#maybe I’ll try to queue some stuff up today idk

[whumpacabra]

No details because I don’t wanna dox my hometown/my extended family but. Been busy with an irl case of abuse and captivity that’s been rough on me personally. I’ll be back to regularly posting soon after April assuming all goes well.

[fatratinatophat]

Hiatus update, the future of the blog, and my plans for summer (For the blog obviously

“Wow Crumb I’m so glad you’re telling us this I missed you so much, I missed your art” said nobody but whatever, here

There’s a TLDR at the bottom if you don’t wanna listen to me yap.

So I’ve been on hiatus for a while, mainly because I’ve been sick and thus not at school and we just had April vacation, and I draw most of my art during my classes not at home so I haven’t been drawing. This hiatus SHOULD end soon, I’m currently drawing things I want to draw right now, but I WILL KEEP MY PROMISE of my first update being a New Craft page, I’m just getting back into the swing of things and finding the motivation to do so. But I need to talk about something else first:

If you haven’t noticed I’ve had like 0 motivation to do any art things for a long time

The constant hiatuses and lack of NC updates aren’t random, it’s because I dread drawing them. And I believe I’ve figured out why: The fucking schedule. I’ve noticed every time while drawing today that I end up rushing through and drawing stuff I don’t particularly want to just to fill my stupid quota and get my stupid drawings done to shove them in my queue. The result is rushed art, lack of experimentation and thus things getting stale, and dreading having to do it so taking breaks. Also the barrage of boring, transparent background bs.

This also causes a lack of notes, especially for some reason after DW became trending I’ve seen to become a bit less popular for whatever reason, getting less notes per post. NC seems to be the only thing that gets me good notes (Other than that stupid fucking Goob post I did forever ago I spent like maybe 10 minutes on that blew up, that’s STILL getting notes) and do I even have to mention any posts with my ocs on it that aren’t sketch pages that also include DW ocs, that get like- less than 10 every time.

So uh yeah not much motivation and an unhappy Crumb, but I’m here for solutions not to bitch. So, I’m NO LONGER going to have an upload schedule for my art. I’ll try and upload once weekly at least but I’m sick of rushing on everything. I’m also going to try and stop making posts with no backgrounds and just one or two characters standing around (Ironic cause I’m drawing another one but that’s more for study than to make something peak) I will however continue to do my asks that have been sitting in my inbox since LAST FUCKING YEAR (I’m slow as HELL, also all my recents have been One Forsaken request and daily fucking Gaza posts from someone I suspect to be a bot since they’re always on anon???) so that won’t change

But yeah, that’s for the general blog but now we need Crumb lore.

So, for the past 18 years of my life, every summer, I either hardly draw at all or DO NOT AT ALL for the entire few months. It helps me basically “reset” and be able to more easily dump the stuff I don’t like about my art. This has never been an issue before this cause I’ve never had actual fans and more than like 10 followers that aren’t friends before now (Insane how much I’ve grown in one year)

So the summer uploads are a bit iffy but I have 2 ideas:

-Upload nothing all summer, reblog some posts here and there to show I’m alive and return once I start college or sumn

-Upload less frequently and use the break to be REALLY experimental with things, I’ve also been toying with the idea of making a comic surrounding some of my ocs and then would be the perfect time to plan it and make it IF I DO, I dunno what I’d do and if I’m ready yet so it’s unlikely

No I’m not asking what I should do I’m saying what I could

I’ll decide later what I want I guess and of course give you guys a heads up what I’m gonna do once that time runs around. I have like a month left of school and maybe I’ll get into a rhythm and wanna keep going idk. We’ll all have to see.

Also, I WILL FINISH FUCKING NC BEFORE I DO THAT. I will upload them one after a fucking nother if I have to I want this stupid comic off of me, I’ll explain why once I’m done with it. Also chapter 2 is cancelled.

Also my Discord server is basically dead (Died after I had One Palworld hyperfixation) and I think most of them all lost interest in DW so if you guys wanna join please do I’m lonely there’s like 3 people who actually talk now help

But yeah I think I’m done. I bet like maybe 3 people read this entire thing. Anyways time for your TLDR:

-I have zip motivation for anything lately I’m trying to fix it

-I WILL BE MAKING THAT NC PAGE

-NO MORE UPLOAD SCHEDULE, it’s killing me. I’ll try uploading once weekly but don’t count on it

-I’ll try stopping the boring no background one guy standing there posts and make my posts more interesting and dynamic

-I may stop posting art over the summer, may be more experimental and upload less, might even make an oc-based comic idk

-Before I go on my summer hiatus/low uploads, I will finish New Craft, also chapter 2’s cancelled

Ok I’m done my head hurts ow

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

So I hear that the symptoms of coronavirus include interest in making virtual visits of museums, apparently. Here are some museum websites that can fulfill your thirst for virtually-visitable art. The asterisk means I have been there. This is by no means an exhaustive list. I don’t even know why I am doing this.

- Pinacoteca di Brera - Milan *

Brera is the art academy of Milan and the most iconic museum, which contains Italian artworks from the renaissance to modernity including various masterpieces. I also recommend visiting it in person because the neighborhood of Brera is the art district of Milan and it’s really pretty although having lunch there in slightly overpriced, but then what isn’t (really if you are in Milan skip the touristy food places, have Chinese or Japanese, trust me). There’s also a lovely little botanical garden tended to by the botany students. Long story short when you come to Italy visit Milan instead of overcrowding Venice.

- Museo del Novecento - Milan *

This is a stunning exhibition and you also should go there (it’s in Piazza Duomo you can’t miss it) but in the meanwhile visit the website, that contains a selection of masterpieces. They opened a few years ago and it was free to visit for a while as a gift to Italian people, which was really nice of them. It’s not expensive now either and it contains a lot of works by very important artists of the XX century so it’s very worth it.

- Museo Poldi Pezzoli - Milan

Can you believe I’ve never been there? But there’s a lot of stuff in there. The website is not complete yet apparently, but there’s already some interesting things already, including little Japanese sculptures that now I want to go and see.

- Pinacoteca Ambrosiana - Milan

Leonardo, Botticelli, Caravaggio, Raffaello, Tiziano... they’re also digitalizing ancient manuscripts, and there’s also a fuckton of drawings and manuscripts by Leonardo. [Everybody liked that.] I fucking need to go there.

- MAUTO (Museo dell’Automobile) - Turin *

Guys. This is so fucking cool. “But I don’t like cars” you might say. Yeah, me neither. But the ancient cars are so fascinating. If I remember correctly there are also things such as the driving license of the first ever woman in Italy to get a driving license. Visiting the real place is better because the halls are very well done so if you happen to be in Turin drop by.

- Museo Egizio - Turin *

Listen this is the biggest Egyptian museum outside of Egypt and it’s awesome, although the site is sort of confusing but I’m pretty sure there are digitalized resources so if you’re into ancient Egypt try it. Right now the museum contains a temporary exhibition called Archeologia Invisibile (invisible archaeology) and it’s possible to make a virtual tour of the exhibition which is really cool. It focuses on methods and techniques used to study mummies and other kinds of artifacts. Just click on the link and you’re yeeted inside the exhibition.

- Musei Reali - Turin

Actually a group of museums, there’s an online catalogue. There’s a museum of antiquity, modern paintings, even the royal armory (armeria reale). Yeah there’s swords. You can study the blade now.

- Palazzo Madama - Turin

An array of Italian art through centuries.

- GAM - Turin

The gallery of modern art. Weird stuff. Memeable.

- MAO - Turin

Sick of Italian art? Yeah, understandable. Then it’s time for the museum of Asian art! Stuff from all around Asia, from the Middle East to Southeastern Asia. I want to go there. Let me go there, virus.

(Palazzo Madama, GAO and MAO also offer virtual tours with Google Arts and Culture but idk how that works. Links here, under “scopri”.)

- Galleria degli Uffizi - Florence *

The Uffizi Gallery is the quintessential Italian art museum and you really want to check it out. If you visit it in person, make a booking, queues are infinite. (People with disabilities skip the queues in all these museums though, if you are disabled and intimidated by these places with superqueues don’t be, just approach the personnel and you have the right to just get in.)

- Galleria dell’Accademia - Florence *

You might have heard of a lil statue called David by Michelangelo. Yeah, it’s there. But there’s also other things, although since the David is so famous no one really cares about those. Give them some love.

- Actually there’s an online catalogue of most museums in Florence, several of which sound super interesting, but it says they’re having technical problems and the picture don’t load. Maybe save the link, forget about it, and then after some time discover it again, idk. Or consider visiting Florence in person after the coronavirus goes away, I guess. Do yourself a favor and save up and get a real Florentine steak.

- Gallerie dell’Accademia - Venice

I have been in Venice for half a day and just a little tip: you (or someone that travels with you) are in a wheelchair? Consider making a plan for visiting Venice that includes this: go in fact somewhere else. In the meanwhile visit this site, although I can’t figure out how to turn it into English, but I’m sure you can handle a little Italian.

- MUVE - Venice

Actually it’s possible to make a virtual tour of various museums/palaces in Venice with the Google Arts and Culture project, which sounds great. You figure out how it works, the link should explain. I’ll do it myself one of these days.

- Peggy Guggenheim - Venice

XX century artworks, including some by the most famous artists like Picasso, Magritte, Dalí, Kandinsky etc etc.

- Musei Vaticani - Rome *

Did I call the Uffizi the quintessential Italian art museum? I stand by it, but. I mean. The Vatican Museums, you know? It’s a place you should visit at least once in your life. All of Rome actually. They say it’s too big and chaotic but don’t listen to them, listen to me, you must visit Rome when you can. Ask someone for tips on where to eat that is not a tourist trap, and you’re fine.

- Musei Capitolini and all the civic museums - Rome (at the top of the page, click on “all the museums” and you see a whole list, for each museum you can visit the collection)

All collections online, by rooms or subject. The Musei Capitolini is the main museum in Rome except the Vatican, but I also recommend the Centrale Montemartini which is a collection of ancient artifacts located in a repurposed thermoelectric center, which must be fascinating to see in person. I’m planning on visiting it the next time I’m in Rome. (I’ve only been twice, briefly, okay.)

- Museo Ebraico - Rome

It’s located by the Tempio Maggiore, in the neighborhood that was the Jewish ghetto in Rome. There are many other Jewish museums in Italy but I have been right outside this one. It was closed though.

- Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Moderna e Contemporanea - Rome

Apparently the largest gallery of contemporary art in the galaxy or something. Worth checking out I think.

- Galleria Nazionale Barberini Corsini - Rome

This contains some super famous paintings, by Caravaggio and others.

(There’s like 285375 museums in Rome I can’t check all the websites but I’m pretty sure I checked the major art ones.)

- Museo della Resistenza - Bologna

Feeling like nurturing your antifascist spirit today? Good.

- Museo Archeologico Nazionale - Naples

Good pictures, very interesting stuff. Statues, mosaics, epigraphs, and so on.

- Museo di Capodimonte - Naples

Very interesting although I don’t think you can browse the site in English. Then again it’s mostly pictures, so.

There’s literally a billion museums in this country and some have very confusing websites which are giving me a headache so I’ll stop here.

A few outside of Italy I can recommend:

- Archaeological Museum - Athens *

I was there and we had a slightly eccentric guide and it was very interesting.

- Museo del Prado - Madrid *

Physically, it’s huge and the halls are numbered in a confusing way that forces you to back and forth and by the end we were exhausted. Maybe online it’s less vexing...

- Museo Thyssen - Madrid *

I loved this museum. Loads of famous artists and interesting stuff.

- Museo Reina Sofía - Madrid *

Yeah we had a lot of time to visit museums in Madrid. This is where the Guernica painting is, you might have heard of it.

- Musée d’Orsay - Paris *

Awesome museum, they have those in Paris, what can you do. I haven’t visited the Louvre because we didn’t have the time, but it also offers an online tour.

- National Gallery - London *

Lots of Italian artworks, actually, and more.

- British Museum - London *

Well, there’s everything from everywhere, because of reasons.

Okay I mean there’s plenty of hyper-famous museums with online resources and you can find them just as much as I can find them, so. Have fun.

[oliverwoodmarrymepls]

I posted 2,323 times in 2021

817 posts created (35%)

1506 posts reblogged (65%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.8 posts.

I added 1,652 tags in 2021

#sarah the one who hates the muppets - 376 posts

#monique my dialogue dealer - 336 posts

#jess shut up - 281 posts

#zoya the wonderful human - 176 posts

#queue seem star shaped <3 - 117 posts

#erin my fellow football men hater - 101 posts

#lena my bestie who i’m in love with - 97 posts

#jess’ 100 celebration <3 - 74 posts

#taja <3 - 55 posts

#anon <3 - 39 posts

Longest Tag: 92 characters

#not being able to go watch gorillaz song machine tomorrow has actually sent me over the edge

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

wow wow wow what?? so i don’t know how there’s 100 of you but thank you very much. i love you all. literally all i do is talk about oliver wood, so thank you for putting up with it <3

about me !!

as this is my first celebration, i obviously had to do a britney spears theme - she is my queen after all <3 send in as many asks as you want, you don’t even have to be following.

CLOSED !! ily all thank you for participating <3

oh when it comes to what characters and stuff, anyone from hp is fine, i don’t know many marvel characters well so maybe try to avoid them, and i like friends so maybe some characters from that? idk <3

i’m shit scared that no one is gonna interact PLS

🎀hit me baby one more time : song ratings (send me a song and i’ll rate it, and i’ll give you a song i think you’ll like)

🌷oops…i did it again : ships (send me a few facts about yourself and i’ll ship you with a character from harry potter - please specify gender and era)

💄toxic : fmk (send me three characters and i’ll say whether i’d fuck, marry or kill them, or any fmk variant if you want to shake things up)

🌺womanizer : cym (give me things to cast my mutuals as)

🦩criminal : mini playlist (give me a character and i’ll give you some songs that remind me of them)

👠if u seek amy : !moots only! (send me this emoji and i’ll give you a song that reminds me of you)

👅gimme more : headcanons (give me a character and i’ll give you a random hc - specify sfw or nsfw)

my wonderful wonderful moots who i love so very much:

73 notes • Posted 2021-08-21 15:19:37 GMT

#4

damon albarn

singing ‘Country House’ on Top of the Pops (1995)

88 notes • Posted 2021-10-28 02:01:22 GMT

#3

Contentment in Stolen Jerseys

Oliver Wood x gn!reader

Warnings: swearing (like one word), reader being kind of awkward, just comfy fluff <3

Prompts:

“You could stay here, tonight. For as long as you'd like.”

Your lover is resting their head on your lap, falling asleep whilst you are playing with their hair.

You are wearing your lover’s clothes when they say, “Can I get my shirt/hoodie back?” and you say “No.” or “Come and get it.”.

a/n: this is for @heloisedaphnebrightmore’s 3.5k writing challenge!! it took me forever to write and it’s a little on the short side but here it is — and for the sake of the fic, there’s a sofa in your dorm, lucky you

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

With Oliver’s head situated in your lap, you felt calm. You always felt at peace with Oliver. The two of you were in your dorm; You sat at one end of the sofa while Oliver was sprawled out across the rest of it, his head resting sweetly on your lap. Mindlessly, you ran your fingers through his soft brown hair, causing the boy to slowly drift off.

“So how was practice earlier? You didn’t say,” You decided to break the silence, the comfortable silence, and pull him from his dreamy state.

“Good! I reckon the team have finally sorted themselves out- finally taken my brilliant advice,” You giggled at his casual self-confidence. You found the boasting that caused everyone else to roll their eyes oddly charming. “Bloody freezing today though,” He added, getting a mere hum in response from you. “Shame I couldn’t find my jersey,” He remarked, opening his eyes just in time to see your own eyes widen.

“Shit! I didn’t realise—”

“It’s okay,” He chuckled, cutting you off, “I’m happy to suffer in the freezing cold for you any day.” He looked up at you through his eyelashes innocently, a faint smirk etched on his lips. “Only if you keep playing with my hair like that, it’s nice,”

You took his remark as a prompt to continue idly twirling his hair around your fingers, watching as his eyes gently close; His former smirk seemed to disappear, a content look painted his face instead. You studied his features. His effortless beauty was bewildering. He managed to take your breath away even when he was just resting. A small smile made it’s way onto your face as you traced his eyebrows, watching Oliver relax under your touch. You simply allowed the comfortable silence to fill the room; His presence was more than enough for you.

His eyes fluttered open for just a second as he glanced at the window. “S’pose I’ll have to get going soon, aye,” he sighs, noticing the sunset. As beautiful as it may be, it always disappointed him; Anything that forced him away from you couldn’t really be that beautiful, could it? You take a second to reply.

“Or, you could stay here, tonight?” You suggest, “-for as long as you’d like.” Your voice came out as more of a mumble. Truthfully, you hadn’t expected to say it at all; You felt your cheeks heat up as the feeling of embarrassment and awkwardness crept up on you.

Oliver’s eyes shot open. “Really?” he spluttered, sitting up to look at you properly. A wave of relief washed over you as you saw the corners of Oliver’s mouth turn upwards into a smile. Though you could still feel your cheeks burning, at least the awkward feeling had subsided.

“Yes, really!” You giggled, “if you want to, that is.” You barely had time to finish that thought before Oliver had launched himself forward, his lips meeting yours.

He broke the kiss seconds after. “Of course I want to, I’ve been waiting for you to ask,” he breathed, a clear smile on his face. It wasn’t his usual cocky ‘I win, I’m better than you’ grin, either; There was a soft genuine smile on his face, the kind that said “I’m so lucky to have you” without him saying anything at all.

His face inches away from yours, he briefly looked down at your jersey-clad chest before bringing his eyes back up to meet yours. “Could I, by any chance, get that back?” He queried. You thought about it for a moment before replying.

“Not a chance,” You answered. It was your turn to host the smirk.

“You little-“ You cut him off by pulling him into another kiss, overwhelmed by the pure feeling of your relationship taking the next step.

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

Thank you @velvetcloxds for reading it and inspiring the title <33

and here is your requested tag @sheraayasher you wonderful human

89 notes • Posted 2021-11-07 11:02:24 GMT

#2

👅 oliver teaching you the rules of quidditch with salt and pepper shakers and whatever else there’s on the table. (Not sure if this is enough to write a headcanon. If u don’t like it, don’t worry about it, I can either send you something else or you can just discard it)

i literally adore the thought of this and i got a bit carried away with it and wrote something even though i’ve never written anything here before so enjoy please

@velvetcloxds i’m coming for your crown i’m joking never stop writing me dialogues please

“me? play quidditch?!” you scoff at the boy’s absurd suggestion.

“yeah! it would be fun to play together, don’t you think?” he replied, slightly confused by your reaction.

“i’ve never even picked up a broom, let alone read the rules or how to play,” he stared at you in complete shock, baffled at how someone could live their life not knowing how to play. it didn’t take him long to shake away the shock.

“well then,” he started, sliding both of your plates along the table, “we can start with the rules,” he quickly scrambled some items together; two forks, a salt shaker, a pepper shaker, a candle stick and a grape sat in front of you.

“i don’t remember seeing a candlestick on a quidditch pitch,” you remarked, rather sceptically, as you picked it up to inspect.

“this-“ he huffed slightly as he took it from you, “-is our goal actually.” he placed it front of you both as he placed the salt and pepper shakers down, one in front of the candle and one just in front of him. he paired the shakers with a fork each.

“okay..so if that’s the goal, then these-“ you pointed to one of the shakers.

“-are our players, granted there’s usually seven, but two will do to teach you a little” he finished your sentence, reaching to pick up the grape. “and here is our quaffle,”

“that’s the main one, right?” you queried, trying your best to show you had some understanding of the game. he smiled at your attempt at contributing.

“why, you don’t need me at all do you?” he leaned over to kiss your forehead, “you’re my little quidditch expert already,”

join in on the fun! <3

93 notes • Posted 2021-08-24 09:15:13 GMT

#1

Hey can you make one where reader and Oliver are together and the twins just teasing them

hello lovely anon! of course i can, but bare with me please, writing is hard

i hope you like it, sorry it took me so long <3

Oliver took his place next to you in the great hall, kissing your temple softly as he sat down. “Good practice?” You inquired as he took your hand in his own. He simply hummed in response before continuing. “I missed you though,” He added, leaning forward to trap your lips in a gentle kiss.

You giggled as he pulled away, both of you unable to wipe the smiles from your faces. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Fred queried, leaning into his twin. “I’d say so,” George replied, the same childish grin plastered on both of their faces. “Captain’s whipped!” they exclaimed as they chuckled. Oliver rolled his eyes, though his grip on your hand didn’t loosen, as he shifted slightly to face the pair. “I’ll have you know that I am not ‘whipped’ as you say.” He stated, quickly turning back to you.

“You know I don’t mean that though, right?” He whispered as he leaned into you, squeezing your hand ever so slightly as he worried that you may have take offence to his statement. Clearly he hadn’t whispered as quietly as intended since you could hear two familiar giggles echoing behind Oliver. You were the one to roll your eyes, this time, as you peered around the Scot.

“Have you got a problem with two people in love?” You asked bluntly, glaring at the twins, only getting a mere snicker from Fred. “Awww, you hear that Freddie? They’re in loooove,” George replied with a mocking tone, ignoring your question.

don’t mind me just tagging the lovely monique @velvetcloxds

150 notes • Posted 2021-09-12 06:32:34 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[uncertaininnit]

who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck. 

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED. 

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty. 

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does. 

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must. 

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile. 

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile. 

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice. 

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy. 

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM. 

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy. 

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

[mollydollyjournals]

Its Thursday 1st July and I hit post limit so all I can do is update this post

I just want to drink til i pass out

9:46pm - oh when did i post this? Doesnt matter i guess. It really annoys me that the daily post limit applies to all blogs you have. I have 2 and i follow a lot of NSF- stuff so i have so much in my queue for my other blog, and i tend to post more immediately for that so i dont end up with a massive backlog, but thaats when i hit the limit. Whatever it is. I basically just wish i could set the queue to post more often when i have more there. Just post every 15mins or whatever and it'd go through quicker without me having to do it myself

Idk it doesnt matter i guess. Im still just venting all my bullshit here that i cant put anywhere else. But now is when i need it. I want interaction and company but i dont want to bother anyone and I dont know what to do with it. I dont have it in me to try to be a person right now. Tumblr is for messy. At least thats how i do.

But once you hit post limit it apparently doesnt even let you delete stuff to post anything else. I havent been here in years really so i totally forgot. Plus it could have been different anyway. Idk. Guess i will just drink until i disintegrate or something

10:20pm - it just makes me feel worse. I know theres a reason for post limit and its not the end of the world. Just it doesnt reset til 5am and I'll be asleep by then which means for the rest of today i cant actually say anything, and that kinda fucks with my derealisation/depersonalisation/whatever it is. I need acknowledgement to feel real. I need people to remind me that i exist. Even just a little. Its stupid and insecure but i do. Everything is worse since covid and being stuck in a house with someone who barely acknowledges my existence. I feel like a ghost. I feel netter at least a little temporarily if someone just sees and acknowledges me. And currently i can't do anything about that. Nobody is going to go to my page(s) and see whats up, its not that kind of thing. Even if it was they still wouldnt. I put on my other social media fucking ages ago that i was really struggling, then i disappeared, and it took days for it to get noticed at all. Then only 3 people acknowledged it. People have their own lives and there are algorithms etc so i cant be angry at them, but the end result is i still feel really alone.

I often feel like i want to just talk to people. Only a select few. Its not that i necessarily need to talk about "deep" stuff, but i need to know that i could if i needed to. Or if we just both happened to be in that mood at the same time. Like how i dont wanna talk about something totally innocent and generic with someone who turns out to be racist or whatever.

I dont know. Maybe i do need to talk some shit through right now. Doesnt matter either way. Ill most likely just be back to this post later to say more about how i dont really feel like being alive.

10:39pm - I hate that im like this. I dont know if its reasonable or not. I used to be someone who wantes so much space. I still dont feel like i want to always be around people. I must have some individuality somewhere. But i cant find it. Since the pandemic hit especially, it just highlighted everything ive been missing and trying to supplement. I need things to change. But i dont have a hope of doing so while i feel like this. Im so lost. Ive spent my life trying to be confident in myself and ive run my reserves dry. I so rarely get any help topping up. I fucking hate the whole Strong Black Woman trope. Im tired. Ive carried my family since I was 13 and romantic partners have expected me to carry them too. I need to be held and comforted. I need support. If nothing else i need to just be acknowledged. I dont feel like a person. Im invisible and inaudible so much of the time and apparently that only changes when someone wants to see or hear me. When do i get to be a person in my own right? When does someone actually see or hear me for who i am and care about my existence regardless of what it does for them

10:54pm - its the worst of my mental health, tbh, that i dont feel like its worth trying anything if its not going to be acknowledged and welcomed by anyone else. Existing included. I feel my worst and most suicidal when i cant have anyone remember that i exist. Because maybe i dont. Maybe people dont miss me or think of me unless theyre reminded for some specific reason. And i say these things because i want to be proved wrong but why would anyone.

I want to cut. I hate this stupid post limit. I could have at least distracted myself by reblogging stuff for a bit. Im still spiralling. I need a distraction and there isnt one and there wont be one and if i even get through tonight itll just be another reminder that in the end im alone

11:24pm - something feels particularly cruel about not being able to post here, even if i delete stuff. Its just an app sure but its the closest thing i have to therapy. I came back here specifically because i was struggling posting on my regular social media and having people not pay any attention. I thought id make a fresh anonymous account where i could vent and my shitty brain couldnt take it personally if nobody acknowledged it. Now i just have all that shit going round my head and nowhere to put it. Im right back where i started. Nobody will read this. If they do they wont care. If by some chance they did they'll be put off by me being so negative.

"One day someone will hug you so tight all tour broken pieces will fit back together" yeah sure. Whatever.

[going-full-shmoo]

i’m all up in my petey feels tonight 😫😫 if you could write anything cute with him I would appreciate you to the ends of the earth

Hun, I’m always in my Petey feels. Idk how it happened. It just did. I understand completely.

REQUEST HERE

when you looked outside and saw snow, you knew it was going to be a nice evening to stay inside

the entire city was covered in the stuff, so you were not about to try and go outside to do anything

you were right in the middle of making yourself a hot cup of tea when you heard a knock at your apartment door

you groaned, thinking it was one of your friends trying to get you out to go do something

but, when you opened the door, you saw your neighbor, Elias

the two of you had met right after he had moved in because he had introduced himself, and asked you to make sure nothing happened to his apartment while he was away

now, he was standing in front of your door, completely encased in blankets

“Elias, are you okay?”

“Its snowing outside, my apartment is cold, and my plans were cancelled. May I stay with you for a bit?

“What happened to your heater?”

“Its not working. I tried calling the landlord, but he wasn’t answering. Plus, no one can get here because of the snow.”

“...Fine. Come on in. I’ll make you some tea”

he thanked you profusely as he scampered into your warm apartment with a look of relief on his face

you saw him curl up on your couch as you brought the hot mug of coffee out to him

“So,” you sat down next to him “What do you wanna do?”

“...I don’t know, I didn’t think I would get this far...”

“Well...what did you have planned for today?”

“I was going to go out with some teammates. See the sights for the holidays. That stuff”

“Ah...well you aren’t missing much. They usually shut all that down when the snow gets really bad...”

both of you took long, awkward sips of your coffee, not really knowing what to do next

“Well...I have a ton of wrapping to do, and some shows I gotta catch up on. Would you...maybe...like to help me?

“Sure. Its the least I could do”

you nodded and put your coffee cup on the table, going to the back room where all your unwrapped gifts were thrown about

you started bringing them out as you saw Elias bring up your queue of shows on the TV, playing the first one that popped up

the two of you sat there on the couch, wrapping gifts and sharing comments on the show you were watching

every now and again the two of you would share stories or something funny that happened to you recently

once you had finished wrapping, you sighed in relief

“Thank you for your help. Couldn’t have gotten this done without you”

“Like I said, it was the least I could do” he started before his phone went off

you heard him mutter a few things before hanging up

“that was the landlord. He said he couldn’t come out to fix my heater until tomorrow...”

“I guess you’re stuck here then” you smiled

you don’t know why this made you so happy, or why a shy smile started to appear on his face too

the two of you ended up back on the couch, this time sitting a little bit closer than you had before

“We’ve never really hung out like this before, just the two of us, have we?” he asked you, to which you responded by shaking your head ‘no’

“I guess we’ve never had the time”

“...we should do this more often, right?” 

“Yes, we should” 

“It’s a date”

the two of you clinked mugs, and went back to your show in peace, content smiles on both your faces

you don’t know how it happened, but the two of you ended up falling asleep together on the couch

your head rested on his chest, and your legs were tangled together 

it was one of the best nights of sleep you had gotten in a while

and even though you knew it might be a little awkward in the morning, you knew that this wouldn’t be the last time

but for now, you would enjoy the moment, and prepare yourself for a bright future ahead

(this was, admittedly, not my best, but I tried!)

[buns-is-sinning]

9, 11, and 24 for BNHA Asks uwu

THIS WILL BE THE ONLY ASK I'LL GET SO IMMA GO ALL OUT!!

9. Character you wish to see more of.

Gosh . There's a lot cuz I'm ADDICTED.

Present Mic : Honestly he just makes me so happy and excited every time he appears. I no joke i go <gasp "It's Present Mic!"> Every god damn time.

He isn't super rare to see or anything but i just miss him and the lighthearted feeling.

All of Class 1-B !!! : Their descriptions and designs are so intriguing I just wanna get to know em better u.u

Shinsou : As everyone I just eat him up every time I see him in official stuff.

His concept is working really really well in the world of bnha. I want to know more about his background story and how he's currently developing. All i want is to see him in 1-A one day.

Ms.Joke : I ship her with Aizawa still and you can't stop me. I want to see her Aizawa and Eri . I wrote a Post about this actually 😂

FatGum : Basically the same thing as Mic but he also just gives me like ... A save feeling?

Idk it's dumb . shush >.>

Crimson Riot : We got to see him through Kiris eyes but not really his actual self. On one hand i feel like we don't necessarily need that other view but every time i see an old panel i just think of wanting to know more about him and his story. 🤷🏻

Gunhead : Are you kidding me !? He's a big softy and adorable. He was super charismatic with ocha ! Again just miss him and wanna see more

Nana : Ik ik she's supposed to be kinda 'mysterious' , 'otherworldly' , 'far away' but i feel like me wanting to know more really just shows Hori did an amazing job.

Burnin : She cute - BAM!

Stain : I wanna see his reaction to what's going on now w the LoV , Dabis words etc. Just him in this current area *queue to Ethan/h3h3 saying "I would love to see leafy comeback and try to exist in the landscape today"*

I want to see the reaction to him being back by the league just that concept.

Curator : cool concept i think he was in an anime intro or when someone was talking about the older villain legends . He looks cool . I really really really want to know more about the older villains and their history!

Spinner & Mr.Compress : MORE CONTENT HORI. MORE BACKSTORY . MORE DEEP SHIT. MORE INNER THOUGHTS. MOOOORRREEE.

Mustard : He's literally a middle school student in prison. Most likely for a long time. What the fuck? Tomu save him plz! He babi! He child! Protecc! I want to know how he ended up in the league that young ? How did he get known so much that he'd get recommend/acknowledged? Family situation? Bonding w the league bc bg story bs ? Just more.

Geten : He cool. He icy. . .I don't like ice actually. It hurts.

I like his interactions w Dabi. I like what we know about him so far . I wanna see Dabi and him more together and learning from each other just by being around. He is super sympathetic.

Giga : HOW THE FUCK DID HE MEET AFO!?!? Why does he have this relationship with him?? Rejected first adoption? Is he like always giant? Could he at some point be smol and now he's stuck because of psychological shiz ? More.

PUBLIC SAFETY COMMISSION PRESIDENT :

I WANT TO SEE HER DEAD.

11. Any moments or scenes you could watch over and over again.

• Tomura chopping off Overhauls forearms/hands : Need i say more?

• All Might vs Deku and Bakugou : HILARIOUS

• Everything else is basically in the yt compilations

I can't think of anything else from the top of my head.

24. Is there a character that a lot of others like, but you don’t, or vice versa?

Miruko : I have made so many posts about this. Yes she's hot , yes she has a cool character design and i definitely haven't downloaded nsfw art of her . She's genuinely a terrible person tho .

If you like her it's fine i definitely won't judge you . I can't blame ya, she hot.

Melissa Shield : ANNOYING MARY SUE. I get so aggravated when i see her cuz i couldn't finish the movie bc of her . only 20/30 something minutes in idk.

Everyone else i could maybe mention is just uninteresting and i don't feel negative about them .

[ettaseverythingelse]

Life Update - 7/1/2020

So it’s been a hot minute since I’ve actually made an original post on here, and I recently looked at my blog stats and this blog hit 200 followers?! Wow! Thank you guys so much! I don’t talk with you very often, which is a shame because I’m sure you’re all such lovely people, but I see you and I appreciate the interactions we do have, and thank you for being here. Don’t be afraid to reach out and tell me what sort of stuff you’d like to see on this blog moving foward. I’d love to chat with some other students even when school is out! :) 

So if you’re reading this, then (allegedly) you’re here for Proper Studyblr Content and I owe you a pretty big update because wow it’s already July, we’re halfway through 2020 y’all.  This is going under a cut because it got long lol, read at your own discretion. 

Since school ended, I’ve been living my best life and tackling the 10293283920 creative projects that were on the back burner during the semester, including carving dulcimer hammers, hitting 90k words in my novel, learning how to draw, planting an apocalypse vegetable garden, and doing a bunch of other stuff. It’s been an incredibly productive couple of months and I’ve been so busy doing Stuff that I honestly forgot I had a blog with which to document the Stuff. 

Whoops.

On the studying front, I’ve not done much in the way of STEM stuff, but I have been diligently working on my Italian practice and as of today I have a 172 day streak on Duolingo (wooo). I’ve been working at the pool in the meantime to get it cleaned up from the winter, but at the end of the week, I’m starting a Real Deal Chemical Engineering Internship which is super exciting! I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to talk about that, but I’m really happy that I have the chance to get experience in a lab, especially as a rising sophomore, when COVID cancelled most of my friend’s internship opportunities. I’m incredibly blessed to have this chance, and I can’t wait to make the best of it! :D

I also hit the one year anniversery of me joining tumblr! (or almost, about, idk the actual day I joined). When I first started with my main blog @ettawritesnstudies, it was supposed to be half writeblr half studyblr, and then I made this blog later when it became too hard to manage the balance between the two, and then I made a fandom blog like two weeks ago, but that’s beside the point. It’s been a year since I joined the studyblr community (in however small a part) and I’ve really enjoyed my time here so far! What started as me looking up Italian study tips on my breaks between lifeguarding has turned into such a great place to go for help and advice and motivation and I’m glad I’m here ^_^

Moving foward on this blog, I want to be a little more active, and I’ve got a lot planned! I realized I haven’t done a monthly goals update since April so I have two of those going up soon! I've been writing my bujo, but I haven’t done any sort of decorating or fancy spreads in it so I want to update that today and share some pictures of that. I have photos of all my art stuff that I share sporadically so I might try to put up more of that because I am teaching myself and that counts as Educational Content. I also have the queue running with study tips, I’m going to try to set up some #aesthetic photoshoots around my house, and maybe I’ll do a reading recap?

If you made it to the end of this post, then thank you so much for reading! Again, feel free to leave any suggestions for what you want to see on this blog in the comments/asks. I hope you’re all doing well and staying healthy. :) <3

-Etta

[sippin-on-red-wine]

No. 6 Collaborations Project: A review!

It’s been a week since this fabulous album has dropped into our hands. Click “Keep reading to hear my thoughts on each track!

Track 1. Beautiful People Khalid ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You look stunning dear/So don’t ask that question here

Thoughts/Reflection: Ed keeps referring to this song as ‘cozy’ and I completely agree. The vibe is cool. I love the tone of his voice here and I think it meshes really nicely with Khalid’s. The content isn’t super relatable, but I think we can all take something away from this one. It’s a good note on self-awareness and being able to see the reality in things that may look glamorous on the surface. 

-

Track 2. South of the Border feat. Camila Cabello, Cardi B ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So join me in this bed that I’m in/Push up on me and sweat darlin’/So I’m gonna put my time in/Won’t stop until the angels sing

Thoughts/Reflection: This track is literally freaking scorching hot fire. TBH I’m surprised that they led the album with IDC and not this one. It feels like big radio potential to me. Regardless, this song is an absolute BOP - so catchy and so fucking sexy. 

I know Ed’s Spanish leaves something to be desired ☺ But I feel like we can cut him some slack after singing (yet another) song dedicated to going down on a woman. The ginger is forgiven! Five stars for him! And I’m going to have SOTB on repeat all summer (or for the rest of my life).

Oh, I also really like Cardi on this song. IDK if she’s problematic or w/e, I don’t really follow her in the media at all. But her verse is fun. (I think Ed got a lil jungle fever AY) bahahahah

-

Track 3. Cross Me feat. Chance the Rapper, PnB Rock ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Know she gonna slide anytime you bitches talk shit/Keep a lil blade in her fuckin’ lip gloss kit 

Thoughts/Reflection: Love love love LOVE this one. It just makes you want to get up and DANCE the damn thing! I have to laugh a little at the thought of Ed being hard & tough, lol, but it’s a cool concept nonetheless. Like he said in his Charlemagne interview, it’s kind of a love song…. but a different tempo. It’s catchy as all hell and Chance’s verse is fucking cool. 

Full points. 

-

Track 4. Take Me Back to London feat. Stormzy ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Coz you can win BRITS (it don’t stop)/And you can do Glasto (headline slot)

Thoughts/Reflection: Fuck. This song, though. IIt’s the first one that jumped out at me when I did my first full album listen. And I haven’t stopped listening since. The chorus is so syncopated. Stormzy is sick on this track, I love his voice so much. And it just feels like the two of them really play off each other nicely and probably had a blast making this song. 

Also, Ed flexing “Grossed half a billi on the Divide tour/No I’m not kidding what would I lie for” is BDE and I’m personally really here for it.

This song is a banger and you should dance in your kitchen to it while baking pastries. FIve stars for you, Big Mike and Teddy.

(Dear God please let Stormzy guest live in Ipswich)

-

Track 5. Best Part of Me feat. YEBBA ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: it’s not a lyric but that part when Ed & YEBBA are harmonizing perfectly in the whoooaaAAaaaA 

Thoughts/Reflection: I love the sound on this song! His voice is so raw and tender here. It reminds me of Plus era, but grown up. I think it may be how delicately he approaches the syllables in his verse and the chorus. YEBBA’s tone is super rich and lovely, and they sound great together.

I’m taking a “star” off here because I don’t love the lyrics. I get that he’s being vulnerable and showing insecurities in verse 1, but then YEBBA follows that up with lamenting about misplacing things and being late for the train? It doesn’t seem to match up with admitting physical/bodily insecurities. Also, it could just be that I hate that Ed thinks of himself this way.

DUDE IS HOT AF

-

Track 6. I Don’t Care feat. Justin Bieber ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: I don’t like nobody but you/I hate everyone here

Thoughts/Reflection: Oh god. When did this song come out? I’m trying to think back to my first impressions of it, LOL. It’s bright and poppy and of course it went and stayed #1 all summer (thus far). I remember thinking it was so cool that the melody is super mainstream and upbeat, but the underlying theme is around social anxiety. “Crippled with anxiety/But I’m told I’m where I’m sposed to be” 

I mostly skip this one now that the full album is out, but I think I listened to it for a full 48 hours on repeat when it first dropped. Bieber is problematic and shit, and honestly I don’t think he adds much to the song. I really like Ed’s acoustic version where he does the whole thing solo.

The bridge slaps. Literally. I love that clapping bit behind it. I wish that Ed hadn’t fucked up the lyrics to the bridge in the acoustic version lolololol

Four stars, will bop along for many moons to come

-

Track 7. Antisocial feat. Travis Scott ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So antisocial but I don’t care/Don’t give a damn I’m gonna smoke here/Got a bottle in my hand bring more tho

Thoughts/Reflection: DID YOU SEE HIM GUEST AT TRAVIS’ SHOW LAST NIGHT? This song was already one of my faves but holy shit. In interviews, Ed talks a lot about feeling awkward on stage without a guitar - but it didn’t look like that last night. He was bouncy as all hell, sounded great, looked great. Looked like he was loving the crowd’s energy too.

And the music video? That deserves a post all on it’s own.

This track is pretty short but it’s packed with good stuff. Ed’s intro is really strong here, the chorus is interesting despite the repetition. I physically can’t help but groove along to this tune. I’m sorry. I have no say in the matter

-

Track 8. Remember the Name feat. Eminem, 50 Cent ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: 20 years old is when I came in the game/And now it's eight years on and you remember the name/And if you thought I was good, well, then I'm better today

Thoughts/Reflection: YES. YES. YES.  The song intros with a reference to Ipswich, bitch. I love how Ed makes those connections back to his upbringing.

It’s a little unreal that these three iconic voices/styles can flow so well on a song and still sound so balanced. 

I’ve got this one on repeat too. I’m determined to learn all of the words damnit!!

Five stars for a tune that I would love to see performed live someday.

-

Track 9. Feels feat. Young Thug, J Hus ★★★

Favorite Lyric: See you wigglin’, jigglin/If I have a bite will it taste like cinnamon?

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is fine. I like the feature verses. The song just doesn’t stick out that much for me.

-

Track 10. Put It All on Me feat. Ella Mai ★★★

Favorite Lyric: I try to be strong but I got demons/So can I lean on you?/I need a strong heart and a soft touch

Thoughts/Reflection: Falsetto. Falsetto everywhere. I love that! Ella Mai’s voice is so rich. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot more to say on this one. It’s not a song I’m playing on repeat, but I don’t skip it either.

-

Track 11. Nothing On You feat. Paulo Londra, Dave ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You and I/Whisky on ice/Maybe later we can turn down all the lights

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is SEXY and cool…. ‘smoke clouds and the scent of perfume’.... the imagery. Man. More falsetto here. Also, please go look up the translation of Paulo Londra’s verse. Thanks. I’m sweating. Is it hot in here? This album is *sexual* 

ALSO THE ‘BRRRP’ AFTER “they keep ringing my phone”  bahahahahah 

-

Track 12. I Don’t Want Your Money feat. H.E.R. ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I need you here for the good times and the bad times/Yeah the pullin’ out my hair gettin’ mad times/Not just the when I’m in your bed on my back times

Thoughts/Reflection: THIS IS SUCH A GODDAMN TUUUUNEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love this song so much. 10/10 jamming out to this in the car at every opportunity. Finger snappin’ cool r&b vibe. I love the super quick tempo (but not quite rap?) in Ed’s verses. And I always appreciate the little double-meaning-references in Ed’s songs - like ‘diamonds, silver or gold’ means $$$ of course, but also just success in terms of album sales performance.

TBH when I saw the title on Ed’s tracklist reveal, I totally thought this would be a slow mushy love song about how Ed’s lucky to have found someone who wasn’t into him for his money. This was a pleasant surprise!! I love that it’s a little angsty.

Five STARS bitch I love this song and y’all are sleeping on it

-

Track 13. 1000 Nights feat. Meek Mill, A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Birds eye view/Pay my dues/For a two-mile queue

Thoughts/Reflection: i been ON for a thousAND NIGHTSSSSS NEW YORK TO LONDONNN DIFFERENT CITY EVERY DAYAYYY

1000 Nights: a flexy bop and I love it

This song is about the Divide tour which has been going for approximately 572 years. Not that I’m complaining.

But it’s cool (how many times have I said ‘cool’ in this post? don’t answer that). Ed loves touring and that comes out in this song. And Meek’s verse is so fun to rap along to!

Four stars.

-

Track 14. Way To Break My Heart feat. Skrillex ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I can’t stop thinkin’ bout her/And her lips on mine, so soft/Feelings I don’t know the name of

Thoughts/Reflection: biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

This song is NOSTALGIC and I simply adore it. It has that same… “cozy” feel that Beautiful People does. Which is strange, considering it’s a song about heartbreak. But it’s just so. Soft. And warm. 

We’re back to super soft placement of words and such pure tone. 

It’s hauntingly beautiful. And yet uptempo! Bless, Skrillex. I especially love the drums that come in during the chorus, after “you’re still gone, and i’ll say”

PS, the soft sound of mouth smacking at :13. Use headphones.

Some of my favorite Ed songs are ones about heartbreak, and I appreciate that he included one here. About an imaginary heartbreak 👀

Take another five stars from me, bud

- Track 15. BLOW feat. Chris Stapleton, Bruno Mars ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Hot damn/Pop it like a pistol mama/You got me down on my knees/Baby please?

Thoughts/Reflection: *laughing nervously*

Again, definitely not what I expected out of this track when the titles were all revealed. I LOVED release day on this one. The world collectively lost their shit. I need nothing more in this world than to see this song performed live, especially with a full band and Ed on an electric guitar. 

I’m still not over this loud, full, energetic song full of men bellowing about wanting to, well, fuck.

Bye

(five stars from me and also my 62 year old coworker Jan)

:::OVERALL:::

This album is SO GOOD MATE and I already cannot wait until the next collabs project! Ed blessed us with 15 amazing tracks to tide us over until Subtract comes out. They’re so different from his normal album stuff and I really love to see him try new sounds and get to create/collaborate with artists he admires so much.

it also has me real hot and bothered lmao

Thanks for coming to my tEd talk.

[keychangc]

okay im home and im feeling. decent, so im going to make an attempt to catch up on drafts. i may try queueing finished stuff, idk. depends how much i finish.

i’ll be around for at least a few hours if any of my mutuals want to plot or ask for my disco or whatever.

edit: i also plan to do some things on @webquip, @powerduped, and maybe even @headlinehazards today/this weekend.

[softhaos]

ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS

fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr! 

i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.

in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu

now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.

@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!

@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY

@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu

@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence. 

@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu

@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!

@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)

@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE

@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu

@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-

@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu

@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33

@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)

@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu

@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT

@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)

@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu 

 @jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx

@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER

@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG

@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx

@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3

@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!

@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33

@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu

@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu

@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!

@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!

@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu

@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33

honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33

fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH 

sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj

none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry

[cloudtopcruise-blog]

my queue ran out so there won’t be any queue posts today but i’ll try to queue some stuff up soon! for now maybe expect the occasional like live reblog idk? i just wanted to post this so y’all know i’m still alive :0 

[prismboyz]

ok so im going to write about my concert experience just because i need to get everything out; no one is going to read this but i’ll just do it anyway :/

so we arrived at the wembley at around 4 and for some reason my entrance queue was really small so by the time i got in the stadium was still very empty

i was in section b1 in one of the middle rows on like the fourth chair closest to the stage so when i got in and saw how close the stage was to me i almost died right there kakkska

but then when the actual concert started i couldn’t really see much of the main stage because people are taller than me 🙃 so i had to watch the big screen instead of the actual stage

but anyway dionysus was so good!! it’s the perfect song to start off with and omg the choreo and the energy and the stage and everything!!! so powerful

and then not today which is probably one of the songs i was most excited about bc idk i just love it a lot and i’ve been waiting to see the choreo live for so long lmao and they came on the middle stage but because of the dancers i couldn’t see much as i was on the side of the stage

wings fucking ruined me mainly because i could see them really close and omg they are all so gorgeous? like they all look so good in pics and stuff but irl they’re just even more handsome and i died a little bit (hoseok really really looks so good like pictures don’t do him justice at all he fucking glows)

just dance was so cool and seeing him dance like that…. wow king; and then when we all started screaming his name and he took out his earpiece to hear and he was so cute :((( he was really happy and i wanted to go on stage and give him the biggest hug!!! i could feel the love from the audience so i hope he felt it too

i was not ready for euphoria at all, guk sounds angelic and i just love him so much :( he actually flew over me and he was all smiley and the cutest and i’m so soft :( but for some reason i felt like the song finished so quickly :(

best of me?? a bop

serendipity was so cool and cute and he was in his lil bubble and then there were lil bubbles everywhere and it was so pretty!! i love jimin’s dancing so much it’s so elegant and precise and wow when he pretty much took off his shirt i think i went deaf lmao and when he finished the song he had a little smile he looked super happy!! baby

namjoon has such a powerful aura i loved his outfit?? he’s really handsome 😔 he owned the stage and the stadium and london and the uk and the world and my heart tbh

i can barely remember boy with luv tbh :( i only remember taekook aksbkwns

then they spoke and they talked about howgarts and spells and they were so cute pls :( i never thought i’d hear shut up malfoy irl

next was dope which i didn’t even know they were going to perform skdjks and then baepsae???? i saw jungkook doing his t-things irl in front of me 😳blessed. fire was wksnens amazing the energy!!!! then idol was such a bop, would have loved to see the full choreo though! i’m a bit sad they didn’t perform the full songs, esp fire

ok then i actually died and came back to life multiple times during singularity oh!!! my!!!! god!!!! im even more sure now that taehyung is a demon what the fuck his expressions and his voice and everything was so good he looked unreal

i can only remember jungkook’s abs from fake love stage snekens the zoom the camera did on the second chorus wknsbe me as a cameraman

seesaw!!!! his stage looked so pretty with the city and the pretty colours and his outfit and min yoongi!!

epiphany was actually magical his vocals? unreal i can’t believe i didn’t die right there sknd the stage was so gorgeous and then the rain it was so perfect

i started getting actual tears in my eyes during the truth untold, they all were so amazing and when jungkook did his oohs at the end i actually felt his voice in my heart? i couldn’t even move i think that my video at some point just ends up being a jungkook fancam lmao

outro: tear was like bitch no time to cry so i just wksjdjnd rap line is so so so powerful + hoseok’s outfit? my end

mic drop and their outfits and the choreo and the dance break?? please end me im so sad i couldn’t see it from the front!!

again with anpanman i was on the side so i couldn’t see them go down the slide :( jk with his big black hoodie though :( i want to cuddle him

so what was amazing my video doesn’t even exist because i just jumped for the whole song

make it right :( their vocals :( idk even listening to them saying “i can make it better i can hold you tighter” in my room is too much so you can imagine what it did to my heart hearing it live :(

then they all did their final speech and omg jungkook’s english is really good it feels like it’s not just memorized but he’s actually trying on his own? and maybe it’s all memorized but idk i just think he improved so much!! they were so happy and i loved that we screamed their name for everyone! and then the whole young forever thing happened and i knew jk was going to cry :(( he really is the sweetest and seeing him cry made me cry as well and then jimin started crying too and everyone around me was crying and then hoseok cried too and kwnsbe my babies :( they looked so happy and grateful and just idk no one has such a deep relationship with their fandom like bts has with army, it’s so pure

i don’t think i’ll ever be able to listen to mikrokosmos again :/ i cried for the whole song because i knew they were leaving and when they went back to the main stage i was so sad :( and then i saw taehyung had watery eyes so i was like bitch no not you too :(((( and then they started going down and left and :(

i’ve never been so sad over a concert, it’s my first time actually crying during and after one and i’m still crying when i think about it two days later :(

im really happy to have been part of such a special night, i could feel that they are going to remember it 💓 bts has my whole heart and i wish i could give them the world, they really deserve it

this is actually half of the things i wanted to say but it’s so long skdnke im sorry i don’t know who to talk to lmao

[canaryatlaw]

So I’m currently sitting on a plane somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, typing this in the notes section of my phone. It’s 9 pm Chicago time where we left, and 3 am London time where we’re going. We have about 3 and a half hours left, getting in at like 6:30 am. I took my pills like half an hour ago so hopefully I’ll start getting tired soon, I kinda have to pee but I’m at the window seat and Jess and the guy in the aisle seat are asleep and I don’t want to wake them up....we’ll see I guess. At best I’m only getting a couple hours of sleep, but it’s better than nothing for sure.

So, today has been pretty wild. My alarm went off at 9:20 am and I got up, had a message from Jess asking if it was time for her to come over and I said sure, and brushed my teeth, and Jess was there a few minutes later. The goal of the morning was to get BTS concert tickets, even though neither of us particularly like them this is what Jess wanted to do so that was fine with me. I ordered us breakfast which came shortly afterwards. The tickets were supposed to go on sale at 10 am, which was the same time I was supposed to start a quick phone interview. So we had both laptops opened up to each of our Ticketmaster’s accounts and in the “pre-queue.” The deal was that the people in the pre-queue when it starts get assigned a randomized place in line, and if you come in after you go to the end. So it became 10 am and both laptops reported 2,000+ people in front of us, so we weren’t going anywhere fast. A few minutes later I got my phone call and stepped away.

It was just supposed to be a quick phone screening and then they would talk to their hiring people about who they wanted to bring in for an in person interview. I articulated last night how I felt I had decent enough experience to sell myself for the position but didn’t think it would be realistic for me to get it. Well, the phone screening went really well, I talked about my experience and what kinda work I want to do and it was really good! Maybe like 15 minutes after it ended I got another call from them saying they wanted me to come in for an in person interview next week, so we scheduled that and I’m very excited! Apparently they think I’m qualified enough, which I will take lol. But yes, that taken care of, back to the BTS tickets.

Over an hour with nothing, about 11:10 it still says 2,000+ but my progress bar is getting towards the end and it eventually progresses to 80 people in front and then 1, and finally brought me to the massive blow up of the field where you had to pick your seats. Jess got in shortly afterwards. It was already very widely picked over, and there must’ve been a ton of people in there with us because every time we’d click on two seats together it would say they were already taken and make us try to find different ones, over and over again, and I’m talking to the point where there was like, 10 open spots in the entire giant football stadium. And like, we tried and tried and tried, but it just wasn’t happening. The good news is that Jess’ coworker that stans BTS was able to get two floor seat tickets and is willing to take Jess with her, so she’ll get to live out her BTS dreams after all (and me who literally knows one BTS song will be just fine).

So after all of that was figured out, I changed quickly and we walked over to Walgreens so Jess could print some pictures (I think like ones people sent her to have celebs sign?) and I wanted to get a tiny bottle of spiky hair gel and a small thing of acne cream to take with me, and ended up grabbing a few snacks for the plane since we didn’t buy the inflight meals that were $45 each, per meal (yeah, no thank you). Jess went home after that to pack, and I went home and got the last of my things together and picked over my snacks and candy collection for what I wanted to bring with us.

A little after 1 I got a message from Jess saying she was ready, so I grabbed all of my stuff, said goodbye to my cat, and called an Uber, which came and got me and then got Jess and took us to the airport. We were getting there super fucking early (flight was at 5) because international flights and airports and you know all of that good stuff. We checked in very easily, and security wasn’t bad at all, so we progressed to the gate fairly quickly. And then of course we had time to kill. So we just sat for a while and just chilled out before deciding to go see what our food options were, which had us go partially down the one end of the terminal before remembering we already did this the last time we were in this terminal (it’s the international flights one but also currently houses Frontier so we’d been there before) and there was nothing, so we went back to the main food court area and ended up with some Mediterranean food that was quite good.

Once we finished eating we went to our actual gate, which was swarmed with people from two flights in adjacent gates, so we ended up sitting on the floor. We got slightly delayed in boarding but they said we’d still probably take off the same time. As luck would have it, the other flight was also to London, although a different airport and airline, but I had to go and make sure we were in the right place, lol. Somehow Jess started sending memes to people in the near vicinity who had their airdrops on in their phones which resulted in a lot of laughter as other people started sending things back (or turning off their airdrop 😂) and things got increasingly ridiculous and we ended up getting identified by at least two iPhone users because we were constantly bursting into laughter. So that was a fun little distraction.

We were of course in the last boarding group, because we are cheap(tm) but eventually we got called and made it onto the airplane. There’s a USB port thankfully, meaning we can keep our phones charged and not relying on our portable batteries, which is very good. They also have a screen set up where you can watch movies and such, much like the plane I took to London in 2014 (and at least two flights we’ve had in the last year). I discovered quickly that I managed to not pack my earbuds, which I was very pissed about, but when they were doing the passenger announcements they said they had headsets available for purchase for like $3 along with blankets and like drinks and food stuff, so once we got into the air I ordered earbuds along with two cokes which were brought to us shortly afterwards, which I was very happy about since my plan up to that point to watch Crazy Rich Asians on subtitles was less than thrilling so far. So I got the earbuds and actually listened to the rest of the movie (Jess had started it like ten minutes before me, so she was slightly ahead) so I watched that and I really liked it a lot! A very well done movie, and I really loved how much it was infused with Asian culture and was truly an Asian story, not an attempted one made my white people. So I liked that a lot. Once we finished that we flipped through the available movies/tv shows but very few of them had captions (which Jess wanted since one of her ears still isn’t fully working and she won’t go to the goddamn doctor about) so we ended up starting to watch teen titans go to the movies, but it was pretty awful so we turned it off about 15 minutes in and decided not to just stick to our phones for now. I had to fish my adapter out of my bag to charge my phone and listen to music at the same time (though I think it stopped charging a few minutes ago??? Idk weird) and I spent a little bit proofreading some fanfic before starting to write this, and now I am here. I’ll probably try to go to sleep now, we’re exactly 3 hours out at this point. I’ll post this once we get on the ground at 6:30 am London time, which will still be fairly night time in the US. So that’s what I’m gonna do now. Goodnight babes. Happy weekend.

** so it’s 4:51 pm British time and it just occurred to me I never posted this, so here ya go.

[mcgnussen]

i agree with your last post as a mick fan, im confused with how he's handling what happened in the sprint. he can have every right to be mad but why doesn't he just talk with kevin and the team after? how does he know that the team didn't mess things up and calling out kevin for what could be a miscommunication and a non issue isn't the right choice. idk, i just hope that this doesn't happen again and that he talks things over with the team (and especially kevin) to make things right. im hoping that this doesn't affect his relationship with the team and kevin bc you can tell how much they adore him, mick just needs to take a step back and fully realize that. sorry for the rant and long ask, im just frustrated bc i want to like mick and I want him and kevin to have a good relationship as teammates (since he finally has one that is talented and doesnt try to kill him on track lol) and his comments aren't it. maybe I'm naive about this but i hope things will get cleared up privately and also tomorrow with the media post race and the good and wholesome vibes between them will be back

(this isn't me hating on him btw, just disappointed with how today went)

i know i've said some harsh things, but i'm also not hating on mick. i think it's understandable he is frustrated - and he definitely deserve answers to why kevin did not slow down to try and keep him in the drs window. we know now that kevin was not told in time and that’s definitely on haas. although, i still believe kevin should not have slowed down because there was a risk hamilton would have overtaken them both, but kevin did not get to make that choice because it was just too late. so i definitely get that part of his frustration.

hopefully, he has a good talk with the team and with kevin. but i don’t hope this is the kind of behaviour we will start to see from him onwards. haas has had such good vibes, apart from their strategy blunders involving both drivers, and i’d really hate to see mick ruin that. i know people are like “yes bastard schumi is back” but mick is not good enough to have attitude yet. he cannot afford to alienate haas because i don’t see a queue of teams lining up to sign him. i know he is protected because he is a schumacher and ferrari really wants to see a schumacher in a red car, but carlos has a new contract and there won’t be a ferrari seat available until 2025. mick has to rely on other f1 teams for a seat until 2025 - otherwise he has no chance of getting that ferrari seat. and right now, the only teams with ferrari engines are haas and alfa romeo. developing an attitude of “me first” is not the way to secure a seat. and more importantly, kevin deserves more respect than that. like fine, be angry at the team and duke it out behind closed doors, that’s on mick, but i really hope he thinks about how his words affect kevin. i mean, honestly kevin probably doesn’t care, but i do think it will have a negative impact on their relationship if mick keeps this up. i mean, kevin and romain were friends, and kevin has admitted even they did not really share information about the car and set-up and stuff like that. so it’s something like that mick could easily lose if he goes around saying the stuff he has been saying. 

but i think this will be the last thing i say about this, i don’t really like being this disappointed and angry with a driver, so i’ll let it go now and we will see what happens in the race.