#misinterpretation of legolas

[winwin17]

Don't mind me, I'm just here to ramble about the frequent misinterpretation of Legolas.

In a lot of fan content, I tend to see him get portrayed as a feminine, scatterbrained diva or something along that line. He's depicted as girly and overly dramatic. It's not like I haven't been entertained by the memes about Legolas and his hair products or stuff like that, but hear me out - just because he's pretty doesn't mean he's girly or shallow (equating those two things is another separate issue altogether).

The thing is, even though he's pretty and has perfect hair, he's actually quite masculine, and his actor even has quite classically masculine features (face and physique). What's more, Legolas is an elf. Elves don't need beauty products, and I doubt most of them would care much for them anyway. They're naturally like the most beautiful creatures. Both the dudes and the ladies have long hair, so in that context, that feature doesn't necessarily suggest girlishness to me. Anyway, this is basically to say that I don't care for the self-absorbed, appearance-focused, girly diva interpretation of Legolas I see in fan content. There's much more to him than that.

The movies unfortunately gave Legolas his reputation as a Captain Obvious, which does him a disservice in bringing out this depiction of Legolas as a ditsy, dumb guy with an empty head. (It probably wasn't the intention, but it's a byproduct nonetheless.) Besides being portrayed as a Captain Obvious, another disservice done to him by the movies is the emphasis on Legolas as a cool action guy, superhero level, and maybe even invincible. But book Legolas is actually more human(?). That is to say, he gets scared and downhearted and cries just like all the rest of the Fellowship. While it's true that even in the books he does tend to maintain a more optimistic, lighthearted disposition than the others, he's still imperfect. He's still a person with hopes and fears and dreams and feelings, and he's not beyond forgetting the words to songs. ;p Yes, he cracks jokes, but he also does "not wish to go to Moria," and he grumbles when he has to be blindfolded in Lorien. Pretty relatable on many levels.

None of this is meant to be a book purist's rude degradation of movie Legolas, but just to lament the way I personally feel he is so misinterpreted and misrepresented. Legolas isn't shallow or one-dimensional. He's brave, he's strong, he's caring, and he's open-minded enough to take risks and make connections that are unconventional. He's respectful to his leaders, he's passionate about saving the world, destroying the Ring, and rescuing Merry and Pippin. He's helpful and committed to the Fellowship even though he doesn't have to be. He's compassionate towards people he doesn't have to care about.

So while we have characters like Boromir who are so frequently misunderstood and misrepresented, let's have some justice for Legolas, too.

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

Someone asked me to expand a little on a topic that was buried down in a big chain of reblogs, so I'm doing that here--it's about the use of the archaic "thee", "thou", "thy", etc. in LOTR and what it tells you about characters’ feelings for one another. (I am NOT an expert on this, so it's just what I've picked up over time!)

Like many (most?) modern English speakers, I grew up thinking of those old forms of 2nd person address as being extra formal. I think that's because my main exposure to them was in the Bible ("thou shall not...") and why wouldn't god, speaking as the ultimate authority, be using the most formal, official voice? But it turns out that for a huge chunk of the history of the English language, "thee," "thou," and "thy" were actually the informal/casual alternatives to the formal "you", “your”, “yours”. Like tú v. usted in Spanish!

With that in mind, Tolkien was very intentional about when he peppered in a "thee" or a "thou" in his dialogue. It only happens a handful of times. Most of those are when a jerk is trying to make clear that someone else is beneath them by treating them informally. Denethor "thou"s Gandalf when he’s pissed at him. The Witch King calls Éowyn "thee" to cut her down verbally before he cuts her down physically. And the Mouth of Sauron calls Aragorn and Gandalf "thou" as a way to show them that he has the upper hand. (Big oops by all 3 of these guys!)

The other times are the opposite--it's when someone starts to use the informal/casual form as a way to show their feeling of affection for someone else. Galadriel goes with the formal "you" all through the company's days in Lórien, but by the time they leave she has really taken them to heart. So when she sends them a message via Gandalf early in the Two Towers, she uses "thee" and "thou" in her words to Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli because now they're valued friends and allies. And--this is the big one, folks, that was already alluded to in my previous post--Éowyn starts aggressively "thou"ing Aragorn when she is begging him to take her along as he prepares to ride out of Dunharrow. She is very intentionally trying to communicate her feelings to him in her choice of pronoun--an "I wouldn't be calling you "thee" if I didn't love you" kind of thing. And he is just as intentionally using "you" in every single one of his responses in order to gently establish a boundary with her without having to state outright that he doesn't reciprocate her feelings. It's not until much later when her engagement to Faramir is announced that Aragorn finally busts out "I have wished thee joy ever since I first saw thee". Because now it is safe to acknowledge a relationship of closeness and familiarity with her without the risk that it will be misinterpreted. He absolutely wants to have that close, familiar relationship, but he saved it for when he knew she could accept it on his terms without getting hurt.

So, you know, like all things language-based...Tolkien made very purposeful decisions in his word choices down to a bonkers level of detail. I didn’t know about this pronoun thing until I was a whole ass adult, but that’s the joy of dealing with Tolkien. I still discover new things like this almost every time I re-read.

[oatmealaddiction]

People in the LoTR fandom who keep saying things like "I hate all the Shipping" and "Why can't tumblr people just enjoy male friendships," or whatever. I know you're not trying to be homophobic and this probably sounds like a neutral statement to you that people who read the characters as gay are misinterpreting it somehow, but you can't say you're all for "non-toxic representations of masculinity" and then in the same breath say that making characters gay and in love undoes that representation somehow.

Many of the characters in Tolkien's work were inspired by friends he had in real life, and relationships he saw play out on the real battlefield, and there's no way to know what the nature of those relationships were. There's been some speculation one of Tolkien's friends who died young in World War I might have been a gay man. We know he was friends with a few queer authors and poets and that those works inspired his own. On top of that, World War I was kinda notable for being a huge turning point in queer culture, and there was an explosion of queer literature published post World War I because—as it turns out—when men and women are separated and social roles break down in circumstances of extreme violence and hardships—then same-sex relationships start to develop. When war breaks down the need for toxic male posturing—it also kinda breaks down the need to be seen as heterosexual. The fact characters like Sam and Frodo and Legolas and Gimli build intimate friendships that would have been considered un-likely or even un-seemly outside of wartime due to the social roles those characters occupy—like, there's a context there. Maybe you don't recognize it, and maybe Toklien himself didn't realize it was there, but that doesn't mean queer readers are wrong when they pick up on it. There were men on the battlefield in World War I who sought comfort with one another in a platonic way, and there were men on the battlefield in World War I who sought comfort in romantic way, and both are important. It's gross to say that only the former was Tolkien's focus, and that the latter being included in Lord of the Rings would somehow ruin the story or do a disservice to the memory of straight men. If Tolkien was all that concerned with providing good and positive examples of masculinity like you say he was, then why would he exclude queerness from masculinity? Why is it so important that these characters can love each other, but only in a platonic and socially acceptable way?

[hobbitwrangler]

Character breakdown: Finduilas of course! (Not that I need to specify for you, but for the readers if/when you answer this we are talking Finduilas of Dol Amroth and not Finduilas of Developed Unfortunate Feelings for Túrin)

How I feel about this character: I am Obsessed with her. Which is so ironic because for the longest time I didn't have strong feelings either way concerning Finduilas, but now she's one of my ultimate blorbos. There's just something about taking what we know about her - her attachment to the sea, her fear of Mordor, her depression and fading - and building a character around that which has been so rewarding.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I feel like Théoden is the main one give that I have written far too many words about them. What can I say, I really enjoy writing two people having metaphorical conversations about their own feelings. Also Goldberry, because I love the idea of Finduilas as a water-creature and finding someone who understands that - also it's given me so much to play with concerning Finduilas' experience of gender roles. And also (bearing in mind that I headcanon Oropher's widow to be alive and a-wandering) I like the idea of them meeting and having weird romantic tension when she's pregnant with Faramir, partly because it adds an extra dimension to Legolas' friendship with Faramir.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Her and Ivriniel, for sure. I cannot write an Ivriniel fic without mentioning Finduilas and I cannot write a Finduilas fic without mentioning Ivriniel. They miss each other so much and I'm obsessed with them. However, I've really enjoyed writing her interacting with Éowyn, given their different but complimentary experiences with gender, and it's just occurred to me that it would have been so cool to have her and Legolas interact given his sea-longing and my headcanon that Finduilas has a very elf-like weird connection to the sea.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't know what is/isn't popular concerning Finduilas but I don't think she wanted kids. She didn't not want kids and she loved them both so much and was a fairly good mother to them given the circumstances, but I believe she had kids because it was what was expected and I think motherhood was something she definitely had to work on and make a big effort with, effort which she unfortunately did not have the energy for, particularly after Faramir was born.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: This is very tricky. I feel like I'm pretty happy with what happens to her, not because it's nice, but because of what it leaves open to explore, and how her character can be interpreted by us the readers and misinterpreted by characters in-universe (everyone has their own Finduilas, all of varying degrees of authenticity). However, I do wish that she was referenced more in canon. But also I just want her to be happy

[just-an-elf-with-the-socks]

I would like to defend Thranduil (not totally on basis of personal bias) in terms of his parenting because it does feel like the fandom tends to misinterpret it. I believe he was a better parent before the events of The Hobbit. I believe he was amazing, in fact. He’s clearly a character that feels things strongly, especially towards others, whether it be love or hate, and this absolutely affects the way he treats others.

These feelings, particularly his love, are very intense. His love most likely drove him to be the best father he could be to his son during those early days. But his love also manifested in extreme grief when his wife, Legolas’ mother, died. It was this love that drove him to isolate himself from everyone, including his own son. Thousands of years of neglect, while unintentional, hurt Legolas beyond belief and it wasn’t something Thranduil realized he did until it was too late.

Here’s where I make my argument. The fandom tends to portray him as cold and unfeeling towards Legolas constantly, sometimes even cruel. I’ve seen it in a lot of fics. Despite Thranduil being neglectful, despite him shutting his son out and handling his grief poorly, he loves Legolas more than anything. If he didn’t love Legolas he wouldn’t have sent him to find Aragorn. If he didn’t love Legolas he would have tried to make him or force him to stay.

In conclusion, Thranduil isn’t a great parent, not by a mile. But he loves Legolas and that’s something that shouldn’t be forgotten.

[samthepotterhead]

am I dumb or does beorn not look like a bear but more like a warg? and in man form he looks like a half transformed werewolf (like fenrir greyback in the movies).

sometimes I can't tell fili and thorin apart. I mean, they are related!

I only just remembered the spiders from the forbidden forest. another parallel between hp and lotr, but I totally glossed over that while reading the hobbit.

I don't know if I've said this before, but martin freeman is so perfect for this role. this inherit englishness and bourgeois vibe. and his body language and facial expressions!

elvish (I don't know which dialect/branch this is ok) sounds not so ethereal when spoken. I mean it was based on finnish, so…

that kili is considered tall for a dwarf works well with the fan theory/headcanon that he isn't fully dwarf.

was the silvan elf king featured this much in the book? and was he mentioned in thorin's back story at all? I honestly recall so little of the hobbit already... but again if it wasn't mentioned, it makes a lot of sense in the movie.

I think tauriel is a bit too human acting for an elf, they are usually so mysterious (legolas and the king are doing that). ok the guards were also in the book and not so elvish. maybe it's just a nobility thing.

I like the romance tbh. a pity they created the only female elf in the movie (apart from galadriel) for that, but better than zero like in the hobbit...

I always wonder how there are not a trillion elves since they can procreate but are basically immortal? like even if they go to the grey havens every once in a while, I'm sure many stay on?

is that balin's tomb? where is gandalf here? I'm a bit confused. but in general, the tie-in with the lotr plot works so well in this one.

ok the plot is quite significantly deviating from the book now. I'm not against it bc the lake town plot was super info-dumpy in the hobbit, but I also don't really need another basic male hero... but stephen fry I approve of! the counsellor gives off a very wormtonguey vibe. was this intentional? but man that was a lot of grossness in a few minutes.

the elves have exactly the weird springly step I imagined, I love the attention to detail :)

ok the secret door looks not so secret in this… but these sets are so intricate, I can't say it enough!

pretty sure the dwarf ring plot was not in the hobbit. will it be in lotr?

smaug, guarding a plot-wise important item is exactly like the dragon in gringotts in dh. though that is of course also originally from norse mythology. at any rate, I didn't remember that smaug could talk? and bilbo has learned not to tell a random being his full name and species. good job, bilbo.

man this movie is long… feels much longer than the first one. they are stalling with these dragon scenes. the liquid gold and statue part was cool, but unneccessary.

they really kept the women-belong-to-the.house theme going here :/ only bard's son is allowed to run around town. and how come no one else in lake town saw the orcs on the roofs?

saving kili's life has become a full time job for tauriel. in general, the kili/tauriel scenes are cute, but adding nothing to the pregression of the plot at this point. but now it seems they've know each other before? maybe I'm misinterpreting.

oh my god, it's ed sheeran. why is he in every fantasy thing? (ok, only in got as well, that I know of, but still - weird that it happend twice right? etc.) wait, I actually know this song, this was in the charts. I never knew this was from the hobbit! it honestly sounds like an ai generated song though, with the words "fire", "mountain" and "desolation" put in as a prompt...

too stunned by this revelation to properly rate the movie now, but I guess I liked as a whole, it was only a bit too long and not as well plotted as the first one.

[velvet4510]

i saw these two people in the tolkien discord server i’m in say this, and while i can see their point (i 100% believe that men should be able to be affectionate without romantic undertones), i just feel like so many people get the wrong idea that samfro shippers merely see them as “gay and cute”

most of us accept all interpretations of their relationship, whether that’s soulmates, queer-platonic, romantic, etc

i was wondering what your opinion on this is??

Great question! SO sorry for the delay in responding. I hope to make my reply worth the wait. Also, this answer will be really long - sorry again - but I have many thoughts on this.

I completely agree that men should be able to be affectionate without it being romantic. Women do not have this problem of fearing open affection due to assumptions about sexuality, and I think it’s a terrible symptom of toxic masculinity for men to forbid themselves from showing affection out of fear of it being misinterpreted. LOTR is full of many beautiful examples of how men can be emotionally vulnerable with each other and how platonic friends can still physically express innocent affection (Aragorn’s kiss to Boromir’s forehead is a great example). Modern society should definitely follow the examples set by these characters.

The thing is, as a straight woman, I did not go into LOTR expecting to see any same-sex romances at all. And the majority of male friendships depicted in the book and films never gave me any sense of romantic undertones. Unlike many fans, I do not ship Legolas and Gimli because I recognize that their relationship is a bridge between Elves and Dwarves, proof that they can get along, that despite their differences, they can still find common ground and respect each other and be friends. This to me is a far more important message than a generic “forbidden romantic love story” that many view their relationship as. Their bond isn’t necessarily about wanting to sleep together, but more about recognizing that they can like and be fond of each other, and not allow their parents or cultures to influence how they view each other. I do not hate the Gigolas ship, of course, and people can feel free to ship them if they want to. But to me, they fall under the category described in the discord that you have shared: their friendly intimacy does not necessarily signify anything romantic. Even their journey into the West together does not have to be a romantic thing; I see it as Gimli not wanting to say goodbye to any more of his friends, after losing Merry, Pippin, and Aragorn, and instead going on one last adventure with his soul-brother Legolas.

Frodo and Sam, however, have always stood out to me as being different from all the other friendships in LOTR. I didn’t even take any pause in the fact that they’re both male. I just saw two people in love. It’s just in how they are written, and in Elijah and Sean’s beautiful performances. I totally agree that ANY interpretation of their relationship is valid. I think it is very wrong for any shipper of these two to insult or declare someone “wrong” to see them as just friends. But it’s the same the other way around. It is unfair for non-shippers to hate on shippers. While the argument regarding Tolkien’s Catholicism is an understandable one, texts and characters do develop lives of their own over time. Texts are meant to be interpreted. Tolkien himself wrote that he did not want to enforce his own beliefs within the story, and instead preferred to leave it open to readers to apply their own views and perspectives to it. He basically was inviting us to make interpretations that deviate from his own. He may not have had sexuality in mind when he wrote this, but if he were alive, I very much doubt he’d be hypocritical enough to criticize people for doing the very thing he encouraged them to do, especially since he was smart enough to know that not every reader of his work was or would be Catholic, and thus may not see certain aspects the way he did.

The main, unchangeable, factual point about Frodo and Sam’s relationship is that they love each other. That’s it. They go from formal master and servant to two people who have been through hell and back together, and in the process, formed a bond that nobody else will ever understand. This point stands, whether their specific feelings for each other are platonic or romantic. To view them as lovers does not take away from or undermine the foundations of how Tolkien shaped their characters and the connection they build.

It also bothers me how those who criticize this ship use the word “gay.” Bear in mind, of course, that I’m not an actual member of the LGBT community, and I’m speaking based on my love for my many LGBT friends and relatives, and the efforts I’ve made to understand and empathize with this community, and to never be among those who hate people based on who they love. But I’ve learned enough by now to know that it is quite ignorant of people to truncate the idea of Frodo and Sam being in love as “they’re gay.” Sam is not gay, as shown by his love for Rosie. To ship Frodo and Sam is not to erase Rosie or pretend Sam doesn’t love her. Sam has the biggest heart of any fictional character I’ve ever seen, and I, like many shippers, don’t find it implausible that he has room enough in that heart to have two great loves.

On that note, I’ll now signify that in the text Frodo and Sam have many moments that no other pair of male characters have, which serve as actual potential evidence of a romance. It says in the text itself that he is “torn in two” between Frodo and Rosie. No other pair of male characters in LOTR has any moment like this. Aragorn does not feel torn between Arwen and his friends, for instance. Sam hesitating to marry Rosie if it means he can’t be near Frodo is a very unique detail that adds weight to this “ship.” Not to mention the way Sam strokes Frodo’s hand in Rivendell and blushes, or calls himself “your Sam,” or has a Romeo-like moment of falsely believing Frodo is dead, or longs for the touch of Frodo’s hand in the Tower of Cirith Ungol. Plus, don’t forget that in another of Tolkien’s writings, Elanor directly compares Sam losing Frodo to Celeborn losing his wife. Also, I and many others have described how Frodo and Sam’s story directly parallels that of two canon lovers, Beren and Lúthien. Again, platonic interpretations of all this are valid, but it’s important to remember that shippers are not making things up. We’re not saying or believing that Frodo and Sam are in love “because they’re cute”. There are many moments between them in the text that support this interpretation, not the least of which is a direct parallel to a canon romantic couple - and without context, many of their exchanges and moments could easily be seen in a romantic light. (Sam watching Frodo sleep and saying “I love him, whether or no,” and declaring his one wish after potentially completing the Quest alone is not to return to the Shire and Rosie, but to return to Frodo’s body and never leave him again … all these things are right there in the text. Merry and Pippin, Legolas and Gimli, Aragorn and Boromir, none of them have any moments like this.)

And Sam’s journey across the Sea does not have nearly as much ambiguity as Gimli’s. Gimli has more to gain by going than staying; to stay would be to be left alone with no family and no more Elves or hobbits around, while to go would be to stand by his best friend, see the woman he loves/deeply admires again (Galadriel), and not face any more goodbyes. He wouldn’t really lose anything by leaving with Legolas, only gain. Sam’s circumstances are completely different. He has many people in the Shire; 13 children and countless grandchildren who could take care of him. He could easily spend his last days peacefully living with Elanor and watching her children grow, as any old hobbit would typically do. To sail West would be to lose and permanently be separated from a countless number of loved ones. And though he was affected by the Ring as a Ring-bearer, he held it for a very brief time, short enough for it to not prevent him from having a normal life after the war. It cannot be easily assumed that the lasting effect of the Ring on him was so powerful that it made him happier to leave his family than to stay with them. Because what would be waiting for him in Valinor? Gimli had two people in Valinor to whom he was very close, Legolas and Galadriel, as opposed to no loved ones back in Middle-earth. But Sam had one person in Valinor to whom he was very close, Frodo, as opposed to dozens of loved ones back in Middle-earth. The fact that he chooses Frodo over his family, to live with Frodo rather than die with and rest beside Rosie, to see Frodo again rather than see his family as much as possible in his remaining days…is a major point worth considering, and another thing that adds a layer of credibility to the idea of shipping them.

So to sum it all up, to say “you just ship Frodo and Sam because you don’t know what friendship is, because you think they’re cute so they must want to sleep together” is a MASSIVE trivialization/oversimplification/misunderstanding and completely ignores the things I’ve just laid out, particularly the distinctions between their relationship and those of other male pairings in LOTR.

Ok, ramble time is over…Boy, I hope that made at least one lick of sense! Haha.

[savingthrcw]

moving starter from here

She had stopped by the river to collect water, realizing only then she had been humming. She found herself doing so at times when in need to soothe herself after something had made her heart race in a way that was unbecoming for a guard, let alone a captain. But too often she was prey of her own emotions, and had to walk away. "I know when I'm being followed," she finally spoke up, turning enough to look above her shoulder. "Come out."

@voidtamer:

He thought he had been silent- silent enough that he would not be overheard, though he supposed he’s never had to track one of his own. Tauriel had always piqued his curiosity, whether that be because of her peculiar mannerisms, or simply because something about her caught his eye.

Her voice jolted him back to the present, and he raised himself back from his crouched position, boots crunching upon fallen leaves to properly alert her of his presence as opposed to skulking about. “Tauriel,” a smile bloomed on his face when she met his gaze, and he crouched next to her, swirling a finger in the cool river water. “I thought we were not to go out alone?”

Tauriel allowed herself to smile, pleased to see Legolas but always careful to keep a proper distance, least his father or others could misinterpret their relationship. "Forgive me, I did not know it was you," she answered as her fingers moved away from a dagger at her belt, "Your father allowed me to leave so I could finish hunting the last spider orcs. Again." She had almost betrayed her frustration there, since she was on a fool's errand meant to be repeated again and again. It was not a job that Mirkwood could complete alone but Thranduil would not hear it. "Does he know you have left?"

[a-contemplation-upon-flowers]

Elves reading Thirst Tweets part 2

Credits to BUZZFEED CELEB for their tweets.

Part 1 Part 3

⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴⇴

Tweet: EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME. DADDY? SORRY, DADDY? SORRY. DADDY? SORRY. DADDY? SORRY. DADDY!!! SORRY.

Elrond: I don't know if I'm supposed to be flattered? Does anyone have the slightest idea of how stressful it is being a father? I don't need any more children.

Tweet: My ideal weight is Annatar on top of me.

Sauron/Annatar: I mean everyone is supposed to be under me. I'm a top what else do people expect of me.

Tweet: have you washed your face today yet?? I need to make sure my seat is clean for later.

Galadriel: No one sits on my face sweetheart, that's for me to do.

Tweet: how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled, or fertilized? I like mine fertilized by you

Glorfindel: I like my eggs sunny side up, thank you for asking, but eh...not sure what's fertilized.....*the twins explaining it to him* . Oh, sure why not. I don't mind a few children.

Tweet: Just another good day that would be better if Erestor would just choke me.

Erestor: If this is from Glorfindel, I'll gladly do it for free, if not...you all need help.

Tweet: Hey Legolas I'm going horseback riding next week but I'm a little scared since it's my first time, mind if I practice riding on you.

Legolas: ...you mean practice riding on a horse because I'm not a horse. But I'd be willing to help, I am a great rider after all.

Tweet: CHOKE ME SLAM ME HIT ME WITH YOUR HORSE AND I'LL THANK YOU

Feren: ...I mean if you're an orc, yes, but you're not, so no. Why are you people so violent, is this the new norm?

[crystallinemoonlight]

A Pirate's Life For Me

When Legolas sails West, but never arrives.

Straying through a new age, he hides his ears beneath cloth and darkens his hair, trading his bow for a sword and taking a name more suited to the world of Man. William Turner.

Will.

The people are different, changing like the tides and the time that passed. They carry weapons of loud death in their pockets, and they sail the seas claiming land that had once flourished beneath the hands of Elf and Dwarf.

They call him 'boy' and 'whelp', think him young and naive, unknowing of the thousands of years he left behind. Unknowing of the wars he fought and the blood on his hands. Unknowing of his loss.

Sometimes he thinks Jack knows. Sometimes, when he foolishly allows the Captain to look into his eyes a little too long, he thinks the man suspects.

Part of him wants Jack to know. To shed this disguise. Part of him just wants to stop pretending.

[winwin17]

Reblog if you're with me against the feminization/twinkification of Legolas.

Let's be real. There's nothing in canon that suggests any of that. Even in the movie trilogy, he's portrayed by an actor with a classically masculine figure and appearance. Just because he's been called "pretty" doesn't make him girly or effeminate or even androgynous. I mean, just take a second to look at him again. Even his facial features aren't feminine. (I realize the movie depiction isn't canon, but it's probably the most popular mental image people associate with Legolas.)

To be clear, there's nothing wrong with feminine features, and there's nothing wrong with masculine features. But I don't think Legolas was ever meant to be seen as a slight, delicate wisp of a person.

(Also: this post is solely discussing his physique and appearance, not his sexuality. If you're going to debate that, please do it somewhere else.)

This honestly can go for any/all other male elves in Tolkien's world, but for some reason it seems like Legolas has tended to get wrongly depicted the most.

So reblog if you agree!

[smoking-old-toby]

thorin letting bilbo misinterpret ghivashel 🤝 legolas letting gimli misinterpret meleth-nîn

[kiatheinsomniac]

KINKTOBER 2022

✩*⢄⢁✧day thirty: age difference - Thranduil

tag: #Tyelpëlos Kinktober Event

notes: I told myself I wouldn't write any more long oneshots for kinktober and did I listen? No AHAHA which is why this is late BUT this fic marks the end of my kinktober! This was so much fun and I'd love to do it again next year with Eden! This is my first time writing daddy kink and I would like to just really emphasize that all characters are 18+ and I was hoping the mention of reader having some alcohol would help convey this however I later realised that might be misinterpreted as underage drinking otherwise lmao. Reader is an adult but it's just a family vacay, ok? Good. Now that that's out of the way, enjoy!

word count: 5.3k

warnings: smut, NSFW, MDNI, age difference, older man/younger woman, modern! AU, mentions of alcohol consumption, daddy kink

You flipped through pictures of your holiday so far: of your family and that of your brother’s friend Legolas. Your fathers met through their sons and got on really well and so your two families had ended up planning a holiday together, staying in a flashy hotel on a hot coastline. In your hotel room, you revelled in the salt in their air from the balcony door, the quiet whir of the air conditioner, the cool chill of it against the aloe vera on your skin after being between the blistering sun and warm shade all day on the beach, near inhaling one of the books that you had brought with you for entertainment. 

Speaking of entertainment, you were – very guiltily – finding that your fantasies were no longer restricted to the characters to your book but seemed to have latched onto Legolas’ father Thranduil. The epitome of a dilf, you had thought the first time you saw him. He looked like he had stepped right out of one of your fantasy worlds, Game of Thrones or something, and had just perfectly settled into the modern world – well, except for his rather pointed ears which his son seemed to have inherited from him. He was utterly gorgeous: possessing a towering height, a face that could strike envy within an angel, hair like flowing silk and a powerful sort of confidence about him. 

Some stupid part of you was thrilled to be looking so dolled up in his presence tonight. You weren’t one to splash your cash on designer clothes but your heart had just been ensnared by this particular dress. The price tag was enough to put you off for a moment but it was just so beautiful and nothing that you would see everyday. It was a soft white and fell to your mid-thigh, short and sheer puffy sleeves, a dipping neckline that wasn’t low enough to really be considered anything scandalous. It had a sheer layer that shimmered slightly over the silky material of the dress that felt simply exquisite against your skin, the sheer layer being decorated with lacy butterflies and flowers that just slightly lifted away from the material they were sewn too. Trying it on in the fitting room really had been enough to tempt you into spending your money for that month. You couldn’t afford to treat yourself to anything else and had to be careful with your money until you got your next paycheck at the end of the month but as you sat down in the hotel’s restaurant, you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it one bit. 

Dinner was going really well and damn did Thranduil look good in those hunter green slacks and that white button down, undoing the top buttons and rolling up the sleeves-  You had to stop yourself from nearly drooling as you glanced at the young man with long golden hair at the table, reminding yourself that you were thirsting over his father who was a widowed man. How terrible could you possibly be? Besides, even if he were seeking a partner, you were near sure that it wouldn’t be someone a year younger than his son. 

And that was when dinner stopped going really well because your brother dropped his phone and, in reaching out to try and grab it before it hit the table, he knocked over your glass of vodka and orange juice which went rolling off the table and straight down your front and into your lap with how close you had been sitting to the table to avoid dropping anything in your new expensive dress. There was a big fuss about it, especially from your mother who got to scolding your older brother as though he were still a child but you weren’t interested in being fussed over or hearing your brother apologise, you were just upset over your new dress, the one thing you had treated yourself to in a long time, being ruined. You would feel stupid for crying about it in front of everyone – let alone in public – so you simply dismissed yourself from the table, saying you would return to the hotel to get out of the dress and take a shower, the orange juice already feeling sticky against your upper thighs. 

So, you did exactly that. You left the restaurant to go to the lift where you went up to the floor of your hotel room, shifting your phone in your hand to get the keycard before remembering that you had left it on the restaurant table. How could you be so careless? Likely because you were very upset. You let out a single sob at how one bad thing had happened after another but caught yourself, knowing that you would have to face everyone again when you went to collect your key. So, you marched back up the corridor to the lift, pressing the down button before the doors opened to reveal Thranduil who then held up your key between two fingers. 

“I thought you might need this.” His usual stoic face softened to a sympathetic look, “Come on, sweetheart, let’s get you cleaned up.” He spoke, setting his hand between your shoulder blades and guiding you towards your family’s room, unlocking your door and holding it open for you. The door locked behind you. “You seemed so upset, I thought you could do with some company so you wouldn’t be alone with it this evening.” 

“The evening?” You raised a brow at the implication of his words. 

“Everyone else has decided to go out for drinks but I have an important work call to take in the morning so I had to pass on it anyway.” The corner of his mouth quirked up in amusement, “I’m trusting your father will be able to keep Legolas in line.” 

“He raised my brother, I’m sure he can manage anyone at this point.” You replied, making Thranduil laugh lowly and it quelled your want to weep for your ruined dress. But the silent tears were still there and you lowered your head to try and hide them, feeling that he would see you as silly and childish for crying over clothes. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” He cooed and watched as you sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at the orange juice staining the lap of your white dress. You felt the mattress dip with his weight beside you and you kept your head down, cursing the hot tears brimming in your eyes, “it’s such a shame, it really is a beautiful dress.” He complimented and it made your heart flutter for a moment to know that he liked it. No, you reminded yourself, you shouldn’t swoon over Thranduil – a widowed father – liking your little dress. 

“It was expensive too…” You mumbled, “I don’t usually buy expensive clothes but this was just so pretty, I couldn’t put it back on the rack and I was skint for ages after buying it but I never really treat myself to stuff like this.” You sniffled as you did your utmost to stop your tears from spilling down your cheeks but you tasted defeat in their salt as they ran down to your chin and the corners of your mouth. Thranduil kneeled down in front of you and cupped your face in his hands, shushing you while affectionately swiping at your tears with his thumbs. You couldn’t help but melt into his touch and turn your face into his palm. He smelled like aftersun and some warm spice you couldn’t quite put a name to. Your lips just barely grazed against his hand and you fought the urge to press them to his skin over and over, settling for trying to steady your breathing instead.

While you were in turmoil, Thranduil was in his own. Here you were, such a sweet and beautiful little thing in tears with your lips against his skin as he knelt in front of where you were perched on the bed. If he could, he’d quell your tears with kisses and throw you back onto the bed and give you a reason to forget the ruined dress that you seemed to have treasured so much. But you were so much younger than him and should he make any sort of advance and you rejected it, everyone he was on this holiday with would be out for his blood. Your parents and brother would kill him and he was more than sure that his son wouldn’t like to find that he had tried to pursue a woman a year younger than him, his best friend’s little sister no less. 

One of his hands on your face dropped to your knee, a safe enough place he thought: it could seem like he was keeping his balance while kneeling and it was not too far up your leg to be considered provocative. His thumb swiped once against your knee in the same way it had done beneath your eyes and he didn’t miss the way your thighs pressed together slightly. Arousal or recoil? He wasn’t sure and so he rose to his feet and withdrew from you entirely before he could possibly make you uncomfortable. 

“Why don’t you get changed, hm?” He offered, “I’m sure that’s not comfortable to be in.” You nodded your head and got up to get changed in the privacy of the bathroom, pausing on the threshold of the door to announce that you would likely take a shower to wash off the stickiness from the juice. However, once you had stripped off your precious dress and started running the water, you realised that you had forgotten your hairbrush and so you wrapped yourself in a towel before going back into the room to grab it, finding Thranduil had been gazing out of the glass doors to the balcony before turning around to spot you. You suddenly felt very vulnerable and bare in just your towel and even Thranduil seemed surprised that you had left the bathroom in such a state of undress. 

“Forgot my hairbrush…” You murmured, realising it might have even been better to put the stained dress back on just to grab it.

“I’ll see what I can do about your dress.” He replied and walked past you as you began to quickly brush out your hair. You could hear the tap run in the bathroom and when you had set the brush back down again, you stood awkwardly in the bathroom doorway as you watched Thranduil soak your dress in hot water to try and lift the stain before it could truly steele into the fabric. 

“I really appreciate the help but I’d like to be able to…” You trailed off, almost feeling as though you were rejecting his generous help, just desperate for the hot water of the shower to wash away some of your sadness at having your dress near ruined. 

“I won’t look.” He simply replied, turning his body at a slight angle so that he could continue working your dress in the sink while his back faced the shower. You were sure he wouldn’t be able to see you in the mirror, given the angle, and so you simply agreed with a quiet ‘alright then’ seeing as he had already turned around. You trusted Thranduil. The towel was set on the rack before you were under the steaming water, letting out a content sigh at the high temperature, beginning to wash your hair and then wash the stickiness of the orange juice from your skin. As you lathered your body in vanilla and honey scented bubbles, you couldn’t help but fantasise about the gorgeous man who stood no less than three metres from your naked form. He could so easily betray the trust you had placed in him, could gaze upon your exposed body, use the sight to spark lust. A part of you yearned for him to initiate something, to give you an excuse to just give into your desires if they were to be presented before you in such a ripe opportunity. Would he dare? You didn’t know how to provoke or seduce a man and so you found yourself improvising, against your better judgement. He was just so stunning and in fantasising about him, you had worked yourself up. You moaned at the feeling of the heated water against your skin, of the delectable scent of the soap on your body. You found yourself cupping your breasts in your hands as you rinsed yourself. Yet, Thranduil took no notice of you. 

At least: he showed no signs of taking notice. His bright blue eyes were already stealing glimpses at you in the mirror, unable to see much due to the angle that he was standing at, fighting his impulses in an attempt to continue working at your dress as you showered behind him. 

“Hey…” He heard your voice call out softly, “Do you think you could pass me the exfoliant on the counter? The beige tub with the white lid.” You asked and he found that his teeth were grinding slightly with how hard he had clenched his jaw. He found the item in question and stepped backwards, extending his arm backwards too in order to hand it to you. 

“There you go.” He spoke, his voice slightly quieter but neutral, cleverly balanced out as to not betray a word of what was going on inside his head. 

“Thank you.” Your voice had softened, was slightly airy as you took the tub from his waiting palm, your fingertips gliding against his wrist and down over his palm, your fingers almost wrapping around his as you savoured the small skin-on-skin contact. You might have been under the impression that the gesture would seem innocent enough, fumbling or clumsy even, but Thranduil knew much more than you, it came with his age. 

“Do you know what you’re doing?” His voice cut through the silence that was beginning to grow thick like the steam in the room. 

“I-I’m sorry?” You stammered out, face instantly flushing at having been caught. Thranduil looked just slightly over his shoulder, his eye meeting yours from the very corner and wandering nowhere else on your exposed body. In your eyes he saw your naivete and yet he also saw a mix of fear and embarrassment at having been caught. You had been teasing him intentionally and the look on your face was all he needed to confirm such. 

“Get out of the shower, Y/n.” His tone was quiet and yet no less authoritative than the voice you had heard him speak with over business calls. You swallowed hard and turned off the water, now feeling much more bashful and attempting to cover your bare chest with your arms. Thranduil took down the towel from the rack, warm, and wrapped it around your body, hands squeezing your shoulders momentarily before you gasped when his hands landed on your waist and hoisted you onto the counter. His hands gently patted you down, keeping you covered with the towel and you watched him do so with bated breath. 

His fingers skimmed over your thighs, just above your knees where your towel didn’t cover them and he let out a soft sigh, pale blue eyes roving up to meet your gaze. 

“Do you want this?” He asked and you swallowed hard. He didn’t need to elaborate on what it was he was offering. You nodded your head, eyes stealing a glance down to his lips. “I need to hear you say it, sweetheart.” 

“I want this…” Your voice was airy with a sense of excitement and anxiousness. His fingers trailed up your body until they were beneath your chin, tilting your head upwards and leaning in oh-so-slowly with lidded eyes, providing you with ample time to pull away should you realise that you did not want this. However, your hands came to rest on his shoulders, fingers skimming against his neck as your lips collided. He felt you shudder against him as you arched your back and leaned into him, your body silently pleading for more contact as your fingers slid upwards and into his hair. You couldn’t help but let out a soft moan at discovering it felt just as soft as it looked. Thranduil’s hand under your chin slid to cup your cheek and his other hand slid down to squeeze at your hip. The kiss grew more heated and you felt light-headed as you tried to keep up with Thranduil’s pace, relieved when his lips began to trail down your neck, drawing soft sighs and moans from your lips that he fully intended on leaving kiss-swollen when he was done with you. 

“Have you done anything like this before?” His voice had dropped as he hummed out the question against your pulse. 

“I have…” You replied quietly and Thranduil seemed slightly surprised. Truthfully, he had been unsure but a part of him was almost so sure that you were a virgin. “He… put me off, I suppose. It ended up being a one-time thing.” Your face flooded with heat and you couldn’t meet Thranduil’s eyes as he looked at you thoughtfully. 

“A boy your age?” He was met with a nod. 

“He was… selfish, I suppose is the word for it.” You heard the man before you tut as his arms wrapped around you and his lips languidly peppered kisses from your temple, across the softness of your cheek and to your lips. 

“I’m going to assume it was over before it could even begin for you and he left you unsatisfied.” He punctuated his prediction with a slow kiss to your mouth, nibbling your bottom lip. 

“Yeah…” You breathed out as you felt him push your thighs apart so that he could slot himself between your legs and pull you even closer. 

“Would you like me to show you real pleasure then, y/n? Pleasure given from a man who knows a woman’s body?” He was met with an eager nod. 

“Yes please…” Oh, how well-mannered and adorable you were. He couldn’t resist crashing his lips onto yours once more and you felt him untuck your towel as he kissed you dizzy. You gasped when his hands cupped your breasts and he pulled away from your lips. 

“Is this ok?” You eagerly nodded your head and your hands gripped the collar of his shirt to pull him back into the kiss, thighs squeezing your hips as you yearned to keep the closeness between you two. He smiled at your eagerness and relished in all the little moans you let out as he palmed your soft flesh and began to tweak your nipples between his fingers, testing how much you could take before letting out a little yelp into his mouth, allowing him to slip his tongue inside and to coax you into a deeper kiss. Once more, his lips trailed down your neck and then even further down to the top of your left breast, pausing along the way to nip at your collarbone. His tongue poked out to lap at your damp skin before encasing one of your hardened buds in the warmth of his mouth and sucking down gently, earning a drawn-out moan from your throat while his hand paid attention to your other breast, assuring that it was not neglected. 

He could gather from your reactions that this was not something you had experienced before and he couldn’t help but think on how undeserving that body must have been to have had such a pretty, responsive girl in his grasp and to still ignore her needs entirely. 

“Thranduil…” You whimpered out his name when he switched breasts and you could feel him groan against your sensitive skin before he wrapped his hands under your thighs and hoisted you upwards, making you gasp and steady yourself with your hands on his shoulders. He carried you out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed with you in his lap, not wanting to potentially overwhelm you by putting you under him just yet. His fingers skimmed up your bare back and then went down to your hips, holding them firmly and lightly coaxing you to grind down on him as you were now straddling his lap. You could feel him gently roll his hips against you, creating such sweet friction. You buried your face against his shoulder to muffle the sounds of how good he was making you feel. 

“I bet he didn’t focus on you at all, did he, y/n?” Thranduil’s voice cooed in your ear, dripping with a tone that just reminded you how naive you were than him in this. You simply clutched onto his shirt and shook your head, puffing out a content sigh as your clit caught against the material of his trousers. “I bet he didn’t even know how.” He continued, a hand reaching upwards to carefully stroke through your wet hair. “Would you like me to show you?” 

“Yes please.” You murmured once more, face leaving the crook of his neck to tentatively kiss the corner of his mouth. 

“Alright…” And he shifted you around so that you were laid back on the bed with your head against the pillows, his body hovering over yours, “But I have just one request for you, to make us both feel good, hm?” He suggested, fingers trailing up and down your side, tickling you slightly and causing goosebumps to erupt across your skin. You nodded your head for him to continue, feeling his palms on your thighs, parting them slightly. “I’m older than you… more experienced… I want to take such good care of you…” He continued, leaning down to kiss you so tenderly, as though you were cracked glass or thin ice that was ready to shatter at the slightest pressure. “Why don’t you call me daddy, hm?” 

“I…” You bit on your lip. You were aware of daddy kinks, sure, but were you into it? You had never put much thought to it. 

“It’s alright if you don’t want to…” He said softly, hands roaming your body up and down as though trying to memorise the shape of you. 

“No, it’s not that, I just… I don’t know if I’m into it, I suppose? I’ve never really thought about it.” You shivered slightly when his fingers skimmed between your hips, across your abdomen in a way that was pleasurable but also rather ticklish, watching as his eyes flicked up to meet yours in order to assess your reaction. 

“How about this then:” He proposed, “I’ll tell you when to moan for me and we’ll see if you like it then, while I’m making you feel good, hm?” You thought over his suggestion for a moment before nodding your head, watching as he smiled before pressing a kiss to your navel. “Good girl.” He praised, “Spread your legs further for me.” You did as told and he kissed a trail down your skin until his hot breath was fanning against your pussy, finding you glistening with need already, dripping from your slit. “I’m going to use my mouth on you now, is that alright?” His lips pressed to your inner thighs in the meantime. 

“Yes, it’s alright…” You mumbled out, bringing a hand up to press to your mouth in anticipation, your breath hitching and your fingers muffling a long moan when his tongue delved straight into your slit and pushed all the way up to your clit that he began to kiss and suck with such devotion. Your head fell back against the pillows and the hand against your mouth fell beside your head, gripping the plush fabric beneath it as Thranduil hoisted your thighs up on his shoulders and began dipping his tongue in and out of your walls. He kissed his way back up your slit before pausing, exhaling over you and drowning in the scent of your arousal.

“Moan for me now.” He commanded just before sucking down harshly on your clit the moment you opened your mouth. 

“Da-addy~” Your voice broke and your hands shot down to tangle in his pale hair at the unexpected pleasure as you felt your thighs tense up and the beginnings of an orgasm rush over your limbs before crashing to your core where Thranduil held your hips down as he eased you through it, the first orgasm you had ever been given by another. He kissed your clit one final time, almost a farewell, before rising back up, chin glistening with your slick. 

“There…” His thumb caressed your cheek and he watched how your body slightly trembled, “Did you enjoy it in the end?” There was a tone of amusement in his voice that told you he already knew the answer. 

“Yes…” You breathed out. 

“Yes, who?” He hummed and you let out a low whine. 

“Yes, daddy.” You were rewarded with a kiss where you could taste yourself and you were much too aroused to have any disgust towards such a thing. 

“Normally, I’d spend a lot more time on such a pretty thing like you, sweetheart…” He said, “But I don’t want to give you more than you can handle.” You moaned once more when his fingers prodded at your entrance, slipping one inside experimentally before quickly adding another. He stroked over that sweet spot inside you that had you whimpering beneath him, moaning out broken little phrases of ‘yes’ ‘please, daddy’ ‘more’ ‘just like that, daddy’ ‘please’ ‘so good’. Each one had him feeling much too hot and constricted in his clothes as he slowly fingered you, scissoring his fingers apart to feel how your walls had to stretch around them, trying to prepare you for the size of his cock. Eventually, he withdrew his fingers from your squelching hole and got to impatiently stripping off his shirt, rising to remove the rest of his clothing before he was practically diving on top of you once again, cock in his hand. You watched as he stroked himself in front of you, pressing the flushed and weeping head of his cock against the heat of your soaked slit. He reached for your legs and you let out a small grunt as he pushed them upwards, almost pressed to your chest. 

“Hold them there for daddy…” He watched in adoration of your obedience as you immediately complied, “Such a good girl…” He resumed stroking his cock before lining it up to your entrance, sliding the tip of his cock up and down slightly over your entrance before pushing in deep. Arousal pooled within him at the yelped moan you let out and his hands squeezed your hips for a moment before he pushed the rest of the way in, revelling in the way you whined at the stretch of his cock in your tight walls. “Fuck, I know you’re going to take me so well…” Your cunt clenched around him at hearing him curse like that. You had never heard Thranduil curse, he always seemed much too refined for it and yet here that eloquence was, bleeding out of him all because of how inviting your pussy felt squeezing and fluttering around his cock. He couldn’t risk making a mess here in the hotel room that your family would return to later on in the night so he planned on making this part quick. He could always pamper you a bit and bring you back to his own room after. 

A surge of pride filled him when his slow and harsh pace, each thrust kissing the deepest parts of you, had you quickly babbling at how good his cock felt inside of you. You had previously been unsure of how you felt about calling him daddy and yet here you were wantonly moaning it like it was the only word you knew. 

“This is exactly what you’ve been missing out on, isn’t it?” He asked, leaning down by you so that he could press your legs even more, folding you into a mating press as his thrusts began to drill down into you, the head of his cock bittersweetly bullying your cervix with each thrust. “Having an older man who knows exactly what you need… an older man who knows your sweet- fuck- young body in ways that boys your age don’t.” His dirty talk had your nails raking down your back and high pitched moans squeezing from your throat, “That’s why you didn’t turn me down like all the other boys who you knew just wanted to use you.” He let out a guttural moan by your ear that almost turned into a whine when the sound made your body clench further down him. “Do you want to come again, y/n?” You quickly nodded your head, scrunching your eyes for a moment to try and quell the tears that were building in them. “Then ask for it, ask your daddy if he’ll make you come.” 

“Daddy, please, please, can I come?” You pleaded. “Make me come again, please?” 

“Oh, well, seeing as you asked so nicely.” You cried out when his thumb began to draw circles on your throbbing clit and you buried your face in his neck as your nails curled into his skin, muffling your sob as your thighs wrapped around him, tiny cunt spasming around his thick cock. Just as quickly as you had tensed up, you went limp and Thranduil used the opportunity to pry your legs from him and kneel over your body, stroking his cock with lewd noises made by your slick as he spilled his hot cum over your bare chest, making him moan at the sight. He laid down beside you and watched as you panted for breath. 

Thranduil propped himself up on an elbow to lean over you, tenderly pushing wet hair away from your face and kissing from your temple, down your cheek, to the corner of your jaw. “You did so well, sweetheart…” He praised, “I’m so proud of you.” He punctuated his words with a kiss yet watched on as you still panted for breath, not yet down from your high. “Come,” He cupped your face to gently turn your head to face him, pressing his forehead to yours, “breathe with me now…” And he began to take in deep breaths, hold them and slowly let them out until your body had calmed right down and you turned onto your side and buried your face in his chest, caring very little about how his hair was tickling your face. 

“I feel much happier now.” You laughed slightly, making him laugh too as he reflected on how you had been sobbing over your dress earlier. 

“I’m glad to hear it.” He kissed the top of your head and smoothed your hair back affectionately. “I… I would much prefer this be kept a secret- '' He began, “-not because I only used you, no, I wouldn’t do that to you, but because I don't think our families would be all too happy. If you want to tell anyone what’s happened between the two of us, I understand but if we want to do this again, it might be best if we… see where things go before we tell anyone. This is just my suggestion but I leave the final decision down to you. I won’t tell you what to do.” You hummed and began to trace idle patterns on his skin with your fingertips. 

“You would… do this again with me?” You highlighted. 

“More times than you could possibly count, my sweet.” He replied with a slight laugh. 

“I… would like to keep this between us while I see how things go then.” 

“Very well…” He kissed the top of your head once more, “Let’s stay like this for a while then we can have a shower together, how does that sound?”

“Wonderful…” You hummed. 

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[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Ideas #27: Legolas/Gimli, but make everyone oblivious

Last night I found myself wondering yet again what would it take to have an established relationship between Legolas and Gimli before the Fellowship left Rivendell?

The most obvious way to go about it would be a secret relationship - @roselightfairy does an absolutely beautiful take on this in Words Unspoken - but then I thought: what if Legolas and Gimli's relationship was the biggest scandal of the Third Age, but the Fellowship was made up of oblivious, uninformed idiots?

aka the All Those Frustrating Fools fic

Just imagine it:

With Mirkwood and Erebor being so close together, it makes sense that Legolas and Gimli would at least know of each other before the Council of Elrond in 3018. After all, Legolas is prince of Mirkwood and, following the Battle of Five Armies, Gimli is sixth in line of succession to Erebor. By the Council, he's third - just as far as Dain Ironfoot was when he inherited.

As highly placed heirs of nearby kingdoms, it also makes sense for Legolas and Gimli to have met before the Council. Perhaps they served as ambassadors to their neighboring kingdoms, or stumbled into each other leading patrols on their shared border, or met as the dwarves of Ered Luin passed by Mirkwood on their way to Erebor.

Regardless of the exact circumstances, Legolas and Gimli meet, fall in love, and marry sometime between 2941 and 2970. They do so openly, much to the horror of their families, and make no attempt to hide their relationship at all once they've worked things out between themselves.

It is the scandal of the Age. Hell, maybe it's the most scandalous, gossiped about marriage in all the history of Middle Earth. There's no way any elf, dwarf, human, or hobbit east of the Misty Mountains and north of the Limlight alive at the time could fail to hear about it. Even after the initial shock dies down, their relationship remains stock fodder for when the gossiping gets slow.

By the time the Council of Elrond rolls around, Legolas and Gimli's relationship is common knowledge. Except: the hobbits don't know a thing about it, The Shire taking little interest in the outside world. Neither does Boromir, being both too young and from too far south. Even Aragorn doesn't realize that this elf and this dwarf are that particular elf and dwarf, as most of the elves he knows remember him as a child and subconsciously try to shield him from the most salacious rumors. Only Gandalf knows the truth.

Legolas and Gimli never try to hide their relationship, but they don't go shoving it in everyone else's face either - and besides, from the outside their old married couple bickering looks like real arguments to everyone else. By the time giving each other comfort becomes more important than not grossing out their traveling companions with PDA, the rest of the Fellowship is drowning in grief because of Gandalf and doesn't really notice - and by the time anyone does, it's just Aragorn at Helm's Deep thinking they're finally getting their act together.

It takes forever for the truth to finally come out, mostly because Legolas and Gimli think everyone already knows. After all, they made no attempt to hide their relationship from anyone. Yes, they tried to be discreet and keep their displays of affection private, but that didn't mean they were trying to hide anything.

Looking back, it should be painfully obvious to the rest of the Fellowship. Excruciatingly obvious - especially while in Lothlorian.

Bonuses include: 1) Pippin saying early on that Legolas and Gimli already bicker like an old married couple so maybe they should help their friends out and play matchmaker, but is shut down by the other hobbits so hard he never mentions it again. 2) Elrond, Galadriel, and Gandalf all saying things that would only make sense if Legolas and Gimli were married, but which the Fellowship continually misinterprets. Gandalf, being a shit stirrer, intentionally tries to make as much of what he says regarding them up for misinterpretation. 3) All of the friends the Fellowship makes along the way - Eomer, Eowyn, Faramir, &c - all learning the truth of the matter early on and figuring that their traveling companions already knew, and so never really seeing the need to mention it either. And when they do, their words are just as misinterpreted.

And that's it. That's all I have, but feel free to adopt this plot bunny. Just link back if you ever do anything with it.

More LOTR Ideas | More Terrible Fic Ideas

[avayarising]

Arwen’s fate wasn’t mystically bound to the Ring in some special way. That’s a misinterpretation of one line of dialogue. What Elrond was saying when he said ‘Arwen’s life is now tied to the fate of the Ring’ was that Arwen had now chosen a mortal life and she would have to live in the world that would result from whatever happened to the Ring – and that if the Ring was not destroyed then it would not be a long or pleasant life. Unlike Elrond and the rest of the Elves, who could all bugger off to Valinor either way, Arwen’s life was now tied to the fate of the Ring – as the lives of all Men, Dwarves, and Hobbits already were.

I liked the Elves in Helm’s Deep. I thought it was a good way to show that even with Sauron trying to divide everyone, people were still willing to come together against him – and then it hits you with the tragedy of all these dead Elves – Elves who are Not Supposed To Die – so you can see the price and the value of fighting.

And I initially didn’t like the way Faramir was so much grimmer when I first saw the theatrical release, but when I saw the extended version with all his backstory it was clear that it all followed from the family dynamic that is set up in the book between him and Denethor and Boromir and I thought it very much worked. The extra scenes also served to soften Faramir again and make him, if not exactly merry, then at least gentler.

Things I do wish had been different:

I wish that Saruman had retained his original book intentions of using Sauron’s methods and weapons against him and failing to see that he was just playing into his hands and becoming what he sought to oppose, and then eventually being corrupted into power and control for its own sake. Having him overtly decide to join Sauron in the hopes of saving himself I think oversimplified his character and is too similar to Denethor’s story. This change to his character also made it pretty much impossible to do the Scouring of the Shire, which I would have liked to see – and have thought was important ever since I first read the book aged about 11 – because it’s such an important reminder that you don’t just defeat one Big Bad and then you’re done: evil is something you have to keep fighting against every day for your whole life.

I wish that instead of that awful drinking contest scene, full of second-hand embarrassment and adding nothing to any character, we had had the conversation between Gimli and Legolas where Gimli tells Legolas how beautiful the caves are and how the Dwarves would cultivate them, and ending with Legolas agreeing to see and appreciate the caves if Gimli will come with him to see and appreciate the forest. Showing the Dwarves in general and Gimli in particular as cultured lovers of beauty and not as uncouth barbarians.

I wish they hadn’t had that avalanche of skulls in the Halls of the Dead in the extended version. It was too ridiculous to be scary or horrifying. Where were they all supposed to have come from? It worked much better in the theatrical version where it cuts straight from “What say you?!” to them emerging from the caves and there is a genuine tension there as they approach the ships because you don’t know what they said, which makes the “This army” reveal so much more satisfying.

But most of the book is translated incredibly well to the screen and I think Tolkien would be proud of it. Even in the bits that differ from the book – most of which are a natural result of the differences in the medium – the love of the makers for the story shines through it all.

[runawaymun]

Tolkien Elves with Platonic!Reader | It’s the Thought That Counts?

genre: humor, crack, fluff – Christmas fic~  warnings: nope for: requested by a lovely person whose account seems to have been deactivated in between the ask and me getting around to writing this reader pronouns: she/they

PROMPT: Could you do a (platonic or familial idk) drabble-ish thing for Thranduil (and some of the other elves), where reader misses human traditions of Christmas, and so they all try to put up a tree for the reader? (Bonus: Reader walks in at the EXACT moment that everything goes wrong) Thank you so much!

It’s early morning on Christmas Day.

Or, it would be, if you were home. 

In the caverns of Mirkwood, it’s just a regular morning, albeit very cold. You’d woken to a cheery fire made up in your fireplace, and peeled yourself out of bed to collect the gifts you’d made for your friends. 

It’s Thranduil’s turn to host the Midwinter festival this year, and so Mirkwood is packed full of Elves. Last year, it had been at Imladris– and the year before that in Lothlorien. You had meant to save the gifts until then, but now that Christmas is here you can’t bear to wait. It feels so strange and sad to let the day pass without doing something. 

Maybe you can persuade Thranduil’s cooks to let you bake something in the kitchen later. 

With the paper-wrapped packages tucked under your arm, you wander out and down the hall to look for each recipient. 

Curiously, you can’t seem to find anybody.

The halls are surprisingly quiet and empty. When you turn a corner, heading to Thranduil’s giant parlor in the heart of the Caverns, you see the open door there glimmering with light, and sounds of rustling and low voices from inside. 

When you head over, you hear Erestor’s flat voice announce: “This cannot be correct.” 

“I admit it is possible we are misinterpreting the text.” That’s Elrond. You’re sure of it. “But if we are, I cannot imagine what else it might mean. Thranduil– you’re the tallest of any of us. This goes on the top.”

“Why, pray tell, are we crowning it with a Fëanorian sigil?” Thranduil demands.

Elrond lets out a longsuffering sigh. “We are not. It means something else to Men.”

You reach the door and peer around it to see Thranduil, Elrond, Celebrían, both the twins, Arwen, Legolas, Erestor, and Glorfindel all standing around a gigantic pine tree that nearly scrapes the ceiling, bedecked with all sorts of baubles– paper snowflakes, silver bells, strings of popcorn and cranberries– and Thranduil is up on a chair, putting on the star. 

Your eyes fill with tears. And then you laugh. Everyone turns to look at you. Thranduil gets down from the chair, turns to Elrond, and says: “I hope that fire ward you put on the room works.” 

Before you can even begin to wonder what he means by that, Glorfindel takes a firebrand from the fireplace, holds it up to the tree, and the whole thing bursts into flames.

In a chorus, all the Elves say: “Merry Christmas!” 

You stand, frozen (out of horror, shock, or whatever else you’re not sure), as the fire consumes the tree. 

“What– what is this?” 

“Thranduil mentioned you were missing the Midwinter traditions of your people,” Elrond said. 

It’s like watching a car wreck as the tree smokes. A branch breaks off and crashes onto the embroidered tree skirt. Somehow, it doesn’t catch fire. 

“Why…why is it on fire?” 

“The text we were able to acquire says that one of the most beloved traditions of Christmas is decorating and lighting the tree,” Elrond replies. Everyone is quiet for a long time. The star on top of the tree is beginning to melt.

You stare at it, watching it slide down the tree trunk in a silver goop, and then snort and begin to laugh again.

You can’t stop laughing. You collapse into the nearest reading chair, set the gifts on the end table, and bury your face in your hands, shoulders shaking. It’s all so utterly absurd– you could toast marshmallows on the thing.

There are tears of mirth in your eyes when you look up again. No one seems to know how to react.

“Thank you,” you say, trying to catch your breath. “It’s wonderful. But um– it–”

“Is it a metaphor?” Erestor guesses.

“No!” You’re still laughing. “No. It’s– when we light the tree it’s– small. Like candles on the branches. We don’t–” you gesture to the tree, biting your lip. 

“Huh,” Glorfindel mutters. “That does make a lot more sense.” 

The look Thranduil shoots Elrond could have melted through steel. Elrond, to his credit, looks very apologetic, but before he can say anything, you hold up your hand to stop him.

“Really, I love it. Thank you.” The fact that they had even tried was so thoughtful, if a little misguided, and already you feel less homesick. You are finally able to stifle the giggles as Erestor and the twins manage to put the tree out. You reach for the pile of packages next to your chair and say:

“So, presents?”