#midnight pub
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issue 2 of turboblack's zine
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#me if i were a cat rn#today i:#took a 6 hr train to london for an appointment that didnt happen#spent £6.95 on a pint of beer that a small child in the pub spilt on my lap (they got me another one though)#(they being the parents. not the small child.)#got yelled at in the toilets by a drunk girl and had to try to explain myself without just lifting my shirt#sat on the floor of my train to my nans (ongoing) and pretended not to hear the teenage boys debating what i am#(win: adams apple was the defining factor !!!!!)#then i got to sit on a chair finally and the train wobbled and the person next to me?#DRINK IN MY LAP !!! AGAIN !!!!#and now im sat in the corner waiting to reach my changeover station#but the train i need to get next?#DELAYED BY HALF AN HOUR !!!#which means no buses !!!!!! and my nan shall have to pick me up and i wont get a cheeky cig before she comes and OHHHH#OH THE HORRORS#OH THE HORROS OF TODAY 😖😖😖😖😖#and then tomorrow? back on trains back to scotland#and i get in at midnight tomorrow#and then work at 5:30am#RAHHHHH#SOMEBODY SEDATE ME !!!!!!#OH AND#MY WATER THAT I BOUGHT???#sparkling.#fucking horrible.#i didnt check the label.#someobody ACTUALLY bash my head in i beg#tiktok if you wanted to finish me off rn id let you#i would actually pay you to
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I had a fabulous day! 🥰
#had big birthday breakfast then gifts then cake#went for dinner with a group of friends#then to the pub#such good weather that we sat outside until almost midnight#i’m quite tired this morning 😄#it’s a bat’s life
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Midnight Oil - "Beds Are Burning" [x]
#Midnight Oil#midnightoiledit#Beds Are Burning#Peter Garrett#Robert Hirst#Jim Moginie#Peter Gifford#Martin Rotsey#rock#pub rock#Diesel and Dust#80's#80's music#my gifs
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today is the day.

#rugby#no one talk to me#no one look at me#whatever the outcome today#we have lost some of our strongest soldiers#and lets not even talk about WHOEVER WINS has to probably face my other home country :))))#BUT WE CAN STILL RIIIISEEEE NOW AND BE THE NATION AGAIN THAT STOOD AGAINST HIM AGAINST WHO#find me not even double parked in the pub not even triple parked but quadruple parked two tennents and two guinesses plz barkeep#anyway its past midnight here so this is valid y'all are gunna be sick of ME tomorrow cause kick off isn't until 8pm#also this is subjectively hILARIOUS#and took me too long to make
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hangover.
#we were pregaming at like 9#we walked to the club. realized it wasn’t open until 10:30. went to a random irish pub until then. went back to the club.#stayed past midnight. left the club bc the dj was mid. and went to a third bar that was nautical themed and had a country band playing#i do not remember exactly how much i drank but it was a lot#(circus music starts)
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a small list of things ive learned from reading historical romance:
origins of con artists & pub
a welsh term of endearment
#there are more but these are most recent#pub is short for public house????#i swear i was reading and this click for me was like 🤯🤯🤯#similar to when i found out about confidence artist but that was from a book last yr#learning things reading historical romance novels#it’s a good time#i’ve had a good day#it’s past midnight now LOL#I LOVE BOOKS!!!!!!!!!
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Beds Are Burning - Midnight Oil
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i stg if i have to watch doctor who at 1pm in the afternoon instead of 7pm in the afternoon i will be grumpy as hell and i will complan about it just as much as people have complained about the damn midnight viewings.
(i know this is not possible due to taxes / pub funding [which i actually am jealous of] bla bla im just sick of people complaining about a midnight air time as if thats not literally tv standard, i would happily trade with y'all but unfortunately our time zones are backwards)
#at this rate why not give the midnight viewing to those that like it (me; in the us) and back to the uk at what; 6?#but just give it to the us the like 8 hours before#turn the tides for once; let them see how it feels to have to wait to watch the blue box show#i know this is not possible due to taxes / pub funding (which i actually am jealous of)#im just sick of people complaining about a midnight air time as if thats not literally tv standard everywhere but there#i would happily trade with y'all but unfortunately our time zones are backwards#one day rating for international viewership will release and we'll see the shows getting more views outside than inside the uk#but unfortunately disney doesnt release those numbers so it wont be for like 20 years
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Amen (Hey, Men!) - G.S.
Synopsis. BIoodshed. BIoodIust. Vampires. It was no wonder you’d turn to the charming new priest in town during dark times like these…but Father Gojo seems to be interested in you in ways that are more than sinful. And there’s nothing holy about him, either.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem!reader, priest!Gojo, VAMPIRE AU, slight wild west AU, slight vioIence, reIigious themes, mentions of déath, slightly eerie, small town gossip, first times, oraI (fem rec.), he goes FÉRAL, fíngering, bíting, spítting, p sIapping, PÚSSYDRÚNK GOJO, mentioned bIood, matíng presses, size kínk, breaking furniture, D slipping, manhandIing, he’s BIG, tummy buIges, D piercing, dúmbifícation, squírting, marathons, fated ones, matíng marks, pet names, swéaring.
Word count. 12.0k
A/N. Tysmmm to the babygirls that voted on this poll <3

“H-help-” Words tremble weakly from your throat, drowning underneath the wailing wind. The storm was furious; forming iron walls of rain that blocked every dusty road and lane of your idle country town. “Please help-”
And your escape.
You thought you knew better than to trust the rumor mill. A few murmurs here, a hasty funeral with a closed casket there, and then two more exactly the same. It had everyone - from haunted elders at the local pub, to children on the playground - uttering only one word.
Vampire.
And then, you’d seen it- him.
Just the thought itself is enough to send your aching legs surging towards the nearest, faint yellow light on the midnight street. Safety. “H-he’s comin’ for me- please-”
Terrified to even turn your back, you race to bang your fists against the oak doorway of the building. For fear of seeing those eyes again - two glowing sapphires piercing at you from the dark. “He’s here-” Cold. Just like-
“Going somewhere, my angel?”
Lightning crashes against the sky. And you crash into his arms.
Staring right into the blue, blue eyes of Gojo Satoru.
Who else could it be?
That warm, handsome priest your age who’d taken it upon himself to renovate the dilapidated ol’ church of your town. It’d been forgotten for ages - and with it, the fear for what came after you were no longer upon this Earth.
Now you had both the recent string of deaths and Father Gojo to remind you.
And oh, were you reminded - it was hard to miss him. Especially in a town so small.
Golden cross always swinging in the middle of his dark black cassock, Bible always in large hands that you couldn’t look away from.
Perhaps it was sacrilegious, perhaps it was fleeting fancy- because there always was much to see.
From the broad shoulders filling out his holy robes, to the slight dimples that cratered his pale cheeks any time he grinned - at least you weren’t alone with your admiration. For it had only been a few weeks since Gojo had arrived, as quietly as if he’d simply parted the heavens and set foot here, and he was already starring in as much of your town’s gossip as the myth of the vampire was.
Well, a myth no longer, you’re realizing. And it’s enough to make your shivering fingertips clench-
Onto…a firm arm?
You blink, looking up only now to register that it wasn’t just any arm - it was Gojo’s arms. Heated. Strong. Around you.
The only thing holding your weight up right now, as your weakened legs made themselves useless.
And Gojo himself was peering down at you through his long, pale lashes. Close. Close enough that your wet-streaked cheeks bristle at his scorching breath, “My, you look like you’ve been face to face with the Reaper himself, beloved.” His rosy lips curl at the ends, slightly. “Or…worse.”
That makes you gasp- fighting in his grasp, you snap your head over your shoulder and stare into the darkness behind you. Just hoping it won’t stare back. “It- he- was f-following me- kept after me, wouldn’t let up-”
“Pardon?”
“The- the vampire!”
His eyes seem to flicker in the dim lighting, and Gojo speaks not a word. Just lets out what sounds like a short, sharp gasp- before tucking you deeper into his embrace.
And it would almost be scandalous, you knew. If it wasn’t for the rain then one of the neighbours might have peeked their head out, and by tomorrow afternoon the entire town would be ablaze with the news of the priest holding a rain-drenched woman outside the church itself.
But Gojo didn’t care if anyone would see, it seems.
Because he only tugs you tighter against his tense core once he feels you struggling, “There there, my angel. It must have been quite the fright, the Lord has surely tested your courage.”
“Oh, it was downright terrifying. One moment I was closing up my stall- ready to walk back home tonight, and the next thing I know I hear the crunch of a twig.”
Close. “Interesting.”
“He towered over me like a mountain- and just as cold. I-I think he was gunning for my blood next-”
Closer. “Real interesting.” So close that you could count each spike of grey in his irises, and every vibrato in his baritone voice. “No harm shall come to you whilst these holy walls and I stand, my darling. He shan’t lay a hand on you.” And then Gojo smiles, crooked and gleaming in the glowing candles from behind him. “Not a single hand.”
You seem to breathe out, for the first time in what feels like years. Simply held.
Simply ignoring the coil of something deep down in your stomach- you busy yourself with the frigid dig of something hard against your back, where his hands glided up n’ down soothingly. Like the corner of a book-
“Oh, heavens. I have forgotten myself.” Gojo starts, noticing the most minute shiver that runs down your spine.
In a singular, fluid motion, he’s breaking away to shut the heavy wooden doors and usher you inside- so fast that you half-heartedly wonder whether it may be spellwork. “Please, come in. Soak up some warmth in my office.”
“Th-thank you, Father.”
“Please. Call me by name.”
And you can’t help but follow.
Noticing the small, tattered book that was clutched in one of his hands - ah, that was what you’d been feeling on your skin. Guiltily, you think you must have interrupted him during his reading time…
As Gojo turns his back on you to lead you down the long, candle-lit hallway of the church, you can’t help but narrow your eyes at the tiny book swinging by his side. It didn’t look like his usual Bible-
“Ah, here.” You’re looking up to see Gojo dip his lengthy fingers into a side pocket within his dark robes. Almost melding with the shadows of the candles, it’s as if he’s pulling a long, stringed rosary from thin air. “Take my rosary. Let your faith guard you when I cannot, beloved.”
“O-oh, thank you again, Father-”
His dimple winks, “Satoru.”
“Right…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say it, even as he probes you with half-lidded eyes to do so. Instead, busying yourself by tugging on the incense-scented necklace, it weighs light ‘round your neck. And you can’t help but run your fingers over each bead- “I won’t forget this.”
And the very second your eyes flit up- you see him, Bible grasped in his hand like it always had been.
Strange, you quiver your head slightly, tonight must have shaken you up more than you thought for you to be seeing things that weren’t there.
Though, it should’ve been expected with how disorientingly massive the interior of the church was. Much too immense for such a town. You didn’t remember it being this grand before Gojo had arrived- far arches of the ceiling peered in with gargoyles, high stone walls carved with faint effigies.
Ahead of you, the pews were polished enough to act as mirrors. And as you turned left past the high place of worship down a corridor towards his office, you couldn’t help but feel like the building was swallowing you whole.
“Something the matter, my angel?” Gojo’s voice breaks through the cold silence, back still turned. “Still troubled by what the Lord has shown you?”
Clutching the delicate rosary, “It- it’s just…it wasn’t the vampire that spooked me.” You twist, and so does the string of beads in your hands. “But those eyes?”
“Yes–?”
“Hell rode in ‘em.”
The clap of thunder, the clash of dry prayer beads on polished stone.
It’s as if each degree of warmth bled by the candles blows out in a single gale of wind the very moment you say this.
Boring into your very soul, Gojo’s pale eyes are almost other-wordly as he turns. “Worry not, for no monster can enter through these holy walls, beloved.” Chuckling, and the rolling spheroids of his now-shattered rosary sing as he steps past them.
A tall, shadowed figure leading you into the dark.
“Except humans, of course.”
.
.
.
“Sugar-–! The finest sugar from the East-”
“Boots half-off���!”
“-get yerself velvet-”
The market was always alive, despite everything. A bustling, breathing thing lined with snug stalls upon either side of a dust-track road. And you were stationed at your fruit stall, as usual, as if you hadn’t damn near been the lucky fourth on a long list of closed caskets.
Shuddering, your fingers tighten on the wooden panel where you’d lined your plethora of fruits.
Eyes darting towards the melting yolk sun warming your skin- right, it was still light out. The elders whispered that vampires feared the day - and so you were safe. For now. You had to make sure to pack up as soon as the others did, no more idling around tonight.
“My my, isn’t that Father Gojo- oh, what a sight for sore eyes he is.” Your head turns at the coo of the bookseller’s young daughter, Miwa, her stall right next to yours.
And it didn’t take long for you to see what she was talking about- not long at all for you to nearly want to fluster, too.
Because there was Gojo Satoru - even in the distance, he was two heads taller than anyone else. With his stark ivory locks catching the daylight, tight cassock snug against his waist and fluttering ever-so-slightly as he weaved through the flea market, the calling pedlars.
“Oh, Father Gojo- I hear he built that dingy ol’ church right up with his bare hands-”
“I know he’s gotten nearly twenty-seven proposals by the wealthiest families, but guess what? Rejected ‘em all!”
“And that purity ring, oh, a true man of the holy script. Why, forget their daughters, I would have proposed myself- oh, but don’t tell my husband.”
The whispers made you squirm for some strange reason. It was a hasty retreat from the church last night after a brief bout of warming tea in his office, lest someone caught you and thought something else. And you didn’t expect to see him so soon; least of all have his fiery blue eyes waft through each shabby stall as if he was drinking them in.
So close. Close enough that you couldn’t help but let out an dragged-out sigh-
“Oi. Oi! You deaf or somethin’- fuck’s sake.”
Oh. Shit.
“M-my apologies, sir-” You’re gasping, snapping your head to the front of your fruit display to find that you’d attracted the attention of none other than Zenin Naoya, sole heir of the house of Zenin merchants. As if your day couldn’t have been any more eventful.
Well, as long as he was a paying customer. Plastering a plastic smile across your face, you gesture towards the ripe red pomegranate held in his grip. “Want me to tally that up?”
Scoffing, “No not after that shoddy customer service. It’d be the last time I spend a dime in this dump.” He tilts his head defiantly, “What’s got yer eyes so occupied anyways-”
“Nothing-”
“Hehhh–?” And you’re appalled to see the way Naoya’s smile curls as he swivels his head the same direction you were looking in - one that half the market was surely turned to admire at this point.
The sight of priest Gojo Satoru bent in playful conversation with a little child, beaming.
“Sweet on that damn preacher, huh? Isn’t it a sin to watch him that close, sweetcheeks?”
You bristle, “I beg you not to say another blasphemous word-”
“Oh, I bet the gossips at the general store’d eat this little turn of events right up.” Naoya titters, pomegranate now rhythmically thrown up n’ down into the air to be caught. “Small town like this? News like that won’t stay quiet for long. Real shame, huh?”
Only one word and it wouldn’t just be you paying the price, it would be poor, undeserving Father Gojo as well. You stay quiet. You can only stay quiet.
More so to stop from snatching that pomegranate and slamming it straight into his sneering face.
But Naoya takes that as an opportunity to lean in- to let his tobacco scent cloud all over your face as he grumbles. “Unless, maybe you care to keep me company for one ni-”
“My darling, pray tell, did you know that the Greeks figured the pomegranate to be symbols of abundance and fertility?” A smooth, simpering voice cuts in- and so does a slender hand that stretches its pale fingertips to clasp the pomegranate in Naoya’s palm.
What? You’re blinking at rapid-fire speed, looking from the familiar newcomer to where you’d just been staring seconds prior - how was he here? So quickly? All of a sudden?
And Gojo doesn’t even let out a pant of fatigue as if he’d been running, only curving his lips into an icy smile down at the other man. “The Lord speaks through consumption. Planning to expand the family, mister Naoya?”
“I- you-” Naoya strangles out, he jabs. A finger right into the smiling face of Gojo, and then into the space between you two. “My ol’ man shall hear of this. See how holy you really are when you’re-”
Gojo grins, leaning down from his towering height as if he was speaking to a child. “He shall be welcome to find me. Sermons are on Sundays.”
“Tch-”
With one last glower, and a few more muttered words underneath his breath, you can only watch in speechless amusement as the seething man promptly turns his back and saunters away. Fast. Furious.
“You have saved me yet again.” You’re breathing out in relief, finally raising your head to look up and oh- did he look absolutely magnetic bathed in the blood-orange light of the setting sun. “How can I ever repay you?”
“I do beg your pardon, to defend your holy honor is the least I can do, beloved.” And you don’t know where to look - the dimples decorating Gojo’s cheeky grin, or the peripheral vision of Miwa beside you mouthing ‘beloved’ in shock.
But Gojo always does steal your attention away in the end, and the buzzing marketplace rings with the snap–! of his bare, neat nails cracking open the outer rind of the pomegranate.
Letting thin trails of crimson run down his wrist like blood, “I was not jesting about the Greeks and their belief of fertility.” You gulp as his pinkish tongue darts out just teasingly to run down a stray droplet of juice before it inched too close to his long sleeves. “Try it, my angel.”
Before you can say a word, one hand tucks his Bible, and the other holds a clump of bright, beaded pomegranate to your quivering lips.
And you swear you hear the bookseller gasp! when you gingerly take it into your mouth. Humming at the explosion of sweet, saccharine syrup. “I can see why- about the Greeks, I mean. Now, if only that snake Mahito didn’t swindle me of the price each time.”
“Hm, is that so?” He huffs out slightly deep laughter, sharing more fruit. “But this was no idle trip to the market today. Truth be told, I came, with earnest heart, to see you.”
“M-me?”
Unaware of the restlessness he’s seeping through your very veins, Gojo tucks a free hand between his Bible and pulls out a long, now-fixed rosary. The very same one you’d accidentally torn apart just the night before-
“It was to give you this.”
Your ears burn with the hushed, pointed whispers of the market as he reverently puts the necklace ‘round your neck. And the cold flowers of the pearly chain nearly sizzle against your skin. “O-oh, thank you, Father-”
“Satoru.” Gojo smiles. He nods.
He reaches over to hold one of your clasping hands, pressing his mouth against your pomegranate-stained fingertips. In an instant. Red, red juice drips from the ends of your digits and stains his lips scarlet - almost in a kiss.
Oh.
He taps the nearby book stall in goodbye, “Until next time, my darling. Have a blessed day.”
With that - and nothing more - as swiftly, and as quietly as he’d arrived, Gojo Satoru was disappearing back into the thronged crowd. Cross on his chest, Bible in hand.
And you barely register the giddy whispers of Miwa- all but gripping your shoulders and jostling you back and forth at the excitement of coming across the most scandalous piece of gossip to hit this town since the vampires.
Hissing feverishly, “-way he cast his eyes upon you and- and how long has this been going on?”
“I uh-” At this point she was shaking you, much to the amusement of passersby. Monotone, “Don’t you have your mother’s stall to run, kid- oh.”
And something catches your eye, something tattered. Something blue.
Something that you swear looked exactly like that old book Gojo had for but a mere split-second in his arms last night. Neatly piled at the top of Miwa’s column of novels on sale. And you can’t stop yourself from pointing, “Hey, what’s the price of that book?”
“Oh? Hm…” Picking it up, she scrunches her eyes in thought. “I don’t remember such a book being here, least of all in this condition- my momma would’ve skinned me alive.” Then, suddenly she perks up. “Tell ya what- you tell me more on wha’s happening between you and Father Gojo and I’ll give you this here thing for free.”
.
.
.
There wasn’t much that one could do during a monsoon rain, and raindrops fall heavy on the roof of your cozy lil’ home. Making the wooden structure creak and sing you to relaxation as you tried to take your mind off of what happened when night arrives.
Who arrives, as night does.
“I’m starting to spook my own self.” You’re notching up your oil lamp to flare up even brighter; so long as you had this, no vampire would set his clutches on you.
Sighing, you search for a distraction in your gunnysack bags from the marketplace. Leftover fruits still good, a stray few hairpins, and oh-
A soft gasp leaves your mouth as you find it - that small, blue book you’d bought just a few days ago, not having had the time to read through just yet. No author. No date. Yet, you look over the faded gold print of the cover, “‘Scripture of Shadows’, huh?”
Satisfied, you drag your armchair to where your oil lamp sat sleepily on a windowsill, and start to read by flickering fire light.
‘Prologue: On Creatures That Walk Among Us.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against. —Ephesians 6:12
In the years of my ministerial labors, I have come to learn that one may never truly know what walks alongside you. There are creatures in every shadow you look - though you may not see.
Out past the edge of God’s hand, these things are borne of hunger and sin - they may be cursed, fallen, or bound to their flesh cruth; salvaged only by thirst that no godly mortal can explain. I have seen them, spirits of ruin that massacre entire herds and weep alongside the shepherd in the waking morn’.
Yes, dear reader, they may take shapes you belove—wolf, woman, child, lover. And above them all, vampires-’
The flash of lightning, the grumble of thunder- you’re jumping in your seat and nearly slamming the heavy tome shut with a yelp. Wide-eyed, you take a hasty glance through the window, feeling your skin blanket in skittering goosebumps.
“Dear gods-” Breathless, you’re flipping through a few more pages on vampires and other such entities to settle on a random chapter.
‘Chapter Four: The Myth of the Vampyre.’
Heavens, why was this always following you like so? And what was Father Gojo doing reading up on such a thing- skipping a few paragraphs and scriptures, you continue reading in honed silence.
‘Perhaps the most cunning of demonic creatures. Not truly dead, nor truly alive, the vampyre boasts the most fearful humanly power of all—beauty. Indeed, they possess much more; overwhelming strength, teeth to kill, speed to hunt. And yet, I have seen more mortals fall victim to the enticing nature of the vampyre than any other creature.’
Perhaps it was the topics taled in the book, perhaps it was the raging storm outside, but you can’t help but squirm restlessly in your seat as you feel oddly…watched.
‘Let this scripture stand, then, not as idle fancy, but as a caution towards the charismature essence of the vampyre. With this, most hold positions of great authority. Infiltrating even the most tight-knit towns with ease - among them, mayors, teachers, merchants, and mostly-’
Someone was watching you.
You stare up at the empty, pitch-black square of your window. And then back down past a few paragraphs-
‘But fear not, dear reader, though they cross realms of living and shadow, the vampyre has one confirmed flaw - not sunlight, nor garlic, as tales claim. It is barred from thresholds unbidden, for only when an invitation is offered, may the creature enter. And Revelation 3:20–’
You look up.
The empty window.
The full book.
‘Take care to hold forth the crucifix and be not deceived by beauty or charm. But be cautioned, god-fearing reader, even vampyres have tales of legends. Those of their kind so infamous-’
The empty window.
The full book.
‘-that we hear merely brief whispers of his name, one so vicious and almighty that even vampyres dare not evoke His anger.’
The empty window.
‘An omniscient being amongst even creatures of the shadows, his name-’
A flash of blue-
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
You gasp.
Urgently, you drop the book and hurry to the ramming fist at your door, more to get away from its words than anything else.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
“C-coming–!”
Your rickety front door creaks as you swing it open, immediately struck with the light of the storm and the icy breath of rain. Wincing against the droplets of water that hit your face, you can just barely make out the flicker of blue, blue eyes.
Gojo tips his hat to you solemnly, “I pray I’m not disturbing you, my angel.” His deep voice rings out, curiously above even the howl of the wind, and his pretty face simply looks haunted. “Forgive the haste, but I came straight away- there’s been another attack.”
Out of breath, “A-another vampire attack?”
“We fear so, ranch hand Mahito this time. Neck punctured, eyes white- God have mercy on us.” He shakes his head, “The town’s congregatin’ for a special Mass tomorrow, I would like it if you were to join us together to pray for the four lost souls.”
“Of course of course.” You’re taking in the layers of water that soak through Gojo’s dark robes, skin-tight over his heaving chest. Opening your door wider invitingly, “Please, come on in. Oh, you’re just drenched.”
And he opens his eyes just a tad wider, he curls his lips just a slight further.
“I fear I cannot, beloved. So many more houses to alert.”
Gawking at yet another clap of lightning- “In this storm?”
And you have no idea how he can just smile like that during dark times like these. The pearly whites of his canines wafting near the shell of your ear as Gojo leans in- whispering. “Worried for me?”
He takes a step, his rain-soaked clothes chill your skin as he inches forwards. Then another step, trying to listen in for your breaths. Your lack of an answer. “You should be worried. Though, not for me.”
Lashes fluttering, “Wh-what do you…”
“Be careful, my angel.” And your collarbones turn humid with the steam of his breath, the way he’s moving his ajar maw down. “You’d do well not to open the door for strangers. Lest you wish to invite…” Down, down, down—“-a vampire.”
You wait - gasps stuttered, fists clenching once he takes a step past your doorway. Just a singular, miniscule step-
Only to brush off something invisible from your shoulder, touch warm on your skin.
“I bid you a goodnight, my darling. Rest well.”
And with that Father Gojo was gone, and so was any wink of sleep that very night. Or any memory of that book, now laying as open and untouched as it had been left on the floor.
.
.
.
“I ask you not to give into fear- neither anger, nor isolation. Solely to the word of God.” Gojo’s fervent voice sing-songs over the numerous pews. Hands waving, feet stepping. “And I ask you to watch over your kin, pray over those lost, and keep your lamps lit with the faith that He watches.”
It was impossible to tear your eyes off of him.
And you’re sure that the elderly lady seated right beside you was drenching her fifth handkerchief in tears already.
“Trust in me, as I trust in Him. For even in the darkest night, there is still light to be found. For no creature can snuff out the soul of one who believes…”
As you’re nodding, you can’t help but feel that familiar sensation of eyes burning into you. Though, softer than last night- less…frightening. Darting your line of sight behind you to catch Naoya assessing you- and you couldn’t snap your head back faster.
Instead, catching Gojo’s own twinkling eyes as he finishes his sermon.
“And who is a vampire to Him? Go forth, and may the Lord be with you. Amen.”
There’s a rush after concluding rites, a crowd forming around Gojo before he can take even a step from the polished pulpit. And just as you close your books to stand from your seat yourself, ready to head home- something tugs on your wrist.
“Oi- I still have a bone to pick with you, missy.”
Or more…someone.
“Naoya.” You’re deadpanning, snatching your wrist free to stare him down with a glare that was utterly not suited for the place you were in right now. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
He spears his index your way, “Don’t you go thinking that I’ve forgotten ‘bout you and that tch- preacher.”
Standing your own, you sneak glances at the thinning crowd and just pray they won’t give this little quarrel an ear. “I don’t know what you’re getting at.”
“Telling me nothing’s happened, sweetcheeks?” Naoya huffs, “I heard you talkin’ with that sobbing hag- saying how he invited you personally for today’s sermon.”
“Why, yes. What seems to be the problem?”
“You think he went knockin’ on any of our doors at the dead of night?”
Your brows furrow, wouldn’t he have? After all, it was what he said.
“But, of course, he’s gonna invite you personally. The day right there by the fruit stall? The way he was undressing you with his eyes today—I wouldn’t be a darn bit surprised if he’s laid with a shameless woman like you already-”
“And if that is so? Jealous?”
Naoya gasps, and so do about fifteen of the nosy townsfolk lingering by the pews.
Wincing as Naoya’s grating voice threatens to speak once more–
“Mind your tongue, mister Naoya.” A steady hand claps down on the shorter man’s shoulder, and this silvery bangs flick towards the interruption of the one and only priest. “We stand on hallowed ground.”
Just as he turns his fury towards Gojo instead, his palm squeezes where it lay- hard enough that you can hear the faint pop! of something emanating from the contact. And before he can say any further, Gojo tilts his head down to whisper something in Naoya’s ear.
Something that has him pale. Trembling. And rushing out of the church faster than you can even blink.
As Gojo smiles at the rest of your company in a polite dismissal, you’re fighting back an awed whistle from your throat. “Pardon my language but-” Eyes steady on his rapidly retreating figure, shoving past each attendee misfortunate enough to cross his path. “-what in blazes did you say to him, Father-”
“Satoru.”
You grin, “Gojo.”
“And ah, I only spoke the truth- that this was God’s sanctuary.” He tilts his head with a beam, though, there’s something about it that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “And perhaps something of his father…”
“You’re the devil.”
“Quite the opposite.” Never one to care for gossip, Gojo wastes not a second leaning down till his breath wafted your cheeks. Snowy brows pinched into one of regret, “That reminds me, do forgive my intrusion last night, beloved, I pray I didn’t come at a bad time.”
You flail your hands in disagreement, “Oh, heavens no-” In fact, the eerie book rested upon your bookshelf, and you couldn’t have asked for a more welcome interruption. “I was just…reading a book, you see.”
“So you say.”
Carefully watching for his reaction, “Called um- ‘Scripture of Shadows.’”
And if you expected him to gasp- if you expected Gojo to even blink at the familiar title, then he doesn’t give you the satisfaction. Only nodding his head in deep understanding, “Anything interesting in that book, my angel?”
“Only fearful.”
He jests, “Then you should devote those eyes to the Lord.”
You grip your rosary, “I shall do both.”
“Good.” The call of Gojo’s names for blessings and prayers were often, and he nods his head towards a group beckoning him over. As he turns to walk away–“Chapter six is particularly fascinating…and I have plans to reread it tonight.” He whispers, just barely audible over the sound of footsteps on the hardwood holy floor. “My door is always open for you, my darling.”
Oh.
.
.
.
Step.
Step.
Step.
“Hello?”
You didn’t know whether it was the darkness or the taboo in what you were doing that had your footsteps rattling in noisy unison with your heartbeat.
It was dark - dark enough outside that the neighbors wouldn’t be able to make out your flickering oil lamp through the blanket of the night. Light in one hand, your book in the other, you let yourself slip through the unlocked gates of the church, making your way down the winding hallway that you knew led to Father Gojo’s office.
Though, it was not the church like you’d ever known it.
And you’d known it crumbling from the walls, you’d known it manifested into something grand - but never so…chilling.
Each candle was snuffed out, puffing out ghosts of smoke that curled up in the high hallway. Clinging onto your shivering shoulders and making you flinch at each miniscule noise in the distance- “Father Gojo? Are you present toni- mmpf.”
Your mouth gapes, aghast, nose wrinkling when it felt like you’d just been run over by a carriage. But, it wasn’t a carriage at all - it was a thick, metallic scent that permeated the frigid air and made you stop straight in your tracks.
Hand coming up to cup your mouth, “What is that godforsaken smell?”
Step.
Step.
And it only gets thicker. More relentless.
Soon enough you’re fully closing your tingling nostrils with your palm and hopelessly praying that it was only a passing perfume. For this wasn’t just the tinge of metal you might smell as you pass the time piece-maker, rather, it was heavy. Slightly sweet.
Step.
The one you’d smell on the butcher.
Iron.
Your eyes widen- blood.
Gojo.
Running.
All but sprinting, you’re staggering further down the hallway to where you’d remembered were his quarters. Following the faint memory of his candlelit office, fear laces its frosty grip ‘round your heart as you call out. “F-father Go- oh!”
And it seems you’d forgotten that light reveals more in the shadows than you might want to see.
Red.
Red, red pools paint the grey stone of the church in a bloody mosaic.
You gasp, body running a few steps backwards on pure instinct at the pale hand sinking into the blood like a desolate ship. Mindlessly, the hand holding your oil lamp jerks over to reveal pale, silvery bangs peeking out from the crimson puddle.
Your heart races- was this. No. Stepping tentatively closer, your mouth drops as once you spy a few stray strands of deep, two-toned black. Naoya.
“Bitter.”
Slowly…achingly…your quivering oil lamp raises up to the darkness behind Naoya’s corpse. And there you see it - two bright, harrowing eyes of azure blue that bored into your very soul from beyond.
His eyes.
Just a flash of those, a mere single glimpse is all that you’re given before the light crashes down to the ground, and you’re both plunged into darkness.
Both you and Gojo Satoru.
Who shoves you against the nearest wall with such inhuman speed, so fast that you don’t even have the time to register it, register your rosary breaking.
One hand slamming down on the rocky wall above you, hard enough to make it crater an outline of his five fingers. The other cupping your cheek gently- almost gingerly, as if afraid to use his true strength with you.
“Five bodies.” He rasps, and in the grimy lighting you can see two elongated glints of his canines, “Five bodies. All five of them bitter, but you, my darling…”
Before you can even take a closer look, he’s stuffing his face into the thrumming skin at the crook of your neck and drinking in a deeeeep inhale. A sigh. A groan.
“-I would kill for but a taste.”
And he already has, you’re realizing.
You stammer, staring up into his pale, stoic face - looking at him properly now.
From the sharp fangs poking through his rosy lips, to the beauty that was so incredible that it was other-worldly. He had a trail of dark red blood staining one side of his maw, a few droplets spattered onto the whites of his roman collar.
“Y-you’re-”
“Say it.”
“You’re a vampire.”
Whimpering at the ice-cold breath that haunts your flesh, your pulse. “And you’re a delicacy.” He’s enveloping all of you, as if you were ripe for the picking- and you can feel the way your thighs tremble when Gojo’s pushing himself harder against your body. He’s holding you.
Cassock rubbin’ your front, your book falling, golden cross startling.
Gojo raises his refined nose into the air just once to sniff, before the most simpering tone bleeds into his voice. “How adorable.”
“Wh-what you- oh!”
It seems you can’t help but fail in catching your breath whenever he’s around, even though it might just be your last. And Gojo slithers out his long, pinkish tongue to sliiiide down your racing pulse - wet and hot on your flesh, he’s tasting you. Savoring you. Enough to make something instantly hard n’ raw tug through the layers of his holy robe.
One that he ruts between your legs-
Gojo tilts your face up by your jaw, nailmarks dotting your chin. He gives you a sensual peck, “Let me show you what true carnal pleasures are, little human.”
Maybe you’re nodding, maybe you’re simply gasping at the shock of his touch and bucking your hips up wildly - because that’s all it takes.
All that it takes for Gojo to scoop your weakened knees underneath a singular arm and turn- almost as soon as he did, you’re blinking your eyes to stare up at the ornate ceiling of the priest’s quarters.
Right now you’re laid out across the large, cushioned couch in the middle of his room. Legs sprawled out embarrassingly, dress hiked high up to your knees where Gojo had kneeled himself on the floor in front of you.
Speed to hunt, the book had said.
The very same book that he was now twirling between two pinched fingers and humming idly, “My my, it seems that you haven’t even read chapter four properly, my darling. Going against holy orders? Now, how should we rectify that, hm?”
Fingers itching for the hem of your skirts, “P-please-”
“Oh, the Lord has spoken to me.” Gojo gasps, suddenly, as if he’d just come to an epiphany. And his smile is simply sinful, sapphire eyes glowing- the very same ones you’d seen that night. “Bend.”
“Wha- hey!”
In a nanosecond, he’s manhandling you like a puppet. Making you crawl onto your knees with your front plastered against the high seat of the couch. Arched directly in front of his salivating maw-
“This shan’t work if your heart didn’t will it, my angel.” Gojo muses, shit, how gorgeous you looked like this. Bent and ready for him. He doesn’t even have to make use of his inhuman eyesight to locate that pretty damp spot blotchily drenching through your dress.
You were so wet that all he had to do was lean his nose closer and sniff to drink in that sweet, heavenly scent of you. “Oh.” Gojo’s sharp nails tug on the hem of your thin dress, “Oh.”
Rip-rip-riiiiip—!
Every inch of your clothing melts like butter underneath his power, and the only thing you can do is whimper as you lay your spine arched. Thin panties the only thing you had on underneath during this humid night.
“Fuck.”
It’s the last thing you hear before Gojo’s lengthy tongue probes at your sheeny inner thighs and laps up- not your drooling, puffy core where you’d needed him the most.
But instead the slight cut that had grazed your heated flesh as he tore off your dress- Gojo moans the instant your taste hits his tongue. Red-hot.
Not even having to breathe, but his pants were labored, “Fuck.” The sloppy drag of his moistened muscle lets out the most sinful slurp when he’s licking and licking before nothing else is left of your crimson. And then he’s inching his tastebuds up your thighs. He wanted more. Needed it this very instant, all the patience of these immortal years and it wouldn’t be enough. Not even caring for your paper-thin panties, “Fuck-”
Hastily stuffing the quivering orifice of your puffy with his fat girth- before scoffing at the complete n’ utter tightness that wouldn’t let him go completely in. “Pure as a dove, aren’t you, beloved?”
“I-I’ve never…” Tearfully mewling at the burning streeeetch, Gojo’s tongue was just so massive that even the slightest probe inside made your head loopy. “Never done…this.”
The only thing he does is spank a hand down at the edge of your spine to make you bend even further- “Then show me how devoted you are.” Straight into his mouth. Straight into a pert, pretty target for him to spit. Thick, globular, and wet. “Show it to me, my darling.”
And it’s maddening how it’s the last thing that Gojo can get out before he flicks his sizzling tongue through your undergarments to taste down your slit. Letting the slippery wads of your slick fill up his tastebuds and make him groan-
You gawk over your shoulder when his eyes only dilate, sharp fangs growing even sharper. “Show-”
With a hand groping the left of your ass cheeks, he’s tuggin’ you all back to him with an inhuman strength that makes you keen.
That makes his metallic crucifix press against the backs of your thighs. Fanged lips hovering over your outer pussy as he wetly nuzzles aside your panties to slip his tongue past-
You buck, “Sh-shit, Gojo-”
“Oh.” He’s shuddering at the act of you bucking up stupidly, chasing the temperate French kiss of his mean mouth. Giving him even more of a taste that he just can’t take it-
“Dear heavenly father, I thank you for this meal.”
And then it all happens at once- your soggy panties are torn off you in a split-second, Gojo’s mouth replacing it even more rapidly.
Bent over the chair, he’s eating out your saccharine sweet pussy like a beast starved.
He glues his upper lip against the swollen nub of your clit and you whine at the sharp sting of Gojo’s fangs digging right up against your bundle of nerves. Sucking. Tasting. Until his cheeks are all hollowed out with the friction of his suckling and he’s still forcing himself deeper into your pussy for more.
“Oh g- fuck.” Head throwing back stupidly, his nose nudges against the very tip-top of your treacly cunt. “It feels so, so good-”
“A meal this exquisite- never in my s-six hundred years.” He’s muttering between the swollen folds of your pussy, lining your slippery slit with the long line of his nosebridge.
So messy. Gojo snickers in lewd amusement at the way you’re rolling your hips back to ride n’ slide his nose. He’s rovering his mouth everywhere, glassy eyes half-lidded until he’s simply moving in pure primal instinct to slap the curl of his long, lecherous tongue by the edge of your dampened hole.
Tugging the rubbery circle of it just enough to make you whimper, he circles out soppy patterns that stretch out your cunt. Back and forth back and forth until your limbs weaken. “Have you just finished your monthly dues, my angel?”
You’re gripping onto the wooden headboard of the chair for sweet relief, “Y-yes?”
“That explains it.” And then he nuzzles in nose-deep and even deeper into your drivelling pussy, up n’ down to latch onto your clit and bite. “The next time, you tell me first. I know exactly how to…”
Murmured straight into your hot pussy, mouth departing such a guttural groan as he feels your sap splash down with a noisy squelch. Alllll down his pointed chin and where he’s creepin’ up one of his free hands to caress your glossy outer pussy. “-help.”
Squealing, you’re feeling just the thick crown of his index poke your cunt. “A-are you putting your ngh- fingers in?”
“I said I shan’t lay a hand on you.” And just then, the doughy palm of his second palm pushes your legs wide apart, not nearly enough to distract you from the flick of his flexible tongue and the way he smooches your filthy hole with yet another cushy fingerpad. “I shall lay two.”
And then you’re seeing raw white in your vision, the feeling of Gojo pushin’ his two ringed fingers past your first tight ring of muscle too much to bear.
Thick enough that you’re struggling to squeeze him inside- “Fuck back t’me- fuck back-”
“L-like this?”
He’s matching your sluggishly sensual pace, nose wrinkling sinfully at the velvety texture of your insides. Gojo’s cross necklace swats your thighs with each constant lurch of his head, crooning out. “Yes- yes. Oh, hell.”
He scrapes the mushy roof of your walls with his deep black purity ring, the cold material thrusting into your most sweetest spots and making him grin. “This is devotion, beloved.”
“Y-you’re just so big- nghhhh–” Your moans strike against the wide chamber and echo all across the building. Hips rutting back to feel his prolonged digits all the way down to the mountains of his knobbly knuckles, “Why are your fingers so big?”
“Only to please you, my darling.” And oh- oh, it was such a tight fit.
Gojo can’t help but salivate the slimy tip of his tongue down your silvery slit and fucking pry your pussylips apart to let your snug channel take him deeper. Harder. Faster. The roaming shapes of his long, long digits scissor just so that he can stir apart your gluey walls and let you gush out slick.
Licking his way inside while he’s pushing into each nook n’ cranny- hitting down all the way to the base ends of his digits with a right thwack!
“And you’re just so- ngh- looong—”
“Only to find-” Oh, you didn’t forget about those eyes of his, did you? Because right after he’s letting off a murky gust of those syllables, Gojo’s eyes glow- his fingers hammer - exactly into the bulging area of your g-spot. He’s seeing right through you. “-this sweet thing better, my darling.”
And then it’s absolutely driving you crazy- Gojo’s fingers are just so incredibly rude, swatting a furious back and forth. Thrash-thrash-thrash, determinedly perking up his fingerpads to push his purity ring against your g-spot and watch as you cutely flinch.
“You’re so- oh- oh my god-” Making each scrape against your sweet spots so sensitive, pump after pump.
“I prefer…Satoru.”
He’s letting out a husky snicker each time he’s plunging into the deepest of your melty depths. Maw now gaping widely ajar to scoop up every glittery ribbon of slick that trickled from between your folds. He’s hungry- thirsting like a vampire parched for six hundred years n’ now he can only gulp in the first meal of his lifetime - you.
You’re bending your pussy to slope down against his mouth and he has the audacity to give you a sweet, puckered smooch. Innocent. “C’mon say it- pray.”
“Please-”
“Not what I asked, beloved.”
Your throat rips with such a carnal shrill at the pudgy crown of his third finger desperately trying to find a way in. Pushing- pap! pap! pap! “Pleeeease- ngh- Satoru. Satoru, fuck-”
SPANK!
Such glistening beads of pearly slap stream n’ gush all down the front of Gojo’s bobbing throat the very moment he swats his plush palm down across your cunt. “Profanity is a desecration of the church, my angel.”
Another spank. Another splurging squelch of your pussy talking out in leaks of your sweet, sweet juices. And Gojo only nods along as if in conversation, “How wonderful of you to volunteer to read chapter six in repentance-” Some invisible force of his powers is guiding your familiar shadowy book to your hands. “-and recite it in perfect condition, too.”
“But-”
“Perfect-” Just as a third finger spears its way between your slick-glazed pussylips and finds itself mazing down your walls, headed straight for your g-spot with a thump. Grinning. Voice airy. “-condition.”
A tiiiight fit, that makes you fumble with your poor book, your eyes whirling in the exact lecherous patterns he’s drawling out on your wettened cunt. Each sloppy slurp Gojo’s drinking in enough to make your wrists weaken-
“Ch-chapter six: The Vampyre’s ngh- Beloved.” Unsure of what has your mind spinning more, the title or the way that he’s picking his pace up angrily. “Many are unaware of- hah! the one weakness of the- fuck.”
Tittering, his dimples peek. “Keep going.”
“-the vampyre- hnghhh–”
“Don’t make me- oh.” And before you know it, not only does he have three of his fingers rummagin’ inside. But also the slither of his tastebuds stuffing insides- his vampire tongue so lengthy that it squeezes and squeezes ‘round your tight rim till he’s rutting his flushed cheeks against your cunt.
And the underside of your stomach crackles with a few sparks of bliss, “-the vampyre- their one true love.”
“Mmmmm, yes. Say that again.”
“O-one true love?”
Gojo’s pulling back his tongue with a wettened squelch. Ravenous. Feral. He’s getting himself drunk on each drag that your restless body was quivering out - now moving everywhere and anywhere.
Faster. Sloppier.
Fucking back inside your hole. Slapping over your clit. Biting down on the swollen edge of your pussy just to hear those pretty cries, “One true love-” Then sticking the damp edges of his bangs to tickle your skin, he suckles on your clit like gum. “-my one true love.”
Again and again.
Moving so rapidly- it’s like he’s in three places at once. Swirling the long edge of his tongue around and around your walls until you’re babbling stupidly, “The fated mate- ngh- soulmate…?” Skipping paragraphs, enough to make Gojo give your pussy a quick spank.
“All scripture is God-breathed.”
“-c-can induce a different kind of bite in the vampyre. An unexplainable soul tie that happens merely once in- haaah- eternity- one that vampyres tear down heaven and hell for.” Oh, that gets him excited.
Flicking his tongue furiously in hearts upon hearts on top of your sensitive clit now. Thoroughly. Feverishly, you’re half-wondering whether his lips weren’t aching- “And one such known- ngh- vampyre in search-”
“Yeeees–?”
“Gojo Satoru.”
And then you’re hitting it- that lewd, lecherous crash of your orgasm that’d been building up for what felt like eons at this point.
“O-oh my god-” Was this what all those filthy romance books you hid away meant? It was so much better than a lonely night with your hand. You were cumming so hard that you’re seeing comical stars, letting go of the book. “Satoru- Satoru Satoru Satoru- I-I’m-”
“All over my face now. All over, my darling. C’mon.”
You didn’t even know where it started, you didn’t know where it ended.
Just that it had your poor, trembling pussylips plastered to Gojo’s mouth like he was attaching it with adhesive.
Inhuman strength holding your thighs down to stop you from even recoiling- because anything that would break off the rubbing massage of your cunt was something he had to halt. You were creamin’ all down Gojo Satoru’s face and he was making sure it stayed that way.
“Yes- yeeeees, that’s it. That’s it. Never in my life have I- hah-” Even speaking was such a difficult endeavor for him, not when he couldn’t bear to pull away mere inches from your gushing pussy. “-been more grateful for the fact that I don’t need to breathe.”
Thighs shaking, goosebumps taking over. You arch your back with a whine at the repeated flicks of his tongue on your clit- in dual stimulation with your g-spot. “B-but I do-”
In response, Gojo’s only crushing your poor pussy against his face further. “Hmmm- heh.”
Only fucking you juuust a bit more with the coiling ends of his tongue, oh-so-lengthy like a snake’s. He swabs the bruised corners of your walls a few more times, gurgling through each fleck of gooey sap that escaped you. Before pulling back with such a loud, dramatic mwah! “Amen.”
Shocked, you flip your woozy head backwards to catch sight of his sleazy smirk, the way that his summer-blue eyes seemed to spark. Feeling your legs twitch slightly with the jolts of your high, “A-and about the vampire’s Beloved?”
“Huh? Oh.” Blinking his dazed eyes, he’s so pussydrunk that it takes Gojo a few seconds to even register what you’d just asked. “Well…will this prove my scripture’s truth, beloved?”
You’re being treated like a cute lil’ ragdoll at this point; because it doesn’t even take seconds for Gojo to perch a rude hand on the side of your hips and flip you over.
With your back now against the cushion, you’re grappling for the woody bearings of the chair as he holds your ankles wide apart and lodges himself between them. “How devoted I am?”
“D-devoted?” You’re puffing out a humid breath, and your chin strikes your chest in your hurry to ogle the entire sight of Gojo Satoru. Because oh…oh, was he such an utter sight.
Your slick sheens the entire lower half of his handsome face- all the way up to his damn, ruddied cheekbones. Dripping down in sticky sloshes all across the hollows of his cheeks, and down his pointed fangs. Your breath catches in your throat as you take in just how glistening they were with all your glazes of sweet juices.
He was wearing it like a mark of honor.
“So. Hopelessly. Devoted.”
Staining his neckline of his dark cassock even darker, you can’t help but notice that you were completely exposed while he was still dressed in his priests’ robes. Right down to the gold cross.
Gojo slaps down the edge of his coral pink tongue to lick up the cloying excess glued to his mouth, staring dead-on at you all the while. “Oh…are you aware that I can smell whenever that pretty pussy gets even wetter?”
“Y-you can?” You’re hissing, trying to close your legs but you can’t - not with Gojo pushing himself between them.
“It’s delicious.” Even deeper. Even wider, he stretches your legs and hunches over with his towering frame to fit a fat thumb between your spit-glossed lips. “I can smell your blood.” Sniffing your throbbing pulse, “Your need.” He glides his digit down your canines, so much more blunt than his fangs.
“And–?”
He looks down with a grin, “Your pussy.”
And Gojo could already sense your lewd impatience, holding onto the side of your waist with one hand- and the other pulling back to fumble with the golden buttons of his robes.
Pop!
Pop!
Pop!
“Satoru-”
“Ah ah.” He was such a damn tease. Unbuttoning only about halfway down his fitted cassock and black clerical shirt. Just enough for you to be spying his extremely chiseled front, from the bulge of his curvy pecs, to the ridges of his abs.
He was oh-so-naturally sexy that it made your mouth water. Ripped core flexing once he’s removing his belt and tugging down those pants of his, robes lifted now. Not enough for you.
But just enough that his red, aching cock springs free and hits the pure white happy trail on his abs with a thwack!
Nine- maybe even ten thick inches. And you can only speechlessly gape, because he wasn’t just rock-hard…he was so hard n’ heavy that it must’ve been painful, like every drop of blood in his pale body was surging up to the bulbous tip of his cockhead.
Gojo’s mushroomy tip blushes a scorching hot pink and leaks out hot precum as if he’s melting, a translucent splat! straight between the slitted slope of your pussy. “Any last words?”
You’re trembling, “L-last words?”
“Mmm—” He’s sandwiching the girth of his fat, veiny cock between your folds. Just so thick that your pussylips are already being spread near their absolute max- and was that…
You gasp, surging your head down and oh- you were feeling it right. Each n’ every time Gojo’s sliiiding his length between your cunt, your clit snags on the cold, bulging nib of something. A piercing. He had a piercing.
Like one of those you’d only heard they had in large cities and oh, you weren’t making it out of this alive.
“M’gonna eat you alive, my angel.”
As if he’d just read your mind.
And you wouldn’t be surprised if he could- pure cottony static entering your brain the very second that Gojo’s aligning his smooth tip at your entrance and pushing.
The stretch is so much that you can only blink your teary lashes and keen– “I-it’s so big- oh, shit, go easy on me, Satoru.” Especially when you’ve never been stretched out like this before.
So-very-vulgarly, Gojo only hovers his wet-glazed thumb down to tip aside your plush folds. It was so cute, like your swollen pussy was puckering right up at him every time he nudged his hips back to give your tight hole a good probe.
“Is that all?” He’s inspecting with a grin, ringed fingers pryin’ your dewy cunt apart. Mindlessly rutting- bucking- “Six hundred years and s’that all you can take, beloved?”
Clearly teasing, but the thought of taking all his barrelling shaft makes your back arch wildly. Whimpering after every smooch of his orbed piercing, “I-I can make all of that fit?”
“No.” Gojo snickers, but even that sounds unsteady. Even that sounded like it was on the very verge of shattering into a zillion pieces, and he’s only sinking a finger inside your pussy to stretch you out. To force his raging dick to break off from your clammy cunt to push and push. “But I will make it fit.”
And then it’s like you’re losing your mind- seeing white behind the lids of your eyes when he’s sinking in a few fat, heavy inches.
Hissing underneath his breath, Gojo’s moving the hand at your hips over to your throat to pin you down.
“C’mon-” Chortling, he uses it to keep you still as he ruts- “C’mon c’mon-” And ruts, burying your upper half into the couch cushion as he swerves his hips deeper. The stretch just vicious, your elastic entrance is being oh-so-tugged to his very size. “Acting like such a sinful girl– and you shall be dealt with as such. Now, open those legs wider, my darling.”
“Oh-oh, god- Satoru-”
Choking you, his big, beefy biceps flex once he’s pulling you down by your neck. Meaty thighs gluing flush against your own, his fangs peek in a grin. “Yes and yes.”
Languidly, Gojo’s pumping himself deeper to fill out each slick ridge and orifice. Prince Albert’s piercing decorating the very line of his sensitive slit, he’s acting like it’s a spotlight to massage every spot inside of you.
Letting the puffy entrance of your pussy stretch-stretch-streeeetching-
“F-fuck.” Gojo lets out, all of a sudden. Barely even audible over the resounding plop! that lets off from the damp space between your thighs when he’s finally - finally - bottoming out.
Finally.
And oh– it takes a few seconds to register inside your mind, did you just make the infamous Gojo Satoru stutter? Mewling in bewilderment, “D-did you just…did you just fit all- hck!”
He groans—“Sure did.” But there’s something dopey in his tone, something that sounds like utter fucking disbelief. Gojo rovers his hand over your plump cylindrical tummy bulge - he was so big that he could tap his thumb down on the hill of his cockhead poking through. “Fuck.”
Then it’s like the floodgates open. The floodgates shatter.
Gojo’s fangs elongate, his eyes slit almost menacingly- and he’s throwing your boneless legs over his shoulder to push you down into the tightest possible mating press.
A mating press.
Hand slamming down on the couch’s oak frame hard enough for it to splinter, “Fuck.” He’s croaking out like a broken record as soon as he’s gifting your goopy cunt with the first thrust. “Fuh-fuck.”
Then the second, the third, the fourth- smashing against that cute spongy cervix at the bottom of your pussy. Gojo rubs his swollen veins raw on the gummy texture of your walls, feeling a little part of his sanity crack each time.
“Oh my- ngh- fuuuuck, Satoru–” You’re wailing out whimpering, fingers valleying through the locks of his ivory hair and pulling. “It’s so big- h-hngh- how’s it even going in-”
“If only your eyes may gaze upon what I can.” The edges of his blue eyes sizzle with power, and shit, he’s seeing right through your drooling cunt.
Using the lecherous advantage of his powers to swerve his hips just right, he knocks the flared end of his tip right at the target of your g-spot. Extra, extra blissful with the way his chilling piercing slips n’ snags just right across that particular orifice.
“Then you’d know that this is the only- ngh- heaven that a creature like I shall ever taste. The only heaven that I shall…fuck.”
Digits twitching on his clammy scalp, “O-oh.”
And you just look so pretty like this- lips sprayed with bubbles of drool, your eyes rolling cartoonishly every time he struck the bottom of your pussy, chest heaving.
So Gojo can’t help but feel your gushing pussy clench ‘round his cock and gasp- and slouch. Maw sagging fully open, cross hitting your chest, he’s furrowing his brows down at you- yeah, the most beautiful thing he’s seen since he was turned six hundred years ago.
Letting go of teasing that tummy bulge, he holds your left hand - tenderly.
And Gojo, for all his riches, might not have an engagement ring ready yet; which is why you’re feeling the cool slip of his purity ring make way onto your ring finger. Blinking dazedly, “C-can the Father even- ngh- propose?”
“For you? I’d burn down every soul, building, and flora upon this land.”
Dead serious.
Gojo tilts his flustered features down at you and asks one simple question, “Feel like flying?”
“Flying? What- oh, fuck!”
And he could fly, if he so wished to grow his wings- but what Gojo meant right now was to pick you up. Cleanly off the broken couch, he stands tall with only a singular inhuman hand supporting your weight.
The other turning your head up to watch the twitches in your expression as gravity slides you doooown his aching cock. From the ruby-red globe of his crown to the wide circumference of his hilt, each squirm leaves his prominent veins grazing your walls sensually.
Your ass cheeks nuzzling his heavy balls, you whimper, “I-it’s in again?”
“Oh, beloved, it’s more than in…” Trailing off with a husky groan, Gojo leaves a wet, open-mouthed kiss on your lips that makes you whine. “-I don’t think m’gonna make it out of this with my life to spare.”
Oh.
Oh.
Then Gojo’s fucking you like he’s angry his thick, ravenous cock can’t delve deeper inside your pussy - just furious, slobbering strokes.
He thwacks the curve of his ballsack against the front of your cunt and then hisses when it won’t go any further. Usin’ a firm grip on your ass to get you to arch even further, “More- come on. More, little human.”
Rolling your hips back with each hit after hit to your g-spot, he’d mapped you out perfectly at this point. Shaft just so extremely long that you were feeling it in your very lungs.
“R-right there mmm–” Spittle pours from the edge of your mouth and lavishes Gojo’s deltoids, where you can only hold on for dear life. “Oh my god, Satoru-”
“You think your Lord’s lookin’ down at you right now, my angel?” Gojo has the audacity to giggle with his fanged canines - pussydrunk and gone once his hips only slam harder into yours.
His golden crucifix repeatedly thumps your chest, and you can only watch when he drags up your ringed left hand right up to his mouth. Biting. “He can’t hear you-” Hard. “So maybe you should heh- scream louder.”
Louder and louder - your pitchy whines were utter music in Gojo’s blushing ears.
By now reaching a fever point as you’re feeling the sensations in your legs go numb, head lolling stupidly-
“My, no ngh- sleeping yet, my darling.” And this position just left you so helpless, completely at Gojo’s mercy when he’s deciding to slip a free hand between your legs and pinch your perky clit. Brushing the calloused fringe of his thumb down where you were the most sensitive. “Not until I bite every inch of you.”
Oh…it just felt too good. Those slender fingers knew exactly what they were doing, targeting the most delicate spots of your nub, until you felt all raw.
You babble at the carnal itch of his fingerpads rolling across your clit. Smearing the dewy droplets of slick that just kept on seeping out of you. “B-but I’m so- ngh- can feel it again, Satoru…”
“That so?” Absolutely no mercy. Gojo’s starting up a synchronization between his pre-glazed tip banging your g-spot, and the toying of your honeyed clit. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. “And yet…”
You’re shivering as he whispers in your ear, rasping. Dark. Something that makes your heart race and your cunt pound. “I will still fuck you until you can’t walk out the hah- steps of this very church.”
Another dollop of buttery pre sprays along your cervix, another kiss of his frigid piercing glueing to your walls, and yet another twitch of your useless legs. “I will still make everyone see- make everyone know. But first…”
And you knew from that delicate dimple dotting the side of his grin that the next few words won’t bode well for you.
You knew you were done for just as soon as Gojo leans back from your haphazardly dangling body, ever-so-slightly. Eyeing down your front with his superhuman sight, he still bites down on your purity ring as he grins.
“-I wish to make a statement even the heavens shall know.”
And he can see. He knows exactly where his stirrin’ cock is heading for - right towards the bullseye of your womb. Thrashing- the only carnal sensation you register before it’s all white.
Both your bleary vision and the thick, copious clumps of cum that Gojo was filling you up with.
Both hitting your highs at once - so hard that his fangs shatter the deep purity ring on your finger. Though, never once leaving even a scar on you.
“Oh, ya really are made for me.” Gojo gasps out a sharp pant, toned hips rutting so ferally upwards at the clenching squeeze of your heated insides. And oh- saying it was good would be an understatement.
The winding lines of his veiny cock dragged out your wave of bliss until you felt like your mind was melting. Bludgeoning his Prince Albert’s against your g-spot again and again and again at the precise peaks of your high.
You almost get the feeling that he’s milking himself on your overspilling cunt, twiddling a thumb over the button of your clit just to get you to clench. “H-heh-” Gojo watches as your creamy pussy driiiips with ivory syrup. “More more take more-”
You curl your toes in euphoria, dragging him into a filthy, filthy kiss. Slurring,“M-mmm- yes. I wanna-”
“Mhmmm–?”
“Hck! wanna be yours, Toru–”
Oh.
He had such a look on his face that told you he would just kill for you. Simply say the word.
“M’already yours, beloved.” Gojo’s meaty thighs shiver after each stringy ribbon of sap being pumped into you, and he’s sliding a thumb all over the drivelling mess of your slit. Cooing as you flinch, “Oh, you’re so fuuuuck- ripe.”
Ripe? What did that even mean-
You didn’t need to utter the question, because he’s already answering it in the next sultry instant.
You watch as he lovingly gazes at your tummy bulge, now stuffed with the weighty knots of his cum. There’s an almost tender note in his voice as he speaks, “Should you so wish, this one’s gonna be a ngh- boy.”
Oh.
Ripe for the picking, like a pomegranate.
Ripe for him to fuck you till you were all round and glowing- and it’s almost the two of you are moving at the speed of light. Gojo barely even taking a split-second to transport himself to the edge of his humble priest’s bed and bully you down.
Cock still buried deeply near your womb, he flattens the weeping head of his shaft against your cervix. Taking a loooong, languid glide of his pierced mushroom tip-
“Y-you’re still- ngh-” You hiccup, feeling the parched twitch of his length - still so red n’ swollen that it ached him to not be stuffed between your glossy folds.
Sheathing himself in sluggish gyrations that stir your insides, Gojo’s tearing off the rest of his holy robes. From his cassock to his roman collar- and that twinkling golden cross ends up dropped somewhere on his dampening sheets.
“Still hard? Heh-” Gojo snickers, oh, he’s going to have fun with you for the rest of eternity. “Now, you didn’t expect a vampire to stop at only one, did you, my angel?”
Fuck.
.
.
.
And maybe it’s been hours. Maybe it’s been days.
All you’re learning is that a vampire goes for seconds, thirds, fourths- that Gojo Satoru won’t be even the slightest bit satisfied until he’s well past the sixth round.
Your tired hips slumped on top of his now, riding him dry- well, as best as you could when your entire body was utterly helpless. At his mercy, he’s got his large hands clawing on your waist, moving you in steady figure-eight grins.
Long, achingly probing his sensitive divot into your battered and bruised delicate spots. So far gone that you could feel the slimy second skin of his cum from hours prior pool inside.
Gojo slaps his hip bones up to yours and lets out what sounded like a damn broken whimper, “Yeah- yeah, if this isn’t the most heavenly thing- nghhh–”
“Oh-ohhhh my god—” You whimper, the cheeks of your ass stinging as he perks a hand underneath your thighs to slam you down. Crushing your overstimulated clit against his soaked happy trail, “The sun’s coming up, Toru.”
And sure enough, tentative yellow light was seeping between the half-shuttered blinds of Gojo’s quarters.
With it, a new day. And a new victim of the vampire to be discovered - of his.
Though, that’s the last thing on your stupidly fuzzy mind when the thickened end of his thumb is coming down to draw out a cute lil’ heart on your clit. “S’that soo–? Heh-” He gulps from his completely dry throat, looking at you through unruly white bangs. “Better make this fast then, my darling.”
You had no idea where his stamina was coming from- even for a vampire this was ridiculous, surely.
At some point he was clinging onto your hips and maneuvering you up n’ down his vein-decorated cock as if it was nothing.
Slight sparks of power flying from his half-lidded eyes every time he’s swirling and swirling his flinching cock ‘round your walls. Each semicircle of him stretching you out gets you rewarded with the slightest geyser of milky pre- damn near cumming dry.
“Oh.” Gojo’s nostrils flare, and his flushed maw hangs wide open with a sliver of spittle. Turning into a torrent of saliva once he’s hit with that familiar candied perfume of your orgasm.
Close-
Before you can even babble out the word, you’re cumming- and not just cumming, squirting. All over Gojo’s…face?
Fuck, your hands dig into the sweaty locks of his pale hair. Half-melted mind realizing that he’d transported you with his powers just as soon as you hit your high. Moving you from his jolting cock to seat all prettily on top of his face.
Right on top for him to lavish his swollen mouth with the splosh of your velvety sap. Creaming all over his handsome features, leaving his lower and upper body soaked.
“Mmm- fuck.” He slaps his dewy-wet lips down your dripping wet cunt; simply drunken, Gojo lets the ribbons of your thick slick drench his sharp jawline. Puddle after puddle of cloying liquid that sprays across his mouth. A fucking mess.
“A-men…” Cum and slick bubbling down his rosy mouth n’ fangs, he babbles. Catching sight of the bleeding orange of the sun rise, “Oh, it’s time.”
Time for him to lick up the last few tingles of your orgasm. Time for him to keep pinning you down to his face as he turns his head towards your thighs and bites.
Hard.
Puncturing.
And just as soon as the hot crimson of your blood leaks into his mouth, Gojo finds himself smiling. “May God never forgive me.”
A different kind of mark, the book had claimed. And sure enough your body flashes hot- something churning inside your blood vessels. Something that makes him tenderly flip the two of you over so that you can lay across the ruined sheets-
Only for him to take sweet, sweet advantage of the crook of your neck and bite. Once more. Then twice on the other side, just to make sure. Just because he couldn’t stop himself.
Six hundred years.
Six hundred years that he had been searching for you.
You’re wheezing out weakly, “Satoru…”
Now to finally, finally find you.
“Rest. The transformation from human to vampire is quite taxing.” Gojo hushes you, ivory lashes lowered in pure loving. He plants a kiss on the bloodied bite marks at your neck, fangs peeking out just enough to tease. “We have a long eternity together, my beloved.”
.
.
[Excerpt from ‘Scripture of Shadows’: Latest published edition, author unknown.]
‘Chapter Six: The Vampyre’s Beloved
Many are unaware of the one weakness of the vampyre: their one true love. Yes, reader, the fated mate, only poetically comparable to a ‘soulmate’, is one that can induce a different kind of bite in the blood-thirsty vampyre.
It is an unexplainable soul tie that happens merely once in eternity - one that provokes even the most blasphemous creature of the vampyre to tear down heaven and hell. One such known vampyre in search was the famed Gojo Satoru, almighty of even these shadowed beings.
But through my journeys, I have found that our despicable being has come to find his fated mate, as of late. The latest whispers within the shadowed realm speak of an atypically happy life, and an even happier bride—expectably, leaving bloodied wedding favors behind.
Some even claim an heir of the Darkness to be within reach, God have mercy.
Six hundred years of terror, and it seems that He has found even the most undeserving worthy of being loved. Being seen.
For, perhaps even the cruelest of creatures can love.
Amen.’
A/N. Omg y’all I had to get permission from like five of my Christian friends before I could post this erm- obvi disclaimer that this isn’t a true representation of Christianity!!
Plagiarism not authorized.
#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#tonywrites
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long awaited part three of lowselfesteem!reader and simon
part two
invisible clothes
that’s what you called them, the rags you don when you have to integrate with the general population but you would much rather not be noticed. clothing that is so bland that it isn’t nice enough catch an eye but not hideous enough to catch any negative attention
you had told simon about them once, when he called you out on wearing them every time you stepped out in public, including your dates with him. especially since he knew you had a very elaborate wardrobe with a tailored sense of style
clearly they aren’t invisible enough to hide you from johnny’s guilty eyes from across the store aisle. you sigh when he comes up to you, tapping your shoulder to get your attention. he shifts uncomfortably on his feet
“I know ye probably hate ma guts, lass but ye should ken that simon shut down all of that bet talk after your first date. Ah just bring et up to annoy ‘im.” johnny says, with a nervous chuckles at the end. you don’t laugh alongside him
“okay, fair enough. look, he’s miserable without ye! he comes to the pub just to get pished and mope about how he fucked it all up with ye.” johnny continues, a pleading look in his eyes, “he’s supposed to he coming by to drop off some things of yours tomorrow. just hear him out, please, lass.”
you roll your eyes at him, continuing to grab what you need from the shelves in front of you. not even bothering to look him in the eyes when you finally begin to speak
"why should I? why am I always expected to think of other people even when they hurt me? you and simon didn't think about me or my feelings when you made your stupid bet. neither of you stopped to consider that I was just a person who simply wanted to be left alone." you say with a scoff, "he'll be lucky if I don't slam the door in his face."
johnny shifts on his feet, looking down at the floor since he feels too uncomfortable to look directly at you, "fair enough. take care've yerself, hen."
you bite back tears as you watch him skulk off in the corner of your eye. you stand there for a few more minutes, staring at the stacked shelves in front of you to distract you from the war raging inside of your head
-
it's late at night, nearly midnight, when there's a knock at your door. you let out a sigh, already knowing who was disturbing your doomscrolling at this hour. and when you open the door, you see him. you’re brooding prick of an ex-boyfriend. he at least has the decency to look guilty, like a dog caught ripping up the couch cushions
except he wasn’t a dog, he was the love of your life. and your heart isn’t so easily replaced like a cushion. though he definitely treated it like somewhere to rest his head
“hey.”
you scoff, you’re not sure why. there isn’t anything inherently wrong with what he said but it still annoyed you. he annoyed you. with his stupid stormy eyes and his stupid jokes and freckled shoulders that you used to connect like dots late at night
“just give me my stuff and go, simon. don’t have time for this bullshit.”
he doesn’t flinch. he saw that hit coming, and sometimes you gotta let them swing at you especially when you know that you deserve much worse
the exchange is quick, a box with small memories passed over to you. a couple items of clothing, a book and some toiletries. before you can slam the door in his face, he jams his heavy boot into it
“wait… love, I… there’s somethin’ else. I never gave it to you but it’s yours. got it for you and I’ll never give it to anyone else.”
the glare you give him only falters when he places a small velvet box in your hand, he pauses the speech you can definitely feel coming on. looking at you expectantly to open it. you do, waiting for him to laugh at you when you find nothing in there. ridicule you for even thinking he would consider making you his wife
but all he does it look on solemn, the beautiful ring twinkling as a devastating reminder of what could have been
“I kno’ I ‘ave no right to ask. I wouldn’t insult you like tha’ lovie. you can hate me, I deserve it. but you don’t deserve it. I won’t let you hurt yourself over what I did. you deserve to know the real extent of how bad I fucked up. maybe it’ll help to look at tha’ ring and know that I’ll spend the rest of my life having to know I lost the woman who should be my wife.”
there’s no chance to respond, not like you’d know what to say anyway,
“I’m sorry.”
and then he’s gone.
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Midnight Tryst
The garden is never silent:in a clear sky stars descant,leaves rustle, a distant owlhoots, and a cat’s on the prowl. It’s not dark. Fragile lightfills each crevice of the night,emanating from a silver balloon:my spectral paramour – the moon. Kim M. Russell, 13th November 2023 Image by Josh Miller on Unsplash De is our host for the dVerse Poets Pub Quadrille this Monday, and she’s looking for…
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very mild 18+ simon riley x reader
lmaoo i can't breathe Simon Riley is just a man.
atleast to you.
when he's home, all he is to you is dry humor, a couple beers every night, sat in front of the tv on his spot on the couch, the game is playing - some soccor or rugby match. he doesn't wear his mask, his clothes are a simple t-shirt and some pair of shorts he just threw on.
he uses your shampoo and conditioner, as much as it pisses you off because it's expensive and for some reason he uses half the fucking bottle everytime he's home, but when he does the groceries he still comes home with '2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner' he would’ve got the '3 in 1' but the last time he did that he got no head for 3 weeks.
he'll go to the pub, take you out, pushes the trolley, holds your bag, let's you dress how you want it, belly gets a little soft because he eats food like he's never ate before, buy you anything you want even after the 'do you really need it though?' talk.
he's bit lazy on workouts only goes on the occasional run, but will fuck you whenever you want; always vanilla and only gets rough when you ask.
he will say he'll fix whatever appliance needs tending too but won't do it right away, starts the occasional handyman job at odd times.
it's just - he's so mundane and normal that you'd never know just how dangerous he is ???? like he so carefully hides that side from you. seriously. when he's home, he throws his gear in the bottom of his closet in a box, locking Ghost away and just existing as Simon.
even when the rest of the task force come around on the occasion. they're so normal and are just... men. yelling at the tv during a sport match. teasing each other. stealing snacks and helping with cleaning. they never speak about work and when you ask them, it's always a smile and shrug, "just another day really." "little boring and slow." "oh not too bad." their answers are so half-assed, that you don't even ask anymore; which is what they want.
but you really aren't missing anything. not when you don't even know what you're missing out on.
it's crazy, because he even keeps Ghost hidden when you're being harassed by men. whether that be when you're shopping or just going for a walk.
he'll loop an arm around your waist or over your shoulder, look at the guy with a grin - that's more of a sneer, "can i help you, mate?" he'll drawl. his stature and stare is enough to make the man who had been harassing you back off.
"what a freak..." you mutter with a roll of your eyes, letting Simon guide you away as he presses a kiss to your temple, a deep chuckle leaving him.
around midnight you wake up to Simon in the laundry room washing his hands. he doesn't blink or hesitate when you wonder in and wrap your arms around his waist. "what're you doing?" you mumble, sleepy eyss dropping to the sink.
Simon's hands are red, and you would be alarmed, should be alarmed. but how could you when Simon hums softly, a sound that rumbles deep from his throat, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. he's so warm and casual that you don't even do a touble take seeing the blood.
"caught a rat. right pest they are. the trap i set snapped it clean in half." Simon's mutters, he raises a bloodied hand to you, sniggering when you crinkle your nose up in disgust and step away from him.
"ew, i'm going back to bed." you huff, yawning and leaving him to what he was doing.
Simon laughs softly as you head off. "just be a sec, love." he says as you go. all he receives is a yawn and a tired 'mhm'.
he cleans his hands and then his phone chimes. he pulls it out and it's a private message.
'getting rid of your pest now, LT.'
image attached
Simon opens the picture and sure enough there's the man from earlier in the boot of a car. all bloodied like Ghost left him.
Simon heads back upstairs to your shared room, you quietly snoozing away. you don't steer or wake as the closet door opens and Simon's putting his mask back in with his gear. No. Ghost is too quiet to let you wake from such a warm and sweet sleep.
he turns from the closet after putting everything away and changing clothes. he crawls into his side of the bed and wraps his arms around you. letting your body nestle back into his side. limbs tangling together.
just you and your simon.
a/n: inspired by a tik tok video on how he is just a man lmaooo
#my post#x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon x reader#ghost cod#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#cod mwii
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Bite Me
Chris Dixon SMUT ChrisMD/female reader.
Chris has a habit of biting his friends when drunk, one night it goes even further



Chris Dixon, known to millions as ChrisMD, had built his reputation opening FIFA packs before moving to football challenges and written and sometimes cheesy jokes. However, among his close circle of friends, he was known for something a little more bizarre: his habit of biting people when he’d had a few too many drinks, his fans were starting to see it more too as his videos started to feature alcohol more and more.
No one was entirely sure how it started. Some blamed a raucous night out in Ibiza. Others swore it was during one of the Sidemen charity matches when Chris, newly single for a few months and overtaken by adrenaline and too much post-match beer, had sunk his teeth into Harry Lewis’ broad shoulder. Whatever the origin, the biting had become a staple of Chris’s intoxicated antics, it was like it was now a meme of sorts but it real life. Every night out it happened and everyone would wait to see who the unlucky victim would be. It wasn’t an aggressive or malicious action from Chris, more like a spontaneous, drunken act of camaraderie. His friends had come to accept it as one of his peculiarities, though that didn’t mean they were entirely okay with it.
In particular George and Arthur Frederick were the ones who protested the most, George remembers the first time it happened to him. The group was gathered at George, Chris and Arthur’s flat for a casual evening. Pizza boxes were stacked on the counter, and the remnants of some games lay scattered across the living room. As the clock ticked toward midnight, Chris’s cheeks were flushed from laughter and a few cans of lager.
George had just finished recounting an embarrassing story about the time he fell into a fountain during a Tiktok he was recording roughly two years ago when Chris pounced.
“Mate, you’re such an idiot,” Chris said, staggering toward George with a grin.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” George replied, shaking his head.
Before George could react, Chris leaned in and chomped on his shoulder.
“OW! What the—Chris!” George yelped, pulling away.
"It’s affection!" Chris declared, grinning. "It’s like a hug but more memorable."
George rolled his eyes. "You’re a menace."
The room erupted in laughter.
“There it is!” ArthurTV declared, pointing at Chris. “The Dixon Bite™. Knew it was coming.”
“It’s like clockwork,” Arthur Hill added, shaking his head.
George rubbed his shoulder, half laughing, half glaring. “You’re like a drunk toddler, mate. What is wrong with you?”
Chris, unfazed, raised his can of beer in mock salute. “I told you it’s affection, George. Pure, unfiltered affection.”
Most of the time though it was usually Arthur Frederick, also known as ArthurTV who was on the receiving end of the Dixon chomp.
The first time it happened on camera was during Chris’s first pub golf video, they were a long time into the video and a lot of alcohol had been consumed. They were sat outside on a wooden bench, others were ready to get up and leave with only Chris, Arthur and a cameraman remaining.
“These arms have so little fat on them” Chris slurred as he attempted to pinch the bicep and got his face right up to the muscle in order to admire it. Arthur paid absolutely no attention to his old school friend as he was playing chess on his phone. Suddenly though the brunettes attention was grabbed by the mistakable feelings of two small rows on teeth on his bicep, he looked and there was Chris hanging from his arm.
“Get off me,” Arthur cried and shrugged the smaller man off who could only give a very drunken giggle in response.
“I am the envy of every girl in my Youtube comments right now.”
There was one person who was very bemused by the whole thing, and that was Y/N. Y/N was a relative newcomer to the Youtube scene, she had started out on TikTok but had branched out to Youtube over the past eighteen months, it was a very similar story to George so because of that the two became quite good friends. She could be incredibly sassy, which was good considering she spent a lot of time keeping in check a lot of rowdy boys.
The group were out for karaoke, it had become quite a staple for all of them, joining the aforementioned group of George, Chris, the Arthur’s and Y/N was another relative newcomer to the content creating scene; Italian Bach. Dutch courage was always needed for people to get up in front of a crowd and sing, and that also meant that everyone was waiting for Chris to pounce, today it was Arthur Hill’s turn.
“You haven’t eaten dinner and with your stature that can only spell disaster, here have this,” Arthur suggested as he pushed a bottle of water in Chris’s direction.
“You’re a good mate, Arthur,” he said, accepting the water. Then, without warning, he lunged and bit Arthur’s upper arm, his mouth still wet from the beverage.
Arthur froze, staring at Chris in disbelief. “You’ve got to be joking.”
“Consider it a thank you,” Chris said, grinning.
Arthur sighed, shaking his head. “You know, one day someone’s going to bite you back, and you’re not going to like it.”
Y/N shook her head from her seat. “You’re like an overexcited puppy, Chris. Maybe someone needs to get you a chew toy.” Y/N and Chris had a budding friendship, it was really awkward at first as the pair didn’t know how much they had in common until they both really got to know each other more. Chris really liked the when Y/N took charge too, he needed a girl just like that to keep him on the straight and narrow. Not that he needed parenting or anything but he knew he sometimes took things too far and needed someone to tell him when it was enough and when he needed to wind his neck in. Chris stared at Y/N intensely, she gave back a slightly bemused expression as she watched him bite his lower lip slightly.
“Or my cock… wait what?” ArthurTV added trying to cut the tension.
Nights out with the group were very often, especially for the group who lived together and Arthur and Y/N tagged along often as they were all single. As Bach had a girlfriend he wasn’t always present. The group this time was missing Bach as well as Arthur Hill who was busy rehearing for his upcoming tour. Chris was particularly buoyant that night, fueled by tequila shots and the high of securing a girls number. Y/N was standing at the bar, chatting with George, when Chris appeared out of nowhere.
"Y/N!" he exclaimed, throwing an arm around her shoulders. "You’re a legend. An absolute legend."
"Thanks, Chris," Y/N said, laughing. "You’re not so bad yourself."
Before she could say more, she felt his teeth on her upper arm as it was exposed by her sleeveless top
"Chris!" she shouted, jerking away. "Did you just bite me?"
"It’s a compliment!" Chris insisted, grinning. "Means I like you." This was the first time Chris had done it too her and when he let go and looked at Y/N he had such a cheeky look on his face, she tried to be angry but couldn’t help but laugh at the dopey expression, it was quite cute plus she liked the idea she had sort of now been through the initiation ceremony to join the group. She felt like it was a rite of passage she had just gone through.
She stared at him, half-annoyed, half-amused. "You’re lucky I don’t bite back."
The idea must have planted itself in Y/N’s mind, because the next time they were out, she decided to test his theory, They were at another bar. Chris was his usual tipsy self, moving through the group like a whirlwind of energy. Y/N watched as he playfully bit ArthurTV on the shoulder before bursting into laughter.
“You’re going to pick on the wrong person one day,” Y/N mused finished her drink and placing it on the table behind her.
“Hey, I have never had any complaints about my mouth skills before now,”
“You are so full of it aren’t you?”
“You want to be filled…” While Chris was distracted by talking Y/N leaned in and bit him on the arm—not too hard, but enough to make him yelp.
"Ow!" Chris exclaimed, clutching his arm. "What was that for?"
"Just returning the favour," Y/N said, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
Chris stared at her for a moment, then burst into laughter. "Alright, fair play.”
The rest of the night, there was a palpable shift in the dynamic between Chris and Y/N. They found themselves gravitating toward each other, the biting incident breaking down some unspoken barrier. Their banter was sharper, their laughter louder, and there was a spark in their interactions that hadn’t been there before.
At one point, they were sitting at a table, sharing a plate of chips. Y/N reached for the last one, and Chris playfully swatted her hand away.
"Hey!" she protested. "I’m hungry."
"So am I," Chris said, popping the chip into his mouth with a cheeky grin.
"You’re impossible," Y/N said, shaking her head. But she was smiling.
Chris leaned in slightly, his voice softer. "And yet, you’re still here."
Y/N felt her cheeks flush but didn’t look away. "Maybe I like impossible."
They stayed like that for a moment, the noise of the bar fading into the background. Then, without thinking, Chris closed the distance between them and kissed her.
Y/N didn’t pull away. Instead, she kissed him back, her hand resting lightly on his arm. When they finally broke apart, Chris looked at her, a mix of surprise and delight on his face.
"I didn’t see that coming," he admitted.
"Me neither," Y/N said, laughing softly. "But I’m not complaining."
Chris smiled and leaned in again, the kiss wasn’t as soft this time, less tentative and more passionate. Y/N kissed back with full gusto, letting out a small moan when she felt a slight nibble on her bottom lip.
It felt like moments until the pair were in an Uber, Chris’s hand moving up Y/N’s leg the further they got to his flat. The lift ride was quiet and as soon as they reached the black front door to the flat Y/N was pinned against it Chris kissing her again. They fumbled their way to the bedroom Y/N knocking into a plant as they went discarding clothes along the way.
Y/N moaned as Chris’s kisses and light nibbles moved down her jawline and neck.
“You like that?” Chris smirked peppering his kisses lower, removing Y/N’s shirt and bra before carefully placing one her breasts in his mouth.
“Fuck Chris,” Y/N gasped as he liked and again gently bit her where she was most sensitive.
“God you moaning my name is sexy,” he whispered removing Y/N’s underwear. He planted kisses up her thigh, too slowly for Y/N’s liking “Chris please I need you,” she managed to breathe out, that was all Chris needed before his tongue made contact with Y/N’s clit causing her to moan incredibly loudly. It was an ongoing joke that Chris had recently had a lot of practice with women but Y/N was now reaping those rewards massively as Chris was showing her he knew exactly what he was doing, eating her out, his tongue working wonders as a hand massaged her clit simultaneously. Y/N’s breath quickened and her moans loudened as she felt the familiar feeling bubbling in the pit of her stomach, but she also wanted Chris to get his.
“Come here,” she demanded pushing Chris’s face from her pussy and forcing him to look at her. He removed his boxers and was surprised as Y/N pushed him back slightly and Y/N crawled onto Chris’s lap kissing him as she lowered herself onto him, lotus was one of her favourite positions. She bounced on him with as much gusto as she had, only stopping to moan slightly when Chris kissed her, adding the odd bite. Soon enough the pair entered a climax shortly after another before collapsing exhausted in the bed.
Chris was awake first the next morning, he went to grab a coffee hearing that George and Arthur were already awake.
“And where did you get off to last night?” George asked with a smirk as he leaned against the breakfast bar.
“What do you mean?” Chris tried to shrug it off as he poured his cup of morning.
“Well there’s the fact you left without saying goodbye last night, then when we came home we find the plant half hanging off the table, tripped over women’s shoes and some very obvious sounds,” Arthur replied also smirking as he grabbed his cup.
“Well it sounds like you’ve already made your minds up,” Chris shrugged, he looked up at the creaking door to his room and Y/N walked in wearing her outfit from the night before. Her big eyes went even bigger as she saw three men staring back at her she quickly tried to scramble for an excuse.
“I erm.. got too drunk and Chris bought me back here, being a gentleman though he slept on the floor…”
“Y/N that would be so much more convincing if it wasn’t for the fact your neck and shoulder looks like you’ve had cupping treatment,” George replied. Y/N walked towards a mirror and sure enough Chris has definitely made his mark.
“Chris we really need to talk about this biting thing,” she sighed.
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Minx Part 2
Minx is a placeholder name, maybe Part 1, Masterpost CW: references to drug use, allusions to past torture, grabbing
Jason had to suck in several careful breaths as he took in the wound splashed across Danny’s ribs. “No fucking John did that to you and if they did—” if they took some sort of hot poker to Danny’s side— “I’ll kill them if they did.”
Danny blinked up at the ceiling, avoiding Jason’s gaze. “So the John thing may be a cover story?”
“Fuck’n—” Jason clenched and unclenched his hands, trying to work out the urge to punch someone. It wouldn’t do any good with no target to punch. Jason had kept an eye on Danny, best as he could without being invasive, and the other seemed clean of Gotham’s shit. “What are you messed up in Danny? Is it someone’s business? Did you see something you shouldn’t on the job? Hear something?”
“No— I mean, yeah I’ve heard things, but nothing to do with this. This is,” Danny’s hand moved to cover up the mark, as if hiding it would make the problem go away. “This is just some shit from my past catching up with me. It’s nothing you need to worry about, Boss, it’s not Gotham business.”
Jason held back a growl, pushed it back into his chest. “Did it happen in Gotham?”
“No, it happened down in sunny Florida— of course it happened in Gotham.”
“Then it’s fucking Gotham business.”
“Yeah, fuck it is, you stay away from it,” Danny snapped with a smile like a bear trap. He got up and grabbed his shirt with a waver. “Dealt with it anyway. It’s done and—”
Danny froze as Jason reached out to grab his arm.
“Danny—”
“You let go of me, Hood. I don’t care who the fuck you are, you do not grab me like this. No one grabs me like this.”
Jason slowly, carefully, lowered his hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to fall over but I shouldn’t have stopped you like that.”
“You fuck’n shouldn’t have.”
“I shouldn’t have,” Jason soothed. He wasn’t good at soothing, not any more, but he would try if it would stop Danny walking out of there injured like that. “Just sit back down and let me treat the wound. I’ll stop asking questions.”
Danny sized him up, eyes sharp with the perfect winged liner. Then he sighed and sat back down.
“Thank you,” Jason murmured as he rummaged around in the well stocked first aid kit for something to treat burn wounds. “How bad is the pain.”
Danny shrugged. He had his chin on his hand and was purposefully not looking at Jason.
Guess he was still in the dog house then.
“This will help the topical pain, but I know burns hurt deep. I’d like to give you something. Have you been drinking tonight?”
“You found me outside a pub,” Danny answered dryly.
“Doesn’t mean you were drinking, Danny, I know you know how to fake it.”
Danny sighed and tilted his head to glance up at Jason. He looked tired now, like the glamor had finally worn off with the stroke of midnight.
“Yeah, I was drinking. Helps with the pain and I knew I could take those shits drunk off my fake tits.”
“Bet you could,” Jason said, allowing himself a little smirk behind his helmet. He’s seen Danny play pool before and it was a thing of wounder. “Okay, we’ll do an IV then, rehydrate you and get some pain medication in your system in one go.”
“IV?” Danny repeated, his voice small.
“It won’t hurt, I can put them in smoothly,” Jason said as he started to work on treating the wound.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re real gently like,” there was a wobble under Danny’s bravado and twang, “but I’m not much fond of needles.”
“I’ll be here. I won’t leave you alone with it in.”
Danny snorted. “Yeah, gonna hold me the whole night so I don’t panic?”
“If that’s what will help,” Jason answered without hesitation. He could feel Danny watching him, judging him for that statement, but Jason just kept carefully working on the wound.
“Don’t be stupid, you can’t wear your helmet the whole night,” Danny said as if that would be the catch.
“Then I’ll take it off before I hold you the whole night so that you don’t panic.”
“Will you?”
“Said I would, didn’t I?”
Jason smoothed on the last of the gel.
“Yeah… okay,” Danny said with a tired sigh. “Okay, let’s try the IV.”
-
Jason sat with his back against the arm of the couch and the pillow propped there. One leg was against the back cushion and the other on the ground still. Danny, make-up washed off and dressed in a set Tim sized sweats, was tucked back against Jason’s chest.
It was easier to sit that way than take Danny staring at his face covered only in a domino and black hair spray on the white streak.
Jason gently ran an alcohol wipe over the inside of Danny’s arm.
And froze.
“Not what you think.” Danny’s voice sounded small and far away. “Hood, breathe.”
Jason sucked an unsteady breath. “What?”
“I said it’s not what you think. I’m not using. I was… sickly, when I was a teen. It’s— that’s why I don’t like IVs and needles and stuff.”
“Promise?”
“And cross my heart,” Danny said, going through the motion. “Girl Scout’s honor.”
Jason barked out a laugh that was still a little too sharp. “Yeah and I was a Boy Scout.”
“I don’t you, you do a lot of community service,” Danny said, draping his head back over Jason’s shoulder.
“Yeah, well, I work with different birds than eagles.”
Danny’s nose scrunched up.
Jason liked it better when he could see Danny’s pale freckles.
“Eagle Scouts are the highest level of Boy Scouts,” Jason explained.
“Why the fuck do you even know that?”
“I know a lot of shit,” Jason said.
Danny flinched at the pinch of the needle, but Jason had a good grip on Danny’s arm and was able to get the IV in fully. Jason soothed his thumb over it after he taped the IV down.
“There you are.”
“Don’t leave.”
“I won’t,” Jason promised. “I’m right here.”
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Killer Relationship Headcanons

Summary: A collection of headcanons about being in a relationship with Killer
Genre: Fluff
CW: None // SFW
———
Killer fell first and fell harder. He didn’t realize it was happening at first, he was just as shocked as you were to realize he turned into a rabid dog when anyone so much as mentioned your name, fighting anyone who so much as looked at you the wrong way. Even more shocking was the sweeter side you brought out of him.
You had no idea what was happening in Killer’s head. To you, Killer was just a crew mate, and not just any crew mate: the first mate. You had the wherewithal to clock the man in the mask as emotionally unavailable and that was that. Sure, you often went for drinks together, but only with the whole crew, and yeah, you laughed at the same jokes and ate the same meals, but it was as crew mates, the lines clearly drawn and the knowledge that he was dangerous always in the back of your head.
But then he started doing things for you.
He started making a different side at dinner because the one he was serving everyone else wasn’t something you would eat. He started giving you the best piece of dessert, much to Kid’s chagrin. He started stepping aside when it came time to board the Victoria Punk to allow you to board first. He started scaring off men at pubs and taverns before they ever got the change to be rejected by you. Oh, and he started intervening in all of your fights.
You take the fighting bit personally, never having considered he was into you. You think he’s just underestimating you, thinking you can’t hold your own in a fight. This leads you to confront him one night, more than prepared to duel him to prove your worth as a pirate and warrior. He shocks you by coming clean and confessing his feelings for you, though not exactly in a romantic way. It’s more like he’s pissed off by your accusations and snaps at you that he can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt. He storms off afterwards.
It takes you a few days to process what he told you because it makes you see him in a completely different light. Gone is the cold-blooded killer you shared a ship with, here is the man who has been taking care of you in small ways without you even realizing. And the most shocking part is how the idea of him stopping makes your chest ache. You grew accustomed to his affection without even realizing.
You wait until around midnight, when you know he goes into the shower alone, and follow him in. He lets you see him without his mask, and you share your first kiss. That’s that, and from that point forward, the two of you are an item.
The shower becomes the main place the two of you spend alone time together. Killer finds it easier to let his guard down. He’s going to take his mask off anyway to wash up, which makes it easier to do with you around. He’s able to convince himself it’s not a big deal, and the fact that you’re so cool about it helps. His face is a secret the two of you share, as are his kisses and kind words and difficult past.
You’re his safe space and he’s yours.
Don’t expect him to stop intervening in your fights now that you share his bed every night. He claims it’s because you’re too slow and he got to the enemies first, or because you looked like you already had your hands full, but you know the real reason he jumps in.
He always keeps one of the counters clear in the kitchen so you can sit on it while he cooks. Everything that lands on the table is tasted by you first.
Merciless teasing by Kid (he’s just jealous).
After he eats his fruit, you realize not all of his laughs are the same, and you learn to read his emotions based on the different laughs, speaking a language he hates but is oh so grateful to you for learning.
This is the sort of thing your relationship is built on- subtleties. It’s what made him fall in love with you and it’s the reason he would kill or die for you.
———
Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!
#one piece#one piece headcanons#one piece x reader#one piece fluff#killer headcanons#killer x reader#killer one piece#one piece eustass#eustass kid#kid pirates
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