#understand connect and enjoy art. in my experience

[peasantexchangeprogram]

ok actual last post but my main problem w the xcore approach to art is that its not even enjoying art on a "surface level" bc it doesnt focus on or even acknowledge the emotion or idea or statement it's meant to convey but rather on a certain aesthetic theyre trying cultivate

[paganinpurple]

AO3 Etiquette -UPDATED

Based on both decent and not so decent replies, I have made some changes to my original post below.

It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:

As well as likes, kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished it, you liked it - so kudos.

If you really liked it, you should try to comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.

No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it (so use your notes to say if you want some constructive feedback). Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. No, posting it online is not an open invitation for that. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity and just want to share. Don't ruin that for them. I've seen so many authors just stop writing coz they can't handle the negative emotions the critism brings, and it's only meant to be a fun thing shared for free (pointing out tagging errors is not included in this).

Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.

There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.

For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.

The tag exception is if you don't want to tag a million things or spoil your story, you can rate it as "chose not to use warnings," and maybe tag the bare minimum.

Don't censor tags. How can someone exclude a tag if the word isn't typed out correctly? There are no content bans for terms so don't censor them.

If the tags are mostly content/trigger warnings, especially if they are things considered very fucked up or graphic, you might want to use "dead dove - do not eat" to ensure people know that you're not messing around with tags and what they get is exactly what you've warned them about.

Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLATONIC, like friendship or family.

Nothing is banned. This is an rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.

People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.

Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite or an exchange youve written for going public). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.

Instead of deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - consider making it anonymous or orphaning it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to your name anymore. If you still want to delete it, fair enough.

It's come to my attention that metaworks ARE allowed on AO3, which is something I wasn't aware of. So if you do post an essay or theory, please tag it as such so others can choose to search for it or exclude it. Art is also allowed.

The only reason this archive works is because NON ONE PROFITS. Do not link to your ko-fi or patreon or mention monetary gain in any way or you violate the terms and risk having your account removed. If anyone does link, it leaves the archive open to people claiming it's for profit and having the whole thing removed.

I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.

I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.

[astro-royale]

What may save you..according to your rising sign…

Disclaimer, my opinion

Gemini Rising: the right kind of information. Especially information about navigating relationships, or advice from people you’re close to. Also maintaining your own personality in relationships.

Cancer Rising: Developing resilience and creating healthy habits to cope with your emotions, also Discipline. And doing things you know you have to do without excuses. Also communicate your needs directly, no need to manipulate people to give you pity. Just ask them to hold a safe space and be compassionate to you in that moment.

Libra Rising: Being confident about confrontation or creating separation if it means protecting yourself. Being around people which soothe your nervous system. I’ve noticed Libra risings can have anger issues , or suppressed anger they need to learn how to communicate in a healthy way instead of just blowing up at people or saying things they don’t mean.

Aquarius Rising: Not seeing people as lesser than you because they don’t know about certain topics or because they don’t do the things you do. And actually you may learn a lot from people you might usually avoid “basic people”. Just as you are unique, so are others. And maybe this is why you dislike people because this kind of perspective is making it hard for you to want to connect to others and acknowledge them as valuable. Also just have fun and try to enjoy the presence of other people more. Actively find things you like to fixate on rather than dislike, this will give you more of a balanced perspective.

Leo Rising: if you want attention, cultivate uniqueness and don’t look to others for inspiration all the time. Many Leo risings put people on a pedastal I’ve noticed. Become a leader and focus on carving your own path and individuality rather than always looking for “inspo”. You already are it, but take time to explore what your “It” factor is and find your uniqueness.

Scorpio Rising: my love, don’t wait for your external reality to give you stability. Go within. You are the shaman, the warrior, the truth the world needs. Go within where all your answers are. Faith and inner stability is what will give you the strength you need. No one will save you except yourself. Radically accept that your external reality will have ups and downs, and cultivate stability within. Also, indulge in some “Light” things to keep you balanced.

Sagittarius Rising: Just be honest with people bro. But do it nicely, that way you’re always going to maintain connections authentically. Dont be afraid of telling the truth because it will cause you to move else where. You’re meant to be a seeker but also to connect with people, and maybe you have big crowds you want to reach , but start off with your community. Share and try to inspire your community first, and if you can’t do that, create a community and inspire them and yourself.

Taurus Rising: Connecting with people who have spiritual values rather than materialistic. Connecting to people who don’t have something tangible to offer or just have a “use”. Connect to people your heart and soul yearn for rather than what your ego yearns for. People who can’t give anything but their heart, soul, experiences.

Aries Rising: If you want to confront people just apply for a sport. Take your energy out physically. Boxing, judo, basketball. Just anything to help you let out some steam so you can have a clear head and judge people from a balanced point of view.

Virgo Rising: chill with some artists. Or if you’re the artist, create some art. Do something to let you unwind and feel free and where you won’t judge yourself. Visiting museums and places where art and information are combined may be useful. Learn to balance play and work. Writing will help you more than you realise. Unconditional love affirmations.

Capricorn Rising: Therapy. You need someone to help you understand your feelings. Even a life coach to help you balance out work and play. Similar advice to virgo rising. You guys unconsciously rant to people and then all your feelings come out, but you don’t realise it. So try to become conscious about your feelings and when you can and when you can’t communicate them.

Pisces Rising: Have people in your life you feel like you can always count to tell you the truth and to help you see objective reality. But also try to organise your information so you won’t feel overwhelmed by it. Deffo organising will help.

[hausofneptune]

songs that give the same energy as these aspects/placements

[astro notes no. 008]

hey y'all! i'm sure this has probably been done before, but i thought it'd be fun to do a post where i can talk about music and astrology bc i'm very much so a nerd when it comes to both of those topics :) (i'm dipping my toes into synastry/composite placements in this post, and i'm still learning about those subjects so any of these notes sound like surface-level baby shit, that's why, i apologize in advance lmao)

also, if it don't apply let it fly, we all have different charts and so therefore aspects and placements will manifest differently for all of us.

disclaimers | masterlist | ask

 ༊*·˚ ˗ venus in the 12H | scorpio / cancer venus: unknown / nth — hozier

you called me angel for the first time my heart leapt from me you smile now, i can see its pieces still stuck in your teeth and what's left of it, i listen to it tick every tedious beat going unknown as any angel to me do you know, i could break beneath the weight of the goodness, love, i still carry for you? that i'd walk so far just to take the injury of finally knowing you?

i feel like it's worth mentioning that hozier has venus in aquarius in his 12H, which makes so much sense when you listen to his music. these placements are, i feel, indicative of loving extremely hard, even to your own detriment. they tend to crave deep, nurturing, spiritual connections in love. and although they might have the capacity to understand people on a deeper level, rarely is that level of understanding reciprocated to them in love (especially the venus 12th housers), which can result in this feeling of being "unknown". y'all's suffering usually results in amazing art though, which can be an upside depending on how you look at it lmao

༊*·˚ ˗ moon in the 8H | moon square / opposite pluto or saturn: good days — SZA

said i'm not tryna be a nuisance, it's just urgent tryna make sense of loose change got me a war in my mind gotta let go of weight, can't keep what's holding me choose to watch while the world break up and fall on me all the while, i'll await my armored fate with a smile still wanna try, still believe in good days

as an 8H moon native i literally cannot listen to this song without crying lmfao. i feel like there’s so much inner emotional turmoil that people with these placements experience, and these experiences can definitely harden somebody into the type of person who’s emotionally avoidant and seeks to escape through their work or self-destructive habits. or, they become someone who, despite of what they’ve been through, utilize their understanding of the “darker” side of life to help others, and at least attempt to seek out things that bring them joy recognize that you don't have to view life through the lens of the fucked up shit you've been through.

༊*·˚ ˗ venus in the 9H / taurus ruling over the 9H: bliss abroad — masego ft. sheléa

i'm a boss, i know you like that spend it all, and make it all back see the sea view right from the cockpit just a preview to one of god's gifts i love the way we have no limitations, every night a celebration you take me there you exceed my expectation, beyond imagination

this is such a cute placement to have, both in natal and synastry. in the natal chart, it can indicate being someone who finds pleasure in traveling and learning about cultures that are vastly different than yours, and even finding spiritual fulfillment through doing so. it also shows being someone who enjoys traveling and exploring uncharted territory with their partner (or finding love in a different country), as well as feeling the most fulfilled in a relationship with someone who you feel "enlightens" you and brings newfound wisdom to your day to day life. these natives could also end up attaining wealth through these endeavors as well.

༊*·˚ ˗ sun trine or sextile black moon lilith | mars conjunct uranus | venus aspecting mars / pluto (synastry): stroke — banks

it’s always in my head everything is always about you tell me you’re a book that i misread you just wanna tell me what to do you want me, you want me want me to stroke your ego beg for it, die for it i got the touch placebo

i like to refer to aspects and placements like these as the "you not finna tell me what the fuck to do" indicators. with the natal aspects, these are typically the type of people who like to push against the boundaries just to see how far they can go, and enjoy ruffling other peoples' feathers for fun. they're also visionaries, and tend to prioritize their individuality above all else and enjoy encouraging others to feel empowered as well. on the other hand, the synastry aspects can indicate a strong level of physical attraction and sexual compatibility, when they're afflicted it can very much so lead to power struggles, with mars/pluto being the one attempting to assert some form of dominance or control over venus. how that ends up playing out depends on the context of the individual natal charts of those involved, personally i'd rather eat a denim jacket than let somebody (especially a man) tell me what to do, but i digress.

༊*·˚ ˗ moon / mercury in 3H (synastry) | sun in pisces / taurus (composite): are you even real? — james blake

all i can do is trust in her late nights, i can see the lust in her acid rain is a first for her skies open up, share a cup with her cracking seals, guilty no appeal trip down the hill, strawberry fields are you even real? she said, "tell me how you feel" are you even real?

3H synastry is so sweet and so underrated, probably because it's not a house that people typically look at for an indication of "romance", but i feel like communication is an integral part of relationships that (clearly) nobody really takes into account. moon and mercury in the 3H can be indicative of giving/receiving words of affirmation with someone, as well as an ease in not only expressing your emotions to someone but having a very strong intellectual connection to them. it could also be indicative of having a strong bond with their siblings or immediate family as well. i also mentioned sun in pisces and taurus in the composite chart because the production of this song is so ethereal, and the lyrics are very domestic in a sense? i feel like it's representative of the spiritual connection and compassion that pisces brings, alongside the pleasure and security found in building a home with the person you love.

༊*·˚ ˗ pisces moon / mercury: count me out — kendrick lamar

i care too much, wanna share too much in my head too much, i shut down too i ain't there too much, i'm a complex soul they layered me up, then broke me down and moralities dust, i lack in trust

pisces moons are truly god's strongest soldiers lmfao. i spoke on this in a previous post and i'll reiterate it again because it's so real, but pisces is the only water sign without "armor", and therefore the water sign that tends to get hurt the most. and i'm speaking in terms of the archetype and not necessarily every person with prominent pisces placements when i say this (pls do not come up under this post talking about a pisces that hurt your feelings, we do not care), but pisces are very sensitive and kind-hearted by nature, and with the moon in pisces that can very easily manifest as becoming "captain save a hoe" and trying to help and fix everyone around you, even to your own detriment. in regard to having mercury in pisces, i feel like the upside is having a very romanticized way of speech and a general "poetic" ideological approach to life, and the downside is getting lost in your thoughts, as well as being misrepresented or not clearly understood in communication/connection to others, and therefore "shutting down" and opting not to speak at all.

༊*·˚ ˗ sun / venus trine or sextile neptune (natal or synastry): two weeks — fka twigs

i'll put you first, just close your eyes and dream about it higher than a motherfucker, dreaming of you as my lover i'll quench your thirst, just chase the high and stop your doubting flying like a streamer, thinking of new ways to do each other

i'm not gonna hold you, i feel like this is the perfect example of a song fully encapsulating what an aspect feels like. i feel like these aspects can make someone very ethereal, they may have a tendency to come off as impersonal or "out of reach" to those around them, and are typically very intuitive and spiritually-inclined. in synastry, this could make someone view their partner through a dream-like lens. aside from neptune's malefic characteristics (which typically show up more with conjunctions or challenging aspects) it's energy paired with the sun and venus can make a relationship feel like a fairy-tale in a sense. they may have a telepathic connection with one another, visit each other or communicate through the astral realm, and their intimacy can feel like a very spiritual experience for both parties.

as always, if you have any of the aspects or placements mentioned let me know how it manifests in your own life! and if you have any songs that you feel like are representative of any placements feel free to drop them below, i'm always looking for new music to listen to!

[harmoonix]

☁️Nostalgic Day Astrology Observations☁️

~ When the heaven cries an angel dies ~

✪ Pisces Placements/Moon are very sensitive souls, they can go through a lot of moods and they think that nobody understands them, these natives are the cutest when they are in a good mood

✪ Having a Leo moon/Moon in the 5th house makes you to be very outgoing and shinning out of your crowd, you really take life as a party and you have to live it at the fullest

✪ Air Moons [Aquarius, Gemini, Libra] have a really good connection to music and arts, they are feeling the music and breathing the music is something very hard to describe words but their feelings go insane when they listen music

✪ Your Venus return can be the most luckiest period of having luck in finding a partner, The Venus return is when Venus comes back into the sign you have it under your chart, for example you have Taurus Venus and when Venus comes back into Taurus's constellation there might be a lucky period of finding love

✪ Venus aspecting Pluto or Saturn are devastated when they go through a breakup, these people can fall into depression or a deep mental state when they broke up but their rebith transformation is gonna be the biggest, when they heal there are no more tears to be left.

✪ The moon in your chart can repsent a drop from your past life, natives with the Moon in Scorpio or 8th house could have suffered the death loss of someone they really loved/it could be the mother or their partner

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Baby, I don't want no one, no one else

So hurry, 'cause I need some, need some, need some help

And I've been waitin' patient, patiently

'Cause I don't have you here with, here with, here with me

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✪ Lilith - Moon aspects are classified as being the strongest aspects to find in a chart, because it can influence a lot of things both negatively and positively ways, it was a great power if you learn about them

✪ Venus is in detriment in Scorpio, so the planet of love doesn't get along very much with this sign and it can manifest though finding toxic partners or painful relationships, the lessons is to first love yourself then to love others [Vedic and Sidereal charts come in please because this applies to you very much]

✪ Mercury and Saturn aspects can have the fear to talk and can be very shy when you met them, they can be anxious about they talk thinking they have a bad voice but is not true at all, your voice is absolutely stunning no matter what other people say

✪ Mars - Moon in harsh aspects can be pretty scary while being mad, their feelings and reactions are literally changing from hot to cold and back, they are very impulsive while being mad and can end up to scream and cry in the same time [minor Aspects applied the energy can still be felt 💁🏻‍♀️]

✪ Uranus quintile Venus can feel excited when they start to be in a relationship, is this little spark in their souls is feeling excited when they are in love and can often experience butterflies

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

But at least I have the memory

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

✪ Venus - Moon aspects like to listen to music and make it a part of the lives, these natives enjoy the music based on how they feel at that moment and it can be a state of soul for them but also very eliberating, music heals their soul

✪ Neptune - Mercury/Venus aspects have a really encroaching voice, like a fresh breeze of air their voices are feeling so smooth and soft is literally so angelic

✪Venus in Earth Signs and Water Signs is literally the vibe of "I give you all my heart" and is so cute is literally so romantic and passionate, it also gives Venus in the 11th house vibes they love with their souls omg

✪ Never hurt a Venusian/Cancerian Moon please [Taurus, Libra, Cancer] they like to make memories and moments with the people they love and once you hurt someone like this they will delete all the memories with you and become harsh

✪ Juno Asteroid [3] with Pisces influence (Pisces Degrees 12°, 24° or Juno in Pisces/12th house) can have a spouse who can seek for emotional and physical touch (Everything related to Pisces is so romantic)

✪ Juno asteroid [3] with Scorpio Influence (Scorpio Degrees 8°, 20° or Juno in Scorpio/8th house) can have a very possesive spouse, someone very protective aswell but also jealous with probably jealousy issues

✪ Juno Asteroid [3] with Virgo influence (Virgo Degrees 6°, 18° or Juno in Virgo/Juno in the 6th house) can have a very admirable spouse, their spouse can be hardworking and that can give then succes, also someone with a golden heart and very gentle

✪ Juno with Libra Influence [At Libra Degrees 7°, 19° or Juno in Libra/7th house) are the people who search for a harmonious relationship and seek balance for them, they want someone who can accept them and someone very romantic/passionate

✪ Juno - Mars aspects can have a lot of passion and romantism in their relationship while also posesivness and conflicts/they can get jealous fast and very possesive of their spouse of vice versa

✪ Venus/Mercury rulling over the 8th house can make the native to be very sensual in voice either it's body, they really know how to touch someone's heart with their words and that can make other people to simp for them,Venus and Mercury signs in the 8th house are, Libra, Taurus and Gemini with Virgo.

✪ Venus in Fire signs [Aries, Sagittarius, Leo] fall to fast in love, for real they are like seeing someone and the next minute can end up crushing over that person but if they are ending up hurt in this process they are healing kinda slow

✪ In my opinion Lilith is the side of us who is sensual showing to people but True Lilith is our inner sensuality who only few can see or show

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

☁️ The weather is so chill today I like it so much in here, it reminded me of some nostalgia and had to make a post about this theme ☁️

💕 Hope everyone reading my notes has a good day full of light and good energy 💕

[onegirlmanytales]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐔𝐬 - 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Everyone is born unable to see color until they find their soulmate. You never gave much thought to it. You preferred to focus on other things, like your career. But the universe has a way of revealing its plans for you. Of course, humans have always been rather stubborn beings, and they don’t always listen to those kismet interventions.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬: soulmate au (with a twist), modern au, angst (hurt/no comfort, the comfort comes in part 2), rejection (not from Eddie, you’ll see), artist!reader, rockstar!eddie, reader wears a skirt, reader uses she/her pronouns, background Ronance, some Cheerscops (Steve x Chrissy)

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.4k

𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

A/N: This part is more of a setup! Part two will get into Eddie and readers dynamic. This is my first full length since I’ve been back. It feels really good to be writing again. Also as requested, here are your complimentary tissues 🗳️ I hope you enjoy ♥️

There have been many myths throughout the course of human history that tried to explain the concept of soulmates. From Greece to Japan, tales have been told of two humans connected by fate. Either by soul or string, there is a profound bond that cannot be explained. Nobody really knew where soulmates came from or how they were created. You certainly didn’t.

All that was known was until you met your soulmate you wouldn’t see what they called color. You weren’t entirely sure what color was. You’d tried to understand it, you’d tried listening to people who had met their soulmate explain what it was. But their explanations never really made sense. You knew certain “colors” could be found in certain things. Like how apparently the sky was something called blue which supposedly was beautiful.

The world you knew, the world most people knew, was only in shades of black and white. Finding one’s soulmate was a rare occurrence that few had the luxury of experiencing. It was like winning the lottery, although some experts argued you had better luck with the powerball. Because of this you didn’t give your soulmate much thought. As wonderful as the idea sounded, you didn’t want to be one of those people who threw their lives away as soon as they turned 18 in pursuit of something so fantastical. After all, you didn’t need a soulmate to find love. Plenty of people had lived fulfilling lives full of love without ever meeting their soulmate.

No, you refused to get caught up in something so improbable. Instead you put your focus on your work and your friends.

Art was your calling. Most artists, unless they had found their soulmate, stuck to the monochromatic color scheme of black and white. But even though you couldn’t see the colors, you used them. Finding colored paint was not any easy task. With so few people being able to see the differing colors the market for it was almost nonexistent. But so was the audience for your paintings. The soul-matched, as they were called, seemed to flock to your work, always intrigued that as an unmatched you not only used colors, but used them for portraits of the matched.

It had started just as an experiment. Something you wanted to try for your soul-matched friends Robin and Nancy for their anniversary. Eventually word spread to the other matched, and you began creating commissions for them. It wasn’t exactly something you could make a living on with such a niche crowd but you enjoyed it, and you took other commissions in order to actually make money. But those portraits were your favorite to create.

Your best friend and roommate Chrissy was your biggest supporter. Even if she couldn’t understand how someone who wasn’t interested in finding their soulmate worked so hard for the soul-matched.

“Just think of where you could take your art if you could actually see the colors!” She said, sitting across from you at the little table you and your friends frequented at the local cafe. Your other friends Nancy and Robin were with you. Both of them were listening intently as you all enjoyed your usual brunch.

“I don’t think that’s a very good reason to try to find my soulmate. Shouldn’t I look for them for the sake of finding them?” You asked with a raised brow as you took a sip of your coffee, peering over the rim of the mug to her.

Chrissy shook her head with a slight smile, “Well…yeah. But how else am I going to convince you to try?” She retorted, making you chuckle. “Why don’t you want to at least try and find the one person you’re destined to be with?”

“How do you know its destiny?”

“Because it…because it is!” Chrissy huffed.

Ever the hopeless romantic, Chrissy had been looking for her soulmate for as long as you’d known her. She’d tell you in detail what she wanted him to be like. So much so that you wondered if Chrissy had already met him.

“Lay off her Chris,” Robin piped in. “She’s not interested. Besides, you don’t need to find your soulmate to find love. None of our parents were soulmates.”

“Sue me for wanting me and all my friends to find their perfect person!” She laughed.

“I think you can find your perfect person even if they aren’t your soulmate,” Nancy shrugged.

“Easy for you to say,” Chrissy scoffed. “You met yours!”

Robin and Nancy shared a loving glance, their hands entwining from where they laid on the table. Even if you never found your soulmate you always considered yourself lucky to know people who had. Watching Nancy and Robin fall in love had been a beautiful thing to witness. It made sense for anyone who had seen the way Nancy and Robin loved each other to want that same thing. You couldn’t blame Chrissy for craving such a thing. But that kind of love was rare.

“What about that guy you’ve been talking to?” You asked Chrissy. “What are you going to do when you meet him in person and he turns out to not be your soulmate?”

Chrissy froze, her big eyes staring at you. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and the guilt from your words washed over you. ���I’m sorry Chris I didn’t–”

“No it’s okay,” she shook her head. “You’re right. He might not be. If he isn’t I’ll…I’ll keep looking.”

You frowned at that, but didn’t say anything. For months Chrissy had been talking to and about Steve. She had “met” him through the dating app Soul Seekers, an app that claimed they could find your perfect soulmate with the help of their soulmate gurus. It always seemed like a scam to you, but you saw how happy Steve made Chrissy. Even if they hadn’t met in person. They stuck to talking on the phone and texting, never video chatting. They’d never seen each other's faces. It was by design, so that when the users of Soul Seekers met their supposed soulmates for the first time they’d get the full experience. But you worried for her. You didn’t want her to be disappointed when it turned out he wasn’t the one.

It had happened before and you wondered how many times it would happen before she gave up on love entirely.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Eddie had never believed in any of the soulmate “bullshit.” He thought it was all made up, a fairytale that had been concocted to sell dating apps, regiments to help you attract your soulmate to you, and other various monetizations. He believed that these “colors” weren’t an indicator of fate. They were just a phenomenon that happened to some people.

They happened to him, once.

He’d traveled the country. He’d met thousands of people. Yet the one time he met someone he thought was his soulmate, she rejected him. Insisting that it couldn’t be true. Just as soon as the colors appeared they were gone, and so was she.

He tried not to think about her. He tried not to think about the colors of her. But every once in a while his mind slipped back to that place. To that bar. To that moment where his drink met her dress, their eyes locked, and suddenly the world around him changed. It only lasted for a few minutes. But those measly minutes were the most beautiful he had ever witnessed. Until it was ripped away from him.

So it had to be a lie. Otherwise the colors would have stayed. Otherwise she would have stayed.

He instead chose to focus on his music, his band. Corroded Coffin was finally starting to make a name for themselves. They were on a break from their tour for their newest album for a few months before they started their South American leg. In their downtime they stayed in Chicago. It was only a few hours away from their hometown, giving them a chance to visit their families if they wanted to without having to stay in the hellhole they deemed Hawkins to be.

As soon as they got off the plane, Jeff and Artie’s girlfriends met them both at the gate. The two girls practically lept into their arms. Eddie might have been a cynic when it came to soulmates, but seeing the way his friends lit up when they saw the people they loved most was enough to warm even his usual icy exterior. To him it was just further proof that soulmates were bullshit. Here were two of his best friends, in love and happy with two women that were perfect for them and yet there was still no color.

What truer love could there be?

“Looks like it’s just us Gare Bear,” Eddie said, slinging his arm over Gareth's shoulder.

“Speak for yourself Munson,” a deep voice spoke up from behind them. They both turned to see Gareth’s boyfriend, Paul. Pushing Eddie away, Gareth enveloped his boyfriend in a tight hug. Whispering affections to each other that Eddie couldn’t hear.

As the couples all reunited Eddie stood on the sidelines, watching their tender kisses and squeezing embraces. A front man on the stage but a bystander in life. He was the only member that wanted them to keep going. No stops before the next leg, just straight to the next thing. To the next show, to the next crowd. Forever moving. But his bandmates weren’t like that. They had put down roots in this city. They had found a home there.

Music might have been their life, but it wasn’t what kept them going.

While all the couples went to their respective homes to continue their long awaited reunions Eddie went to see his friend Steve. Having not seen his best friend in months, he was expecting to be welcomed with open arms. Maybe a celebratory beer. But then maybe he should have at least called first.

“Eddie, what are you doing here?” Steve asked when he opened the door to see the metalhead with his sunken tired eyes and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

“On break before the next leg,” Eddie replied as if it was obvious as he slinked past Steve into his apartment.

“Why aren’t you at your place?” Steve turned, watching as Eddie threw his bag on his couch and then went to his fridge to scavenge through it. Making himself right at home. As he always did.

“Thought I’d give Gare and Paul some alone time. I love the guy but there are just some things you don’t need to know about your bandmates,” Eddie chuckled as he started his search, looking for anything to eat or drink for his rumbling stomach. But his friend seemed to have a different taste then him, his fridge packed with fresh fruits and veggies. “Do you have any beer? Pizza?”

“Ed,” Steve sighed, exasperated. “I appreciate you stopping by and I’m really happy you’re back but you could have at least called first if you wanted to stay here.”

Eddie paused, pulling his head out the fridge and looked at his friend. “Do you want me to go?”

If there was one thing Steve knew about Eddie Munson it was that he had mastered the art of the puppy dog eyes. His big round eyes were designed for it and his mouth knew how to shape the most subtle yet perfect pout.

“No,” He relented. “You can stay.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

A dashing smile.

Big kind eyes.

The face of a man you’d never seen before.

He kept appearing in your dreams. You’d see him amongst a crowd of people, but before you could reach him he would be gone. At first you assumed it didn’t mean anything. But then it just kept happening.

By the third night you needed to know what it meant. Most of the sources you could find online claimed that you must have seen him at some point and you didn’t remember but your subconscious did. But then you found an article from a few years ago from someone who claimed they had seen their soulmate in their dreams before they met them. You weren’t sure whether to believe it or not. There were a lot of things online about people claiming fantastical things about their soulmates, like one person who claimed that they astral projected into their soulmates home but they could never find it, or them, afterwards. So you chose not to dwell on it. Pushing it to the back of your mind where it couldn’t pester you.

A week went by and the dreams persisted.

You kept trying the age old trick of going back to that same dream every time you woke up, but it never worked. You couldn’t get his face off your mind no matter how hard you tried. He consumed your thoughts.

Usually, when you found your thoughts to be too overwhelming you would paint. But that only led you to painting his face. Over and over again. The contours and shape of it were etched into your mind. You struggled to paint or draw any other. Every brush stroke, every scribble, led back to him. You never showed anyone these works. Especially not Chrissy. Your friends would only pester you to go out and find him. It scared you. Putting faith in the universe in this way was not something you did often. You weren’t sure if you could trust it.

One day while you were frantically scribbling another sketch of him there was a knock on your door. You quickly tried to hide it all away, tucking it under other loose papers before you went to answer it.

Your friend Jonathan smiled at you as he stood in your doorway. He gave you a confused look as he took in your disheveled appearance, hair a mess and hands and clothes covered in paint and ink from when you were working on another project before you got distracted by that pestering face.

“Did you forget about lunch?” Jonathan laughed softly. He was very used to you getting lost in your work, often leading you to forget about plans.

“No, no,” you said frantically. “We can go!” You went to grab your shoes when he stopped you by putting a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Do you want to clean up a bit first Picasso?” He asked, gesturing to your paint splattered overalls.

“Right, right. Come in, I'll be quick.”

As you dashed to your bedroom to make yourself presentable, Jonathan meandered around the small room you had turned into your studio. You never minded when he did it before. He often enjoyed seeing what you were working on. As he looked, he spotted something peculiar. Your sketchbook was under a pile of papers. It was usually out, always available in case an idea came to your mind. Assuming you had misplaced it, he plucked it from the pile. It was open to a sketch he hadn’t seen before of a man's face and as he flipped through that same man’s face kept appearing.

You washed up quickly, scrubbing your hands clean and changing your clothes into something that looked less like you had a fight with a bucket of paint and lost. As soon as you were done you went to find Jonathan. When you saw what he had in his hands you rushed over and swiped it from his grasp.

“Who is that?” He asked, jumping at the suddenness of your actions.

“No one it’s–” You sighed, taking a seat on a nearby stool as your fingers traced the drawn jawline. “I think it’s my soulmate.”

“Your soulmate? You’ve met him? When–”

“No, no I…I dreamt of him,” You looked up from the sketch to see Jonathan's perplexed face.

“You dreamt…oh. Wow. I didn’t know that was possible,” He shook his head in disbelief, striding over to look over your shoulder at the drawing once more. “He’s handsome.”

“Yeah,” You nodded. “But I…what if I’m wrong?”

“Then you’re wrong,” he shrugged. He saw your shoulders slump at his words. “Or you’re right! Can’t be sure until you meet him.”

That was what scared you. This strange man was supposedly your perfect person. The one your soul was matched to. But what if you weren’t what he expected? Your soulmate was the person who was supposed to bring color to your life. But what if your colors were too dull for him?

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Eddie was only supposed to stay with Steve for a day or two while Gareth and Paul became re-acquainted. But it had been a week since he showed up at his place. Eddie wasn’t sure what would have been worse, going back to his apartment and having to witness Gareth and Paul’s constant canoodling, or staying with Steve and listening to him go on and on about the girl he had met on that stupid scam of a dating app.

He was happy for his friends. He was. Ecstatic for Gareth who coming out was a challenge for, and for Steve who dreamed of meeting his soulmate. But he would be lying if he said their happiness didn’t leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

He’d tried dating after her. But no matter how hard he tried he was never able to find anyone that clicked just right. He was still searching for that feeling from when he first saw the colors. That shiver that went up his spine. That thrum in his nerves that made his hair stand to attention, the line of goosebumps that climbed up his arm.

It was the same feeling he got when he performed. That rush was something he craved. Every night for the last few months he never went without it. Being without it now, even for a week, was difficult.

Steve noticed the way Eddie seemed to mope around. Strumming aimlessly at his guitar and staring deadeyed at his phone as he watched old performances online. He needed to get out. To stretch his legs, breathe some fresh air or something.

“Hey Ed?” Steve called out to him from his bedroom.

“Yeah?” Eddie responded, voice monotone as his thumb continued to scroll.

Steve poked his head out of his room, adjusting the collar of his polo as he approached the lounging man. “You want to go out tonight? I have a date tonight with that girl I told you about, I could use some moral support.”

Eddie looked up from his phone then, looking at his friend dressed in a nice shirt and his favorite jeans with his hair purposely tousled just right.

“You’re really meeting her? Tonight?” He asked surprised.

“Yeah, I told you. Remember?”

“Right, right but…shit. Okay yeah I’ll come,” Eddie quickly got up from the couch giving Steve’s shoulder a squeeze when he went past him to freshen up in the bathroom.

It wasn’t Eddie’s ideal way to spend a night. But he had seen the way Steve had hurt when these things didn’t work out for him. He didn’t want that for him, so despite his own apprehension he agreed.

What he didn’t see was the way Steve smiled softly to himself in victory, hoping that perhaps Chrissy had a friend for Eddie. Someone who could melt his hardened heart.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Chrissy was freaking out. Her room had succumbed to utter chaos as she practically threw all the clothes she owned onto her bed in search of the perfect outfit. You, Nancy and Robin had tried to calm her. Offering her words of gentle reassurance. But her nerves consumed her. It worried you to see her putting so much pressure on herself. Chrissy was one of the best people you knew and if Steve couldn’t see that then it was his loss, and what a loss that would be.

“Which one?” She asked, holding up two dresses. You were sure you had already seen them, but you didn’t say that.

“Left,” You, Robin and Nancy all said in sync hoping she’d just pick one and be done with it.

“I like the right one,” Jonathan piped in. The three of you quickly turned your heads to glare at him, he stuck his hands up in surrender as he mouthed an apology while Chrissy turned back to her almost empty closet.

Chrissy had invited Nancy over to help her get ready and wherever Nancy went, Robin wasn’t far behind. Then when Jonathan learned the four of you would all be at your apartment, he tagged along claiming that his buddy Argyle was busy so he had no other place to be.

But knowing Jonathan, you knew he just wanted to be included. You were happy to do so. As long as he stopped, unintentionally, foiling your plans to get Chrissy to relax.

“Chris,” Nancy said softly as she stood from where she was perched on Chrissy’s bed. She carefully made her way over to her, putting her hands on her shoulders. “Why don’t I pick something out for you?”

Chrissy sighed in defeat and nodded, sitting beside you on the bed. She laid her head on your shoulder while Nancy looked through her closet.

“He’s gonna love you,” you whispered to her. “It’s impossible not to.” The corners of her lips rose in a slight smile as she hugged you from the side. “Maybe…” She lifted her head to turn and look at you, a hopeful gleam to her eyes. “Maybe you could come with me? Be my get out of jail free card?” She suggested.

“I don’t know…”

“Steve has a friend! He’s a muscian! It can be a double date.”

“I think it’s a little last minute Chris–”

Nancy cut off the conversation as she turned to the group, holding up a sleek off the shoulder dress. “How about this?” She asked.

“That’s pretty!” You nudged Chrissy.

“Yeah…” she said hesitantly. “But will Steve like it?”

“If he doesn’t then he doesn’t have taste,” Robin replied, grabbing the dress from Nancy and tossing it to Chrissy. “Get dressed so Nance can do your hair. You’re not the only one with plans tonight.”

“That’s my cue,” Jonathan rose from the bed and left her room so she could change. “Thanks Jonny!” Chrissy called out to him as he shut the door behind him, waving at her in acknowledgment. As Chrissy dressed, Nancy gathered what she needed to do her hair. You could still feel the nerves vibrating off of Chrissy. You didn’t want her to be disappointed if Steve turned out to not be what she expected. So, being the good friend you were, you caved.

“I’ll go with you,” You sighed.

“Really?” Chrissy asked excitedly, stumbling slightly as she tried to put on a pair of heels. “I’ll text Steve!”

You hoped you wouldn’t regret it. You didn’t understand why but you had a sinking feeling in your stomach about tonight.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The bar was crowded, the scent of beer and sweat was heavy in the air. Some cheesy love song played over the speaker, the singer droning on about losing their lover. The two men sat in a booth with Steve facing towards the entrance. His eyes were trained on it as he anxiously waited for his date's arrival.

“Excited?” Eddie said teasingly as he watched his friend's foot tap incessantly.

“What if…what if I’m not what she's expecting?” Steve looked at him, his face twisted in worry.

“Then clearly she has no taste,” Eddie stated matter of factly. “You’re a catch Stevie. If you were into dudes I’d be all over you.”

Steve laughed, his body easing slightly. Eddie smiled at having provided his friend with some comfort.

“What is this girl's name anyway?” He asked.

“I haven’t told you? It’s Chrissy.”

“Wait, Chrissy?”

The bar door opened and Steve’s head whipped in the direction of it, no longer paying any mind to Eddie or what he was saying. Chrissy entered the establishment with you in tow. The skirt Chrissy insisted you wore was tighter than you usually enjoyed and you kept adjusting it, trying to make it more comfortable. You and Chrissy scanned the bar in search of your dates when your eyes suddenly landed on a familiar face and your eyes met.

The man from your dreams was right in front of you and then…

Colors.

Colors as far as the eye could see. Everywhere. They came to the forefront of your vision like ink bleeding into paper.

He smiled widely, both in shock and joy as he waved you over, “Chrissy!” He shouted. Chrissy turned to him and quickly made her way over, embracing him in a tight hug. He looked down at her confused, then back at you for only a moment before he brought his attention back to her. You hesitantly made your way over, your eyes strained on him trying to not get distracted by just how colorful the world had become, and to not give away how it had changed.

Chrissy introduced you to Steve but you couldn’t hear a word she was saying. You felt like you were drowning, her words gargling in your ears as you looked at the man before him. The same freckles and moles you had been drawing incessantly were now within an arm's reach.

But he was looking at Chrissy.

“Your eyes are so…wow,” he breathed. Chrissy blushed, you saw the color rising in her cheeks and you couldn’t help but stare as it did.

“Thank you,” She said softly, her voice syrupy sweet as she looked up at him in adoration.

You felt like you were going to throw up.

Eddie was just as frozen as you were, staring at Chrissy. The girl that had made all the colors disappear. He always wondered if he saw her again if they would return, but they didn’t.

She met his eyes and her body stiffened as recognition swiped across her features.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” Steve was grinning so widely you thought his smile would split his face in half.

Chrissy shook her head, trying to snap herself out of it after seeing Eddie’s face again. “I know! It’s so good to finally see your face!” She responded gleefully.

“No I mean…the colors,” He gestured around them, but Chrissy only looked at him in confusion. Then his eyes widened in horror as he realized and he turned to you.

“You,” Eddie pointed at Chrissy. He didn’t want to believe it.

She was here. Right here in front of him, and she was Steve’s girl. The same girl he had been gushing over. The same girl that had brought his friend so much happiness.

Steve looked to Eddie, begging for help with his eyes to his friend. When it clicked for Eddie what was happening he returned that same look of horror.

“I-I don’t understand,” Chrissy frowned.

“The colors,” Steve said. “I-I can see them.” He stared back at you and you felt as though you couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe.

“Colors? What–” Chrissy looked at you then, and it all snapped into place.

“Yeah the colors. You remember those don’t you Chrissy?” Eddie snapped.

“What are you–” Steve started to say but you cut him off.

“Okay everyone just…just stop for a minute please,” You pleaded. You needed to get your thoughts together. It was too much. It was all too much. The three of them all looked at you, as if you had the answers. But you didn’t. You were just as baffled as the rest of them.

“What does he mean you remember the colors?” Steve looked to Chrissy.

Her mouth opened like she was going to say something, but it closed quickly.

“Chrissy and I have met before,” Eddie explained. “Last summer in Miami–”

“Eddie please–” She begged, but he continued on.

“We saw the colors. I thought we were soulmates. But apparently I wasn’t good enough for her, and they disappeared.”

“No that’s not–” Chrissy sighed frustrated. “Yes we met. But we’re not…it was just a fluke. If it wasn't, the colors wouldn’t have disappeared!”

“What is he talking about Chris?” You turned to Chrissy, confusion and pain laced in your words. In all the time you’ve known her she never told you. She was always looking, searching, hoping, to find her soulmate. But she already had.

“Look, remember when I visited my aunt in Miami? Well I met Eddie there and I thought he was it. But it didn’t…it didn’t feel right. Your soulmate is supposed to be your perfect person and he’s not—“ she cut herself off for a moment and as you glanced at Eddie you saw the pain in his eyes as she spoke. “—and then the colors went away so I knew that it wasn’t true.”

As the words left her mouth all Eddie heard was that he wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t right. He was too imperfect. Too loud. Too brash. Too opinionated. Too weird. Too much and simultaneously not enough.

Steve looked at you then, “Do you see them?” He asked. You could only nod, not able to meet your best friend's eyes any more.

Chrissy’s face twisted in hurt as she looked between you and Steve. Her best friend and the man she had fallen for. Soulmates.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” Eddie asked Chrissy, his voice laced with disdain for her.

“Shut up Eddie!” Steve snarled. He turned back to Chrissy and took her hands in his. “Look I…I don’t care,” he began, his face softening as he looked down at the woman before him. “I don’t care if I don’t see the colors with you. These last few months I…I fell in love with you. I love you. I don’t care what the stupid universe says, I want you.”

They kissed, and it burned you. Like a fire poker straight out of the flames, stabbing through your chest, piercing your very soul. All those years of not even entertaining the idea of finding your soulmate and yet you did, only for him to choose someone else. It was unheard of. Nobody who actually found their soulmates rejected them...right?

You didn’t even know Steve. But having your worst fear come true right before your eyes made your heart snap in two.

Your colors weren’t bright enough for him after all.

You couldn’t stay there. You couldn’t watch them together. So you ran. Chrissy called your name, but you didn’t hear her.

Steve turned to Eddie only to meet his friends stare, icy and cold. “Eddie–” he started to say. But he didn’t want to hear it. So he turned on his heel and left.

Eddie didn’t go home. He wasn’t sure where he could go. Steve’s place was out of the question and the last thing he needed was to be around the lovebirds Gareth and Paul. Instead, he found another bar. He sat in the corner, alone, and drank away. Getting lost in the bottle in hopes of forgetting her face, Steve’s face and even yours.

The pain in it reflected his own and he wanted to erase the memory of it from his mind. He wanted to eradicate all memory of the colors, of that feeling, of the time he believed in soulmates and sought his own out. He was young and naive then. He’d never make that mistake again.

By the morning he would call his manager and ask him to cut the break short. He’d be back on the road and out of this city. Far away from the messy disaster it had all become. Far away from all talk of soulmates and fate and colors. He’d disappear into the music for a few more months.

Only this time he hoped he could stay gone. For good.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You had walked for a block with your arms hugged around yourself. Not sure of where you could go, you sat on the curb. Cars whizzed by you, but you paid them no mind as tears poured from your eyes. The pavement was cold and scratchy under your thighs as you hid your face in your hands and cried.

He didn’t want you. You should have expected it. He wasn’t yours, he was Chrissy’s. You didn’t even know him.

So then why did it burn?

As you lifted your head up from your hands and wiped your tears you looked around at the bright night of the city before you. The colors were gone. Just as quickly as they had appeared they were gone again, and your sobs filled the silence of the night.

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈 →

Thank you for reading! I hope I can keep this writing momentum going. Reblogs and comments are appreciated and cherished! ♥️

Special thanks to my Nibs @paybacksawitch for beta reading this for me, ily thank you for always being so supportive and talking me down whenever I get too in my head about things.

I do not give permission to have my work copied, translated, reposted on any platform, or put into any AI programs.

Dividers by yours truly

Gia’s Gems taglist: @bettyfrommars @ali-r3n @devilinthepalemoonlite @spenciesprincess @belladonnaa-0

@allthingsjoeq @etherealxwitch @siriuslysmoking @thereaderdelilah @steves-babysitter

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Hi taglists!! I missed you guys 🥹

Please let me know if you’d like to be added to Gia’s Gems (all fics), Munson’s Maniacs (Eddie fics), Harrington’s Heathens (Steve fics), or Jonathan’s Jellybeans (jonathan fics, obviously). There is no taglist for this particular series.

[myfictionaldreams]

Don’t Fall Asleep // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: It was supposed to be a normal day, but not in fate's eyes as you and Sam are hit by a drunk driver. How will Steve and Bucky react when they hear their girls been hurt?

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, angst (LOTS), Fluff, car crash, blood and injury, crying, anxiety, hurt/comfort, recovery, domestic bliss, teasing, praise kink, daddy kink, fingering, multiple orgasms, nipple play

Words: 5.1k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link 

Life is precious, something that many take for granted. On occasions, phrases such as ‘live life to the fullest or ‘you could die tomorrow, take the opportunities as they come’ are often quoted but then disregarded. Every person who is living, has ever lived and will ever live; will experience the positives to living, the happiness that swells in their chest but then the balance to this, that makes living so tumultuous was the sadness and darkness that could destroy lives in a blink of an eye.

You, for one, were thankful for all of the time that you’d been able to share with Steve and Bucky. They’d changed your life to an unimaginable level, having never experienced true love, protection and simplicity until being in their areas. But of course, happiness can only last for so long, too many opportunities for near misses within the mafia that your luck was bound to run out at some point.

The real kick in the teeth was that this darkened day in your life was even centred around the gang and its criminal activities. In fact, it had been a rather plain day for you, starting the same as any other, Steve and Bucky attending the office to make sure everything was running smoothly and you’d planned to run some errands with Sam Wilson, your friend and bodyguard.

So far, you’d been food shopping, collected a couple of parcels and now were on your way to the art shop to pick up a few supplies for Steve who liked to draw in his spare time.

Sam was driving the two of you, rolling his eyes playfully as you flicked through the radio channels, not finding any satisfaction with what was being played and being too lazy to connect your phone to the bluetooth.

“Oh, I love that song!” Sam gasped, brushing your hand out of the way and switching to the channel you’d just casually skipped past. You laughed at his excitement, happy to also listen to the song if it made Sam happy which by his exaggerated singing, he was definitely enjoying it.

The roads around you weren’t excessively busy, thankfully the football was on so the majority of people were inside a bar and watching that. It was just a perfectly mundane, normal day but life always liked to test your limits when you least expected it.

The initial impact was something you wouldn’t ever remember, as a drunk driver smashed into your side of the car, causing it to flip several times before landing upside down. You’d been knocked out for a couple of minutes, only just waking up as Sam’s urgent shouts made it through the buzzing in your ears, your entire body felt lifeless and drained as he was able to undo your buckle and pull you a safe distance away. The drunk driver who had crashed into you had died on impact.

It was as the sirens blared in the distance, did you begin to feel the wetness and warmth starting from your head and moving down various parts of your body but you were completely dazed to understand that you’d sustained a head injury, your right wrist and leg broken and pointing in the wrong angles and a multitude of cuts and gashes covering your exposed skin due to the glass.

Sam was holding a section of his ripped shirt against the area of your head that was thumping along with your racing heartbeat, and in his other hand, he held his phone plastered to his ear. You couldn’t tell who he was on the phone too, but the desperation in his eyes, as he looked down at you, it wasn’t good. As you had taken the direct hit of the car and Sam was on the other side, he had the pain and aches from the whiplash, a deep gash through his eyebrow that was steadily leaking blood and then a scattering of cuts from the glass, otherwise was mostly unscathed.

“That’s it, sweetheart, keep looking at me, the medics aren’t far away”, Sam’s voice sounded as if he was underwater, completely drowned out by the high-pitched, excessive buzzing that still consumed your consciousness. “Yeah, she’s awake-” Sam continued on the phone, unbeknown to you, to your boyfriends who were already in the car and driving to the area.

Oh course, he had already called the medics, as well as a couple of people from the growing crowd around the accident and soon after called his bosses, Steve and Bucky who sounded like they were both going to throw up and kill someone at the same time.

“Sam?” you managed to ask, not for anything in particular, in all honesty, you were just trying to reach for some kind of comfort and seeing him above you as just that.

“It’s ok, the boys are nearly here, you’re doing so well, just keep your eyes on me, please sweetheart, NO- don’t close your eyes”, Sam tried to keep you awake, dropping his phone onto the pavement below to give you his fullest attention but you were already unconscious again.

The next time you’re awake again, the paramedics had arrived and neck support had been attached to keep you stationary. “Hey y/n, can you hear us? Can you squeeze my finger for me?”, the closest medic was asking but you didn’t respond, mostly still out of it, dazed and confused.

Then across the commotion, the deafening screech of ties breaking across the tarmac was heard and the frantic shouts of your name as Steve and Bucky had arrived. This was something you would never remember, your eyes closed before they even reached you and it was probably for the best that you couldn’t remember it, possibly only adding more trauma to the situation.

Sam stepped back and watched the scene unfold before him, giving both of your boyfriend's room to be next to you as the medics continued to look after you. The bodyguard wiped a hand over his face, ignoring the painful injuries as tears welled in his eyes at seeing his bosses and also life-long friends completely break down.

They seemed lost between wanting to still be possessive, demanding to know everything that the medics were doing, and then the heartbreak of seeing you so injured and unresponsive, they didn’t know whether to shout or cry. At one point Bucky had to step away to vomit, it was complete chaos.

It took a couple of days for you to be fully conscious again and even this wasn’t a relief, even though it was something that Steve and Bucky had begged to anyone that would listen to occur. The confusion of the accident was still evident, unsure of where you were, why you couldn’t move properly, and why there were so many things attached to your body. You became quickly hysteric, ignoring the pleas from Steve and Bucky to try and calm down but your response was enough that the doctors deemed it appropriate to try and sedate you back into a peaceful sleep.

This was definitely for the best as you weren’t able to comprehend the state of which your boyfriends were even in, something that definitely would have upset you further. They both hadn’t changed their clothes the entire time, malnourished of food and drink as they obsessively sat next to your bed, day and night, unshaven, the whites of their eyes red from lack of sleep and crying. Both would take it in turns to go to the toilet before coming so you always had someone next to your bed, it was obsessive and no matter how many times the Doctors tried to escort the men to get some real sleep, they would simply shoot daggers at the professionals with their eyes before being left to it.

 Thankfully after every scan and test that was done, it was determined that there would be no lasting damage, the wound on your temple was sutured with dissolvable stitches and your wrist and arm were placed into casts, with physiotherapy planned in the future and of course, your body was deeply bruised along with whiplash strain. Now, they just needed you to wake up to assess the memory loss and if there was any other damage from the impact to your brain.

They were lucky that the gang were able to continue as usual with the remaining members who had all been ordered to not disturb you all, no distractions necessary. Natasha was the only person to have the courage to visit and thankfully didn’t back down from the fight as she gave both of her bosses a stern talking too.

“When she wakes up, which SHE WILL, do you think she’d want to see you both looking like this? She’s injured and will be for some time, she shouldn’t be waking up with you both in this state, it’s probably make her more distressed. You need to get your shit together, go and shower, shave, eat a proper meal, and put on some new clothes so that when she wakes up, she has some stability and you’re actually prepared to look after her rather than moping around feeling sorry for yourselves!”.

In any other situation, Steve and Bucky would have been ready for a fight but Natasha’s brutal honesty was what they needed to hear, not as their employee but as their friend so they did exactly that.

Another 24 hours passed and you were finally beginning to stir, eyes fluttering open and head turning in the direction of the welcoming voices of your boyfriends and for the first time in days, they saw a hint of a smile on your beautiful face. You had no recognition of the last few days or anything from the accident but after a few further tests, they were happy to discharge you home to rest which you needed as it was complete agony to try and move with the ache in your muscles.

The two men didn’t seem to want to let go of you the entire time, if they were holding your hand, they were rubbing small circles against your uninjured leg, or stroking their thumb against your cheek, it was almost as if they were scared that once they let go of you, something bad would happen.

This only aided with the fact that you couldn’t walk was just another excuse for Steve and Bucky to carry you everywhere which was difficult at first with the discomfort in your body but it was better than any other option and it meant that you could properly embrace them, even for those short moments.

Then at long last, you were home, and you couldn’t deny crying happy tears as you saw the decorations that had been left in surprise by the Rogers gang, banners reading “welcome home!” and balloons covering nearly every surface of the living room. Everything was perfect, even the natural smell of your home was enough to have you crumbling into a mess.

It was hard to try and get accustomed to living at home after surviving such a traumatic experience, the physical and emotional toll was something no one could have prepared you for. As the three of you settled into your bed that evening, you had to find the right way to lie with the casts on your limbs still making it difficult to move and the ache still throbbing throughout your neck and spine, it wasn’t particularly comfortable. But finally, with you lying in the middle, your leg propped up on a couple of pillows, Steve to your right and Bucky to your left, you began to comprehend everything that had happened.

You sobbed harder than you thought possible, even becoming breathless as you verged on hyperventilating at thinking about your life nearly ending. Steve and Bucky tried to soothe you but their own emotional trauma came to a head as they too revealed their devastation at nearly losing you, both men crying as you all held one another.

But as the saying goes: ‘time heals all wounds’.

It wasn’t easy, not that you’d expected it to but as each day passed and your body ached less and less and the scratches began to heal, it lessened the pain in your heart. There would always be struggles but they were made easier with your devoted boyfriends.

With the broken wrist, it was difficult to cut your food and eat so Steve and Bucky insisted on feeding you, even if you could use your one hand to lift a fork to your mouth, they were going to make sure you rested in any way, smiling as they fed you every bite of every year. The worst change was going to the toilet, the boys offering to wipe but this was one step too far, you could do that but it was getting up again off of the toilet or waking them in the middle of the night that had your cheeks burning with embarrassment but they were more than happy to help you

“I’m here to look after you, no matter what it is that you’d like, I WANT to do it Doll. Ii know you want some dependency but this isn’t forever, it’s just for now so please let me look after you”, Bucky sweetly said after you frustratedly dropped your shirt to the floor, having been struggling to put it on for a while.

After a week of being home, Sam finally came to visit and once again you found yourself crying as he dropped to the couch and you both held onto each other. He’d been given some much-needed time off to recover and had been visiting his sister and nephews but now, he wanted to come and visit, really see that you were healing.

Finally gathering your emotions, you pulled back and wiped your face of tears, a genuine smile replacing your sad features as you saw the scratches over his face had most healed, only leaving the healing cut over his eyebrow.

“Everyone is going to love this new rugged look”, you commented, glancing at his injury. “The ladies will come running with the bad boy look”.

“Ah I know, who could deny such a handsome face, it’s a curse believe me”, he joked back, relief also settling over his body at hearing you relaxing. “Even better now we’re matching, bet we look like a right pair of hooligans”, he joked, looking up at the plaster still attached to your head covering the healing stitches.

“I think it just adds character”, you grinned back at him before your smile slowly faded as your tone became more serious. “Sam… I can’t even begin to thank you for looking after me”.

Sam’s eyes dropped to look into his lap, losing the strength to hide his emotions, “I didn’t do much-”.

“Yes, you did! You pulled me out of the vehicle and looked after me before the medics arrived, but it’s not just during this accident, you’ve always looked after me. I’m so grateful to have you in my life and I’m so glad you’re ok”.

Sam’s eyes twinkled as he looked up, his throat bobbing as he couldn’t muster up the words to talk, instead just pulling you into a hug that conveyed more emotions than words could have. Steve and Bucky also pulled Sam into crushing hugs, “Thank you for looking after our girl”, whispered between friends.

“Please go and put your feet up Sam, you deserve the time off!” you shouted after Sam as he moved towards the exit.

“I’ll try my best Boss Lady, you rest up too”, he replied with his beaming smile returning to his handsome face.

Another day passes as you sat at the edge of your bed with Bucky on his knees between your legs, his expression stern and unblinking as he concentrated on his job at hand.

“How does it look, is it horrible? Is it long? Do I look ugly?” you asked, looking up at his face as he leaned in closer to your face, his fingers gently easing the plaster away from your face as he inspected the stitches on your head.

“You could never be beautiful”, he mumbled under his breath, easing the last corner of your plaster off and then sitting back to assess the sight before him. Bucky’s face dropped causing your heartbeat to increase frantically in your chest.

“What? Is it bad? Bucky what is it?!” you asked desperately. Racing across the bed, you tried to pick up the hand mirror to have a look yourself but Bucky snatched it up before you could grab it, holding it at arm's length so that you couldn’t reach it.

“I’m not sure that you’ll want to see this Doll”, his voice was low and thick with concern.

“Oh my god Bucky please tell me, has it healed wrong?” You were really beginning to panic now, about to call for Steve to come and help when Bucky’s hard exterior broke and a taunting grin spread across his face making his eyes crinkle in the corners.

“You look just as beautiful mama”, he affectionately whispered, kissing your cheek and handing the mirror to you to show that the injury was nearly completely healed, only a different toned colour lay on your forehead, the stitches mostly invisible.

You rolled your eyes dramatically realising that he had been teasing you, “That wasn’t nice Barnes”.

“Ah, but you love me”, he mocked, lips brushing against yours softly, only enough to feel the slightest pressure of his soft lips.

“Yes I do”, you gave in instantly, using your uninjured hand to cup his jaw tenderly, stroking against his slightly stubbled skin, holding him there to kiss more deeply.

Before anything became too heated, Bucky was pulling back, pecking the tip of your nose before helping you into his arms to carry down for some dinner.

This was how it had been since returning from the hospital. It wasn’t that you were rushing to be intimate with them but they were both so adamant about your healing that there had been a very strict: no-touching rule. At first, when it even hurt to move you were more than happy to comply with the instruction but as your mobility improved and their kisses began to linger for longer or hands would wash over your body with more intent than to clean your skin, it was becoming more difficult to resist the urges that you were experiencing.

Downstairs, Steve was preparing a stew for you all, chopping the vegetables on the counter and smiling over his shoulder as he saw you and Bucky approaching. As Bucky placed you at the dinner table that was in the sizeable kitchen, Steve wiped his hand on the kitchen towel and sauntered over, leaning his arms on either side of your chair, his eyes level with your revealed head injury.

“It’s looking good isn’t it?” Bucky commented as he took over Steve’s job of chopping up the vegetables.

“It does, and it’ll keep looking better with each day, the Doctor did a good job of fixing up my baby”, Steve responded, his finger under your chin to tilt your head back so he could leave a searing kiss against your mouth. Your body leaned into a kiss and then he was moving away far too prematurely, leaving you wanting more but you didn’t verbalise this, not having the heart to complain after they’d been looking after you so much.

“Could I… Could I help in some way please?” you asked, looking hopefully between Steve and Bucky as they continued with prepping dinner. The two glanced at each other before Steve walked over with a chopping board, knife and carrot that had already been peeled. “Thank you!” you beamed up at him, happy that even though there were so many things that they were willing to help you with, they did try and give you some independence.

Not that it was easy to try and chop up a carrot with one hand still in a solid cast so after far too many attempts at sawing into the carrot, you decided instead to slam the knife down in sharp chops, leaving the carrot in three large chunks.

“Um… done!” you nervously announced to the boys.

Steve returned to pick up the chopping board, “good job, baby”, he praised, kissed the top of your head and you grinned as he placed the carrots in with the rest of the mixture, even though it was extremely obvious which carrot you had chopped compared to Bucky’s thinly sliced carrots. You loved the way they handled you, there was no hint of condescension from either of them when you tried to help and it was all to help you get back into a routine of normality.

Even if they did still continue to feed you which you secretly enjoyed now as it meant you get to sit in either of their laps and feel close to them.

That evening, you asked if you could have a bath which they were happy to help you into, Bucky was in charge of keeping your arm and leg outside of the tub to not get the cast wet and wrapping them both in cling film took entirely too long. Whereas Steve was in charge of washing your body with a sponge slathered in shower gel, another insistence from them both, even though you were more than capable of washing your body with your other hand.

You couldn’t wait for these damn casts to be off, “I can’t wait to have a shower”, you vocalised to them both, watching as Steve washed across your shoulders from where he sat on the edge of the bathtub.

“Hmm. I am going to miss this though”, Steve observed, not hiding that he loved being able to look after you. Closing your eyes, you enjoyed the little pamper session but as the sponge grazed over your perked nippled, you couldn’t help but lean into the touch, a moan forming in the back of your throat.

Steve’s chuckle had you looking up at him through half-lidded eyes as he asked, “Did you like that, baby girl?”

“Yes”, you admitted, watching as he did it again, paying particular attention to the very peaks of your nipples and then rubbing over the rest of your breasts in circular movements.

There was nothing you wanted more than to feel their bodies pressed against yours but with your limited use and weakness throughout your entire body, even with your good hand, you knew you’d tire quickly and not be able to satisfy them so you still refrained from asking them to fully pleasure you.

“You’re so beautiful, Mama”, Bucky watched with dark eyes, licking his lips almost hungrily and you whined at the sight, back arching more into Steve’s movements.

As the sponge moved over your body, through the water that lapped against the edges of the porcelain tub, you noticed the way that Steve was pressing more firmly on certain areas, especially in between your legs that had you grinding to feel more.

But like all of the other times, he never made a move to go any further and you were feeling more sexually frustrated than you had before, even after they both helped to dry you with a towel, in between your legs remained damp as your juices still trickled out.

Bucky carried you to the bed, placing you in the middle, the same as every night and you were completely naked, something that you had quickly decided was the comfiest, it always takes far too long to put on your pyjamas when Steve and Bucky always wrapped around you and kept you warm.

As you settled into the bed, leg again propped up on multiple pillows, you waited patiently for the boys to both join you as they cleaned the bathroom. However today, it was taking far too long and if you concentrated hard enough, you could hear them both talking quietly to one another.

As you opened your mouth to ask what was taking them so long, they joined back in the bedroom, removing their clothes, save for their boxers, switched the lights off and clambered into bed. As their overtly warm skin smoothed against yours, your questions slipped into the back of your mind, finding their comfort already distracting.

With a kiss on each of your cheeks, you closed your eyes to try and go to sleep and ignore the agonising ache in your core. But it seemed Bucky had other ideas as his hand rested on your abdomen, over your belly button, his thumb stroking the skin in slow circles as his hand dripped lower and lower.

You didn’t stop him, chest rising and falling with increasing speed as his fingers teased over your mound, the lowest that they’d been since between the accident. Your breath caught in your throat, screaming in your mind for him to keep going, to dip that little bit lower.

Steve’s hand cupped your jaw, the touch distracting you from the one teasing to push between your legs as he forced your head to turn in the direction of where he lay. Opening your eyes, even in the dark you could see his intense stare, as he began to speak, his minty breath coated your face, “Do you want us to keep touching you, baby?”

“Yes”, you sounded more desperate than you’d hoped to, his question feeling like some sort of light in the darkness, now realising this must have been what they had spoken about in the bathroom.

“You sure you’re feeling up to it?”, he continued to ask, his fingers moving over your jaw and down your throat, grazing over your collarbone and still lower until hovering over your left nipple.

“Yes, fuck yes”, you groaned, arching up to feel his hand but he kept it far enough away that you didn’t get the touch you wanted.

“If you get too tired and overwhelmed, will you tell us?”

“I promise!”, you pleaded, moving your unbroken leg to the side slightly, giving Bucky more room. “But…But I also want to touch you, I want you both to feel good!”

It was Bucky who spoke next, his mouth moving to graze the shell of your ear as he tutted, “Not tonight Doll, let us make you feel good, wanna hear your sweet moans, you deserve this, you’ve done so well”.

You were moaning before his fingers even slipped lower but as the tip of his middle finger grazed between your folds and touched against your throbbing clit, your whole body seemed to come alight.

Steve's fingers then lowered as well, in time with Bucky, pressing against your nipples and he groaned at just how hard they were, gently pinching and tweaking them before grasping the entire breast and massaging the tissue.

“You’re so wet for me Honey, is this what you wanted? Did you want us to touch you here?” Bucky teased before nipping the lobe of your ear.

“Wanted it so bad!”, you gasped as Bucky moved lower, finding your hole and circling it a few times, feeling just how soaked for him that you were before pushing in a single digit, not stopping until it was all the way in. “Bucky!”

Your walls fluttered around him, having not been penetrated for what felt like so long now and he was careful to start slow, really building up the pressure which matched with Steve’s hands on your chest, was already driving you insane with arousal.

In and out his finger slowly moved, his thumb skillfully brushing over your clit to match his pace. Then he was adding another finger and your leg widened further, thighs shaking slightly as you had to refrain from reaching out for them both, knowing that you’d end up knocking your broken wrist so kept them at your sides.

“That feels so good Bucky,” you praised, turning your head towards him.

“Yeah? Want me to make you cum, Mama?” he asked, his lips now hovering over yours.

“Yes, please!”.

As his lips met yours, hastily moving against each other, Bucky’s fingers began to curl and his thumb applied more pressure. Every nerve in your body seemed to come alive as they were being pleasured and you were experiencing the ultimate thrill. Your core was tightening with each tug against your g-spot, chest rising and falling harshly into Steve’s grasp as he moved between each breast, each sending sparks straight to your cunt.

You were a wet, babbling mess when the overwhelming sensation to cum took over, not even having time to tell your boyfriends but they already knew you were close and began touching you with more urgency.

Your pussy began clenching in quick succession as your orgasm destroyed you, pulling away from Bucky so you had space to scream out his name, hips bucking widely at the touch until it became too sensitive.

Bucky eased his wet fingers out of you, bringing them up to his lips and humming at your exquisite taste that he’d been desperate to taste for so long.

Steve gave you another moment to gather yourself before his fingers began to fill you up, replacing where Bucky was, two fingers rocking in and out as his thumb rolled your clit in a circle. Bucky’s metal fingers then teased your pebbled nipples, the cool feeling making you gasp more.

“Let’s see just how many more we can get from you, baby” Steve growled into your neck, sucking the sensitive skin.

“Yes, Daddy”, you moaned whilst lost in your ecstasy.

Steve and Bucky worked well together, knowing exactly when to slow down their movements, letting you get used to the sensations before ramping up the speed and pressures, bringing you to the peak of orgasm before starting again. They took it in turns until your breasts were sore and puffy and your hole ached and your juices soaked the sheets below.

You were a mumbling mess when they determined that you had enough, your entire body feeling like it was floating and light as Steve licked his fingers clean one more time before tucking you in close to his side.

“You feeling ok, Doll?” Bucky asked, sliding in close as well, his arm wrapping around your middle.

“Mmm so so good”, you muttered, eyes drooping close with exhaustion. “I can’t wait to take these casts off so I can repay the favour”.

Steve’s checked vibrated against your ear as he chuckled, kissing the top of your head, “Get some rest, my love”.

[bitchy-craft]

Messages From Your Future Spouse | Pick A Pile

Hello and welcome to this Pick A Pile! In here you'll find out what your future spouse wants to tell you. I hope you guys enjoy and find this useful. Do make sure to leave comments down below on your experience! I do want to remind you all that this is a General Pick A Pile which means this is for a lot of people; therefore keep what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Masterlist > Questions > Paid Readings

Pick A Pile!

Pile 1:

I can't wait to see you improve on the things you love[for some art related]. I love to see you enjoy your hobby like that, I love to see you enjoy life in general like that. Whenever I see you smile my day is made, my heart is calm and I'll admire you from afar, hoping you won't notice me watching.

The self-improvement you'll make will be impeccable. You'll grow so much confidence, do things you would originally be too scared to do. You'll actually be able to unpop yourself, and I can't wait to see you turn into the beautiful butterfly that you are, I can't wait until you realize how much of a beautiful butterfly you are.

I can't wait to do our nightly walks with our dog, to look at the stars and point out what the patterns might look like. I can't wait to see the shimmer of the moon in your eyes, and to get completely lost in them, I can't wait for that life.

Pile 2:

I'll protect you whenever you need it. I'll teach you to love yourself, I'll teach you confidence, and whatever problem you may be facing, will be facing, I'll help you get through it, you'll never be alone again.

You're beautiful, you're absolutely beautiful, please don't say those things about yourself, please don't think those things about yourself. Don't compare yourself to others, it's not good for you. Everyone is unique, yet everyone is beautiful. If you want to find love and beauty look at yourself in the mirror.

I'll be there, every step of the way, and when you know what you want to do in life I'll be standing next to you to support you and help you. Whatever you want to succeed at, you'll be able to do so.

Pile 3:

I'll share. I'll share my happiness, my wealth, my connections, my family. I'll share it all with you, because you are just as deserving of such an accepting and comfortable situation as I am. You don't need to worry about all those things that hurt you in the past anymore, I'll make sure they won't ever harm you again, we'll find you proper help if that's what you think you'll need.

You'll be able to take a hold of your own life again, and figure out what you want, you, not anyone else, you. You'll be able to understand yourself, control yourself, and thrive on yourself, and I'll love that about you, that independent need to thrive and show itself from time to time.

You'll love my family, I have a few sisters myself and they can't wait to share all their stories with you, and do things with you; go shopping, go swimming, go to restaurants, etc.

[overandundertarot]

pick a tattoo; message for you

pile 1; Queen of hearts, The Hermit reversed, Ace of swords.

Pile 1 I feel you are taking time to cultivate a specific state of mind. Stillness, being present while at the same time appreciating such intense aspects of human emotions and meeting them with kindness and love. Right now, you are considering pursuing a solo journey, it's not something everyone will understand or that you can even explain. This can be physical or mental; you want to incorporate a potent source of creativity and connection to source in your daily experience. Keep at it, you're still wondering how to go about it. It feels like a half formed idea in your conciousness but let it marinate. You will arrive at a conclusion soon. For some there is something to do with cutting it off with/reaching out to another person. I heard making the best decision for both of you; do what you know and feel is right.

pile 2; 10 of cups, Ace of cups, Ace of swords.

Wow Pile 2! Romance is in the air! You have a romantic prospect right now(or several!) and are trying to be discerning. If not one is coming towards you very soon. You want to protect your heart, but are a secret hopeless romantic! You want in your deepest of hearts to get lost in the feeling and go crazy with love; experiencing the joys and exhileration of being with another person. You hope your partner can be an escape from reality for you, if not a soothing balm to the exhausting end of your day. You want a partner, a family and domestic bliss. Message for you is to give them a chance; let them show you how good it can be. Say yes to that movie or that trip! It seems too good to be true, but it's all you deserve. Enjoy it. So much happiness in in store for you pile 2! Ahhhh I wanna hug you, my heart is feeling full with it.

pile 3; Queen of pentacles, 9 of wands, King of wands.

Pile 3, how're you feeling? It's important to check in with yourself every now and then. You're working hard on a journey but you need to give yourself appropriate time to rest. I'm hearing that you romanticise the suffering. Not to a toxic degree but to make it all the more bearable. You likely already know your message. Keep going. You're doing wonderfully. This pile reminds me of Victoria Monet's words at the recent grammy awards. To paraphrase she explained that her receiving that award last night was a process years in the making; she was growing roots, laying ground. And she's finally begining to sprout. It's the same for you. You are patient with yourself, tending to to your work that you know will put you at the top one day. You have this regal air about you, keep your head held high. Some of you are facing a decision, I'm hearing to go with the shocking option lol.

pile 4; 6 of wands reversed, Queen of cups reversed, Ace of swords.

Things are very much upside down for you pile 4. There's been a thwarted victory(or a hollow one at the very least). It left you feeling empty. I get the feeling like you're crying out to the universe for help but it seems like no one is listening. You're keeping all these things bottled up; refusing to open up. There are people in your life who want to reach out to you but you are not trusting them, very guarded though i feel like its not obvious. Many people may not even know that you are struggling; they think everything is going great for you. The message for you is basically what you just read; you didn't know how to pinpoint what you were feeling. Reframe the situation; are you satisfied with those conditions? That's a no, open up to the people around you, or find a channel to process these emotions. Let yourself bloom again. There's also a big theme of turning your pain into profit. Perhaps use your experience to create art or to find a new persepctive in your work. There are solutions available to you. Use them.

[yukipri]

Some thoughts on Cara

So some of you may have heard about Cara, the new platform that a lot of artists are trying out. It's been around for a while, but there's been a recent huge surge of new users, myself among them. Thought I'd type up a lil thing on my initial thoughts.

First, what is Cara?

From their About Cara page:

Cara is a social media and portfolio platform for artists. With the widespread use of generative AI, we decided to build a place that filters out generative AI images so that people who want to find authentic creatives and artwork can do so easily. Many platforms currently accept AI art when it’s not ethical, while others have promised “no AI forever” policies without consideration for the scenario where adoption of such technologies may happen at the workplace in the coming years. The future of creative industries requires nuanced understanding and support to help artists and companies connect and work together. We want to bridge the gap and build a platform that we would enjoy using as creatives ourselves. Our stance on AI: ・We do not agree with generative AI tools in their current unethical form, and we won’t host AI-generated portfolios unless the rampant ethical and data privacy issues around datasets are resolved via regulation. ・In the event that legislation is passed to clearly protect artists, we believe that AI-generated content should always be clearly labeled, because the public should always be able to search for human-made art and media easily.

Should note that Cara is independently funded, and is made by a core group of artists and engineers and is even collaborating with the Glaze project. It's very much a platform by artists, for artists!

Should also mention that in being a platform for artists, it's more a gallery first, with social media functionalities on the side. The info below will hopefully explain how that works.

Next, my actual initial thoughts using it, and things that set it apart from other platforms I've used:

1) When you post, you can choose to check the portfolio option, or to NOT check it. This is fantastic because it means I can have just my art organized in my gallery, but I can still post random stuff like photos of my cats and it won't clutter things. You can also just ramble/text post and it won't affect the gallery view!

2) You can adjust your crop preview for your images. Such a simple thing, yet so darn nice.

3) When you check that "Add to portfolio," you get a bunch of additional optional fields: Title, Field/Medium, Project Type, Category Tags, and Software Used. It's nice that you can put all this info into organized fields that don't take up text space.

4) Speaking of text, 5000 character limit is niiiiice. If you want to talk, you can.

5) Two separate feeds, a "For You" algorithmic one, and "Following." The "Following" actually appears to be full chronological timeline of just folks you follow (like Tumblr). Amazing.

6) Now usually, "For You" being set to home/default kinda pisses me off because generally I like curating my own experience, but not here, for this handy reason: if you tap the gear symbol, you can ADJUST your algorithm feed!

So you can choose what you see still!!! AMAZING. And, again, you still have your Following timeline too.

7) To repeat the stuff at the top of this post, its creation and intent as a place by artists, for artists. Hopefully you can also see from the points above that it's been designed with artists in mind.

8) No GenAI images!!!! There's a pop up that says it's not allowed, and apparently there's some sort of detector thing too. Not sure how reliable the latter is, but so far, it's just been a breath of fresh air, being able to scroll and see human art art and art!

To be clear, Cara's not perfect and is currently pretty laggy, and you can get errors while posting (so far, I've had more success on desktop than the mobile app), but that's understandable, given the small team. They'll need time to scale. For me though, it's a fair tradeoff for a platform that actually cares about artists.

Currently it also doesn't allow NSFW, not sure if that'll change given app store rules.

As mentioned above, they're independently funded, which means the team is currently paying for Cara itself. They have a kofi set up for folks who want to chip in, but it's optional. Here's the link to the tweet from one of the founders:

And a reminder that no matter that the platform itself isn't selling our data to GenAI, it can still be scraped by third parties. Protect your work with Glaze and Nightshade!

Anyway, I'm still figuring stuff out and have only been on Cara a few days, but I feel hopeful, and I think they're off to a good start.

I hope this post has been informative!

Lastly, here's my own Cara if you want to come say hi! Not sure at all if I'll be active on there, but if you're an artist like me who is keeping an eye out for hopefully nice communities, check it out!

[itsnotjustgibberish]

(Some art to go along with a bit of writing I did) [Based on my “shared tears” headcanon, which you read more about here. I hadn’t mentioned it there, but it’s also possible for Heart and Mind’s tears to transfer to each other, or for Soul’s to transfer to them, if they’re very intensely emotional and/or unstable]

{Warning for suicidal ideations in the final lines under the cut. Enjoy your angst}

Heart could feel the tears pricking at his eye. Was it really intense enough to reach Heart this time? He found Soul in the living room from the sound of sniffles, but the tears weren’t his.

A duo of taps.

Nothing.

Heart raised his hand to knock again, but the door opened a crack before his fist could reach it.

The footsteps led away quickly after. Heart followed his friend to sit at the side of his bed.

It hurt. It really hurt. Such an abstract pain was still a greatly unfamiliar thing for Mind to experience.

But they were friends again, and though the breakdowns were worse now, at least Heart was willing to sit with him through them.

But this time it didn’t help.

No hugs. No comfortable silence. No harmonizing; even the quiet hums brought no improvement.

How ironic that their attempts for solace only made the ache worse.

It was rare for Mr. Sun to fully understand the other two. They had all made so much progress, and despite recognizing those struggles, there was always one thing they couldn’t connect with.

This time it was quite unfortunate, but now that final rift in perspective was sealed.

Now he realized the feelings that made it so "effortless" for Soul to threaten his two halves with death.

[hiranospiercing]

shounen ai mangas that should be a part of your reading list if you enjoy reading healthy and plot-driven romances- part 2.

this is a continuation to the first part of this list i made earlier this month, part 1

6. Until i meet my husband.

the reason why i want this manga to be a part of your reading list is simply because it changed my perspective on gay relationships as a person, there were so many things that i was never able to inculcate myself or things that where actually alienated to me, this manga is actually inspired by a memoir written by ryousuke nanazaki, who happens to be an activist and the manga revolves around his life growing up as somebody who identifies as a gay man and his life till he finally met his husband, i encourage you to give this manga a read and try to understand how gay relationships actually are and not the female gaze that always markets in the shounen ai industry.

7) Koimonogatari.

koimonogatari is alot more than a shounen ai manga, it's about self acceptance, friendship and internalized homophobia, there were multiple instances in the story where i had to sit back and cry and actually introspect for a minute by putting myself in the main character's shoes, if you actually want to experience an actual expression of accepting your identity, please give this manga a read.

8. Restart after come back home.

this story often makes me think about how home is actually a person, i honestly get so overwhelmed with the comfort this manga brings while reading it out, whether it is the art style or honestly the way the characters are written or perhaps it's the grumpy sunshine protector x sunshine trope all over again, please read this out to experience how a story can feel like a literal hug.

9. The two lions.

i have and always will love furuya sensei's work, whether it's the iconic the summer of you series or the two lions in itself, the way she developes her characters and the progression of the stories, it is impeccable, the two lions is such a refreshing read that you would not even realize when you developed such a strong connection towards both the characters.

10. Happy Birthday.

i hold a special bias toward author ymz's works perhaps because i have been heavily inspired by most of her works and learned a lot of things about my own writing style, whether it's sayonara heron or happy birthday, the way she writes her characters and the melancholy, everything is so heart warming and wrenching at the same time, happy birthday again is a lot more about friendship with differentiating factors and points where they intersect together in an utterly chaotic yet in an articulate way, the art style has my heart and you should probably experience this story once.

[escapingrealityforamoment]

So what if Reader was friends with Steven? Like she didn't knew Belly, Conrad and Jeremiah but she was Steven's friend, so he invited her for the summer, and reader was a posh person who wasn't a really fan of these things, but listened to her friend, and when she did come there, everyone was all over her as she was really pretty, except Jeremiah and Conrad, Jeremiah liked her as a friend and conrad didn't liked her at all, slowly Reader and Jeremiah had feelings for each other and came into a relationship, and reader came into the same college as conrad and they also slowly became friends, but when they both saw Jeremiah and Belly kissing, both of them hated them and stayed more closer?

Hi love! Thank you so much for the request and I am so sorry it has taken so long for me to respond!! I hope you enjoy reading this and there will be a part two 💖😘

When I first arrived at Cousins Beach for the summer, I had no idea what to expect. My friend Steven had talked up his summers here with the Fisher family, and although I was more accustomed to city life, I trusted his judgment and embarked on the adventure.

As soon as I set foot in this coastal paradise, it felt like the whole world revolved around me. People couldn't help but be drawn to me, a stranger in their tight-knit community. I became a curiosity, a beautiful anomaly in their simple, beachside world. Among those who were captivated by my presence, Jeremiah and Conrad stood out, but for entirely different reasons.

Jeremiah, who had a friendly and approachable demeanor, was the first to break the ice. He didn't treat me as a stranger but as a friend. We spent countless hours talking about our dreams, our love for art, and the little things that made life by the sea so extraordinary. What began as friendship soon blossomed into a deep connection, and my heart couldn't deny the fluttering I felt whenever he was nearby.

Conrad, however, was a different story. His icy exterior never seemed to thaw, and his disapproval of me was evident in every word and gesture. I couldn't understand why I bothered him so much, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't break through to the warm-hearted person hidden beneath.

As the summer days melted into the golden hues of fall, the connection between Jeremiah and me couldn't be ignored. We faced the challenges of a long-distance relationship as he went off to college. Our bond remained strong, even as the miles separated us, our late-night calls and longing texts keeping the connection alive.

Surprisingly, Conrad also ended up at my college, and our paths continued to cross. Over time, I could sense his icy exterior slowly thawing as we became friends. Our shared experiences and moments of vulnerability revealed the layers beneath his tough facade.

But then, everything took an unexpected turn. One evening, I found myself witnessing a heartbreaking scene: Jeremiah and Belly, locked in an intimate kiss. My heart shattered, mirroring the pain in Conrad's eyes when he witnessed the same moment. Our worlds collided, and the shared agony of our unrequited love brought us together.

In the midst of heartbreak, Conrad and I found comfort in each other's presence. We shared our stories of love and loss, our struggles and dreams. What had once been a source of tension between us had transformed into a deep and lasting friendship. Together, we healed our wounded hearts, finding solace in each other's company and understanding.

Our shared pain forged an unbreakable bond, and Conrad and I became inseparable. While the scars of the past still ached, we had discovered a deep and meaningful connection that transcended mere friendship. We hoped that someday, we would find the love we both deserved. For now, we found contentment in each other's understanding, empathy, and unwavering support.

[thealogie]

i am so so curious to know what your thoughts on all of us strangers are! i went in really excited and left violently angry (but also have a lot of experiences that are too close to the content of the movie to have enjoyed it, looking back on it). if you loved it, i would love to know why, bc i respect your media opinions & would like to perhaps be wrong about my reaction lol

I really loved it, but I don’t think you’re wrong in your reaction. I think sometimes we have to interrogate if our negative feelings towards art are informed by sexism/racism/other prejudice but other than that, other than knee jerk biased reactions I don’t think our emotional response to art can ever be wrong. There are plenty of well constructed movies that just aren’t for me.

In any case, to me all of us strangers was such a beautiful and cathartic story. We meet Adam and he is so stunted and held back by his parents’ death and tbh by growing up gay in the 80s/90s. He misses that first moment of connection with Harry and for the rest of the movie he’s healing his child self through getting to visit with his dead parents, which then allows him to heal his adult self through this relationship with Harry. And that’s the journey to me.

So yes there’s a twist and they don’t get to be together but for me it’s all about that exchange “why did no one find me?” “I found you. I found you.” Adam goes from being the one who relies on Harry to take care of him to being the carer, to being able to laugh and smile despite what’s happened and offer Harry comfort and love. I feel like we leave the movie absolutely certain that Adam is now a person that is able to be open and find love and that Harry got to be truly loved and the center of someone’s universe before he left this world.

Like it’s truly a movie that uses magical realism to let its main character live out not one but two missed opportunities. And then it says, you can change someone’s life through intimacy even if you aren’t together forever. You can fundamentally change and save someone even if it’s sad, even if it’s not a traditionally “happy” ending. Also only gay people get to have this straight people wouldn’t understand

[rakurairagnarok]

Hi there! I'm heading to the U.A.E. from America in a few days and I'm quite anxious. I was wondering if there was any clothing at Rakurai Inc which would help me fit in better with the locals and boost my confidence and assertiveness?

Glad you got in touch! We have exactly what you have been looking for!!

You found a package when you got home from work. It was a completely blank box except for a small sticker reading Rakurai Inc.

You open it up to find a slick looking headset in it, with some arabic inscriptions on it. You look around the box, but can't find anything on how it works. It doesn't seem to have a jack in it nor any way for you to connect it to your phone with bluetooth so you decide to put it on.

Immediately it starts to play a tape.

"Learning module activated. Scanning for necessary courses"

Suddenly a weird humming begins to drone in your ears. Along with it certain arabic sounding phrases started playing in your head. The first few times you couldn't understand any of it, but suddenly you understood most of it.

"Big, strong, fertile"

Images of big strong arabic men appear in your head. You stumble a bit as your sense of balance was thrown off. You look down and see the legs of your pants have gone up your legs. You watch it with facination as the headset continues.

"Large, Leader, Rich"

Your head begins to spin again and you can barely get yourself on the couch.

You look down to see your pants tight on your legs, almost painted on. You see your bulge growing in your pants, and with it waves of pleasure start spreading through your body.

The tape speeds up, a larger variety of phrases being pushed into your brain, while your mind fogs over due to the pleasure.

"Plump, handsome, regal"

"In charge, charismatic, addictive"

"Cultured, gorgeous, playfull"

Your body keeps growing. Bisceps exploding through the fabric of your shirt, while your pecs are involuntarily bouncing. Your waist snaps, slimming down while your abs flex and push to the surface. Your back widens, shoulders rounding out. Your growing cock starts leaking, before bursting free from the confines of your pants. Your moans echo through your appartment, a previously unknown amount of pleasure radiating through your body.

Your hands explore your growing body.

"Wanted, desired, needed"

"Hungry, hungry, hungry"

You are hungry. A primal hunger that you couldn't satiate here. You need ... you want to be...

"Topped, fucked, bred"

Yes... your mind racing, you want cock, you need it, but you are in charge.

Your ass growing, you feel your hole pucker. It tenses, and releases. You know. You don't get fucked. You fuck. You aren't just a bottom. You drain your partners. They aren't penetrating you, you allow them to enter you, for them to experience the best moment of their lives.

"In charge, draining, dominant"

A grin appears on your face, a face that has been perfected due to your new toy. Sharp jaw, perfectly trimmed beard. Plump lips to get their tool ready.

You make them desperate for more. You got loads of different "tops" on speed dial. They say they're a top, but they are actually too afraid to take it, but you're much better.

You take of your headphones and look around your room. It's a penthouse in one of the most expensive buildings in the U.A.E. which had been gifted to you by one of your clients. You look at your phone and see a few notifications telling you of the massive amount of money you have made from your previous night out.

You smile, life is good.

I hope you enjoyed our trial edition language learning headphones!!! As seen in the picture they are state of the art and can be modified to fit any needs. Be aware some side effects may occur, cultural switch, sluttyness, or iq loss are some of the most common. Please continue your patronage with Rakurai Inc.

[blackleatherjacketz]

Shadow and Sin: Chapter 1

Klaus Mikaelson x Female Reader

Summary: Having just recently moved to New Orleans, you get intimately acquainted with both Mikaelson brothers, but don't find out who they truly are until it's too late.

This Chapter: Your art is finally put on display at a local gallery, and Klaus has a vested interest in it.

Warnings: Klaus Being Klaus, No Personal Space, Alcohol, Flirting, Almost Kisses, Art Interpretation, Dark Themes

Word Count: 1.2k+

Read the rest of the story HERE

Your first art show in New Orleans isn’t nearly as extravagant as you thought it would be, despite the small jazz band in the corner and the free champagne being served at the door. The jubilant music seems to fade off into the distance as you stand just a few feet away from one of your pieces, silently stalking the patrons as they walk by and observe it, muttering amongst themselves. You try to hone in on what they’re saying about your work, about how it makes them feel, or if they’ve caught onto any messages you’ve hidden in your mixed medium on canvas. So far it’s just been a mixture of silence and solitary comments like “interesting” or “hmm” as the glass of champagne warms to room temperature in your hand.

“Which one’s yours?” A man’s eloquent voice pulls you from your anxious thoughts, forcing you to look over at his delicately handsome face as he walks toward you with a confidence that could rival royalty.

“Huh?” You take a sip of your lukewarm champagne in order to gain some liquid courage to engage with this gorgeous man who seemed to appear out of thin air.

“I’d recognize that look anywhere,” he starts, touching one of the sculptures he clearly wasn’t supposed to. “Will they like it? Will they understand it? But most importantly, will they buy it?”

“That obvious, huh?” You take another sip, letting the bubbles take their time to crinkle your nose as the rest of the carbonation slowly fizzles out.

“Painfully, I’m afraid.” That smirk of his warms into a coy smile as he takes a step toward you, his own glass of champagne nearly empty. “Yours isn’t the landscape with the sailboat, no… those waters look far too calm for you.” He stands next to you and continues to guess, letting his fresh clean scent surround you as hints of a bergamont settle into the air. “Not the still life either, you don’t strike me as someone who focuses on something as mundane as coffee and beignets.” He pauses and looks at you briefly, taking in your features. “No, a work of art from your hands has to contain something different, something much… darker.”

“And what makes you think that?” You chide in return, enjoying this little game he’s created for himself. “Maybe I love coffee and beignets.”

“Well, darling, who doesn’t? But that’s not why you became an artist, now is it?” He raises his eyebrows, giving you a chance to notice the hints of green and gold in his blue eyes.

He was good, you’ll give him that.

“My money’s on the portrait of the faceless woman drenched in blood.” His tone drops to the level of darkness he previously described as he steps behind you, his voice like butter as it melts down each vertebrae of your spine. “It’s beautiful, really; the way you captured the themes of the tortured and macabre while still maintaining an intimate beauty of the feminine experience. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

His change in tambre and location freezes you in place, forcing you to look at your own painting through his eyes as he hovers behind you, making you shiver with the anticipation of his intentions. The fact that you’ve allowed him to get this close so fast makes you wrestle with the idea that you may already desire this stranger based on nothing more than the words he’s chosen to speak with that velvety voice of his. Are you that subject to flattery? That desperate for validation? Longing that deeply for some level of intimate connection? Perhaps you are...

After what seems like an eternity of moral gymnastics, you no longer resist the temptation to turn toward him as he guesses correctly, noting the triumphant look on his face as your lips linger mere inches away from his. You barely notice the still breath that remains inside your lungs, expanding your rib cage for far too long as you stare at his plump lips, taking heed of the single droplet of champagne that rests on them.

“And what makes you such an expert on the feminine experience?” You manage to ask as he allows you to stare at him a little bit longer before answering your question.

“Oh, I’m not. I’m merely a curious third party who’s invested in the local artists that my charitable donations help support.” He confesses with a step back.

“You’re a benefactor?” You don’t mean to sound so judgmental, but he doesn’t exactly look like most of the ancient relics who usually pour money into the city. If you’re being honest, he looks more like one of the musicians you’d find on the street corner playing a cover of ‘Wonderwall’ on guitar for tips.

“Oh, don’t look so surprised, love, we come in all shapes and sizes.” He laughs, looking you up and down while the shock of his financial status slowly begins to wear off. “Now, tell me, was I right? Is that your painting?”

“Maybe.” You cross her arms over your chest, trying your best to resist his evident charms. “But you already knew that, being a benefactor and all; that’s cheating.”

“Cheating is such a harsh word. I merely used my astute powers of observation to put two and two together.” He casually places his hand on your shoulder with a gentle squeeze in order to keep you near. “Surely, you can’t fault me for that.”

“I suppose not.” Your heart races at his sudden touch, the gleam in his eyes barely hiding the raging fire behind them. He’s going to be trouble, you can already tell. “Do you flirt like this with every new artist you meet?”

“Just the morbidly disturbed ones that I find deeply enchanting.” His strange compliment is oddly personal, hinting that he might know a little bit more about you than he’s currently letting on.

“You think I’m morbidly disturbed?”

He gives you a knowing look.

“Oh, it’s all over the canvas, love. It doesn’t take an expert to notice the hurried brush strokes in the busy background, the aggression with which you plastered the feminist news clippings together contrasted against the time you took to purposefully pour the viscous, slow drip of blood on it until it’s nearly spilling onto the floor.” He closes the gap between you, his hand now in your hair.

You swallow hard as he fishes around in your psyche for an accurate interpretation of your work, his proximity nearly turning your insides to quicksand as his cologne dizzies you on the spot. Good god, he’s beautiful.

“You know there are other ways of releasing all that pent up rage and aggression… all that passion.” He leans in so that his lips ghost over your cheek as it blushes against his stubble. “Although they aren’t quite as lucrative as this.”

“And what would those be?” You ask coyly, eagerly daring him to show you.

But instead of going in further for a demonstration, he leans back with a satisfied grin, as if he’s already gotten everything he wants from you at that moment. He grabs a pen from a nearby table and takes your hand, writing his phone number on your palm. “Find me when you feel like it gets to be too much, when all those emotions make you feel as if you’re absolutely about to burst.”