#my YouTube algorithm is playing mind games

[wintermav]

YouTube doing me dirty bc I didn’t search for this and now I’m 😭

[literaryscribs]

Can I just say that I wish, I really really wish, people would quit calling 20-24 year old characters "bad" or "childish writing" for literally just... ACTING THEIR AGE?!??! Doubly if they have a disability or are specifically coded to be autistic, adhd etc.

Seriously? Is someone out there seriously implying that everyone magically matures into a grizzled, emotionally constipated war veteran the second a 19 year old crosses the threshold into their noughties?

Think real damn hard on things you did when you were younger if you're older currently. We've ALL done cringe stuff that keeps us up until the wee hours of the morning in embarrassment. Whether it be something we said or clogging up someone's toilet, puking all over the place because we partied too hard or sent literal car parts flying because you were learning to drive. You don't just snap your fingers and BAM! YOU'RE MATURE! CUE THE CELEBRATIONS!

Maturity comes from life experiences, the good times, the cringe moments and the failures. Not age. Otherwise you wouldn't have kids/teens behaving way beyond their years due to ongoing and consistent abuse/neglect, nor childish adults trying to relive their teen years at their 'prime' at the very least.

I don't care if it's a fantasy game or if it's set in the future. If a character is 21/22 I *expect* random stupidity, foot in mouth moments. I expect them to be over confident or make poor decisions at times. That's prime time to be figuring your own identity out, making yourself standalone, supporting friends via learning from said mistakes and experiences they've had. It's not supposed to be smooth or perfect.

[athenaluciscaelum]

I hate to tell you, but DMC has always had "red pilled" male fans. In fact they were the first fans. DMC, like all games of the time, were made with male fans and only male fans in mind. They don't need Netflix to tell them DMC exists and it's sad you think that's the case.

You're the noob here, not them. You only think your the majority or the only ones because you live in an echo chamber.

Also I thought gatekeeping was bad? But I guess if you didn't have double standards you wouldn't have any.

Grow up, people you don't like will enjoy the same things you do and there's nothing you can do to stop it

So let's contextualise this:

First, I can have an opinion and say it out loud. Those who feel the same can agree. And those who don't can disagree respectfully. So far I did not come across much red pilled content related to DMC, yeah, I have been intentionally keeping off community on Instagram and twitter (I'm rarely not on both social media because they are unproductive and I have a job) because that's where the toxic community mostly resides. On Tumblr, Pinterest, and YouTube it hasn't been the case for me. Maybe it is my algorithm but so far it's been more than a decade and no problem.

Second, ym in many places globally, gaming and video games have not much penetration. The place where I am is the capital and much hub of gaming in my country. But guess what, even within the gaming community only Tekken, Street Fighter, Resident Evil, or Mortal Kombat is majorly popular. Many people haven't played DMC or do not know of its existence. On the other hand, Netflix is well penetrated, many people haven't played Witcher or Castlevania, but knows of Witcher or Castlevania from Netflix. The same will happen to DMC, it will become mainstream, beyond just gaming. Because Netflix is much more accessible,it is just a subscription and screen. But gaming is not that accessible gaming PCs are expensive to say the least compared to Netflix. And not everybody plays video games, but everybody watches some sort of OTT or visual content.

Third, I am a noob? Well I'm 26 and have known and played DMC since I was 8, so ....and I never said I'm the majority, I just shared what has been my experience so far ...many agreed and you could disagree without sending hate like anonymous who is too scared to give an identity to your voice.

Fourth, DMC is for the public, I cannot possibly gate keep it. But I can express my sadness or fear...my whole take was Dante is a beautiful character who is known for his humanity and if the red pill tries to misinterpret him or other female characters from mysogynist lens, it will be upsetting and ugly to say the least.

Fifth, I am not stopping anyone... I'm not some multimillionaire who can just buy DMC and gatekeep it...but I can respectfully share my opinion online. And if my lil 6-7 lines post mentally hurt you so much to go out of your way, try to insult me and fail. Then, I don't know which of us needs growing us.

[rainwaterapothecary]

Luis Serra built a radiotherapy machine in a cave in Spain and I think I can prove it. (Long post warning!)

So I’m minding my own business, sanding a door, when all of a sudden the re4 lore video I have playing hits me with:

“The only way to survive infection is to rid the creature via radiation therapy.”

Snake Meal then went on to say that Leon “used Luis’ equipment to destroy the Plaga within Ashley and himself.”

…So wait a minute, did Luis build a radiation therapy machine in the middle of noplace with Saddler breathing down his neck?

Well shit, he did.

Let’s talk about that.

Quick Preface:

-My knowledge before researching came solely from Plainly Difficult’s YouTube breakdowns of when these machines go wrong, so I’m kind of reverse-engineering ft. Google. I am so far from being an expert it’s laughable.

-I’m narrowing down my search to 2004 and before, preferably 2002 or so. The game takes place in 2004 and Luis was kidnapped by the cult before then, so I’m gonna say he hasn’t had a chance to pick up a scientific journal in a while.

-There’s some info I’ve cut from this post because it read more like a scientific paper but if y'all want any of the dry stuff I can post the full paper on Google Docs or something.

Now, let the research breakdown commence!

Going into this I knew of radiation machines, but they were always the ones that rotated around the subject, like this one:

Turns out, there’s at least one type of radiotherapy machine that fits roughly what Luis had built and it was first built in 1991.

It’s called a Cyberknife, and this is what it looks like:

Consider me intrigued.

“CyberKnife is a small compact linear accelerator mounted on a robotic arm that moves around the person to give radiation from many different directions. Computers track a person’s position and movement. If a person moves slightly, the robotic system can adjust by repositioning before the beam of radiation is delivered.“ (cancer.ca)

TL;DR- The arm moves around the patient from different directions while a computer tells it where to shoot.

Luis really said ‘anything you can do I can do x3, under budget, and without internet’. His machine even sounds like the Cyberknife, it’s great.

The ability of both machines (Luis’ and C.K.) to ‘track’ the tumor/Plaga is interesting since it follows something called ‘Image-Guided Radiation Therapy (IGRT)’ which didn’t come into popular use until 2004.

Remember why 2004 was important but discounted from my research?

Because Luis was already on the damn island by then.

Luis either took this concept he’d seen in passing and built it, or he came up with the idea completely on his own, conceptualized it, and then built a working model in the middle of nowhere, Spain with a cult breathing down his neck.

In the same year scientists on the outside (where they can collaborate and consult other people in their fields) were able to build and release such a thing.

This, however, is one of the first places Luis’ machine differs from ‘official’ radiotherapy machines -

His imaging.

Here’s his screen:

Most radiotherapy machines these days use MRI or CT scans for imaging (and Cyberknife uses X-rays).

But that’s not what his screen looks like. MRI/CT scans are too clean.

You know what his screen looks like to me though?

It looks like an ultrasound. His screen has the little gray motion lines that waver as the machine searches around for the Plaga inside of Ashley.

^See? The gray lines move around and the Plaga moves around.

This is fascinating to me since CT/MRI/X-Rays all take ‘slices’ or ‘snapshots’ of the body. You have to hold really still when they are taken.

You know what doesn’t hold still when getting imaging done?

Babies. And babies are seen using ultrasounds.

I think he utilized some form of ultrasound technology beneath/inside the chair itself to ping upward and get images of the Plaga as it moves.

Then the algorithms begin to track the Plaga once the ultrasound has brought it into view, the beams ‘lock on’, and fire radiation into the Plaga (and the poor fuckers between the radiation and the Plaga).

In some other post we can unpack the fact that apparently Luis has enough mathematical and programing know-how to build tracking algorithmns from the ground up. Mechanics? Check. Maths? Check. Programming? Jesus Christ my dude, Mensa is about to pull you over for speeding.

…And yes, I know ultrasounds are touchy and shouldn’t work with that much air between it and whatever it’s imaging, but I’m giving it the ‘sci-fi rule’: it looks like it works, so it works. This will not be the only time I invoke this rule.

Now his robotic arms.

The Cyberknife has just the one, but it has similar flexibility:

Thus it would make sense for two of the arms on Luis’ machine to be for imaging like the Cyberknife:

But as we see from his display, they’re not.

All three of them are for firing radiation. When the circles all overlap, the system will fire. Luis wasn’t taking any chances with this shit. He’s hitting it fast and hitting it hard. (This will come into play later.)

Next up is his chair. Granted, the chair looks a lot more utilitarian (and sci-fi catchall) from other angles, but the very first time we see his chair it looks like this:

Following the concept that his lab is filled with things that are just a little to the left of what he needs, I would say that this looks like a surgical ‘beach chair’:

They’re meant to hold a person still while operating on an arm or shoulder. His chair looks like it has space for arm and head restraints, and the bottom of the leg rest flips up to hold the feet in place.

Et voila:

I think I’m onto something.

I also think he has a LINAC machine hidden somewhere in his lab. (We are now entering the 'way above my paygrade’ segment.)

A  “LINear ACcelerator uses microwave technology to accelerate electrons then allows these electrons to collide with a heavy metal target to produce high-energy x-rays.” (radiologyinfo.org)

TL;DR - it makes radiation go brrrr so it can be shot into things

How he got one or where it’s stored are completely beyond me, since if he had gotten one by just asking for it, he would have had to answer a lot of questions that the cult (that WORSHIPS the things he’s destroying) wouldn’t be very happy with the answer to… but he wouldn’t have to hide it.

However, I don’t see one when looking around his chair.

I DO, however, see a bunch of machines that could easily be hiding one.

(Sci-fi logic says ‘what if he built one!!!!’ and imma be real with you chief, I don’t think he has the space to build a nuclear accelerator from the ground up. Hiding one though, that I’ll believe.)

It would have had to be a relatively big object since the microchip-sized LINACs weren’t conceptualized until 2015 and were only built successfully in 2023:

^Very cool. Very small. Very not possible in 2004. :'(

However, here is the rough size of different radiotherapy machines available on the market from 1956:

1972:

And on the Cyberknife cir. 2019, just because that’s the model I’ve been referencing:

So while there are some LINAC machines that are ~3 km long, the ones used on radiotherapy machines aren’t super big. They're not microchip-size, but anything the size of a washing machine would suffice to mask this thing.

I think he could safely be hiding it somewhere physically nearby to where the robot arms come from before dividing its blast into three high-energy beams.

Which leads me to my final big difference between Luis’ machine and any market-available models:

The possibility of pain. (Told you it would be important later.)

My research says that radiation therapy shouldn’t hurt, even if sometimes local anesthesia is applied to the site before starting the treatment. (Location of treatment, type of cancer, etc.)(Sources are linked below!)

However, when radiology machines malfunction (which is rare!!! I only know of three (3) instances where a machine fucked up out of the decades we’ve been using this technology) they leave behind radiation burns and stabbing pains.

Which, ow.

But Ashley was in instant, screaming agony. Granted, I’m not sure if that was from radiation or from the Plaga embedded into her nervous system, but his machine applied three streams of radiation where traditional devices use one. Her treatment time was around 21 seconds total while traditional treatments take at least a few minutes per dose.

Personally I’m inclined to believe that it was the Plaga causing her pain, due to her scream not changing at any point (thus illustrating the source of her pain not changing from radiation to Plaga.) Even if it was a quick jolt of burning from the machine, switching over to the pain of a parasite hijacking her every nerve ending at once, there would have been some change (in my experience with chronic pain, at least).

But it can’t be ruled out. Ashley was in agony and a traditional machine would not have that effect on a patient.

At least if you’re paralyzed with pain you don’t have to worry about being held in place so the machine can do its job? Silver lining?

Sci-fi logic, my friends. Sci-fi logic.

In closing, Luis Sera MacGyver Navarro created a radiation device that not only functioned as he needed it to, but it could work repeatedly without a massive cooldown time in between uses or internal errors when operated by two amateurs who had no idea what they were doing.

And he made it out of the mechanical equivalent of paperclips, bubblegum, and the particle accelerator he’s hiding in a closet.

Sources:

Radiotherapy explanations/descriptions/history - [Siemens][MSK Cancer Center][Wikipedia][MD Anderson][Virginia Radiation][Canadian Cancer Society][National Cancer Institute][Standford Healthcare]

Surgical 'beach chair' - [hillrom.com][davidscottco.com][arthrex.com][Anesthesia Patient Safety Foundation]

Linac info/images/articles - [Space.Com][RadiologyInfo.Org][Wikipedia][Google]

RE4R Youtube Videos - ["The LORE of ALL Resident Evil 4 Enemies" uploaded by Snake Meal][Plaga removal cutscene uploaded by CrispyBenoit]

Cyberknife Youtube Videos - ["How Cyberknife Works" uploaded by Mt. Miriam Cancer Hospital]["CyberKnife® Robotic Radiosurgery System Demonstration" uploaded by ThedaCare]

Ultrasound, MRI, CT images/info - [sciencedirect.com][Mt. Auburn OB/GYN][Desert Imaging]

[dollishmehrayan]

random as ever, but do you have any tips for learning new languages?

Hii, okay so I gathered a list for you to learn but I definitely know one thing is that all the languages I know became easier for me because I surrounded myself with people who speak it too and just thought that I would share that first because it takes me about 9 months to fluently master pronunciation + speaking + writing and etc and all the languages I listed I have no problem speaking today so yeah , okay so here’s my list!

1. Immerse Yourself in the Language

Surround yourself with the language through movies, music, and TV shows and like if that specific language country has memes so like any social media app changes your algorithm yk?

Change your phone, apps, and social media settings to the language you're learning, like for me my whole phone is in dutch too from back when I was learning but I’m luckily now highly fluent in Dutch but I’m trying to navigate slang words though

Try to think or talk to yourself in that language during the day, like try to talk to yourself in that language in your mind or try to read / pronounce whatever language you want

2. Practice Daily (Consistency is Keyy)

Dedicate at least 15–30 minutes daily to learning or practicing at your desk or just anywhere (I would recommend 30 minutes a day)

Use language teachers but I would NOT recommend duolingo even though it could be used as a small fun activity for you since you’ll learn some small words

Focus on speaking, listening, reading, and writing in equal measure so you don’t get stuck on only being able to write the language or like speak it

3. Learn Vocabulary First

Start with the most common words and phrases (basic greetings, numbers, and survival words, 1,2,3,) just etc

Use flashcards too but you can always find someone to like help you while they hold whatever you wrote while you try to memorize it

Label everyday objects in your brain to your specific language

4. Focus on Practical Phrases

Learn phrases you would actually use in daily life not just very formal like google translate does but instead maybe a bit of slang && casual stuff for everyday and etc

Practice introducing yourself, ordering food, or asking for directions even if you aren’t in that country

5. Don’t Be Afraid to Speak

Even if you're a beginner, try to speak the language early on even though you might be embarrassed slightly it’s okay and it just means the more progress

Practice with language exchange partners or tutors online

6. Grammar Isn’t Everything at First

Focus on getting your point across rather than being perfect but later on try to fix your grammar as you go on yk what I mean?

Learn grammar in small doses; prioritize understanding sentence structure basics and being able to understand

7. Surround Yourself with Native Speakers

Join language meetups or local groups or like pen pals or online friends

Watch native speakers' content on platforms like YouTube or social media watch those specific people from certain country you want to speak its language

Use social media to follow creators in the target language too

8. Make it enjoyable

Learn with activities you enjoy

Listen to music and look up lyrics of specific song

Watch dubbed versions of your favorite shows or cartoons in that language (try to watch educational shows in that specific language)

Play games or read books in the target language

9. Practice Listening Early

Listen to podcasts or audio content designed for learners

Pay attention to pronunciation and intonation even if you don’t understand everything yet but it will help later

10. Use a Notebook or Journal

Write down words, phrases, and grammar rules you learn in your notebook daily

Practice writing short sentences or stories daily

11. Test Yourself Often

Take quizzes, do language puzzles, or play word games to test your memory

Use apps or websites that provide exercises and feedback

12. Be Patient with Yourself

Learning a language takes time and effort, so don’t rush it into months and weeks and don’t quit early too

Celebrate small wins, like understanding a phrase or having a short conversation with someone whether irl or yourself or online

13. Expose Yourself to Different dialects of specific language (if it has any)

Languages can vary by region of like specific country

Listen to different dialects to develop a broader understanding of the language

14. Track Your Progress

Set achievable goals (e.g., learn 50 new words a month, or hold a basic conversation in three months) promise yourself something rewarding like a night out or etc

Reflect on how much you’ve improved, even if it feels small and try to kinda romanticize it too

15. Never Stop Being Curious

Learn about the culture behind the language instead of just learning the language and try to connect with the culture and respect it too

Ask questions, explore idioms, and understand humor in the language and quirks and words that they only have in that language

Okay so that was all my list so I hope you enjoy <33

[cozywithanna]

Coziness is a privilege

Dear cozy readers,

Lately, I’ve been giving in to my worst habits: doomscrolling, overthinking, and catastrophizing. The world just feels so heavy and the more I retreat, the more guilt I feel that I’m able to retreat. It’s a work in progress to understand what the best balance is of action, awareness, and alleviation. So, here’s to carving out moments of gentleness, connection, small joys, even in a scary world. 📖 Soft Reading: "Remember when the internet used to be fun?"

If you’ve ever longed for the days of personal blogs, weird niche sites, and non-algorithmic joy, this piece is for you. It perfectly captures the feeling of internet nostalgia and the magic we lost somewhere along the way. (In other news, I’ve just gotten into Substack and the community is lovely and very Tumblr-esque). 🎟️ Mindful Pastimes: Going to the movies alone

A solo movie date is truly underrated. I recently watched The Penguin Lessons after reading the book last month, and it was incredibly peaceful. It didn’t hurt that I was literally the only person in the theater, but on that note I will take this opportunity to recommend everyone see The Penguin Lessons (solo or with others!). 📱 Wholesome Scrolling: Amber’s Textiles

I love artists who make the world feel brighter, and Amber Davenport does just that. Her colorful, travel-inspired prints are playful, nostalgic, and full of warmth. I have a few of her art prints, and they never fail to make me smile and transport me to a peaceful European-style village. 🎧 Calm Listening: Chill Crossing Hour on YouTube

If you’re into cozy gaming aesthetics and playing something in the background while you work or study, this is the YouTube page for you. Come for the Animal Crossing-style cherry blossom cafes and rainy day bookstores. Stay for the chill jazz tunes. 🥖 Simple Bites: Whole Wheat Loaf by Gemma’s Bigger Bolder Baking

Nothing feels homier than the smell of fresh bread. And as someone trying to cut back on preservatives while boosting my protein intake, whole wheat is the way to go. I’ve been making sandwiches with this bread, salmon, and chive cream cheese and I am obsessed. 🕯️ Comfort Item: Yankee Candles

As a New Englander, I feel protective over Yankee Candle. Of all the major candle brands, I find their scents to be the coziest, including my favorite: Home Sweet Home, which is cinnamon-y and the most cottagecore scent I can think of. Bonus: Yankee Candle just released their new spring collection, and I definitely added their Garden Rain Shower candle to my collection. 💭 Warm Thoughts "Breathe. And let this chapter be what it needs to be." — Morgan Harper Nichols Take care, stay cozy, and I’ll see you next time (hopefully with less doom and gloom in my heart).

[vaguely-concerned]

playing a souls game means that I am watching a lot of long form youtube vids on the side once more, and it has allowed me to remember in full force that sinclair lore is one of the best -- perhaps the very best -- channels on youtube. come for the excellent fromsoftware game analysis*, stay for the deep dives into some of THE weirdest corners of pop culture that you didn't even dream existed but will carry in your heart and mind forever now. I am currently working my way through their playlist about niche and frequently bizarre 80s/90s anime, and I was laughing so hard it almost made me fuck up the last two hits in my final triumphant fight with the dancer of the boreal valley.

basically this channel is the epitome of the sentiment of 'it makes no sense. compels me, though' as a celebration of strange and uncategorizable (and perhaps initially off-putting) art everywhere, and I think that generosity and genuine curiosity of gaze is needed in our media landscape now more than ever. whenever sophie goes 'it's just so fucking weird!!' in tones of glee and intense fascination an angel gets its wings. sin's undaunted dedication to the art she likes and disinteres in what she doesn't, regardless of how it's popularly received, inspirational. the youtube algorithm is not kind to them because it sucks ass, but!! if you want some quality Soulsborne lore that can break out the lens of queer theory when it's called for, videos about cryptids to fall asleep to, the only postmortem of Madam Web you'll ever need and didn't know you wanted (you do tho), 3 hour breakdowns of comparative cosmology of the fromsoft games that rock actually, honest engagement with and appreciation for dark souls 2 (my beLOVED), horror game let's plays and recaps, the oddest anime you ever saw discussed in great depth and with passion, the history of bloodborne -- I won't even say fandom, I think this qualifies as scholarship frankly, GORGEOUS pixel art backgrounds to rest your weary gaze upon, elden ring stuff? they gots elden ring stuff for ya, and to laugh like a dumbass every step of the way... look no futher. join the snack covenant 2day. some specific video recs based on what your interest might be under the cut!

*shoutout to them and TBSkyen (whose 'Boss Designs Of [Soulsbornering]' series is also absolutely excellent, second rec on the rec post! Here's the Bloodborne installment of the series, and my personal fave is predictably the Dark Souls 2 one) for being part of the few channels who actually explicitly use the tools of literary and art analysis to look at those games. I love a lot of the lore community but for god's sake will someone actually look into the actual overarching themes and ideas at work instead of trying to forensically break down the order in which events happened like it's a real world crime scene or site of archeology, not a deliberatly constructed story made with human hands or go source: it's a berserk reference and move on. and these champs go 'yeah we got you. let's talk about aldia's whole deal in depth' and I for one am so grateful

If you're into bloodborne, may I suggest: Laurence, the Worst Vicar. your one stop shop for understanding just how badly this guy sucked, as well as a lot of the Themes ticking away in the background of the game.

I have literally never thought about Warhammer 40K a day in my life before and I'm not about to start now, but this conversation about how oops as a franchise you were so mysogynistic back in the 80s it looped all the way around and now space marines may all be kind of trans actually?? is one of the best things I've watched in ages!

I know nothing about the anime they are discussing here but this whole vid had me rolling with laughter. they just don't make dubs like this anymore folks. the fuck counter triumphant

[tardigradetv]

(This post is gonna be edited in the future because I haven't finished it yet! I want to add some stuff, but I'm too tired to do it now. Sorry if things are cringe here. Please don't judge!)

Since I got tagged by @thedragonofbadasstemple , I'm gonna share 9 games I got into in 2024! I actually didn't watch many shows/movies last year because that year was a "worker's year", I'd say. I was busy most of the time and when I had free time, I'd rather go outside or do something, like creating or playing games (or studying 🙈) (yes, I think it can be fun studying for a few hours a day 😂). That means I barely had any days I'd just... do nothing. 😭 Yeah, on those few days when I actually just lay in bed, I watched documentaries (and I can't remember titles, so Idk how to share in this case 🤦‍♂️).

Some games are "childhood comebacks". (Games I've known since childhood but lost interest in them and got into them again years later)

I try to be as chronological as possible, but just keep in mind that my memory is such a mess. 😭 So I guess everything worth mentioning was said for now. Let's dive in!

Early beginning of the year:

1 - That's not my neighbor

Last year started with my "Fran Bow comeback". What I mean is that I watch analysis videos and think my part on the whole thing (that doesn't cover how the stuff I do look like, but whatever... I write stuff about it... It's called by that game's name because that game got me into analysis videos about anything regarding gaming or artists' works. So I started looking for other people's thoughts on things, too, instead of only interpreting things on my own) At the same time, I was looking for more games/franchises to think about (and writing analysis). Somehow, I stumbled upon That's Not My Neighbor through YouTube videos on my feed (so yeah... you could say the YouTube algorithm got me into the game lol). The concept/the idea behind the game inspired me to write and do my research on topics relating to the game. What I can say about the gameplay is that it's simple yet effective. It's the ultimate "find the difference" game with an interesting lore behind it. I haven't checked if there came any new updates out regarding gameplay or game modes lately, so it can be that I'm talking crap now. 🤡 Well, let's actually get what I want to tell... To keep it short, the game has a lot of potential, even with its few content gameplay-wise. I imagine that they could add a longer story mode where they provide a better insight into the lore.

Spring 2024:

2 - Needy Streamer Overload

Around the time when it was my old "friend's" birthday, I heard from this game for the first time. It seemed interesting to me, so I looked deeper into it. And no surprise, the game has caught my interest since then. The game's art style inspired me to try new things in my art, and the deeper meaning behind specific features/hints is thought-provoking, exactly what I like. Though I don't relate much to Ame, the protagonist, I really liked how much I could analyze and theorize in her story. So many connections make sense and indirectly told me to do some research about mental health topics I wasn't really educated on. Overall, the iconic character Ame taught me bits of wisdom I carry on my journey of life. Yeah, the game was an experience. My my, I couldn't process my early times of getting into this game back then. 🙈 It was a little bit too much for me at first, but after a few months, I could enjoy the game without any further issues.

3 - My Child: Lebensborn

Summer 2024:

OMG, as a German... 😭 Well, that game hit hard... But I love that there's a game that touches that dark, historical period from an insiders perspective. In times when we fear that history could repeat itself, this game helps reflect the harsh reality some people like to deny.

(Gonna write more about this later)

4 - D4DJ

When I installed the Hypmic ARB in February 2023, I got into rhythm games for the first time. Yes, I've never played any rhythm games before, so Hypmic ARB gets the title "my first rhythm game". Since then, I've started liking rhythm games as a genre. In summer 2024, I spent time with a "friend" (who isn't my friend anymore, sadly), a rhythm game enthusiast, especially when it comes to rhythm games for consoles. When I asked them which mobile rhythm games I could try, they gave me D4DJ as a recommendation. I played it for a few months, but one day... it just didn't work on my phone anymore. I couldn't get through the title, and I couldn't even save my account, which meant I had to say goodbye to the game... Yes, I could've started from the beginning again, but as I've experienced before, most games don't even work on my phone once such issues start to occur (I had this with Project Sekai). But in the end, I don't have anything on my phone anymore that could remind me of my old "friend", so I see it as a plus to some degree... 😭 Now, to my feedback! The game has an innovative system that made my gameplay experience really enjoyable. The different notes while playing a show made me think really quickly how to calculate where I should position my fingers. I also like how the game uses the screen you play on. It's important to have your whole screen in view to know how to hit some notes. (That makes the decorative feature of designing your stage so cool imo). The game also has Touhou songs that I enjoy, so I often played these (along with internet yamero). What I certainly like in the game is that... I could actually feel rewarded for just playing. To be more clear, you can get diamonds (or whatever they're called again, I forgot 😭) by just playing a song for a specific number of times. If my phone just worked... Yeah, but something that really bothered me is that... I easily got overstimulated from playing this game. The game is fun, but it won't once I get overstimulated...

5 - Snake Pass (childhood comeback)

This game is peak childhood! And the soundtrack 😭 I love it so much! I can't think of any other games where you play a snake with a humming bird as a helping companion to explore different areas of an in-game world. Also that you can change the facial expressions of Noodle (the snake) is such a nice detail! I spent hours on this game trying to get the 100%. Yes, the controls are a bit... uh, hard to get used to at first, but once you do, you have lots of fun solving puzzles. Since David Wise is the composer of the soundtrack, you could expect that there are gonna be bangers. (I mean, think of Donkey Kong...) I remember how I used to listen to the soundtrack for HOURS when I first discovered this game years ago! 😭🫶 It's also one of those games where I just enjoy playing without trying so hard to master it immediately. Sometimes, I take a look at all those details I can find... and I love every single one of them. For example, Noodle is a coral snake, an extremely dangerous snake. And as far as I know, coral snake venom contains neurotoxins that can lead to paralysis and death. So I think you can guess why the small crabs you can find in the game flee when they see Noodle... (kinda funny to think about when you compare that to the game's innocent appearance.)

Fall 2024:

6 - Team Fortress 2 (childhood comeback)

It's a classic. I think many people have at least heard of it through memes. I've been into this game since childhood (but other, new interests gained higher priority, so I kinda forgot about this franchise). Back then, I had a proper device to play it, ah... 😭 Well, before my recent computer died, I had the opportunity to play Team Fortress 2 again. What a wonderful experience it was! There's so much about this game that I've forgotten in the time I didn't touch it that it felt like a complete new experience. Oh, and reading all the chapters of the comic again... (including the recently published one) It brought tears into my eyes. Compared to other games of the same genre, TF2 isn't as competitive as some others. I used that as an opportunity to have fun and just enjoy the game! Especially the casual experience can be so chaotically fun, which gives the game its unique charm. I don't think there's any other game that has the same charm as TF2, so if you like ego shooters where you can be goofy and laugh your ass of in voice chats, this one is for you! Besides, the characters are *chef's kiss*, and the game can be counted as a cultural phenomenon. I mean, when voicelines become memes that reach countless people (probably outside the fandom), then this game is an internet milestone.

7 - Sally Face (childhood comeback)

With my old Fran Bow fixation, of course, I'm gonna find this game sooner or later. I can say that I don't regret finding out about this game at all! The art style, animation style, and lore captivated me. And not to forget, the soundtrack... I still listen to sometimes. I first discovered it a few years ago when I wanted to play something different. As you probably know from my introduction, I'm a Nintendo fan who plays mostly their games, but I touch other games from time to time, too. One of the first games I started getting into besides the Nintendo ones was Fran Bow, to be honest. And I mean by "getting into" that I CONSUMED the game's content like crazy.😭 (That's why this game has a connection to some others I've mentioned here). Well, back to Sally Face. Sal Fisher, the protagonist himself, is such an icon. I really grew fond of him from the early beginning. His personality and his background touched my heart, so it was no surprise that I'd feel devastated after finishing the story. What I really appreciate about this game is the atmosphere. Besides the lore (which I was deeply invested in when I first found out about the game), the atmosphere of the game makes you lean back and think about what is happening while you play. You slow down for a moment to investigate a certain spot to find more information. You might put your device beside to take a moment to process what just happened. Truly breathtaking. The further you get in the game, the more you feel like you're losing yourself in the scenario. It's an unforgettable experience with moments that can you almost make you cry. The strange art style highlights this uncomfortable atmosphere even more. After Sally Face has become a significant part of my childhood, I can say that this game touches many topics that are worth discussing. I could endlessly ramble on any character's specific traits, their background, and context to the story (if I actually could share my thoughts properly 🙈). Exploring the depth of this game back then was an important part of "getting used to thinking". And now, having found my way to this game again feels like I time traveled back to the time I was younger, a time when my life looked so different. To look back and say goodbye to those times, I'd imagine visiting my younger self and just telling that boy how grateful I am he kept going. Thanks to my determined younger self, I could grow into the person I am today. May Sally Face stay a wonderful memory...

Winter 2024:

8 - Yume Nikki

The strange game that made me reconsider all my thought patterns and my life in general. I have to admit, strange things always captivate me, so it's no surprise I got into it so quickly. The soundtrack captures the feeling of endless isolation so well... ah, I know that feeling. Listening to it gives me comfort. The reason why I feel like this is... sad. Well, how should I say it? I... grew up in social isolation, you could say... My childhood wasn't the worst... but it is the foundation of a person's personality, so... Oh- that's not the topic I should talk about right now...

9 - Everything (the game)

Somehow, I've never heard of this game before someone mentioned it not so long ago. It's exactly my taste! I'm sad I didn't discover it sooner! Games with great wisdom behind it always have a sweet spot in my heart. It's really interesting how the game is made. Such a simple style with an intense/immersing atmosphere. The soundtrack really makes me forget everything around me (though the animations in this game make me laugh as hell. The first time I saw how the animals "walk" here got me almost falling from my chair.) I personally think that this game challenges your experimental abilities/creativity. The more you use those abilities, the more fun you're going to have playing this game. Everything seems so aimless (pun intended), but this makes the player think about what the game tries to tell you.

(Gonna continue later)

[aroceu]

some thoughts on leaving a social media website...again

as of 10/16/2024, twitter has announced its intention to implement a new feature into the platform: instead of blocking allowing you to block certain accounts from viewing your profile if it's public, it now just... doesn't do that anymore. it only limits interaction. though this certainly isn't a surprise with musk's twitter rollouts since 2021—when i first saw people start to trickle out—this, in particular, breaks a lot of users boundaries and has prompted many to private their accounts and move to bluesky.

i'm in support of this, btw—the ceo of bsky is strongly opposed to ever running any sort of ads on the site ("won't enshittify the network with ads"), doesn't use any blockchain technology, and has a culture where supplying alt text on images is the norm. your main timeline is in reverse-chronological order (like intended), but there are other separate options to create a custom algorithmic feed for certain types of content, only if you wish to. though bsky is a work in progress, i have high hopes for what it can be in the future: that is, usable, practical, and more reminiscent of what it was like when twitter first started, than how twitter currently is.

but despite my love for bluesky, i won't spend too much time glazing yet another microblogging platform. instead, i'm here to ponder the concept of social media: why we have it, why we use it, and why these moves happen in the first place. people have been trickling in and out of twitter ever since the richest and evilest man in the world took possession of it; especially in a fandom sense, there's been a back and forth between twitter and tumblr due to tumblr's former porn ban, as well. we all have principles and morals that guide the decisions we make, including what websites we decide to use. they speak to a pattern of not only our culture as people at any given time—but how these platforms have the power to implement these changes whenever they want. and we, as individuals, must make decisions both based on those principles, but also our desires to fit in.

i'll start off by saying this—eventually i'm going to start talking about what social media means for creatives. but there is in fact an extremely well-written article about this already that goes into more detail. if you're more interested in that, let me direct you there first: R U AN ARTIST ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? by omoulo

with that out of the way, let's talk about me, shall we?

i got onto the internet through geocities—crazy sentence to say now after all these years. of course, i played neopets and flash games like many other kids, but that was mostly through knowing those websites and urls existed, and preserving them in my mind so i could return to them for some mindless minutes of entertainment later. geocities was my first introduction to the creative, user-designed web, so to speak. instead of being a number to interact with a thing that someone else has made—a flash game, a youtube video, a website where you can collect fictional pets—the idea of geocities to me at the time was this idea of participating on the internet. being a part of it. writing whatever i wanted and posting it. sharing the link with others. having others find it and read it too—a part of me, my method of creative self-expression, whatever i desired to write and post on the less than permanent internet.

my best friend at the time was the one who needled me into creating accounts—first an email address, then an AIM, then a myspace, then an IMVU, so on and so forth. i wasn't going out looking for these, and though i'd heard of them before or seen ads of some of these sites, i wasn't interested in actually being on these platforms and making these accounts until my friend told me that i should. call me a people pleaser or easily influenced or whatever; i was 12. but it was through this link sharing, this naivety and ignorance of the vastness of the internet, that allowed me to be fascinated with the world wide web in the first place.

i usually cite quizilla as my first "fandom" website, because it was—but it wasn't because i found it by accident. it wasn't that i googled it or looked for a personality test and stumbled upon it. no, it's because i was chatting with a friend on AIM, and she had found some crazy chain letter story and shared it to me for how absurd it was, and sent me the link. it was on quizilla.

literally the moment i clicked that link changed my life forever. even though i read the crazy story, i also clicked on the username of the person who posted it, out of curiosity. that person had jonas brothers fanfics on their quizilla profile, of all things, which led me into an obsession with the jonas brothers in the 2 years that followed. through that link—that account—that platform—i got a lot more interested in writing, webdesign, and what it meant to be on the internet, not just as a numbered participant, but also as someone with an imagination, who finds fulfillment in creative expression. i wrote the longest thing i'd ever written in that time (30k of a self-insert, but we won't go into that), began to experiment with css and website design, and participated, sharing stuff that i thought was interesting or fun, worth 5 minutes of anyone's time.

the internet wasn't just about being a place where my presence didn't matter anymore—it became a medium of self-expression. more than that, it became a place where i could meet and socialize with people, especially as i developed avpd in my high school years.

the internet wasn't always like this. right now, when we talk about the internet, we don't talk about the random websites we find, the links we stumble upon. (i have an entire website dedicated to those for me, though.) the games we spend hours playing, by ourselves, without interacting with others. random personality tests, or just simply the news. we talk about google, but in the same way we talk about facebook, or even twitter. it's a verb; it's omnipresent; it exists within the context of our internet culture, but becomes meaningless outside of it. it's not to say it doesn't have meaning—but that the language we use represents our relationship with it, this assumed normalcy. this assumed dependence.

i bring up my own history because as young as i feel compared to many of my older internet friends, and how late to the game i always felt—i was there. i was there on the internet before twitter (since 2009), tumblr (since 2010), facebook (i lied about my age), bluesky now, and whatever will come in the future. i was there when people were saying that the internet was still being written; when websites were made with tables (eugh); when email was the primary way to connect with others, because irc was for nerds and nothing else had been invented yet.

i'm a big advocate for not looking at the past with rose colored glasses and getting caught up in nostalgia and greener grass. i believe that technology is not inherently harmful or bad—it creates more options for accessibility, especially for those who are disabled. and even outside of that, it allows us to learn about more people, communicate with others with a few keystrokes, and form relationships that we otherwise would never get to have. i don't want this to seem like i'm saying "man remember how good the internet used to be?" because i'm not—i believe that as things change, there are benefits as much as there are hindrances.

of course, it bears saying that the primary hindrance—of current twitter, of many platforms over the years, and the internet with increasing recency—is corporations. big money interests. capitalism.

it's why we get so tired of ads—it's why ads exist in the first place. it's why these social media platforms that used to feel like they were made by the same people who would use them (livejournal, youtube, twitter) have suddenly become these soulless impersonal websites. it becomes more obvious that they want you to use them more because they sell you on exclusivity and visual minimalism, rather than because that's where your friends are, and you have this unique way to express yourself.

in fact, i'll say this: the first time i learned about facebook when i was too young to use it, i was not impressed. i had a myspace at the time that i had dolled up to make pretty with sparkly gifs and obnoxious colors and weird fonts. when i saw how boring and samey everyone's facebook profile page was, i was like, what's the point? sure i could talk to my classmates and random other people in my life that i didn't really care about, but what about making myself different from others? what about my creative expression? what about having an account that makes me look unique, instead of blending in with everyone else?

and so here i am nearly two decades later pondering about the use of social media, our individuality as well as our collective interests, and how the internet has changed so much, both in itself and how it affects us, in that time.

i'm here because i want to talk to my friends and meet new people with common interests and get excited about them. i don't want to feel left out, but that's a normal experience—outside of fomo, it is in our core to connect with others. it's the whole meaning of everything. it's why i even made an email in the first place, in my basement with my best friend, secretly setting up a yahoo account because she wanted another way to talk to me, and i wanted another way to talk to her. it's why people have been leaving twitter little by little for another site—the same site as many others, because that's where all their friends are. whether it's bsky or mastodon or misskey or just back here on tumblr, we're here not just because of our desire for community, but even as simple as our desire for a bond, a relationship with another human being. to me, that is how "social media" is defined—a medium through which we socialize because of this innate desire.

and yet, of course the enshittification and corporatification makes this more difficult for us, in ways more than one. because the fact is that as we (as people) became better at using the internet, finished writing it, and understood it—psychologically and sociologically—so did the corporations. or advertisers, you take your pick. we, the everypeople who use the internet as means to fulfill our social and other self-indulgent desires, are not the only people here. as with many things else in the world, the internet turned from an unpredictable but fun mess of us figuring shit out as we went along, into a product designed to keep us using it and engaging with it more, so some rich people can put even more money into their pockets. it's why twitter is the way it is now; even why tumblr is the way it is. why social media has become about "content creation" and "small businesses." why it feels like, every day, we see more ads and AI generated bullshit, as a little bit of the original soul of the internet gets sucked away day by day.

but even there, i don't want to come across as cynical or world-weary. though i believe this to be true, i don't think it says anything about our lack of agency, or our lack of innate humanity. instead, i believe that this means, at least on the individual level, that we should think more about not only what we're doing on the internet, but why we're doing it. how we're doing it. are we here because we're addicted? or is there something we're getting out of it? sure, many websites now have more addictive UI and algorithms that tell the receptors of our brain to return to them because we were getting so much dopamine from them earlier. but i also wouldn't necessarily argue that the only solution to this is to, then, go offline.

i have many friends who've elected to depart social media but stay online—friends who i met through website building, to be fair, but that's one of my main points. i already wrote a manifesto on my love letter to the personal website; but the tl;dr is this:

the internet is not evil, it is not good, it is just a form. if we desire to express ourselves and socialize with others in this space, it does not have to be just about social media, and creating a new account on a new website every time people move. instead, we have personhood—we have individuality, we have agency. we have the ability to build our own websites, no matter how shitty or times new roman comic sansy or color clashy or sometimes inaccessible they can be. regardless of all these seeming impractical setbacks though, it does not absolve us of that ability to do whatever we want on the internet. and it also bears saying that websites, both the personal and impersonal, can change over time, for better or worse.

i am a huge proponent for people making their own personal websites. it makes me so so happy that neocities is gaining popularity, mostly because i love seeing people try their own hand at making a website for themselves, a new form of self-expression. i won't go into too much detail on this because i've already said everything i want to say about it (see above), but if you take away anything from this post, let it be this: consider making a personal website, a corner of the internet, for yourself, by yourself. not just because you want people to engage with it, or because you want to curate to an algorithm or an artistic/fannish trend. not because you want the things you make to gain traction, to get bigger numbers without considering the people behind those numbers, as soon as possible.

do it because you want to. because you have to. because you think it's cool, and because it's you. people may find it and judge it; but they may like it as well. the more unique and authentic and weird we are with each other, the more we are able to appreciate each other for who we really are. the internet is one of many places we can do this.

i don't really see these forms of self-expression separate from social media, but i do see social media separate from it. to me, social media is a vehicle to strengthen those connections, those relationships, much like DMs and IRCs; but it is not the be-all, end all of the internet. it's only a small part of it. not everything is permanent on the internet; but everything that ever has been online is a microcosm of the human experience, whether it's an old cloudflare site or twitter dot com in 2010.

our experiences on the internet are not about corporate interests. it's about using limewire to download pirate music, sharing random links we find, building a design that may not be practical or universally appealing but still represents a form of individuality. when i think of how the internet has grown, i don't think about what it means for companies or advertisers or what meetings must go on to get people like me to keep using it—i think about remembering the difference between addicting games dot com and addicted games dot com, clicking links on websites to find even more websites, sitting at the family computer and deciding if i wanted to spend hours on neopets or that one willy wonka flash game i grinded like several hours on one night when i was 7. i think about what it's always meant to me, because the internet was not always a centralized place where i was going on the same website every day. the rise of internet centralization to the point that it's become expected, the norm, the primary way any of us to be online, is not inherently a bad thing—but i wouldn't say it's a universal good, either, when the internet is a wide and vast space, and can be so much more than that.

because the one thing that remains throughout the years is our agency and choice. we still have the ability to make the internet what we want it to be, or at least a corner of it, something separate from the corporations, the enshittification, economically researched user interfaces and experiences, the advertisements, the "like and share so the algorithm boosts me more." there's still a point to it all without the money, and without twitter. and it's both our desire for creativity and self-expression, as well as our intrinsic bonds with each other. despite it all, it's about our humanity.

as the internet continues to grow, so do we. nevertheless, the importance of our humanity, and retaining it, will remain. oftentimes it is up to us to remind ourselves of that.

-

links here, for access:

Bluesky CEO Jay Graber Says She Won’t ‘Enshittify the Network With Ads’

R U AN ARTIST ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? by omoulo

links @ kingdra.net (my links, like bookmarks)

A manifesto of sorts; or, my love letter to the personal website by me

[moneeb0930]

🎶 SOUND IS POWER: WHY THEY FEARED EARTH, WIND & FIRE 🎶

THE MUSIC INDUSTRY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING

You want to know how powerful sound is?

Earth, Wind & Fire wasn’t just a band.

They were a #frequency. A coded vibration. A divine assignment.

And because of that — they were #watched.

👁️‍🗨️ WHO WAS WATCHING THEM?

Declassified CIA files and Pentagon-backed programs like Project #MKULTRA and later #PSYOPS initiatives have confirmed that:

➤ U.S. intelligence agencies #studied music as a form of mind control.

➤ Artists who created “#spirituallyactivating” music were monitored.

➤ Frequencies outside the standard 440 Hz were considered “#dangerous.”

Yes — “dangerous.”

Because they #stirred people awake.

So when Earth, Wind & Fire dropped tracks tuned to the Earth’s harmonics, with lyrics about ancestors, stars, elements, vibration, love, and light?

That wasn’t just music. That was a threat to the system.

💿 WHY WAS THEIR SOUND SO DISRUPTIVE?

Their music was often based on 432 Hz and harmonics aligned with the Solfeggio scale, like:

➤ 528 Hz – DNA repair, divine connection

➤ 417 Hz – Trauma clearing, transition

➤ 396 Hz – Guilt & fear release

And they embedded this inside FUNK. SOUL. JOY.

Meaning: You danced your way into healing and didn’t even know it.

Which is why certain military-industrial entertainment entities tried to clamp down.

They saw sound as a tool for control — and Earth, Wind & Fire as rebels with a cosmic cause.

🎧 CURATED PLAYLIST FOR VIBRATIONAL AWAKENING

TURN DOWN THE PROGRAMMING — TURN UP THE FREQUENCY

These songs are intentionally chosen for their vibrational clarity, soulful healing, and conscious frequency signatures.

🌟 EARTH, WIND & FIRE VIBRATIONS

➤ “Shining Star” – Affirmation in motion

➤ “Devotion” – Prayer in melody

➤ “Fantasy” – Astral activation

➤ “Be Ever Wonderful” – Love as revolution

➤ “That’s the Way of the World” – Truth in harmony

➤ “Keep Your Head to the Sky” – Elevation through sound

🌻 CLASSIC 70s FREQUENCY LIFTERS

➤ Minnie Riperton – “Les Fleurs”

➤ Curtis Mayfield – “Move On Up”

➤ The Isley Brothers – “Harvest for the World”

➤ Roberta Flack – “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face”

➤ Marvin Gaye – “What’s Going On”

🔮 MODERN SPIRITUAL SOUND KEEPERS

➤ India.Arie – “I Am Light”

➤ Jhené Aiko – “Spotless Mind”

➤ Aja Monet – “Give My Regards to Brooklyn”

➤ Janae Aiko – “Souled Out”

➤ Ayla Schafer – “Grandmother”

➤ Beautiful Chorus – “I Am (Affirmation)”

📿 FREQUENCY FIRST: SOLFEGGIO & TUNED PLAYLISTS

➤ “528 Hz Miracle Tones” – Whole album series

➤ “432 Hz R&B Playlist” – On YouTube & Spotify

➤ “Solfeggio Sleep Tones” – Detox while you rest

➤ “Sound Healing by Source Vibrations” – Apple Music & YouTube

➤ “432 Hz Soulful Vibes” – Check SoundCloud & Bandcamp

🛑 WHAT TO LIMIT OR TURN OFF

➤ Mainstream FM radio (440 Hz standard)

➤ Commercials + algorithmic TikTok loops

➤ Movie trailers & game scores pushing chaotic BPMs

➤ Background music in shopping centers & streaming apps

📣 AWAKENED TRUTHS REMINDER

Sound isn’t entertainment. It’s entrainment.

What you play, plays with your nervous system.

What you hum becomes your field.

What you feed your ears shapes your awareness.

🎙️ Tune wisely. Dance deeply. Stay sonically free.

[lemonflavoredcigs]

starting to journal, analog truthers, and dvds (6/19/25)

Hello everyone/myself,

I want to start writing more on tumblr so I can retain a journal somewhere (my memory is so bad), so this is it.

Something I've been gathering a lot of interest about is finding ways to make my life more "analog". What I mean by this is being detached to algorithmically based things like social media, and I'd even include like finding ways to deliberately control my attention span. I will say that compared to most people my age, I feel like it hasn't as much of a problem for me. I stopped going on TikTok months ago, and at this point the only real "social media" I use is YouTube shorts (it's entertaining in a bizarre way) and arguably, regular YouTube. It should be self-evident I hope but I also hate generative AI so much - it's killing our ability to critically think and it is such a fruitless, environmentally destructive endeavor. Technology can be a force for good obviously, but not like this.

I've been watching many such (what I like to call) analog truthers on YouTube, and I was particularly inspired by this one creator named Sonya who had this whole journey where she switched her smartphone to a flip phone and makes a compelling argument for why we should do this too. She talks about leaving the algorithm and about Palintir, that fuck-ass Israeli surveillance corporation who is contracting with our government to surveil the US (which is where I live). We've already been seeing this happen, but algorithms and surveillance easily lead to propaganda. Now I don't think state propaganda would work on me to begin with, but it's more about the principle. Plus, data collection in this way is only effective when done to a lot of people.

Related to all this analog nonsense, I want to get into burning DVDs. I've recently watched the show Severance (2022-, by Ben Stiller btw) and it's only on Apple TV. I only really have access to Apple TV because I subscribed to the Apple Music student deal, and I don't use Apple Music anymore. Regardless, I don't want to have to pay for a subscription to watch it. I don't watch many things to begin with and I don't use Apple TV for anything else. I want to own the media I have. I had planned to get a giant flash drive (aka a "Passport") for a while but it can be finnicky in terms of obtaining and distributing media like that, and I think DVDs would be cooler. I specifically want to get Bluray so I can have 4k display resolution quality. DVDs would also be easier to distribute. The thing is, not everyone has a DVD player these days. Fortunately PCs, gaming consoles (Xbox and Playstation), and some laptops have DVD drives, and they play Bluray.

Anyways, back to Severance. Like wowowow one of the greatest shows I have ever witnessed. Absolute cinema. I'm not done with it but I was thinking to write a review separately. The point is, I want other people to watch the show too so I can talk about it with them but I don't want anyone to pay for Apple TV and be tied to a subscription like that. So why not just pirate it and hand them out. If I ever lost my copy I would be able to find another one. It would also be a lot of fun to send it in the mail. I wouldn't mind buying an official Severance copy on my own as the original DVD in which I would burn it onto other DVDs. A Bluray drive is like 90 dollars though, I don't want to spend money right now, but it's definitely a goal. I have been wanting to sew, so maybe I can do that instead right now because it's cheaper.

[blacktiger666]

A difficult decision (About Twitter / X) / Une décision difficile (À propos de Twitter / X)

To illustrate the post, I'm including one of my recently drawn drawings. The NecroBeast really symbolizes the toxicity that invades Nora as it invades me.

[Eng]

Given my current state of mind, I'd rather make this announcement here, on Tumblr, than on Twitter/X (because I don't really want to stir up even more stress than I already have).

And the problem actually concerns this social network (Twitter/X). Since its acquisition by EM, quite a few changes have been made, particularly to the algorithm.

I've noticed that people tend to block others, not personally, but to balance their recommendations because, yes, the Twitter/X algorithm constantly puts the same people back on the feed despite the mention and insistence of the "Not interested" button, which pushes others to block for technical reasons. Personally, I thought I was blocked because I had done something wrong, but in hindsight, I think I'm one of the users who constantly return to other people's feeds without meaning to. A few months ago, one of the users blocked me without any explanation. I had to contact him via another social network (Bluesky) to ask why, and he told me it wasn't personal at all, but that the algorithm was unbalanced, which explained the blocking, and he unblocked me. From my experience, there's reason to be paranoid, questioning what you did wrong or not (when, in fact, not at all, but yes, I do question my actions on the social network ((Even though I suspect somewhere that people think I like AI art when I don't! I'm just curious and saddened but not really interested))). 😆😅

In addition to the unbalanced algorithm, there's also the problem of bots interacting with our posts, which results in us being labeled as bots in return, even though we're not.

Anyway ! All this to say that because of this even more anxiety-provoking and toxic atmosphere of Twitter / X with this change in the algorithm, I thought about being more and more active on Bluesky (and on the other networks, don't worry!) because it's better balanced and more chill. I would have hoped that Ankama could go there too but since there is no announcement on it (otherwise I would have known since they announced a YouTube channel with "Ankama Animations" not long ago), I will continue to react to their posts while being less active, if possible, on the publication of my drawings because it is difficult for me to disconnect with more than 9 years of activity on this social network.

Afterwards, yes, some people manage to leave because they're fed up with the "new" Twitter, and I can understand this frustration since I feel it too while writing this post, which is almost a cry for help.

It's rare that I write a post like this… 😶‍🌫️

Anyway ! 😮‍💨

Thank you so much for reading. 😊 I sincerely hope you understand my decision because with everything that's been happening for about 2-3 years, it's no longer possible to stay positive and healthy.

If you're on Twitter/X, don't let this paranoia and toxicity take over. 🙏 Take a moment to breathe, like I'm doing now (in addition to being more and more active on Bluesky, I'm taking the time to play video games, which I haven't had time to play fully for the past few months precisely because of my overactivity with drawing and writing. We're actually invisible).

P.S. for commission art scammers (english only) : Don't comment or like this post, I see it ! If you do this, it will be an immediate block with reporting

---

[Fr]

Au vu de mon état d'esprit actuellement, je préfère faire cette annonce ici, sur Tumblr, que sur Twitter / X (car je n'ai pas vraiment envie d'attiser encore plus de stress que j'en ai déjà).

Et justement, le problème concerne ce réseau social (Twitter / X). Depuis son rachat par EM, pas mal de changements avaient été effectués et notamment sur l'algorithme.

J'ai constaté que les gens ont tendance à bloquer d'autres, non pas personnellement mais pour équilibrer leurs recommandations car, oui, l'algorithme de Twitter / X remet constamment les mêmes personnes malgré la mention et l'insistance du bouton "Pas intéressé", ce qui pousse à d'autres de bloquer par souci technique. Pour ma part, je pensais qu'on me bloquait parce que j'avais fait quelque chose de mal mais avec du recul, je pense faire partie du lot d'utilisateurs qui reviennent constamment sur le fil des autres sans le vouloir. Il y a quelques mois, un des utilisateurs m'avait bloqué sans que j'ai eu une explication, j'ai dû le contacter via un autre réseau social (Bluesky) pour lui demander pourquoi et il m'a dit que ce n'était pas du tout personnel mais que due à l'algorithme mal équilibré, ça explique le blocage et il m'a débloqué. Par cette expérience que j'avais eue, il y a de quoi être parano en se remettant en question sur ce qu'on a fait de mal ou pas (alors que pas du tout mais oui, je me pose des questions sur mes actions sur le réseau social... ((Même si je soupçonne quelque part qu'on pense que j'aime l'art IA alors que non ! Je suis juste curieux et attristé mais pas vraiment intéressé))). 😆😅

En plus de l'algorithme mal équilibré, il y a aussi le problème des bots qui intéragissent avec nos posts, ce qui résulte du fait qu'on est aussi étiquetté comme bots en retour alors qu'on ne l'est pas.

Bref ! Tout ça pour dire qu'à cause de cette ambiance encore plus anxiogène et toxique de Twitter / X avec ce changement dans l'algorithme, j'ai pensé à être de plus en plus actif sur Bluesky (et sur les autres réseaux, ne vous inquiétez pas !) car c'est mieux équilibré et plus chill. J'aurais espéré que Ankama puisse aller là-bas aussi mais comme il n'y a pas d'annonce là-dessus (sinon je le saurais vu qu'ils avaient annoncé une chaine YouTube avec "Ankama Animations" il n'y a pas longtemps), je continuerai à réagir sur leurs posts tout en étant moins actif, si possible, sur la publication de mes dessins car il est difficile pour moi de décrocher avec plus 9 ans d'activité sur ce réseau social.

Après, oui, des gens réussissent à partir car ils en ont marre du "nouveau" Twitter et je peux comprendre ce ras-le-bol puisque je le ressens aussi en écrivant ce post qui est presque un appel à l'aide.

C'est rare que j'écris un tel post au passage… 😶‍🌫️

Enfin bref ! 😮‍💨

Merci beaucoup de m'avoir lu. 😊 J'espère sincèrement que vous m'avez compris sur ma décision car avec tout ce qu'il se passe depuis environ 2-3 ans, il n'est plus possible de rester positif et en bonne santé.

Si vous êtes sur Twitter / X, ne laissez pas cette paranoïa et cette toxicité vous envahir. 🙏 Prenez un moment pour souffler comme moi je fais actuellement (en plus d'être de plus en plus actif sur Bluesky, je prends le temps de jouer aux jeux vidéo où je n'avais plus le temps de jouer pleinement depuis quelques mois justement à cause de ma sur-activité du dessin et de l'écriture, on est invisible en fait)

[wesleysniperking]

I have an Usopp problem 😵‍💫

***Break over

I’m seriously not sure if it’s because of the algorithm, or Oda’s 3 week break and fans are bored and suffering because of it, but it seems like Usopp has become more of (???) a person of interest in the fandom, very recently—for the wrong reasons. Maybe it’s because of my hyper-fixation on Usopp’s journey…I admit. Can’t even cross it out.

…So, maybe it is JUST me.

Maybe that’s why it seems like he’s a person of interest even more nowadays.

I am avoiding Reddit and Worstgen, but YouTube is testing my resolve. I use YouTube for other things besides One Piece analysis vids and whatnot.

Tamir’s Verse do post pro-Usopp videos, but even those bring forward slander in the comments that’s hard to look past, personally. There’s a video about how and WHY Usopp is the most disliked Strawhat! 🤯 I can’t watch Tamir’s Verse videos and shorts at all anymore.

And then there was a poll of “Who’s the Most Disliked Strawhat?” on my YouTube feed. Usopp had the second to the most votes. If “Other” hadn’t been an option/choice, he would have won. If the algorithm is gonna play mind games, can they give me the positive Usopp videos? Please?

This isn’t meant to be a rant at all.

But having to read that Usopp is “The Butt” of the Strawhats is kinda sh**ty. (This was in response to when I posted a comment in one of the vids. I said that Usopp was a nuanced and brave character).

But have no fear, I will forever argue against the harsh criticism. The harsh criticism and arguing won’t matter in a year. I know this. There’s the real world outside. I have to talk to someone about this…I know 😔.

The YouTube algorithm is playing mind games.

I won’t look at the comments I won’t look at the comments I won’t look at the commets I won’t look at the comm–

I won’t post a comment I won’t post a comment I won’t post a comment I won’t post a comment I won’t post a comm-

No more arguing no more arguing no more arguing no more arguing no more arguing no more arguing no more arg–

Let Oda cook let Oda cook let Oda cook let Oda cook let Oda cook let Oda cook let Oda cook let Oda cook let Oda coo–

Conclusively, I’m gonna go do some soul searching. I have an exam this week, and I’m experiencing writer’s block (currently writing a one-shot, writing Act 2 of an ongoing Usopp-centric fic)…and..

So, I’ll go and touch grass.

And I’m gonna give myself the hard challenge of not talking about Usopp for 1 week. You know what? Let’s give myself a bigger challenge. I won’t talk about Usopp for 2 weeks. But if that means not talking about Usopp, I’ll need to stop watching One Piece for 2 weeks, and writing fanfiction (even just updating the drafts) for 2 weeks... I’ll need to stay off YouTube, Reddit, and TUMBLR for 2 weeks... I’ll need to stay off Ao3 for 2 weeks…

I’ll have to clear my cache and delete all my tabs. I’ll have to avoid my email (I’ll unsubscribe from the YouTube messages I receive). I’ll reply to the last of my notifications…then…

2 weeks. 2 weeks. I’ll give it 2 weeks…

I can do this. Right? Right? I’m writing this to instill some discipline in me. I want to find a way to approach things differently, and not argue endlessly about nonsensical comments…I want to feel what it’s like to not participate.

Then I’ll come back to the fandom and be a little bit more positive and well rested. And I’ll contribute to all the nice things.

Note to self. I got this…if anyone is reading this. Thank you for your time ❤️

My break starts now!

Stay true!

– wesleysniperking

[hollownoire]

I really wanna create things with people, man. I would have so much fun doing like...deadass projects with people, collaboration. I record gameplay of me with my friend group and while that's like a surface level amount of what I want it mostly just boils down to me randomly hitting record and then figuring out what to do with all of the footage afterwards... I was on stream with those same friends playing 100% Orange Juice doing like a drinking game and it was one of the funnest fucking things I've done in a while. I just have a vtuber sitting in the depths of my computer collecting dust, and a ton of motivation to hang out with, meet, and make stuff with people...but nowhere to put it all except the echo chamber of my mind. Want to stream, record, write with and do things with people. I mean a good chunk of why I wanna succeed so bad is so I can promote my friends in their endeavors, and help them..."make it"? I really wanna see people happy, and I wanna see their stuff get recognized and noticed. I want people to feel like someone out there values their effort, their creativity, and their work, because I do! I always like the videos of small channels when I can, commenting too, make the Youtube algorithm realize that person is as important as they should be. I mean, fuck, if a small channel uploads a video I'll make sure to watch all of it to the end because it helps with the numbers. I've seen a lot of communities full of content creators over the years and I'm realizing that shared creativity and joy is something I've wanted so desperately without even realizing it.

[kuueater]

Your recent video essays have really inspired me to finally start working on this video essay I’ve literally visualized and had the script in mind for YEARS. only thing is, I’ve never done something like this before. Do you have any tips on stuff to keep in mind?

i'm still sorta figuring out my own system atm as i've only finished 2 video essays, but some of my biggest pieces of advice would be:

always remember the video aspect of a video essay. i feel like not enough people really take advantage of the medium they're working in and tend to just slap random footage over them reading a script and it makes me want to check my phone instead of watching. i often plan out edits in my scripts and sometimes even what music is playing during which section, etc.

stay organized. for ex, it's kind of a pain in the ass if you have a lot of footage, but for a video that's about a game, i'l always go through my recorded footage and cut it up into highlighted sections so i know exactly where to find what i need when i'm doing the actual principal editing.

put yourself into your work. don't be afraid to make statements on how you feel about shit, not everything you write needs to be Objective and All-Encompassing.

assuming you care about the video getting some attention: do your best to have the very beginning of the video immediately grab people. youtube's algorithm really really likes it when people watch past about the 30 second mark and will probably share your video around more if that keeps happening.

[vidreview]

VIDEO ESSAY ROUNDUP #1

[originally posted october 11th 2023]

so, i watch a lot of video essays.

i started this blog with the intention of reviewing video essays at length, in the hopes of highlighting best & worst practices, discussing the history of the form, and using them as a jumping off point for personal/political introspection. but as time has gone on, i've found myself encountering more and more videos that i didn't have a whole lot to say about, but that felt worthy of a spotlight anyway.

WITH THAT IN MIND, welcome to video essay roundup, an occasional list of stuff i've watched recently that i think is worth your time. enough preamble, let's get started.

"Self-Discovery Stories | Video Essay" by Glouder Glens.

are you watching Sylvia Schweikert? i know you're not because its numbers are disastrously low. her video about it/its pronouns is a genuine work of art, a video essay about the dehumanization of trans people that seamlessly transforms into lesbian werewolf erotica. this newest video is just as beautiful and strange, not least because it's rendered in portrait mode like a tiktok. it's an honest, far-ranging and personal essay whose sub-300 views is genuinely criminal. seriously, seriously, Sylvia's an essayist you NEED to be paying attention to. it's making the kind of stuff that simply does not play well with the youtube algorithm, and that's the stuff that i live for. watch her videos and share them with your friends. give it money on patreon for gods sake! also definitely go watch her short film "Self Centered," it's a haunting and masterful work of art.

"More unremarkable and odd places in Mario 64" by Any Austin.

i stumbled across Any Austin a couple months ago and he's quickly become one of my favorite "it's time to relax" creators. his "unremarkable and odd places" series scratches an itch i never knew i had, as someone who loves exploring the least interesting corners of any digital world i find myself in. his other series involves calculating the unemployment rate of video game locations by talking to every NPC and deducing their employment status. the editing is calm, his tone is measured and matter of fact, and his sense of humor ties it all together. this is the kind of thing that used to be the bread and butter of video teams at outlets like Cracked or Polygon, before they were summarily laid off or pushed out. it's good to see someone else picking up that mantle in a way that seems relatively sustainable and isn't under the umbrella of a layoff-happy corporate enterprise (except for google of course, but we're all in that boat together aren't we?)

does this count as a video essay? i think that's a reasonable question. i'm inclined to say yes, with the understanding that there are many different types and genres of video essay. but that's a conversation for another day.

"On the Ethics of Boinking Animal People" by Patricia Taxxon.

i should do a full vidrev on this one honestly, but i can't do a post like this and not include it. if you play around in any sort of furry-adjacent fetish space, have opinions about the sexual proclivities of furries, or are otherwise prone to pearl-clutching as an outsider, this is an essential watch. Patricia here does a great job drawing attention to how even well-meaning defenders of, say, feral furry porn, often give up unnecessary ground to opponents with fallacious devices like the Harkness test. i've talked to a lot of fellow kinky furries who came out of this essay exalting in the joy that finally, someone said it! many of the arguments made here, especially in underlining that all furry porn is immaterial and imaginary, are thoughts i've had since i first made a furaffinity account in 2007 or 08 (though i swore up and down i wasn't a furry until 2019) but was always too afraid to express.

this is scary, sensitive territory, but that's what makes this such an essential intervention. this is the perspective of an autistic transfem furry who just wants to have an honest conversation without all the moral fearmongering and shortsighted kneejerk cliches that come up when a topic skirts dangerously close to taboos that we just, generally, refuse to talk about like adults. these are conversations that, in my experience, only ever happened among friendgroups with a long-established repartee and understanding of each other's boundaries, if at all. otherwise, even progressive supposedly kink-positive spaces can encourage a sort of cop-brained punitive attitude towards imaginary sex acts that very easily bleeds over into puritanical takes on, say, kink at pride. frankly, i'm sick of the language & rhetoric of Respectability, because saying "no, most of us aren't like the freaks" only ever results in a liberal block decrying the deplorables and subjecting them to further marginalization and abuse. it takes a lot of guts to make a video like this and i'm so, so glad that Patricia Taxxon stuck the landing.

"Who Is Killing Cinema? - A Murder Mystery" by Patrick (H) Willems.

i've already written two separate vidrevs on Willems, but what can i say? this most recent stretch of work focusing on the business and philosophy of cinema in the streaming era is good stuff. nothing in this particular essay is new per se if you've been paying attention to the business of hollywood for the last ten years, but it does a great job assembling the broad strokes of a lot of different-but-common arguments into one far ranging thesis. much like the prior two videos, i think this works as a solid introductory primer to a more materialist understanding of these trends for folks who aren't necessarily familiar with materialist theory. bonus points for wasting no time getting to the point, unlike his otherwise excellent video on the word "content."

alright, i think that'll do it for this video essay roundup! enjoy :)

ROUNDUP #2 ->

[NOTE: as i'm migrating the archive, links between roundups will direct back to cohost. i probably won't get around to changing that until i write a new one.]