#long shitpost

[cr2032powered]

It's 4 am and got too into this

Bonus with two researchers that amuse me:

[makode-name]

Alliance Flying Creatures Headcanon

comic relief in 3...2....1.... Are you feeling a little lack of creatures living on the Odessen?

Have you ever wondered if it's strange, that during the establishing of Odessen's Alliance base staff didn't stumble upon any notable creature living in the mountains? Well so did I And came up with The birb -----------------------------------------------------------------

Sa'hau/Sahau (from broken catharese "sky arrow" or arrow bird), also known as fish bird is a reptavian native to the Odessen. The name comes from when the creature was first observed, diving under the water of one of the mountain lakes. Diving creature bears close resemblance to an arrow with it's sharp beak and feathered tail. Despite nesting in the caves high above the ground, sahau do find themselves occasionally hunting in the forests for smaller creatures. Sahau coats come in various shades of green, brown, yellow, gray and blue with different stripe and dot patterns. Their beak "ring" spot on the other hand comes in all known colours. They have sort of feather "mane" resting along their neck and are capable of raising it as an umbrella. Such "mane" serves as an attraction attribute during mating time and a warning or a threat display when sahau is confronted or is feeling uncomfortable.

Soooo ofc cause of Palladi's love to all sorts of animals absolutely not catching them by himself for his own Force bonding expirements's sake (how terrible) and because of the need to traverse Odessen's land fast and relatively safe he's just been like

and so the domestication of flying Odessen dinosaurs began

or better to say, a prolific partnership.

Tho the birbs look like they will eat you and all your family in one turn they turned out to be prone to learning and further training.

here I have Palladi to show off his Toruk Makto riding skills

Being quite social, sahau made up themselves a reputation of loyal companions, assisting locals in fishing and sometimes even hunting, serving patrol duties along side with their riders and in general being fast and furious mounts.

Birb is helping, not stealing! no no.

Ah, the riders! Due to this whole bonding idea a dedicated Alliance force was established consisting mostly of Force-users and Force-sensitives who have been trained to create special bond with creatures.

ye I just slapped the rifle on, I didn't even pretend

Judging from the name they are, well, armed with special spears, that, upon being thrown, open its "claws" or "jaws", puncture target's armour with its middle needle (hehe) and release a shock charge.

Oh look! This mirialan made himself tattoos alike sahau wings, each "feather" is achievement with his flying buddy.

They come in white and og black (I guess), and some jewelry prefered by a rider (just examples).

Thank you!!!!💜

[themxtleycrew]

"Which one of you was going to tell me tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?"

"Y-You were putting it in cold water?!"

"Kainé! Answer the question, Kainé!"

"Yeah??? I thought for like, five years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the 'tea-ification' process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason."

"You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 MINUTES!?"

"WHY ARE YOU PUTTING IT IN THE MICROWAVE TO BOIL IT?!"

"Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?"

"It takes less than a minute!"

"Ema Skye, is your stovetop powered by the fucking SUN?!"

"How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?!"

"Seven minutes."

"Just stick the mug on the top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like two minutes! Less than that if you use a saucepan."

"You're putting the whole mug on the stove? ON MEDIUM HEAT?! Your stove IS enchanted!"

"Everyone at this table is a fucking lunatic."

"DO NONE O' YOU LOT OWN A FOOKIN' KETTLE?!"

[sergkonch]

Ещё предупреждения: много грамматических и логических ошибок!! Смотрите и читайте на свой страх и риск!!

Хочу немного поразгонять про типы фигур в УДИВИТЕЛЬНОМ ЦИФРОВОМ ЦИРКЕ ЯППИИИ

Начнем с того, что уцц максимально не подходящий проект для подобного рода форса, но... КТО-НИБУДЬ ВООБЩЕ ЗАМЕЧАЛ, ЧТО КЕЙН САМЫЙ ФИГУРИСТЫЙ из всего циркового состава?? Ну... в плане, у него единственного она явно выражена: грудь, талия и [хяли]ножки. Везде хорош.

Хочу подметить, что у Кейна при всем этом наборе не чисто женская или мужская фигура. Можно назвать его унисекс. В принципе это сходиться с тем, что он не-мужчина и не-женщина, он вне гендера [чуваки, Кейн е[баны]й аи, какие нафиг гендеры только местоимени и то любые!!]

Можно ли это назвать каноном?? Я не знаю, но это как минимум мой хед.

Ладно... вернёмся к неженско и немужской фигуре. Я бы поделил Кейна вот так:

Верхняя часть больше мускульная широкие плечи... да, выпирающая грудная клетка, но женской грудью я назвать этого не могу.

Нижняя феминная [без всяких подтекстов вы балбесы]

Забавно то, что Кейн за фемели-френдли, "удивительный цифровой цирк для всех возрастов" и все такое, но он сам как будто создан объектом правила 34 😔😔

Что насчёт остальных членов цирка?

Рагата. Хоть она внешне больше всех похожа на человека, но какой-то явной фигурой не обладает, хотя это не точно, ведь платье довойно объемное. Но учитывая, что она буквально тряпичная кукла, я сомневаюсь, что под ним будет что-то не похожее на мешок с ватой.

Джакс. Местный тамблерсексимен, которого я могу назвать абсолютно плоским. Нет, не поймите меня неправильно, ничего не имею против Джакса и его фанатов, но это вроде как канон. Он плоский и вытянутый, как будто после тыпки на дыбе, просто посмотрите на его [и это ваш кумир??]

Помни. У нее есть фигура, но как бы странно это не звучало мужская. Тело помни как трапеция, но перевёрнутая [забыл как ��азывается]

Гангл. У нее в принципе нет гуманоидного тела. Но ее ленты сужаются к низу, так что по-сути ситуация как с Помни.

Зубл. Не ожидаешь здесь их увидеть вообще, да? И это самое смешное... но я могу назвать их внешность феминной. Только потому, что основное тело, на котором крепятся все конечности имеет выгнутую форму. И получается так, что у Зубл есть что-то наподобие груди и асс

Кингер. Он как джакс, но цилидровидный??? [есть такое слово???] Ничего более сказать не могу... [а так жаль он мой шугардеди номер два]

Баббл. Джаст Бабель.

Это все мои тараканы в голове и возможно температура сорян.

Ничего не навязываю!!! Доброе утро!... или че там у вас

[bookwyrminspiration]

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

[demonicsuffrage]

By some supernatural accident, Batman and Superman swap bodies. But the accident was just so embarassing that they collectively decided to NOT tell anyone about, and figure out how to reverse it all on their own. But, unfortunately, this means they now have to keep up this farce in front of their families

Clark, in Bruce's body, wiping some blood off his mouth and wincing at the 15 cracked ribs he now has: Guess I can bleed, huh

Dick, staring in disbelief after the patrol: YES OFCOURSE YOU CAN!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU THROW YOURSELF DIRECTLY ON TOP OF A GRENADE-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, in Clark's body, squinting at the bright smallville sun at the Kent farm: This is way too much for 11 am

Jon, staring at his newly grumpy dad: I think batman is a bad influence on you, dad

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clark in Bruce's body, staring at his reflection in the mirror: The shoulder to waist ratio is insane, such a grabbable waist

Poor Tim, who accidentally overheard this, getting ready to call Arkham: Uhuh it's definitely, insane

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kon: And so I said, ofcourse, i would love the soup-er salad!

Bruce in Clark's body, deadpan expression on his face:

Kon: Get it? Soup-er salad?

Bruce: Yes

Kon, sad puppy expression: You always laugh at soup puns :(

Bruce, now with an Extremely Forced little smile: Yes it was very....funny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clark, in Bruce's body, rushing to hug a visibly bleeding Jason who walked into the cave after patrol: What happened?! Are you okay?

Jason, freezing up because the last time Bruce ran to hug him was, never:

Clark, immediately backing up, and speaking with a deliberately gruff voice: I mean. Is the blood yours? Son.

Jason:...no

[bisexualvader]

[wellfine]

Au fucking revoir Mister Prince

[violent138]

Bruce showing someone his kids' pictures from when they were little: "And this is Jason--"

Jason: "That's a picture of Tim, actually--"

Bruce, fumbling with his wallet: "This is Barbara when she was younger--"

Babs: "Steph isn't even a redhead, how are you messing this up?"

Bruce: "This is Cass--"

Steph: "That's literally a cropped baby picture of you. What are you doing?"

Bruce: "You can't see it fully but this is Alfred with Dick--"

Damian: "That used to be a picture of me and Grandfather."

Bruce: "Here's a picture of Tim."

Batkids: *examining it*

Tim: "That... actually could be anyone."

Damian, simultaneously: "It's not ugly enough for Drake."

Bruce, oblivious to the fight breaking out: "And this is Duke."

Duke, spitting out water when he sees it: "How the hell do you have that?"

Dick: "Well at least he's two for ten."

Jason, going through the photos: "Why are some of these fucking stock photos?"

Dick: "You think that's bad? He's got a picture from the circus with Tim circled in the crowd."

[exe-whyzy]

NO STARSCREAM NOT LIKE THAT

i almost did it the other way around but the idea of this being starscream’s hallucination was too silly not to draw

it is my personal opinion that starscream would learn earth slurs specifically for this occasion

(credit to @/Funkiidoinkz on twitter for the original idea)

without the speech bubbles bcz i spent too much time rendering to not show it off ..

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

[kalactic]

Idk, I saw this in a server and got inspired.

[crayonsquadlilac]

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

Of the 19 hijackers who carried out the Sept 11 attacks:

15 were from Saudi Arabia (a powerful/oil-rich country the U.S. works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with)

2 were from the United Arab Emirates (also a powerful/oil-rich country the U.S. works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with)

1 was from Egypt, 1 from Lebanon.

None of the hijackers were from Iraq.

None of the Sept 11 hijackers were Iraqi.

None of the 9/11 hijackers were from Iraq.

[anbaisai]

ace you can't just ask something like that

[bigfatbreak]

took a break today and drew some memes pardon