#my gf and i just watched the movie adaptation of the musical and we have Opinions on it. some good and some bad

[theygender]

Yeah sure growing up abused may have left me with permanent scars on my psychological state that I'm still working to unpack, but on the bright side it gave me the ability to give a thoughtful in depth analysis of Roald Dahl's Matilda and all of its adaptations

[obligitory-fma-blog]

I watched the final Netflix adaptation of FMAB. Here’s some of my notes

- “Y’know, I don’t think he has any need for his dad.” Hoenhiem. Uhm you left him he kinda did for a while so idk why you’re being bitter now

- YOOOOO SIG AND IZUMIIIIII

- RAHHHH I LOVE THEM

- Okay the fighting is better this time, less choppy

- Izumi’s actress is ON POINT I LOVE HER

- “I was never much of a proper parent to either of those boys” Ya don’t say. (I’m not a Hoenhiem hater, but I am a Hoenhiem critic.)

- “Maybe you should’ve told them goodbye and talked to them before leaving. Maybe then their grief wouldn’t have taken over.” SAY IT IZUMI

- “I reorganized your insides lol” Hoenhiem you could tell Izumi before you did that?? Creepy man.

- Still didn’t use the music from the original :(

- Okay Ed should be covered in blood after falling into it but he isn’t, just his head bandage. Wtf is up with that??

- GIRLIE I CANT WITH ENVY RN WTF

- WTF IS THE CGI OF THE HUMANS ON HIS MANE (?)

- EW IT GOT WORSE

- Okay how tf did envy knock them onto a stone platform that was LITERALLY NOWHERE TO BE SEEN UNTIL NOW

- Mustang and Riza my beloveddddd

- The actor for General Hakuro is pretty good tho, very weird, but good

- Girlie you walked into some weird shit

- Mustang girlie I luv you so much tho hope you slay this movie

- Oh hi Father

- “Daddy…?” -al “DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR-“ -father

- Also highkey the actor for Envy is really good too

- “How do you know Hoenhiem?” “Technically he’s our father” TECHNICALLY HAHA

- Ed is like “touchy no no, no touchy”

- Girlie you are a creep HANDS OFF THE LITTLE GUY

- Ed’s just like >:/ wtf get off

- WHY ARE YOU PETTING HIM???????

- I feel violated just watching this

- YEAH LING SAVE HIM

- YOOOO WERE GONNA SEE GREEDLING :D

- Ew that’s fuckin goopy (philosophers stone)

- It looks like melted jello ewwww

- Okay idk if seeing greedling is worth it for this shit

- Why is his mind blue???

- Wait did we see greed lose his body in the first one or….

- I don’t think we did???

- Uhhhh idk and I don’t wanna go check because the first one is bad

- Lowkey he’s fine as hell tho

- Mustang looks so damn done lmao

- HE’S SITTINF LIKE THE SHINJI MEME WAIT

- LMAOOO THATS SO GOOD

- okay okay it’s time for me to get my Mustang being a dad moment don’t fail me now movie

- Stfu Bradley no one cares

- WTF WHERES MY MOMENT HELLO

- ARE WE NOT GONNA GET THE 520 CENZ PROMISE??

- I HATE THIS

- Okay Ed, Sig, and Izumi get to interact now :D

- Okay so now we’re getting the scar brother research moment? Outside of Briggs? Cool? I guess?

- Oh hi greedling

- Okay so apparently father killed greed cause he disobeyed him but that’s all we get for that.

- Also this story set up just doesn’t and will never work as well as the first one, so much stuff is intertwined in different events and mixing it all up like this just makes it so confusing and that’s part of the reason why this just doesn’t work

- But I’ll ignore it for the sake of things

- OLIVIER :D

- Mustang and Riza checking in on their kids :D

- I’m so normal about found family

- 5 minutes in Briggs and Ed is already in trouble. In character stuff

- Also we gonna talk about his automail or we just gonna skip over that for plot reasons

- OLIVIER I LOVE YOUUUUUU

- WOMEN ARE HOT

- am I bi

- YESSS ICE QUEEN ICE QUEEN

- “How’s Alex?” “He’s good!” “…shame.”

- Okay sloth looks less weird than I imagine

- OLIVIER WITH THE BOMB :D

- Love her what a Queen

- Still wish they used the original soundtrack I will forever be mad about that

- SLAYYY OLIVIER YASSSSSS

- please marry me

- YEAHHHHHH

- Okay Ed just kicked sloth off of briggs? Girlie even with automail I doubt he could kick him that easy

- So Olivier doesn’t suspect Ed of anything? Out of character, #notmyicequeen

- Also turns out Hakuro and Raven are both the same person in this version??

- Oh Hi Winry

- “If I step out of line, they’ll do something to you.” Awww baby protect your gf

- YEAHHHH OLIVIER AGAIN :D

- “I won’t let anyone do whatever they want in here!” SAY IT GIRLIE YEAHHH

- please I’m begging you marry me

- on my KNEES

- They could not have casted her better

- Bb girl it’s so hard to understand you when you’re so fine I can’t focus

- Okay now Drachama is attacking Briggs

- When Sloth goes back in the hole Raven/Hakuro looks like a grandpa when he’s told he can leave the nursing home for the day to play golf and if that isn’t a summary of the entire us government idk what is

- AWWW WINRY HAS A CHARM ON HER BAG THAT LOOKS LIKE DEN :D

- Sorry Olivier, but it’s so hard to focus on this serious scene with your luscious lips and beautiful face

- She would murder me for saying this all but IDC IF TJAYS HOW I GO THATS HOW I GO

- Alphonse!! :D

- Hoenhiem is like “hUH???”

- He didn’t know about Al’s body????

- Okay bestie :/

- Father of the year fr

- Can’t even keep up with the fact that his son doesn’t have a body smh

- Okay Xerxes time

- ED IS THE SAME ACTOR FOR YOUNG HOENHIEM???

- Okay I get why

- BUT OKAY THEN IG

- Okay cool Xerxes sequence

- “Everybody is dead” lol cringe get good

- Sorry I have the humor of a middle schooler

- Oh hi Greedling

- Am I bi cause THIS MAN

- Okay now it’s Al!Pride time just out of nowhere for no reason?

- “So you’re gonna try and beat me then?” -Pride

- “… nah you’re freaky lol” -Hoenhiem

- Hi again Al

- “Don’t insult my son bitch” okay we love that

- “Okay, let’s all go beat the dwarf in the flask :D” -Hoenhiem

- “NO ONE FUCKING ASKED UGH” -Ed

- MUSTANGGG LOOKIN SPIFFY

- Still mad we don’t get the 520 cenz promise

- AHHHH BLACK HYATE

- LUV HIM

- Also seeing Mustangs team all together is so slay :D

- “Don’t die while we overthrow the government y’all.” -Mustang

- Oh great bad cgi soldier things

- YEAHHH MUSTANG SAVE YOUR SON!!

- Okay good Envy and Mustang will fight :)

- Now it’s time for CRAZY MUSTANG :D

- BURN THE BITCH BURN HIM

- ED LOOKS SO SAD AND CONCERNED :(

- YEAH RIZA STOP HIM STOP HIM

- YEAH ED STOP HIM

- “GIVE IT TO ME FULLMETAL NOW! OR ILL BURN OFF YOUR LEFT ARM!” ANGST ANGST ANGST

- “JUST TRY IT! GO AHEAD! ILL THROW DOWN WITH YOU NOW!” YEAHHHH SAVE YOUR DAD!!

- “YOU PLAN ON STANDING AT THE TOP OF THIS COUNTRY LIKE THAT?!” CRYINF SCREAMINF RAHHHHH

- “YOU KNOW THIS ISNT WHAT YOU WERE STRIVING FOR” PARENTAL!ROY AND ED PEOPLE WE ARE GETTING FED TONIGHT

- YEAH RIZA AND SCAR STOP HIM :D

- The way Ed got ready to fight when Mustang looked like he was going to snap at him I :,)

- “I am a giant fool forcing you all to act this way.” HUG YOUR WIFE AND SON

- “Lieutenant, please lower your gun. I’m so sorry” GONNA CRY NOW

- I still wish we got the 520 cenz promise and I will never not be bitter about that

- I don’t care that it’s not the point of this IM STILL MAD

- OOP BYE ED

- AWWW MUSTANG CALLING FOR ED BEFORE HE GOES :,) WERE GETTING FED GUYSSSS

- Okay I don’t like the fight between Bradley and Fu as much this looks more like stage fighting :/

- That’s the only one so far I didn’t like tho so….

- How tf is Riza gonna survive tho the weird doctor guy isn’t here

- DONT LOOK DIRECTLY AT AN ECLIPSE GUYS WHAT???

- Also those do not go that fast either

- I got to see one and it was really slow but fun ig

- Idk I was like 13 so

- Anyways

- YEAHHH ED HELP YOUR DAD!!!!

- Okay I wish they added colored contacts for this or smth so it’d be similar to the series and make more sense but eh… who knows

- ED YOU GOTTA KEEP HELPING HIM HE CANT SEEEEE

- or get revenge that works too

- Okay cgi for the absorbing god scene is cool

- Alright who’s ready to fight god?

- Am I hallucinating or is the actor for Al also the actor for god!father/Dwarf???

- IM NOT THATS HIM

- OKAY IG

- All the actors for this are really good actually. I can tell they have passion for this. I appreciate that.

- Okay it’s time for Ed to almost die for the 5000th time

- YEAH MUSTANG FUCK HUM UP

- YEAH EVERYONE!!!

- POWER OF FRIENDSHIP YIPPIE

- Also someone get Ed. Or don’t

- Nah cause the creepy guys gonna get him now

- AL

- THIS SCENE WILL NEVER NOT BE SAD TO ME

- DONT TOUCH THE CHILD WEIRDO

- It’s funny cause when I got into this I was younger than Ed and now I’m older than him. Fixation really be lasting a while. It’s the neurodivergence isn’t it.

- YEAHHH NOW WE GET HIM BACK TO HIS BODY :D

- I can’t even tell if it’s good because the series is good or if this is actually a good movie

- Oh hi greed I forgot about you lowkey

- But you’re hot so hiiiiiii <3

- “YOU DARE DISOBEY YOUR FATHER?!”

- “ITS A LATE-STAGE REBELLIOUS PHASE IM GOING THROUGH!”

- Iconic.

- And get punched idiot

- OKAY TIME TO BRING BACK AL

- YEAHHH HOENHIEM TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

- “Let me at least do something fatherly in the end” AHHHHH

- “STOP BEING A DUMBASS DAD” AWWW ED

- “You finally called me dad 🥹” I CANT VISIBLY REACT I DONT WANNA DISTURB MY ROOMMATES BUT AHWHWIWJEVRI

- “I was always a human to begin with. All is one, one is all. Even if I can’t use alchemy, I have great people in my life. My precious friends and family.” STILL THE BEST QUOTE FOREVER

- YEAHHHH RIZA AND MUSTANG WILL FIND A WAY TO GET HIS EYESIGHT BACK

- AWWW WE GET A TRISHA AND HOENHIEM SCENE

- YEAHHH THE BROS COME BAVKKKDHIHZHW

- AND WE SEE HUMAN AL WITH SHORT HAIR

- AWWWWWIEHJEIEHWHWH

- IM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS EVER

Conclusion: yep. This got me in the heart, even if it isn’t the show itself. Still stuff that bothered me. But overall, this series of movies is not so bad. Not so great, at times, but not so bad. Honestly, I think they did the best they could and that’s really all I could ask for. And it was nice seeing them all in live action. For this movie, an 8/10. For the series of movies? 6.5/10. Not remotely comparable to the original series, but still a worthwhile watch and something I’d recommend if you want a recap of the series but don’t have time to watch it all again.

Let me know if you all want notes on the first one! I watched it a long time ago but I’ll do it again for y’all. Much love guys <3

[youofsomesong]

Friends Describing Starkid Characters (part 6)

thats a richie if ive ever seen one (nah that was his old roommates character)

gollum and voldemort (wrong names but at least one of those fandoms is right)

thats spongebob, of course (askdfjh just from this i know the rest of this is gonna be great)

thats an overworked (but sassy) barista (she is!!! and i love her so much)

crissandra

thats a buck

wilma flintstone and betty rubble

“thats a rob or something” (he sent his girlfriends response who has seen part of this musical so idk why she was wrong) (im also gonna send these to her, she should not be answering on his)

sebastian (maybe i was still reeling at his gf not knowing paul after watching part of tgwdlm but i burst out laughing at this)

white ru paul

zoltar (i was prepared for jafar again, i like that it wasnt jafar)

ludo

mrs. princess

satan and his girlfriend, satan (at this point his gf texts me telling me i brought this upon myself and i know, i wanted funny)

fredonia baggins

i meant frodo, but that works

greaser johnny (honestly...from lore from nmt, he does work on cars if he follows his dads footsteps so...)

thats the same guy (FINALLY!!! EVERYONE ASSUMED THEY WERE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS!

thats andy warhol with contacts

thats a nameless background character from a local theatre adaptation of the film “animal house” (asjdhfjksah he had a name dude. we have a cult for him. i have a cameo from him)

thats peter parker if he never became spider-man (whats with my friends this time and thinking this is either spider-man or a spider-man actor adfkjhas)

bames jond

NPMD SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT!! LOOK AT YOUR OWN RISK!

michael jacksons character in the “thriller” music video

adam and eve (hes close enough for someone who hasnt seem it)

you drew a picture of her (i did :) its on my instagram (youofsomesong) and my art account on twitter (dontdosadnes))

she looks like that girl from the movie “clueless”

but with more of a 2014 thing going on

ernie

millennial peter pan

neon joe (this dude should be asleep so hes loosing it rn)

akihabara

pokemon gym leader

sportacus

he looks like an evan

[mio-nika]

I was rewatching a Lindsay Ellis videos about movie adaptations of musicals and why they usually don't work. Diegetic and Non-Diegetic narratives.

And it organically started this line of thought about Legion and how hard is to recommend it. So I wrote a giant post.

Like, yes. It's a very lose adaptation of marvel comic. The forgotten spin-off of X-Men universe about a powerful but insane mutant. But, let's just say, it took me three seasons to understand that it was a marvel property. I'm quite slow and only when I heard the last name Xavier I started thinking that I heard it somewhere else. It works great as a stand alone story where some characters just has this paranormal abilities and government are kinda not having it. So I don't think that marvel fans would be very interested in watching. Daredevil is not a good show, but at least Daredevil has Daredevil in it (sorry for fans of dardevil, I also like whump but let's be real here).

And for other people... It's extremely weird show? When I was talking about it with my friends and acquaintances I usually compared it to Voices, a 2014 thriller/black comedy film staring Ryan Reynolds who kills women and talks with his cat. But I also don't think that it's a good comparison? Voices is a black comedy and even if it takes some of the parts of living with schizophrenia realistic it downplays it for comedic purposes.

Fuck. I should have started from explaining that Legion is. As I already wrote, Legion is a TV series loosely based on the series of marvel comics by the same name.

It starts with David, our main protagonist, who is living in a mental hospital, because he's a menace of society, hears voices and let's just say. A little unstable. In the course of the first episode he finds himself a GF and finds that the reason why he hears voices is not because he's sick, but because he's a powerful mutant, a telepath, who hears other people and gets tangled in their minds. And he's a god's child and saviour that that will defend mutants from oppressive politics of humans.

So it's a story about telepaths. And showing epic battles between telepaths are kinda hard? I mean, they can throw big blocks of concrete, cars, control other people minds but it's all are happening outside of their minds. To show things inside their heads, you need to go deeper, you need to be creative. And weird. The magical and terrifying world of human psyche.

In the exact first episode we are granted with a complicated choreographic scene of all of the mental patients in the clinic... How else would we understand that the main character is in love with a girl of his dreams?

And it's only the starting point. The show blurres the boundaries between reality and unreality, where every event is both real and theatrical because in the mind of the main character. It is.

And this is the problem. For example. I have a friend. And they told me, that they don't like musicals because it's hard to them to take seriously the moment where everyone just starts singing all of the sudden. And like. Valid. So let's imagine that the people in the show, not only start singing for no reason, they start a complex dance-off to show their mind power? And you don't even know if they're really dancing, or they just. Doing something else, that for the audience looks like a dance? Anyway, yeah, the second season starts with a dramatic dance-off between three powerful mutants and you just. Sitting there. And I refuse to tell you about rap battle. There was a rap battle. I'm an old wizard who lives in the shoe...

Every episode of Legion starts with a retelling of a previous one. And where all the other shows says "previously" Legion says "ostensibly". Ostensibly in Legion. Who knows that is happening? Not me.

So let's get back to the Voices. Why I'm so torn up when I'm comparing Legion to Voices. Because, well. I think that Legion tells a story about mental illness and it impact much more seriously. Yes, it's a quirky show, with dance and songs, but... "может ли бог быть сошедшим с ума?"

Have you ever watched "They Look Like People"? It's an indie horror film from 2014 about a guy who hears voice of God telling him about incoming apocalypse and alien monsters who are taking people's bodies. I don't like horror movies where mental illnesses is a main story point. They are usually tacky and mean. "This person is ill, so he's scary and dangerous!" And all that. But at the same time, illness is dangerous. Not only for people around sick person, but to the person themselves. Main character in They Look Like People is not evil, he's sick and he needs help. He's suffering much more than the suffering that he inflicts. But where the main character in They Look Like People has a way out, the Legion does not. So what will you do? What you could ever do, if you have an insane god in your hands who are untreatable. And even if he was, he would refuse help because of the years of medical abuse. Both he and people around him have no way out. No happy ending.

So. It's hard to recommend Legion. But I would ask you to try. It's a salad of beautiful horror hiding in colourful clothes of the fairy tale.

Милый, имя тебе легион...

[for-lovely-things]

Get to know me

Thanks to @m-lter for the tag!!!❤️💕

Favorite color:

Pink! I've been so obsessed over it lately😬

Currently reading:

nothing😤 i'm not a books person and I'm judging everyone who reads (jk ok!!!) I don't remember last time I read a book or a fic

Comic: the last one I read was Ловя лунный свет (Catching moonlight) by Nushanchel. It's amazing though it's a russian comic book which I bought exclusively on an art market and I doubt any foreign ppl can check it out. It's amazing though and absolutely stunning art and watercolor

Last song:

Ok last time I listened to music which was two days ago (wtf) I listened to Life is Yours by Foals (of course lol). Last song which has been habitating my head is ​quinnie - touch tank though, it's very Vicky and Vel :")

Last movie:

Me and gf watched Jennifer's body last time :3 very dibolically lesbian lmao

Also last time I went to the movies with my friend we watched Dungeons and Dragons! Not fantastic but fun! John Wick 4 was much more my taste ':)

Last series:

The Last of Us!! AMAZING joel and ellie are my babies and i loved them sooo much more than original game's version. Fantastic adaptation!

And me and gf currently (re) watching Elena: Princess of Avalor. Very fun disney cartoon series about Mexican princess :3 Mel is working as my consultant on Mexican accuracy lmao

I'm also a very long-lasting fan of Miraculous Ladybug and watching season 5 currently. Soooooo good jesus, I'm having SO much fun watching it and each ep is such a boost for me ahah. Story is real good too, it get better and better with each season

Sweet, savory or spicy:

Sweet with savory! And bitter pls, why it isn't mentioned

Craving:

Moving aboard

Tea or coffee:

Both!! Ppl who don't like coffee just haven't found a perfect percentage of milk and sugar in your cup, and yes what I'm drinking usually can be barely called coffee xD

Currently working on:

Uni work :/ 3d modeling 4 rooms, house and landscape at the same time

From more fun stuff, I finally came back to wip of my fic about Johnny and V going on a ridiculous date- Badlands and Bad ideas. I think it's almost done but I've been super tired lately lol stopped drawing almost entirely too😔 doing rp still though so creative life is still going :)

Tagging @mejol @elioamari @cyberpsycho-for-eurodyne @tessa1972 but if anyone else wants to do it go ahead!

[gravelyhumerus]

do you have any hcs for the characters in your college au’s interests in the sense of tv/movies/music? i’d love to hear them

YES!!!

JJ

she doesn’t have that much free time to really focus on things that aren’t soccer and school but she does have some favourites

as for music it’s stuff that can get her hyped up for running. she loves blasting music when she works out

“what? I rock.” is probably my favourite quote so I think she definitely listens to some classic rock that her parents played when she was a kid. she likes pop, anything with high energy. she was also not afraid to admit that she likes taylor swift

she cried the first time she heard hozier’s take me to church. she did not know why

as a kid JJ read every single book about horses. you know the ones about the young girl taming the wild horse and saving the barn? that story over and over again. she had the plot of black beauty memorized. its canon that jj was a horse girl and im certain she was that type of horse girl

Ros loved movies and JJ has fond memories of movie nights with her whole family. when her parents start to fight, and Ros retreats into herself, they stop. JJ claims she doesn’t have time to watch movies after that, she gets antsy as she watches them, feeling as though she should be doing something productive. she did see Twilight in the theatres with her soccer team on opening night but thats different

when she needs to escape, she watches comedies anything that she can do work while watching. she’ll work on her homework at the same time and she’ll just watch anything that requires minimal focus like parks and rec or the good place. she likes to keep it light and avoid material that could be triggering for her. 

she gets stuck rewatching her comfort shows and movies over an over bc of the anxiety 

she also does develop an interest in cheesy old horror movies with a bunch of jump scares because she likes the adrenaline rush, she laughs at Emily when she hides under the blankets when JJ puts them on

JJ also obviously watches sports when she can. she was always the tomboy of the family and she and her dad would watch it together. she and derek watch the game on the tv in their residences common room

Emily

as our fav big tiddy goth gf, we know Emily had a huge emo phase. I think it happened after she left Rome, and it was all encompassing. her music was angry, loud and she played it on her speaker system until her mom threw it out, then she resigned to play it in her headphones loud enough to give her tinnitus

once she shifted from her goth phase into being definitively alt, she didn’t let go of all of those songs, but shifted into listening to some music with queer undertones. we’re talking passion pit, mother mother, and of course: girl in red. probably some other like niche artists in multiple other languages as well. she loved italian music when she was there and WILL sing along to cheesy french pop music as well

we know emily is a big reader, and i think she has definitely trudged through all the classics like jules verne and jane austin before trying out some more contemporary works. unfortunately, since she moved around so often, she spent a lot of time at the library. her mom said that she wasnt allowed too have more than one box to pack her books in, so Emily has weaned her collection own to the essentials that she’s read over and over

she is a sucker for tv adaptations of the books shes read. she thinks it works better than 2 hour films because she likes how faithful they can be to the source material

most importantly: she is a nerd. she LOVES the x files and buffy the vampire slayer and firefly, all the 90s tv that she watched as re-runs growing up. sci-fi, dystopian, speculative fiction even some fantasy she eats it all up

she also is a sucker for documentaries that she watches to clear her mind or go to sleep. it’s one of the things that got her into studying criminology! she loved documentaries on murder investigations

[koolchickskoolfics]

im not super into webtoons but this is my friend @istanfrancisabernathy’s section of our google doc, copied near verbatim (only edits made are formatting stuff) bc i trust her god-tier taste

19 Days

This is a very popular webtoon Rn and it is SO FREAKIN GOOD. It’s really funny and it’s about these 4 friends and their high school ,,, adventures ig with a touch of ~mafia mystery~ as the desc says. This is also an ongoing webtoon so chapters are still being released ! Overall I’m in LOVE w this webtoon it’s so funny and sweet one of my personal faves.

Tamen de Gushi (Their Story)

THIS!!! This is similar to 19 days. It is a rlly romantic comedy type thing w,, sweet gfs and a really funny side friendship. Overall rlly enjoyed this one

Nan Hao and Shang Feng

Another comedy, sorry not sorry. Again, if you like 19 days and tamen de gushi, this is in the same vein, it’s about two best friends and one of the besties has a crush on this girl in his class. But little does he know that girl ships him with his best friend and it’s really funny and yeah 😀

Ganbare! Nakamura-kun!! (Go for it, Nakamura-kun!!)

THIS. THIS. THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER READ. it’s about a boy who has a crush on another guy in his class and it’s really simple and sweet and short but the art style is so CUTE and just everything about this manga is,,, chef’s kiss.

Shimanami Tasogare (Our Dreams at Dusk)

This is one of the first mangas that I read. This manga is genuinely one of the most beautiful manga’s I have ever read. Compared to my last couple suggestions this is a more serious manga. The main character is a boy who wants to kill himself after his classmates start to figure out that he is gay, but a mysterious woman saves him and takes him to this lounge-esque place where he meets a group of other LGBT people and basically it’s about the different struggles that these people deal with for being LGBT, and how the main character grows and learns to accept himself. It’s just so beautiful and melancholy and has really great representation and discussions so yes. I know this description is really fucking long but yeah I have a lot of feelings for this manga and could talk about it forever tbh

Ao no Flag (Blue Flag)

Lord forgive me I added a shounen manga to this list. But this is NOT your typical shounen manga. (Honestly, thinking about it, idk why this is considered shounen. More shoujo than shounen.) This is a romance/school/slice of life manga as well, but it truly has so much depth. It’s basically about a boy and his relationships with friends, girlfriend, trying to figure high school and life out. There is a love triangle type thing too, but manages to not be as cliche as I thought? Also, the dialogue in this manga is GREAT. Like, I was shocked at some of the discussions they had. And the ending is just…. *screams* this manga is another that I could talk about for fucking ever I really loved it.

Doukyuusei (Classmates)

This is it. This is what true love looks like. This is a really cute manga about a typical high school romance. Not much to say here but I really loved it. There is a fucking movie adaptation of this manga that is SO GOOD. The full movie is on YouTube so if you’re ever so inclined to watch it’s here

Suicide Boy

Okay lemme just say, with this webtoon: major suicide TW (obviously). It’s mostly humorous though.

It’s about a boy who basically keeps trying to commit suicide and failing and his adventures with friends and shit along the way. This IS a comedy but the theme is obviously dark and there are some somber moments so keep that in mind!!! But I really like this, the art style and the characters and uhhhh yeah

Umibe no Etranger - Stranger by the Sea

You thought it was over… you thought wrong 😈

This is a really cute manga as well I’m fully in love with the art style. There is some spicy content in this manga (only a little bit tho) but just uhhh yeah beware of that. The anime adaptation came out in Japan this year!! I have no idea when we will get it but I can’t wait. There is also a sequel that’s like way longer

Sasaki to Miyano

Currently reading this and I’m in love it’s so mf cute. It’s about a boy who reads BL manga,,, There is also an anime adaptation coming out for this too so um yes very much hyped as fuck

An Uncomfortable Truth

Genres: psychological/tragedy/drama (idk if you’re into those kinds of genres but yeah!!) also gore warning for this webtoon

This is a very disturbing and sad webtoon so warning asf but it was rlly good :(( about a yandere BOY with a very disturbing past and his brother

Given

music kageyama and hinata basically sad v sad but so very good

There’s an anime adaptation of this that’s really good too it’s just called Given

Tokyo Revengers (this is my fav manga atm)

Omg wait I’m adding to this after so long,,, I forgot to add this, it’s literally amazing bye

It’s about a 26 year old guy who’s pretty lame and basically has done jack shit with his life. He sees on TV that his girlfriend from middle school died and then he discovers that he can travel back in time when he gets in an accident and he decides that he’s going to try and go back in time to save her life/stop her from dying. It’s an action manga and is mainly about gangs so yeah 👍 but pls it’s literally so fuckijg good and it’s one of those stories that I got hooked on from the very beginning and yea and the art is wonderful

[takaraphoenix]

percy jackson for the ask game

Thanks for playing! ^^

Top 5 favourite characters: Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo, Clarisse la Rue, Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Silena Beauregard

Other characters you like: Rachel Elizabeth Dare, Thalia Grace, Leo Valdez, Charles Beckendorf, Tyson

Least favourite characters: Hera, uuuhm I mean Drew I guess and Nancy?? I don’t know, I’ve gone through so many cycles with PJO, I’ve come around on most characters

Otps: again, let’s make that a Top Five? Nico/Percy, Jason/Percy, Octavian/Percy, Triton/Percy, Will/Pery

Notps: Percy/Annabeth, Leo/Calypso, Grover/Percy, Tyson/Percy, book Luke/Percy

Favourite friendships: Canon? Grover & Percy, Clarisse & Percy, Nico & Reyna

Favourite family: I meeean technically they are ALL family since all of the gods are siblings/cousins! ;D Okay, okay. Paul, Sally, Percy and Tyson! A very obvious pick

Favourite episodes: doesn’t have a TV show adaptation yet? xD

Favourite season/book/movie: The Battle of the Labyrinth

Favourite quotes: not really a quote-kinda-gal

Best musical moment: haven’t gotten to see the musical yet!

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: I mean obviously when black on white it was confirmed that Nico was in love with Percy? Like? You can imagine, yes? :D

When it really disappointed you: …so often *whispers softly, voice breaking* but to sum it up basically from The Mark of Athena through to the end. The above mentioned confession was honestly like the only highlight out of those three books...

Saddest moment: WHEN THEY KILLED OFF BECKENDORF AND THEN KILLED OFF SELINA. I CRIED THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY

Most well done character death: Luke’s death was shit, Ethan’s death was frustrating because it was a cheap cop out of an actual redemption arc I really hate the “chose the wrong side and now immediately dies in a Heroic Sacrifice”-trope (which plays into why Luke’s death was shit), Bianca’s death was ridiculous - the fact that out of ALL of the Huntresses they picked the one who had been a huntress for 0.2 DAYS was just pathetic and literally projectd “this 12 year old child with zero combat training is totally gonna die” all along and it pisses me off so much, while Silena and Beckendorf made me cry they were also frustrating because they were avoidable had people used their brains, Octavian’s death genuinely made me furious because it was played for cheap laughs... I guess Bob and Damansen by default then...?

Favourite guest star: uuuuuuuh I got nothing

Favourite cast member: Leven Rambin as Clarisse la Rue?? Holy shit blessed casting thank you

Character you wish was still alive: ...one? I only get one? *distressed Phoe-noises* Silena? Charles? Ethan? Urgh. How dare you make me pick only one...

One thing you hope really happens: ...I know there are people out there still reading the new books and I wouldn’t wish this for them because they clearly still enjoy it, but good gods do I wish Riordan would just finally stop and give Percy a rest. Like, not even stop writing - he could write new things. but stop dragging Percy Jackson personally into everything, be that visiting the Norse because hey it’s his gf’s cousin, or getting dragged into Apollo’s weird shit, seriously just... move on, please

Most shocking twist: quite truthfully that Ares was the traitorous god in The Lightning Thief and not Hades. I am so used to Hades being painted as The Bad Guy and the Evil Mastermind bullshit that it was genuinely so refreshing that no actually he’s just wronged because he wants his property back too and he’s not actually the bad guy??

When did you start watching/reading?: 2010, I guess, right after I saw the movie for the first time

Best animal/creature: BLACKJACK BLACKJACK BLACKJACK. No wait Mrs. O’Leary is also there! :O Both? Both!

Favourite location: THE UNDERWORLD

Trope you wish they would stop using: Everyone Needs To Be Paired Up! Seriously, obsessive shipping in canon is cringey but if you have a literal ship with seven crewmates and it turns out to be three couples and the seventh is first in a Love Triangle with one of the couples and THEN gets his own girlfriend, that’s... that’s genuinely pathetic, like I would raise a judgemental eyebrow at a fanfiction that ships everyone off this perfectly paired up, but a published actual work that is not the author’s very first publication? That’s embarrassing, man

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: portrayal of Greek gods and myths

Funniest moments: snarky Percy sassing gods :D

Couple you would like to see: This implies a non-canon couple I’d like to see become canon and just honestly, genuinely, none, good gods there is already too much romance as it is, dial it back

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: honestly, the second movie took the two only fancasts that were dear to me and actually cast them. Anthony Head as Chiron and Nathan Fillion as Hermes. That was such perfect casting and were my only casting wishes, so like... I got nothing

Favourite outfit: Clarisse’s movie outfit?? It’s? So? Good??

Favourite item: I mean, Riptide is really practical?

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: A very dear friend of mine gave me the movie poster for the second movie and it is hanging on my ceiling :D But other than that, sadly enough this franchise is not exactly heavy on merch - which is ridiculous to me... the opportunities. Please make this into a cartoon and start producing ALL of the figures and toys. All of them. Seriously, the toy opportunity on this franchise is so huge??

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: uuuuuuh honestly no god really fits me so I don’t know

Most boring plotline: Annabeth’s third book side-quest really bore me

Most laughably bad moment: When they had a prophecy about an “angel’s breath” and Annabeth Chase, daughter of ATHENA, stood right there, not figuring it out - but Piper did. That... That did Annabeth such a freaking disservice, seriously the disrespect from Riordan there. Why did you even make her a daughter of wisdom if you aren’t going to use her to be clever? That actively made me bang my head against the nearest wall because it was such an obvious part of the riddle like seeeriously

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: I loved learning more about Annabeth, Luke and Thalia’s past together

Most layered character: I mean Percy, but that’s also due to getting five books exclusively from his POV

Most one dimensional character: lol like the dozen or so characters who only exist as First Name Only? And yeah, I get it, you can’t flesh them all out more. But Jason Grace had a whole-ass life before he came to CHB and we got name-drops of his closest friends in The Lost Hero, but most of them remained a name only and Jason not only didn’t get to team up with them later on, to try and convince them to join his cause, he also never actively thought about them. I don’t know, but if I’d spend months away from all my friends, I would definitely spend some of my POV thinking about them...

Scariest moment: thiiis was not a scary series

Grossest moment: When Riordan tried to sell domestic violence as cute, aka Annabeth judo-flipping her boyfriend in punishment for getting abducted by a goddess :D”““ what the fuq

Best looking male: if we go by actors, I guess Chris Rodriguez? xD

Best looking female: oooh definitely Clarisse when we go with the movie faces *^*

Who you’re crushing on (if any): mmmh yeah no

Favourite cast moment: I do not know any xD”

Favourite transportation: shadow-travel! It’s so cool

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): them entering the underworld was pretty damn cool??

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: NICO’S AGE. CONSISTENCY. Stop posting things that contradict each other like just stop tweeting canons out if you don’t have a fixed list of what is canon. ALSO SALLY’S MOTHER IS NAMED LAURA, SHE WAS NAMED LAURA FOR YEARS BEFORE YOU FORGOT THAT YOU NAMED THAT CHARACTER LAURA AND NOW SALLY NAMED HER CANON DAUGHTER FUCKING ESTELLE AFTER HER MOTHER’S NEW NAME. Good gods. How do professional authors not have lists to crosscheck about vital information of their own characters, like their birthdates and their parents’ names.

Best promo: I don’t watch promos

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: Honestly before I watched the movie already, when I read on wikipedia that a son of Hades was not just A Good Guy in this bookseries but also a main character :D

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS

[sincerelybluevase]

Didn't think all questions from 'Asks' could be proposed, so there you go: all the questions (1 to 96) or as much as you can!

Well thank you, nonny! I shall put these under a cut. 

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? Closed, because you never know what might be in there!

(2) Do You Have Freckles? I wish I did, but alas! My sisters do have them so jealous much. 

(3) Can You Whistle? I can, but I can’t carry a tune I’m afraid. 

(4) Last Song You Listened To. Almost by Hozier. 

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour? It’s a tie between blue and red. 

(6) Relationship Status. Taken, and happily so!

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now? 16 degrees Celsius, so that’s about 61 F.

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky? I woke up from a nightmare, so it wasn’t really the best sort of waking. That said, I’m not cranky per se, just a bit sleepy still.

(9) How Many Followers? 438

(10) Zodiac Sign. Aquarius

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour? Blue!

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? Not daily; I take vitamin D tablets you have to take every few days. Before I used to take a different vitamin D tablet daily, though!

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? No but I do talk to myself haha. 

(14) What Books Are You Reading? The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien for a course at university, and Beyond Black by Hilary Mantel for fun. 

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14. I don’t think you have to worry about Bilbo. 

(16) Favourite Anime? Hm, probably Howl’s Moving Castle. 

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? I’m trying to remember when I last cried. Either in front of my gf, or in front of my sisters. 

(18) Do You Collect Anything? Books and crystal skulls!

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch? Nothing yet, because it is still morning. 

(20) Do You Dance In The Car? Our car isn’t big enough for that haha. 

(21) Favourite Animal? I think I would have to choose otters. 

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics? I watch parts of it.

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? Well, I usually go up at 9.30, but that doesn’t mean I’m actually aiming for sleep at that point, haha. 

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now? I’m allergic to make up, so no.

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? Neither, because I hate swimming. 

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog? How could I ever choose?

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water? I live in the Netherlands, which has the cleanest tap water in the world. Therefore, drinking bottled water is almost criminal. 

(28) What Makes You Happy? Many things! My gf, my sisters, my dog, good books, writing, playing the piano, petrichor, warmth, hot tea...

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? It depends on what I am studying, truth be told. I do both, though I always use instrumental music. 

(31) Dogs Or Cats? Both. 

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? I don’t know. Probably a pastel blue, maybe orange?

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox. Sadly, I have had neither. 

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? Not if I can help it. 

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? Define magic. 

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing? I’m wearing a dress. It’s denim, therefore blue. 

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? I can!

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? I’d like to say both, but I mainly spend it. 

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? Yes; my phone case. 

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? I wouldn’t call it an obsession, but I have been listening to Lana Del Rey’s new album on repeat, and I’ve found myself craving gothic books.

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? I haven’t. 

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? No. 

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? All the freaking time!

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? No; the air is super dry, the seats are cramped and uncomfortable, the food too little and not very good. I do like I’m going somewhere, though. 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. The only thing that comes to mind right now is Shrek the Fourth, which is somewhat embarrassing, but really I cry easily with films.

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? Sunflower seeds, though both are lovely when salted. 

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? Hozier. 

(48) Are You A Picky Eater? I can’t eat gluten and I’m also lactose intolerant, so in that sense I am picky. If it boils down to what I actually like, I’m not. 

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? Not at all. 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? Nope!

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write? Yes and yes!

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? No because I am perpetually afraid I will damage my ears and go deaf. 

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? I have only ever carved a pumpkin once, so I am going to go with that because it is so new. 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up? Mrs de Winter bin ich! From the German musical adaption of Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca.

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather) Transitioning from summer to autumn. 

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now? Some free time so I can finish my first draft and finish the book I’m reading. 

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed. No.

(58) What Is Your Gender? Female.

(59) Coffee Or Tea? Tea.

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? I’m doing an English literature master, so I have homework all the time! I have to write a little essay about the letters of Margaret Cavendish, read LOTR, and choose a topic for an essay for my course on British and Irish fantasy novels.

(61) What Is Your Sexuality? Lesbian.

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? Yes.

(63) Favourite Pokemon? Bulbosaur.

(64) Favourite Social Media? Tumblr.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories? They can be fun!

(66) Do You Get Homesick? As a rule, no, but it depends on where I am and most of all with whom.

(67) Are You A Virgin? What a personal question!

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now? I don’t use conditioner, but I am using a shampoo bar by Lush which I don’t remember the name of, but it is for blondes and has chamomille and smells like lemon. 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free? What an American question! It is not really something I will have to deal with, living in the Netherlands. Still, if it came to it I suppose my car is less dirty than a crappy motel room.

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? Yes.

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? Portrait of a Lady on Fire.

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex? I don’t have one. 

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now? I don’t really have one. 

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? That fully depends on the person those eyes belong to. As a general rule, brown eyes.

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? I do, and yes!

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? I’m eating a sandwich as we eat. 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone? Microsoft’s solitaire collection. 

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not? I can’t give CPR, but if i could, I would, because I damn well hope someone would give me CPR if I was in that situation. 

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? Yes.

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? No.

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People? Again, depends on the context. 

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them. I wear one on each thumb and one on my right middle finger. Can’t take a picture ATM

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed? Closed.

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today? Brushed my teeth, made breakfast, talked to my gf. It’s 7.45 in the morning, guys.

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed? Nothing. 

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now. I have face moisturiser and that is it guys.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person? A day person.

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc. Candy crush friends, and Microsoft solitaire collection.

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened. Well this morning I had a nightmare where I had to perform an exorcism on a loved one, and it didn’t work. Come to think of it, I did try to bless them with ‘the father, the mother, and the holy ghost,’ so that may have had something to do with it not working. 

(90) Favourite Soda Drink? Fanta or 7-up.

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite? My gf laughing, rain on leaves (I am not that much of a rain person though), birds. 

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? Sweats are more comfy, Jeans look better. 

(93) How Do You Look Right Now? Tired. 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You. Music. 

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want? I don’t want one. I am too fickle; I’d grow bored of it after a while.

(96) Favourite YouTuber? I don’t have one favourite since I use youtube for different things. 

[m0onbean]

friends to lovers!au mark lee

gif credit

i was inspired bc my sister recently confessed to her best friend and the way she did it was hella cute soo....

when you first entered high school you didn't know anybody since you just moved in town

nd it was rlly hard trying to adapt since you were a new kid + u were socially awkward 

on ur first day of school u sat down in ur seat in English nervous as hell bc there are so many... unfamiliar faces.... hELP

and next to u is your seat partner who is this guy who has brown hair and is wearing a pink sweater nd ur like .... ok u can do this u can make conversation with him

but then the teacher interrupts and ur like WeLP THERE GOES MY SOCIAL LIFE AND MY CHANCES OF MAKING FRIENDS :)))))))))))))))

ur teacher basically just talks about the syllabus and other boring stuff nd honestly his voice is so monotone that u just feel like napping

nd u notice that the guy next to you is also trying hella hard not to sleep and you smile to yourself at how his head cutely falls down as he's dozing off but then he immediately wakes up nd pretends like nothing happened

your teacher just keeps on talking and at one point he's like "i hope nobody's fallen asleep yet! :D" jokingly 

and under your breath you're like "... we're literally all about to pass out" 

you expect nobody to notice but then u hear the boy next to you let out a small laugh nd u look over and ohmygod he looks so cute whenever his face scrunches up from smiling!!

when the bell rings you're about to get up and the boy suddenly approaches u and is like "hi... i'm mark... i'm from canada" 

nd you just laugh and go "hi mark from canada i'm (y/n) from ___" nd then he gets rlly embarrassed bC WHY DID HE SAY THAT

but its ok bc u thought it was cute

nd from then on he introduces you to his friend group which is just filled with a bunch of crackheads honestly

u join their squad and for the next highschool years you basically become best friends with all of them

but mark... he becomes your #1 bff immediately

you're both awkward & dorky so when u two are laughing to eachother about some dog meme on Instagram haechan and jisung judge you two so hard 

you two like to go on adventures together in town like maybe riding bicycles to a park OR going into costume shops just to have fun trying on wigs 

during English the teacher probably hates you two bc instead of focusing on how to write an analytical essay u and mark are listening to music while playing endless rounds of tic tac toe

anyways the whole school year passes nd now u two are sophomores 

a lot of people gossip about u two and speculate when u two are gonna start dating but ????? you don't see mark that way and ur 2971301% sure he doesn't see you that way either

in fact u two like to make a lot of dating jokes and pretend to be a youthful, happy couple so y'all can get free things from cashiers who can't resist your adorableness

yet sometimes.... u wonder what it would be like to actually date him but u convince urself that a) mark doesn't like you THAT way and b) being best friends is just as good

jeno is your #2 best friend because he's actually the most normal one in your squad + he's actually rlly compassionate and reasonable like DAMN husband material

nd u tell jeno that u always wonder what it would be like... to have mark has ur boyfriend and he'd be like Well not much would change right? 

whenever ur away from mark u two are either facetiming or texting

whether it's just sending eachother funny memes or tagging eachother in videos of cute animals ... u never go a day without interacting

one day he suddenly doesn't reply to any of your texts or calls and you're ??? ok mayb he's just busy bc he does play basketball a lot with the boys

but then..... u start getting worried so u ask ur groupchat where he's been

you: has anyone seen mark? he's not responding to any of my messages

dream groupchat~

bitch #1 (renjun): why ???? r u worried about him ;)

bitch #2 (haechan): OOooOoOo bc u care about ur Boyfriend?!!

bitch #3 (jisung): omg i'm blushing u 2 are so cute uwu

you: omg shut up i hate you three

jeno<3: i heard he's at the hospital

nana<3: yea he injured his foot

dolphin: yah not to be a snitch BUT he told us not to tell you

you: wait what?!

you rush to the nearest hospital on ur bicycle and when you find mark just chilling on a hospital bed with a cast on his foot u almost pass out

nd he's rlly surprised at first but when he sees tears stream down ur face he immediately feels like the worst guy on Earth

he has to hug you nd tell you 194820 times that he's OK and that he's sorry for not telling u abt the injury

when u find out that some guy ran over his foot with a skateboard u immediately find the guy at school and almost kick him but the whole squad holds u back

at school chenle privately tells u that mark didn't want to tell u abt the injury bc he didn't want you to worry about him but ??? that's BS!! 

chenle tries to imply that mark cares about u in a Special way but u completely miss it

in fact, the rest of the dream squad always talks about u two behind your backs and are like "when tf r they gonna realize their feelings"

even tho haechan wants to just leave you guys in a room to talk about it the rational ones (aka Jeno & RenJun) are like "no just let them figure out on their own"

junior year starts!! and u feel...... different

everyone around you starts to date and you wish you could too

some ppl have asked u out before but u kindly rejected them all.... but why?? why don't u have feelings for them?? they're cute and probably ur ideal type yet u still don't want them

nd whenever all ur frieds are in relationships u feel left out 

Jaemin tells u that u don't need to date to "fit in" but you don't understand why u're not attracted to anyone

so imagine how ... lost ... you feel when mark starts dating someone

he's mentioned this girl a couple of times before and how she's pretty nd u would always agree and encourage him to make a move

but it's all too sudden and unexpected when he texts you about it

chat with mark-

morkypoo: (y/n) i'm dating her

you: who? that girl you mentioned a few times?

morkypoo: yea

morkypoo: you're not mad right?

you: no! i'm happy for you! why would i be mad

morkypoo: idk 

and you WERE happy for him!! but u kinda just relied on him to stay single forever with you so y'all can make fun of the other dream boys when they date 

besides that.... you sort of feel.... jealous?!

so ur on a phone call with jeno panicking and ranting abt how you're so confused!!!

and jeno just calmly listens and is like "okay let's see here... why would you be jealous?"

nd u would be like "because i want him to be my best friend and i don't want him to ditch me for someone else i guess!!!"

"any other reason??"

and you would think hard about it and suddenly

oh shit

you like mark.

in your panic you hang up on jeno and throw your phone somewhere 

and your heart.... aches. 

like there's this sharp pain around it and wow. This sucks.

the tall boy from Canada whose face scrunches up whenever he laughs, the boy who you share blankets with during movies, the boy who you have as your lockscreen is actually ... your first love...

so in order to forget your pain you try to deny it 

its normal for friends to sometimes feel attraction right??? it's okay for you to think about kissing your friend right???

without even realizing it, you start distancing yourself from mark in an attempt to figure out your feelings

mark is confused about why you stopped tagging him in Canada memes and why you always go to sleep earlier nd can't call him anymore

during school you two still talk a lot ofc but whenever mark's gf comes around to kiss or hug him you immediately turn around and leave 

the dream squad watches this happen for a month before they finally decide to deal with this shit themselves

haechan: ok squad our lovely couple is falling apart we need to save them

renjun: haechan we aren't going to lock them in a room!!

jeno: well (y/n) is sad about mark dating someone else

jisung: that idiot... why'd he have to date that girl

jaemin: idk bc we all know he doesn't really like her

chenle: ur right she's annoying af

haechan: i watched them talk before... the conversation was STALE

and as the boys try to figure out a plan, you lay on your bed contemplating everything with your heart feeling stuffy

junior year ends and summer starts 

but now, you're certain of your feelings

mark offers you to get ice cream at night and you agree

when you both arrive at the ice cream store you realize how much you loved just spending time with mark

and how you would die if your friendship fell apart bc of your stupid feelings

after you two are done, you say your goodnights and you enter your car with a clouded mind

and you sit in your car, not even budging, just thinking

before u know it, you grab your phone and you dial mark's number

he answers after the first ring and is like "(y/n) what's up?"

"i know this is really embarrassing and i'm probably going to regret saying this but... i think i like you. no. i like you, mark."

the line goes silent and you can tell he's shocked

after seconds you hear him go, ".... oh okay." nd you scramble to hang up the call, thinking you messed everything up

he sounded really surprised and you start beating yourself up over it

when you drive home, you get a text response from mark that says

morkypoo: i think i like you too

morkypoo: no, i like you. 

after your confession it seems like things are back to normal except now you cuddle closer to him and hold hands with him a LOT

your favorite thing is to surprise him with pecks to his cheeks bc it gets him so freaking embarrasing and flustered!! and now he's scrambling for words bc u literally made him forget what he was about to say

u two decide not to tell the dream squad abt your relationship until a few days

but ofc the plan goes wrong bc suddenly as u two are watching Netflix while sharing popcorn mark gets a call from haechan

nd mark is ? and answers it 

AND haechan is like "hey mark let's meet at the library tomorrow at 2:00pm"

mark, suspiciously: u never go to the library...

haechan: uHHHHH i want to read books ok bye see you there!!!

then he just hangs up and mark is is hella confused and you're just staring at him with the same ? expression

not even a second later your phone starts ringing and guess who it is. yup, haechan.

haechan: let's meet at the library tomorrow at 2:10 pm! oh yeah and don't tell mark!! ok bye!

after discussing it with mark, you 2 come to the agreement to just play along with whatever game haechan was pulling

and once you arrive at the library you're immediately pushed into a study room by haechan and he's like"TALK OUT YOUR FEELIINGS" then locks the door

hmm and guess who else is in that room? mark.

u 2 look at eachother then start laughing bC HAECHAN WAS TRYING TO set you guys together but y'all were one step ahead

to surprise haechan (who was trying to pretend like he wasn't spying on you two from the door's window), you kiss mark on the cheek 

the door bursts open and haechan is like ???WTF that fast???wow i'm good at this-

you: no we were already together

haechan:

haechan, pulling out his phone: i'm telling the squad that you two are fake friends for not telling us this earlier

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #178

“for such a little thing, you sure are in your own way.”

What’s your favorite type of bird? Barn owls are actual deities. What was on the last sandwich you ate? Pb & j. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? Same stuff I listen to now, although I had a mild screamo-ish phase. Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? No. How far away is the closest store to your house and what is it? Some cheap dollar store in the town, dunno names. What is your favorite Thai dish? Haven't tried any. When was the last time you made out with somebody? Over a month back. What month of the year was your mother born? August. Are there any candles in your bedroom, and what scent are they? No. What TV show(s) have you been watching currently? None. How many apps do you have on your phone? Six. My phone has so, so little storage ugh. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? No to both. Are there any movies you’ve seen so many times? Yeah, sure. Of course a lot as a kid, Finding Nemo and The Lion King 1 & 2 especially, then I've watched both Blair Witch Project movies a lot, Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas... How would you describe your sense of humor? Sarcastic. What’s your favorite type of bread? Pumpernickel. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yeah. Have there ever been any brushfires/wildfires in your area? Yeah. What did you have to eat for dinner last night? Nothing (Thanksgiving was lunch). Do you have separate emails for personal and business? No. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. Do you know your significant other’s passwords? No, I have no reason to. Would you like to study abroad one day? No. Does someone have a crush on you but you don’t feel the same way? Idk. Who do you feel most beautiful around? Sara. /v\ What’s one makeup item you cannot live without? I could easily live without any. Is there one thing all of your ex’s had in common? All guys. Did you french kiss before you were 16? No. Imagine your spouse just died; would you get re-married? I don't know if I would. Like... I'd never stop loving her, so "moving on" to someone else just because she's no longer physically here would feel disloyal. What’s your favorite thing about life? New, fun experiences and creating strong bonds with people like you. Who pays for the first date? Idrc, but probably whoever proposed the date? Or split the bill? Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? Yeah. Do you play any computer games, if so, what ones? Not currently 'cuz my gaming laptop has to be fixed. :| When it is and I have my own income, I might return to WoW, but I'm not sure. I think the subscription is kinda high, and I have more important things to handle. What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? Idk why I find White Chicks so goddamn funny. What lyric means the most to you? Off the very top of my head, "A bloody war behind my eyes; I'll come all right on the other side" from "Free" by Mother Mother. Really makes me think of all I've been through but how I keep coming out stronger. Who is the smartest person you know? Girt. What’s the next movie you will see in theaters? Idk. Are you adopted? No. What band do you like that most people hate? You canNOT look me in the face and say you don't like at least one Nickelback song. I don't get the hate. Any new bands that you actually enjoy? Oh idk. What is your escape from reality? RPing. Do you have any self-inflicted scars on your arms? You can only just barely see them. Do you like “scene” hair? YEAH AND I ALWAYS FUCKING WANTED IT BUT I COULD NEVER POSE IT CORRECTLY 'CUZ MY HAIR WAS TOO THICK AND HEAVY. Have your parents ever been to jail? No. If your friend asked you to hold their drugs, would you? Definitely not. Does it scare you when a relationship moves too fast? Y E A H Would you ever consider hitchhiking? I don't know if I would even in a desperate situation... I don't trust people. Have you ever hitchhiked? No. Have you ever been to a music festival? No. What color car do you want to have? Burnt orange. Would you rather hike a mountain or explore a cave? Explore a cave!!! Would you rather wear a flower crown or veil? Probably a veil? Do you believe peace on earth is attainable? I honestly don't believe so. What type of tattoo do you want? s o  m a n y What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. Would you ever live in the desert? Nooooo. Fuck the heat. Is your town beautiful? I don't really live in one, but the closest town isn't. Which season do you want to get married in? Autumn. Are totem poles cool? YEAH! Favorite art forms? Conceptual photography. What kind of music do you enjoy? Plenty sorts of metal, rock, and alternative. Do you have any gay friends? Yeah. Where is your favorite place to go? The zoo, even though I have mixed feelings about them... Do you know your dad? Yeah. How often do you get on Facebook? At least once a day. Are you related to anyone who’s in prison? Don't think so?? What concerts are you attending in the near future? Y'ALL I MIGHT FUCKING SEE OZZY IN JANUARY. He and Megadeth are coming to Charlotte and the tickets aren't too bad. :') It's a loooong drive but Mom was like "hell yeah" when I told her and wants to buy tickets after she gets her tax return AH. Metallica is a possibility too, but Mom doesn't think she can afford it. If you were kicked out of your house, where would you go first? Dad's. What are you currently looking forward to? Sara's b-day, Christmas, hopefully getting my laptop fixed, aforementioned concerts, and school. What was the reason you got grounded for last? Idk, that was a long time ago. But most likely for "talking back" to Mom. The last two people you kissed, are they virgins? Yes; probably not. Is there a guy that knows everything or mostly everything about you? Yeah. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? A bit to the left. If you could have anything delivered to your doorstep each morning, what would it be? Um,,, money?????? What is one vacation destination that many people think is just fabulous but which you personally have no desire to visit (or revisit)? New York City. Heard from my sister it's a shithole with the craziest and rudest people known to Planet Earth. I'm not big on cities, anyway. Which animated character is your all-time favorite? Uhhhhhh... Dory, maybe? If you could own a home on the shore of any body of water in the world, which waterfront would you choose? I WANT THE PINK BEACHES OF THE BAHAMAS. But I'm scared of the Bermuda Triangle so will probably never see them. :'''''') What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? MY RECOVERY. If I got through what I have, I can't ever give up and roll back down that hill. I'm focusing to always improve. If you could have any round object in the world, what spherical item would you want? t h e  g a m e s p h e r e ,  l a d s If you were left alone for one hour with nothing more than a pen and a notepad, what would you be inclined to draw or write during those 60 minutes? Practice eyes or start a poem. If you could witness anything at all in super-slow motion, what would you want to see? Hmmm... OH, maybe a big cat's tongue licking meat. See how it actually shears tiny bits off. Cats' tongues are cool. What do you forget to do more often than anything else? Take my anxiety med at the right time. If you could teach everyone in the world one skill, what would it be? Compassion. You’ve been offered the chance to paint a billboard along a highway with any message you choose, as long as it’s only 10 words long. What is your message? Oh jeez, I'd have to think too hard on this. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Did your parents do drugs when they were younger? Not to my knowledge, and I doubt they would've. Do you have any relatives who live on a different continent than you? I don't believe so. What are your religious beliefs? Were you raised with those beliefs, or did you develop them on your own? I'm a theist, entailing I believe in a creator, but I know nothing about him/her/it. I personally picture them as a peaceful and sage deity that allows life to go on without it intervening anywhere, letting the world evolve on its own and see how we adapt to our unique settings and handle life. In the end, I believe we are either given some form of paradise or a type of damnation depending on how you wrote your story. I like to imagine the good go to their personal vision of "Heaven," and I wonder if the paranormal activity some experience in life are the acts of the damned, apparently confined to remain on Earth or something. Anyway, I wasn't raised with such beliefs; they were developed. I was brought up Catholic, then I turned to just simple Christianity as I didn't agree with a lot of Catholic ideas, and most recently I abruptly turned away from that in favor of theism. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? We went out for breakfast. What has been your favorite house/apartment/etc you’ve ever lived in? My last house for location, as a house itself, my childhood one. What’s something in your house that currently needs to be cleaned? I need to vacuum my room. Do you still remember any of the dreams or nightmares you had as a child? Yup. What’s the most bizarre conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The world is donut-shaped. Yeah. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not. At. All. Who was your first crush? Did you ever actually date them? Dylan, and no. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? Who knows. Has anyone ever told you you’re manipulative? I don't think so. Do you know anyone who owns their own business? No. When was the last time you weren’t 100% sober? Uhhh maybe that movie night with Colleen and Chelsea. Is obtaining a college degree something that is important to you? Well, for my possible career future. Have you ever eaten at a vegan restaurant? No. Do you view substance abuse as a disease or a choice? I have... mixed feelings here. Starting something, that is indisputably a choice. Becoming addicted though, I'm not sure. Some people have addictive personalities so have a bigger inclination to become addicted, but isn't that just a personal trait/weakness you can fight?? I dunno. I know it's labelled as a disease by people way more informed than me though, so. What does the last text you sent say? Don't feel like checking. Does it bother you when people call you ‘ma'am’ or ‘sir?’ No. I live in the South, that's polite. Have you ever been obsessed with a television character? Does Dory count for movies? ha ha Do you ever wish you had powers of invisibility? Not really. What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Recovery. Do you have any step siblings? One. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. In which state/country were you born? NC, U.S.A. Have you ever been to an amusement park out of state? Disney World. What do you normally drink when eating at a fast food restaurant? Coke or Mountain Dew. Have the police ever been looking for you? Not because I did something wrong; I've told the beach story a few times. If you chew gum, which kind is your favorite? I love the watermelon Hubba Bubba one asjfawoeu Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah. What was the last liquid that you choked on? Water, just this morning when I was taking my meds ah. How many times did you wake up today before actually getting up? Well, I woke up once in the middle of the night like usual, then I woke up at like, 6-something and went back to sleep. Who did you celebrate your last birthday with? Mom, sises, Ash's husband and kids, and Dad stopped by. Was your last kiss initiated by you or the other person? I think it was kinda a simultaneous thing. We were saying bye. Do you buy a ton of things at the store at once or just for that day? Mom does the shopping, but it depends on how much time she has and what's at the house. When getting dressed do you put your pants or shirt on first? Pants. When you kiss a person where do your hands usually go? I actually don't know if it's a consistent thing for me??? I don't kiss anyone regularly so I don't recognize a pattern. What is one song you listen to that you’re sure not many people do? "False Flags," probs. Massive Attack is so neglected of the attention they deserve. Do you use a handrail on stairs if there is one? Yes, I'm scared of tripping. What was the last thing you saw that made you smile? Teddy came right up into my face wanting attention. What is your favorite drinking game? Never played any. Do you have any tattoos that you don’t like anymore? I think I've mentioned why I don't love my "ohana" one now. I'm getting it covered at some point. My "perfectly flawed" one is probably getting covered by a much bigger piece; I picked a bad location for it to want a sleeve. I'd just maybe redesign it, put if somewhere else. Do you have a shower curtain or door? Curtain. Who was the last person from your high school graduating class you saw? Probs Colleen? Who was the last non-relative you hung out with? Sara. Are you listening to anything right now? I'm way too obsessed with "Black Wedding" by In This Moment (feat. Rob Halford). Rob makes it, and the chorus is awesome. How many keys are on your keychain? One. Who was the last person you took a photograph with? Ryder, my nephew. Are you left handed? No. What were you most scared of when you were little? Losing my mom/being separated from her. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you painted your nails? What color(s)? I couldn't even guess. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? Thank fuck no. Have you ever overflown a bathtub? Don't think so. What’s at the top of your to-do list in life? Stay positive, never stop aiming to improve. What was the last thing you shared? Well, Thanksgiving food. Where are you most ticklish? Feet. Do not- Which cartoon character do you want to keep as a pet? Uhhhh how 'bout an Espeon. I imagine them to be calm and silently affectionate like cats and very intelligent. Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? No. When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? Getting food yesterday. Per usual, let things die down, but I still ended up crammed in a corner, unable to go in any direction while someone was trying to get past me. I was headed for an anxiety attack and felt like a total nuisance. I'm pretty sure it showed in how I was whipping my head around, shuffling in various directions, clearly wanting the fuck out. Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it? No, lyrics can't ruin a song I like the sound of. What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? A PS4, omg. I have to get my laptop fixed and a new camera, so I highly doubt I'm getting that or a tablet considering cost. I want to play the Spyro Reignited trilogy beyond words, like I refuse to even watch a let's play because I want to experience it all first-hand, but. Yeah, unlikely anytime soon. If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Noooooo. Do you like quesadillas? Only chicken and/or cheese ones. Did you like the show Invader Zim? I surprisingly never saw it. What’s the greatest/most influential song you’ve ever heard? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy always makes me wanna get off my ass and do something. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in a grocery store? A HUGE BOX OF ANIMAL HEADS IN THE MIDDLE OF WAL-MART, BECKONING THE FURRIES INTO ITS DEPTHS. Have you ever bought yourself a present on Christmas? No. Well, I've used money I've been given on Christmas, if that counts. Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? No. Do you need a key card to get into the building you live in? No. Have you ever stepped in chewing gum? Yes. Name all the people you know that you’ve seen today. Just Mom.

[waywardimpalawriter]

Someone to love part 3 of 5

  Someone to love

Summary: You’d been there the whole time. Maybe now it’s time to let Steve know what he thinks he’ll never find.

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Character’s: Steve, Reader, Natasha, Peggy, OC male (Reader’s granddad), Sam, T’Challa, Bucky, mentions of Sharon,

Setting: from Captain America the First Avenger to Civil War.

Warnings: none for now.

Notes: written for my 400 follower celebration requested by @angryschnauzer the song is Somebody to love by Queen. What was supposed to be a one shot grew into a four or more parts cause the idea just stuck with me. Hope you enjoy.

Someone tags:  @spnhybrid @iamwarrenspeace @the-doctor-called-loki

Permanent tags: @winters-buck @angryschnauzer @marvel-lucy @aquabrie @feelmyroarrrr

Marvel tags: @sebbytrash @ek823 @marvelfanfichq @creideamhgradochas

Key: Y/GF/N = your grandfather’s name

Someone to love Part 1 Part 2

Part 3: Confidant

2014 one month after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D

  Pacing, feeling like a caged animal in his apartment, even with all the floors and miles of city below him, Steve Rogers still felt like he couldn’t breathe. So much change in the last month, SHIELD falling, Hydra coming out of hiding, people he thought were friends weren’t biggest of all Bucky being alive. Yeah that one little tidbit had his mind reeling. His best friend growing up, fought alongside, lost to a fall… alive and his enemy.

Something Steve refused to believe. Even with all the evidence to back the claim, files that Natasha procured from old friends in the KGB, spread out over the coffee table. None needing to be gone over since he’s committed each and every detail to memory. Not that it’ll help any, given the fact Steve doesn’t know the first place to start looking and that’s what frustrates him the most.

A harsh knock breaking him from the thoughts running the Kentucky derby inside his mind. Checking the peep hole before unlocking and opening the door. “Hey Sam.”

“Steve,” giving the star spangled man without a plan a nod, eyes surveying the apartment much like his own down the hall of Stark turned Avenger’s tower. “It’s been a month, any word on when we’re starting our little hunt for Wile E Coyote?”

Scowling, Steve runs a hand through his hair, looking from Sam to the file. “You don’t have to come along.”

“I know,” arms crossed, leaning against the back of the couch as if he had all the time in the world. “Doesn’t mean I’m not coming with you Cap.”

“Understood,” stepping towards the kitchen, Steve turns slightly. “We’ll move out in two days. Just need to get a few things straight first.”

A grin spreads across his full lips, flashing pearly whites, “Doesn’t have anything to do with that young writer girl you’ve been talking about?”

“Y/N her name, not writer girl,” Steve tossed back heading towards the kitchen a slight grin forming on his face thinking of you. “And you’re just as bad as Natasha with butting in my love life.”

“My job as sidekick, keeping Captain America on his toes. Besides you need to get laid before you start shooting blanks and you’re too old to get it up.”

Stopping, turning to face his Winged Avenging friend, “I may be 94, but I’m not dead,” shaking his head. “First Nat tries to set me up with every woman she comes in contact with, now you’re take potshots at my soldiers. What friends I have.”

“Hey what about Sharon, if ya ain’t interesting in writer girl, maybe Agent 13 will wet your whistle,” grinning, holding his hands to the side in a shrug. “Worth a shot right?” wiggling his dark brow.

“Out,” groaning, pointing towards the door. “I have things to get ready and so do you. We leave at 05:00 day after tomorrow.”

“Don’t scare me none, remember army man here,” Sam adds while heading towards the door. He’s seen the haunted eyes Steve tries to hide. The pain written in the sky blue orbs that he’s kept bury deep within his being. Sam’s seen it all, tried to help, offering his ear many times. Though he knows Steve rather keep everything bottled up tight, everything separate and emotions in check. Though one thing Sam’s noticed over the short while he’s known Steve, is that after seeing you he seems more at easy almost a different person.

It’s the reason he picks, getting Steve to go see you before they leave on a mission that neither are sure they’ll come back from at least intact. “Piece of advice Steve,” when he looks over at Sam, he continues. “Go see her, just in case, to say whatever you need to,” after which Sam opens, steps out of and gone before Steve can say anything else.

**************

Iced tea, condensation dripping down the glass, a bunch of grapes beside your drink, laptop open, your e/c eyes staring at a blank screen as your mind is elsewhere right now. Almost three weeks have gone by since you last heard anything from Steve a rare occurrence, since that fateful day almost two years ago. Snorting at the thought of fate, pencil twirling between fingers to tap on the table keeping a steady beat to the music playing softly throughout your small apartment. Worried doesn’t even begin to cover what you’re feeling right now, your wanting to pick up your cell and call, text anything to make sure he’s alright. But you reframe, always letting him contact you in case he’s on a mission or busy with other things.

The events of last month still replying in your head, having received word from Natasha, whom you’d met a few times during your stays in DC visiting both Steve and your granddad. Becoming friends with the feisty red head who kept you in the know with how Captain America was doing. Even contact with her is sketchy at best. Though you figured it had more to do with the fact that all of SHIELD’s and there by Hydra’s secrets being dumped onto the net for all to read, compromising so many, Natasha included. Besides it wasn’t like your family or anything more than friend’s right? No matter how many times your heart pounds when seeing him, or just talking on the phone. Though you feel he’d never see you like that. In your eyes, plain and boring, to a superhero with women throwing themselves all over him.

Of course that little thought sent a pang of hurt racing across your heart, one you ignored after all it’s foolish to fall in love with Captain America. Yet you’ve never seen him as anyone other than Steve Rogers, the man who’s voice you missed hearing. Talking about different things, the 40’s, his time during World War 2, relearning how to live in a world so different than his own. Helping him acclimate and adapt, watching the cheesy, the iconic and horrible movies just so he got caught up. Listening to massive amounts of music and books, one thing you’d learned is that Steve Rogers loved to read anything he could get his hands on with a spine and paper between the covers.

The very through brought a smile to your lips and a sigh to escape knowing you’ve fell hard and fast for the man most only saw as a superhero, not a real man. Getting the feeling to pound your head into the table, you think better of such ideas instead focus on the blank Word document trying to churn out at least a few thousand words before dinner time rolled around.

However, the writing God’s weren’t on your side as a knock sounded, drawing you from the half page written, a glance in that direction, “Just a minute,” calling out, while standing, stretching your back to get some feeling in.

Bare feet padding on warm hardwood floor, you glance down at the jean capris and burgundy peasant blouse. Shrugging, you peep through the hole only to drop back against the door hand to heart. Having seen Steve standing there looking so good in a tight grey t-shirt and khaki pants, hands clasp in front of him as rocking on the balls of his feet. For a moment you’re at a loss. But why? It’s just Steve right? Of course that’s the problem it’s just Steve.

Swallowing harshly, smoothing a hand down your blouse, before taking the chain off, lock as well and opening the door bright smile lighting your features. Till your eyes come to rest on the man in question fully, seeing the shadows under his eyes, the tension in his shoulders and back.

Going for light and playful, “Bout time you show up. Thought I’d have to send the National Guard out to look for you,” you’re kidding, though there’s an undertone of worry in your voice.

“I’m sorry Y/N I would’ve call…” his words are cut short, much like his progress into your apartment, as you’ve wrapped him into your arms. One hand running the strong, hard length of his back as the other cards through the short hairs at the nape.

Relaxing into your hold, Steve returns the embrace both arms encircle your waist holding you close. “Next time you’re gonna be out of communications range solider do a girl a favor and at least send up a smoke signal so I know you’re alright.”

Breathing in the warmth of you amber perfume oil, his face burying in the crook of your neck, peace finally seems to surround him along with a sense of belonging. “Worried about me were you doll?” voice muffled as your both still wrapped around each other.

Nodding, pulling back before you lost yourself in the feel of being so surrounded by Steve that your heart gives a little flutter at the touch of his hands resting on your waist. “Hell yes I was. How would I explain to Granddad I lost an America treasure when I promised him and Peggy both I’d look after you?”

Resisting the urge to punch him, the last time didn’t go so well and left you with a hurt hand, but it’s there. Because you know something’s up, and major if the haunted look in those sweet sky blue orbs tell you anything.

Taking his hand, you both head towards the couch. “I’m no treasure Y/N.”

“You let me be the judge of that one Steve,” you smile letting his hand go, starting for the kitchen. “Hungry? Thirst?”

“No I’m good,” his answer prompt and short making you stare for a moment.

Nervous for some reason now that there’s space between the two of you, “So how long have you been back in New York City?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, looking from the coffee table that he stands next to, over to the armoire which holds you entertainment system the two of your having watch many of hours on. Finally landing on you, but not straight into your eyes. “I’ve actually been back for about two weeks.”

Shock has your jaw dropping, a pang of hurt slicing your heart, before closing and chewing on your cheek. You wonder if he’d just forgot to call, or stop by, unless it’s something more, like he’s saying goodbye this time. “I know you’re busy, but you couldn’t pick up the phone?”

“It’s not like that Y/N I’ve been busy,” he begins running a hand through his hair.

Nodding but keeping your mouth shut for a heartbeat of three. “So you didn’t think I wouldn’t worry? It’s been three weeks Steve,” voice soft, hurt as tears prick the back of your eyes.

Finally locking eyes with you, Steve swallows hard taking a step towards you. “I’m sorry to make you worry doll, truly I am.”

Wiping at your eyes, nodding slightly, knowing he wouldn’t have willfully left you in the dark. Though it still hurt, “I know you are Steve and I’m sorry to for being mad. When Nat told me what happened, and I’m thinking she left parts out because you look like hell, I got so worried about you. I almost bought a train ticket a half dozen times to DC to find out if you were okay.”

The thought of you being so worried should’ve made him feel regret and angry towards himself, yet it had the opposite. It warmed a part of him that someone would care so much about his well fair, not having felt that since before going into the ice, made Steve appreciate you all the more.

Stepping forward, taking both your hands in his, the two of you walk back towards the couch and sit down. “How much did Nat tell you?”

Puzzled, though enjoying the heat of his larger hands encompassing yours. “Just that SHIELD has been infiltrated from the inside by Hydra and now destroyed. I’d seen the news of what happened on the Triskelion,” gasping softly as realization hits you. “Steve where you on there when the helicarriers crashed?”

Looking closely, through faded now with time and the super serum in his body, you could still make out the bruises on his face. Focusing so hard till he spoke, “Yes, Sam Wilson, who you met the last time you’d came to DC, and I had to take out the carriers.”

“You’re holding something back Steven Rogers. Out with it,” demanding tone to your voice as your eyes lock once more. You didn’t want him to hold anything back from you.

“You remember me telling you about Bucky Barnes?”

“Of course he was your best friend in Brooklyn,” rubbing your thumbs over the veins on the top of his hands. “What does Bucky have to do with this?”

Watching his Adams apple bob while gathering his thoughts, “He’s alive Y/N.”

“What?”

Nodding slowly, pulling his hands from yours, as the simplest touch had become distracting for him. “Seems when he fell, he survived,” standing, starting to pace the short expanse. “Hydra found him, tortured, brainwashed him, turned Bucky into a killing machine to do their dirty work. He doesn’t remember me at least I don’t think he does.”

Watching his footsteps, the way he’s clinching his fists, jaw tense, “Steve,” when he doesn’t stop nor look up at you. You get up, putting yourself in his path way making him stop. Reaching up to brush against his cheek, “It wasn’t your fault Steve.”

Your soft words shatter his resistance and once again he’s in your arms, “I could’ve done something different, went to go look for him, put a stop to Schmidt sooner,” pulling away as if your touch, the comfort you’re giving him, burns like a lighted match against his skin. “I could’ve saved Bucky the pain and torture from all those years, if I just hadn’t asked him to join with me.”

Hands on hips you send Steve a glare that doesn’t do much since the man in question isn’t even looking at you. “Steve stop your gonna wear a hole in my floor,” this manages to get him to stop and look at you again. “What happened wasn’t your fault. You no more could’ve stopped Bucky from joining you then you can Sam or me for that matter. It was his choice to fight alongside you, no one put a gun to his head and made him march out there.”

“I never should’ve asked.”

Remembering the stories Steve told you about Bucky, how he’s always looked after him, you knew without having met the man in question, that Bucky Barnes would’ve always been there to protect his best friend. “You didn’t have to ask Steve,” you began stepping back in front of him, hands this time going to his broad shoulders. “I have a feeling Bucky would’ve followed you into hell and back with no questions asked. Not because he had to, but he wanted to.”

Seeing the resolution in your eyes, the honesty with which you spoke, Steve felt your words hit home and rest in his heart. “I have to find him Y/N, bring him home at least what’s left of him.”

Nodding, chewing your cheek, “Just don’t get killed Rogers, Granddad expects to see you in a few weeks.”

Seeing the tears shimmer in your eyes, Steve’s at a loss for words. He wanted you to say that you expected to see him not just your granddad. He wanted to know if you felt the same, as his heart beats faster in his chest wondering but would never say. Because he’s not this great Casanova, but with you it didn’t seem like he trips over his words as much. “Can’t the Avenger’s would be lost without me,” he tries to smile cupping the side of your face in one large callused palm. “You’ll be here? Visit Peggy?”

Of course it always went back to Peggy, “Always, I’ll book a ticket to DC in a few weeks to go see them both,” pushing the lump down wishing he felt the same way about you that he did about Peggy. “Be safe Rogers.”

“Always Y/N,” gathering you close in a tight embrace, he knows he can’t say what he’s thinking, not now, maybe not ever. He’s lost one to many already and he’ll be demanded if you’ll be counted among those. Therefore he bites his tongue, savoring the feel of your soft body in his arms one last time before pulling back. “I’ll see you soon.”

One nod, his lips on your forehead, warm, slightly chapped and lingering. Steve takes that moment, filing it in his memory, then pulls away without looking back at you. His mission, to find Bucky and bring him home, the foremost in his mind, no matter what his heart keeps telling him.

 Part 4

[falkenscreen]

Film Fight Club Maintain the Rage During Lockdown

From 2SER

Glen Falkenstein from FalkenScreen, Sydney filmmaker Chris Evans and freelance writer and critic Virat Nehru make up the Film Fight Club team, bringing you the latest in cinema releases every Wednesday night at 7:30pm. With the quarantine closing cinemas and new release movies grinding to a stand-still, we thought it would be a good time to catch up with the team and see how the show is adapting to suit the situation

What’s the usual format of the show?

GF: Normally we talk about new cinema releases. Sometimes we focus on a subject or talk about classic films, but the show is predominantly based around new releases and discussions of goings on in the film community in Sydney.

VN: But sometimes we completely abandon that and talk about whatever we want.

GF: We like to focus on the local Festival scene and support new initiatives.

VN: And put a spotlight on the new and emerging art scene in Sydney.

With the cinemas closed, what have you been discussing on Film Fight Club these last few episodes??

G: We’ve been covering how the industry has been adapting, new trends and initiatives in the wake of COVID-19. We’ve been watching how existing Film Festivals have moved into the online space and trying to draw attention to newly emerging online film spaces that have popped up. We’ve also asked listeners for recommendations for subjects to discuss.

CE: Just recently we’ve been focusing on Directors’ filmographies.  

VN: We can do long-form and in-depth discussions of director’s filmographies which we otherwise wouldn’t have the chance to do in our regular time slot.

CE: Nor would we have the time to watch as many movies as we do for these extended episodes.

VN: It’s a positive for the show in some ways, giving us more time to do things we otherwise wouldn’t have done.

GF: We’ve never covered pre-70’s cinema before this!

CE: And it’s something we’ve been saying we’d do for a long time, to focus on stuff we really love, instead of always talking about new movies, that half the time we’re not interested in.

CE: A Howard Hawks retrospective sprung it all off, since then we’ve looked at Peter Weir, Tim Burton and Billy Wilder.

GF: We’re also looking at some of the classics available on streaming platforms, and we plan to cover their new films as well.

CE: SBS gave us a nice focus on 70’s films, so that got us to.

VN: We just stole their idea.

How have you been recording the show in isolation?

CE: We’re all using the magic of Zoom meetings and the record button.

GF: We’re getting so much feedback, now! We’re getting feedback from each other!

VN: We used to get none. Now we finally launched our social media page, and we talk over dodgy connections, so we’re getting feedback on two fronts!

GF: It’s nice that we can see each other’s faces. It adds a lot to the ability to communicate.

VN: We can see each other’s attempts to be funny.

CE: And it’s nice to be able to do hand signals.

GF: Until the screen freezes. We try.

Has it been challenging to adapt the show for home recording rather than all together at the studio?

GF:  Finding the right platform was tough at first, until we settled on Zoom.

CE: Like everyone else seems to have, and like everyone else, NBN slow downs have been the big limitation we’ve been dealing with.

GF: I for the first time have a relatively regular home audience. My roommates can hear what I’m saying and get a sneak peek of the show.

VN: They realise you’re a crazy cinephile.

CE: It’s also changed the show – we’ve done long episodes in the past, but now we’ve entered the truly self-indulgent stage, where episodes are usually 3 hours.

VN: I feel like the lack of time constraints means that it’s a lot more free flowing, and we’re more accomodating of each other than we otherwise would be.

CE: Don’t get me wrong, I definitely prefer the energy of recording in person, but in some ways the show is better now.

VN: The three hours feels like the perfect amount of time, to talk about all the things we want to say. When we’re planning the show, we always think, ‘this will just take five minutes, we have nothing to say about this,’ but then we start talking and it turns out we have a lot of opinions.

GF: Also, while I do prefer recording in person, the logistics between travel and set-up that are reduced by this format…

CE: Travel time is more speaking time.

VN: Getting from the office to the studio on time is a nightmare.

GF:  With the extra capacity we have space for more detail and analysis per episode, and we have more energy.

VN: But less Red Bull. That’s an upside or a downside, depending on perspective.

CE: I’ve become more reliant on caffeine under quarantine, weirdly enough. Maybe because I can’t go out to do stuff to pep me up.

V: I miss the pre-recording 7/11 ritual. That was nice.

CE: Yeah, I do too.

VN: But I don’t miss coming from bloody Barangaroo to the station in peak hour traffic.

GF: We can go late if we want to, because the bed’s right there.

VN: That’s the biggest benefit. Letting the episodes go as long as they want isn’t a strain.

CE: And we can start at 7:30 in the morning, for example, something we’d only do during Sydney Film Festival.

GF: I do miss the energy of doing live episodes, which has an energy and slight adrenaline to it that changes the nature of discussion. I think it’s still very active.

CE: It will be nice to go back and do live again.

VN: Just for the thrill of it and the danger. Touching other things that other people have touched.

What have been your own isolation watching habits? Re-watching old favourites? Getting to things you have been meaning to?

GF: The nature of what’s going on has changed the nature of the films I usually watch. Its not just that I wouldn’t watch movies like ‘Contagion,’ about disasters. I’m more inclined to watch happier, upbeat films.

CE: I’ve been watching a lot of light comedies as well actually.

VN: The Tim Burton re-watch really drew attention to the pleasures of an easy watch. We could breeze through his whole filmography really easily. There’s no strain.

GF: It’s not just what the listeners want, but also what we want right now. I’m so good for it.

VN: I think that applies to a lot of people. I don’t think we want heavy cinema at the moment. I don’t want to be intellectually engaged.

GF: I don’t mind being light right now. I just don’t need heavy.

VN: Everything is such an emotional burden already that you don’t want to add to that with heavy cinema.

CE: Although, something that’s so heavy that you’re drawn in, like ‘Chinatown,’ I found to be a really good distraction. Or ‘The Conversation.’ Something that’s really involving.

VN: I wouldn’t call that heavy – just something that’s so immersive that I can forget my environment.

GF: On that note, I saw ‘Wake in Fright’ for the first time, and I was stoked.

CE: Being quarantined with family has meant lots of re-watches, because I’m being asked for recommendations.

VN: Yeah, same. My dad has been drawn into watching foreign cinema now!

CE: I’ve actually done more re-watches than I usually do.

VN: I’ve had the time to re-watch a lot of Festival films. During that run, they used to melt together in your brain into one marathon film.

CE: And they deserve more space.

VN: Re-watching critically appraised films, like ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire,’ ‘Synonyms,’ ‘Uncut Gems,’ has solidified them into great films, now that I’ve had the time to appreciate them, giving them the space they deserve.

Whats been the highlights of your lockdown viewing?

GF: Mostly the 40’s, 50’s films we’ve been covering. Also, Saturday night I have two viewing sessions. My sixth session is coming around. Early Saturday night, get together with a few friends on Zoom and watching trashy, dumb , mindless movies, then later in the evening with other friends I watch a happy, sweet movie, like a musical. We’re hoping to keep this going for quite a while.

VN: I really enjoyed revisiting the Bond films. Also seeing ‘Master and Commander.’

CE: I really loved watching ‘The Conversation’ and ‘Chinatown.’

GF:  ‘Master and Commander’ and ‘Sleepy Hollow.’ Reminded me of how much I enjoyed first seeing them, and they drew me into their worlds.

CE: We’re all looking forward to re-watching Billy Wilder films for our next episode now.

Anything you wish you hadn’t watched?

GF: I’m glad I haven’t re-watched ‘Contagion,’ as everyone’s been urging me to. Maybe ‘Tiptoes.’

CE: A film with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Beckinsale.

VN: I’m in, you just had to say

GF: That’s what I thought. But… terrible.

What’s the first rule of Film Fight Club?

GF: We had rules and we ditched them.

CE: Like and subscribe. On Twitter and Facebook. Subscribe on iTunes, Spotify, anywhere good podcasts are found! The second rule is pick a fight with us, via the aforementioned channels.

[sandalwoodandjasmine]

Oneiricjourney does the Ask Game - Iskatoni

1. Who's the one who's reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out

Easy. Toni. Iska doesn’t get into trouble. He has an evil mind with lots of mischievous ideas, but he always makes his partner in crime actually do the stuff.

 2. Who's the one to send the other "I love my gf/bf" memes

Toni. Iska doesn’t send memes.

 3. Who's the one who listens to a music genre the other doesn't like and how does the other react

Probably Toni. Though I’m not sure how much Toni is into Hindi movie songs? How Iska reacts? He’ll just roll his eyes and leave the room.

 4. Which one spoils the other more and do they ever get competitive to show the other more love

Depends. Toni’s more the guy for the “grand acts” – crazy, mad shows of love for birthdays, anniversaries etc. That’s not Iska’s style. Iska does small things. Put way Toni’s stuff. Fold his clothes. Cook food for him. Buy him clothes (that one is not totally self-less). They spoil each other basically, but there is no competition at all.

 5. How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them

If I get it right in my head, 3 or so.

 6. What was their wedding like

Oh wow, that’s a big question. I should write that out. I should think more about that. But probaby… big and crazy. Iska would not get married without the entire family there. So that would be big… and this family would not let their doted-on son get married without it being lavish… they are rich after all. And crazy? Count on Azadi to have all kinds of stuff in mind, many crazy ideas… there’ll be lots of music and dancing, and embarrassing childhood stories about Iska.

 7. Is their friends/family supportive

YES OF COURSE. Iska’s relatives decide that Toni is part of the fam some… 10 seconds after getting to know him. He said “namaste” and folded his hands (Iska told him to do that), and they all collectively fell in love with him & thought he was the cutest guy ever.

 8. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying

Toni hugs Iska, reminds him to breath, times their breathes. Iska initially goes for should squeezes and touching the small of the back. He speaks in a soft and reassuring voice. If it’s a panic attack or crying, he hugs and pets Toni’s hair, whispers “It’s ok” in his ear in a really soothing voice.

 9. Which one dissociates

Iska; Toni has learnt all kinds of ways to comfort him then and prevent the disassociation from getting worse, help him snap back into reality.

 10. Which one stares at the other's booty like "damn" and how does the other react when catching them

Toni. Iska rolls his eyes and shakes his head when he catches him. Iska doesn’t stare. Unless they are in the bedroom. Then he stares lots. I think Toni would smile and gloat.

 11. When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like?

Judging on what kind of job I see them having (at least Iska), I’d say they have an apartment on the Citadel. Nothing like Anderson’s apartment however. Not that… sleek and minimalist. Iska likes cozy, and he likes “oriental”. He’s a homemaker, so there’d be a lot of loving detail put to every room, lots of warm colours, wood, carpets, cushions. But nothing gaudy or kitschy, but all put together with a lot of elegance and a distinct taste; it has a very regal Indian palace feel to it. Apart from that, Iska would insist on retaining the family home in South Delhi, a rather large city mansion with a garden. A lot like what spire described ;)

 12. What do their dates look like

Lots of teasing and laughing. Holding hands. Being very much in love.

 13. How does each act when getting drunk

Toni apparently takes half-naked selfies in the shower. Iska doesn’t drink. He got drunk once involuntarily during their first vacation together, when they were not yet an item. Iska got very touchy and sentimental, very clingy. Spilling the beans. Let’s see where it leads them, this story is still in progress! Kind keeping my fingers crossed and rooting for them.

 14. Which one rolls over in the morning to wake up the other one just to give kiss them

Iska. He loves kissing and making out in the morning and doesn’t even care that they are smelly and have bad breaths. It’s the one exception to his neatness spleen.

 15. Have they saved each other's lives before

Plenty of times I’m sure.

 16. Does one have an interest the other think is weird but wants to listen to it regardless

Iska has a weird interest in old Hindi movies. Toni will listen to him going on and on about them anyway, will even indulge him and watch them with him. Probably sleeping through the second half, but Iska doesn’t mind so much.

 17. Which one uses cropped hentai as reaction images

Iska doesn’t even know what hentai is. Toni might use such an image, even cropped, once. He’ll never use it again, not with Iska.

 18. Does one of them kinkshame the other

We need to talk about whether they have kinks first, haha.

 19. Is one of them self conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them

No. Iska used to be a bit embarrassed about his body as a teenager, especially after his biotics showed and his biotic metabolism kicked in. Got even thinner and longer then. But especially through N7 training, he got very confident in his skill and grew comfortable with his body. He managed to become a vanguard not through the merit of brawn, but sheer agility and speed. He’s not felt self-conscious since.

 20. Say they were cuddling on the bed while listening to record player playing the background. Which song is playing?

Haha, whatever music Toni put on I suppose.

 21. What is their song? Like the song that gives them overwhelming feelings?

Ohhhhhh, that’s a big question. We need to discuss this!

 22. What song do they listen to while going on a joyride

Most of the time, Iska lets Toni decide. He doesn’t mind so much, he’s very adaptable and likes to listen to all kinds of music.

 23. What kinda joyrides do they go on? Relaxing ones or wild ones?

Toni says relaxing, Iska says wild.

 24. Where would they vacation for a honeymoon

India. No doubt about that.

 25. Do people ever get annoyed of their pda

No PDA. Makes Iska uncomfortable. When they are together off duty, Iska might allow very tame shows off affection, like holding hands or brushing hands, or lightly touching the other.

 26. Would they live in the city or the country

See above.

 27. Which ones the red which ones the blue

Haha. Shepard is red, Kaidan is blue. But somehow I see Iska as blue and Toni as red. Weird…

 28. Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope

Well, Toni suffers from PTSD. Iska tries to help him calm down and ground him in reality. He’ll make sure Toni has the space to deal with it (refusing to take him on missions, dismissing him from duty for a bit), and tries to be with him, show him his husband is there for him. Iska is not mentally ill. Lots of mindfucks, but no mental illness per se. Especially in HS TL, he learns to grow more self-confident and less critical of himself and becomes a very happy, balanced, self-confident individual.

 29. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there

Iska neck, Toni spine :)

 30. Do they dance together

Iska loves to dance. Lots. Play some Indian music, he’s one of the first on the dance floor. Always trying to get Toni to join him. Rarely succeeds. Toni had to dance at their wedding. Cutest thing ever.

 31. Do they sing together

Toni doesn’t sing, Iska loves to sing. Sings to JJ, sings for the twins (OT3 TL), or just when he cooks and does his household chores.

 32. Which one is better at cooking than the other and makes most the dinners

Iska. No doubt about that :)

 34. Are they a reckless couple or safe

100% safe

 35. What be they kinks and do they try each other's kinks

See 18

 36. What would their valentines gifts be to each other

As I said above, Iska is not a person for grand gestures. He’d try to take a day off, or at least schedule as much time as possible for Toni. Make sure the kids are taken care off and out of the house. Spend a day together, doing whatever they feel like, for once not bogged down by work and millions of tasks.

37. Do they get into fights often? If so what do they fight over and how do they make up?

I think their most common fight is over whether or not Toni should sleep on the couch. Toni insists he should when he feels he’s wronged Iska, Iska will have none of it. They will both get stubborn; Iska gets caustic, cool and distanced, will brush of Toni. But eventually they both realise how ridiculous they are acting, and more likely than not, it’s Iska who comes to Toni and will be like “Jaan, please xxx”

 38. Which ones top, bottom, verse

Iska prefers oral over anal sex. He has a slight preference for bottoming, but they take turns really.

 39. What kinda sex they be having (gentle rough whatever)

Gentle. When Iska’s not in the mood for gentle, he’s not in the mood for sex.

 40. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them

Toni, lol. Iska doesn’t believe that fighting is a good way to solve conflicts if there is another, more peaceful way to do so.

 41. Which one has a favorite movie that they have the other watch with them again and again

Iska. Poor Toni…

 42. How would one react if the other was to die

If Toni was to die, Iska’s reaction would depend on the circumstances of Toni’s death/the timeline. If Toni died before they got together, Iska would internalise his grief, could not ask for help, because he doesn’t acknowledge that he is grieving at all. He’d probably set himself on a path of rigid discipline, self-punishment, unhappiness and eventual self-destruction. If they were together, preferably married, he would realise that he is grieving and would allow himself to do so; people would realise he’s grieving and he’d get the support he needs. That would enable him to heal eventually. He’d never be ok again, not fully, but he’d heal enough to function and live a good life.

 43. Who dies first

Depends on the timeline, haha.

 44. Do they want kids

Yes, Iska wants them. They have them. How many… depends on timeline ;)

 45. How would they spend their last moments together

Uhm, depends on the circumstances? Do they have some time left, but are aware that they are about to die? Well, Iska would just want to sit down with Toni, lean into him, have Toni’s hands wrapped around him. He’d thank Toni for everything, for being in his life, for choosing to spend his life with him, for helping him become the person he is.