk, if they try coming towards the back you spam it like your life depends on it. Cause well it does. If you try to pull anything or run, my boys will find you and you’ll regret testing me,” he grabs your left hand pulling it close to him, and he dusts his cigar ash onto it. You whine and whimper feeling the ash burn against your skin till he blows it off of you, “Wouldn’t want to burn that precious little face of yours now would we?”

You shake your head no, and he tightens his grip on your left hand bruising it.

“Use your words.”

“No, sir.”

“Good job, sweet thing. You deserve a prize,” he lets go of your hand, walking over to the cabinet behind you pulling out an apron with a flower on the front and the name of the store, “Here you go, your new work apron.”

He puts it on you and ties a bow in the back. Taking a step back he examines you closely, before a frown goes across his face. He grabs a nearby rose and removes the thorns, then he tucks the flower between your hair and ear.

“Perfect now you look more like a proper florist. Give me a spin.”

You try to hide the confuse look on your face, as you do what he says, spinning for him.

“Avebu, avebu.”

“Avebu?”

“Avebu. Now be good and man the register. I’ll be working in the back. Do not enter it.”

“Yes sir.”

You can see his tail feathers flicker hearing you call him sir, “You’re learning fast sweet thing. I can use someone with decent behavior like yours. Especially someone who’s easy to train. Tell me what’s your life like?”

Hesitantly you explain your life to him answering any and all questions he ask.

“You keep getting better and better, you’re such a normal person. A normal person like you, will make the prefect cover for me. Even with many people in my pocket, it’s best to always have some extra protection,” he puts his hands on your hips bring you closer to him, “You’ll be my fiancé, my little dear who just moved here to be with me. And now works with me cause why wouldn’t you help your future husband with his little flower business. And before you try to argue with me about it. You don’t have a choice not if you want to keep your tongue.”

His feathered hands trail down and grab your ass fondling you. You look away uncomfortable till he finally lets you do, stepping into the back. You let out a breath and lay against the counter.

“I shouldn’t have ever come here.”

The day goes by slow, but as soon as it hit 4 pm and he let you go. You book it back to your apartment and lock the door. Collapsing on your bed for the day.

You hear banging on your door waking you up with a startle. Grabbing your phone you check the time seeing it’s 7:30 am you must have passed out last night. Getting up you open the front door to see a secretary bird cherub standing there. Her long white hair covers frames her face perfectly, as if she’s made from marble.

“Oh hello. May I help you?”

“Yeah, my uncle wanted to make sure you came to work on time.”

“Your uncle…oh”

“Yeah. Come on pipsqueak, get dress so we can get going,” she grabs your shoulders and push you to your room to change, “and don’t try climbing out the window, I’ve been given permission to shoot your legs.”

After a few minutes mostly constantly of panicking internally, you step out in some clothes and your apron. The woman examines you before pointing to your head.

“Your flower that’s apart of the uniform as well.”

You grab it off your side table and she puts it in your apron pocket. Saying it’s her uncles orders for you not to put it on yourself. She drags you to her car and drives to the flower shop. It’s very awkward the silence and the fact she has permission to shoot you. Plus you don’t want to see that man..especially not after he grabbed your ass.

“…so how are you two related?”

She gives you a side glare making you shut your mouth tightly.

“I’m going to get shot.”

“He’s my dad’s brother,” she sighs out, “His death was sudden but not surprising in this line of business. My uncle took me in after his death.”

“I see, I’m sorry about your loss,” you don’t know what else to say.

She nods and stares back at the road, parking in front of the store. When you two step inside you spot the boss waiting for you by the cash register.

“Ah, Patty thank you for bringing them here,” he ruffles her hair and she swats his hand away. Before trying to fix it.

“Tu avey cautus,” she starts walking to the back, “Ik tu vesta tu, captas tu.”

“Gralus.”

When she closes the door the boss turns to you holding out his hand expectantly. You blink confused till you realize he wants the flower. Quickly taking it out placing it in his hand. He hums and tucks the flower between your ear and hair like yesterday.

“Avebu. Now open up shop, and remember if anyone in the book appears press the button.”

“Yes sir.”

He hides his tiny smirk and walks into the back. You get everything ready for the day and serve the one or two customers that drop by. Most of your time is spent by yourself, cleaning up to distract yourself. Trying to ignore the unshakable feeling of dread that surrounds you.

Hours pass by with no one coming in, your lunch break is almost here in about ten minutes. You’re in the middle of wiping down a shelf when you hear the door open. Rushing back to the desk, you look at the potential customer who came in. He seems familiar, opening the black book, you try to keep a poker face realizing the man is a cop. Officer Graham, he looks like he’s been around the block. You press the button under the desk panic filling your heart. You don’t want to get in trouble with the law, but you also rather not get murdered by your boss.

Graham walks over to you, “Hello, I haven’t seen you around here before.”

“Oh uh yeah, I just moved here.”

“Hm, and you so happen to work here?”

“I just uh it was the only job that would have me.”

He stares deeply into your eyes, till his face relaxes and he sighs, “I see. A word of advice you better be careful out and about the city. Even in this time of peace, some of us cherubs still have a want for bloodshed. And those who should know better have been letting those who shouldn’t have free rein. I don’t want you or any other innocent folk getting caught in this mess. They’ll turn a blind eye to anything these days sadly.”

You nod letting out a shaky breath, “Thank you…I, I thought this place would be safe..”

“I know, many people do. They do their best to hide the mess to not ruin tourism…if you need anything you can call me,” He hands you his number, “Day or night I’ll be there. You’re a good egg I can tell.”

You tear up a little bit from his kindness, a part of you just wants to break down and tell him everything that’s happening so he can save you.

“If your boss here does anything sketchy you can make a difference by coming forward, even the higher ups won’t be able to deny the truth.”

“Officer Graham, you’re not bothering my fiancé now are you?” your boss walks up behind you putting his hand on your hip. His grip on you is tight and uncomfortable, “Don’t make me kick you out for scaring them with all your conspiracy junk. They’re a delicate flower, and a man’s gotta protect what’s his. But what would you know about that.”

You force your mouth shut looking away, trying not to shiver and squirm away from the boss’s touch. No matter how much you want to run from his grip, you know it’s no use.

“You shut your mouth Wolfgang. You’re not allowed to talk to me like that. And they can speak for themself.”

“Heh, you forget this isn’t your property. And as their fiancé I can say what is good for them. And if you going to harass my dear or me, I have full rights to kick you out. And there’s nothing you can do about that. What will it be, officer?”

Graham growls at Wolfgang his feathers puffing up. You shrink back scared something bad is going to happen you don’t want to get hurt. Graham’s eyes glance to you and seeing your fear the man huffs backing off.

“Fine, I’m onto you. And you, you better take care and consider who you’re going to ‘marry.’” Graham walks out of the shop leaving you alone with the boss.

Wolfgang spins you around and slams you against the counter his arms trapping you, “Hand me his card now.”

You do, your hands shaking at your salvation being stolen from you. He grabs the card ripping it to pieces tossing it in the trash can.

“You’re never allowed to speak to that man again. I can’t have my sweet little fiancé get tangled up with anyone or become a rat. Especially when you’re my cover,” he takes off one of his rings and a fancy ribbon from the counter. Making a makeshift necklace he puts it on you, “I’ll get you a proper engagement ring soon, sweet thing. For now this will do. I can’t have anyone thinking you’re up for grabs.”

Wolfgang looks around and walks over to the front door locking it and pulls down the blinds blocking any peeping eyes.

“Everyone already left through the back, which means we’re by ourselves for a good two hours. Nows a better time than ever to start teaching you how to be a good fiancé for me,” he grabs your shoulders forcing you onto your knees, “You’ll be expected to fulfill all the real duties of a spouse. Let’s start with getting you use to using that throat or yours.”

❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀

Avebu-beautiful

Tu avey cautus-they’re good cover

Ik tu vesta tu, captas tu-if you want them, take them

Gralus-thank you

❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ ❀

[janmisali]

the official jan Misali styleguide

so uh I decided to compile together a bunch of rules that I've come up with over the years for myself for how I write videos. this is not comprehensive and is unlikely to be genuinely useful to anyone (very few of these are things I'd consider to be "good advice" for anyone else who wants to make videos, they're mostly just how I personally do things), but here we go anyway!

text

text should be typeset in Noto Serif by default, using other fonts for their specific aesthetic effects on a case by case basis, always presented in contrast with Noto Serif

text should be white, on a black background, with keywords highlighted in teal (#008472)

text should use justified margins, unless this looks bad or is too hard to do with the specific program being used

the pronoun "I" should always be capitalized

proper names should usually be capitalized, but may be left in lowercase to convey a less formal tone when appropriate

the name "jan Misali" should be written with a lowercase "jan" and a capitalized "Misali", following toki pona capitalization conventions (and in general, all toki pona text should follow toki pona capitalization conventions, only capitalizing proper names)

brand names with irregular capitalization such as "YouTube" should always be in lowercase ("youtube") as a sign of disrespect

words may be capitalized for Emphasis, but this should be avoided sentence-initially

avoid capitalization for any other purpose (such as sentence capitalization or all caps) unless this is done to imitate a specific style meant to contrast with the default Misalian style

in addition to the aforementioned teal-coloring and capitalization, words may also be marked as emphasized using italics

these three styles of emphasis should be used for different purposes: teal for keywords (emphasis primarily to aid in reading), italics for spoken stress ("normal emphasis"), and capitalization for the Other Kind (meant to get the reader to slow down and pay attention to the Specific Wording of the emphasized section, but without drawing immediate visual attention to it in the way teal text does)

punctuation should only be used when it is strictly necessary for the text to be parsed or when it conveys meaningful information about how the text would be read out loud (the apostrophe does not count as punctuation for the purpose of this recommendation; it is included as part of the spelling of words it appears in)

the word "amateur" should be spelled "amature" without explanation

numbers should be written out in full as words, unless they're being used for alphanumeric codes, entries in a numbered list, years, or a video about math

text should be written word for word as it would be pronounced out loud, including filler words ("um"s and "like"s) and contractions, following the manner of speech outlined in the next section

narration

everything should be written in a formal but conversational tone, with hesitations, filler words, and stutters carefully inserted to make it sound less "written", as though the narration is one continuous unscripted infodump

however, nothing should ever genuinely be unscripted. everything should be phrased very carefully to convey information precisely and efficiently in a way that is easy to understand

there should be some sort of attempt to pronounce non-english words authentically, especially with proper names (unless there exists a common-enough anglicized pronunciation that you can be confident is more likely to be understood)

nothing should be written in a way that assumes that the audience knows less about the subject matter of the video than the narrator, except in very rare cases where this assumption is appropriate (such as when using an explicitly educational style, or when the subject is so niche that acting as though everyone already knows about it would be actively detrimental). information should always be presented as though it's a recap of common knowledge ("right?"), something that the narrator only learned relatively recently ("apparently"), or something that the narrator is unsure of ("I think")

jokes should never get "in the way" of the actual video. they should serve a purpose just like everything else. (the key question to keep in mind here is "if someone doesn't find this funny, what could they take away from it instead?". the answer should be something like "it would just be information presented in an unusual way" or "it would just be an awkward transition between two unrelated topics" or something. if the answer is "nothing, it would just be a joke they're not getting" then it had better be a really funny joke to justify its existence.)

calls to action should be avoided. the video should respect its audience members to make decisions for themselves, and only directly tell them what to do in exceptional circumstances

[gwyndolindo]

there are a lot of tragic characters in elden ring (pretty much everyone lol) but godwyn exudes a kind of Shakespearean tragedy that just makes me feel so bad for him

godwyn the... betrayed

do you guys remember that trend? jupiter was supposed to be a star but failed?

alexa, play the old doll audio

i'll be talking a lot about godwyn so uh big words trigger warning i guess

Godwyn the Golden, the first child of Godfrey and Queen Marika the Eternal and also the first Demigod known to ever perish.

He was the first descendant of the Golden Line and one of his traits is *literally* being friends with dragons.

Whenever he's mentioned, grief is involved. Both the grief of a Mother and the grief of the people.

He was part of the Golden Order, but we know for a fact he was no maniac for its fundamentals, given the genuine bond he had with Fortissax, for example.

I know we can't really Know this stuff but come on, Godwyn seemed like a certified Big Bro™. He gives the feeling of how pure a person should be. Royal blood – of the purest kind! From the lore we have of him, it appears that he really was The ideal prince.

I like to believe he was particularly fond of the Omen Twins and that, even though they grew up in completely opposite worlds from each other, he was always sort of There. Better than Marika, that's for sure. Just imagine big bro Godwyn taking his baby bros for a tour around the capital. They spend the entire day running around and Godwyn looks so peaceful that the twins can't help but feel that too, if only for a moment.

Not to mention the tender relationship he probably had with the cursed twins.

When Godwyn's spirit was slayed during the Night of the Black Knives, he received a fate worse than death itself: the curse of living in Death.

He who should be crowned golden as the Lord among them all was crowned in ruin as the Prince of Death.

Godwyn will not only never die, but he will never live again. His existence is a terror that punishes the roots of the Erdtree, a thing that not even Miquella was able to stop or help in any way.

This once sweet and kind and beautiful lord is now nothing but a creature spreading across the land.

When both Miquella and Fortissax failed to give him a proper death and rest, what then remained of his body was laid under the roots of the Erdtree. A bit fair, isn't it? First of the Demigod, ruined and buried under the Erdree, where he will slowly but certainly cause destruction and despair all across the land, bringing death to all it touches.

It kills me that the place where he's buried is so dark and lonely and scary. The Godwyn before the Rune of Death was assured to have dozens if not hundreds of statues and paintings and churches and whatever to honor him.

But Godwyn the Golden ceased to exist. There's no one left to adore or admire or cherish. The only thing left is Godwyn the Prince of Death.

He's now worshipped by the undead, Those Who Live in Death, as D calls them. Is there a more tragic end for a royal who was once beloved all across a golden capital?

The only way to change his fate is to make things even WORSE.

Restore the Elden Ring with the Rune of Death and he supposedly comes back again, but. Oh. My. Fucking. God. I would literally go fucking insane if I first opened my eyes to the world I cherished and grew up on completely destroyed by MYSELF without my damn consent.

If he became Prince of Death by his own choice? Fucking sexy. I would support him. SLAY (literally).

But this? My man was ROBBED.

Imagine being "reborn" (in death) and realizing that EVERYONE from your life is dead. The place where you ran around as a kid? Fucking demolished, DIRTY with ashes. ASHES OF DEAD PEOPLE.

AND YOU'RE THEIR MONARCH.

There's NOTHING to rule and most of all THERE'S NOTHING TO PROTECT.

Literally the worst thing that could happen to a dude.

look what the fuck they did to my baby holy shit there truly wasn't enough room for a blonde twink in the lands between was there

Ohh... Oh,  Lord Godwyn... Such cruelty, such humiliation... My poor, sweet lordling should have died a true death. As the first of the demigods to die. As a martyr to Destined Death. But why must it yet bring such disgrace? A scion of the golden bough, sentenced to live in Death...

i really only have two things left to say:

1. godwyn was too sexy to be in the game so miyazaki gave him the worst fate known to humanity (godhood?)

2. this happened to my buddy eric

[doubleedgemode]

that post u made about A.B.A regarding her classic GG quotes is so interesting I had no idea she said that! I haven’t played the earlier games, would u happen to have screenshots of where she says that or where I might be able to see some of her classic/unused quotes ? I just like having that stuff on hand lol. Thank you!

Thanks to you, anon, for making me revisit the screenshots, and sure thing! I'm gonna link the page, keep in mind it's super meaty and covers a lot of characters so ctrl F search will be your best friend to find specific character/quotes :)

I found them in this big quote compilation in guiltygear.ru, click the sentence to go there. (Kudos to @/solradguy's big gg neo.cities archival efforts making me find the page)... BUT before anything, important DISCLAIMERS❗:

1. Some of the quotes in general can get kind of explicit or with double entendres so uh keep that in mind.

2. Something I just learnt after going to find you the translations, it's to keep in mind their author: See, this is better explained in the aforementioned ne.ocities archival, but a lot of the site's translations were made by someone who, without going too much into detail, is... a controversial member of the community, who is known for putting a good bunch of misconceptions and mistakes into their translations. (Also they have, in my opinion, unsavory and even problematic takes about the franchise. Don't try to argue with them, just block, per proper net etiquette) I don't know japanese so I don't know if this quote index suffers from that so in the end, we'll have to take all this quote info with a huge grain of salt.

Keeping all this in mind, this is already probably a wordier answer than you expected BUT since we are at it, I'll ramble about some A.B.A quotes (in no order) that I found interesting about the topic under the cut, if you want to read that.

First and third quotes in this picture are pretty self explanatory about this part of her character. The vs Faust intro... Man, that looks straight out of her strive song. Dunno if they pulled inspiration from that, but it seems even in the classic days they had a pretty clear idea of part of A.B.A's story being existing and thriving in her own unique way.. Which makes me kind of emotional for some reason ;_;

These were NOT unused as far as I can tell, but obviously do correct me if wrong!

I find it fascinating how much of clear glimpses these are are into her law obsession (more on that specific one later) and believing herself to be a high class person and looking above "lower classes" shoulders.

Some of these aren't exclusively about the aforementioned topics but they mention her cooking god knows what creatures (like in that one infamous xxac ending) and just.. being a scared, pathetic individual at heart. Sigh.

There are probably more examples of all this but this post needs to end sometime today.😭 So, returning to her law thing being an obsession in capital letters, look at her ingame overdrives:

But before that, the elephant in the room: People's observations of her instakill looking pretty taxing to her to perform and even making a berserk Paracelsus look like even he thinks this goes too far are not far from the truth. "I might not recover this time... Dying!!!" What else can I say, that's just sad.. and very interesting lorewise about the toll of this kind of summonings. Yeah, people noticed that in strive, she can summon the same exact door as in her insta with no struggle (or at least not the same level for sure) indicates her power or skill have improved which is so so fascinating.. Anyways. Back to the law thing. We've always had a huge sign under our noses: Her saying Evidence in her overdrives. While sure it can be evidence in a more general meaning, like proving facts or something, it does call to LEGAL evidence, too

...Maybe that was super obvious for everybodh but I'm afraid to admit I didn't connect the dots til now haha 😅

I cannot access my xxacp copy right now to see if her saying shouko during her overdrives is correct, but were we to take this as truth and also trust a japanese language study site as solid because. Again I have zero knowledge of japanese... According to Nihongoclassroom..

It can be used in a legal setting.

And with this we can neatly wrap this up... Tdlr I guess she's living up to her creator being a mansion owner (which isn't precisely cheap) and it gets so interesting and double edged (HAH) if you believe her classic games was as self aware while doing this and fooling herself as strive A.B.A is.

AND she has or had a HUGE interest in law (and if u allow me to reach mayyybe morality too?). While probably not as core to her as her key thing, she sure has told the audience almost as much as it.

[neonmetro]

HIIII school is kicking my ass so I can't send as many asks as I want to also because I still haven't gotten a replacement phone and I just don't know how to put it into words without fangirling but LKHSBFJSJGBKV

That being said this might be more fangirling sorry 😔

Ilya and Ulysses have been clouding my mind like A LOT, also Virgil, like Virgil has been there for awhile but now that I'm having like 4 tests every week they are DEFINITELY there now. So uh *holds cup* If you have anything about the Divine comedy trio or Ilya I would like to know about that

ALSO BTW I AM ALWAYS DOWN FOR ULY CONTENT THATS A GIVEN LOOK AT MY ANON NAME wink wink*Gets booed off stage*

I would LOVEEEEE content and info about Azazel and Moloch also because I love them smm OFC IF NOT TO MUCH SPOILERS FOR PROJECT MARTYR. heh....heh heh heh....Azazel and Moloch being happy 4k ultra footage

I know I'm asking about so many of your OCs but I CANT HELP IT THEY ARE TAKING TURNS CROWDING MY MIND ATP *sighs really loudly*

I just love your blorbos so much *sheds a tear*

PROPER FANART IS ON THE WAY !!!! I HAVE MANY IDEAS

Also so off topic from Novaturient but I really just love your art and I love seeing it, keep doing what you are doing !!!! can you tell I'm trying to not turn this into a fangirling ask, ik Ulyanon does that a lot HFKSKFFFHJJFK

By any chance do you like the reverb ensemble. . .those are my bbys and I love them SM KSDJGSGNFDJTKT the Ruina brainrot has also been kicking my ass as of late

Pls have a great rest of your day / night Neon !!!!

-Ulysses loving anon

HII ULYANON!!! IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOUUU!!!! handshake on school kicking our asses... (me w/ the several worksheets/docs i need to finish lmao...)

i haven't really been thinking of new lore but i can elaborate more on the divine comedy trio

dante is fun fact. banned from the recreational district. for having absolutely desecrated the capital of the district by killing every aristocrat and hanging their corpses as decorations on christmas. vergil still remains on the position that dante shouldn't be banned because she no longer has the memories to do so but the recreational corpheads Heavily Disagree.

vergil's last name is maro ^_^

originally dante and vergil met when dante found vergil in the woods and nursed them back to health, she was originally training to be a nurse an decided to become a wandering healer for the war (and was eventually killed by ulysses the first time)

dante's power is "the self embodiment of human perfection"

HOWEVER!!!!!! ILYA DOES HAVE SOME NEW INFO !!!

they've got an obsession with magical girls and their ultimate goal is to make the best/strongest magical girl in the century and they're willing to do it through fucked up means (stressing them out/overworking them) because they're only trying to make them better. they were a former magical girl during the illium war but their chronic illnesses just made them unable to really get back into it so they just project onto others. they usually fixate on one person/group for awhile before dropping them because they aren't meeting their expectations :melting_face:

during the war, all the bogatyrs were specifically contracted magical girls (i mean all magical girls have contracts but i mean like. they were actually tied to a company instead of freelance mercenaries)

+ back then it was a whole political thing, where smaller companies (like arthur's roundtable, charlemagne's paladins, and the achaeans (before they plotted to destroy the founding)) would hunt as many vagabonds as they can to prove that their magical girls are the best so the founding should give em more support

uly has so much content you have no fucking idea. it went from bad. to worse.

his relationships are so ... complex and definitely toxic. (diomedes: onesided romantically but mutual platonically. dio likes uly a lot more than uly likes dio. circe: um. its definitely the worst out of all of these bc circe doesn't even like uly and has tortured him. and he tortures her back. kalypto: also very onesided but started out as mutual, penelope: ULY'S ENTIRE REASON FOR LIVING)

(i think i need to dedicate another post about uly he just has way too much, (oooo you should definitely ask me about uly on his own oooooo))

MOLOCH AND AZAZEL [BURSTS OUT CRYING] its been awhile since i've actually developed their relationship so here's just the intro to their dynamic...... they will get better... prommy... and then worse but let's not worry about that

RAGHGGHGGJ THANK YOU ULYANON!!! THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME [BURSTS INTO TEARS ONCE MORE] this is why i make art.... thank you....

i fucking love the reverb ensemble you have no idea. its so dire being an argalia fan bc no one is normal about his mental illness and freakiness (tbh my fav members are elena, pluto, and greta... but they're all great. their gay orchestra swag.) GOOD LUCK ON BEATING RUINA... I BELIEVE IN YOU

HONESTLY SHOUT OUT TO ULYANON FOR MAKING WRITE AN ENTIRE ESSAY W/ ONE ASK ALONE /LH HAVE A GREAT NIGHT/DAY TOO!!!!!!!!!!

[suckitsurveys]

Do you think it’s cute when you’re going down the road and see a dog with its head hanging out the window? It’s cute, but I’m also worried they’ll jump. Do you know what a capo is? I don’t.

When was the last time you wrote down a schedule? The other day I made a little list of what days we’re going to do what things when Ellen is hear for the weekend.

What does your favorite hair tie/accessory look like? I have these fuzzy scrunchies I like to wear sometimes when I do space buns. I also have these really cute star shaped barrettes.

When was the last time you used a touch screen monitor? Monitor? Not sure.

Do you have a favorite kind of milk? 2%, whole, etc? Soy or coconut.

Have you ever tried Parmalat milk? No.

Are there any buttons on your keyboard that you don’t know what they’re for/never used? Yeah.

Have you ever had to take prenatal vitamins? Nope.

Do you have anything unusual tacked onto your walls? No. It’s all pretty “normal” stuff.

Do you have a favorite drummer? I don’t.

Do you like to earn your own money or do you prefer that your parents/family buy you things? I mean it would be wonderful if someone else could just buy me things, who wouldn’t like that? lol.

Have you ever heard of the man with rubber skin? That feels familiar, but I’m not sure.

Does anyone in your family play in a band? What band? My niece plays in a rock band after school if that counts.

Why do you think a lot of girls claim to hate the color pink? Internalized misogyny.

Are there any symbols that have personal meaning to you? i.e: dice, a necklace, etc. What are they? Sure.

What’s the biggest spider you’ve come across? I have no idea.

Have you ever been bitten by anything poisonous? I don’t believe so.

What brand is your remote? RCA - etc. Whatever came with the smart tv..

Do you know anyone who has been knighted? Yeah, my stupid ass coworker.

Have you ever heard of the band Goatwhore? No.

Have you ever met someone who thinks they are a rockstar because they can play Guitar Hero? No.

Which Mario game would you say is your favorite? That is, if you even like Mario? Super Smash Bros and Mario Party.

Do you have one of those creepy family members that no one really talks to? Eh.

Do you have a DeviantART account? I don’t.

How many quarters would you say you had on you right now? There’s a quarter on my desk that’s been there since 2020. It’s the one with bats on it.

Have you ever seen any Bruce Lee movies? Possibly. I can’t think of any off of the top of my head, though.

Ever started watching a movie, then forget why you watched it in the first place? No? I mean, if I am watching a movie it’s because I want to watch a movie, so there’s nothing to really forget in that case.

When was the last time you used a hot glue gun? Last month when I made my niece’s Halloween costume.

Do you have a junk drawer? Yeah, a couple lol.

Have you ever gotten wasted off cough/cold medicine? No.

Did you know that if your baby’s gums are hurting you can rub whiskey into them to numb them? Uh.

What’s your opinion on thoroughbred racing? I don’t really have much of an opinion on it.

Ever watched Jerry Springer just to remind yourself that your life isn’t as messed up as theirs? I mainly watched it for entertainment purposes.

Have you ever had acne? If not, you’re so lucky. Yeah I still have it.

Have you ever been spelunking? No.

Ever walked into a facility of the opposite gender - like restrooms? Yes.

Ever lost your car in the parking lot? If so, did you use your car alarm to find it again? Yes lol.

If you’ve ever ridden a roller coaster, which one was your favorite? Yes, my favorite is the Raging Bull at 6 Flags Great America.

Has there ever been a Christmas where you had to do without gifts-wise? No.

Do you type with capital letters and proper punctuation? For the most part.

What’s so cool about Sweden? I’m not sure.

If you’ve ever had a crush, what is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you around him/her? Existing.

Have you ever pet a tarantula? Nope.

Have you ever been to the Olympic Games? No.

Have you conquered any fears recently? Sure.

If you’re in school, and have a bookbag, what does it look like? I’m not in school.

Have you ever shopped for clothes at a thrift store? If not, why is that? No, most aren’t plus-size friendly.

Let’s say you win a trip to Australia (if you already live there, then you’ll go to Russia.), at any city of your choice. What would you like to see first and why? I guess I’d go to Sydney and see all the touristy things there.

Have you ever written your own Bucket List? If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s a list of goals to accomplish before you die. Not physically written one, but I have things in my head.

[karl-marxxx]

Massive rant below the read more, but I’m too lazy to think of proper cws. Uh I’m depressed about capitalism, that’s all I got

I live with my partner and a friend, they’re both on income support waiting for their disability applications to process. I had to stop working in the fall and it’s unlikely I’ll be working again. My unemployment payments are done in a few weeks and that halves my income leaving us at a total around $2700 a month.

We’ve got over 10k (some stupid purchases, some necessary accessibility upgrades) in credit card debt, and I’ve got my student loans being held back by repayment assistance programs.

Rent will eat nearly half of our income not including any utilities or other expenses.

Literally what do I do? Is there even a way out of this hole without losing my soul? We use food bank, but there’s only so much expired peanut butter and stale Raisin Bran a person can eat. We only buy on sale with a few exceptions, but if we cut out the more expensive “unnecessary” things like coffee, what is even the point if I can’t look forward to at least one thing each morning. I can’t remember the last time I ate a vegetable other than onions and carrots.

We’ve cancelled our media subscriptions, we’ve applied for housing subsidies. We’re losing our hair at horrifying rates due to lack of nutrition, we’ve got EDs yes, but it’s certainly not helped by having no fucking money.

Like what’s the play here? Just keep getting in more and more debt but still getting the little things that make it easier to get through the day until I can’t take it anymore and either die of stress or I turn myself into a fine red mist? Or do I buy into the lie that I can get out of this mess and if I just give up everything that gives me joy, start working full time again only to drop dead at the ripe age of 35 debt free after a decade of eating nothing but food bank peanut butter and bulk chicken strips?

Yes, before you ask, I do have depression and an anxiety disorder.

[mari-guri]

IDOLiSH7 Ep. 6 - Triumphant Return in the Rain | Lotus Reacts

This episode title is long af

Wait am i dumb how did iori know riku had a respiratory disease did they say

How

Am i missing something ?

NO THATS MY GIRL

SHE SAID “YES” IN ENGLISH GOD BLESS MY EARS

unironically nagi becoming my fave bc he’s so funny

SORRY I LAUGHED SEEING THE LIKE 7 HAND SIGN THEY HAVE

IT KINDA REMINDS ME OF GOT7’S BUT MORE OF A PAIN TO DO LMAO my hand does not bend that way

Rain again

Oh no is THIS the real gfriend situation

OR you should be careful to not fuck yourself over

Damn he even wanted to give him his pudding

Don’t say if you fall we fall with you now it’s actually gonna be like the gfriend video

Yamato kinda crazy LMFAO

Who does he wanna take revenge on tho hmmm still thinking about that i didn’t forget

Tell me he has a shirt

Please

NO HE DOESN’T

GIVE HIM A REAL SHIRT PLEASE

BRO’S GOING OUT IN THE RAIN WITHOUT A SHIRT AGAIN

That’s a lot of people dang that’s great

Oh a song yeah

There’s no way I’m writing generation with one lowercase i that’s even longer than idolish

DAMN DON’T GET STRUCK BY LIGHTING NOW

Damn how optimistic he is. “We’ll be able to get great shots” while it’s pouring rain

He still has no shirt

I’ll never fucking get over this by the way

I won’t stop complaining until he gets a proper outfit

AHA

hey rain stop interrupting everything

ur pft stealing their thunder AHAHAHAHAHA sorry

Are they gonna do an acapella thing

Oh

That was not what i was thinking

Oh my god

Uh

This kinda reminds me of those videos titled things like “*insert title* MV without the music”

DAMN WHAT AN ENTRANCE

that transition went kinda heart

I hope they get better outfits soon bc this ain’t it

Tsumugi you did it girl (she didn’t do that much but her intuition helped them ya know)

Damn they gonna be shipped too i see you i see you

I kinda saw it too

Who tf are you

This ominous music is kinda funny

Okay Mr. Capitalism

Kinda respect trigger for that ngl

Bro getting worked up over a jpop group like a LOSER

U h ohhhhh i see

WOAH THERE

Did you say first fist fight lmaoo

Mr capitalist is here tf

Say no

SAY NO

DONT TALK TO STRANGERS

ITS OVER AGAIN

Episode 5 - Secret Episode 7 - Ray of Light

Return to IDOLiSH7 Page

[loregoddess]

if it's okay if I jump in, bc I have spent an ungodly amount of time reading as much of the 3H scripts as I could to try and piece things together....short answer is yeah, we never actually get a proper hard evidence explanation at any point, but we might be able to extrapolate the reasons since the Remire chapter immediately precedes The Cause of Sorrow, the chapter where students who've been transformed into Altered Demonic Beasts appear for the very first time.

It's heavily implied by Edelgard's gratuitous use of the Alt.DBs throughout the war phase that they're essentially artificially manufactured bioweapons created by the Agarthans and supplied to Edelgard to bolster her military might. Because of the students appearing after defeating the Alt.DBs in The Cause of Sorrow, we can assume that the Agarthans are manufacturing the Atl.DBs from people using artificial crest stones. It's possible that whatever took place at Remire was some sort of experiment to facilitate the creation of artificial crest stones.

My best guess based on wild speculation since I don't have a lot of in-game irrefutable evidence is that, historically Demonic Beasts (like the Wild DBs and characters transformed into DBs like Maurice or Miklan) were created "naturally" from crest stones or crest stone fragments from the slaughtered Nabateans after the crest stones were overused causing the human to transform. However, given the uh, slaughtering part, the Agarthans can't acquire more crest stones to create new weapons (i.e. Edelgard's Amyr) or new DBs (although the original DBs were probably an unknown side-effect of crest stone overuse that the Agarthans decided to try and capitalize on later).

So they needed a way to create artificial crest stones that mimicked the power of actual crest stones, but without any true crest stones or Nabatean blood handy to compare their artificial stones against, they needed to conduct an experiment, because it'd be impossible to know if an alternative substitute is comparable to the original without testing to see if it matches up. My theory is that the Remire incident was testing the effects of Flayn's blood on regular-ass people so that the Agarthans could get data for how Nabatean blood is "supposed" to affect humans, so that they could compare it to whatever they were developing to create the artificial crest stones to created the Alt.DBs (since the crest stones are hearts, and hearts pump blood, maybe there's a way to crystalize the blood into new stones, idk man this is a group of magic fantasy cyborgs who've canonically been transferring their "souls" into new bodies for hundreds of years, like, fake Nabatean blood being used to create artificial crest stones is the least weird thing that the Agarthans could have potentially done).

Now why they didn't just take out Flayn and turn her into a new weapon and use her crest stone for shit, I dunno, maybe Byleth and Co. got to her just in time or maybe the Agarthans wanted a plausible way to plant fake!Monica into the school. The writing is a mess for sure but like, that's my best guess for why Flayn's blood was stolen and used in the Remire incident.

Genuine question, what were TWS even trying to accomplish at Remire?

I'm writing for future chapters of my fic and when the topic came up I realized I don't have a clear answer😅

Something about driving people berserk with Flayn's blood? But even then they just use Demonic Beasts afterwards (something they should know already how to make), so the whole thing just feels like a non-sequitur...

I don't know, maybe there's an obvious answer or it's stated somewhere in dialogue, but I can't figure it out for the life of me😅

I'm gonna be honest with you... I have no fucking clue. They never use Flayn's blood after that so wtf was the POINT?

Maybe Flayn's blood is used to augment the demonic beasts? into like the altered states?? i dunno

[campingwithmonsters]

🫀Welcome To The Campgrounds… I’ve Never Actually Been Camping…🫀

INTRODUCTION POST

🌼A BIT ABOUT ME🌼

🫀Kiwi/Goldie

🫀21 y/o

🫀She/They

🫀I make art! I very occasionally write. I also make a couple overly edited memes sometimes. I also do video edits. Most are just lighthearted silly things to try and get a laugh from people but I do still like to make more serious, organized videos like animatics.

🫀My YouTube Channel is Camping With Monsters if you wanna see some of them!!

🫀I’m into a couple different fandoms… (will edit if I think of any more + get into any others)

— Pokémon

— Don’t Starve

— Cuphead

— My Singing Monsters

— Undertale

🫀My inbox is open if you ever want to shoot me a message!! I don’t always wanna chat to random people though so don’t get worked up if I don’t respond immediately or at all.

🫀I also really like shiny hunting. I’ll try to post more clips of my shiny encounters!

🫀 I also have an original story called “Duck Duck Goose” which revolves around “twisted” fairy tales (either twisting the meanings of the stories or things like Grimm fairy tales.) I’m super ambitious about!! I will also not shut up about it ✌️😁 (this story is also open to making OCs for, so feel free to ask about that if you’re interested at all…?)

❌DNI/DNF❌

— Basic DNI criteria

— Pr///oshippers/C///omshippers (y’all are the same. They’re synonyms. Stfu.)

— Z///oophiles

— L///oli or Sh///ota

— TERFs

— K///nk Blogs, but especially pregnancy k///nk blogs considering I’m creating a story featuring a pregnant protagonist. There’s a time and a place for that, but it’s not here.

— Dr///eam supporters

— AI “artists” or AI “art” defenders

— NFT/Cryptobros

— Yandere fans/supporters

— H///zbin H///tel, H///lluva B///oss, and all things V///vziepop.

— If you support I///sreal.

🏷️Important Tags🏷️

The Kiwi Draws — My art tag. Find my art here

The Kiwi Speaks — Occasional banter/ramblings

The Kiwi Makes Videos — Usually for, of course, any videos I make, be it memes, animatics, etc

The Kiwi Shines — Shiny hunting clips or general shiny hunting shenanigans. Eventually going to properly tag all of my shiny hunting posts.

❗️Disclaimers❗️

🫀 I have Tourette’s and Anxiety (officially diagnosed) and Autism (self diagnosed for now, I’ll see about getting an official diagnosis, but with the healthcare system, I might just continue without.). I probably have ADHD and/or OCD as well tbh

🫀 I do have some communication issues and can often stumble upon my words or say the wrong thing, please just be patient with that. I try to clarify when I don’t have a proper way to explain things.

🫀 I sometimes have OCD-related issues with typing and may occasionally uses speech-to-text. If random words in my sentences are capitalized or very strange typos occur, that’s because having this issue for such a long time has uh. Actually fucked with my phone’s keyboard’s predictability! It’s not fun!

🫀 Please use tone indicators with me!!

🫀 Some of my drawings may contain potentially sensitive media ((I.e. Blood/Gore or Drugs)) but it’s usually tagged with Tw (insert trigger) or // (insert trigger) , usually both.

🫀 I do occasionally roleplay, but if for whatever reason we were to roleplay and I don’t respond for a while or stop responding entirely, please do not pester me to respond. Sometimes I get tired of typing narratively and not very good at communicating about doing other things.

🫀 I uuuuuhhhhhh pull all-nighters sometimes ✌️😁

🫀 I SWEAR A LOT. I SAY FUCK A LOT. THIS ISN’T THE TOURETTE’S BTW THAT’S JUST ME LOL.

FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸🍉

🌻OKAY BYYEEEEE🌻

[ashes-in-a-jar]

I'm probably pretty wrong with this but it always felt weirdly sudden to me how immediately when Jon woke up Georgie cut him off (without going into speculations of off screen, non canon conversations). She was there the whole six months of the coma and then he finally gets up and she speaks to him no more than a few minutes and leaves with no proper explanation? I know people explain and so does she that it's unnatural for him to wake up from this but what was she doing there in the first place for so long while he was dead in all but his brain, which is pretty unnatural in itself? Waiting for him to die? Hoping he'd come back normal from death? I don't understand the discrepancy between this six month devotion to something that's clearly unnatural from the start to leaving when that person wakes up.

In my head I alway explained it through these lines when she talks about her encounter with Oliver:

BASIRA: And you’re sure you didn’t recognize him.

GEORGIE: No, no – he was, um – I’d never seen him before.

BASIRA: But?…

GEORGIE: He, uh, he felt like death.

BASIRA: What, capital ‘D’ Death?

GEORGIE: Yeah. Y’know, one of your… dark gods

In the apocalypse she was hidden from the Eye because she can't feel fear and therefor supposedly cut off from the Fears without feeling them and their supernatural influence. But of all of them she does feel Death, the End. She feels it very potently when Oliver shows up and my guess is she felt it on Jon when he woke up and was marked by the End with Oliver's help.

So if she feels the End in a supernatural way it means she still feels it as a Fear which means she still feels fear and can be afraid even if it's only of this one thing!

I think that in addition to the whole bit with her leaving and not wanting to help Jon anymore if he doesn't help himself and doesn't take the steps to leave the place hurting him there was something else that made her leave so suddenly with no preliminaries.

I think she was so unused to feeling fear that when she finally felt it now with Oliver and then felt it on Jon it made her be much more rash than she usually is and ran away from it not wanting it to come back into her life. She suddenly saw her memory of the living corpse in Jon's reawakening with that feeling of the End mark and, with the already heightened cautiousness she developed to deal with her lack of fear, she just couldn't handle feeling it again and had to leave.

This is not an argument to make her decisions lose justification! On the contrary! I think it helps me understand how she finds the logic in her leaving much more if she can actually feel the Fear and it causes her to rush into the decision. I think it makes her choices more human in my eyes. She can no longer see Jon as what he used to be because now he's marked by her worse fear and is far gone and she could only see it after Oliver left and he woke up. While we know it's not true that he's gone, her fear clouded that and she ended up rationalizing her decision later with the fact that Jon isn't helping himself leave so she can't even begin to help. Which, after reading posts and discussing it legthly with others much more elaborately than I can articulate in one place makes more sense to me than it did at first (understanding Georgie's logic took me a long time and it's much more complex than I'm putting here).

But this understanding of her feeling actual, real fear when it's the End that shows up explains the initial moment of her leaving after six months of being there which baffled me so much at first.

[terrence-silver]

Some Yandere!Terry Silver headcanons, please?🐍🖤

giffie provided by the beautiful @atmostories

- When Terry hates, he hates all the way. No middle grounds. Without limits, reservations or boundaries. Same goes for when he loves someone, as rare as that may be. He relinquishes all sense, all reason and absolutely embraces bias and favouritism without even hiding that he does. As I keep reiterating, his person is simply the best, the greatest, the loveliest, the most correct person that ever was, purely by virtue of them being his person. There might be a great trace of narcissism to such a stance too seeing as how Terry can't comprehend a world where anyone associated with him isn't purely the most admirable individual because why on earth would he of all people associated with anything less in the first place? Sure, objectively, you might be the most commonly mundane person, but not to Terry. No. To Terry you're extraordinary and he'll demand everyone else to hold such an opinion under duress if need be, and he tends to turn real antagonistic and standoffish real quick if he finds someone isn't fawning over his person the way they ought to. But, if they fawn too much, well -- that doesn't please him either and might just inspire jealousy. No winning with him. He loves that he's so hard to appease.

- He is also one for control. He is a control freak to excess. So, a Yandere!Terry might hold a certain resentment if he falls in love. Because one can't control who and when they fall for someone. It is usually entirely spontaneous and unpredictable and Terry doesn't like surprises, especially not of the emotional kind because he might feel it leaves him exposed and vulnerable. Endows him with another weakness he didn't previously have - so, in light of that, for a while, he might be out to hurt you. Toy with you. Test your resolve. Prod and poke at you, like a voodoo doll - sadist that he is. He might even take you and tuck you away somewhere within some dark corner of his mansion and not let out out until he figures out just what to do next, strategically. Or he might observe you. Stalk you. Research you from afar. Collect some of your things, or steal them rather. Outright manipulate and induce mental anguish in a roundabout way - he doesn't quite enjoy the emotions you've inspired in him, due to his own issues of just needing to have ever miniscule thing in order, at all times, even the things connected to his own heart. Especially those things. So, once you do, for the longest time, you're Terry's enemy and you've officially declared war. The devil works hard, but Terry Silver works harder.

- He gives obsession by definition a whole new meaning, because in spite of his partial resentment and adoration towards you, he'll also want all of you. All. Literally all. The good. The bad. The very worst. The very best. Everything in between. There's honestly just no telling how far it goes when he starts adopting actual tid-bits of your behaviour or mannerism into his own because that's how he shows his love. His attachment. Through imitation. Through...adopting some miniscule trace of your habits or your appearance, or maybe he just starts tapping his fingers to excess on the surface of a table in anticipation once he catches wind of you doing, or perhaps, he starts incorporating your favourite color into his attire, purely because it's your most preferred one. Not unlike a black hole, Terry has the tendency to consume. Consume fear. Consume power. Consume markers of hedonism. Consume identities, if need be. Either due to grief. Remembrance. Possession. Merely because he can. Because he wants to. Your body's his. And your heart is his. Your soul is his. Everything you own is his. Your very personhood might as well be his as well. He sees no reason why he shouldn't usurp everything his darling has to offer and then some. What he does with his new stake of ownership is another thing entirely - whether he loves or destroys or both is of little importance, because he sees, he likes, he claims and then proceeds doing whatever he pleases. End of discussion.

- People from your past might mysteriously start, uh, falling off. Disappearing. Distancing themselves from you. Surely, Terry had no part in it, except, well, now that he's here, he sees no reason why you should need anyone else? Isn't it a given he's the best? And as such, more then a worthy replacement for any amount of individuals serving as your support system prior to him arriving? Surely, he's a far superior choice. He outmatches anyone and everyone. You don't need those other pesky nobodies. Those distractions. He slips sweet poison into your ears and convinces you he's all you ever needed and craved, but you simply didn't even know. But, oh, he's the face of kindness and he came along in the nick of time to help you. What an angel. He's all favours. Good, well-meaning advice. Strategic encouragement. Protection. Being eerily there whenever you need him. And he'll make sure you need him all the time. He wants you to be unable to function without him, crippling all your defenses. He says the exact perfect thing you want to hear, at the exact, perfect calculated time, like someone capable of reading minds. He gives affection and then removes it. Gives it and removes it. Hot and cold. Hot and cold. He keeps repeating the process, both overstimulating you emotionally, only to suddenly deny you enough times where you're a simpering, stuttering pathetic, dependable little mess for him. Putty in his hands. He'll play you like a fiddle. And you'll dance to his tune eagerly because he'll make sure you adore him and want to appease him so much he'll land himself with a sweet little slave. No, no - he's not an egoistic narcissist, he's just looking after his investment and making sure nobody infringes upon it. And how could anyone possibly, if there's nobody beside you but him?

- Although, that being said, nothing's for free, right? Not even him caring for darling you. Don't you know how very exclusive that is? How rare? How unusual. Terry hasn't been significantly close to much of anyone but John Kreese, and that's a camaraderie forged in blood and war, two decades in the making, so for you to be deemed so very special, above all others, the least you can do is repay Terry's emotional courtesy, after he's allowed you into his inner circle like this. After he's allowed as much as your fingers to graze his skin. Don't you know he doesn't fancy being touched by much of anyone else, almost? Don't you know he isn't kind to just about anyone, but his people? Don't you figure you owe him something after he's provided you with every luxury and comfort known to man? Practically pampering and fussing you to trips and trinkets and indulgences? How lucky you are. How privileged. One in a million. And of course, being something of a petulant, unpredictable Yandere himself, what he expects in payment is your undying desire, devotion and discipline. He wants you yearning for him, always. He wants your undying, absolute loyalty. And he wants you attuned, focused and his. He expects to domineer every aspect of your life just due to the fact that he showed you the vague mercy of allowing you in. He's nitpicky and a perfectionist, so, if he singled you out as something or someone he wants, he expects the fact he put in actual time, effort, conditioning and proper seduction into you to a fruitful venture. Don't you know that for a billionaire with his own world-wide conglomerate, time's the most expensive capital in the world? So, if he gives you some of his, he expects it given back by the tenfold.

- For all his many shenanigans, cat and mouse games, tricks, ploys, schemes, obsessive outburst, denial, once Terry loves you, he loves you, and not in five, ten, fifteen, fifty years will that state of mind ever change for him and in spite of his best, most desperate borderline strategic methods to prevent being commanded by a feeling, he still ends up very much controlled by it and really, everything he does to you, ultimately, he does to himself too, invertedly, falling into a trap of his own making. If he strived to make you his slave, he becomes yours. If he tried to make you putty in his hands, he eventually became just that where you are concerned. If he wished to make you disciplined, devoted and full of desire for him, that's the stance he takes towards you. He becomes a mirror image of all his actions and they reflect back on him, and his dedication to you becomes a lifetime affair. You're his most prized person. His madness. And rock. And light. And everything. Where Terry's concerned, you're one. You're an Ouroboros. Snake biting a snake's tail. Infinity. Where he begins and you end is hard to gage, because in his plans to slowly consume you, you've consumed him as well, it's best not to test or try him where the question of just how far he'd go for your sake is in question, because Terry would go to any lengths, by any means, for any and no reason, and if he had to pollute and burn down and kill and manipulate the whole world for your sake, he would. His adoration, turns out, can be a very dark place to be.

[michaelarowrites]

Excerpt from Honor the Words

Akaryu Masaomi is drinking coffee when he feels the kick to his chest.

It knocks the wind out of him, causing him to drop his mug and instinctively crouch down, holding his abdomen as he tries to catch his breath.

“Akaryu-san?” says one very alarmed military analyst. Other onlookers have stopped what they’re doing in order to stare at him in concern, since by all accounts, he had collapsed for no reason. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” Masaomi says, already straightening himself and forcing a smile. “I’m just fine. My apologies, I just got dizzy for a second.”

Damn it, Youji! he thinks as loudly as he can.

I’m sorry! comes a thought that isn’t his, loud and clear in his mind. I forgot!

It’s the fifth time this week!

Youji-san, I wish you would be more careful, says a new voice in his mind, familiar but still not his.

I’m sorry, Shi-chan.

Masaomi exits the military kitchen, moving towards the training yard where he knows he’ll find Yamazaki Youji.

Hey, you just left your coffee cup on the ground. A third voice appears in his mind. Go back and clean that up!

Make me, Masaomi fires back, abruptly slamming all thoughts down, doing his best to sever the unwanted connection he now shares with three other people.

The strange telepathic communication that sometimes shares thoughts and feelings between the four is especially frustrating because it’s not like the usual mind-reading Masaomi knows how to handle. From a very young age, he’s known how to compartmentalize his thoughts and keep them controlled, with mental shields and wards to prevent unwanted spies in his mind. Threats of mind-reading and mind-compulsions and otherwise dangerous psychic attacks were not that uncommon in his daily life of political intrigue in the Capital.

But this is different. It’s nothing like the magic he knew how to guard against, and it chafes against him like someone has put a collar around his neck.

That same bond pings again, and he looks to the left where the connection is coming from and sees Shiori sitting in the shade. This is enough to waylay his path, as he detours to talk to her. “Shiori, are you okay?”

“I am fine, Masaomi-san,” she says curtly. She stands up from her seat on the bench, and presses down the folds of her plain kimono. Shiori always did like to dress in traditional clothes, as was common in the Capital and in the main Estates, but once she wore silks and it pains him now to see her so low. She looks at him coolly, as if sensing his thoughts (which, all things considered, she might have) and then says, “You do not need to spare any thoughts toward my well-being.”

“Shiori,” Masaomi winces. “You can’t be like this forever.”

“Like what, Masaomi-san?”

“Mad at me. I’ve apologized, and you’re just being stubborn. I thought we were friends.”

“We were friends, Masaomi-san, and then left me to die,” Shiori says, smiling sweetly. “That sent a very clear message about the boundaries of our friendship.”

“I didn’t think they’d actually kill you,” Masaomi says, but he knows it sounds hollow. “At any rate, this absurd higher ground is ridiculous. You’d have done the same.”

And yet, strangely, I didn’t.

He hears her thought loud and clear, and she looks mortified once she realizes what she’s communicated. “Shiori,” he starts, his voice softer this time.

“Excuse me, Masaomi-san. I have business elsewhere.”

It’s a lie, and their new bond means he knows it’s a lie, but he doesn’t stop her as she walks away.

*

Masaomi finds Youji in the training yard, talking to the pretty gumiho woman he’s made friends with over the past couple of weeks.

“—stop dodging, how are we supposed to have a proper fake battle if you keep avoiding hits?”

“Sorry, Mi-chan, I guess I’m squeamish about being hit.”

“Uh huh. Oh look, your rich boyfriend is here.” Sakurano Michiru looks over at Masaomi and smiles. “Hello, rich boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Youji says.

“And I’m not that rich anymore, considering the other grand dragons froze my accounts,” Masaomi says.

“So you keep saying, but I’m not sure I believe you,” Michiru says, talking to Youji. “Although, you were making out with Corporal Toma last night. Get any?”

“He left early,” Youji says.

“He always does. I could’ve warned you. That man’s a tease.”

“I didn’t mind. It was an honor to be teased,” Youji says with a grin. Masaomi manages to hide his scowl but the irritation is probably communicated anyway.

Oh, so that’s where you were last night, Masaomi thinks, despite himself.

I was invited for drinks. You could’ve come along.

I wasn’t invited for drinks.

Out of the three of them—no, out of the four of them—Youji is the only one who is settling in nicely with the Magpies. Even Hinami seems irritated at how easily Youji is fitting in with the ranks. Just looking at the two of them, Youji would be the one people might think has been here for years, and Hinami the newcomer.

Then I’ll invite you next time, Youji thinks.

I don’t want to be invited, Masaomi snaps back, still irritated.

“See, and now you two are staring at each other intensely, which is a thing you two do a lot, and is certainly giving the impression to everyone on base that you guys are madly in love with each other,” Michiru says conversationally. Youji looks like he’s going to protest again, but Michiru just says, “I’m going to spare you the lie, which I’m sure will be very believable and convincing, because I have to go. I got a summons.” She waves her wrist, where the gold Cicada indicates a message received. “Be good, boys. Don’t do anything scandalous without me.”

“Lovely woman,” Masaomi says as she leaves, admiring the movement of her hips as she walks away.

“You’re staring.”

“That is the confident walk of a woman who clearly expected me to stare. It would have been impolite not to comply.”

“Uh huh. Well, behave. I like Mi-chan, and she would eat you alive. That was her kick earlier.”

Masaomi rubs his stomach, still convinced he can feel the dull ache. “Duly noted. You said you were going to be more careful in training sessions.”

“I got distracted, sorry,” Youji says. Hinami’s sparring sessions aren’t as intense, and she rarely gets injured. So far, it’s only Youji who keeps sending these inconvenient flares of pain through their unasked-for bond.

“Apologize to Shiori,” Masaomi says coldly. “She’s a court lady, and isn’t used to pain.”

“I did apologize to Shi-chan,” Youji says, his voice mild. “She’s very forgiving.”

Masaomi scowls, since there’s no way Youji doesn’t know what Masaomi and Shiori were talking about five minutes ago. “It’s all a front. Her grudges could freeze mountains.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. He likes harping at Youji, because Youji never seems to mind. But after his conversation with Shiori, he can’t help but be keenly aware that Youji is the only one on this base who doesn’t treat Masaomi like he’s an evil villain. Abruptly, he asks, “Why aren’t you mad at me?”

“For what?” Youji says, perplexed.

“For—you know. Leaving you to die, and what not.” Youji had already been shot by the humans. Masaomi left him thinking he was dead, or near-death.

“I had no expectations that you wouldn’t.”

“Ouch,” Masaomi says, surprised by the genuine hurt he feels at that statement. But then, he’d already betrayed Youji once before, so of course Youji would have expected that he’d do it again. It’s completely absurd that he feels hurt, when clearly Youji was right not to expect better of him.

“That’s not what I meant,” Youji says, frowning quizzically. His thick eyebrows move like silkworms on his face, and it actually makes him look charming.

“No?”

“I meant—I didn’t expect you to stick around. I didn’t expect anyone to stick around. Why would you have? We just met each other. You didn’t owe me anything.”

It’s everything Masaomi has been telling himself these past couple of weeks—I had every right to leave them! I owed them nothing!—but hearing Youji say it like that just sounds bare and false. “Well. It’s unlikely I’ll do it again.”

Masaomi hates how awkward that sounds. Youji just grins at him and says, “So were you worried when I didn’t come back to our room last night?”

“I wasn’t worried,” Masaomi says, bristling. “You’re my jailer, not my roommate.”

“Uh huh, sure.”

The fact that they’re sharing a military bunk is something that still chafes, because Masaomi has never shared living quarters with anyone. Much less a room that’s little better than a closet. But when they’d first arrived on base, Hinami had said, “I don’t trust you not to run away.”

“There’s nothing you could do to stop me,” Masaomi had said. But their bond was brand new at that point, and he didn’t know how to stop himself from automatically thinking, Youji would probably stop me from leaving. That thought had, quite embarrassingly, been transmitted to the other three. Youji had looked flattered, Shiori had looked coolly intrigued, and Hinami had said, “Good, then Yamazaki will room with you and stop you from leaving.”

The fact that Masaomi is sure that Youji could stop him from leaving—or at the very least, would be able to track him down and bring him back, if he did leave—upsets him more than the fact that he now has to share a room. Not that he plans on leaving, (he’s learned from that mistake), but he’d like the option.

“Maybe you wouldn’t want to leave so much if you made more friends,” Youji says helpfully.

“Stop that.”

“I can’t help it, you’re broadcasting your thoughts so loudly,” Youji says, his voice abashed.

“I am not. I have complete control over my thoughts. This is ridiculous. Call the divine Avatar and tell her to stop this stupid bond thing. I refuse to be a divine champion if I have to keep sharing my thoughts with the three of you.”

“I keep telling you, I don’t know how to summon her. She just shows up. I’m not sure why you keep thinking I have special access to Madhuri anyway.”

“Probably because you call her Madhuri like she’s a childhood friend and not a divine Avatar,” Masaomi says. He’s only known this man for three weeks, and he’s still not sure if Youji is purposefully evasive or if he’s genuinely bad at understanding subtext. Because it has certainly occurred to Masaomi (and Shiori, he’s sure) that Youji is the one whom Madhuri chose to rescue Masaomi from prison. Of the four of them, Youji is the only one Madhuri has talked to without the presence of the others. Masaomi doesn’t believe for a second that Youji is too dim to understand that makes him different from the rest of them.

“What else am I supposed to call her? She didn’t give a family name,” Youji says, sounding genuinely puzzled.

Masaomi gives up.

“If she shows up again, tell her to remove the bond,” Masaomi says, turning to leave. “Or I’m not helping anymore.”

[bbugyu]

hi! could i request a jeonghan enemies (or friends that bicker a lot) to lovers? ty and i love ur writing !!

i am so glad you requested this because i have had this in the works for so long that i had to throw it into a case converter because it had capitalization and i was Not gonna finish it if i had to type it proper (i'm a fucking gremlin ok)

thank u for reading my work and thank u for giving me the perfect excuse to be hopelessly in love with jeonghan!!!!

falling + yoon jeonghan

finally, he thought. someone on his level. what’s the catch?

part one | part two

wc.10009 (fuckin oops) | fluff, humor, uni/coffeeshop/enemies to lovers au, gender neutral reader, slow burn, drinking, like lk too much drinking, swearing, throwing it back to sistar, copious argumentive flirting, everyone is MEAN but like in a funny way, bff!mingyu, it's your resident mingyuzi shipper, the only person more of a little shit than jeonghan is y/n

i used to be a barista and i would get exceptionally hateful towards customers for really stupid reasons and the only thing that could stop it is if they were really hot. this seems to hold great jeonghan energy. also i made y/n, like, mean as hell. like not actually mean but like. Mean. sorry. also all bars mentioned are real bars on capital hill in seattle that i love so if you recognize them that’s why. enjoy this enemies to lovers courtship.

*

you were pretentious, jeonghan thought. you acted like you were better than everyone else, and he hated that he had yet to find a reason to call you wrong.

he saw you almost every day during the week, between the class you shared on tuesdays and thursdays, and the cafe he worked in that you frequented to study. your demeanor was always polite, but what most people would describe as cold. you had caught his attention the first day of the semester, something about you seemed familiar, but he couldn't place it until he made your coffee the next day. you usually sat in the row in front of him, a few seats over, and he would chew on his cheek and wonder how you could sit back in your chair, arms crossed and eyes hardly opened, but still get the highest essay scores in the class. at the end of lecture, after he was done spending all his brain power stewing about your ability to succeed in visual culture without really trying, he would text his friend that took the class last quarter and ask, panic stricken, if he still had his notes, the irony of the situation completely lost on him.

at the cafe, you would come in, order an americano, and sit yourself in a well lit corner to work on your classes for a few hours, the coffee mostly undisturbed on the table beside your favorite armchair, then leave. there was never a smile on your face, and you were always alone. jeonghan watched the ice in your americano melt, watering down the coffee he made. maybe he had let the shots of espresso sit too long before saving them. maybe he let them burn on purpose just to see the face you made. but alas, you hadn't even put the metal straw to your lips. he wondered why you even ordered a coffee if you weren’t going to reap the benefit.

joshua spotted him leaning against the counter as he came out of the kitchen and laughed, setting down the freshly washed milk pitchers. “ask them out.”

he stood up straight. “why?”

“why not? you clearly like them.”

“i really don’t,” jeonghan laughed. “you’re crazy for thinking i do.”

joshua rolled his eyes. “no one spends as much time as you do staring at another person if they don’t find them at least a little attractive. have you ever even talked to them? outside of taking their order?”

he hesitated. “no?”

“so what if they’re actually really wonderful and you have a lot in common?”

“as if.”

“wow,” joshua said, leaning against the counter. “i can’t believe yoon jeonghan is afraid to talk to his crush.”

jeonghan shoved his friend's shoulder, giving him a look. “absolutely not. i'm 99% sure they're a pretentious asshole.”

he crossed his arms. “what does that make you?”

“shut up.”

“whatever, han. i’m just saying it’s kind of pretentious to hate someone solely because they don’t smile wide enough for you when they’re saying thanks.”

“it’s not that hard!” jeonghan said, maybe a little too loud. “i don’t wanna smile either, shua! but i do it! so can they!!”

joshua laughed. “lower your voice and go say hi, you freak.”

much to his chagrin, jeonghan got shoved towards your spot in the cafe with the front of the tables needing to get wiped down. he looked at joshua and seokmin with a furrowed brow as he wrung the towel, both of them giving him thumbs ups with wide grins. begrudgingly, he slowly made his way over to you.

“hey,” jeonghan said, doing his best to project something other than the absolute turmoil going on inside his head. you looked up from your textbook, pulling the earbud out of your ear. “why don’t you drink the coffee?”

you furrowed your brow and looked at your untouched americano. “i- uh, what?”

“you never drink the coffee,” he repeated, nodding at the glass. “why do you get it anyways?”

you blinked up at him. “are you offended that i’m not drinking your coffee?”

he almost laughed at the look of disbelief you were giving him. “no, i just don’t get why you waste the money here if you don’t even need the caffeine.”

“it’s cheaper to buy an americano than it is to rent a stall at a study cafe,” you said, habitually hitting save on your notes document. “why are you so worried about me, yoon jeonghan?”

he faltered, surprised. “you know me?”

“nametag,” you didn't miss a beat, pointing at his chest and giggling. “do you know me?”

jeonghan’s lip twitched, feeling almost embarrassed by not thinking of his own nametag, and definitely not an involuntary reaction to seeing you smile for the first time. “uh, yeah. we have a class together,” he said as casually as possible as he folded the washcloth in his hands. “visual culture.”

you nodded, looking into space for a moment. “hmm. weren’t you also in child psych with professor moon last winter?”

he blinked back at you. “yeah? you were in that class?”

you nodded, holding in a laugh. “yeah, yoon jeonghan. i was. head in the clouds?”

for some reason, the way you said his full name made his ears heat up. “maybe you were easy to forget,” he said dismissively, even though you both knew that wasn't the case. “isn’t it better to study in a library? that one’s free.”

“there’s never any open tables at the library,” you said, unfurling your legs and sitting straight, textbook in your lap. “and the chairs are uncomfortable, unlike this armchair. and people usually don’t bother me here.”

jeonghan sighed. “well, if you’re insistent on going to a cafe, there’s one down the street with a better espresso bean and it’s less busy. less people to bother you and a better tasting americano that you won’t drink.”

you cocked your head, closing your laptop. “is that an invitation?”

and for the first time, you saw jeonghan stutter. “n-no? just a suggestion. i think it’s cheaper, too-”

“don’t you work here?” you asked, eyes shining. “shouldn’t you be happy i’m wasting my money here?”

he eyed you, beginning to turn his body to leave the conversation. “do whatever you want. i’m not your dad.”

you grinned, leaning forward in your chair. “are you busy after class tomorrow?”

“why?”

“i need you to show me where this cafe is.”

jeonghan sighed. “can’t you just look it up? cafe nomu.” he wrote the characters with his finger in the air. “no-mu. use naver.”

“i get lost easily,” you said, standing up. jeonghan wondered if you were telling the truth. “we can go together?”

jeonghan watched you pack up your things, confused. “why?”

you paused, looking at him. “why not?”

he was getting real sick of people asking him why not.

“did i drive you away?” he asked instead, nodding at your now packed bag.

“no, i was headed out soon anyways.” you swung the bag over your shoulder and picked up the untouched americano. “do you want this?”

jeonghan couldn’t help but scoff as you handed him the glass that had been the subject of his staring all afternoon. “you can't be serious.”

you grinned and patted his shoulder. “i’m y/n, by the way. i’ll see you in class?”

he squinted at you as you walked away, suddenly confused by the quick succession of questions you had thrown back and forth. you were cute, sure, and his distaste for you was misplaced, perhaps, but he couldn't help the annoyance that bubbled up in him as you sauntered out of the cafe like you had won a debate. he walked back to the counter and set down the americano, an excited seokmin waiting for him.

“so?” he grabbed the glass and dumped it in the sink behind the counter. “how’d it go?”

jeonghan looked at the door you had left out of. “i think i just got asked out.”

“what?” seokmin’s hands made fists in front of him while he grinned. “y/n did? are you serious? you said yes, right?”

“not really,” he replied, looking back at the younger and exhaling deeply. “but i don’t think i can avoid it.”

you had known of yoon jeonghan for a while. a class here and there, a few mutual friends, and of course at the cafe. but the night you learned his name really stuck out to you, when he had been singing at a karaoke bar right after finals last quarter.

it was common to celebrate the end of finals week with partying and drinking, and your friends had invited you out to barhop until the sun came up. you started at a dance club, had way too much rum at a hula themed place, took tequila shots at a gay bar, then landed at a karaoke bar with a can of beer in your fist and a grin on your face. your friends liked to sing, so you had fun encouraging them to get on the slightly raised stage and show their chops. 

“no, no, no,” mingyu said, grabbing your hands as you tried to push him towards the dj. “no way, i recognize the names on the list. there’s real singers here.”

you looked at the screen that displayed the queue. “what do you mean? who?”

“that guy,” mingyu said, pointing at the screen easily, despite you having to crane your neck to even view it. ��no way. he’s in jihoon’s band, i’m not following that guy.”

“hangguk’s angel yoon jeonghan,” you read, squinting. “sounds like a pretentious asshole.”

mingyu laughed. “wait til you hear his voice, you’ll see how he got the name.”

"y/n's right," jun interjected, leaning heavily against the standing table your quad squad had claimed, pouring more soju for himself and whoever would claim the other glass. "he is a pretentious asshole."

you pointed at him, brows raised at mingyu. "jun is never wrong."

mingyu rolled his eyes. "pretentious assholes can still sound like angels."

“where the fuck have you been,” you asked, startled by your third and final friend suddenly appearing beside you.

“around,” vernon said, sipping at the nondescript brown liquid in his glass through a bright pink straw. he laughed when you quirked an eyebrow at him. “soonyoung’s here with his posse, he caught me while i was getting another drink.”

“see!” mingyu shook your shoulder, nearly choking after downing jun’s companion shot. “i told you! jihoon’s band.”

you whacked his bicep. “who cares? just go queue a rap song or something, you pussy.”

the singers cycled through and you cheered on many of your fellow drunk university students as they sang with no remorse. jun dragged you onto the tiny dancefloor and forced you to help him hype up soonyoung - his dance team captain - as he screamed along to hurricane. then one of vernon's friends performed a near flawless rendition of shake it by sistar after yelling something about bringing the summer to this cold winter night, earning him a cheering and dancing crowd, and you had known far more of the choreo than you had thought. mingyu was whooping and hollering at you playfully every time you threw your ass out to the song, and he only got louder when jun and vernon did their best to follow along with you, and you had almost forgotten about the name that everyone insisted was to be feared.

“that guy?” you asked, the self-proclaimed angel stepping onto the stage. you recognized him immediately. “that’s my barista.”

mingyu made a noise that almost resembled whistling, if he had been capable of doing so. “i should start studying with you next quarter.”

and when he sang, it clicked. despite the tonal difference, you couldn't help but become enthralled by his voice. gyu was right. pretentious assholes could still sound like angels, and perhaps that was by design.

his voice drifted through your head again when you noticed him in your visual culture class, seated and giggling at his phone on the first day of the quarter. 

"you have another class with him?" mingyu groaned a week later, walking beside you. "why you? why aren’t there hot guys in my major?"

"because pre-med kids are too busy to be hot."

he gave you a look. "damn, okay. like, you're not wrong, but damn."

you rolled your eyes. "don't act like you don't love being the pre-med heartthrob. you would be pissed if you had competition."

"anyways, are you gonna ask him out?"

you pause at the stop light to wait for your turn to cross, turning towards him. "why would i do that?"

“because he’s hangguk’s angel yoon jeong-honey voice,” mingyu said, moving his head as he dramatically pronounced each syllable in your face. “if you’re not already in love with him, you will be soon, and it sounds like fate's trying to bring you together. didn’t you say he’s your barista?”

you rolled your eyes. “yeah, and his americanos suck now. i don’t even drink it when he makes them anymore.”

he looked at you with a cocked eyebrow. “what the hell? why do you still go there, then?”

you pouted. “it’s quiet and there’s a comfy armchair.”

weeks passed, and you continued to spot jeonghan in your class when you arrived, hearing the faint sound of his singing voice in your head. when he took your order at the cafe, he had a vague snottiness to his voice, and while you absolutely believed that this was the same person as the one you saw sing a soft love ballad with a sobering intensity at two in the morning, you still struggled to connect it to the one you watched run off the stage, immediately curling into himself and laughing with his friends in embarrassment.

you became more and more fascinated by yoon jeonghan as time passed, but his americanos continued to suck. so when he suggested a cafe with better espresso, you lit up. and when he got flustered, letting down his guard unintentionally, you lit up even more. that was the drunk, embarrassed boy you had seen, pink faced and giggling as he hid behind his friends.

jeonghan sat in his usual seat in class, anxiously glancing up at the door every time a group of people entered the lecture hall. when you arrived, your usual minute before the turn of the hour, he rubbed his palms against his sweats. the sweats that he had worn with the specific intention of making sure you didn't think he was trying too hard to look nice around you. despite that fact, part of him still felt annoyed that you were also dressed down, swimming in a hoodie several sizes too big for you. he tried to make sense of the sudden nerves he had, but not once did he consider they were because he thought you were disgustingly adorable.

instead of taking your usual spot, you marched right up to jeonghan’s table and grinned. “is this seat taken?”

he blinked at you. “yes.”

you laughed and slid into the seat beside him anyways, ignoring the dagger stare from a girl across the room that usually sat beside jeonghan silently. “you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“how do you expect me to react? you’ve never even smiled at me before yesterday.”

shrugging, you put your bag on the table and leaned back in your seat, assuming your usual position for this particular class. “you didn’t deserve it before yesterday.”

jeonghan wanted to argue with you, but the professor cleared his throat and introduced the subject of the lecture.

after only ten minutes, jeonghan could have sworn he heard you snoring. he poked your shoulder with his pen.

you looked over at him, eyebrow quirked. you mouthed a “what” at him.

he exhaled suddenly, mouth forming a vague smile more in disbelief than from being entertained. he seemed annoyed with you, despite the fact that he was the one interrupting your allocated meditation time. he leaned forward, turning his body towards you and spoke in a hushed tone. “how can you do that every day and still be top of the class?”

you mirrored his body language, leaning forward over the desk and resting your cheek on a fist, speaking in the same hushed tone. “visual culture is subjective. as long as you understand the concept; i-e, how we as humans visually design the world around us and how that becomes an important aspect of our place in nature, in the universe, in existence, etcetera; then you can write about literally anything. my last essay was about skate parks. the more opinionated the essay, the better score you get.” you pointed a finger at the man speaking at the front of the class. “i watched the prof’s ted talk before the quarter started - every lecture is just a regurgitation of the same concepts. it’s an easy a, as long as you have strong opinions.”

jeonghan stared at you for what felt like an eternity. “you do seem like you have strong opinions.”

“and you don’t, yoon jeonghan?”

he supposed he couldn’t argue with that, but it still frustrated him to no end that you had found some kind of loophole that he had missed. you gamed the system better than he could, and he had been stuck pouring over his friend’s notes from the previous quarter and bullshitting some essays about architecture that he didn't give a shit about. and so, instead of spending his whole class stewing like he normally did, he decided to waste no time adopting your approach, pulling his sweatshirt hood over his head and catching up on some missed sleep. when he woke up again, it was to your prodding finger.

“what time is it,” he said immediately, squinting at his surroundings. he suddenly remembered he was in class as he saw fellow students packing up their things and filing out. he looked at you, blinking at your grinning face.

“time for coffee,” you said, tugging on the drawstrings of the light blue hoodie he wore. “did you have any sweet dreams?”

jeonghan shoved his blank notebook into the tote bag he used for classes and stood. “of course not.”

“i did,” you said, throwing your bag over your shoulder and following him down the hall steps. “i dreamt you paid at the cafe.”

he turned, eyeing your shiteating grin from behind his hood. “yeah, keep dreaming.”

“worth a shot,” you said, trotting down beside him. “so, what’s your major, yoon jeonghan?”

he rolled his eyes, almost forgetting about your habit of calling him by his full name. “do you really care?”

“what else are we gonna talk about, my drinking problem?”

despite himself, jeonghan laughed, looking over at you as you left the lecture hall. “maybe! how bad is it?”

you grinned, feeling successful from making him break his serious persona. “wouldn’t you like to know.”

he clicked his tongue, pushing open the doors of the social studies building. “no fun.”

“you’ll have to invite me to a bar next time,” you said, following after him out the door into the sunshine that cascaded over the quad. it was a beautiful spring day, but a bit chilly, and you shoved your hands into your sweatshirt pocket.

“hmm,” jeonghan said, letting his blue hood fall off his head as he stretched in the sun. “i only really go to one bar.”

you watched him bask for a moment, wondering how many sides of him you had yet to see. his hair was dark, but the lighter chocolate tones reflected in the sun. “bet i can guess which one.”

jeonghan paused on the sidewalk, making you walk ahead of him a couple steps before you turned towards him questioningly. “okay, yeah. guess. you won’t get it.”

you size him up a moment, taking his words as a challenge. “if i guess right, you buy coffee?”

he exhaled, an amused smile on his face. “why are you so obsessed with me buying you coffee?”

“it tastes better free.”

“okay, fine. but if you’re wrong, you buy.”

you groaned. “do you know how many bars are in this city? that doesn’t seem fair.”

jeonghan resumed walking, gesturing for you to guess. “i’ll give you three tries.”

you chewed your cheek, trying to conceal your sly grin. “okay, three tries. deal?”

he nodded. you made it way too easy for him to win. “deal.”

“let me think.” jeonghan watched your feet fall easily into step beside him. “what bar has a stupid gimmick you would be into... pie bar?”

he shook his head, almost laughing at your teasing. “i’ve been there before, but it's not really my thing.”

you exhaled sharply. “shouldn’t that count for a stick of gum or something?” jeonghan laughed, insisting that this was an all or nothing situation. “then i give up.”

“you can’t give up!” jeonghan said. “you said deal. no going back.”

“fine," you pouted. "why can't i remember any bar names? uhh, r place?”

he stopped. “the gay club?”

you stopped, looking at him expectantly. “well?”

jeonghan laughed as he walked again. “no, not r place. jesus. you have one last chance. i’m really excited to order something expensive today.”

you chewed your cheek. “where would someone like yoon jeonghan go to drink… hanguk’s angel yoon jeonghan…”

he stopped in his tracks. “what did you just say?”

you tapped on your chin with a finger, arms crossed. “yoon jeong-honey voice… where would someone like him go? maybe… a karaoke bar?”

“hey, hey-” jeonghan pointed at you accusingly. “are you serious? you’ve seen me?”

“hmm,” you continued, laughing as you avoided his gaze. “oh, i know! the rockbox!”

“yah!” jeonghan was laughing, pointing at you in disbelief. “what the hell! this isn’t fair!”

“you said deal, no going back.” you grinned in victory. “wow, maybe i’ll order something expensive. i can’t believe i won.”

jeonghan’s tongue ran over his teeth as he watched you giggle and happily trot ahead of him. “fine, fine. you win. when did you see me there?”

“after winter finals,” you said, cheesing. “i was there with friends and you sang.”

he tutted. “damn. did i just miss you or did you not sing?”

“i don’t sing,” you said, smiling as he continued walking with you. “my friends do, though. and i was forced to be in soonyoung’s hype squad for hurricane.”

jeonghan clapped suddenly, remembering in his perhaps too drunk stupor that seungcheol had pointed you out, calling you “the cutie that keeps looking at him.” he had, admittedly, checked you out, despite the fact that he had been too embarrassed by his too-serious song to go and talk to you, and he had thought you looked familiar. “oh my god! yes! i did see you! how do you know soonyoung?”

“mutual friends,” you said. “chwe hansol?

he nodded. “we’ve met once, i think. were you there with junhui?”

“yeah, actually,” you said, remembering the opinion of jeonghan your friend had volunteered up for you. “how do you know him?”

“i haven’t talked to him a lot directly, but i know both his roommates pretty well,” jeonghan said. "we do music together.”

“ah, yes,” you nodded in recollection, but refusing to acknowledge how insanely pretentious it was of him to say something like we do music together. “jihoon’s unnamed but immensely prolific band.”

he rolled his eyes. “why is it jihoon’s band? why can’t it be jeonghan’s band?”

“don’t ask me,” you said, putting up hands in innocence. “i didn’t even know it existed until that night. mingyu wouldn’t shut up about it.”

the name sounded familiar to jeonghan, but he moved on as the two of you reached a stop light. “do you go there a lot? or was that a one time thing?”

you eyed him. “this is starting to sound like an invitation, hannie.”

he didn’t comment on the nickname, despite the weird way his arms tingled at it. “you should learn what an invitation actually sounds like. you tend to assume a lot.”

you laughed heartily, and jeonghan ignored the way his stomach flitted while you started to cross the street. “call it wishful thinking, but i think i get you, yoon jeonghan.”

“the hell is that supposed to mean?”

you never answered his question, but grinned instead, which gave jeonghan a sense of unease and a touch of curiosity. as he led you to cafe nomu, he caught himself smiling. laughing. enjoying your company and conversation.

maybe shua hadn’t been completely off base.

by the time jeonghan had realized that his feelings towards you might have evolved from vague malice into something more akin to genuine interest, he was pushing open the door to the cafe for you and mentally double checking that he had put on deodorant that morning, cursing his inability to control his own nerves. ah, he thought. that explained the weird feeling he got waiting for you in class, too. and why he got flustered the day before at his work. he only snapped out of his crowded mind when he heard you ordering an iced americano.

“and for you?”

jeonghan blinked at you, then at the barista that was addressing him. “make that two.”

“thank you for the coffee,” you said, pressing your hands together as he inserted his card.

he waved you off, chuckling, but kept his eyes as far from yours as he could. “a deal is a deal.”

you looked around the quiet cafe, quickly scoping out the seat options as jeonghan accepted the buzzer for your order. he thought it was a little silly, considering the two of you were half of the customers in the cafe currently, but said nothing as he turned it over in his fingers, standing next to you.

“there?” you asked, pointing at a table by a window.

jeonghan bit his cheek, thinking about how joshua would likely be walking down this street to go to his shift, if he had one. “yeah, wherever.”

you were already on your way to the seat when he responded, and he followed, dropping his bag off his shoulder to hang on the hook under the table.

“i thought you were going to get something expensive,” he teased, sitting across from you.

laughing lightly, you pulled your phone out of your hoodie pocket and set it on the table. “you said the espresso was good, i wanted to try it.”

“don’t you not like coffee?” jeonghan asked, squinting at you.

“i love coffee,” you said, quirking an eyebrow.

“then why don’t you drink the americanos i make?”

he was leaning forward, staring at you, fingers folding over each other on the table. you pouted, avoiding his eyes suddenly. “no reason.”

leaning back again, he kept a wary eye on you. “that’s convincing.”

“good, it’s the truth.”

jeonghan decided to put a pin in that interrogation in favor of asking you your major.

you laughed again, making a small smile appear on his face. "communications," you answered, despite thinking of how he denied the same question from you earlier.

he let out a low "wah" and cocked his head. "what's up with that? same major."

"really?" you leaned over the table. "what year are you?"

"third."

you put a peace sign next to your eye like you were posing for a photo. "second."

you couldn't help but giggle at the "pfft" that spilled out of jeonghan's lips as he laughed at you, muttering a "really" under his breath at your pose. he was running a hand through his extremely soft and fluffy looking hair when the buzzer went off, and you blinked yourself awake from your trance to nod after he said he would go get the drinks. 

admitting to it was the last thing you wanted, but you couldn’t help but hear mingyu’s voice rattling around your head, telling you that you would fall for jeonghan eventually. you had once thought he was completely up his own ass, but you kept getting glimpses of this really cute, really sweet version of him, and it made you want to get to know him better. additionally, it was getting harder to find people that would happily play along with your teasing, and he had no qualms teasing you right back.

when he returned with the americanos, you pressed your hands together in another thank you before taking a sip. he slid back into his seat and looked at you expectantly. "well? what do you think?"

you paused a moment, appraising the flavor. "delicious. thank you."

after he sipped at his own, he nodded. "the beans here are really good. balanced. i wish i could convince my boss to source better stuff."

you watched him sip again, letting out a praise under his breath. you sighed. "i have a confession."

his eyebrows quirked at you, and he did his best to not show the way his stomach flipped. "what kind?"

"i don't drink your americanos because they're shit."

there was silence as he processed your words, and you wondered if you had royally fucked up by saying something. suddenly, he was laughing, and you stared at him in shock as he calmed down. "oh my god, yeah, they are."

"wait, you know?"

"i-" jeonghan paused, rubbing his face, still laughing. "god, this is so stupid. i burn your shots."

your jaw dropped open, but a smile creeped across your face as you understood. "wait, on purpose?"

"you never smile!" he attempted to explain himself with a bit too much enthusiasm, finding his own pettiness ridiculous in hindsight. "not even when i smiled at you. i had a grudge. i'm sorry."

you were sipping your non-burnt americano with a sly look on your face. you wanted to be mad at the wasted money on countless gross americanos, but somehow, you couldn't be. "do you hold grudges against everyone or am i just lucky?"

"uh, depends," jeonghan said, crossing his arms and thinking. "when the prof that failed my roommate comes in, i burn his shots, too. i think he might like it that way, though, because he's always really nice to me."

you almost snorted. "well, you owe me a lot of coffee."

he nodded and sighed, resigning to his fate. "when you come in, your coffee's on me. and i won't burn it this time."

you pouted a second, and jeonghan barely caught it, but he thought the expression was far too cute. "i was hoping you would invite me out again."

"again?" he asked, letting a few 'ha's fall from his lips in quick succession. "you mean for the first time?"

you gestured to the cafe you sat in. "was this not your idea?"

he rolled his eyes. "you invited yourself out and held me hostage."

"does that mean you have stockholms?"

he laughed at the diagnosis, remembering the class you claimed you had both taken the year before. "you're a very charming captor."

you smiled at the compliment, despite the sinister implication.

the next time you saw jeonghan, it was saturday. you had rolled out of bed far earlier than you had intended to when you had fallen asleep at 4 am after a very drunk and extremely conflict heavy game of uno with the guys. you winced at the sunlight streaming through your shitty dorm blinds, fumbling your way to the water dispenser on your desk to rehydrate.

you stared at your roommate's empty bed, remembering they had said they worked early shifts this weekend as you brushed your teeth, and you wondered how they had dealt with you stumbling into the dorm in the wee hours of the day.

you almost gagged on your toothbrush. an empty room on a saturday morning with too little sleep and a nasty hangover, you thought. bad decisions could never be made under these circumstances.

"does jeonghan's cafe do breakfast sandwiches?" you thought aloud with a mouth full of toothpaste, leaning over the sink to spit. you kind of remembered seeing them on the menu, though you never thought to get anything beyond the occasional muffin. maybe today was the day.

after washing your face and cleaning up your hair a bit, you had to dig in your clothes to find your favorite pair of black sweats and a shirt to tuck in. you last minute decided to bring your good headphones, just in case hanguk's angel wasn't there to bug, and ran out the door with your wallet and phone, a pair of sunglasses shoved onto your face.

the walk to his cafe is short from the dorms you lived in, which was another reason you liked it there. it was warmer than it had been during the week, and you watched a big muscular dog running alongside its owner. before long, you were tugging open the door, seeing no line. you grinned at how lucky you were as you pulled your headphones down to your neck.

"yoon jeonghan! you are working!"

he seemed startled by your voice, his shoulders raising slightly as he turned towards the door. "oh, what the hell? what are you doing here at 9:30 on a saturday?"

you pouted, walking up to the counter and tugging off your sunglasses. "are you not happy to see me?"

his laugh was genuine and completely out of his control. "sure i am. nice eyebags."

that, you noted, was the first time jeonghan had ever greeted you with a smile, and it seemed appropriate that it was paired with an insult. "thanks, i'm violently hungover right now." you said, noticing your best friend's roommate standing further back behind the counter, pretty obviously pretending to not be listening to you.

"do you wanna redeem a free americano?" he asked, poking at the touchscreen register.

you hummed, crossing your arms and staring at the menu board. "not today, i wanna try a latte. something tasty, and something for breakfast. what do you think?"

jeonghan stared at you, and you stared back, a small smile on your face. he blinked. "have you ever tried lavender?"

"lavender?" you shook your head, genuinely surprised. "is that a good flavor?"

he nodded, looking down at the screen and adding items to your order. "we have this seasonal syrup that we make in house," he said. "it's my favorite one of the year. honey, lavender, and vanilla bean. big one?"

you blinked at the cup sizes, trying to remember how many bottles of soju you had bought the night before, and subsequently how much money was left in your account. "uh, yeah."

"will you be offended if i give you a vegetarian sandwich? it's the best one."

you cocked your head. "i mean, if it's the best one…"

jeonghan smiled slightly, pulling out his wallet from his back pocket. "it's the best one. and it's my secret hangover cure."

you noticed his card too late. "hey, what are you doing?"

he quirked an eyebrow at you. "buying your coffee. like i said i would."

"that was way more than an americano."

"and i've burned way more than an americano," jeonghan reminded you. "and if you don't accept that, i'm buying you breakfast as a peace offering."

your eyebrows raised. "a peace offering?" 

he avoided your gaze. "i've decided you're not a pretentious asshole."

you laughed at his word choice, and how it mirrored your own. "i mean, i can be kind of pretentious sometimes. and a major asshole a lot of the time."

jeonghan grinned. "me too."

he washed his hands and passed along the sandwich order to his coworker as he moved to the espresso machine, briefly explaining to you that he was completely useless with food as soon as a heat source becomes involved, but assured you that seokmin was a master with a turbochef, and that your sandwich was in the best hands.

you giggled, watching his hands as he found a squeeze bottle and shot the contents into a glass. "i trust you."

his eyes flicked to you briefly, and you leaned against the drink pickup counter, squinting at the syrup. he held the glass that would soon be your drink up for you. "see the specs? real vanilla."

you hummed. "it smells good."

"it tastes like sunshine, i swear to god."

your eyes followed his hands as he expertly filled and packed the portafilter with fresh grounds. he felt you watching him, and did his best to suppress the itch to fumble. you watched him not burn your shots, stirring them with the syrup and pouring milk from a jug. he added ice, put a metal straw in the tall glass, then placed it on the counter in front of you.

you made sure to smile when you told him thank you, and jeonghan was pretty sure he would have collapsed from how cute he found you if he had slightly less resolve. 

"veggie sando for… y/n?" seokmin announced to the cafe, eyes creasing into a laugh as he appeared with a plate.

you gave seokmin a nervous smile. "sorry for staying over so late. i didn't know you worked this morning."

jeonghan looked between you suspiciously as seokmin assured you it was fine, claiming he was knocked out by midnight and didn't even know when you left. who did seokmin live with again? jeonghan chewed on his cheek as he put your drink and sandwich on a tray.

your eyes flicked over to the front counter as a few customers entered the cafe, seokmin already heading over to greet them and begin the order. you tried not to let your disappointment show when you told jeonghan you should probably let him get back to work. he tried to not let his show, either, when he nodded in agreement. neither of you did a great job.

"someone's clocking on in half an hour, i can take a break then. don't leave?"

his almost pleading tone made your lip twitch upward. "don't act so clingy, hannie."

he grinned, then stopped you before you picked up the tray. "first- hang on," he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it, quickly going to the keypad as he looked over his shoulder at the customers. "give me your number."

your eyes met his briefly as you took the phone, quickly punching in your digits and tapping to add yourself to his contacts. he smiled at the profile name - "americano" - as you picked up your tray and headed to your favorite armchair. even as he was making other drinks and serving other customers, he couldn't take his eyes off you, sitting in your armchair with your headphones on. it had only been two days since he saw you last, but he hadn't thought of anything but you the entire time. he had almost considered asking shua to swap shifts with him so he could have a chance of seeing you the day before, but he knew his coworker would refuse to take the saturday opening shift. he spent his whole afternoon off sitting on the couch in his apartment, staring at the back of his roommate's chair, trying to figure out why he didn't ask for your number.

"hey," jihoon said, and jeonghan had only then noticed that his roommate had spun his tall cushioned chair around to look back at him. "i said, do you know when seungcheol invited people around tomorrow?"

jeonghan stared at him for a second, then sighed dramatically, rubbing his eye. 

"woah," the younger laughed and leaned back in his seat. "who'd you sleep with last night? i need to warn them you're crazy."

"no one," jeonghan pouted. "what the hell? i'm not crazy."

"hyung, i say this with the most respect i can," he said, leaning forward. "you're batshit, especially when you catch feelings for a one night stand."

"ugh, whatever," jeonghan pushed the pillow off his lap and ran a hand through his hair. "we didn't even do anything."

jihoon squinted at him a moment. "okay, hang on, i feel like our definitions of not doing anything are different."

he rolled his eyes. "we didn't do anything," he repeated, standing from the couch and walking over to the kitchen to get water. "like, nothing. we didn't even touch each other. not once."

jihoon looked around, trying to understand what he meant. "i'm confused. you didn't touch your one night stand?"

"it wasn't a one night stand!" jeonghan threw a dagger glare at the other before he drank his water, muttering a "really" beneath his breath.

jihoon's face didn't change. "so… you went on a date?"

jeonghan swallowed the water hard, putting the glass down on the counter and leaning against it. "kinda."

"you are really not making this easy for me at all."

"we got coffee," he said finally. "we have a class together, and we made a stupid bet over who would pay, and they fucking tricked me, so i had to pay for it and we talked for, like, a stupid long time, and i think i actually really…" he exhaled, both hands rubbing his face. "i think i really like them."

jihoon whistled. "i just wanna say before the moment passes that it is incredibly on brand for you to fall for someone because they conned you into buying them coffee."

jeonghan glared at the younger, but he couldn't argue. "we got coffee and talked and then they just…" his palms faced the sky as he gestured, shoulders raised. "they just left. i didn't even get their number."

"okay, and?" jihoon swivelled back and forth in his chair. "you have a class together. you'll literally see them next week."

he groaned, pressing his forehead against the fridge. "but i wanna see them now."

and now, he was seeing you. much sooner than he had expected, yet not soon enough. the saturday morning rush began to pick up, and even when an additional barista arrived, jeonghan wondered if he would actually be able to slip away for a break.

"go ahead," seokmin said, grabbing the steamed milk pitcher from his hand. "me and hyejoo can handle it for a minute."

jeonghan looked at the shrinking line and nodded, quickly pulling off his apron as he walked around the counter. he knew he didn't have a lot of time, and pulling up a chair seemed silly, so he instead just squatted and folded his arms over the arm of your favorite seat.

you looked up from your phone at the motion, pulling your headphones off and grinning. "hey! the drink is delicious and extremely not burnt."

he smiled, noticing it was almost gone. "i'm glad! it's still busy, so i can't really take a proper break, but i wanted to ask you something."

you squinted at him. "what kind of something?"

"do you have plans tonight?"

"depends," you said, turning your body to face him better as you sucked on your cheek. "what's going on?"

jeonghan exhaled, amused. "my roommate is having people over for a few drinks or something, it'd be cool if you came by?"

you looked at a light, gauging the state of your hangover. your voice almost cracked when you asked "tonight?"

"you don't have to drink," he said, remembering what you had told him earlier. "and you can, like, bring a friend if you want. i know it's weird that i'm inviting you to my place."

you thought a moment. "don't you live with lee jihoon?"

jeonghan blinked. "uh, yeah?"

"i'll bring a friend," you said, tapping your fingers on the back of your phone. you looked back to him and smiled. "text me details?"

jeonghan stood. "yeah, i'll text you," he said, glancing up at the door where more customers were walking in. "fuck, i should go."

you followed his gaze. "i think i'll stick to weekdays. this place gets crazy on the weekends."

"tell me about it." he started to walk back to the counter. "i'll talk to you later?"

you smiled and nodded at him, and you waved enthusiastically at him as you were headed out about ten minutes later.

"i'm still waiting for a text," you teased, peeking over the counter as he made a drink.

he laughed. "i'll get to it when i get to it."

"thanks for the sandwich, seokmin! it was delicious!"

seokmin waved at you with a big grin and you looked back at jeonghan.

"i'll see you tonight?"

he nodded, a smug smile teasing his lips. "yeah, i'll see you tonight."

you didn't show the way your stomach flipped when he made eye contact with you, but you slid your sunglasses back on and put your headphones back on your head, and walked to the rhythm of love songs in the sun on your way to your friend's apartment, a stupid childish giggle threatening to surface the entire time.

"hey, is mingoo around?"

minghao blinked at you, standing at his front door with a smile on your face. "dude, you left like four hours ago. what are you even doing here."

"uh, no, myungho, i left like seven hours ago, get it right." he let you walk past him into the apartment. "is he still asleep?"

"is that actually a question?"

you trotted into mingyu's room, humming along to the song playing through the headphones around your neck as you pulled open his blinds.

"god, what the fuck," his rough voice went behind you. "the hell is wrong with you. go home."

"that's not a very nice way to treat the person that's gonna set you up with your future ex-husband."

mingyu's hair stuck in several different directions and his eyes were still squeezed shut, but he had pushed himself off his pillow enough for you to know you caught his attention. "which one?"

you grinned. "the one with the pretty voice."

"wait," mingyu fumbled with his comforter as he tried to sit up. "wait, hang on. jihoon?" you laughed and nodded as he sniffed noisily. "he is not my future ex-husband, y/n. he's it. he's the one that's gonna make an honest woman out of me."

"well, lady, get ready to be honest, because i got an invite to a kickback at his apartment tonight and i snagged a plus one."

he squinted at you. "what's the catch?"

you rolled your eyes. "there isn't always a catch. maybe i'm just trying to be nice."

"yeah, uh huh." mingyu flopped back onto his bed, rubbing his eyes. "why didn't you just text me or something? it's so early."

"it's like, barely morning."

"it's ten."

you exhaled. "it's 11:17, asshole. are you going with me or not?"

mingyu groaned and flopped around, his head aching from the drinks that had stopped too recently. "when?"

"uhh," you stalled as you checked your phone. no new messages. "not sure yet. i'm waiting on a text."

he squinted at you. "who's texting you? soonyoung?"

you shrugged. "sure."

"oh my god, it's jeonghan, isn't it?"

"whaaaaaat?" you deadpanned, walking over to mingyu's bed to sit on the edge, staring at your phone. "why would i be waiting on a text from that loser?"

"i knew you were acting stupid yesterday for a reason," he accused. "and you asked jun what his deal was. you like him, don't you? what did he do? did he corner you?"

"absolutely not," you said, sighing and throwing your phone down on his bed, slightly offended by him saying you were acting stupid but truly not being able to remember if he was wrong. "i cornered him, at his workplace, no less. then i made him buy me coffee. then i showed up to his workplace, again, incredibly hungover, and he still asked for my number."

mingyu's lips formed a pout as he hummed, rubbing his eye again. "never would have pegged jeonghan as the simping type, but sure."

"shut up," you laughed, and mingyu whined about whether or not you had washed your hands when you plopped your palm against his face. he pushed your wrists away. "do you still have that bottle of white wine?"

"you mean the one hao refuses to drink even though i spent good money on it for his fucking birthday? yeah, why?"

you grabbed your phone again, despite it not vibrating. "it'd probably make a good first impression if you bring a nice bottle to the kickback you were last minute invited to. i bet jihoon will be so impressed by your manners."

mingyu blinked heavily. "you're devious. what about you?"

"i don't need a good first impression," you said. "i already made an awful one and he still likes me."

he sighed. "you always have been a charming dickhead."

you grinned at your best friend. "thanks, babe."

mingyu groaned against his palms. "god, fuck, i was supposed to study for my exam today."

you clicked your tongue. "that sucks dick."

"you suck dick."

you pouted out your lips when you got a text from an unknown number. "i'm trying."

you hadn't fully decided yet how you were going to make sure jeonghan really liked you, especially after jun regaled his "disgusting sexcapades," as he described them. you took his words with a grain of salt, considering the guy had an extremely low opinion of him from the get go, but either way, could you really blame jeonghan for putting his incredibly good looks and charm to use?

you, however, found flings incredibly uninteresting. most of the men that went after you were dull at best, and definitely would have fallen for any stupid prank you had played on them. with jeonghan, though, there was a challenge. there was always the chance he would out-trick you. it was new and exciting. playing with people, you decided, was only fun when there were some stakes involved.

inviting you to have drinks at his place seemed like such a transparent ploy to get laid, but you couldn't help but expect more from him. something told you he knew that you wouldn't be that easy, and you wondered what his game was.

i think i'm here >

which apartment was it? >

you definitely could have scrolled up in your conversation with jeonghan to check, especially since mingyu was complaining next to you on the street outside the apartment building, but you preferred the power move of asking again. you hadn't considered, though, that jeonghan was absolutely the type to know exactly what you were trying as soon as he saw the notification and make you wait. you squinted at the window that clearly had a party going on inside of it, willing the boy to respond.

"bro, it's apartment 2-b. soonyoung says he's 'the b in 2-b' like, every chance he gets. let's just go up."

"hang on, i'm plotting," you said, putting up a finger and scrolling through your contacts.

mingyu groaned as you put the phone to your ear, pressing the cold wine bottle against his eye. "you are the most annoying person i've ever met."

"yet you ask me to hang out constantly."

mingyu glared at you with his uncovered eye. "i also watch a lot of shit television, so don't take my taste as gospel."

inside, soonyoung patted down his pockets when he heard his ringtone, then looked at the kitchen counter where he had left it when he was making drinks. he grinned wide when he saw the contact info and practically yelled when he answered the phone. "y/n! please tell me you're finally coming over?"

jeonghan heard your name, his head whipping towards the sound. he stared at soonyoung, phone to his ear as he laughed into it, and he exhaled when he realized what you had done. he looked down at the ignored notification on his phone, his thought process being that you would call as it became more urgent.

and you had, just not him. he cursed under his breath. you were always one step ahead.

"yeah, second floor! come on up, i'll meet you at the stairs!"

jeonghan watched soonyoung shove his feet into a pair of slides and exit the apartment, then quickly downed the rest of his drink. he was gonna need an excuse to ask if you wanted one.

you followed soonyoung down the hall as he excitedly chattered about how he didn't know you were coming.

mingyu laughed. "yeah, we didn't either. y/n got an invite from jeonghan this morning."

"jeonghan?" soonyoung looked at you. "i didn't know you knew each other."

"i enjoy being a mystery," you said, checking quickly to see if your message had been seen yet.

soonyoung couldn't help but laugh at the idea of you and his roommate, especially with a few drinks in him. "you definitely suit each other."

jeonghan hadn't lied when he said people were coming over for drinks, but he had definitely made it seem much smaller than it was. the living area had enough people that you didn't want to bother counting, but probably somewhere in the twenties. there was music playing, but the conversational chatter was still audible over the beat, and people were laughing with each other on just about every surface you could see. you noticed jihoon by the kitchen counter as you were taking off your shoes, and grabbed mingyu's arm to face him towards you.

"jesus, fuck," he stumbled over his own shoes. "why do i hang out with you?"

"he's in the kitchen and he's alone," you said, your fingers digging into his bicep. "now's your chance. ask him where you should put the wine."

mingyu peeked over his shoulder, then looked back at you with wide eyes. "are you serious? right now?"

"right now," you reassured. "you got this, big guy. you're hot, smart, and tall. say you like his music and blow his mind."

he exhaled, his lips forming an o, and shook his hand nervously. "okay. okay. thank you. i love you. i'm sorry i ever called you annoying."

you laughed, smacking his arm. "love you too, goo."

he shut his eyes and spun, walking towards the boy of his affections. you watched him for a moment, though slyly, as you wandered into the party. you wondered where soonyoung had gone so quickly, then clenched your fist in victory when you saw jihoon get wine glasses out of a cupboard and laughed at something mingyu said.

"oh, y/n!" you spun to the familiar voice, spotting jeonghan leaning against a wall casually, half engaged in a conversation. he pushed off it as you closed the short space between you. "you made it! why didn't you tell me you were here?"

"i did," you said, cocking your head at him. "but you probably knew that."

a sideways smile creeped onto his face. "hey, are you drinking tonight? i don't wanna tempt your self proclaimed alcoholism, but i've been sitting on an empty drink for a while, i could make you one too."

you eyed the red cup in his hand. "what's on the menu?"

"paloma," he said, lifting the cup. "but i can make you something else."

you thought for a second, then looked at him. you hadn't had tequila since the night you saw him sing. "i trust your taste."

he tilted his head as he moved, gesturing for you to follow him to the kitchen. you nudged mingyu with your hip as you settled against the counter next to him to watch jeonghan make a drink for you. he looked down at you, then put an arm on your shoulder as he sipped the wine he had brought, and you noticed jihoon had a matching glass. you smiled proudly.

"mingyu?" jeonghan asked, gesturing.

you nodded, then looked up at your best friend. "this is jeonghan," you said, pointing.

mingyu smiled at him. "good luck with this one. jihoon, this is my worst friend, y/n."

"i'm also the reason he's here," you said, leaning forward to direct the speech at boy you were being introduced to. "you're welcome."

jihoon looked at you, mouth parted into an almost smile. his eyes went to jeonghan, remembering their conversation the day before, then to mingyu again, who was covering his eyes with a palm in embarrassment. "this is why they're my worst friend."

jeonghan laughed, pulling your attention back as he popped open a soda with a bottle opener. "so you're like this with everyone?"

"i’m sure i don't know what you mean," you quipped, sliding out from mingyu's arm to grab the bottle and inspect the label. "jah…ritos?"

"jarritos," jeonghan corrected, pronouncing the h sound. "mexican grapefruit soda. it's the best for palomas."

"see, this is why people think you're a prick," you said, putting the bottle back on the counter. "you get fancy soda specifically for your fancy cocktails."

he just laughed at you as he poured tequila from a bottle into two cups of ice. "if i cared what people thought, i would have changed my ways years ago."

you let that marinate for a moment, then decided the two of you were much more similar than you had originally thought. he grabbed the bowl of cut lime wedges that seungcheol had prepared and squeezed two into each cup, and you watched as he topped the drinks with the soda.

"can you handle heat?"

you looked at him. "that's a loaded question."

he laughed again, and you wondered how many palomas he had before you arrived. "i like chili on the lime, but i wanted to be nice and ask before i did it for you, too."

"i'll try anything once."

then you tried it again.

and again.

jeonghan really was charming, you thought. and pretty. and he had a lovely voice.

at some point, soonyoung found you again, just to waggle his eyebrows at jeonghan when he thought you weren't looking, and you got introduced to seungcheol, who you both recognized and were recognized by. jeonghan rolled his eyes and shoved him away when he gave him a look, remembering how he described you at the bar ages ago.

you barely even noticed the time passing, but your drinks kept draining and you kept accepting more, and you wondered if you were really stupid enough to say yes if he asked you to join him in his bedroom tonight. but the more jeonghan talked, the more you were kind of okay with the idea.

"do you wanna get out of here?"

you blinked, chin in your palm and elbow on the counter, face inches from jeonghan's as he put down his cup. "and go where?"

he pouted as he thought. "i could really go for tteokbokki right now."

at that moment, you decided jeonghan really liked you. you grinned. "that sounds so good."

he smiled back at you, and you didn't comment on the way his eyes lingered on your lips, even if you really wanted to. "better tell your chaperone."

you rolled your eyes at the title mingyu had given himself earlier when he was trying to convince you to not take a fourth drink. "don't let his stupid height trick you, he's more of a lightweight than me."

"at least you don't have to worry about him, jihoon would never try anything. the poor guy is so shy, he was probably flustered just when mingyu said hi."

you quirked an eyebrow at him. "does he have to worry about me?"

jeonghan laughed. "if i wanted to get you drunk, i would have poured heavier."

"speaking of," you said, tipping your cup. "this one suspiciously tasted like not tequila."

he stood suddenly, palms on the counter, trying to force down the blush on his ears. "if you're gonna complain about every drink i make you, maybe you should stop asking for them."

you giggled, standing and imitating his stance. "just admit you care about me, yoon jeonghan."

he looked at you, a smile teasing his lips. "only after you admit you're in love with me."

you squinted. "a draw."

he grinned. "tteokbokki?"

[luminescencefics]

fade in, fade out - part eleven preview

February 2019

Nora stares at the familiar envelope placed on Scott’s granite countertop, the white paper practically blinding against the green, black, and tan smooth rock.

Her arms are folded over her front stubbornly, ignoring her own handwriting in black ink and focusing instead on the capitalized RETURN TO SENDER stamped underneath in thick, red font.

Her phone is placed parallel to the envelope on the countertop, her screen staring at her as her eyes flit between both objects. She reads the words Styles and Forty-Eight and Hampstead Heath, scowling incessantly when the bold lettering from the Royal Mail overtakes her neat, loopy scrawl.

With an exasperated sigh, she unfurls her arms from her chest and places them on the edge of the counter, her knuckles gripping the granite so tightly that they turn white underneath the tight skin. She stares at her phone, muttering a quiet, “Fucking hell,” before snatching it with her right hand and dialing the third number on her favortites list.

“Afternoon, Rah!” Niall bellows through the receiver after four subsequent rings.

“Evening, Niall,” Nora responds, acknowledging their time zone difference like they normally do whenever they phone each other. It’s just another reminder that her best friend’s are not only eight hours ahead, but also over five thousand miles away, too.

“Why are you answering Piper’s phone?” Nora asks, turning on her heel so that her backside is resting against the counter, the unsightly envelope completely out of her line of vision.

“She’s in the loo. What can I help you with?” Niall asks cheekily.

Nora sighs so loudly that Niall chuckles through the receiver.

“Christ, that doesn’t sound good. You sure yer okay over there, Rah?” Niall asks.

“Yeah, I’m alright. It’s just—” Nora pauses, unsure of how to vocalize her frustrations properly without sounding like a brat.

“Rah?” Niall prompts.

With one last sigh, Nora gets over her inner turmoil and just blurts out her reason for calling.

“Does Harry not want to come to the premiere? I know things are awkward between us, but he didn’t even accept the tickets I mailed over. He sent them back without saying anything. Am I—Christ, have I ruined things between us that badly?”

Niall’s silent on the other line, and Nora’s almost positive her lungs stop producing air while she waits for his response impatiently.

“He hasn’t said anything to Pipes or I,” Niall says easily after a minute, causing Nora’s nose to scrunch in confusion. “Did you send it to his old address by accident?”

“Old address?” Nora echoes.

Niall chuckles. “Yeah. Curly moved to Primrose Hill last April. Not long after our wedding, actually.”

Nora freezes, feeling an uncomfortable weight press down on her chest.

It’s not like she would have heard of the news anyway, considering she blocked his number the moment she fled London over five years ago and never felt the need to call him in all the time that transpired. 

She doesn’t remember the last time she went on Facebook—her account has long since been deactivated ever since Variety published her name in an article about her film. Her Instagram has transformed from a post-grad sharing pictures of her friends and her childhood beachfront town, to a perfectly curated grid of photographs guaranteed to receive thousands of likes ever since the blue checkmark appeared near her username. She doubts Harry would even have an account, let alone follow her, so she truly has no way of hearing about any updates surrounding his life if not from secondhand information distributed from Piper and Niall.

There’s also the added fact that she showed up at his Hampstead Heath townhouse at three in the morning unannounced, asking him if he still loved her when she had no claim on him in the first place.

Nora doesn’t blame him for moving after that, either.

“Oh,” Nora says through an exhale. She’s not really sure what else there is to say.

“He wanted a place closer to his father’s office. His whole plan of being on the board of directors before he’s thirty and all that.” Niall throws in a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. “His old place was too small for him anyways. His own fault for being a fuckin’ giant.”

Nora forces out a laugh, appreciating Niall’s attempt to try to make her feel better.

“Could you, uh, tell me his new address? So I can resend the invitations?” Nora asks, her figurative tail tucked neatly in between her legs.

Niall’s silent for so long that Nora has to pull her phone away from her ear just to check that their call was still connected.

All of a sudden, Niall’s cheerful tone floats through the receiver, and Nora wonders what on earth he’s scheming in that big head of his.

“Hmm, I can’t actually remember, Rah. Pipes and I have been so busy, barely have had the time to head over to his place for dinner parties.” Nora rolls her eyes so ferociously that she can feel the migraine forming in her temporal lobe. “If Pipes wasn’t still in the loo, I’d ask her.”

“Niall—”

“—Why don’t you give him a call! I’ve actually gotta run, the dog’s been barkin’ and it’s my turn to let him out,” Niall says quickly, and Nora tries to interrupt again, informing him that she hasn’t heard a dog barking in the background of their call at all.

“His number’s the same. Have a great day, Rah!” Niall says, hanging up before Nora can wish him a proper goodnight.

Nora stares at her phone for so long that the screen has already faded to black and she can see her wide-eyed expression looking right back at her through the reflective glass. She’s not sure what she’s waiting for—a sign? For Harry to sense that she needs to call him from across the Atlantic? For Niall to call her back and take her out of her misery?

She’s been hunched over her phone for so long that her lower back starts to ache, and with what feels like the hundredth heavy sigh leaving her lips, she scrolls though her blocked numbers list and clicks on Harry’s, bringing her phone to her ear without hesitating a moment longer.

Thankfully, he doesn’t make her wait long. Two rings later, Nora practically feels her spine tingle when his gruff voice falls through her receiver.

“Nora?”

***

Part Eleven: The Redemption will be posted on Friday, July 16th

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