#lord if i was mitski and saw what they were doing to my songs on tiktok.

[grecoromanyaoi]

ok actual last post but my main problem w the xcore approach to art is that its not even enjoying art on a "surface level" bc it doesnt focus on or even acknowledge the emotion or idea or statement it's meant to convey but rather on a certain aesthetic theyre trying cultivate

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

Replica (Part 3)

Summary: It seems even the primarch doesn't understand who you are to him.

Perturabo/fem!Reader

Warnings: incest (kinda), possessive behavior, manipulation, hint of masturbation.

Word Count: 2397

While I was writing this part, I was listening "Darren Korb - Song of the Sirens". Hope you enjoy it.

Song: Mitski - Washing Machine Heart

Perturabo fulfilled his promise. No one else dared to offend or touch you. All serfs knew this and even the Space Marines had to reckon with it. You still couldn’t figure out how you managed to earn such an attitude from the Primarch of the Iron Warriors. But you don't want to complain, just enjoy your new life.

You began to live next to the Iron Lord in the next room. It had already amazed you with size and wealth, but this was not enough for the primarch. He began to reinterpret it, adding new details that, according to him, you should like. No, he knew you would be delighted with them.

Even your wardrobe has undergone changes. No more gray serf robes. Although you weren’t able to wear such strict and sophisticated outfits as the girls from Olympia. Instead of complex hairstyles, your hair was always loose or tied up in something simple. When Perturabo first saw you like this, he was about to reprimand you, but in the end he changed his mind.

You even got two servants. You tried to resist such innovations, but the primarch refused your request. After all, a girl of your position is supposed to have maids. Besides, if you refuse, the serfs will be sent to do hard work. You didn't get to experience such life, but you heard enough from the other slaves to make your skin crawl. Seeing the fear in your eyes, Perturabo grinned, noticing that you were always kind.

Sometimes you forget about his other side.

You were also aware that the primarch continued to attack Imperial worlds, taking resources in the form of fuel and people for the Iron Blood. He consumed all living things and left hell behind. It was frightening and devastating. You should have felt disgust and pure horror towards him. But as soon as you saw the primarch again, only tenderness remained in your soul. Perturabo continued to pamper you in every possible way with an absolutely stoic face.

Although sometimes you were puzzled by him. Once he told you about the customs of Olympia, when mature young men chose a new name for themselves. Perturabo, of course, refused to follow this rule and you shook your head and whispered his name. At this moment, the man tensed and looked at you. Closely and deciding.

“Perhaps you would like to undergo this ritual?” - the primarch began carefully. You became nervous at how slowly he chose his words. As if afraid of your reaction. And it’s not clear which one exactly. - “I know a suitable name.”

“But I’m not a young man. Besides, I like my name. Do you like it?” - You smiled softly at the man, gently placing your small hand on his. The Iron Lord looked at it and then into your eyes. Did you imagine or did you see a mixture of disappointment and relief? It was as if he himself was not sure what answer he wanted to hear.

"Yes. It's very beautiful".

Finding yourself in the primarch's favor, you nevertheless spent all your time only with yourself or with the Iron Lord. But soon Perturabo completely forbade you to leave your room under any pretext. According to the lord, Iron Blood will have to go to a rather dangerous place and not alone. Moreover, the primarch's companion is an extremely pretentious person whom you should not have met. You soon learned from the maids that he was talking about Fulgrim.

There was a strange tension in the air. Unnatural. It tastes disgusting. Your slaves told you that Perturabo's guest behaves absolutely terribly, throwing away his own and Iron warriors as well as toys. As for the Emperor's Children, they no longer looked like perfect warriors. You tried to find out the details, but the serfs fell silent.

You think that was the last time you saw them. Later they disappeared and a servitor began to serve you. All you could do about this was cry into your pillow. You really didn’t want to be alone and you hoped that you could protect these girls. You disered to befriend with them. Now your only company is a slave of flesh and metal. And your food has acquired a reddish tint and a strange iron taste. But you had to give it credit, you felt much healthier after every meal.

This went on for some time and you got used to the new daily routine... until one day the primarch came into your room. Only it wasn't Perturabo.

“I knew that he was hiding something valuable from me, but I could not even think about it,” Fulgrim spoke with a grin.

You felt the stench. A sickeningly cloying smell, as if the primarch had gone too far with perfume. And not only with them. His entire face was covered in powder, and his whole appearance screamed defiantly. He stood and looked at you like you were a bug, barely holding back his laughter.

“So many worlds, so many solar systems. Billions, trillions of lives. But still he met you.” - an evil grimace painted the primarch’s face, and a long tongue crawled across his lips. You cringed. He reminded you more of a snake than a demigod. - “But you are different. I wonder what he does to you.”

"Nothing. We're just talking. I-I,” you started to stutter, unable to handle the pressure. And how could you explain to Fulgrim your relationship with Perturabo if you yourself did not fully understand it. You couldn't say that you were his friend? It is unthinkable for a demigod to be friends with a mere mortal girl. He had his own reason for keeping you with him and you would never dare ask him about it.

“You, you.” - The primarch knelt down and took your chin. It was as if he was feeding on your fear, enjoying your trembling and appearance. - “Don’t whine. Give me your attention, which my brother lacks so much, imperfect replica.”

“Get out.”

Fulgrim didn't even have time to turn around or stand up before the Iron Lord picked him up by the scruff of the neck like a kitten and threw him into the corridor. You covered your mouth with your hands, holding back a scream. Throwing an unreadable look at you, Perturabo walked out into the corridor, closing the door behind him. You saw no more of the primarch of the Emperor's Children. But you heard his groans and cries of pain while Perturabo beated him.

You've never been so terrified. It seemed to you as if all the Iron Blood was rusting from the surge of emotions. Once again you heard the sounds of beating, but this time you were not the cause of the quarrel between the brothers. A couple of times the ship entered into battle, but you couldn’t even see them because your window was tightly sealed and you were hiding under the blanket. But you heard, you felt. It was driving you crazy.

And yet, after some time, everything calmed down. It was as if everyone had died. Until the primarch came to your chambers. He sat down loudly on the bed and your heart bled with pity. He looked so tired, as if every second he was carrying a huge stone on his shoulders. The already gray eyes dimmed.

“He betrayed me” - you didn’t even have to ask who exactly. Your hands began to tremble on their own as soon as you remembered that carnivorous look. - “My brother wanted me dead. He didn't receive it. Lost honor. But he became perfect.”

The man whispered the last word with contempt and looked at you. His face took on a strange expression and you thought he was going to cry.

“But you won’t leave me?”

"No, of course not". - You couldn’t hold back your tears. You began to sob even more when the primarch's hand began to stroke your hair. He did it so carefully and easily, trying not to break you. Surrounded by nothing but iron, you were now nothing but flesh and blood. Alive.

Everything was supposed to return to its place, and the meeting with Fulgrim was to be forgotten like a bad dream. You started visiting his workshop again, talking about everything in the world. You didn’t bring up the topic of your slaves, strange food, and especially not about his brother. You just couldn't make him sad. Or angry.

Moreover, every day the primarch became gloomier and depressed. You heard how he took out his anger on everything he could get his hands on. The screams of the serfs. And once he scolded the Iron Warrior right in front of you. You felt in your gut how the Space Marine felt shame while Perturabo humiliated him in front of a mortal girl.

You didn't know how to explain it, but your relationship had also changed. Perturabo has let you into his life again. But it was as if he had built a wall. Even if you now had lunch with him. And he carefully made sure that you ate all your rations. He let you take a nap in his chair. Taught you how to make simple things. He started asking you to do other duties. And you were only happy to please him.

You didn’t notice how only you two were left.

The primarch was very tired. He didn't tell you much about his research. But all you cared about was that he finally rested. So now you served him fruit and wine while he took a bath. The murmur of warm water and puffs of steam completely engulfed the chambers, creating the illusion of safety. There was no war, no suffering and no smell of burning iron. Just completely calm.

While the primarch was soaking in the bath, leaning his elbows on the bars, you sat next to him on the pillows. He remained silent, and you continued to chirp about the recent book he gave you to read. You were delighted with the Olympian poetry, but this did not surprise Perturabo at all.

"Help me". - the primarch croaked. You, relaxed, looked at him. Without the implants on his head, he looked less intimidating. In addition, he recently decided to grow a beard, as was customary at Olympia.

Seeing him pointing at the oils made you smile. Iron Within, Iron Without? You were ready to argue with this statement as you soaped the man’s shoulders, feeling him relax under your touch. No, he is not alien to softness, but he is trying to hide it behind seven locks. You understood that you loved him as a friend. Like a brother.

Suddenly you felt the man tense. You looked at him perplexed until you heard his whisper.

“Come down.”

You involuntarily licked your lips. You carefully lowered your feet into the water. You didn’t want to get your dress wet, but you didn’t want to be left without it even more. Even if many serfs could go without clothes and there was a demigod in front of you, you could not cope with shyness.

The man was reclining and you could almost reach his chin. But only almost. You felt his eyes touch you and pursed your lips. Trying not to pay attention to the strange tension, began to soap his shoulders and torso. Gradually, the awkwardness passed and you almost decided to continue the conversation, but made a mistake.

You looked straight into his eyes.

Can steel burn? The primarch's gray eyes turned into two lights. The man clenched his jaw, but he didn't look angry. With your palms you felt his body tense and he leaned towards you. A shadow fell on your face, absorbing your entire insides. A little more and you will fall into the abyss.

Breath hitched and a squeak escaped your lips. The man continued to take your space. His hand landed on your back. It almost hurt. You tried to say his name, but only one syllable came out.

“Bo.”

Suddenly everything stopped. Few would have believed you, but you clearly saw the shock on the primarch’s face. He was dumbfounded, his lips trembling. You could almost hear his heartbeat.

"Leave me." - Perturabo was still holding your back, loosening his grip. Seeing that you were still standing, he frowned and turned away from you like a child. “NOW!”

Stunned, you had no choice but to leave the primarch alone with himself. Alone with thoughts.

***

He couldn't get this image out of his head. Rosy cheeks, gentle eyes, small hands on his body. That tousled hair and those clothes falling awkwardly off your shoulders. He saw you, but he also saw her. He heard you sigh, but he heard her say his name. You both merged into one.

Perturabo didn't know how to describe his feelings at that moment, but he wanted to break you. Strangle. No. Squeeze in a hug. Save her image or, on the contrary, destroy her so that only you remain. You're almost the same. Almost. You are imperfect.

“She’s not your sister, you know that, right?”

“So pretty.”

“Imperfect.”

Yes, you were imperfect. You were supposed to be a copy, a replacement. You had her eyes, facial expressions, body, voice. You even loved the same things. But it was still different in some ways. Be it the way you wore your dresses and carried yourself at ease. How you remained silent when he said things she didn't like.

You won't contradict him. You support. You respect. You obey. You love him.

He hated you for it.

He adored you for it.

Perturabo still could not throw out the words of his traitor brother, continuing to replay them in his head. He knew this. He couldn't explain the desire he felt. He loved her. And he loved you too. But differently. Quite different.

The primarch felt not only his hearts, but also his body being overcome by a previously unfamiliar desire. He had no choice but to surrender to it and throw out the accumulated tension. Take relief.

He was grateful that you left. You should not see him in such a state, in such an action. The primarch took a deep breath, remembering your voice like a siren's song. How deeply you have sunk your roots into his soul.

Yes, you were more than a replica.

[nnnyxie]

Izu hc’s but it’s insecure!izu and reader comforting him- I just need to know about his sad days and what he needs us to do for him because I’ll so anything to get that smile back on his face<3 God I love Izu sm I could cry

SOBS!!! my heart!!!!

first of all. he’s so ‘i bet on losing dogs’ by mitski core. that song is just so him because i said so!!

our lovely boy has always worn a brave face. only ever being truly vulnerable with his mom, all might, and yourself.

he’s truly strong in many senses— physical, emotional, and mental. but sometimes, he just can’t do it. sometimes he doesn’t feel strong enough to hold himself up high yk?

and that’s okay!! because he doesn’t need to constantly overwork his emotions just so his friends and others could be happy!! he needs a break too and you need him to understand!!!

it’s always heartbreaking to see him cry though— you’re an avid supporter of expressing your emotions in a healthy way!! but, he’s your izuku and you always want the best for him.

one day, he doesn’t show up to all might’s training lesson— that in itself is a worry. but, maybe he’s feeling sick? you know he gets sick easily— especially since he trains in the cold a lot and somehow still hasn’t built a sort of immunity against it.

though— even if he were to be sick, he’d still show up. so maybe it’s bad? and that worsens your worries. so, you drop your training with ochako and rushed to him.

you knock on his door, softly the first time. the second time, it’s a little louder than before. still no answer. the third time is loud enough to wake his classmates three doors down. still no answer.

you try his door knob— unlocked? that was unlike izuku. he was slightly paranoid (especially ever since the cheese incident). so you were quick to barge in, what if he had gotten hurt?

when you turned to see his bed— you saw him curled into a ball, holding one of your sweatshirts. he liked doing that so you felt a bit relieved.

“izuku?” you asked but, all you got in return was a sad whimper and a sniffle. you were quick to rush to his side.

“what’s going on?” you rubbed his back— he had been facing the wall. “i just—” he let out a sob.

oh. it was an episode.

“it’s alright, izu. you don’t need to tell me right now. just let it all out.” you moved yourself so that you could hold him from behind. his body shook— it was so heartbreaking to watch— and feel.

the two of you stayed like that for at least an hour— izuku sobbing with you rubbing his arm and kissing his shoulder in comfort.

“i don’t— i don’t feel like i belong in UA. even after all this time i still— i still feel so inferior to everyone. i feel so behind in everything.” he said, still hiccuping from his breakdown.

he was calmer now, thankfully. but, tears spilt now and then. “izu, you worked so hard to get here, you’re far beyond what everyone here has become. you worked for hours and months to eat a damn hair that could’ve easily torn your limbs off.” he laughed a bit at that.

“you built yourself from the ground up. you worked your ass off to get here. you’re so much stronger than anyone here. and i really mean it.” you kissed his shoulder again and pulled him closer.

“thank you,” he said in a raspy voice, he moved so that he could face you— still clutching your sweatshirt.

“you don’t need to thank me, izu. i’m stating what i believe, i’m stating the truth. you’re the strongest,” you smiled at him— and good lord he almost killed you when he smiled back.

SHAKING SOBBING CLAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!!

[starkskeep]

But if you hold me without hurting me (r. stark)

But if you hold me without hurting me r. stark imagine

Pt. 5 of Oh, all I used to do was pray, Right when I felt the moment stop, And I might be ok, but I'm not fine at all, And the life I gave away

Pairings - Robb Stark x female!Reader

Summary - You have a long-awaited conversation with Robb. It changes things between the two of you.

Word Count - 1,133 words

Warnings - Angst, Possibly unbearable cheesiness

A/N - I broke the Taylor Swift title streak. In my defense, I have been a LDR stan since middle school and Cinnamon Girl makes me sob every time I listen to it.

Songs I listened to while writing: Like Real People Do (Hozier), Cinnamon Girl, Carmen (Lana Del Rey), Me and My Husband (Mitski)

Robb feels his heart start to beat erratically as he watches you and Jon. It is obvious that you care deeply about Jon as he does you. Robb knows that he has walked in on something private, feeling jealous but also wishing that he could be the one to comfort you as such. Your moment with Jon is interrupted when Robb clears his throat in order to make you aware of his entrance into your chambers. The sound startles you and causes you to turn in Robb’s direction. Jon also turns to look at Robb, his expression wary that Robb would misinterpret the scene.

Robb begins to speak slowly but his voice cracks ever so slightly, his heart contracting in his chest due to an onslaught of emotions. “Am I interrupting anything?”

You quickly regain your composure. “No, my lord husband, you are not. I lost a letter earlier today. Jon has calmed me down and agreed to help look for it.” You dismiss Jon from your chambers, assuring him that you will be okay. 

Jon locks eyes with Robb as he leaves. Tensions eased between him and Robb once he saw Robb trying to fix everything. However, Jon still continues to be an advocate for you. His brother looks back at him, eyes filled with questions he knows Jon cannot answer. Robb just needs to know that you are going to be okay, regardless of what happened. 

Your husband takes a step closer to you. He looks into your eyes, searching for the pain that he knows must be there. You are a strong woman but no one should be subjected to the kind of abuse that the letter contained. As he moves closer, you notice the letter crumpled in Robb’s fist. “Ah. It seems as I I do not need to search for the letter.” You say with a sad smile, “I take it that you have seen what my father thinks of me?”

Looking down at the letter once again, Robb scowls. The fury that had been burning inside of him returns to the surface. His head shakes in disgust and he quickly closes his fist tighter around the letter, as if the action would make the item disappear from existence. Robb nods once in acknowledgment of her question. “I did. It is nothing less than disgraceful.” He draws his eyes up to meet yours. Robb’s voice shakes with thinly veiled anger. “Your father is a cruel, cruel man. To say such things to you, his own daughter…well, it is unforgivable.” He says the last word through gritted teeth.

You motion for Robb to sit next to you. In your almost year of marriage, this is the first time that you have actually asked him to be near you. It seems as if he has realized this fact as well if his hesitancy is anything to go off of. Robb’s nervous movements are in stark contrast to your controlled stillness. A couple moments pass between you two before you begin to talk. Long-awaited and much-needed words begin this conversation. “It’s cruel but what he says is true. I have failed in my duty as a wife. I should have given you an heir by now.” 

Completely stunned is how the maesters would describe Robb if they were here to record this meeting. You are still calling him your husband, even after everything he has done, but you are voicing something that Robb would never want to believe. Yes, it is a wife’s and therefore your duty to give him an heir, but he would never, never force you to conceive if you were not yet ready. He turns to face the fireplace, staring into the flickering flames as he realizes how truly damaged you have been from a childhood in the Frey household and the months as his wife. Both of you have tried to do everything that has been expected of you, yet it is you who has suffered the most and continues to endure. Robb is angry at the world. Angry at the cruel words of your father. Angry at himself for the way he has treated you. Sighing deeply, he speaks after gathering his emotions. “Do not let them make you believe that this is your fault. It takes two to make a child. I am just as much to blame for the situation we find ourselves in…” 

Robb’s words trail off when he feels you place your head on his shoulder. It seems to be a night of firsts. Much like you never asked him to be near you, you have never initiated any sort of physical comfort. You both enjoy the feeling until you bring Robb back to reality with your voice breaking the silence. “I don’t blame you for anything. I want you to know that. You were forced to marry me, forced to make me your queen, while you still loved Talisa. Why would you want to leave her side for a Frey, especially when Talisa was carrying your child? I ruined your life.”

Feeling a tear soak into the shoulder of his tunic, Robb tilts your head up so he can see you clearly. “You didn’t ruin my life. I made a deal with your father. I knew what I was agreeing to when I crossed the bridge.” He reaches his thumb to brush the tears off your face. “This is not your burden to bear. It is something we must share. Something we must work through so that we can grow together. Something I should have worked harder on at the beginning of our marriage.” Your husband sighs deeply and shakes his head, trying to accept how much he has just spoken. Robb comes to the startling realization that he has never voiced this sentiment to you before, much less even admitted it to himself. 

“Thank you. I need to hear those words said to me.” You say and place a gentle kiss on Robb’s cheek. A blush spreads across your face as you do so.

He freezes when he feels your lips brush against his skin. A matching pink tint blotches his cheeks like yours did. This is the first time you have shown affection for him and it feels…good. Robb smiles and leans over to place a kiss on your forehead, wanting to continue this newfound physical affection that you have started. “I’m here for you. I know I haven’t been in the past, but from this moment forward, I will always be here for you my queen.” The increased presence of his Northern accent betrays the emotions that are overwhelming him. Staring into your eyes, his gaze reveals nothing but honesty and sincerity in his gaze. Robb meant every word he said to you tonight. 

A/N - Once again, thank you so much for reading. My ask box is always open for requests, comments, or if just want to gush about our lovely Stark boys.

[us3rnam3-r3dact3d]

how do u come up with your titles? they read like song lyrics- and if they are could u drop the songs 👀👀++ to what extent does that song influence the story? (my bad if you've answered this before I have terrible memory)

-🦀

Ooohhh crab anon, the bag of worms you opened!! You are completely right, (almost) every title of my stories have come from song lyrics. And not only have I compiled the songs for you, I’ve written a lil blurb on why I chose that song and included recommended songs for each fic with applicable lyrics. I hope these satisfy!

another cup of wine | “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl” Looking Glass

Listen, I’m gonna be real with y’all. This one is just because Darlin’ and Sam drink wine out of cups instead of glasses. No deeper meaning here, just an applicable lyric I liked. The song does have a sort of swag and divorced dad rock vibe that I think Sam in particular would listen to.

Recommended listening

“He Needs Me” Shelly Duval

“I’ll take a chance / I will because he needs me”

“No Choir” Florence + the Machine

“And it’s hard to write about being happy / ‘cause the older I get / I find that happiness is an extremely uneventful subject”

the only anchor i have left | poem by Andrea Gibson

The only one not taken from a song. I’ll link the poem below. I think the whole thing is very good for Bright Eyes. Lost and anchorless without something to be angry about. A common Andrea Gibson slay.

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9548512-what-if-i-don-t-want-the-monster-to-stop-being

Recommended listening

“Your Needs / My Needs” Noah Kahan

“To see a friend, to see a ghost”

“your life, your dreams / your mind, your needs/ my needs. / Your needs, my needs.”

“Second Child, Restless Child” the Oh Hellos

“And they saw the trouble in my eyes / they were quick to recognize the devil in me.”

i always wanted to die (clean and pretty) | “Last Words of a Shooting Star” Mitski

One of two or three Mitski lyrics I’ve used since she is just so good. Tbh I don’t know where I was going or where I want to go with this one. The general vibes are… tragic. I might retool later on.

Recommended listening

“Lonesome Town” Ricky Nelson

“There’s a place where lovers go / to cry their troubles away / and they call it Lonesome Town / where the broken hearts stay”

“This Too Shall Pass” Danny Schmidt

“We think too big / we think our self is one whole thing / and we claim that this collection / has a name and is a being / but deep inside / when every cell divides / well, it sets upon the rule that states / self-interest is divine”

let this whole town hear your knuckles crack | “Damn These Vampires” the Mountain Goats

Somehow the only fic so far with a title from tMG, my favorite band of all time. I’m sure I’ll find more in time. This song has western vibes that I don’t think fits the DAMN crew very well, and somehow I paired this song in my one fic that doesn’t involve Sam. However, the vibes are immaculate.

Recommended listening

Seventeen Going Under” Sam Fender

“I was far too scared to hit him / but I would hit him in a heart beat now / that’s the thing with anger / it begs to stick around”

“Saint Bernard 2” by Lincoln

“Lord make me a liar ‘cause I swore to god / when swearing still felt like the truth”

it’s my gut i can’t ignore (i’m hungry) | “Gone, I’m Gone” Eva Noblezada and the cast of Hadestown.

Also surprising I haven’t used more broadway lyrics, but here we are. My absolute favorite musical which, in part, is about hunger driving you to do desperate things. This piece was so largely focused on food insecurity for me. Every chapter revolves around food to some degree, and even the metaphors and similes Angel uses to describe the world around them are tied to food. It’s something that those of us who grew up with food insecurity can relate to; when you’re hungry, everything reminds you of food. When you live hungry, it consumes your every thought. When Noblezada as Eurydice delivers the line “it’s my gut I can’t ignore / Orpheus, I’m hungry,” you can hear it in her voice. It’s worth a listen for that line alone.

“Abbey” Mitski

“I am hungry / I have been hungry / I was born hungry / what do I need”

“Class of 2013- Audiotree Live Version” Mitski

“Mom / will you wash my back this once / and then we can forget / and I’ll leave what I’m chasing / for the other girls to pursue”

as long as you’re with me (you’ll be just fine) | “Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby” Cigarettes After Sex

This whole song has excellent David vibes. The protectiveness, the quiet possession. He’s a soft soul at heart, I think, and this song fits well. This collection is one of my faves just because we get to see many different sides of him and ways in which he can be protective, possessive. From quiet reassurance to acts of service to beating the shit out of people. As long as his pack is with him, he will keep them safe.

Recommended listening

“Cold Cold Man” Saint Motel

“Oh my love / I know I am a cold, cold man / quite slow to pay you compliments / or public displayed affections. / But baby, don’t you go over analyze / no need to theorize / I can put your doubts to rest / You’re the only one worth seeing”

there is a light (i feel it in me) | “Abbey” Mitski

Already tied to this series, this Mitski song is just perfect. An exploration of how trauma can effect us in ugly ways, this piece pairs perfectly with Mitski’s music. This song explores the deep hunger within the singer, countered by the lightness she feels within herself. Angel, in this piece, is haunted by their hunger and treats David poorly because of it. The light that he shows them helps them to reach for the light within themself. We love healing in this house!!!

See the recommended songs under it’s my gut i can’t ignore (i’m hungry).

the rest of you, the best of you (honey belongs to me) | “NFWMB” Hozier

Oh boy I could go on for ages about Hozier. His songs are on almost all of my Redacted playlists and so I listen to his work pretty much every time I write for Redacted. His lyricism and prose are evident in my work, I think. This piece, one of Angel’s first indications of how protective David is, fits so well with this song. Swinging wildly between protectiveness and possessiveness, David mirrors the song’s progression throughout the piece. I think “Belongs to me” is the operative part of this title.

Recommended listening

“You’re Mine” Phantogran

“(No one’s gonna love you) / (No one’s gonna touch you) / ‘cause you’re mine! / (No one’s gonna look at you)”

“Always Forever” Cults

“You and me, always forever / We could stay alone together / You and me, always forever / Say you’ll stay, never be severed”

i assume you’ll be coming for blood (that makes two of us) | “Venom” Little Simz

Alright so… for real… this piece should have been named “is it wickedness? is it weakness?” after the first (or last, depending on how you play it) track on Kendrick Lamar’s “Damn.” That entire album is a work of art, and it can be played cohesively forward or backward, each play telling a different story. Forward is Kendrick’s life as it is, and backward is how it might have gone had his father died when he was young.

In this story, the inciting incident for Sweetness to be so different from the Sweetheart that we know is their mother dying when they were young. I’m positing here that Sweetheart in the main universe still has their mom and that’s why they’re kinder.

Anyway. I stand by “Venom” being a banger. It’s themes don’t run as cohesively with this story as Damn.‘s do, but I can live with it. For now.

Recommended listening

“Damn. Collectors Addition.” By Kendrick Lamar.

Yes the entire album. This particular edition, too, since it is the “wicked” timeline.

“Love’s gonna get you killed / but pride’s gonna be the death of you”

“United in Grief” Kendrick Lamar

“Pray none of my enemies / hold me captive / I grieve different”

remembering again the full extent of what forever is | “Through Me (The Flood)” Hozier

More Hozier! We know I love him and the new stuff he’s put out for Unreal Unearth and all of it’s EP’s are changing me fundamentally as a person. Hozier’s work has always connected with me deeply, all the way back to when I was a repressed queer kid listening to “Take Me To Church.” Now, as he’s putting out this big push of music, I’m finding myself connecting with the core of his music again. This song, a song about surrendering to the impossibility and incomprehensible nature of love, is perfect for William and Alexis. Will’s love for Alexis isn’t healthy, and it doesn’t lead him to sound choices, but he feels he has no choice. So he surrenders to it.

Recommended listening

“Eat Your Young” Hozier

“It’s a kindness / highness / crumbs enough for everyone / old and young are welcome to the meal”

“My Love Is Sick” Madds Buckley

“You’re an infection / I am keeping / No matter the sepsis / you are staying / I’d rather the wound / Than have you removed / Enough rotting for two / Killing me, keeping me high”

the world (it burns through me) | “Through Me (The Flood)” Hozier

Oh boy two for one! I for sure snagged this from the same song as the last piece I posted too. Yada yada surrendering to love and all of that. Love is something that’s has happened to Darlin, not something they have taken an active part in. They take the opposite message from William in this song; they fight the current, don’t let the world take them under. They are a fighter, in the end.

Recommended listening

Arsonists Lullaby” Hozier

“All you have is your fire / and the place you need to reach / don’t you ever tame your demons / but always keep them on a leash.”

“Problems” Mother Mother

“I’ve found love in the strangest place / ties up and branded / locked in a cage”

and my body remains (but the person is gone) | “Divine Loser” Clem Turner

Asher’s main trauma response in this piece is dissociation, pulling away from himself and his body to protect himself. While “Divine Loser” isn’t necessarily about dissociation, there are a number of apt lyrics that tie in with Ash in this story.

Recommended Listening

“To Someone From a Warm Climate (Uiscefhuaraithe)” Hozier

“You’d shake for minutes there and move your legs / wrap the blanket over you and keep your head within / let your breath heat the air until you’d feel it getting thin / Uiscefhuaraithe.”

“Wait” Get Set Go

“Wait, wait for the dawn, my dear / wait til the sun gets here / and you will wait too long / he will be gone”

when i call, you come home (a bird in your teeth) | “I Know The End” Phoebe Bridgers

Ooohhh boy! I love this song. Phoebe does something to me y’all. This song is sad, which makes it an interesting choice for a, generally, happy ending fic. This piece, like most things I write about the pack in childhood, is tinged with a sad sort of nostalgia. It’s the knowledge that we as readers have that, whatever comfort and love David gets from Gabe is temporary. We know how this story ends. We know that Gabe will die. And so even these happy moments are seen through that lens. I Know The End.

Recommended listening

“That Funny Feeling” Bo Burnham

“That unapparent summer air in early fall / the quiet comprehending of the ending of it all / there it is again, that funny feeling / that funny feeling.”

“Black Eyed Dog” Nick Drake

“I’m growing old and I wanna go home / I’m growing old and I don’t wanna know / I’m growing old and I want to go home / Black eyed dog, he called at my door / The black eyed dog he called for more.”

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

Theon survey songs + links:

@feed-me-a-penny and @team-mom-wannabe In case you still want to see the songs that have been submitted until now.

I found an acoustic version of the song Worms by Lolly Jane Blue on a Theon fan mix once and then lyrics really latched onto my Throne synapses! Very ADWD chapters, I think

The Lighthouse by Halsey; What the Water Gave Me by Florence; Piledriver Waltz by Arctic Monkeys; Ship to Wreck by Florence; Stone by Jaymes Young; Let Me Drown by Orville Peck; Atlantis by Seafret; Wade in the Water by Eva Cassidy; I Don't Want to Talk About Me by Stereo Jane; Sail Away Sweet Sister by Queen; and honestly every song on Everything Ends by Materia.

SOOO many. Ooohhh boy, I hope you like long answers, because you are going to hate me if you don't (you probably already do, I cannot shut up if I'm under the guise of anonymity lol). In terms of poetry, I will forever love this quote by Jenny Holzer: "In a dream you saw a way to survive and you were full of joy". It's so Theon, and I actually have it tattooed on me lol. Social Skills training is also a great poem for Theon ([PRIVATE INFORMATION]... hits so hard for so many reasons when paralleling w Theon), here are some raw verses: "Gloria Steinem says women lose power as they age and yet the loudest voice in my head is my mother. Studies show that the mother we have in mind isn't the mother that exists. Mine says: what the fuck are you crying for? / Studies show the baby monkey will pick the fake monkey with fake fur over the furless wire monkey with milk, without contest. Studies show to negate something is to think it anyway. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. / History is a kind of study. History says we forgave the executioner. Before we mopped the blood, we asked: Lord Judge, have I executed well? Studies suggest yes. What the fuck are you crying for, officer? The wire mother teaches me to say, while studies suggest, Solmaz, have you thanked your executioner today?" Just literally everything about that poem hits me right in the Theon feels. Like, are you kidding me? Then The House That Dripped Blood by Mountain Goats is great for imagining Theon circa his Prince in Winterfell era. The lyrics are all about a house haunted by the pain trapped in there, which seems perfect for Winterfell imo. Any Florence + The Machine, but Heavy In Your Arms for painful throbb feels. Would by Alice in Chains has the right mood and great lyricism for Theon/Reek angst too! Then Everyone's Victim by Lisa Germano just has the right mood I feel for thramsay stuff, same vein as Would by Alice in Chains.

pearl diver by mitski, he doesn’t know why by the fleet foxes, cocaine and abel by amigo the devil

So many, a bunch of guns n roses songs, and dead hearts by stars

Dio Ed Io by Charles Wright, there are more but I'm all burnt out typing AHHH!!!

Cry for Judas the mountain goats "long black night/morning frost/I'm still here/ but all is lost" There is a light that never goes out The smiths. Robb and Theon vibes "to die by your side/ is such a heavenly way to die"

“archers never made good kings, fly headfirst into everything” -archers, the ballroom thieves

Almost Human (Aurelio Voltaire) for the Lucifer association

Putting the dog to sleep by the antlers!

call them brothers - regina spektor (that’s it, it’s split, it won’t recover just frame the halves and call them brothers find your fathers and your mothers if you remember who they are over and over they call us their friends can’t we find something else to pretend? like nobody won and we’re safe at the end) that’s okay - the hush sound (you were a child who was made of glass you carried a black heart passed down from your dad if somebody loved you they’d tell you by now we all turn away when you’re down you want to go back to where you felt safe to hear your brother’s laughter, see your mother’s face your childhood home is just powder-white bones and you’ll never find your way back) house of wolves - my chemical romance (well, i think i’m gonna burn in hell everybody burn the house right down and say what i want to say tell me i’m an angel / take this to my grave tell me i’m a bad man / kick me like a stray) mama - my chemical romance (well mother, what the war did to my legs and to my tongue you should have raised a baby girl i should have been a better son if you can coddle the infection they can amputate at once i should have been - i should have been a better son) JUDAS - the reverent marigold (god knew his face and held it but it still didn’t save him and i see far horizons where the lambs lie with the lions but there are poppies growing over where my friends are lying and paul had an old name, but we never use it you may call me traitor but my lover calls me judas)

i have a playlist, some accidentally theon lyrics i enjoyed is bad medicine by liz green (...) For every man wants more than he, ever did before He’s still got no way out We’ve got no way out No way out We’ve got no way out of this So if my eyes turn black and my teeth fall out and my hairs caught up in rags Don’t give me none of that medicine ‘cos I’ll spit it right back out He tried so hard to fit in but he never really got a chance Before he spoke they burnt him, cut him, roped him and finally put him in the ground He said ‘I’ve been though war, and I’ve been though law and I’ve climbed that hill so cold Yeah I’ve been though more than you’ll ever know still they never let me go And every man wants more than he, ever did before He’s still got no way out We’ve got no way out No way out We’ve got no way out of this So if my eyes turn black and my teeth fall out and my hairs caught up in rags Don’t give me none of that medicine ‘cos I’ll spit it right back out Oh yeah, I’ll spit it right Yeah I’ll spit it right Oh I’ll spit it right back out I will spit it right I will spit it right I will spit it right back out

I love Mr. Tambourine Man for Theon. Especially this line: “Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind, Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves, The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach, Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow. Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free, Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands, With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves, Let me forget about today until tomorrow.” I also love Hurt by Nine Inch nails- All the lyrics and the entire soundscape of that song is Theon to me. Absolutely intense and amazing. And I also love and associate A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall with Theon. The "seven sad forests" the "dozen dead oceans" the "newborn baby with wolves all around it." But all the imagery in that song is so cool and very appropriate for asoiaf in general .

Oh man, so so many but to name a few: 1. How Soon is Now by the Smiths ("I am the son and heir of nothing in particular" / I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does") 2. Sorrowing Man by City and Colour ("Sorrowing man, look how worn you've become. You once were lord of the barren sea. There's blood on your hands." / "Oh, how you have lost your way." 3. Crystal Ball by Keane ("I lost my heart, I buried it too deep, under the iron sea." / "I'm fading out, everything I know is wrong, So put me where I belong.") 4. Bravado by Lorde ("I learned not to want The quiet of the room with no one around to find me out. I want the applause the approval." 5. Hurt by Johnny Cash ("And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt" / What have I become? My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end."

iron by woodkid seven nation army (in a way) bones in the ocean under the water by the pretty reckless

"Oh No" by Marina & the Diamonds; "Bones" by Ms Mr; "The Ocean" by Dar Williams

i'm a marionette by ABBA starring role by marina and the diamonds asleep by the smiths i still have faith in you by ABBA judas by lady gaga california dreamin' by the mamas & the papas al andar by ABBA crucified by army of lovers i'm not coming home by the cowmen no more from into the woods oh i know by only natural waiting around to die by the be good tanyas

Smoke filled room - daughter

Gilded Lily : I remember when you told me it’s an every decision (Theon’s oath to Robb) But with my double vision, how was I supposed to see the way ? (Double vision : Greyjoy/Stark) Haven’t I given enough? Always the fool with the slowest heart (softie boi ) I know you’ll take me with you ( could refer to Robb or Ramsay as they die that they take a piece or the whole of him with) Every city’s got a graveyard (kinda makes me think of his prince of Winterfell era) Now I’m sleeping in the backyard (Well, his Reek moment ofc)

a spanish song by my fave band ever Fito y fitipaldis - Antes de que cuente diez (Before I count to ten) some verses i really like from it are: I got lost in a cross of words. They missed wrote down the address. I already engraved my name on a bullet. I've already tried the cannon fodder I already have everything under control. And someone said no, no, no, no, no That now the wind is coming from the other side Leave me the rudder And someone said no, no, no. What will take me to the end? It will be my steps, not the way. You don't see that you always go behind. When you pursue destiny And I won't feel strange again. Even if you don't get to know me And I won't love you so much again. And I won't stop loving you again I stopped flying, I sank into the mud. And between so much mud I found myself. Some warmth without your hugs Now I know that I will never come back.

I dont know many poems but sinnerman by nina simon and sorry by karine polwart and some other songs in my own language :)

honestly.. robb and theon are kinda two ghosts by harry styles if you squint

All of Radiohead tbh

Pardon this next block of text where I name random music. I have to say something about the album The Downward Spiral by NIN being huge Theon material to me (the instrumental track named after the album is so TWOW Stannis execution presumably foiled by old gods activity. also Hurt but everyone's saying that. ummm THE BECOMING.). Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain. 1906 by the West Coast Art Pop Experimental Band is so Bolton Occupation of Winterfell. Avalanche by Kyle John Kenowski. Sister Europe by The Psychedelic Furs feels TWOW Asha and Theon returning to the islands or something. Sweat by Oingo Boingo. All We Ever Wanted Was Everything by Bauhaus young Theon in Winterfell. King Rat by Modest Mouse feels either Jeyne and Theon escaping Winterfell or Theon and the invasion of Winterfell. I think I'm saying too much but I hate having things out of context, but I can't just parrot an entire playlist here: these are all ruthlessly selected from my playlist on spotify called [PRIVATE INFORMATION] (Epitaph by King Crimson inspired me to make the playlist) that has these plus more but fair warning it's under construction for my reread I've been doing this summer :^) . Um. A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers by Van Der Graaf Generator but it's 23 minutes long and all over the timeline sorrrrry I like prog rock so much. On Kyra thoughts: Please listen to To The Dogs or Whoever by Josh Ritter for Kyra and the keys thoughts.

Remy Zero - Prophecy: You walk this world like you’re a ghost / Your hands are coming through the needles / Sick of your tragic and your evils / I am the keeper of the songs of everyone / [...] / This is a coming of the times / You are a witness to the movement / If all you’re seeing is your lies / You had your chance, but now you’ve blown it / You want this world so you can own it / I am the keeper of the songs of everyone / / Look into the sun and see your soul is dying / Used to feel the faith, but now you’re tired of trying / Should have left alone what you have stolen from everyone / Mmm, how ya feelin’? Seems a little sick to me now / / From the light on high / A chance to change your fate / Forgiveness falling down / On those who chose to wait / Remember the time / Find yourself home again / Deep within your life / Find yourself home again / Find yourself home again / It’s a choice / You have chosen your own T.S. Eliot - The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock: And I have known the eyes already, known them all— / The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase, / And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin, / When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall, / Then how should I begin / To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? / And how should I presume? / [...] I should have been a pair of ragged claws / Scuttling across the floors of silent seas. [...] I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach. / I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. / I do not think that they will sing to me. / I have seen them riding seaward on the waves / Combing the white hair of the waves blown back / When the wind blows the water white and black. / We have lingered in the chambers of the sea / By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown / Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

Century Eyes by Shearwater (You are not the last of this house / Nor the first to go over the side / Remember the wrecks of those elegant ships / “Turn it off! Turn it off!” / Look with century eyes till they make you go blind) Two Evils by Bastille (I’m the lesser of two evils / Or am I, am I tricking myself nice? / If I’m a lesser of two evils / Who’s this man, who’s this act I hide behind?) Hurt Feelings by Flight of the Conchords (It’s my birthday, 2003 / Waitin’ for a call from my family / They forgot about me / I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings)

The Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars

Lots ([PRIVATE INFORMATION I'M NOT GONNA DO MY COUNTRY DIRTY LIKE THIS] but a very tragicomical and delusional version), but I'm going to list purely English stuff for the sake of it: "Crucify your mind" by Rodriguez is my go to Theon song and I know no one knows or cares about Rodriguez and this might as well be one of those situations where this only works in my head, but fuck it: Was it a huntsman or a player That made you pay the cost That now assumes relaxed positions And prostitutes your loss? Were you tortured by your own thirst In those pleasures that you seek That made you Tom the curious That makes you James the weak? And you claim you got something going Something you call unique But I've seen your self-pity showing As the tears rolled down your cheeks […] So con-convince your mirror As you've always done before Giving substance to shadows Giving substance ever more And you assume you got something to offer Secrets shiny and new But how much of you is repetition That you didn't whisper to him too? "All these things that I've done" by The Killers has some vibes and lyrics too but god do I feel like an idiot for saying that.

[pretendingday]

"I was quick to want the world rid of its fools an hour ago, I forget sometimes how much an exemplar I am among them." "That’s not how I see you."

A fanmix about James Fitzjames and Francis Crozier from AMC’s The Terror. Chronological and mostly canon compliant.

Listen on Spotify

Keep reading for songs and motivations.

1. All The Old Showstoppers - The New Pornographers

"When John he saw the numbers he lied, made up the whole thing, failed when he tried" This song is about responsibility, good intentions, and failure. It feels like a good place to start. Also, (Sir) John sure did fail when he tried.

2. Get Famous - The Mountain Goats

"You’ve been waiting for this, ever since you’ve been young, be careful not to choke on your tongue" This song will always be JFJ's theme song to me. The tone of it also fits in with the "tell us about bird shit island, why don't you, James" energy.

3. French Exit - The Antlers

"I’m not a puppy you take home, don’t bother trying to fix my heart" Now, this one is about fighting. It's about the "there hasn't been a single meal we've shared, a single conversation, when you weren't morbing on about what you're due." It's about the "keep your pity."

4. Victorian Ice - Sea Power

"And you better keep moving before you get totally cold" They're victorians, on ice. That's all the motivation you need. Also the song is about communication issues and needing each other, so... I rest my case.

5. Not Dead Yet - Lord Huron

"You’re tired of me, I’m tired of you" This song is about self-hatred and alcoholism. But it's also about not being dead yet, so there's... hope? Maybe?

6. The Counterfeiter - Crooked Fingers

"You don’t belong here, your heart’s a fake, the ghosts who chose you were mistaken" James has imposter syndrome, part one.

7. Someone You’d Admire - Fleet Foxes

"One of them wants only to be someone you’d admire, one would as soon just throw you on the fire" Sometimes it's hard to change, and even harder to know whether you want to impress someone, or still hate their guts. I feel like this goes for both of them.

8. Straight and Tall - Iron & Wine

"Don’t tell me all the shit you’ve done, how you push your luck with everyone, ‘cause your mean upbringing’s left you a mess" James has imposter syndrome, part two, but this time Francis goes "that's not how I see you".

9. Your Rocky Spine - Great Lake Swimmers

"I was moving across your frozen veneer, the sky was dark but you were clear" Listen, it's about the metaphors. I can't explain it to you, it's just the vibes.

10. I’ll Be Your Girl - The Decemberists

"I could be your man, but I’d be that much more" It's gender time. Reading way too much into the dress scene is something that can be so personal.

11. After Those Who Mean It - Laura Stevenson

"It’s as if you knew me, and even though it’s briefly, and though it’s not completely, I can feel you reading, reading me to sleep" This song is about persevering, even though you know it's all coming to an end. It's sad hours, and I'm afraid it's all downhill from here.

12. Colder Heavens - Blanco White

"Here I stand undressed, here I confess my doubt, did you know that I would?" The mortifying ordeal of being known, and also being hunted by a monster bear, and also there's a mutiny. That's not what the song is actually about, but it has the vibes.

13. Lucky Man - Emerson, Lake & Palmer

"He went to fight wars for his country and king, of his honour and his glory the people would sing" Something something "there will be poems". This song is the poem.

14. I Will - Mitski

"And while you sleep I’ll be scared, so by the time you wake I’ll be brave" I feel like I don't have to explain myself with this one, but I do have tissues if you need them. I did warn you it's sad hours.

15. The Pugilist - Keaton Henson

"But the truth is I need you to tell me I’m worthy of all this great living that I’ve been doing" James has imposter syndrome, part three, but now he's also dying.

16. Artifact #1 - Conor Oberst

"The world is full of missing persons, all of these unsolved mysteries" James is still dying. Francis is feeling... not great about it.

17. Genesis 30:3 - The Mountain Goats

"I will do what you ask me to do, because of how I feel about you" This is the song that made me start this fanmix. Imagine someone you love asking you to kill them. Imagine being unable to deny them anything. Remember when I said you could have my tissues? I take it back, I need them myself now, thanks.

18. Another New World - Josh Ritter

"I won’t call it rescue what brought me here back to the old world to drink and decline, and to pretend that the search for another new world was well worth the burning of mine" This song is about an arctic explorer surviving, but at much too great a cost. Perfect theme song for Final Girl Francis. It's also extremely long, so you have time to get all those tears out before moving on with your life. Thank you for listening.

[irresistiibles]

A BEEFLEAF PLAYLIST ( @mvsicinthedvrk ) 

the ghost of you - my chemical romance | i love you so - the walters | come into the water - mitski | that’s what you get - paramore | what if it doesn’t end well - blood bunny | black water - of monsters and men | heavy in your arms - florence + the machine | i bet on losing dogs - mitski | alien blues - vundabar | ocean eyes - billie eilish | my happy ending - avril lavigne | juliet - cavetown | ghosting - mother mother | dear friend, - dayglow | favorite crime - oivia rodrigo | atlantis - seafret | angeleyes - abba | people you know - selena gomez | mr loverman - ricky montgomery | cruel summer - taylor swift 

sunny? haven’t you already made a shi qingxuan playlist? i hear your confusion, and you see, i sure have, but unfortunately i saw a picture of manhua ming yi today and lost my whole mind. you expect me to see a picture of qingxuan holding him up the hand hovering right over the titty and be normal? absolutely not. this started as a joke this afternoon and now it’s twenty songs long with a graphic so i don’t think it can be considered a joke anymore. anyway, the vibes are mostly on post black-water arc, so my biggest joys were adding an avril lavingne song, because lord knows none of the energy or lyrics i was going for were making me happy. i don’t know what to elaborate on usually i use this paragraph to kinda ramble about the character and how i picked vibes for the playlist but i don’t know how to do that without getting into everything which would take forever. this is just based off of situational vibes, and i really did consider making yet anothr playlist for a happier sense of things, but i’ll hold myself back. honestly this playlist could have just been the “i am in misery,” part of the maroon 5 song for 10 hours and it would get my emotions across just as well.  listen here.

template from here

[applebutter-and-cinnamon]

We're Sticking Together

Summary: It only takes a simple glance from Laurie for Amy to feel like she's significant again.

Pairings: Laurie Laurence x Amy March

Warnings: Slight Insecurity, Mostly Fluff

Requested: @sassyandclassy94 Song Prompt 7: "Me and My Husband" - Mitski

Amy stood in the corner of the room, stealing a few minutes to herself from the hustle of the elite crowd gathered in front of her. She'd agreed to join Laurie and his grandfather on their business trip to London and the party was the main reason that she was invited along. The two men thought it would make them look more stable if Laurie and Amy, by extension, were presented as a married couple.

Normally, Amy thrived in elite crowds like this one but she'd just received a confirmation of what she'd been suspecting for over a month now. She was pregnant.

Instead of being able to tell Laurie immediately, the way she'd wanted, she'd had to wait. He had left much earlier than her to go into the office. As a result, Amy had the entire day surrounded by a crowd of people to overthink her role as a mother.

Would she be able to raise their child to the standard that was expected? She'd never be as good of a mother as Marmee, but what if she didn't even come close? What if Lauire didn't want the child?

These were the thoughts that circled her head as she was analyzed by the London socialites through breakfast and lunch. She'd broken away for a while to prepare for the party but was thrust right back in when the party began. Laurie and his grandfather were going to be slightly late due to a contract malfunction so she'd entered alone.

She'd been polite and had greeted everyone as was expected of her but at the first available opportunity she'd hidden herself in the corner. She didn't want to be another blurry face to everyone anymore.

The crowd seemed to shift as Laurie walked in. He looked good, handsome and polished. He grew into the shoes he was born for. His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes scanned the faces in the crowd, ignoring the people surrounding him.

His face turned in her direction and his eyes softened when he saw her. Laurie pushed past the people who were standing near him, gracefully walking to Amy.

Amy felt all of her insecurity shrink back at the fond gleam in his eyes and the broad grin that had taken over his face. He wrapped an arm around her and gave her a sweet kiss.

"My Lady, you look positively radiant this evening," he told her.

She offered him a genuine smile, "Thank you, My Lord."

He nodded his head in her direction. He placed his hand on the small of her back, walking with her back into the crowd.

"Shall we take this on together?" He asked her.

She nodded, "We always do."

Amy moved towards one of their clients but turned before they arrived, "Laurie, remind me that I've something to discuss with you later."

He looked at her in question, "I look forward to it."

As long as they were together, Amy knew that everything would be fine.

[rhaenicentric]

eren & mikasa ; "so this was heaven" — a spotify playlist, 1 hour and 39 minutes

after giving you the best i had, tell me what to give after that

1. happiness — taylor swift

haunted by the look in my eyes that would have loved you for a lifetime / leave it all behind / tell me, when did your winning smile, begin to look like a smirk? / when did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?

2. two slow dancers — mitski

the ground has been slowly pulling us back down / you see it on both our skin / we get a few years and then it wants us back again / it would be a hundred times easier if we were young again

3. listen before i go — billie eilish

that's what a year-long headache does to you / i'm not okay, i feel so scattered / don't say i'm all that matters / leave me

4. i bet on losing dogs — mitski

i bet on losing dogs / i know they're losing and i pay for my place by the ring / where i'll be looking into their eyes when they're down / i'll be there on their side / i'll be losing by their side

5. the night we met — lord huron

and then i can tell myself not to ride along with you / i had all and then most of you / some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met

6. once upon a dream (maleficent soundtrack) — lana del rey

i know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam / and although it's true that visions are seldom what they seem / if i know you, i know what you'll do / you'll love me at once the way you did once upon a dream

7. sparks — coldplay

did i drive you away? / i know what you'll say / you say, "oh, sing one we know" / but i promise you this, i'll always look out for you / yeah, that's what i'll do

8. i love you so — the walters

i'm gonna pack my things and leave you behind / this feeling's old and i know that i've made up my mind / i hope you feel what i felt when you shattered my soul / 'cause you were cool and i'm a fool so please let me go / but i love you so

9. apocalypse — cigarettes after sex

you leapt from crumbling bridges watching cityscapes turn to dust / filming helicopters crashing in the ocean from way above / got the music in you, baby, tell me why / you've been locked in there forever and you just can't say goodbye

10. i'll never smile again — frank sinatra, tommy dorsey orchestra

i'll never thrill again to somebody new / within my heart, i know i will never start to smile again / until i smile at you

11. white ferrari — frank ocean

clearly, this isn't all that there is / can't take what's been given / you dream of walls that hold us imprisoned / it's just a skull, 'least that's what they call it / and we're free to roam

12. chasing pavements — adele

i build myself up and fly around in circles / waitin' as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle / finally, could this be it / or should i give up? / or should i just keep on chasing

13. moon song — phoebe bridgers

you are sick and you're married and you might be dying / but you're holding me like water in your hands / when you saw the dead little bird you started crying / but you know the killer doesn't understand

14. repeat until death — novo amor

don't go, you're half of me now / but i'm hardly stood proud / i said it, almost / oh, i've been low, but dammit i bet it don't show / it was heaven a moment ago / i had it, almost / we had it, almost

15. fourth of july — sufjan stevens

where everything was fiction, future, and prediction / now where am i? my fading supply / did you get enough love, my little dove? why do you cry? / and i'm sorry i left but it was for the best / though it never felt right

16. i saw you in a dream — the japanese house

i saw you in a dream / you had stayed the same / you were beckoning me / said that i had changed / tried to keep my eyes closed / i want you so bad / then i awoke and it was so sad

17. savior complex — phoebe bridgers

you want blood and i promised / i'm a bad liar with a savior complex / all the skeletons you hide / show me yours and i'll show you mine / all the bad dreams that you hide / show me yours

18. state lines — novo amor

was it all any more faded after all? / i don't know, i don't know i don't know / are you sure, did you call? / did we ever really talk? / i don't know, i don't know, i don't know

19. peace — taylor swift

and you know that I'd swing with you for the fences / sit with you in the trenches / give you my wild, give you a child / give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other / is it enough? / no, i could never give you peace

20. my heart is buried in venice — ricky montgomery

say, say what you mean / tell me the truth or tell me you're through / don't leave me to breathe / don't leave me to bleed / for someone who chose to leave me be

21. roslyn — cullen

sea and rock below / cocked to the undertow / bones, blood and teeth erode / they will be crashing low / wings wouldn't help you

22. wings (acoustic) — birdy

i just wanna be by your side / if these wings could fly / oh, damn these walls / in the moment, we're ten feet tall / and how you told me after it all / we'd remember tonight for the rest of our lives

23. re:stacks — bon iver

this is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization / it's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away / your love will be safe with me

24. she dances — billie marten

and i'm jealous of her feet / the way she runs from nobody / the way she walks right through the sea / and how she'll make you weep

25. birdcage — novo amor

for the record, i blame myself / it went on and on, i let me lose / i'm letting my head collapse on itself / could you need me now? / i can't see how / i think i'm forgetting how to breathe out

[matrose]

two tag games today!!! 💘🫂🌲 ill put them under the readmore in one post !

tagged by @lesbianhaleth for this one !! thank you! 💞💎🍃💚🌿❣️

five movies/shows

succession. very good show very excited for season 4 and to collectively go insane again with the dash...fun times..

everything everywhere all at once. movie of all time!!! i need to watch it twenty million times!!

ek ladki ko dekha toh aisa laga. movie of all time two!! ive watched it many times and cried everytime ❤️

in this corner of the world. yes this one makes me cry too of course. i only like movies that make me cry

okay. wintertime is coming up basically but not really but like. i saw this movie while i was scrolling through my list on netflix because i cant remember anything and i saw it and i had to put it because its everything... drei haselnüsse für aschenbrödel!!!! THE nostalgia movie. love the silly beautiful costumes and aschenbrödel was my first crush and the music means everything to me....wah

four songs

sooo difficult to choose just four!! ill go with... long lost - lord hurin. this song.... i feel understood ❣️

shouldve been me - mitski. ive been loving her new album and i especially love the. hm. i lack the right words. i dont even know the german word for the instrument (sound?) it seems!! the one at the beginning that reappears again and again!! argh! i love it a lot

boots worn through - shayfer james. i like this one a lot and i listened to it basically on repeat during any calm alone moment, usually in the evenings while the sun was setting, when we were camping, so i get a lot of nice feeling associations with this song!!

ships - wallners. very calming...like it a lot!

three essentials (excluding food, water, phone)

hmm my portable charger... i have nearly all my books on my phone and i love love taking pictures so i want it to stay on!!

i could say something like ID here but isnt that a bit boring... i have very little in my bag unless its a special occasion!! a pen then, id say. you always need a pen! or pencil or anything. marker. ill take it

actually one thing i do always have in my bag is those reusable fruit and vegetable nets you use to avoid plastic bags !! a nice cashier gave me some for free for no discernible reason and ive had them in my bag ever since in case i spontanously decide i need to buy carrots or kiwis 💚

two books

very very mean to only have two here. how can i choose. ill just put the two im currently actively reading which areee octavia e. butlers parable of the sower which i love very much and

the giant epub of all asoiaf books....!!!

one quote

not very good at memorizing quotes i fear... one thing that i marked and that stuck with me, is what lauren olamina in parable of the sower says about her younger half-brother keith: "I hated Keith at least as much as I loved him." its a difficult relationship and i cried reading about it, because it was well written and evocative and emotional and a tragedy, and also because i have a very complicated relationship with my own younger half-brother as well. i like this book a lot 💛

the second one!! tagged by @sunlighthairs thank youuu 🥰🌿💓🌿🌲🍃💚

relationship status: single but i fall in love with atleast one person per day

favorite color(s): blue means everything to me. yes this wavelenght of light IS special it is so special. to me and everyone else. its everywhere but sooo rare!! how funny!!! i also love green and it makes me so happy. just look at my header! all my favorite colors! 🏔

favorite food: i love anything with broccoli as long as its properly seasoned....at my grandmas birthday celebration they served broccoli without even SALT!! my cousin snuck into the kitchen for us and found some salt which saved it atleast a bit...otherwise i really enjoy roasted chestnuts but theyre expensive...very special snack. this reminds me that i need to go acorn collecting to try out the perhaps prehistoric acorn recipe we talked about in one of my archaeobotanical classes...it might be very good it might be very bad it might be very bland. hm!

song stuck in my head: misty mountains................... i am a one trick pony

last thing you googled: waldmistkäfer =^)

time: while typing this it is 23:33 (11:33 pm) but by the time i post it will be a bit later i suspect 🧐

dream trip: !!!! oh! oh!!!! unrealistically unethically grandiosely i would want to go to australia...i would have to take the plane and it would take forever and i think this is a long time dream because of 1) watching h2o just add water as a child 2) not being afraid of spiders and bugs and snakes since childhood which i prided myself in and as such wanted to go to the stereotypical dangerous animals place... realistically and ecologically conciously i would want to take the train to the mountains again to go on a long very long long looong hike. i miss the mountains so much and itll be sometime until i can see them again... oh i also want to go to britain to look at some caves theres some really good caves there . sorry these are three dream trips...!

last thing you read: i finished a chapter of parable of the sower just a few minutes ago =)

last book you enjoyed reading: well...see previous answer... i enjoy reading most books, even the really bad ones because i like to be a bit of a hater...

favorite thing to cook/bake: i love making almost anything!! i really enjoy cooking chicken korma/a vegan alternative with potato and spinach because i have so much fun blending the sauce!!!! otherwise i also love making any kinds of soup..pumpkin cauliflower broccoli pea potato. put it in the soup!!!!!

favorite craft to do in your free time: !!!!! thank god its specified to craft!! i really like drawing on my tablet but i love love painting on canvases though thats sadly much more expensive for each piece but i just love getting a little crazy with it. when i was 11 i accidentally put a huge black spot on the carpet because the black paint overtook me. and this is niche but i love organizing scavenger hunts !! last time i put a wax seal hid it in one of the old books my grandparents gave me and pretended i just wanted to look at the pictures with the kids when oh!! an old burned looking letter adressed to THEM fell out!! what a surprise what a coincidence! sadly they got so excited one of them ended up falling and badly scraping her knee but after that we continued and i think they had lost of fun ❣️ putting that all together and making up all the riddles for the steps was really really fun

most niche dislike: hm. cars? is that niche? i dont like cars and i usually dont like being in one unless my mom is driving and i dont like highways...

opinion on circuses: i havent ever been to a circus 🤔 as long as the artists are properly paid and theres no animals getting mistreated (elephants and tigers and the like should not be traveling with circuses in small cages...if you want to put on a little dog show or whatever go for it but leave the elephants out of it) i see no problems with them and theyre probably really fun !

do you have a sense of direction? i think yes... not super perfect but if ive walked a path before i can retrace it no problem and being able to see the sun always helps. not good with the stars though 💔⭐️

im too shy to tag anyone!!!! if youve read this far and havent done this youre officially tagged by me 🥰❣️

[wolfstar-in-color]

Creator’s spotlight: alifeincoffeespoons

It’s September and our fourth Creator’s Spotlight is here! We are so happy to share with you today the thoughts of a wonderful creator: @alifeincoffeespoons. We’ve rec’ed her fic Sirius and Harry go to Whitecastle here and we did the description for one of her artworks here (which includes the rec of some mitski songs!!).

As usual, here you have one of our favorite quotes of the interview, and under the cut you can read the full interview!

“Remus and Sirius understand each other on a level that few other characters in the series do. They have so many shared experiences and so much history, and there’s so many different ways to write them as a result. They are also foils, but somehow also a matched pair — they move in sync so easily.”

alifeincoffeespoons prompt: “It’s a rare sunny day when Remus sees Sirius, for the first time in three years, and he has to resist the urge to call emergency services immediately and announce that he needs to be hospitalized on account of a broken heart.”

Q: Tell us a bit about yourself

A: My Tumblr username is alifeincoffeespoons (inspired by Eliot’s “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock”) and I go by spellingmynamewrong on AO3. I’d probably be considered part of Gen Z, and I’m Asian-American, which inspires a lot of my work. I usually create works of writing, though I also dabble in fanart occasionally. I’m a fan of both modern and canon divergent AUs; I’ll write canon compliant content occasionally but not very often, given how tragic canon is. 

Q:How did you start creating in the fandom? What did you wish to bring into the fandom?

A: I started writing back in middle school, and I’ve been reading and writing fanworks on-and-off since then. My first work of fanfiction was for Harry Potter too, although I didn’t start writing for Wolfstar until later on. I want to write works that make people think more deeply about — and even critique — the existing world of Harry Potter. There are a lot of deeply problematic aspects of the original work, as we all know, and I think we have an obligation as creators to call them out and demonstrate why they are so problematic.

Q: What things about Sirius/Remus as characters or in their relationship inspire you to create around them?

A: Remus and Sirius understand each other on a level that few other characters in the series do. They have so many shared experiences and so much history, and there’s so many different ways to write them as a result. They are also foils, but somehow also a matched pair — they move in sync so easily.

Q: What things would you like to highlight about the Wolfstar fandom and your experience in it?

A: It’s such an expansive fandom! That’s one thing that’s dawned on me over time — it has so, so much history, and so many individuals are or have been involved in it. 

Q: What type of content do you wish you saw more in the fandom?

A: I’d love to see more content that deals with the historical circumstances of the wider world around them — I’m a big sucker for historical fiction and real-world context. If we’re going for a particular sort of story, I’d love to see more superhero AUs. Also, a Good Omens AU. I saw fanart for it once and it’s never left my mind. There are so, so many possibilities there. 

Q: What is your favourite wolfstar fan content (fic/fanart/gifset/etc) and how does it inspire you?

A: This is so hard to choose! Let’s go with some tropes instead — I love fix-it fics, and I also find canon divergent AUs very interesting, particularly ones that involve giving Harry a better life. I’m also a big fan of Modern AUs, though. I also love humor — whether that be a full-on humor fic or just one with humor interspersed lovingly throughout.

Q: Which of your own identities inform your creative processes? How has that process been for you?

A: My Asian-American identity likely informs my creative process the most. There are so few Asian characters represented in media still, particularly fan-created content, and I’d like to see that changed. What I usually do is incorporate small details that can feel universal but also give readers an insight into a particular culture — usually through food or similarly common experiences. It comes fairly naturally, actually, since I often write about Asian or Asian-American characters in my original fiction as well.

Q: What advice do you have for other content creators with diverse backgrounds in the fandom? What would you say to people that might feel they don’t have the “right” experience to participate in the creation of content related to Wolfstar?

A: If you’re comfortable, definitely share your experiences — we always need more diverse voices in fandom. I don’t think there’s any particular history or characteristic you need to be an active participant in Wolfstar fandom. 

Q: How could we build a more diverse fandom?

A: Firstly, by seeking out and supporting content that features characters with diverse backgrounds. Secondly, by calling out rhetoric that marginalizes diverse creators. Thirdly, by doing our best to do better ourselves.

Q: What’s your favorite thing to modify in Sirius’s or Remus’s characterizations to bring new perspectives to them?

A: I’ve often written Sirius as Asian, mostly because I think it truly does add another layer to his characterization. I’ve explained some of my reasoning behind that in this Tumblr post I wrote eons ago. I often also write Remus as Jewish — I saw this headcanon a long time ago and it’s stuck with me since. My characterizations of them are always shifting, though, and I’m sure they will continue to over time.

Q: What does diversity mean to you? What does that encompass in fannish spaces?

A: Diversity doesn’t just mean including a POC in your work or an LGBTQ character; it means giving them meaningful, non-stereotypical narratives and characterization. In fan spaces, that means supporting creators from diverse backgrounds and works featuring well-written, diverse characters. It also means, as a creator, doing research on the cultural backgrounds of characters you are writing about, particularly if you do not belong to that culture yourself.

Q: Is there a resource you would recommend for fans to read when it comes to learning about diversity?

A: If you’re interested in learning more about Asian-American culture and diversity in particular through literature, two memoirs I read recently and enjoyed were Cathy Park Hong’s Minor Feelings and Michelle Zauner’s Crying in H-Mart. I think they give insight into the Asian-American experience and are also incredibly moving. There are lots of resources for writing out there, on Tumblr, Reddit, and elsewhere. Also, sensitivity readers, if you are a writer, are critical. 

Q: Is there a project/organization that you want to hype?

A: Given what’s been happening in Texas and in countless other states across the U.S. — horrific attacks on bodily autonomy and the right to choose — please donate to Planned Parenthood.

Q: Any cause that you want fans to know about so that they can support it?

A: Rental assistance — the Supreme Court recently struck down Biden’s eviction moratorium. If anyone you know is at risk of being evicted, please direct them to local and state rental assistance programs (a tool to search for them: https://www.consumerfinance.gov/coronavirus/mortgage-and-housing-assistance/renter-protections/find-help-with-rent-and-utilities/).

Q: Leave us with a quote or work of art that always inspires you.

A: Whenever I need to write, I’ll put on a Phoebe Bridgers song if it’s a sad section I’m writing, and if it’s a relatively happier section, I’ll put on a NIKI song. Other artists that inspire me: Mitski, Lorde, Lucy Dacus, Taylor Swift, Lily Allen, and Lizzo.

[retvenkos]

no because,, i know you must be exhausted of all of these asks, but i dropped my homework for like 20 minutes to make these mini playlists for u & pitts, clara & charlie, linds & neil, & us girlies as a group :) (sadly, i don't know noe enough to make one for her & chris. but! i will make an effort to do so <3)

group

- prom queen, molly kate kestner

- new romantics, taylor swift

- runaway, AURORA

- soldier, poet, king, oh the hellos

- twin sized mattress, the front bottoms

- cinnamon girl, lana del rey

- we fell in love in october, girl in red

- washing machine heart, mitski

- armor, sara bareilles

pitts & olive

- pleaser, wallows

- blackbird, the beatles

- cowboy like me, taylor swift

- better together, jack johnson

- lady by the sea, stephen sanchez

- bookstore girl, charlie burg

- like real people do, hozier

- ho hey, the lumineers

- apple pie, lizzy mcalpine

clara & charlie

- classic, mkto

- true love, p!nk

- gold rush, taylor swift

- make you mine, PUBLIC

- R U mine?, artic monkeys

- romeo & juliet, peter mcpoland

- electric love, borns

- can't take my eyes off you, frank valli

- ophelia, the lumineers

neil & lindsay

- fearless, taylor swift

- ribs, lorde

- something, the beatles

- darling, christian leave

- the lakes, taylor swift

- fine line, harry styles

- turtleneck love boy, spilt milk society

- two, sleeping at last

- strawberries & cigarettes, troye sivan

bonus: meeks & i, because i'm pretentious

- jackie and wilson, hozier

- i wanna be yours, artic monkeys

- honey, the coastal club

- eloise, peter mcpoland

- kiss her you fool, the kids that fly

- i think he knows, taylor swift

- sofia, clairo

- pancakes for dinner, lizzy mcalpine

- strawberry blond, mitski

when i saw this i freaked out,,,,,,, first of all, your asks never fail to bring a smile to my face (even if i respond late, which seems to be my default) , and second, giving people playlists is a love language™ and to have some tailored for our group????? brb, i have to go cry in a corner (and add all of these songs to a spotify playlist sTAT).

this is too sweet!!!!! and okay! here are some thoughts i have - vague ones that are kind of vibes only.

also, disclaimer that i'm pretty musically illiterate. my music knowledge stops at like,,,, 2015. if even that.

so pitts and meeks give me big hozier vibes. idk why exactly, but i feel like they'd both jam out to hozier. (the fact that you included hozier on our respective playlists shows me i'm right, lol.)

then! i've only listened to a little bit of conan gray, but his vibes really remind me of todd, and just a little bit of lindsay? like, lindsay could get into one or two songs of his if she were yearning at the moment, and todd can just,,,,, always get down to it. todd is people watching, convince me otherwise.

and okay, we all know clara is my 5sos mutual, but i truly do get good girls vibes from her and charlie's relationship. (there's even a line about her speaking french, asdfghjjhgfd)

and perhaps this is because i feel like your my taylor swift mutual, but i also get big taylor swift vibes from you and meeks. but like, indie pop or country taylor. i haven't listened to all of evermore, but those are the vibes.

and as for noe and chris, i feel like a song that fits with them could be i want to be with you by chloe moriondo. i don't actually know anything about the artist, but this song came up on my spotify, and it does scream them.

and lol, i only know like 3 songs by ricky montgomery, but i get those vibes for neil.

(also, i just get big ordinary days vibes from lindsay and neil, and i'm honestly not sure what it is exactly - is it the song beautiful, and the whole "for beautiful to happen, the beautiful has got to be seen" message? idk, but the association is there.)

[rogue-coyote]

ty for the tag @gunfucked !! music rambling below 

i’m so uncomfortable tagging ppl because i don’t want to be annoying so... feel free to do this if you want to !!!

who was your first favorite artist?

my teenage years were spent thirsting for trent reznor and angsting to nine inch nails

who are your current favorites?

the weeknd, laurel, son lux, florence + the machine, hans zimmer, lord huron, mitski. idk this is hard for me bc it’s rare i end up liking everything an artist creates, and i tend to bounce around drastically.

are you into musicals? which ones/why not?

fun if they’re not cringe (see: hamilton). hope that helps! 

ok but real talk: phantom of the opera is my undying love, fell in love with the objectively mediocre but subjectively fun and sexy gerard butler movie, then saw it live for my 13th birthday and again in new york. traumatized kids will really be like *relates to the phantom and cries every time*

also, phantom of the paradise... if you know you know, and if you don’t, please watch asap. les mis, chicago and wicked are all quite good too. overall musicals are not really my first choice bc i get second-hand embarrassment very easily but they’re ok once in awhile. my tolerance for cringefail is low and unfortunately a lot of musicals are very much cringefail.

are there songs you consider so special you only listen to them very rarely?

yea... third eye (florence + the machine)

what’s your preferred way of listening to music? (time of day, medium, situation)

i like to study or work on assignments with chillhop/jazzhop/instrumental playlists, typically with headphones on. i absolutely cannot think about anything else while playing songs with lyrics so i only play lyrical tunes when i’m doing non-brain tasks, drawing or making graphics. genre is whatever, if it slaps then it slaps

what would you say is the most niche music you listen to?

oldies, babey! 

what’s your favourite music related movie/tv show that’s not a musical?

does the pianist count??? swing kids?? velvet goldmine????? idk

albums or playlists?

literally too many external and internal factors to give a straight answer. depends on the context and how i feel and the alignment of the planets on that particular day and

favourite albums?

how big, how blue, how beautiful (florence + the machine), high as hope (florence + the machine), diamond dogs (david bowie), rumours (fleetwood mac), dogviolet (laurel), the suburbs (arcade fire), after hours (the weeknd), my dear melancholy (the weeknd), animals (pink floyd), trouble will find me (the national), masse mensch material (rome), lanterns (son lux), the fragile (nine inch nails), shallow bed (dry the river), am (arctic monkeys), dragonslayer (sunset rubdown), wasteland, baby! (hozier), pure heroine (lorde), cannibals with cutlery (to kill a king) dune & blade runner 2049 (hans zimmer), so many video game and movie osts

is there an artist you’re trying to get into?

nah bro i’m just here to vibe

whose music do you find overhyped?

kpop, t-swift, most of the radio darlings even though i don’t mind their music - it’s all just very formulaic, empty in a late capitalist way. also fuck the beatles forever and for all time. 

what’s an underrated song?

literally anything laurel does... life worth living changed my life

what’s a thing a bunch of songs do that you love every time?

whatever the weeknd has going on in my dear melancholy... yea. send tweet

what song is better acoustic?

i generally find acoustic covers really uncomfortable in a secondhand embarrassment kind of way but i can tolerate iron (woodkid)

what’s the worst song of all time?

idk about all time, but stressed out by twenty one pilots gives me homicidal urges. congrats you made the most annoying, soul sucking song of all time about our annoying, soul sucking reality. 

do you put individual songs on repeat? if so, for how long and how often?

yes and until i physically cannot listen anymore w/o becoming ill. usually its because of ~character feelings~

do you make your own playlists? if so, what’s your most entertaining playlist title?

i have many playlists and none of them are for entertainment, they are all the auditory equivalent of self-flagellation over ocs or my favourite sad boys.

i think hypokeimenon is my all-time favourite but like... all of my daud playlists slap. the triumphant fall is next but only two people on my blog care about an obscure lore character from destiny 2 and i’m both of them

headphones or earbuds?

headphones at home, airpods at work

do you always sing the lead vocal or do you harmonize sometimes? if you harmonize, do you ever invent your own harmony?

oh girl i don’t understand anything about music. it’s like modern alchemy to me. harmonize deez nuts

a musical confession

people who only listen to one genre are freaks

[somehowmags]

TAG GAME TIME BELOVEDS

thank you for tagging me @magnusacademia !!

music!

fave genre on spotify my liked songs have the tags “dark, silly, pump up, musicals, calm, j-pop, concentration, pop, angst, foik, angst, indie pop, electronic, and classy” so those i guess? i listen to everything tbh akjsdfhalksjdh

fave artist the oh hellos!

fave song thursday girl by mitski, ungodly hour by chloe x halle, dear wormwood, lay me down, and exeunt by the oh hellos, and the astronomer from ghost quartet

most listened to song recently u by millennium parade!

song currently stuck in your head feel better by penelope scott

five fave lyrics .

“glory, glory, glory to the night / that shows me what i am” - thursday girl by mitski

“AND WHEN I HEAR THE CALL TO PRAYER / BUZZING THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF THE MOSQUES / THERE’S A SHOCK, THERE’S A STILLNESS / AS THE MELODIES TWIST AND ZAP / AND THE AIR IS FILLED WITH DIAMONDS / AND I WISH THAT I COULD SING LIKE THAT / BUT I DON’T PRACTICE ENOUGH” the astromer, ghost quartet

“I know who I am now / And all that you've made of me / I know who you are now / And I name you my enemy” - dear wormwood by the oh hellos

“Lord I know / That I’m weathered stone / But I owe it to my brothers to carry them home” - lay me down by the oh hellos

“i don’t give a fuck bout a blog tryna bash me / i’m the shit per the recording academy” - thot shit by megan thee stallion

books!

fave book genre urban fantasy my beloved

fave writer rn it’s alice hoffman!

fave book we ride upon sticks by quan berry, practical magic by alice hoffman, faithful by alice hoffman, going postal by terry pratchett, one to watch by kate stayman-london, the long long life of trees by fiona stafford

fave book series six of crows by leigh bardugo, the raven cycle by maggie steifvater, if manga counts then dungeon meshi by ryoko kui 

comfort book practical magic by alice hoffman, we ride upon sticks by quan berry

rainy day book faithful by alice hoffman

fave characters blue sargent, inej ghafa, shelby richmond from faithful, the entirety of the team from we ride upon sticks

five quotes from your fave books?

“we try not to look, but we do anyways.....her body a blessing.” - we ride upon sticks

“”do you remember that woman who came in who was pregnant with quadruplets? it was like that, but worse.” “he’s pregnant?” blue asked. “he’s creating,” calla said.” - the raven boys

“always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. people like a show.” - going postal

“shelby wants to spend tomorrow with her mother. she feels her love inside her as if it were as tangible as blood and bones. they’ll go out for ice cream every afternoon and try every flavor there it. she’ll start house training buddy. she’ll learn to make onion soup, her mom’s favorite. things will get worse, but there’s no reason to think about that now. tonight shelby will look out the window to see if her angel returns, and if he does she’ll ask him how he knows so much about love. she wishes he would come to her tonight, climb in through the window to lie down beside her and explain how it’s possible to love someone so much and still carry on when you have to let them go.” - faithful

“Night flight to San Francisco; chase the moon across America. God, it’s been years since I was on a plane. When we hit 35,000 feet we’ll have reached the tropopause, the great belt of calm air, as close as I’ll ever get to the ozone. I dreamed we were there. The plane leapt the tropopause, the safe air, and attained the outer rim, the ozone, which was ragged and torn, patches of it threadbare as old cheesecloth, and that was frightening. But I saw something that only I could see because of my astonishing ability to see such things: Souls were rising, from the earth far below, souls of the dead, of people who had perished, from famine, from war, from the plague, and they floated up, like skydivers in reverse, limbs all akimbo, wheeling and spinning. And the souls of these departed joined hands, clasped ankles, and formed a web, a great net of souls, and the souls were three-atom oxygen molecules of the stuff of ozone, and the outer rim absorbed them and was repaired. Nothing’s lost forever. In this world, there’s a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we’ve left behind, and dreaming ahead. At least I think that’s so. “ - angels in america

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

tv and movies!

fave tv/movie genre i like comedies! i don’t really watch a lot of tv though akjldfhaljkdfh

fave movie whisper of the heart, promare, into the spiderverse

comfort movie promare and whisper of the heart

movie you watch every year i watch whisper of the heart every year on my birthday

fave tv show hmm i don’t watch a lot of tv tbh.....if anime counts then probably keep your hands of eizouken!

comfort tv show hilda or keep your hands off eizouken!

most rewatched tv show i don’t rewatch a lot of tv shows aklsjdfhlakjsdf

five favourite characters lake from infinity train, wirt from otgw, the girls from eizouken, cure summer and cure la mer from tropical rouge precure

tv shows or movie | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or bingeing | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

[caluptena]

yes im feeling things and i decided to write about it so here we go!!!

I want to make a liberty bell tattoo because of mitski’s last words of a shooting star. And I want to figure out what I really want to do with my life, because if someone asked me right now what are my goals in life I would not had an aswer because I dont fucking know what to do with my life, like, at all. I guess I just want to live, and be happy when I dont want to be sad, go out with my friends, have a little place for myself with some plants, a kitchen, a tv to watch movies and a little cheap speaker to listen to music while I cook. I saw a post here today talking about that, and im just feeling too much today, so I read that "my heart is very little and I dont want it to break", and I just went feral!!! (on the inside only because I was at work with my mom at that moment)

Like, today I went out to buy floss and other things for my cross stitch projects and I would just put some music on my earphones and walk through the neighbourhood and look up to the gaps of sunlight (yes i just quoted mitski AGAIN!) and i just. Felt so happy. And at night I got home and went to make a cup of tea and the tag hanging on the tea bag told me to not give up on the things that make me happy. And then when I was scrolling on twitter the hozier lyrics bot showed up to tell me that the harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun. And I just. I dont know!!!!!! Im feeling things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know one thing. I know that I am so fucking tired of repressing myself. And I dont know why but since I got obsessed with mitski’s music and her simplistic and raw and pure emotions expressed on the lyrics of her songs I just want to do that too. Put it out somewhere, anything, to anyone to see, I dont care. I want to make something with all of this thats going on in here (and theres a lot of things, like, A LOT), write anything, and do the things I love and just find myself happy doing it and stop feeling so fucking ashamed of it. I just dont know anymore why I always put this boundaries on myself when I already have so much holding me back, like, really, i dont understand. My parents are always talking and worrying and complaining and putting things on my head that definitively were not there before, and I just started worrying so much about everything about what my family would think of me if I do this or that, and that was so long ago. I dont know when it started and I dont know how to stop it, and I cant take it anymore. Im tired of feeling like I have to justify myself for absolutely everything, with my family, with my teachers, even with my friends sometimes. I just feel wrong all the time, as if i shouldnt be existing like this at all. IM SO FUCKING TIRED

I just want to live my life and change my degree (without my father telling that to everyone just to justify my life choices to people who have absolutely nothing to do with it) and go out jogging (and if i decide in the future that jogging is boring as fuck i will just stop doing it) and meet my friends and go study in the library and go outside and read fantasy books ant talk nonstop about The Lord of The Rings and love the things that I love and just fucking live.

I want my life back even if in reality I never had it in the first place. And I want to make a fucking liberty bell tatto.