#my problem was wanting to be able to write 5000 words every two days

[aiura-stan]

something I didn't realize before I wrote Breaking Fate is truly how much you can write in a couple of months if you write a couple hundred words per day.

You can have a 15k fic done in a month if you just write 500 words per day.

In a little over three months, you can have a 50,000 word longfic. If you wanna be ambitious and write 1,000 words a day, it'll take you half that time.

If you just wanna get a 5000 word longfic out but only have like 15 minutes once a week, well, it will take you a little under five months, but then you'll be done.

And if you only write 250 words once a week, well, it may take you four years, but by then, you will have your 50,000 word novel that you almost certainly wouldn't have had if you didn't make the plan.

and the time will pass anyways. You can have something to show for it. that's amazing to me

[kitysugar]

daddy please ~ daddy/dom gojo x sub! reader

since the beginning of your relationship with gojo, he's known something was off about your sex life. the distant look in your pleasure filled eyes whenever he would talk to you a certain way in bed, the way you spoke to him while he was fucking you deep into the mattress, the way you acted- it was all something he knew of and had suspicions about, but didn't want to speak on it until you were either comfortable enough to share it with him, or it slipped out. lucky for you, he had the same problem on the opposite side of the scale

Word count: 5000

Daddy/dom! gojo x Sub! reader. sub + dom headspace / dynamic. sweet talk, choking, soft to rough sex, fingering, oral sex, overstimulation, orgasm control, daddy kink, humiliation, heavy cnc, heavy breeding, degradation, praise

DISCLAIMER: this work shows slices of subspace as well as domspace. Sub/domspace is NOT pedophilia, and the usage of the nicknames "daddy" among others' will in fact be used. if you're confused as to what sub/domspace is; google is free. if you haven't read my rules, I highly suggest you do, because I do in fact write about deep, hard kinks and smut. any and all hate will automatically lead you to my block list. other than that; enjoy - phoebe ♡

Gojo knew something was off with you when the two of you first started dating. the way you act, talk, and hold yourself gives him suspicions, not bad ones, of course, just ones of confusion. Don't get him wrong, he absolutely loves taking care of you; financially, physically, and especially when you're having sex. that's when you're the most odd. its like you're entire demeanor shifts; giving gojo every peace of you to protect, being able to go absolutely braindead as he takes care of you in all the ways mentioned. the foundation of your relationship is built on trust, which is what you have given gojo in total.

here you were, standing in the middle of your room in the cutest outfit he picked out for you a couple days ago while shopping. a cute little skirt and lacy top, adorned by the most precious white lace stockings that stop right below your mid-thigh. you look into the mirror, twirling your skirt as you giggle to yourself.

you're not really one for skirts, but this one makes you feel good about yourself. you don't dress up in these types of clothes this often; preferring to wear gojo's clothes instead, especially since you spend most of your time inside the house, lounging around participating in all your little hobbies, or with gojo himself whenever you want to go out for the day. you don't go anywhere without him. he takes care of you and loves you, and you get to be the pretty little housewife that receprocates that love. that life is perfect for you, especially since as of recently, you've found yourself at home a lot more often than normal because of his line of work, but you can't complain because most nights, he's coming home to you, and that's all you care about.

"y/n, baby come here, lunch is ready" you hear gojo's voice call from the other room. today is his day off, so he decided to make you lunch to show you how much he appreciates you cooking three meals a day for him, every day. you trot into the kitchen, gojo's lean and tall figure hovering over the stove as he cooks you your favorite lunch.

you walk over to him and hug him from behind, your arms wrapping around his waist as you kiss his back.

"thank you for cooking for me, you really didn't have to" you say to him, squeezing his body in your hold with another kiss to his back. He lovingly snickers at your words, turning around in your arms. he cups the side of your face, a couple of his fingers in your hair, his thumb on your jaw as he looks into your eyes.

"hush, I don't mind. you take care of me just as much as I take care of you, let me do this." he says, kissing your forehead, then your lips before turning back around to gather your food onto a plate and walk over to the dining room table, setting your plate down for you as you happily walk over and sit next to him, eating your food with the silent comfort looming over the table as you face your boyfriend.

gojo notices your outfit, looking at you in wonder and admiration. He smiles at you as you do to sit down, smiling back at your boyfriend.

"that outfit looks very pretty on you baby, I knew it would" he smiles at himself this time, a proud look on his face as he juts his nose in the air. you laugh at him and roll your eyes, shaking your head eating the yummy lunch he's made you.

After eating, gojo finds himself taking a shower to freshen himself up as you sit in the middle of your shared bed, scrolling back and fourth through Pinterest and a few online shopping apps on your phone. checking the time, its around 5:00 now, so you huff and get up off the bed, walking over to your closet and pulling out a couple pairs of pajama shorts and a cute little top.

you start taking off your clothes, starting with your skirt and top, but to your dismay, your bedroom door opens. You squeal and cover yourself with your hands, only to realize its gojo and his appearance makes you want to fall to your knees.

A towel wrapped around his waist, another in one of his big hands, towel trying his hair. small drops of water drip off of his hair and down his chest and abs, your face heating up as you dart your eyes anywhere but him because you're nervous you might actually drop to your knees.

"hi baby- oh?" he takes note of your appearance; cute pink lacy panties and bra, white lace stockings going up your thighs you have yet to take off. gojo eye fucks you from the doorway, a small smirk gracing his lips as you squirm under his gaze. your arms are still hiding your body from him, but he can still see nonetheless.

"I was- changing.." your voice trails off and you look down at yourself, then back up to gojo, your cheeks still slightly pink. He smiles at you and walks over to stand in front of you. he tosses the towel into the dirty clothes hamper and places two of his hands on your wrists.

"let me see" his command is soft, making you almost float away. he pulls your hands down to reveal yourself to him fully, your pretty nipples showing through the thin cloth of your baby pink bra. your hands fall to your sides as gojo lets them go, one of his hands coming to wrap around your waist, the other gently using his index finger to lightly brush over your nipple, a very silent whine forcing its way out of the back of your throat.

He uses his finger a couple more times to brush against the soft skin of your breast before letting your body go, walking backwards to sit on the edge of the bed. he leans backwards onto one of his palms of his hands holding him up as he pats his lap with the other, his legs spread and inviting you in.

"come here sweetheart." you listen, shyly walking over to stand in-between his legs, looking down into his lap. his hand comes to stroke your hair, cupping the side of your face, his thumb dragging down to your bottom lip, caressing the plump skin. his thumb grips your chin, gently forcing your face up to look at his, your doe eyes round and big as you look into his eyes, making him want to fuck you dumb.

"can- can I please, hmmm-" you cut yourself off, suddenly too shy to say anything to him. Satoru tilts his head to the side, wonder written on his face as you stare at each other.

"use your words, pretty girl" you gulp, nervous to tell him what you want, but you do so anyways much to your objection.

"can- can I make you feel good.. please.." your hands fidget with the towel he's wearing around his waist, whining out your question. gojo shifts in his spot, smiling at you proudly.

"of course you can baby, such a good girl for asking so politely" your chest fills with love at his compliment, fingers still fidgeting with the towel. you move to start taking the towel off of him, revealing his half-hard cock.

gojo's hand leaves your face as you slowly sink to your knees, coming face to face with his dick. you grab the base of him, tightening your fist around his length, slowly pumping. his moan is raspy and deep, his abs still a little damp from his drying hair. you pump him a couple more times before kitten licking his tip and swirling your tongue. his free hand comes to stroke and carress your head.

you put his tip into your mouth and hollow out your cheeks sucking softly, humming at his familiar taste. one of his hands comes up and finds its way to the back of your head as he ushers you to take him deeper, so that's exactly what you do. you start bobbing your head up and down his length, your tongue rubbing on the under side of his cock, your cheeks still hollow.

a string of curses leave his mouth, throwing his head back as you take him so pretty. your eyes are up, watching all the thigh-clasping reactions he gives you.

"s-so good, you- you're so fuckin' good baby" his hips grind into your mouth, making you choke slightly, but neither of you care. your tough swirls around his cock, feeling him grow completely in your mouth.

you take him out of your mouth, and gojo looks down at you in confusion. you make eye contact with him as you stick your tongue out, letting your saliva drip off your tongue straight down onto the tip of his dick, making its way down to his balls.

gojo sucks in a breath at your actions, wishing he could take a polaroid of you in this exact moment its driving him so fucking mad how sexy you look. He grips a handful of your hair, forcing you to stand up with a yelp dripping off your lips. he sits up, using both of his hands to spin you around so you're back is facing him.

he pulls you into his lap, your back flush against his front as he scoots the two of you back farther into the bed. his still-hard cock pressing up against your back, but he doest care, all he wants to do is make you feel good.

"t-toru" you question as he uses his hands to spread your legs, one hand resting on your inner thigh as the other comes around to your throat, holding you in place. his face is right next to your ear, his breath fanning you.

"don't squirm around, 'kay love?" is all he says before the hand that was resting on your thigh comes to your heat, pulling your panties to the side. his middle and ring fingers press against your clit, massaging gentle circles on your bundle of nerves. you let out a whimper, signaling for him to continue.

satoru kisses up your neck, his hand coming down to fondle with one of your breasts underneath your bra, pinching and pulling your hard nipple, earning yet another sinful moan to drag out of your mouth.

his fingers work their magic, your wetness increasing to dampen your panties as well as his fingers. you turn your head to the side, burring your face into your boyfriends neck muffling your pretty sounds right into his skin.

you jut your hips forward into his hand, and gojo takes this opportunity to slide one of his long fingers inside your tight cunt, earning yet another moan from you.

his thumb moves to replace his index finger on your clit, fingering you.

"I said, dont squirm around, love" you nod your head, trying your best not to grind into his hand. he slides another finger into you, pressing his fingers upwards just enough for him graze your sweet spot instantly.

the moan you let out is louder than normal, telling him he hit the right spot. of course he knows that, he knows your body like the back of his hand.

his digits pump inside you, wet squelching sounds coming from just below you as his fingers graze your sweet spot repeatedly. your hands fly up to grab onto satoru's biceps, digging your nails gently into his arms.

his fingers pick up pace, rutting inside you fast, the wet sounds coming from your pussy getting louder. you dig your heels into the mattress below you, pushing yourself farther into satorus chest, your head shaking from side to side.

gojo can tell you're close, so he lifts his head up to your ear and whispers

"you close sweet girl?" he asks and you nod your head.

"y-yes dadd-" your body instantly freezes as does satoru's, stopping himself from fingering you further. his ears perking up at your words.

"sweetheart?"

"no, no no no" you shake your head, embarrassment filling your entire body as you try and get away from your lover, but his fingers exit your hole, his arms wrapping around your waist, turning you around to face him instead.

he grabs your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him, but you divert your gaze onto anything else- not wanting to face the man in front of you.

"baby look at me" you shake your head with an embarrassing whine.

"honey, look at me please" much to your avail; you look at him.

"im- im sorry I didn't mean to-" he interrupts your sentence, shooting you a loving smile.

"sweetheart, its okay for you to call me that. you don't have to hide yourself from me, okay? I love you so very much" you shake your head, not believing his words.

"it- its so embarrassing." you're face turns even redder at his words. he shakes his head at you.

"oh baby, its not embarrassing in the slightest. there is no need for you to feel embarrassed my love" he pauses, kissing your pouty lips before continuing

"no need to be so shy in front of me, let daddy take care of you" now its your turn for your ears to perk up, your eyes getting wider at his words.

"I- I love you too..." you speak softly. gojo shoots you a soft smile, his lips find yours once more. picking up where you left off, this time more gentle; he moves his body to where his hands can slide down your waist, pushing you back against the mattress, his body hovers over yours as his hand retakes its place, coming down to slide under the hem of your underwear, his fingers instantly finding your clit.

you groan into his mouth, grinding your hips forward into his palm. he pinches and rubs your clit before sliding two fingers into your sopping wet hole, once again finding your sweet spot as small, while your hushed whimpers echo off the walls of satoru's skull

satoru breaks the kiss, moving towards your neck to leave deep purple bruises on your skin. your breathing is heavy as he plays with you.

his lips make their way down to the center of your breasts, using his teeth to bite the material and slide it up and over your boobs before gently licking your nipple. you whimper at his actions, still grinding into his hand as yours find their way to his white locks, gripping his hair as he sucks on your hardened bud. he lets go with a wet 'pop' and kisses down towards your stomach, getting onto his as he makes his way down.

he's now face to face with your pussy. while he takes his fingers out of you; you "hmph" in protest.

"shhh, angel. daddy's gonna make you feel even better" he says as he hooks two fingers into your underwear, pulling them down below your ankles and throwing them into the dirty clothes hamper, you lifting your hips to help him.

he spreads your pussy lips apart with two of his fingers, blowing cold air into you. you whine at his teasing as he does it again and again. satoru eventually darts his tongue out, licking a dot onto your bundle muscles. you attempt to grind your hips closer to his face, but one of his hands come up to your abdomen, pushing your hips down onto the mattress, keeping it there.

"don't move."

you obey. he darts his tongue out again, this time licking a strip up the slit of your cunt. he does this a couple more times before his lips eventually wrap around your clit, sucking gently.

your moans pick up volume the more he eats you out. your fingers lace into the bedsheets, grounding you from floating too far out of your body, but it happens anyways, instantly slipping.

his teeth drag against your clit before his tongue laps at you, your pussy beyond drenched now, but neither of you seem to care as he feasts on you like a starved man. his sucking gets harsher as his free hand slips two fingers into you, slowly pumping in and out of you.

the sounds of pussy eating and moans echo off the walls of gojo's house, good thing you live pretty far away from other people- or you would be screwed, because you're so loud.

so fucking loud as satoru fucks you with his fingers and tongue.

he's working fast, lapping at your cunt in quick, steady strokes. your entire body goes limp, and your moaning turns to babbling sobs, not a thought in your skull as you feel the knot in your tummy quickly unravel.

Gojo's crystal eyes look up at you once he senses your change of vocals. his mouth detaches from your clit and he hovers over your figure, his fingers still working inside you, his rhythm never faltering. the hand on your abdomen comes up to cup your cheek, looking deeply into your fucked out eyes, he speaks gently

"you gonna cum, little one?" he asks, his fingers never slowing down. you nod your head with a small, barley audible whimper.

"hold it." you shake your head as you squeeze your eyes shut, overstimulation overcoming your entire body as you shake in his hold.

"oh yes pretty, gotta' hold it for me, doin' so good" you feel like you're about to burst from the seams and he's telling you to hold it? you can't anymore, so you do the last thing you can in order to gain his permission.

"please, please please please daddy I can't" you squeal, begging him for your release as he chuckles from above you, a smirk forming on his lips as you beg.

"who owns you? who owns this pussy?" he whispers in your ear, his hand on your face coming down to your throat with a squeeze as a reminder.

"daddy does, daddy owns me!" you thrash under him, the cord in your belly snapping.

"that's right, daddy owns you. you can cum now sweetheart, im right here, daddy's got you" the nickname he refers himself as makes you melt- feeling so much more loved as you orgasm all over his hand, squirting so much your head begins to feel light while tiny babbling bubbles from your throat and off your lips. gojo can't help himself as he praises you, giving your forehead kisses as his fingers slow, helping you through your orgasm. your back arches into him and your head shifts to the side as his huge hand on your throat moves to caress your collarbones.

"my precious little baby, such a good girl, takin' my fingers so well" he praises you

"good f' daddy" you repeat to him, your voice small as you blush

"yes pretty, very good for daddy" he kisses your nose before pulling his fingers out of you, bringing them up to his mouth and sucking on them with a hum

"such a sweet taste from such a sweet girl" he compliments you, coming down to kiss you deeply. you can taste yourself on him. your hands wrap around his back, pulling his body into yours with a small huff.

he pulls away, looking down at your appearance. your lip tint smeared, your hair disheveled, and your eyes clouded over with lust.

"you wan' daddy to use you baby? stuff you full of his cock until you're beggin' me to stop?" he tilts his head, almost as if he was taunting you.

you nod yours, quietly begging as you speak

"yes please sir, please use me, need you so bad please" your eyes begging to be fucked deep into the mattress, and its driving satoru insane with every passing millisecond. he sits up, adjusting himself as he grabs your legs, throwing them over his shoulder. he positions his thick, pale tip at your entrance, slowly pushing himself in as you whine at the stretch.

no matter how many times the two of you have sex, it feels as though you never get used to how big his cock is, stretching you out every. single. time.

he leans down onto your legs more, your thighs pressing up against your body now as he forces you into a mating press. your hands make their way around his neck and towards his back, your fingers digging into him as he slowly pushes himself in. he can tell with the progressively growing distant look in your eye, he's losing you.

and he absolutely fucking loves it.

he adores it when you slip into being completely submissive, giving him full control of your body and trusting him completely. its almost like he's falling in love with you all over again.

and you love being able to provide that euphoric feeling for him. you two were absolutely made for each other.

his balls smack the flesh of your ass as he bottoms out inside you, you let out a choke as he does so, the breath being knocked out of you. he's just so fucking long.

he pulls out almost completely before thrusting his entire length back inside you, a mewl spilling from your lips. his thrusts begin at a steady rhythm, skin slapping and tiny sounds filling the room. both of your guys' bodies become hot, sweaty and sticky. its so disgusting that it turns you on even more. your arms loosely dangle from his neck as your boobs bounce with every thrust.

satoru moves his head down so his forehead is pressed against yours. he pecks your lips before his speed picks up to one that's animalistic, causing your breath to hitch and a loud squeal being ripped from your throat. his hands grip the mattress next to each side of your head as he fucks you into the mattress, throwing his head back while his Adams apple bobs up and down as a result of his loud groans hitting your ears, you taking pride in being able to give him such a reaction.

as your hands fall down onto the bed and your entire body feels like jelly; your orgasm approaches, sneakily and quick. you moan louder at the tight feeling in your abdomen, signaling to him that you're close, but he doesn't seem to care as he looks down at you, a smirk on his face.

your moans only make him go faster, and with his cock kissing your cervix with every thrust, you scream out in pain and pleasure.

"h-hurts, daddy sl-slow!" you beg, but when he clenches his jaw, that's when you tell he's also completely slipped.

"you can take it darling, 'm not done usin' you yet" he says to you, a low groan, sinister and deep shivers its way through gojos entire body, escaping out of his throat directly into your ears.

your pussy flutters around his cock as he fucking you through your second orgasm of the night, squirting all over his abdomen, but he doesn't care, his hips never falter his quick pace that assaults your body. tears well up in your eyes with how well he's fucking you. gojo takes note of your teary eyes and pouts.

"you look so pretty when you cry baby, can't help myself when you're squeezin' me so tightly" he can feel himself getting closer. your breathing is heavy and your eyes are distant, mewls and small babbles are the only sound coming from you. rough skin slapping sounds from satoru's hips snapping against your ass fill the room as your legs begin to shake once more.

Gojo looks down at you, the pout returning onto his lips as he speaks

"look at me little one" he says, one of his hands unlaces from the mattress and grabs the base of your jaw, and you literally can't disobey as your eyes find his.

"you gonna take daddy's cum like the good little girl you are? wanna be stuffed with me so full?" he looks down, noting the slight bulge in your tummy every time he fucks his cock back inside you.

"f-fuck" he curses at the sight.

you nod your head, incoherent begs spilling from your whiney lips.

"speak up sweet girl, can't hear you honey, tell daddy what you want" he says, the tears finally spilling from your eyes as you feel your next orgasm about to spill over you.

"y-yes sir, please use me please, c-can't, so close!" your eyes close, more tears spilling down onto your warm cheeks.

"such a good little princess you are, cum with me sweet girl, you can do it, daddys right here I got you" is all he has to say before you cream all over his cock once more. gojo's hand comes down to press on your lower abdomen as he thrusts himself into you, shooting his cum deep inside your tummy. his head flings back as he moans quite loudly, his lower lip coming between his teeth.

its a good thing you're on birth control

he can't stop himself when he thrusts softly into you again, you wincing as he does so.

he also can't stop himself when he puts your legs down onto the mattress, keeping one of his hands on your thighs to keep them spread as he loses himself again completely, thrusting up into your pussy as you squeal, attempting to scoot yourself back on the bed to get away from him.

"you can't run from me pretty, 'm gonna fuck my cum into you, make sure you know who owns you" he chuckles, his free hand coming up to take both your wrists in his hand, holding them up above your head as you squirm in his hold, trying to get away from him.

of course you know what the safe word is, as does he. but you don't use it, and the both of you know its because you're just such a desprate little whore who can't help enjoy being used in such a way, and it makes gojo absolutely feral.

"s-stop, please! it- it hurts daddy please!" you scream, wiggling around trying to get free.

"you know the safe word pretty girl, you can use it any time..." he pauses.. looking down at you

"you want daddy to stop breeding your cute little hole, hmm?" you shake your head from side to side, embarrassment coursing through your entire body as you do so.

"please, no dont"

"then stop beggin' for me to stop, because you know no matter how much you do, it wont save you." his thrusts pick up speed, making sure his cum seeps into every single crack and crevice of your insides, marking you his.

"you're gonna take my cock wether you like it or not, slut" his hands let go of your wrists, coming down to your face in order to shove two of his fingers down your throat. your lips close around his digits, sucking on them. you collapse on the bed, your body going limp as his eyes meet yours. droll begins to fall out of the corners of your mouth and down your cheeks and the both of you reach a maximum high.

you clench around his cock, tightening around him as he feels his dick twitch inside you.

"cum with me baby, doin' so good, cum for daddy yeah?" is all he says before you're gushing around him, his cock shooting ropes of cum inside you once again as the both of you moan in unison, a pretty melody only the two of you can create in such a perfect way.

it takes gojo a minute to cool down before he's pulling his softening cock out of you. it takes him one glance at your demeanor before he's rushing to cup your face, realization hitting him like a brick.

"baby? im so sorry did I go too rough" your breathing is heavy as you try to gain composure from the earth-shattering orgasms he just gifted to you, but your silence worries your lover

"honey talk to me please" he says, pulling out of you and moving to hover his body over yours while he cups your cheek with one of his hands, making your eyes meet his as he stares at you lovingly. You continue to try and regain your composure, but it takes you longer than normal, so you decide to whimper out short words

"thank you" you whisper and gojo's chest tightens at your words.

"oh baby, you don't have to thank me for taking care of my pretty little girl, its what I do sweetheart" he leans down and kisses your forehead before pulling back to look at you again

"are you okay angel, did I hurt you at all or go too rough?" he asks in the most sincere tone you've ever heard. you nod your head with a smile as you start to regain yourself

"no, you didn't hurt me, perfect" your broken sentence somehow makes sense to your white haired boyfriend.

"I love you my darling girl, I'll be right back" he says before exiting the room, only to renter not soon after with a clean rag.

he cleans you up gently, making sure you have to do little to no movement as he takes care of you once again. you can feel the love radiating off of him when he helps you slip on one of his lose shirts before he crawls into bed with you, getting lost in each others warmth for any more words.

[dreaming-twist]

2. WEB

Some random oneshot for TwstOBer ~ Enjoy please xD

“Sebek, you need to find some other hobby. Do you want to try playing with my PC?”

“Human inventions that have nothing to do with magic? Hmpf! Sounds disappointing.”

“Well, well, at least give it a try, okay? It maybe surprises you.”

“... If you say so, Lilia-sama...”

That was how it all began. A simple proposal from Lilia had been his first and until now last contact with that world. And he still didn't know how he had gotten to the point where he was right now.

That day, in Lilia's PC, he found a program on the web that caught his attention. "Pass on your thoughts or knowledge!" It said. Sebek arched an eyebrow, and ended up creating an account outnof curiosuty with the first nickname that came to mind (Best Bolt) until he came across a recording function. Then he realized what this must be.

“I understand. It should be something like a journal, but instead of writing it by hand, you speak directly to it. Interesting invention, not bad for humans...”

And then, after clearing his throat and hitting the 'Record' button, he began to speak.

“... Hello? ... I don't know how this works, but I will try to adapt. This is my first time using one of these... inventions. It's interesting, but... Hm? Wait, why is there a light that is blinking on the side? Okay... I'll try to fix it. I don't know how the recording is turned off...”

Sebek began to investigate what happened to the computer, and in that time he wasn't seeing suddenly the counter of 0 that appeared on the side of the recording screen went up to 1, then to 2, and thus it began to rise. increasingly.

Once he finally fixed it, he returned to his starting position.

“Done. It was not a problem for me. What could I talk about today... Huh?”

As he was thinking, he suddenly saw an alert glow red on the screen, next to a speech bubble. Sebek brought the mouse to it and opened it, finding the words: "You can talk about anything you want."

“I understand. It even gives you suggestions... What a useful program... I'll talk a bit about myself in that case.” Despite this, Sebek decided not to speak the names of anyone he named... for his own sake. He didn't want to be embarrassed later if he listened to his own diary... “Right now I don't live with my family, so to speak. It's not that I get on badly with them at all; I went away to study and to fulfill my duties and my work. So now I'm living somewhere else, surrounded by... ahem, people. However, the ones I am closest to are... the family of a person I have known since childhood.”

He leaned back in the chair.

“One of them treats me almost as if I were his son, and sometimes I think he cares too much about me and pampers me too much. He has taught me so many things, and I feel that every day I learn a little more from him. I respect him a lot... although he sometimes takes advantage of me and plays practical jokes on me. I don't know if he wants me to feel comfortable and enjoy all of this despite being away from my family... or he just wants to play with me. He left me all this... equipment to test it and 'have fun'. Hum. I think once again he was right. His advice is always helpful.”

He made a mental note that he should thank Lilia.

“And then there is... the one who is the only person my age who has always been by my side. He is a very decisive... person, and too calm, I'll say. That is what makes him fail so much in many things. However... he is the person I have been with the most since children, and despite his failures and the fact that we argue so many times... he is very important to me. We do not consider ourselves nor have we called ourselves 'friends' before, rather it is that in addition to being one of the same rank as me, he is my rival and someone I like to continually surpass. I think he may feel the same way.”

For some reason he was saying things that surprised even him. He had never spoken so openly about Silver. How was this happening? Was he so comfortable talking to himself...?

“And there is someone else, who is who I am doing all this for and for whom I strive every day. He is the most incredible being I have ever met. Always correct, with the greatest power I have ever seen, diligent, perfect... It is directly my reason for being, I am SURE of it. I want to become stronger for him and be by his side to serve him whenever he needs me. I'm lucky that someone like him recognized my worth. He is my role model... Although...”

He bit his lip.

“... I think I'm not good enough to help him, protect him, and still be worthy. But I will be. Not because I started showing results later than others am I going to give up. That is something I am not going to do. I want to make the world see that I can become the best in my course... No; the best ever. And prove that he was not wrong with me. It doesn't matter where you come from, whose son you are, or if your power came to light sooner or later... WHAT REALLY MATTERS IS YOUR PASSION, AND STRIVE EVERY DAY TO KEEP WALKING!”

After blurting that out with a big smile and clenched fists, he soon realized that he had lost his composure a bit. He returned to his starting position, clearing his throat.

“... Ahem. For now I feel like I'm on the right track to achieve that goal. The first step is to be the best in my course. Or so I think. The people I... hang out with, from the same course as me are... peculiar. There is one who seems to be pursuing the same goal as me. But he still has a lot left. I notice conviction in his words but I don't see any improvement in his studies. However, he is stronger than I expected at first, and he excels at P.E. There's another... thing who wants to become the best too, but... I'm not even going to talk about him. That one is a lost case. There are two more who instead appear to be quite normal, but one only seems to have an interest in one thing, and the other... honestly, I don't know what to think of him, but he's very strong. And besides the four of them there is a... person who does not seem to want to improve on anything at all. Or rather, he doesn't seem to have an interest in it. But he is not an idiot, rather he seems like one, and I have learned from other sources that when he proposes it to him, he is capable of being the best student in his class. Perhaps he is the most suitable to call him a 'rival' among them. Although as long as he continues to seem so bored of everything that comes his way, there should be no problem... He also shouldn't like me too much. Although he keeps talking to me. He is an interesting guy.”

Sebek then took a breath to talk about the last person he was missing, after talking about Deuce, Grim, Epel, Jack and Ace.

“And lastly there is this… ahem, person, that came along all of a sudden. They doesn't have the capacity to be here, but they somehow got in and we're on the same course. When I learned of their existence, I felt that I had tried very hard to get here, while they had a special ability, although not the one that everyone else possesses, was able to enter without problems. It was unfair. I have ever thought that they were making fun of everyone.” He paused. For some reason, even though he had blurted it out, he didn't feel good about himself... Was that the whole truth...? It was then that he recalled certain moments that he spent with them from then on. “... But they are very clumsy. I feel like I have to be there to hold them if they falls. Studying with them is not unpleasant, they are capable to follow my advice and understand things quickly. I do not dislike those who strive to achieve their goals...”

Another notification appeared on the side of the screen. Sebek stopped speaking, a half smile adorning his face, and looked at the message, taking advantage of the stop in his monologue. Would it be another suggestion from the program...?

“How beautiful is love.”

The boy jumped.

“WHAT?! NO!!” He yelled at the screen, totally flushed. “H-How can a program say these things?! This is a joke?!”

The notifications came out again and Sebek managed to read some.

“Program? What are you talking about man?”

“Hey, there is nothing wrong with you liking someone, I support you!!!”

“Is Story Time over? I was really enjoying listening to you, Best Bolt”

“I have become a fan of yours! Will you talk about more things another day?”

“Your words are very inspiring!♡”

“Best Bolt u r the BEST!”

Sebek began to check the screen, and saw that next to a symbol that represented an eye appeared the number "5000".

5000... eyes?

WERE THERE 5000 PEOPLE LISTENING TO HIM AT THAT TIME ?!

“Hey. Did you listen to Best Bolt the other day on this popular app with podcasts that premier live?” Ace asked, as he ate his burger.

Sebek stopped eating when he heard that.

“No, but I have heard people talk about him to class people. He seemed interesting” Said Epel.

“I had listened to podcasts, but few that talked about personal life... And he spoke so calmly and in such a sincere and focused way... I wish I could do something like that” Deuce commented. Epel smiled at him, he felt the same way.

“I don't know who you're talking about” said Jack confused. (Y/n) and Grim were just like him.

“He cut the recording suddenly the other day, something may have happened to his PC... But hey, if he comes back I'll let you know for sure.”

Sebek ate without saying anything, next to them, who were talking so happily about Best Bolt, until...

“Sebek, youuuu... well, I don't even know why I ask, in Diasomnia you all are very old-fashioned, right? You don't use technology much... except Lilia-senpai.” Ace started to say, looking at him.

Sebek tried to avoid him as best he could.

“HUH?! A-Ah... No, n-no, I don't have interest in that kind of human-made things...”

“Heee... Well, I'll let you know when Best Bolt comes back anyway. Maybe it surprises you.”

“Y-Yes, okay, thank you” He replied, looking away... where he met the watchful gaze of (Y/n), quite close to his face.

“Sebek, are you okay?”

That was the last straw. Sebek quickly rose from his chair.

“PERFECTLY! AND NOW IF YOU ALL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO SEE HOW THE YOUNG MASTER IS!”

And with that said, the boy ran towards the exit, while everyone else looked at him.

“... Hey now that I think about it, doesn't Best Bolt look a bit like Sebek? That way of speaking, and everything he said...”

“Ha, ha. Good one, Deuce.”

[gumnut-logic]

Callisto

Okay, you may have heard me rambling on about this project...alot. Poor @tsarinatorment @janetm74 @scribbles97 and @onereyofstarlight have suffered extensively so far because it has been them I have been harrassing the most.

The reason why it is such a big deal to me at the moment, is because I’m trying something new. You may have noticed I have a bit of a scatterbrained muse that likes to jump from one shiny to another at a breakneck pace - I am soooo sorry for the trail of unfinished fics over the last few months ::groans at the mess on my archives:: I had sworn to not upload unfinished stuff, but there are some fun moments in those wips, aaargh.

But anyway, finishing the Kermadec fic was a big thing for me. VERY BIG. The previous year I had managed to, with so much support from you guys, finish Gentle Rain, which, while not everyone’s cup of tea because it is a ship fic, had a major impact on my writing and proved to me that I could finish a longer project.

When I started the Kermadec fic, I realised it was going to be quite a long one, but not as long as it actually was. The muse did what it liked with those whales and, well, sorry Virg. That fic had some planned structure. I had a solid skeleton of initially four days (which became five). I knew they were going to camp on Macauley, I knew they were going to encounter the whales, and Mel was planned from the start. Sam popped up halfway and all the Raoul scenes did whatever the hell they wanted, but I knew I had to get the boys home for Christmas (I just didn’t specify which Christmas, oops). But the key was I had a structure to hang the boys on and contain the muse just a little so it didn’t suddenly slap a space rescue in there or something stupid like it is prone to do.

Leading up to, and while I was writing/procrastinating the Kermadec fic, (like a good chunk of last year), I started a new writing regime (stolen from Terry Pratchett, apparently) where I only require myself to write 400 words a day. This number is achievable and I started writing every day, something fairly consistent. Considering how erratic I can be, this was a great achievement. I ended up creating the Anna Kent series, Dirt, Flannel, Reactions, When the World Goes Boom (I will finish this!), The Dentist, The Joker and the Hero (I’ll finish this one too!) and Who do you save, John?. All of these are decent sized fics, but all of them were started on a whim and slapped together in odd moments. The muse did whatever the hell it wanted and I often ended up in places unexpected. While they were a lot of fun and I am really happy in some cases, I feel that the plots sometimes suffered for lack of planning. There were definite instances of me writing myself into a corner and then having to bend the fabric of space and time to get myself out of it. There was some planning...I have scribbled notes, but most of it was on the fly and a thread tying exercise at the end.

So, I want to improve that plotting and planning. However, as with everything to do with my stupid brain, there is a problem. If I plan too much, the writing gets boring and I lose interest - this has happened in the past. So I need to find a balance.

But I’m learning. Year one was Gentle Rain, year two was We’ll Be Home For Christmas. This year it is Callisto.

Callisto is a planned novel length fic. Screw it, I’m calling it a novel :P Look I have a storyboard to prove it.

And, yes, I made sure it was blurry enough to not offer spoilers.

I literally spent all day Wednesday nutting out the science behind this story and world building and in the evening spent another few hours ironing out the plot. Many thanks to those who helped so much, you know who you are and I appreciate it ever so much ::hugs you lots::

So I have a plot skeleton on which to hang our boys (poor buggers, they’re all in this one).  The word count it already over 16,500 words and I have no idea how high it is going to get.

One of the things I really enjoyed with the Kermadec fic was exploring the Kermadecs, a place I have never been and will likely never go. It was fascinating and the process was like actually being there.

This time around I want to take the boys out of their familiar surroundings, I want challenges, I want mystery, I want to learn and I want to see if I can do this.

So, long story short, this is a big thing for me and while sometimes it may seem I’m not writing much, it’s because unlike previous exercises, I’m not posting immediately. I’m leaving a gap between writing and posting, leaving room for alterations. The first half of Kermadec was written this way and it was pure luxury to be able to go back and add foreshadowing when I needed to. This is better practise for me and will hopefully result in a better fic.

All in all, I’m hoping to control my crazy brain in order to make a quality end product. But it will be challenging. There will be whining and down moments. Screaming matches with myself and times where I will need a prod or a poke. This is me facing me, always a scary thing. I am my own nemesis.

So, I would like to thank all of you who have been so supportive so far and put up with my whining and oddities. There will be other fics along the way, no doubt. The challenge is to stop them from getting out of control and taking my attention from Callisto. It will be a juggle. I know myself too well to think I won’t wander off on another fic (the whole reason both The Hero and When the World Goes Boom aren’t finished is literally because of the Kermadec fic - I slammed them shut and made myself focus on the big fic - unfortunately, picking them up again is hard and in turn screwed with just about every other fic I attempted towards the end of last year, which is why I cracked earlier this year and desperately needed to dump the load of WIPs in order to get writing again - I sometimes get lost in my own brain).

So, this essay, wow, oops.

Next Tuesday, I will be posting the new Prologue (the original prologue was only 700-odd words long and proved to be not enough so I went back and expanded it to the full length I had originally planned - it is now nearly 5000 words long and pretty much a story by itself). Once that is posted, I can start uploading the fic to the archives so peeps there can see I am actually writing.

I’m currently hip deep in Chapter Three, where that storyboard starts.

Wish me luck :D

::hugs::

Nutty

(nuts)

[moccahobi]

A Spark in the Commons [Yugyeom x Reader]

Pairing: Got7 Yugyeom x GN Reader

Genre: Fluff, Hybrid au, College au, 13+

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack

A/N: This was done for @got7writerscollective​‘s flightlog project! It’s my first official got7 fic! So please enjoy!

Summery: You help an anxious deer shifter in the shifter union commons and a friendship buds. 

The Shifter Union commons of Seoul University was empty aside from you and the occasional guard who would sweep through to make sure that nothing amiss was happening. Of course nothing ever was on evenings like these where the only person in the commons was an employee getting paid to make sure any shifter in need had someone. Some nights were more wild and full of shifters who were in various states of shifting, but you didn’t like to work those nights. You prefered staffing the less crowded times when there were next to no one in the commons and you could work on homework while getting paid. Even with the occasional person who would come in, the quieter nights were best in your personal opinion. 

This evening was one of those quiet nights. You’d been alone in the common space for almost an hour, the last shifter having left after the two of you had a conversation about a class they were taking. It was just as you finished writing your tenth page of your peace studies essay that you felt the strung and pungent smell of burnt toast and something more bitter made you look up to see an anxious deer shifter, his antlers parting his hair as he approached the open common’s room.

“Hello! Welcome to the Seoul University’s shifter union!” You said cautiously, your eyes meeting his large, blown out ones with worry as he finally entered the commons.

The man stopped stiffly, tightly gripping his bag and not breaking eye contact with you, his nose flaring as he sniffed the room. Breaking eye contact first, you gave him a once over, struck by how still he was. You were glad that you took blockers this morning, your predatory raccoon pheromones not filling the room this moment and making the poor shifter feel more anxious and he didn’t need that. Poor man was working himself up enough already.

“How can I help you?”

He didn’t move, a small squeak leaving him.

“Would you like a private room to shift in?” You pointed to a door to the right of you that led to some small rooms sterile for shifters who needed to engage with their animal form privately for a little, “The union has some rooms for people right over there.” 

He lowered his eyes which were looking more and more deer-like by the second and quickly walked over to the door that led to the private rooms, closing loudly behind him. A sigh left you as you tried to return to your paper. Many times shifters needed space when their stress and anxiety forced them to shift, but you knew that before the man left you’d need to talk to him. 

Part of your job at the shifter union required you to  record his use of the room, check in to make sure that he was ok, and that the emergency need of the space wasn’t due to any issues on campus. You worried about him trying to run off the second he calmed down enough to return to his human form, having dealt with many shifters who feared using the union for its help or felt like they had to return to class immediately after a forced shift. They never had to. The union worked out a deal with the school to make sure forced shifts were seen as excused absences if filed through the union. You loved this job and how it allowed you to help your fellow shifters. You’d be damned if you didn’t take your work seriously. 

In fact, part of the reason you got on pheromone blockers was to make prey shifters more comfortable around you (the other part simply due to you not enjoying the feeling of heat and regular blockers kept your heat at bay). At the thought of pheromones, you got up, opened one of the windows and lit a candle in an attempt to start breaking up the stress pheromones that hung in the air. 

What sounded like a constant clatter of hooves made it hard to focus on your paper. It wasn’t like you could look at what was happening, the rooms had windows high up to allow light in but not let people see what those who were decompressing were doing. Somehow, the noise of the anxious shifter became background clatter and you managed to carve out a good chunk of your essay before you started to hear more… human-like movements in the back space. 

Your mind drifted to how you could get his attention without scaring him when he finally exited. There was a chance that he was informed about the processes the commons tries to have when the rooms are used but there is also a chance that he is completely unaware of them. There were many shifters who didn’t know the protocol. Plus,  if you did need to get his attention, you didn’t want to startle him or make it look like he was in trouble for using the space for three hours. The decompression rooms were here for moments like this after all. You heard the telltale click of the door opening but before you had time to try to get his attention, he spoke. 

“I… thank you for letting me use the room for so long.” His voice was soft and smooth and, unlike last time, you were the one whose eyes widened and felt frozen in place. 

He was good looking and smelling when he wasn’t sending off stress pheramones every which way, and his voice… it was so soft.

You floundered for a second before coughing, “N-No problem. They’re here for all shifters. Which room did you end up using? I will want to tell the next person working the union commons to make sure it gets cleaned.” 

“I used the room number… 3,” He said while leaning back to verify. 

A silence hung in the air after he spoke, he was clearly waiting for you to speak but you were still frozen. He hesitated before slowly walking past you, his eyes trained on you as if waiting to see if you kept talking or if he was free to go.

“Before you go… may I ask…” 

You froze… you knew how you were supposed to go about getting the information. You needed to ask for his student ID, name, and why they needed the room… but something about this man was making words hard for you. Your mind was blanking and stuttering as it tried to function. 

“Yes?” 

“I-If you have time, we like to keep a record of who uses the rooms and why. Mostly just to keep track… but also if you were using it because of…” 

Come on, Y/n! You knew this stuff! Why were you struggling so much now?

You sighed, “If it was caused by a staff member or a fellow student, the union can take action to protect your rights as a shifter. There are also options to message professors or coaches to excuse possible absences if the room was used for a stress shift. Also… I, as a worker, um… I work here and part of my job is to be an ear for venting and… all that… I am not a mandatory reporter too so if that is a worry… uhh… don’t.” 

He nodded slowly, “Uhh… I have a class… now,” He mumbled and pointed back to the entrance of the commons, “was on my way to it when I got a little… overwhelmed…”

Did he not check his phone yet? Any evening class was going to be done at this time you thought, checking the clock on your computer just to verify.

“Sir, you were in the room for three hours.”

“What?!” His eyes widened and you noticed his pupils grow once again. 

Quickly, you jumped up and walked over to where he was standing, “Don’t worry about it! If you give me a list of your professors, I can email them! This can count as an excused absence! There’s no need to worry.”

His eyes seemed to gloss over as he stumbled back slightly, his breaths coming out shift and fast. Quickly, you moved to guide him back to one of the nearest chairs that was only a few steps away and plush, gently rubbing his arm as he took a sharp intake of air and collapsed onto the chair, his horns slowly growing again and pushing some hair back.You got up and locked the door to the union entrance before returning to help. While it was normally policy to keep the door open and unlocked all times a staff member was in, you could risk making sure no one interrupted this moment to make sure this student felt safe (especially since you were a fairly small school and there were only 1000 shifters… out of 5000 students in the school and it was dinner rush). 

By the time you did make it back to him, he was starting to hyperventilate, his eyes distant and his antlers growing by the second. At this point, his distress pheromones were making the air heavy and hard to breath in and you were thankful that the window was open. You simply sat next to him and waited. At this point, if you tried to touch him, he would likely feel even more panicked and you didn’t want to do anything that could possibly harm him. Panic attacks were hard enough without any extra stressors.

The panic attack came in waves and you sat with him through it until he was able to speak some, but instead of letting him even think about apologizing, you simply started to ask him about the room. How many grey items were there? Purple? Green? And so forth until his breathing was calmer and you stopped being showered in his stress pheromones. 

“My name’s Yugyeom, by the way.” He said after a minute of silence when he finally calmed down more.

“Nice to meet you Yugyeom, I’m Y/n.” 

As it turned out, Yugyeom was a transfer just a year below you and had just declared his major the day he came in. You could easily see how the stress of being a transfer, with a human roommate (who didn’t want him to shift), delaring, and the start of a seven week night course could compound. That night, the two of you talked until Yejin, one of your coworkers came for her shift and forced you out so that you could get some sleep. The two of you left in a fit of laughs and then walked around campus and talked even more until you barely had enough money to drive back to your apartment. Despite how the night started, it was probably the best night of your whole week and you were hoping to talk to Yugyeom whenever you saw him next to get his number and hopefully hang out… Although you were tempted to try to pursue a romantic relationship as well. 

The thing was, that after that night you didn’t see him for a whole week! You’d see his name on the record of people who used the shifting rooms, would sometimes have to clean up after him, and even saw him around campus some. Sadly, it seemed as if your schedules never matched up to see eachother again and despite all the near meet-ups, you didn’t have a chance to talk to him again. You wanted to as well… you were worried about the anxious transfer student and wanted to make sure that he was doing ok. 

Part of you wanted to seek him out. The campus was small and you were fairly positive that the two of you saw glimpses of each other (and just didn’t realize) so seeking him out wouldn’t be too hard to do. That part of you was overshadowed by a worry that he didn’t want to try to have a friendship with you or the little flirting you did near the end of the night was too much and now he never wanted to talk to you again. Of course it was a mostly irrational fear (hopefully), but it kept you from trying to find Yugyeom.

 . Just as you were starting to give up hope of seeing him again, you were proven wrong. It was another late shift at the shifter union and since you didn’t have any dier work that needed to be done, you simply sat one one of the couches and read.You were still present in case anyone wanted to be in the space, but you were trying to relax. It was somewhat hard though as you were also very aware of the security guard who was slowly meandering around the unions commons and making sure that everything was ok. As the guard spent more and more time slowly walking around the commons, you started paying less and less attention to your book, instead your senses honing in on the guard. It was likely due to your raccoon part that you felt so cautious around the guard but the longer he stuck in the union commons, the worse you felt about him. 

He was taking glances at you. Maybe he was just double checking to make sure all was alright but your mind started to wander. You hadn’t had issues with this guard but you knew that some of the security guards were iffy around the shifters they thought they could dominere. Part of you wished that you weren’t on pheromone blockers so you could show him that you were not a shifter to be messed with. That you could be intimidating and a force to be reckoned with. Technically raccoons were apex predators.

Before your mind started to wander further about how you could intimidate or protect yourself against the guard, the union door opened and the smell of Yugyeom filled your senses. Almost as soon as it hit your nostrils, you felt yourself relax. Part of you told yourself that it was simply due to having another person in the room and a male shifter at that (another part of you swooned when you caught a glimpse of Yugyeom in all his glory). 

The guard  huffed and, as Yugyeom started to settle into a seat somewhat near you, the guard left the room. As he left, you wondered what he was thinking and if he actually wanted to try something or if your anxiety was all in your head. You really hoped it was all in your head. 

Slowly, you relaxed in your seat, part of your brain still focusing on Yugyeom while you tried to continue reading. His smell comforted you.  You didn’t know why, but you didn’t feel the need to question it. Instead, you simply settled further into your chair and focused on your book again, taking deep breaths all the while.

As the night dragged on, you occasionally checked on Yugyeom to make sure that he was ok (and maybe see if he was looking at you. During all your “sneaky” glances, you were once again struck by how handsome he was. Even as his brows furrowed in confusion and got ink on his nose, he was so good looking. No one should look as good as he looked while doing school work.

At one point, you had to stifle a small laugh when you saw him reach for some drink he brought with him only to realize that it was empty. The shocked face he made when he realized made you want to swoon and get him another drink as well, but you didn’t want to speak and further break the delicate silence. Apparently Yugyeom must have heard your laugh because he looked up and met your eyes. Both of you simply stared at each other in awkward silence.

Fuck.

“Uh… what were you drinking?” You asked, cringing as each word was spoken.

A sinkhole would be wonderful at this point. You really didn’t want to answer and yet he was simply looking even more confused as the silence festered, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of what to say in response. 

Fuck.

Without even giving him time to answer, you excused yourself hastily, embarrassment filling you to the brim as you practically ran out of the commons. Now you had another issue to worry about as well… what would be your excuse for leaving?

You were such a dumbass for leaving. 

Fuck.

Yugyeom was surely going to answer if you hadn’t left, and now that you suddenly left he probably thought you were rude and most definitely wouldn’t want to be your friend. All your stuff was still in the commons as well and you still had another two hours that you were supposed to be working the commons before your shift was done. It wasn’t like you could just leave and not return for the night.

The only plus you could see was that you had your lanyard with you. At least you could get something at a vending machine or something. It wasn’t the most acceptable reason to walk out of the commons before he could answer but at least it was something. 

At that thought, you briskly walked to the closest vending machine, hoping no one who was still working late in the building wouldn’t look at you or try to talk to you. It was just down the hall so it wouldn’t take you too long to get something and return as long as no one talked to you. 

Before you punched in a number for one of the foods in the machine though, you found yourself realizing that you had no idea what he liked to eat. As if tonight couldn’t get any more embarrassing. It was like part of you was dying as you stared angrily at the vending machine for help (not like it was sentient and could suddenly shout “This is the food Yugyeom gets every time!”).

In the end, you settled for getting him one of your favorite snacks from the vending machine and praying that Yugyeom had some sense in food. As you slowly walked back to the commons, different scenarios played through your mind depending on how he reacted. It wasn’t until you almost entered that you wondered if he was even still in the commons. 

He was, thankfully. 

When you entered, you stopped at the door though, suddenly worried about going up to Yugyeom and giving him the snack… It wasn’t a big deal… but what if he was allergic to what you got? Or what if he…

“Are you just going to stand by the door?” His voice cut through your thoughts.

You coughed awkwardly, “No… Sorry for leaving so suddenly earlier… I… uh… I had to pee. Badly. To make it up though…” You shuffled to him and quickly set the snack in front of him, “Here’s a snack. I didn’t know what to get you so I got my favorite.”

He looked shocked, “Thank you! I love this snack! I was drinking a matcha latte by the way. The cafe downstairs makes a really good latte. I’m addicted.”

“They are so amazing.” You laughed and nodded, quickly sitting in your seat again as relief filled you, “I remember having like five a day until I ran out of swipes for it on my card and had to struggle without them for the rest of the semester… which had like two months left.”

Yugyeom snorted and you felt a jolt of excitement at hearing it, “Yeah. One of my friends is that way with their coldbrews. Loves their honey and vanilla one.” He scrunched up his nose cutely, “It doesn’t taste good to me though.”

“You know… if you want really good matcha stuff. There’s a cafe off campus near the town’s library that is all matcha themed. They have some other stuff but almost everything uses matcha in it and it’s amazing.” 

“That sounds amazing… I’d love to go sometime… maybe…” Yugyeom stopped and you noticed a deep blush grow on his face, “Maybe we could go together sometime.”

“I’d like that a lot.” 

You felt positively giddy as you waited for Yugyeom outside of the union commons the following day, your mind racing as you tried to look calm and collected. Of course, almost every shifter in the room could smell the anxiety wafting off of you as you waited but all of them had the decency to act like you weren’t anxious… well except for Yejin who was another shifter who worked at the union and was probably your closest friend that you also worked with. 

As soon as she saw you show up with nothing but a small backpack that only held a few things and smelled your anxiety, she knew right away that you weren’t in the commons to relax. When you told her that you were meeting with a… a friend, she got all excited (even more excited when you confessed that you were here earlier than needed). You weren’t normally someone who was overly worried about time, especially when it came to hanging out, but Yugyeom made you nervous and you wanted to impress. 

While Yejin started to complain about you not telling her sooner, you felt thankful that you hadn’t. She was amazing and you loved her, but you knew that if you told her that you were hanging with a guy you had a crush on, she would try to style you up. You didn’t think that this was the type of occasion for that. Besides, Yugyeom probably meant it as a friendship hang out and not a date hangout. Your gay ass never knew how to handle good looking people who wanted to be friends… especially when they were as sweet and good looking as Yugyeom. 

You so had a crush on the guy. 

Fuck.

“Haha. Looks like we both had the idea of arriving early.” Yugyeom’s laugh broke you from your train of thoughts. 

You looked up to see him enter the commons and make a b-line to you, and you were struck with how handsome he was. Not that he wasn’t normally. He always looked good, but he looked amazing in the large blue sweater and skinny jeans. What topped it off was that his hair was swept back in a graceful windblown manner, unlike the past few times where it rested in a simple bowl cut that still managed to make him look amazing.

Like you, there was also a smell of nervousness that radiated off of  him, but neither of you mentioned the nervous smells. If anything, his anxiousness made you feel more excited and comforted. Maybe Yugyeom thought of this as something more than two potential friends hanging out… just like you did. 

You tried to smile as naturally as possible (although, it probably looked slightly pained), “Yeah! I mean… I had a shift here just before this.”

“Oh.” Yugyeom’s smile faltered slightly and you immediately knew you messed up.

“Not like I wouldn’t have arrived early if I didn’t have a shift,” You laughed awkwardly, the two of you now walking to your car to go to the matcha shop, “Honestly, I am so bad with time, if it wasn’t’ for my shift, I would have probably been here two hours early instead of just thirty minutes early.” 

“I thought you just got off of a shift?” Yugyeom smirked and you blushed.

“I… Yeah. I mean… I got off two hours ago, went to get ready, and then I returned… not…” 

Yugyeom laughed loudly and shook his head, effectively cutting you off. Before either of you had time to respond, you made it to your car and in a somewhat awkward silence, the two of you got in and drove to the matcha place. The actual time in the cafe was… amazing. 

Laughter and amicable conversation filled the whole evening as the two of you tried multiple foods and drinks together. Before you knew it, the sun set and you had to drop Yugyeom off at campus before returning to your apartment for the night, a pile of reading waiting for you to work on the next day. All throughout the next day, you felt as if you were floating on cloud nine, a dazed smile stuck on your face when you thought back on the time at the cafe. 

It was only after not seeing Yugyeom around for a few days that you started to feel anxiety pool and bubble in you once again. 

Did you do something wrong?

You’d given him your number… he knew where he could find you… why hadn’t you two talked since?

Suddenly, you started to feel jumpy and worried, reliving the moments at the cafe over and over again so see if there was something you possibly did wrong to make Yugyeom not want to associate with you again. Maybe it was because the two if you barely talked about shifters… You weren’t a common shifter and people often had trouble guessing normally but you are now on pheromone blockers as well and that adds a whole extra layer of befuddlement, but what type of shifter you were shouldn’t matter… unless was Yugyeom one of those shifters that didn’t like associating with predators? 

No. Surely he couldn’t be that way. 

Prey shifters didn’t often use pheromone blockers in the first place… he had to have known that you were some sort of predator… so that couldn’t be it… right? 

Surly… 

You sighed and shook your head to try to release some of the anxiety you were holding. It wasn’t good for you to hold it all in like this. There was barely any time for you to shift and relax lately and at this point. It would probably give you less stress to just find Yugyeom yourself and ask instead of dwelling on why the man hasn’t messaged you yet. You didn’t need people stress along with the regular school and shifter stress. But damn, you couldn’t stop dwelling on how stupid you were for not asking for his number in return. 

Tiredly, you picked at the dinner in front of you, your body feeling the stress building. This wasn’t how you wanted to spend your Friday. You planned to go out later in your racoon form and run around for hours on end, but now that you were thinking more about it, maybe it would be good for you to spend more time in your shifter form this weekend. You didn’t want to return home yet. The apartment was empty and while normally you enjoyed the alone time, you felt the need to be around people today. 

Maybe you could put your stuff in the shifter commons and wander around campus… although many humans didn’t enjoy seeing raccoons around so maybe it would be better if you stayed in the shifter commons so that no one got too startled by you. Most people wouldn’t bat an eye at an animal in the commons. 

After picking at some more of your food, you put your dishes in a bin for the cafeteria staff and walked off, each step making you more excited for spending some time in your animal form. Inside the shifter commons there were probably a handful of people, some half-shifted and some chilling around in their animal forms.

“Hey Yejin!” You said with a smile as you made your way to Yejin (who was staffing the common today).

“Omg! Y/n! It’s so good to see you here today! I was meaning to ask, do you think you could take my shift Monday? Jisoo asked me out and Monday works best for them.” Yejin was smiling broadly as she spoke.

“Sure. Can you watch over my stuff? I want to shift and while I can still watch over it myself, with you here, I can wander more.”

“It’s a deal!” You responded eagerly, already putting your bag under her desk, your ears excitedly popping out. 

Fairly painlessly, you shifted, your clothes falling around you as you grew smaller and smaller. As soon as you fully shifted, you felt relief flood you. In the back of your mind, there was still stress to worry about, but right now, you felt relaxed and relieved. You weazled out of your heap of clothes excitedly and watched as Yejin nudged them under the table with the rest of your stuff before running off to explore the commons. In your human form, the commons were a usual gathering place but as a raccoon, it was a jungle of excitement. Soon enough, you found yourself following your nose which had locked onto some tasty smelling food somewhere in the room. You weren’t likely going to get to eat the food but you’d be damned if you weren’t going to try. The smell led to someone you didn’t expect to see in the commons.

Yugyeom. 

He hadn’t noticed you yet though and you had half the mind to turn around and explore elsewhere when someone he was next to pointed at you and started excitedly shouting.

“A trash panda! Omg! I’ve never seen a raccoon shifter before! Omg! This is so cool!” The man kept gushing as he stood up and looked at you closely, his eyes wide.

You got a strong dog wiff coming off of him and his intensity made you freeze. The man must have gotten the hint because the next second he was whimpering and closing his eyes slowly. Part of you wanted to laugh because most shifters still understood what people were saying but another part of you was comforted at how he tried to communicate with you. Slowly you closed your eyes as well before making grabby motions with your hands. You wanted to sniff him more.

He extended one of his hands, clearly understanding what you were saying, and you sniffed him slowly. 

“Yugyeom! Come introduce yourself! It’s rude to just stare!” The man said, ushering Yugyeom to join the both of you in the ground.

Yugyeom slowly blinked at you and extended his hand which you happily sniffed, enjoying the comfort that washed over you with his smell. At this point, you were fairly positive that he knew who you were but he didn’t say anything.

“Oh! Would you be willing to at some point tonight, we will be here all night,” The man shot Yugyeom a look at that addition, “Come talk to us in your human form? I’d love to be friends with you!”

“Their name is Y/n, Jackson. We’re… we’re friends.” You relished as blush spread across his face as he spoke and nodded.

“Omg! This is the person that you were telling me--” 

“Nope! Don’t continue!”

“That you want to ask on a date?” 

Your world stopped and you felt your eyes widen in shock and excitement. 

He wanted to ask you out. 

You started to jump around and made excited squeaking noises, before you could stop yourself you jumped onto Yugyeom, excitedly scenting his arm.

Jackson started laughing happily, “I guess that means they want to go on a date with you too dude!

[rnmbb]

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a big bang?

A Big Bang/Mini-Bang is a writing challenge that prompts authors and artists to work together to create a story and work of art that go together. In this case, our fandom is the Roswell New Mexico tv show, and our goal is 5000 words or more!

How do I sign up?

When sign-ups start, there will be a Google Form link posted for you to sign-up as an Author or an Artist or Beta

What if I need to drop out?

Yes! Sometimes life gets in the way or a story just doesn’t happen, and we understand that! However, there is a cutoff point, and if you do not let the mods know before this date, you can be banned from the next round. Even if it is after this cutoff date that you need to drop out please let us know so that we can discuss options. We can’t help if we don’t know there is a problem! Dropping all contact with mods after the cutoff date is grounds for an automatic ban, as we can’t help at that point. Please get in contact with us, so that we can arrange for art if needed!

I need help/support!

Once you sign-up, you will be sent a link to the Discord Server for the Big Bang. Feel free to talk about your story here with other authors, ask questions, look for a beta, ask for advice, freak out, or any general story discussions.

Membership is open to all who want to join the big bang or are thinking about it! Watch the blog for the link post

I don’t want to join a discord server/have never used discord before 

We are making this a mandatory requirement this year. Communication is critical for the big bang to be successful, and a discord server is the best way for mods to ensure they can communicate with all participants. If you’re new to discord, the mods will help you with an introduction and navigation resources to the server. 

Writing Requirements

What type of requirements are there for a fic?

Your fic must be at least 5,000 words long and, preferably, beta-read before the posting date. It must focus on or revolve around the characters from the TV show Roswell, New Mexico. You are not required to write a certain ship or a ship at all. Your fic also has to be completed at the time of posting. All chapters must be posted on the day of posting. 

I've already been writing an RNM story - can I use that?

The purpose of this Bang is to unveil a brand-new, completed piece on your posting date, however we are okay with you finishing your piece as long as you have not posted more than 2,000 words and do not post any more until your posting date. Since this Bang has a minimum word count of 5,000 words we are asking that no more than 2,000 words be posted prior to signing up, so that at least 80% of the fic is new.

Can I write a sequel to a previous story?

Yes, but the sequel needs to be able to stand on its own. Please make sure to link to the first story so readers can read that as well.

I want to gift my big bang to someone, can I? 

Big Bangs are not gift stories or exchanges, so your big bang must stand as itself. 

What genres are allowed?

All genres are allowed as well as crossovers, as long as Roswell New Mexico characters are the main characters of the story.

I've got two ideas in my head - can I write both?

Yes, you can, as long as you think you'll be able to finish both stories by the deadline (if you submit two stories we will do our best to make sure there is a good amount of time in between the posting of each fic).

Can I write the story with someone else?

Yes, you may co-author your big bang if you want to. The word minimum however for co-authored works is 7,000.

What an artist summary? 

An artist summary is written by authors to give a summary of the fic in a holistic manner. It will include all the main ships, main plot twists, trigger warnings, and any relevant tags for the artist to make an educated choice on making art for the work. The artist summaries are anonymous and only 500 words or less. 

What should my outline look like?

A fic outline is an overview of your story. You will need to list major scenes of the story all the way from the beginning to the resolution. The outline needs to show how you plan on finish the story so the mods and artists can anticipate the story.

Can I have an extension?

We will be granting extensions on a case-by-case basis for rough drafts as long as your final fic or art is in by the due date. We would hope, however, that you use the checkpoints and all your available writing time to its fullest.

If you think at any time you need an extension (whether fic or art) contact the mods right away so we can begin working it out with you.

What do I do if I am not sure I will finish my story but still want to try?

If, by the time rough drafts are due, you aren't sure if you will be done with your story and don't want to risk having an artist claim it only to have to drop out you can switch to the Unofficial track. This will mean your story won't be put in the claims post but if you can finish it by the time final drafts are due we will arrange an artist for you and you will post with everyone else.

Artist Requirements

What are the requirements for art?

Each story an artist claims is required to have at least one art of quality for each story they claim. If an artist decides to claim 3 stories, they will be required to create one piece of art for each story, so at minimum, 3 pieces of art. 

You’re creating something for a work that is at least 5k/10k in length, so we want the art to match that effort! Here are the suggested guidelines:

Traditional/Digital art: Cleaned lineart, on unlined paper, that is at least 500x500 pixels is the minimum. Additional sketchier/rougher pieces are welcomed so long as one piece of art is at the cleaned lineart stage!

Manips: Clean renders and non-blurry images that do not contain watermarks should be used for photo manipulation. 

Banners or Icons or Wallpaper: 5 icons, of at least 100x100 pixels. 3 banners. 1 wallpaper. More is of course always welcomed!

Picspam or Gifsets: At least 6 images, but more images, or multiple sets are welcome!

Vids: At least two minutes long, or a full song!

Fanmixes: At least 10 songs and include cover art (this can be a manip!).

What is an Art Claim? 

Art claims is the process through which artists and authors are paired for the big bang. Artists will have 3 days to review summary information provided by all the authors participating in the event. The claims process is anonymous, which means the artists have no idea who wrote which fic. On claims day, artists submit their top 5 choices and are matched with their first available fic. When matches are confirmed, the mods will email each team to introduce partners to each other. 

How do I make a claim?

On claims day, artists will receive a form to submit their choices. 

What happens if the number of authors doesn't match up with the number of artists or mixers?

We will do several rounds of claiming so that EVERY fic has an artist. In the event that fics outnumber artists, we will allow artists to make a second claim. If it's the other way, we may open up the fics so that more than one artist is assigned to the same fic. Either way, everyone who wants to participate will get to participate.

Can I post my art to my blog or another site to show my friends in advance?

No, we ask that you don't preview your art to anyone before the assigned posting date. You are allowed to show it to a few friends or an art beta, to get advice or feedback before the posting date, but please don't post it for the general public until your assigned posting date.

Where can I upload my graphics?

You are free to post your graphics on your platform of choice, as long as there is a link to the art in the fic.

How will I get my graphics to my author?

We will provide you with contact information once you are committed to an author. From there you can contact them to find out more about their interests, or simply send them the links to your final mix/gifsets/art.

We would like to encourage you to be in contact with them and to share what you make for them.

Schedule

What's a check-in?

Check-ins are something to give you a feel on where a typical author should be at in their writing process. There are multiple points of communication with the mods team to share your progress, ask questions, and share any comments you need to.

ALL CHECK-INS ARE MANDATORY! This is the best way for mods to track the progress of works and ensure works will be posted on time.

Why do artists get a check-in?

The artist check-in will be mandatory. This is mostly to make sure that artists have been in contact with their authors and that they are on track. It will help us determine which stories will need pinch hitters earlier.

Posting Requirements

What types of requirements are there for me to post my fic?

You must include a header with all the regular information (title, rating, wordcount, pairing, etc.) on it. This includes warnings. Not all of our readers like the same thing, so you are required to warn them. Besides that, you must include any secondary fandom you're writing in.

Do I post my story to this community or do the mods post it?

Anywhere you wish, so long as it is also in the RNM Big Bang AO3 Collection. Posting it there is how we will count your work as completed*.

*Artists will not be required to post to AO3, though it is highly encouraged. (AO3 isn’t great for hosting some types of art, like picspam or gif sets, we understand that!) If you are not posting your art to AO3, you must make sure the link to where you art is posted is provided to the author and linked within the author notes or story.

Can I post it to my blog a few days early to show my friends?

No, the first time you show your fic for this big bang must be on your reveal day. If you post in advance please lock the post for your eyes only.

If you have any other questions, please reach out to the mods team!

[writingonjorvik]

Can We Discuss Quest Frequency?

Ok, before we start, did y’all not want 5000 SC? Because I’ve had a giveaway running since Monday and only one person has entered?! Seriously? Y’all get on it.

But on a serious note, we’re going to be talking about the results from this poll, and like always the poll will continue to run after this analysis is out. But I wanted to do this today because of the changes that came out to the Horse Market.

So to start, I can get why SSO would want to stop having the Horse Market. By being stationary, it makes these horses accessible and it gives SSO somewhere where they can always fit more horses instead of terraforming more of the environment and I can appreciate that. It also means there’s not this continuing source of EXP that will continue to push veteran players to levels unavailable to everyone else, but that’s also got its own problems and we’re going to break into that.

So to start, now that the horse market is done, that’s a lot of exp that’s now unavailable to new players, meaning access to players for those higher levels is going to be harder, if possible (there was a lot of horse market exp over the years). But this also highlights the problems in SSO’s leveling system. With a lowered pool of exp, there’s a wider gap in player level and with things like championships were a level 22 player can race a level 5 (I did), that’s not a fair matching system, and there’s less to do to close it. I mean, there’s a whole other topic here about championships being seriously improved by making more groups and only putting in same level players to make the races fair. But exp access and SSO’s apparent fear of giving it out/increasing level caps isn’t really the point of this.

No, I think the bigger issue with removing the horse market is it means less people are going to get on, which is bad for an MMO. MMOs are, despite the about a quarter of y’all according to my other poll running right now, advertised on having a lot of players. And SSO already has a low player retention compared to other MMOs (400,000 of 12,000,000 before accounting for multiple accounts). But to remove a bi-weekly event removes another reason for players to get on.

Start with the basics of this survey.

Two thirds of y’all said you got on daily when you had quests.

But that drops down to only 6.4% when there aren’t quests. That’s an insane drop! Nearly half of y’all said if you don’t have quests you only get on when you have something to do. That’s not a frequency, that’s a guess and it could be anywhere in a wide spectrum of times. But it does mean that the more often SSO puts out quests, the more often that is.

I’m gonna go through these next three quick.

To be fair, I think the original wording of the last one might have skewed my data. I didn’t mean how often should SSO make new events or how often should they repeat (duh, holiday events should happen once a year), I meant how often should one be happening. Regardless, I’m going to use the data as it was collected.

A massive amount of y’all think story quests need to be happening more often, and considering that SSO is a story driven game, I don’t disagree. I think the majority “Quarterly” release here is fair, and it is something SSO seems to be working towards. But that shouldn’t be the only quests! Over 70% of y’all think smaller side quests need to me added at least monthly, if not more often. And y’all think events should be running quarterly to monthly in a pretty big majority.

But it’s not just about quests being more often, it’s about continuing to have something to do.

Nearly 90% of entrants said quests need to be longer than a day. It’s not just about things coming out more often, it’s about continuing to have something to do. And whether you think events, general, or story quests need to be longer respectively, length is the fourth biggest priority for all interests in new quests, bigger than new areas to explore.

Y’all didn’t really see to care about seeing new things outside of areas to explore, and since SSO’s also pretty big on exploration, kinda makes since. But based on y’all’s results, you care more about worldbuilding in story and generally having fun for a longer period of time than needing new assets, which for a game, is great! If you’re fine with reusing assets, that should mean less development time for the devs. They largely need to write story, not create new set pieces.

But it can also be repetitive and y’all agreed resoundingly on that.

You guys want dailies back, though with some updates. Dailies having a story purpose was behind dailies being fair and having a balanced progression and then having a reward for finishing them. Dailies like your popular favorites, any of the druid quests, the Rescue Ranch, or the Kalters, where they take a fair amount of time and immediately reward you with something for doing the daily, like a quest, a horse, or a new area.

What I think is frustrating is that nearly all of you either said fishing or the Sunfield Hens as your least favorite dailies, but SSO makes jokes about it. Sure, having a reward like an achievement makes these dailies more bearable, but there’s still a stupid amount of slog and y’all still said you hated these dailies even after those achievements were out. For SSO to hold these two (a super minority of all of their dailies) as the standard that dailies are and the reason they don’t add more is, frankly, just nonsense. Further, the fact that they have done nothing to make these more enjoyable is beyond me. Just rebalance them. Make the hens stay still longer. Take away the “Good try” in fishing. Besides the point.

The overwhelming evidence from y’all’s feedback is that while quality matters, having something, even minute, is better than nothing. And for a game that runs itself on the idea of having people online, it is in their best interest to have something to do for their players, a reason to get online, even for a fractional amount of time.

Look, quests obviously take time to make and I never think quests should be put out at a rate that makes them poor or puts crunch on the devs, but if the majority of your game is focused around story, then more story should be added. If that’s padded for a month by a fun, unique daily (like the Sun Circle was), most of y’all are fine with that. It’s a reason to get on and be playing this game we all love, even if it’s not for hours on end. And until SSO gives us easier access to making secondary characters (which they really should will all these branching stories), then they need to encourage more people to be getting on their accounts more often.

And that’s all the time I have to break this down. The data is all available, so y’all extrapolate what you can and I’m going to think about how cool a daily where a randomly generated horse appears at the rescue ranch every week and you have to take care of them, or rival group dailies where to max you have to make peace with both (like between the Bobcats and Bulldogz) but until then helping one looses favor in the other, or organizing the library to find books on Jorvik’s magic and past with Linda. There’s so much there and it doesn’t have to be big or complicated and still be able to add on the game.

[mxnark]

CONVEX - ADORE U - COVER

5000 mina

Recommended for you! 

it's been a rough couple of days since she had gotten the notification.

since then, there have been other updates from other colleges about her applications to them. some were yes, few were no's, but she only cared about the one waitlisted since she knew her parents would be the one to care about it the most about that school. after all, it was the best in the country. even if she didn't have much opinion on it, she wanted to at least get accepted from the school as a way to let her parents know she's good on her own. if she lets them know of her acceptance, maybe her mother would stop being so overbearing. whether or not that was possible, she wants to convince herself that she'll at least get less pressure if she showed that she was good enough somehow.

as she reads articles for an answer on what to do in this situation, she sees the common psa that every article says. being waitlisted does not mean no. do not give up all hope yet. it was easier said than done, not to mention it didn't exactly mean a yes either and that's what they care about in the end. she doesn't even bother trying to stare at the status after she got it. she's afraid to be reminded of her own failure, nor does she want to reflect on her own faults that led to this decision.

she didn't think she was bad at hiding emotions because her parents had never pointed it out. however, she was clearly not doing as well as she would since chohee, one of her friends, pulls her out of their literature class when she was busy thinking about the whole situation again. the both of them arrive at the bathroom, making sure no one was in there but the both of them.

"what's up with you?" chohee asks her. "you don't look seem like yourself."

mina frowns at the accusation. "what do you mean?"

"you're usually more excited during this class," she explains herself. "you didn't even say your response to the prompt allowed. you always do that."

"i'm just," she sighs, "tired. i'm tired."

she tilts her head. "what do you mean by tired? did you get enough sleep or-"

"i don't know!" she answers abruptly. "i didn't get much sleep, but there's also a lot going on in my head, okay? i'm just tired of everything happening to me."

there's a short silence that follows after she speaks. "do you want to talk about it?" she asks.

no point in hiding it from her since they were practically taking some minutes away from class because of it. "snu waitlisted me."

"that's not a big deal," chohee replies immediately, making mina frustrated. "being waitlisted doesn't mean that they don't want you."

"but it doesn't mean i'm guaranteed to be there, either!" she argues. "being waitlisted means that i'm not guaranteed a spot unless someone ends up falling out of it. it means that i'm not a priority." she looks down at the ground, the frustration of the situation making her more upset than it should. she didn't want to look up at her friend while she was crying. it would make her feel immature. "that i'm not good enough." she whispers.

"well, kang mina's not the best at everything, is she?" she asks. "you don't have to the picture-perfect student in order to get a spot there."

"then why do i have to wait to get it?" she asks, still looking away from the girl in front of her.

"because shit like this takes time, mina and you need to remind yourself that." she has a point, but it's not something that makes mina feel better. "all you can do now is wait for them to say what will happen next."

mina decides not to respond to that, afraid that if she says one more word, she'll probably bawl her eyes out. she didn't want to show a moment of vulnerability to a friend who has only seen her as the tough girl she comes off to be. she wants to say 'my parents will make me feel like shit for this.' 'how long will i have to wait until i get an answer that i want?' 'what will i do with my life knowing that my mom will never leave me alone because i'm not the bare minimum of who she wants me to be?'

chohee must have noticed this because she continues to talk. "if it makes you feel any better, i don't know exactly where i'm going either."

it doesn't do anything big, but it does catch mina's attention.

"i've only sent a few applications and more of them were rejections than they were at least waitlisted," she continues. "not to mention, i only applied to those schools because my dad told me i should. i was actually thinking of taking a gap year in order to make more money for even just community college."

it takes away the urge to cry, but she still doesn't feel like looking up at her. not yet.

"but i also want to take that one year to learn more about myself, you know?" she says with optimism, something mina thought was admirable. "i don't exactly know what i want to do with my life yet and i want to be able to get some time to actually think about what i want to do rather than write papers about some random thing at the top of my head, you know? and i know two guys from the theatre department that are taking a gap year to focus more on theatre. probably to add experience or more service hours. but either way, it's more added time to help you figure everything out."

mina looks up finally, feeling a bit calmer to talk to the other now. "are you telling me i should think about taking a gap year?"

she shakes her head. "it's a suggestion," she corrects her. "i know your mom is super strict since you basically talk about her as if she was a witch." that earns a snort from mina. "but, even so, you'll legally be an adult by the time it's decision day and it's ultimately your life in the end, not hers."

she shrugs. "i mean, i guess." she's already aware of the fact, as shown through her arguments with her mother about how the latter always bothers her about her future. it's the fact that it won't be easy to convince her about that decision since she'll be lucky if she's left with just an argument and a "go to your room!" and after not so recent events, she's not even sure if she wants to unleash her mother's full wrath. she's already experienced 100%, but she doesn't want to face her mother's rage being over 9000.

"i'll think about it," mina decides finally. "but thank you for talking to me."

chohee smiles and pulls her friend into a hug. "anytime. it's all up to you, though. remember that."

there's an obvious fake smile on her face when they pull back. "don't remind me."

the both of them laugh and mutually agree to head back to class. when they arrive back at the classroom, they see that the majority of them are just on their phones if not talking to the teacher about something. they both walk back to their seats and chohee's the one to ask what's going on.

the one person in their table group but not friend group answers that question. "one of us complained that she was teaching us too much for the day, so she decided to chill out and give us all a break."

mina couldn't believe what she was hearing. "no offense, but that sounds really stupid."

"hey, if it's free time, i'm not complaining," gaon, one of the girls in her friend group, responds to that, earning a nod of agreement from chohee.

there was no use in complaining about it because it does sound like a luxury. mina quickly takes out her phone and earbuds to distract herself with her favorite hobby: watching multiple videos on youtube. she would go to twitter, but she doesn't really have that much to talk about that will be entertaining to her mutuals. she'd go on instagram, but she didn't want to be bombarded with reminders about how everyone else in the school has gotten accepted into a university when she has not (regardless if it's on her rinsta or finsta, she knows she'll see at least one post about it if not on someone's story). plus, if it's youtube, who knows where she'll find herself?

she looks through her subscriptions to see a few new videos. however, one that definitely caught her eye was a new video from one of her favorite dancers. however, what interested her more was that it was a dance cover. when she clicks on it to watch the video, she had a lot of thoughts on her mind. 1. this dance is super basic and she didn't understand the multitude of comments saying "OMG QUEEN YOU'RE SO FAST 😱😱😱😱" , "YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE A MEMBER OF THIS GROUP SINCE YOU POST VIDEOS AT SONIC SPEED OMGGGGGGG!!!!!!!", and other ridiculous comments coming from an audience of middle schoolers or younger; 2. it reminded her of the fact that it's been a while since she actually got around to learning a new dance and actually performing it for a group of people and that fact alone made mina think more than she should. she thought a lot about how back in the day, she always made attempts of making cover videos, only to feel discouraged because she had a hunch that no one was going to notice it in the end anyway. but, to be fair, that was during a time where she had no friends and a lower self-esteem and she likes to think that she's somewhat improved a little more since then, thanks to the support of her friends.

all of a sudden, she gets an idea and she quickly taps on gaon's desk to get her attention from her game. gaon pauses the game and looks up at mina curiously. "you have a gym membership, right?"

"...yes," she answers with slightly squinted eyes, her voice sounding as if she was getting suspicious of her friend. "why?"

"i have a plan and i need to tell you and the rest of the group during lunchtime, but it involves going to the gym afterwards."

"are you finally thinking of working out as a hobby?"

that catches her off track. "wh- no. i'll tell you more about it later."

gaon shrugs. "alright. since it's friday."

mina smiles. "thank you, queen."

"no problem, weirdo," she answers before she gets back to playing her game.

mina expected her friends to think it was a good idea to start posting content on her own youtube channel. she's lucky that she has yet to post anything on there yet, as she mainly uses the website to watch her favorites.

"i need a distraction to get my mind off of the stress in my life," was her reason. though she was sure they would be up for the idea even if she didn't have a valid one.

"i think we all need a distraction to get our mind off of the stress in our lives," daeun says, gaining everyone's laughter as a response.

truth be told, this idea has been in the back of her head for a while now. she's thought about it since she moved back to korea. but due to the lack of friends at the time, she only thought of it as a thing to think about often. but the older she gets, the more she considers the option. but it was during lunchtime where she was making a channel layout with her friends that she decided she was going to do it.

so she stands in an empty gym studio that her rich friend gaon asked to borrow for the occasion, the rest of her friends either behind the dslr camera or to the sides where they were not seen on the monitor.

"i'm shocked you're learned this choreo despite all the workload we've had," daeun comments. "not that i'm complaining though since it's convex."

"why this song anyway?" gaon asks.

"the more recent the song, the more attention it gets," mina answers. "plus it's cute. it sounds really fun."

"fair," gaon nods.

mina looks over at chohee who stands at the side with a phone and portable speaker in her hands. she shows fives fingers before an okay symbol to check if the other was ready. when she gets a thumbs up, she goes into position by walking to the little bit of tape on the ground that she freshly placed, crosses her arms, and looks down from the camera.

"one, two, three," gaon clicks on the record button. she looks over at chohee, continuing the countdown by mouthing the next three numbers. "four, five, six." at six, the music plays.

one of the best things about living in a strict house is how when she's home alone, she's able to lipsync to her favorite songs to herself because if she goes any louder, she knows her mother will basically lecture her until mina's ears fall off. having had this song play constantly on repeat thanks to gaon, she was able to get some of the words in her head since she was not shy to singing at the top of her lungs in her car. so she lipsyncs them to the best of her ability. even if she messed up, it wasn't like the people were going to point it out. she's going to be a dance channel, not a lipsync one.

the dance comes to her naturally. though she uses the little reminders in her brain for certain parts of the song, she's able to do the rest with muscle memory thanks to her practicing whenever her parents were out. when she was learning it before she got the notification, she only thought about showing it to her friends. but with this? it was like gracefully patting two birds on the head with one stone (she does not condone animal violence at all). there's a smile on her face when she does the moves and it's not only for show since the song is about love and the group members had smiles on their faces when doing this dance. it's been a few months since she's had an audience to perform for, even if this one was a bit smaller than it was in the past (half the school to be exact since she'd only perform for school performances). but no matter the people, it just felt relieving to be able to dance again after weeks of stress breakdowns over upcoming assignments she procrastinated on, tests she barely studied for, or recommendation letters that have yet to be sent by her teachers. she was able to relax, even if she wanted this dance to be perfect.

the chorus finally hits and that's perhaps her favorite part of the song and choreography overall. when she jumps off the ground, she imagines herself like mario hitting a question block with the top of his head while simultaneously pushing away a paragoomba, even if that's never happened in the classic games before and she isn't throwing her hat at one. nonethless, her imagination is key when it comes to this dance. she taps her chest to match the consonants of "내 말-" before bringing her arms above her head to hit each other at "-은", kicking out her left leg as she does so. and when she goes down on both feet for a second before standing straight to continue the dance? she'd be lying if she said she didn't find that absolutely satisfyingly cool. whoever choreographed this deserves her highest praises.

she ignores the little giggles from her friends when there comes parts where simply just stands, such as at the beginning of the rap bit in the bridge. there's no reason to why she does it besides the fact that she didn't really choose one member to focus on for the choreo. it was just a bunch of them really. if they were in the center, she was most likely going to follow along with their moves.

when the song reaches its end and she bends down on one knee to mark it, she pants as she waits for gaon to click on the record button. when she does, she falls to the ground in relief and her friends begin to cheer for her before they all collectively each take off one of their shoes and throw it at her, making her squeal in response. as she covers her head and laughs along with them, she quickly stands up and walks to the camera, clicking on the gallery button to see the footage. however, the longer she looks at it, the more she cringes.

"can we do that again?" she asks, disappointment and exhaustion in her voice. everyone collectively groans, but they comply because they understand that she wants to make a good first impression on the internet.

she's never really understood the struggle with video editors until now. before this, she would only use imovie for group projects with her friends and even then, she was doing the bare minimum with what was given to her. but considering that this was going to be a normal thing for her, she'll have to learn to do it more often.

inserting the sd card onto her macbook, she looks at all the six takes of her doing the dance, half of them being less than the whole song due to her making small mistakes halfway during the choreography that frustrated her to the point she groaned about it before giving up and wanting to restart the whole thing. it was an exhausting process, but she knows that she'll have to get used to it in the end. unlike school performances, she doesn't have time to perfect the dance until she finally records it. and while her impatience makes it difficult for her to accept it, she'll have to take it as an opportunity to learn how to be more tolerant of this.

the sixth take is probably her favorite though since it was the latest and best version, as it was the result of her sharpening her moves and preventing herself from forgetting what to do at certain parts of the choreography. when she imports the clip onto the project, she takes the audio of "adore u" next and she actually bought it with her own money instead of using a youtube mp3 converter site. that's a mina point for being a decent human being!

now was the harder part: syncing the song with clip. truth be told, she's never actually done this part before, but she was told by a senior last year that if she were to ever consider making cover videos on instagram (ha!), she'd probably have difficulty syncing the video with the audio on a phone editor. she supposes she's lucky in this case since this is on desktop, but she doesn't know if that will make this process any easier for her.

with a pair of headphones and a lot of determination, she gets to work, shortening the take a little at the beginning to make sure that it would make the job of syncing it easier, she drags the audio file below the video and clicks play to hear how it sounds, only to be greeted with the sound of echoing. when she hears it for the first time, she frowns and clicks stop after hearing a good three seconds of it. she quickly zooms into the project to try and see if she can spot the same waveforms and match them up together. it doesn't take long until she plays the audio again and hears a slight little echo. this was beginning to get a little frustrating so she tries to move it up one more time and thankfully, she managed to do it.

however, despite the good (not great, but it's not too bad) lighting of the gym studio, she still feels like the video looked a little bland. it didn't help with the fact that she was working with probably one of the most basic video editors. she should be at least a little grateful that she even has a video editor and that it's not as bad as movie maker, otherwise she'd have to suffer from cringy nostalgia from the fonts. but when she goes through the filters and sees how they look with the video, she realizes that she doesn't... really have anything but what she's already put down already.

it's nothing to worry about though since being upset about it wasn't really going to lead her anywhere. all she can do is take a good screenshot of her first position and make it the cover photo with photoshop and hope that it'll at least get someone's attention on the website. after taking the screenshot, she mutes the video to only get the music as the audio for the whole thing.

it's done! and it didn't take that long either! relieved with how simple it was (for now), she clicks on the button on the export button and clicks on the export button immediately, not even bothering to give a creative name for the file because it's the least of her worries for now. as she waits for it to export, she goes on twitter to look at what's going on with her mutuals and favorite celebrities. liking reality show clips and quoting some with a keyboard smash because she apparently thinks they are so funny despite the straight face she keeps while watching it.

when the imovie notification appears in the corner, she quickly looks at it excitedly only to see an upsetting message.

exporting "my movie" has failed.

"bullshit!" she whispers to herself, going back on the editor and attempting to export it again to see if it will show anything else. she goes back on the internet shortly after, continuing to go through her timeline when the message pops up again!

at this point, she's going to pull out her hair! she goes to the finder app and selects a bunch of random pictures she saved from twitter and puts them in the trash, majority of them being images of her biases so she won't deny that it hurts her a little. after she empties the "apple trashcan", she goes back to export it for the third time and rather than going back on twitter, she stays on the app so she can watch the progress circle load and finally get her video exported.

it takes a little longer to export this time, which gives her a little bit of hope as she sees the circle slowly filling up. but right before it could even fill the whole thing, it disappears and she is about to lose her mind when she sees the popup once again. all of my efforts. all of my pictures that i could've kept forever. all of them are gone because this stupid editor thinks i'm a clown! beginning to be even more frustrated, she goes back to her finder to delete the barely finished drafts of the video, even more downloaded pictures, and one game that she barely touched after finishing it to throw it all in the empty digital bin. when she clears the trash once again, hearing the sound of crumpling paper in both of her ears, she exports the video, this time taking the opportunity to title it with something: if this video does not export, i WILL eat you.

it's one more segment of staring at the circle as it slowly fills up and when she sees it being completed, she lets out a sigh of relief. finally! four times! it took four times! if she ends up having to do any more times than that in the future, she'll probably get more gray hairs than both her mom and her dad combined.

not wanting to waste any more of her time by having to deal with her stupid laptop, she opens up photoshop, takes the screenshot, and chooses a random font before writing "adore u" in a bigger size than "convex" in a smaller one. it doesn't look like it could blend in with the lighting, so she calls it a day as she saves the image and goes on youtube to upload it.

she could be a bit more descriptive with the description, but she wants to be professional (for now) since it is her first video. so in the description, she simply leaves her instagram username and her twitter username because she wants the minimal clout for the one random person who wasn't her friend to follow her on both. before she could press the publish video, she remembers to drop a few hashtags on the bottom. #CONVEX #ADOREU #ADOREUCOVER #KPOP

when she clicks the publish video, she closes her laptop and stretches her arms, letting out a big sigh from all the "work" she did. she'll plug the video on her local twitter and her ig story later but for now? she was going to chill out and bingewatch fruits basket (the new one).

[dailyaudiobible]

10/04/2019 DAB Transcript

Jeremiah 2:31-4:18, Colossians 1:1-17, Psalms 76:1-12, Proverbs 24:21-22

Today is the 4th day of October. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It is great to be here with you today as we continue our journey through the Scriptures this year. And as we transition into this new month, we've been doing a little bit of transition as we close and open new books, so we concluded the book of Isaiah and began the book of Jeremiah yesterday while at the same time concluding Paul's letter to the Philippians yesterday. So, we’ll continue our journey in Jeremiah but when we get to the New Testament portion of our reading, we’ll begin a new letter, Paul's letter to the Colossians, but first we're reading from the Christian Standard Bible. Jeremiah chapter 2 verse 31 through 4 verse 18 today.

Introduction to the book of Colossians:

Okay. So, as we just mentioned a little bit ago we’re entering another of Paul's letters today. This is the 12th book, although not all of the writings in the New Testaments are books per se. This is the 12th distinct different writing that we’re encountering in the New Testament and it’s written by the apostle Paul to the Colossians. So, this city, Colossae wasn't unfamiliar Paul. It was a city maybe a hundred miles from Ephesus. And Ephesus is a place that Paul spent a lot of time, several years. And archaeologists have found the ruins of ancient Colossae in the western part of what is now modern-day Turkey. But even though they’ve been identified, and this is true in lots of places in Israel as well, even though they’ve been…you know…there's been like some preliminary digging and research there hasn't been…like Colossae is not a ruin that you can go and get an interpreted visit to, but during Paul's life Colossae wasn't an abandoned ruin. It was a cultural stew, a lot of mingling of philosophical and religious ideas. And, so, a lot of that had kind of made its way as a part of the conversation into the Colossian church. And, so, Paul's letter was written as a response. And just like Ephesians and Philippians, the letters that we’ve just recently concluded, Colossians for the most part is considered to be another of Paul's letters that were written from prison in Rome while he was waiting…awaiting an audience…a trial before the Emperor. And this letter to the Colossians kind of…kind of breaks down into two sections. The first part of the letter is his doctrinal in nature. So, there are people who that come into the church who were teaching a form of angelic worship and other rituals. And Paul addressed this by basically reiterating that Jesus is supreme over everything, over all of creation. I mean, He wrote that the universe itself was created by and through Jesus and is sustained and continues to exist through His Lordship. So, he’s been pretty clear that worshiping lesser things, right? I mean, same story. Like we've been through the story so many times in the Bible and yet don't we find ourselves turning to so many other things for life. So, it’s still a problem that we deal with today. But then Paul also addressed the circumcised versus uncircumcised controversy that…well…it seems to show up in most of the letters to different…to differing degrees. And this issue would find its way to Colossae and as usual, Paul shared his views about the matter. So, we have the benefit…like we’re reading these letters in succession…we have the benefit of a collection of Paul's letters, so it allows us to see the different challenges and for that matter the different victories and encouragements of the early church because Paul's…well because the issues are common and Paul's writing individual letters to a lot of people where a lot of the same territory is covered. The thing is, even though we can see this being common in the early church, these challenges are still with us in one form or another. So, as we read Paul's letters, we can also experience growth and correction in our own lives, provided that we kinda understand the context of what's going on. So, understanding the Colossians was written by a man awaiting a life or death judgment, like the other prison letters, allow them to carry some weight, some gravity. Colossians is a magnificent testimony to the Lordship of Jesus in our lives and…and because of that Lordship the implications, the overwhelming reality of what that Lordship offers to humanity, to all who believe. And, so, we begin. Colossians chapter 1 verses 1 through 17 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for bringing us into the conclusion of another week and we thank You for transitioning us this week into new territory, from Isaiah to Jeremiah, from Philippians to Colossians. Holy Spirit as we continue this territory through books of prophecy and these letters of the apostle Paul we ask that You would continue to be a lamp for our feet, a light to our path, that You would lead us on the narrow path that leads to life, that You would lead us into all truth as You promised. And, so plant these words that we’ve read deep into our lives today and may our hearts be fertile soil so that the fruit of the Spirit can grow freely. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, its the website, its where you find out what’s going on around here.

And one of the biggest things that we have ever offered, ever had to offer, one of the greatest resources that represents the Daily Audio Bible, probably the greatest resource that represents the Daily Audio Bible that I can even think of is what's going on around here...and it's got a name - The One Year Adventure with the God of Your Story. And I’ve talked about it for a couple of days. This is a…basically a written version of the kinds of things that we talk about every day here on the Daily Audio Bible as we reflect on what it is that we have read. And, so, I mean this was a desire probably showing up on my radar a decade ago, but not like a burning desire like this has gotta be done now, but it became that way and I talked all about that in the fireside chat a couple days ago. And once I started writing I thought, you know, this would be fairly…it’s gonna be time-consuming, but it's gonna be a breeze, but it wasn't a breeze. It was…it was hard-fought every single day because…just because you can say something doesn't mean you can write it and trying to go back and work through, you know, 13 years of what you’ve said for every single given day and find a path and then rework that so that it reads instead of something that you would listen to became very, very long project, 600 days of writing. And I don’t mean like 600 days like over the course of, you know, 10 years. I mean 600 days over the course of two years. So, pretty much writing every day for two years on this…on this project and I gave it my all. I mean, this is something that represents us, this is something that came from us, this is what we do here as a community every day. And, so, I gave it my best. And I mean, I can truly say, yes, what we do on a the Daily Audio Bible, I don't know why…I don't know why that the Lord has allowed us to be here doing this but I'm very, very grateful and I’ve been at this for like 5000 days now. So, I’ve seen that what God is doing through it is very very fruitful and I believe that that will be true of the God of Your Story as well because reading it in written form as well as hearing it with your ear…like this is very strong stuff for the person who's wanting to go through the Bible in a year, which is…which is what we do here at the Daily Audio Bible. So, as I’ve mentioned over the last couple of days it is a memorial to all that God has done in and through all of us as we’ve been a part of this community over the years. It represents us to the world and it is my prayer, my earnest prayer that everyone in this community will have it and that's a tedious little thing to say because it can very…be easily construed like I want everybody to have it because it's going to do something for me but it’ not. I have given myself to this project and I have given everything that we would sell through the Daily Audio Bible shop, everything is being given back to this community. Like, I am in this all the way because I am so grateful to even be here. So, the God of Your Story I think is a treasure, at least in terms of the Daily Audio Bible and the Daily Audio Bible community but is also a resource that is directly supporting the efforts of keeping this going every single day. And, so, it's my prayer that everyone who’s listening to me can have a copy of this. It’s available at dailyaudiobible.com in the Daily Audio Bible shop. You can go to godofyourstory.com and it will take you there. As I mentioned yesterday, my other latest two books, Reframe and Sneezing Jesus, those are available for five dollars each, as many of them as you want while supplies last when you get the God of Your Story. And this is…this is as inexpensive as we’ll ever be able to make these resources. This is what it costs. I pray you will take advantage of that.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that dailyaudiobible.com as well. There's a link on the homepage or there’s a button in the app in the upper right-hand corner and it just says, “Give” or the mailing address, if you prefer, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

As always, we’re a community, we’re just talking about this, we’re a community and yes we go through the Scriptures together every day, it’s the rhythm of our lives and we talk about it but we also pray for one another and it's…it’s another one of those things where you look at it and go, “how did this happen?” And yet brothers and sisters who are all over the world who may never, ever, ever share space like in the same room in this life reach out in Spirit and pray for one another and actually care about the stories. And, so, if you’re shouldering burdens that you shouldn’t be carrying by yourself, then reach out. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can reach out as easily as just pushing the Hotline button, the little red button up at the top. Start talking. Or if you prefer to call the…I was gonna say the mailing address…the phone number is 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good evening family this is Michaela from Gloucester in the UK and it is Monday the 30th of September and I want to say a big thank you to Larry because…because you were lifting up and the lady from the UK who is going through a work issue and because I’m a lady in the UK going through a work issue. I kind of took that prayer for myself. But thank you for your prayers for Abby in London. And then thank you so much for your prayers about Christians in Europe and also for Brexit in the UK because I’ve been praying my hair out, scratching my head not knowing what to do with the whole situation and the only thing I have been able to do is pray and we do value your prayers so much. And…and yeah…Abby from London, if I’ve got your name wrong, I apologize but because I’ve been going through my own work issue I’ve…all…many of us if not all of us have been lifting you up in prayer and you are not alone and God is with you and He will get you through this. And I have a praise report myself. I had a big meeting this morning. So, that’s why Larry, your…your prayers really hit the spot because I needed that encouragement this morning and it went well, best possible outcome really. I still have a job and there’s still a lot of things I need to be working on, but I’ve got that opportunity. And, yes, and also another praise report. You guys prayed for a Bible study I was leading quite a few years ago now and one of the girls has been…she’s grown-up now…I think about 18, 19 now, but she’s been coming along to church regularly on a Sunday. So, thank you so much for your prayers for her. I hope you have a good day. Bye.

Hi this is Rachel. I wanted to pray for Carl. Dear God, please help Carl to feel Your love and to feel like he is important and that his life has value. Please help him to find his place and to be able to turn his life around and become, you know, more stable and on his feet. Please bless him financially, you know, let him know that You hear his prayers and that You are a true living God and not an empty, you know, an empty idol or something, that You do love him and You do care about him and You do answer prayer. So, please I want to lift Carl up. Please get rid of his depression, you know, just take it away completely and give him new life and a new Spirit and…and turn things around for him. And Carl I just want to let you know that there are, you know, listeners from the Daily Audio Bible that…that do pray, we do here your prayers. Sometimes they’re not aired after the…the readings and they’re aired in the community prayer, but we are still here and we’re listening and we’re praying for you.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family this is B calling from Dublin. I’m a two-year listener I think on my third year now actually. I’ve never really called in as often as I would’ve loved to. And, so, this is maybe my third time of calling in. I just felt the need to first of all give a shout out and prayers to the people who call in so regularly and pray for us all, people like Biola from Maryland, Blind Tony, Victoria Soldier, Slave of Jesus, Pastor Gene. You know, I love you and I thank you for all the prayers that you pray for the community for individuals. I just want to encourage you that your labor of love has not gone unnoticed by God and I just feel in my Spirit this morning and this is why I’m calling, to pray over your lives an anointing of the ease, that you have an anointing of the ease over many projects and things and tasks that you may have to accomplish in the next couple of days, that you will receive peace from God and peace of God wherever you go and indeed in your lives nothing shall be missing, nothing shall be broken. Also, overall, Brian and Jill, I pray the same for you. You are the orchestrator of all of us coming together at this Global Campfire as you like to call it. So, thank you so much for answering the call of God, for obeying to put up the Daily Audio Bible. And thank you for allowing us to follow you as you follow Christ. Finally, I just wanted to say to everyone else, if I’ve not mentioned you it’s not because your less important, I just, you know, don’t…don’t remember all the names. But if you do have a connection to this family and you’ve fed from this family I believe you should give to this family…

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Prophetic Intercessor from North Carolina. I haven’t called in such a long time, but I’m determined to finish out the year strong with DAB. I was calling specifically to lift up caregivers. I was talking to an aunt of mine caring for her sister, which is another aunt and she was so weary and so tired and so downtrodden. And then this morning when I listened to the prayer…prayers on October 1st there was another lady who was talking about taking care of her 94-year-old mother. So, I just want to lift up caregivers this morning. Father in the name of Jesus I come before you to lift up every caregiver in the Daily Audio Bible community. I bring them before you now God and I ask that you would endow them with supernatural strength and comfort on today. God, I ask that the angels would be dispatched into their homes God, to breath a fresh wind of air through that home Lord that would bring encouragement, that would bring peace. God, in the name of Jesus I break off every spirit of heaviness of weariness of depression and oppression. And God, I pray that you would exchange that for your peace, exchange it for your strength, exchange it for your comfort. And where they’ve been failing in the hearts oh God, I pray that you would renew them Lord for you said in your word that they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall walk and not grow weary, they shall run and not faint. And God and I pull down eagles wings this morning to attach to their backside God. Send angels into their room God to breathe healing upon them, not only upon their loved ones but upon them God. I come against every manner of sickness and disease and I apply the stripes of Jesus Christ and I pray that the healing balm of Gilead would touch you today and touch your loved one from the crown of their heads to the soles of their feet. Be encouraged. Know that God is the lifter of her head and the strength of your days and He is your dwelling place in all generations. May the…

Hi guys this is Gerta calling from Germany again. I wanted to share a way way beautiful story with you. Today I went to the __. I took my bike and __ station and I fixed it there with a chain that it holds and nobody can take. And on the other side as I waited for the __ I saw a little man going down and doing something on a screw and I went over and asked him what he’s doing there. And he said, “I’ve seen it a few times.” And he’s all by himself. He really really really must be fixing it for me. And I thought that’s so lovely. And the issue was I knew the holder for the protection of the chain over the bike was one screw was lose and I thought, where do I get this screw and how it can affect said. And, so, I want to say thank you Jesus. God is taking care little little small things in unexpected moments where you don’t really think on it and I don’t really believe that somebody’s interested and still know how to fix it or because I didn’t want to buy 30 of 50 screw only to fix one. And, so, thinking about where do I get i? God takes care of little things. Trust Him in moments we don’t expect Him. So, okay thanks again for the program. I enjoyed it with the poems from Blind Tony and stay blessed. So, thank you. Have a wonderful time speak to you soon. Bye. Thanks, Brian for everything

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Megan from California just wanted to call and to thank you all for your prayers for my marriage. I’ve been just so blown away. I’m blessed. It’s still just an ongoing battle and struggle but I really feel the presence of the Lord and I just so appreciate you all lifting me up. I wanted to share an incredible story of the Lord’s love despite a very difficult destructive marriage. On the 27th of September my husband called me while I was listening to the Daily Audio Bible and as you know if you’re listening on the app it interrupts the DAB. And I took the call and it was really damaging conversation and really destructive. And, so, when the call ended it picked right back up. And September 27th, you know, we were reading through the passage in Ephesians of wives submitting to their husbands and husbands loving their wives and Brian’s commentary, I felt like he was speaking to me and it was just so encouraging when he says, you know why wives, we talked about husband’s being Jesus to their wives and then he says wives, you know, let’s think about sacrifice. I wrote it down. His commentary was so good. That’s what Jesus did for you. Not every woman in this world but you…you His desire and love compelled Him forward. He loved you that much. That’s how much you are loved and that’s how you are to submit to your husbands as you would to the Lord which does not mean you are supposed to be abused. That’s not how Jesus treats you. That’s not how you’re supposed to be treated. That’s not God’s intention for you. What’s being revealed here is that if your husband is loving you as Christ loved the church then you have a have to respond to that respectfully as you would to Jesus. And I just am so thankful for Brian’s commentary, for this app, and how does just this community’s love…

[trulymightypotato]

I Won’t Finish NaNo, and That’s Okay

I started NaNoWriMo this month with the full intention of hitting 50,000 words by the end of the month. I had an outline, I knew scenes I wanted to write, I knew a decent amount of character information and personality and world information. I could do this. I’ve done this, and won, three times before.

As it stands, I am 21,000 words behind schedule. There’s simply no way I can write that much in one day, and I know that.

And it’s okay.

I was doing okay at first. I didn’t always hit the 1667 words every day, but I got within 20 or so words. A few days, I even got more words.

And then I had a bad day. I only managed 500 words. I went “It’s okay, it’s bound to happen,” and picked myself back up and went even harder on it.

And then I had three days where I was barely able to write. Like, one word a day.

I picked myself up again and braced myself for the worst of it and wrote again, pushing myself as far as I could go. And in those days, I wrote a day of 5000 words and a day of 3000 words--absolutely fantastic, right?

Nope.

See, this entire month, I’ve been pushing off the things I needed to do, from making various appointments to chores to regular videos to art to finishing the gifts for my cousin’s wedding that I’ve been working on for several months. And I told myself it was worth it, because at the end of the month, I’d end up with a shiny new book. It was only for the month, things would be fine.

They weren’t.

The pressure and anxiety from those uncompleted tasks kept building on me over the month, and I felt guilty for not doing them. But when I went to do them, I felt guilty for not writing. Being in a constant state of anxiety is not good for the creative process, let me tell you that.

I had more than just anxiety to deal with, though. My hands weren’t taking kindly to all the typing and retyping I was doing, and I was having to do a lot of it. I almost had to write every word twice, because I wasn’t giving myself enough of a break and my motor skills were suffering. It happens from time to time, and it’s an absolute sign that I need to stop what I’m doing and relax.

That didn’t happen.

I felt guilt from not writing for the three fanfics I’m publishing, especially since two of them I put on hiatus for the month (hello yes I haven’t forgotten about them I’m just having a crisis) and the third got chapter frequency cut in half. Any time a scheduled chapter publication rolled around and I didn’t do it because of NaNo, I felt like I was letting my readers down.

November is a time I spend a lot with family, too, due to various family events and holidays. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, but I’m... not on the best terms with a family member right now, and it sort of made things worse. Even if I’d had the time to write (which I didn’t), I wouldn’t have been able to focus.

So by this point, I’m a ball of stress and worry. I made myself make a phone call that absolutely has a deadline and made an appointment (yay!) that I needed to make, but I still have another one that I have to repeatedly make until I catch someone at the phone because they’re terrible about calling me back. (They’re understaffed and having technical issues, I understand, but still.)

And I’m 21,000 words behind, with effectively a day left of November. And I still have to work tomorrow, and I have to make some progress on all the things I left behind at the start of the month or I’m never going to catch up.

I was going to write yesterday, but I woke up with heat exhaustion (yes, in November, in the Northern Hemisphere; it’s a bit of a story) and that’s effectively canceled out all my plans until I’m fully recovered from it. (I’m doing okay, if you were wondering.)

So, no. I’m not going to finish NaNo.

I’m not upset about this, though. The goal of me doing NaNo was to write every day and make progress on this story that’s been bouncing around my brain for several months. I did one of those--I made progress, 29,000 words of progress--and that’s nothing to brush aside.

I didn’t write every day.

I also refuse to punish myself for that.

I gave this month a good try. Could I have done better? Probably. What defines better, though, is not me having written more words, but me having accepted earlier that doing NaNo was hurting me.

I’m not going to stop creating, of course. I’m in the progress of getting back in the swing of writing fanfics, and I’ll be getting those out as I’m ready. If I end up writing over 1667 words a day at some point in the future, I’m not going to turn around and go “See, Potato! You could have done NaNo, you lazy root vegetable!” because my future ability to create is not determined by what I’ve done in the past.

No, I’m going to set a reasonable goal for myself (currently I’m thinking it’s going to be “write every day, and plotting a chapter or finding a song for the writing playlist absolutely counts”) and continue on from here.

NaNo was an experiment to see if I could do it. I couldn’t. That’s okay. It just means I need to redefine expectations. It’s something I have to do regularly as an adult, so it’s not like I’m unable to do it.

There’s no point in hurting yourself to create. Absolutely, amazing creations can come out of suffering, but... it’s honestly much more fun when you’re doing is something you actually look forward to.

So here’s to the attempts and lessons of the past, and to the future of creating with new boundaries in mind.

-Potato

[gretchensinister]

Operation Welcome Mat (preview)

I usually like to post a fic for my birthday, and well, this is a few days belated, but sometimes that’s how it goes. This is a preview of something I’m working on, now, and it’s a branching out of my usual fandom territory! I hope you’re curious, and I hope you enjoy!

It all stems from the question: Why does so much stuff that only Superman can deal with happen on the planet that Superman is on? That’s not the question that Lois Lane asks, but it’s the one she’s going to find an answer for.

Lois Lane always checks her spam folder. In fact, she always opens each individual message in there. Ninety-nine point nine nine nine percent of the time, what’s in there is garbage, but garbage is not synonymous with useless. Consider the journalists in Portland who went through the District Attorney’s garbage to make a point about privacy. Her daily ritual isn’t on that level of significance, but she feels the point still stands.

           Today, she opens an email that isn’t promising free trials of herbal supplements, contact info for hot singles in her area, or insurance policies that will cover damages caused by any and all anomalous events for as little as $10 a month. (These last annoyed her enough to ask Louise in Business to do a small expose on such companies—turns out, the fine print stated that given the regularity of attacks on Metropolis by aliens, robots, metahumans, etc., etc., these events could not be considered anomalous. Fucking scammers. She’s pretty sure they’re involved in a class-action lawsuit right now.)

           Instead, it reads thus:

           I am sending this to you because I think you are the only person in the world who might have adequate protection after I tell you this. It is for my safety and yours that I have not used your name or described what that protection might be.

           I ask you to use any and all resources you have at your disposal to investigate Operation Welcome Mat. I cannot tell you much more without compromising the slight chance this communication has of reaching you. However, I do not exaggerate when I say that the revealing—anything more I dare not hope for—of this operation will affect every human life on Earth.

           Sincerely,

                       One who works in the organization that knows you always check your spam folder

           The remaining message is a long and rambling series of testimonials for anti-aging and potency supplements, but Lois sees no reason to consider these as marks against the authenticity of the original message. Camouflage is important. As is covering one’s tracks. She opens her desk drawer and retrieves a high-quality digital camera that’s nevertheless old enough that it needs an actual physical cord to transfer the pictures on it to any computer. Lois has kept it in excellent condition, save for, oh, the pesky matter of the fact that the delete function doesn’t work on the camera itself, and that she just can never find the right kind of removable memory cards. Darn, what a problem! Fortunately the camera contains a 5000-image capacity non-removable internal memory. She takes a picture of the relevant portion of the email—well, ten pictures—and then sets about blocking every IP address that’s sent her something that ended up in her spam folder today and deleting every email indiscriminately. She’d like to perform a more thorough delete, but she never does that with any of her spam, and she’s got a feeling that now would not be a good day to start.

           Amateurs might worry about how she deleted the original email, but Lois knows that if she finds anything, she won’t need that email, and for another thing, the writer of that email most certainly doesn’t want anyone to be able to analyze their word choices and phrasing.

           She rests her arms on her desk and starts letting her mind work through everything the email told her. So, she’s the only person who “might have adequate protection” after learning about Operation Welcome Mat? The only unique protection she’s had under any circumstances is Superman. In a few well-known incidents, he’d appeared to give preference to getting her to safety before others. Lois isn’t one hundred percent sure that’s true, as she knows very well that she might’ve been the person in the greatest danger during each incident. Over her career, she’s tended to disregard danger for the sake of the story. And she can argue persuasively that in order to be a successful female journalist, she has to be prepared to face a certain amount of danger; she can argue that her years of experience have given her the ability to accurately evaluate the potential danger of a situation. These arguments have been, and are, vital to her public persona.

           But under a few layers of “I have to do this” is the chewy center of “I want to do this.” It’s true! Believe it or not, Lois Lane, Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist, is a bit of a thrill-seeker!

           Good thing that might be exactly what her email contact needs.

           So. Back to the email. Back to Superman. She knows well enough that she doesn’t have a raven-haired alien angel at her beck and call, but, based on what the public has seen, is it more likely that she does than any other investigative journalist? Yes. So, if only Superman can offer her adequate protection, then—

           “Hi Lois,” Clark says, setting a paper cup on her desk. “Two sugars, no milk—” He breaks off into an almost cartoonishly exaggerated yawn that Lois nevertheless is familiar enough with to know is genuine.

           “You ought to buy some coffee for yourself,” Lois says, digging a few dollars out of her wallet and tossing them at him, which he barely catches. “I mean, if you’re going to volunteer to walk down to Reeve’s every day, anyway. And didn’t you grow up waking up at 4am to milk cows or whatever?”

           Clark smiles shyly. Like he always does. It’s a good smile, and on a kid who’s six foot three and probably better built than any of the barns he ever helped raise, it could very well explain why he always seems so exhausted in the morning. Though if Lois’ theory is true, she hasn’t seen or heard any other evidence of it. A gentleman never tells, Lois thinks idly.

           “I can and have milked cows in my sleep,” he says. “I can’t do anything in my sleep, here.” He looks down. “Uh, the truth is that I haven’t been sleeping well since the—what did they call it? The Chirauga Incident?”

           Lois grimaces. Yeah, Clark and half of Metropolis. Including her. When an army of aliens that big showed up all at once, there was no way to avoid some level of freaking out, special protection from Superman or not. “Yeah, the Chirauga Incident. Ugly sons of bitches, in my opinion. I killed one personally, you know.”

           Clark’s eyes widen in shock, and Lois grins. “What? I verified they weren’t bulletproof before going out to start, you know, researching my story.” But, because she is committed to the truth, even though Clark seems like he’ll believe anything she says, she has to add, “Well, okay. I’m pretty sure I mortally wounded it. Superman took care of it before I could find out for sure.” It had been clean. Heat vision through the Chirauga equivalent of the spinal cord. And Superman had turned to her with that red glow still shimmering in the back of his eyes. “Are you all right?” he’d asked, hovering a foot above the ground like it was nothing, looking at her like she was something. And she’d looked into the terrible weapon of his gaze and been stunned by the perfect surety that he’d never use it on a human being.

           And for all that, she’d never seen him look so alien.

           “Weren’t you watching? I had this one handled,” she’d said, with a rasp in her voice she hoped he’d attribute to the heavy dust and smoke in the air.

           “Well, in that case, I guess all I can do now is tell you to be careful out there,” he’d said.

           It would be nice if there was a discreet little jump cut in her memory right after that, but, unfortunately, Lois remembers with perfect clarity that she’d responded, “Sure thing, spaceboy,” like a complete and utter dumbass. But then Superman hadn’t laughed at her, no, he’d given her the smile and wink of an old-fashioned movie star before flying away to continue saving the world. She, on the other hand, had staggered off, feeling as emotionally churned-up as a teenager.

           The worst part about it, in her opinion, is that she knows very well that Superman has this effect on almost everyone who encounters him.

           “Ah, Superman,” Clark says, drawing her back to the present. His shocked expression has been replaced by the little smile she’s often seen him wear when talk of Superman comes up. She’s always thought there was something secretive about that smile, something notably different from the rest of his farm-boy guilelessness. (Though, she doesn’t quite believe he’s as transparent as he otherwise appears. And she doesn’t think that’s just her natural suspicion kicking in. For one thing, the Daily Planet is big, but not big enough that someone who was hired as a journalist could fall through the cracks and become nothing but a friendly coffee boy. She’s read some of his articles, the neighborhood news stuff he generally covers, and the writing is as solid as he is, with words chosen with care and sensitivity. There’s more to him than meets the eye, and if he ever decides to get ambitious, Lifestyle is in for a big surprise. For another thing, he’d moved to Metropolis during a metahuman surge, and that, frankly, was not what normies did, no matter how clueless they were.)

           The running undercurrent of what she knows about Clark and the smile that’s the one noticeable discordant note in the melody of the person she works with suddenly gel into a possible conclusion, one that Lois could’ve kicked herself for not even considering earlier.

           Talented kid moves from small-town Kansas, where he could’ve been a big fish in a tiny pond. And he doesn’t even move to a city in the same state or region, where he could have been a big fish in a medium-sized pond. Instead, he moves to Metropolis, where he won’t be a big fish at all, but where it’ll be a big project for anyone who knew him in Smallville to ever visit, or know anything about him he doesn’t want them to know. Metropolis, which, despite its dangers, still lives in the cultural mind as a place where the good kind of anything can happen. (Where Superman is often seen.) And when he’s here, he never, ever says anything about even going on a date with anyone, and mentions of Superman bring out that secretive smile. And he started off writing his articles with a clear awareness of issues that Lois has seen other straight white male coworkers fail to grok even after clear, baby-step-style explanations. And he’s never, ever tried to turn getting her coffee into something uncomfortable.

           So, possible conclusion: Clark is some flavor of queer, and still closeted/uncomfortable about it. But he can’t completely hide his crush on Superman because, well. Superman. And the kid has an honest face.

           Just goes to show, she thinks, how slow and unreliable gaydar can be, even if you are bi.

           But this does give her an idea on where to send him as she starts her initial investigation of this Project Welcome Mat. If it is big, bad business like it seems, Clark doesn’t need to get mixed up in it, even to the point of overhearing a phone call. And besides, it might help him accept himself, if he needs that.

           “You know what, Clark?” Lois says. “You need something to take your mind off shit like alien invasions.”

           Clark grimaces. “I don’t know if anything can.”

           “Yeah, it’s a toughie, but you’re a Metropolitan now,” Lois says, with more bravado than she feels. Some things you don’t get used to. But some of those things you have to at least pretend to get used to. “Get outside. Write your cat-up-a-tree article tomorrow. Do something completely out of the ordinary.” And then, as if she’s just thought of it, “Powtown Pride is going on today. Powtown’s a neighborhood. Pride’s something to write about. You could go there and see what you can see.”

           “Powtown?” Clark says, raising his eyebrows. “That’s the metahuman neighborhood. That’s…a bit more interesting than where Rowlands usually sends me.”

           Lois waves her hand. “Rita is seventy-eight and still thinks anything involving a metahuman is a front-pager. Perry can tell her otherwise when you bring back something nice.”

           “Well,” Clark says, warming to the idea, “there are a lot of misconceptions about Powtown that ought to be worn away by a reliable source like the Planet. I mean—there probably are. I don’t know, personally. But if everything written about Powtown was true, no one could live there. It’d be a smoking crater in the ground.”

           “So you see? Needs you,” Lois says. She smirks. “Be careful, though. They’ve got twinks down there that could rip you in half.”

           “Says someone who just told me about personally shooting a Chirauga,” Clark says. “No, no, I know—you had it handled. Anyway. Yeah, I will go.” He looks towards the windows and sighs. “After all, it’s a beautiful day to be outside.”

           Lois waves at him as he leaves, then glances towards the windows herself. It really is a beautiful June day, not too hot, vivid blue sky, puffy clouds slowly drifting by. Does Superman prefer days like this for flying? She wonders. Or would it not affect him at all? What would it be like to fly with Superman on a day like today—Lois sticks her tongue out in an exaggerated expression of disgust. She’s better than that! She has to be!

           Anyway, she’s got something new to investigate. Before Clark interrupted, she was thinking of what things out in the world only Superman could be adequate protection from. Well, aside from horrible things from space, that leaves a very short list that prominently features a house of a certain color and a building of a certain shape. And the name—Operation Welcome Mat—it has a very particular ring to it.

           But she’s still going to look into the rest of that short list. A direct assault isn’t the correct approach here, and besides, there might be connections, even if the person she’s going to call is officially blacklisted from government contracts.

           She scrolls to the contact in her phone for “Louis L’Amour,” and reaches out to someone who definitely isn’t a dead writer of Westerns.

Notes: I’ve decided to have Superman’s code against killing be specifically about humans/earthlings because for one thing, I don’t have to answer to Standards and Practices, and for another, I don’t feel like having every alien army be robots (which with sufficiently advanced AI doesn’t help anyway), and what do you want me to do, have Superman knock all the aliens out? If they’re going down long enough to be essentially counted out of the fight, they’re getting life-threatening brain injuries anyway. 

[utopianvoices]

college au | k.woojin

major: music

minor: fashion design but he dropped it because he didn’t realise that this minor involved actual designing of new type of clothes and he was no designer

clubs: president of the music club. used to do kendo too but dropped it when he became president because it was too much commitment

teacher’s pet #2 after chan 

everybody loves this boy because he’s smart, kind, talented, the list goes on tbh

he took music as his major because he has loved music and singing ever since he was young and loved to perform for people,,,,,,, because he knew from experience that music is a big impact in many people’s lives

he is one of the best singers and guitar players in his major and he lowkey gets many envious stares from his fellow majormates

decided to join the music club because he just couldn’t get enough of singing and performing 

and soon after was made president by all his club friends because he was their best singer and conveniently one of the most responsible

he’s close friends with 8 other boys who also share the same interest in performing 

they called themselves stray kids and performed at the campus cafe every saturday night because that’s when it was pretty packed with students and also because it lets them earn some extra cash

although he puts his best into every assignment he submits and the teachers know this, he goes pretty hard on himself if he ends up getting a grade lower than he expected

going back to the dorm and making a list of things of what went wrong in his assignment and what he can improve on

his roommates chan and minho will notice this and drag him out to the nearest busking event just so that woojin can get his mind off things

talking about busking,,,,,, woojiin loved going to busking events

as much as he loved performing, he loved watching people perform too

he loved listening and watching the different and unique talent each performer possessed, keeping an eye out for the detail that set a performer apart from the other ones,,,,,,, it strangely helped to calm him and forget about his stress for the time being

so this is actually how he met you

he was stressed about his recent assignment in which he had to compose a short track that portrayed love 

usually woojin had not much problem in composing and writing lyrics because he was inspired enough and he also had the help of chan, who was practically a producing genius

but this time, he was having a really hard time composing a song

maybe it was because of the theme of the song

he tried getting inspiration from what he felt when he was dating before, but nothing came to him because he knew that what he had with them wasn’t love,,,,,,, it was just mere infatuation 

usually when he was stuck with a track, he will ask chan who had a solution for him 99.9% of the time, but even chan couldn’t help him this time,,,,,, so he did the first thing that came to his head

he put away his laptop and notes and left the dorm in search of the nearest busking event taking place to get some peace and hopefully some inspiration 

let’s just say woojin was out of luck because the usually bustling streets were pretty empty the day he needed them to be filled

but he was already out and about with nothing else to do so he ventured further than he usually would, finding for something,,,,,, anything that would be able to give him some inspiration when he stumbled across a performer he had never seen before

baDuMtSSS its you

it was the first time you were trying out busking at that area,,,,, usually you preferred to perform at smaller places where there was a smaller audience, but you were feeling exceptionally brave and adventurous that particular day so you decided to perform in the town 

you grabbed your guitar and walk up to the middle, the center of attention, and start singing your favourite song

at first it was just a handful of people, but as time went by, there were more and more people

although this was your first time performing in front of such a large crowd, you weren’t gonna lie,,,,,,, it was pretty awesome 

you had just finished your fourth and final song, by which there was already a large crowd gathered around you 

the crowd slowly dispersed, as you packed your things, ready to head home from your long and tiring day when you notice a boy standing by you and staring at you,,,,,,,,,, well then

you gave him a few side glances, trying to convince yourself that he wasn’t staring at you and was just admiring the,,,,,,,, plant behind you

but as you finished packing up the boy hadn’t moved and you were starting to get creeped out, so you stared straight at the boy, who suddenly looked startled, almost as if he had been caught staring,,,,,, which he had been

you walked over to him, noticing him get more nervous the closer you got

soon you were right in front of him and you threw him a “can i help you with something”

he just chuckled nervously and tried to get some words out but all you hear is “errr,,,,, i wanted to uh,,,,, haha,,,,,”

you raise your brows at him and he finally sighs to himself and seemingly makes his mind up about something, finally asking you if he could ask you a question

you reply with a “sure”, curious as to what this boy was gonna come up with,,,,, but his question catches you off guard and him too apparently because he looks shocked when the question leaves his mouth

“what do you define as love?”

what,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, what kind of question was that

you were expecting him to ask you many things, but this was not one of them

you reply with a “i’m sorry what” and he quickly replies, explaining his situation to you and making sure to emphasise the fact that he was not a creep that went around asking people weird and rather personal questions

“i’m sorry it’s just that i’m a music major and i have to compose something that conveys love, but i can’t seem to get any inspiration because i don’t think i’ve been in love before,,,,, you just seemed so emotional when you were singing and it just makes me think that idk,,,,,, you know what it means or something,,,,,,”

he trailed off halfway, turning red thinking of how stupid he sounded to this cute stranger he just met 

you chuckle a bit at how cute he was before shaking your head saying that you’ve never in fact been in a romantic relationship, which surprised the heck out of him because ??!?!?!?! how did you manage to put so much emotion into singing when what you sang were pretty much love songs???? confused woojin is confused

and you shrug and just go “i don’t need to have a partner to be able to convey love. i just convey my love for music into my singing and it turns out that way” and that’s when it hit woojin,,,,,, love didn’t have to be romantic

he could create a track based solely on his love for chicken and it would be a song conveying love,,,,,, you,,,,,,, you literally saved his life and his grades

you watch as a smile slowly grows on his face as he processes what you say and looks at you with the biggest smile once he had realised that it wasn’t all about romantic love 

he just kinda jumps around and thanks you like a small kid,,,,, and you just go “he’s really cute” in your head hmMMHMmmM

you give him a smile and wish him luck in getting a high grade on his assignment and start to walk off when you hear him calling out your name 

“hey y/n!!!” and you just turn around to see the boy running towards you, panting when he reaches you 

you wait for him patiently, as he catches his breath from the sprint and when he’s all fine, he looks at you and asks if you were free saturday night

because he and his group of friends were performing at his college cafe,,,,,,, and he was wondering if you were free to come and watch them

and actually you weren’t free,,,,,,, you had to catch up your show’s new episodes

but this boy was cute and also you wanted to see if he had any talent as a music major,,,,,, so you just coolly give him your number and ask him to text you the details, also learning his name in the process

and you leave the place with a bright red face because you had never ever given a boy your number,,,,,, you were just pretty reserved about these things,,, but there was something about that boy that made you do things you’ve never done before

but because of how quickly you turned away to hide your flaming face, you missed the flush on woojin’s face as well, because the poor boy wasn’t expecting you to be so confident when all he could do was stutter and ask weird questions

you didn’t want to admit it but you were waiting for his text since that day and you were pretty bummed when he didn’t message you for about two days,,,,,,, you just convinced yourself that he probably wasn’t interested and forgot about you

but friday afternoon you get two messages from him,,,,,,,, the first one consisted of about 5000 sorry’s and a explanation about how he was so busy composing for his assignment that he totally forgot about texting you

and the second message contained the details of the cafe he was performing in and surprise,,,,,,, it was your college cafe

so now you knew that you and woojin went to the same college hmMMmm inch resting

you reply with a “hey that’s my college too!” after making sure to let him know that it was totally okay that he didn’t reply and that you hoped his assignment went well

he replied almost immediately, saying something like “yes it went really great!! i’lll have to show it to you sometime soon, now that i know that we go to the same college”

you smile at your phone and that’s when your roommate comes in and asks you who you were talking to you, wiggling her eyebrows and replying with a “sure” when you say that it was no one

you roll your eyes and get back to studying your material because hey your grades were not gonna come by themselves

soon it was saturday night and you made you way to the cafe, making sure to dress civilly and not just throw on some old sweatshirt you saw lying around in your room,,,,,, which is what you usually do

you arrived slightly early than the time stated, so you make your way to the counter and order yourself a cup of hot chocolate to calm your tummy that was currently housing about a thousand butterflies for unknown reasons

although you went to that college, you had never been to the cafe because you preferred staying in your dorms, so you took the opportunity to take in the interior of the cafe,,,,,, and it was pretty nice

you see some boys climbing onto the stage of the cafe but don’t recognise any of them until you see that one particular boy amidst of all the other boys there

woojin was dressed in a grey sweatshirt and black jeans, fitting right in with the other boys who were dressed similarly

he looked around the cafe, seemingly searching for someone, when he caught your eyes, and immediately broke out into a smile which you returned with a small wave

a really pale boy who was slightly shorter than woojin introduced them as stray kids and you had to stop yourself from laughing because stray kids??? seriously??? 

but it was pretty cute,,,,,

the mic was passed on to woojin who introduced the self-produced songs they were going to sing that night and you caught a few songs like mixtape #1, glow and a few others 

they started their performance and you had to admit,,,,, they were really good,,,,, and you couldn’t believe that such young boys could compose such amazing tracks

but when it was woojin’s turn to sing you just fell into a hole and knew that you would never be able to get out of it,,,,,, his voice was the definition of perfect

soon their performance ended and you knew why woojin had decided to pursue music as his major

music and woojin were literally made for each other

once the boys got off the stage, woojin made his way towards you, with the rest of the boys following his trail

he greeted you with a “hey” and pulled you into a hug in the spur of the moment, before letting go as quickly as he hugged you, realising what he did 

you both stare at each other, flusters while the boys were just staring at ya’ll like ??? whats going on when woojin snaps out of it and introduces you to the boys, explaining that he met you when he was having his assignment crisis and that you helped him out so he invited you to their performance

and they were like oOoOooh we seeeeee and just introduce themselves to you one by one

the boys leave you to go the counter and order food and you’re left with woojin and chan, who whispers something into woojin’s ears and leaves to join the other boys

so after chan leaves, woojin just looks at you and goes like “uhhhh so the boys and i are gonna get something to eat and i- uhhh we would like if you joined us?? it’s okay if you don’t want to!!!” he quickly added

and you’re just like “sure! your friends seem like really nice people,,,, i hope i’m not intruding though” and he just shouts “NO” really loudly and quickly which startles the both of you

so ya’ll had a pretty great dinner, with the boys goofing around, throwing fries at one another and talking about all the school gossip

ya’ll continue talking even after finishing your dinner, when you realise that it was almost 11pm,,,, and that you had to get back to your dorm because your roommate was expecting you to be back by like 10

so you excuse yourself and tell them that it was really nice meeting them when jeongin just goes “woojin hyung you should walk them back to their dorm!! its so late!!” and you’re just like asdlfjkas what

and woojin is just dead inside because jeongin just made him seem like a creep,,,,,,, so to redeem himself he just coughs out a “if you want me to” to you, hoping that you would say yes 

and you reply with a shy “yes” because reminder: this has never happened to you before

so woojin quickly gets up and walks you to your dorm, where ya’ll talked more about yourselves and just random things basically

soon you get to your dorm and you’re both filled with disappointment because neither of you wanted to leave,,,,,, and woojin was about to speak up when your phone ringing cuts him off

you realise that it’s your worried roommate and so you kinda quickly say bye to him and run off into your dorm

and he just leaves, slightly disappointed that he wasn’t able to ask you out because of the phone call

and ya’ll don’t bump into each other again until one day you get a really weird message from woojin out of nowhere which read something like “hi y/n09ae-r92u3r@!34328o185s”

okay,,,,,,, 

you reply with a “u okay?” and 3 mins later you get a reply saying “i’m fine sorry the boys took my phone” and you’re just like “haha no problem,,,, oh yea how was your assignment?” and he replies with a “i got an A!” and the conversation just kinda continues from there

and ya’ll end up talking day and night for the next few days, until one day you see woojin waiting outside one of your classes, looking pretty nervous while you were just surprised to see him

so you’re just like “hey,,, what’re you doing here?” and he just shuffles around until he looks up at you and asks you if he could ask you something,,,,,, and you just get reminded of the first time ya’ll met

so you tease him and just go “you’re not gonna ask me what i define paper as right?” and he just laughs, which helps him loosen up

and he just takes in a deep breath and goes “actually i was gonna ask you what you define a date as, so that i can take you out on one,,,,” and you’re just rooted there because that was,,,,,, really smooth

and 4 seconds later woojin is just like “im sOrry that was so straightforward idk what i was thinking it’s totally okay if you don’t want to i was just asking and like-” and you cut his rant with a “i would love to go on a date with you”

and ya’ll just smile goofily at each other,,,,, when you hear someone go “awwww” and a few “shHHHHH”s

so ya’ll look around and spot 8 boys hiding behind the wall, trying to get a glimpse of what was going on and woojin just has to run after them to smack them because peeping is rude kids

a few days later, you and woojin go on your cute little date,,,,,,,,, to the karaoke pffffttt

but it’s really cute because ya’ll have so much fun singing - sometimes screaming out - songs that you both love,,,,,,,,, and in the end he just serenades you with this really slow song and it’s so romantic ahhhhh

ya’ll buy some chicken ((ofc)) and sit near a river and just talk about yourselves, growing more disappointed as your date comes to an end

woojin being the gentleman he is, walks you back to your dorm because its late and its dangerous

and somewhere in between your long walk, your hands just start brushing slightly and soon after your hand is enveloped by his huge hand

and ya’ll don’t acknowledge it, but it’s obvious by the wide smiles you both were sporting on your faces

and soon you had reached your dorm and ya’ll just stand around each other, not sure of what to do now that ya’ll were here,,,,,, and so woojin says bye first, moving in really slowly for a hug so that you had time to reject it if you wanted to,,,,,,, but no one rejects a hug from woojin

so you just accept his hug and melt into his arms, almost as if they were the perfect place for you to be in

you whisper a “thank you for the great date” and courageously press a soft kiss to his cheek,,,,,,,, before letting out a small squeak because even you were surprised at what you just did 

woojin just raises a hand to his cheek and caresses the place you kissed him,,,,, before throwing you a small smile, and pulling you in for an actual proper kiss

and it’s all so fricking adorable because you rest your hands on his chest and you can hear how fast his heart was beating, matching your heart’s rhythm, almost as if both of it was making music 

he slowly lets you go and mutters a “see you tomorrow” and ya’ll separate, both with goofy smiles because what magic just happened

you’re greeted with your roommate bombarding you with questions, and you just start screaming and spazzing about your date and especially the end of the date and your roommate is just screaming along with you,,,,,,, and woojin is greeted by 8 creepy faces, waiting in his dorm for the details and he just spills everything the moment he sees them and they’re just so happy for their oldest brother

and so ya’ll continue to go on so many dates, with you going to the college cafe every saturday night to see him perform,,,,, and one particular saturday night, woojin is the only one on the stage while the other 8 just stand at the side and watch him with smiles on their faces

and you’re like ???? because don’t they all usually perform together

and then woojin just grabs the mic and speaks into it, shushing the crowd

“so today’s performance will be a bit different,,,,, i’m performing this for a really special person in the crowd who has made my life so much better and happier and i just wanted to say ‘i love you’ to this special person. you know who you are” and he stares straight into your eyes

and you’re shocked because he just said he loved you

and he sings the song staring at you and only you,,,,,,,,, and you can’t react because you’re surprised but your heart was bursting with love for the boy in front you

as soon as he got off the stage, you rush to him and into his arms, unable to stop the tears that escaped your eyes because you didn’t have to date before to know how special this was

you pull away slightly and look at him, as he wipes away your tears, a smile ever present on his handsome face, as you choke out a “i love you too” and crush him in a hug again as he hugs you back as tightly

ya’ll were soon known as the musical couple across college, because of your performances that were put up every saturday night, right after stray kids had performed

and he even convinced you to join the music club, because he knew how talented you were and also because it was the perfect excuse to see you more

one day when you were over at his dorm, he finally decided to show you the assignment he had been having problems with,,,,, the assignment that brought ya’ll together 

and you listened to it,,,,, impressed at how good it sounded and how you could feel the love it conveyed

and he shyly admitted that he was thinking of you singing as his inspiration for this piece,,,,,,, which led you to attacking him with kisses because how can one be so cute

and minho decides to walk into woojin’s room right at that moment and he just goes “well well what do we have here,,,,,” while wiggling his eyebrows at the both you when ya’ll fly apart from each other due to the uninvited guest,,,,, and woojin just throws his plushie at minho and and asks him to get out with a really red face

“your friends really need to learn how to knock” you say, still red and woojin just sighs and replies with a “trust me,,,, i’ve tried teaching them,,,,”

so ya’ll learn your lesson and keep your pda to a minimum when the others are around but when ya’ll are alone oh boy,,,,,,, prepare to be attacked with hugs, cuddles and kisses

∞ end ∞

[verscorch]

Recent events got me wondering why I deal with some people.

It’s no secret that I am a very focused, driven individual, and when it comes to leadership, I hate playing tug-of-war. There are proven, effective ways of doing things that I believe ought to be kept in mind as guidelines even if not adhered to letter-for-letter:

Be willing and able to communicate issues, whether they’re “actual” issues or “perceived” issues, with those who you work with. This is the golden rule, part one. If you’re not willing to put yourself out there then no conversation will ever happen. The issues will perpetuate.

Be willing and able to listen and put to meaningful thought into issues as they’re brought up. This is the golden rule, part two. Communication is a two-way street. You can send all you want but it’s pointless if there’s no one there to receive it. The meaningful thought part is especially important here. Sometimes you have to sit and let words digest instead of going with your knee-jerk reaction. This can be difficult, and is much easier to do via text than it is to do via voice.

Be motivated and show enthusiasm. If the leaders are motivated and enthusiastic about what they’re doing, then others will follow. Positive mindsets, just like negative ones, are contagious.

If you expect the worst, you will usually get it.

In most situations I have been in, these guiding principles have worked incredibly well. These principles guide each and every interaction with my Ebonguard officers, who are absolutely fantastic. People are busy and that’s understandable, but every one of them is a joy to work with and I’m lucky to have them around. (I’d like to make some additions to the team to fill other roles, since most of us are oriented towards the actual administration of the group: looking over apps, chatting with recruits, overall making sure that we can keep the lights on. I would specifically like to add some dedicated RP officers, but this gets tricky when very few members of the LS are self-starters. I think if we get volunteers then we can make it work though as long as the new officers understand what is expected of them.)

I think I can chalk this up in part to the simple fact that the Ebonguard officers are good at what they do. The two most active members of the team have prior experiences, both good and bad I’m pretty sure, with running groups, which makes their insight invaluable and their opinions informed. We can actually sit down and have conversations. We do actually sit down and have conversations. And these conversations are productive! We pin-point problems. We suggest solutions. Sometimes we even plan RP, although schedules occasionally conspire to make that part a little difficult because the most active chunk of the team is comprised of a student, someone who travels like every other week for their job, and an Australian with no sleep schedule. (I wouldn’t have them any other way though!)

This is a very, very stark contrast to these assholes.

I am, for practical intents and purposes, the de facto leader of two seperate groups. One, just mentioned, is good. The other. Is not.

Take everything that makes my Ebonguard officers great and flip it, and you have the Artifice’s officer team.

Dealing with the Artifice team is a special exercise in both patience and masochism. To be completely frank, it didn’t used to be as bad as it is right now, and I have no idea when it got so bad. I know when exactly all the shit came to the forefront and precipitated into the situation that we’ve been living with for the past three and a half months. Before the New Year, we were all bright-eyed and motivated. We had a game-plan. We were going to work together. We were going to use the strong foundation that we built in order to make something truly great. We had a vision. We knew what we had to do, basically, to make it a reality.

... And then nothing happened.

We took December off for Finals season and holidays, as is kind of scheduled and expected, and I can only assume that during that time, something changed. When the clock struck twelve on New Years Day, something changed and it didn’t change for the better. A day passed. A week passed. No word of any change of plans. I rewrote the lore doc like we planned to do. Silence, maybe a grudging pat on the back. I spruced up the interior of the house, providing us with a shiny new space with which to run public events, which has since been used only once, and it wasn’t for strictly FC purposes. We were going to have a linkshell to help us network with people outside of our immediate circle, and although we have it now, it’s a far cry from anything we actually discussed doing and in pushing for it to actually get done -- I cannot and will not be responsible for everything -- I got demoted.

When we got to actually going over what happened in that particular instance, it felt productive at the time. Someone else stepped in to mediate the issue, though at the time I was definitely putting some serious thought into burning the group and moving on with my life. It’s no overstatement to say that I am the primary if not the sole creative force behind everything the FC is and does. I wrote the lore. My character is the last full-time leader of the FC, the other officers having all rerolled into characters who are not only wholly incapable of leading, but who don’t really mesh with the fabric of the group at all (even taking into account the idea that antagonistic relationships between characters within a group can be interesting and can very well be driving forces behind character development!). They do nothing. They affect nothing. They just kind of exist, and the only reason why they haven’t been fired yet is because that would be unfair on an OOC level even if it would be completely reasonable and in-character for my character to fire them or otherwise penalize them for not being useful to the company as a whole.

Unfortunately, it just popped up again. They cite passive-aggression as the precipitating factor despite being completely and totally unwilling to point out passive-aggression as it happens, and frankly since the way that I interface with the group has not changed since way, way back when I still actually liked them, I’m inclined to believe that it’s not necessarily an issue with how I interface but with how they perceive. They aren’t in a mindset that’s conducive to actually getting things done. All they do is ignore things as they’re brought up, or shut them down as being unnecessarily nitpicky, unimportant, or harsh, not even bothering to consider the fact that I don’t pipe up and say things for no reason. If I feel like it’s important enough to bring up, then chances are I have a good reason for it, those reasons ranging from “this is counter-productive” to “this hurt my feelings or made me angry for like five minutes and I would like you to stop doing that thing or take steps to handle similar situations differently in the future.”

But quite literally every time, one or the other chimes in to put the concern down without spending more than a hot 30 seconds considering what I’m trying to get at, and the overwhelming majority of the time they don’t ask me to clarify if I was being unclear, either. One just doesn’t seem to care. The other’s first reaction to anything I try to say that they don’t happen to agree with or like is immediate, intense anger which makes getting anything done impossible. For example, this person went off just the other day and, rather than even considering what I had said or was trying to say at quite literally any point in time, instead went on to characterize me as “having the weight of the world on their shoulders!” and being “easily replaceable.” To be fair, I lashed out first, but I made maybe one or two jabs at the two of them as a pair -- as officers, not even as people. This rant must have gone on for a solid seven to ten minutes.

Both of which I feel aren’t entirely true.

For the first count, it’s true that I voluntarily take on a lot of responsibility in running the company and making things work. I run the designated company plotline. I lead company meetings, in AND out of character because, again, my character is the only full-time leader of the FC. I’ve even started planning and slapping together some OOC shindigs like map parties and movie nights. But I don’t do this because I want an excuse to gripe. I do it because I like doing it. I like writing stories and I like seeing how people interact with the narrative I make. I enjoy playing a character in a position of power, although frankly it sucks that it also means I’m the only member of the officer team who is technically qualified to do the shitty, shitty job of hiring people IC. (There is a very good reason why IC play-ins are no longer a thing for Ebonguard, and its because I despise them. They are never anything but forced and robotic. Leon stops being Leon and starts being Officer Bot 5000 because, again, there’s no prerequisite or allowance for him to just not hire people who don’t leave a good impression on him; by this point in time people are already accepted into the FC on whatever character they applied with, and their character not being hired because my character is an asshole is a little unfair.)

The source of my gripes is not and never has been “I DO EVERYTHING!” in fact quite frankly I’m of the opinion that life would be a lot easier if I did, in fact, do everything. If I did everything then that would mean that everything is done to my (relatively high) standards and specifications, and not only that but they are done in a timely manner. The source of my gripes is, instead, that I’m sitting over here working my ass off while for all intents and purposes, they pick their noses. I’m pretty understanding of prior obligations and life getting in the way of things; it’s not an issue at all with my Ebonguard team even though the breakdown of time available to spend on doing stuff ends up being relatively the same. But their current reasoning does not hold up when taking the entire picture into account. I’m more than willing to and capable of understand/ing when you have to deal with a continuing family emergency. But what I’m not is a mindreader. 

One is pretty good at communicating when obligations arise and I respect him for that. My problems don’t usually start with him and in fact if I were in charge I would probably keep him around in the same capacity.

The other? At no point in time did she ever even make the slightest attempt to communicate to me, or the officer team as a unit, that she had some personal issues to deal with. The people closest to her as a person? Sure. I’m not in that group. But the officer team as a unit? Never.

Even discounting the current situation, it neither explains nor excuses the perpetual state of apathy they’ve basically been stuck in since Thanksgiving. One of them used to chip in and DM scenario events from time to time which was a pretty cool gig, and then he stopped. The other used to have a plot chain she was also running, and then lost the motivation for since they can’t manage large stories like I can. She at one point wanted to tie her plot into what I had so that I could continue/finish what she started, but she never gave me the notes and she never followed through on actually doing that. (This is what has happened to every event chain, whether heavy on story or not, that I’ve ever seen her try to run from the start of me being in the FC. It’s not the first time, and I guarantee that it won’t be the last.) This one also told me to my face not too long ago that she didn’t actually have any desire to be a leader and occasionally wondered what it would be like if she passed it off and then joined another FC just to be a member without all the responsibility.

And frankly, I wonder that too; if you don’t want to be a leader and/or don’t have the time or mental energy to dedicate to being a leader, then chances are pretty good that you should step aside and hand someone else the reigns. I would be absolutely willing to provide compensation for material assets and just straight-up buy the FC and take it off her hands. I could probably fix every single issue that the FC has within the span of 72 hours or less.

I also do not like this person as a person because they don’t treat me with respect and yet expect it in return, which is a MAJOR button of mine (I also have a general contempt for authority figures I guess), but it’s 2AM and that is a story for another time.

[emptymanuscript]

@whenshiphitsthefan​ Asked me a question:

Dumb and perhaps unanswerable question but what's it like writing 3k+ words in a day? Even on my most productive days I can sit for 8 hours and do nothing but write obsessively without even stopping to eat but I only have like 1-2k words down when I finish. Obviously there's no wrong way to write blah blah blah but I don't get how even when the words are flowing for me they come at a fraction of my typing speed.

My aggressively worded, long ass OPINION is below the cut.

Ok, first, this is a Perceptive question. Your spotting a big and poorly communicated issue. It’s just embarrassing because everyone who gives advice games the system. We all end up looking like we do 10k an hour 10 hours a day 10 days a week. It’s not a good system. Most of us have actually figured that out. But we’re also not sure how to then get people to keep listening to us here when there is an infinitely nicer sounding lie over there. So we just kinda keep misrepresenting ourselves. It’s the social media effect.

Is it an unanswerable question though… mmm… halvsies. I was reminded recently of one of my more personally influential writing teachers, Eileen Workman, a wonderful, magnificently giving woman, who I have sadly not seen in forever. One of the best tidbits of wisdom I got from her was, while there are no 'right' answers, there are always a multitude of wrong ones. Now it’s easy because we writers are often a pretty negative lot, to focus on that last part. There are a huge number of wrong answers to any writing question. Oh, dear, how can you find what you need in that swamp. A little harder is to look at the first part and have that negative voice pop up in your head again, ‘There’s no right answer? So there’s no answer?” And no, that’s not what it means. It means there is no single, one and only, answer. But that’s very different. There are answers, there are answers that are right for YOU, and you get to pick and choose which answer or answers best fit your needs at this time. There is such a multitude of wrong answers precisely because the absolutely right answer for someone else can still be the absolutely wrong answer for you. I don’t know you or your work better than you do. So I can’t actually tell you what to do. Though I’m full of myself so I will try. All I can actually do is say this is what I know and this what I experience, and I hope they help you think about your similar problem.

Believe it or not, putting in my score of 4380 words that provoked this question in the nanowrimo website, I put that wobbly mouthed frowny face as my attitude toward it. For two reasons. The reason I wrote 4380 words is because I was behind, and I have now not completed that nano on time. And I am already a day behind on the official one. Which embarrasses me considering how many nanos I have “won”, it’s like being a marathon runner, signing up for the iron man, and not being able to clear the first mile. I not only should be able to do the work, I KNOW I can because I have done it many times before. And yet, I am having lots of trouble. Because I’m writing in this bang-bust cycle of nothing and then alot right now, my aim with the hope of hitting 5000 words.

And that’s the real answer for me. What does it feel like to write 3K+ words a day: an annoyance that I write so little and strong desire that I wrote 10K+ words a day instead. It’s not about how many words you write. I used to feel the same way about 5K. I used to feel the same way about 3K. Used to be 1K. It’s about how happy you are with your fulfillment of your own expectations.

Back in 2006, in graduate school on an entirely different continent from my birth for the purposes of a degree in the teaching and practice of creative writing, I was firm in what I thought was my reasonable expectation that I would shortly be a published author, that I would launch in a career in that, and could leverage that writing career into a teaching job at my alma mater, so I could teach all the little college brats like myself who wanted to become authors AND do it better than I felt I was taught myself. That was my expectation. And at low levels it still is my expectation.

Now, in 2020, with chronic pain, medicated for mental health issues that have landed me in the mental hospital twice, living 15 minutes from my alma mater where the one and only creative writing teacher is now one of my first teachers, who I have been holding a grudge against since 1992 because of how disgusted I am by the way he teaches, I am a little dissatisfied. He’s got the job I want and I’m not going to get it. And I hear about him teaching it all the time because I’m connected to the writing community here, and he is all there is. While I am teaching nobody. And have one short story and one self published novel to my name. I wrote the first draft of the sequel to my first novel, now more than six years ago and I’m pretty much giving up on it.

From the point of view of 2006, every time I produce something as pathetic as ONLY 3k+ words, it’s a slap in the face reminder of how little I have accomplished and how much I have failed in my life goals.

Which I don’t say to say, ‘Hey, feel sorry for me.’ That’s not the point. I say it because I suspect that this is an exaggeration of the same basic emotional tug of war that a tragic number of writers are going through. It is worth questioning do you have an equivalent of my 2006 expectations. It may not be as a big or dramatic. It may be as simple as ‘real writers write a novel every x amount of time by writing y amount of words every single day.’ And then what’s your reality? What are you actually living with? Was that part of your expectation? Can the number of words you are producing live up to that expectation? Will a higher number of words live up? How much higher? Are you sure it’s only that high?

Because my 2006 judgements and expectations, 10k an hour or whatever won’t cut it. Because the daily word count is what I am judging by. It is my measure. But what I’m trying to judge is only tangentially related to word count. My 2006 expectations are of a life I don’t have.

If I wrote a million words a day, it would just drive me nuts that I still wasn’t writing enough to make a difference. How much do I have to write? And I know that answer for myself, even if I usually look away. It is an impossible numer. It’s when you add every positive integer together and get -12. Because that’s what the impulse is really about, trying to get the life I expected of myself in 2006 when it’s 2020.

Is it the same for you? It may not be. We’re all different. But I wouldn’t be surprised if you had some expectation of being a “better” writer than you are already. Of being more “productive” than you are. Of already being an author. All those things are things you can’t ever write enough to fix. Because the word count is the wrong measure.

So, let’s take a step back. Farther back. In my aggressively held opinion, one of the best books on Creative Writing has nothing to do with Creative Writing. It’s called Start With Why by Simon Sinek. He’s got a Ted Talk that is essentially the same content, just less examples. His method is very simple. He calls it the golden circle. Three concentric rings. In the center circle is WHY. Why are you doing what you’re doing? In the middle circle around the why is HOW. How are you doing what you’re doing? In the outer ring is WHAT. What are you doing?

What you’re doing is writing. How you’re doing it is trying to hit a certain word count. Which may or may not be the way to go. Why you’re doing it… that’s usually real complicated. Took me years to figure out. Sinek’s critique is that most everything goes from the outermost ring inward. While in contrast, the most successful companies, which is his area of focus, go from the inside out.

You want to write a story. Cool. You’ll do that by writing to the point that you don’t eat and you don’t take any breaks and that will get you the biggest word count which will be the most amount of work in the time available. Because… You want to write a story. Which is cool. But it’s also a tautology.

Instead of that, I’d like to give you an example. Let’s take imaginary writer Bela. Bela hasn’t had a great life.

Bela believes that sharing her life story will help others who have suffered the same trials and tribulations but have no voice to speak it. She wants to speak in defense of those who can’t defend themselves. She wants to be the voice for the voiceless. That’s WHY she wants to writer her life story.

Ok, so HOW is Bela going to do that? Is she just going to scribble down her life story and then run down to the photocopy joint and spend her life savings on copies and then just jet around town tossing the manuscript copies out her window. We all know the answer is no. But WHY is it no?

Because, that doesn’t meet the goals of her WHY. What are her goals?

Sharing

Showing her trials

Talking to people who have suffered

Giving others a voice

Defending the defenseless

Speaking about things that others won’t or can’t

That’s six goals and none of them are necessarily writing. Writing is how she is choosing to ACHIEVE her goals. It is one choice out of many ways of HOW she can fulfill her WHY. AND they are exactly what she’s going to look into to figure out HOW to do that AS THE PROCESS of achievement.

How can she share? Well, that might be about tone. She might focus on writing in a style that shows we’re all in this together. Or it might be about pursuing a particular outlet for publication or/and partnership. Such as working together with NAMI to be able to speak to the numbers and types of mental issues that come from her types of previous trials. Doing that is not taking time away from her writing, it is acting in concert with it. Her word count would be less of a measure than her ability to express those words in the way she wants.

I’m just going to skip ahead to the last one because I suspect you get it. And the last one is best for the next topic:

How does she speak about things others can’t? That’s hard. That means she has to talk about things that she doesn’t want to talk about. That means she has to relive traumas she would rather shove down and ignore enough that she can bring people into the experience with her. Maybe even because of that.

Is she going to write that 8 hours a day, 7 days a week, without taking breaks, without eating? Plunging ahead just to get it out and done and over with?

No. For several reasons.

First, she can’t. If she’s digging that deep into trauma, that schedule is going to giver her a mental lapse. Part of her self care will need to be figuring out a sustainable schedule. Because she’s not in a sprinting race. Look back at what she wants to do. You see a WHY like that and you know it’s not about one day of writing. It’s not even one book. This is a lifetime endeavor. So it’s a lifetime that has to be figured out so she won’t burn out. Each bit of writing is just HOW she is dealing with these issues this time. So her health, for the purposes of all the times to come, is more important.

Two, even if she’s writing a happy scene in her story, she’s not a brain in a vat. There’s no friendly scientist helpfully pumping constant nutrients into her tub. If you don’t take care of your body’s needs, your capabilities, of any and all kinds, deteriorate. When you’re tired, you don’t think as fast. When you’re hungry you don’t think as clearly. When you’re engaged in long monotonous tasks, you don’t pay as close attention.

For you, it might be interesting to measure your word count per time period. If you aren’t on a sudden jag of inspiration, you might very well do more words per .5 hours when it is earlier in the day than at the end, when you are tired and hungry. Looking at the total word count is only looking at the average of your total output. So if you do very well at some points and very poorly at others, it looks exactly the same as if you just did an even string all the way along, which isn’t necessarily true at all.

Most people have specific times when they write more and better than other times. Most people also don’t figure out when that is. Myself, I’ve got the easiest version up. I can figure out on a monthly basis which day of the week I do the most writing and which day I do the best. It does not shock me at all that my busiest day of the week, Wednesday, is my least productive day. I have plenty of hours still to write on Wednesdays but my stress and other difficulties eat into the time I have and I can’t write as much or as fast because my mind is always half on the other stuff I have to do that day. I hate Wednesdays. Even though I technically could write as much, I won’t. Because all that cuts into my capabilities.

But this extends deeper than a day. It extends to hours of the day. Sometimes even minutes. It extends to what you have going on. It extends to how long it has been since you have taken a break. It extends to if you are hungry and definitely to if you have low blood sugar. It extends to you being tired. All of that contributes to lower word count numbers.

That’s not saying don’t work at the bad times. Work whenever you like, however you like. It does mean that the more you have going against you in a given writing period, the lower you have to set your word count expectations.

If you have been writing all day without a break and without food, you have to expect that your word count per minute will be significantly lower than at the opposite end of the day. That will bring your average down. So it’s either: don’t measure them equally, or do everything you can to mitigate the slow down.

This is relatively minor when it’s just this one time, to make up. But for most writers, that’s actually when most of their writing is happening: that “one” time to “make up.” And if that is the case, then it’s just a lie. It’s not a bad one but that is what it is. And what really has to be done is to treat that as the norm, and take care of yourself accordingly.

The first words out of Orson Scott Card to us going to his Uncle Orson’s Writer’s bootcamp were: “Exercise or Die.” Because it’s the same thing. Not metaphorically, just is. We don’t take care of ourselves because we don’t want to. We don’t have time. We can take care of ourselves when we’re caught up. It’s just this once. Nope. Because it’s not catching up. It’s that people choose “I want to be a writer,” as their WHY and the only way to fulfill that is to write, which is real trouble if you need to sustain your body while writing.

I know for my body, I’ve been in physical therapy for some years now. That’s not normal. But what my therapist keeps trying to hammer into my head is. What we, as writers, do with our bodies is not natural to our bodies and it does real damage. My physical therapist pretty much does say to me every other time that I have to get up. I can’t sit there for hours at a stretch. At least every 40 minutes you have to take a break, otherwise there will be physical repercussions.

That’s one of the reasons that the Pomodoro method is so popular and effective. Because it forces the body to move every thirty minutes. Not as convenient for the brain but the brain is part of the body, not the other way around.

The brain, as much as the rest of the body, needs food, exercise, and rest. Just to survive, let alone thrive. And we would say that to anybody except ourselves. Somehow we, as writers are exempt from self care. Yeah, right.  

Look back at Bela’s list. Writing isn’t the most important necessity, only the final one. You must write to have written. But you must sustain your capabilities in order to write. If you want to produce the most that you are capable of writing, the body must be maintained and cared for. You must be maintained and cared for. The more your body decays, the harder it is for your brain to work at peak efficiency. So if nothing else will get you to do it, do it for your word count. The healthier you are the closer you’ll be to your best. The less healthier you are, the more you will struggle to get those words down. And this is a cumulative effect.

Finally… Bella won’t go on that writing tear because she just doesn’t have to.

To be completely hypocritical given how much time I spend writing, nobody has to write like that. And it’s actually not the best way to write according to SCIENCE! Though to be a bit Republican about it, fuck the scientific establishment, you do you. And YOU can do your own science.

There are a lot of ways to write. There is no right answer to which is best. There are a lot of wrong answers to which is best for you. But you can figure those out. And among the possible right answers you can pull together and invent any number of strategies.

For myself, the most I have ever written in a single day was staying up all night in high school once to finish a short “novella” for the annual high school literary magazine. I wrote about 20 pages. So that was good. And then I didn’t write for three months. So that clearly wasn’t sustainable.

I did write for about seven years with the maxim of EVERY day. Better one sentence than nothing. And the longer it went, the more and more often it was just one sentence. Until I started talking to my therapist about it and she suggested I go into the mental hospital and not write anything for a while.

The most effective method in terms of word count per time for me, I honestly hate. It’s that same pomodoro method. Write for a short sprint, usually about 30 minutes, and when the alarm goes off, you stop. Period. No ifs. No ands. No buts. In the middle of ultimate inspiration you get your butt up and go take a break for a dead minimum of ten minutes.

Doing about six of those a day can pretty reliably bump up my numbers. But again, I hate it. It requires more self discipline than I usually have. It just has the advantage that I can’t get overused to what I’m doing or get as tired.

The other advantage it has is limits. Tasks expand to fill the time you have. You can give yourself too little time to write. You will not be able to meet your goals. For writing, you cannot give yourself too much time. You will just write and write and write until your time is up unless you’re already at the end. The Pomodoro method short cuts that. It teaches your brain that you don’t have all day. You have 30 minutes. That’s it. And your brain starts to respond to that and shove out more words at a time in an attempt to stretch the content instead.

But that’s timing, and honestly, that’s not what I usually find drives out the words. Timing and timers are great but it does come back to that WHY. Just adjusted for the moment. When I write, on the days I do well, I know why I am writing the particular section I am writing, I know how I want it to come out, and I know what general actions I want to happen. That combined with forcing myself to consider myself first and other things, like my word count, second are what really pushes me occasionally into the 5k+ realm in a day.

So how much are you pantsing and how much are you plotting? Would plotting more before you write help you to say more because you’d have goal posts?  Experiment. Be your own guinea pig. It might be the opposite. You might be plotting too much and you need to worry less about hitting these abstract goal points and more about just letting the words roll and feeling the emotion of the moment.

If I know that part of WHY I am writing Ashla & Bogan is that I want to actually demonstrate a friendship between Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi, so Obi Wan is being honest that Anakin was a good friend. Then HOW I want to do that today is to write about Anakin Skywalker trying to save Obi Wan Kenobi’s life by stealing him out of a medbay and racing him around the hospital just ahead of Count Dooku. It’s not a random chase. The necessary events have to be based around my central WHY, which confines me and points me the same as the Pomodoro. I know a lot about the basic structure of WHAT beats I actually want to write and what their goal is before I ever start typing. And as I type, the beats that need to flow in next generally come to me because I know, at the core, what I’m up to.

The less I have to come up with on the fly, the faster I go. When writing papers for school, which went faster? Having the research done and selected materials ready for access before starting the paper? Or writing the paper and then grabbing for materials for research in progress?

Fiction is not that different. You’re inventing the materials but if you are inventing in the middle of writing, you are devoting a lot of energy to that instead of just on how to communicate what you’re inventing. And that will slow you down. That’s why people’s speed usually improves moving towards more plotting instead of towards more pantsing.

Everyone’s mileage varies but you only have one pool of energy for the whole you. So two tasks concurrently usually slows people down, exactly the same as a computer. If I have to imagine up on the fly what Count Dooku is going to say, even in principle, when he catches up, then I have to pause and figure that all out in the moment. Even if I can keep writing, it’s not going to be as fast as if I just typed up the speech I already imagined. So, something to think about.

Also Improv skills can also help. I am really good with rolling with it. One of my favorite tools is, “Yes…”. Can Anakin outrun Count Dooku? Yes… and… Count Dooku can cheat and cut through the wall to catch up. Can Anakin beat Count Dooku? Yes… but… he can’t do it with a lightsaber. So can he draw on the Force to do it? Yes… the dark side. It cuts off about half of my possible decisions and makes me think faster with the added advantage that it naturally presents itself as point - counterpoint which works well in written fiction. So that might help you out as well.

And finally… the really terrible classist item that I can’t make fit anywhere else and is unfortunately 100% true. You have to spend money for a high word count if you want one. Not necessarily a lot but some is necessary.

There is just no way around this, you only have a choice of how you spend the money. And the hope that you have already spent it in some way. The people who venerate Kerouac and his ream of butcher paper and typewriter or that all you need are a pencil and paper are fooling themselves and fucking lying to you. The world has moved on. Not from the typewriter but from all the other people whose name doesn’t get on their name on the cover who made up for that style of production. Those people have all lost their jobs and consequently, we have lost the ability to rely on them to make up for our own troubles.

The barrier to entry for just starting writing is nearly non existent. That far, and no farther, they are right.

The barrier to regular continuation of writing is fairly high because we’re still not evolved to do it. Story yes. Writing no. We are not designed for this activity. And you have to compensate for the fact that you are destroying your body if you want to keep it up.

If you want to write and you want to write a lot, your body is going to suffer. We do a very different exercise but it’s the same thing in principle as athletics as a career. Thankfully, we can cheat in some ways that athletes can’t. Relatively modest increases in pricing can result in significant gains. And relative increases help us on similar levels to all or nothing investments. Which isn’t true for athletes so much.

The more you invest, the better off you are AND that doesn’t mean you have to invest a yacht’s worth. It can be that one sentence sort of thought. Just one sentence, just one way of taking care of yourself, is good enough to start with. Just keep doing it as you can and build what you have to build.

Myself, I have Scrivener, Word, Textedit and several other writing programs that I don’t use anywhere near as much as those three. Luckily, no one has to have Scrivener, and you can write in anything you like as long as it works for you. Doesn’t matter as long as it makes you comfortable. Luckily you can also put off Word until you are done with a story and actually feel like submitting it.

But if you are going to submit in any professional way, you MUST have Word. Period. Not an option.

Luckily, Word also has the advantage that it is one of the best programs for holding large document files. It knows how to work with novel sized data in ways that pretty much everything else doesn’t. That’s a perk. Take those where you can get them. Until you need Word, find the program that you love and stick with that. If it’s free, great. If it’s not… consider it a work related expense. Because it is. You need to spend that money to make your work quality. Because discomfort in your access to the document will slow you down. Always. Think of it like glasses. You need glasses in order to read, if you need glasses. You need a program you like in order to write to keep it all clear in front of you. This isn’t an option this is a need. Treat it that way. If you have any issues with your current program, take time to see if another program works better. That will let you go faster.

You also need something for hands, wrists, arms, back, etc.

I have a Herman Miller Aeron Chair. It was a gift. They are good. I don’t know that they are so much better than lower priced competitors that it is worth paying more than 1K for. It’s a chair. A good chair. A 1K+ chair… that I don’t know. I suspect you can spend a quarter of that and get something perfectly adequate in exactly the same ways. But you do need something. If I’m sitting on my bed instead, about 3 hours into the writing sprint, the ache in my back starts taking precedence over the ache in my soul to write. So, you need to find a way to stop that. It’s especially good to stop it before you notice it. Because you will start to slow down before you are consciously aware of the discomfort. Absolute best is to make yourself comfortable years before it rises to the level of consciousness. Because all this stuff has cumulative effect. One day of aches is bad, but sitting the way that will give you aches once your body gets older has a much greater and more painful effect. It’s what the teachers have always said, sit up straight or it’s going to stick that way. To which my response was ‘Fuck you,’ and now it’s stuck that way.

I have a Kinesis Advantage keyboard. Not the Kinesis Advantage 2, the first one. Because that’s how long they last. I’ve heard people say that they have had their Maltrons, (which the Kinesis is the cheap American knockoff of) for multiple decades. I’ve had mine right around a decade. It was and remains the best $350 I have ever spent - or the best $3 a month I’ve spent, paid up front, for the last decade. The reason I physically CAN type as fast as I do is the Kinesis. Because most of the little aches and pains of typing are gone. I can type thousands of words a day, every day, for months, without pain. But once you get carpal, your days are numbered. Every tiny little strain eats away at your body and makes you slower. It starts fast and it accelerates. It takes me longer to redevelop symptoms than it does to cure them with my good keyboard but there’s no point really. Much better is to never develop any symptoms in the first place. Because I cannot recommend hunting and pecking while wearing a wrist brace while it all still hurts.

Thankfully, from what I hear, there is a great spectrum of effectiveness for keyboards. You can spend less and still be in good shape. But if there is one bit of money that is going to help your typing speed, it’s forking over for a good ergonomic keyboard. You just CAN go faster on an ergonomic keyboard once you adjust than you can on a regular keyboard. And it keeps that wrist brace off.

Also, not necessarily monetary, usually more about time, look into how you type. I mostly touch type. Mostly. But I do better if I also look. There are also alternate layouts. Colmak actually has studies showing that it is faster. I have a keyboard overlay for Colmak but I never use it because I can’t adjust to it so far. So, it’s always looking for what works for you. The Qwerty touch type experience may not actually be best for you.

OR there’s 10K an hour’s essential tip: buy a microphone and Dragon Naturally Speaking. Because almost no one can type 10k an hour, no matter how prepared you are, or how good your keyboard, but a lot of people can talk at 10k an hour with some aggressive practice. I’ve done that. My results are middling at best. I think in tandem with my typing enough that I feel like I pause too much to make it worth it. But your mileage may vary. I’ve also been able to just use what came with my Mac almost as well. So it’s definitely not zero money but you might be able to get away with money you’ve already spent. Or not, as it pleases you. I guess it more likely that most people will not reach 10k an hour. Most will not reach 10k a day. Just ever. And holding yourself to something you can’t do, just because someone else can do it, is an unfair comparison between the two of you and an unfair expectation of your body. Find your maximum and build around it.

But also, most people have no reason to hit 10k or whatever. We’re not writing business proposals for the meeting on monday. We’re mostly taking time out of our lives to create something that has not existed before we tried to cram it into existence onto a page. That takes time. Same way making the lightbulb took time. You can’t go as fast if you are doing more or are having to loop back around again and again. Or as is most common: both. Writers are doing too much work to go at their top speed in other endeavors.

For instance, I wrote the first 4k of this in noticeably less time than it takes me to do half that word count in a piece of fiction. Because I don’t have to make any of it up. I don’t have to imagine it. This is just what’s already in my head. So it’s easier. Faster. Because it is a different activity. I can’t judge the two by the same standard.

Because this is transcription, really. I’m just putting down what I already think, more or less. Trying to create at the same time is another activity which takes from the same pool of energy and also takes time. So I have to go slower. Inevitably. And then there’s the reason I love Nanowrimo. While we’re trying to do two tasks that slow us down, we try to add a third one in there, elegance. We want to make sure that it doesn’t just go but that it also looks good doing it. Leave that for editing and you will go faster. I am a deep fan of the double parenthesis. “She ((however you move the stick shift to make it go faster)) and sped off into the night.” Or “He ((did something cool with his hair)) and winked.” Because the double parenthesis never occurs in regular writing and I can just search for it, and anything I put in it is an editorial note that means I never have to get a word right or interupt my flow to look up a detail. And if it’s a first draft, especially a Nano, I don’t need the right word, I need just whatever I need to know to figure it out later. If I even do that much work. When I’m being good ;) my shifting the time costs away from the moment of writing, creating before and editing after, I can do more writing in a given moment.

And yeah, that’s about what I currently know about it. Though I am always learning if I can. It comes down to:

Making sure you are measuring what you want to measure. And, if you are not. reconsidering your measure and measurements.

Have in your head specifically WHY you are doing what you’re doing.

Take care of your body.

Try not to write at the expense of your body, even at select times.

Try different schedules. Keep track of which schedules produce the best results.

Adjust your ratio of Pantsing to Plotting, even in specific scenes and sprints.

Spend some money to take better care of your body and your writing than you can yourself.

Treat creation, transcription, and elegance as three separate tasks. If you have to do all three at once, it’s going to take you longer than any of them on their own.

AND: Remember to not beat yourself up over any of this because all of it is hard. Treating it as easy is another way to delay yourself by devoting some of your limited energy to conflict with your own psyche. What you do is what you do. When it is done, it is done. If you decide you want to do better or more, work out a plan for experimentation going forward instead of focusing on how the last time wasn’t good enough.

I hope something in here helps ups how you are feeling about your productivity. It’s all opinion. And everyone is different, as you say. Experiment and see what works.

[whatareyour649]

college paper

About me

How Long Does It Take To Write 20 Pages?

How Long Does It Take To Write 20 Pages? So after I undergo it one more time, I might be contacting you once more to make preparations for an appraisal. (My son may also be verifying HIS “voice” continues to be entrance and center). Like grownup authors some are good and a few aren't. These can be associates, household, even trusted academics or coaches. You need to make sure that no matter remaining time you've, you dedicate to writing. You nonetheless have a shot, you simply need to make the most of every minute that is left. Procrastination nonetheless exists as a result of there are individuals who handle to procrastinate as a lot as possible, and still find yourself completing the work before the deadline, why? Because when things have to be done, you go and do them instead of sitting round fretting over them. If you might be into online essay writing, you might be a bit too familiar with working too near the deadline and utilizing smaller words to make a sentence longer so that you can increase the word rely. ” but the dialog feels strictly one-sided and I’m often left rambling about the way it’s solely something I do on the side, not my real job or anything, oh no, that would be loopy. In reality I do, and to explain why I want to return to that group college classroom fifteen years ago. The college students in that class have been by no means silly. They weren’t in the least intellectually lazy, either. And in order to write 1000 words per hour, you ought to be writing 16 to 17 words per minute, see that’s not hard at all. You just have to actually give attention to the problem at hand and begin writing as fast you can. Remember your typing pace might be more than 16 words per minute, so you’ve got this. But there are also lots of beta readers on the market and writing groups where you can collect suggestions on your writing – that is particularly helpful in the early days of writing. As it happens, I like the idea of getting someone that does not know me, or my son, learn and appraise the manuscript, and can probably avail myself of your providers. However, after writing my preliminary inquiry, I felt compelled to put my editing cap again on, and I am seeing the manuscript by way of “contemporary” eyes. I assume I understand that the explanation I go into such detail is as a result of I don’t trust the imagination of the reader to get them to the best place. And there are too many inconsistencies from too many earlier edits that happened too close together (making it troublesome for me to recollect what had been removed/modified/added, and when). It would definitely make family capabilities straightforward – I could merely say “I’m a author” and raise my arms. On event, the person might ask what I’ve written (“Can I get it at Amazon?”) or the dreaded “What are your books about? This view has no relationship to the fact I encountered in my years educating in group schools. After all, these students had been giving up their weekends to take an introductory English course. The controversy will soon be put to rest, presumably all the time, when writer Richard Grossman installs his three million-page novel Breeze Avenue on a remote mountain in Kaha, Hawaii. Although it is unclear what number of phrases Breeze Avenue comprises, an informed guess places the rely at over 1 billion. You have 5 hours to write, 5000 phrases, after which you need to be writing one thousand phrases per hour in case you are ever going to have the ability to finish it on time. Don’t panic, you did the math and it says that you are able to do this. If you had been sensible sufficient to argue with Maths, you really wouldn’t have been in this scenario in the first place. First issues first, you should not panic or stress because these two issues can severely hamper your productivity and that's something you simply can't afford proper now. Stressing can significantly block your thoughts and you might simply find yourself exerting your self even more and find yourself with the less satisfactory output. Instead, chill out, take a number of deep breaths, and after taking very little time to think about what you are going to write, start writing. However, if you're a person new to procrastination and have by some means discovered yourself an evening away from the deadline with 5,000 words to put in writing, we’ve received some ideas for you. According to the College Board report Admissions Decision-Making Models, admission officers have expressed concern about how a lot assistance college students obtain in getting ready an essay. Many institutions now ask candidates to sign an announcement avowing that the essay submitted is their own work. While an essay will hardly ever take an applicant out of consideration at a university, it actually can elevate an applicant in an admission committee’s eyes. The essay attracts distinctions between your student and different candidates, something that selective schools particularly depend on. Also, should you kind your manuscript, print out a duplicate , wait a day or so, after which learn it out loud to yourself to check for errors and flow. Mark any wanted adjustments on this as you read, then return and make any needed corrections in your typed manuscript. I ought to have it tattooed on my arm opposite the arm with the cat girl’s quote.

[surveystodestressme]

48.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 9

801. How often do you change your mood in a day? not a lot 802. When you ask people how they are doing you actually care about their answer or is it just polite? well, when i ask while i’m at work i’m just doing it to be polite but when i ask someone i know, i care. 803. Would you consider yourself to be very polite? yeah, i think so 804. Do you like movies and books that involve nuclear holocaust? sure? lol i don’t think i’ve ever read/seen any 805. Have you ever had a lucid dream (a dream in which you knew you were dreaming and had complete control over what happened in the dream)? i don’t think so.  i’ve tried to lucid dream (apparently there’s a specific way that you have to fall asleep in order to be able to do it.  i don’t think it works tho)

806. Have you ever had a flying dream? i’m sure as a kid i did 807. Have you ever had a lucid flying dream? nope 808. What’s the oddest law you ever heard of? none at the top of my head but i’ve looked up stupid laws before and there is plenty lol 809. What is the ultimate way to connect with another person? just getting to know each other and sharing things about yourself with them 810. Can you be intimate with someone without touching him or her? i think so? sexting ig 811. Can men and women ever really be ‘just friends’ with no interest in anything more? absolutely.  i have plenty of male friends and i don’t have interest in them whatsoever.  813. Are you addicted to this survey like drugs? no lol 814. If your significant other wanted to wait for marriage could you hold out or would you leave them (or would you cheat)? well, if you’re talking about sex we’ve already done it lol.  but if he wanted to wait, i would wait for him.  i love him 815. What’s the longest sentence you can make using only words that start with the same letter as your first name? cierra cried continuously covering curious cats cruelly.  that’s all i got 816. If you had a theme song what would it be? i’d have my friends write it for me 817. Are you cranky? yeah 818. Which group generally annoys you more, people older than you, or people younger than you? people younger than me for sure 819. Do you refer to older people as old farts? lol sometimes 820. Do you refer to younger people as the kids? usually 821. Which is better: Poems that everyone can relate to or poems that are intensely personal to the author? both are good honestly. 822. Is it worse to be too hot or too cold? too hot. 823. Are you so flexible that you can put your feet behind your head? nope 824. Would you enjoy reading fairy tales written about robots? i enjoy reading lots of things 825. Is smoking a turn on or gross? not a turn on lol kinda gross 826. What is the one way you wouldn’t want to die? drowning 827. Which would look sillier on you: A cowboy hat or a Rasta hat? a cowboy hat 828. Would you rather have a job doing something indoors or outdoors? indoors. 829. Would you rather learn more about human nutrition or meteorology? meteorology 830. Have you ever taken honors courses? yeah 831. What do you think of crop circles? they’re weird 832. Where do they come from? aliens??? 833. When was the last time you screwed up big time? a couple weeks ago 834. You have a choice. What do you eat: A veggie burger this one A turkey dog A cheese sandwich 835. Do you get a lot of random instant messages? nope 836. Do you have a paper journal also?

yes 837. VHS or DVD? i don’t care either way 838. Vinyl, cassette tape, or CD? casette man.  i never got a mix tape and i’ve always wanted one 839. Have you ever seen the video/heard the song Days Go By, performed by Dirty Vegas? nope 840. MTV: should it play more videos or more shows? more videos for sure 841. Name a band: five finger death punch Do fans of that band tend to share any characteristics with each other? i don’t know? i guess so 842. What does the expression 'touch and go’ mean? do something fast 843. Caffeine or alcohol? caffeine 844. Betty or Veronica? betty Archie or Reggie or Jughead? jughead 845. What book are you reading right now? i’m not currently reading a book although i need to 846. Is the news too depressing? sometimes 847. Would you rather have a stuffed lion, elephant, pig or duck? pig 848. Are you late for a very important date? not that i remember 849. Ever use star 69? yeah 850. Is everyone as smart as you? sure 851. Have you ever seen the musical Annie? nope 852. Sheets: silk or satin? silk 853. Bath: soap or bubbles? bubbles 854. Your best color: blue or red? blue. 855. What’s your favorite candy? sour punch straws 856. Can you sing? somewhat 857. It’s the end of the world, as we know it. How do you feel? a lil mad 858. You take your little sister (she’s 12) shopping for school clothes. Mom gave you the money to hold. She picks out a skimpy top emblazoned “Hottie” and hip-hugging pants that leave at least two inches of skin north and south of her navel exposed to the wind. She insists: If she doesn’t have these clothes, she’ll look awful, the other kids will tease her, and she’ll feel like a nerd. Do you think she should or should not wear these clothes? hell fucking no Do you buy them for her? absolutely not 859. What do you think is the most annoying cliché? everything will be okay 860. What band is underground right now but will one day get really popular? uhh.. idk 861. Of the following which word best describes you: versatile (flexible): this i guess. wonderful: x-tra special: your own best friend: zany: 862. What does BYOB stand for? bring your own beer 863. Who is sexiest: Marilyn Monroe James Dean yesss Elvis Jim Morrison Madonna Cyndi Lauper 864. Do you always do what’s expected of you? i try to 865. Do you believe everything you hear on the news? nope 866. Would you prefer a $100.00 gift certificate to Hot Topic or Abercrombie & Fitch (assuming neither store gives change, so you’ll have to spend the whole thing)? hot topic 867. Have you ever won a competition? not that i remember 868. Who looks sloppier when they are over weight, guys or girls? either honestly.  but only when it’s severely overwight 869. At what age do you become all grown up? in your late 20s or early 30s 870. Have you ever written graffiti on anything? nope 871. Can you remember what you wrote? - 872. Are you a force of nature? sure??? 873. What do you think of blue eye shadow? How about gold eye shadow? they can look good 874. Would you ever wear any of the following Halloween costumes: Flapper? Hippie? Disco dancer? i’d wear all of them. 875. Should birth control be taught in high school? How about in jr. high or elementary school? yes to both 876. Would you consider yourself a genius? not at all 877. What did you think of the movie Solaris? never seen it 878. Which is usually better movies or books? books allll the way.  but i love movies too 879. Do you think The Hobbit will be made into a movie? it already is 880. Do you research which brands use sweatshops to make their clothing before you shop? no but i probably should 881. What gives you a magical feeling? love? lol idk 882. Have you ever pulled apart a Christmas cracker? i don’t even know what that is 883. Would you rather watch basketball or play basketball? watch 884. Do you think that everyone makes his or her own problems? most of the time 885. Do you often consider how your actions will affect other people? sometimes 886. Are J-Lo and Ben Afleck interesting to you at all? not really 887. Do you use bad grammar or hate bad grammar? i hate it but i occasionally use it lol 888. Make up a tabloid headline: morgan freeman lives forever 889. Do you like to learn new things? yes. 890. What’s more important, fame or personal accomplishment? personal accomplishment. 891. Sweet dreams are made of this….What are they made of? goals? lol happiness??? idk man 892. Two trailer park girls go round the outside…Round the outside of what? idk 893. Are you wearing a piece of jewelry that means a lot to you right now? nope i don’t wear jewelry 894. If someone was going to inscribe a message on a ring and give it to you what would you want it to say? i love you? 895. Guys who are losing their hair: Should they shave their heads? Get implants? Or let it go? whatever they want to do 896. Do rock stars work hard or lead the easy life? a little bit of both 897. How much water do you drink every day? ,maybe a glass of day sometimes more 898. Are you driven or kinda apathetic? driven mostly 899. Who do you turn to when you are down? jack 900. Would you ever wear seran-wrap? no??? lol