#moist von lipwig save me………….:.::…..

[potato-lord-but-not]

Yeah I don’t have any excuse for these I just had them on the brain aha

[cosmerelists]

If Cosmere Characters met Discworld Characters...

Discworld/Cosmere requested by @enormous-fuck-you-dragon :)

If Cosmere characters had the chance to interact with characters from Terry Pratchett's hit series Discworld, what would that be like?

1. Khriss and the Librarian

Khriss: So...this world is flat. Librarian: Ook. Khriss: And it's carried on the backs of four elephants. Librarian: Ook. Khriss: Which are standing on the back of a giant sea turtle moving through space? Librarian: Ook. Khriss: That's not how any cosmology works! Librarian: Ook? Khriss: Well sure, there's magic, but that doesn't mean that physics doesn't apply any longer! Librarian: Ook! Khriss: Well yes, I also don't usually get my cosmologies from an orangutan... Khriss: ... Khriss: This place is whack.

2. Bridge 4 & Carrot

Carrot: [Looks left] Carrot: [Looks right] Carrot: [Eyes glimmering with happy tears] Carrot: I-I can't believe I'm finally SHORT!

3. Vasher and Rincewind

Vasher: So your luggage is a half-feral sentient creature that eats people? Rincewind: And monters. Rincewind: Objects. Rincewind: Large swathes of landscape. Vasher: Somebody REALLY messed up that Awakening. Nightblood: Helloooo! I want to be introduced! Vasher: ...And I would know.

4. TenSoon and Angua

Angua: So you've been in dog form for a long time. TenSoon: Centuries probably. Angua: Don't you worry that you'll become...too much of a dog? Not really human? TenSoon: I was never human to begin with. Angua: Well okay, but... TenSoon: And it's...nice to be fluffy. Angua: ... Angua: It is sometimes nice to be fluffy...

5. Kaladin and Vimes

Kaladin: The "Vimes" Boots Theory of Socio-Economic Unfairness? Vimes: That's the name I came up with, yeah. Kaladin: Wait I think I can guess this one! Kaladin: It's like when this random bright-eyed woman--well, she was random to me back then, anyway--stole the boots right off my feet! Vimes: ... Vimes: I think that's just a crime. Kaladin: Oh.

6. Tress & Granny Weatherwax

Tress: ...and when I realized that no one was going to do anything to save Charlie, I just decided--I would do it. Granny: Very witchy of you. Tress: N-No, there was no magic or anything! Granny: Didn't say magic. Granny: Said witchy. Granny: You saw that it needed to be done so you did it, right? Tress: I guess? Granny: That's most of what it is, in the end.

7. Adolin & Moist von Lipwig

Adolin: [Gazing wistfully at Moist] Adolin: Hey, Shallan, do you think *I* could pull off a shiny gold suit? Shallan: If anyone could pull it off, you could. Adolin: Wow, thanks! Maybe I can... Shallan: If anyone could. Adolin: ... Adolin: Oh.

8. Kelsier and Death

Death: HELLO. Kelsier: Absolutely not. Kelsier: I punched god--and Hoid! Don't think I won't punch the personification of Death if he tries to take me! Death: ... Death: I WAS JUST SAYING HELLO.

[stupidphototricks]

(Sorry I disappeared for a while, life happened. Well, in this case work happened, which you know, not at all the same thing. Anyway.)

The next Discworld book in my random selection was The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents.

But people were people, even if they had four legs and had called themselves names like Dangerous Beans, which is the kind of name you gave yourself if you learned to read before you understood what all the words actually meant, and reading the warning notices and the labels on the old rusty cans gave you names you liked the sound of. -- Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

I love this concept, reminds me of Ford Prefect choosing his name with only a confused understanding of Earth, or Ramona Quimby naming her doll Chevrolet just because she liked the sound of it. I think this is very nearly all of the rat names in the book, I tried to keep track but I may have missed one or two:

Dangerous Beans Darktan Peaches Bitesize Feedsfour Hamnpork Donut Enter Sardines Inbrine Bestbefore Farmhouse Nourishing Specialoffer Big Savings Delicious  Kidney  Fresh Tomato Toxie Additives Sellby

The thing is, this is a really interesting list. If I were making a list of names that someone might choose with if they didn't know anything but words on cans, I would probably slide more or less unconsciously into a theme. "Corn, Tuna In Oil, Artichoke Hearts, Beef Broth" or "Healthy Choice, Gluten Free, Original Flavor." But this list is just... anything. Everything. Way more creative.

Sometimes the name has the original spacing, sometimes not. Sometimes it's the biggest word on the label, and sometimes it's in the fine print. At least one of the names (Dangerous Beans) comes from (presumably) two entirely different sources. Why not? Different people (rats) would absolutely choose their names differently.

And it's kind of fascinating how well these randomish names seem to fit the characters and personalities. Could Sardines really be anything but a tap-dancing rat with a hat?

So there's a punchline of sorts. After all of these rats whose names are very important to them, then there's the (human) kid, whose name we don't even find out until chapter 4.

“You never said you had a name!” said Maurice. “No one ever asked before,” said the kid. “Keith is not a promising name start,” said Malicia. “It doesn’t hint of mystery. It just hints of Keith. Are you sure it’s your real name?” “It’s just the one they gave me.” -- Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

Possibly the normalest name in all of Discworld, Keith. Hardly worth mentioning. (No offense to any Keiths out there, I quite like the name, but you have to admit it's no Moist Von Lipwig.)

[incaseigloom]

Moist Von Lipwig save me

[bostonfly]

The Essential Terry Pratchett

Where do I start?

If you find the flow charts daunting — and who could blame you? — “Monstrous Regiment” (2003) is your best bet for a stand-alone, as it happens far away from Ankh-Morpork or the witchy Ramtop Mountains.

Take me directly to his greatest hit

“Night Watch” (2002) is not only a great Discworld novel: It is one of the greatest fantasy novels of all time.

I like sexy, sinister elves and women saving the day

The author’s note for “Lords and Ladies” (1992), Pratchett’s riff on “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” warns that this is the first Discworld book to build episodically on what came before … and then immediately gives you all the important context you need, in brief, with no homework necessary.

Enough fantasy. Got any science fiction?

Although I am fond of some of Pratchett’s early science fiction, such as “Only You Can Save Mankind” (1992), his best sci-fi is a Discworld book, where the science is garbed in fantasy cosplay. “Going Postal” (2004) is the story of a con artist, Moist von Lipwig, who is reluctantly redeemed as he takes charge of the failing Ankh-Morpork postal service.

[playedbetter]

@the-haunted-office said: From the multimuse questions meme: 5, 9, 13, 14, 25

(Soft reminder to please include the full context, meaning the full prompt/question not just the number/symbol when sending me memes)

which of your muses needs / wants a hug the most?

Going by my current fandom divisions (which I need to put on my doc along with a lot of new muses)

Crime: Kento and his past life Dolly Harris tie for need thanks to being abducted from their families and raised without love; Haru Maeda is the runner up. Badger would like a hug the most.

Horror: Clara both needs and wants one the most on account of being sixteen, responsible for saving a town, and hated by nearly everybody.

Superhero: Incredibly tough competition due to taking this to mean love and affection there is a three way tie between Zatanna Zatara, Zachary Zatara, and Nick Necro. All of them crave love and affection and all have things that get in the way of that. Nathan McDonald wants a hug the most.

Vampires: Lucy Westenra, between all the infantileaztion she went through, dying horribly at age nineteen, and then everything afterwards, she really could use a hug.

Actual Play: Beauregard Lionett, please give this woman a sense of security with the people she loves.

Discworld: I can't recommend hugging any of them for either your safeties stake (Vimes, Vetinari, Adora) or your wallets (Moist). That said, Moist von Lipwig.

Dragon Age: Zinnia Lavellan, she has suffered more than Andraste and her story isn't even over yet.

League of Legends: A tie between Aphelios and Alune, both isolated terribly and put through questionable training and oppression that threatened their lives.

Borderlands: 100% Angel, any sort of affection or love would be amazing for her.

Overwatch: Amélie LaCroix takes the cake thanks to everything that Talon has put her through, please hug her.

Team Fortress 2: Honestly I don't think a hug would help any of them in any major way, though Heavy likes hugs so go give him one.

Misc: The Narrator and Joey Mallone tie for both having spent countless years unable to touch anybody else and watch their loved one slowly die while either going insane or watching their loved one be insane.

Danganronpa: Mukuro Ikusaba and Inuko Hachiya tie thanks to both growing up in completely child inappropriate situations and facing heavy abuse for the stake of despair.

Homestuck: Vriska Serket, another case of how much a secure relationship would actually help.

which of your muses tends to be the group “mom friend”?

Going by my current fandom divisions

Crime: Dallas, he goes mother hen over the gang and trying to get them to get along.

Horror: Artemy Brukah, he can't help but worry so much about everyone and making sure they all have what they need.

Superhero: Barbara Gordon, even when you don't know it she will have your back and keep you covered.

Vampires: Don't say it to her face but Damsel, she is shockingly nosey and absolutely will show you the ropes, there's a reason she's known as a den mother.

Actual Play: None of them, Fjord comes the closest but he's more of a dad friend.

Discworld: By the metric of being nurturing Vetinari, nobody in their right mind would say this though.

Dragon Age: Garrett Hawke, before every adventure he makes sure everybody has their gear, he will cook you soup, he will make you wear warm clothing in winter.

League of Legends: Yone. Literally canonically described as a mom friend.

Borderlands: Absolutely none of them asking for responsibility from these people is like asking water from a rock.

Overwatch: Honestly none of these guys either, none of them are really that nurturing.

Team Fortress 2: Heavy is the only one of them worth a nurturing bone in his body.

Misc: Kim Kitsuragi, his near endless patience and calming affect let him take the spot with ease, and is the blog wide answer.

Danganronpa: Hajime Hinata, exasperated but still trying.

Homestuck: Dirk Strider, which helps exactly zero people.

which of your muses would you consider to be the best cook? (Also asked by @amadaans, ty!)

Excluding Izuru Kamakura & Hajime Hinata given that he is the best at practically everything possible in his universe; it would be Zachary Zatara, he has an active interest in cooking and it's a skill he works on.

While not quite cooking the best mixologist (with the same exclusions) is Leah Kravitz thanks to spending a little over ten years working the New York club scene, Zach in his ritual and injustice verses is a runner up.

Baking wise (same exclusions) it would also be Zach, honestly not a lot of my muses are interested in cooking beyond just taking care of themselves and those that are don't have the time or resources to put into it.

which of your muses second guesses themselves the most? why?

Again by fandom cause I have too many thoughts.

Crime: Kento, he has been trained his whole life to obey orders, so when acting independently he never is quite sure he's doing the right thing.

Horror: Artemy Brukah and Clara tie as they have relived the same 12 days unable to stop many horrible events which has left them questioning what on earth else they could do to try to prevent harm and what the best path really is as none of the roles presented to them are appealing.

Superhero: Nathan McDonald, he is a nineteen year old who is deeply depressed and self depreciating, he is trying his best be he's not sure if it's enough. He hasn't gotten a chance to prove himself.

Vampires: Heather Poe, pre her ghouling she was a pretty anxious person that struggled even just going outside. Some of those doubts remain even now.

Actual Play: A tie between Caleb Widogast and Essek Thelyss, how could they ever fully trust themselves again after what they had done? Caleb grows from this faster than Essek.

Discworld: Vimes, if he fucks up someone is probably going to die. He second guesses himself to a healthy degree.

Dragon Age: Matthew Trevelyan, he spent his life getting indoctrinated by the templars and as he would put 'fell for 'it'. He's worried he's still that gullible, or that those beliefs rubbed off on ways he hasn't noticed.

League of Legends: Lukai Hwei, he was raised having to suppress his mental health issues and emotions which has left him underequiped to deal with them now, even so he has the self awareness to question himself as much as he does everybody else.

Borderlands: Angel by default as the only one without some sort of ego problem, it's certainly not her biggest problem.

Overwatch: Gabriel Reyes, he's made a lot of costly mistakes over the years and he's tired of it.

Team Fortress 2: Spy, his job is a paranoia inducing one where the slightest misstep could spell his death.

Misc: Harry Du Bois, half the time when he's said something he's thinking to himself "why the fuck would you say that"

Danganronpa: Yumeto Ariyoshi, he has actual anxiety and is pretty sure if anyone found out the truth about him he would get promptly killed or erased.

Homestuck: Dirk Strider, because he's fucked up so much before, unfortunately the second guessing does nothing to help.

which of your muses has / would have the silliest ringtone? what would it be?

Harry Du Bois, whose ringtone for literally everybody is this:

It has outed him on an undercover job.

[song-of-the-rune]

Started a new bg3 run so someone could join in and see act 1, and I've decided to roll Moist von Lipwig. At one point all three of my party members were in the same room on the ground surrounded by enemies while I was standing out in the hall, and

Me: "Alright everyone, I'm going to live up to my name."

Fiance: *snickering*

Friend: "What? What does that mean?"

Me: *Slams the door shut and runs away.*

But hey! It saved the run lol

[6qubed]

a christian idiom that I still hold onto despite no longer being one is "There, but for the grace of God, go I." which is to say there is nothing that makes you any different from any other person on the planet, save sheer dumb luck.

now bear with me for a moment while I go on a tangent: you know that glurgy anecdote about a christian kid in a science class "proving" the existence of God? well, as part of his proof, the idea is brought up that science recognizes "heat" as a concept but not "cold", instead viewing it as an absence of heat. but see that's not entirely true, because science doesn't recognize heat, either. what it does recognize is thermal energy. Bill Nye once illustrated this concept on his TV show by demonstrating how you can't melt an ice sculpture with a match, because the sculpture's larger mass allows it to hold more thermal energy than the match's flame, even though that flame is obviously hotter. in a similar vein, and in opposition to that anecdote, I personally don't recognize "good" and "evil/the absence of good" as actual concepts. what I do recognize is selfishness; those of you familiar with the Discworld series might remember the book Going Postal, and Mr. Pump's scathing breakdown of how even though Moist Von Lipwig never killed or even injured anyone with his own hands and in fact abhors violence of any kind, his prolific career as a grifter of nearly every conceivable stripe caused so much incidental misery and suffering in the course of lining his own pockets that it would've been more merciful to simply kill a stranger at random for their coinpurse and be done with the whole business.

now

I said all of that to say this: inherent morality doesn't exist, there is no such thing as "good people" or "bad people", and the answer to the age-old question of "why do bad things happen to good people" is because good and bad don't really exist; it's just things happening to people, which is to be expected so long as people continue to be tangible objects which exist in reality. and reeling the nihilism back in just a bit so as to return to relevance, most of the cognitive friction seems to be due to making a big chart with two categories, "good traits" and "bad traits", and then assigning arbitrary things to either category, which is how we end up at the situation where elon musk can be a cripplingly insecure victim of of his father's abuse who concurrently deserves to be loaded feet-first into a wood chipper for being one of the most reprehensibly obnoxious smug twats on the planet, and somehow this is a contradiction in terms. just because he doesn't deserve a demise that is protracted and agonizing doesn't mean he hasn't earned it.

I thought it was fairly normal to feel empathy for bad people.

I thought it was common, even.

But after my Elon/Grimes post... now I'm wondering if I was mistaken about that.

I wrote a post about Trump being traumatized after his assassination attempt and a post about his poor adaptation to aging. I expressed sympathy for him in both cases. But I still maintain my white hot hatred of him and wish for him to face consequences.

Elon was abused by his father. Some of the stories are incredibly tragic. Hearing those stories triggers an involuntary response in my emotional systems that I can't stop no matter how much I despise present-day Elon. I also wonder if that abuse never occurred maybe we wouldn't be dealing with this current clusterfuck.

I have never held so much anger towards a single person as I do my brother. But I also see him as a victim of abuse. I know he was once a really good person and he was slowly corrupted. I feel sorry for him. I mourn the amazing person he used to be. And I still love him.

But that doesn't make me any less angry.

[carriagelamp]

November 2020: A Months of Familiarity

This November ended up being a month of me either rereading old favourites, exploring new books by favourite authors, or a mix of both.

…Be prepared for so much Terry Prachett, I found his audiobooks on Libby last month and since that I’ve been unstoppable.

The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents

The first of my Terry Practhett books to mention! I chose to include this one on my list because it’s a beautiful stand alone novel, perfect to read if you’ve never touched on of Pratchett’s works before, and is often overlooked.

The book is about Maurice, an “amazing” cat by his own admission, who has teamed up with a stupid boy and his very own plague of rats. The moneymaking scheme is simple: set the rats loose on a town and after causing a panic let the boy stroll in and offer to play his pipe and lead them away… for a fee. This is working well, until Maurice, the boy, and the rats arrive in the town Bad Blintz. Here the rats are beginning to question the morality of their work, the boy gets entangled with a young, mischievous local girl, and they’re all shocked to find out that the town already has a real rat infestation… or so the rat catchers claim. Things quickly turn sinister and deadly as the group is forced to confront not only the cruelty of humanity, but something even more sinister living in the small, dark, hidden place of the town.

This is a YA book, unlike some of Pratchett’s other novels, so it’s a quick, fun read, while still having all of his dry wit and heavy, complicated thoughts about society, morality, belief, and what it means to be a person. It’s a genuine delight to see Maurice and the rats, recently made sentient by wizards’ rubbish, struggle to come to terms with who they were and who they are now.

Black Pearl Ponies: Red Star & Wildflower

Y’all it ain’t a secret at this point that I enjoy a stupid horse girl book, right? I picked up the first two books of the Black Pearl Ponies books from the library on a whim and they were basically what they promised. Girl lives with family on ranch, father helps train horses, girl goes on pony adventures with ponies. A particular focus is given to horse welfare and care. Very mediocre but a nice thoughtless covid read if you, like me, get a craving for animals books written for seven year olds from time to time. Plus this comes with the added humour of it being written, as far as I can tell, by a British author who thinks all Americans are stetson wearing cowboys which I find unreasonably funny.

Crenshaw

I love Katherine Applegate’s work; I read the Endling series earlier this year and they are overwhelmingly good. Crenshaw was also an enjoyable read, though not my favourite by her. It read a little bit like a book I read last fall, No Fixed Address, which was also a very good read though not my usual genre. Crenshaw is about a boy, Jackson, whose family, though close-knit and loving, is experiencing financial difficulties and struggle with food scarcity, homelessness, and all the instability and stress that results from this. During this tumultuous time, Jackson is surprised by the reappearance of a tall, bipedal, snarky cat — Crenshaw, his old imaginary friend. This is a charming book that blends genuine, real world hardships with whimsy and magical realism.

The Enemy Above: A Novel of WWII

Since it was Rememberance Day this month, I decided to pick up a holocaust novel. This book is about 12-year-old Anton, a young Jewish boy who finds himself fleeing from his Polish farm in the middle of the night with his old grandma when a German raiding party that attacks their village in an effort to make the countryside “judenfrei”. The book is, perhaps, not the most well-fleshed out, but it’s fast-paced and exciting for a child/YA audience that’s being introduced to holocaust literature, without trying to downplay the absolutely horror and brutality of the Nazis. It manages to strike a satisfying balance between fear, tragedy, and hope.

“Everything he had heard was true. He was just a twelve-year-old boy and yet they hunted him. He had broken no laws, done nothing wrong. He was simply born Jewish. How could anyone want to kill him for it?”

Gregor the Overlander

Somehow I never knew that Suzanne Collins wrote anything other than The Hunger Games? I stumbled across this series at a used bookstore and was first taken by the cover and then shocked when I realized I recognized the author’s name. Well The Hunger Games was such a good read, how could I not pick up a book with people riding on a giant fucking bat?

Such a good choice. I’m almost done book two and bought book three today after work. It is exactly the sort of low fantasy that I live for, when a fantasy world lives so close to the real world that you can practically touch it. I also love the fact that while all the wild fantastical elements are happening, you still have the main character taking care of his toddler sister the whole time. It’s at times charming, hilarious, and nerve-wracking!

It’s about Gregor, a normal kid who’s doing his best to help his mom take care of his two younger siblings ever since his father disappeared years ago. Gregor expected months of boredom when he agrees to stay home over the summer instead of going to camp like his sister in order to watch his baby sister, Boots, and their grandma while his mom is at work. He never could have expected that a simple trip to the apartment’s laundry room would lead to both him and Boots tumbling miles beneath the earth into the pitch black Underland, a place filled with giant rats and bugs and people with translucent skin who fly through the massive caverns on huge bats. He also could have never expected that he would get wrapped up in a deadly prophecy that would force him to travel into distant, dark lands into the waiting claws of an overwhelming enemy.

Kings, Queens, and In-Between

A Canadian queer novel that I’ve seen trumpeted everywhere. Libraries, classrooms, bookstore, this book got so much hype (and has such a pleasing cover) that I had to get my hands on it. Now, I’ve got to admit that it’s not really my genre; I don’t love realistic fiction. But that being said, it’s a fun, heart-warming, queer romp through that explores gender, sexuality, love, family, friendship… there’s a lot of lovable, quirky, complicated characters that get thrown together in unexpected ways at a local summer carnival. While there’s tension and misunderstandings and mistakes, this is overall a very optimistic and loving novel, and would be a great read if you want a queer novel that reads like cotton candy.

Love, The Tiger

This book is the graphic novel equivalent of a nature documentary. There’s no text, but you follow a day in the life of a tiger as it moves through the jungle on the quest for food. The art is honestly beyond outstanding, and though it’s a really quick read it is so very worth it. I’ve also read Love, The Lion in this series (also good, though a bit more confusing imho) as well as one of the books from his other series Little Tails which is still very nature and education based, though for a slightly younger audience.

Making Money

More Pratchett! Making Money was the first Discworld book I ever read, and it’s one of my most reread ones — it’s an ultimate comfort read! This is technically the sequel to Going Postal (another book I reread this month), in which conman Moist Von Lipwig is saved from a rightful death at the noose in exchange for agreeing to work for the city. Going Postal sees Moist narrowly dodging death in many varied forms as he tries to get the Anhk-Morpork postal service back on its feet and get the drifts of dead, whispering letters moving again. In Making Money things at the post office have become… too easy. Moist is bored, restless, until he finds himself thrust into a new job: head of the Royal Mint. There he has been given not only charge of the biggest bank in Anhk-Morpork, but also a dog with a price on its head, a lethal family with all the money in the world out for his blood, and the fear that his secret past life may be on the verge of being exposed to everyone, all while he’s desperately trying to make money…

The Moist series is honestly an example of Pratchett at his absolute best imo, and the amount of humour, wit, adventure, and scathing commentary he can build around a bank is outstanding. Cannot recommend enough.

The One And Only Ivan

Another book I’ve been hearing everyone talk about, as well as another Katherine Applegate book. It’s been on my radar for a while, but with the sequel and a movie coming out, it had everything at a fever pitch and I finally picked it up. Fantastic read, I definitely enjoyed it more than Crenshaw. This book was based off the true story of Ivan, a gorilla taken from his home in the jungle and sold to the owner of a mall, where he spent years of his life growing from child to adult silverback in a small, concrete enclosure. In this fictionalized version, everything changes for Ivan and his friends, when a new baby elephant is bought to help revitalize the mall attractions and Ivan makes a promise he doesn’t know how to keep: to protect this baby, and keep her from living the life Ivan and his friends were forced to. This book made me very emotional. Applegate’s picture book that goes along with it is also a great companion read.

Ranma ½

I realized that our library had the 2-in-1 editions of Ranma ½ and honestly that was it for me. This has been a favourite series of mine since I was in middle school and realized that the creator of Inuyasha had written other things. It is unapologetically ridiculous and larger-than-life and you have to love the shameless joy it has at being ludicrous. It does start to feel a little repetitive the further into the series you go, but at the moment, with covid, I find I have a huge tolerance for rereading slightly repetitive things so long as they make me happy. And boy howdy does the vaguely queer undertones, endless pining, and relentless slapstick of Ranma ½  make me happy. This is classic manga y’all and if you’ve never read it you should!

The basic premise, for anyone that doesn’t is that of an bonkers martial arts comedy. It follows Ranma and his father who, while training in China, fell into cursed springs. Each spring has the tragic legend of a person or animal who drowned in it, and if someone falls in they inevitably turn into that creature any time they’re doused in cold water. Ranma had the misfortune of falling into “The Spring of Drowned Girl” and, indeed, turns into a girl anytime he’s hit with cold water. Things continue to spiral out of control when Ranma meets his arranged fiancée, Akane, who is as exasperated by this situation as Ranma. Both would rather be fighting people than worrying about things like romance. And don’t worry, there is lots and lots and lots and lots of some of the goofiest martial arts fights that you can imagine for a bunch of high schoolers.

Through the Woods

A beautiful and creepy Canadian graphic novel. I honestly really don’t even know how to describe it in a way that does it justice. It’s a collection of short horror stories, with beautiful, flowing art style that draws you in and sends chills down your spine. I’ll let the art doing the talk, and honestly beg you to go find a way to read this graphic novel:

The Witch’s Vacuum Cleaner: And Other Stories

The last Terry Pratchett book on my list (though shout out to the others I’ve listened to this month: Wee Free Men, Hat Full of Sky, Men At Arms, and Snuff) and one that I actually physically, rather than listening to the audiobook. I included this one because unlike the others, this was a Pratchett book I had never read before. It collects a number of Pratchett’s short stories that had been written for children over a number of years. These weren’t necessarily my favourite examples of Pratchett’s writing (I prefer his longer work that can really dive into social issues) but it was such a quick, easy, fun read that you can’t really help but be charmed by it. I liked the stories that took place in “the wild wild west (of Wales)” in particular.

[leona-florianova]

Hiii I reeeealy adore your blog^^ and I have a question so... what is discworld? I mean I know it's a bunch of books but like what's it about? Google gave me some weird results and now I'm even more confused than before xd

AAAYYYyyyyyyyyyyyy thanks o/

Well there is about 40 of them so It would be rather hard for me to explain what they are in short. 

But imagine there is a flat disc of a world that rests on backs of four elephants and they stand on one giant space turtle... Somewhere on that disc are Gods that play DND with various characters, n the characters live their lives in different periods of time, space and fantasy genre, while still residing on the disc. The Gods and the DND thing usually doesnt play any role in things but its interesting to remember they are there. 

The books are satirical and poke fun of typical fantasy tropes and mirror our own worlds events and troubles... 

Since thereare so many of the books and characters, people made great guides to go by 

like this one 

Rincewind novels are about a failed student of wizardry and professional runner for his life. Its usually him being dragged into situations in which he really doenst want to be involved in, and then him saving the world basically by accident..All he wants is to do sleep and eat potatoes. 

Watch novels are about the revival of the Night Watch (police force) in the biggest city on the disc -- Ankh-Morpork.. Its basically What IF fantasy was written from the point of view of the poor guards killed on first few pages of high fantasy novel... Untill it switches to some quality fantasy noir detective work... The stakes arent WORLD ENDING but usually someone wants to take down the current ruler of the city...  The first one in the series has DRAGONS IN IT

Death novels are.... About the personification of Death himself (and his family) and him trying to figure out humanity... of others and of his own. 

Ancient Civilizations are stand alone books... About well... Godhood.

Witches novels are obviously about witches... Witches fixing stuff for people wheather the people want to or not. About fighting the system (well most of discworld novels are about that one way or the other) N mainly about gals having adventures...figuring stuff for themselves. 

Tiffany Aching novels are part of the witches novels but i guess they are more classified as books for children even though (especially though?) some of their aspects scared me the most of all the books. They are about a gal who has to become a witch...Befriends a bunch of tiny cursing aggressive smurf barbarians..

Industrial Revolution are about (re)discovering new (old?) technology in world partially working on magic... Cinema, Press, telegraph, etc...

Moist von Lipwig novels are about conman who has to turn a new leaf in his life and make ANKH MORPORK POST OFFICE GREAT AGAIN...  its....HEALTHY CAPITALISM VS CORRUPT CAPITALISM...and ALOT OF FUN

Some people say that they dont like the first two books that much and that they wouldnt recommend it as the first to read.. but tbh I think they are ok... 

I hope it somewhat answers your question..I cant think today

[scareclouddraws]

(painted in SAI, edited in GIMP)

ID under cut

Characters from Terry Pratchett's discworld in various memes.

Samuel Vimes and Sybil Ramkin wedding photo drawn over The bride and the ugly ass groom meme.

Magrat Garlick and Verence in jester outfit in the Excuse me! He asked for no pickles meme.

Carrot saing the watch's oath (Repeat after me: I comma square bracket recruit’s name square bracket comma do solemnly swear by square bracket recruit’s deity of choice square bracket to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust comma and defend the subjects of His stroke Her bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket Majesty bracket name of reigning monarch bracket without fear comma favor comma or thought of personal safety semi-colon to pursue evildoers and protect the innocent comma laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty comma so help me bracket aforesaid deity bracket full stop Gods Save the King stroke Queen bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket full stop) and Agnua thinking Ohhh I can't not fuck him.

Adora Belle Dearheart smoking in bed and Moist von Lipwig is naked and shooked beside her. Drawn over i love when ppl draw ships like this actually.

Terry Pratchett really knew how to make het ships, huh?

refs under cut

Vimes and Sybila: The bride and the ugly ass groom

Magrat and Verence: I trased this back to the future fanart (that is why it is so much better then rest lol) based on this meme ofc

Carrot and Angua: The source is this famous little mermaid comic but I was inspired by this dungeon meshi fanart

Adora and Moist: This ship dynamic post

[brunhiddensmusings]

So I haven't been on your blog for very long but you seem like someone who has a good taste in books. Basically I was wondering if you could recommend some good Terry Pratchett books for people like me who are new to him? (Sincerely someone who has never read a single one of his books but is interested anyway)

okay, theres a great many good books i can reccomend but Terry Pratchett’s discworld novels i can reccomend to basically everyone while still understanding that entering it may be quite daunting because its a complicated question to answer likely, start where i started, with a book thats not even one of the mainline 'paths’ of discworld, has little continuity with any of the other stories, but does a good job of at least touching base on a wide selection of the myriad cast of the world and does an excelent job of at least giving you the FEEEL of discworld complete with stunning artwork The last hero, a discworld fable

after this brief introduction of equal parts humor, philosophy, satire, and gutpunch feels you can make a decision on which ‘path’ of novels to start on next which is usually where people get lost because theres a wide selection of flowcharts that look like a troubleshooting guide for soviet agracultural equipment considering many of them end with “3.0″ or have sections crossed out and arrowed over to the left ill make it simpler, breaking it into introductory and intermediate chunks beginner- which of the following sounds more appealing to you? a retelling of macbeth in a setting where witches act like actual old ladies who get into everyone elses business which repeatedly gets elbow deep in folklore punctuated with light slaps towards shakespear or a crime/detective story set in a city where a troll/dwarf racewar is always on the back burner, the thieves guild and assassins guild are prominent political powers, and ‘wizards did it’ is a legitimate possibility to most crimes if the first is your choice start with Wyrd Sisters (also available as an animated movie but read first as much of the humor doesnt translate well from page to screen), first of the witches of Lancre path... well okay ‘equal rites’ is technically before that but its a more intermediate book you can tackle later. you dont have to immediately read the rest of the witches line unless you feel like it instead of exploring the other paths but they very much have to be read in order otherwise- the order being wyrd sisters, witches abroad, lords and ladies, masquerade, and carpe jugulum before branching off to the tangent tiffany novels Wee free men, Hatfull of sky, and Wintersmith if the second choice appeals more then sit down to Guards Guards, first of the nights watch novels and unlike the witches novels i would highly reccomend going from one to the next immediately instead of waiting till you feel ready to come back and deeply have to be read in order because a lot changes and a lot of continuity happens everywhere that gets deep. the nights watch novels are likely what i would suggest to most readers to start but i also hesitate a bit because it gets heavy in the...  heavyness. some of the best detective stories and political commentary out there. the order is Guards guards, Men at arms, Feet of clay, Jingo, the fifth elephant,Night watch, Thud, and Snuff with honorable mention children's book ‘wheres my cow’ intermediate the death novels, by now you will have met Death with a capital D and know he has all the best lines. good news! he has his own path of books with Mort, Reaper man, Soul music, Hogfather, and overlap with Thief of time. it should not be a surprise that these are also on the heavy side, the humor is a bit more dry and dark, but also surprisingly uplifting. if youve ever seen this comic you now know hwere its from

the novel where Death and his granddaughter save christmas equivalant from being destroyed by a particularly cunning assasin plot to destroy the world -good news again, that particular book is available as a movie, and Christopher Lee voices death as is the only correct human possible to even try Monstrous regiment also goes here, its fantastic with deeply political lesbian energies as well as the ‘industrialization’ and ‘moist von lipwig’ path of Moving pictures, The Truth, Going postal, and Making money. these books are where technology and economy collide headfirst with the fantasy setting youve come to know finally the advanced novels better left till after youve read a few of the others here, ironically, we put the first novels writen in the series and introduce whats arguably the most central figure in the setting, Rincewind and the wizzard path with The colour of magic, which shows its age more then the other novels as the world hadnt been finalized quite yet, its also available as a movie thats fairly decent

you will notice DRASTIC changes as you continue the wizzard path with The light fantastic, Sourcery, Faust Eric, Interesting times, The last continent, Unseen accademicals, and circling back to The last hero theres also assorted miscellaneous novels in the discworld that aren't in one of these paths such as Small gods, Pyramids, The amazing Maurice and his educated rodents, and the short story Troll bridge as well as the previously mentioned Equal rites if you want a brief synopsis of any particular book before hunting it down to know if you want to pursue it ill be happy to comply

ook

[patricianandclerk]

discworld characters with the rawest top energy:

adora belle dearheart (not up for debate)

sybil ramkin (also not debatable)

susan sto helit

willikins

gytha ogg

margolotta

sally von humpeding

rosemary palm

roberta “call me madam” meserole

polly perks

jack jackrum

sacharissa cripslock

discworld characters with the rawest bottom energy:

havelock “oh, vimes, please save me, whatever shall i do~!” vetinari

nobby nobbs (i’m sorry)

ponder stibbons

lord downey

lieutenant blouse

william de worde

cosmo lavish (again, sorry, but... i mean, come on)

constable visit-the-infidel-with-explanatory-pamphlets

discworld characters who have the most blessed and unholy measure of both:

sam vimes (will top anybody except that sybil’s incredible top energy could overwhelm galaxies)

moist von lipwig

victor tugelbend, who invented being vers, and i’m so grateful

maladict(a)

otto chriek

not only would i encourage you to add your own additions to this terrible post, but i would beg you to join me in making it even worse

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

You may have already explained this and I just can't find it, but what is wrong with Vimes?

Ah I didn’t tag it very well but I kind of answered it in a previous ask also talked about it here. 

Copy/Paste from the ask: 

Ah, Vimes. You know, my personal tastes in characters have changed as I’ve gotten older. I used to like that sort of No Nonsense Cop Who Has A Moral Code He Follows Fuck the Man etc. etc. the inverse Noir type basically. But now I’m less invested and interested in those sorts of characters. I also found Vimes trodding a wee bit down the white saviour path in later books which made me roll my eyes. Alongside that, I struggle now to like characters where it’s obvious the author wants me to agree with them morally. I automatically go: No. I shan’t. Ew. Stop.

From a world building perspective I feel like so many novels with Vimes as the main character was wasted potential. I was so happy when we finally got Moist Von Lipwig and De Worde additions to the Ankh-Morpork world. I wish we had a book on each guild, you know? Thieves. Seamstresses. Assassins. Even the more mundane like Merchants or Coopers or something. There are still plenty of opportunities with each guild to grind an axe.  

Basically? I just got bored of Vimes and I was frustrated by the potential in Discworld that wasn’t dug into 

in addition to the above: 

I dislike that the punch-the-wall thing is written off as a joke. Male violence is not a funny subject. Most punching of walls is done to show that he could have punched you but didn’t. I know it’s outside the oblong office and the power difference is present but it’s still deeply uncomfortable and was never adequately unpacked/addressed.

I have no issue with anger issues and violence being a part of a character, I just want the narrative around it to make it clear that certain handling of the anger isn’t healthy and not write it off as a joke. 

From the second link above: “Pratchett didn’t handle the transition from writing and subverting tropes to actual fictional characters well. He is a genius at certain things, but doing a nuanced and interesting exploration of violent masculinity - which Vimes embodies and it is unsettling and scary and not good - wasn’t a strength of his. If it had been I wouldn’t have this gripe. I love difficult characters and angry people and ugly people but I want it written well and handled tactfully and with awareness. He lacked that.”

Also from the second link: “Addition: Also I love talking about violence, masculinity and emotions because they’re not talked about in a healthy or realistic manner. And I feel Vimes’ characterization plays into that. He must be a Man - oh he has his acceptable “feminine” moments (loofa, pink night gown, etc.) but they are used in a way to position just how masculine he is. Which is fine, but I hope such writing would do something interesting with it and Pratchett doesn’t deliver. And of course the parts of society he was nit-picking weren’t gender roles and sexuality (in all its expressions). His axe to grind was class. At the end of the day for him it always boiled down to class. Which is important to talk about! But it also means a lot of things got left to the wayside and I think it’s perfectly valid and important to talk about the things that got left to the wayside.”

Character growth is actually quite shallow and lacks meaning. I once joked that Downey has more character growth off screen than Vimes does on screen and yes jokes, but also it’s true. 

I personally dislike how he handles alcoholism. I grew up with both parents as addicts - drugs and alcohol - and so it’s a subject that’s quite personal. TP’s handling is not my favourite thing. 

Esp. the drive-by insult to AA. Like that saved my mom and my dad’s lives. Again, I’m fine with Vimes being a stubborn ass who wants to Go It Alone Like A Man because he’s too chicken-shit scared to talk about his emotions but make that a Vimes Trait not a universal statement. 

More TP than Vimes but the “racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting.” A) cringe-worthy comment B) ignores Jingo and Vimes’ rampant racism in there C) does nothing to address the fact that it’s clear the Dwarfs represent a Jewish population, Trolls are black folk (and OOF. Oof.), vampires are Eastern Europeans that all the Brits are scared are going to take their jobs etc, etc. 

Essentially, as I said in the previous post, I’ve just changed as a person and my expectations for books has changed. I’ve got a higher bar. TP doesn’t reach it on a lot of accounts. And that’s a shame, because there was a lot of potential. 

(obvious disclaimer: I am in no way saying people cannot enjoy this series; I am in no way saying that people cannot find deep meaning in it, safety in it, see themselves in characters in it. I’m just stating my own, personal, issues and critiques of Vimes. And TP as a writer. Because no writer is perfect and I think we should be able to talk about his faults without causing conniption fits.) 

Thank you for the ask even though it is Spicy and I may receive Salty and Spicy responses to it. 

[bawdyknocker]

krakensdottir wrote:

it has been well over a decade since i last read any of the jan rawlins books, but i still remember clear as day what bullies her main cast had a tendency to be. people teased and bullied them, and so when time came to complete a revenge arc, you bet yer ass they fuckin did A Revenge. and i dont recall them being kind either. the worst bit to me is that tehy had every opportunity to show mercy, if only for their future selves to take solace in not having done terrible things when they could've.

[Never mind that harold patisserie grew up in a traumatic household, and like NEVER got therapy, or even a moments self-reflection of how that shit mightve permanently fucked him up... serious character development points completely whiffed. janky ranker could really take a lesson from leigh bardugo on vengeful character dev...]

counter this with pterry's good characters... sam vimes makes a great example here. a former alcoholic who looks like "a half drowned cat on a good day" (and user roach-works has demonstrated how jowling feels about cats...), sam is constantly at odds with himself. he *knows* he could be a good person, but he also *knows* he could much mpre easily be a bad person. he thinks of himself as a good person. and yet, most of the watch books make us privy to the thoughts of a man in constant struggle to do the morally right thing. sam wouldnt be able to live in comfort if he allowed himself a descent down a dark path (eg, "who watches the watchmen" ... "i do").

the astonishing ease with which jacob ramblings "morally good" characters justify little evils throughout those books, and yet seldom (if ever) seem to question the full breadth of consequences to those actions, speaks volumes of the author's true feelings of morals and justice.

...so pterry has shown anyone *can* become bad, but does he show how anyone "bad" can also become good? well, a brief look at sam again shwows an alcoholic staying clean for the rest of the books hes featured in. Moist von Lipwig (nee Spangler) repeatedly becomes a (re)founding pillar of ankh-morpork institutions. Rincewind is a college droput who has saved the world twice, and then again helps to save both the counterweight and lost continents (while being gay and disabled) ...[for sake of brevity, ill not get into the White Saviour imperialist wossnames here, though it shouldnt be discounted whatsoever.]

The point being, the leopard indeed CAN change its shorts. OVER AND OVER pterry writes this. different stories and characters and settings and trials...

like, FUCK. even the books about teenage girl wielding power beyond her conprehension, wrangling that power and STRUGGLING to use it for good. The Hiver take over her mind and body and pushes her to do horrible things. at the end of the book she realizes those were things she WANTED TO DO... and also things she was fully capable of doing. and yet. in I Shall Wear Midnight, she uses her power to make the bad people show their evil to the world, thus sewing seeds of their own downfall. so she has learned what evil is, and has also learned and SHOWN how not to be that way. and that is, in fact, still a struggle, but ultimately worthwhile.

I’m hardly the first person to compare them but Terry Pratchett and J K Rowling really are polar opposites in terms of the way their writing treats weird characters. In Rowling’s writing, any weirdness is there to be laughed at (for example: Professor Trelawney, the fake seer who doesn’t know she’s an actual seer). In Pratchett’s writing, though, the characters’ weirdness is taken 100% seriously and the humor arises organically from the situation itself and is never at the characters’ expense (for example: in Making Money, the man who was born a clown and was never told so until he was 13 years old). In Rowling’s writing, the main characters poke constant fun at Professor Trelawney, making joke predictions and fudging homework and talking about how divination isn’t a legitimate field of study. Even after she gets fired and more or less drops the act, the joke changes to “look at this sad drunk lady” and the main characters express little sympathy. The narrative is saying she’s there to make one real prediction and otherwise she’s only there for comic relief. This sort of thing happens over and over in Rowling’s writing, where any quirkiness is there to be laughed at and the misfortunes of characters we’re not supposed to like are supposed to be funny, and it sends a message of conformity under threat of ridicule. In Pratchett’s writing, the clown man’s story is treated as a great tragedy: imagine growing up not knowing why you are the way you are, and then finding out the truth as a teenager! And knowing that your own mother kept the truth from you! This man was so deeply traumatized by this he denied himself any humor or fun for decades, and when he has a crisis and runs off to become a clown again, he is given support and medical treatment and is welcomed back to his job at the bank and accepted for who he is. The fact that this whole situation is hilarious is secondary. And again, this sort of thing happens over and over again in Pratchett’s writing, where characters’ quirkiness is embraced and often seen as irreplaceable by the end of the book, and it sends a message that our quirks are valuable and weirdness should be acceptable. It just strikes me as a much… kinder approach to people, you know?

[captainclickycat]

Since “tropes as a framework for viewing fiction” were the topic du jour yesterday, it got me thinking about what if I did view the (original non-fan) fiction I like through the lens of “what tropes do I like.” It’s not something I’d usually do necessarily, but it was fun and interesting so in the spirit of that, here are some of my favourite original fiction tropes.

o Small towns with dark secrets

o Goofy “lovable rogue” type characters (Moist von Lipwig, I’m looking at you for a start)

o Really well-executed foreshadowing that you spot in a rewatch

o That bit where the hero is almost down-and-out but then they get their second wind or find out some crucial information and save the day

o M/f friendships that are genuinely platonic and based on mutual fondness for each other with no attraction involved

o Seemingly nice respectable families with dark secrets

o Plot twists that are beautifully executed and make so many things make sense when you read/watch it again

o The revelation that a certain character has been secretly manipulating events all along and all the seemingly chaotic directions the plot took were all part of their elaborate grand plan (hero or villain, doesn’t really matter as long as they’re a secret chessmaster)

o Really indulgent, elaborate descriptions of food