#nobody is allowed to judge me

[lkluvsu]

when you meow about quevedo 😋

hey. that was meant for the dms

[bouncehousedemons]

Going to see Thunderbolts tonight.

[petercushingscheekbones]

Man who just walked into coffee shop and is acting like total psychopath, this is Patrick Bateman in American psycho behaviour

[bloodibambiidoll]

Also how come nobody told me Bridgerton was basically 1800s Gossip Girl?🤨 I would’ve been all over this shit aaaages ago. I literally stayed up so late watching almost the entire first season this shit fuckkkss.

[clockworksheep2]

need to draw what i look like when im Really not doing well bc i stg my face looks like a sickly victorian ghoul child. it is genuinely kind of fucked up fjfkdl i just felt my heart fuckin jump when i walked past a mirror bc im still not totally used to my longer hair length + my face is getting that bad sunken look bc of the sleep issues and everything else going on

[theemporium]

lowkey running late so might not edit this fic🤠just post and hope for the best!!

[streetlightsontheriver]

Even fictional female characters aimed at children are far more likely to be further feminized in adaptations, toy releases, etc, than masculinized/androgynized. Children publicly living as girls are not in danger of not knowing that it's okay for them to be feminine, lmao.

"Why not make female heroes more feminine so girls know you don't have to be masculine to save the world" is misguided. The target audience of heroic adventure genre is not children who actually save the world in a literal sense, it's children who want a cathartic outlet for the struggles and injustice they face. And one of the most common types of injustice that many girls and children assumed to be girls are subjected to is forced feminization.

[maedhrosiseverything2me]

oh God, the amount of people who hate them in the comments and reblogs are making me laugh so hard, I love you guys😂.

lemme put the tags that I liked and agree with👇🏻.

[bisexualmikisayaka]

despite being a shounen and seinen fan for most of my anime/manga existence i did come to both media through shoujo so you will never catch me hating on the genre. i'll never forget my roots! i don't engage with it as much as i want to these days especially with the newer stuff (despite everything i have bookmarked and am planning to read lol) but boy when the nostalgia hits it HITS

[homunculus-argument]

I know it's useless to ruminate, but I've been thinking about the way I was raised, and the indirect ways I was taught that the rules and standards are different for me and for other people.

I was taught to never judge anyone, but also that I should not embarrass my family by acting or appearing any way that people would judge. I was taught that it was rude of me to talk on and on about things that are boring, but also that it was rude of me to not listen attentively when someone else was talking on and on about things that bore me. That people were allowed to take their anger out on me, but that I was not allowed to be angry at anyone or anything. That everyone's feelings are vaild and their actions are understandable, except for mine of course.

If they ever heard me say this, my family would argue "nobody ever explicitly said that to you, word-for-word, at your face, so therefore none of this is true", but they did, indirectly and inadvertently, teach me that I must always be nice, patient, polite, understanding, and good to people, but that it's preposterous of me to expect anyone else to treat me as nicely as I'm expected to treat them.

I was taught what is, and what is not, the appropriate way to treat other people, and to unconsciously understand that I don't really count as "people".

[oneofthosecrazycatladies]

Okay a couple weeks ago I started this post trying to keep track of all the stuff going on in order to help remind us of everything that’s happened when the next election comes around. Well, because there’s just so much going on, I’ve realized trying to cram it all into one post isn’t going to work. So I’m going to do a new post every month and include links to the previous ones.

So here goes…

January 2025

February 2025

Donald Trump has enforced his tariffs on Mexico, Canada, and China. [x]

Donald Trump has put Mexico tariffs on hold for one month. [x]

Donald Trump allowed Elon Musk to begin dismantling USAID. [x]

Congress is voluntarily giving up its power and allowing Trump to make unilateral decisions. [x]

Darren Beattie has been made Under Secretary of State. [x]

Everything that Donald Trump has done so far lines up with Project 2025 [x]

The White House is drafting an executive order to eliminate the Department of Education [x]

Elon Musk, who nobody voted for or elected, has, essentially, hacked the government. [x]

El Salvador has agreed to take US deportees of any nationality. [x]

US Representative Andy Biggs is proposing a bill to abolish OSHA. [x]

Pam Bondi has been confirmed as Attorney General [x]

Donald Trump doesn’t think Palestinians should return to Gaza. [x]

Donald Trump says he’ll use US troops to “take over” the Gaza Strip. [x]

A federal judge has blocked Donald Trump’s executive order to end birthright citizenship. [x]

Donald Trump has banned trans women from women’s sports [x]

Donald Trump sanctions the International Criminsl Court. [x]

A judge has paused the federal “buyouts” [x]

DOGE: Member of DOGE resigns [x]

DOGE has been given access to the Department of Energy. [x]

Miscellaneous news about Elon Musk [x]

DOGE is using AI to infiltrate the Department of Education [x]

Russell Vought, author of Project 2025, has been confirmed as Director of OMB [x]

Democrats in Congress have introduced the Taxpayer Data Protection Act [x]

Donald Trump has flagged the words “women” “diverse” and “historically” from studies done by the National Science Foundation. [x]

New Mexico Representative Melanie Stansbury has introduced the Nobody Elected Elon Musk Act [x]

Democratic Congressional leaders have introduced the Stop the Steal Act [x]

Donald Trump has called for a review of funding for the United Nations [x]

Federal agencies are barred from celebrating Black History Month [x]

Donald Trump has frozen aid to South Africa and accused the South African government of racism against white South Africans [x]

Donald Trump wants to use Leavenworth Prison as a migrant detention facility and have it run by a for-profit company known for its numerous human rights violations. [x] [x]

Trump has told the Treasury to stop making pennies. [x]

Representative Mark Pocan (D-WI) proposes the E.L.O.N. M.U.S.K. Act (which stands for Eliminate Looting of Our Nation by Mitigating Unethical State Kleptocracy) [x]

Employees of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau were told to stop all work and are now being told to stay home. [x]

Trump will impose 25% tariffs on steel and aluminum. [x]

Trump says Palestinians won’t be allowed back in Gaza if the US takes it over [x]

Tulsi Gabbard has been confirmed as director of national intelligence. [x]

Representative Buddy Carter (R-GA) has proposed a bill to change the name of Greenland to Red, White & Blue Land [x]

The DOJ has dropped the corruption charges against New York City mayor Eric Adams. [x]

An AP News reporter has been banned from the White House for using Gulf of Mexico instead of Gulf of America in its reporting. [x][x]

Senators Deb Fischer (R-NE) and Angus King (I-ME) are pushing for a tax credit that would encourage businesses to offer paid family leave. [x]

Representative Sara Jacobs (D-CA) has introduced the Protect US National Security Act [x]

The State Department (taxpayers) is paying Elon Musk $400 million for cybertrucks. [x]

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has been confirmed as HHS Secretary. [x]

Trump is conducting a mass firing of the federal workforce. [x]

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is creating a list of all the ‘woke’ science he wants to get rid of. [x]

References to transgender have been removed from the Stonewall National Monument. [x]

A 71 year old refugee living in Thailand has died because of the USAID freeze. [x][x]

Trump’s proposed tax cuts will add trillions to US debt. [x]

Trump is defying the court order to reopen USAID. [x]

Trump has stopped the CDC’s flu vaccine campaign. [x]

Trump is suing Brazil’s Supreme Court because of Brazil’s battles with Elon Musk over Twitter/X. [x]

Kash Patel has been confirmed as FBI director. [x]

Trump orders FEMA to stop their work with making homes better at withstanding natural disasters. [x]

Kash Patel will be named chief of the ATF [x]

Trump has tried to make independent agencies no longer independent [x]

$200 million of taxpayer money was used on a pro-Trump anti-migrant ad [x]

The House of Representstives passed a bill that gives more than $4 trillion in tax cuts for the wealthy and cuts the budget for Medicaid by 80% [x]

Here’s a summary of Trump’s executive orders so far [x]

The Trump administration has issued travel bans for trans athletes [x]

Trump administration is telling federal agencies to prepare for more mass layoffs [x]

Elon Musk joined Trump’s first cabinet meeting. [x]

Trump is offering “gold cards” to wealthy foreigners [x]

Kash Patel names Dan Bongino as Deputy Director of the FBI. [x]

Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) has proposed legislation for the US to leave the United Nations [x]

Judge rules mass firings of federal workers is unlawful [x]

The Pentagon orders all transgender people to be removed from the military [x]

Representative Victoria Spartz (R-IN) was going to vote against the budget bill that would cut nearly $1 trillion from Medicaid; then she got a phone call from Trump who apparently screamed at and threatened her; she then voted yes on the bill [x]

Trump administration has cancelled boot camps for women training to become Wildland firefighters [x]

Here’s a link to the Project 2025 Policy Agenda that Donald Trump claimed he didn’t know anything about.*

*He only claimed he didn’t know anything about it after it proved to be deeply unpopular with the general public.

I’m also including directories for both the House of Representatives and the Senate. That way, if you’re so inclined, you can also track the individual actions of every Senator and Representative.

Miscellaneous News

Representative Nancy Mace (R-SC) repeatedly uses a transphobic slur on the Congressional floor. [x]

Clarence Thomas is…being Clarence Thomas *sigh* [x]

Donald Trump fired the Chair of the Kennedy Center and named himself as the new Chair [x]

Trump said that no group of people in the history of America has been treated worse than the way the January 6th insurrectionists have been treated. [x]

Some people are impersonating ICE agents and harassing & assaulting people of color [x][x]

Trump’s mass deportation is hitting a wall [x]

The Trump administration’s incompetence is coming back to bite them. [x]

Target has been facing backlash for rolling back its DEI initiatives. [x]

Donald Trump Has Already Spent $10.7 Million Of Taxpayer Money Playing Golf [x]

The Kennedy Center cancelled a performance of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington DC [x]

21 DOGE employees have resigned [x]

Musk’s new conflict of interest [x]

Trump posted an AI-created video about his plans for Gaza [x]

Here’s a Washington Post story about the migrants sent to Guantanamo Bay and the conditions they’re facing [x]

Trump supporters are calling for “processing camps” and private militias to go after migrants. [x]

Representative Cory Mills (R-FL) has been accused of assault and the Department of Justice is refusing to investigate [x]

A child has died in the measles outbreak in Texas [x]

China and Russia are trying to recruit disgruntled federal employees [x]

Elon Musk is trying to force the FAA to get rid of their contract with Verizon in favor of a contract with his company, Starlink [x]

Elon Musk makes $38 billion in government contracts [x]

Trump thinks that Andrew Tate is a totally okay guy [x]

The director of the Defense Health Agency abruptly retired [x]

March-June 2025

Once again, please feel free to let me know about anything I’ve missed. With this era of constant news we live in, it can be easy to forget so let’s give our future selves a little help!

[colossrat]

Batman: Captain, you're hurt. Is there someone you want to get in touch with?

Well… Vic (cyborg) is already there, Barry and Diana too… who else is he friends with?

Constantine? Yes, but John doesn't like the league and will give him a hell of a lecture for getting hurt…

Harley? poison ivy? Batman wouldn't like to know they were friends. two-faces? oh- absolutely not.

Captain cold? No. Snart knows Billy, not Cap. And Batman wouldn't like that either. Maybe Barry would like…?

Freddy and Mary are probably sleeping right now…

Marvel: Can you… can you call the Fawcett zoo, sir? I have a friend who works there… I'd really like to see him right now. and say that I'm fine.

Bat makes the call, Billy asks for the phone and they chat for a while

Marvel on the phone: Oh, no, no… I'm high right now- Noo! its cus im right above the sky-- I'm fine, just space... But I think I'm also high on morphine yea, some opioids yes… no? Oh, I would love to! Yes. Uhm. The one next to… yes-- I know- i know you know, and you know, I know you know! Stop fishing. Yes, waits waits, buh-bye!! I'll see you soon. mwaaah and he gives the phone back to batman Marvel: Hey? Boss? My friend is coming to bring me some tea that I like, kay? to make me feel better. Don't be rude to him, he's called mister tawky tawny. Just stay cool, okay? Be cool…

And he drops his head on the pillow and falls asleep, snoring loudly

Nobody understands a thing and from what Batman researches, Tawky Tawny is a tiger from the zoo, and they think the captain was just delirious on morphine But not five minutes later, a bipedal tiger in a suit arrives at the watchtower via the Zeta Tubs using the captain's credentials. he carries a little madam's bag that is carrying a tea kit and some biscuits

Tawny presents himself as the gentleman he is with an education that would make Alfred blush, but he doesn't allow anyone to slow him down. He goes straight to the room where the captain is, because he can smell him maybe? The league doesn’t know for sure.

There, he takes a small table and a portable OVEN from Madame's tiny ass little bag and begins to make tea. to. make. tea. The second Tawny opens the cookie jar, Marvel wakes up to the sound and smell and starts crying with joy at seeing his best friend and familiar

he introduces him to the whole league while drinking tea and stuffing his mouth with cookies, fat tears streaming down his face and tawny just enjoys his friend's company and takes care of him, but he doesn't avoid giving a dirty look to anyone who decides to judge their friendship

Tawny, pretending to be hurt: I'm surprised by your surprise. Don't you talk about me, cap?

Marvel, afraid that he hurt the tiger's feelings: I do!!! I talk about u all the time, all the time!!! they know you are my best friend!!!

Superman: it's true! he speaks a lot and very highly of you, we just--

Barry: we thought you were crazy, bro! Tim was hacking the watchtower cameras at that time by coincidence, so in a matter of minutes Damian would be running there to see the bipedal tiger and ask to pet him and tell him everything he knows about tigers

[nhmkhnh]

HEY EMO GIRL! 

PAIRINGS: DOM!VI X SUB!FEM!READER

PREFACE: so pretty don't be coy, come on fuck me emo girl!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: ʕ·ᴥ·　ʔ hellooo chat i’m back. and yes, i did swear not to write smut… soooo i’m just posting my pre-written drafts instead hahaaaa loophole fully activated 😌 enjoyyy!! 

WARNING(S): lowercase, explicit content (minors & men dni) 

TAGS: emo!vi ;; punk/goth!vi ;; obssesive!vi ;; strap-on sex ;; choking kink ;; overstimulation ;; praise / degradation ;; strap riding (v.receiving) ;; sloppy oral (r.receiving) ;; marking kink ;; face fucking (r.receiving) ;; dirty talk central. 

navigation. 

1. she only smiles for you.

vi’s resting bitch face is legendary. deadpan. hood up. music blaring. nobody dares to talk to her on campus—except you. and every time you do? that hard shell cracks. she smirks, lip ring catching the light, voice dropping an octave just for you.

“look at you, baby. givin’ me a reason to pretend i’m okay.”

she only ever softens when you're around, and everyone notices. she's your big, tatted, emotionally unavailable emotional support goth gf. you’re her peace.

2. you're the only one allowed in her bed.

vi’s mattress is on the floor, black sheets, posters peeling off the wall. no one’s allowed in her room. ever. except you.

she doesn't say it out loud, but when you curl up next to her in one of her oversized band tees, she turns the volume down on her playlist, tugs you into her arms, and mutters against your skin:

“you fit better than the drugs did.”

sometimes she doesn’t even touch you sexually—she just wants to hold you, nose in your hair, hand tucked under your sleep shirt like she’s scared you’ll disappear.

3. jealousy hits like a punch.

she swears she’s chill. she’s not. one time you laughed a little too long with someone else and vi was already pulling you aside, jaw tight, voice low and rough in your ear:

“you think he gets you? think he knows what you sound like when you beg?”

she never raises her voice. but when she gets jealous? she gets mean. possessive. her voice goes soft and cruel. she’ll pin you to the wall and make you look her in the eyes while she reminds you who you belong to.

4. she likes it when you cry.

not in a sadistic way. but in a "you trust me that much?" kind of way. the first time you cried in front of her, thinking she’d judge you, she just kissed your wet cheeks and whispered,

“good girl. let it out.”

and then she cradled you like you were glass and she was built to protect broken things. her love is quiet, aching. she doesn’t know how to say “i love you,” so she shows it—in bruises, in touches, in staying awake until you fall asleep first.

5. she calls you her sweet thing (but only in private).

out in public, you’re “babe,” “you,” or just a grunt and a head tilt. but behind closed doors? when her hands are under your shirt and your thighs are shaking around her head?

“sweet thing.”

drawled slow like syrup, lips against your thigh, and every time you hear it you whimper.

she loves how soft you are. how gentle. she needs it—needs you. her hands are rough, her past is darker than she’ll ever say, but with you? she slows down. she becomes something almost tender.

6. she gets off on making you ask.

vi never initiates. she doesn’t have to. she’ll just sit there in her tank top, tattoos out, thighs spread lazily on the couch, and wait. wait for you to squirm. to crawl into her lap.

“you want something, baby?”

she makes you say it. every time. and when you finally break and beg for her to touch you, she grins. real slow. like she knew you’d fold eventually.

“that’s what i thought. c’mere.”

7. she’ll ruin her reputation for you.

everyone thinks she’s cold. detached. probably mean. but then they see her kneeling behind you at a party to tie your shoe. carrying your bag. sitting next to you in class, drawing little hearts in your notebook while glaring at anyone who stares too long.

she’d set the world on fire for you—but she’d rather light your cigarettes and kiss your fingertips. you’re her secret softness. and if anyone even looks at you the wrong way? they’re done.

8. when she snaps, she snaps.

you push her sometimes—accidentally. you're a brat without meaning to be. and when you act like you're not hers? when you flirt or tease or pull away?

she loses it. quietly.

pulls you into the nearest room, slams the door, and suddenly she’s got your hands pinned above your head, her voice a low snarl:

“wanna be cute? be cute for me. only me.”

she’ll ruin you slowly—kiss by kiss, bite by bite, fingers under your skirt while you whimper her name. and when you're trembling and spent, she’ll press her forehead to yours and whisper:

“say you’re mine again. louder this time, baby.”..

❢ smut headcanons.

1. she fingers you with her rings on (on purpose).

she knows what she’s doing. that thick silver ring with the skull? yeah, that one’s intentional. she’ll press it just right against your gummy walls while two fingers curl inside you.

“feel that, baby? that’s me. you’re gonna think about this ring every time you sit down.”

you do. you really do. sometimes you still throb just seeing her hands.

2. her strap game is feral.

her strap is always black, thick, and veiny—like her attitude. she’s got multiple sizes, but for you? she brings out the one that makes your voice crack.

she’ll push in slow, watch your face crumble, and then smirk.

“so fucking pretty when you split for me. you’re taking it, yeah? you’re not gonna quit on me now.”

she doesn’t stop until you’re limp, soaked, and drooling into the pillow.

3. she lives to make you cry.

not out of pain. out of overstimulation. she’ll eat you out until your thighs are twitching, then go again. and again.

you’ll push her head away and she’ll just grab your wrist, pin it to the sheets, and moan into your pussy.

“one more for me, sweet thing. one more. be good.”

you come so hard you forget your name.

4. she gets soaked when you beg.

vi is a sucker for hearing you whimper. especially when you're desperate. her favorite?

“please, vi. please fuck me. please, i need it.”

she’ll literally grunt, grab you by the throat, and shove her strap in so hard your back arches off the bed.

“that’s my fucking girl.”

5. she puts you in her lap to ride her strap.

tank top on. dog tags swinging. tongue pressed to her cheek as she watches you struggle to take all of it.

she won’t move—you do the work.

“come on, baby. you wanna act like you’re so needy? prove it. bounce on it like a good girl.”

she holds your hips down and grinds up until you're sobbing into her neck.

6. she chokes you gently… then not so gently.

her hands are so big. and when you’re bratty? she wraps one hand around your throat, pushes your back into the mattress, and stares down at you with her lip ring between her teeth.

“say sorry.”

you do. but she keeps squeezing. just a little.

“say it like you mean it.”

you come while gasping for her.

7. she marks you on purpose.

vi’s teeth are sharp. and her possessiveness gets worse during sex. she’ll bite down on your shoulder hard enough to bruise while railing you from behind.

“you’re mine. all mine. i don’t want anyone else even looking at you.”

you wear turtlenecks for a week after.

8. she jerks off while watching you suck her strap.

on nights when she’s feeling particularly mean? she’ll sit back, spread wide, strap on, black briefs pushed down, and watch you crawl between her thighs.

you suck it like it’s her real cock, moaning and gagging while she fists her own hair and moans your name.

“look at that pretty mouth. fuck. you were made to choke on me, huh?”

she doesn’t stop until your mascara’s ruined and you’re a breathless, drooly mess.

[kathaelipwse]

Worlds Apart | C.Seungcheol

Popular!Seungcheol x Scholar!Reader Trope: Angsty Lovers | Second Chances (kinda) | Push-and-Pull Romance Warnings: Heavy Angst | Emotional Hurt/Comfort | Intense Feelings | Mentions of Self-Worth Issues | NO PROOF READING WAS DONE Synopsis: You tried to walk away. You told yourself it was for the best. That Seungcheol’s world was too bright, too untouchable for someone like you. But when he kneels before you, hands trembling, eyes filled with a love you don’t think you deserve—you start to wonder if you’ve been running from the wrong thing all along. Word count: 4.2k Reading Time: 15-ish mins Author’s note: This is a heavy, emotion-driven piece that explores love, self-worth, and the struggle of letting yourself be loved. Hope you enjoy the angst- (I cried while typing- Got no idea WHY i am writing so much angst- It scares me haha) Have an amazing day/night y'll!!

--

You were fine being invisible. It was safer that way. No attention, no judgment, no cruel words whispered behind your back.

A quiet existence, a solitary path, a refuge from the harsh realities of a world that didn’t seem to have a place for you. You learned to blend into the background, to become a shadow, a whisper, a footnote in the grand narrative of the university.

And then Seungcheol noticed you.

He didn’t just see you; he saw you. He dragged you into the light, not with a forceful hand, but with a gentle persistence that chipped away at the walls you had so carefully built. He sat next to you in the bustling cafeteria, his presence a shield against the judging eyes, his laughter a melody that drowned out the whispers.

He fought for you, not in grand, dramatic gestures, but in subtle, unwavering ways—a quiet defense against the casual cruelty of his peers, a silent promise that you weren’t alone. He walked you home after your late-night shifts, filling the silence with laughter and stories, making you feel like you weren’t just a scholarship student working two jobs to survive in a private university full of people who would never know what it meant to struggle. He saw the fire in your eyes, the resilience in your spirit, the quiet strength that you kept hidden from the world.

He made you feel like you belonged. Like you were seen, valued, cherished. He made you feel like you were worthy.

But people like you? You don’t get happy endings. The world doesn't allow it. The universe doesn't permit it. You were a realist, after all. You understood the rules of the game.

Because someone—one of his rich, entitled friends—hurts you. Maybe it’s words, sharp and cutting, designed to wound. Maybe it’s something worse, a subtle act of sabotage, a calculated humiliation. Either way, it’s enough to break you, to shatter the fragile hope that Seungcheol had ignited within you.

It happened after the game. The roar of the crowd, the blinding lights, the electric energy of victory—it was a world you had only ever observed from the periphery, a spectacle you watched from the shadows. Seungcheol, the star, the hero, the center of everyone's attention, had led the team to another championship win. The arena was a sea of adoring faces, chanting his name, their voices a symphony of praise.

You stayed at the very back, a shadow in the corner, a silent observer. You were the stagehand, the unseen hand that ensured the show went on, the unsung hero who worked tirelessly behind the scenes. You were only here because you were in charge of managing the after-party setup, a duty assigned to you as part of your scholarship work, a constant reminder of your place in this world. You were just the nobody scholarship student working behind the scenes, running around with a clipboard while the real students—the ones who actually belonged here—partied like they ruled the world.

Seungcheol caught your eyes right before he was hoisted onto shoulders. For a fleeting moment, a foolish, reckless hope sparked in your chest, a dangerous flicker of belief. That maybe, just maybe, he would see you, would choose you, would break through the sea of adoring faces and come to you first. That maybe, just maybe, you were something more than a fleeting interest, a passing fancy.

But then a voice shattered that fragile illusion, a voice laced with venom and disdain, a cruel reminder of your place.

“You really thought he’d run to you?”

You turned, your heart sinking, your breath catching in your throat. A group of students stood there, their designer clothes and arrogant expressions a stark contrast to your worn uniform, their eyes filled with a mixture of pity and contempt. Seungcheol’s friends, the ones who always looked at you like you were an unwelcome guest, a stain on their perfect world.

One of them, a girl named Mina, with perfect hair and cruel eyes, stepped forward, her voice dripping with false pity, her words laced with venom.

“God, you really are delusional. You think he actually cares about you? You’re just a novelty, a distraction.”

You opened your mouth, but another voice cut in, sharp and dismissive, a cruel echo of your deepest fears.

“You’re embarrassing him.”

That one hit different, because this time, it was one of the guys from the basketball team, Jaehyun, one of Seungcheol’s closest friends, someone you had thought might understand.

“Hanging around like a lost puppy, acting like you actually have a chance with him,” he scoffed, arms crossed, his eyes filled with disdain. “Do you even hear yourself? Do you know what you look like? Pathetic.”

You felt your stomach drop, the air thick with humiliation, the weight of their judgment crushing you.

“I—”

“Do you know what people say about you?” Mina interrupted, tilting her head, her eyes gleaming with malice, her voice laced with poison. “That you’re his little charity case. His pet project. Something to amuse him.”

Laughter rippled through the group, a cruel, mocking sound that echoed in the vast arena, a chorus of disdain.

“Poor Seungcheol,” someone else mocked, a tall, lanky guy named Junho. “Always looking out for the underprivileged. Such a saint. So noble.”

You couldn’t breathe. The whispers, the glances, the subtle rejections—you had endured them all. But hearing it from his closest friends, from the people he shared his life with, was a different kind of pain. It was a betrayal, a confirmation of your deepest fears, a stark reminder that you didn’t belong.

“You should just disappear already,” Mina sighed, her voice laced with false concern, her eyes gleaming with triumph. “Save yourself the humiliation. Do him a favor. Just go away.”

That was the moment something inside you snapped, a fragile thread breaking under the weight of years of insecurity and self-doubt. You shouldn’t have let it get this far. You shouldn’t have let yourself believe, even for a second, that you and Seungcheol were anything more than a fleeting moment, a mistake waiting to happen.

So when you finally found him in the crowd, his eyes searching for you, a flicker of concern in their depths, you turned away. You walked past him like he was a ghost, a phantom, a figment of your imagination, a dream you had foolishly dared to believe in.

And when he grabbed your wrist, his touch warm and insistent, when he looked at you with nothing but pure concern, you ripped your hand free and whispered, your voice barely audible, a broken echo of your shattered hope,

“I just want to be invisible again.”

And the way his face shattered right in front of you, the way his eyes filled with a pain that mirrored your own, almost made you stay. Almost. But people like you? You don’t get happy endings.

So you left, disappearing into the shadows, and you didn’t look back, your heart a heavy weight in your chest.

You disappeared after that night.

No texts. No calls. Nothing.

A ghost in the machine.

Winter break feels endless. Cold. Empty. A barren landscape devoid of warmth.

Seungcheol spends weeks staring at his phone, waiting for your name to pop up, a desperate vigil.

It never does.

The silence is deafening, a constant reminder of your absence.

His friends try to cheer him up, but he’s not the same.

The laughter, the confidence—it’s all forced now, a hollow echo of his former self.

The joy has been leached from his eyes.

The basketball court doesn’t feel the same.

The thrill of the game, the camaraderie of the team—it’s all muted, a pale imitation of what it once was.

Nothing feels the same without you.

Every time he sees something you would’ve liked—a worn paperback, a cheap cup of coffee, a little trinket from a street vendor—his chest aches, a sharp, stabbing pain.

It’s a constant reminder of what he’s lost.

And at night, when it’s quiet, he hears your voice, a haunting melody in the silence.

"We don’t belong together, Seungcheol."

But he still refuses to believe that.

He clings to the hope that you’ll come back, that you’ll see that you belong with him.

The moment classes start again, you avoid him.

A master of evasion.

You’re a ghost, a whisper in the wind.

You change routes, take the long way around campus just so you won’t run into him.

A desperate attempt to erase yourself from his life.

He notices.

Of course, he notices.

He sees the way you duck your head, the way you pretend he doesn’t exist—

It destroys him.

A slow, agonizing erosion of his spirit.

Every time he gets close, you slip away, a phantom in the crowd.

Every time he calls your name, you pretend you don’t hear, a cruel denial of his existence.

The team notices.

His friends notice.

"Dude, what the hell happened over break?" they ask, their voices filled with concern.

But Seungcheol doesn’t talk about it.

He just clenches his jaw and keeps chasing after the girl who doesn’t want to be found.

A relentless pursuit fueled by love and desperation.

One night, you’re walking home, the streetlights casting long shadows.

And he finally catches you.

His heart pounds in his chest as he reaches for your wrist.

Not hard, not forceful—just enough to make you stop running.

A gentle but firm hold.

"Stop."

His voice is raw, broken, filled with a pain he can no longer contain.

You freeze, your back to him, shoulders tense.

You don’t turn around.

Your heart hammers against your ribs.

"Look at me."

His voice cracks—pleading, desperate.

"Please, just look at me. Give me a reason."

You swallow hard, trying to regain control.

But you don’t move, your feet rooted to the spot.

And that’s when he breaks.

"I spent the entire break waiting for you."

His voice shakes, trembling with emotion.

"Do you know how fucking empty everything felt without you? It was like the world had lost its color."

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying not to cry.

Trying to block out his words.

"You left, and I—"

He exhales sharply, his breath catching in his throat.

"I haven’t been okay since. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. All I can think about is you."

Silence hangs in the air.

Thick with unspoken emotions.

Then, barely above a whisper—

"You weren’t supposed to wait for me, Cheol."

Your voice is filled with a sadness that mirrors his own.

That’s when he turns you around, his hands trembling slightly.

When he cups your face with both hands.

Forcing you to see just how wrecked he is.

To witness the depth of his pain.

"You think I had a choice?"

His eyes are filled with tears.

His voice is full of pain.

Full of love.

"I’ll always wait for you."

It’s a promise.

A vow.

A declaration of his unwavering devotion.

Your breath is shaky, your chest rising and falling rapidly.

His hands are warm against your skin.

His grip is so gentle, so careful.

Like he’s afraid you’ll slip away again.

Like he’s holding onto something precious.

And you should.

You should pull away.

You should tell him it’s over.

That he needs to move on.

That you’re not worth his pain.

But when you look into his eyes—

God, his eyes.

You see everything you’ve ever wanted.

Everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

And it terrifies you.

"Cheol…"

Your voice wavers, barely holding on.

A fragile whisper.

His thumb brushes over your cheek.

A tender caress.

"Don’t do this."

His voice is a plea.

A desperate attempt to hold onto you.

"We don’t belong together," you whisper.

Even though it hurts like hell to say it.

Even though every fiber of your being screams in protest.

His jaw clenches.

His eyes darken with a mixture of anger and pain.

But he doesn’t move.

His gaze unwavering.

"Why do you keep saying that? Why are you so determined to push me away?"

You force yourself to stay strong, to ignore the way your heart is screaming for him, to suppress the longing that threatens to consume you.

"Because it’s the truth."

A lie that tastes like ashes in your mouth. LIE.

You try to step back, to create some distance between you, but he doesn’t let you. He doesn’t tighten his hold—he just refuses to let go, his grip gentle but unyielding.

"Bullshit." His voice is rough, desperate, filled with a raw emotion that mirrors your own. "You don’t get to decide that for me. You don’t get to tell me what I feel."

You exhale sharply, trying to regain your composure, your mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

"You don’t understand, Cheol—"

"Then make me understand!" His voice cracks, frustration mixing with heartbreak, a desperate plea for clarity. "I’ve been chasing after you, waiting for you, and you won’t even tell me why you’re running! Just tell me what I did wrong."

Your throat tightens, the words caught in a knot of pain and fear, the truth too heavy to bear.

"Because I don’t belong in your world!" you finally snap, your voice shaking with a mixture of anger and vulnerability. "Because people like me—people who have to fight just to exist—don’t get to have things like this! We’re not meant for happy endings."

Seungcheol stares at you, his expression unreadable, his chest heaving, his eyes filled with something you can’t bear to face—a reflection of your own pain.

Then—he lets go.

Your breath stutters, your heart skips a beat. He steps back, creating a space between you, a chasm that threatens to swallow you whole.

For a second, you think—this is it. He’s giving up. He’s finally realized that you’re not worth the effort.

But then—he kneels.

Right there, in the middle of the dimly lit sidewalk, in the cold night air, he kneels in front of you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters, a gesture of humility and devotion.

And when he looks up at you, his eyes filled with a love that transcends words, you’re ruined.

Your carefully constructed walls crumble around you.

"I would leave everything for you." His voice is quiet, but it hits like a sledgehammer to your chest, a declaration of his unwavering commitment.

"Because you are the only one who has ever seen the real me. The me that I keep hidden from everyone else."

Your lips part, but no sound comes out, your voice lost in a sea of emotion.

"Where my money didn’t matter. Where my status didn’t matter." His eyes never leave yours, his gaze intense and unwavering. "All that mattered was us. Just you and me."

His hands find yours again, gently, carefully, his touch a lifeline in the storm of your emotions.

"Tell me that wasn’t real." His voice is a whisper, a desperate plea for reassurance.

Silence.

"Tell me you didn’t feel it too." His eyes search yours, seeking confirmation, seeking a glimmer of hope.

Your throat closes up, the words caught in a knot of longing and fear.

Because you did.

Of course, you did.

You felt it with every fiber of your being.

And Seungcheol sees it.

Sees the way you tremble, the way your fingers clutch his, the way your eyes betray your carefully constructed facade.

He has you.

Now all you have to do—is stop fighting.

Your pulse is hammering, a frantic rhythm against your ribs.

This is too much. Too intense. Too real.

Seungcheol, kneeling in front of you, holding your hands like you’re his entire world, his eyes filled with a love that both terrifies and exhilarates you.

His words replay in your mind, over and over—I would leave everything for you.

You can’t breathe.

You rip your hands away, breaking the connection, creating a space between you.

"You’re a fool, Seungcheol." Your voice is barely a whisper, filled with a mixture of fear and desperation.

His brows knit together, his expression a mixture of confusion and hurt, but he doesn’t move, his gaze unwavering.

"You don’t know what you’re saying," you whisper, your voice shaking, your eyes pleading with him to understand.

"You have everything. A future, a reputation, a life people would kill for. Why would you throw that away for me? I have nothing to offer you."

He stares at you, his eyes filled with a pain that mirrors your own, his expression a mixture of sadness and disbelief.

Like you’re breaking his heart right in front of him.

"Because none of it matters without you." His voice is firm, unwavering, a declaration of his love.

No.

No, no, no.

Your vision blurs, tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill over.

You take a step back, trying to create some distance, trying to escape the intensity of his gaze.

Then another.

You have to go.

You have to leave before you crumble, before you succumb to the longing that threatens to consume you.

Your body screams run, but the moment you turn away—

He moves.

And then—his arms are around you. Warm. Solid. Unyielding. And just like that—

You shatter.

A choked sob escapes your lips, and suddenly, you can’t stop. The dam breaks, and years of pent-up emotion flood out. Your hands clutch his jacket, holding on for dear life.

You hate him for not letting you go.

You hate him for holding you together when all you wanted was to fall apart alone.

"Why—why are you doing this?" you gasp against his chest, your whole body trembling, your voice choked with tears.

His arms tighten around you, his lips pressing to your hair—a silent promise of comfort and support.

"Because I love you, idiot."

His voice is thick with emotion, a raw declaration of his feelings.

Your breath hitches. Your heart skips a beat.

"And I’m not letting you go."

His words are a vow, a commitment, a refusal to give up on you.

Tears pour down your face, a torrent of emotion. Your knees go weak, but Seungcheol just holds you closer, keeps you steady—a human anchor in the storm of your emotions.

For the first time in forever—

You let yourself break.

You allow yourself to be vulnerable, to let go of the walls you've built around your heart. And for the first time in forever—

You're not alone.

You have someone to share your pain, someone to hold you through the darkness.

You cry until you have nothing left, until the tears run dry and your sobs subside into soft whimpers. Your sobs start sharp, gut-wrenching, a release of years of bottled-up pain. Your body shakes in his arms, fingers clenching into his jacket like he’s the only thing keeping you upright.

And maybe he is.

Seungcheol doesn’t say anything. He just holds you. Arms tight, steady, unshaken—like he’s anchoring you to this world, a constant presence in your life.

And you let him.

For the first time in your life, you let yourself be held. You surrender to his embrace, finding solace in his strength.

Minutes pass. Maybe hours. Time doesn’t exist in this moment—only the two of you, wrapped in a shared space of vulnerability and connection.

Your breathing slows, chest still hitching with the remnants of your breakdown, the storm gradually subsiding. Your face is buried against him, and his heartbeat is the only sound you hear.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

A steady rhythm. Strong. Safe. A comforting reminder of his presence.

When you finally shift, pulling back slightly, he still doesn’t let go. His grip remains firm, a silent reassurance.

Instead, he exhales softly—warm breath against your hair—and then tilts his head down, his eyes filled with tenderness.

And then—a kiss.

Soft. Gentle. Right on your forehead. A gesture of comfort and affection.

Your breath stutters. Your heart flutters.

Then—your nose.

You blink up at him, eyes still red, still glassy, but now filled with a glimmer of hope.

He’s watching you like you’re something fragile. Something precious. Something to be cherished.

Then—your cheeks.

One.

Then the other.

Then—your closed eyelids.

Like he’s kissing away the tears that remain, erasing the traces of your pain.

You don’t move.

Can’t.

You're lost in the moment, captivated by his tenderness.

His fingers slide against yours, thumb brushing over your knuckles—before he leans down and presses a kiss there too, a gesture of reverence.

And then—finally.

Your lips.

A whisper of a touch at first. Like he’s asking for permission, seeking your consent.

Then—

You press back.

And everything shatters.

The kiss deepens. His hand cups your jaw, thumb stroking the skin, a gentle caress. You tilt your head, open up to him, let him pull you in, surrendering to the moment.

And then it’s not soft anymore.

It’s raw.

Hungry.

Desperate.

A release of pent-up longing.

Because this isn’t just a kiss—

This is a confession.

This is Seungcheol showing you everything he can’t say in words, a language of touch and emotion.

And this time—

You don’t push him away.

You embrace his love, allowing yourself to be loved.

When you finally pull apart, breathing hard, lips swollen, a tangible reminder of your connection, Seungcheol still doesn’t let you go.

Instead, he rests his forehead against yours, his grip on your waist still firm—like he’s scared you might slip away again. Like he never wants to lose you. A silent promise of his unwavering devotion.

And then—

He smiles.

Not the cocky, teasing smirk he flashes on the court, a mask he wears for the world.

Not the polite, practiced grin he gives to the rich kids at school, a facade he presents to his peers.

No.

This one is soft.

Real.

Just for you.

"I am yours," he murmurs, voice low, steady, filled with a certainty that resonates deep within you.

"Since the day I saw you working at the café with your hair up and that adorable white and blue dress."

You suck in a breath, your heart swelling with emotion. Your eyes flicker up to meet his—deep brown, burning, full of something you can’t quite believe is meant for you, a love that seems too good to be true.

"You—"

Your voice catches, your words failing you.

His thumb gently strokes your cheek, a tender caress. "You don’t have to believe me yet." His lips twitch, a hint of his playful side returning. "But I’ll prove it to you, baby. Every damn day if I have to."

And for the first time… you think maybe—just maybe—you’re ready to let him. To trust him. To believe in his love.

You don’t pull away. You stay in his arms, finding comfort and solace in his embrace.

And Seungcheol? He notices.

A slow grin tugs at his lips, a little smug, a little too self-satisfied, a hint of his playful arrogance.

"You know, baby," he murmurs, voice dropping just enough to make you shiver, a seductive whisper. "If I’d known all it took to get you in my arms was making you cry, I would’ve done it sooner."

You gasp and smack his chest, a playful rebuke. "Cheol!"

His chuckle vibrates against your skin, a warm and comforting sound. "Too soon?"

Your glare is weak at best, your lips twitching despite your efforts to remain stern. "You think?"

But Seungcheol just tilts his head, still smiling, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "At least I made you forget about crying, huh?"

You huff, but he catches it—the way your lips twitch, the way your eyes aren’t as clouded anymore, the glimmer of a smile that threatens to break through.

So he leans in, just a little, lips brushing your ear, his voice a low and intimate whisper.

"And for the record, you looked hot as hell in that dress, but you look even prettier like this."

Your breath stutters, your cheeks flush. "Like what?"

His arms tighten around you, pulling you closer, his embrace a comforting haven.

"In my arms."

His voice is filled with tenderness and love, a promise of safety and belonging.

Seungcheol barely has time to react before—

Flick.

His head jerks back slightly as your finger snaps against his forehead, a playful act of defiance.

"Ow—hey!" He pouts, rubbing the spot like you actually hurt him, his expression comical.

You just smirk, a genuine smile gracing your lips for the first time in what feels like forever.

"You are such a flirt."

His grin starts creeping back, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"You love it."

You tilt your head, pretending to think, your eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Mmm… maybe."

Then—

You lean in just a little, just enough to make his breath hitch, a playful challenge.

"But you’re my flirt."

Your voice is soft, intimate, a declaration of your feelings.

Seungcheol? Absolutely wrecked.

His ears go pink, a blush creeping up his neck. His smile falters for a split second, his usual composure momentarily shattered.

Then—

He groans, throwing his head back, overwhelmed by your words.

"Baby, you can’t just say stuff like that!"

You laugh—light, breathless. And it hits you.

You haven’t laughed like this in a long time.

And Seungcheol? He’s looking at you like he knows. Like he’s the reason why.

Like he’s gonna make sure you never stop being happy after all of the troubles you went through alone.

[littlelamy]

“do we have enough pastel sprinkles?” you asked, peering into the mason jar. a smear of flour streaked your cheek, and your shirt—one of rafe’s oversized button-ups you’d stolen and tied at the waist—was already dusted in powdered sugar and smudged with vanilla.

“babe,” rafe drawled, one hand braced on the counter beside you, the other finding your waist with practiced ease, “you bought four bags. unless you’re planning to baptize the whole island in sprinkles, i think we’re good.”

you scrunched your nose at him. “i just want it to look nice.”

“oh, totally,” he smirked, dragging a finger through the cookie dough just to lick it slow, lazy. “you think Jesus cares if the frosting’s piped crooked?”

you reached for his hand, smacking it lightly. “blasphemy,” you whispered in mock horror, though your smile betrayed you.

“hey,” he leaned in, pressing his flour-dusted forehead to yours. “he is risen, babe. that’s the point. nobody’s judging your bunnies.”

“except ward,” you laughed softly, melting a little at the familiar smell of sugar and warm dough rising in the oven and the fresh spring breeze pushing through the cracked window above the sink.

you heard the patio door creak as ward’s deep voice called something from the yard—he was laughing, probably at sarah tripping over her long sundress chasing wheezie with a jellybean basket. you leaned your head against rafe’s shoulder, just for a second.

“i like when your dad and family are happy,” you said.

rafe didn’t say anything for a moment, just reaches down and slipped both arms around your waist, pulling you in tight. “you make everything feel easy,” he said into your hair.

then—like a switch—he suddenly swiveled you around, pinning you gently between the counter and his chest, mischief glittering in those ocean blue eyes. “but seriously, if i frost one more bunny i’m gonna lose my mind.”

you laughed, breath puffing against his neck. “we only have three dozen more.”

“oh my god,” he buried his face into your neck and groaned. “kill me now.”

“you just said Jesus is risen...you're not allowed to ask for death on easter.”

“well…” he trailed kisses up your throat, “…i could rise too, but that’d be a different kind of sunday celebration.”

“rafe!" you say, slapping his arm gently, "don't be dirty."

he grinned devilishly, but it softened when he saw the fluster of your cheeks. “okay, okay. let’s finish your holy cookies.”

you dipped a finger in the pale yellow buttercream, smearing it on his mouth.

“that’s what you get for being dirty.” he kisses you anyway, frosting and all.

notes: happy easter! ✟

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