#nightly thoughts

[blue-marbles]

I am trying to sleep, but I can't because my mind is stuck on one question:

Are Mandalorians a shoes on or shoes off culture when they are at someone's/their home?

Let me elaborate. As you probably know, in some cultures, you take off your outdoor shoes once you enter a private living space (not a store, or public building, etc.). In others, you seem to commonly keep your shoes on. And in some, it seems to be more of a case-by-case thing.

But what do Mandalorians do?

Boots do belong to beskar'gam, and beskar'gam is very important, culturally. The mental image of people hanging out in full armour but in socks is a bit weird, too. And in case something happens, you want to be ready and not have an entire aliit hurry to put boots on, right?

But then again, that somehow does not feel right. I cannot put my finger on why, though. I guess it might be both my own background as a firm 'no shoes in homes' person, but also the fact that, doing what they do, their boots would probably be rather dirty. Like, imagine the dirt you'd bring back in with you. Just as if you went hiking and came in with your dirty shoes. So, from that angle, it might make sense for them to actually take off their shoes.

The worst thing is, it is not even relevant. I am not working on any fic, or picture, or whatever I would need that information for. It is just a random thing my brain decided to latch on. And since I can't decide on what makes more sense:

Which one do you think is it? What makes more sense considering Mandalorian culture? Are there maybe even snippets of text that I can't remember that support either one or the other? Any thoughts, anyone?

[audreyandromedablog]

Whenever I say goodbye to someone, there's always a part of me hoping we end up with each other in another timeline. It burns a hole in my heart to pass someone that had deeply cherished me only to find out that in this life, we are not meant to last.

[acelynnfisher]

it’s 2 am and i want to be lying next to you,

with our hands locked together

and our legs intertwined.

i want your face buried in my neck,

and i want to listen to your breathing.

i want you to wake up and tell me

“i’m so tired”

so i can whisper back

“go back to sleep”

and i want to hold you tighter when you do.

i want to lie in bed alone with you

in the comforting quiet of the morning hours,

and maybe read a book while you sleep.

i want to be simple with you,

and i want to be whatever you need me to be.

[pieniebootekent]

Idea I was so excited about at 11 in the evening yesterday that I wrote it down lying in bed in the dark (idk if it makes sense to anyone else):

In an alternative universe, the RetJ fandom has assigned Mercutio the role of canary in a coal mine. He is the first to die in every universe. When things get worse in some way, he is the first to feel the consequences. Sometimes he knows what's going on. Sometimes he has no idea. Sometimes he resists, tries to defy fate with all of his might. Sometimes he moves towards his death willingly. It does not make a difference. He is always the first to die.

There would be so much art with bird symbolism, fics exploring this theme in a thousand ways and a lot of memes. Canary in a Coal Mine by The Crane Wives is added to almost every Mercutio playlist.

[thoughtfulfangirling]

Having finished The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson, I've got to say this is more in line with what I would have wanted to see in a Furiosa movie. What is the Furiosa in Fury Road seeking redemption for? Let me see the things she's done I would actually condemn her for. Have to look back at the version of her that feels so noble but riddled with guilt and wonder what she did to feel that way. Challenge my perception of the woman who worked in the cog of the machine long enough to be one of the most powerful within in it and turned around so long later to tear it all apart.

Or just don't at all. Let me imagine the ways she was complicit. Let me linger on the War Boys she literally drove into the storm to be beaten against the hull of her machine of power she finally operates. Let me see in the face of Toast the woman she could have been if she hadn't broken herself on survival and ambition.

The Furiosa movie was fun but did the one exact thing I feared it'd do and that was give her a tragic anime backstory instead of her villain arc.

[ghduck]

What are you guys up to tonight?

For example, I'm busy destroying my eardrums with loud music.

[catherinekal]

Just some musings on my place in the trans community and why it's hard for me to relate to a lot of what I see. Specifically the online trans community on here and in discords from years ago.

I think I've figured out that I relate more to the woman then the trans part of transwoman if that makes sense? When I did finally figure out I was trans after experimenting with being genderfluid it just made me realize that yeah, I'm in the wrong body, I need to be a cis woman. Long time later once I was actually able to safely get hormones I began that process, as small as that beginning is in this long uphill road.

There's just a lot this community takes seriously or focuses on that I just don't. For me being trans is a call to action. I know what I am, so now I need to transition. It's in the name itself. I was born in a guys body and I have to do what I can to reverse and change that because dysphoria fucking sucks! It's not fun and shitty and I hate how I had to wait this long to start this process. I stare at my shitty receding hair and am throwing what pills I can to stop it, and it's not exactly a fun time. The process is the point though. I can't just wish it away and feel like a woman in this body.

A lot of stuff I see here and on other places care about trying to reinvent gender or piss cis people off or exist outside of whats considered norm and I just don't care about that. More power to you, but that's not what being trans is to me. It makes relating to a lot of people here hard. I just wanna transition and live a happy life as a woman, idk. I'm not out here to make anyone uncomfortable or be this symbol of rebellion or anything like that. In my ideal future I live in Europe with my wife with laser hair and bottom surgery done. Just a happy lesbian couple enjoying life with all the hard scary parts of transitioning behind me.

I guess I don't have this attachment to the identify of being trans that others here have. I don't own a trans flag. I don't own the shark plushie. I do have a little trans pin I wear to work if only so there's a chance a customer sees it and thinks it's neat. For the most part though being trans is more about actions I need to take then who I am. That's the downside with fun cute trans stereotypes, if you don't meet most of them then you feel like an outcast.

I want bottom surgery. I want laser hair removal over most of my body. I want to wear makeup and wear feminine clothes and be cute and voice train and stuff that goes beyond just taking hormones. I want to pass as a cis woman one day. Every so often I'll see a post of someone vilifying passing or going stealth and I don't get why. I get it's not something most can do, including me currently, but those that can aren't doing anything wrong, at all.

People get mad and say passing is just for cis validation and god, shut the fuck up. I want to pass because dysphoria kicks my ass and I would like to have one less reason to think of suicide. I currently can't because my money is better spent, not being spent, and saving for a move to Europe one day. When that's done though then yeah I'm going all in, getting on those waiting list for surgeries, and voice training with my wife, and fighting dysphoria the only way that works for me. I can't wish it away, I can't use willpower to make it not exist. If you can do those things then that's awesome, but I can't relate to that.

I don't care to make cis people comfortable anymore then uncomfortable. I'm doing this for myself.

[hellen8v7]

He says ‘I love you’

But does he write a “poem” like Hannibal did?

[cammy-110]

sometimes you just need to disappear for a bit, romanticize the silence, and come back softer, wiser, and with better playlists.

[syltheanti]

i wonder where ''rules for thee but not for me'' came from. what about me screams that.

[audreyandromedablog]

I am in between breaking down, and building myself up again and again.

~A.A

[acelynnfisher]

i can feel myself

getting sicker.

i can’t remember

what it feels like

to live.

[xxbrattybelxx]

i'm always a mix of horny and sad

[scarlet-sam-chaos]

do stars dream?

do you think their biggest wish might be to explode in a debacle so grand that some living being, somewhere, with civilisation will take note of it?

and considering the fact that we see the sky as it existed billions of years ago

do you think if we scream out our love for them as they are- that they need not burn to be noticed, that the bravery they have to merely shine is itself a wonder to us- do you think they would hear us?

or will we see the remnants of their existence before our voices cover the distance between?

[edit:]

IM SORRY I JUST REMEMBERED THAT SOUND CAN NOT TRAVEL THROUGH VACUUM

no wonder the stars feel so abandoned to the point of feeling the need to burn for the words of praise and affirmation they shall never recieve

[chaossinthemind]

~cHiLdHoOd~

I waited all my life to get here, What the hell did I sign up for?

As I blow the flames to cut the cake, I wished for a fucking manual

Take me back, take me back, to the kid who just turned 13

Who would laugh, make you laugh, now a days that’s just not like me

If I could go back in time to tell myself...

Life’s gonna be hard

Stay being a kid

Don’t grow up to fast

Cause this adulting ain’t shit

Lifes gonna be hard

But Some days will be good

And if tomorrow is not promised

enjoy your childhood.

I lay awake at night these days, thinking of what I could have been

It was much easier to day dream, When I thought I’d be president

Take me back, take me back to the stubborn girl who’s 16

Thinking that, thinking that, I had it figured out and complete

If I could go back in time and tell myself

Life’s gonna be hard

Stay being a kid

Don’t grow up to fast

Cause this adulting ain’t shit

Lifes gonna be hard

But Some days will be good

And if tomorrow is not promised

enjoy your childhood

~Leah

[cammy-110]

you touch me like you’ve known every version of me

the quiet the cruel the soft parts i buried

and somehow you still stay

you kiss me like it hurts to want someone this much

like you’d rather bleed than let go

and i let you every time

because loving you feels like falling into the ocean at night

terrifying endless

and somehow the safest i’ve ever felt