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havesomeimagination · 1 month ago

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Losing your best friend

Summary: After losing your pet, you do not know what to do with yourself. Especially after a hard shift in the ER. Good thing you have two best friends to help guide you.

Author's Note: Hey lovely people... this is my second writing ever and I wrote it in a rush so please be nice. This does go over pet loss and is spoken from experience. Losing a pet is the worst pain I have felt and still mourning to this day. I decided to write this bc I'm obsessed with The Pitt and has been consuming my every thought :).

YN does have a last name and she/her pronouns but feel free to imagine anything else!

Please let me know if you want more (probably not)

WARNING: Not edited, written in one go :)

WC: 2,050

TW: pet loss, pet sickness, child loss, um I think that is it lmk if there is more!

You are having the worst week of your life, well it was only Monday, but it shadows the rest of your week or month, even year.

You had finally gotten that day off you desperately needed for rest and comfort. Getting a full night sleep with your lovely dog by your side.

You had known for years that your dog had a heart murmur and it would only get more aggressive as time passed. But there was a part of you that could not believe that she would pass, she is immortal. No doubt about it. You gave her the correct doses of her meds and made sure to have your neighbors care for her while you were at work. She was normal.

Until one day when you were going through your normal routine with her on your day off, she fainted on her walk. The route y'all took every morning and sometimes night, depending on the shift. Her time was up.

By the time you had run back to your apartment she was awake and breathing heavily, not normal for a dog.

You rushed as fast as you could to get her to the vet.

They gave her the usual meds but through her arm to see how much effect it would have, if there wasn’t any improvement, it was her time.

Being a doctor, you are supposed to be prepared and calm during emergency situations but this was too personal. It felt too real. It felt like your worst nightmare.

How could the one thing that kept you from going down the spiral of flashbacks from your worst cases be dying.

On the way home you came to the realization that it was time to say goodbye.

And that is what you did.

You did not want her to be uncomfortable being put down at the vet so you arranged for them to do it in your apartment.

It was the worst 3 hours of your life.

Your soulmate. Your best friend. The reason you got up the majority of the time was gone.

There is an article that explained why losing a pet hurt so much. Said something about them releasing a certain chemical that couldn’t be done by another human. Their loss would hurt more than ever.

It is true.

No pain has ever felt like this. Like your soul was deeply affected. Like your heart would never beat the same melody again.

Your apartment felt empty. What once felt like a home felt like a nightmare.

______________________________________________________________________________

By the next morning you were sluggish and tired with burning eyes from all the crying. You felt numb.

Nobody knew about what happened and you didn’t want to tell. Not until you had time to process them. So you decided a distraction is all you need, the lovely ER life is everything you need right now.

Right?

______________________________________________________________________________

Working in the Pitt for a couple years, both night and day shift has led to a close relationship with both Robby and Abbott.

You knew their tells of when it's been a rough night and their hiding place up on the roof.

There had been multiple occasions where you’d help talk them down to go home and rest, and hopefully go to therapy.

Robby and Abbott would never say it to your face but you were the glue that held them together.

The teasing jokes and banter between the 3 of you always made shifts move along easier especially when you were their light.

When you got to the hospital you spotted both of them already making their rounds.

“Did not even wait for me, how rude” You say walking to them.

“Well somebody has to work around here Dr. Sinclair” Robby playfully shot back.

“It looks like you guys have it covered, I'm going to head out. Ciao.” Abbott says walking away from you and winking.

You turn back to Robby, “Shall we?”

He gestures to walk along with him. Your shift has started.

Towards the end of your shift, you were reminded why this job can also be a curse and a blessing.

Having a little girl pass on your table, under your care, because she tried to save her little sister from drowning in their family pool. By the time the parents found her, it was a little too late.

You tried everything.

Robby had to come in and snap you out of the trance that you were in to try and save her. It wasn’t enough.

After you called time of death, the parents’ cries immediately followed. Cries that would haunt you for the rest of your life because you weren’t enough.

If only there was a net over the pool. If only the parents got to her sooner. If only you could have saved her.

You froze in the room as Robby was trying to give the parents time to process what happened.

The impending doom loomed over you. Of the morning you had. Of every patient you have lost.

The morning you had.

She's gone.

They're gone.

You could not save them.

The room felt it was closing in on you. The smell was too much, your thoughts were too loud, your heart was too fast, the light was too bright, you needed to leave.

Finally making your way out of the room you rushed to the stairs, leaving Robby with the family.

Robby immediately noticed how much this was affecting you, it was affecting him too, anybody would freeze over this. Nobody is ready to lose a child.

Robby has seen your breakdowns and they were never good, but he was there for you or tried to be. He knew where you were headed so he tried his best to go after you.

By the time he was finished speaking with the family, you were up on the roof with your back against the railing and knees tucked up to your chest.

All he could hear when he opened the door to the roof was rough breathing and sniffles.

It was the worst sounds he's heard in a while. You almost never let yourself cry or break at work.

As he crosses the railing to sit down you start pleading for him to leave.

You hated crying in front of people. It made you feel weak.

“Please Robby just let me be. Go.” You roughly breathe out as you hide your face between your knees.

Robby tried to console you the best he could but nothing was working. You can only imagine his big brown eyes softening at the image of you fully breaking.

“I’m not going anywhere until you get behind the railing.” He states softly.

“Fucking hell why can’t you listen.” You harshly bite back still breathing roughly with tears continuously flowing.

As Robby tried to calm you down, Abbott arrived for his shift downstairs. Immediately searching for his two friends.

“Where are the two rascals?” He asked Dana.

“Oh thank god you’re here. Sinclair lost a patient and rushed to the stairs, its been a while and still no sign of them. Go check on them.”

Immediately Abbott rushed to the roof.

Opening the door to the roof revealed the worst sound he ever heard come from you.

The rough gasps of air, pleading with Robby to go away, it was a lot to take in.

Dropping his bag by the door he rushed to where both of you were seated.

Robby just gave him a look. The look that would confirm what they have expected for a while.

Since you were never one to show extensive emotions after the hard shifts it was only matter of time before a break would happen.

But they were not expecting it to be this bad.

“Sinclair I’m going to need you to calm down, you're worrying me.” Robby pleaded.

Abbot sits in front of you and pries your hands from hiding your head to try to get you to breathe normally.

You keep repeating for them to go away.

Both men grasp each of your hands and tell you to breathe.

“Inhale, 1, 2, 3, exhale 1, 2, 3” Abbott consoled.

“Cmon love, you got this, breathe before you pass out. It’s ok, we got you” Robby worriedly glances at Abbott.

Jack only has his eyes on you. He’s never seen you like this.

You start to listen to their instructions trying to regulate your breathing.

Inhale 1, 2 ,3, exhale 1, 2, 3.

Finally after a few repetitions you start to breathe normally.

You feel both of them start to relax as you listen.

It takes a while for you to snap out of your trance.

You kept repeating this morning in your mind.

Your dog's ears, her soft silver fur, the way she never let you miss her paw massages or ear scratches in the morning. How she would lay on top of you when you had a bad day and consumed any bad feeling you had. She was your light.

Suddenly you just start crying again but this time you lean towards Abbott, yearning for some kind of comfort.

“Hey hey what’s going on? Is it the shift or something else?” Jack worriedly says as he wraps his arms around you.

Robby and Jack are both looking at each other waiting for you to speak.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” You softly speak into the night.

A silence covers all three of them.

“What do you mean YN” Robby replies as you back up from Abbott and stare at the buildings in front of you.

Glancing at both of their worried glances you reply, “This job. Life. I don’t know. Everything is too much.”

A couple seconds pass before Jack was about to speak but got interrupted.

“ I mean the only thing that made me get out of bed every morning is gone. She is gone. It was pathetic to think dogs are immortal and nothing would happen especially knowing her condition. But she is gone and I don’t want to live without her.” you rapidly ramble as more tears start flowing.

Both Robby and Jack stare at her with sad eyes, finally understanding the full reason why you are like this.

Both of them scoot right next to you until they’re touching your shoulders and comfort you.

You continue rambling “I don’t think I can stay home alone without her. She is everywhere in that apartment. Every corner, blanket, window, and pillow, I- I can't.”

Jack takes your hand and rubs his thumb over your knuckles trying to think about what to say next.

“Well it’s a good thing you have two stupidly handsome doctors with their own living space as your best friend.” Jack playfully states.

He spots the tiniest hint of your lips turning up before you glance at him.

Robby then speaks, “You are the strongest doctor out of any of us Sinclair. You will get through this. This ER would not be the same without you”, looking directly at you.

“Thank you Rob. I just think I need a few days to recuperate.”

“Take all the time you need, I have interns, nurses, and attendings at my disposal” Robby jokes.

He then gets up and places a warm hand on your shoulder before announcing his exit.

“Well I have to go check downstairs before Dana quits. Please reach out to me for whatever reason Sinclair. I mean it.” He sternly tells you.

You nod as he walks away.

As he walks away he shouts “ You too Abbott!”

Your hand is still covered by Jacks.

A few seconds of silence and sniffling pass before you confess “I don’t want to go home”.

Abbott nudges your shoulder to look at him.

“You don’t have to. I can give you my key right now and let you stay at my house as long as you want, free of charge.”

“You really wouldn’t mind?” You question him.

“I would do anything for you Sinclair.” He softly answers.

You stare at him, “ Right back at ya Cowboy.”

You break eye contact looking at the stars until you let your head fall on his shoulder.

Both of you stayed like that until Jack had to leave for his shift. One heart bruised but beating for the other.

#dr jack abbot x reader #the pitt angst #the pitt fanfiction #dr robby #robby robinavitch #dr robby x reader #jack abbot #dr abbott #the pitt #platonic #lovers..#please be kind

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