#love the burner accounts though keep it up

[dwtdog]

babe i fear that says leaking to main. if u think tumblr has any equivalence to main fucking twitter then u don't go here loll

[thisblogisaboutabook]

The cycle of life

Azriel x Reader

Fae cycles suck, thank the mother for your attentive mate who is there to provide you with all of the smut and fluff you desire.

warnings: smut, language, self-esteem and body image struggles, anxiety, slight breeding kink

She didn’t know when the self-loathing crept in - although it was always the first sign. The week had been busy, she’d poured herself into her work. Being a bookkeeper for such a wealthy court was… tiring to say the least. It was fulfilling work, especially when it came to the Court of Dreams. Balancing ledgers and creating budgets for various charitable endeavors was a duty she was proud to take part in. The High Lord and Lady’s efforts in keeping their court thriving was admirable. Most would find the work mundane, and she supposed it could be, but accounting always felt like a puzzle to her - using her brain to solve problems and contribute to the advancement of the Night Court was rewarding.

She wasn’t perfect though, despite that desperate desire within herself to be. She’d push, and push, and push herself completely overlooking all the good she did and absolutely berating herself internally when the occasional mistake occurred.

Azriel was her number one supporter. She’d always imagined him to be better suited for the likes of a fellow warrior such as Mor or a Valkyrie like Gwyn. Perhaps even someone soft and lovely like Elain, a glowing beacon to come home to. Y/N had told Azriel as much when he began pursuing her.

“Why me?” She’d wonder to herself as she assessed her figure in the mirror - overlooking the enticing feminine curves that all but screamed “squeeze me, grip me, take me”, the way her plush lips bowed into a perfectly kissable pout, how her radiant skin that nearly glowed rendered her ethereal. She only saw imperfections. Not to mention that she wasn’t graceful or stealthy, she couldn’t cook or keep plants alive to save her damned life, and she had a tendency to get stuck inside her mind.

Truthfully this week was more than busy, it was hard. She’d pushed herself to meet deadlines that she’d gotten behind on due to an influx in workload. She’d made a few mistakes that nobody had issue with - except herself. Nuala and Cerridwen were taking well-deserved time off, leaving the essential household tasks on the back burner. Between working endless hours, Azriel being gone on a mission, and a flare up of the anxiety that she’d put so much effort into working through over the years - she was exhausted.

Physically her muscles ached, stomach cramped, and her head pounded as the all-too-familiar symptoms of her impending semi-annual cycle took root. Her mind and spirit were utterly fatigued from the busy week, the flare up of anxiety, and the overall stress of life. She was desperate for Azriel to return from his mission soon.

It was around 9PM when she coerced herself into wrapping up work on Friday night, she spent three hours afterward tending to the house and catching up on neglected tasks from the week, too tired to even bathe as she crawled into bed - sleep claiming her immediately.

She awoke the next day to a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Hello beautiful.” Azriel whispered against her skin, pulling back to allow those intense hazel eyes a chance to examine her. Her eyelids fluttered and brows furrowed as she let out an exhausted groan, “baby…” a small smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she reached toward him in a needy manner that made his heart ache. He hated leaving her for missions though she always understood and supported him. He leaned down, wrapping his arms around her body, letting his warmth seep into her bones as she melted into his embrace.

Azriel noticed the flinch she made as the sun shone through the window into their room, quickly flaring his wings to block it from view until her eyes adjusted. “What’s wrong, love?” He whispered, though he already had an idea. The heat of his breath against her ear sent chills through her, prompting her to give a quick nip to his neck before kissing it.

Gods, she’d missed him.

“Nothing baby.” before he could call her on her lie she continued, “what time is it?”

“Well, you missed breakfast.” He smirked.

“Ugh… how did I sleep in so late?” She sat up, rubbing her tired eyes.

Azriel shrugged “Your body must have needed it.”

“Says you.” She scoffed. “You were off all week doing physically demanding work and busting your ass for this court… while I sat on mine balancing ledgers.”

“Y/N…” he spoke, his low voice barely more than a warning growl. “We’re not going to do that. You are allowed to feel tired, allowed to let your body rest. Your work is important.”

She sighed, knowing better than to press on. She knew to pick her battles and that this one was not one she would win.

“Fine.” Y/N shrugged, eyeing a paper bag on the bedside table. “What did you bring me? Please tell me it’s something with chocolate.”

Azriel’s lips curled up into a grin that she’d never tire of seeing, handing over the bag. “See for yourself, darling.”

———

Azriel knew from the moment he stepped into the quiet house that she���d need extra love and attention today. His loving, caring, selfless mate who typically rose early - he swore the sun rose on her accord and not the other way around - was still sound asleep in bed.

He immediately exited the house before she could sense his presence and stopped by her favorite bakery along the Sidra. Chocolate croissants were a necessity in times like these. She’d need a pain relieving tonic, epsom salts and soothing oils, and a bouquet of flowers couldn’t hurt either.

He went ahead and picked up ingredients for a few quick meals and a new book she’d mentioned recently as well.

He had to laugh at the irony. His mate often questioned her worthiness of him. HIM. She couldn’t see what he saw. A passionate, intelligent female who cared for her mate, her court, and family more than anything. Always putting her own needs last but the first to volunteer when help was needed. The cauldron truly found his equal - someone who gave and gave but it was never enough. Someone who couldn’t see her own worth, her pure heart, her devastating beauty - while the rest of the world marveled at it.

She’d been the catalyst in his own self-acceptance. He’d spent centuries believing he wasn’t enough, that he was unworthy of a mate, of his position, of the power he was born with - just to meet this intelligent, radiant being who could bring an entire room to a halt and assume they were only seeing flaws. Not the beauty that could make even kings fall to their knees if she’d only ask. When the bond snapped, he decided then and there that he would show her just how worthy she was. In the decade they’d been mated, she finally started to see her worth, how precious she was to him, to those she graced with her presence. But life is complicated and triggers are inevitable, especially when it came to the flare of hormones that accompanied an impending cycle.

—————

The chocolate croissants were a win if the drawn-out contented sigh Y/N let out upon finishing her third one was any indication. He’d shared details of his mission as she indulged in the pastries and she gave him a few details of her week - frowning as she went into detail about the “mistakes” she’d made.

They were common mistakes that anyone would make, truthfully, some weren’t even her fault, but he listened as she let it out. He’d learned over the years that sometimes she just needed to get it off her chest and not advice. Simply hearing each other out had become a key element in the foundation of their relationship - when thoughts became too much - they were always listening ears for each other.

Once she’d gotten it off her chest she changed the subject by asking, “What do you want to do today?”

Azriel had a lot to do - but his mate took priority this weekend. He gave her a wicked grin, “I want nothing more than to waste away in this bed with you all day.”

“But?” She replied.

“But nothing.” He flicked her nose. “I want to spend the day in bed with my mate - is there something wrong with that?”

Azriel could see the war in her mind. Debating whether she deserved to take a day off, or should tend to other tasks. Before she could object he leaned in, lips capturing hers in a deep, loving kiss. She immediately opened for him, his tongue lazily tangling with hers. “Fine” she murmured.

“That’s my girl.” He cooed before returning to claiming her mouth, the shell of her ears, her neck.

“Mmm” she purred into his kiss while he palmed at her breast through her silken cobalt night gown. Her swollen breasts immediately peaking beneath his touch.

“So responsive” his low voice growled into her neck, sending fire straight through her, igniting her core. “Is that beautiful pussy as ready for me as these are?” He asked, tweaking a nipple through her gown.

The responding moan told him more than enough as he hitched the hem of her nightgown up to her waist, exposing the dripping cunt practically begging for him underneath. His eyes rolled back at the intoxicating scent of arousal drifting up into his nose. “Holy shit, Y/N.” he groaned, clearly pleased with the sight.

He ran a finger through her slick core, adding a teasingly light amount of pressure to her clit but before he could insert a finger she moaned “No Az, I can’t wait. Please.”

“You don’t want my fingers?” He teased, slipping one inside of her. Mother, she was absolutely soaked.

“Az…Fuck. No. Please.” She pleaded. Reaching down to palm the hardened length beneath his sweatpants. “I need that inside of me. Now”

Typically he would reprimand her for being so demanding, robbing him of his playtime with her sweet, dripping sex. But the desperation in her voice left him desperate to oblige her.

“Since you asked nicely.” He replied, to which she frantically helped him out of his pants.

Before she could reconsider taking more fingers, he thrusted his length into her. Hard. Every thick, aching inch of him, stretching and filling her completely.

“Like that?” He asked as her moans filled the room.

“Yes. Yes, Az.”

“Fuck.” She cried out. “Just. Like. That.” Each word coming out individually timed to the thrusts of his cock.

There was no way he was going to last long at this pace, especially after being away for a week. “Not gonna last long like this. Fuck!” He ground out.

She grit her teeth as his thrusts became harder, more erratic. “Then fill me, Az. Need your cum.”

Slipping a hand between them, he pressed his thumb to her clit, moving it in that perfected motion he’d finessed over the years as he diligently studied her body, a scholar whose sole discipline laid in pleasuring his mate. Locking his eyes with her, he gently commanded “Cum with me baby.”

With that they both let go. Their releases filling the room like a song. A melody Azriel would never tire of, one he replayed in his mind somehow far too often, yet never enough during his time away.

Azriel stayed inside of her until their breaths settled, evening out into sync with eachother. He reveled in the warmth of her. His perfect mate - physically, emotionally, spiritually. He’d never take this for granted.

Finally he pulled out of her in one long sweep, she looked down to admire the still considerable length of him even when partially softened. Her stomach dropped to see blood mixed in with their combined releases.

“Az, oh, I’m so s-” She started but he cut her off.

“Baby. It’s just a little blood.”

She almost looked ashamed. “I know but- I’m embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?” He puzzled. “It’s completely natural. Do you really think blood bothers me? Come on now beautiful, we’ve had sex during your cycle before. Why shy away now?”

“I just didn’t expect the bleeding to have started already. It explains why I’ve felt so lethargic, I suppose.”

Azriel went to get a warm cloth from the adjoined washroom, returning to wipe her. Her cheeks flushed at the intimate action.

“Stop overthinking it. Besides, we’re mates.” He smiled, a soft look overtaking his eyes. “If you still want to have children with me someday, your cycle is kind of an essential step of the process.”

Y/N flushed at the comment. The thought of carrying his babies was something she’d dreamed about for years now. Thank the gods for her distant Illyrian ancestry and the genes that blessed her with curvy hips capable of birthing winged babes.

“You know, with my cycle returning… we could always start trying? If we stopped taking our tonics now - it should be out of our system in time for ovulation. Rhys has offered recently to let me bring on an assistant book keeper, which would be excellent timing.”

Azriel’s heart fluttered at the thought of it. His mate round and glowing as she carried their baby, a babe that would know so much more love than he ever had as a child. Something so pure and beautiful that could come from the love between he and his mate. They’d talked about it for years now, a dream of theirs. He had to quickly blink away the silver lining his eyes at the gift she was offering him, his selfless mate in all her infinite love. There was no way he could verbally reply in the moment without choking up so he sent waves of adoration, joy, and gratitude down the bond.

She sent every bit of love right back to him, propping up on her elbows to capture his lips in a promising kiss.

———-

After they came to a decision, Azriel carried Y/N to the bathing room where a hot bath full of the oils and epsom salts he’d picked up that morning were waiting. She nearly cried at the relief of the welcoming heat that greeted her.

Before she could object, Azriel quickly stepped out to change the sheets, promptly returning to slide into the bath tub behind her. He washed her hair, massaging her scalp to which she nearly purred like a cat. He carefully washed her entire body massaging her back, thighs, calves, shoulders, and breasts in the process. By the time he was done tending to her, she’d nearly fallen asleep.

Ever the caretaker, she tried to wash him in return but he insisted that this was about her - passing her a rolled up towel to place behind her neck while she relaxed, letting the oils from the bath soak into her skin as he lathered himself. He got out first, toweling himself off before lifting her out of the tub and drying her off with a heated towel.

Though she insisted she could do it herself, Azriel wasn’t having it. This was his day to care for his mate so he helped her into cloth lined linens and selfishly left her topless, slipping her underneath the fresh blankets.

He assured her he’d be right back slipping out to the kitchen to heat up her favorite gnocchi soup and fetch a tray he’d prepared with her pain relieving tonic, bouquet of flowers, and more chocolate.

It didn’t take much to bring his mate joy - the genuine gratitude she’d send down the bond at even the smallest gestures was never lost on him. Perhaps it was self-serving but he couldn’t resist surprising her, coveting each warm smile she’d give him as if he’d never feel warmth again.

He prayed their future babes had her smile, her eyes, any of her features, truly. But most of all, her heart - maybe then, beating within the most precious gift the mother could offer them, she’d finally see just how beautiful she really was.

————

He had to beg and plead like a mad male but finally she agreed to spend the entire weekend in bed with him. Who knew that he, the one who was typically the workaholic, would be the one to grovel at his mates feet begging her to take a break.

Fortunately, she was not immune to his charms and obliged him. At one point, she snuck out of bed in an attempt to accomplish a few tasks around the house before her cramps humbled her. Azriel was promptly startled awake from the nap he’d drifted off to as she loudly exclaimed from down the hall, “Fuck it. Back to bed.”

They spent the rest of the weekend making love, whispering of their dreams for the future, indulging in sweets, and reveling in each others touch with no shortage of laughter and kissing in between.

——————————

A/n: So I’ve totally been under the weather this weekend with no motivation to write but as I laid in bed with my own partner tending to me with whatever I needed, I couldn’t resist writing this. I intended it to be a Drabble but the words just kept flowing. I stan fluffy Az. Anyway, thanks for reading!

For those of you waiting on new parts to my current fics - I promise they’re coming along and will be out soon! xo ♥️

[cerisahh]

WHAT'S YOUR HANDLE!

SYNOPSIS ꒱ social media/internet headcanons for the saiki k characters.

CHARACTERS INCLUDED ꒱ saiki, kaidou, aren, nendou, toritsuka, hairo, teruhashi, aiura, yumehara, mera, rifuta

NOTE ꒱ i love the saiki k characters so much they’re like a fond memory.

KUSUO SAIKI

• surprisingly, saiki has social media.

• private account, of course. 0 posts, 0 followers, 0 following, (12 follow requests which he will never accept).

• claims it helps him be percieved as 'average' (he's keeping tabs on his friends those nuisances that follow him around).

• enjoys baking videos! when he finds a recipe he likes, him and his mother will make it together.

• he's one of those people who use perfect punctuation and grammar whilst typing. never turned off auto-capitalisation.

• dry texter by choice, not by chance. he's less dry when he's speaking online to someone he actually likes, but not by much (by less dry, you get a sentence instead of a one-word answer).

• leaves everyone on delivered most of the time.

• tried changing his number multiple times, but someone always manages to get hold of it so he just gave up.

SHUN KAIDOU

• no one wants to say it so i will. he uses wattpad.

• tried to use ao3/fanfiction.net but found it too difficult so he stuck to his roots.

• he would definetly write paragraphs upon paragraphs of the lore of the-jet-black-wings and dark reunion, as well as the origins of the power sealed within his right arm (black beat) and why it is DETRIMENTAL that this power is never unleashed or stolen by evil.

• everyone in the comments think that it's just a cool original story idea.

• absolutely inserts his friends as original characters in his lore. i might make a whole seperate post about this.

• he also uses reddit. where else is he going to get story ideas?

• has these apps pin locked and hidden in his phone, on the off-chance his mother decides to look through it.

• ABSOLUTELY plays roblox, his username is something cringe he made when he was ten (like the rest of us), refuses to change it. account is -13 for some reason.

• he has spent a lot of money on roblox. a troubling amount.

• types in lowercase, except when he's talking to his mother, then it's all punctuation and manners.

AREN KUBOYASU

• still purchases burner phones even though his gangster days are over. old habits die hard.

• uses an ipad more often than not.

• plays roblox with kaidou, is a bacon hair. his messages constantly get filtered because he still doesn't realise you can't swear on roblox. warned almost everyday - on the verge of being banned.

• watches motorcycle tiktoks, it's literally all his fyp is. the comments he leaves are usually just questions relating to the specs of the bikes.

• is the member of the group that pays for netflix and disney+ and lets everyone leech off of him.

• reformed aren posts pictures of his friends and himself, it's actually a really normal page - which is his goal.

• pre-reformed aren would just post videos of him flexing, and all of his fights. there's a lot of fights.

• also: mullet pics.

• is on reddit SOLELY for the purpose of biker groups. could probably write a thesis on an single engine part. probably has. don't ask him to show you.

RIKI NENDOU

• this guy BARELY knows how to operate a phone, let alone the internet.

• only really uses his phone to google stuff and talk to his buddies.

• nendou... is so bad at spelling... like... SO bad.

• half the time nobody can decipher his messages it's just that horrendous.

• uses emojis, but doesn't open the emoji tab?? so he'll type the emoji he wants and then leave the word prompt in the message?? (ex: 'ramen 🍜 after school 🏫 ?')

• made a seperate account for koriki no.2 but just uses it as his own.

• his first time posting a picture of himself one of those ⓘ - generated by ai messages was under it. THEY THINK HE’S TOO UGLY TO BE REAAALL.

• unintelligible comments left on everything he sees.

• also likes everything he sees. his fyp/explore pages are filled with nonsense. nothing makes sense.

• there are a lot of cute animal videos though - this is a recurring theme.

REITA TORITSUKA

• sigh.

• falls for those ads that are like: 'horny women in the area ready to fuck'.

• REALLY?? WHERE?

• has a lot of malware downloaded without his knowledge.

• a reddit troll, there's no doubt about it. he LIVES to piss people off on that site. think colin robinson in that one episode (this is a niche reference).

• i regret to inform everyone, but before omegle shut down... he was a regular.

• probably has several failed business ideas. also has probably invested in cryptocurrency, bragged about his newfound riches, lost his newfound riches due to the market collapsing, and the cycle continues.

• says outrageous things on twitter. outrageous. one might even go as far as to say heinous.

• probably has hate pages made about him.

KINESHI HAIRO

• without a doubt has a gym bro tiktok account, might be a disciple of joey swoll.

• reposts those 'before and after' gym pictures with messages of congratulations to the person - he's so sweet. >_<

• probably has a couple thousand followers, a lot of people from his local gym follow him.

• contrary to popular belief, he doesn't type with caps on all the time. keeps auto capitalisation on and uses a lot of exclamation marks though.

• is the person who created the class groupchat. and the group chat of the ENTIRE school year. he literally added EVERYONE to it.

• follows everyone? like... people don't even know how he knows everyone but he does?? (he's just really friendly).

• there's multiple videos that he's tagged in of him doing kind things for people, hairo is such a sweetheart guys.

• uses his platform to give fitness advice to people. there's a lot of motivational quotes plastered on his accounts.

KOKOMI TERUHASHI

• of course teruhashi has social media, how else will she broadcast her beauty?

• she has SO many message requests, dedicates hours a day to respond to them to maintain her 'perfect pretty girl' status.

• posts once every week at a scheduled time, get's thousands of likes without fail.

• has a finsta for her close friends.

• doesn't have tiktok but somewhow still has fan accounts on there. and on every other site.

• is really into conspiracy theories, although she won't publicise this or her stance on anything either. she must remain neutral.

• her @'s and tags are mostly full of her fans taking pictures with/of her. she appreciates it, of course! but it's still strange...

• has her brother blocked (thank god).

• has numerous ootd highlights, the people eat it up everytime.

MIKOTO AIURA

• chronic pinterest addict

• unironically uses yubo (she needs help)

• her instagram highlights are so fun to go through, it's messy but it's a hot mess

• posts A LOT, like multiple times a day

• consumes a lot of yoga/meditation media.

• a lot of her media intake is different subcultures of gyaru (obviously), but she's really into haute couture.

• she actually streams on twitch sometimes, mostly to do online readings for people - she also does makeup tutorials and posts fashion advice!

• has also been banned by twitch several times for bypassing terms of service. (it's not her fault that the admins are sensitive).

• her most used app is probably spotify. has ayesha erotica in most of her playlists.

• she has a seperate account for her business, she posts newly decorated crystal balls each week and does free weekly readings in order to promote herself.

CHIYO YUMEHARA

• runs a semi-popular baking yt, (which saiki follows, to the knowledge of no one)

• used to post gacha life love story videos.

• might be the only person who knows about kaidous secret wattpad account (bar saiki obviously), reads everything he writes and inserts herself into his scenarios.

• types all cutesy and uses emoticons like there is no tomorrow

• 'hai hai everyone!! (^_^)' <- for example.

• buys sketchy stuff off aliexpress that promise the most ludicrous results (ex: she buys fat burning/slimming creams and expects them to give her a perfect beach body, gets confused when it gives her a rash and then buys more).

• has an etsy shop and makes custom jewellery (makes it free for her friends and leaves it in their desks with a custom note, it's very wholesome).

• her notes app is under LOCK AND KEY. that shit is more secure than the nuclear codes.

CHISATO MERA

• doesn't have a phone. can't even afford gas and electric, let alone internet. is poor.

• BUT IF SHE WASN'T!!

• would join giveaways even if they're obviously fake. she's desperate.

• miraculously end up WINNING ONE?? she gets flown out to be featured in one of those obnoxious youtubers videos and comes back with a fat paycheck and ridiculously expensive electronics (which she eventually sells, probably to pay the rent).

• is a reoccurring guest on yumehara's yt channel, as a taste-tester, obviously.

• was also meant to critique the food but she rates everything a 10/10 so was not very useful.

• her most used app? let's all be honest with ourselves, it's a food delivery one.

• has the most games downloaded out of everyone, mostly to entertain her siblings when they're bored.

IMU RIFUTA

• has a really cute and aesthetic tumblr - yet somewhow doesn't know what fanfiction is?

• dear god this girl uses everskies. she ABSOLUTELY uses everskies. has been banned several times.

• has so many throwaway accounts. like it breaches fifty, it's getting to be a problem.

• definitely argues with people on public forums, you can't convince me that this girl doesn't have festering anger building up inside her, arguing online is like a rage room for her.

• her phone layout is one of those aesthetic pink ones, she spent hours on it. hours.

• this girl is a MASTER stalker. has every social media under the sun, even the ones nobody has heard about in years.

• is unnervingly good at editing photos and videos.

• her alts are constantly getting suspended for harassment. has anonymously harassed saiki multiple times (he knows its her).

• everything she posts is really over-the-top with cutesy filters, like, blindingly so.

© CERISAHH 2024 — all fics on this account belong to… ME! don’t steal my shit.

[prejacfetish]

Train Yourself (or a partner) to Cum Faster - Coach Sarah' Method for PE

TL;DR

* Find what tier you're in below

* work towards the next tier

**Introduction**

After posting my first adventure here, I've gotten many, many people asking me to train or coach them one-on-one. Of course, having someone hot, clever, and a little sadistic to train you is the best, but, tragically, the reality is that I am way too busy to coach every person who wants to be coached.

But, these conversations have helped me start to formulate a generic write-up for some of the stuff I would suggest for guys or girls who want to be coached, either to cum faster, to cum helplessly to some specific stimulus, or both. This is my first stab at the former -- coaching to cum faster.

I've never had a "method" before. Every guy or girl I've ever played these sorts of games with I've approached individually, depending on their desires, their past, and what I personally was finding hot when I thought about it.

But I do think there are patterns or defaults that can help, so I've decided to start writing them down and sharing them.

If any of you follow my advice and keep notes, I'd love to hear how it goes! I particularly enjoy public comments, even if they're made with a burner account, because then everyone can benefit from your experience.

**What this guide is and isn't**

This will be an initial attempt at a guide specifically for people (any gender, any genitals) who want to cum faster. This is actually NOT what I do most of the time in my personal life -- most of the time, especially if I'm even occasionally sleeping with the person, I'd much prefer to train them to cum when I want, which might be 30 seconds into making out with them, or not at all. But, since PE Fetish is where I shared my first post, that's what most of your questions have been about, so I figured I'd start there.

So, what are the main goals of making someone cum faster? And what are the things I am not particularly interested in?

Let's get some of the "not interested" things out of the way first.

First, I'm not interested in fantasy, and that's not what this guide is about. I think fantasy captioned images where a guy is cumming in his pants after just seeing a girl in tight pants are great, if that's your thing. More power to ya! But MY thing is doing it in real life, and in real life that sort of thing is both borderline impossible, and also, if it really COULD be achieved, would completely screw up a person's life. Hot in fantasy, but not workable in reality.

Second, for this guide, I'm only interested in "conditioned triggers" in as much as they facilitate cumming faster. The idea of cumming whenever you see pussy or breasts or ass or a fire truck or hear a specific phrase is GREAT, and I LOVE it -- but here it is, at best, of secondary importance.

If you condition yourself to only cum to bare breasts, for example, you're working towards a different goal than strictly "lowering your time" PE. Imagine training to only cum to bare breasts, and it worked perfectly. Does that mean if we were hooking up, and I left my shirt on, you could you go for hours?

Obviously the answer to this is probably "who knows," but the point is that if your goal is just to get faster, a trigger CAN be helpful, but it should be a side dish more than the main course.

(Side note, a variation on this that I applied with Alan in a previous post, and that I have used several times since, is conditioning friends to cum when they see my bare pussy. This is a fun variation on a PE fetish, because it lets you keep a guy hard for as long as you want, but they know they will never be able to fuck you! That's not what I'm covering here, though. Maybe another day!)

So if that's what I DON'T want, what DO I want to achieve with this kind of coaching?

**Goals / What this guide will help you do**

The following three goals, IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE:

1. the person gets better at the learned skill of cumming quickly. week over week, the number of minutes and seconds it takes for them to cum goes down consistently (if not strictly linearly)

2. the person gets better at cumming from less intense VISUAL & mental stimulation. if in week 1 they are cumming to niche hardcore porn, in week 52 (say) I'd like them to be cumming just as easily to pics of people wearing clothes, or just their imagination.

3. the person gets better at cumming from less intense PHYSICAL stimulation. if in week 1 they are cumming to jerking off with a death-grip at high speed, or by holding a hitachi directly against their clit, by week 52 (say), I'd like them to be cumming from one finger rubbing their frenulum, or a soft paintbrush or make-up brush on their clit.

This is a key concept, so I'll repeat it: for me, and this guide, I am more interested in lowering times FIRST, decreasing intensity of visual stimulation SECOND, and decreasing physical stimulation THIRD. There can be some wiggle room, and not everything is linear, as I'll explain; but in general I think going from 20 minute jerk-offs (or 4+ hour goon sessions) with a tight grip and nonstop hardcore/niche porn on monday, to trying to "OFM" to girls in baggy clothes in 90 seconds on tuesday, is a recipe for not getting anywhere.

**Three Elements**

That said, progress is always non-linear. So, you'll be working through tiers. For each tier, you will:

1. Get your time down, and keep lowering it consistently

2. Then, start to experiment with less intense visual / mental stimulation

3. Then, start to experiment with less intense physical stimulation

When you are hitting all three benchmarks in a given tier, you'll move on to the next.

Ok those are the goals. Now onto the method.

**Method In Broad Strokes**

1. Take stock of where you currently are.

2. Find the highest tier you're in based on the benchmarks

3. Use that tier to set specific, concrete goals

4. Work towards those goals in the following order:A. TimeB. Visual stimulationC. Physical stimulation

5. When you reach a new benchmark, start the steps over

6. When (not if) you hit a plateau, follow the "plateau procedure"

Again, I've never written this down before, but this is basically what I'm typically, generically doing and thinking about when I'm training a friend (or enemy). I'm not always literally following the exact steps in the exact order, but it's pretty close to what I would do in the broadest of strokes.

(Also, for what it's worth, if anyone works on this constantly I'd love your feedback. I'm inventing these tiers right now based on experience, in order to help people broadly; but in my normal life I'd be setting individual goals for each individual. These might end up being a little "off" and if you find yourself stalling or hitting certain benchmarks more easily than others, I'd love to hear that.

**Tiers**

>**Tier 1 Benchmarks:**

>

>Frequency: Masturbates 3 or more times per day

>

>Time: n/a (doesn't matter)

>

>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>**Tier 2 Benchmarks:**

>

>Frequency: Masturbates once or twice a day, most days

>

>Time: n/a (doesn't matter)

>

>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>**Tier 3 Benchmarks:**

>

>Frequency: Masturbates either every other day, or 3 days a week.

>

>Time: records time consistently (time itself doesn't matter)

>

>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>**Tier 4 Benchmarks:**

>

>Frequency: Masturbates either every other day, or 3 days a week.

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 5 minutes

>

>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>*Note: from this point and below, the requirement for every tier is "Frequency: Masturbates either every other day, or 3 days a week, not more."*

>

>**Tier 5 Benchmarks:**

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 90 seconds

>

>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>**Tier 6 Benchmarks:**

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 60 seconds

>

>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person w/o penetration

>

>Physical stimulation: n/a (*Can be anything, though this is a good place to casually practice a "loose" grip (penis) or less intense or indirect vibrations (if you have a pussy and use a vibrator).*)

>

>*Note: from this point and below, the phrase "a single person" refers to "a single person per video or image." You are keeping to softcore, not fixating on a single individual.*

>

>**Tier 7 Benchmarks:**

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 45 seconds

>

>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person wearing SOME clothing on top and bottom (can be underwear or swimsuit)

>

>Physical stimulation: masturbates with thumb, index finger and middle finger only (penis) or fingers only (vagina)

>

>**Tier 8 Benchmarks:**

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 30 seconds

>

>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person wearing street clothes

>

>Physical stimulation: masturbates with two fingers only (index finger and thumb or index finger and middle finger) (penis) or 1 finger only (vagina)

>

>*Note: from this point and below, the phrase "street clothes" is subjective. My metric is "an outfit that wouldn't get you kicked out of a typical restaurant where families are present"*

>

>**Tier 9 Benchmarks:**

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 20 seconds

>

>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person wearing street clothes

>

>Physical stimulation: masturbates with two fingers only (index finger and thumb or index finger and middle finger) (penis) or 1 finger only (vagina)

>

>**Tier 10 Benchmarks:**

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 10 seconds

>

>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm without visual stimulation

>

>Physical stimulation: masturbates with one finger only (penis) or with a make up brush only (vagina)

**Using the Tiers**

Again, the method / pattern is as follows:

1. Take stock of where you currently are.

2. Find the highest tier you're in based on the benchmarks

3. Use that tier to set specific, concrete goals

4. Work towards those goals in the following order:A. TimeB. Visual stimulationC. Physical stimulation

5. When you reach a new benchmark, start the steps over

6. When (not if) you hit a plateau, follow the "plateau procedure"

For the purposes of this guide, you want to look at the HIGHEST number tier for which you hit ALL the metrics. That is the tier you are "on." One tier below that is the tier you are "working towards."

Note that I say you need to hit ALL the metrics to be ON a given tier. What happens if you hit some metrics for one tier, but not all the metrics? As you'll see, this will often be the case, and that's a good thing. In every case, you are considered to be on the HIGHEST number tier for which you hit ALL the metrics; hitting some metrics for lower tiers is great, but doesn't mean anything in terms of your programing.

For example, lets look at tiers 5 and 6

>**Tier 5 Benchmarks:**

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 90 seconds

>

>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

&#x200B;

>**Tier 6 Benchmarks:**

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 60 seconds

>

>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person w/o penetration

>

>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

Lets say you time yourself and are able to cum in 54 seconds while looking at hardcore BDSM porn. You are in Tier 5, working towards tier 6, because while you meet the time metric for tier 6 (good job!), you don't yet meet ALL the metrics.

Let's look at a more extreme example.

>**Tier 3 Benchmarks:**

>

>Frequency: Masturbates either every other day, or 3 days a week.

>

>Time: records time consistently (time itself doesn't matter)

>

>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>**Tier 4 Benchmarks:**

>

>Frequency: Masturbates either every other day, or 3 days a week.

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 5 minutes

>

>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)

>

>**Tier 7 Benchmarks:**

>

>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 45 seconds

>

>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person wearing SOME clothing on top and bottom (can be underwear or swimsuit)

>

>Physical stimulation: masturbates with thumb, index finger and middle finger only (penis) or fingers only (vagina)

Let's say you consistently masturbate to images of a single person wearing some clothing on top and bottom, like underwear or a swimsuit. Great! You have only recently started timing yourself, and you average about 8 1/2 minutes to climax, with a best-ever time of 5:24.

You are doing awesome, but for the purposes of programing, you should consider yourself at Tier 3, working towards Tier 4. This isn't to diminish your work cumming to less intense visual stimulation! But this guide is about learning to cum faster. Following the tier system, you can stop worrying about less intense visual stimulation for a while, and focus on getting your time down for a while.

Again, as a reminder, this guide isn't one-size fits all. If you think this concept is shit, do whatever you want! I'm not your mom (unless I've explicitly told you to call me Mommy) and you can do whatever you want to do. But this is the GENERAL advice and programing I'd give to a person who wants to achieve the specific goals I outlined above. If you want something else, do something else, I won't be offended.

**Moving Up In Tiers**

**Tiers 1 - 3**

Your goal here is to work from masturbating many times a day to once every other day, or 3 days a week on scheduled days each week. (Either is fine in my opinion -- every other day is probably sightly better in general, but every 3 days can make overcoming plateaus easier so it's mostly a wash.)

* for one week, keep track of how many times you masturbate. (Generally this means orgasm, but if you do a lot of edging, count each 30 minute block as one time)

* At the end of the week make a total for the week.

* Multiply the total by .9. That is your new weekly maximum.

* Divide by 7 to get a daily maximum, if you want to

* for each following week, multiply THE WEEKLY MAXIMUM by .9 to get a new weekly maximum

* Do not multiply the number of times you masturbated by .9, I don't care about that number at all. Reduce the amount you masturbate by as much as you like. Drop down to 3x a week on week 2 if you want. But your weekly maximum goes down by 10% each week regardless.

* You are done with this sequence when you consistently masturbate every other day / on 3 scheduled days a week for 3 consecutive weeks.

*Walking, exercise, and hobbies Side-note*

For people that I coach who masturbate A LOT, their masturbation is often a way of numbing difficult emotions. Simply dropping down in frequency without doing anything else tends, in my experience, to fail spectacularly.

If you masturbate more than 7x a week, you should follow the following sequence as you follow the above sequence:

* when you determine the number of times a week you masturbate, also keep track (precisely or loosely, guesstimates are fine) of the number of MINUTES you masturbate

* As you reduce the number of times you masturbate, you are REQUIRED to replace at least 50% of that time (100% is optimal) with specific other activities.

* Walking is the default activity, and might be the best. This generally means going outside and walking, maybe listening to music or a podcast. If you can't decide, just do this.

* Other activities include any form of exercise, or any hobby where you look at your hands (drawing, journaling, sculpting, ship-in-a-bottle are ok; video games and surfing the internet do not count for this requirement)

**Tiers 4 and beyond**

Again, the method / pattern is as follows:

1. Take stock of where you currently are.

2. Find the highest tier you're in based on the benchmarks

3. Use that tier to set specific, concrete goals

4. Work towards those goals in the following order:A. TimeB. Visual stimulationC. Physical stimulation

5. When you reach a new benchmark, start the steps over

6. When (not if) you hit a plateau, follow the "plateau procedure"

We've now covered 1, 2, and 3. Now we'll work on 4, 5 and 6.

**4A. How to lower your time**

This alone is a helpful and simple method, and I bet some of you who think this guide is WAY too complicated can still benefit from this approach. Here's what you do.

Note: should be self-explanatory, but the following is intended for people who are in tier 4 or higher. If you are masturbating 3x a day, godspeed, but this will probably not be super effective.

Solo Method:

Week 1

* each time you masturbate, time yourself with a STOPWATCH

* \- the timer begins when you touch your genitals, even through clothes (this is to prevent cheating by doing a lot of stimulation through your jeans or whatever, which is counterproductive)

* \- You can look at stimulating stuff at other times, but this may cause you to go crazy or fall off the wagon (hard to advise if you don't have a partner)

* at the end of the week, average the times (add them up and divide by 3 or 4 depending)

* Multiply this number by .9 -- This is your new MAXIMUM TIME

For each following week:

* each time you masturbate, set a TIMER (not a stopwatch) for your MAXIMUM TIME.

* If you orgasm within the maximum time, great! (it's not required, but I think it's good to write down how long you took, eg {max time - time remaining on timer = session time\]

* if you do not orgasm within the maximum time, no problem! stop masturbating and wait until your next session.

* Generally, if you are following the structure, you will always cum either in the first session or the second session. This is considered "good progress"

* At the end of each week, multiply the week's MAXIMUM TIME by .9 to get next weeks new Maximum Time

* Generally there's no need to add up your times and find an average anymore, unless you find yourself consistently beating your maximum times by a huge margin (over 25%) FOR MULTIPLE WEEKS RUNNING.

* When your week's maximum time gets = to or lower than the maximum time for the Tier you are WORKING TOWARDS, set your max time at that time and keep it there.

*Partner Method:*

*As above, but with a partner you can generally go faster, especially if the partner is keeping you in a chastity device. Sometimes I will multiply the max time by other numbers, like .85 or .8, or arbitrarily drop down even lower -- and then in following weeks raise the time similarly arbitrarily. I find a more chaotic approach that trends downward is often more effective and makes my partner feel much more controlled and helpless.*

Within 2 weeks, you will either be cumming within the max time for the tier you are working towards, most of the time or all of the time, OR, you will be plateaued, only cumming every other time (and likely really frustrated).

If you are pretty consistently cumming within the max time for the tier you are working towards, keep your max time where it is and move on to decreasing visual stimulation.

If you are plateaued, do the following:

* time yourself with a stopwatch (not a timer)

* masturbate once, with the goal of cumming as fast as you can

* whatever time you get is your temporary max time, which will be consistent as you move on to decreasing visual stimulation.

**4B -** **Decreasing Visual Stimulation**

(This is identical to (but maybe slightly more detailed than) the much-misunderstood "Trigger Method" popular on this subreddit. I hate to even use that term, because people almost always get the wrong idea about what the word "trigger" means. So if you don't know what I'm talking about, just forget the word trigger.)

* keep your maximum time, as above.

* as above, if you don't cum within your maximum time, stop and wait for your next session

* Look at the requirements for visual stimulation for the tier you are working towards

* Before you start masturbating, pull up something along those lines in another window, browser tab, screen, whatever. We'll call this the LESS STIMULATING stuff.

* masturbate as normal to the stuff you normally masturbate to

* when you are close to orgasm, switch to the LESS STIMULATING stuff while you orgasm

* Over time, experiment with switching to the LESS STIMULATING stuff earlier and earlier in the session

* Eventually experiment with starting with the less stimulating stuff and looking at it the whole time.

* There is another more concrete method for this that involves two timers, but that is probably too much for most people's patience.

* DON'T: look at the less stimulating stuff to start with and switch to some other thing later.

* I don't really recommend making the LESS STIMULATING stuff something specific like belly buttons or feet or eye contact or fire hydrants if your goal is to decrease your time. (That can be fun for other games, but outside the scope of this specifci guide.)

* When you are consistently cumming to the less stimulating stuff, move on to decreasing physical stimulation

* If you go for several weeks making no progress -- consistently not cumming, or frequently only cumming on session #2 and not #1, you can move on to physical stimulation OR add time to your max time and start over.

**4C - Decreasing Physical Stimulation**

Much the same as above, but with physical stimulation.

* keep your maximum time, as above.

* as above, if you don't cum within your maximum time, stop and wait for your next session

* Look at the requirements for physical stimulation for the tier you are working towards

* masturbate as normal to the stuff you normally masturbate to

* while you masturbate, experiment with less intense grip/pressure/lower speed on vibrator

* when you are close to orgasm, switch to the LESS STIMULATING type of touching while you orgasm. Do this until you feel you are cumming normally/strongly with the less intense stimulation

* Over time, experiment with switching to the LESS STIMULATING grip/pressure earlier and earlier in the session

* (For people with vaginas, when you are moving from vibrator to fingers, take your time. This tier might be a huge challenge for you! That's fine, be patient, take it slow.)

* Eventually experiment with starting with the less stimulating grip or pressure the whole time.

* When you are consistently cumming to the less stimulating stuff, but are falling short of the tier you are working towards in terms of time or visual stimulation, return to those steps as above. It's okay for progress to be non-linear!

* If you go for several weeks making no progress -- consistently not cumming, or frequently only cumming on session #2 and not #1, you can move back to visual stimulation OR add time to your max time and start over.

Ok, I typed this all out without too much thinking about it or review. I'll probably return to it in a day or two to make refinements and possibly add examples for the last part. And obviously I'll need

Please sound off with questions, in the meantime.

And, good luck! I can't offer direct coaching, but I'd love to hear your progress in the comments.

\-Coach Sarah

[medicetwork]

Mercs if they had modern day cellphones!

Heavy:

The screen is too small and his fingers are too big.

The screen also tends to hurt his eyes after a while but he absolutely refuses to turn down the brightness, saying it would make it even harder to see than before

His main favorite functions are video calls with Medic or his family and listening to music.

His life is complete when he discovers E-books

He can’t read them on the screen but he loves being able to clean Sasha while having his favorite book read to him

Medic:

Really doesn’t use it for much else than phone calls and the occasional google search at first

When he discovers mobile games that takes his interest though!

He becomes a candy crush mom.

Oh you have a broken arm? Wellll…You can tough it out, champ. He’s on level 7,229 right now.

He would make all the other men get Life360

Scout:

Total social media zombie(I say as if I am not one)

Surprisingly he’s very popular on apps like Twitter and Tik Tok. People think he’s hilarious!

Unfortunately somewhere along the way he says something less than respectful about something and his account gets banned

Eventually he’s on account number 6 and trying to regrow his following

It never recovers

He finds out about NFT’s

Sniper:

Mainly uses it to watch youtube and play music

His phone is always on silent and Do Not Disturb

He loves those videos where those guys go out into the middle of the woods and just start building a fucking house out of clay and sticks.

He prefers texting to calling, finding it much faster(he just like me fr)

Baffled by just how much porn he has access to now….

But he’s not complaining.

Soldier:

He doesn’t use it because he just keeps breaking his phones.

They’ve been dropped, blown up, set ablaze, dropped in water, eaten by a bread-tumor monster, eaten by Soldier(???) and run over.

Even if they didn’t get destroyed within 3 days he still wouldn’t use it for much else besides setting alarms and sending confusing group texts.

However, with each new phone he has gotten he asks Pyro for stickers and sticker bombs his phone just for fun

Has an American flag wallpaper

Pyro:

Watches a lot of Youtube!

They love art tutorials, cooking tutorials and those videos with the guys that put molten hot metal balls into water and those videos of people crushing things in Hydraulic presses

Their search history is so fucking strange:

“my little pony free episode”

“my little pony movie free”

“how to draw clouds”

“gasoline cheap prices”

They follow Scout’s pages and always send him nice comments and like his videos

Engineer:

Loves listening to music and watching movies on his phone

Eventually learns how to code and make his own apps

This is also how he discovered he could jailbreak his phone and turn it into a universal remote for his sentries

Very slow texter

Uses way more emoji’s than needed

“Hello yall 👋🏻 going to the hardware store today 🔨let me know if yall need anything while im out👋🏻🚶🏼”

His most used app is the settings app

Spy:

Of course all of his phones are burners.

He never uses one for more than one week

Loves pirating movies on it and watching them in bed

He has no contacts. No personal information and keeps his location off at all times

Likes to pretend to be different people and play around with Google and Youtube’s targeted ads and algorithms

One day he’s an 86 year old woman that’s recommended nothing but metal bands and funeral home ads

The next week he’s four years old and getting recommended Mario and Minecraft let’s play videos

He uses twitter

He’s doxxed many people on Twitter

Like Scout he has MANY banned accounts and has also hacked and stolen many accounts

…He hacked one of Scout’s accounts and got it permanently banned

Demoman:

Loves watching Top 10 videos

Also loves having so much ease and access talking to his lads

He video calls his mother often even she just nags him the whole time and keeps accidentally hanging up

Is frequently texting the other team’s Soldier and laughing at what he says back

Uses Discord and Reddit and is in many servers and communities that focus on paranormal activity, urban legends and cryptids

Actually makes his own youtube videos searching for said cryptids

Frequently comments “cringe” under Scout’s posts

[eksvaized]

[ Stalker ]

>>> Ghost x Reader

You were Simon's guilty pleasure.

No matter the day, the time, or the hour, you were always in his mind and consumed his thoughts entirely, leaving no room for anything else.

He tried to reassure himself that he wasn't doing anything wrong. But deep down, he was well aware that he was allowing his dark side to take over him again, and this time - even if he didn't want to - he wasn't able to escape the darkness, which devoured him and kept him captive.

Simon knew his obsession wouldn't end well. It never did. But you intrigued him, and he wasn't strong enough to fight the allure.

The only interaction you two had so far was a one-night stand. After bumping into each other at the club, you invited him back to your place - he was gone by the time you woke up and you never saw him again.

But he saw you. Often.

Initially, he just followed you on all of your social media accounts using his burner account. However, staring at you through the screen didn't satisfy the hunger building inside him, and he grew bored with only just looking at pictures of you.

That's when he began driving to your apartment block, parking his car across the street and spying on your windows all night until the sun would rise up and he would be forced to leave because he didn't want to be seen by you or raise the suspicion of your neighbours.

Most of the time, your curtains were drawn - you liked your privacy and wanted to keep the noisy passerby out of your business. Sometimes, however, if Simon was lucky, you would forget to close them and he could watch you as you stripped your clothes off and changed into something more comfortable before going to bed.

Today, like usual, he parked his car under a broken lamp post and turned the engine off. Tonight was a special day though - he didn't want to be stuck just admiring you from afar anymore. He had other plans.

A knock on the door woke you up.

You blinked a few times while taking a glance around the living room. Even with the curtains closed and the sun gone, the moon's radiant light found a way through, painting the room in a delicate shade of grey.

You sat up and rubbed your eyes, before sliding your palm across the couch and fetching your phone to check the time.

2:00 AM.

Another knock.

You stood up and switched on the light. The room was chilly, so you reached out for the blanket, which was thrown on the edge of the couch, and wrapped it around your body, hoping it would warm you up.

Even though you weren't expecting anyone, you dragged yourself to the front door and opened it. You were surprised to see no one, but just as you were about to shut the door, your eyes traced over the ground and you noticed a neatly wrapped package.

You picked it up and looked to whom it was addressed. There was no name, but there was a handwritten note.

'To my love'

When you returned to the living room, you unwrapped the package and discovered a box of chocolates.

You had no clue who had brought them, but you figured that someone had just mixed up the apartment numbers and placed the package at the wrong door.

You didn't complain, though. Even if you should have returned the package to the intended recipient, there was no name, so you decided it wouldn't hurt to eat the heart-shaped chocolates with a sweet filling instead of throwing them away - they were, after all, your favourite; it was a lucky coincidence.

When you entered the bedroom and walked over to the window to draw the curtains, you spotted a car parked outside across the street. You didn't think much of it or the man sitting inside'; perhaps he was just waiting for someone.

And Simon was waiting, patiently, counting every second that ticked by. His finger tapped against the steering wheel, as his gaze kept shifting from the watch on his wrist to your now-dark window.

He knew you had to have retrieved the package by now. If he was lucky, you helped yourself and sampled the treats inside, too. And if his calculations were right, in about thirty minutes, you were going to pass out.

He waited and waited, shifting in his seat every few minutes, unable to keep still because the anticipation was oozing out of him as he envisioned all the different ways this night could end.

Simon lit one cigarette after another since it gave him something to do instead of allowing his thoughts to spiral, and get darker as they wandered to place and scenario, which he didn't want to imagine.

As much as he wanted to get out of the car and make his way back to your front door now, he forced himself to sit still as the time passed. He didn't want to spoil everything just because he couldn't hold his composure and gave in to his desires rather than thinking with his head.

Thirty minutes had passed. Then another ten, and finally he threw caution to the wind and decided to take a risk.

He strode inside the building and up the stairs, his heavy boots making no noise as he adjusted his skull mask - in all honesty, he didn't need to wear it, but he did, just in case.

Simon had taken care of all the cameras a month ago, and so they weren't an issue anymore. He could come and leave with nobody seeing him.

He grew heavy with anticipation that mingled with the excitement and thrill of being aware of the wrongness of his actions as he got closer and closer to your door.

This was not how he intended to see you again - sneaking into your apartment late at night. But after your first encounter with him almost three months ago, he was not able to corner you again, no matter how hard he tried to instigate those accidental meetings, where you bump into each other, recall the fun you had last time and exchange phone numbers.

He tried to act normal for once. He really did. Because this time, he wanted to control his obsession and let the relationship develop as spontaneously as it could.

He went to the usual spots you hung around. He carefully considered what he was going to say to you before asking you out, but it seemed as if you were avoiding him. Of course, he knew you would never do such a thing. How could you?

After spending so long watching you, following you, hiding in the shadows, while keeping track of your every move and getting to know you from a distance, he knew you would never do anything like that on purpose. Not to him, not to anyone else.

Simon stopped at your front door. It was locked, but that wasn't going to stop him. He had learnt a number of skills in his life, and one of them was picking locks, which he used frequently, and which were going to come in handy now.

After he got inside and closed the door, he found himself in a dark hallway. Even though he had been here only once, he knew his way around, which meant he could stroll through the darkness without bumping into anything or knocking something over, causing you to wake up.

Despite his stature, he moved with surprising agility, gliding through the room without making a sound.

He saw a box of chocolates on the coffee table as he passed the living room. When he noticed it had been opened and half of the sweets were gone, the corners of his lips curved, and a sly smirk appeared across his face.

Simon became even more confident now that he knew his plan had worked and you were asleep in your bedroom down across the hallway.

He opened the door and scanned the room before his gaze spotted the bed and his eyes settled on you.

Your body was concealed under the blankets that were tightly wrapped around you, but he could see the outline of your body as your chest gently rose and fell.

He took a deep breath and walked inside, remembering not to open the door all the way since it would creak.

The smell of your sweet perfume was all over the place, overpowering him and sending his mind into a downward spiral.

You were sleeping. You didn't know he was here, and you will never find out. You would know if he...

No.

Simon shook his head. He wasn't going to do that. He couldn't. Not to you, and not like this.

As he approached your bed, he slowly sat down, keeping his eyes wide and fixated on you to make sure you were still sleeping and unaware of his presence.

He simply sat there watching you at first, unable to tear his eyes off of you. His glance swept across your face, examining your dark lashes, parted lips, and flushed cheeks. You were flawless, without a trace of a single imperfection.

Simon leaned forward, dipped his head and softly pressed his lips to your forehead. He was about to kiss you when he stopped himself and drew back.

He raised his hand and tucked the sheet down, revealing more of your face and letting the fabric drape just below your collarbone. His hand trailed across your jaw before brushing a few loose hair strands.

Your skin was so soft.

As you laid there, unaware of his presence, lost in a blissful slumber, wrapped in warm blankets, you looked angelic. The soft moonlight filtering through the window only enhanced your beauty, making your skin glow.

For almost an hour he didn't leave you, but the sun began to rise and he knew he was running out of time. You will wake up soon. If you would find him here in your apartment sitting on the edge of your bed, you would freak out and he refused to ever do anything that would upset you.

He forced himself to stand up and was about to leave when his gaze was drawn to your phone; its corner was sticking from underneath the pillow.

You awoke many hours later, around midday; for the first time in a long time, you had slept through all of your alarms.

You took your phone and unlocked it.

That's when you discovered a photo of yourself asleep that appeared to have been taken earlier tonight.

A shiver raced down your spine, and you froze, letting the phone slip out of your hand and fall to your lap. Your eyes darted around the room. Everything appeared to be in place and looked to be the same as it did before you went to bed.

You lived alone. You didn't have a roommate, and no one, but you, had the keys to your apartment.

As you attempted to slow down, your mind was racing with possibilities. Your heart was hammering loudly in your chest, and only one question kept swirling around, causing chaos in your head.

Who took that picture?

[nanamiya3]

toji and a germaphobe!!

toji x gn reader - mentions of killing ppl bc toji is big and mean and scary - pet names (darling, baby) - reader is a germaphobe/has a fear of contamination - fluffffff - wc. 2.6k

nature documentary toji is back i will never stop pushing this agenda. also i love toji sm but i just know he is a slob lolol (i found this in my notes app from like a year ago pls enjoy)

—

Bachelor Toji’s apartment is littered with unwashed dishes, rumpled bedsheets, and old boxes of takeout. He’s never learned how to clean—having grown up in the Zen’in clan meant there was always someone picking up after him, even with how horribly they treated him—and he was always a little too wild to care about looking prim and proper. Now that Toji’s on his own, he’s too busy taking jobs to spend much time at home anyways. The mess and grime don’t bother him since he’s only really home on the rare occasion to sleep and fuck, and the lack of sanitation certainly doesn’t bother his conquests, who are usually too lost in Toji to get lost in the clutter.

But then, he starts dating you.

As a Grade A germaphobe, you nearly faint when you walk into Toji’s apartment for the first time. You’re nothing short of shocked, springing into action immediately: rushing to pull aside the curtains to let light in, opening up the windows to air out the area, picking the clothes off his couch, straightening up the animal figurines on the bookshelf. You’re chewing on your bottom lip, wondering how Toji’s been living like this while the man in question just watches your lip disappear between your teeth, again and again.

Toji thinks he might be going insane, because he keeps feeling weird things when he’s around you. For starters, he feels embarrassed right now, concerned about your reaction to his apartment. He’s never given the mess in his apartment much thought, but right now you’re giving him the weird urge to clean, to make you think highly of him. But Toji thinks this all stems from the weirdest fact of all: the fact that he’s crazy about you.

Toji’s never wanted to actually stay with someone before—his life has always been a string of casual hookups, and that was how he preferred it. With you though, his mind turns to mush, and he thinks he’d do anything you asked. When Toji first saw you at the old dive bar downtown, he knew he wanted you next, beginning his incessant flirting and using the rugged look he always had after a week-long job to his advantage. You’d fallen for his tricks—the good ones always do—but politely declined his invitation to spend the night, looking flustered but staying firm. Normally, Toji would have just cut his losses and went home, waiting for the wire transfer to hit his account while browsing through the Nature channel for any new documentaries. But something inside Toji kept him there, nodding off the rejection, flashing you an unfair smile while murmuring “ ‘s all right darlin’ ” and continuing to charm you. And then, at the end of the night, Toji surprised himself: before walking off, he gave you his phone number. This time, unlike all the other times, Toji pulled out his real phone—not the latest cheap burner phone in his pocket he’d received for his most recent job, but his personal phone—and opened up the contacts app, showing you his full name and phone number. You’d typed his information into your own phone, sending him a small “hi!” to confirm it worked. And when Toji looked down at his messages app and saw your cute little text floating among all the other threads of inquiries into his… services, he felt an odd kick in his heart.

So, now you’re in Toji’s apartment a few weeks later, and this trained killer is feeling… ashamed? Yes, he admits to himself, he is ashamed of his cleanliness (or lack thereof) and would like to clean up his apartment before you start trying to do his laundry.

“Do you have gloves anywhere?” You ask him, surveying his kitchen with your hands on your hips.

“Err….” Toji’s trying to rack his brain for the last time he wore gloves - maybe the time he was sent to Osaka to kill a man and didn’t want blood under his nails; maybe the time he robbed a safe and didn’t want to leave any prints behind; maybe the time he—

Toji coughs, a twinge of embarrassment running through his body. “No, darlin’. Don’t think I’ve got any gloves here.”

“Hmm..” You’re chewing on your lip again, and Toji watches like a lost dog. “I really want to get this apartment clean, but I’m kind of particular about what touches my skin. Do you know where your cleaning supplies are?”

“Uhh…” Toji‘s now trying to think of the last time he cleaned in his apartment - maybe the time he threw away one of the moldy boxes of rice in his fridge; maybe the time he took out the trash and recycling (the recycling bin contained more trash than the actual trash bin); maybe the time he—

No, you asked about cleaning supplies, Toji reminds himself. Toji wasn’t using actual cleaning supplies in any of those examples, he was just throwing shit away. In fact, Toji’s not even sure if he has cleaning supplies.

“Well…” Toji clears his throat. “Think there might be somethin’ under that sink there, remember seein’ some bleach or somethin’ after signin’ my lease.”

The two of you peer underneath the kitchen sink, a single bottle of Ajax greeting your hopeful stares.

Yeah. Toji is feeling real fucking embarrassed right now.

“… Never really learned how t’clean,” Toji mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. “… We could go out n buy the good stuff… Just need ya t’point it out f’me.”

You nod quickly, clasping your hands in front of your chest. “Great! That would be amazing,” you chirp, bright smile on your face.

So, Toji walks you down to the market on the corner of the street, watching diligently as you point out the different types of cleaners used on different surfaces, the various brushes and sponges he might want for scrubbing dishes and toilets and whatnot. He listens intently as you explain which disinfectant wipes are most reliable, the detergents you prefer, and the technology behind the available vacuums.

“—and I prefer these gloves, since they’re less rough than some other brands. They’re also soft on the skin and don’t tear easily, and the fact that they’re a solid color makes me feel more reassured than a clear model.. Something about clear gloves makes me feel like they don’t actually prevent germs, and then I think my hands are contaminated, even though I know they’re not—” You ramble on, motioning to the packs of gloves on the shelf.

When the two of you finally walk out of the store, Toji’s arms are decorated with three bags of cleaning supplies and you’re both marching back to Toji’s apartment with a renewed vigor.

You and Toji get to work immediately - you list off orders and Toji follows them to the T. The gloves end up being too small for Toji, so you make him swear to wash his hands after touching anything remotely dirty, your fear of contamination causing your mind to spiral at the idea of Toji’s hands tracking bacteria over things you’d then unwittingly touch.

As Toji deep cleans his apartment with your help, he learns cleaning techniques he’s never even heard of before. For example, Toji had never thought to clean his dishwasher, assuming it was just one of those things that would always be clean. When you show Toji how to combine vinegar and baking soda to clean out the pipes in his bathroom, he looks downright fascinated—like every 8th grader after seeing their science teacher perform the vinegar-baking soda experiment. And, when you explain each of the settings on his washer and dryer unit, Toji is completely in awe of the technology at his fingertips—really? His washing machine lets you pick the water temperature? And it has a special setting for blankets and bedsheets?

Toji also makes a few important revelations about garbage disposal. He’s about to toss the bag of trash down the recycling chute when you stop him, small hand gripping his wrist urgently. You tug his arm with the trash away from the recycling, quickly teaching him the difference between trash and recycling by listing off the items that can be recycled: paper, cardboard, plastic bottles, etc… Pointing to the different trash chutes, you single out the ones dedicated to recyclable materials: there’s the compost area, a glass drop-off bin, the plastic bottle chute, a box for bottle caps, the cavernous channel for cardboard…. And during your rushed lecture, Toji listens to every word, a focused look on his face as he reads the labels and signs organizing the garbage disposal room.

A few weeks later, Toji will go out and buy extra garbage bins for his apartment, sticking labels on the collection bins and scribbling down the intended category of waste. You’ll be shocked when you find the organized garbage system in Toji’s kitchen, a warm bloom of pride striking your chest. For now though, he promises to differentiate between his trash and recycling and to divide up his recyclables into even smaller and more differentiated piles.

After a long day of cleaning is finished and three loads of laundry have been thoroughly laundered, Toji’s apartment looks amazing and he considers himself a changed man. His Planet Earth DVDs have been dusted, the kitchen sink is empty, the six-month old burger in the back of his fridge has been disposed of, and his bathroom smells suspiciously…. good? He’s extremely proud of himself for how hard he worked today—seriously, he’s taken jobs easier than this—and to celebrate, the two of you pick up some ice cream and share it over a documentary about lizards.

When you officially move in a few months later, traces of your influence become visible in every room. First, your candles start popping up in all odd places: one on the bookshelf, three sitting in the kitchen, another on the nightstand, a few in the bathroom, and two in the living room. Toji loves it because the sweet fragrance reminds him of you, and it’s certainly much better than the thick, stale air he used to live in. Then, you teach Toji how to cook, so when dinnertime hits, the apartment starts smelling more like stir-fried veggies and fresh cooked rice. The fridge is now routinely stocked and cleaned, and Toji is still amazed every time he opens up the door and finds very fresh, very not moldy fruit. His weapons are also now sorted and organized: the linen closet across your bedroom now houses Toji’s… job equipment. Before, the closet held half unraveled toilet paper rolls, so you consider it a marginal improvement. At least this way, you won’t shock yourself half to death after pulling open the cutlery drawer and finding a dagger next to the knives.

~

life with Toji! little sequences :)

~

The first time Toji coughs into his hands in front of you, you gape at him, looking like you’re about to faint. You usher him into the bathroom quickly, making him wash his hands as you demonstrate how to cough into your elbow. He watches intently, drying off his hands and copying the way you bend your arm and bring it up to your face. You nod excitedly, exclaiming, “Yup! That’s perfect!” as a smile spreads across his face, happy to have learned something new.

~

When Toji first sees you wearing gloves while using the vacuum, he’s a little confused - is the vacuum contaminated as well? He decides it must be important to you, so he doesn’t question it, instead asking if you’d prefer he also wear gloves when he uses the vacuum. You’re chewing on your lip nervously, and Toji tugs on your chin gently to stop you from digging into the skin any harder. While you don’t want your own rules about contamination to impose on Toji’s life, you do think it would put you at ease to know that the apartment’s safe from cross-contamination with the vacuum.

So, you mumble out that you’d prefer if Toji either wore gloves while dealing with the vacuum and discarded the gloves before touching anything else or if he washed his hands immediately after using the vacuum. Toji doesn’t make any of the invalidating comments you’ve learned to expect— “The vacuum is perfectly fine, you’re overreacting” or “I’m not doing all that because you think you’ll get sick or something” —instead he just nods, murmuring “of course baby,” understanding written all over his face.

And that alone makes you heave a small sigh of relief. You’re not sure why or how to describe it, but something about touching the vacuum causes your mind to spiral over the potential contact with the dirt and grime collected inside the machine. Since you’re pretty sure scrubbing the thing with hot water and soap would probably cause some sort of malfunction within the wiring, you suffice with gloves and hand soap. Knowing that Toji will help you in your efforts to reduce contact and contamination with the vacuum puts you at ease, thankful for his easygoing manner.

~

The first time Toji tries to kiss you, you freak out. Something about the idea of someone else’s spit mixing with your own makes you shudder, and not in a good way. He’d leaned in, you’d immediately covered your face with your hands, and the silence in the room became deafening. You started to apologize, stumbling over your words as you tried to explain your aversion to “bodily fluids,” and Toji nodded, reassuring you that it was okay—he would wait as long as you needed. You honestly think you might never get over your fear of kissing, but then you kiss Toji for the first time just to get it over with and you’re absolutely melting into him. Your face is on fire as you pull away, but Toji doesn’t let you reel back too far before tugging you in for seconds. He eases you into kissing slowly, letting you get used to the sensation of small, closed-mouth kisses before gradually adding in tongue. And with someone like Toji as your partner, you soon find yourself worrying less about the exponential transfer of bacteria and more about when the next transfer will occur.

~

Toji’s just finishing up a job, wiping the muzzle of his gun against his shirt as he scans his surroundings. He sighs when he realizes he’s going to need to move the body, muttering under his breath about bacteria and filth as he roughly drags his target away. He checks underneath his fingernails for any traces of dirt or blood once he’s back out on the street, pulling out the travel-size hand sanitizer you gifted him to clean off his hands. Toji plans to head straight home to you, so to prevent any worrying on your part about contamination or germs, he massages the sweet-scented anti-bacterial gel into his skin. When he does get home though, grinning at how much of you he can sense in his apartment, he washes his hands again, changing into clean clothes before helping you with dinner.

~

Toji’s so grateful to you for being so patient and teaching him so much about taking care of himself. He proudly considers himself a changed man, surprising you by wrapping his loving arms around you whenever possible and relishing in the way you squeak in surprise. He! Loves! You! So! Much!!

—

your honor, this is not weaponized incompetence. he’s just incompetent.

[party-tower-au]

THE FUTURE OF THIS ACCOUNT...?

ok whats good guys. this account died our apolocheese both me (jeb) and sal are adults with lives and severe unmedicated adhd but we're not here to give excuses on why we've been lacking we're here to give YALL an ULTIMATUM for our posts - we want to know what kind of content yall want ( poll + more info below )

i realize most people followed us interested in only this specific au and i respect that! id be kinda miffed too if i followed someone for a specific interest and it wasnt what i expected. however, neither me nor her have been working on the au or answering asks actively much as we get distracted easily and have a bunch of other interests / things in the way though we still really love pizza tower and the au we've been making! we still think of it from time to time, and it's been making us feel kinda bad about the radio silence on this account so why not find some compromise to keep making content so this account doesnt go stale? party tower au will not go away, simply it'll be put on the back burner - less focus on it specifically and more posts about other pizza tower aus sal and i have cooked up together. there is SO much we've drawn of our aus that we haven't shown anyone! we have so much to offer - here's a taste of some our other au stuff!

but that's just a taste of what we have stored away... !! if you're interested in more of this, why not vote? going the multi au route also opens up possibilities of crossovers, not only with other aus but other media in general (see our dark souls au + fear and hunger au) either way hopefully we can get back to work on this account! have a pizzarific day yall and thanks for sticking around 💕

-jeb

[princess-of-the-corner]

Was musing on the "Aware of Abuse" AU for the Sad Rich Kids Trio and ho it influences their behavior, or how their perspective has shifted, from least to most detailed:

Adrien: He is not overtly super different, in canon he was already expressing frustration with his father and ducking out from under his control to do what he wanted.

The main shift is rooted in his perspective. Namely that if his father does love him (Doubt) then his love is so toxic Adrien wants no part of it. He deems any concession Gabriel makes suspicious at best and deems any lingering affection on his own part as a childish thing he needs to outgrow.

Beyond that he's simply more blunt, he doesn't make excuses for his father and is a bit more aware of how the other kids parenting sucks. This ironically may actually make it harder for he & Marinette as she'd struggle to see what was wrong early on and presume him kind of a brat or rude for disrespecting his father so much.

Kagami: As one might expect given how heavily controlling and authoritive Tomoe is, Kagami has very little wiggle room to openly defy her or act differently without risking being trapped or extremely harsh punishment,

As a result the shift is more in subtle things and how she communicates and views the relationship. Namely, she does not love her mother and only pays lip service to respecting anything other than her material skills as a combatant. She also feels that given what her mother does to her is largely indistinguishable from hatred (The physical nature of sparring sessions & training are deeply unpleasant) that Tomoe's feelings don't matter.

Thus she's more overt around others in her disregard for her mother and already prone to trying to sneak off or undercut her. She has burner phones and secret social media accounts for example. In this regard she likely does not become Riposte.

Instead her emotions would be mostly fear of her mothers reaction & anger at the situation and what this costs her in general. Thus she likely turns into something intent on seeking her mother out and attacking her, or otherwise trying to force her mother into her shoes. I had a name for this I think, Aku-Gami? Anyway its basically a signal flare to Adrien & Chloe of "One of us! One of us! One of us!"

Chloe: Like with Adrien her shift would be fairly recent. Mostly in response to the clusterfuck handling of Adrien after Emilie's disappearance & her parents being their worst selves about it. She was on her last thread from keeping Adrien's head above water then being booted and so she explodes at her mother over the phone & rejects her father out of anything but necessity. After which she doubles down because she can't un-dig this hole but she can sure as fuck make it big enough to engulf them all.

Put simply, Chloe's ingrained "Fight" mentality has now been turned on her parents in full. She'd still struggle to articulate most of the things they did wrong, or why they were wrong. But she is angry, rebellious and good at lashing out so she does that and only concedes when she has no other choice or legitimately terrified.

Despite this her changes are less overt, her fight mentality is a survival mechanism like Adrien's people pleasing so she can't just turn it off. She's still been actively taught a lot of terrible things like its moral to cheat to win, & un-learning that is hard, especially if doing so makes you feel weak. & She's been mimicking Audrey since forever, that doesn't just go away over night.

At the same time though she has more freedom than the others & any overt issues she can identify she can try to address for good & ill. Her dad thinks she shouldn't hang around with people "beneath her station" Well screw that she's throwing a party in the ballroom for the class/school before the new school year starts & Adrien can come too.

This likely means she doesn't rip up Rose's letter cos that was like, peak Audrey. She might be tempted to do the social media thing with Kim cos that is something someone might do, but she'd also be more able to apologize for it. She may indeed still lock Juleka in the bathroom, unless they are like, actively friendly at this point.

A lot depends on how well her shifts in behavior are taken by the class as she's not gonna suddenly be super self aware or easy to get along with in many regards. Though given S1 still had Kim get a crush on her & Rose trust her with a letter, I tend to feel it makes more sense that not everyone had a bad impression of Chloe going into the year. So it'd vary.

Regardless, Chloe would be both the most extreme in shift, while keeping a lot of thorns. But she'd be more open to changing in general if able to contextualize a negative reaction as tied to something her parents would do, letting her aggressively reject it. If she feels 'she' was in the right though, she'd not shift her behavior at all but dig in deeper.

Fucking hell I do go on don't I?

Oh I love all of this though!!

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana HCs: M6 on social media

Julian

He is on all the apps, you name it, he probably uses it

He's on theatre kid tiktok

Shamelessly posts thirst traps with niche references

Too many of them are doctor inspired

Perfectly understands the female gaze and takes full advantage of that

Embraces the cringe

Malak regularly photobombs his posts and there are multiple compilations of him fighting off/cussing out a shrieking crow

He canonically has a beautiful singing voice that he does not know how to use, voice coaches love duetting and reacting to him because it is so impressively terrible

He also needs to be carefully monitored though, for two main reasons:

One, all his posts need to be reviewed before he posts them, because he's terrible about internet safety

Two, because everyone gets hate comments and he already has nasty self-esteem issues

Portia gets into so many fights in the comments on her burner account

He is quite popular and has a large and dedicated following

Asra

As much potential as they have for stardom, they are an extremely private person and they are very aware of what kind of place the internet can be

He probably has BeReal and spends most of his time on SnapChat (you know he loves watching drama unfold)

Also has a very aesthetically pleasing Instagram that they forget exists. Scroll through and you'll see random photodumps of all the places they've traveled recently, spaced six months apart

Faust has her own account

He is the type to lurk, never comments, rarely likes, prefers to save something for later to show his friends in person instead of sharing or tagging them

They do love trying out what they see though, like viral pasta recipes and room lighting ideas

Except he'll add his own flashes of creativity as he goes

Sometimes it pays off, like when they got their whole living room to feel like an oasis

Sometimes it doesn't pay off, like when he tried an already sketchy viral food hack and added charcoal

They don't mind integrating social media into in-person situations, if the only thing you have energy for is cuddling up in a pillow pile and scrolling through saved videos together, they're down

Nadia

Facebook and LinkedIn

She's trying her best, she really is, but she has places to be and things to do and she'd rather spend her free time with the people she loves or getting some well-earned rest

The screens also contribute to her headaches

All her sisters are older than her, she has Facebook to keep up with them

She doesn't know that most of them keep with the times enough to have accounts on other platforms as well

She uses LinkedIn for networking, obviously

She does enjoy being entertained though! She loves it when you tilt your phone screen towards her so she can see whatever made you smile or laugh

Regularly asks you or Portia to show her everyone else's most recent posts

Julian's tiktok page is a mystery that never fails to make her laugh

She loves to be included in your posts and is always willing to pose with you for a selfie

She is a fantastic camera woman, she can follow angles and lighting like nobody's business

She does not know how to write captions

Muriel

He doesn't have one until you or Asra sit him down and walk him through the process

He chooses Instagram because he can see cat pictures that way

And because it's the platform most of you guys have an account on, so he can keep tabs on everyone

He has all of his privacy settings enabled

Most of his posts are pictures of Innana or the chickens (mostly the chickens)

No captions, ever

Every now and then someone from the Kokhuri will stumble across his profile and send a message request

He'll wait until you're free to sit with him while he messages them

He's slowly putting a family tree together of the people he's made contact with

Heartily dislikes the reels feature, the constant stimulation puts him on edge

Honestly prefers YouTube, he got a great ad blocker and he watches nature compilations and wilderness survival videos

He also watches videos about wolves so he can take care of Innana better, but he has to be careful when he does that because if the wolf in the video howls she does too

He stumbled across a fan-made compilation of Julian's thirst traps once and refuses to speak about it

Portia

Snapchat for the gossip, Tumblr for all the novels she's become a fan of, and Instagram for Pepi and her garden and baking endeavors

She is on everyone's Snapchat story. If she spots someone new at her workplace she's already sending them a friend request

Tumblr is her guilty pleasure, she has spent hours in the library devouring novels and now she can read and write as much unhinged fanfiction as she wants to

She also loves interacting with other people who enjoy the books and characters she does

Fanart makes her squeal

She hasn't found out about AO3 yet but once she does it's over

Her Instagram is gorgeous. She posts once or twice a day with garden updates, candid shots of Pepi being precious, and baking tips and tricks

Her feed is full of the wanderlust hashtag and it's fueling her bucket list

She has a decently sized following and loves it when people message her

She also has a tiktok burner account to monitor her crazy older brother

Definitely stays on top of all the trends and incorporates them into her Instagram posts

Lucio

He wants to be famous, he really does, but everything he tries flops

Obsessed with tiktok, it's where the young people are

It's also perfect for his limited attention span

Constantly trying to hop on new trends, but always misses the mark ever so slightly

Tried to put the LED light strips up in his bedroom, but he couldn't keep them straight so they're all slightly wonky

Refuses to take them down

He fell down the "alpha male" pipeline once and it took so much work to get him back out, he was insufferable

You got Nadia and Asra to give him a good beat down while you went through his phone and deleted all the accounts that couldn't be saved

You only let him back on when he promised to share his accounts with you, and he agreed on the condition that you help him try to get famous

You suggested he post about the things he knows, like self-defense tactics and survival

He gets a boost when you post a video of him trying and failing to follow a tiktok dance tutorial while he uses increasingly creative language and it goes viral

He's got a small following now and he's so proud of both of you

[dollypopup]

i saw some wondering about what the major Season 3 conflict between Polin is going to be focused on and

y'all

it's Whistledown. It was ALWAYS going to be Whistledown

i think a lot of people look at Polin or S3 from Pen outward, as in, they focus on her perspective and her reasons and her justification and project that onto other characters, but the idea that Whistledown is just a minor bump in the road in Polin's love story is ridiculous. Colin's comment about not courting her can be resolved in a single episode. Hell, less than a single episode. A heartfelt apology, an 'I missed writing with you', a 'okay, I'll help you accomplish your goal of finding a husband this season' and it's wrapped up and tidy but Whistledown? Whistledown is the overarching conflict of Season 3. What to do with her, how people will find out, and how Penelope will grow beyond her (because she HAS to grow beyond her)

Whistledown is already the tension point between Eloise and Penelope, why do we think it won't be a problem between Pen and Colin? All her reasons and explanations aside, she has been keeping this secret from him for years. She has had plenty of opportunities to confide in him and didn't take them. She very clearly feels guilty (going so far as to tell him she doesn't deserve praise for her loyalty). Narratively speaking, if you look at LW from anyone else's perspective but Pen's, she's the antagonist.

And he falls in love with her. He falls for the antagonist. Who is also his friend. (GOD is that gonna be good)

Admittedly, it's more evident she's the antagonist when looking through Marina's eyes, or the Modiste she ran out of business, or The Queen, but even to him it still holds true. Just put yourself in Colin's shoes. Just for a second. Try it.

You have known this girl for years. You're friends. You trust her. You talk to her about everything, though she's a little shy to open up, herself. You write to her and confide in her. For three years, someone has been out there putting private business on blast to your ENTIRE community. (you can pick so many mediums here: a burner account on social media, a gossip article in the newspaper, a series of anonymous posts on the neighborhood watch app, a tea channel with an animated host and a voice modulator that namedrops to thousands of subscribers: doesn't matter) All the people around you, your sister, your family, your friend herself.

And one day, it's you. Your personal business out there for hundreds to see, to know. Your name smeared across the internet or in your general community. Your privacy that got taken away. It split you and your ex up. You can't go anywhere without your community looking at you a certain way. They know your name. Your face. The face of your previous partner who has to leave town in the aftermath. She listens as you lament about it. She does not come clean.

And then you find out: it was her. And she didn't tell you. She didn't ask if you wanted to be helped or written about. She didn't come to you in friendship, respecting your boundaries and your relationship. Does she get defensive about her actions? Does she justify them? Does she apologize?

you love her. and she hurt you.

do you forgive her?

the conflict has always been Whistledown

[cowgurrrl]

A come to Jesus talk with June

Alright, y’all some of you guys might’ve noticed I haven’t been as active on here especially when it comes to writing. Honestly, I’m in such a slump right now. Grad school is way harder than I thought it was gonna be and I’m still trying to get my feet under me in a new country with new friends and new work to do and writing hasn’t been something that’s come super easy recently. Therefore, I’m having a brief but very necessary break from fic writing. With everything going on with school, my org, my mag writing, and just life, I’ve been really stressed. I’m hoping to come back to it in a few weeks once I get a break because I do still have so many ideas and half-finished wips on the back burner that just haven’t been given the love they deserve. That being said, I would never leave y’all high and dry so here are some amazing writers/fics to binge during my break 😌

@pedrito-friskito’s Strawberry Wine: literally just go open the master list for this fic and tell me you don’t want to eat up every second of it. SW is/was a fic I read when I was still just kinda lurking on tumblr and not posting anything and it is beautiful. The way Kay writes is so intense and nuanced and incredibly, incredibly executed. I cannot recommend this series enough.

@swiftispunk’s Your Summer Dream: I think about this au at least three times a week because it is just that damn good!! It’s so fun and refreshing after reading so much angst and hurt/comfort to just have something a little sexy and heartfelt to read. Han is an absolute wordsmith and even though I’m recommending YSD, I truly recommend anything and everything she writes ever. Full stop.

@cupofjoel’s Keep It On The Low: DAMN I MEAN WOW this idea, this series, this writing is so impressive and hot and keeps you on your toes?? Not only that but it’s so emotional and soft and makes me say OW IVE BEEN SHOT I’m genuinely in awe of it every time there’s an update and I’m SO excited to see what happens next

@saintmurd0ck’s anything: Before I was a slut for Joel Miller, you better believe I was a slut for Matt Murdock and Frank Castle and THIS BITCH (affectionate) MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE Rhi’s account was also one I followed when I was still just lurking on tumblr and I love her work even though I haven’t fully regressed back to my Daredevil/Punisher phase (it’s coming (that’s what she said)) and I get so excited when I see her come out with something new 🥺

@softlyspector’s Adjustments: OW OW OW OW Adjustments reminds me of getting wrapped up in a warm blanket after you’ve been out in the cold in that it doesn’t completely take away the outside factors that have driven you to the comfort but goddammit if it soothe the ache a little. There’s so much angst but also so much love and comfort and found family and oshdkajdja i just love it GO READ IT NOW

@egcdeath’s Someone in The Crowd: take oftm but make it la la land coded and you get Someone in The Crowd!! It’s only one part but it’s so gorgeous and reflective and sweet?? I think it plays with tropes we don’t see very often in fic and that’s why it’s up here (Neptune, please come home from war the kids miss you)

Any and all of these writers are amazing and have great works outside of the ones I’ve recommended for you to read (and like and comment and share with them how much you loved them (support your local writer)) until I can get back to cranking shit out. Thank you for your patience and thank you to these writers and mutuals for constantly inspiring me to continue to create 🥺🩷 ilysm

[stormblessed95]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "stormblessed95 "?

I'm stormblessed because of this Ultra badass super sad boy right here.... Kaladin Stormblessed has my entire fucking heart for the rest of my life

Art by Ro

95 for vmin 🥰

Some of my favorite fics! In no particular order:

Blame it on my Youth by youreyestheyglow

Paring: Andrew/Neil

Fandom: AFTG

10 years after the end of The King's Men, Andrew and Neil have decided to foster a kid. They have low expectations for themselves--they're not exactly ideal parenting material--but at the very least, the kid will be safe with them. But neither Andrew nor Neil do temporary very well.

Full disclosure: highly character-driven, minimally plot-driven.

TW: If you suffer from paranoia, this is probably not the fic for you. Specifically, Neil has bunches of paranoia regarding being watched, and also being murdered.

Locked fic, so you need an account. Words: 1,520,605 and a WIP too.... Lmao I know....but it's SO GOOD. I'm just.... It's so damn good y'all. Basically just andriel growing and healing together, being so deeply in love, their adult lives and becoming parents and helping those children heal from their traumas too. Just gorgeously beautiful and I love it.

That Isn't Nothing by Taekookschanbaek

Pairing: Andrew/Neil

Fandom: AFTG

A look into the lives of pro exy players Andrew Minyard and Neil Josten. The world says they hate each other, but when Andrew gets transferred to Neil's team, their teammates begin seeing something else between them.

Words: 38,362, don't be thrown by the author name. I KNOW okay. But like damn, the fic is so fucking good. Ive read it multiple times. Its solid story telling with outsider POV and I just eat it up! Protective boyfriends and secret relationships and soft for each other moments. It's so good

The One-Body Problem by metisket

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

The good news is that Lan Jingyi has found a mentor, friend, and constant companion through the difficulties in life. The bad news is that that’s because he’s been accidentally possessed by the Yiling Patriarch.

This fic is SO GOOD I keep coming back to it all the time. It's got the juniors dynamics, it's got the most wholesome bonding stuff, it's got Jingyi being himself and so loveable. So wholesome. So cute. 10 outta 10 fic honestly. Words: 28,689

Rotten Work by @shanastoryteller

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

Jin Ling hadn’t thought to keep track of Wei Wuxian. Clearly that had been a mistake.

so good. Just amazing uncle and nephew bonding that gives me literally ALL OF THE FEELS. I read this and then went and read everything else this author has written. Such good storytelling!! And this was just both wholesome and emotional and fun! Amazing fic, truly. Words: 63,907

Stunted, Starving Juvenility by @tomatenmark5

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

At sixteen Wei Wuxian is—through some strange twist of fate, or a nick in the layer between parallel universes, who knows—out of the blue confronted with that one incense burner dream one night.

While his curious mind is left unable to stop poking at this new perspective on Lan Wangji, circumstances in the Cloud Recesses begin to change and Wei Wuxian is suddenly presented with life-altering opportunities.

Maybe Gusu isn’t so bad after all?

(Or alternatively: The fic where I get to give Wei Wuxian the academic scholarship he deserves while simultaneously getting him hitched early on.)

Might just be one of my all time favorite fics/stories. It's still technically a WIP but it's soo good. Don't let that stop you. It's so long too. But that's just even more story to love. I can't say enough good things lol words: 742,856 (I know, don't be intimidated though! Lol)

And Time is But a Paper Moon by Sami

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

"Zewu-Jun. You once told me about a house surrounded by gentians, where you visited once a month, and how Lan Zhan still waited there, even when the door no longer opened."

Xichen feels light-headed. He feels shocked, and angry. He has never told anyone such a thing, but Lan Zhan is giving Xichen a look of utter betrayal.

"You told him?" Lan Zhan whispers. "When?"

Wei Wuxian takes Lan Zhan's hand. "About twenty years from now."

***

Wei Wuxian starts again from the beginning.

My favorite time travel fix it fic. It's genuinely SO GOOD I love it and I love all the sequel stories that come after it!! Words: 139,032

The File by Denimbeans

Pairing: Percy Jackson/Bucky Barnes

Fandom: PJO, Marvel

When Percy stepped out of the elevator, Hazel wanted to weep. His clothing was tattered, hair matted with blood, and he was covered head to toe in golden dust. But he was alive. It took her a few minutes to realize that he was alone.

Before she died, she'd heard reports on the radio about soldiers who came home. Shellshock, they called it, from being in the trenches, the bombs and the bullets and the dead. Hazel had met soldier, once. A man who'd come home to her little town, missing half his leg and most of his mind. The look in his eyes was hauntingly similar to what she saw on her cousin's face.

Percy was different now. Stronger, maybe. He'd made it through Hell, but not without leaving a piece of him behind.

I honestly didn't know if I'd like this one when I started lol but I loved it. The ANGST WAS SO HEAVY AND SO GOOD. tw for annabeth not making it out of tarturus alive in this fic. PJO and Marvel/Shield mash up and honestly I'm just so down for badass Percy fics. Especially when we see him from another POV where he looks so scary but in his head he is the softest most traumatized boy. Percy is everything to me. Lol and I ship percabeth so hard so this was an outlier fic to me 😂 the blurb there is from the first story, I linked the whole series.

The One Where Nico Has 30 Boyfriends by a_million_stars

Pairing: Nico/Will

Fandom: PJO

“Seriously? Me and Lester?” Nico looked ready to kill him. “If you keep speaking to me I think I’m going to throw up.”

Or, a new friend from college desperately tries to figure out who Nico's secret boyfriend is. He messes up. A lot. If only Nico didn't have so many weirdly close friends from high school.

Just wholesome adorable cuteness with some outsider POV, which y'all should be able to tell I LOVE by now

Mortals, Meet Demigods by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays

Pairing: Annabeth/Percy, Nico/Will

Fandom: PJO

Life isn’t easy for any teenager, but when you’re half-god, the word “easy” loses all meaning. Nine different mortals start to understand that.

Just cute wholesome outsider POV into the most precious of characters

Like Everything Glows by Annie_vi

Pairing: Jimin/Jungkook

Fandom: BTS

Jeon Jeongguk watches the sun rise and set on the water every day without wondering what may lie far beneath the surface. One nighttime walk along the beach upheaves his entire life, sending his human morals into a tailspin as he questions what his beliefs really are.

The first fic I read by Annie and still my favorite. I think about this story all the time lol. She is one of the very very few people I will read RPS fics from because her storytelling is just so immaculately beautiful. I love the way she writes. Truly. I need her to get published one day

@skygemspeaks retirement AU thread and every single fic it sparked inspiratiom for.

Seriously they linked TONS of them under their post and I read and obsessed over every single one and then went looking for more. Lmfao

Pairing: Yuuri/Victor

Fandom: Yuuri on Ice

Link to their Tumblr post:

Wrapping it up with @pekgna illustrated coffee shop AU that I'm so obsessed with.

Pairing: Shallan/Adolin/Kaladin

Fandom: Stormlight Archive

OT3 when Shallan and Adolin seduce Kaladin, their barista into becoming their boyfriend lol just perfection and adorable and the art is amazing!

Link to the start of the AU on Tumblr here:

Enjoy if you read them, let me know if you like them!!! And always feel free to give me fic recs as well especially if you want to send them to my side blog where I try to keep most of my conversations about books and fics now. My anon asks are on there. I've reblogged a few over there too. @moonofthesurvivor

[mysteriousanderfels]

They don't really care about us

On a normal morning day, Leon Kennedy is ambushed by a strange man in a suit...

Setting: Following RE8's epilogue.

***

“Hello?”

“Hi, mom. How are you?”

“Oh, hi, honey! I’m fine! How are you?”

“I’m fine, too.”

“Oh, it’s good thing you called, I’ve meaning to do so! Mike’s birthday is coming soon, you know! He’s planning this big party at home and I really want you to come! Don’t bring your swimsuit though, I’m planning to drain the pool, hah! He doesn’t want a chaperone around so I will not deal with the shenanigans of three dozen college students!”

“Hah, yeah… Mom, do you remember what we talked about in Switzerland?”

“… Oh. Yes…?”

“Good. Remember it well?”

“… Yes… So it’s that time, then…”

“Yes.”

“Aah… your brother will be so upset. He’s been planning this party since he became the star of his football team with that final touchdown or whatever. Do you know just how many cheerleaders will be here? And he also wanted you to be here so much.”

“I know, but would you rather have him get his birthday party or have him by your side for a few more decades?”

“… I know. I understand very well.”

“I’m sorry mom. To be honest I could have given you more leeway but then it was your birthday last week and I didn’t want to spoil your spa day with your girlfriends.”

“Oh honey. I see. Well, at least I have more than a day to work with.”

“I can talk with Mike if you want.”

“Oh please, I raised a little 007, I think I can handle your little brother.”

“Heh, I have no doubt. I’ll try to keep in touch but as you know, it won’t be as often from now.”

“I know. You just… watch over yourself. That’s all I want. You be careful. Very careful, alright?”

“I will. It’s all… been coming down to this moment.”

“Then that’s all I need to hear, I believe in you, Kólen’ka.”

“Love you, mom.”

The nickname is a slip up, he knows, but it’s fine. They’re already being extra careful with the burner phones and they’re about to set the plan into motion. It would too late for someone to do anything about it.

And anyway, it was nice hearing it. 

***

If one can take a full scope of DC, they will see millions of things happening at once on that indolent autumn morning of September, where the air is crisp, the weather clear and mostly sunny despite the few gray clouds shrouding the sky on that particular day.

What you’ll see is people wearing boxy suit jackets and women wearing sensible skirts, pantsuits and pumps, milling about fake flagstones and ads-ridden subways. Some are carrying suitcases filled with cunning lawyers-crafted contracts about to make someone’s life amazing or miserable, and others are rolling backpacks to fend off the evil of scoliosis enumerated by those same subway ads...

You’ll also see more armored barricades because of the increase in impromptu protesters. Their hoarse-voiced chants drown the perimeter but never carry far enough to the monster in power and its minions. It only hurt the ears of the police officers in body armors, underpaid to deal with the zeal of a bunch of college students pumped on kale juice and coffee shakes so early in the morning.

The whole show is overcast by oversized windows streaked with night rain, humidity and tears.

Yes, for millions of people, DC is the city of better opportunities. The city of powerful monuments that inspire more awe than contemplation. The city that doesn’t take any risks. The city where you can’t get lost in because there’s nothing to lose yourself in.

And as a man observed from outside one of those oversized windows fixes his sleeve garters, It’s been decided it should be in DC where they should finally meet – where everyone is the same kind of nasty: feds.

***

Leon yawns as he walks the shortcut path to his appartement – the one with the liquor store in the way - grocery plastic bag in hand. It was Sunday and blissfully, nothing came from his meeting with Hunnigan at the office. Well, mission-wise at least; but if you take into account the heavy, cranky conversations and meetings he’s started getting from DSO’s hierarchy, he won’t be too quick to stamp ‘blissfully’ on the day just yet.

Something shifty’s going on there. Something has them on edge for a long while now and they can’t seem to just cut the shit and spill it. Chewing the fat with a bunch of feds in suits has never been Leon’s favorite part of his job. Leon snorted to himself. He should be counting his favorite parts of his job - he’d be wrapped up quicker than the other way around.

All depression-induced thoughts aside, something’s not sitting well for a couple of years now and it just keeps on getting more and more fishy - like a decaying corpse about to get finally busted.

What if I’m the decayed corpse, though…

They’re sending him on confidential ops and mission but still want him to never stray too far. They want him to investigate things but also never ask too much questions. To sum it up, it comes back to what he hates to admit and what everybody who knows him is aware of : They want him on an even tighter leash.

Leon grits his teeth.

Well fuck them. Leon is also having his own fishy thoughts. Thoughts about the DSO’s secret dealings with shady agencies, about Blue Umbrella not so squeaky clean and about what he heard from a certain on-going mission in Europe.

He’s drawing his conclusions, he’s cross-referencing his clues and mapping out his exists on the big pinboard inside his mind where it’s safe—since he can’t hazard having one in the privacy of his own flat.

Privacy… is what a goldfish probably have more than him.

"My obsession is to break away from all of this."

It’s a confession he uttered in the dead of the night once.

Is this what’s rattling them? Do they suspect something? Did Leon let something slip up on his glassy façade?

He is so caught up in his train of thoughts, he doesn’t notice the figure standing still twelve feet away in the middle of his path.  

It’s man in a suit.

Leon halts, perplexed for a minute by the stock-still stance as he takes him in because the individual is looking straight at him.

The beginning of a frown mars Leon’s features because it’s getting weird, but still doesn’t open his mouth yet for some reason.

The man starts fucking blinking at last and with that comes a smile that slowly brings life to a static face.

 “Leon Scott Kennedy?”

“… Who’s asking?” Leon starts fully registering his surroundings now.

light blond hair pomaded back. Medium length. Symmetric complexion, high cheekbones, high nose. Light eyes, blue or green, can’t tell from the distance. But freaking pale he could feel the icicles dripping from them as they bore into Leon.

Black suit, red tie, dress shoes – disadvantage there – and… metallic briefcase in the right hand.

The man is capable of facial expression as his eyes crinkle with his smiling reply. “My name’s Nicholas Wentworth.”

“Rings no bell.”

He smiles again with soft huffs, this time showing off a perfect row of teeth. “It won’t.” His voice carries like the music of rills. “But you on the other hand, you’ve been ringing every bell in my life.”

Huh? “Excuse me, what?”

“I’m sorry, I’m just,” the stranger shakes his head, looking almost embarrassed as he smiles to himself in a way that looks so youthful, Leon remembers to ponder the age of this weird as hell bloke who seems to want something with him.

And what a mistake that is. The guy looks rather young which puzzles and rattles Leon even more for he can’t evaluate the situation to a perfect turn. He’s got a fluffy blond mane but slicked the way it is, he reminds Leon of all the pompous new-money his superiors love to invite annually for some more funds and tax-deductible donations.

Maybe he was trying to make himself look older with that hairstyle and that obsidian fabric so expensive it’s probably an offense to refer to it as a ‘black’ suit. Nevertheless, he clearly has some years under Leon – what’s with that clean-shaved, glowing skin even in the dim alley he seems to have oh-so-coincidentally stumbled across Leon in.

“Just so thrilled to finally meet you in person.” His grin is actually so freaking genuine Leon wants to recoil. Is this what celebrities feel when they come across a groupie? What’s the procedure in these kinds of situations? Leon can’t seem to recall a training for that.

But all of a sudden, all smiling lines drop and the pale eyes round into something akin to worry. “Oh, are you still favoring your left arm after that clean up job in the Bahamas?”

 Leon goes under water right then. His surroundings lose volume and his breath catches; he dares not glance down at his left hand holding the grocery bag—he dares not twitch.

Whoever this is, is officially a hazard.

And whoever this is, is not done being a hazard. “By the way, I’m sorry about Mathilda. I know you lost her on that last job. Such a shame. She went through quite some adventures with you.” The stranger talks as if he’s been chewing the fat with him for at least an hour!

“Who the fuck are you,” Leon demands with a flat tone.

The stranger gives him another one of his poised smiles as if everything is clear and simple and Leon is the dense one. “I’m your co-worker,” he allots with a dimpling smile, “we work in the same agency.”

At that moment, Leon doesn’t know if he should feel relieved or betrayed; all he knows is that he’s puzzling at breakneck speed. “Never seen you before.”  Of that he’s sure of. He’s always been good with faces - no way a quaint mug like this would slip past his attention.

“You wouldn’t,” the other confirms his doubts, “after all, only five people know of my existence there. Well, nine, if you count the people that know me without knowing what I do. The pilot, the janitor, Bobby from the cafeteria…”

“And what the hell do you do?” Leon cuts him off, unimpressed by the minute.

“You,” he says flippantly.

“What?”

“I do you.” He flashes his teeth again for a second, almost proud… Definitely proud.

What has he said again? He was thrilled to meet him? Yeah, he wasn’t lying about that bit. That’s ‘thrill’ if Leon’s ever seen it splattered on a face and it’s probably not the fun kind.

“I’m flattered but riddles don’t do it for me anymore. Try getting to the point and maybe you’ll get lucky.”

A small chuckle. “Too bad. I was being honest. You are… everything I do.”

Leon’s furrow deepens.

The stranger takes a visible inhale and close his eyes with it. When he opens them, a new expression is staring at Leon: firm, unsmiling, colder if that’s even possible by now. “I was hired to study you,” he states without preambles. “Every day for ten years I was served Leon Scott Kennedy for breakfast, lunch and dinner.” He tilts his head, narrow his eyes a smidgen and adds almost contemplatively. “I know everything about you.”

The phrase resonates inside the agent’s head like the vibrations of a bell.

Leon always thought nothing can shock or surprise him much anymore and yet, he never thought one sentence could hold its own weight against two decades of bioterror horrors.

“Who you are, what you are. How you fight, why you fight. How you walk, how you talk,” he raises an index finger to his temple, “how you think.” Then he shut his eyes and keeps on going as if in a recital. “I know about your missions, their wins and their casualties. I know what sets you off,” he opens back his sharp, pale eyes, “and what calms you down. I know your friends and your enemies and the ones in-between . I know the drinks you enjoy and the company you enjoy them with,” the man intimates with a cynical smile.

Leon is rooted to the spot with dread. A dread weighting cold in his gut and winding up around his esophagus, stealing away his repartee.

He stares at the man with wide eyes before finally uttering in one full breath, “You’re full of shit.”

“No, you’re full of shit,” the other man returns instantly and evenly, that cynical lip-quirk still plastered on his face like an animatronic on pause. “I can see the fear in your eyes but you know what real dread is, agent Kennedy? Real dread is knowing your thoughts lie to you even when you think you’re being honest. What you’re thinking right now, that this is bullshit, that I’m full of shit – it’s a lie and you’re slowly realizing it. No need to hide behind your own smokescreen, agent Kennedy.”

“I’m not hiding anywhere. You on the other hand, you look like you’ve been holed-up somewhere like a little stalking creep, doing your homework and waiting for the day you finally get to shine. Yeah, you look like you didn’t see a lot of sun. Were you kept in some crypt under a church or somethin’?”

The other man smiles and says with a lilt, “No, I was right under your nose. We actually crossed path once in the White House. It was during the thanksgiving celebration dinner when you were assigned to guard detail for the late President.” He scoffs. “That one didn’t turn so well, right? Don’t worry, I was there once and it was the only time I allowed myself to be that close to you. You looked�� sulky.”

“You fucking creep…”  He doesn’t understand who or what the fuck is going on right now but Leon doesn’t even want to think about it; the only thing he knows for sure is that he’s going back from where he was coming from for some well-deserved answers.

“I get your anger. I’d be angry, too if I found out the very people I work and risk my life for pulled a clandestine operation behind my back. Then again, you never really trusted them either, did you? Why is that I wonder? Is it because they never stopped using you and abusing you like a fucking dog?”  

What did the Bible say again? The devil will look appealing to the eye; and in that moment, Leon has never been made more aware of that truth.

“And what does that make you? At least I wasn’t hired to spend years hiding somewhere, watching the life of someone else, if I even was to believe you. I think there’s a word the teens use for that: a nolife.”

“You’re wrong. I’m nothing like you. I know exactly what I’m doing while you never had a say in the matter.” His voice slowly takes a turn for the acerbic - still calm and composed but with an underlying venom that has always been there, waiting to be outright spewed. “Do you know what you’re called in the reports that aren’t meant for you? A great weapon. Or better yet, a pawn.” He shrugs as if to drive in the amount of disregard that last word carries on its own. “To be honest, I sympathized with your story. After all, you were literally kidnapped into this life? Your hand twisted by the president himself? And yet you never tried to jump ships?”

Leon balls his fists, nose flaring and feeling the red tendrils of rage overtake his senses.

“Ah, of course you couldn’t before because they had a bargaining chip over you head. But Sherry Birkin is all grown up now. An itsy-bitsy government agent herself. Hah, this life really does choose you and not the other way around. So what’s holding you? Do you like being their little pet so much? No, you wouldn’t be on SSRIs and Jack Daniel if you were. Or maybe… nothing’s holding you now and that’s why you’ve been snooping around and making calls here and there.”

When he finally stops talking, and Leon makes sure he’s really finished, he evenly snips. “What’s in the briefcase?”

The blond man narrows his eyes for a second as he scans Leon’s posture and shift a hand into his pants pocket. Leon carries but his gun is beneath his leather jacket zipped up to the neck. The man will beat him to it no matter what so Leon gets ready to dodge—only for it to be a pair of handcuffs, and Leon watches as he handcuffs the briefcase to his wrist before finally retorting, “None of your fucking business.”

And for once, Leon returns his scathing smile because that’s exactly what he wants to hear.

He just wants an excuse to lunge at this hazardous motherfucker.

To hell with methodical reasoning, he’ll deal with who and what the fuck this is later. For now—

He springs in with a readied punch that is instantly grabbed by one hand and knocked off with the other. Leon dodges the slap coming his way and goes for a knee in the crotch that is bluntly blocked, too. The blond man seizes the momentum of pushing away Leon and his knee by throwing two consecutive hooks, making Leon cross his arms over his face in the defensive.

The fucker is definitely a trained agent, Leon registers in the back of his head as he sustains the rapid onslaught of unrelating counterpunches. Finally, in a fresh impetus, the man swings and misses, making him slightly spin, which Leon immediately seizes up and drives for a kidney punch.

The wince he gets out of it is the best sound in the universe in that moment; Leon revels in it and follows instantly with his elbow dying to meet that smug face, too, but it’s caught before impact—so fast?! —and that bastard even dares to seize the opportunity of the hand clasping Leon’s forearm to try and toss Leon away.

But they seem to be of the same built and it turns into a deadlock of flailing limbs that has Leon aiming for a kick in the knee to throw off the man’s hold on him—kick that works in making the asshole hunch over but Leon doesn’t expect the retaliation to be so quick as he takes the – metallic – briefcase like an uppercut to the chin with enough force to make him spin.

That’s all the momentum the other man needs to effectively throw him off, this time with blunt kick to Leon’s small back, making the latter stumble away.

Mandible aching and ears ringing with adrenaline, Leon reaches for his zipper jacket—but the other man beats him to it as if not only in the business of meeting Leon even-steven but also in the business of reading his mind, and Leon is shocked with a bullet to the shoulder from behind, efficiently bringing him down.

 “Argh—” Leon jerks back, holding his bleeding shoulder.

“Go ahead, see how much time it’ll take you to zip down your jacket and take out your gun before I put at least four bullets in your head,” the man says with his silencer still pointed at Leon, his suit jacket open, now, revealing the holster’s strap across his white dress shirt and tie.

“Go ahead then. Have a feelin’ you could’ve done it many times before,” Leon huffs derisively, “but I guess the leash you have on is cut from the same cloth.”

“I’m nothing like you,” he replies back with a venomous smile. “How can I study you for ten years and make the same mistakes. No, you’re in this on your own. I’m just the one who’s about to put a real end to your streak of good luck.”

Leon glowers at the silencer, trying to keep his head high despite the bleeding pain and the stiffening fear.

Is that it? Is this how he’s going to die? As a fed killed by another asshole fed?  

Well shit.

The fucker returns his glower just as much, his smiling pretenses long gone. If Leon doesn’t have other urgent things to process, he’d notice how weird that is. Leon would’ve sworn he was the type to smile or laugh psychopathically in a moment like this. But this guy looks like he’s acting on a personal vendetta.

It’s slight but Leon can see the fingers actually trembling around the gun – as if he’s trying very hard to withhold himself.

Leon doesn’t understand.

“But I’m not supposed to do so; at least not right now. Right now… you seem like you could use a friend.” The gun stays pointed at him as the other hand fetches inside the suit jacket for a…is that a satellite phone?

“How about I call for one?” The man asks with a renewed smile and start taping numbers on the device. As long as the gun is pointed at him, Leon can’t do much but stare in stark confusion and put pressure on his bleeding wound.

The stranger put the phone to his ear and wait, his icy eyes gleaming knowingly.

Just what the actual fuck is goin—

“Hello? Is this Chris Redfield?”

Leon’s eyes all but fall out of their sockets.

“… Who is this?”

“Hi, my name’s Nicholas Wentworth. I'm really sorry to bother you but do you know a certain Leon Kennedy?”

“… Leon?”

“Yes, I believe he’s your friend?” the man asks with a sympathetic tone while his eyes are piercing through Leon like arctic winds, leaving Leon’s frozen in shock.

“How did you—what’s going on?”

“CHRIS!” Leon shouts out, snapping out of his stupor. He can’t hear Chris but he’ll be damned if this motherfucker is bluffing at this point. His voice downright cracks with the sheer ferocity of his distress. “DON’T TRUST A WORD OF THIS SONOVABITCH!”

The uproar doesn’t faze the man on the phone in the slightest as he continues, “I think he needs your help. He’s been badly wounded from a gunshot and I thought you’d be the best person to contact.”

“Leon?!” Chris startles as he hears the unmistakable deep tone of voice. “Who the fuck is this?! Put Leon on!”

“CHRIS, HANG UP!”

“Of course. Here you go.” And he tosses the phone right away, stopping short of Leon’s legs. He then withdraws his gun and give Leon an obscure smile. “You’re welcome,” he says before turning away and walking away!

Leon is left watching the straight back retreat with big, wide eyes as he finally hears Chris’ bellows from the satellite phone. Leon reaches out to cut the transmission but Chris’ distressed voice pulls at his heartstrings in the last moment.

He doesn’t have it in him to leave him out in the cold and so distressed like this.

Pain flares up inside him again from all the physical and mental turmoil he went through in the span of all thirty minutes and clicks on the speaker. “Chris…”

“Leon!”

“In the flesh,” he tries to sing-songs but it comes as just a pitiful groan. He starts to stand up to finally tend to his wound.

“Are you alright?! What the fuck is going on?! Talk to me!”

“’M talkin’. Don’t be a worrywart now. It’s in the shoulder, I know how to deal with it. Kinda having déjà vu, right now,” he says the last part as a grumble to himself.

“What? What’s in the shoulder?!”

“The bullet. Didn’t you hear anything that was said?”

“Don’t start with me, Leon, I’m completely out of my depth right now!”

Aw. Cute.

It may not be actually so bad to have Chris’ voice droning as background noise while he gives himself emergency first aids. 

“Okay, okay. Hold on a sec, lemme get—ugnh, comfortable.” He snatches his grocery bag and leans against the wall, hidden behind a dumpster.  

“Leon, call 911, get an ambulance!”

“No, it’s a bullet so they’ll want answers. That’ll bring me to the DSO and I can’t have that.” Speaking of, Leon asseses his wound and notices that the bullet is still inside. “Fuck—” he grits angrily. That’s going to be a bigger pain in the ass. He fetches the vodka from the bag, thanking the gods for swift openings. First, a big swig.

“What? Why? What’s going on with the DSO?”

The strong alcohol sets his nerves down at least. “You know we’re having this nice chitchat on that sonovabitch’s phone, right?” He opens his jacket and fetches his key chain first. It’s made of a pocket knife.

“The—is it a satellite phone?”

“Mm-hm.” They both know satellite phones are not full-proof either, not without the right precautions.

“Fuck, how did they know?!”

“He knows.” Leon corrects without delving too much, trying to focus on even breathings and tearing a good stripe of his henley with the blade.  

“Who is he?”

“No fuckin’ clue. I hope you’re packing from wherever you are right now. Tracking people down seems to be this fucker’s forte.” He can hear Chris’ famous unhappy grumbles and grouses made under his breath as he soaks the stripe of cloth in alcohol and close it on his wound.

The hiss he makes seems to tear Chris away from his barrage of questions. “Okay, Leon, listen to me, I don’t know who this bastard is or what’s his motive, but I’m gonna find a way to reach out—”

“Chris, no, you’ll compr—”

“No, listen to me, I’ll find a safe way. Then we’ll finish this conversation. Got it?”

“Ngh… Whatever you say, boss...”

“You see to your wound and heal yourself. That’s the most important right now. Understood?”

Leon can’t help but smile. Chris Redfield sure is a leader of troupes through and through. Somehow, even if Leon never likes being patronized around by hierarchy, it never feels the same way when it comes from Chris Redfield.

Yeah, ‘somehow’. Just say you’re fucking biased Kennedy because you fucked the man a few times and you liked it every time it happened.

But Chris’ care always feels overwhelmingly genuine – even when it’s only an inflection in a voice coming from a thousand miles away. He knows Chris cares about him. That’s his only certainty when it comes to their ‘situation’ after all.

And so Leon smiles despite the burning pain because the flutters in his gut is pretty hilarious giving his current situation. “Sir yes sir.” When nothing from the phone comes right away, he feels obliged to add more seriously—more softly, “Okay, don’t worry about me, you know I can handle this.”

Seems like that’s what the other end of the line was waiting to hear because a reply is finally heard. “Good. I know you can, Kennedy. Remember what you told me that time about your obsession?”

My obsession is to break away from all of this.

“Yeah.”

“Remember my answer?”

Well, I’ll be here. Whenever you need me.

“Yeah.”

“Kill this phone now, and stay sharp.”

“Roger.”

Leon can hear an intake of breath—shaky.

“Over and out.”

Leon turns off the satellite phone but keeps it close. He feels a sense of levity despite the sweat dripping off his forehead and he knows it’s all because he got to talk to Chris. Chris Redfield is everyone’s rock and he desperately needs something like that right now. He’s a man of his word, too and he’s alive – which is actually a deep-seated worry he’s been carrying within his bones for God knows how long.

So all must be good, right?

He’s not alone.

Leon bites another stripe of cotton and uses his knife to rip it from his poor, tattered shirt.

Scriitch.

He’s not fucking—

He rolls it on top of the first bandage to stop the bleeding and makes a tight knot using his teeth.

—Alone!

“Hah… Hah… Fuck.”

Leon knocks back another mouthful of vodka and gathers his stuff. He needs to get home now as quick as possible before the bandages lose their pressure. He also needs to wait for whatever Chris’ going to do and think things through and he can’t do the latter in the comfort of the cobblestones beneath his ass.

This ain’t over, motherfucker.

[bohemian-nights]

can we talk about how it was book daemon that spoke out against just attacking KL with all of their dragons and said that they should fight smart? show!daemon would never and i hate how they ruined him. in the book he's incredibly cruel, yes, but also strategic, intelligent. when he was a young man he was hotheaded and impulsive but by the time of the dance he was in his 50's, more mature and calm. in the show they made him into a bloodthirsty lunatic to make maegora look good. and it's funny considering how in the book it was rhaenyra that was wayyy more vengeful , impulsive and bloodthirsty. they had to ruin every single character in hotd to make maegora look good because in f&b she's literally the worst. like she's the villain of the entire dance she's insane.

i loved book alicent and her anne Boleyn vibes so muchhh ! book alicent actually fit the "girlboss" stereotype so much more than miss maegor so of course they had to ruin her character completely.

and the whole "friendship" plot? what is this bs???? i wanted anne boleyn vs bloody mary! why do people assume that feminism is always about how men are the true villains and women are the hopeless victims? rhaenyra and alicent are not victims, they are overprivileged power-hungry women that hated each other's guts and were the leaders of their factions. they are not friends. they were never friends. there is no need for them to be friends. this is so stupid.

nettles is one of my fav characters and i'm terrified for my girl. they will prob make her a "victim" of daemon or vilify her to make maegora and dumbmyra look good. rhaenyra was always the villain in nettles story, she's racist and tries to kill netty even though she never betrayed her and fought for her cause (while miss maegor sat on her ass in dragonstone).

maegora was so useless during the dance, she did NOTHING. that's prob why i lean towards team green - say what you will about aegon, (i'm not even talking about the show version of him) he fought until the very end.

Everything you said anon x1000 👏🏽This show really has become the how Miss Maegor(and to a slightly lesser extent Alicent) was wronged by the patriarchy show. Everything else has been put on the back burner, storylines, and characterization have been taken away to prop up this racist flop. She is the opposite of a girl boss(yep book!Alicent fits that description better).

I’m not going to get into how other characters have been butchered, had their light dimmed, or look outright idiotic to make Missy Anne look better(Aegon, Laena, Baela, Rhaena, Helaena, hell even some of Corlys and Rhaenys actions don’t make sense). Or how certain characters who show the true nature of her character are nowhere to be found(Nettles; her almost victim).

Daemon wasn’t perfect in the books, but he comes off as almost mentally unstable in the show. At best one can liken him to a spoiled toddler throwing tantrums and lashing out cause his big bro doesn’t love him/ solely focus all his attention on him. They are actively taking away what little redeeming qualities he has(competent military man, loving husband to Laena, Nettles🙃) to turn him into some big baddie.

Alicent has been made into a weak and confused woman when she was a fully functioning capable woman in the books. To be honest, Olivia Cooke’s acting is probably saving this character because her actions from episode 8 on don’t make any sense. (Why the hell would anyone still want to be friends with someone who cared less about their child being maimed)?

Ryan keeps saying Fire & Blood is biased(debatable considering we have three different accounts of events and one of them is from someone who would lick Miss Maegor’s butt free of charge), but the version of the Dance he’s telling definitely isn’t the truth. This is crap borderline fanfiction(I’ve read better fanfiction).

[calendae-creations]

Hello. Do you have any tips on getting started selling your handmade goods? I am disabled too and sometimes the only thing keeping my sane is knitting. Right now I'm knitting things for myself and friends. I think I may get to a point where I want to sell things I have knit instead of just gifting them and I was curious how you go about doing it and if you have any tips for getting started.

I'm not like, wildly successful at this by any means, so if anyone else has any tips, omfg please share your wisdom.

That said, first of all fuuuuuuuuck etsy. Not only do they have shitty policies in a number of ways (you can google it if you want; i don't feel like getting into that series of rants), I never really made many sales there in the decade or so I tried. And tbh most of the knitted things up for sale there are so disgustingly underpriced, it might be hard to get enough money from a sale to even cover the materials cost, let alone labor time.

Once I had given up on etsy, I was selling on twitter for a while? But we all know how twitter's going, so I don't even remember my login info to delete the account, lol. I did make way better money than I ever did on etsy tho! Like, twice the sales in one year than I got on etsy in ~10. Not even exaggerating. I made decent sales on facebook from a page for my business, but stopped trying after the third time they changed the interface in less than 6 months. If you can figure out how it works though, go for it!

I'm trying to build a proper website of my own for Calendae Creations, but html is hard and so is the rest of my life, so that's on the back burner for now. I'm really not sure how successful it'll be if I ever get it up and running.

Currently this is my only sales presence online, and I haven't tabled at an in-person event since 2018. I've been pleasantly surprised at being able to generate any income at all on the website famous for not making money, lol. I do really want to get into more in-person sales, but I really can't speak much to how well knitting sells at different kinds of events, because when I used to do ren faires and flea markets I was mostly selling pottery, jewelry, and live plants. I'm pretty hopeful about trying to get a table at Staunton Pride next fall though?

Tbh, as much as I love my job, I really would not recommend this as a full time primary source of income to anyone who has literally any other options. I'm just too disabled to do anything else anymore.

Related, does anyone know how to file USA income tax for this kind of thing??? I am so lost trying to figure it out.