#lots of fluff and happy feels in the character descriptions (at least I think so anyway) but it is long... if you have time give it a read?

[ponderingmoonlight]

hi lovely ! you asked for kny requests and i've just finished my kny volume 22 re-read, so thats perfect timing 💙

I was wondering if you could write something with Yoriichi — (tw for potential child loss)

Maybe a hurt/comfort fic where his pregnant wife actually survives the demon attack while he's away (but maybe she gets quite badly injured and their unborn child doesn't make it, if you want to add a little extra angst to it. If not then that's totally fine, this man deserves a happy ending after all 🥺)

Of course, you're the writer — feel free to take any creative direction you'd like or ignore this request if you're not comfortable with it. Have a lovely day/night! <3

Again, I'm beyond sorry you were forced to wait for this so long! But here you go honey, let me know what you think <3

Yoriichi saving his pregnant wife and unborn child just in time

Pairing: Yoriichi x pregnant!wife!reader

Word Count: 4,2k

Synopsis: You never expected to face a demon ever again, especially not when you are about to deliver your child while your beloved husband Yoriichi is in search for a midwife. Will you and your child be alright? Will your husband make it back on time?

Warnings: injury, horror, child birth, tortue, description of death, extreme angst to fluff, last part is not proofread

Notes: Since the first Yoriichi fic I wrote, I'm so deeply in love with his character that I adore writing him so much! Since this fic took a while, I would totally appreciate your support through liking, commenting and reblogging this fic - thank's a lot babes <3

He can’t get enough from simply looking at you. You with your head in the clouds, you with your hand mindlessly roaming around the soft grass underneath, the other one caressing your heavy pregnant belly, you when you give him those surprised eyes as soon as you notice his presence.

“Oh, I wasn’t aware that you’re already here”, you say in a small panicky voice.

You didn’t expect your beloved husband back this soon. If you would have known that he’ll be here by know you would have cleaned the whole house, made him something to eat and-

“I can only imagine what is going on inside your head again.”

His soft but at the same time rough hand touches your cheek gently, the loving gleam in his fuchsia eyes making you blush in an instant. All the voices in your head stop right in their track when he’s around.

Yoriichi Tsugikuni. Your savior, your best friend. And most importantly, your husband and father of your future child.

“How are you feeling, love? Did you enjoy your afternoon?”, he questions, eyes wandering down your body to your swollen belly.

It was hard leaving you alone in a state like this, but he wasn’t able to resist the urgent call from last night. He might be nothing but another simple man holding a sword, but it is his responsibility to save those who are in need. What else is he able to give to this world?

His hand lands on your belly, feels the tiniest kick of his unborn child against the palm of his hand. At least he was able to create a smaller version of you. Is it a boy, a girl maybe?

“I hope our child is a reflection of you”, he finally mutters into the silence, a small but somehow sad smile forming itself on his lips.

You suddenly forget how to breathe, glossy eyes fixated on his captivating sight. Oh, oh much you hate the stinging fact that your husband thinks so negatively about himself. Why can’t he see all the heroic things he has done so far, how respected he is in the demon slayer corps? Why can’t he see that every inch of his body is flawless? Out of instinct, you let your head rest against his broad chest, breathe in his strong scent. If you could only stay like this here forever, his hand resting against your body while the sun tickles your skin-

A violent moan escapes your lips when a sharp pain runs through your stomach. A kick. A really rough kick, to be exact.

“Are you alright, love? Did something hurt you? Is it the baby?”, your husband asks feverishly, his usual neutral face garbled by worry lines on his forehead.

“Just a kick”, you press out, still fighting to regain your composure.

“I will search for a mid-wife, (y/n).”

His words make your eyes widen in an instant, a wave of fear crushing down on you. Is it really time already? You look down at your swollen belly, so big that you aren’t even able to sit down properly anymore. This has to be the ninth month of your pregnancy.

Your heart sinks. The ninth month. If the books you’ve read are accurate, it really is time.

“I can’t do this, Yoriichi.”

Thick panic runs through your veins, forces your heart almost out of your chest. You aren’t ready to deliver a child, let alone to be a mother. All the things you haven’t read yet, the things you’ve probably never heard of…What if you mess it up? Until you met Yoriichi, all you were able to do was trying to survive. Your mother never had the chance to tell you about those things, isn’t here anymore to stay by your side.

You are…on your own.

“Look at me, (y/n). I will go out and search for a mid-wife and I’ll be back at sunset, you hear me? Just stay inside the house and nothing will happen. I promise to return as early as possible.”

Fuchsia eyes that radiate through your soul immediately. An angelic voice that calms down your tingling nerves with only four sentences. Strong arms that lift you off the ground and lead you back into the warmth of your home.

But know, it’s not the wooden cabin that feels like home. Your eyes wander to the neutral expression he wears on his face, only betrayed by a worried glow in his orbs. It’s him, your beloved husband.

“Are you feeling alright, love?”

You take a deep breath in, a deep breath out. Eyes focused exclusively on him until your mind finally silences. It’s just you and him. You and your beloved husband, the man you would trust with your life without battling an eyelid, the man who made you the person you are today.

“I do”, you breathe out.

Your heartbeat tames down as well as the kicks of your unborn baby, Yoriichi’s hands keeping you from falling over.

“Promise me to lock the doors and wait in bed until I return, (y/n).”

A seriousness you only know from him when he is forced to leave at night veils his calm eyes.

“But…you will be back before the sun sinks, right?”

He gifts you a small smile, hand caressing your cheek so gently that you almost forget about the worry lines decorating his face. The truth is that the next midwife lives miles away. Even if he gets to the village as soon as possible, the sun will be about to set when he returns. Yoriichi can’t help but clench his other hand into a fist next to your stomach. The sheer thought of not making it in time, that you’ll be defenceless.

“Don’t worry, love. Rest your eyes and be assured that I’ll return as soon as possible.”

But he cannot allow himself to fail you, to leave you alone in those oh so merciless nights. He will return, no matter what it costs.

He presses a soft kiss against your forehead before grabbing his sword tightly.

This. This is his fate, his family. You are his whole life.

And he’ll do everything to protect you.

-later that evening-

You are exhausted. Over the last few hours, your body was haunted by waves of pain coming and going like the seasons. Again, you dig your nail into the wooden floor, your heavy breaths hanging in the thick air. You definitely don’t need a midwife to tell you it’s time. Yes, your baby is on its way.

And your husband didn’t return yet.

Your glossy eyes dart towards the window, witness how the sky outside turns bright red in the down-going sun. Is Yoriichi alright? You know how cruel life can be. Maybe he met a person who needed to be saved on his way, maybe the midwife is too old to rush to your side in time.

“Rest your eyes and be assured that I’ll return as soon as possible.”

Those words. Even though he’s not yet by your side, you are able to feel his powerful presence around you, how he calms down your aching heart.

“Everything will turn out alright”, you mutter to yourself while caressing your tummy.

“Everything will be alight…”

You allow your lids to rest, body relaxing for the first time since your husband left. You will get through this, you will deliver your wonderful child tonight. A tiny bundle of joy, an image of its father. Is it a boy, a girl? As long as your child is healthy, you couldn’t care less.

Carefully, you curl up on your futon, snuggle yourself into the blanket that still holds his scent. Maybe you’ll be able to catch a few hours of sleep until he finally comes back. Sleep sure does sound very appealing at the moment.

But just when your breath begins to steady, a violent scratch forces you to sit straight up. It came from outside, without a doubt. Is it an animal, is it…

Your throat gets tight immediately, glossy eyes staring at the closed window in sheer horror. The trees bend back and forth peacefully in what looks like a tender night. But that scratch, it sounded exactly like claws digging into hard wood, sent shivers down your spine immediately. You know that sound all too well, experienced what it means to get slaughtered by a demon before. Just before your whole family died violently, this was exactly what you’ve heard.

Out of instinct, you bury yourself into the corner of the room, the blanket that holds Yoriichi’s scent still pressed against your now shivering body tightly. Please, let it be nothing but a wild animal, let your husband come back home soon. Maybe this is nothing but a nightmare and you’ll wake up any given minute-

A violent pain runs through your body so suddenly that a shriek escapes your lips. Suddenly all air escapes your lungs, the way your belly cramps making you see start. No, you know exactly what this means, that this is not the right time to deliver a baby. Isn’t there anything you can do to stop this? You still need to wait for your husband, the midwife, for this gut-turning feeling to vanish. Your breath gets stuck in your throat, sharp and fast breaths hanging in the thick atmosphere.

But it doesn’t stop there. As if this wasn’t enough already, you can only stare at the door that gets opened painfully slow, claws digging into the wooden frame.

Without any doubt, this is a demon.

You press your sweaty palm against your mouth, force yourself to stop screaming, to stop breathing.

“I know you’re here, human. You smell like a…woman.”

It’s like all life is drained from the dead shell of your body, widened orbs staring at the frightful creature that makes its way into your home. Get up, fight, defend yourself like you saw Yoriichi do countless times, use the knowledge you gained from him.

But you don’t move an inch, don’t dare to look away. For a brief moment, time seems to stand still. Out of all the nights you’ve spent together with your husband, this is the first away from him, the first without his protection. Is all of this a dream, a hallucination to test your nerves?

The second the monster’s deadly red orbs meet yours, you get hit by reality. No, this isn’t a dream.

This will be your death.

“I knew you were here, lady. Let me help you up, okay?”

“N-no. Please d-don’t”, you whimper under your breath.

Your coward of a body doesn’t even fight back when he lifts you off the ground with ease, his nails digging into your soft flesh.

“Oh, you’re expecting a baby, don’t you? Well, does this count as a double kill, then?”

Your baby getting killed? If that thing ends your life, it means your unborn child will never experience dawn, will never get to see the face of its father, will never take in his scent. Your glossy eyes widen in sheer horror, tears now streaming down your face like waterfalls when a single frown form on your forehead.

You couldn’t care less about your own life. After all, you were lucky that Yoriichi saved you back then, didn’t even deserve to survive when your whole family had to die before you. But that oh so innocent child that might have the eyes of its father, the blessing of your life right after your husband. That innocent life cannot be taken.  

There is no way you will let this creature lay hands on it.

Your body reacts faster than your mind. With a surprisingly well-placed kick, you free yourself out of the monster’s casual grip. You need to get out of the house, out where you are able to find shelter, to run away. Your lungs feel like bursting any given minute, legs trembling underneath the weight of yourself and the unborn baby you still carry right under your heart. Even if it means you’ll die in vain, even if you won’t be able to see Yoriichi’s tender eyes ever again, you have to make sure your child is safe.

“I underestimated you, stupid woman. As it seems you didn’t give up on life yet”, the creature purrs what feels like right next to you.

A new nauseous wave of panic rises up your veins, makes you sprint even faster through the thick woods that surround your house. This has always been your favorite place to be. The calm trees waving back and forth in a soft breeze, your husband right by your side-

Your husband. Just the thought of never getting to see him again makes your heart ache. You didn’t even get the chance to thank him one last time, to let him know how much he truly means to you, that he’s way more than the man who saved your life back then.

He’s everything you ever wanted, everything you ever needed.

A sharp pain that radiates through your lower body sends you straight onto the ground immediately, figure cramping so violently that you can’t catch your breath. No, this is not the time labor, not when a demon is this close.

“Oh, there you are. Did you really think you can run away like that? You, a little human? You made me so man that I will kill you as painfully slow as possible.”

You try to lift your trembling figure off the ground, try to get back onto your feet, to sprint down the forest you know so well. But just when you’re about to get back onto your knees, a stinging pain in your right thigh paired with a contraction sends you straight back.

A violent scream escapes your lips.

Red. Everything around you is discoloured red. Is this your blood? Did this thing kill you already, are you going to die? Despite the way your guts start to turn when you follow the trail of blood, you can’t look away. And there it is indeed, a gaping hole in your leg, throbbing and bleeding.

All color that is left now drains from your face. With an injured leg, your chance to escape this demon’s claws is non-existent. Which means…

Your heart skips a beat, threatens to fail you any given second. What about your unborn child? A violent storm of anger and determination clouds your mind, makes all logical thoughts vanish into thin air.

“You can’t kill me”, you press out.

Since the day you first laid eyes on a demon, you accepted your own death. Your life is worthless anyway, compared to great warriors like your husband himself. But that oh so innocent child, that tiny life you were given to. You ball your hands into fists so tight your knuckles stand out white and lift your throbbing self off the ground. You cannot allow a demon to take the life of that unborn baby.

“I won’t allow you to touch me.”

You realize the stupidity of your words after they spill out of your mouth in rage. You, not allowing a demon to touch your puny figure? Another contraction makes your guts turn and vision almost go black.

As expected the frightful creature draws closer, its unpromising pair of razor-sharp teeth glittering in the dim moonlight. You never expected to see a demon this close again. Oh, how much you hoped you’d never find yourself in that situation again. But you have to get through this, have to make sure you will survive long enough for the mid wife to deliver your child to this world.

His child.

“I’m sorry Yoriichi. I never planned on leaving you alone like this”, you mumble to yourself, shaky lips tinted in salty tears.

“But this all I’m able to do.”

-Yoriichi’s POV-

Something seems off. Is it the way the trees bent back and forth in the soft breeze of the already set sun? Is it that distant smell that hangs in the air, the one that reminds him of fresh blood and lavender?

“We must make haste. I can sense that danger is ahead of us”, he speaks out with firm voice.

He promised you that he’ll be back before the sun goes down, that he will make it on time before demon are able to roam around freely. Are you feeling alright? Is the pain unbearable at this point? Do you still hold trust for him in your heart? His footsteps pick up instinctively, eyes set on the visibly stressed man behind him. In contrary to most people, Yoriichi doesn’t fear the night or the demons it brings. The only thing he fears at the moment is what you have to endure without your husband by your side.

With every he takes forward, the stinging smell of blood mixed with lavender becomes more urgent in his nose.

Lavender.

He always wondered how you did it. Even after washing, all your clothes kept that calming scent that surrounded you as if you were standing in a lavender bush. A smell so sweet that it caught his interest back then before he caught a glimpse of your fascinating orbs, a smell that always reminds him of home. Yoriichi’s home will always be where you are, where the sensation of lavender is the strongest.

Lavender, the stinging smell of blood that hangs in the air. His eyes widen when his mind starts to race. The smell, it radiates from the direction of your shared home, from the direction that usually fills him with excitement. Can it be…?

His heart starts racing uncontrollably while he dashes forward and draws his sword. Let it be nothing but coincidence, a cruel joke his thoughts play on him. But the stinging fragrance of lavender mixed with iron fills his heart with dread, makes his mind go numb. What if you got attacked by a demon, what if you are in great danger? All because he didn’t live up to his promise, because he didn’t make it on time. His eyes roam around the dark area, desperately searching for a sign.

And then his eyes find you.

Yoriichi’s heart stops.

There you lay, leaning against a nearby tree with a puddle of blood surrounding you, widened eyes starring straight into the face of a demon who hollers above you.

“No one is coming to save you, stupid girl.”

He doesn’t waste another second. With a swift motion of his sharp blade, Yoriichi beheads the demon on top of you while a toe-curling scream escapes your lips. Just one look at your sliced-up kimono reveals countless injuries, especially a gaping hole in your thigh. You hold onto your swollen belly for what looks like dear life, eyes still widened in nothing but shock.

“(y/n)”, he gently speaks out while letting himself fall down next to you.

You have to blink a few times. The demon, it was just about to dig its sharp teeth into your sensitive skin, to take the life of your unborn child in front of your eyes.

Maroon.

But those aren’t the deadly red orbs. No, those oh so gorgeous eyes look so familiar that your heart tames down in an instant. Could it really be, is it possible that it’s…him?

“Yoriichi.”

You breathe his name into the night like a prayer.

Maybe this is nothing but an illusion, a cruel trick your own brain plays on you.

“Words can’t express how sorry I am for arriving too late. I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone this long, for causing this to happen”, his oh so familiar voice blurts out.

Yoriichi’s usual so composed face twists in sheer agony, eyes filling with salty tears. All of this is his fault. He should have arrived sooner, he should have made hurry, he-

“We didn’t come this far to worry now. Please, help be delivering this child, let it all make sense”, you press out while grabbing his hand tightly.

It doesn’t matter that you’re severely injured, it doesn’t matter that your beloved husband took longer than expected to come back to you. All that matters now are you, him and your unborn child that waits to be delivered.

��Allow me to assist you.”

A foreign man suddenly speaks out with sweat dripping from his forehead in waterfalls. Just when another wave of nauseous pain hits you with full force, as if you got kicked into your stomach by a horse. You fail to breathe for a second, hands holding onto your husband for dear life.

“You are already close, it won’t be long now”, the man reassures you while gently opening your legs.

“You can do it, (y/n). After all the things you had to endure today, you will be able to get through this. With me by your side. I love you more than any words could ever say, darling.”

One more push.

One more wave of pain before your body goes numb, before you lose the ability to feel anything except for sweet nothingness.

Until a loud shriek finds its way to your ear.

A violent scream, almost frustrating. When you open your eyes again, you are greeted by a crying but alive bundle of joy, carefully wrapped into a white cloth and placed onto the arm of its father.

Those eyes.

“I prayed every night that he would have your eyes”, you whimper with tears running down your cheek uncontrollably.

You did it. You saved your beloved child who looks just like its father, you managed to somehow stay alive.

“She”, the midwife corrects you gently.

“She…”, you mumble with a small smile.

The last thing you see are the troubled maroon eyes of your husband before your world goes dark.

-the next day-

A foreign but still so familiar laughter fills the atmosphere around you with joy while you see nothing but black. When your stubborn lids finally open, you are greeted by the wooden ceiling you know so well. This is your home, without any doubt.

The home a demon invaded.

The home where you feared for your life while your husband rushed to the midwife in order to deliver your child.

Your child.

You get up way too quickly, glossy eyes darting around the room without a real aim. Is your baby okay? What happened after the delivery? All you can remember are those familiar maroon eyes that looked so much like the orbs of your beloved husband. Your husband…Where is Yoriichi?

“Don’t move too quickly, love. The doctor strictly forbids you to be in a haste”, his gentle voice speaks out next to you.

Just a few moments later, you get invited by the warmth of his arms swallowing you whole. Out of instinct, you let yourself fall against him, press your very own body into his despite the scorching pain that immediately takes over your whole self.

Right, you were attacked by a demon the night you gave birth. How did you manage to escape? Are your injuries critical.

But most important: How is your baby?

“Look what you have accomplished. A little wonder. Just like you, my love”, your husband murmurs, carefully lifting a little bundle off a blanket nearby.

Your heart nearly stops when you catch a glimpse of her. Those maroon eyes are the last thing you remember before everything goes black. With shaky hands, you start caressing her puffy cheek. This. This is what you fought for, what makes it all worth it in the end.

“She has your eyes”, you hush, tears now streaming down your face in waterfalls.

“And your hair”, Yoriichi replies with a soft smile towards you.

“(y/n), I promise I’ll do anything in my power to protect you and her from something like this. I promise I will stand by your side no matter what. And I hope that someday, you will be able to forgive me for not being there for you when you needed me the most.”

The second your husband’s voice cracks, you can’t hold onto yourself any longer. You wrap your arms around him and your daughter longingly, take in the scent who gave you strength that night.

“There is nothing to forgive and nothing to feel sorry about. You did your very best and that is all that matters. I love you, Yoriichi. And I have to thank you for saving both of us just in time.”

“You are my greatest treasure on earth”, he mumbles against your lips while giving you a passionate kiss.

What a plot twist, what a happy end after all. Yesterday you were sure your life is over, that you won’t live onto the next day. And now you’re lying in your house, holding your giggling daughter while pressing your heavy head against your husband’s broad chest.

“Well, I fear I will have to share this special place by now”, you comment while gazing at your perfect little daughter.

“This might be true, love.”

Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake

@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @kayleegomez @ryva @baku2345

@komelrebi-san

[bowsnstrings]

Diamond Boy (DTM)!

Onyankopon x Black Coded Character✌️🏾

Summary: After realizing that she has feelings for her handsome plug, Milana decides to give in to her rapidly growing crush for him, but what happens when things get a bit too intimate too fast?

Warning MDNI!: First date fluff mostly! Mentions of thigh riding, Praise and Dirty Talk, Mentions of smoking weed, Mentions of food, Original character with original descriptions.

Masterlist:🍃

Word Count: 6.8k

First kisses were supposed to be awkward, a little disappointing, and definitely nerve wracking. Too much tongue, or not enough passion, at least something that you could go and tell your friends about so you don’t sound like you’re already falling for a person you’ve only kissed. At least a little funny cringey moment to keep it lighthearted and easy, nothing like the kiss Milana and Ony shared.

It started so sweet, his lips pressing so softly over hers that she questioned if this was actually happening. Her first kiss, clutching the most gorgeous flowers she’d ever received, holding onto an even more beautiful boy. Her hand, shaky with anxiousness, raised to rest over the side of his face, thumb sliding over his cheek to feel his warm skin and ground her enough to savor every second.

Something about that made everything change in an instant, Ony pressing forward with determined movements, practiced ease getting the best of her. He easily took the lead, capturing her again and again, using a hand on her chin to help her keep pace with him. Her other hand held onto his bicep, feeling like she was going to topple over if they continued, neither of them thinking about anything else in the moment besides the electric feeling that came when they connected.

Moving in sync to deepen it further, until they pulled apart with nasty smack, both taking large breaths to cool down. It seemed like Ony couldn’t get enough though, giving her two quick pecks to her pursed lips, her eyes dreamy and looked like they were swirling with hearts.

“Fuck.” He groaned, purring low right in her face, biting down on his lip to contain himself from doing too much in public. His eyes scanned around to make sure no one was looking, lazily combing the area until they landed back on hers, another smile on his face that made her feel a lot lighter. “You be getting niggas caught up, huh?”

Her face scrunched up, smacking her lips as Ony laughed, a hand coming to cover up his smile as Milana pushed him away. “No.” She rolled her eyes at him, joining in on his sniggering, not being able to hold back her joy for long. “I don’t even date.” The admission wasn’t as bitter as she thought it would be, just a shrug off that she wasn’t so concerned about.

“This is a date, Ma. What ‘you think I’ve been trying to do all day?” He wiggled his brows at her suggestively, standing up to get out of his crouched position, moving back to sit and actually start eating.

“What? This is not a date. You have to ask a girl first, Ony.” She exclaimed as he dropped down, not knowing if he was eyeing her or his ribeye in hunger. “Besides, how do you know I wanna go on a date?” Deciding it was better to join him instead of staring, she laid her flowers down to pick up her silverware with a teasing remark.

He couldn’t even hide his happiness at her burst of confidence, chuckling at the way her lips twisted to hide her smile, determined to hold her face steady. That’s alright, he knew exactly what to say to make her crack. “Mama, with the way you kiss we're for sure going on a date.”

Oh Ony was good alright, that low drawn out humm while thinking of the memory was a nice added touch, her legs clamping shut as soon as the deep sound left him. She had to admit, he had game, but she wasn’t going to just let him have all the fun. “Still didn’t hear you ask me…” Milana sighed, playing up her uninterested look by sitting back, mimicking his nonchalant face that he puts on.

His eyes lit up in recognition, laughing at the way she bunched her eyebrows together like he did when he was annoyed. Damn, was he really that readable? She must’ve done her homework, seen him more than he thought she had. As flattering as it was, he still wasn’t going to let her win, licking over his bottom lip to bring in her focus as he dropped his voice to really play up his words.

“Please, Milana?”

That definitely did it, her hands jerking at his sultry plea, like he was begging to kiss her again. Fork accidentally clashing onto her plate noisily, face flushed in surprise, trying to collect herself under his steamy gaze. She realized that he was waiting on a response, actually asking in a way she’d never expect in a million years. “Okay…” Agreeing blindly, knowing that if he ever wanted her to do something, all he’d have to do was say is please.

“Tomorrow, it’s settled.”

“Ony!” She should’ve definitely seen that one coming, and yet she still dropped her mouth in shock, flowers nearly bumped off the table if it weren’t for her hands grabbing them as quickly as they did. “Are-you can’t be serious. So soon?”

He nodded enthusiastically, with almost childlike wonder like they were elementary crushes getting to sit together for the first time. “The only day it can happen is tomorrow. Promise if you go you’ll have fun.” With the way he said it, she definitely believed him, and why not throw caution to the wind. So far when she did it got her some action, no harm in that. So, she said yes, twirling a petal around her finger as she felt her flowers, smiling across from him as they talked about any and everything. They sat there for the longest breakfast in the world, getting to know each other like they were old friends meeting again. Laughing at their similarities, sharing their values, and trying to get Ony to spill any clues about their first date.

He wouldn’t budge at all, instead redirecting her with jokes and funny stories as they ate, showing such a rare side of him not a lot of people saw. It’s been such a long time since he felt like he could let loose around a girl, not having to put up a tough ass act, afraid that if he showed even a bit of vulnerability the fantasy of a relationship would just crumble. Provide, protect, and don’t be a pussy, the only things he was told about women really.

For once, he thought that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t always have to be so hard all the time. That Ony could take off that mask he wears, and not have to hold back from expressing himself because she was doing the same for him. He could see it, the way she was trying to be vulnerable like she couldn’t help but wear her heart on her sleeve, and all he wanted was to be the one to keep it safe for her.

Perhaps, that’s why he already couldn’t keep his hands off of her, a calloused palm sliding down her arm being cautious and gentle. Walking hand in hand underneath a lovely orange sun, the blue sky pushing wind to blow her hair around and make her look so pretty that he didn’t want to drop her back off. Clinging onto her hand as they made it to Milana’s front door again, knowing that the waiting was going to eat him alive.

“I had a good time.” She admitted, her shy attitude making it that much harder to go, his thumb rubbing over her knuckles to commit the feeling to memory. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” Hopeful excitement shining in her eyes as they looked up at him, his head falling down to lean in closer, eclipsing her view of everything besides him.

“Six o’clock, tomorrow. Give me until then, Mama.” He murmured to her, pressing a long lasting kiss to her lips, pulling her in by sliding his hand around her back. Letting out a squeal and scrambling hands to hold onto him, she made sure not to stumble over in her sandals from trying to get to him so fast, head spinning at the way he was able to take the reins like that.

Ony willed himself away from her, drawing her in a calming hug that let her rest into him for just a second longer before he started walking back to his car. Calling out a goodbye after him, voice breathless with a meek wave. Making him turn one last time to send her a coy wink as he ducked into the front seat, leaving her standing on her doorstep like she was in a dream.

The rest of the day moved as slowly as she did, barely wanting to do anything else besides write and stare at the lilies now sitting in her nightstand vase. Oh God, would it be bad if she told him she missed him while he was gone? Too much and too soon, right? Definitely too clingy already, but a part of her was just crushing too hard right now. Kicking her feet up while she laid in bed, journal filled with curly cursive words, gushing over him like she was talking to her best friend.

All her life she could only imagine what this would feel like, and now she was experiencing it firsthand. That warm bubbly feeling of romance that she'd been begging for, and the thrill of it all was just too exhilarating. Ony was suave, confident, so effortlessly in control of everything he did, being with him felt like being able to let go. Release all her worry and stress, and it was scary to her that he could throw her into a total state of compliance, maybe even scarier was the fact that she liked being able to be the docile and sweet one while he handled everything.

He paid for their breakfast like it was his job, didn't even let her see the check, let alone touch it. Milana had a feeling that he was always generous, that he had a good heart underneath all that intimidation. Maybe, he just showed it through gestures, his actions definitely grand, making her feel spoiled already. She thought about it all as she hugged onto Oreo, trying to receive a bit more affection, counting down the hours until the arms she’d be in wouldn't have fur or paws.

The entire day since Milana woke up, she'd been getting ready for their night out. Practically glued to her vanity as she tweezed her brows, applied a mud mask, watching housewives as she did her makeup. Her skin rubbed down in marshmallow body cream, spraying her favorite perfume as she watched herself in the mirror, rollers giving her a slight headache as she tried not to be so nervous.

Taking the time out to pamper herself was nice, it relaxed her down, the hour long bath was helpful getting her in the right headspace, but she just wanted to see him already. He might've said something nice or funny to get her to smile instead of worrying, or calm her nerves enough to stop freaking out inside.

She stood in the mirror for nearly an hour, trying on everything in her closet that would be a possibility for any date. Skirts, heels, shorts, tops, but none of them felt right until the last outfit. Ony never told her what they'd be doing when they went out, so she only could hope that her long, tight brown dress with a crochet green bolero matched the occasion. She paired it with tan sandals in case they'd be close to the beach or had to do some walking, and her chunky vintage coach shoulder bag.

Milana wanted to impress him, look special and pretty, imagining she was a princess for the night as she slid in her twisted gold hoop earrings. By the time she was finished, it was getting into the late afternoon, trying to drink some honey chamomile tea and have some fruit to quell her nerves. Hearing that knock at the door almost spooked her, a rush of anxiousness hitting her all at once as she stopped to look at herself one more time.

Fluffing her hair and finding an extra roller she accidentally left in, she quickly straightened up and made sure nothing was in her teeth before pulling the door open. “Hi, Ony.��� Milana smiled, trying to appear effortless and nonchalant until she saw the bouquet of flowers he held in his hands. Pretty pink and white roses, all blooming gracefully, wrapped in green paper for her to receive. He looked just as perfect as they did. Loose fitting jeans and a hoodie that made his arms look even bigger, a heavy gold chain glittering from underneath.

“Hey, Mama. These are for you.” He must've gotten a shave, his facial hair looking sharper, hair covered by a fitted baseball bat. His cologne almost engulfed her as he passed her the roses, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she breathed him in.

“Ony, you already got me flowers.” She still cooed happily as he gifted them to her, letting him inside all giddy and giggly.

“These are for our date, thought you might like ‘em when I saw the pink.” He remembered her saying that was her favorite color yesterday when they had breakfast, so he knew it'd only be right for her to have them.

“Aww, thank you. Let me get something to put them in.” He closed the door for her, eagerly entering to breathe her home in further, smiling at the good feeling he had being inside. The candles she lit had the perfect scent of vanilla, but nothing rivaled her perfume that was floating everywhere. He stopped for a moment, just taking it in as he stopped at a particular photo on the wall.

“You a writer?” He asked, pausing specifically at a picture he saw when he spent the night, one where she stood in her graduation gown, neck covered in medals and holding awards. She looked so cute when she was younger, glasses thicker and hair a bit shorter in curls pouring out of her decorated cap.

“I am I guess. Won a scholarship for it, but I think I should probably start writing more often.” She hummed out as she tried finding another vase for the new bunch of flowers. His gaze getting stuck on her as she bent over, noticing just how tight her dress was. He nearly swore out loud as her hips wiggled trying to pull it from the cabinet, her ass shaking lightly enough to trap him in a daze. Guess he’ll just have to adjust himself all night while he silently suffers.

“Is that what you do for work?” He tore his eyes away, feeling a bit hot as he tried distracting himself. Ony watched her straighten back up, filling the glass with water as she answered.

“Yeah, freelance. Pays the bills and what not.” She was fixing up the petals of her roses, placing them down on the table as he approached her. Reaching into his hoodie pocket, he pulled out something once she turned around, letting her eyes zero in on it before explaining.

“Picked up a treat for us,” His palm opened to show her a sandwich bag full of nugs, shifting around in there, hypnotizing her into watching it. The smell of potent greenery filled the air as soon as he opened it, letting her get a whiff and laughing when she scrunched her face at the smell of straight weed. “Named it ‘Laid-back ‘Lana’.” She couldn’t contain the giggle that bubbled up her throat at the name, her hand trying to cover her mouth at his playfulness.

“Why’d you name it that?” Milana asked, their light and playful banter easing away any thoughts from earlier. This is definitely what she missed, just being around him, basking in the way he joked around.

“‘Cause this shit will have you laid back on that ass the same way you had me on your couch.” Ony chuckled as he watched her burst into a fit of laughter, the most relaxed she’d ever been around him, and the atmosphere was only getting less and less tense. “Here, you got papers?” He asked, handing the bag for her to inspect some more.

“I don’t know how to roll my own…” Her hands fumbled slightly as Milana tried not to sound pathetic, but at twenty-two she should probably know how to roll her own blunt. Or change a tire, or file taxes; maybe she should start with those first.

“Don’t sweat it, Ma. I got backwoods, but you’ve probably never smoked with ‘em before. I got some good ass flavors though.” Obviously coming prepared, he pulled out a packet of the cigar leaves, the purple package reflective under the light as she read the words, ‘Honey Bourbon’, written all over it. “We got to head out to make it before it gets hella dark, so we’ll smoke on the way.”

After grabbing everything and locking up they left to head out, Ony’s hand falling to her back as he went behind her. The walk to his car was dizzying, feeling so stiff with the touch of a man on her. He lead her without having to say a word, and she almost felt like she could float away if she let herself go a bit more, scared of what would happen if she did. Sliding into his car to drive wherever they were supposed to be going, just taking the time to watch Ony as he moved.

Given his occupation, it was no wonder how experienced he was with handling the eighth he was carrying. Grinding it down easily, dusting it gradually into the leaf, thick fingers squeezing and rolling it between each other. Licking it off with a smooth glide of the tongue, their eyes meeting as he did, making her flush and look away. By the time she looked back he was done, the fat blunt sitting between his lips as he lit it, puffing out smoke that danced in the air, wrapping around their heads in grey streaks.

He leaned his head back, letting it glide out then sucking it back in to blow a ghost, shifting slightly to look at her as he passed it. She took it, knowing it'd at least ease her up some more, generously taking it down her lungs until she pulled back coughing after her uncoordinated breath. “Don't smoke much?” Ony laughed at how her eyes narrowed, he knew that already, just was teasing.

“I’ve never had any this strong.” Milana admitted, taking a much smaller puff before handing it back. The effects hitting her almost immediately, eyes going lax and lips pressing together as she felt a rush of euphoria. Ony had to admire how sexy she looked like that, her lashes hanging lower in a sensual cateye. Driving was his only distraction, trying not to turn and glance at her every five seconds, but he was failing that miserably. She wasn't doing much better, the high making it just that more obvious so she faced the window instead, watching the beach waves in his music filled car driving down the highway. Thirty minutes of the most torturous drive for either of them, only wanting to jump each other's bones and forget the formalities.

They were looking forward to this though, especially with the way Ony was so proud of himself once he saw her reaction. Pulling in she could see all the bright shining lights, hues of blue, red, and yellow everywhere in the cartoonish displays. The rides flashing at her as people screamed with joy in every direction, and soon as she stepped out of the car with his help, she could smell popcorn and funnel cake in the air. “The fair?” Her face was just lit up, and it had him pausing as he took it all in. That face was going to be the end of him, because he knew already that he'd go to the ends of the Earth just to see her look at him like that.

“Today’s the last day it’s in town. Knew I had to take you.” Ony took her by the hand as they walked around, getting through the entrance to take in every exciting sight and decide what they wanted to do first. He left it in her hands, indifferent to it all as he just wanted to let her have all the fun she wanted, happily trailing a step behind as she pulled him by the hand. Milana turned to look at him every step of the way, scanning his face to see if anything caught his eye.

They stopped at the ticket counter first, Ony reaching into his pocket for a thick wad of cash inside, neatly folded bills that he grabbed and pulled apart. Counting each one silently in her head, she tried to ignore the mixed feeling of guilt and gratitude, but that was easy given how desirable he looked while being so gracious. She briefly wondered if she should be scared about them getting robbed, but when she took into account how strong he looked, there wasn't too much to be afraid of. His eyes lazy as he hid the rest in his pocket, passing the woman the cash as he asked her, “Where you want to go first, Mama?”

“I don't know… I think I want to do some games, but I’m scared we won’t win.” Milana looked down at the string of red tickets the woman gave her, all bunched together in her hands. “Maybe this one?” She stopped at the booth right in front of them, a fish pond game where they'd at least get a prize judging by how easy it looked. Even the little kids around it were doing well, but Ony only gave a noncommittal hum as he continued looking around, his arm coming to wrap around her shoulders from behind, stepping so close that her stomach clenched in anticipation.

“What about that one?” He turned them to face a little further down, another game table there with giant prizes hanging all at the top. She let him maneuver them towards it, a little unsure once they got closer. It was a BB gun challenge, having to shoot down the targets from a far distance away.

“Are you sure?” Milana looked up at him, holding onto their tickets skeptically. She didn't want to be wasteful, Ony already paid a bunch of money for them to be able to get inside and use the tokens for rides and such. Ultimately, it didn't matter though, not with the way he was seemingly so flippant about it, taking some from her hands to pass to the worker there waiting on them.

“Don’t sweat it, Ma. Have some faith in me.” He was confident, if not a little cocky as he picked up the rifle, resting it in his hands as he focused his sights on aiming it correctly. His feet shoulder with apart, thick finger on the trigger with one eye closed, not moving or even taking a breath.

*bang*

Maybe it was how high she was, but the first shot came out of nowhere, making her jump when she heard the pellet make contact with the painted wood, hitting the small red dot in the middle.

*bang*

*bang*

The last two were quicker, but still made her eyes widen in awe at how fast he’d done that, moving one by one down the line until all three had holes in the center. She didn’t even think a minute had passed by before he was done, sliding the gun down and handing it back to the guy at the stand.

“What did we win?” Ony asked, turning to Milana as the man pointed out the stuffed animals hanging at the top of the booth, giant, almost as tall as her, and all so pretty. Immediately, she narrowed in on a big brown bear, with dark fur and sparkly chestnut eyes. She pointed meekly to it, arms stretched open to let the cuddly animal fall into them as it was passed to her. “You like it?”

Nodding, all smiley as her nails raked through its fur, she couldn’t express how grateful she was, carrying it around as they went down the rows of attractions. Playing games, sharing the biggest plate of funnel cake she’d ever seen, and laughing when Ony got powdered sugar all over his nose, willingly letting her dust it off with her soft hands. He ended up carrying her bear as they made their way to their last ride, the Ferris wheel, helping her step up into the seat as it rocked slightly back and forth.

“Is this safe?” Milana’s eyebrow raised slightly as she sat down, looking around at all the other swinging chairs. It was his idea to go after he told her he’s never been on one before, but now it looked a bit too scary for her.

“Ain’t nothing gonna happen.” He was gruff about it, setting up her bear in the seat so it wouldn’t fall before sliding in the middle, throwing an arm on the back of her chair to wrap around her shoulders. As soon as their door closed the employee pulled the lever to let the ride start, her breath hitching in her chest as it moved mechanically.

“Are you just not afraid of anything?” She asked, not knowing if it was rhetorical or not as the wheel began turning, slowly bringing them higher and higher. She could only stare down at her toes as they got further from the ground.

“What’s there to be afraid of?” Playfully, he rocked her by her shoulders to pull her away from fearfully looking at the floor. Getting her attention to focus on him instead, he figured getting her talking would get her to stop gripping the railing with white knuckles.

“Well for starters, how high up we are.” Her deadpan expression made him chuckle, laying back cool as could be once the ride stopped them at the very top, the world looking much prettier when you could see all the glowing lights in the distance.

“How can I be scared right now?” Ony truly was content, a man who had nothing to fear, only things to desire. Not for more things like money or a new car, he already had all that. He’s craving for something real, someone to share his life with, even someone who he could lean on too.

“I’m always scared,” Her voice was shaky as she tried to close her eyes and relax, vulnerable as she poured her heart out, getting it off her chest. “I think it’s just easier when you’re around though.” Their hands interlocking, his squeezing hers reassuringly at her admission. Just sitting for a second to look at the city from so high up, the breeze flying in their faces making her nose cold.

“Y’don’t have to be scared. I’ll be here, no matter what.” How could he not, stuck in a trance from her beautiful face. Bouncing between her round eyes, fluttering lashes covering the brown, then sliding to her cute button nose, and full pink lips. Committing each detail to memory, counting each beauty mark as her hair blew back in the wind.

“No matter what?” He nodded with determination, no empty promise in sight when they were at the top of the Ferris wheel, just the two of them together and their unwavering bond. “Just… promise me. Promise that you’ll tell me if it’s too much. If I’m too much.” She asked him, fear lacing her tone, afraid to be the one to ruin this for herself, to ruin them already. He didn’t give her the chance to allow the thought to take over, ducking his face down as he slid closer.

“You’ll never be too much. Just right to me.” He whispered, just to her, leaning over to kiss her, cupping the side of her face to keep them close as he groaned from her eagerness to kiss him back. This is what he’d been missing, his mouth moving with hers in sync, allowing those walls to come crumbling down. Hungry for it, craving the affection that being with one another provided, so caught up in their intimate moment to notice that the ride was descending until they were almost to the bottom.

Milana pulled away first, blinking up at him with her shy little smile as Ony’s fingers danced across her cheek, allowing him to lean down and press one last kiss to her lips before they stepped off. Holding each other as they walked back to his car, her head resting on his shoulder the entire way as he led them back to his car, both unable to stop laughing from how much fun they had just being together the entire weekend. She couldn’t even stare at anything else besides him the entire way, going down the highway at night but Ony still managed to shine brighter than the moon beaming down at them. His handsomeness was distracting enough, but getting to know him personally, in a way that most people don’t, was the icing on the cake in her eyes.

They just couldn’t let each other go, she was practically tripping over her feet trying to pull him by his heavy arm. Ony trailing behind, enjoying her more assertive side as she got him to come into her apartment rather easily. To be honest, she could’ve asked him anything and he would’ve done it in a heartbeat right now, too happy making this night perfect for her. The lights dim as they flopped down onto her couch, still reeling from all the excitement. “I can’t believe we just went on a date.” She sighed happily, tossing off her sandals as she faced him, seeing how he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her.

“Really? Thought it was only a matter of time.” He didn’t like feeling far away from her, hand itching to reach out, his willpower getting lower and lower. Grabbing her by the waist, an abundance of giggles rained out as she wiggled in his arms until he settled her down on his leg again, just like he’d done at the club.

They took a moment to take each other in, Milana shifting to sling her other leg over his body, unintentionally sitting flush on his thigh, but too wrapped up in how good it felt being close to him to notice. Shifting up to lean in, he cupped the side of her face, tender as he pulled her in to kiss her, a quick peck that had her slowly melting into him. Her hips moving to get closer until an unfamiliar feeling shot through her, making her go stiff in his hands. “What’s wrong?”

She didn’t know at first, mind still trying to register the arousal that she felt pooling deep within, hands falling onto his shoulders as she unsurely ground down again. Call it virgin curiosity, but she couldn’t stop exploring after her first taste of pleasure. Her head spinning with confusing sensations, the heaviness of passion weighing her down to roll back and forth on his thigh another time until her eyes shifted up and saw his expression. Blank with disbelief, mouth agape as he watched her move, kick starting her into stopping her movement to explain herself.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry-I don’t-” Ony snatched her up in an instant, grabbing her by the hips to pull her into riding his thigh again. She never expected that, hands staying up in the air out of pure shock before he pulled them down, urging her to touch him back. Milana did so as she whimpered, trying to keep up with the way he was moving her.

“I tried.” He grunted, his body working with fervor as he helped her grind, eyes shut tight as he felt himself quickly hardening, his thigh tensing underneath her. “I really fucking tried, but I need you.” Big and burly arms locked tightly around her as he breathed her in, mind going fuzzy as he tuned out entirely, letting his actions speak for him. Adrenaline was pumping through them, hands gripping at each other, desperate to touch, feel, see everything they could. Everywhere her fingers grazed left him yearning for more, the realization that he’d been craving for this his entire life felt like cold water splashing over his heated skin. Too used to floating in and out of people’s lives to get the touch that he needed, the touch that only she seemed to provide, practically thriving after starving for it.

“You’re alright, Mama.” He reassured, hands sliding under her dress, Milana was spooked at first by the touch, but was relaxed down by his calming strokes. They moved so easily, bunching up her dress until it rose around her hips to give him more access to her, kisses trailed along her collarbone to keep her from retreating into her head.

He began moving upward, skimming her throat as his mind went blank, the only thing he could tangibly string together was her name over and over in his mind. Her hair, her voice, her scent, it made him feel dizzy just thinking about it, a burning feeling of greed taking over any rational thought. He needed her badly, running hot as he finally made it to her face, opening his eyes to meet hers as he pressed forward, taking her by surprise as he lowered her down slow into his lap, feeling her nearly bare skin meet his jeans.

Her mouth dropped open in the neediest moan he’d ever heard, long and whiney, eyes rolling to the back of her head as they closed. The expression was just too good, making his dick jump as he sat up, clutching her hips desperately. “Fuck, Milana.” He groaned out, slightly shifting to get her adjusted, quickly needing her to feel him too. “Don’t do that shit, Baby. Gonna stop my fucking heart.”

She couldn’t say anything, too busy trying to stop herself from shaking as Ony began moving her up and down his groin over his pants. Rocking her hips faster, steadier, with so much effort she almost thought they were actually having sex. The image made her knees try to close together, his hands shifting to grip under her thighs, forcing them open as he grunted curses in her ear.

Milana couldn’t stop herself from moving, like she was lit with fire for the first time, throwing her arms around Ony’s neck to clutch him closer. “Need me, Mama, don’t you?” Nodding and unable to hide small moans from escaping her, their lips met again, noisy and echoing around the room. She was so damp, Ony was starting to see her show up on his jeans, having to look away before he embarrassed himself in front of this girl.

“Fuck,” He cursed when her nails ran down the nape of his neck, his hips lifting off the couch to put force behind the thrusts he was giving her. Ony’s hands curving down to grip her ass, hissing as her clit caught perfectly over his bulge, pulling her all the way up, up, up, then back down until she felt like she was fraying at the seams. “Stay with me, Baby.” He urged, but her mind was too cloudy to sense that unfamiliar feeling at first, too busy asking the Lord to forgive her for praying to lose her virginity after a first date. Thoughts turning to mush before they could form and soon she found herself stuck in the feeling that she was going to burst.

Then her stomach wound tighter, eyes snapping open in panic as she felt a mix of emotions, wanting to go faster and run away from the feeling all at once. Tingles crawled up her body from her toes, moving with vigor to heighten the pressure as it all rushed to her head. Her hips trying to jump away from his, squealing as she tried to stop her impending orgasm before it made her lose control, hands pressing into his chest to push away.

“Gonna cum, Mama?” Calling Milana back as he forced her to sit flush down on him again. He was asking like he already knew that, and when she tried looking at him through teary eyes she was taken aback at the hungry glint in them. “Yeah, gonna make a fucking mess. Let that shit happen, ‘want you to soak my face after.”

Milana’s mouth dropped open, whining out as she clutched onto him, thrown headfirst into an orgasm she never expected. It felt like free falling right into his waiting arms, where he could bring her more pleasure than she ever thought possible, without even having to touch her. His kisses trailed from her jaw down her neck, toes curling and eyes watering in bliss as she tried to catch her breath. He let her settle slightly, then flipped them both over to lay her on the couch. Her head lying on the armrest as Milana looked at her ceiling, body sagging into the cushions while Ony took her legs and threw them over his shoulders.

“Damn, that was good, Baby. So fucking good. Gonna have you do that on my mouth then around me next, Mama.” He rambled out, planting long appreciative kisses over her inner thighs, getting closer and closer to her covered pussy. His head dipping down to press his lips right against her, surprised at how she shrieked and pushed herself up slightly to see him, eyebrow raising as he stopped to make sure she was alright. To be fair, she didn’t expect them to still keep going, not with how worn out she felt either.

“Uhh… Ony… think I should-probably should tell you some-something…” Her chest was still rising and falling rapidly, whole body thrown off kilter in a sensitive state that had her scrambling while trying to find her bearings. He nodded for her to continue, rubbing circles into her skin when he saw how she was still coming down into reality, thinking she was just a bit delicate in the moment. “I just never- that was my first time so-”

“What?” Ony practically threw himself off of her, legs falling off his body as he moved to sit across from her, a rush of indecipherable emotions written all over him. The sudden loss of touch made her feel a lot more hurt than he intended, but he was honestly so blindsided by her confession that he thought his heart stopped. “Are you saying that you're…” God, it all made sense now, why she was so nervous all the time, shying away from any hint of intimacy, why didn't he see it sooner? “Fuck, Milana.”

His head dropped into his hands, groaning out in an unmistakable tone of frustration as he sobered up, her stomach twisting in a not-so-pleasurable way after that. Once again, her big mouth strikes again, opening it just when things were going so well. Why did she have to stop him, why did that knawing feeling in the back of her mind have to tell her that they might've been moving too fast? Her face dropping with so much disappointment as she tried not to get weepy. “I’m sorry…” Voice tinged with pain as a hand rubbed at the corner of her eyes.

Ony didn't miss the way she sounded, head picking up to jump into action, pulling her back into him, tucked in his side. “Shit-No, Baby. I'm not upset with you. I'm mad at my damn self, should've known better than to be trying to push all up on you like that.” He explained, trying to blanket her with as much comfort as he could, hand a bit frantic as it moved up and down her back. “Fuck, shouldn’t have done that, it wasn't right. I just don't want to take advantage of you, Mama.”

His mind was rushed with guilt, feeling like he just pushed her too hard and definitely way too fast. A bad feeling erupting inside, thinking that he'd been too selfish in the moment, using his second head instead of the one resting on his shoulders. “Don't say that.” She mumbled, her sniffling getting quieter as she saw how upset he was. “I wanted to do that with you, I just didn't think you'd even like me.”

“What?” After all that he thought she'd at least realize he liked her little stubborn behind. “Of course I fucking like you. I don't take girls out and shit, did that ‘cause I want you to be mine.” He admitted it so truthfully, that it shocked her to the core, the revelation swaddling her in the tenderness of his words.

“Really?” Milana felt it, she really did this time. Her eyes were getting watery all over again as it came over her in waves, feeling just as good as his touch was.

“Yes, Milana. I really want you.” Ony felt a rush of relief, his body sagging down to lean against hers too, just needing to hold her for a while. They laid down together, arms wrapping around to hold each other with soothing light touches, side by side facing each other on her little sofa. Her hands sliding to cup his face as he buried his face in her neck, practically laying on top of him to make room, but it was the most comfortable she’d ever been. They would have a lot to talk about soon; her fears, his tough shell, their shared desires, but both were certain that together, it’d be alright.

Hello Everyone! Thank you for being so patient and for supporting my story! I can't believe Milana and Ony already had their first date! It only gets better from here for them, so keep tuning in to read! xoxo - Bow 🎀

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[grandline-fics]

Hi :3 i just watched the new episode and i want to hit that girl she had to touch zoro and sleep wit him 💔

So may I request zoro xs/o about seeing him with the girl maybe some angst and fluff in the end?

DESCRIPTION: After an unplanned separation, you feel insecure about your new relationship

WARNINGS: angst to fluff

CHARACTERS: Zoro

WORDS: 1,852

A/N:  Thank you for this request! I think I rushed the ending a bit but I hope you're happy with it

*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*

MASTERLIST

———————

Things between you and Zoro were new, incredibly new. There was still a lot you both had to come to grips with, sorting out your feelings and boundaries with each other and still in that moment of not knowing whether what was happening between you both was just lust or if it was going to lead somewhere real. So far you’d both been content to just enjoy the time and moments shared while keeping it all a secret from the crew, deciding it was better to wait before letting them know your personal details. That had been the plan, then it all went wrong in Zou. 

You’d been standing too close to Luffy as you all discussed saving Sanji who was in Big Mom’s territory. Because of that, you were one of the ones he wrapped his arms around and leapt off of the enormous elephant. From there started the longest time you’d both been apart as a couple-albeit a secret one- but you knew Zoro would be just fine in Wano. You just had to do your part and help get Sanji back so the crew could finally be complete again and wasting time thinking about a certain swordsman would only just jeopardise the safety of the crew. 

The entire trip and rescue had been an ordeal you never wanted to go through again. The fractured relationship between Sanji and Luffy had taken its toll- even though much of what Sanji did was to protect everyone- and the battles you had to endure too. You didn’t feel like you could properly breathe any sigh of relief for most of the journey. Yes, you’d all been successful but the loss of Pedro and knowing that as soon as you reached Wano it wouldn’t be long until you were brought straight into another monumental burden of fighting and defeating an Emperor of the sea and his followers. You felt like your head was swimming and stomach was going to be twisted into knots from it all. The only thing that kept you from showing your worries to the others was the thought of seeing Zoro again after weeks of being apart. 

So imagine your shock and hurt of the first seeing him again was seeing him and Sanji interfere during the aftermath of an execution. It wasn’t the fact that he saved a child or that he immediately got into a shouting match with Sanji that got under your skin it was that he didn’t even seem to look for you in the crowd where you stood with the others. Then as fast as you saw him, he was gone again; running to safety with a beautiful woman in his arms. You told yourself you were being ridiculous, that while it seemed like they knew each other Zoro was only acting on instinct to save someone and not because of some other desires fuelling his actions. 

At least that’s what you told yourself at first but as you and the others in the crew ran to escape Kaido’s lackeys you had to listen to Brook gleefully inform a heartbroken Sanji that he had walked in on the sight of this same beautiful woman sleeping contently with Zoro. While Sanji screamed loudly at the revelation you internalised all of your hurt until you were safe and alone, finally able to take out your fury and heartbreak on some random tree in the dense forest with your weapon until your body was too exhausted to move let alone care anymore. In the coming days of preparing for the raid on Kaido’s banquet you kept to yourself, doing all you could to focus your mind on the reason for being in Wano. Still you couldn’t help but numbly rationalise Zoro’s actions. 

Of course the weeks apart would give him insight into how he truly felt. Of course he would have realised he could do better than you. Of course you both only got together in the first place because on the ship, you were the alternative to having any needs he had go unmet. You had to face facts, this was just a fling for Zoro and nothing more. It just killed you inside to realise that you felt so strongly for him, you wished things had ended before it had gotten this far for you. The only thing you were glad of when Zoro finally reappeared was that he had a new sword to hone and train with so he stayed away from you. If there was to be a conversation you wanted it to be after the fight with Kaido, a clouded mind would only lead to mistakes and in this situation it would have been fatal. 

However on the night before the planned fight while the crew had finished their preparations and were beginning to turn in, Zoro walked towards you in the quiet night. He knew you had been keeping your distance from him so he could train and he appreciated that you were so understanding that when he was focused, he needed space. But now there was no more training he could do in the short hours before things would start so he wanted to properly reach out to you. He’d missed you during the time away but to see that you were completely unharmed was a relief. If you’d come back to him with so much as a scratch he would have killed the stupid cook because at the core of the matter it would have been his fault. 

Zoro frowned when you glanced his way and immediately moved to gather your things and find a new place to rest. His hand dropped to your arm but you surprised him when you quickly and sharply twisted from his touch. Then he remembered you two were still a secret. He glanced around the space and smirked to see the coast was clear, but even if the others were still up and about he wouldn’t have cared, not after the time apart. Still if you were still worried about telling the others he’d respect that. “We’re fine. It’s just us.” He spoke lowly to reassure you but it seemed to have the opposite affect when you snapped your head up to glare at him.

“Us?” You repeated coldly, expression melting into one of mock confusion. “There’s an us?���

“Wh-” Zoro was genuinely thrown for a moment and then he became worried that you had been injured in the time away and lost your memories of him. “Of course there is! What happened?” Again he reached out for you but this time your hand slapped his fingers with a sharp snap while the fierce glare returned to your eyes.

“Oh nothing’s wrong with me, I just don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. Last thing I’d want is to get cosy with someone else’s man.” Your tone was scarily even and Zoro still didn’t know what you were talking about. He didn’t even know how to fix whatever it was that was bothering you. Thankfully you clarified by lightly tapping the hilt of Enma that was against his hip with his other swords. “It’s cute she knows the right gifts to give you so early in the romance.”  Despite the sweet words, the venom in your voice was unmistakable and Zoro finally saw the pain dimming your eyes as you regarded his new sword.

“Hiyori?” Zoro asked startled that you’d even think there was anything romantic going on there. She only gave him the sword as an exchange that was it. “There’s nothing between us. Definitely not ‘cosy’ trust me on that.” At that you let out a short, hollow breath of laughter which worried Zoro even more when he was so used to your laugh being filled with warmth and joy. 

“Well the way Brook tells it, the whole situation seemed very cosy…” Slowly you stepped closer to him, finally for the first time in ages and dragged your fingers across his chest while your other hand slid up his arm, drawing your body further into his space. Your head tilted up, purposely letting your nose gently skim against his throat until you could peer up at him with your guarded gaze. “Something like this, if i’m remembering right. You don’t call this cosy?” Zoro was stuck, if he said yes he was screwed, if he said no he was also screwed.

“Don’t worry about it Zoro. We had our fun while it lasted, right?” You forced out in as light a voice as possible. “You should get some rest while you can and I don’t want to waste anymore of your time.” When you moved to pull away you were immediately caught by Zoro’s reflexes. While you were fast, he was faster when he wanted to be. You let out a gasp to be pulled impossibly close against his chest as his arms locked around you, holding your body against his. 

You wanted to fight against the hold that was strong, secure, and -as much as you hated it- comforting. Even now with your heartbroken mind racing, you always felt safe and warm in his arms. You tried to open your mouth to tell him to let go but you couldn’t. Part of you didn’t want to  because the last thing you wanted now was for your voice to be a pitiful, weak tremble but another part knew that even if you managed out the words, he would have listened. So you kept your mouth closed. “I’ve missed you. I wished you hadn’t gone after that cook with the others.” 

Your body tensed at his words, hearing how sincere they were made your knotted worries and spiralling hurt begin to loosen slightly. You didn’t regret helping with Kanji’s rescue but you did also wish you’d gone to Wano with Zoro. “I’m sorry you were made to think the worst. I promise you there wasn’t anything going on with her or anyone. There is no one but you.”  

“Don’t say that.” You whispered, trying not to melt into his embrace. Even with him telling the truth it didn’t stop the fact that your insecurities had surfaced and with them came concerns about everything. “Compared to someone like her I’m-”

“Perfect. Mine. Everything.” Zoro interrupted fiercely before pressing a kiss against your temple. “I’ll say it as many times as it takes to get you to believe it. But first-” You staggered when Zoro let you go and began stomping towards the Sunny. “I’ve got a skeleton to kill for causing you to hurt.” Bewildered by the immediately bloodlust rolling off of his frame you had no choice but to chase after him to stop him from killing another member of the crew while shouting that you believe him. When you finally caught up to him you pulled him into another tight hug with shaking hands. While things were still new between you two and it was clear you both had a lot to work out you now knew that for as long as you wanted him, Zoro would be there. 

[mybworlds]

All gone (the promise)

Pairing: jackson!joel miller x f!reader (no use of Y/N)

Summary: You, after a very long trip alone across the country, arrive in Jackson. Joel is a very lonely man and after Ellie broke up with him, he's even more alone and grumpy. Tommy and Maria decide that you're going to stay at Joel's house for a while, at least until more houses are built. Will your cohabitation be easy? Or will it be more complicated than everyone thinks?

Warnings: use of you, use of alcohol, loneliness, suicidal thoughts, suicidal attempt, a short story about sexual assault that occurred in the past I won't go into details, another SA in the present days, violence, blood, lots of sexually explicit content, use of petnames, dirty talk, fluff elements, mutual pining, the main characters spy on each other for a while, the image of the female character has the sole purpose of representing the character, but you can imagine her however you want, no physical description of the female character except for long hair often gathered in a ponytail or braid, she wears a bra and jeans (most of the time).

Extra warnings for this chapter: spoilers about the TLOU2.

I hope I haven't offended anyone's sensibilities if I've made certain personal choices.

I chose this title because if you know you know.

Masterlist

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Thx for the dividers @saradika-graphics

Joel sees you almost collapse on him, your head completely abandoned on his chest. He closes his eyes savoring that completely new contact between you.

He likes it.

He didn't think he would appreciate such contact with you.

He caresses your back and your hair gently, you press yourself even more against him if possible and he thinks that, despite everything, he fell for it again. He feels stupid, he had promised himself he would never warm up to someone again because then things always ended up falling apart and he was destroyed. And instead life brought him someone else.

He sighs, staring at the ceiling, and then he looks at you. You look so peaceful, he wants to caress your face, but he doesn't have the courage.

You're beautiful.

He gently moves away from you and then covers you with a couple of thick blankets. Although he's not completely sober, he decides to make himself a coffee.

It's the first time in a long time that he decides not to remain in a state of drunkenness, but to regain control of his thoughts and himself.

He feels so confused and at the same time filled with a feeling similar to happiness and excitement. It's a good feeling that is spreading in his chest.

He doesn't know why he kissed you or why you did it, what feeling confused your mind. Or maybe it was just the alcohol.

He smiles. Despite the events of the evening, he smiles. And that's not something that happens often anymore.

Coffee helps him recover from the alcohol that dulls his mind. When he regains almost full control of his actions, he goes upstairs and goes to his room full of animal carvings, guitars, sheet music and thinks back to when he taught Ellie to play the guitar. He felt good and experienced a sensation very similar to peace.

He touches the guitar and finds himself smiling before picking it up and going out onto the porch to play a little.

When he's fully in control of his actions again, Joel begins to strum. The music that comes out has that right rhythm so much so that Joel finds himself moving his head and a leg in time. Then, a movement and a noise catches his attention. It's Ellie.

“Hey.” he greets her with a husky voice. Ellie approaches him almost hesitantly, approaching the porch railing. Joel reaches her, putting his guitar aside and bringing it up to her side holding his cup in his hands. He approaches her hesitantly as if afraid to say or do too much.

“What are you drinking?” she asks just looking at his face.

“Coffee.” he answers looking straight ahead.

She looks at him sideways and nods, “Where’d you get that?”

“Um, those people that came through last week.” he answers “It’s not bad.” he adds sipping his coffee.

For a while neither of them says anything, there is only the silence of the night as a backdrop to their conversation.

“I had Seth under control.” she whispers.

“Yeah, I know." he replies in a low voice.

“And you need to stop harrassing Jesse about my patrols.” the girl scolds him in a low voice.

He lowers his head and just nods, “Okay.”

He suddenly realizes that she is no longer the little girl with whom he crossed half the country, she is a woman and has the right to be treated as such.

“Dina,” Ellie freezes in place “is she your girlfriend?”

Ellie starts to get agitated as if embarrassed and Joel would like to hug her more than ever and tell her that there’s nothing wrong if she likes her, but Ellie denies, “That was just one kiss. It does mean anything. She... I don’t know why she did.” then turning her head away as if to hide her embarrassment.

“You do like her.” Joel states and the long silence that follows is a silent confirmation for the man “Look, I have no idea what that girl’s intentions are, but... I do know she would be lucky to have you.” he says.

Ellie stiffens again, “You're such an asshole.”

“I’m not trying to…” he wants to clear things up with her right away. He doesn't want to regain her trust by telling her this.

“I was supposed to die in that hospital. My life would’ve fucking mattered. But you took that from me.”

Joel remembers that day very well, the things he did, how many lives he took just to save the life of the only person he had learned to love like a daughter. He had never regretted his choice and if he could, he would do it again. Exactly all over again.

“If somehow the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment... I would do it all over again.” Ellie certainly didn’t expect to hear these words from him. In fact, her expression becomes that of someone who is absorbing the words she has just heard.

“I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that.” she says giving Joel another beating “But I would like to try.” she adds almost trembling.

Joel couldn't ask for anything more than another chance with her!

“I‘d like that.” he tells really hoping so.

“Okay. I'll see you around.” she says.

“Yep.” so, there is a faint hope and he can only really hope and commit himself to making things better between them. Joel hints at a smile even though Ellie has already turned her back on him.

The next day you feel completely upset, you have blankets over you and you still smell Joel's strong scent in your nostrils. You are still wearing Dina's dress which has now almost completely ridden up exposing your legs and thighs. You adjust yourself by sitting back down and thinking about the previous night.

From what you remember, you exchanged more than one kiss and you touched each other, not in that way, but you touched each other nonetheless.

You talked. A lot. Even if you don't completely remember everything he said to you or the things you said to him.

He's not here, but maybe it's for the best. You wouldn't know what to say. Or how to look at him. You just know that you would probably feel embarrassed or almost certainly just avoid his gaze or his mere presence.

You look out the window, it's snowing heavily. It's very cold.

You shrug and make yourself some hot tea as you think about what happened last night. You close your eyes and sigh. You remember the strange intimacy that was created. It gave you such a strange hot cold feeling. You don't even know how to describe what you experienced.

Since you left the Boston QZ, you’ve been alone. Or rather, almost always alone. You avoided people as much as possible, well aware that no one is the same as before. Neither do you.

You close the fire and pour your tea. Its warmth is so pleasant that you warm up in no time. As you recover from sleep, you remember that you have to go on a patrol today too, so you go upstairs to get dressed. You quickly put on a sweater, jeans and then a coat, hat, gloves, bow and arrows. Then, you hide in your boots a dagger that you have been wearing since you began to run away and wander from one place to another.

You know you're going to meet Joel. You wonder how you should behave, you wonder if you should pretend that nothing happened or if you should tell him something. What you remember from last night is a bit hazy and almost seems like it happened in a dream, to tell the truth you're not even entirely sure if you kissed him or if he touched you or if you just dreamed it.

You think it's been a long time since you felt this safe in someone's arms knowing he wouldn't hurt you. It certainly won't happen again, but it was nice to feel protected and, even if only for a moment, to feel that unknown warmth that warms your heart.

Your thoughts go to Ralph, oh how you liked him! The way he smiled at you, the way he hugged you, it seemed to you that there was nothing wrong in what he did or said, then that night changed everything and you understood who he really was. You thought he was your Prince Charming, but that nighttime he revealed who he really was.

You had another experience after that and immediately your thoughts go to that young man with whom you ran away for a while, what you experienced, what you saw, but.. that's another story.

Your mind wanders back to Joel and the night before, and you find yourself thinking that whatever happened was just the alcohol's fault. There’s nothing between you and there never will be.

You sigh sadly and then leave the house and go to Tipsy Bison to look for Dina or Jesse, but when you are there you only find old Seth intent on taking down the lights from the party the night before and railing against the arrogant young people.

You approach him greeting him and asking him if he had seen your two friends, he mumbles a sort of greeting and then tells you that they went out on patrol at the first light of dawn.

"And Joel?" you dare ask him.

“That cheap drunken piece of shit!” he spits "He and his brother are also patrolling. I hope an avalanche hits him!" you don't comment on this last sentence, you turn your back to him and reach out Jackson's stables.

The horse you have ridden before is here, you take the bridle and take it out, then after having placed your backpack you get on the saddle and leave.

There is a storm going on so the horse is having a hard time moving forward, you feel a sudden disturbing foreboding. You hope Joel and Tommy have taken refuge somewhere. Who knows where Jesse and Dina are!

Maybe you shouldn't have ventured out alone, not that it scares you, in short you've come a long way alone so it's fine. You don't even know why you rushed out there: Dina and Jesse are sometimes rushed, but prepared. Joel and Tommy are two grown men who sure they can manage just fine without you.

However, the further the horse advances, the more an incomprehensible anxiety grows within you.

In the distance you hear the screams of infected people, they are close. You gulp. Your heart rate increases. Your senses are on high alert and you are ready to take up your bow and arrow. Then, you see them all crowded together against a net. The horse gets angry and is about to turn back, but you stop it.

A couple of them notice you and run towards you and try to pull you down, but you manage to push one away with a kick to the face and another receives a kick from the horse's hooves.

You tighten the reins and look around, other infected are approaching, you quickly look around "JOEL?! TOMMY?!" you call them, but you still only hear the screams of the infected and a few moments later an explosion.

The horse gets crazy, but luckily you manage to hold on to the bridle and avoid falling. You give a thrust of your spurs and manage to free yourself from the infected that were surrounding you.

While the horse laboriously advances through the snow and towards an unspecified destination, all of a sudden, you notice a house with a pitched roof. It's on Joel and Tommy's path, maybe they're there. At first glance it seems like a place like any other, but what strikes you is the closed gate in front, full of infected that are burning. Joel and Tommy never had bombs or anything like that or anyone in Jackson, so it can't have been them, but that house is on their path and there are too many infected.

Something’s wrong!

When you are close enough, you hear the shot of a gun and that's when your senses become fully alert. The Millers may be in danger!

You leave the horse at such a distance that no one sees you, nor raiders nor the infected. You move quickly being careful not to attract too much attention and then you approach the wall that separates the house from the path and climb over it with some difficulty.

As soon as you step onto the ground, you hear a voice shout “OVER THERE!” you barely have time to look up and hide before at least a dozen bullets are fired your way.

“AND NOW WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?!” a second voice blurts out.

“You just shoot!” you hear the first voice say.

You crouch and then move to the left, take off your bow and nock an arrow, then aim in a flash and shoot.

You hide, you hear that you hit him because the other voice exclaims “YOU SON OF A BITCH! NOW YOU’LL GET YOURS!!!”

You take another arrow and then you stand up and shoot, the other one also shoots. Your arrow hits him right in the eye, killing him instantly, but his shot wounds you in the shoulder.

You grit your teeth and, making sure there's no one else out there, you enter. The house is abandoned, or so it seems. For a moment you think that those two guys were alone, and you are about to leave, then a scream of pain stops you.

You listen, no it can't be the guy outside. That groan of pain comes from inside, perhaps someone else is injured and therefore took refuge here. You move forward and hear yet another grunt and then voices.

What the fuck.

“Go look.” you hear a voice again, it comes from what appears to be a cellar.

You crouch next to some stairs that go down, the door opens and three more men locked and loaded appear. You nock one arrow after another and shoot. Not a single one is missing. The three guys fall lifeless on the stairs.

“ABBY, WE HAVE TO GO! END IT NOW!” you hear yet another voice and then a desperate voice “Please, don't...”

You go down at breakneck speed recognizing Ellie's voice. When you open the door, you find what you never expected. Three of your people are on the ground and at least six people standing towering over them.

Your arrival seems to have charged the air with a terrifying electricity. Nobody moves. Your bow is drawn and your arrow ready to be shot, “Let ‘em go.” you command, “Or you are dead.”

“You're at a disadvantage, little girl.” says one who approaches you “We don't want to hurt you or your friend or the other one. We just want him.”

Your eyes run first to Ellie who has a split lip and a desperate expression, to Tommy who is unconscious and then to Joel.

The air feels like it's been sucked out of your lungs and out of the room.

Joel is almost an unrecognizable mask of blood, in fact for a moment you think it's not even him. For a moment you think the guy is making fun of you, but then you recognize his build, his hair. He's lying on his side, his hand full of blood abandoned next to his swollen face covered in living blood.

“Let him go!” you hiss turning to a young woman with an angry and grim face, she's big and has a golf club full of blood in her hands.

“No!” she exclaims, raising her club again, and then your arrow is fired and pierces her wrist. She lets go with a scream the improvised weapon, bringing her other hand to the wrist and bending over on herself.

She’s joined by another girl, while you are immediately attacked by two others who make you lose your bow and make you fall to the ground.

You don't even know how hard you kick and escape the grasp of one of the two and with one movement you take out the knife you've always kept hidden in your boots and hit him in the jugular. The blood gushes profusely, dirtying your face and the hand with which you hold the knife.

“NO!” the two women scream in despair “You damn whore!” sobs Joel's attacker gritting her teeth in pain and anger.

You quickly pull out the knife, freeing yourself from the man's weight, and get on your knees. Two more guys try to hit you, but you avoid their shots and hit a second one, stabbing him in the wrist and pinning him against the wall. You grab his gun and shoot, freeing Ellie.

Only the two women remained, the girl you hit now has a sleeve full of blood “Go away.” you threaten by pointing the gun at them.

“I'm not finished here yet. I'm not leaving,” the woman who was hitting Joel says through gritted teeth, “You, Mel, go.”

“But...” the other you don't know who she is, but you honestly don't care “I stay.”

“Don't be stupid,” she hisses through her teeth.

“What should I do?! I'm not like you.” you see the other tremble.

“You won't do anything. You are a good person. Think about your child now.” you hear the first one say.

“Come with me, please.” She begs the other girl. Abby shakes her head, her eyes narrowed with a serious expression.

The girl with the short hair runs away, the other with a big braid and looking strong as a bull glares at you as if she's memorizing your features, “You are not my target!”

“I know, but I can't let you kill him!” you hiss, holding the gun out towards the woman.

“He's a murderer and today he will die,” having said this she takes the golf club again and is about to hit him, when Ellie throws herself at her with all her strength.

You see the two fighting so fiercely that you don't know how to help Ellie who is succumbing to the punches and powerful slaps of the other girl.

“Let her go!” you scream throwing yourself on Abby pulling her hair and scratching her everywhere.

The girl lets go of Ellie, but to free herself from your grip, she goes backwards, making you crash violently into the wall behind you, once, twice, three times. You let go and slide to the ground, ending up underneath her.

The blows she inflicts on you are so heavy and violent that they almost make you faint. You taste blood in your mouth and maybe it's dripping from your nose or maybe from your cheekbone, you don't know. Your vision is completely blurred when a gunshot echoes through the room. Abby stops and almost looks surprised before looking down at her chest. The shirt quickly gets soaked in blood and falls on you, making you almost scream in pain.

You can't see anything. You struggle to move the woman's lifeless body. Ellie helps you, grunting with effort. You take a deep breath and then roll onto your side and try to regain some control.

“Joel,” Ellie moans reaching him, while you catch your breath “Joel,” the girl sobs, you can see her wanting to touch his face, but she doesn't even know where so much his face is swollen and bleeding.

“Ellie,” you gasp, crawling and reaching it with difficulty and then grabbing her shoulders, “lemme see.” you say, looking at him. Last night you caressed his cheek and his hair and he smiled at you and you kissed, you remember this well, now he doesn't move and he lies abandoned on his side.

“Joel,” you murmur breathlessly, fearing that he's dead and that you will never be able to hear his voice again.

Joel lets out a long moan of pain, his lips tremble, blood flows from his mouth as he tries to say something, he doesn't open his eyes, he murmurs first Ellie's name and then yours, you place your hand on his “I'm here, Ellie is fine, don't worry. Now I'm going to call for help.”

Joel mutters your name again “Take care of Ellie for me,” a deep anguish spreads through you, suddenly it's as if you've gone under the ice hearing those words of his.

“Joel, you will live. Hang on.”

Moments later, you and Ellie hear more noises. You both reach out for your weapons fearing that the escaped girl may have called for reinforcements, but shortly afterwards Dina, Jesse, Vasquez, Fraser and Smith appear at the top of the stair.

"We need help!" you shout. The little group rushes in and they see the disaster that has happened down there in that room.

Joel has been in that room used as an operating room for hours. He needed various transfusions, you also offered to give him your blood, but the doctor told you no as you have already lost a lot of blood.

You, Ellie, Dina, Jesse don't leave the makeshift hospital even for a moment. Tommy wanted to do the same, but Maria and the doctor ordered him to rest and above all to avoid standing for many hours. He recommended it to you too, but after the first two attempts he gave up.

Your wounds have been dressed and your shoulder bandaged. You washed your hand as best as you could, but nevertheless your hands remain reddish.

Ellie looks contrite, her eyes clouded with tears, she sniffs trying to act strong, but she's giving in. Her face is swollen as if she's been slapped and you imagine your face isn't too different from hers.

You approach, sitting next to her, you're not sure where to start. You want to be encouraging, tell her that everything will be fine and that he will survive, but the truth is, you don't know either. You don't want to delude yourself or give vain hopes to a girl who is probably even worse off than you. You just clasp your hands convulsively and wait in silence.

His last words echo inside you, making you gasp for air.

He can't die.

You bite your bottom lip feeling a sudden sour sensation in the pit of your stomach. You close your eyes while breathing deeply. Your head is spinning.

You promised yourself never to get attached again, to live only for yourself, but instead.

You failed.

You also care about another person and with the result of feeling bad and fragile for him.

Fifty.

Fourty nine.

Fourty eight.

Forty seven.

Fourty six.

Forty five.

The air around you has become unbreathable. You want to scream for help, but you don't want others to know how you feel. A gasp escapes your lips and you place your hands on your knees trying to breathe deeply.

Forty four.

Fortythree.

Forty-two.

Fourty one.

Forty.

“You okay?”

You gasp, “Huh? Yes. . .” you moan, hearing your own voice come out strangled. You don't look at Ellie, if you look at the girl's face you know you would completely explode. The last time Joel held you close and reassured you, he gave you the strength not to suffocate.

Thirty-nine.

Thirty-eight.

Thirtyseven.

Thirtysix.

Thirtyfive.

You feel your hands shaking. There is a lot of coming and going from the room used as an operating theatre, you hear the sound of the monitors, the close beeps. Your heart does somersaults with fear.

He can't die. He must survive.

You have never believed nor will you today, but if there is Someone, let this Someone have mercy on him and spare him.

Thirty four.

Thirty three.

Thirty two.

Thirty-one.

The doctor comes out of the operating room, you struggle to get up, not least because of the tiredness, but because of everything you are feeling, but also because of the terror, the anguish.

“He's alive, but he lost a lot of blood. We have to wait for him to wake up, but I'm confident he will wake up soon. His recovery will be long and painful. The important thing is that you never leave him alone and has maximum rest.”

Ellie nods, “Okay. Thanks.” she gives you a quick glance before hugging Dina and Jesse, Fraser later says, “I'm going to tell Tommy.”

You're about to collapse and you would have if Jesse hadn't hugged you and lifted you in mid-air making you giggle for the first time that day and feel light as a feather.

“If you hadn't found ‘em in time…” he says, as you rest your head on his shoulder.

You try to hold back the sobs that shake your chest. You breathe deeply, burying your head in Jesse's neck.

You want to see him.

You need to.

You don't even know where this need comes from considering how he treated you since you've been in Jackson.

You release your grip from the boy to turn to the doctor, “Can we see him?”

“In a little while we'll move him to the post-operative room and you can do it from behind the glass.” the man informs you.

You nod before to notice a movement beyond the doors. You don't have a hard time understanding that they're moving Joel.

You and Ellie follow the movement as best you can from the other side of the corridor and then find yourself in front of a glass and there you see him: he is connected to some machines, a ventilator and is still receiving a transfusion.

Your heart sinks, Ellie places a hand on the glass. You don't know what expression she has, but you're sure it's identical to yours.

Now that Joel's face is clean of blood, you notice how the features of his face have been disfigured and distorted. His cheekbones are puffy and black, his eyelids are closed but they are so swollen they look like two tennis balls, his lips are split in several places, on the cheeks there are numerous cuts, some more subtle and others evident and deep.

The face of the man you caressed and kissed last night is no longer there.

“Joel,” you sob under your breath before you realize it.

Ellie looks up at you, she squeezes your hand tightly, “He'll make it. We have to believe that he will. He'll wake up,” she says, looking back at the man.

You're cold, you should take a painkiller. It's been several hours since you took it. You breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, it hurts, but you don't want to leave Joel.

Ellie was practically dragged away by Dina to eat. They tried to do the same to you, but you fought back with all your strenght and the result was that you got a sandwich there.

You think about when Joel made you tea, when he brought you food, when he held you close in the throes of that panic attack. It's true he was an asshole and he didn't always treat you well, in fact on several occasions he made you feel like an intruder, but what's the point of thinking about it now? He's now in that bed, still intubated. The third transfusion is now nearing the end. He's sick.

You are so tired. You need a break. A break where you can relax, not be afraid for yourself or for those who, willingly or unwillingly, have entered your heart. Even if on tiptoe.

You fall asleep immediately on one of those chairs in that makeshift hospital. You dream of being in Joel's arms again, you dream of dancing to Pearl Jam in his living room, you smile at each other and he has such a warm smile. How stupid and sometimes so trivial dreams are, but how comforting they can be!

You wake up with a start hearing a distant insistent noise coming from a monitor, you barely have time to sit up when you see a doctor and two nurses surrounding Joel. The monitor says there is no heartbeat, you jump up placing your palms against the glass, as you see the doctor performing cardiac massage and injecting him something. That noise from the monitor almost seems to pierce your ears.

Fuck.

No, Joel.

Please, fight.

Don't give up, you find yourself praying.

You don't know what drug they injected, you just see the doctor shaking his head and looking first at Joel and then at the monitor. You see him shake his head again.

No.

No, please, don't give up.

Please.

NEXT CHAPTER ➢

[cloveroctobers]

BODE LEONE — Spring Writings 🩵

A/N: Happy Fire Country Friday! It’s just me feeding the ghost town of a tag that was inspired by that last episode with a side of drama or triggers—i try my best to make spring writings more fluff based which you will get somewhere here. I want to say this takes place a year or two after this current season idk whatever makes sense lol. I know timelines are kinda confusing for this show so feel how you feel!

WARNINGS: strained parent and child relationship, established relationships, infidelity of other characters, mentions of abuse to minors, alluding to s*ic**e, PTSD, blood, lots of descriptions that I should be employed as a screenwriter for the show with the amount of detail I give but we can just pretend, also I’m assuming that Bode and Riley were at least two to three years apart whereas him and Jake are the same age? I think that’s about it enough!

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 9. Our first dinner party & “god you’re bleeding! how the hell did you do that?” “i was trying to cut the tomatoes!”

⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀

“God you’re bleeding! How the hell did you do that?” Bode’s voice booms off the “almost oyster,” kitchen walls, making you zone back in to the fact that your middle knuckle and tip of your thumb happened to be oozing red all over the makeshift counter and cutting board.

He’s scrambling around the kitchen, snatching a rag from underneath the sink to wrap around your two fingers awkwardly. Applying pressure, which you hiss at, you meet Bode’s concerned blue-green eyes to see that he’s waiting for an answer.

You sigh, “I was trying to cut the tomatoes!”

Bode keeps his hands securely over yours and barely glances at the work you started on along with your phone that keeps silently lighting up. He blinks his attention back to you, sensing that you were disconnecting and was not entirely sure why. It was your idea to have your first dinner party after he moved in with you at the high rise out in Hillford, which was thirty minutes west of Edgewater.

“I see that,” he starts, “you don’t even like tomatoes, so I’m not sure why that’s on the menu for tonight?”

Closing your eyes for a moment you lift your shoulders nonchantly, “your mom loves a good Mediterranean salad, so I thought why not give it a go?”

Bode snorts, “my mom wouldn’t know the difference if it was store bought.”

His mom was a decent cook but she hardly had the patience to keep up with it. Majority of the time Bode’s dad was the one to throw down thanks to his own mother and grandmother forcing him to learn. Sharon loved to eat and sample so she wouldn’t be too judgmental…unless she ended up with food poisoning then you’d never hear the end of it!

“Vince would depending on what it is.” You peer at him underneath your eyelashes while Bode breathed out a laugh, figuring that you were most likely right. Mr. Leone may seem like a go with the flow kind of guy but one thing about the Leone’s? They loved to eat and if the food wasn’t cutting it then some words would be said.

Bode hoped the idea of his parents being here tonight didn’t make you nervous. It wasn’t your first time having a meal with them and one thing Bode knew about his parents is that they rarely held back. They liked you and they wanted to see him rebuild his life after being released. They were just happy that Bode was finally able to do that but after that text you just received…you weren’t so sure if that would remain true.

Bode gently lifts the rag from your fingers, “the bleeding from your thumb seems to be slowing down but that knuckle might need some stitches.” He announces before raising your hand back above your heart.

Feeling a wave of frustration fly over your being once more, made you want to lay face first on the kitchen floor—if it was sanitary. Hey you kept a clean house, otherwise you wouldn’t be having any family over! You were a bit of germaphobe and tried to ignore the itch of your brain to get to cleaning the mess you left on the wooden table turned island, that you got from a antique store two years ago.

“Hey,” Bode grips you even tighter, prepared to handle the deadweight if you decided to just drop to the floor, “what’s wrong?”

This was more than just you losing blood.

Opening your eyes you move your body around to slump against Bode, who didn’t hesitate to rest his cheek against the back of your head, “Sharon invited my mom and Manny, which is okay, I guess! Then my mom invited Gabriela! Which automatically makes what’s his face, the fiancé, her plus one while also extending it to Eve who invited Jake.”

The mumbling from you was a bit difficult for Bode to grasp but he listened intently anyways to get the gist of it all. There were many things wrong with this and he was tempted to call his mother up right now—despite knowing she had no ill intentions. Sharon seemed to get a kick out of your mom (which only meant trouble) who was casually dating Manny and you already knew your mother was solely the one to drag Gabriela into this. You’ve known the Perez’ since what felt like forever, way back in San Diego where you and Gabriela both attended school and actually became friends due to being in the same friend groups. You both tried out for the swim team, Gabriela made it and you excelled better at gymnastics.

She had the dream of being in the Olympics while you were being shot up with steroids from your coach to be the next star of the team. There was Lilavati Sharma who was the face of the team and carried herself with such grace despite the pressure to always be the best. She was sweet with all the girls and guys on the team and was genuinely likeable. The coach favored her just a little too much to the point she was here and then in the next she wasn’t.

Her father pulled her away from the team and gave the coach a nice shiner to the face that took weeks to heal. That only made the coach train you harder until you broke your collar bone, becoming the biggest disappointment until the truth of your coach came to light after the unexpected death of Lilavati.

That’s when you learned, maybe second best wasn’t so bad after all but that didn’t mean your trauma needed to be diminished as well. You hurt for Lilavati more than you did for yourself and it took years for you to understand why that was.

The universe seemed to have it written in stone that you and Gabriela were meant to be in each other’s lives. Yes you were older now compared to high school but it was safe to say that the both of you have fallen out long before. There always seemd to be some sort of connect with your mother and Manny. They were both once married and Manny’s been raising Gabriela all on his own for as long as you could remember. You recalled the conversations Gabriela would have about the gap she had in her life because of her mother’s absence and how lucky you were to have your parents.

Well…your mother’s been cheating on your father since you were a kid and basically bullied you not to tell your father about it once you were a bit older. Although he’s always known, he hated that she put you in that position after realizing that you’ve known. By the time leaving for college came around, your dad was moving from San Diego to Northern California far out to Edgewater; after serving your mother divorce papers who gave him such a hard time on signing them. She even followed him all the way out there after putting the house up for sale a month before your graduation.

Going back and forth to court was a common thing between them along with a restraining order being filed and lengthy phone calls from your mouthy mother filled your head while studying for finals. So yes your upbringing was as peachy as everyone thought.

Bringing it back to present time, your father was remarried and seemed to be thriving with his new aeronautical engineer of a husband, that you had to cat-sit every time they left the country to explore the world. Your father’s always been open about his sexuality and made you comfortable (considering he was a psychologist) if you ever questioned anything of your own personal experiences. You were one of the rare cases where you always had crushes and flirted once it felt like those crushes also showed interest but…it never amounted out into much.

You never had a significant other until you reached college. Let’s just say, you didn’t marry your college sweetheart. That wasn’t your story. The idea of love that you had wasn’t the brightest although it’s something you always wanted to have, it was just hard to truly receive it. And here you were with a man that always fought through so much in life that also wanted to give love and be loved in return.

“So the gang is all coming basically?” Bode used one hand to gently rub your back, “we could just cancel. It was supposed to just be with my parents…although I don’t mind Manny and your mom tagging along but…inviting everyone else to our place without talking to us about it…is crossing boundaries. How’d you find out?”

It still felt odd for Bode to call this waterfront townhouse his as well but you constantly reassured him that he was open to doing anything that made him feel like the home was his too. For one contributing to the HOA fees was a good start (after fighting a lengthy battle with the court to get EMT training and finally getting a spot on CalFire as stable income was a long time coming). Pre-Prison Bode had jobs before—some that he’s walked out on—but being with CalFire gave him purpose with a smidge of financial freedom. He was able to spend money on things that mattered like annoying adult stuff, a creepy ornamental two piece banana sculpture that he installed on the wall of the breakfast room (a small separate area from the dining room), and you.

“Mom texted.” You huffed, “and I’m trying to get better at not blowing up on her but when she does things like this? It makes it so hard.”

It took a lot for you to stand up to your mother since you tended to hold everything in. Over the years it’s been a build up and she’s apologized various of times but it started to fall on empty ears when she continued to repeat her same patterns.

Bode hated that your mother caused you such anxiety. He’s cupping your face now, gently placing his forehead against yours, “what do you want to do? I’ll call mom and yours up right now if it’s too much? We can have dinner ourselves, just us two and see if there’s any new streams on that movie you’ve been telling me about.”

You send him a small smile, cherishing that, “the kebabs are already done along with half of the other food. We can’t eat all of this ourselves.”

Bode peeks over at the covered food on the rest of the counters then back to you with a smirk of a smile, “want to bet?”

“Bode!”

“What? I can eat and I’ve been dying to try a kebab since you slapped my hand with a Spatula an hour ago.” He playfully glares at you, “I needed a snack.”

“There’s always crackers.”

Bode furrows his brows, “…I thought you loved me but I think you’re trying to starve me. What is this? Three rock?”

You laughed, “well at least one of us has an appetite and I just want to get through this night and enjoy the company of what I thought would just be with Sharon and Vince.”

Bode nods his head, “we still have time if you change your mind so, I’ll give you until after I’ve cleaned you up.”

“I love that you already know that I want you to do my stitches.”

Bode slides an arm across your hips to guide you out of the kitchen, “of course I know my baby. You nearly collapse every time you see prices in the grocery store when we’re out so I can only imagine what the bill from urgent care would look like. Lucky for you, you have a certified first responder as a boyfriend.”

He’s careful with you as he guides you up the narrow creaky stairs to the second floor to the main bathroom and you’re reminded this is the love you deserve.

You’re seated on the toilet while Bode is making a mess—like he commonly does—searching for what he needs. His hands are large and quick as they work the needle through the thread before setting it aside. He turns back to you, moving your hands from the pressure you’re applying against the rag, before motioning for you to keep it on the knuckle while he cleans, applies antibiotics and bandages your thumb first.

Bode kisses your thumb over the bandage, “how are we doing? Feeling faint? Do you need water? I probably should have asked before we came up here.”

“I’m fine.” You smile softly at him as he grabs a stool to sit down on as it’ll take him longer to work on your knuckle, “thanks for checking.”

He hums in response, “want to talk about work as a distraction?”

Blood didnt really bother you but you did cringe at the thought of needles. You can go ahead and write down PTSD note takers! You were an application security specialist, yes a true nerd, and also damn good at your stressful but fulfilling job but it was the weekend so that was a negative.

You redirect the conversation, “I’d like to draw you your next tattoo.”

Did you have artistic abilities like Bode? Let’s just say you were more of a data person while also being pretty athletic—although gymnastics was somewhat history you still found yourself stretching and working out to be crucial to your health routine—you had your own taste.

“Yeah?” Bode asks as he gets to work, “are you telling me you don’t like the two I already have?”

You shake your head, “sure I do. They have their own significant stories, which I’d never change and I have ideas if that artist brain of yours craves for more ink.”

“Appreciate that…so what’s on your mind?”

You deeply inhale as you feel the needle piercing your skin but talk through it, “you’re surprisingly into some odd art and I’ve been looking at vintage Halloween art that my co-worker is obsessed with and thought, why not create a wizard frog with a pointy star hat, wand and everything?”

“A wizard frog?” There’s a teasing tone in Bode’s voice while he pictures it as he pulls tight before going back to your skin while you hold your breath, “Magic’s not really my thing especially since I told you about my dad having me watch that one weird movie with Anthony Hopkins. Riley on the other hand? Could sit up for hours watching that horror crap with my dad…although she always ended up in my room, stealing my covers while talking away as I tried to sleep. As her big brother I dealt with it if that meant keeping her nightmares away, although I regretted it in the morning.”

The both of you share a laugh at this.

What you knew of Riley was that her and Bode were sorta opposites. She had the kindest big round blue eyes, was friendly and open to having conversations with strangers whereas Bode was more reserved before he felt comfortable enough to approach. Apparently she was soft spoken yet determined, into the well-being of animals that she planned to be a vegetarian once she was older, liked magic tricks and horror movies but only if that meant she got more time to bond with Vince that is. She seemed to have a heart on her sleeve and probably would have been a veterinarian if she lived past sixteen.

“Just big brother duties.” You inhale air between your teeth, “and I think she would like my wizard frog idea.”

“Yeah…I can see you two plotting against me.” Bode smiles over at you before giving one last tug before snooping off the excess thread, “all set.”

Before he can even move to start cleaning up, you throw your arms across his shoulders and give him a squeeze. Bode pauses but buried his nose against your fuzzy cardigan before rubbing your back against your embrace once more.

“What’s this for?”

You say, “just because I love you and I’m happy to have you here with me, which I know I probably don’t say enough since words of affirmation is more your thing than mine but I stand by this. I look forward to many more days with you, good and challenging.”

Bode feels his body go warm at your words and pulls back to meet your eyes. “I can’t wait and I love you too, softie.”

You roll your eyes as he chuckles at you while you scratch at his facial hair.

“…You’ll think about the wizard frog?”

Bode sighs with a small smile on his lips, “If it makes you happy, love.”

“Cop out answer!” You flick his broad shoulder with your good hand.

“How?” Bode lifts his shoulders in confusion.

You crinkle your nose in annoyance, “You can’t ever say what I want to hear and make me think I’m always the winner, fight back.”

“Okay…I’ll remember that when I don’t want to watch the traitors uk with you.” Bode holds your stare while you gasp with a hand to your chest and then nod your head, mentally saying that was fair game.

Bode can already tell what you’re thinking, which makes him grin at you before leaning forward to cautiously peck your lips. You humph before slowly pushing yourself to get to your feet and steady yourself.

Bode’s hands are immediately on your hips as you balance yourself and you give him a nod in reassurance before leaning forward. You connect your lips again, his beard tickling your face as you breathe him in. He smells sweet like amber, fresh but calming like cypress, and warm sandalwood and you feel like you could just sink into him endlessly but manage to pull away.

“You sure you don’t want to cancel? We could do more of that and I wouldn’t mind.” Bode squeezes your hips with a lick of his own lips.

You pull from his grip, “that’s what Sunday is for, a day with no plans! Now let’s go, chop chop! We have a dinner to finish.”

And you’re out of the bathroom before Bode can even blink. He’s shaking his head at you and calls out, “fine. Don’t touch any more knives though!”

Once putting everything back where it belongs, he stares at his reflection in the mirror. He’s not entirely thrilled to have Jake here, since they were attempting to get back to where they once were but Bode wasn’t holding his breath since he felt like Jake was trying to live what could have been his when it came to Genevieve. It took time for him to accept what happened when they were teenagers meaning with Riley but since he’s been locked up? It felt like it was one thing after the next even in his freedom. Then there was Gabriela…which you had your own issue with although you tried to downplay it and there was a smidge of a history that Bode had with her that probably didn’t help…

He just hopes this dinner isn’t a true disaster for both of your sakes but at least he could have the task of throwing someone out…if it came to that of course.

That wasn’t what brought a smile to his face, it was the thought of hosting something that he could call his own with the person he wanted to spend countless days with.

You.

⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀

[buckysxbarnes]

Choice

hihi!! i'm posting my first bucky fic hehe

apologies if things aren’t canonically accurate - this is the first time i’ve written anything to do with bucky so things may be slightly off. if you guys feel like anything is out of character just lmk and i’ll correct it for next time!

idk if i like this lol, idk if it even makes any sense oops

this is my first fanfic in about 5 years, so pls be kind hahah! constructive criticism is so welcome tho. i hope you all enjoy!

words: 1.8k

bucky meets someone that he thinks he could love, but struggles to believe that he is allowed to be loved again

tfatws!bucky x barista!reader

content/warnings: hydra mentions, fluff, angst, bucky is a soft fool, is there a happy ending?? read and you will see hehe, very descriptive, no dialogue

Going out wasn’t Bucky’s thing. 

Sure, back in the 40s, before HYDRA, before he became the Winter Soldier, before life as a normal man was so cruelly taken from him, he enjoyed a dance or two, but never anything crazy. The times he did go out were mainly just futile attempts to get Steve to become more confident in himself - trying to break him out of his shell. In all honesty, Bucky thought it was all a bit silly, although he managed to take pleasure in the silliness when he had his best friend by his side, listening to his favourite music at the time. 

He didn’t enjoy it now though. He hated it, despised the idea of going out and having fun. Not that he thought he deserved to have fun anyway. Too much had happened, too much had changed. Steve was gone and the music wasn’t the same.

With all that being said, there was a brief period of time post HYDRA, post the blip, where the ice that surrounded the super soldier's heart had started to melt. He’d been frozen and thawed out so many times in the past that he never kept a tally, the reason why he was so old on the inside but outwardly resembled the body and face of a man in his late thirties.

Frozen.

Thawed.

Frozen.

Thawed.

But the frost around his heart was something only the heat from within could melt, something he was painfully aware of. He couldn’t remember what it was like to be warm, the bitter chill of ice haunting him in every waking moment. However, the chill had started to subside, the ice softening.

And it was all because of you. 

////////////////

You weren’t anything important, or at least that’s what you thought about yourself. A barista in a coffee shop wasn’t much to shout about but hey, it was helping you through college which was the main thing. Working Mondays through Saturdays from 4:30pm until close meant that a lot of people passed through the shop, but you got to know your regulars pretty well. So when a stoic-looking guy with a metal arm walked in at 5:32pm on a random Thursday just over a year ago, you thought nothing of it. 

Of course, you knew exactly who he was - how could you not? He was famous… infamous? Whichever way you wanted to look at it, people knew who he was, and you weren’t an exception to that. You didn’t bring it up though when you served him. Why would you? It wasn’t any of your business, besides, you knew he wouldn’t appreciate it. He seemed quiet, reserved, almost shy to an extent, although you couldn’t really tell from his facial expression (or lack thereof). His order was simple, a black coffee, nothing more. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t intrigued by the man, curiosity almost getting the better of you when he came back a third, a fourth time in the space of a week - at exactly the same time, ordering exactly the same thing. But you never said anything, instead silently watching him while he sat and stared out of the shop window.

Bucky could feel your eyes burning into the side of his head, he wasn’t an idiot, he knew you knew who he was and wanted to ask him questions. He appreciated that you didn’t pry though, he found himself relishing the small talk you both participated in every time he came by. You only spoke about relatively mundane things, the weather, how busy the day had been, how quickly days were flying by; things that any other regular person would see as run-of-the-mill, but not to Bucky. He’d been starved of normalcy for so, so painfully long that small interactions with you made his day (he’d be damned if he ever admitted that to anyone - even you), the reason he kept coming back multiple times a week.

Eventually, you got to know the super soldier pretty well, meeting him outside of work whenever you were both free at the same time, but it wasn’t easy. You still hadn’t asked any of the questions you wanted to ask about his past, whenever the topic of conversation hinted at veering towards something even slightly related to anything he’d been through, Bucky would shut down immediately and drastically change the subject. It didn’t matter to you though, spending time with him in silence was enough. You spoke about mostly anything and everything with him, and you particularly enjoyed telling him stories that you thought he’d find interesting after your nights out in the city - the soft gleam in his eyes was enough to tell you that he enjoyed hearing about them, even if he never said it directly to you.

You’d grown very fond of him over the past year; finding yourself yearning to spend as much time with him as possible, growing concerned when he didn’t swing by the coffee shop at his normal time, wishing that he’d touch you for longer than a whisper, smile at you longer than a blink, laugh with you for longer than a second. There were nights when you couldn’t sleep, for the thought of Bucky was enough to have your head spinning, your heart racing, your mind conjuring up scenarios of you two both together in domestic heaven. You weren’t sure what was worse, the fact that you’d seemingly fallen for an ex-assassin, or the constant wondering about whether he felt the same way for you as you did for him.

Of course Bucky felt the same about you as you did for him. He wasn’t a monster, as much as people made him out to be. He could feel, and God could he feel. He felt everything, too much, too soon, all the time. He could most certainly feel. He just didn’t want to. Over the years, everything had been taken from him in the cruelest of ways: Steve, life as he knew it, his family, his friends and not to mention his goddamn arm. The soldier knew he liked you, liked spending time with you, appreciated the way you never judged him for what ‘he’d’ done in the past, the way you treated him so gently, as if he was made of porcelain - which could shatter under the lightest of touches - and not an engineered killing machine, built to obey orders.

The soldier knew he liked you, which is why he did his best to stop feeling that way. The fewer people he cared about, the less leverage people had over him - the less he had to lose. There was a part of Bucky that was urging him to accept the kindness for once, to give himself a break, to let himself be loved, to let himself love. Oh and he fought, he fought tooth and nail, fought harder than maybe he has ever done in his life, with his own mind. The agonising realisation that you were the only person he’d truly be able to give himself to, found after years of subconsciously searching for someone who he felt like he could love, battling with the trauma and scars that the past had left all over his body and psyche. The soldier laid awake night after night, barely managing enough sleep to keep him going, trying to determine which path to take, what decision to choose.

Choice.

Choice was something Bucky still wasn’t used to. For so long, all he did was follow, follow, follow. Choice was a luxury he didn’t get to have. But now he had it, and he hated it. He was petrified of making the wrong decision, fucking this all up. He chose to come into your coffee shop, he’d seen you through the window and was intrigued, wanting a closer look at you. He chose to keep coming back, day after day. He chose to start seeing you outside of the shop. He thought he was brave enough to let himself love, to let himself be loved again, to have something to lose, to have something to be proud of.

But he wasn’t. 

You’d melted some of the ice around his heart, warmth now starting to seep through his veins instead of being a memory buried at the back of his brain.

You’d melted some of the ice around his heart, but it felt weird, unnatural and undeserving. Bucky had told himself that he didn’t deserve love, didn’t deserve forgiveness, didn’t deserve you - and that was a decision he so selfishly made for you. He had gotten so used to not having a choice that he’d ripped your choice away from you, justifying it by telling himself that you deserved so much more than him, even though you wanted him more than you wanted life itself.

And that’s why he purposefully stood outside the main window of your cafe (that he knew you always looked out of, watching and waiting for him to walk into the shop) on a quiet Thursday evening at 5:32pm, kissing a random girl that he had pulled off of the street who had agreed to take part in this stupid little plan of his. This was the only way that he thought he’d be able to distance himself from you - it wasn’t that he wanted to hurt you, he just wanted you to hate him. Bucky wanted you to hate him so he felt like he didn’t have to explicitly make the choice about whether to let himself love you or not. It was ridiculous of course, he’d chosen to stay alone, he’d chosen to stay frozen. He just didn’t have the heart to tell you.

He couldn’t.

So instead, he justified it by telling himself that even though he’d kissed another girl right in front of you, you were still the one who chose to want nothing to do with him in the end. 

It didn’t make sense. But then again, neither did Bucky.

//////////////

So, going out wasn’t Bucky’s thing.

He hated it. 

But every Saturday night, without fail, he’d roam the bars and clubs of the city, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of you, out with your friends, having fun. The fun that he didn’t feel like he would ever deserve to have again. He remembered the stories of your nights out that you’d tell him every week, things you’d get up to, the laughs that you shared.

Sure, he could just come to the coffee shop again, he knew your schedule like the back of his hand after all, he just didn’t want you to see him. He wanted to see you, but he didn’t want you to see him. Although yes, he was the one that shut any avenue of a deeper, more meaningful relationship off in quite a brutal fashion, it didn’t mean that he still wasn’t obsessed with you.

He just didn’t want the world to punish him again for loving.

[temporallloop]

ultimately people can do whatever they want and i can't stop them. it's fine. but it feels really... REALLY weird and tonally inappropriate and honestly uncomfortable at points to see Happy Ending Au/similar art for Mouthwashing of all games. i feel like if you're the kind of person that dislikes tragedy or games with unhappy endings or god forbid characters that are Bad People, then you shouldn't... get into mouthwashing. or at the very least, you shouldn't get into it and be disappointed when some of the characters are Bad People and there's an unhappy ending.

i don't know. liking fluff isn't bad obviously but if you can't engage with "game that outright states in the description that God Isn't Watching and the content warnings include Intense Gore" without going "i just really wish that there was a happy end where everyone got along, it would make the game so much better!" then i think. maybe you should. stick to other games. this is mostly referring to serious 100% genuine "aaaand jimmy [disappeared/was never on the ship/was gone/etc] and nothing bad ever ever happened! and everyone was beeeeest friends :D" art, because it honestly at that point it just feels like the themes of the game went over some peoples heads! there isn't a happy ending! not under the system they live in! not with the positions they've been forced into, work-wise and morals-wise! there can't be! and i think a lot of people are just ignoring that and ignoring everything that actually HAPPENS in the game, in favor of shipping or fluff or What If It All Worked Out Happily art/writing. and it's just really uncomfortable at some points.

[cryptidcorners]

Mike Schmidt x Reader Headcanons

= Character: Mike Schmidt

= Media: Movie!Five Nights At Freddie's

= Prompt: N/A

= Description: You and Mike had been dating for several months, which not many knew due to his wishes for privacy. Mike was a shy character, and you didn't expect to wake up in his arms now and then. You had known each other for years, and unlike your past partners, you finally found someone who truly understood you.

= Request: N/A

= Tags: Comfort, Fluff, Slight Angst? Romance, Headcanons, Established Relationship, just Sweet Stuff ! + Reader is Gender Neutral

= Warnings: Mentions of Childhood Trauma & Kidnapping, Mike is incredibly Stressed and Depressed From Work, Nightmares ! + FNAF Movie Spoilers

Despite his fluctuating work-life and raising his sister all on his own, he makes sure to engage with you as much as possible. While Mike can't afford to take you on dates, he spoils you at home and gives you the strongest hospitality anyone can offer. His highlights are hearing about your day, rambling about your interests. He barely thinks about talking about himself (let's be honest, you're all Mike thinks about).

He'd definitely not understand the lore you're fixated on sometimes, but he'll listen regardless.

Painfully shy around you. He gets nervous even asking you for a hug or kiss. Mike hesitates to hold your hand in public or share romantic gestures in fear you'll be disgusted by his lack of experience for affection. He's always delighted (and relieved) when you melt at the feel of his touch.

Cuddling! God, he loves it. His pills do help him sleep, but you help him relax. Mike prefers spooning you, his arms wrapped around your body is something magical, at least to him. He sleeps much better with you.

Anytime Mike flashes away from his nightmares, it helps him dramatically to wake up to you backed up against his chest. Sometimes he'd lazily wake up, desperate for some type of comfort. A lot of mornings were encouragement and warm hugs, which was more than another for both of you.

Mike is very clingy. Due to his trauma of Garett being kidnapped at a young age, he gets incredibly worried when you're gone for too long, especially if you're late.

So damn awkward when he's meeting and/or visiting people you know. Mike cannot socialize with anybody for the life of him. He doesn't bother telling you though. As long as you're enjoying yourself, he'll bare whatever is bothering him if it means seeing you this way.

Very protective. If he ever sees anybody making you uncomfortable (or if he even thinks so) Mike goes ballistic. Sometimes restoring to violence depending on how severe it is. He definitely feels bad afterwards, especially due to embarrassing you like that.

Will intentionally wear shirts/sweaters you like. Mike craves your validation, and loves the feeling of you complimenting him. (Give him a hug, please!) + Gets weak when you fix his tie or adjust his shirt collars.

Marking! Marking! Marking! (Giving + Receiving), I definitely see Mike giggling as he's kissing you or being kissed. His laugh is definitely infectious, and charming to see.

Loves it when you play with his hair, especially when you're cuddling. Slipping your fingers through his curls drives him crazy and makes him melt.

Mike definitely loves pet names, but I imagine he'd love your name much more. He holds it as stronger than any title ever. For him, personally he'd take whatever you call him, Mike is sweet like that.

You cannot tell me that you playing/interacting with Abby destroys his heart (in a good way). Seeing you as a parental figure to her makes him so happy, I bet he cries in joy thinking about it.

Sometimes he's so stressed from work to the point he'll fall into your arms for comfort in an attempt to channel his internal hardships.

Mike is definitely the sweetest kisser ever, not very experienced but he still gives you butterflies. Will hold you every time you kiss, making you feel secure every time. Even if it's a light peck, his hands will either be wrapped around your back, briefly caressing your sides or tight on your shoulders.

Speaking of kisses, he 100% gets lightheaded after them and giggles like a teenager after.

Uses his puppy-dog eyes a lot, even without realizing it.

Says "please" + "sorry" way too much. Absolute sweetheart.

Wears those goofy aprons when he cooks, he doesn't know you think it's cute/funny. Mike likes them way too much.

Hates public areas so much, prefers peaceful walks where it's quiet. Loud noises stresses him out.

Mike cannot tell sarcasm, info dumps or complicated jokes. He'd either just tilt his head in confusion or giggle in an attempt to make it look he understood.

Feels so guilty when you give him money or gifts and he can't repay it. Mike is a giver !

Such a comforter, he'll always listen to you vent, even if he's dead tired from his job. Bet Mike would hold you tightly, telling you everything will be okay.

Mike is pretty private about his feelings, especially his trauma. He's more focused on you on anything !

Loves you more than anything, would 100% run across a haunted pizzeria fatally injured for you in a heartbeat.

[riverphoenixsgothwife]

lawlight fic rec list

so i’m gonna do a series of these, starting with my favorite death note ship! make sure to pay attention to all warnings on these fics. enjoy! if you have a ship you’d like me to make a rec list for, please just send me an ask! i don’t want to be obnoxious, and i’m not saying they’re good, but i (slackjawbitch on ao3) have some lawlight fics up!

♡ = a favorite of kitty’s

angst

♡ 1. i’m drowning; please save me: L looks at Yagami Light and drowns. There is no other way to put it. As the days pass and blend into weeks, L looks at Yagami Light sitting next to him, the harsh lines of his face creased and determined, and he swallows water.

L looks at Yagami Light and he cannot breathe.

great characterization, always makes me very emo, and is probably a pretty major influence on my writing. one shot. 1,817 words.

2. always waiting for you just to cut to the bone: And then, breaking through the pounding in his head he hears what would be the last words out of that wretched man’s lips.

“I love you.”

fic for teh death note drama (2016) canon! title is unfortunately from a t*ylor sw*ft song (/silly) but this fic is so good and sad.

3. Our Bodies, Possessed By Light: L. Lawliet is a gifted photographer who believes he has understood the light and its secrets. Light Yagami is a young, unstable and slightly crooked model. Together, they kill time.

modeling and photography au. make sure to read all teh tags and warnings for this one; there’s nothing gross, but some potentially triggering subjects for some people are in here. multi chapter. 81,218 words.

4. Hearts and Spades: Which would you choose? Love or death? RaitoL, slight AU.

short but sweet piece featuring that classic fanfiction dot net era vibe, an emo-ass playing card metaphor (/pos), and a recounting of l’s death scene that made me sad over him all over again (also /pos). and also light being obnoxious, but it’s death note, so that’s usually a given, lol. one shot. 1,801 words.

5. Not Quite Drowning: Sometimes Light ponders happiness. L/Light

a short lawlight and light character study. i like it a lot, and i don’t usually like light, so that should tell you something about how well i think it’s written! one shot. 424 words.

♡ 6. Water, water, water: In the bath, they forget they’re a detective and a suspect; they remove these identities along with their clothes, layer by layer until there are only the handcuffs left. And them; facing the other in the eerie calmness of their bathroom.

At least, it’s how Light sees it.

i really love this one! make sure to read teh tags, as eating disorders and drugs are mentioned, for example. angst with a happy ending! one shot. 3,504 words.

fluff

1. Silver Bells: Silver bells...silver bells...

They’ve made it. Everything is okay now, when they’re dancing in the candlelight.

really, really cute! i recommend it as a palate cleanser to make you feel better after reading a sad one, lol. one shot. 1,255 words.

♡ 2. New Year’s Eve: "I've seen fireworks before," he says. "This is... so much... more."

just a cute little new year’s eve lawlight fireworks show! this one is also from 2009 which is kinda cool to me, haha. i like this author’s descriptive language a lot. one shot. 507 words.

♡ 3. Do Gay Penguins Go to Hell?: Too many New Year snacks bring about a family discussion between L, Raito and their daughter about healthy diet, common sayings and nature of good and evil. And gay penguins, of course. AU

a really darling kid fic, based on teh stupid, homophobic controversy over that adorable kids’ book about teh gay penguin couple. one shot. 3,791 words.

4. A Feeling: It's LxLight fluff! This takes place after Light was confined and lost his memories, chained to L. : D SO YUS. SOME FLUFF FOR YAH D: Hope you leik it :D

very cute “l and light cuddle and kiss” fic, written by a scene kid in 2008, which is extra points with me! one shot. 1,006 words.

alright! i will add to this rec list as i find more fics, and i would love it if people would send in their favorite lawlight fics!

[physalian]

On Describing Rooms (Or Transitional Settings)

Oh the dilemma of how much detail to give a space your characters won’t stay in for very long, but will be in long enough that grounding the area in context is necessary. Spending whole paragraphs coming up with intricate detail about the layout and the decorations of a space is better spent on more trafficked areas by the plot—kind of like designing physical sets for TV and film. You don't want to exahust your creativity budget on setting fodder.

There’s a whole lot of divisiveness already on how much or how little detail to give when describing any one thing. I’ve made it clear that I like lean narratives that don’t wax poetic on the fluff that isn’t necessary for the moment, but there’s a place and an audience for stories that do.

However, transitional/transitory settings, like the inside of a train or vehicle or a motel room they might only spend one scene in, somebody’s office, the school bathroom, etc—these have a stronger argument for being lean.

And at least for me, I like to give them the “vibes” of what I’m seeing in my head, without going overboard. But context and familiarity are important, and details like this are a lot like adverbs: Don’t waste time describing what everybody already knows, if you’re going to give details, they have to matter.

Like, if I my characters are on a bus, I’m not going to also tell you that it has seats and windows and a center aisle and those hand-loopy thingies and a dashboard. By nature of it being a bus, these things are presumed to be included. If this bus happens to be missing any of those presumed details, then I would tell you. Like if it’s been abandoned and the seats scavenged for some other purpose, or it burned up and there’s nothing left unscathed of the interior.

But I might tell you about how the fabric of the seats looks like the carpet of a roller rink, or how some kid’s gummy fingerprints are all over the windows next to the MC’s seat, or how there’s cheese-it crumbs in the grooves of the main walkway, or somebody left a tabloid magazine in the back pocket of the seat in front of them.

These details also don’t technically “matter,” but they give you vibes. It’s a dingy bus, a city bus, one the character probably isn’t happy to be on. It starts to feel more real when you can give random but realistic details for your narrator to notice.

Then it’s not just a bus, it’s this specific bus that only exists in this story.

Even if this is a repeat setting that appears in more than one scene, but is still a temporary setting—like a motel room the characters are spending one night in, but a fair chunk of book pages are spent detailing that one night, you don’t have to throw every little bit of information about the room at the readers all at once—and the same goes with character descriptions. Give details as they become relevant.

Like, here’s a paragraph I wrote:

Onna gave Elias Dorian’s usual room, the nice one in the corner with the little metal fireplace and shark jaws hanging like windchimes from the ceiling. The low-lying bed is little more than furs over woven kelp mats on a metal rack, ones he’d hauled straight from Tanarang.

To this narrator, Dorian, it’s a room he’s familiar with, so he’s not going to go overboard with details that he doesn’t think matters, but he will describe things that he doesn’t have at home, like the decorations and the fireplace, and details that are significant to him, like the kelp mats.

Elias, on the other hand, might take a bit longer when it’s his POV to describe things that he’s noticing, that Dorian wouldn’t. Things like the room’s wooden floor, when he’s used to stone, or actually having a window that opens, or how fragile and old everything looks.

No matter what, I’m trying to still tie these expository details back to how they reflect on the narrator giving them, so they feel less like exposition and more like just part of the story.

[theharrowing]

White Lies

Yoongi is everything you could ask for. He is attractive, confident, and smart. And his partner Taehyung is as possessive as he is beautiful. Too bad a relationship would be a major conflict of interest.

You need to have them, at all costs.

🤍 Yoongi x Female Reader x Taehyung

🤍 word count: work in progress (currently 19.1k words) + images of social media posts & text conversations

🤍 college au, partial social media au with a lot of written story, strangers to lovers & established relationship, yandere, hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, angst, slash, poly, minor character injury & death, graphic violence, nsfw, 21+.

🤍 warnings: 🕊 dead dove 🕊. toxic relationships (dishonesty, jealousy, yandere behavior); smut (masturbation); ACAB includes our MC & Seokjin sorry you found out this way; corrupt policing. more specific warnings coming soon, pending the release of each chapter.

🤍 part 2 of the Rose-Tinted Obsessions series

🤍 this is a sequel to Boy Blue! i highly recommend that you start at the beginning to fully understand the the dynamic & history between Yoongi & Taehyung. there will be a lot of references to Boy Blue; this fic will spoil the shit out of it. this includes some major character deaths!!! this MC/reader character is not the same MC/reader character from Boy Blue.

🤍 note: all detective work and cop jargon in this fic is either made up on the spot or comes from years of watching/listening to true crime media. i have no credentials in this field and i do not claim to know what i am talking about. for the sake of simplicity & also my sanity, all dialogue that is written and spoken is going to be in English. characters are from Korea and living/working in the US, and we can fill in the gaps between what language they are speaking in which context. also, although i try to keep the mc's physical description vague, i will refer to her as having curves and having hair that can be gripped onto. length and texture will be left vague. places mentioned are completely made up. i may be using actual city and neighborhood names to make it feel real, but every school, bar, etc. is fake and any similarities they have to real places is coincidence.

🤍 also note: this fic is going to be extremely contrived and dramatic, just like its predecessor was. we are not here for award winning story telling; think of it like a trashy daytime soap opera and a gore porn horror film had a baby. obviously, i do not condone the behaviors in this story; it is a work of fiction.

🤍 written parts beta read by @neoneunnajimin

🤍 check out the playlist!

🤍 posted nov. 2023 - present | read on ao3

INDEX

0: Introductions | 0 words + screencaps

1: Operation Boy Blue | 3k words + screencaps

— TaeGi POV: What the fuck is this??? | 0 words + screencaps

2: Sleep sweet, pretty | 7.5k words + screencaps

3: There you are | 9k words + screencaps

UPDATES ARE CURRENTLY SLOW!!!

i have been struggling with mental health stuff, grief stuff, and writer's block, and so i am going to lessen how many fics i juggle at once. hopefully updates won't be slow for too long. 💜

tag list: @aidam9911 @andrea613 @bangtan-tee-86 @ffion451 @fluffybuns69 @here4kpopfics @icedtaericano @iloverubberduckiez-blog @kiki-zb @lovemeforeternity @mgthecat @moonleeai @mother2monsters @neoneunnajimin @oceansmerchild @unsureofwhathappens 🤍 by asking to join this tag list, you are agreeing that you are at least 18 or older and that you are comfortable engaging in dead dove content. please tell me at any time if you would like to be removed and i will be happy to pull you off.

White Lies copyright 2023-2025 theharrowing, all rights reserved. No translations or reposts are allowed.

[tongueinatree]

on into the sun iii (Top Gun Maverick Fic)

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Mitchell!OC (eventual), Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x OC (eventual)

Fandoms: Top Gun, Top Gun 1986, Top Gun Maverick

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: fluff, no NSFW material, angst, heartbreak, death of a parent is mentioned and discussed in this chapter, legal age gap later on (3 years), not canon compliant. Profanity is used.

Description: Maia Mitchell's always loved the skies; the only thing to come close to that devotion is her love - first a preteen crush, later a deeper passion - for Bradley Bradshaw. Then Maverick's choice to delay Bradley's entrance into the navy damages their bond irreparably. Suddenly, Maia has to chart a path alone.

When a chance meeting sees her reconnect with Bradley after over a decade, her life's course alters yet again. This time, much like the skies when she flies, fate's in her hands. But moulding your fate isn't nearly as easy as flying. Will Maia and Bradley's burgeoning love find a way regardless?

Author's Note: Main character is afab and uses she/her pronouns. No use of second person ("you") or "Y/N" but the main character's appearance is not described besides her having long hair. Not beta read.

I have tried to be as accurate as possible regarding flight dynamics, the navy, and the locations in this fic, but may still have errors present. The timeline for this fic is meant to generally follow the established Top Gun timeline, but may not be totally faithful to canon.

Comments, reblogs and likes are welcome and appreciated!

All my work, including this fic, is copyright protected. You do not have permission to copy, repost or translate my work!

on into the sun iii – 2003: February 

Maia - 16 / Bradley - 19

Bradley’s a lot more prone to dramatics than Maia had first realised. Or maybe she’s the perfect trigger for his anxieties. It would explain why he’s held his breath the entire time she’s been flying. 

Then again, there’s also the fact that they’re in so, so much trouble. She’s nicked the Cherokee, you see, to take Bradley on an impromptu joyride. It’s the least she can do – she missed his graduation last summer, and then Christmas, and now his birthday. Dad’s pulled her out of school for a week or two so that they can catch up, since she hasn’t seen him for the past year. To Pete Mitchell’s consternation, though, his daughter’s been far more interested in hanging out with Bradley. It doesn’t help that Bradley’s been staying with Dad since graduating.  

Right now, though, they’re flying somewhat placidly, cruising above downtown San Diego, at 200 feet or so above the minimum height requirement. The winds are fortuitous and calm, and Maia’s flown at dusk before, so she doesn’t anticipate any problems. Plus, the view should be lovely for Bradley: iridescent twilight, a clear night, highways glimmering in the gloom just below his feet. Really, the only issue is that Maia’s a year below the required age for solo flight, and that her Dad’s likely going to ground her – literally – once they land. You’d think someone like Maverick would care less about his daughter’s impulsivity, or at least be proud of it, given how impulsive he himself is. But Dad’s about as protective of her and Mina as he is his planes. Parental love tempers even the freest of spirits, it seems.    

As for Bradley, he’s started flying more frequently nowadays, but if his constant cautioning is anything to go by, he doesn’t quite trust her behind the pilot’s controls. Maia can practically feel his stress enveloping her, reaching for her from the backseat, as he grumbles something about, “Mitchell madness.” 

Maia grins in spite of herself, “You alright back there, Brad?” 

Bradley groans, “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

“Happy Birthday buddy!”

Bradley laughs, but the sound is strangled, as if someone’s wrenched it free of his throat, “Should you even be talking right now? Focus!” 

Maia’s smile widens, “Sure, sure.”    

When a thunk sounds behind her, it’s loud enough for her to pick up on the noise through her headset. Now it’s Maia’s turn to scold, “Don’t put your forehead on the glass, Brad.” 

“I’m not doing that.” 

Her scolding tone morphs into one of fondness, “You’re so predictable.” 

“Hey, show some respect. I’m older than you.”

Maia lowers her voice, to mutter, “Not with those squeals you aren’t.”

Bradley’s forehead thunks again.

Maia asks, “Is the view at least worth it?” She knows it is, but he needs a distraction, lest he turn his forehead red.

“Yeah, it’s nice, I guess.” 

“You guess? I’m offended.” 

Bradley sighs, and the sound is so heavy that she knows exactly what he’s going to say, “I think my Mom would like this view. Not sure if she’d fly in a plane like this, but she’d like it.” 

Maia finds herself nodding somberly, “She definitely would.”

He sighs again, and she adds, “It’s okay to miss her.” 

Carole Bradshaw – or Aunt Carole, as Maia and Mina had always said – passed away a month before Bradley’s eighteenth birthday, last year. She was at the funeral, and it’s probably the saddest she’s ever felt. She can hardly fathom how Bradley must feel, and she’s tried not to bring up Carole at all. 

But then there’s what Mum and Dad both said – that if Bradley wants to talk about her, she shouldn’t interrupt him. “And don’t baby him either. Just listen,” Dad had added sternly.

So, she listens, but Bradley doesn’t say anything else. 

Maia chooses to focus on keeping their cruising steady, to relax into the feel of the control in her hand. 

Finally, Bradley says, quietly, “So, are you sure you don’t want to fly after all?” She knows he’s only asking as a means of distraction – they’ve discussed this before – but she humours him. “My mind hasn’t changed.” 

Maia’s as besotted with flying as she ever was, but as she’s gotten older, other passions have sprung up in the wake of her progress at school. She wants to study math and physics and build planes. Well, that’s the reason she’s giving (and she does like math and physics). But really… Dad looks haggard nowadays, and she knows it’s from his tours. He loves flying, he always will, but he’s very obviously running low on steam. She doesn’t like seeing it. She doesn’t much like war, either. So, no, no naval air force for her. 

Bradley sounds as disbelieving as he had when she’d first told him about her plans over email, “But are you sure?”

“Yeah.” 

Bradley sighs a third time, “Well. The navy’s loss is academia’s gain.” 

“Who taught you the word academia?” 

Bradley snorts, “Whatever.” 

Maia throws his question back at him, “So, the navy, huh? Are you sure?” 

Bradley’s voice is firm and brimming with conviction in response, “Absolutely. I haven’t been flying as long as you, but… there’s nothing else for me.”

“Hmm. Well, I still think it’s good you still applied to UVA and everywhere else. And that you obviously had a job to save up from up until now.”

“Why?”

“Backup plans are always good.” Her tone turns teasing, “And money, of course.”  

 “Okay.” 

Stupidly, she adds, “Your Mom would be proud of you, Brad.” 

Bradley takes a while to answer. Her heart’s sunk into her shoes (why did she say that?) by the time that he finally says, “Thanks. I hope so.” 

A beat passes. Two. Three. Then – enough of the sadness, Maia decides, and adjusts the throttle and controls. They lurch into a freefall. Well. “A controlled descent.” 

Bradley screeches from behind her, “What are you –”

“I’m clearing your head!” 

Then her senses are being pulled taut by the change in altitude and she actually has to focus on evening out their descent, until they resume the steady pace of earlier. 

Bradley’s gasping behind her, but eventually, his gasps give away to frenzied laughter. “Clearing my head – you maniac!”  

Maia just chuckles, “Mitchell madness, right?” 

… 

Dad’s waiting for them when they get to the hangar. Maverick’s a (reasonably) calm man, with his “it’ll all be alright” charm. So, Maia’s never seen him this angry before – he’s absolutely spitting. Both she and Bradley are taller than her Dad, but his fury turns them small as they come to a stop before him. 

Dad rounds on her first, with a sharp intake of air, “Maia Leigh Mitchell. You will never, ever fly –”

“It was me!” Bradley has stepped forward; his back is to her front, completely shielding her from Dad’s view. Her heart sings at the gesture. 

Pity she’s too stubborn to accept it. She tries to step around Bradley, but he just moves ahead of her. She has to lean around him to see Dad’s face. Bradley’s pleading, “Seriously, Mav, it’s my fault. I was feeling shit, and I asked to fly. The control centre thought I was you, since we’re two people –”

“You should have known better.” Dad’s voice is low and measured, and there’s something infinitely more dangerous in this than if he was just biting their heads off. 

“What does it matter? We were always going to be fine. She’s been in planes since she was ten, and I’m literally joining the air force.”       

Bradley’s words stall Dad, because he turns pale. As his anger wanes, something like guilt flashes across his face. 

Maia’s puzzling it out, looking between them, when Dad says, “No more hanging out.”

Panicked, Maia shoves Bradley out of her way. “Dad –”

Dad silences them both with a final blow, “This is not a request. It’s an order.”  

…

Naturally, Maia barely waits two days before breaking her father’s rule. She’s got the spare key, and before Maverick had banned them from seeing each other, she and Bradley had been planning to go to the planetarium together.

It’s nearing dusk when she reaches the planetarium. She finds Bradley slumped on the public lawns just ahead of the building, staring moodily ahead of him. His expression is so dark… and rage so obviously simmers in his bones. When Maia musters the courage to speak, she does so tentatively – and tentative is the last thing she ever is around him. 

“Brad? You okay?” 

Bradley looks her way, “I’m only here because I didn’t want you to turn up and be stuck here in the dark.” 

That throws her for a loop, “I’m sorry – what?” 

Bradley sniffs, “Did you know?” 

“Know what?” 

“Don’t lie to me.” 

Confusion’s rioting through her, and it must show on her face, because Bradley’s own expression softens. 

Finally, he says, “Mav pulled my papers.” 

Her confusion’s making her stupid; she just blinks at him. 

Bradley makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat, “Maia. He’s blocked my application to the navy. I can’t get in for at least another two years.” 

Maia doesn’t know it then, but this is the moment that her world splinters into pieces.

Her reply is so quiet, almost too quiet for Bradley to hear, “I don’t understand. Why would he –”

“What’s there not to understand? He doesn’t want me to fly. Doesn’t think I can.” 

Maia’s shaking her head now, wildly, “No. No, Brad, surely there’s a mistake of some sort.” 

“There’s no mistake.” 

She presses on, “How do you even know that?”

“Because Mav told me. I got my rejection letter earlier today and I went to see him about it.” 

She’s been out with Mina today, doing errands. She hasn’t seen him – or Dad – all day…

Bradley continues, “He told me. Came clean nearly as soon as I asked why they might have rejected me.” 

Maia’s throat is closing up; she’s going to be sick, “No.” 

“Stop saying that!” Bradley’s voice isn’t raised, but it is firm. 

A note of defeat creeps in as he asks, “Did you know?” 

Maia’s taking deep breaths, trying to keep nausea at bay. Between them, she gasps out, “No. I didn’t know.” 

“When we were flying, you said it’s good to have backup plans. Good that I applied to college.”

“I just – I meant that in a general way.”

He scoffs at her and his expression turns disbelieving; Bradley wrings his hands, “I can’t believe this. You and Maverick…”

“I didn’t know!” 

Bradley just shakes his head, “I’ll take the bus home with you. After that…” 

“Bradley, please. I didn’t know – and if Dad did reject you, we can fix it, we can still be friends –”

Bradley jerks backwards at her words, “Friends? Friends? Is that all you care about? Your dad’s ruined my plans!”

Their friendship is, regrettably, the thing she cares most about. But of course Bradley won’t understand that… 

 She struggles to voice this, settles for begging, “Brad, please. We’ll fix it –”

“I’ll take you home,” he repeats, “and then I’m leaving. For good.” 

“What? Where –”

“I’ve got those savings you said would be so useful, and they’ll get me far away from here.” 

Bradley starts walking off then, albeit with his head turned her way. She staggers after him. 

They take the bus back home with a deadened silence hanging between them. 

…

Everything happens so quickly when they get home. There’s yelling, from both Bradley and Dad, and then Bradley’s gone. Dad chases after him, but Maia’s got no strength to follow too. After an hour or so, Dad returns without Bradley.

When Maverick enters their living room, Maia’s eyes are swollen, and her cheeks feel sticky. 

She only says one thing, “Is it true?”

Dad flinches, gives a jerky nod, “Yes.” 

“Why?”

Dad looks away; she can see him shutting her out.  

“Why?”

Dad doesn’t answer. 

Maia inhales; a sob leaves her. Then, all she says is, “I’ve called Mum. She woke up, even though it’s early for her. I’m going home tomorrow.” 

Dad’s head flies her way; his voice is sharp and somehow resigned all at once, “What?”

“I’m going home.” 

Dad exhales shakily, but there’s an undercurrent of hurt there, too, “Maia, please.” 

“I’m going home. I want to go home.” 

Dad shakes his head, “No. You’re under my care and you can’t –” 

“Mum said I can!” 

She continues before Dad can bite back, “You realise this won’t stop him, don’t you? He won’t stop – he’ll never stop – trying to enlist.”

She goes on, even as Dad opens his mouth to speak, and her next comment is especially reckless, “You’ve only wasted his time.” 

She adds, “It was his birthday a week ago, Dad. Why would you…” 

Dad stares at her, expression hardening, “I know you like him, Maia. But this isn’t the end of the world.” 

She doesn’t even try to argue that point, even as embarrassment knots her insides, “I’ll find a way to get to him, and –”

Dad’s tone is harsher than she’s ever heard it, “Maia, you’re a sophomore. And you’re being immature. All you’re thinking about right now is your crush.”

That one hurts; Maia feels a piercing upset whizz through her. In reply, she says the only thing she can think of that’ll hurt him. “It might be just a crush. But after what you’ve done, I choose him over you.”

Maverick looks truly defeated now and so he hurts her right back, “I’ll take you to the airport first thing tomorrow.” 

They lapse into a silence that feels all too permanent.

… 

2003 –

To: bradleybradshaw11@yahoo.com 

From: maialeighmitchell@yahoo.com  

Brad. I’m not talking to Dad. I’m back home, and I just want to know where you are. Get back to me ASAP, please.

Later in 2003 – 

To: bradleybradshaw11@yahoo.com 

From: maialeighmitchell@yahoo.com  

Brad, I hope you’re busy! It’s a while still before uni – before college – starts, and I’m sure you’ll get in and do well. I’m busy with my exams at this point, hopefully I do well enough to do my AS and A-levels and then off to college with me.

Even later in 2003 –

To: bradleybradshaw11@yahoo.com 

From: maialeighmitchell@yahoo.com   

Brad, I hear you’re at UVA? Well done on getting in! I hope your year is great. Tell me if you pledge! It always looks so cool in the movies… 

2004 –

To: bradleybradshaw11@yahoo.com 

From: maialeighmitchell@yahoo.com  

Brad. I miss you.

2005 – 

To: bradleybradshaw11@yahoo.com 

From: maialeighmitchell@yahoo.com  

Happy Birthday! The big 21! You can drink now, wow. Have a great day. 

2007 – 

To: bradleybradshaw11@yahoo.com 

From: maialeighmitchell@yahoo.com  

Happy New Year!

2010 – 

To: bradleybradshaw11@yahoo.com 

From: maialeighmitchell@yahoo.com  

Merry Christmas!

2013 – 

To: bradleybradshaw11@yahoo.com 

From: maialeighmitchell@yahoo.com  

Goodbye. 

Author’s Note 2: I have no clue if Bradley’s birthday month is ever specified, but in my headcanon it’s February 11th, 1984.  

Could Maia conceivably gain access to a plane and fly across the San Diego skyline without being caught? Probably not. Suspend your disbelief for that one :)

[almostfoxglove]

Lovely Freya! 💜

I have writers questions for you. More specifically 6, 9 & 17

Take care 😘

hi sweetheart!! thank you so much for these eee! <3

6. are your projects driven more by character or plot?

character for sure. I love digging into someone's head and rootin around in there for the good stuff, absolutely hate inventing plots HAHA. there are occasional exceptions ofc, but in general I'm a big fan of character studies and am pretty happy to forgo a traditional plot altogether lmao. perhaps a symptom of me being a litfic writer in my personal life for better or worse HA

9. what are you best and worst at when writing?

worst = plot, for sure. story engines & me don't get along even though I'd like us to. in fics I don't think it matters so much because you come into it for the characters primarily (or at least I always have as a reader) and with the knowledge of the original story's context and plot, but in personal writing this one bites me in the ass all the time. best = woof. maybe using setting/scene description as an emotional lens? if that makes sense? I think I've mentioned before somewhere that I spend a fair bit of time picking what gets described in a scene and when in the scene it gets described. all of it gets filtered through whose head I'm in and what they're feeling in that moment, and how their emotions dictate what they're looking at and how they interpret it. if a character is in turmoil, storms might be violent, threatening, oppressive, etc. but if the character has just had a huge weight fall off them, that same storm might be a relief or cleansing to them, some sign of hope. or if they're distressed/feeling trapped, they aren't looking at the floor, they're looking at the door, the windows, etc, as if for a way out. that sort of thing! idk if that tracks but it's at least what I feel myself thinking abt a lot :,)

17. how do you determine what mood each project has?

OOH! hm mostly I come up w the mood when I'm ideating at the start, and often it's a craving for the opposite or something different than another project I'm working on at the time. for example, I was writing cover me up and was in the middle of a huge angst arc and, as much as I love angst first and foremost, I was craving something light to balance it out. so I ended up following that train of thought to light > lighthearted > less serious > fun > silly > ROMCOM, and thus see you at three was born. HA then of course I was writing so much goofy fluff I was craving angst again. thus, I'll carry you :,) then I wanted angst that wasn't just emotional/relationship angst, but angst in the environment. thus, lock the gate :,,) IT JUST GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ----

writing asks game!

[the-golden-comet]

✨Writeblr Interview✨

Thank you for tagging me @nczaversnick , @phynewrites , @mrbexwrites , and @foyle-writes-things ! Appreciate the heck out of y’all 💛✨

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Novels for sure, to read and to write! ✨

What genre do you prefer reading?

Same ones as I write—BL Romantasies, high fantasies, low fantasies, adult fiction, Slice of Life, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Fluff/Smut 💫✨

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Little of column A, little of column B. I think a healthy balance between the two makes for some great planned (and unplanned) adventures! 💛✨

What music do you listen to while writing?

So funny thing….I don’t listen to music when I write. But, my favorite writing white noise is gameplay of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dead by Daylight, or Friday the 13th without commentary, played at a very low volume. Something about a revving chainsaw sparks my motivation to write (or maybe it’s fear? 🤔)

Favorite books/movies?

Anything Disney +mutuals’s stories ✨

Any current WIPs?

So far finishing up YWIMC before I move on to something big….👀✨I have a lot of stories on the back-burner and am focusing on one at a time 💛

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

Very comfortable gray-knit turtleneck or hoodie, comfy pants, stylin’ shoes, and my bag of holding (numerous things. Backpack I carry around that has all my daily necessities ✨)

Create a character description of yourself:

Okay picture Link from The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. Got it? Okay. Make him gay. Give him some cartilage piercings. Maybe a few eye bags due to the insomnia. There you go. ✨

Oh also make him chaotic good. Because the world needs more kindness, and I will give the world more kindness. The world does not have a choice in the matter. 🌏💫✨

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Considering what I write? Absolutely not.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

Depends on the character and the narrative. I like happy endings, but sometimes a character must die. 🤷‍♂️

Coffee or Tea while writing?

While I write? Water. While I wake up? Coffee. While I get ready for bed? Tea.

Slow or fast writer?

Fast writer, slow motivator. Once I get on a groove I can usually go on 5-6 hour writing binges at a time. I just have to get there first with all of my projects….🫠✨

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

Myself mainly, and my friends and mutuals secondly. I’ve been writing for myself since I started making fanfictions as a teenager, so I’ll never NOT make stories for myself. Gaining a supportive community on writeblr has given me an extra boost of motivation, because now I feel like I’m writing for myself AND for my friends and mutuals ✨

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

The person that somehow finds themself in harrowing situations only to stumble my way out of the problem through sheer coincidence and bullshit. Or a bard. Probably a bard. Maybe both of these things 🤔✨

Most fav book cliche:

Two dumb idiots (/positive) go on an epic quest and learn about each other in the meanwhile. (See: The Emperor’s New Groove)

Least favorite cliche:

One-trick pony characters that lack depth, or exist just to check off a box.

Favorite scene to write?

Anything involving the two main protags.

Reason for writing?

My own personal enjoyment, and to share my crazy mind with the world for entertainment and create joy and inspiration to a community of genius minds (You. I’m talking about you. Yeah, YOU. Keep writing, keep inspiring, and keep on keeping on) 💖✨

Thank you again! I’m going to tag (no pressure): @tragedycoded , @wyked-ao3 , @gioiaalbanoart , @sableglass , @words-after-midnight , @saturnine-saturneight , @marlowethelibrarian , @davycoquette , @lychhiker-writes , @glasshouses-and-stones , @aintgonnatakethis , @honeybewrites , @drchenquill , @theink-stainedfolk , @the-letterbox-archives , @ominous-feychild , @mysticstarlightduck , @finickyfelix , @autism-purgatory , @moltenwrites , @rivenantiqnerd , @thecomfywriter , @somethingclevermahogony , @authorcoledipalo , @houseplantblank , +open tag ✨

[the-stove-is-divorced]

Fic asks !

🤯🧠🎉

🤯 - What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Fluff and romance for sure. I both loathe the romance genre and am somehow endlessly fascinated with it, since it eludes me, I wanna dissect it so bad to find what's so compelling about it. I think by proxy, since I don't see a lot of romance I could actually care about it, if not worsen characters for me, or take a BULK of the plot when there's something more interesting being dismissed, I struggle writing it completely. Fluff, I have little practice and have little interest writing. Now, poetic descriptions of agony? My expertise, lol!

🧠 - Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

I'll pick, hehe, (((o(*°▽°*)o))) MARK! And the crowd is not surprised! I think at some point Mark grows out his hair in a like spur, middle of the night type kinda goal. Still defining himself by whatever Nolan ISN'T, this is another attempt to not even look like him, which eventually leads him down a path towards expressing who he likes to be/look like. He nearly dyes/shaves his hair when he sees s3 variant with longer hair in a panicked spiral, which either Eve or William (or heck, interesting asf if it was Rex or Kate), talks him out of, so if he must dye it, he dyes it properly. Once it gets long enough, he puts it in a loose bun once, and when someone comments he looks just like Debbie, he gets giddy about it. Honestly potential for a more gender queer exploration, but yeah ♡♡♡

The show would never fucking do this, but it's real in my heart.

Also Mark definitely jumped off the fucking roof once trying to fly and lied about it, saying he slipped after climbing through his window. It got locked for like a year. Comic books are heavy escapism for him, leave him alone for days and he'll just reread his entire Seance Dog collection. Repeatedly.

🎉 - What leads you to consider a fic a success?

Perhaps shallow, but like at least one comment, or more tbh, that makes me feel like I'm not just writing it for me, but for somebody else too. If it's just for me it can stay in the docs or daydreams. It's gotta make me thrilled/happy, otherwise I will delete/anon'd out of existence and move on. I've always got WIP ideas after all, and time can be spent anywhere else! Oneshots function similarly, I just need to know someone else likes it too.

Ultimate success is a completed multi-chapter fic, but with the size of my ideas this eludes me often. Yearnful sigh.

TYSM FOR THE ASKS I LOVE THESE. (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[ganeshpnf]

HI IM HERE TO RANT ABOUT CHALICE OF THE GODSSS

OKAY SO I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE SAID THAT THERE WASNT ENOUGH FIGHTING AND BATTLES AND ALL THAT BUT. THAT ISNT PERCYS LIFE RN SO I THINK IT MAKES SENSE?? AND HIS FIGHT WITH OLD AGE WAS KINDA LAME BUT I THINK THATS THE POINT...?

ALSO: GROVER NEEDS TO BE PART OF THE TRIO BETTER :( I FEEL LIKE HE DIDNT HAVE AS BIG OF A ROLE BECAUSE PERCY AND ANNABETH ARE DATING WHICH IS LIKE COOL AND ALL BUT THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS IMPORTANT TOO!!

and yeah! your thoughts? (sorry i know this is a lot to dump on you but i saw you reply to my post :D)

OMG HI!!!!

Missing fight scenes actually makes sense since they are older and more capable of taking down monsters. Also this was supposed to be more like a crack book, where they just hang out as teenagers, without more trauma XD

I agree on that old age thing, it was kind of cheesy? But still, made me smile. And tear up 👉👈 They are my kids, thinking of them getting old-

About Grover, I think it would link with the other books because on Read Riordan we know Grover is very sad because he thinks they gonna leave him- I think in next books Percy and Annabeth would realize this and show him that he is wrong :) In toa they left for college all together, Grovar was with them. I think like he would be left alone at Hecate's house since both of them would be in school and maybe we would see his feelings- They are all just guesses tho XD

Other than that, their dynamics were everything! I mean there was almost nothing serious about it and I laughed at every page. Percy's pov are everything and I MISSED it sooo much! The titles too! The new characters are very good too, minor gods( Hebe, Iris, that Lake god, GANYMADE) their were amazing! Them turning to 8 years old babies by Hebe! Omg I LOVED IT. Humor and fluff was everything. And my fav scene: Athena catching Percy XD Like I lost it! It was sooo good. Her helping her future son in law, finally accept him because her love for her daughter :) Love them. Zeus's Llama story... Well, lets say I kinda missed them too XD And of course, Sally, Paul, Annabeth, Percy acting as a family. Annabeth and Paul's interactions were adorable! Grover banging in for tofu was also hilarious lmao. And he was sad there because it was their last summer :( Sally and Annabeth being close, Sally giving THE NEWS. Baby Estelle is on the way! Percy's reaction, also being sad because he would miss many of her early life :(

I only had one problem with the book: Lack of physical decriptions. I didn't really understand the reason because like in every book we had at least one page of Percy gushing over Annabeth, talking about her gray eyes etc. Grover and the gods same too. I mean, this made me a little sad because I really wanted to know what they look like, I am into imagining while reading. I mean, Rick changing the descriptions with the show ones or something? Don't get me wrong I adore the show and the cast but I really think they should have their own canon timelines ❤

Other than that, I can easily say it was now my fav pjo book. I mean I teared up with happiness, nostalgia I felt... I love OG trio more than anything 🥲 I can't wait for the next book-

Thank you so much for the dump, it made me soooo happy ^^ I never miss a change to discuss my fav books with the fans ❤