#nonbinary tozer

[spirkkock]

Life Update Tag Game: tagged by @sunlaire and also @lostinsnow (although they were slightly different so I just mashed them together lol) (i also think someone else also might have also tagged me but I lost it deep in the likes.....)

🎧 last song: Let it Happen - Tame Impala (I started listening to the DJDollEyes playlist but it wasn't the right time)

🖍️ favorite color: ohhhh probably green but I also really like orange.

📚 last book: I'm currently reading The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker, but the last book I finished was Authority (Book 2 of the Southern Reach Series) by Jeff VanderMeer

🎥 last movie: I think the last movie I watched was Come and See (1985) directed by Elem Kilmov - which is considered by some to be one of the only (actually) anti-war movies ever made. I highly recommend it but I will warn you, it is one of the most brutal movies I've ever seen. (warning - even the trailer is hard to watch)

📺 last tv show: The Boys (Season 4) - ehhhhhh it's okay. Gratuitous sex and violence. I do think it's funny that when this season came out everyone said "Oh, its too on the nose!" but now that Trump is back in office everything that happens in the show feels absolutely plausible lmfao.

🍜 sweet/spicy/savory: Spicy!

💕 relationship status: Recently ended a long term relationship and we are still living together! So I'm currently single and dating around... coming to the conclusion that I'm gayer than I thought I was... casually in love with one of my best friends (who is a straight man) so that's fun... also hunting this nonbinary twink who got really blushy after jokingly telling me I should "wear less clothes" at a performance they invited me to be in.... sot that might be promising....

🌐 last thing i googled: "hasan ethan klein" - I'm very interested in this drama that's happening (I'm on hasan's side tbh. I don't fuck with liberal zionists or their ex-IDF spouses)

💓 current obsession: Come on..... we all know it's The Terror, and more specifically.... joplittle and soljoplittle and if we're being very specific Solomon Tozer and his fluffy hair and snatched waist. but also I've been very into that cutie Tommy Armitage.

🔮 looking forward to: THE SUPER BOWL BABEY!!!!!!! GO BIRDS! 🦅 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅 FUCK THE COWBOYS CHIEFS!!!! I can’t wait to get that sweet sweet victory and go party in the streets!!!

No pressure tagging: @helpthebeatles @lust-lizard @ilmapatsas @loycspotting @marshmallow--galaxies- @dykeredhood @sailon-ishmael @holisticghost @palfriendpatine66 @lieutgore @fitzjamesbulletwound @that-gay-jedi @falling-through-a-trapdoor

I'm really bad at tagging people (i just went through my notes and tagged moots) so if you see this and wanna jump in please do!

[boilyerheid]

7. “Let me do this for you, okay?” for Tozer/Irving please <3

"C'mere," Sol takes the face paint out of his mate's hands, because they're shaking far too hard to draw a straight line right now. "Let me do it, or you'll end up looking like one of them inkblots with the dirty pictures. What are they called?"

"Rorschach tests." John knows all about them, he was subjected to enough during his first failed attempt at conversion therapy as a teenager, although he was never able to figure out what about his carefully generic interpretations of the images revealed he was a sinner.

"Yeah, them things." Sol takes the cap off the little brush thing (it's already set up for purpose, blocks of colour stuck in a handle so you can draw a rainbow stripe in a single swipe, as if it's just that simple), but John grabs his wrist before he can lift it to his friend's face. "John, it's alright."

"This is a bad idea," his voice has gone all high-pitched and nervy in that way he hates, the one that says he's moments from fleeing the situation like a coward - or worse, a very unmanly panic attack. "I shouldn't go."

"It'll be fine, mate. Whole team's gonna be there, aren't we?" The gentle understanding in Sol's eyes undoes John a bit, because he'd been so unkind to his teammate when the whole issue of his being a bit non-binary first came out. John had been deeply mired in over a decade of self-loathing at the time, and he's since apologised profusely for his behaviour and been forgiven, but he's still quite certain he doesn't deserve to be treated with such kindness. "You're not gonna be alone."

The prospect of attending Pride as a team had seemed like a good idea - the uni gets good rep and is more amenable to their requests for equipment funding next semester, and their shyer members (nobody said John, freshly out and fragile as he was, but his ears burned anyway) get strength in numbers - but actually doing it feels impossible.

John's not brave, is the thing. He's never been brave, he's always hidden himself behind propriety, scripture, hierarchy - anything that kept him from having to be who he is. He's not Sol, standing there inches away from him in the dingy bathroom, as tall and broad and blokey as ever but painted carefully with eyeliner, glitter, lipstick - a mash-up of parts that's so fully him it's almost too beautiful to look at. And he's proud of it, of himself, in a way John can never imagine being.

"I-I'm not brave enough," he admits, faltering, and Sol's face softens further. He twists his wrist where John's still got a hold of it and manages to awkwardly take his mate's hand, squeezing supportively. "I'm not-. I'm so scared I want to be sick. I'm not like you, Sol, I'm not brave."

"If I told you how terrified I was of anyone finding out about this-" Sol's voice is gentle, but distinctly steady as he gestures to his painted face "-you'd never believe me. When I first told you lot, I was shaking in me boots. You've gotta fake it 'til you make it, mate. Pretend you're someone who can cope, until you can."

"Pretend I'm someone who can cope," John repeats, faintly. That makes sense. It might not make it easy, today, but it may make it just that bit easier enough to push himself through. Maybe if Sol keeps holding his hand like this, he'll make it.

Sol holds up the paint again, questioningly, and John hesitates for a long moment before he nods. The swipe of colour is quick, and less painful than he'd expected. He doesn't have to be proud today, he just has to take the first step of trying.

The lads cheer when he makes it down the stairs with a rainbow on his cheek, and Sol squeezes his fingers with a lipstick-stained grin.

[hungry-hobbits-art]

batch of pride icon commissions for @corn-elius of some good good terror lads, goodsir, jopson (two variants), hickey, and tozer!!

[ DO NOT REPOST/EDIT ]

[nicolemaiines]

NEW GIF PACK ALERT: linked below you will find 154 gifs of olly alexander as ritchie tozer in it’s a sin that were made from scratch by me for anonymous. you’re welcome to edit, crop into gif icons or add to gif hunts as long as you give me credit by tagging me. please give this post a like or reblog if you use/save or find these gifs to be helpful in any way! if you enjoy my gifs, please consider tipping me on ko-fi! (info in gif pack link below)!

please note that olly is nonbinary and uses he/him pronouns and should be cast accordingly!

trigger warnings: strobe/club lights, blood

🏳️‍🌈 this pack is part of my birthday + pride month packs! 🏳️‍🌈

gif page link can be found here​​ or under olly’s name on this blog!

[sigmastolen]

nemesis series - april daniels

dreadnought

sovereign

(third book in progress)

i posted a couple excerpts from these but now i’ve finished both of the books published so far and they’re awesome.  nemesis is set in a contemporary or near-future alternate universe where superheroes (and supervillains) have been around since the mid-20th century and follows danny tozer, a teenage trans girl who gains the powers of renowned superhero dreadnought... when he is killed in front of her.  the mantle of dreadnought grants her the body she’s always wanted, but comes along with a supersized host of new problems.  parts of these books are really hard (the villains here are legitimately enraging; warnings for transphobia, transmisogyny, homophobia, misogyny, abuse, and graphic descriptions of violence and injuries), but they’re a very fresh, exciting, and gritty (realistic without going full grimdark) take on a world with superheroes.  danny is absolutely fantastic -- she’s funny, she’s angry, and she’s very real.  also, bonus: our other protagonists are characters of color, a nonbinary hero, wlw, and absolutely no straight white cis men, and they are all a delight to read.

dreadnought is about danny becoming herself: coming out as having-been-a-girl-all-along after her supernatural transition, coming out as a lesbian, learning about her new powers and who she is deep down, shedding her old life and choosing to take up dreadnought’s name and role as superhero protector of new port.  she has to overcome a lot as she’s starting out, feeling like there’s nobody she can rely on -- not her creeper former best friend, not the terf-infested local super team, and certainly not her abusive parents -- while she figures out what she can do and what she wants, and investigates the murder of the previous dreadnought.  fortunately, she finds a couple new allies, and ultimately saves the world and claims dreadnought’s name and legacy.  i’m not super clear on why supervillain utopia felt she needed to implement her evil plan, but most of that plot is just trying to uncover her evil plan and the fight scenes are cool so i’ll allow it. 

if dreadnought is about danny becoming herself, sovereign is about danny becoming part of larger communities: her city, a super team (a.k.a. a found family), the superpowered community, and the lgbt community.  she struggles with the aftermath of the first book’s events, with what kind of person and what kind of hero she wants to be, with her place in the world, and with her relationships with the people close to her.  sovereign accordingly gives more attention to the people around danny and her relationships with them, where dreadnought was primarily concerned with danny and her interiority.  allies from the first book, doc impossible, calamity, and charlie are more fully fleshed out, and new allies kinetiq and cecilia are introduced, and there is more detail about the role of superheroes and hypertech in the world.  the big bads (a super rich white dude and a terf) and their evil plans are more straightforward in this one, and the stakes are higher -- this book has a body count.  special warnings for torture and eye horror!

if i had to guess about the third book, i think it will probably feature danny adjusting to increased responsibilities, and having to face some consequences for her decision about the nemesis.  the thing about doc’s first name felt a little weird, too?  but i am excited to see where it goes.

[heyktula]

Er, is this thing on?

So it’s been a bit! Specifically, it’s been about a year, and I didn’t think I was going to be back, and I hadn’t actually planned to be back, and then I kind of tripped and fell into a new fandom (The Terror), but I’m also still in my old fandom (Star Wars) and it’s been a whole thing, but I’m having a very good time.

Anyways.

Hi, I’m ktula. I’m afab nonbinary, queer, polyam, mid-thirties.

I write for The Terror (fitzier, joplitle, Tozer/Irving, I could go on) and Star Wars (mostly kylux and adjacents) over on ao3.

I tweet constantly.

I take questions about anything over on curiouscat.

And I guess I’m back here now too.

[glorioustidalwavedefendor]

If I recall correctly someone said that the reason the remains where calssified as female was becasue the y-chromosom disintegrates faster then the x-chromosm, so absence is not proof ...

HOWEVER ... we know for a fact that Solomon Tozers Sister Catherie lived as a man (though weather she was a lesbian, trans, nonbinary, just wanted to get awy from her abusive husband, or decidet she liked beeing treated as a person beeing taken seriously and stuff and not beeing handled as property, is anyones guess at this point)

https://full-of-terrors.tumblr.com/post/189012461009/viletorpedo-viletorpedo-wifeofbath-been

Fact is they would have never found out if she hadn’t been severely injured ... so ... I personally wouldn’t give to much on the opinion of a science that has bend over backwards for centuries to make sure the status quo is profen by history

Going so far to make Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum friends

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khnumhotep_and_Niankhkhnum

(Their contemporaries: Depicting them in scenes that ususually depict husband and wife with one clearly taking on the role of wife

Scientists in 1964: They where cleraly super duper goodest bestest friends ... nothing gay to see here. ... )

And ignoring warrior women, by simply not looking at all the efidence

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/02/viking-woman-warrior-face-reconstruction-national-geographic-documentary

What is the general opinion of the dental and bone analysis that caused media fervor by suggesting some of the crew of the Franklin Expedition might have been female?

I forgot about that! I haven’t read much about it recently but I don’t think it’s totally impossible. I hope we will be able to learn more about these remains in the future.

[howlsmovinglibrary]

Sovereign by April Daniels

*I received this ARC from Netgalley in return for an honest review*

Only nine months after her debut as the fourth superhero to fight under the name Dreadnought, Danny Tozer is already a scarred veteran. Between her newfound celebrity and her demanding cape duties, Dreadnought is stretched thin, and it's only going to get worse.  When she crosses a newly discovered supervillain, Dreadnought comes under attack from all quarters. From her troubled family life to her disintegrating friendship with Calamity, there's no trick too dirty and no lever too cruel for this villain to use against her.

I reviewed Dreadnought earlier this year and loved it, and Sovereign is the sequel. If anything, I liked it even more. In my review of Dreadnought, I discussed how I felt the book had been pigeonholed, required to also include ‘issue’ content because of its trans woman protagonist. Now that Danny’s identity and the issues surrounding that have been strongly established, Sovereign is given more room to play, and become a fully acknowledged science fiction novel in its own right.

As I said before, I read this book as a cis woman, and would be interested on hearing trans/nonbinary reviewers’ opinions of this book. 

Also note: this book includes the same trigger warnings as Dreadnought - trans misogynistic language and abuse.

Things I liked:

The diverse cast. Alongside Danny, we have Calamity, a questioning woc, Codex or Charlie, poc – both introduced in Dreadnought –but also Kinetiq, a nonbinary Iranian-American superhero who goes by they/them pronouns. They are all well fleshed out, multifaceted characters, and make up what is essentially the Justice League of this book – possibly the best Justice League ever.

Danny’s character and its development. Danny is such a complex and interesting protagonist. I liked that the violent implications of superhero work were interrogated. I like that her more dangerous behaviour and the negative impact it could have on her was called out without erasing her history as a victim. This book did some really intriguing things with her character.

Discussions of intersectionality. Along with the unpicking of TERFs (trans exclusionary radical feminists) that continues from the first book in relation to the antagonist Graywytch, the inclusion of foils like Calamity and Kinetiq (foil in the sense of comparison, rather than rivals) allows for Sovereign to tackle issues of intersectionality. Although trans, Danny does admit and discuss her privilege as a white woman whose narrative still subscribes to a gender binary – the sense that she is the (much more liberal) ‘Caitlyn Jenner’ of the superhero world.  Unlike Dreadnought, the inclusions of these discussions doesn’t feel heavy handed, and are instead weaved into the very fabric of the plot (and I want to make clear that ‘heavy handed’ is not really a criticism of April Daniels’ writing, more what I feel was a necessary product of Dreadnought having to establish so many issues of identity and still be a superhero narrative, while also being a debut novel)

The world building. I cannot say this enough, beyond the diverse rep, this book is an excellent work of science fiction. The superhero world that Daniels builds is a mixture of interesting lore, fandom culture, and mundane everyday realities, from the legal assault courses superheroes have to tackle to get the job done, to the scientific logistics of Danny’s ability to fly. Everything is so detailed, from the history of superheroism during the cold war to the physics of fighting with superpowers.

Things I didn’t like:

This is an entirely personal thing but I began to find the fight scenes fatiguing after a while. The action scenes are extremely detailed and well written, but they are long. I think this may be both an individual preference but also a risk of writing superhero narratives in novel rather than comic book form. I found myself becoming a little dazed and skimming a little once I was about 70% of the way into the book.

A strong second instalment of an amazingly diverse science fiction ya series, released on July 25th.

Overall rating: 4.5/5

[boilyerheid]

Can we get 23 “Hey, Look at me. Focus on me, alright?” in “general” for Tozer/Irving pls? <3

"Hey, look at me." Sol's hand is firm in his (his own is sweating, of course it's sweating, it must be so unpleasant to touch by now), and his low voice cuts through the noise and breaks John out of the anxious spiral he's started to descend into. His friend's makeup is already smeared in the heat, but Sol looks nothing less than radiant as the sun catches the glitter around his eyes. "Focus on me, alright?

Why did they come to London? Why couldn't they have found a smaller Pride? Why did he let the team talk him into this? There are so many people here - being open and unashamed and happy - that John feels like he might burn up from it. He so desperately wants to be like that, and he can't.

It's all very well for the lads - the straight ones are having a blast, secure enough in themselves to take their football shirts off and accept wolf whistles from blokes they'll never want to sleep with, while the other queers are... well, Ned's boyfriend showed up in a leather harness and that set the tone, really. So everyone's having a nice time, getting drunk in the sun and collecting rainbow-coloured trinkets from corporate sponsors, and then there's John spinning himself into a tizzy because he's at a gay event.

Then there's John, isn't that just the story of his life?

"John, hey," Sol brings his focus back again, must be able to feel the trembling of his friend's fingers despite his nervous, slippery grip. "You're alright, mate. We can duck off and find a pub or something if you need a break."

"No, I'm-. I want this, I want to do this," he insists, stepping close into Sol's side to let a group of drag queens with giant painted fans past. Sol takes the opportunity to let his hand go and sling his arm around John's shoulder, and that... does make things a bit easier, truth be told. "I just don't know how to... be okay with all this. With me being part of all this."

Sol considers this for a moment, thumb absently stoking over the bare skin under John's sleeve as they walk (his nails are a rainbow today, Hickey's ex Billie came over and helped him with the little heart decals), and then tilts his chin at something behind John's shoulder. It's such a Sol gesture, masculine and confident yet so deeply caring, and it makes for one of those moments where John thinks - if he can reconcile all the parts of himself, maybe it's possible for anyone.

"That might help." John turns to see where Sol's indicating, and his mouth falls open a bit as something in his chest swells. The stall is fairly simply decorated but the sign is clear enough: Christians at Pride. "C'mon, they seem friendly. Let's see if your lot've got a pamphlet or something."

John can't find any words to reply, but Sol must read his expression well enough because he smacks a pink kiss to his mate's temple before leading him over. John's too busy to worry about what that might mean, trying to keep the swimming tears in his eyes as they approach the rainbow placard propped up on the front of the booth:

GOD LOVES YOU AND SO DO WE!

[boilyerheid]

15. “Just say yes.” for that hickeytozer AU with the makeup, please?

Sol reads the flyer slipped under his door as if it's a taunt. A cruel little I know something you don't want other people to know. He's relieved he got to it before his roommate noticed the gaudy slip of paper sitting on the dingy carpet (because Edward has a boyfriend, yeah, but he's quiet about it. Not hiding it but not shoving it in anyone's face - one of the lads, like. not a fucking pansy wearing makeup), and waits anxiously until he can corner Neil between class and training when they won't be missed.

"What the fuck is this?" He shoves the ratty little bastard into the nearest supply closet, thankful that the campus sports centre is furnished with an unending number of the damn things and this one doesn't hold anything they'll need for football. Neil watches him from where he's landed against a stack of cracked judo mats, looking a lot steadier than Sol feels as he brandishes the crumpled invitation with as much vitriol as he can muster.

"It's a flyer, Sol. I know the academic requirements in this shithole are minimal, but-" Sol's hand viciously twisted in the front of his shirt cuts Hickey off with a squeak. Sol's jaw is set hard enough to start giving him a headache (like a man, he's handling this exactly like the kind of man his dad is, and doesn't that say a lot), and Neil starts talking as he stares him down. "It's just a meetup. Thought you might be interested."

"And why the fuck would I be interested in that?" Trans, nonbinary, and marginalised genders, the flyer said in a cheery script, questioning folks welcome! It did something very weird to Sol's stomach when he read it, sent him into a spiral between anger and anxiety that he's not sure he's pulled himself out of yet. He's not a-. He's just-. He's not. "Bit of bleeding eyeliner doesn't mean I'm... You said you weren't fucking making fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you," Neil's face twists quizzically and he does that thing again, moves like he's certain Sol's not going to smack him for it, and reaches up to set his slight hand under the hinge of Sol's stubbly jaw. Sol doesn't know how he feels about not being feared when he's trying to put the fear into someone, especially doesn't know how the fuck he feels when Neil softens his voice to speak again. "Hey, angel, I'm not. I just think-"

Sol shoves him back into the mats and steps away in a flash of panic, because when he talks like that Hickey somehow makes him feel so... small. And he likes it, and it's the last thing he should like, because he's a big, tough lad and that's a good thing, it's what he's born to be, so that's how he is.

"Stop doing that! Stop talking to me like I'm-" he spits, chest suddenly heaving for a lack of air in the close little room. He wants to punch something, he wants to run a hundred miles away from here, he wants Neil to touch him like he's delicate again so badly he could puke. And he does want to puke now, gripped with a crushing doom because he knows he can't put this genie back in the bottle, now he's realised he wants to be treated like a lass he can't...

"Shit, okay, sit yourself down before you fall." Sol is vaguely aware of Neil talking, but it seems very far away from the terrifying spiral inside his head.

He's stuck inside himself for a long while then, feeling like he's dying and overcome with a deluge of images crashing over each other - his sister's lip gloss, the eyeshadow palette hidden in the bottom of his sock drawer, his lipstick on the corner of Neil's mouth in their dingy bathroom. His dad's disappointed face, his mum's disgust, the rest of the team laughing at him for being such a...

"I think you should go," Neil says quietly, when Sol's out the other side and breathing almost steadily with his head on the lad's whippet-thin shoulder. They've both missed training by now. Sol's not sure he could face being told to man up by the coach today, anyway. "It might help."

"Nothing to help with," Sol mumbles, very aware of the fact he feels like a wrung-out sponge and that Neil's had his arm around him for the past god knows how long. The soft, rhythmic rub of his thumb on Sol's shoulder is far more comforting than it should be, especially when he's got nothing to be falling apart over.

"Just say yes, eh? I'll go with, if you want." Neil drops a kiss to his hair, far too bloody familiar for whatever the hell they have going on here, but it makes Sol feel smaller, cared for, and he's run out of space to deny that he likes that after this evening's display. "Me ex runs it, Sol. I'm really not making fun."

Sol makes a noncommittal sound in way of answer, and Neil scoffs quietly like he's caught between annoyance and affection. It makes Sol feel a bit better sitting in the stuffy supply room, like they're getting back onto the familiar ground of giving each other shit, but then Neil mutters something playful about bloody women never make up their mind, and suddenly Sol's sobbing into his mate's shoulder without being able to find a single word as to why.

Shit. Maybe he'd better go and see what this group are all about. Just to shut Neil up, he tells himself, even as the lad strokes his hair and tells him that things going to be okay where Sol's soaking his shirt. Be a bit hard to humiliate himself more at this rate, anyway, what would a little investigation hurt?

[boilyerheid]

10. Fluff, “stop moving and let me braid your hair” for Tozer/hickey please!!! <3

"Stop moving." Neil jerks his head a little harder than necessary to get him to still, and Sol only barely resists the urge to turn and bite the cunt's ratty fingers. They're at Billie's place (Neil's on good terms with his ex at the moment), so he's not worried about the lads walking in on them, but he's still not used to having someone... pretty him up like this. "I can't braid it if you don't stay still."

Sol's not convinced he's got enough to braid. He's been growing his hair since... Well, since the whole glittery make-up thing first happened, he hasn't had a haircut. The barber's always felt a bit intimidating, one of those places where he's supposed to know instinctively how to handle himself because he's a Big Lad, a man's man, a bloke you can tell just by looking at him is...

But Neil said he'd look pretty with his hair braided, after Sol had let it grow out enough that it had started to go curly, and Sol... Sol's not immune to that sort of thing. Neil knows he isn't, and Sol's only half sure the lad's being honest when he says he'll suit an up-do. Christ, the fact he can think up-do in relation to himself now shows just how far he's come since he first tried to not be terrified of all this. To not be terrified of the fact he's not a man's man like he's always tried so hard to be.

"Cuppas," Billie announces as she comes through from the kitchen, setting the mugs down before cocking her head like a bird to get a look at Neil's handiwork. "You sure they've got enough for a French plait?"

A couple of queer group meetings after the first one he anxiously sweated through, Billie had approached Sol and gently asked what pronouns he'd like to use. He'd blurted out that he'd like to try they but wasn't sure if it fit and wasn't sure if he wanted people to just use it, so Billie had suggested she could use it, just with him (and Neil, because they're a package now?) so Sol could figure out if he likes it or not. Sol's not ready to move past the he in his head yet, but every time Billie casually uses they it gives him this bubble in his chest that's impossible to put into words. Terrifying and elating in equal measure.

"He's got plenty." Neil, on the other hand, doesn't go in for such considerations. Billie shoots him a Look before patting Sol on the shoulder and going back to the sofa and Gogglebox, letting them get on with whatever they're doing. Sol can't imagine what the pair of them being together was like, when Billie went from he to she and Neil was probably as weird about that as he is about everything. "Hand me that hairband."

Sol passes it to him, where he's sitting at the foot of the armchair in front of the coffee table that holds Billie's donated supplies. His eye is drawn to the hair grips - the ones decorated with sparkly little animals or geometric shapes in neon colours - but he's not ready to ask for anything so decadent yet. Simple is enough right now. He winces as Neil secures whatever he's made of the attempt at a braid, and Neil picks up his phone.

"Alright, lemme show you. Turn around a bit." Sol turns just enough for Neil to get the side of his head on camera, and his friend scoffs. "Can't show you how it looks like that, Solly. Twist round more, it suits you from the front. You look so pretty, you don't even know."

"Neil..." Billie speaks up at hearing the sugary tone in Neil's voice, but it's too late when Sol's been seduced by being told he's pretty, weak as he feels for it.

"I'll send it to you in a sec, angel. Just smile for me now..."

Sol accidentally looks into the camera just as Neil snaps the picture of him and his braid, and then falls flat on his arse when Billie dives across the sofa to grab the phone before-

"Why would you do that?!" She slaps Neil across the face, and Sol doesn't understand until he sees the phone that's fallen next to him on the carpet - the screen that says the email and attachment (of Sol with a braid, wearing makeup, looking happy about it) has been sent to John Irving - Captain.

Oh no. Oh no.

"Why would he want to be on a team with homophobic wanks anyway? I'm doing him a-"

"You leave them alone," Billie shoves herself off Neil and comes over to Sol where he's not- he's not breathing right. His team are about to find out he's-. Her hands are antsy but gentle, trying to give reassurance where she's not prepared for it. "It's going to be okay, Sol. We can sort this, we'll..."

It's not going to be okay, Sol realises numbly as Irving opens an email that'll end him on the football team for good, of course it isn't.

[boilyerheid]

harry/silna and 57? matching shirts is something i think they would do

"I got us matching shirts!"

Harry is just so excited as they rush over, they and Ed having gone on an excursion to find the toilets and also peruse the gift shop on the way back. The rest of them have occupied a couple of benches in the meantime: Tom is flipping through the map looking for a way to take in the most attractions in one afternoon, John and Sol are arguing about how roller coasters work (neither of them know), Dundy is taking down an absolutely ridiculous mound of candyfloss, and Silna is texting and ignoring the lot of them.

At least until Harry comes back waving brightly-patterned t-shirts at her, at which point she shoves her phone back in her pocket and takes one with a soft smile.

"Didn't know Legoland did shirts?" Sol mutters with only a little bit of scorn, and John elbows him in the ribs to get him to shut up. Silna is already pulling the printed fabric on over her vest top, and her spouse looks delighted. "They look great, Haz."

"Hey," Ed nudges Tom with his foot and shyly holds out a little cardboard box. He hasn't rubbed in the suncream on his cheeks properly, leaving him pasty and charming in the heat, and Tom squints at him against the sun before he turns the box over to see the plastic window. "It's you."

"How is it me?" Tom does all but melt when he sees the little Lego man though, painted waistcoat and tie and black hair showing Ed chose the parts with care.

"He's got blue eyes."

"They're black," he smiles slyly, knowing they're messing with each other.

"You're not looking closely enough. They're definitely blue."

Sol rolls his eyes with exaggerated disgust at the romance, while John looks on with big eyes like he's definitely expecting a gesture now. Meanwhile Silna and Harry are signing happily about their new wardrobe, and Dundy is now snacking on Tom's reserve of emergency digestives while looking quite bemused at them all.

It's quite the day out, all told.

[boilyerheid]

Buttons and/or pearls for Sol Tozer's continuing gender adventures?

"Oh," Sol's roommate is always awkward, but extra awkward when he walks in on them trying to get a frock on. "Sorry!"

"Nah it's- Ned! 'Ey, come back!" He's disappeared so fast that Sol has to shout to get him to come back into the doorway, blushing and averting his eyes like Sol's a lass in a state of undress. And doesn't that just fill them with warmth, the fact they've shared a room with Ned for a year but now he knows they're them he's suddenly got shy. It's validating in its own way, because he does treat Sol like a lass now but only sometimes (in contrast to the way some of the others have well-meaningly but wrongly started behaving like he's a delicate maiden in the team's midst), and that's exactly what they want. "Can you help me with these buttons? Dunno who designed this shit but you can't get into it solo."

"Oh, er. Yeah, sure." Ned comes over a bit easier than Sol had expected him to, and grabs the back of his dress with more surety than they'd expected from the shy midfielder. Ned must catch the question in their expression, because he twitches a smile in the mirror. "Got four sisters, very used to dress shenanigans. Breathe in."

Sol does, and Ned manages to get the buttons done up with a minimum of swearing on both their parts. It's a costume for a mate's drag show - Sol's not ready to just wear dresses, if they'll ever be - but it feels right as Ned finishes off the bodice and then gives his friend a once over (swiping away stray threads, fluff, and general detritus as he goes) before deeming them fit for public consumption.

"You look great, mate." He pats Sol on the shoulder, just like he would after a match, and Sol has to swallow a stupidly ecstatic grin at the mundanity of it all. They're wearing a dress, their teammate helped them into it, they'll both be on the pitch swearing and trying to kill each other tomorrow. Is this euphoria? Is this what right feels like? How the fuck should they know? Does it matter?

"So if I get stuck and have to wake you up at arse o'clock to get free..." Sol unsuccessfully hides a grin when Ned drops his face to their shoulder with a groan. "I'll sleep in it. Love you, mate."

[boilyerheid]

Prettiest Girl at the Party (aka Sol Tozer has a case of the genders)

Billie Gibson is tall and willowy, all angles aside from the poofy blonde curls tossed over her shoulder in a haphazard ponytail, and weirdly intimidating. Hickey hunts her out as soon as they get to what seems to be the student union's dingiest function room, dragging an unsure Sol inside without giving him a chance to hesitate. They find her next to a folding table bedecked with a sorry assortment of Asda's finest own-brand snacks, sorting out a sign-up sheet of some sort.

She glares at Neil as he approaches, but softens when she notices his hand held tightly in Sol's white-knuckled grip. He's done this before, then. Sol hasn't been his only charity case, chivvied into questioning something about himself by Hickey's ability to find a crack and worry at it relentlessly until it splits all the way open.

Sol's not all the way open yet, doesn't know if he wants to be. Doesn't know if there's anything to open, just knows there's a crack.

[Ch4: in which Neil drags Sol to a queer meetup and it goes about as well as expected]

[boilyerheid]

mind unnatural with this nonbinary Tozer AU I’ve accidentally done