#many much more things to be said about my classmates that year. but who cares. explode | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chaconnewon · 5 days ago

Note

nerd!won surprising u by actually being good in bed despite what the others say (him being bitchless i mean) *but still clumsy and cute 😩* PLEASE

a/n: TOOK ME A FUCKING WHILE TO WROTE THIS. I am so, so sorry. Is not even that good. I had to change it so many time that I dont really know if it's what you wanted or... anyways I hope you like it(if you see it ;_;) Thank you so much for the request. <3

surface ─── y.jw

contains: nerd!jungwon x fem!reader, masturbation(f. recieving), unpreotected sex(gyus no), mentions of a party, alcohol(both conscious), jungwon looks like a tease but it's a softie, mention of aftercare. wc: 2k(2.261) a/n pt2: this is proofread but once again english is not my frist languague so it may contains mistakes. hope you enjoy it !!!

‘’Why you care about body count so much?’’

You didn’t mean to overhear that conversation but those students were too close to you, and they weren’t speaking quietly. You took some books off your shelf locker, maybe a little slower to continue being nosey.

‘’ What if I'm sleeping with someone who has zero experience?’’

‘’ Everyone has been inexperienced at least once. Not a big deal, you’re having sex for fun not to impress someone.’’

That was right. No one should be ashamed for being a virgin, or lacking in experience. From the past years people made sex look like some kind of competition. Setting your status based on how many people you slept with. Nothing to flex about, neither if you have sex or not, both valid.

‘’ I know for sure some of your classmates have lost their virginity…’’

‘’ Jesus, why are we talking about that? ‘’

‘’ What do you mean ‘we’? She seems to have been ovulating for the past two months! My girl, if you wanna get laid so bad, go ask Jay for one night. I'm pretty sure he won’t deny.’’

‘’Not my type.’’

The girls laughed, and so did you. Quietly, of course.

‘’My type is more like… Jaeyoon? Or maybe Jungwon!’’

You knew both of them. Well, actually you knew Jake for always saying dumb shit at the worst moment possible. He kinda makes you laugh, and was a good classmate. And Jungwon…

Jungwon was the type of guy who’s smart as fuck. Like, had a response to everything. He knew about so many things you couldn’t remember. Doesn’t talk too often but always has the first place in the ranking grades. No one could beat him even if they tried. A lot of people envied him for that, even making bad comments about him but Jungwon didn’t seem to care. For you, it was just admiration. A person so sweet, caring and smart. You couldn’t find bad traits about him and you didn’t want to.

It’s been four days since that conversation lingered in your mind and you couldn't help but wonder what was your ideal type. Never thought about that before and you felt curious. Not that you have an extensive list of crushes throughout your life but still.

Of course you liked some people, but none of them had a unique trait to make you think ‘’that is maybe some kind of my type’’ like glasses, or people taller than you. Honestly, you didn’t care as long as they were nice to you and the others.

Cuz we don’t beg or idealise the bare minimum.

As soon as you stepped outside the school building, you stretched your body, hearing some of your bones crack. It was Friday, finally. And you couldn’t wait to arrive home and do nothing for the rest of the weekend. But again, you overheard another conversation.

‘’It is true that this boy next class is arranging a party?’’

‘’I think so, shall we go?’’

A party… When was the last time you went to a party? You thought about it, until said party day came. You stood in front of the door, hearing the music through the walls, blasting. Was that a good idea? You were 100% sure you wanted to spend the night in someone’s house full of people you didn't know?

When you stepped inside, the warmth of people's bodies slapped you, making you gasp for air. Did they really enjoy being so crowded, almost sweating, rubbing against other people? You didn't like the idea, and walked through dancing bodies until you reached the kitchen, apparently the only place in the house that seemed to be… spacious.

You got yourself a cup of whatever they were handing, sipping thirsty and almost immediately regretting it.

‘’Shit, did these people even pour some soda or something?’’ you muttered, eyebrows furrowing as you checked the plastic cup.

By the corner of your eye, you caught some silhouette gripping the kitchen counter. He seemed like the alcohol was doing something to him, and he tried to act cool but didn’t work. Concerned, you held him by his arm, and soon found out who he was.

‘’Jungwon?’’

‘’Did you know those fuckers are serving just alcohol? No mixed, no shit. Straight pure alcohol like it’s gonna be banned.’’ he said, shaking his head with disapproval. ‘’Fuck, it’s burning my throat. And the people here aren’t making it easy.’’

You chuckled, softly. You haven’t heard Jungwon curse like that, like he was truly disgusted.

You looked around, searching for a crowdless place to bring him. But everywhere was full of students: furniture, the couch, even the corners… Everything was filled with drunk, noisy people. And when you were that irritable, the least you wanted was some drunkass bothering you.

‘’Come here, let’s go.’’

You took him by his wrist, leading the way across the people. You didn’t even know whose house it was, but your steps guided you to the close bedroom, opening the door and entering, pulling Jungwon inside too. You placed him on the edge of the bed, and you took a seat on some chair in front of him.

Jungwon had his cheeks blushed due to the alcohol but still was very conscious of his actions and thoughts. His lips were parted slightly, breathing through them. And then was when you realised that Jungwon never had a dating rumor. You found him so pretty you reached that conclusion. You haven’t seen him with a girl, or talking about girls. Was he single? Or was he in a private relationship with someone? You heard other students making fun of him because apparently he had no one.

But what was the reality?

When you came back down from your daydreaming, you found his feline eyes looking directly at you, his head tilted to one side trying to read your mind.

‘’You good?’’ you asked, acting as natural as you could.

‘’Uh-hum’’ he hummed. ‘’And you? You seem far away from here.’’

You looked at him again, feeling how the blush was creeping in your face. And he smirked. He fucking smirked, like he noticed you red-ish shade lighting up you face. Like he knew what was inside your head.

Jungwon leaned in to grab the armchair, and pulled it closer to him, placing you and the chair between his legs. Suddenly something shifted in the air. Having him so close made your pulse rate high.

‘’Is there any hidden intention why you brought me here?’’

You swallow hard, shaking your head. ‘’I–I saw you struggling, and thought to… I don’t know, you maybe feel better with no one around.’’

He faked a thoughtful expression. His hand travelled from the armchair to your chin, raising your head for you to look fully at him. There was something dark in his eyes, something you couldn’t quite tell. And honestly, it was hard to tell if you liked it or not.

Before you could react, his lips were pressing against yours. Slow movements started an addicting dance between both lips. His hand cupped your face, tilting it to one side to fit the kiss even better. You kissed him back without thinking twice, with hunger.

With ease he lifted you and laid you down on the bed, positioning him between your legs. His lips descended from your mouth to your neck, marking and sucking it at the right places, like he knew your body better than you did. You squirmed beneath him, soft whines leaving your lips. You heard him curse underneath his breath, teeth sinking your soft neck skin to suppress his gasps.

He looked at you again, desire mixed with some kind of adoration reflecting his eyes. His hand roamed your body, memorizing every inch of it. You could keep still, arching your body against his soft touch. Jungwon’s fingerpads reached your clothed nipples, brushing it slowly until they were hard, perky.

‘’You liked that?’’ he smiled, pitching you perky bud and got a moan for answer, content.

‘’F–Feels good.’’

‘’Does it? Should I continue?’’

‘’Please.’’

Jungwon didn't hang you waiting, raising you top clothes and exposing your breasts, covered by the thin layer of your bra. Gently hands were kneading your soft flesh, feeling every inch of your breasts. You back arched again to keep feeling the warmth of his hands, which traveled down until reaching your pants. You nodded at him as giving permission to go further, and he unbuttoned your pants, sliding them through your legs and tossing them aside.

He gripped your knees, spreading them to settle between them again. His fingers traced soft lines inside your thigh until they reached your clothes core, cupping it above the fabric. You gasped, breath hitching as he started to give pressure into your clit –or at least where he thought it was.

You shifted slightly, moving your hips to align his fingerpads and your clit. He was fast to catch up on what was going on.

‘’Not reaching?’’

‘’You’re a bit to the side…’’ you giggled softly, earning a soft chuckle from him for the first time that night.

He was a bit ashamed. It was his first time doing something like that, a fact that you would believe if he said it out loud. When he had enough of teasing you, his free hand moved to slide your panties to one side, taking a look at your wet pussy. He tried again, pressing two fingers in your clit and moving them in slow circles. He watches carefully your expressions, how you face contorned in pleasure even if he was moving them at slow pace.

He left you clit to spread your lips and coated his fingers in your arousal, the same ones brushing your entrance but not putting it in. Jungwon saw your legs tremble, trying to trap his hand between them and had to grab one of your legs to keep them open.

‘’Tell me if you want to stop because I don’t think I have enough energy myself. Please Y/N…’’

‘’N–No, don’t stop.’’

He smiled, and got rid of his own pants and underwear. You looked down, curious, and saw his hard dick standing. Maybe it was the prettiest dick you have ever seen–not that you saw many but still. He took himself from the base and pushed the tip a bit, coating it with your juices.

‘’You sure?’’

‘’Yes, I’m sure.’’

You looked at him for the last time. He trapped his bottom lip between his teeth, brows furrowing slightly. His cheeks were even red-ish that before, and you couldn’t help but to think that he was looking so cute right now. Despite being seconds away to fuck you, but he was still cute. He held one of your hands, interlacing his fingers at the same time he pushed his length inside you.

Inch by inch he bottomed you out, making sure there was no pain during it. But the second he noticed your scrunched expression, he stopped.

‘’Are you alright?’’

You nodded but Jungwon didn’t feel like it. His mind was racing, thinking of something to ease the pain you were not talking about. Then an idea snapped his mind. Jungwon took a pillow and placed it under your lower back, making your body a bit arched.

‘’O–Oh, feels better like this.’’ You told him, squeezing his hand.

He took it as a sign to continue. Slowly, he pulled back a bit and again pushed his entire dick inside you, leaving you gasping for air. Jungwon continued to move with no rush, letting your insides adjust to his length. His free hand caressed your sides, then your stomach until they were back at your hips. Grabbing them, he started to pick up his pace, your moans slowly driving him insane.

You found out that, same as you, he was a vocal person. Especially when your walls clapped him so tight it was hard to move inside.

‘’Shit– You feel so good.’’ he panted, leaning closer to your body. His hot breath reached your neck, giving you goosebumps.

Soon his dick was reaching spots you would have never known it would feel so good, making you squirm under his body. Your moans became a bit pitch-highed and more continuous, a clear sign you were close to snap. And that was the last straw from Jungwon, pushing harder into you, his tip constantly rubbing that sweet spot inside you.

You could tell he was close too by the way his thrusts were sloppier, his dick twitching inside you.

‘’F–Fuck, I’m so close–’’

‘’Me too, please. Don’t slow down.’’

He growled, hooking one of your legs from behind and lifting it a bit, reaching even further.

‘’Fuck! Just like that!’’

‘’ Haah… Y/N, wh–where do you want it?’’

You mumbled something about outside but not clarifying where. He waited until you reached your peak, clamping hard his dick with your gummy walls as the orgasm washed you all over. It felt good, so good he almost forgot to pull out. He was lost in the way his name fell off your lips in such an erotic way.

As you were coming back from your high, Jungwon suddenly pulled out, just in time to spurt thick ropes of cum from his throbbing cock. They landed in your pussy, mixed with your own release.

You two tried to catch your breath, feeling how his seed was dripping from your cunt into the sheets beneath you.

‘’You good?’’ he asked, stroking gently your face. You nodded. ‘’Good, let me clean you, okay?

#enhypen #enha x reader #enhypen hard hours #drabble #chaconnewon #enhypen jungwon #jungwon smut #enhypen smut #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen x reader #enha smut

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ysrjune · 3 months ago

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earth angel 𝜗𝜚

#🩵 #🦋

NERD!ANAKIN X POPULAR!READER [ HIGHSCHOOL ]

You shared 6th period drama with Anakin for the past four years of high school. It's an easy A, and you actually like it. Him, on the other hand, was more meh about it. He didn't mind acting things out with his classmates. It wasn't a huge deal.. until he was cast in a play as a main character

"I can't do all that in front of the billions of students that attend plays! It's embarrassing!" He complains to you on the way home. "Anakin, stop being so dramatic. It's not like you have to do it for 7 days straight." Preformances were held for 3 days. Thursday, two hours after school, Friday at 7pm, and Saturday morning.

"You'd freak out too if you had to make a fool of yourself in front of everyone." He just really didn't like his role to be honest. "Oberon, king of fairies my ass." He rolls his eyes. He liked Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, but he wouldn't want to be apart of the play. "They're gonna make me wear a stupid wig and a stupid costume," He keeps ranting on about how he doesnt want to be in the play until you reach home. "Sweetie, you'll do just fine." You kiss his cheek and unbuckle your seatbelt. Anakin groans and throws his head back. "Whatever you say, I guess.."

The next morning, he picked you up from your house like always. "Hi!" you greet with a smile, opening the door. "Hey beautiful," he smiles back and kisses your cheek once you settle in. "I like your hair." He compliments. A cute ponytail with a bow in the back. "You always say that." "Well, cause I always like your hair." He shrugs. "I like that you dress up, making yourself look pretty."

Entering the gates at school, you're greeted by a couple of girls you have classes with. You smile and wave. A lot of people you passed by said hi, actually. You were really shy in middle school and hated it. So when you reached 9th grade, you forced yourself out of it—making friends in every class, talking to friends of friends (that became your friends), not being scared to talk to upperclassmen or people you had to work in a group with (you get the picture.)

Anakin liked to show up 30 minutes before the bell rang so that he could help you with your homework that he already knew you didn't do last night. And by helping, really, he did most of it himself. He would get frustrated when you said the wrong answer too many times, so he would give up and say: "Let me just solve it for you. We're running out of time." It was never rude, either. Yeah, it was obvious he was getting frustrated, but he was still nice about it.

The classroom you stayed in was your first period. He didn't have one, so he stayed in the classroom with you. He had your teacher last year and she really liked him and knew she could trust him, so she let him stay. He wouldn't talk much because he wanted you to focus. He would either finish his assignments from other classes, talk to you when you finished your work, help you with your work, or scroll on his phone.

Your friends would join your table, pulling in chairs to do the work with you or just to chit-chat and not do the assignment. Anakin didn't really care if you didn't focus everyday on your assignments because he was more than happy to help (do it for you) because what use would his brain be if he didn't help his gorgeous girlfriend on her assignment?

He actually joined in on the conversations at times. Giving your friends a guys perspective on situations with their boyfriends/guys they talked to. Your friends absolutely adored Anakin. He was always respectful and helpful. Not just with boys, but with their assignments. He explained perfectly, leading them to a good grade.

—

His friends were smart, but not as smart as him. Anakin likes to surround himself with people who arent idiots, not people who arent funny and dont know how to have fun—actual idiots. Anakin thinks the kids who don't actually try in class are so stupid. He doesn't like them. Kids who stayed on their phone and got mad when they were taken away, the ones who would constantly ask "Are my eyes red?!" after one hit of a pen, those who asked for answers after not even trying to pay attention, idiots.

Anakins friends are some of the funniest guys you know. You talked to them here and there before dating Anakin, but now you were actually friends with them. They weren't the guys who made racist jokes to make you laugh or the ones to do something really stupid to impress a girl. They were genuinely funny, and so was Anakin. He has a great sense of humor.

One thing you really like about Anakin is that he's not overly clingy. He doesn't need to be with you everyday and every hour of the day. Some days he'll hangout with his friends at lunch and pass by you, offering a wave and smile and then go back to talking with his friends. He doesn't always text "Wyd?" which is the BEST because sometimes you just want to be left alone so you can watch videos or tv shows.

—

For the upcoming play, you were working with tech in the back, but when his practice buddy isnt there or when the girl who played Oberons wife was absent, you took their place. He said he hated this role but the way he was putting his all into it said otherwise. He put even more effort when you were practicing with him.

When the first opening night happened, he did such a great job. Everyone enjoyed his preformance. But then again, your schools plays were always top tier, so they were always enjoyed anyway. Yes, he did great on the other two showings as well.

Drama was actually becoming his 2nd favorite class. Calculus is his first.. #NERD!

Anakin likes singing. He also has a very nice voice. He sings A LOT when he's home alone. When your drama teacher mentioned that she was planning to do a musical (West Side Story) Anakin was excited. He auditioned for the role of Tony and he BEGGED you to go for Maria. He promised that he would help you with the singing and all the lines.. and you gave in. for the sake of this thing you both got the roles of Tony and Maria. That preformance was also really loved by the crowd in the auditorium.

—

• Anakin likes to dress in jeans and a nice button-up most of the time. He always smells nice and his hair is always gelled. GREAT hygiene. A t-shirt here and there never hurt anyone. He's definitely the type to wear a puffer jacket without sleeves over a hoodie whem it gets cold.

• Another good thing about Anakin is that hes not insecure about you talking to other guys. He knows you love him. He knows you like to make friends and talk. Who cares if you're talking to a guy? You asked them for a pencil, not their hand in marriage.

• Hes such a romantic. Just because flowers, love notes/letters, hand-made gifts, buying you nice clothes, perfume and cute stuff he knows you like. He likes to spoil you. Loves to love you. You're his one and only. Not the type to have wandering eyes.

—

Taking Anakin to parties is hard. He always has an excuse. "I have homework to do," "I need to go to sleep early. I have something going on in the morning," "Im too tired," But you eventually caught on that he was just gonna stay in bed reading, playing games or actually napping. The reason he actually went this time was because he had no more excuses.

And guess what? He was having fun. He ran in to some of his friends and he messed around with them. Joking and laughing, playing games like jenga, twister and even drinking games.. woah.

"Oh my God babe," He drunkenly giggles, swinging an arm over your shoulder. "You will NOT believe what Terry just did." He continues giggling. "What did Terry do?" You ask him, smiling a little at his giggles. "Okay, get this.." He starts off but then makes eye contact with Terry from across the room. That made him forget what he was gonna say. He just started laughing like a maniac. "I'll-I'll be back!!" he says, still laughing and leaves with the group of boys.

"And I thought he was gonna be the one who would take care of your tonight." Terry's girlfriend smiles. "I've never seen him so.. giggly." She says. "Oh trust me, somehow hes still worse when its just me and him and hes not even drunk." You shake your head and take a sip of your drink.

Round 6 of Twister. Anakin has his hands and knees on the ground where hes suppsed to have them on the colors. His friends face was under him and they were shaking, almost falling because of how hard they were laughing. Anakins cheeks were flushed red and his glasses kept sliding down. Out of no where, a few football guys tackled the ones playing twister. They all play fought but decided to take it to the bouncy house outside.

Yes, a bouncy house. Whoever threw this party knows how to have fun.. even if it's a little childish. There were all these boys wrestling in the bouncy house. It was hilarious. They managed to flip it over and they were freaking out, having flashbacks to when they were kids doing this and their parents would get so mad about it.

Anakin was in there. He was screaming and yelling with his friends.. but still wrestling. It got so crazy and hot in there that they all took off their shirts. Someone yelled out "THATS SO GAY!" and at that moment, it went quiet inside there. "Aw man," "God forbid an 18 year old man to have fun," "But I have socks on!," "Im not even gonna remember this tomorrow so I dont care," All those boys were talking over eachother, discussing how this definitely isnt gay.

Then, someone else turned the bouncy house off, and it started deflating with everyone in there. All of them screamed and tripped over each other, trying to find the way out. You were SO glad you weren't in there to experience how hot and sweaty it must be.

The night was fun. A lot of dancing, guys still wresting, loud music (good music.. not the bad, boring remixes they play in clubs nowadays.) Anakin had sobered up a little by 1AM but his shirt was no where to be found. "Aw man.. my moms gonna kill me." He sighed.

He didn't remember ANYTHING that next afternoon. Yes, afternoon. He slept the whole morning. Well, not counting the times he had to wake up to throw up. "My head hurts so much.. what did you do to me?" He whines, throwing his arm over his forehead like a damsel in distress. At least he had fun last Friday night..

—

So many photos and videos were posted on peoples social medias, and Anakin was in a lot of them. He went viral on a few videos. He was SO embarrassed when he went to school and even his teachers were like "Hey kid, is this you?" and then they'd show him a video of him playing just dance YMCA.

"No.." he shook his head and went straight to his seat. He didnt talk to anyone but you and his friends that day. He acted so embarrassed around other people, even you.. but with his friends.. he was laughing about it and was down to do it again one day. He's totally going to someone graduation party to get drunk again.

ITS FUN TO STAY AT THE YYYYMCAAA

@bxbyysstuff @anakinstwinklebunny @lovethestarrs @valloos @anisangeldust @xo-yaaaaaas-xo @anakinca @dollfilmz @alexlovesysrjune @sockiess @sythethecarrot @speaknow-sw

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organic-bloodbath · 5 months ago

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Hello! Could you write about Thanos and reader being childhood friends (also grew up having hugh crushes on each other) until they grew apart when he became a rapper, now they meet again in squid game when the reader is there to pay off her college debt and they almost didn't recognize each other because of how much time has gone by. When Thanos sees the reader in Gi-hun's group and finally recognizes her, he then remembers his long crush for the reader and falls more in love with her.

You and me, forever

Summary: As above.

A/N: Feeding you more fluffy softie Thanos, i hope this is okay 💜

☆☆☆

~ First meeting ~

Thanos and you had known each other ever since you were 8 years old, soon after you had moved to Korea from Japan.

One day everyone in your class had to make a Valentine's day card and give it to one of your classmates. The gesture didn't have to mean much in any deeper way, you were only 8 after all, but it brightened the children's day for getting a nice gesture from their classmate. You were allowed to give more than one if you wished so, it wasn't limited to one only.

Everyone got one or more, except you. You thought that you had been left without a card and you didn't know who you could give yours to, since you were mostly ignored by your classmates. You had difficulties being social, so you hadn't managed to make friends yet.

Until he approached you.

"Hi," he said quietly, almost shyly. "Here, this is for you. If you want, that is."

He offered you a pink card which had a red heart, sprinkled with red glitter, and the words of "Hapy Valetine's Day", with a typo, which you found adorable. You looked at him and blushed, you had seen him sitting in the back of the class but he had never spoken to you before.

"Oh, um," you stuttered and hesitantly took the card. "Thank you. Uh, here. You can have this."

You gave him your card, which was bright yellow with two stick figures holding hands, 'Happy Valentine's Day' written on top of them. The boy smiled at you.

"My name's Su-bong."

"I'm Y/N."

☆☆☆

~ First token of friendship ~

When you were 13 years old, you were in your room with him, sitting on the floor cross-legged, and making bracelets by putting different color beads into a plastic band. It was such a girly thing to do, but he had suggested it when he saw you wearing bracelets with two of your female friends.

"Here," he said and put the bracelet he had made on your wrist. You had finished yours a little after and put it on his wrist.

"I'll make sure to wear this for the rest of my life, Su-bong," you smiled.

"Me too, Y/N."

☆☆☆

~ First crush ~

The first time you truly realized your crush on him was when you were 14. Before that as a child, you hadn't really cared about boys in a romantic way, while your friends had talked boy dramas many times already and ranking the cutest boys in your class. You had been too young for that, until now.

Thanos, on the other hand, had developed a crush on you years before you were getting familiar with your feelings, but he didn't dare to tell you before you'd be older. He also thought that it would be just a silly little crush which would go away on its own, since he didn't have many other female friends, if at all, but his feelings just got stronger as more time passed.

On Valentine's Day, you were sick, having a high fever and couldn't get up from bed. Su-bong stayed at your house that day, watching movies with you. Your parents had to work late that night, so Su-bong warmed you some soup and made sure you had everything you needed.

He gave you strawberry ice cream, a bag of your favorite candies and a 'Happy Valentine's Day' card which you got each other every year.

"Didn't you have plans with your friends in an hour?" you asked. "You should leave so you have time to go home first."

"They'll be fine without me for one evening. I'm not leaving you alone in this state."

As expected, he got sick too a day later, but he would still always take care of you when you fell ill.

☆☆☆

~ First kiss ~

The first kiss you shared was at the age of 16. Neither of you had been prepared for it, it was just a total accident - atleast at first.

You had gone to the movies, and he was walking you home. You usually went to the movies together once a month, so it was nothing new, really. You shared your favorite scenes of the movie and overall what you thought about it. Usually you managed to choose a movie you both enjoyed, since you had very similar taste in movies.

When you arrived at your doorstep, you turned towards Su-bong one last time.

"Thank you for the evening, it was fun," you smiled, getting a smile back from him.

"It was, i'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll text you."

You were reaching towards his face to give him a quick kiss on his cheek, like you always did when you wished him a goodbye, but this time Su-bong turned his head just in time to accidentally make you kiss on his lips.

Your eyes widened and your cheeks felt suddenly hot for what had happened. You could see the same expression on his face as well, his cheeks turning pink.

"Oh, i'm, uh, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to-" he rambled.

"Yeah, me neither, it was totally just an accident," you tried to brush it off, but your voice was shaking. "Well, i'll just go then. Bye."

You turned around to leave but he grabbed your wrist, pulling you back towards him. You looked at him with your brows furrowed, cheeks still red.

"Can i... can i do that again?" he asked and put his hand on your cheeks, which sent electric sparks across your face. "If that's okay."

You didn't say anything back, just glanced at his lips and soon he pressed them on yours, pulling you into a kiss he had wanted to do for a long time by now.

You only melted in his arms and didn't want to let go.

☆☆☆

~ First broken heart ~

The last time you saw Su-bong was when you had finished high school. You left to attend college and he put his time to build a career as a rapper. You were so proud of him that he was finally achieving something that he had put a lot of work on and reaching his dreams.

When you moved away and you saw him for the last time, he promised that you'd stay in touch. You'd text, call, write letters, send postcards - anything. However, you decided to stay only as friends, since you both were sure a long distance relationship wouldn't work anyway and it would only end up ruining both of you.

Your love for him and his for you never faded, not even a little bit. You made a promise that whenever your studies would be over, you'd go back to Su-bong and start a life together, finally settling down wherever life was going to take you.

And you did stay in touch regularly, almost every day, for the first few months. Until he completely ghosted you and cut you out of your life without a word. It was like you had stopped existing for him. You had always supported him the most and when he walked into the music industry, he forgot all about you, and you never got to know the reason behind all that.

You thought it was supposed to be just the two of you, no matter what, until the world would end. When you didn't hear from him ever again, it was the first time you experienced having a broken heart.

☆☆☆

Now, ten years later, you were playing these games to either live or die. You had figured you weren't in as severe debts as most of the other players here, but you still had a lot of college debts to pay off. You had trouble finding work which would help you live comfortably and get the debts off your back. And you wanted them gone as soon as possible to move on with your life.

When people started dying during the first game, only one bullet in the head making them collapse on the ground, you were more terrified than ever before. One wrong move and you'd be one of the corpses as well. But you survived it, moving on to the next one after a good night's sleep - although, you were barely managing to fall asleep at all, the dozens of shots still ringing in your ears.

When Thanos saw you for the first time after an entire decade, he didn't recognise you at first. The last time he had seen you, you had dyed your long hair from your natural dark brown to lighter brown and had cut yourself bangs with your mom's kitchen scissors. You had used makeup, mostly playing with eyeliner and dark eyeshadow, putting on some lipstick once in a while, staining Thanos' cheek every time you had to go home, giving him a short kiss of goodbye. Although, obviously he had seen you without makeup too, but not as often as you both grew up towards adulthood.

Now, you had your natural hair color back, had grown out your bangs and weren't wearing any makeup. You had cut your hair shorter, just above your shoulders.

When the second game was about to start and you had to find a group of five, Thanos was missing couple of people for his group too. He was about to approach a girl who seemed to be alone, her back turned towards him, but before he managed to reach her, an older man - that same psycho shouting outside during the first game how you all were going to die - had come to talk to her, soon leading her to his group. Thanos sighed and turned around to scan other free players.

Thanos didn't look towards every group going through the challenge, perhaps a couple of them, until it was the turn of his group.

His group passed easily, as expected.

When the door opened and the last group arrived back, he heard a girl laughing. He got chills all the way down his spine. He could recognise that laugh anywhere. He looked towards the group arriving, and even though he was further away from you, he easily recognised you.

Y/N.

You were laughing at something another guy said, he couldn't hear what, but your laugh flew into his ears easily, as if it was meant specifically to him.

Was it really you? It couldn't be, it must be only someone who resembled you a lot. If it truly was you, he was anxious to face you. He knew you must be angry at him for abandoning you like he did years ago. He regretted putting his dreams of becoming a rapper before you, but he could never take it back. He couldn't have you back, could he?

Before the second game, you had been almost right in front of him before the other man had reached to you first. If he had been a minute earlier there, he could have faced you and in that case, almost have a seizure for the sudden shock.

"What are you staring at?" Nam-gyu asked but Thanos didn't move his gaze away from you for even a second. You weren't looking at his direction at all, keeping your attention on the conversation with those men. You looked like you were having a good time, and to see you smile had always warmed Thanos' heart.

"Nothing, mind your own business," Thanos scoffed.

"Fine, just asked," Nam-gyu rolled his eyes.

☆☆☆

Your gazes across the room met for the first time that same evening after the votings were over. You had pressed X, separating you from him to the opposite team.

He couldn't read your expression well what you might have been thinking. Your gaze seemed empty, like you had no emotions when Thanos looked at you. Surely you recognised him, right?

He hadn't expected you to excitedly wave your hand at him, then run towards him and fall into his arms, wrapping yourself around him so tightly he could barely breathe.

"Oh, Su-bong, i missed you so much!" you would exclaim against his shirt. "Thank god you're here!"

But no. You only turned your head back to player 456 and player 388.

Thanos wanted to go and talk to you more than anything but what would he say? And in front of your team too? He had to wait so you'd be alone but he didn't know how long that would take, you seemed to be glued to your group.

Would you want to talk to him? He knew you must be angry at him for doing and acting how he did - the one person who had supported him through all the good and bad. He knew he'd have to earn your forgiveness.

☆☆☆

During the Mingle game, when it was time to find a group of 2, Thanos saw you in the distance. Player 388 was holding your hand, starting to lead you towards a room, but Thanos ran towards you before you managed to run too far.

He grabbed your free hand and pulled you to him, squeezing your hand so tightly in his that you couldn't let go.

Thanos pushed you into a room with him and soon, the door was locked.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" you yelled. "I was with Dae-ho! And if he's dead when i walk out of this room, i'll never forgive you."

You were looking into his eyes, anger flaming in them and Thanos was even a little afraid, almost taking a step back.

"Listen, i just needed to talk to you alone-"

"And you could have done that when the game ended, hm? Or are you so scared to face me in front of your friends and everyone else? Scared if i'd be pissed off at you after these years or what?"

"Please just, let's talk," Thanos pleaded.

You just crossed your arms on your chest.

"Okay, speak," you spat.

"I'm sorry," Thanos said quickly. "You have no idea how much i regret pushing you away from me."

You wiped your face with your palm in frustration and closed your eyes for a moment. When Thanos noticed what you had on your wrist, his heart stopped for a moment. He quickly grabbed your hand, even though you tried to pull away at first.

"You still wear this?" Thanos whispered, brushing his fingers on the colorful beads on your bracelet. The exact same one Thanos had made for you when you were only 13 years old.

A tint of blush rose on your cheeks and you tried to look away, but Thanos turned your head back to look at him, finger on your chin.

"Why?" Thanos asked quietly.

"I don't know, i just like it," you mumbled, trying to act all nonchalant, but when Thanos pulled his sleeve up, your face fell.

You looked at the pink and purple beads you had put on the bracelet years ago.

"You're my lucky charm," Thanos smiled. "Even though we grew apart, i always needed to keep a part of you with me."

Your stomach twisted and eyes were in risk to start watering up but you managed to keep your cool.

"Oh, wow, well," you mumbled, a slight smile visiting your face, but you forced it away as quickly as it had appeared. "If you wanted to keep me with you, why did you cut me off?"

Your face looked extremely hurt and it broke Thanos' heart.

"I don't know," he awkwardly said. "Everything became so hectic and busy, you were so far away from me... i don't know."

You let out a deep sigh.

"Would there be a possibility for a second chance, perhaps?" Thanos asked carefully, almost afraid to say the words outloud. Your time in the small room was running down, and Thanos needed to make sure you didn't start avoiding him for the rest of the games. "I want to make things better between us. And I'd be happy to hear what your life is like these days."

"Depends if you just killed my new friend or not."

☆☆☆

Dae-ho was alright, he had found a partner after Thanos had ripped you away from him so rudely during the game. Thank god for that. You had immediately rushed towards Dae-ho and apologised for Thanos' behavior.

You and Thanos sat together, just the two of you, and talked about both of your lives a little bit. He told you about his life as a rapper, all the good and bad sides of it, and even though you were slightly mad at him, you couldn't be more proud of him what he had achieved by far. You told him about your life in college and your studies, as well as some of your friends.

"You know," Thanos started slowly. "I've looked at your Instagram once in a while."

You lifted your eyebrows, surprised for a moment.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. Your life seemed so good and it looked like you had it all well. You posted pictures of your friends, so i thought you had enough people around you that you wouldn't need me anymore," Thanos confessed, his voice turning more quiet as he spoke.

"Su-bong..."

"I shouldn't have just assumed things because of social media but you just looked so happy."

"I am happy with my life," you admitted. "But that doesn't mean that there wouldn't be space for you too."

Thanos looked at you with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "Eventually i just got afraid of suddenly messaging you out of nowhere, so i never did."

"I would always take you back into my life, no matter how mad i would get at you," you sighed. He broke your heart and as the years passed, you thought you had gotten over him. But now that he was sitting right next to him, you knew you could never walk out of the door when he was still in the room. "You were the most important person to me half of my childhood, it leaves a deep mark into my heart, even if i didn't want to have it."

"You were the most important person to me too," he whispered.

You didn't answer for that, your thoughts and feelings were just a huge mess right now. Thanos wanted to take your hand in his, your hands had always been so soft, but he was anxious you might not let him.

"So," Thanos started awkwardly after a short silence. "Is there a boyfriend in the picture right now?"

"There was," you said, "but we broke up a few weeks ago."

Thanos felt two emotions at the same time of your words - happy for himself, sad for seeing the sorrow on your face.

"What happened?"

"He cheated on me," you chuckled nervously, though you found nothing funny about that. "Yeah, we dated for a year and he was sleeping with another girl for a few months."

Thanos felt anger inside him. How could anyone cheat on such a beautiful girl like you? Who was not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well. Thanos laid his hand on your shoulder.

"What's his name? You want me to go and beat him up when we get home?" Thanos asked and by the tone of his voice you weren't sure if he was only joking or dead serious. "Just say the word and i'll go give him a little life lesson on how to treat women."

"God, no," you laughed. "He's not worth any more of my attention and i don't want you to get in trouble. How about you then? Any girl in sight who you've already introduced to your parents?"

Thanos looked at you in the eyes for a moment, slight smile on his lips.

"There is one," Thanos said.

"Hm, really?" you asked, sounding almost surprised. You felt a sting in your heart which you tried to ignore.

"Yep, my parents absolutely adore her. I've been in love with her for years. She's funny, beautiful, though very clumsy, her laugh makes me go insane and i could listen to her tell stories all day," Thanos described. "The list of things what i've always loved about her is endless."

"She sounds like a perfect girl," you said quietly, trying not to sound hurt.

Thanos put his finger on your chin and made you look at him in the eyes.

"And she's sitting right in front of me, right now," Thanos said with teary eyes. "And i miss all the years i've wasted apart from her."

You bit your lip, heart hammering against your chest so hard you were sure it could burst open any moment.

"Y/N," Thanos started. "When the games are over - will you give me another chance? To be a part of your life?"

A smile spread on your face.

"I'll beg on my knees as long as i need to," he said and went down on his knees in front of you, finally taking your hands in his.

"Get up," you chuckled. "Buy me a dinner and i'll think about it." And that was enough for Thanos.

You pulled him up and wrapped your arms around him. This was the moment you realised how much you truly had missed this man. It didn't matter how long you would be apart, he'd always be that one person who you wanted by your side for the rest of your life.

Even after all this time, you knew it wouldn't be hard to start loving him again. You'd have to take it slowly, scared of him breaking you again, but you'd welcome him back.

You'd always take him back.

#squid game imagine #squid game x reader #choi su bong imagine #choi su bong x reader #thanos imagine #thanos x reader #choi su bong #squid game

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snowy-vee · 1 year ago

Text

ALL MINE (3)

oblivious loser bsf! ellie williams x posesive popular bsf!fem reader

n/a: I may have rushed things! but I prefer to trust the process and cook a little bit more. I hope you all like it. Also, does the taglist works how I've done it or there's another way to do a taglist?

trigger warnings;; mention of vomit (1), idk if catalog it into violence because there's none but intense argue(?

Pt.1 HERE

pt.2 HERE

pt.4 HERE

Inform yourself about what’s happening and how to help! FREE PALESTINE, FREE CONGO.

Ellie was in such a boring class that she barely noticed when it ended and people started to pack up; a few of her classmates were waiting for her at the entrance of the door, so she hurried out with them. They discussed the topics covered in class today as they walked to the dinning hall.

“Ellie!” you called out, causing both her and her classmates to turn; you were on the opposite path from her, so you had to run a bit to reach her side faster. You opened your gym bag and pulled out the folder Ellie had left in your room last night after studying together. “Your folder, you said you needed it today.”

You were dressed in your cheerleading uniform since you had practice right now. Ellie, who had been a little dazed watching the movement of your skirt as you ran, nodded, feeling her cheeks burn, and indeed, you looked so pretty, especially when you said goodbye and turned around, showing the small bow in the back of your hair.

“Sometimes I forget you’re friends with someone so popular. How is it possible that you’re friends with her?” one of them said, mesmerized by your presence, like the rest of the group

“Well, we are, best friends,” Ellie asserted with a smile. It’s true that she was annoyed when people questioned your friendship, but she was happy to have you as a friend, and perhaps she also enjoyed the feeling of envy from others…

“Yeah but she is popular, pretty, hangs out with her kind of cliché, goes to every party invited ¡Hell! She could be an influencer if she wanted to… and you are you”

“Hey, I have my own charm” Ellie said softly feeling a little bit offended “Whatever, we’ve been friend for so many years and that’s what matters”

“Really? Then do you know if the rumours about her and Abby are true? I think it’s the hottest gossip on campus, the cheerleading captain and the captain of the women’s basketball team.”

“They’re all lies, don’t believe any of that. She wouldn’t be with someone like Abby,” Ellie said, dismissing the comments, and she sounded so sure of what she was saying, especially because you assured her of it the same night of the party.

Finally, you had arrived home, you were so tired that as soon as you got to your room, you collapsed on the bed.

“At least change before you throw yourself on the bed,” Ellie leaned against the door of your room. You nodded, kicking off your shoes and getting up to grab your pajamas; you began to undress in front of her, caring little, as it wasn’t the first time.

Ellie, without changing her position, watched as you slowly untied the knot of your top and let it fall, exposing your purple bra, unbuttoning the button of your skirt and slowly lowering the zipper. The skirt fell quickly, revealing your white panties with purple bows matching the bra.

She bit her lip as she looked at your body until she reached your collarbones; there was a hickey, and it looked recent. “Did… Abby do that?”

“Hmm?” You looked at her, she pointed to her collarbone, making you look at yourself in the mirror, seeing the hickey.

‘Shit, I told her not to leave marks.’ you thought rolling your eyes mentally

“Did she do that to you?” Ellie had a slight grimace of disgust as she asked the question, obviously she noticed.

“Of course not! It was some guy I was dancing with.”

“You swear? Because you know that I do not like Abby at all.”

You fucking knew it, that’s why when you were mad at her you used to call Abby. You knew how much it would hurt her, you had no idea why they hated each other and everytime you asked her she said that she had her reasons and was protecting you.

“I swear, I would never do that to you. Abby does want something with me, I think she’s obssesed with me, she’s telling people things that never happen, spreading false rumors,” you sighed as you finished putting on your pajamas, approaching Ellie and putting your hands on her shoulders. “At the party today, she tried to talk to me and go further, but I told her no, to leave me alone, she got really mad and threatened to keep spreading rumors, and I told her I didn’t care.”

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this? I could’ve defend you.”

“Oh, Ellie, please, I know you can but do you know how many rumors there are about me? I don’t care what others think; I care that you trust me. Do you trust me?”

“Completely,” she smiled before you kissed her on the cheek and let her go while you went to the bathroom to remove your makeup changing the topic.

Ellie smiled too, of course she trusted you, that’s why she was now in front of her classmates denying the rumors, no matter how much you didn’t care, she wasn’t going to let people talk nonsense about you. No one knew you like she did.

“Are you sure? Because Abby has been telling the whole team how much of a naughty bitch, how good she could take her seven inches strap, other nasty things I can’t repeat and that she had video proof…” the guy beside Ellie spoke while looking at his phone.

“What? Unbelievable! Isn’t that like revenge corn?” Another girl said looking at his phone as well.

Her smile dropped. “What did you just say?”

She stopped walking, and with her, the group. The guy who said that showed her his phone, it was a group chat with the football and basketball team, and Abby had sent different pictures that one could only see them once. “You’ve seen them?”

“N-no she hasn’t showed them yet but would do it soon…”

“Can you confirm that she was talking about her”

“It’s pretty much her name and physic description, yeah,” Ellie licked her lips, nodding slowly.

“Does anyone know where Abby is right now?”

(What happened in the fight?)

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

You began to climb the stairs to your floor, Ellie and you lived on the first floor so it took less than a minute, phone in your hand, calling Ellie for the twelfth time. Since you finished practice, you had been calling her to come pick you up without getting a response, not even a message.

By the time you were turning the keys and opening the door, your whole body was filled with worry, but seeing her shoes, you felt a little relieved. “Ellie? Hey, if you’re not going to come pick me up, let me know beforehand! And answer my calls even if it’s just for a second! You had me worried.”

You took off your shoes and left the keys at the entrance, noticing her backpack lying on the floor with all her things scattered about. You sighed, leaving your bag on the kitchen counter and crouching down to start picking up her things. “Ellie?”

You finished picking up and placed everything inside. The door to her room was halfway open, and you could see the light was on. “Don’t you hear me calling your name?”

You entered the room, placing the backpack next to the wardrobe. Ellie was sitting on the edge of her bed with her back to you. The atmosphere felt so tense that it made you involuntarily swallow.

“I want you to be honest with me,” she said in an intimidating tone, suddenly a shiver ran down your spine. “And I want the truth, if you lie to me…”

She let out an incredulous laugh. “If you lie to me again…” Your breath caught, thinking about what lie you had told Ellie, all small except for… Impossible, Abby wouldn’t spill, you had Abby under control.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What’s wrong?” You tried to approach, but Ellie raised her hand.

“Stay where you are, or move away from there.”

“Ellie-”

“Shut the fuck up!” she interrupted you. “Did you or did you not fuck Abby?”

What you were praying that wasn’t the problem was exactly the problem. You didn’t know where to hide, your legs seemed to want to flee, you wished the ground would swallow you up at that very moment. You tried to say something, but your lips were trembling. Were you going to lie again? No. It was obvious that she already knew everything; she just wanted to hear it from you.

“Did you or did you not fuck Abby?” Ellie repeated the question, now more demanding and intimidating, making your eyes start to fill with tears. You hated confrontations, especially if it was your fault.

“Yes,” you whispered, looking at the ground and clasping your hands, embarrassed by how ashamed you were starting to feel.

“What? I can’t hear you.”

“Oh my fucking god, Ellie! Yes, I fucked her, I fucking did!” you exclaimed, tired of how tense your body was becoming. She nodded slowly, getting up from her bed and turning to face you. “What the fuck? What have you done?”

Her lip was split with dried blood on it, she also had a bruise next to her eye and a split eyebrow. Your concerned face made her chuckle. “If this worries you, you should see Anderson.”

You unconsciously approached, trying to touch the wounds, but Ellie stopped your hand at that moment. You were maintaining such intense eye contact that it seemed like you were communicating. You were asking her to let you clean her wounds and disinfect them; she was asking you how you could betray her like this.

“You lied to my fucking face. Was it funny?” Her grip felt more painful. “What? Were you two laughing at me behind my back?” You two were close, but Ellie started taking steps closer to you, so you had no choice but to take some steps back until your were was pressed against the wall.

“It’s not like that, Ellie… my wrist- you are hurting me,” you said, feeling tears running down your face.

“Not like that? And how the fuck was it?” She screamed, making you feel smaller and making you cry more. “Explain it to me! Because I can’t understand why the fuck my best friend went behind my back to fuck the person I hate the most out of everybody on the fucking earth. Oh God! I knew you were a whore, but I never thought you would sacrifice our friendship for some sex.”

You couldn’t answer as you cried; for a moment, Ellie loosened her grip on your wrist, and you could see her eyes also filling with tears. You couldn’t hate yourself more at that moment.

“Why? I just want to know. There has to be an explanation for you to do this to me.”

“It meant nothing, I swear, it was just a few times, nothing serious,” you tried to excuse yourself, wiping your tears with your hands, but it was useless, they kept falling.

“Did she give you the hickey?” You sighed exhausted, looking at the other side, but she grabbed your jaw, forcing you to face her and look her in the eyes. “Answer.”

You nodded. Ellie let go of you, shaking her head, raising her hands in the air, defeated, watching you slide until you were sitting on the floor.

“Incredible… When was the last time except for the party?”

“That morning… She was the one who drove me to class; we did it on the couch. But then I ignored her once we got to class, that’s why you saw me arguing with her in the hallway.” You didn’t even know why you were giving so much explanation.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

Ellie really wanted a clear answer, but it seemed so pathetic to tell her that you were fucking Abby to mentally punish her for annoying you. It was your way of torturing her without her finding out because many things Ellie did annoyed you, especially when she didn’t do things your way. You knew perfectly well how she would react if she found out, but you never thought it would hurt you so much. You shrugged, looking at her; you didn’t know what to say, but you knew what not to say.

“I can’t see you right now,” Ellie said, grabbing her jacket and leaving the room.

“Wait, where are you going?” you asked, almost crawling to follow her. “Ellie!”

You shouted her name, but the door slamming shut was enough to make you shut up and leave you there, alone on the floor, crying, and you could have kept going if it weren’t for the sound of a phone. Ellie’s phone.

You approached the bed where it was, seeing that she was being called. Dina was calling her and also sending messages; you managed to read one above:

Dina<333

Of course, you can come to my house, but are you…

As if someone had kicked you in the stomach, you ran to the bathroom to vomit until you couldn’t anymore. You had pushed Ellie towards Dina yourself.

No, that’s not how the story should continue. Everything was going so well. After the party, Dina started ignoring Ellie all week, and she barely wondered why the raven-haired girl wasn’t talking to her like before, because Ellie was busy looking out for you.

She would leave her classes directly to find you, not giving Abby a chance to talk to you. She accompanied you at the beginning of your classes even if it meant she was late for hers… She was there for you 24/7, and it was so perfect for you. What was the mistake you made? Did you make it, or was it Abby? It was her. She ruined your precious environment and your relationship with Ellie.

At least that’s what you thought as you grabbed your keys and quickly left the house. Oh, you were going to fuck Abby. Fuck her UP.

taglist;; @boobdrug @lovelyxbaby @pedropascalsbbg @cherryimaa

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lucy90712 · 25 days ago

Text

Protect you- Pedri

A/n: my requests are open so feel free to spend me your ideas

Winter has been long and miserable in Barcelona this year but finally it's beginning to warm up which has brought the city to life. Out my apartment window I've seen so many people walking past to head to the city or the other way to the beach. I should be doing work on my last few assignments before I finally finish my degree but the lure of the sun was too strong so I decided it was time for a break and a walk in the warm weather. To give myself a task so I didn't feel as bad about going out I decided to walk into the town centre to get a smoothie to enjoy in the sun before heading home.

I have always thought the nice weather brings out the best in people it just cheers everyone up. I was proven to be correct because so many people said hi to me or made a comment about the nice weather on my short walk to the town centre. The town centre was full of people, families, groups of friends and people out on their own. It's moments like this that make me realise how lucky I am to live in Barcelona it's such a beautiful city with such a great sense of community.

After a quick stroll around the town centre and a quick stop into a book store to get a new book I've been wanting I found a smoothie place that looked really good. The line was long but I didn't mind because the girl in front of me was one of my classmates so we caught up and talked about our assignment which is the one I abandoned to come out. Once I got my smoothie I managed to find a free bench so it and enjoy it with my book.

My book was so good that I didn't even notice a group of guys sit next to me on the bench. When I did notice I didn't care I mean it's busy out and I'm sat here on my own and there's room for them so I didn't say anything. Everything was fine for a few minutes but then they moved closer and started harassing me. Despite me ignoring them they kept commenting on my outfit and my body which made me really uncomfortable but I tried not to show it and give them the satisfaction of knowing they got to me. My lack of reaction only seemed to spur them on as their comments only got more and more sexual and vulgar so I tried to move further away but they only scooted closer every time I moved.

By that point I'd had enough my break from uni work outside was well and truly ruined so I just got up to leave and go back home. I hadn't even made one step away before one of the guys in the group grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him. His hands quickly went to my waist then another of the guys grabbed my ass. That's when panic set in I thought I could just walk away and be done with this interaction but clearly I can't and now I don't know how to get away. I tried pulling away but they only grabbed me harder really hurting me to the point that I couldn't stop tears falling down my face. The only thing I could think to do at this point was plead with them to let me go.

"Please let me go please" I begged

"Why should I" one of the guys taunted

"You're hurting me please stop" I said

"Hey let go of her" I heard someone yell from behind me

"Fuck off she's ours" another of the guys said

"No she's not she's crying and begging you to let her go leave or I'll call the police" the same person argued

The group of guys looked up and all of a sudden they let go of me and ran away into the distance hopefully not to find another girl to harass. Once they let go of me I was still too weak and in shock to stand but the guy who saved me managed to catch me before I fell to the floor and helped me sit back on the bench. It was only then that what just happened really sunk in. Anything could've happened if that guy didn't notice what was happening and take a few seconds out of his day to say something things could've been so much worse. All the thoughts of what could've happened only made me spiral more that coupled with the pain I was starting to feel on my wrists and my waist made me sob even harder.

"Hey it's ok you're safe now I'm not going to hurt you" my saviour said

"How about we go somewhere quieter my car is just around the corner you can sit as long as you want there" he suggested

No words came out of my mouth I simply just nodded my head so he offered me his hand which I took and he led me to his car. It was probably a stupid decision after what just happened to me to go with some stranger but for some reason I trust this guy. I have no idea who he is but he chose to help me and then make sure I'm ok which in my mind makes him trustworthy enough to believe he won't take advantage of me. When we got to his car I knew I'd made the right choice as he opened the door for me and offered me a water bottle he had in the car before putting on some music to help relax me.

After a little while I sorted out all the thoughts in my brain and managed to calm myself down. Once there was no tears in my eyes I finally got a good look at the guy that protected me. Seeing his face had me freaking out all over again I recognised him straight away and I don't know how I didn't notice before. Pedri the Pedri was sat in the drivers seat across from me. I must've looked like I'd seen a ghost because he looked at me with pure concern in his eyes but all I was thinking about was why he chose to help me and why he stuck around. It was a surprise to me that any guy chose to help me let alone someone like Pedri who could've hurt his reputation if someone recorded him yelling at those guys. Weirdly it made me feel good that he saw what was happening and chose to help instead of just walking away like he so easily could have.

"Th-thank you for h-helping me" I stuttered

"You don't need to thank me it was the right thing to do" Pedri said

"Are you ok did they hurt you?" He asked

"I'm mostly ok still a bit shaken up I think my wrists and waist are going to bruise but I'll be ok" I said

"I'm sorry this happened to you those guys are assholes let's hope one day the get caught and locked up" he said

"I'd pay to see that" I laughed

"I feel like I need to do more to thank you you probably saved my life out there can I get you dinner or something to show my gratitude" I said

"I can't let you do that I earn way too much to take anything from anyone else let alone someone who's just been through such a scary situation how about we go to dinner together but you don't have to pay for me we’ll just have a good time" he said

I didn't need much convincing to say yes so we got back out of his car and walked to a local restaurant in town which I've never been to before but always wanted to try. It was really busy but somehow we got given a table straight away which is probably a benefit of being there with a famous footballer. Once we ordered things got a little awkward but we quickly got into a conversation and then we only stopped talking to take bites of our food. Pedri's so normal it took me by surprise a little but it made me feel like I could be myself around him instead of worrying that he might judge me. He listened intently to everything I told him about my life and my studies and even asked me questions because he was truly interested in getting to know me which I really didn't expect.

We had a great time and I completely forgot about what happened earlier which made me wonder if that's why Pedri suggested we have dinner together to distract me. He paid for both our meals despite my protests but he wouldn't back down so eventually I had to give in and let him pay. When we left the restaurant it was starting to get dark out so Pedri made me go back to his car with him so he could drive me home which I didn't have any problem with as the thought of walking home in the dark did scare me.

Once we reached my place I didn't really want to get out because as much as today has been quite stressful and scary Pedri really made me feel better and restored my faith in humanity. I really enjoyed getting to know Pedri for who he is outside of football and it feels like once I get out the car that will only ever be a memory as we're unlikely to bump into each other again as our lives are so different our paths will probably never cross again. Sadly though I can't sit there forever so I found the door handle to open the car door but Pedri stopped me.

"Wait before you go can I have your number I know today's been awful for you but I really liked spending time with you and I'd like to do that again hopefully under better circumstances" he said

"I'd really like that give me your phone and I'll put my number in" I said

"Thank you I promise I'll text soon and we'll find a time we're both free in the meantime take care of yourself" he said

"I will try my best" I laughed

With that we said goodbye but not forever like I was expecting just a goodbye for now.

#pedri x reader #pedri imagine #pedri #football imagine #pedri gonzalez imagines

58 notes · View notes

haniette · 1 year ago

Text

with you.

pairing | yoon jeonghan x fem!reader

genre | pure fluff </3, babysitting au, established relationship au, non-idol au, comfort

word count | 5.6k

warnings | just jeonghan with kids :’), use of pet names (love, angel), kissing, mentions of pregnancy and having a child, cuteness everywhere, sneaky jeonghan, what should i say more- joshua as your brother and a dad ^^

summary: babysitting your brother’s daughter was always one of your favorite things to do. but you didn’t know that it might be even better if someone joins you, especially someone who you love the most.

a/n: here is a small drabble that has been rotting in my docs for so long already.. ㅠㅠ after watching TOO MANY (oops-) videos with jeonghan with kids i couldn’t stop myself… but hope you’ll enjoy it ! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡♡

“Gosh y/n, you’re literally an angel!”

Joshua, your brother, said enthusiastically as soon as he walked into your apartment.

Him, together with his wife were invited to a meeting with their old classmates, as it was already 10 years after their highschool graduation. However, the problem was that they couldn’t go there with their 3 years old daughter, Minji as they wouldn’t probably have that much time to give her the attention. Come on, after all they really wanted to meet their friends calmly, even though Minji wasn’t a big troublemaker.

So you decided to help your sibling, and for one day you volunteered to take care of the girl. You consulted everything with Miyoon, Joshua’s wife, so when your brother got to know that you’ll take care of Minji while they’ll be gone for a day, he was all over the moon as the problem of who they should leave their daughter with was giving him sleepless nights.

Your brother gently placed his 3 year old in your arms, kissing her cheek sweetly to which she let out a cute giggle. Miyoon was standing silently right next to Joshua. She was smiling lovely, while looking at her daughter and husband with such admiration shining in her eyes.

You chuckled, “Seriously! It's no problem for me. Spending time with this little sweetheart is pure pleasure, and taking care of her is hassle-free. Right, Minji?” the girl in your arms placed her head in the crook of your neck, while nodding gently.

Your brother cooed at Minji’s reaction and you laughed under your nose, while hugging the little girl closer to your body.

“I hope that she won’t cause any problems though.” Miyoon uttered, making you shift your eyes at her.

“If anything would happen, let us know immediately, and we’ll drive back to pick her up.” the girl added with Joshua nodding at her words, and you sent them a reassuring smile while affirming to them that you’ll call instantly if something happens.

“Minji mostly goes to sleep at 8 PM and if she’ll have any troubles with falling asleep, you can heat up some milk for her, she really likes it. But you can also read her a bedtime story or hum a song.” Joshua said in the doorway, and you placed the girl on the floor to run around your apartment with her favorite plushie in her hand.

She immediately ran up to your golden retriever, who was happily observing what’s happening the whole time.

You smiled at your brother with pity visible on your face, “Shua, please. It’s not my first time taking care of Minji.” you crossed your hands over your chest, “Seriously. You don’t have to worry about us.”

Miyoon chuckled as she watched how flustered Joshua got at your point. Then she gently patted his arm, “Babe, we need to get going. We still have around 2.5 hours to drive.” she muttered softly, and your brother nodded at her words while sending her his bright smile.

For the last time, Joshua and Miyoon thanked you, and (hesitantly) the two of them finally left your apartment, leaving you with Minji who was currently busy gently petting Seoli, your dog.

You watched her from the side for a bit, before you melted at her cutest behavior. Slowly, you approached them and Seoli immediately ran up to you, bringing Minji right after her. The girl gripped tightly around your leg, showing her gummy smile to you.

“Hi angel.” you crouched down, and poked Minji’s cheek to which the girl let out an adorable giggle. She wrapped her arms around your neck and hugged you tightly, making you smile widely.

“Please hold still, auntie! I’ll get the band-aid for you~” Minji melodized, and she ran quickly towards her pink backpack where she had all of her toys hidden, looking for the band-aid for you.

You two were in the middle of playing ‘doctor and patient’ and you sat on the couch, acting as if something happened on your cheek. Minji of course was the doctor, and she played as if she had to cure you.

Seoli, already tired after following everything you two did, was now laying on the fluffy carpet next to the sofa, silently observing both of you.

It was already 3 hours since Joshua and Miyoon left, and you were desperately trying to do anything with Minji until the time where you two would eat lunch, and then take a small nap.

So during this whole time, you already drew and coloured in Minji’s coloring books, played with her tiny animal figurines, played in a hairstylist, and had a small snack break.

But all of it was actually pretty much fun and you couldn’t complain. Minji was a really cute and happy child, which she probably got from her amazing father. However, she also got the softness and care that you could observe in the way of how she treated you as the ‘doctor’, from her sweet mother.

After a minute, Minji ran back to you with a pink colored band-aid that had smiley butterflies on it. She sat on the couch to get closer to you, and started sticking the band-aid to your cheek.

The girl was doing it with such patience and focus that it gave you an opportunity to look closer at her. And you immediately noticed how beautiful her eyes looked, as she had taken after Shua.

You were always jealous of your brother’s eyes as he was the one who got your mom’s eyes. Even though your eyes also looked similar to his, you also had a lot from your father.

The girl started to giggle as she was excited, and you couldn’t help but melt at her cutest behavior. And just as Minji was about to finish sticking the band-aid, the two of you twitched as you heard a voice in the room.

“Did I miraculously wake up in the future, and you’re playing with our little daughter?” your boyfriend’s still a little hoarse voice rang in your ears, immediately putting your heart in calm, bringing a warm smile to your lips. But you couldn’t stop blushing because of his statement.

“What? Hannie, no!” you chuckled at his words and added “This is literally my niece!” to which the boy pouted in disappointment because of the harsh reality (deep down, he really hoped that you would say yes).

“How are you, hm? Do you feel better?” you asked, smiling at him as the boy approached the two of you slowly, laying down on the couch while placing his head on your lap.

“Yup. I feel much better now, love.” Jeonghan replied smoothly, while getting comfortable on your lap.

Then he shifted his eyes on Minji, who was already observing him, curious about his sudden appearance. The boy smiled at her to which she smiled brightly, tilting her head to the side.

“I think you have a real patient here, Minji.” you chuckled under your nose, “Uncle Jeonghan had a biiiig~ headache this morning, so maybe you can take care of him now.” you started to gently play with Jeonghan’s dark hair.

It was really soft in the touch that you couldn’t stop yourself from playing with it, and starting to loosely braid it. Not as if Jeonghan minded you doing that.

The girl nodded happily while running again to her backpack, taking all of the needed supplies to play with Jeonghan.

“Should I be scared?” Jeonghan whispered to you with a playful smile on his lips, looking at the pink band-aid still stuck to your cheek.

“No, don’t worry.” you chuckled softly, glancing at Minji who was busy searching for her toys, “Doctor Hong is really gentle with her doings.” you added, and Jeonghan chuckled as you sent him a bright grin.

Not so long after, Minji joined you two again and Jeonghan was forced to (unfortunately) sit up from your lap as she started to play with him.

You observed all of this silently from the side, with a big smile on your face, and your heart growing with love. The way Jeonghan was playing with her, using his baby voice while speaking with her, and treating her gently as if she was the most fragile thing in the world was making it really hard for you not to fall in love with him even deeper — if that was even possible.

“Auntie!” Minji’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, to which you quickly moved your attention to her.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“You have to give uncle Jeonghan a kiss.

You froze.

“W-what?” you stuttered, and the girl blinked at you with confusion.

“You have to give a kiss of love to uncle, so it will make him feel better! You know.. kiss of love! He said that his head still hurts..” Minji pouted, and looked at you with her shining, doe eyes.

Oh.. how could you refuse her?

So you looked at the main reason for your currently pink cheeks, and your eyes immediately locked with Jeonghan’s, dark one’s. His gaze was addicting for you. You could stare into it all day long.

But the way he was looking at you right now, with that smirk and playfulness dancing freely in his eyes, was making you feel really flustered.

“Come on, y/n. You have to give me a kiss~” Jeonghan urged you, holding himself from laughing out loud because of how much he loved to tease you this way.

You knew that he was feeling fine now, and that his head didn’t hurt anymore. It was normal for Jeonghan that sometimes when he came home late after an exhausting day, the boy got headaches as soon as he woke up in the morning. That’s how you always made him stay in bed and sleep more, most of the time with you by his side.

But now, he was just using the fact that you had a soft spot for Minji (and also for him) so you couldn’t refuse her requests. And without any other choice left for you, slowly, you leaned closer and placed a sweet kiss on Jeonghan’s forehead. But just when you were about to pull back, his hands softly cupped your cheeks and attached his lips to yours, connecting you in a real kiss.

Quickly realizing what just happened, you pulled away from the boy, making him confused at your sudden change. Minji was squealing from happiness while jumping on the couch and hugging you tightly. Gently, you hit Jeonghan’s arm while trying to act as if you’re mad at him. The boy let out a giggle that made you smile even wider.

“Now I feel much better.” Jeonghan uttered, to which you snorted and rolled your eyes at his behavior, resting your chin on top of snuggling to you Minji.

“Are you ready, Ji?”

Jeonghan asked with a big smile shining on his lips, feeling as excited as the little girl who was currently jumping beside him. He was crouching in front of her while trying to help her put on her jacket and a fluffy hat with bear ears on the top.

You were tying your shoes as your lips curved into a soft smile. Your boyfriend was chasing after Minji through your apartment as just a second ago the girl stole his scarf. The sight of how Jeonghan was happy with your niece was making you chuckle, while feeling warm deep in your heart.

As the snow continued to fall throughout the day, you all decided to go on a walk and play for some time in the snow. Minji immediately accepted that idea, saying that she really wants to go out with her favorite (right after her parents) people, and see the snow.

“You guys can already leave, I’ll join you in a second.” you stated, and Jeonghan nodded at your words with a soft smile spreading on his lips.

He quickly tapped Minji’s head, shouting, “Tag, you’re it!”

Then he ran out from the apartment, just to have Minji running just behind him, screaming his name.

You decided to pack a snack for Minji in your bag in case she gets hungry, and also take warmer clothes for the three of you. You had no idea for how long you’re going to be out, and as it was already the middle of January, so the evenings were really cold.

That’s why you took a small, pastel pink hoodie from Minji’s bag with spare clothes that her lovely parents left for her, and two Jeonghan’s sweatshirts (one for him, and also one for you of course). Some hand warmers and you were ready to go.

Being in a relationship with Jeonghan for almost 5 years now (and 15 years in friendship), has taught you many things. For example, you should always watch your back, if he’s not planning to pull any of his stupid pranks on you (which you actually adored). Always watch his hand movements carefully, he will always try to cheat. Never let him in the kitchen or you want to get it burned down.

And also his really low cold tolerance. He could get cold really easily, so you always had to be one step ahead by having a hand warmer hidden somewhere in the pocket of your coat for him. His reaction was always the best as he always got shy when you sneaked the hot pack into his hand, ostensibly to hold his hand.

As you finished zipping your bag, you were finally done with packing all of the necessary things. You took your keys from the drawer and left the apartment, locking the door behind you.

When you left the building, Minji was clinging to Jeonghan’s arm, who was crouching, busy doing something. From this proximity you couldn’t really tell what they were doing, but as soon as you got closer, you noticed a stray cat sitting by them.

Jeonghan was petting its head gently, cooing at the cat while Minji was observing everything behind Jeonghan’s arm. A smile spread on your lips as you approached them.

“Only a minute without me, and you already found my replacement. You are so toxic, guys.” you chuckled, and the two of them raised their heads to look at you.

Jeonghan quickly sent you an ‘are-you-serious-right-now’ look, before getting up and gently kissing your cheek. He placed his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“And only a minute without me, and you’re already saying nonsense, love.” he uttered as he sent you a lazy smirk, cupping your face with his hands.

“I would have never replaced you.” Jeonghan left a sweet kiss on your lips, to which you quickly turned away when he pulled away from you, chuckling at your sudden reaction.

You hoped he wouldn't notice that rose blush which suddenly appeared on your cheeks. But you blamed it on the cold weather, not the fact that you got embarrassed. However, the butterflies in your stomach were saying the opposite.

Minji observed you the whole time, wearing a gummy smile. The hat which was falling over her eyes was making her look adorable. She was struggling to see anything, but Jeonghan was quick to notice it. He untangled himself from you, and fixed her hat with a small pat on her head and a baby-voiced coo.

Jeonghan as usually had to forget to take his own hat. The snowflakes that were gently falling down the sky rested on top of his dark hair strands. His cheeks were already tinted in light pink from the cold breeze, making him look even more breathtaking.

Quickly, you took out a hat with long bunny ears that you also decided to pack, and put it on Jeonghan’s head. Gosh, he looked so cute in it.

In the meantime, the stray cat ran away somewhere, and you decided to finally start your small stroll to the park that was located in your neighborhood.

Minji was quick to hold Jeonghan’s and your hands, ready to walk with you two by her sides. You had to walk much slower than usual because of her small steps, but you didn’t complain. The already setting sun looked alluring, with the pink and violet rays spreading on the sky.

Suddenly, the girl unhooked her hands, and ran straight towards the open area with lots of snow on it. She jumped into it, giggling, while taking the snow into her hands and throwing it above her. You followed right after her, playing together with the snow.

What you didn’t expect to happen next was a snowball hitting your arm. When you looked to the side, you quickly noticed the culprit, laughing soundly with a playful grin on his face.

“Come on, Minji,” you grasped her hand, “We have to win this battle.” a smirk spread over your lips as the little girl giggled in excitement.

And that’s how your snowball battle started. You couldn’t believe it but while playing, you suddenly felt as if you were 15 again, having a battle with your friends after you finished your classes. When Jeonghan and you were only friends, and when you never imagined that in the future you’ll fall for each other.

It’s obvious that at the end Jeonghan of course ended up winning against you two (you still question if he didn’t cheat while . But you didn’t really care about that. Him still being with you after all those years, smiling like a kid, having his best time with your beloved niece was more than enough to make you feel happy.

Hot chocolate tastes the best after playing in the snow. And you can’t disagree with that.

The three of you got back home 30 minutes after you finished the battle in the snow. Your clothes were all wet and Minji was already whining about how her legs hurt, so on the way back home Jeonghan gave her a piggy ride.

After changing into some fresh and most importantly dry clothes, Jeonghan was quick to suggest that you all should drink hot chocolate to warm up. Minji, having her uncle as the most amazing person after giving her a piggy ride home, begged you to make them hot chocolate.

And that’s how you ended up in this situation — Minji sitting on Jeonghan’s lap, snuggled into his chest. She was already done drinking her hot chocolate, watching a cartoon on the TV.

The boy kept stroking her hair gently, putting her into a deep sleep. Jeonghan’s warmth, together with the tiredness and soft sound of the programme they were watching, worked like a lullaby for Minji’s exhausted body.

You sat beside them, not being able to focus on anything else than the love of your life acting like your niece is his own child.

“Should we put her to her bed?” Jeonghan whispered after a while as he looked at you, his hand still on Minji’s head, hugging her closely.

“Yeah, I think so.” you replied softly, “She already fell asleep, so it’s even better.” you smiled, and the two of you got up from the couch as quietly as you could to not wake the little girl up.

When Jeonghan went to the guest room with Minji, you sent a short text to Joshua, saying that Minji is already sleeping and everything’s alright. You left your phone on the coffee table and went after Jeonghan to the guest’s room, stopping in the door frame. You leaned against it, observing how your boyfriend was gently tugging Minji to sleep.

When he finally noticed you standing behind him, he sent you a questioning look with a smile spreading over his lips. You chuckled softly, shaking your head as you headed to your bedroom. But on the way there, a pair of arms quickly sneaked over your waist.

You let out a squeak when the boy suddenly lifted you up, spinning you around. “Hannie, put me down!” you whispered firmly while laughing, as you didn’t want to wake Minji up.

“But I don’t want toooo~” he whined, keeping his face in the nape of your neck, but eventually the boy placed you back on the ground, turning you around to face him.

“You know..” you started, placing your arms around his neck, “I didn’t know that you’re that good at taking care of kids.”

“Oh please,” he laughed, “What am I not good at in the first place.”

“Hmm, I don’t think there is something like that.” you looked deeply into his eyes, which shone brightly in happiness and tenderness.

Jeonghan leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your nose before suddenly lifting you up in a bridal style, taking you to your bedroom (despite your protests).

He gently placed you on the bed as if you were the most fragile thing before showering your entire face and neck with butterfly kisses. Your giggles filled the room, enjoying your sweet time together.

It was already past midnight when Jeonghan came out of the bathroom. He had his hair still slightly damp after showering. You were laying in your bed, scrolling through social media. Joshua posted some photos from the gathering, and seeing your brother together with his wife, enjoying their time was making you feel really happy.

“What are you looking at?” Jeonghan asked suspiciously, observing how widely you smiled.

He dried his hair with a towel while standing at the end of the bed. But when you didn’t reply to him, the boy immediately pouted, annoyed that you’re paying more attention to something in your phone than him.

“Hello?” he said louder, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh yes, sorry. Joshie posted photos from the gathering, and they look so happy together.” you explained in awe, showing him the pictures in your phone. Jeonghan only hummed in response, not really interested, while putting the towel aside.

You could immediately notice a shift in his behavior, so you put your phone on the bedside table. Jeonghan got under the bedsheets next to you, quickly pulling your body closer to him.

You looked at him worriedly, “Hannie, what’s wrong?” you asked, but the boy just snuggled closer to you. Gosh, he’s so clingy.

“Nothing, let’s just cuddle.” he muttered tiredly, quickly earning a chuckle which in a split of a second caused the corner of his lips to raise.

While being tangled in his protective arms, you talked about the day, how much you enjoyed it and how much you’d want to experience something like this once again. Jeonghan (being already half asleep) listened to your subdued voice, humming in agreement.

What you didn’t expect was to suddenly hear a faint knock on your door. Quickly, you straightened up on the bed, unfortunately hitting Jeonghan at the same time. You whispered a soft sorry as the woken up boy looked at you, pouting while massaging his jawline.

You got out of the bed, and approached the door. On the other side you found a teary-eyed Minji, gripping her plushie tightly in her hand. The bare sight made your heart swell immediately.

“Minji, baby, what happened?” you asked her as you crouched in front of her, bringing her close to you, “Did you have a nightmare?” you added, while hugging her to your body.

You could only hear Minji’s sniffs, “Y-yes.” she whispered, snuggling into the crook of your neck.

Trying to calm her down, you picked her up and you got back to the bed. Jeonghan was already sitting, observing you silently with worry written all over his face.

You sat on the edge of the bed, Minji sat on your laps while hugging you tightly. Her sniffles were already gone, but you kept stroking her back and swaying her shaking body. Jeonghan took some tissues from the bedside table, and shuffled closer to you on the bed, gently wiping Minji’s tears away.

When the girl was finally calmed down, you looked at her shiny and slightly red eyes, and smiled.

“Do you want to sleep with us tonight?” you asked.

Oh. If only you knew how Jeonghan’s heart skipped a beat when he heard you spoke those words. Through out the day, he actually started to feel more as if Minji was his own daughter, and seeing you, so gentle and careful with the little girl only confirmed his thoughts about you being his only one.

Minji nodded, and you quickly took her off your knees, placing her in the middle of the bed. As your bed was king size, there was no problem for you three to sleep together.

Jeonghan helped Minji lay down, bringing her plushie closer to her. You also got back under the sheets, laying down next to your niece.

As previously, your boyfriend started to stroke her head, and also between her eyes as he once read somewhere that gently stroking that place makes babies fall asleep faster. The whole time you were looking at Jeonghan, as he was focused on putting Minji to sleep.

Surprisingly, that advice which Jeonghan used turned out to be true, because soon later Minji was back in her sweet slumber, and you two could finally go to sleep.

You were still looking at him, and when your eyes met, you felt those butterflies in your stomach waking up again. You found Jeonghan handsome and very attractive almost every time. When he had his hair done perfectly, with his black shirt on and that stupid smirk. When he was helping you cook something, politely obeying your orders. And when he was completely focused during building his lego sets.

But this sight. Oh dear lord, please have some mercy.

Him in front of you, in the most natural circumstances ever, with his dark hair soft but slightly messy, his shirt falling down a bit too low while exposing one of his collarbones, laying in the same bed with you and being the same (or even more) exhausted than you. It felt different.

He was the most beautiful, the most attractive and the most handsome person you’ve ever laid your eyes on.

“Angel, I know I’m handsome, but you don’t have to stare at me like that.” he commented with a smirk spreading on his lips.

You quickly got back out from that daze, “Oh shut up.” you whispered, while turning around in the bed, making him face your back.

“Good night, love.”

“Good night, Hannie.”

Just when you thought that nothing could look better than Jeonghan last night, you got your thinking changed once again.

Waking up in the morning with the sun’s light rays resting on the floor and walls of your bedroom, while laying next to your beloved boyfriend, and your niece cuddled up closely to him, officially became your new favorite sight ever.

They looked so fragile, so delicate and so adorable, while sleeping peacefully, that you couldn’t help but take some photos of them.

As soon as you got out of bed (and finished your mini photo session), you went through the new notifications. It was only 8 am, but you still got some throughout the night.

At around 7:30 am, Joshua sent you a text that they will eat breakfast now, and then try to leave around 9:00 am. So you still had 4 hours until they arrived.

After dressing yourself up as quietly as you could, you walked out of the room, closing the door behind you. You decided not to wake them up, but surprise them with breakfast.

You spent some time debating over what you should make, and if it should be savory or sweet, but you eventually chose to make sweet breakfast. Quickly, you began to make the batter for the waffles, also preparing coffee for Jeonghan and you while Seoli accompanied you. You of course didn’t forget to also give her food.

After some time, you were already making the waffles when a pair of arms suddenly sneaked around your waist, with the feeling of someone’s chin on your shoulder.

“You left the bed too early today,” Jeonghan’s still a little bit hoarse voice sounded right by your ear, as you were busy putting the done waffles on the plates, “You know I like to wake up and see your face as the first thing in the morning.”

“I know, I know, Hannie,” you laughed, pouring the batter into the waffle mold, “But I wanted to make a surprise for you two. Speaking of, where is Minji?” you asked, turning around to face Jeonghan.

Oh shit. He looked breath-taking.

“I helped with her morning toilet, and then we went to the living room. She is busy with her coloring books, but still kind of sleepy.” Jeonghan explained, and you nodded at his words.

The boy grabbed his cup of coffee, and took a sip before leaving a soft kiss on your cheek while saying thank you. You smiled back at him, finishing the waffles.

Soon, you took all of the waffles that you prepared, and placed them on the table. In the meanwhile, Jeonghan took out all of the toppings for the waffles, and went back to get Minji.

When you finally sat down, your boyfriend came into the kitchen with Minji holding his hand, and slowly walking towards you right by his side. As soon as she noticed the waffles on the table, she sprinted towards the chair and quickly got on top of it, already taking one of the waffles. Jeonghan joined right after her, and the three of you began to eat your breakfast.

The rest of the morning went really fast. Jeonghan dressed in something else than his pyjamas while you helped Minji to pick her outfit. Then you finally did your makeup, and the three of you just spent more time together.

You didn’t understand how it’s possible, that even with your tendency to have a low social battery, you didn’t feel tired or bored by your boyfriend and niece. It felt so natural now to have them around, that you just got used to it.

While Minji was playing with your dog, and Jeonghan was teaching her how to make Seoli do the tricks, you were busy thinking about how you actually can see your future like this.

Now, after yesterday, you were sure that you could picture your future with Jeonghan, and even see yourself as a mother. You were sure that the boy would be the best father, spoiling his kid while also pulling his stupid pranks on you with them.

But you were sure that with him it was possible.

A few hours later, a doorbell’s sound rang in your flat. Seoli immediately ran to bark at the person behind the door, but you were sure it was Shua with Miyoon. And you weren’t wrong. As soon as you opened the door you could see the young parents standing in front of you, greeting you happily as you kept Seoli from jumping on them.

Seconds later, Jeonghan came from behind the corner with Minji in his arms. She had her head pressed to his cheek, observing patiently who came over. And just when she saw her mommy and daddy, she grinned happily and wiggled in Jeonghan’s arms. The boy put her down, and she ran straightfully to her parents. They hugged their daughter closely, and Jeonghan joined your side, placing his arm over your waist.

“We hope she didn’t cause you any problems.” Miyoon uttered, patting the little girl’s head.

“No, not at all!” you quickly protested, “Minji is such an angel, we spent an amazing time together.” you leaned your head on Jeonghan’s shoulder.

“She’s the cutest. I’m so jealous of your daughter.” Jeonghan commented, earning a laugh from everyone.

You handed Joshua all Minji’s things that they brought, and it was finally time to say goodbye.

“Nooo! I don’t wanna say goodbye!” Minji whined, while cuddling to your leg.

“Ji, baby, you’ve been with your aunt and uncle for a whole day. Now we have to go back to our house.” Joshua explained, “We have to let auntie and uncle get some rest.”

“But I love them so much..”

You couldn’t control the coo that left your lips as soon as the girl said how much she loved you and Jeonghan. Your boyfriend only smiled briefly, observing everything.

“You’ll see them soon again.” Miyoon took Minji’s hand, bringing her closer to her to put the hat on her head.

“Promise?”

“Promise.” you replied, while intertwining your pinky finger with hers, “You’ll probably see us earlier than you might think.”

“I can’t wait already!” she shouted enthusiastically, and for the last time Minji hugged you and Jeonghan tightly, and patted Seoli. Then, the young parents left your flat, leaving you two alone, again.

Suddenly, Jeonghan let out a groan which startled you by the sudden action.

He headed towards the living room, “I want to have a kid.” he whined, and you chuckled under your breath, following Jeonghan’s steps.

“You know, we still can have one in the future.” you answered, and the boy immediately turned around, looking at you with his eyes widened and his mouth parted a little bit. “Only if you want one.”

Jeonghan was quick to run up to you, and spin you around, while holding you tightly. Your giggles filled the room once again, being the prettiest melody to your boyfriend’s ears.

“Of course I do, my love.”

He was sure. Jeonghan was sure that he couldn’t wait no more, and that maybe it was the right time to take out that velvet box which he hid deeply in the drawer by the bed, and finally put it into use.

Because he knew one thing. That if he wanted to spend his entire life together with someone, then it had to be with you.

reuploads and likes are highly appriciated ♡

#this is so soft :(#i love jeonghan <3 #sorry for being so inactive </3 #seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #svt fluff #jeonghan #jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan #fluff #yoon jeonghan imagines

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tenjikufag · 11 months ago

Note

Hiii I can ask a Shinichiro Sano has a crush on male!reader who is classmate, reader is taller than him, sensitive and romantic please ? fluff thank you 😊

Cheesy.

Shinichiro Sano x Male Reader

-fluff, mutual pining, confession, tall!reader, kind of long

-thank you for the request, I miss this man sooo much. Also the series I mention in this is purely my own imagination It Does Not Exist. Pulled out my ass.

There you stood, looming over a classmates desk that wasn’t his. Your tall stature noticed by everyone, almost hunched in half to meet just close enough to his peer to hear them.

You smiled, you laughed, at whatever they had been saying before you received the exchanged class notes.

Shinichiro couldn’t help but blush, just a little, when you made eye contact with him and you flashed a bright smile his way.. his heart leaped, the crush he had on you almost unbearable these recent days.

You felt the same, the past few days had been more than frustrating trying to think about a way you could tell him. The two of you had become friends this recent year, despite attending the same schools for almost your whole life it just seemed the timing was never right for you two to gravitate towards each other.

But, this was the time it seemed. As mature as you could be as a high schooler, you still held a child-like crush on him. No outside factors were to deter you from getting closer to him each day, and he thought all the same.

You approached his desk, quick to ask him to hang out with you at lunch. The teacher walked in, squinting at your stature to signal you to sit down. Shinichiro nodded, shooing you towards your desk that was but a few classmates behind him. With a quick ‘see ya’ you left his desk.

Your thoughts had been plagued by the black haired boy, sighing out to yourself while listening to the subject at hand albeit not even absorbing half of the information.

As said, it’s been bad the last few days, that’s why you needed to nab some notes from a friend.. you wanted to ask Shinichiro but you couldn’t, for the life of you, read his chicken scratch hand writing. Laughing lightly to yourself, you tried to jot down the ending pieces of the lesson before the bell buzzed- making all your classmates jolt up and almost run out of the classroom for lunch period.

You were rather slow to stand and gather your things, taking a moment to stretch while the class traffic jammed themselves at the door trying to escape before the other.

Letting out a satisfied sigh, you approached Shinichiro and put a hand on his shoulder, giving a solid squeeze before walking infront of him- looking over your shoulder to make sure he followed you. A soft smile played on your lips, his bright eyes staring up at you and following close behind.

The hallways bustled with bodies, some rushing, others waltzing without a care and others stopped in groups to talk amongst each-other. You kept giving quick glances over your shoulder to make sure the shorter male kept in tow with you, eyes widening a fraction when you’d lost track of him.

Pouting, you kept walking towards your typical meeting spot- expecting him to make his way there. A hand reached out and clasped your wrist, looking behind you once again, it was Shin, looking slightly flustered.

Pulling him to your side, you placed a hand on his outer hip and pressed him into your side and ushered him outside- many making way for your tall stature and companion.

Your hand on his hip, his body so close to yours, his own hand placed ontop of your hand.. it felt right. It was natural. This feeling was what you wanted forever- only for it to be cut short when he quickly pulled away from you once out into the locker room- quick to change his shoes and shove his bag away.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to hold ya like that Shin.”

He froze for but a second, contemplating his response for a moment.

“Don’t mind, it made us get out faster!”

“So ya wouldn’t mind me holdin’ ya like that to get food sooner, would ya?”

Shinichiro flared up in a red blush, how were you so nonchalant about it?! His hands slapped over his cheeks, eyes looking over at you in surprise. You seemed to be just as flustered from what left your lips..

“I uh..”

“Ack! Sorry Shin.. been watching too many romance dramas.. didn’t think about it..”

Scratching your neck in embarrassment, you changed out of your school shoes into street shoes and followed him wordlessly.

“Watching romance huh? Didn’t think you’d be into that kinda thing.”

“Really? Guess we never talked about shows..”

Tapping your cheek, you gazed up as if to think about what you’d talk about.

“Yeah guess not. I’m not too much into them either, but what do ya like about them big guy?”

He smiled at the way your eyes lit up, a grin spreading across your face as you spoke about your most recent binge session.

“Gives me so many ideas about asking someone out..”

You sighed, his heart clenched just a tad.. did you even have anyone to ask out?

“I can imagine.. researching for the real thing? Who’s the lucky girl?”

Looking down at him, he had stopped his steps beside you. You blinked, it was him but you wouldn’t tell him just yet.. a devious plan came to mind.

“Lucky guy, actually.. I gotta ask you a question about that.”

He tilted his head, not all too shocked you liked dudes but curious about your question..

He wished you would ask him out..

“Meet at my place tonight, i need your help brainstormin’ an idea for him..”

Nodding, the two of you entered a convenience store and made your way back to school- the two of you didn’t share the same classes for the second half of the day.

—

The two of you sat in your room, you passing romance mangas to your friend and having a long favourite serious playing on your tv.

“Let me know which one stands out to you, or one you like.”

Oh so subtle, you thought. You knew Shinichiro would be none the wiser, so he started browsing your books and comics, your watchlists and reading the descriptions.

You also turned through your well loved pages, imagining yourself as the mc and Shin as the love interest.. sighing out, you reread your favourite passages over and over before the boy beside you put the book down and showed you.

“This one, I like this one. If I were to ask someone out I’d use this.”

Glancing down, he held up the most worn manga you had. “Days of our love.”, it was a BL surprisingly. The couple were both helplessly pining but never suspected the other to know. So in came the gifts, day by day, a new small gift would appear on their desks or in their locker cubbies, notes with subtle hints and implications.

Your eyes gleamed, picking the book up and rereading it again- the main scenes that is.

“Really? You’d be into this?”

“Yep, I’m sure the guy you’re into would also appreciate it.”

Nodding, you thanked him for the idea. Even if his own heart hurt thinking of you going through all this trouble for someone that isn’t him, he was more than happy to aid you finding your person.

“I gotta get goin’, Mikey is probably throwing a fit at gramps by now.”

His slim wrist came into view, his eyes checking the watch that laid wrapped around it.

“Alright! Get home safe, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He nodded, letting you walk him to the front door as he thanked your parents for letting him come over.

The pang in his chest didn’t let up, even while he rode his bike home it seemed to only worsen with every pedal.

Why couldn’t it be him?

—

Day One.

You’d waited atleast a week before putting your plan in motion- you’d even gotten your other friends involved to drop off the gifts and notes for you. Also going as far to make sure he’d forgotten the talk you’d had, Shin wasn’t one to have the greatest memory especially when he didn’t have to be involved. He had little to no recollection of even the manga he’d picked from that day.

Smiling, you neatly folded a note and slid it into the small gift. It was a motorcycle model, one to fit in your hand and be easily displayed. He loved motorbikes, always spoke about having one and even having his own shop one day.

—

Shinichiro reached into his desk, fumbling around searching for his pencil case but grazing an unfamiliar object. He ducked down and spotted a neatly wrapped cube.. scrunching his nose he pulled it out and hastily unwrapped it- eyes widening at the sight of a motorbike figure, exactly like the model he dreamed of! He looked around, trying to spot anyone watching him open it only to sulk down when no one was watching him.

Day Two

Breaming with excitement, you passed off the second gift to your friend which she happily received and skipped off towards Shins cubby.

A meticulously crafted origami flower laid on a note with a couple of Shins favourite hard candies.

—

Before he even got to put his things in his cubby, something dropped out and he fumbled to try and catch it.

Without crushing it, he saw the beautiful craft.. eyes glittering at the perfect folds- all pristine and sharp, not a single mistake in a fold or even a crinkle from adjustments, paired with his favourite treat. He smiled, delicately packing the gift home with him.

Day Three

Shinichiro was happy, a slight pep in his step while he walked through the halls and was gripped by you- leading him through the halls quickly.

When he reached for his shoes, a small stuffy with another favourite snack of his stuck out. You were giddy but held it down to ask what was up. He smiled brightly, showing you what he had found.

“I’ve been gettin’ gifts these past few days.. dunno from who but they seem to know what I like!”

It made your heart swell, walking out with him in tow telling you about the other two gifts.

Day Four

He was buzzing with anticipation for the next gift that would surely come, they weren’t big extravagant gifts by any means but he adored each and every one of them. But, he wanted even more to figure out who it was! Even coming to school earlier to see someone drop it off but it would already be placed! Whoever it was wanted to be secretive but by the end of the week he’d find out who!

A small piece of paper with a lovely poem was in his hand today, along with a small bunch of flowers.. they smelled so nice and the poem made him feel like he was in a cheesy romcom.

Day Five

The end of the school week, what would he get today? He would have two days apart from whoever it was, surely he could put an end to the mystery.

And yet, he stood by his desk where a Tomogatchi laid. Hours to feed it and times it slept were already mentioned and worked with his schedule along with another sickeningly sweet note. He loved this one, he’d given his own to Mikey ages ago and it was long dead so this was very sweet in his mind.

Day Six

You’d managed to hang out with Shinichiro over the weekend, but early in the morning before Shin even woke up- you knew his gramps and Mikey would be awake and snuck your way into chatting with them and bribing the younger brother to place a gift on his older brothers desk. The boy wanted to run to his brother immediately and tell on you but you’d come prepared with Taiyaki and other sweets for him, making his eyes go wide with pleasure and he delivered the gift with no further fuss.

You left and said you’d be back a bit after lunch- waving at the two, Mikeys cheek full of sugary treats as his little hand waved at you.

Shinichiro woke up a couple hours later, groggily reaching over the check his alarm clock for the time. He got up and quickly washed up before noticing a gift on his desk.

They managed to sneak in his house?!

“Mikey!”

Mikey wandered into his brothers room, lollipop in hand as he looked at him.

“What?”

“Did you see who dropped this off?”

By the way his younger brothers face twisted in a grin, he knew he’d seen who it was.

“Who was it Mikey?!”

“Sworn to secrecy, we have been silenced!”

“We?”

“Gramps is in on it!”

Shinichiro raked his hand down his face- there’s no way this person had such a broad reach!

Day Seven

He felt a little on edge, there was no gift when he woke up but he was going to hang out with you so his mind was occupied. The two of you were meeting at the park, just to hang out and maybe get food.

Shinichiro sat on a swing set, rocking back and forth while he waited.

Your figure came into view and he was quick to hop off and run up to greet you.

He stopped dead in his tracks though.

A gift sat in your hand, through your non-chalant look he assumed it wasn’t from you.. his heart sank. They got to you!

“Who’s that from?!”

He snatched it, inspecting the gift that was wrapped this time. You stood there a little shocked by the reaction.

“Do.. do you not like the gifts?”

His head snapped to you, before going back to inspect it.

“No, I love them! That’s the whole problem!”

Laughing lightly, your heart soothed itself in your chest at the fact he enjoyed them.

“You know the person, right?! You gotta tell me!”

“Uh yeah, obviously.”

“Spill it Y/n!”

“Open it, he said this one’ll be the last one if you uh.. just open it.”

You almost gave away the plan, this was the final one if he didn’t accept it- but if he did you’d be sure to gift him all the time. His eyes went wide, tearing the delicate wrapping paper, exposing a small black box. Shinichiro felt his hands shake a little, opening it and exposing a sleek silver chain- obviously not expensive but it was nice! Under it laid the note

“Will you go out with me?”

He read aloud, looking up at you.. you were flushed red but trying very hard to hide it.

It all made sense. It took him a second to recollect himself, the faint memory of the talk you’d had and.. everything else leading up to this.

“It’s you.. isn’t it?”

Shyly, you nodded. The fear of rejection making light tears prick at your eyes. Shinichiro felt like he was going to pass out.. you gave him all this and he didn’t even think about it being you?! He would’ve rejected this if it was anyone else, hell he would’ve given it all back if it wasn’t you and he happened to find out!

“So uh, whaddya say? Go out with me?”

Sucking in a breathe, he looked up at you, passing the gift back. Your heart sank, thinking this was a rejection.

“Can you put it on me?”

He turned around, waiting patiently for you to place the chain around his neck. You fumbled around with the box and chain, lightly touching his soft skin as you clasped the chain around his neck. When he turned around, a hand running across the silver links- he looked up at you.

Taking a step forward, he pushed himself to his tip-toes and placed a kiss on your lips.

“Of course I’ll go out with you..”

The tears you’d held back brimmed over and slid down your cheeks.

“Eh?! Why are you crying?!”

His quick hands went to wipe away the tears, confused about the tears because this was happy right?!

“It’s just! You picked from my favourite manga and it’s just! I can’t believe you like me back!”

He laughed lightly, hugging around your waist while you cleared up the random tears that rolled out from your eyes.

“Sensitive huh? Guess I’m dealing with a real romantic hm?”

You nodded, blushing when he kissed your jaw. Shinichiro was excited to see how else you’d try to woo him- not that he could be anymore infatuated with you at the moment. But he was happy, and looked forward to the future with you.

#tokyo revengers x male reader #Tokyo revengers x reader #tokrev x male reader #tokrev x reader #tr x male reader #tr x reader #shinichiro sano x male reader #shinichiro sano x reader #shinichiro x male reader #shinichiro x reader

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shortbcofkoffee · 3 months ago

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CW: Bruce's POV so some weird ass thoughts about Tim, child neglect, child abuse, victim blaming

Bruce had been difficult. He was angry and sad, he hated the world and everything in it. It was all too big, and he was too small to do anything about it. He could if he had money. He heard people say anything was possible with money, but Alfred had said he wasn’t allowed any of his parent’s until he turned 18. That was forever away, and he was stuck. So he did what he could. He screamed and shouted at teachers, yelled at his classmates, and punched them until they cried. The only person who tried to stay his friend was Harvey. Bruce hated him for that. He wanted to be alone. Until he was better, until he was able to protect the people he loved, Bruce wanted to be alone.

Alfred never left him alone. Alfred was always there to wake him up in the morning and put him to sleep at night. He fed Bruce and made sure he bathed. He was just the same as he was before Bruce’s parents died. No matter how much Bruce yelled and no matter how many doors he slammed or vases he smashed, Alfred was always there. And Bruce would always find him to apologize a few hours after acting out. Alfred always forgave him.

Alfred rarely talked to him unless Bruce said something first. Even then, they were short answers and impersonal questions. Bruce didn’t care. He’d find Alfred in the library or the sunroom and tell him about his day.

For years, it was just Bruce and Alfred. Two people alone in a huge house. He didn’t need to worry about protecting Alfred; Alfred was more than capable of protecting the both of them. He offered to teach Bruce how to use a sword so he could protect himself too. Alfred was safe. He promised to protect Bruce, to never let anyone hurt him like that again. Bruce was happy. He didn’t need anyone else, he just needed Alfred.

Puberty hit Bruce like a brick, turned him into one too. He was huge and angry, and he lashed out in more dangerous ways. He’d get into fights that he’d always win. He'd come home with blood on his clothes, a mix of his and others. He started to do things just to bother Alfred. He didn’t know why, he loved Alfred, but his face made him angry. Alfred was neutral. Alfred didn’t say anything. He never said anything. Bruce wanted to see him show something, just show Bruce that he cared. Show Bruce that this was more than a job. But there was nothing. So Bruce continued, he would until he got results.

One day, Alfred found him. Opened the door to his bedroom one evening and handed him a letter.

“What’s that?” Bruce didn’t look up from his homework. No matter how much he acted out, he still wanted good grades. He was going to be a doctor like his father.

“A letter of resignation,” Alfred said, voice just as flat as ever. “My two weeks notice.”

Bruce’s whole body locked. Suddenly, all of the words on the worksheet below him started to swim together. Eyes wide, he stared up at Alfred. “Yours?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

Alfred nodded. “Yes, Master Bruce. In two weeks' time I will be leaving for England. I’m afraid you’ve become much more work than originally thought.”

Bruce opened his mouth but no sound came out. He looked down at the letter in its off-white envelope with its red wax seal. Tears itched behind his eyes. “You’re gonna leave me?” His voice sounded weak, broken.

Alfred said nothing. Bruce shot up from his seat. He was almost the same height as Alfred now, and all of a sudden that was awful. He was too big and his world was too small. Alfred’s face was neutral, but there was a slight knit in his brow. Bruce couldn’t tell if that was worry, annoyance, or what, but he wanted it gone. He didn’t doubt Alfred for a second. He knew Alfred could disappear with the wind and Bruce wouldn’t notice until it’s too late. Alfred could be gone tomorrow. Bruce would be alone. Bruce couldn’t be alone. He reached forward, grasping at the sleeve of Alfred’s coat.

“Please don’t go. I need you.” Alfred remained silent. Bruce’s legs suddenly felt weak. He sank to the ground and used his other hand to grip Alfred’s pant leg. “Please don’t leave me, I’m never gonna stop needing you. I love you, Dad, you’re all I have, please don’t go.” He barely noticed the title leave his mouth, it felt natural. It felt right. “I love you, I’m sorry I’m making your job hard. I’ll stop. I’ll do whatever you want, just please don’t leave me too. Please, I’m sorry.” He was rambling now, his words felt meaningless as they sounded. Each apology came out rougher than the last.

Bruce felt a familiar gloved hand land atop his head. Alfred’s fingers threaded softly through his hair. When he looked up, Alfred’s face was smiling and soft. Bruce soaked it up for the moment it was there, but it hardened again when their eyes met, but Alfred’s hand kept moving.

“Stand up. I accept your apology, and I’ll rethink my resignation. Just promise me you’ll try to behave.”

All of the tension left Bruce’s body. “I promise,” he smiled.

Alfred never quit, but every so often, Bruce would find an off-white envelope with a red wax seal lying around like a reminder. A reminder that this was one-sided and that Alfred could leave him at the drop of a hat. A reminder that he was a job and that even if Alfred saw him as a son, he had no problem stopping. It always sent Bruce spiraling. Had he done something wrong? Was Alfred mad at him, did he want to quit, or did he just leave it out by accident? Why did Alfred even hold onto it? He clearly planned on quitting eventually. But he didn’t. Because he loved Bruce. He loved Bruce just as much as Bruce loved him. Getting an actual “I love you” from Alfred was harder than pulling teeth, but it was fine. He showed his love in other ways. He made Bruce his favorite meals when he felt sad. He made sure Bruce was on top of his homework. He told Bruce how similar he was to his parents. Not matter how little he said it, Alfred was still his person, still his dad. Bruce was happy with just them.

Years later, it was just him and Tim alone in the cave. About a month into their… unspoken agreement. Tim was scolding him for something that Bruce was barely listening to. He was turning over the details from their patrol in his head, preparing to write them down. He’d been almost stabbed because he, in an admitted moment of stupidity, decided to attack someone head-on rather than take them down from a distance like he was more than capable of doing.

“And honestly, if you’re dead set on killing yourself, maybe I should just leave before you drag me down too,” Tim huffed.

That snapped Bruce out of his head. Instinctually, he grabbed Tim’s arm. Tim made a small sound. The kevlar gloves were heavy and Tim was lighter than any 13-year-old ever should be. Bruce didn’t even get a chance to think before the words tumbled out of his mouth.

“Please don’t leave me, dad,” it came out panicked. Bruce’s eyes widened under the cowl as soon as he said it. He let go of Tim’s arm.

Tim looked down at his arm and up at Bruce. He always took off his domino mask as soon as they got into the cave, he said the adhesive made his skin itch. Bruce could see the panic set into the kid’s eyes before it was quickly masked by something else Bruce couldn’t identify. He smiled a smile Bruce only ever saw on people at galas. Fake, pristine, and meant to gain trust. This one looked exactly like Tim’s mother's.

Tim placed a comforting hand on Bruce’s arm. “It’s okay, bud, I was just joking. I won’t leave you, I promise.”

As much as Bruce hated himself, that calmed him down. Alfred hadn’t done that since Bruce was a child. Alfred didn’t offer him soft touches and comforting words. He almost melted at the contact. A deep part of him needed this, a constant source of comfort that wouldn’t leave. That needed him just as much. Bruce knew it was odd to think this way, but Tim’s parents weren’t in the country at the moment. They wouldn’t be back for two months. Tim needed an adult, and Bruce could be that adult. He would be as long as Tim let Bruce need him too. And Tim had taken to this like water. He didn't seem to mind at all, he bent to Bruce’s needs and requests like a droopy-eyed puppy.

Bruce only grunted a half response.

Despite his seemingly slow aging, Tim was one of the most mature people Bruce knew. It was easy to forget he was a child sometimes, and if he just looked into Tim’s tired eyes, it was easy to pretend he’d always been older. He justified it to himself by saying Tim would never have a normal childhood anyway. Stalking Batman and Robin was dangerous for anyone to do, let alone a young child. He most likely would’ve died if things hadn’t played out this way. Besides, helping Bruce was hardly a prick in the massive wound that was protecting Gotham.

Bruce stopped feeling bad at some point, he didn’t know when. It’d become just another part of life. And Tim was so casual in a way Alfred had never been. Tim was easy. Bruce could complain, vent, tell him about his day, and Tim talked back. They could hold a conversation, and Bruce never knew how much he needed that. So he stopped thinking about the implications.

He loved Tim. That was an irrefutable fact. Bruce loved his whole family. But Tim was different, always had been. So he loved Tim differently. He loved to care for people and Bruce was no exception to that. Even before the “dad” thing, Tim had cared for Bruce. Because he wanted to. Had Tim spoken up at any point, Bruce would’ve left him alone. And Tim was outspoken. If he didn’t like something, he would’ve told Bruce by now. This was something Tim wanted to do just as much as Bruce needed him to. So Bruce didn’t need to worry about him.

Bruce knew he was paranoid. It’s what kept him safe, it’s what kept his family safe. And right now, for the most part, they were safe. Unfortunately, something was coming; he could feel it. And it wasn’t related to whatever Scarecrow was doing. Something was wrong and brewing within his family. They were on the verge of falling apart, and it was his fault. Bruce knew it was his fault because it had started with Jason. Usually, when something went wrong with Jason, it was Bruce’s doing, whether directly or indirectly.

Jason had found out the true nature of Bruce and Tim’s relationship. He stopped talking to Bruce. That was something he did when he got angry, so it wasn’t surprising; they’d gone without speaking for longer than this. The difference was that Jason was still hanging around the manor. He’d been watching both Bruce and Tim like a hawk, making sure they weren’t alone together whenever he was around. It was stressful and more than a little frustrating.

That was also part of the problem. Bruce’s knee-jerk reaction to feeling this way was to wait for Tim to come comfort him. It’d been that way for years now.

Tim only looked like his father superficially. He was much shorter, had a much rounder face, and had a thin body. But they had the same mop of black hair that was never in order unless they had to go to work or galas. Tim’s eyes were the exact same shade of ice blue as the ones in the family painting that hung in one of the parlors. The shape was different, but even when Bruce was a child, he thought that painting looked off. And they both looked at Bruce as if he was the most delicate thing in the world, prone to break at a gust of wind.

Bruce relished in that look. He knew he shouldn’t. It was an awful, disgusting thing for him to do. Jason had every reason to hate him. Tim had every reason to hate him. Damian knew now too. Tim had explained that he didn’t know much, and Damian hadn’t seemed to be mad at him, then again, he was as hard to read as his mother. Bruce didn’t think he’d be able to take it if another one of his kids hated him.

Sometimes, he wondered if Tim hated him. He didn’t think so. Even if he did, Tim was the most loyal person he’d ever met. Tim leaving him felt like barely a possibility nowadays; he’d been taking all of this for granted. If Tim did really hate him, it was only a matter of time until he snapped. Bruce knew all too well how growing resentment can destroy people. If Tim truly hated him, then one day he’d leave too. He didn’t doubt Tim knew how to disappear. There wouldn’t be an envelope, Bruce would just wake up one morning, and he’d be gone. That might be scarier than others finding out.

It was a lose-lose situation. Tim would leave, and Bruce would have to learn to be someone by himself, but his kids wouldn’t hate him. Tim could stay, keep Bruce together, but his kids would probably never talk to him again.

Bruce felt pathetic. He’d had the best of both worlds for too long, he had to cut one or the other off now. He couldn’t, he wouldn’t know how. He wanted both, he’d fall apart without one or the other. He couldn’t choose now.

…

He needed Tim.

“I’m- I’m gonna hang up now, okay, Dami?” Dick was breathless.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Damian demanded. His voice was weak, like he was moments from crying.

“I won’t, Dami, don’t worry. You did really good telling me this. Thank you. I love you.”

“I… love you too.”

Dick hung up.

Dick was worried, confused, but most of all angry. After hanging up, he just stared at the wall. One sentence.

Bruce had groomed Tim.

Bruce, Bastian of Justice, and his father, Tim’s father, had groomed Tim.

Bruce had groomed Tim, his son, Dick’s little brother, one of the most empathetic people Dick had ever met.

According to what Damian had said, it was a fucked up form of abuse too. Well all forms of abuse were fucked up, but this was so weird. He was forcing Tim to roleplay as his dad. The scenario Damian had described made Dick’s stomach turn over. Dick created a timeline in his head: Jason passed when Tim was 12, he begged Dick to become Robin again at 13, Dick refused but went to check on Bruce anyway because Tim described him as so broken. When he did finally see Bruce they argued, got captured, Tim saved them, and Dick went home. He’d hated everyone in that situation: Bruce for failing to save Jason, Tim for putting on his suit, and Alfred for giving it to him.

But even through his anger, Dick could tell how broken Bruce seemed. He fought sloppily and stumbled over his choices, he almost beat a goon to death. And Dick had left Tim with him. A hyperviolent, angry, depressed Bruce. Through his own anger, he’d left Tim alone in that house with an unstable, violent man. … or alone wasn’t right, was it?

Alfred was there. Apart from his annual vacation, Alfred was always there. Had he known? Alfred knew everything. Part of Dick wanted to say he didn’t, if it’d taken someone five years to notice it was completely possible that Alfred hadn’t either. But that wasn’t realistic. Nothing happened under that roof without Alfred’s knowledge. And he hadn’t done anything. He knew Bruce was forcing Tim to do- to do Alfred’s job! Was that why? Because it was Alfred’s job to parent Bruce and it was easier to let Tim do it? It was easier to mold Tim into a tool for Bruce’s comfort than have Alfred do his job. Tim didn’t deserve that, no one did. He was a kid and his empathy stretched to the wrong person at the wrong time.

And Bruce had let him.

At the end of the day, it wasn’t fully Alfred’s fault. He hadn’t done anything, but Bruce was an adult who made an adult decision. He hurt Tim. He lied to everyone. He was the perpetrator. The biggest hypocrite of them all.

“Oh God,” he mumbled to himself, putting a hand over his mouth.

The last time he visited Tim had brought Bruce his dinner. It seemed inconsequential at the time, Tim said he was helping Alfred out. It was something Tim would do, he was a good person. Dick thought Tim was taking a while for someone just delivering a dinner, but he ignored it. Tim said they had talked about a case, Dick trusted him. But Bruce had been moping before that, but he seemed happier when he came down for dessert. Too much happier. And Tim looked drained.

“God,” he mumbled again.

Logically, Dick knew this wasn’t his fault. For all the shit he gave Bruce, he was good to all- most of his kids. Dick trusted him enough to leave kids in his care, they always sent child victims to Bruce. Bruce, the man with lollipops in his belt. Bruce, the one who got all of them out of awful situations and into stable homes. Bruce, the one to give Dick a home and talk him out of murdering the man that took his parents from him. Dick trusted Bruce with his life most of the time. He was supposed to. Bruce was supposed to be a trustworthy person.

But he wasn’t. And Dick had left Tim at his mercy. He couldn’t even bring himself to step foot in Gotham for the first few months after Tim became Robin. Tim’s endless mercy was taken advantage of while Dick was wallowing in his own anger and sadness. Dick hated himself. He should’ve been there. Should’ve noticed sooner. He shouldn’t have had to hear about this from Damian. Damian was too young, barely older than Tim when he became Robin. Was Damian even safe? Dick really didn’t know. Bruce was far from a perfect dad but he was a pretty damn good one to everyone but Tim. But Dick couldn’t leave any more children in Bruce’s care, especially someone like Damian. Damian was still weak to manipulation, a “gift” from his time in the LoA. He was especially weak to people he trusted. He might not be in danger but until Dick understood Bruce’s intentions toward him, Damian wasn’t safe. If Dick was going to take Tim from Bruce, he might have to take Damian too. He couldn’t let Bruce do anything like that to him.

How had Bruce groomed Tim anyway? Did Dick even want to know? He didn’t. All the stereotypical situations came to mind. Jesus Christ, he needed to clear his head. Dick stood and left his bedroom, only to be reminded of why he was there in the first place.

“Dick?” Kory frowned at him from the couch. Some of his other friends were there too, with the same expression. They’d been watching a movie. Just a few minutes ago, he’d been happy, everything was normal, and he’d been watching a movie with his friends. “What’s wrong?”

Dick wanted to say everything. He wanted to say nothing. He wanted to curl into Kory’s side and never speak again.

Instead, he found himself flopping back down between Kory and Vic. “Nothing, just some family stuff.”

Garf nodded hesitantly. “Cool, cool, really cool. Like Bat-family stuff or family- family stuff? Cause you look totally shell shocked.”

Kory pulled him down and wrapped an arm around his head, burying her fingers in his hair. “Garfield,” Raven frowned.

“Just asking.”

“You are okay though, right man?” Vic asked.

“I’m all good.” Dick wrapped his arms around Kory’s waist.

It’s a silent comfort and he melts into her touch. He rests his head on her chest and lets her play with his hair as the movie starts to play again. Okay, so clearly, he had to get Tim out of the manor and away from Bruce. It was only a matter of how.

Dick pulled out his phone again and looked up photography events in Bludhaven. Tim still liked photography, didn’t he? He probably did, Dick had seen him carry a camera to the zoo the last time they went with Damian. It didn’t take long to find an event. Something fall-themed taking place right after Halloween. That was probably for the best, with Tim’s work ethic Dick would never be able to pull him away before that. Things usually calmed down between Halloween and Thanksgiving, so as long as they made it through that day, it’d be fine.

There was a guest speaker too, some famous lady Dick had never heard of. Tim would probably like this. Dick had seen his collection of nature shots, Tim had, much to everyone’s worry, even tried to get Poison Ivy to help him get some when he was younger. It didn’t work, but it was a show of dedication. Dick booked two tickets.

Tim had a pretty solid night’s sleep for once in his life. It’d been a calm couple of days, all things considered. Yeah, his knees were still a little sore from crawling around in vents last night, but he’d been through worse. He stretched and dragged himself out of bed and to the kitchen. Alfred was there making breakfast. They were silent, calmly existing in the same space as Tim made himself coffee.

Jason hadn’t even tried to interact with Tim for the past few days. Part of Tim was patting himself on the back for breaking the guy’s nose, it made Jason back off. Jason did say he’d have eyes on Tim all the time, though. That was a little nerve-wracking, but Tim would’ve noticed if someone was following him by now. Unless he put a tracker on Tim, or was stacking his phone or something. A tag wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. Tim didn’t want to worry about that now though, his coffee was done.

He sat at the breakfast table and leaned back in his chair. It was sunny out, or rather about as sunny as it could get in Gotham. Light streamed in, warming his back and making his coffee taste better, almost sweet. He hid his phone screen in his shadow to see it better. Nothing seemed to be going on. No major news headlines involving anything about Bats or Waynes apart from the usual gossip columns. He still needed to read those, though. It was his and Babs’s job to skim through them and make sure they didn’t get too close to finding anything. They never did, but it was a good practice.

Tim took a mental attendance of who would be at breakfast. Damian, definitely. Bruce was a maybe. Cass probably slept over at Steph’s if they went on a date, so she was a no. Duke… probably wasn’t here. Bruce let him stay in his parent’s house whenever he wanted. Jason was thankfully keeping his distance. Dick was still in Bludhaven. So it was probably just gonna be Damian and Bruce joining him. Good.

Tim and Damian were on really good terms right now, which was a pleasant change of pace from just above tolerating each other. Well, they’d been on good terms for a while, but now they were closer to actual friends than they’d ever been. That felt nice, having one less person who wanted him dead. Especially one that knew where he slept.

Speak of the demon prince, and he shall appear. Damian rounded the corner, still in his pajamas. He looked his age when he was tired. Damian sat across from him with sleepy, half-lidded eyes. When the sun reflected off them they looked…

“Dude, you look exactly like your mom.” Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Bruce’s features were definitely there, and they made almost the exact same expressions, but his eyes were a carbon copy of his mom’s. That was good, there were too many blue-eyed people in this family.

Damian looked up at him. “Huh?”

“Your eyes. They look exactly like your mom’s.”

Damian blinked emptily at the table. “That’s good. There are too many blue-eyed people in this godforsaken family.”

Tim smiled. “I know, right? Anyway, you look like you slept well. Want any coffee.”

“I don’t wish to stunt my growth like you have, Drake. I still plan to be fully functional when I mature.”

“Your loss.”

They sat in silence for a little while. It was nice, ambiotic. Titus walked in at one point and nuzzled his head onto Damian’s lap. Tim wanted to take a picture, it was too cute, he almost forgot it was Damian he was looking at. Bruce walked in a few moments later, looking as tired as ever. He sat at the head of the table like always and greeted them. Alfred came in with a tray and frowned. It was obvious why, he and Damian had this argument at least four times a week.

“Master Damian, please wash your hands before you eat.”

“Why should I? Titus is clean.”

“Titus is a dog. I have no doubt he licked your hand before I came in here.”

The argument went on until Damian slid out of his seat, cursing under his breath, Titus following on his heel. Alfred sighed and shook his head while Tim hid his smile in his coffee. Plates were placed in front of each of their seats, and Tim dug in. It was simple blueberry pancakes with scrambled eggs and bacon.

“Tim,” Bruce caught his attention once Alfred left the room. “I need to speak with you after breakfast.”

Tim’s coffee tasted bitter again. “Can it wait? I’m walking the dogs with Damian.” He really needed to stop instinctually lying, he’d get caught one day. Not now, but eventually. “It’s nice out.”

Bruce nodded. “Yes. Come find me when you’re done.”

Damian came back a few moments later and scanned the room for Alfred. Once he confirmed he wasn’t there, he picked the bacon off his plate and fed it to Titus, who happily and messily ate it off the floor.

“Good boy,” Damian smiled.

This was nice. It was nice out, breakfast was delicious, he had a good night's sleep, and the Scarecrow investigation was going smoothly.

Dread pooled in his gut.

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#fic #batman fanfiction #tim drake fic #tim drake whump #bad parent bruce wayne #bad parent alfred pennyworth #bad parent bruce is good for the soul #batfam #parentified tim drake #angst #tim drake #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #dick grayson #damian wayne #fanfic

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kunikame · 9 months ago

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5 times he thought he was the sun, and the 1 he realized he wasn't. - deuce s.

warnings : mostly deuce centric, angst, fluff, middle school deuce, violence mention, ace trappola, astral imagery and references (ITS MY TRADEMARK TRUST ME OK), im not sorry w/c : 2,448

1. when his mom said so.

it is a universally known fact that deuce spade is a “mama’s boy”. he is anything but ashamed of this, on the contrary, he carries the title with pride. his mother was the one who raised him and took care of him all his life, the least he can do is be proud of that and strive to be the best he can, so her efforts don’t go to waste.

this, he comes to realize in his middle school years, after witnessing his mother crying over his wounds first hand. she had berated him many times for being a “punk” and “gangster” (her words, not his), but he’s never seen her cry, no matter how bad things were.

so he strove to do better.

fueled by the pure and unfiltered shame and guilt pooling at the pit of his stomach, he sat as his mother bandaged his wounds, her tears mixing with the salve and blood streaming down his knuckles. in his defense, the guy totally deserved the beating he got, but he no longer believes it was worth it– not if the end result was his dearly beloved mother shedding tears over him.

the salve stung more than it normally did on that day.

over the next couple weeks he made sure to cut ties with all his friends and avoided getting into unreasonable fights like the bubonic plague. it was a bit hard, he admits, since all middle school kids are assholes who sometimes deserve a nice punch in the face, but he had to hold himself back and be good– an honor student.

as yet another fightless school day ended, a distant memory he seemed to have long forgotten and classified as “not important” resurfaced.

if he remembers correctly, he was about 8 at the time, just having learnt the concept of space and planets and the solar system in geography class. they had a ritual, his mother and him– as they walked home after classes ended hand in hand, tiny deuce would retell his entire day in great detail as his mother listened attentively and added her own comments sometimes. that's when he told her about the sun and how it was the center of everything.

suddenly sweet little deuce stopped in his tracks, an expression clearly showing he was deep in thought (and effectively overloading his brain, he will definitely need to take a nap later) etched on his face. he then looked up at her with sparkling eyes, and asked “does that mean im your sun, mama?”

the blue haired woman stunned for a mere moment, only to laugh so sweetly deuce berates himself for ever forgetting this dear, precious memory, “yes, darling. yes, you are.”

8 year old deuce thought he would never be happier.

he, however, failed to realize the sun tends to be red, perhaps orange.

never blue.

2. when people avoided him while staying in his orbit.

deuce has always considered himself a people magnet, for better or worse.

in middle school he was feared with friends few and far between, but despite being actively avoided by most of the student body, they still somehow, some way, gravitated towards him for one reason or another.

despite beating people up being his most common activity, deuce spade loved helping people. his mother raised him to always be mindful of others and help when he can, so he did just that– though sometimes in.. less academically acceptable means.

he didn’t just fight for fun, don’t get him wrong. he preferred to bring justice where it was due– to bullies. if one of his classmates was being bullied in front of him, he couldn’t just sit back and watch when he had 2 perfectly functioning hands and the offender a perfectly punchable face.

that is how deuce found himself feared, yet adored, at the same time. pulling people in while unintentionally pushing them away.

at night raven college he was no longer feared, or adored. there were guys much scarier, more powerful than him, why would anyone be scared of a first year without his unique spell? why would he be adored without having done anything to be deserving of adoration? if anything, he was constantly causing problems instead. this is not how his plan of being an honor student was supposed to go.

his kind and– contrary to high school– chill nature did seem to still pull people towards him, though. he had changed a lot since his “punk” days, he was much calmer and friendlier now, which seemed to make it easier for people to approach him. that’s how he found himself making many new friends for this journey.

much like the sun with the planets, it’s trusty companions, deuce also had his.

he had, yet again, failed to realize the sun was less good natured than him.

3. when he got his unique spell.

deuce was truly overjoyed the day it happened. what made it even better was that he was the first of his new friend group to manifest it!

well, technically– jack already had his before he came to nrc, so he doesn’t really count. for pride's sake.

better yet, it’s a super useful and powerful spell! he’s sure to make his mom proud with this one, he thinks to himself as he walks down one of the many dark hallways the school holds, smiling all the while.

now he’ll be more useful if there’s another overblot– now he can protect people with his magic! without having to use his fists (though it would be for a good cause, he reasons)!

now he can protect his dear magicless friend from harm, without having to rely on others too much.

many overblots have happened since you came here, and deuce has always felt bad he couldn’t do much to protect you, despite being a person in need and his promise to his mother. he thought himself too weak, which wasn’t too far from the truth– that much was proved in the actual battles. but now he has something more to him, something useful, and he’s going to milk the absolute most out of it. he’s going to hone his abilities even more to protect you, and others, better.

because that’s who he strives to be– one who protects, rather than one who harms. one who illuminates the darkest of days, one who shines in peril, one who saves.

much like the sun bestows it’s rays upon the earth, helping it flourish and grow and continue spinning.

he fails to notice the recent heatwave warnings.

4. when he kept his peers warm through the cold nights and days.

as previously mentioned, deuce saw himself as a kind of protector– to his friends and strangers alike. he saw a person in need, he helped, there was no deeper meaning, no poetic underlying translation to his actions.

it was simply second nature.

much like his mother used to put her hands on the edges of counters when he was under them, he, too, instinctively reaches to cover the edge of his desk when you lean down to pick up something you dropped.

contrary to popular belief, deuce spade is severely aware of his surroundings. he always keeps his eyes out for anything that might eventually bring harm to one of his fellow students, his neighbors, his mother, himself. he believes in good deeds returning to you one day, so he does his best to do as many of them as possible– seven know he’s going to need all the luck he can dig up for his finals.

the skills he picked up from his mother especially come in handy at times like these. if there’s any trinkets or machines at ramshackle that you need fixed but crowley doesn’t care and you simply can’t, deuce is lined up at the entrance and fixing it without you ever asking him to. if you mention something not working his mind is immediately preoccupied with finding ways to fix it as soon as possible.

he would rather fail a class than have one of his dear friends hurt over something he could’ve easily prevented had he been there.

so he keeps his eyes peeled and ears alert, observing and listening for any and all opportunities to be useful.

it was around winter time when the heating system at ramshackle broke down and you and grim barely had anything to keep yourselves warm. instead of your bedroom, you found yourself sleeping in the living room, right by the fireplace. the holes in the walls and shabby windows did not do much to keep the cold out, and despite the raging fire right in front of you, you still shivered and huddled further into your several layers of clothes and blankets.

once deuce found out, the first thing he did was curse crowley for being so irresponsible and refusing to fix it for you due to “low funding” (completely ignoring the fact you do all kinds of jobs for him without ever being paid more than what covers your monthly living expenses). the second thing was rush to ramshackle with a toolbox, fully intent on fixing it himself. he’s done it once before, surely he can do it again.

you slept in your warm bedroom again that night.

later, deuce woke in the middle of the night, having a dry throat and no water on his bedside table.

he snuck into the heartslabyul kitchen undetected, and once he refilled his glass, successfully made his way back to his room.

compared to the rest of the dorm, however, he noticed the room was awfully and oddly cold. that’s when he noticed the open window, and ace shivering in his bed.

deuce heaved a shivery sigh and headed to close the window, but he found himself stopping just short of it, glancing at his roommate still shivering, completely uncovered by his blanket. despite hating his guts, ace was still a close friend of his, so with another sigh he walked up to his bed and covered him again, much like his mother used to do to him.

much like the sun keeps the planets warm throughout the year.

he seems to have forgotten mercury is nearing incineration, while uranus and neptune are mostly frozen.

5. when he was akin to the morning light, soft and gentle.

deuce prided himself in being an early bird, he naturally rose with the sun.

maybe it was due to being used to being woken up by his mothers alarms, maybe he just developed this skill over the years– he himself is not entirely sure.

ace always complained about how he could be so energetic and alert in the mornings, while the redhead was completely out of it.

deuce took joy from being able to watch the sunrise. watching the colors of the sky slowly change in the morning energized him plenty for the day to come– it reminded him that no matter what happens, the sun will rise again tomorrow.

this morning, however, he is seeing it in an entirely different light.

him, ace, sebek, jack, epel and ortho had all spent the night at ramshackle at a first year sleepover, organized by you. admittedly, it was the most fun he’s had in a while– and not just him, either, since even sebek seemed to be coming out of his shell.

after the others had long gone to sleep, you stayed up with deuce to chat deep into the night, since you had no classes the next morning. you could allow yourself a little leisure.

deuce spade has never heard his voice be as soft as it was then. he had whispered with people many times in his life, but not once had he sounded so gentle, so tender while talking to someone.

that is when he finally realized something that he completely let slip by him, something he pinned as absolutely normal.

he realized how gentle he’s always been with you.

ever since you came here, deuce has always treated you with care– like you were something fragile, something he might accidentally break if he held it wrong. his hands were used to causing pain, after all.

but no, not with you. never you.

which is why you compared him to the morning light– because in your view, he was just that. something tranquil, something comforting, something that feels like home.

deuce treated you with love, an indescribable fondness behind his every action– something he himself seemed to miss, yet everyone else noticed.

much like the morning lights gentle rays, deuce spade caressed your face.

+ 1. when the moon's glow felt all too familiar.

when deuce opened his eyes that morning, he could immediately tell it would not be a good day.

the morning light did nothing to his exhaustion, and he felt awfully cold, despite it being spring.

as he walked up to his class, he was greeted by a group of people surrounding ace, murmuring about one thing or another. once he approached, the circle parted to let him through to his seat, and he noticed ace was simply performing his card tricks.

“hey, dude, good morning! look at this trick i came up with–”

as he watched his roommates hands carefully, intent on finding out the secret behind the trick, he blinked only once and suddenly it all clicked into place.

why the sun did nothing to him, why he felt so cold.

the sun wasn’t his.

that was simply it, the sun was not his, deuce spade was never the sun– ace trappola was.

whenever a crowd of people surrounded deuce, ace was there. ace kept people cheerful and entertained throughout the days, deuce only kept them warm at night.

ace trappola was bright, vivid, warm, eye-catching, red.

deuce spade was dim, cool, easy to miss, blue.

ace trappola was everything deuce was not, but everything he wished to be.

and yet, one could not function without the other. deuce needed ace as much as ace needed him– they complimented each other perfectly, be as it may.

through the envy pooling in the pit of his stomach, he mustered up a smile and praised the redhead for his newest trick, applauded even. through the envy he watched as ace lit up, shining brighter than the sun in the window right next to his head, and he realized he could never compete over something he could never do.

he could never do what ace trappola does as effortlessly as breathing.

although quite similar in nature, the moon could never do what the sun does naturally.

and, perhaps, the moon, too, had once wished to be the sun.

ੈ✩₊˚TAGLIST : @lunavixia @solxima @gabirii @erigaur @pomegranateboba //ask/comment or fill form to be added/removed! (if you're in bold i can't tag you)

#🖋「txt」#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland x y/n #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #deuce spade x reader #deuce spade x yuu #deuce spade x you #deuce spade x y/n #deuce spade

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starkspondwater · 4 months ago

Note

Hello how are you? I was going to ask if you could make a kyle broflovski x shy black reader if that's OK with uou. I totally understand if you don't want to.

Hi! I am alive and kicking! You are too sweet and I definitely want to write this for you but as someone who is not a person of color, I didn't want to include things I felt I didn't know about, so there are only a few references! I hope that's alright! I did pull a little bit of knowledge about difficulty finding hair care stuff because my mother is half black herself and had lamented that to me multiple times. I also decided to fit in a little Cartman drama!

Summary: A new girl in school has Kyle intrigued, but unfortunately it looks like Cartman has some plans.

Warning: Cartman being a piece of shit

Kyle Broflovski x Shy!Black!Reader

Moving to a new place is scary for everyone, having to meet and remember new faces, get into new routines, the list goes on and on. What made this particularly worse was that you were moving to a small town where everyone already knew everyone. Cliques were already set in stone and from what you had gathered most towns like this didn’t particularly welcome new folks into the fold so quickly.

Despite worries, you were still sent off to school without ceremony, expected to seamlessly fit in and make friends, which for some of your old classmates wouldn’t be a big deal but for you? It was hell. You were not a very sociable person, not because you did not want to be but because your body physically didn’t let you, words getting caught in your throat and the urge to hide so strong you had to actively fight it.

Walking into your first period you were met with the small class of students you would apparently be getting to know very well over the next year before graduation. You were pleased to see that diversity had made its way even to the mountain towns of Colorado, a small fear that you would be a bit of an outcast with your darker complexion.

Settling down in your seat you could tell eyes were on you, curious at the new arrival. The attention had you keeping your head down and silently praying class would soon begin. Unfortunately, the first thing your teacher did was ask you to come up to the front of class and introduce yourself.

“Hey,” you breathed out, trying to calm the beating of your heart as you struggled to look at everyone. “My name is Y/N and-”

“Uh oh, looks like you have some competition, Nichole,” a rather large boy near the front said loudly, causing a blond boy in blue to snicker.

“Shut the hell up, fatass,” another boy behind him, this one much more tall and lean with a green hat, shot back, kicking the back of his chair.

“Jesus Christ, quiet down, quiet down! Y/N take your seat, and Eric, stop with the comments,” sat down at his desk, Mr. Garrison flipped on a video, something they were to take notes on according to the board, and went to read a magazine.

Sitting back down, you kept your eyes firmly on the desk in front of you, missing the glances of one green eyed boy.

The next couple of weeks flew by to your relief, and despite your quiet demeanor several of the girls welcomed you with open arms and had you sitting with them at every opportunity. It all still felt a bit awkward, but no one seemed perturbed by your lack of conversation as they chatted amongst each other. Out of all the girls however, you found yourself closest with Wendy and Nichole, both girls slowly getting you out of the little shell you hid yourself behind.

You hadn’t had many girlfriends back home so it was really nice to have actual girl time. You hadn’t expected to enjoy those little shopping trips, sleepovers, and stories of dumb boyfriends, but you did! And on top of it all, Nichole was a godsend. South Park was still a small town, and stores here just didn’t carry all the hair care items you needed, but she had cracked the system and was happy to share tips and tricks to help you out.

It was the beginning of your second month there when you found someone new edging their way into your sphere, someone who you now knew to be Kyle Broflovski. You recognized him easily enough from classes, and even recalled him kicking Eric’s chair your first day there.

“Hey Y/N? Is it alright if I sit with you today?” Kyle gave a sheepish smile as he gestured to the empty seat at your lunch table. You couldn’t help yourself from fumbling over your words and telling him yes, but he got the gist and sat himself down.

You were never very good around boys, especially cute ones like him. He just seemed so different with wild red hair he could only attempt to hide and bright green eyes, eyes that were currently on you. Feeling a little warm, you focused on eating the food in front of you.

“How have you been liking South Park?” Kyle looked at you with interest, something that didn’t help with the pounding in your chest.

“It’s been fine so far,” Kyle tilted his head down a bit, asking you to repeat yourself. With how loud the lunch room got it was no surprise he couldn’t hear your quiet tone. “It’s been fine,” you said a little firmer.

“Good, good,” Looking a little nervous, Kyle took a few bites of his own food, careful to finish chewing before speaking again. “You have history.”

“Excuse me?”

“After lunch, you have history, right? I do too, maybe we could, like, walk together?” Pushing around the food on his tray, his eyes darted away from you.

“Um…sure. Yeah.” Out of the corner of your eye you could see some of the girls giving you curious looks.

“Awesome! Cool, uh- see you after lunch then!” With a small stumble Kyle got up and headed to his own table. Almost as quick as he left, his seat was once again occupied by Nichole.

“So, Kyle huh?” she gave a smirk. At your bewildered expression she rolled her eyes. “That was him hitting on you. He’s not the most suave guy here, but he’s sweet.”

“He just asked to walk with me to class…” fiddling with your nails, you tried to think of some other explanation for why he’d talk to you. Maybe he wanted to help with some assignment, he was fairly smart, or perhaps he needed notes that he’d known you’d have. He could also just be taking pity on the new girl.

Once lunch was over Kyle met you at the doors, a nervous grin plastered onto his face. You could hear the giggles of your friends behind you, lightly pushing you forwards. Before you could even say anything, Kyle just held out his arms, as though waiting for something. After a second or two of you just staring, he cleared his throat.

“Y-your books…I can carry them.” His pale freckled face bloomed with color as he spoke.

“Oh! Uh…alright then,” gently placing the books in his outstretched arms, the two of you began to trek to class, maneuvering around other students rushing to their own lunch period. As nice as this was, curiosity was getting the better of you. “Was there a reason you wanted to walk with me?”

“I just…I just wanted to get to know you better is all. Wendy talks about you a lot and you don’t really speak to anyone in class…”

Oh. Oh. This made your heart flutter a little bit more. Nichole did say he was interested, but you had no clue what to actually do here. All too soon you had made it to class, a crestfallen look on Kyle’s face. You felt bad, he had obviously been nervous to talk to you, just as nervous as you were it seemed.

“We could talk after school…if you wanted?” you managed to squeak out. Kyle seemed to falter for a minute before giving a relieved grin, nodding his head vigorously.

“After school for sure!” With a nod he went off to his own seat, already whispering with another friend of his. What neither of you noticed, however, was the large boy at the back of the room closely watching your interaction.

The butterflies you felt continued through the day as you thought about Kyle. What would you talk about? Would he like getting to know you? Maybe this could lead to something more- at that thought you felt giddy. You were too shy to approach anyone back home, but here you thought that maybe you could change that.

“Excuse me, Y/N, is it?” A voice caused you to jump, nearly hitting your head on the top of your locker. Spinning around you were face to face with Eric Cartman, that boy from your first day. You had heard enough about him from the girls and seen the disruptions he had made in class to quickly endeavor to stay off his radar which apparently failed.

“Y-yes?” Eric seemed almost too pleased, gazing down at you, his grin catlike.

“I was told to inform you that there is something in the gym that requires your attention.” You felt your eyebrow raise at his choice of words. Even for the few weeks you had been here, Eric had never sounded so…eloquent? At least compared to his regular speech, this was downright fancy.

“Oh, um,” You made quick eye contact with the redhead that had been running through your mind all day. He had been searching for you through the halls, ready to walk and talk with you. Seeing Eric in front of you though, had him rushing through the hall with urgency. “I can’t today, unfortunately.”

Eric’s eye twitched as he stayed silent, thinking. He had plans and knew they needed to be done today. Slapping on a big smile, he placed a large hand on your shoulder, turning you towards the direction of the gymnasium.

“It’ll only be a minute, I promise! Now go into the gym and-”

“No, no, no, no, not this again you fat fuck.” Kyle tore Eric’s hand away, giving him a harsh glare.”What the fuck are you doing?”

“What Kahl? I was just told to bring the lovely Y/N to the gym for some very important busine-”

“No. You’re going to lock her in there like you did with Nichole and Tolkein.” Nichole and Tolkein? What was he talking about?

“Listen Jewboy, we got someone else waiting in there-” “Who?” Kyle’s face was growing redder by the second.

“Who were you trying to set her up with?” Using his height advantage Kyle looked down on Eric, practically seething.

“David.”

“It’s pronounced Da-veed and why in the hell would you set her up with him? You knew I liked her!” At that your eyes snapped right onto Kyle. So he did like you! You felt yourself start to smile as the two boys argued.

“Not my fault you took too long to clean out your vagina and ask her,” Getting up into the ginger’s face Eric ‘s voice rose. “And better him than you, he’s at least light skinned!” Smack! Kyle’s palm burned from the contact with Eric’s cheek, the larger boy reeling at the blow.

“You are gonna stop with your shit, Cartman. I don’t want to hear it anymore, you hear me?” Grabbing your hand, Kyle pulled you down the hall and out the front door. After a few strides into the cold, he stopped. “Are you alright?”

“...What was he trying to do?” Throughout all this that was what confused you the most. You didn’t even know the guy, why would he care about this at all.

“Cartman is a piece of shit with an agenda.” Rubbing a hand down his face, he tried to calmly explain. “Back in elementary he got it in his head that people needed to ‘stick with their own kind’ and locked Nichole and Tolkein in the locker room over a weekend so they’d get together. He was trying to do the same to you.”

“Oh…” well, now the very few comments he had made about you started to make sense. “That’s…really shitty. And pretty stupid.” Kyle looked wide eyed at you before bursting out into laughter, your own joining in.

“Yeah, we know. I’m honestly lucky there hadn’t been any jewish girls around or he’d try the same with me!”

“You’re jewish?” Blushing at your question, Kyle rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah…is that okay?” Shoulders hunched in on himself he looked at you with a bit of apprehension.

“Of course! I just want to know more about it…and more about you.” Heat rushed to your face as you looked up at him. His own cheeks, once red with anger now softened to a tinged pink.

“Wanna talk over some ice cream?” Kyle gave a small smile, holding out a gloved hand.

“I’d love to.” Placing your own hand in his, the two of you walked down the sidewalk, quiet voices mingling.

#south park x reader #south park fanfiction #south park x you #south park x y/n #kyle broflovksi x you #kyle broflovski x reader #request

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nutty1005 · 1 year ago

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3 Xiao Zhan.

Original Article: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/7YZimnoaGOkx-vTeiPyckg Original Author: 智族GQ Translator’s note: The article will be published in the February 2024 Issue of GQ

Xiao Zhan: Clear goals, accepting results

01 Relaxation

The studio was by the Huangpu River in Shanghai, Xiao Zhan was wrapped in a black down jacket, he had took off his shoes, and sat cross-legged on the corner of the sofa, looking very relaxed. The filming came to an end for the time being. Although he had been working continuously for more than 7 hours, there was no trace of fatigue on his face.

This is a face that attracts attention all the time. A few months ago, the studio released a Xiao Zhan’s birthday photoshoot, and keen-eyed netizens immediately noticed that his face had “became rounder”. In order to play the character of Guo Jing in the movie “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Great Hero”, which was directed by Tsui Hark, Xiao Zhan gained weight before joining the group, his cheeks were no longer so thin and his figure was obviously more buff. In the photographs, he had a stubble and the vicissitudes of life were slightly visible on him.

Strictly speaking, “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Great Hero” was Xiao Zhan’s second movie. There were many previous classic versions of Guo Jing’s character, and the pressure on him was obviously visible.

On the day of the cover shoot for “GQ”, Xiao Zhan got up very early to go for a run. He could not help but think, my God, I am going to lose muscle mass again after sweating so much. He debated whether to continue, and finally decided to run for 30 minutes. When the time came, he remembered that body fat would start burning after 30 minutes, so he ran for an additional 10 minutes.

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All of these is for work. “Actually, I don’t want to run. Running will lose muscles mass, but I have to run to reduce swelling.” After the filming, he planned to do weights training no matter how late it was. An actor’s self-discipline is to be always ready to shape his image for the character, but he must also strictly control his diet and manage his body shape. Xiao Zhan regards both as professional standards and expects himself to do so

Before meeting, I thought Xiao Zhan would be very cautious about interviews. To my surprise, Xiao Zhan had a rare sense of relaxation, answered all questions, and was even humorous. When mentioning that actors should observe characters in life, he commented on the sitting postures of several people present; when asked what things he did not expect after joining the industry, his answer was that he could not eat whatever he wanted like his high school classmates.

The interview lasted for almost two hours, I became curious about what kind of experience it had been for Xiao Zhan, who had been under immense attention in the past few years. Xiao Zhan said instead that he had forgotten this matter frequently and it did not cause him a lot of trouble in life, the most “cruel” thing might have been “being unable eat as much as you want”.

“I will still sneak out to ride my bike, take a walk, and do a City Walk. There was only one time when I was recognized after walking in a alley for 5 minutes. I also mingled into the cinema and watched a movie. No one will care about you, really. After leaving the Internet, many things will be solved easily. Sometimes it seems like what is before our eyes is the world, this is a misunderstanding, but yet we cannot avoid this misunderstanding, so there is no way around it.”

There were so many things he especially wanted to do, such as taking the subway and going shopping. “I will really squeeze onto the subway, perhaps tomorrow, it’s so normal, I used to take the subway every day.” For Xiao Zhan, this was the life he really wanted. The voices of social media no longer bothered him, “After all these years, can I still live if I’m still bothered? (laughs) It’s really just fine.”

At this stage, Xiao Zhan is very satisfied with his living situation. “I have a job, a life of my own, and an audience that likes me. I have nothing to be dissatisfied with.”

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02 Becoming an Actor

To a certain extent, Xiao Zhan’s sense of relaxation stems from his increasingly clear goals. The voices from the external world no longer bothered him, he is clear about what he wants and what he do not want. Now, he is doing more subtraction for himself. In the past two years, he had rarely appeared in variety shows, taking the career of actor as his most important goal at this moment.

In 2023, 3 television dramas starring Xiao Zhan broadcasted, and each character was a challenge for Xiao Zhan. During the interview, Xiao Zhan said many times that he was “under a lot of pressure”, and he said this almost every time when reviewing every stage. But his tone was light, without the heaviness of complaints, more like a post analysis and summary, the reasons were often specific and objective: the first time he came into contact with performing without props, the first time he took on the leading role alone, the first time he acted in an modern drama…

“Where Dreams Begin / The Youth Memories” was a script that Xiao Zhan particularly liked. He liked stories about that generation very much, as a child he watched some television dramas such as “Once Upon a Time in Beijing” and “Happiness as Flowers”. When he mentioned the 1970s and 1980s, he felt that it was sunny and bright, it was colorful. Many people said that Xiao Chunsheng was a perfect character, but to Xiao Zhan that happened to be his greatest flaw, he thought this character was very interesting and wanted to give it a try. Xiao Chunsheng was a young man from Beijing, hence how to express the character’s imposing manner and speak authentic Beijing dialect was a big challenge for Xiao Zhan, who had lived in Chongqing since childhood.

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The Shi Ying character in “The Longest Promise” was aloof, because he did not want to let down everyone’s expectations for his ancient costume appearance, Xiao Zhan tried his best to lose weight before joining the group. “‘The Longest Promise’ was a script I got in 2020. It had the most complete character and most delicate emotions from the scripts I could choose from, it was also very logical and self-consistent, it was my best choice.”

“Sunshine By My Side” was a script that Xiao Zhan has been exposed to for the longest time, starting from the end of 2019. Although Sheng Yang in “Sunshine By My Side” closely overlapped with Xiao Zhan’s pre-debut career, but for him to move his life as a designer to the screen and act in a natural and convincing manner, he did not have confidence. “Modern dramas and life dramas are really unfamiliar fields.” Initially, he was too eager to finish his lines and memorized them completely, but when he said them, it made people think that no one in real life would speak like this, later on he discovered where to break the lines and which words to emphasize in modern dramas, and the logic was actually very strong.

In the past few years, he had acted as a soldier, a doctor, a designer, and a Beijing youth. There were no special considerations, and they all happened naturally. He rarely acted in recurring roles. But when choosing a script, Xiao Zhan would not deliberately avoid themes that he had acted in before, instead he will just put himself in the audience’s perspective to feel whether he could be moved by it.

In 2021, Xiao Zhan starred in the theater play “A Dream Like a Dream”, playing the role of Patient No. 5. On the day of the premiere, many topics related to theater appeared on Weibo hot searches, becoming a phenomenon-level event in the theater circle.

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On acting in “A Dream Like A Dream”, Xiao Zhan hesitated for a long time. There are many reasons for his hesitation: he was from Chongqing, he was not from a professional background, there is no NG in theater plays, it would last for 8 hours, “Dream Like a Dream” was also very famous, and there had been many classic versions of Patient No. 5 prior. But after reading the script, Xiao Zhan felt that he must perform in it.

Theater play is a very pure thing. Dozens or even hundreds of people gather in a space to tell a story, this is an experience that film and television cannot bring, hence Xiao Zhan yearns for it. He began to maniacally memorize his lines, and enclosed himself in Tangshan to rehearse intensively with the entire group for more than a month, grinding out one scene after another.

“I was very nervous for the first performance. I am still nervous now when I think about it. When Gu Xianglan rang the bell, I shuddered.” The instant the light hit him, Xiao Zhan felt that everything had stopped, he could not see the expressions of the audience under the stage and there was only white left in front of him.

Xiao Zhan adjusted his breathing and began to speak his lines. The director said that the actors in the opening scene controlled the rhythm of the entire story, so every time he said that line, Xiao Zhan was most nervous. As he spoke, he would gradually forget about his nervousness, and after he was done speaking, he would let out a long sigh of relief, and think, ah, it has finally ended.

Once, towards the end of the first half of the performance, Patient No. 5 went on stage to find Gu Xianglan with a painting and an address, and had a long monologue. Walking to the middle of the stage, Xiao Zhan’s mind suddenly stumbled. He could not remember the beginning of the next line. After hesitating for about 1.5 seconds, he chose to skip that word and continued. The audience should not be able to tell the difference, he thought. He could not remember that word even until the end of the performance.

“I couldn’t remember it even when I got to the lounge, so I flipped over the script to take a look, so it was this word.”

“Which word?”

“A very common word, for example, pure drinking water, I was thinking what kind of drinking water? Distilled water? Tap water? Boiled water? I just couldn’t remember it.” Xiao Zhan replied.

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Acting is a domain with very profound knowledge. Xiao Zhan said: “I have only scratched the surface so far.” When filming “Sunshine By My Side”, the co-actors were all experienced actors, and in terms of acting skills, Xiao Zhan was still very immature, tended to be over forceful and left traces of performance marks. He told himself to “be less pretentious”, feel everything the other party throws at him with his heart, and respond honestly.

Xiao Zhan once expressed that he had difficulty understanding many characters due to his limited life experience. He had discussed this issue with his seniors, “Everyone has two opinions. Some people will say that of course you have to go through it, without experience, you don’t have a image, how can you portray it? All that you act is fake. Also, there is a voice saying that everything can be resolved by technique.”

Xiao Zhan’s own answer is, “Act more and be exposed to all types of genres” and “cooperate with more good teams, actors and directors.”

“To be honest, what I can do now is to act what my thoughts can reach, it is really difficult for me to act something that I have no concept of at all. Maybe in the future, through a work or cooperation with more good directors and actors, my confusion can be solved. I look forward to this day coming soon.“

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03 Decluttering

Relaxation is a side of Xiao Zhan, he can balance some of the pressure, but there is a part of it that is difficult for him to resolve. Xiao Zhan does not sleep well. “It’s very difficult for me to fall asleep, and I sleep very lightly, there will be situations where I don’t feel rested after sleeping, which affects my state the next day.” This would happen especially when he just joined the drama group and would be in a state of high nervousness, he would often dream about filming on set, but the filming did not go well.

When he would go to different cities, Xiao Zhan would bring the same type of pillows and quilts. “I will bring anything that can help me sleep well.” He had also tried aromatherapy lamps, lavender essential oil, various products that could make him fall asleep when applied on his body, medicinal spray on the pillow that could make people fall asleep, melatonin and meditation music. In the end, he found that the best things that made him sleep well were sleep masks, earplugs, and not looking at his phone, “because I know that once I look at it, I won’t sleep, then I might as well get up.”

Not long ago, Xiao Zhan found an old book “Decluttering” at home. That was recommended to him by his ex-company boss when he was working as a designer. The concept of organizing life described in the book made Xiao Zhan start to rethink what he wanted and what he should give up.

Xiao Zhan has a particularly obstinate side to his character, “If it’s something I insist on and I think that is right, it will be difficult to convince me.” For example, when he decided to be an actor, he did not want to do anything outside of being an actor, “You come and force me, then let’s debate. No one is right or wrong, the team is also doing this for your own good, since isn’t it a good thing to have a lot of work? But for me, I have to subtract because some things are really not what I want.”

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Xiao Zhan’s acting experience began with a story about “an older commoner chasing dreams in the entertainment industry”. He participated in the talent show at the age of 24, learned dance from scratch, debuted as a boy band, acted in online dramas, played supporting roles in theater movies, until 2019 when he became popular, Xiao Zhan also became a star that attracted attention.

When you decide to do something, you must try your best to do it well. This was what Xiao Zhan has been taught since childhood, when he was in junior high school, his family bought him a mobile phone. When he first started texting, he often used spaces to replace punctuation marks, his father then said to him sternly, “What about the punctuation marks? Why is there no period at the end of the sentence?” From that time on, Xiao Zhan was very concerned about punctuation marks.

Xiao Zhan had been competitive since he was a child, and he was not willing to miss any opportunity when it came to things he could control. When he was taking the bus to school, he would worry about the person on the bus who was asleep and would missed the stop.

For things that he could not control, he would remind himself not to force them and learn to accept them. Until then, do what he could.

When asked which drama Xiao Zhan obtained with his own hard work, Xiao Zhan’s answer was surprising. He said: “Every one.” Before becoming famous, he auditioned for many dramas, and also experienced being replaced after entering the final round of auditions and even trialed the drama in costume. Now, of course, scripts would be handed over, but Xiao Zhan would always tell himself that people only had intentions and could hand them over to many people at the same time. If he found one he really liked, he would take the initiative to meet with the director to explain his understanding of the character.

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Xiao Zhan believes that it is important to have a correct attitude

Xiao Zhan’s growing up environment was no different from that of many born in the 1990s. Mother and father would go to work, grandmother would cook at home, and he would go to and from school every day. If he did not do well in the exam, he would be beaten. After dinner at 6:30 every night, the children would ask him downstairs to play hide-and-seek, wooden figurines, and throw sandbags, as he talked about these, he was very happy. These ordinary little things seemed so precious now. Xiao Zhan said that he was very grateful for the first 23 years of his life before his dream adventure in the entertainment industry. “I cherish it very much, I think it is good.”

He thought that if he had not entered the entertainment industry, he would have lived a life like his classmates and friends, accompanying clients for meals every day, going home and staying up late to catch up on designs.

“Being seen” is a happy thing. No matter how busy he was at work, Xiao Zhan never complained, “If you have a job, then work hard.” “While filming “The Oath of Love”, he was also recording the variety show “Our Song”. During the intervals while waiting for scenes, he would hum softly with his earphones on. The other actors would come over curiously, and Xiao Zhan would smiled sheepishly, explaining that he was practicing the song he was going to sing in the evening. “I don’t have time, I really don’t have time.” At that time, work occupied almost all of his life.

Xiao Zhan rarely takes the initiative to give himself a holiday. “It’s not realistic,” he said flatly. When he was most tired, he could fall asleep just sitting on the set.

This year, Xiao Zhan had a sense of urgency regarding “acting inexperience”, “compared with some seniors, they have already acted in many works in their thirties.” Xiao Zhan knows very clearly that his acting could not improve in leaps and bounds just from one drama, “this might be hard for it to happen to me.”

He once thought about whether to be an actor with a personal style or an actor that the audience would like after watching it. His answer was the latter, “everyone may not be your fan, or even not particularly interested in you, but when you know that he has a drama on and you might want to watch it because his dramas are pretty good. I want to do that, that’s my current goal. Whether or not I can become the level of the actors I like is a long way to go, take it slowly.”

“Making more dramas and cooperating with more good teams, this is just the one goal at the moment, I won’t consider other things for the time being.” Xiao Zhan said.

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Q&A About Acting

GQ: When did it become clear that you wanted to be an actor? Xiao Zhan: When the public started paying more and more attention to me, I wanted to say, why can’t I do it? I think I can. Sometimes I waver and feel it’s so difficult. Why can’t I do it? For example, when it comes to lines, why are they just not good? Why can’t I speak as well as the others? Is it because I’m from the South? I don’t think so. Then I think, so how can I speak well? I can do it, give it a try.

GQ: In your opinion, what are the professional standards for actors? Xiao Zhan: First of all, having excellent professional skills is an unavoidable topic. You can have a non-professional background, but you must have excellent professional skills. This is what I want to do and what I’m currently doing. I feel like I’m not enough, too far behind. After having excellent professional skills, attitude is very important and whether you love it or not is also very important. If you only view it as a job, you may not be able to go very far. But if you really love it, you will cry for it and laugh for it. This may be the motivation for you to persist. Also having a strong body (laughs), I used to not feel tired when I was in my twenties, but now I will feel very tired after staying up late. This is a terrible thing, it is important to have a strong body, this is your foundation.

GQ: When acting in which character or drama did you feel recognition for? Xiao Zhan: At the beginning, when I was working on “The Wolf”, I was under a lot of pressure, the acting teacher would give me a lot of advice and guidance, and I would constantly subvert my acting method every day, it was a period of confusion. After you got over it, you would find that you have grown, and when you started acting again later, you would gradually find a little bit of feeling, and then you would get over it step by step, this was a cumulative process. I feel that I have too little acting experience. Compared with some of the seniors, who have accumulated many works in their thirties, my current works are still too few and I have not accumulated enough.

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GQ: Do you feel worried? Xiao Zhan: Yes. Because I think (improving acting skills) is a cumulative process. You can’t take a big step with just one movie. This is hard for that to happen to me, so I have to keep filming, and to keep filming good dramas, don’t waste yourself

GQ: The 3 dramas broadcasted in 2023 stretched from ancient costume to era dramas and urban dramas, what were the considerations? Xiao Zhan: Actually, there were no considerations, it just happened naturally, there were no deliberate avoidance of themes I had acted in before, it’s just (selection) by reading the script. When the scripts were handed to me at that time, I felt attracted to a certain script at the moment, so I chose it, it just happened to be a theme that I had never acted in before.

GQ: Do you feel tired from acting in ancient costume dramas all the time? Xiao Zhan: There are many types of ancient costume dramas, don’t have to separate them into ancient costume dramas and modern dramas, it’s nothing more than sticking on a wig and changing clothes, actually the core is the same, but the outer shell is different.

GQ: Once the drama you filmed airs, will you follow it? Xiao Zhan: I won’t follow them, but I will watch them, I will choose the big scenes that I care about and watch them, counts as me looking for problems for myself.

GQ: Will you watch with the scrolling comments? Xiao Zhan: I used to do it really, and I felt very entertained, laughing and joking with everyone, but now I won’t do it.

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GQ: What kind of character do you want to play now? Xiao Zhan: If I could choose, the best would be the ones I haven’t tried before. I need freshness. If I ask you to do the same thing every day, you will be bored.

GQ: What kind of actor do you want to be? Xiao Zhan: I want to be an actor that the audience can like.

GQ: Have you not already done this to make people like you? Xiao Zhan: No, no, I think it’s far from enough. I once thought about whether to be an actor with a personal style or to be an actor that the audience likes just by looking at you. Currently I want to be an actor who makes the audience feel good. Everyone may not be your fan, or even not particularly interested in you, but when you know that he has a drama on and you might want to watch it because his dramas are pretty good. I want to do that, that’s my current goal. Whether or not I can become the level of the actors I like is a long way to go, take it slowly.

GQ: Who are your favorite actors? Xiao Zhan: Many, for example Zhou Xun has always been my favorite actress. I recently watched her movie (“Across the Furious Sea”) and it was really great.

GQ: What are your career plans in 2024? Xiao Zhan: Making more dramas and cooperating with more good teams, this is just the one goal at the moment, I won’t consider other things for the time being.

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Q&A About Life

GQ: Do voices on social media bother you? Xiao Zhan: It doesn’t bother me. After all these years, can I still live if I’m still bothered? (laughs) It’s really just fine. It’s fine as long as I am clear about what I am doing. Every time you make a choice, you must clearly know what you are doing, what you have to give up, and what you have to do. So, it’s fine, maybe the team has more troubles.

GQ: Is your personal life unaffected? Xiao Zhan: Very normal! I can go out for a bike ride and a stroll. When you’re walking down the street, no one really cares about you. It’s really not what everyone imagines. Then I walked around freely.

GQ: Are those escape moments for you? Xiao Zhan: Moments of relaxation. Why do I need to escape? I am also in the third dimension, where should I escape to, this is my life, I am the same as everyone. There are many things I particularly want to do, such as squeezing onto the subway and shopping in shopping malls, which are very similar to when I was in school, and maybe I will do them in the future.

GQ: Do you miss the ordinary life very much? Xiao Zhan: It’s not that I miss it, it’s that I think I should do it, this is living. I will really take squeeze into the subway, perhaps tomorrow, it’s so normal, I used to take the subway every day. To me, there’s nothing I can’t do, so what if you discover me? Say hello and leave. It’s just that I don’t want to cause confusion, trouble, or bad reactions to everyone.

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Q&A About Personality

GQ: You haven’t appeared on variety shows in recent years. Is this a conscious choice? Xiao Zhan: Because it’s not suitable, with my personality, being in a variety show is too tiring, I would want to take care of everyone’s feelings, which would make myself very tired. Since I know that it would be this result, then I might as well don’t do it.

GQ: What was your original intention in entering the entertainment industry? Xiao Zhan: I really broke in mysteriously with confusion. The talent shows I used to watch would interview the top contestants, how did you get to this point? The contestant would say that I accompanied my friend to participate in the selection, but my friend failed and I was selected. When I was a child, I thought these things were far away from me, but when it came to myself, it’s really like this, and I think it’s amazing. I entered the idol competition, then I got here and that’s it. Very amazing, life is very interesting.

GQ: What things have you not thought of before after joining the industry? Xiao Zhan: It is a very cruel thing to not be able to to eat freely. When I see my former high school classmates who already have children and have put on some weight, I will sigh, I also want to eat freely like this. Their living status makes me feel that if I had not chosen this path at that time, maybe we would all be the same, we have to socialize and stay up late to catch up on designs, you don’t know how tiring it is to do design, but life is like this and there is no other way.

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GQ: How has choosing this path changed you? Xiao Zhan: Maybe I lack a lot of life experiences, in this regard, my classmates and friends are far better than me. They have experienced real things. There are no cameras facing you, no lights, you are living your own real life.

GQ: Are you an emotionally stable person? Xiao Zhan: Comparatively, more, stable. But once it hits some points, I will become very unstable.

GQ: For example? Xiao Zhan: Just… some things that cannot be said, haha. Maybe when something incredulous happens, you will think, what are you doing, or, when something happens that normal people would not do, I will become very angry. Maybe it’s some privacy issue, if this point is breached, I will go “berserk”. Everyone has their own boundaries, and some people have no sense of proportion, I will just stay away from these kind of people. But when the boundaries are broken again and again and the bottom line is touched, I will get very angry.

Dark red suit jacket and trousers both Gucci

GQ: You once said that you have a particularly tenacious side to your personality. What do you mean specifically? Xiao Zhan: Principles, I am a very obstinate person, if it’s something I insist on and I think that is right, it will be difficult to convince me. For example, if I want to be an actor and I don’t want to do anything other than being an actor, if you come and force me, then let’s debate. No one is right or wrong, the team is also doing this for your own good, since isn’t it a good thing to have a lot of work? But for me, I have to subtract because some things are really not what I want.

GQ: Do you have a perfectionist side? Xiao Zhan: I just want to do it well, and do my best in the current moment. Maybe the result is not good, but what can I do, this is all I can do.

GQ: Can you accept failure? Xiao Zhan: I can accept. I might not have been able to accept it a few years ago, but 32-year-old Xiao Zhan has learned to accept this (laughs).

White backless suit with fringe, white leather loafers, both Jacquemus Black suit trousers Bianca Saunders

#xiao zhan #xiaozhan #肖战 #sean xiao

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hellyeahfanthings · 1 month ago

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I had this idea for a story the other day after thinking "what would happen if Dante and Vergil were to high school?" I never know AUs could be so funny. I picked some ideas and the resume is: what if Eva didn't die that day and they moved to the next city, the one were Dante lives in the games?

I have so many ideas for this story, more that for the other, but I'll try to write both went life and my brain let me. As always, enjoy.

CHAPTER 1

It was their last year of high school and, after all those years, they did not make any real friend. They were weird compared with the rest of their classmates, not only because of their white hair, icy blue eyes and tall stature, but the way the behave: friendly, but distant, and not caring about self-preservation.

Even like this, people around them were able to differentiate them easily: Dante was a bit of a joker, but short tempered and liked brawling; Vergil was more serious, calmer, liked reading, but was worse than his brother when angered. They liked different clothing styles too, but in school they wore the regulation uniform. Not that mattered, as Dante wore it messy, with part of the shirt unbuttoned and almost never wearing a tie, while Vergil was always neat, almost reaching perfection. On top of this, Dante kept his unruly hair down while his brother put his back in a spiky way.

It was not like the were ostracized, but, after years of trying they joined some sport club or any kind of party or reunion, their classmates just gave up and simply had a friendly day to day relationship with them.

They did not speak about themselves too much, either: people knew about how the liked going to that high school, how they loved sparring, even making some demonstration from time to time, and that they lived with their widowed mother. Everyone knew Eva as a patient woman who visited the school more that any other parent because her children fought each other in an unhealthy way. They arrived there ten years ago after an accident in their old house were a fire destroyed it; this let the woman some scars, but they looked like they did not hurt.

As it was their last year, Dante and Vergil’s teacher was asking their pupils about their plans after finishing school and none of them knew what to do. So, after school, while they were going back home, a nice house her mother got when they got there, they talked about it.

-I would like to travel -Vergil said-. Get more powerful, physical and mentally. I know father did it, too. I’d like to find more about him and his ways.

-I would like to become stronger, too, but I’m not sure about the travelling thing. Mother always tells us how father helped people getting ride of demons and other type of monsters; I think I like that idea. Anyway, it’s something we are already doing, but maybe add cities near this, or going to others on request.

-So… you’ll travel in the end.

Dante realized his brother was right and laughed.

The keep walking, chatting, when they saw a group of boys surrounding a girl. The looked menacing, but the girl did not seem scared. After some words they did not understand, one of the boys tried to grab the girl, but, with a fast move, the girl hit him in the face, and the boy staggered. Both brothers looked at her, impressed, and did not do anything to help her until they say she was being overpowered.

-Need some help, little lady? -Dante asked with a big smile while taking one of the boys by the neck and throwing him away.

Vergil was not so flashy, so he just gave a fast blow into another’s stomach, making him fall on his knees. Seeing those tall and strong guys knocking their friends like that made the rest flee.

-I had them, I didn’t need your help! -They heard the girl say.

-We know -Vergil told her-, but they were in the way and we are in a hurry.

-Yeah! Mum’s waiting; she promised to treat us to something if we behave -Dante added, dreamy-. Pizza and strawberry Sunday!

The girl looked at them as if some crazy people crossed her way. She was petite, with short hair and heterochromatic eyes, and she wore their school uniform; she must have been one or two years younger, as they did not recognized her from their grade.

-Take care, little lady -Dante said when they continued walking-. See you around school!

The did not see it, but the girl stood right where she was until they disappeared around a corner of the street and, after kicking one of the boys in the ground, she left the place, fuming.

***

When the boys arrived home, they found their mother finishing her chores. They had enough to live thanks to their mother’s savings before moving and their father’s inheritance, but not enough for house service, so they shared the chores: she did cooking and light cleaning while the boys did groceries, laundry and all the things which needed a strong arm.

-How was school today? Did you behave as promised? -She asked while leaving the apron she was wearing on the kitchen counter.

-Yes, mother -Vergil answered-. We had a conversation with our houseroom teacher about what we want to do after we finish school.

-Yes! And they said they are pleased we don’t fight on the playground any more -Dante added, proudly-. Oh, and we saved a schoolmate on our way home.

-You did? -Eva worried.

-Don’t worry, mother -Vergil tried to calm her-. Some hooligans were bullying her and we knocked one out so the rest fled.

-Yeah, yeah, no bone broken, we promise.

-We could saw she was the one who broke the bone -Vergil added with an amused smile.

-Oh, yes, it was great!

Vergil and Dante told her mother what just happened with the girl they met and helped, and how she punched, and surely broke, the nose of a guy a head taller than her. Eva listened with delight as she was not used to her boys speaking about other people with so much interest and glee. That little lady, as Dante called her, must be a fighter if her boys only helped as a last resort.

***

-Mary, is that you? -Kalina asked when she heard the door open.

-Yes, mum -the girl answered.

-How was school today? -She kissed her daughter in the cheek.

-Ok, I guess…

-You don’t see too happy…

-They tried to pick a fight again on my way home.

-Oh, no, did they hurt you? -Kalina knew some boys in the neighbourhood bullied her daughter from time to time due her father being a little too excentric and because the girl inherited his father’s heterochromatic eyes.

-No… These… weird guys at school, the twins with the white hair, appeared and helped me.

Kalina had heard about the twins. Well, every parent had heard about them, not only because their unusual hair colour, but because the had become famous for fighting each other in any place they saw fit until they bleed. The rest of the time, they were known as good student with good grades and well behaved around anyone. But it made Kalina worry anyway.

-They just hit a couple of guys and the rest fled.

-A couple? How many boys were there this time?

-Like six?

-Six? Oh, dear, I’ll talk with your father and we’ll do something about it.

-Ok, mum. I’m going to my room; I have homework.

Kalina brushed her daughter’s hair and let her go. She went direct to her room, but crossed his father’s library.

-Hi, dad, I’m home.

-Are you alright, my girl? -He asked when she saw her sulking-. Bullies again?

-Aha…

-Don’t worry, papa is going to take care of them.

-Thanks, dad…

She left to her room with a sigh; her parents already tried speaking with the bullies parents, but it was useless. Her only hope was getting stronger and beating them herself.

--------------------

#devil may cry #dante devil may cry #vergil devil may cry #au #alternate universe #fanfic

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qr-lpil · 1 year ago

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monoma (high school au!)

for the longest time monoma was the main reason you'd try to avoid going to school. he spent every school day tormenting and making fun of you. and when you'd cry he'd give you that same smirk.

it's the first day of junior year and you walk into your first period class. there he was, as expected, sitting in the seat right next to yours. this happened every year without fail. no matter where you turned he was always there.

one thing about you is that you hated your eyes. you had heterochromia, meaning two different colored eyes. growing up your parents taught you to love it and for the longest time you did. until monoma showed up. he was the staple of perfection. blonde hair. blue eyes. he was just perfect. and to him? you were the farthest thing from.

for years he tormented you. finding new ways to insult your eyes and slowly chip away at whatever confidence you had in them. for years he made you feel like less than you are. and for years you'd let him. you'd let him make you cry and laugh at you. but you were done. you were so done. you'd promised yourself when school ended last year that you wouldn't let him get to you anymore.

so when he insulted you, you didn't respond. you didn't even acknowledge him. you figured he would get bored after not getting the reaction he wanted. but no. he went harder on you. saying things like how the ugliness of your eyes were a reflection on the ugliness of your soul. and how your parents did nothing but lie about your beauty and their love for you.

despite the promise you made to yourself you cried. you let him get to you. you didn't want him to know though. so you left the classroom, not caring about the looks your classmates had given you or your teachers demands for you to return to your seat.

when you left the room you didn't have any specific location in mind. you just needed to get out. you ended up in a deserted classroom. it was empty. quiet. and with that in mind you sat at a desk and you cried. harder than you ever had in a while. you didn't know why his words had hurt so much, but they did.

after some time you heard someone walking into the classroom. you figured your teacher would send someone in after you. you looked up to see who it was, only to be met by monoma. he pulled you out of your seat and he held you by your waist. he used a hand to squeeze your face and force you to look at him.

"you make the cutest faces when you're sad or angry with me. but this," he whispered, his voice laced with mockery "this one is my favorite."

he smiled at you once more before leaning down to kiss your tears. this action flipped a switch and immediately turned your sadness into to anger. you were in shock, who does that? who thinks they have that right? he hurt you. he shattered your heart. and then he had the audacity to show you affection.

you pushed him away from you. you slapped him. something you'd never done before. you yelled at him. and you cried. he made you you feel so many things at once. from the day you met he made you feel so many things.

unsurprisingly he found your outburst funny. he gave you a pitiful look before laughing at you like he always did. he pulled you in for a hug and he stroked your hair. he shushed you and called you cute. it made you blush.

there was always a messed up part of you that loved the attention he gave you. some messed up part that loved when he kissed your tears away. you hated that part of you. it made you sick. but you couldn't deny it. you knew you liked him.

he liked you too, everyone knew it. he showed his affection to you in a twisted way but it was still there. "you know i like you. you know i don't mean what i say.." he cooed, still holding you close.

you gripped his shirt. and you nodded. he leaned down to kiss your forehead sweetly. it made you smile slightly. "now that we're alone.. we should make things official, yes?" he said softly.

you nodded and nothing more. that was all he needed. honestly it was all. you guys stayed there for the remainder of class. and that was it.

#mha #monoma neito #monoma x reader

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keruimi · 1 year ago

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Doubting Her Beauty

Pairing: Shirabu Kenjirou x reader

Warning: Angst and Comfort

Note: I made this in a rush before I forget this idea so forgive me if he went out of character. I'll try to fix it tomorrow. Hope you all enjoy!

_____________________________

"Shirabu, your name has gotten famous around the campus again" I heard Reon spoke as I took a drink from my bottle after a brutal training of 8am to 6pm for the upcoming Interhigh.

"Well, Y/n mentioned his name for the third time today, didn't she?" Semi followed suit as I just sighed after hearing her name.

Katsumi Y/n, a long-time admirer of mine ever since we became classmates in our first year of junior high school.

She is a very beautiful woman, no denying that. She was always the school's contender for fashion contests and she mostly won the crown.

A woman who should have a higher standard in men, started to like me for a reason I never knew.

She just like me, that's all.

I can't even count how many times she has confessed to me with the help of her friends.

The confession that became the root of most of the school boy's hatred to me.

One of the reasons why I always hear rumors or dislikes of me.

"Semi deserves the setter position more"

"He has looks but comparing it to the school's countless heartthrob, don't you think he's too average"

"The world is too nice to him"

Those were the words I always hear but none of it really affected me unless I heard it from the person who they thought I hurted.

Semi did show how he is not happy with me taking his position, but he never bad-mouthed me like they did.

And I knew myself better than those students. So I never really cared how many bashers or haters came in my way.

In other words too, I could careless about Y/n's love for me.

Since she already knew how I felt. Love is not my thing and it's her choice if she will continue to pursue me or quit.

And she chose to try swooning my heart. It's laughable on how obvious their envy is, they think I'm turning to be a prideful person because she chose me over many men who like her.

But the truth is, the problem is never me in the first place. It was their jealousy.

One of the obvious reasons why Y/n chose to love me.

I would never stoop that low just to ruin somebody.

Her feeling was the reason why I never degraded myself for anything.

But those reasons never made me love her, but just an appreciation because she showed me too that someone can look at me the same way she did.

Someone can love a person like me.

"Shirabu"

I heard Taichi calling for me and that made me look up to him and saw him glancing at the gym doors, reminding me of the usual routine ever since she entered my life.

I nod before making my way there and saw her carrying a basket of snacks.

She was humming when I arrived before she greeted me the moment our gaze met.

She lent me the small basket along with papers I decided to read.

"I wrote down the lessons that you have missed. I just hope it's not that messy" she said followed by a chuckle as she clasped both of her hands together.

"You don't need to" I muttered before taking the things she brought for me.

"Let me, this is the only thing I thought I could help you with"

A beauty queen with a heart that is hard to read.

Including myself with one of the popular kids is quite a dangerous game to play.

I would never know whether I'm their next target or victim.

Those thoughts were created because I don't trust her.

Not even one bit. No matter how nice she is. No matter how much she shows how special I am.

Because everything feels like it's not reality when I'm talking to her.

She was too good to be true.

I was wary of her, one of the reasons why I can't return her feelings for me no matter how many men wanted me to.

I just don't know her well...

"Thank you again Y/n. I need to head back now, Break ends in a minute" I didn't prolong our conversation more and immediately closed the gym doors when I saw her nod in understanding.

"Eat well, Shirabu!"

Those were the last things I heard from her before I returned back to the bench, along with placing the small basket in the seat.

"I can't see why you can't return those feelings" Tendou exclaimed while muching on the muffins she bought for me as I sighed.

This is a question that I always need to hear everyday, worse, every hour or even minutes.

"I just can't"

"Then are you planning to reject her?"

"Already did"

"Then she is indeed persistent. Do you see yourself loving her even one bit?"

Questions after another, its never ending once begins.

Especially if Tendou is the one asking. No matter how much he enjoys seeing others in pain, that sadistic side of his only applies in the court.

Because the truth was he is the type of person who wants love and recognition from others, so maybe seeing Y/n never giving up on me seems to move his heart a little.

"Do you start to like her, even just one bit?" He repeated his question again in a different word that made me look at him.

"No"

"No?" I don't know if he's playing with me with his shock reaction or plain pure reaction from my answer which he should have expected in the first place.

"What?" I ask him so he can elaborate his reaction better, so I can at least understand what's so shocking about my answer.

"No? Not 'never'? Means there's a chance you would grow feelings for her right?"

I was taken back from his statement that made me bombarded my mind with different thoughts.

"I can't predict the future, right?" Those words left my mouth without further thinking as I heard him laugh.

Since who really know what fate lined up for me after all?

Her constant visit never stops unless she has an upcoming pageant.

Her loss of presence never bothered me much but my teammates constant loud gossiping, especially Tendou who leads those childish actions, did.

But somehow I'm thankful that he's constant nagging never fails me to remind me of her presence.

That's the only way left to show my appreciation to her for being supportive of me.

I cared, but it was never love on my part. Until that constant denying made me look at her like a sister.

Which I know is so wrong in her part when she saw me as a partner.

I sighed in annoyance after the awarding for qualifying for the interhigh tournament. My sigh caught the attention of my teammates.

"Oh someone is sad that their number one fan didn't show up?" Tendou started as I shook my head in denial.

"That's not it"

For real.

The reason why I'm so annoyed was because I'm confused of one thing.

I'm confused because I can't understand my feelings for her.

Others might think that I shouldn't think much about it since I don't love her and I already rejected her.

But damn, I really cared about other people's feelings too. Because I knew how hard it is when all their efforts go in vain.

I don't want to be the reason of someone else's tears.

It was already heavy when Semi decided to hid his from the eyes of others.

The more I think of her, the more I feel like I'm going crazy from thinking how to make it less painful.

I can't tolerate another heartbreak because I entered the picture.

But who would understand when I, myself is having a hard time.

I don't love her...

Until that night happened, a week after getting the ticket to the Nationals.

The late night that I saw her leaning on the gym walls, waiting for me.

Looking so lost like she didn't even hear me.

"Y/n? Why are you still here this late?" I didn't wait for her own greetings and just directly got to the point since the atmosphere is already cold now that the moon is shining brightly above us.

Especially when she has a home to return at, since she doesn't live in the school's dormitory like me.

"You're finally here" I barely got to hear her when she let it out in a murmur.

"Would you mind accompanying me to dinner?" She finally decided to ask me that made me glance at my wrist to look at my watch and saw it was already near 10 at night.

Dinner, at this hour?

Those were the words I wanted to ask her but decided not to and just let her lead the way to a restaurant where she wants to eat.

Walking behind her, I saw how her body, who was already thin, seems to be thinner.

I glance at the back of her head, contemplating whether to ask her or just let it be.

Since it feels like she just wants someone to accompany her right now.

We arrive at a restaurant and that's the only time she looks back at me to ask if we can be in one of the private rooms where there are tatami floors.

And again, I didn't question further.

The entire room is silent as I didn't bother speaking up first. A few minutes later, the food finally arrived and I saw how the table seemed to be almost full.

I thanked the waiter before we prayed for the food.

"Don't mind my appetite right now" she started with a small smile before I nod and just gave her some chopsticks.

I just watched her eat as I didn't bother taking food for myself since I already ate a while ago.

"Congratulations for still being the Top 2 from the pageant" I started and saw how her lips lifted in a small smile.

"Right..." She breathlessly whispered as she let down the food she was about to eat.

"That was already good enough"

"Right?"

Her question surprised me as I saw how tears build up on her eyes.

"Of course it is" that's the time I decided to put my entire attention on her.

I didn't know my voice could be softer than before. Especially when talking to a lady.

"Then why..." She trailed off as she prevented herself from letting her tears escape from her eyes.

"Why does it seem like it's not?" That's the first time she properly looks me in the eye like she is asking me.

"Why did she hate me for it? Why did it seem like I didn't even try in the first place?"

I didn't find the right words to tell her as I let her rant her feelings out.

This is the first time I would get to see who she truly was.

"Why does it feel like the whole world hates me for losing?" She sobbed out as tears finally left her eyes.

"Blessed with beauty but never fated to be with genuine people"

"Why is the world so cruel to me?"

I felt my hand move on its record as my fingers gently wiped the tears that started to stain her cheeks.

"How can you say that?" I gently asked her, my composure finally broke when the girl who boldly declared her love for me...

Is breaking in front of me.

"My mother scolded me for not winning the pageant. She told me I should have already gotten used to it because of my consecutive wins. But I messed up at this one" she exclaimed as I retrieve my hand so she can wipe her own tears.

"She told me that I focused too much on seducing you that I forgot my role in our world. Yet it's hard to say that I only do those things for you because you are letting me to" she lowered her head as her sobs never stop.

"The only person who let me express my own feelings without judging me. That person I could run to even if there's nothing between the two of us."

I silently listened to her words and can't even admit that I doubted her actions for me.

Am I wrong for it?

"You have friends. You can run to them, seek the comfort and assurance you need" My words seem to hit something on her as she just started laughing with the hint of bitterness present on it.

"Friends? You meant those people who laughed behind my back because I failed?" She focused her gaze on me and I saw the pain on it that made my chest tighten.

"The same friends who spread rumors behind my back then act like they are defending me?" She laughed before wiping her tears.

"The same people who stood beside me just to see me fail" she cried as her smile finally disappeared from her lips as I just looked at her figure.

I stood up before I decided to sit beside her so I could offer my shoulder to her which she gladly leaned on as she gazed at the moon through the window of the room.

"It is so tiring pretending to be happy" she whispered as I looked at her.

"How can I know that if someone is genuine towards me? Someone who would be happy just being with who I truly am?"

She ask while looking far away. Completely clueless on who are the true friends.

And I can't suppressed the ache in my chest seeing how she look so lost in this world.

Why didn't the world treat her right?

"When those people start to appreciate who you are, the 'you' who is already enough. Take care of you, assure you, support you, and accept you" I continued as I felt her lean more in my shoulder that made me put my hand on the side of her head so she won't fall.

"Do I deserve that?"

Her question almost broke the soft part in me that made me clench my eyes shut before letting out a sigh.

"No person should be deprived of that"

Silence surrounds both of our presence as I felt her touch my hand.

"Did you find those right ones? Where you feel like you belong?"

"I did" I told her as I remembered the volleyball team. Even though we are not close like the other teams, the team still makes me contented.

"What does Shirabu think of me" she finally asked me the question I can't answer.

Especially when I am one of the people who doubted her, judge her. The only difference between me and those people was I never treated her wrong.

But does that make me the right person to be with her right now?

"I won't blame you if you doubted my feelings" she spoke up before she decided to finally face the table, as she properly wiped her tears.

"In this world, finding a genuine person is really difficult" she lifted a small smile before turning her to look at me.

"But I really like you. At this moment, I feel like I admire you more" she took a hold of her chopstick and began playing with the food that was on her plate.

"Why?" I asked her and her smile grew more than I really saw how genuine her happiness is right now.

"Because you accompany me. Agree with my invitation without further thinking because you know I needed someone with me." Her tone was full of contentment as she looked down.

"I am glad that you are the man I fell in love with"

My heart warmed at her words and unknowingly, a small smile lifted from my lips.

Right now, being with her doesn't feel wrong at all.

Somehow, I felt glad that I was the first person she ran to. Even though there is no connection between the two of us, other than her feelings.

Right now I feel like it's okay to finally stop denying. Stop making excuses that became a hindrance to my feelings for her.

I see her more than an admirer. I see her as a woman who chose to love me, even without seeing the good side of me.

Even if I'm not giving any effort yet, she chose to cherish me.

I didn't notice the way I looked at her with a small smile on my lips as I watched her eat to her heart's desire.

I guess it's my turn to treat her right.

Because she chose to love me.

And I'm confident...

That I can treat her better than anyone else.

#haikyū!!#haikyuu #haikyuu anime #hq x y/n #hq anime #hq x reader #hq #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu shiratorizawa #shirabu kenjirou #hq shirabu #shirabu x reader #shirabu kenjirou x reader #haikyuu shirabu #Spotify

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