#my life is meaningless without you

[mistylacrimosa]

So AO3 is down again and I didn't get to download stuff after the last crisis two days ago so I am here again to scream into the void.

[nikolai-alexi]

YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS IS COMPLETE AND I GENUINELY DONT KNOW EHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE SNTMORE THAT FIC IS MY LIFELINE

[aizawashuichi]

it's wild that i cannot think about only Ayla or only Ethe. it's always Ayla and Ethe. they are joined at the hip, i fear, also because ethe's life would be meaningless without her. she said that herself so,,,

Ayla's eyes widened as she saw it [a beautiful handmade wand with a star on top and orange tulle strips] and, leaving my hand, she lunged at it. Watari chuckled as he handed it to her. Ayla turned to show it to me, but I could not take my eyes off her face, which shone of its own light and illuminated everything around her. She looked like the Sun, and I felt like a planet in her system, which could only hope to orbit her until the end of her days. I longed to capture that moment, to grab a camera and take a picture of her, even though I understood that nothing could ever encapsulate all that Ayla represented. Only my retina and my memory could do that and, as I had continuously done since I had first met her, I carefully observed her sparkling eyes, her harmonious smile, her perfect dimples, the way her braids danced every time she moved her head and how she made purple a perfect colour, even though she had decided it was her personal mission to destroy it. It was no mystery how she had done it, because it wasn't the purple that added to her, it was she who added a new sense of existence to it – to everything and everyone. 

[luxeberries]

i think about bo burnham saying 'if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it' at least once a day

[tenderizedjestersteak]

LOVE your star wars work immensely your characterization is immaculate and such a joy to read

thank you very much! I had a lot of fun writing the fics I wrote and I hope to have just as much fun writing in the future :]

[zemnarihah]

also we got chinese food the other day and they gave us fortune cookies but the fortunes were all shit like "a tree stands taller when the bushes are trimmed" and had had manscaped.com on the back i think that should be like. illegal im not joking

[thescarecrane]

tag drop xo

[yeslordmyking]

Proverbs 10:21 — Today's Verse for Wednesday, March 19, 2025

[onrainynights]

🕯️manifesting my promotion🕯️

[the-one-and-only-overlass]

worst yet very accurate way to describe my favorite oc: like if patrick bateman was a teenage communist with no sense of self-preservation

[wanderingpeonies]

why is my brain . like this

[ur-cute-so-i]

The most important professions in the world are barista and janitor. The world wouldn't last a day without them, and I personally would fall to pieces

[world-of-carnage]

doing both of the things that suck me into hyperfixations in an attempt to duel wield them wish me luck

[dnangelic]

bitterly , he obeys --- his lips tightly shut and twist , his hands balling into clenched fists at his sides as his stare pierces through the other . each lament and despair feels like the heavy slam of an iron mace ; ritsuka staggers away , broken-legged , while the thief's own hollow heart bruises and aches .

why couldn't ritsuka understand ? what would it take to get him to understand ? that sometimes suffering was just suffering , that its so-called meaninglessness was a symptom rather than its own sole hurt , and that what others could call "natural" wasn't always right . the pace of his breaths quickens , and his heart slams against its heavy , shut doors . his own voice , be it out of a simmering fury or tapering shock , trembles a little . ' is that all --- ? ' grit , grimace . ' you're trying to make yourself an exception even though you just called yourself ordinary ? in a place like this ? in a place where even i exist ? ' here , in chaldea , the saints and devils and martyrs . the mortal and immortal , the ancient and the unborn , newborn , never-born ; the simple , the incomprehensible , the hideous and the beautiful , and at every center , the mundane master meant to experience and guide their stories anew . like this , ritsuka had always been a necessity , and beyond even that , a friend . a desire .

how could the other not have mattered ?

' even those emotions , ' no matter just how ugly , ' become undeniable proof that you're here . do you really think you've never suffered even as you're forcing yourself to suffer right now ? when did trying to help others turn into giving yourself up along with it ? ' a kindness rotting out from the inside --- he plucks it , tosses its rind elsewhere and out of his thoughts . ' if you want to keep lying to me and yourself , then fine . do whatever you want . but the reality is , there isn't a single thing in this world that's born with any sort of meaning . that goes for you and me both . '

eternity was eternity . suffering was just suffering . humans were only just human , and things were just things . ' ... the only thing that can change that is someone's heart and feelings . if mine aren't enough for you , ' for just a moment , his expression contorts with a deep and intense hurt , ' then there's nothing i can do . '

ㅤㅤFOR a split second, Ritsuka's expression had faltered, his mask slipping and what was revealed was his desperate, pathetic expression as Dark had forcefully torn the two apart, rejecting the master's tender illusion with the intent to smash that glass wall into pieces.

ㅤㅤHe stumbled back, prepared to accept the loss of their shared warmth and go about as normal but Dark had caught him, forcing Ritsuka to confront the reality of his words.

ㅤㅤAn overwhelming sense of dread suddenly consumed him and a sinking feeling twisted in his gut. His breaths quickened, pounding in his chest. He couldn't breathe. He felt like he was about to break down. He felt like he was about to die from the anxiety of being so exposed and so laid utterly bare before one of the many people he desperately didn't want to be perceived by.

ㅤㅤCornered, Ritsuka found himself rejecting the other in kind, teeth gritting and harshly ripping Dark's hand away from his side, eyes ablaze with anguished tears.

ㅤㅤ" Shut the hell up !!! "

ㅤㅤAh, there it was. His true self.

ㅤㅤ" I told you I was fine, wasn't I ?! " His voice was breaking, nearly on the verge of transforming into sobs. " I get it ... I get it ! I'm ... a coward ! I'm nothing but a hypocrite ! I have no good reason why I should feel the way I do but ... I can't help it ! But that's why ... there's no point in saying any of this when my stupid, meaningless insecurities are worth nothing in the grand scheme of things ! " He staggered backwards, clutching at one side of his face as he desperately fought the urge to break down. Even with all these words spilling out, there was still so much he had left unsaid. " Why should I say anything when there's so many people who've suffered far worse than me ... ? At the very least, if I help them ... I can be of some use, can't I ? " Even now, he still had the audacity to wear a smile on his lips, no matter how desperate and broken it appeared. " ... So what does it matter ? Why does it even matter to you ? I came from a place where I didn't know what it was like to suffer at all so isn't it only natural I keep my mouth ? To hold it all in and pretend it's all okay because ... it doesn't matter. In the end, Fujimaru Ritsuka has always been an ordinary person, barely clinging onto an identity that can only exist because of the people around him. In the end, am I really here ? "

[yeslordmyking]

Proverbs 21:30 — Today's Verse for Wednesday, January 1, 2025

[pissnvinegarchips]

This ask got me blocked lmfao. My first and only interaction with this dude. I know I'm not the most well spoken, but I had to say something. I gave it a few days until I checked as well, assuming he hadn't replied because he was just busy having a life (lol)

This pocket deer boy asswipe isn't interested in hearing from trans men that disagree with him on his opinion on OUR own issues and lived experiences. He's only interested in being a transandrophobic freak, and socializing with trans people that enable him to wave his hate boner around proudly.

Fuck you to all the trans people that are validating him. How dare you speak over trans men discussing the discrimination we face? Trans men have enough fucking problems without our own community encouraging cis people to speak on OUR FUCKING ISSUES.

Trans men don't benefit from the patriarchy. I was trying to be as charitable to his arguments as possible in my ask by giving a perfect situation in which a trans man could potentially benefit from the patriarchy in a very shallow and meaningless way.

"Passing" privilege is only skin deep. As soon as a "passing" trans man/masc needs reproductive care, or we get outed, or we go to prison, or we need our OWN COMMUNITY to take our word on our OWN OPPRESSION over the words of the nearest cis guy that hates us almost as much as the trans community as a whole hates us, we're completely fucked.