#normal is code for autistic here

[starfish-spencer]

Jules and Lassie's friendship has me feeling soft y'all. Shawn and Gus have their own traditions and inside jokes and I bet that Jules and Lassie start to develop the same things. They go out to eat together and have movie nights at each other's places every week. Jules lets Lassie infodump about US history and guns as long as he wants and Lassie (begrudgingly) lets Jules paint his nails. They chat about all the latest gossip in the SBPD and gush over their crushes together. They tell each other (almost) all their secrets. Lassie stays with Jules 24/7 after the clock tower and comforts her when she and Shawn temporarily break up. Jules is one of the only people to see Lassie truly break down and cry and she holds him for as long as he needs and tells him that they're going to be okay. They have their own jokes that nobody else gets that they whisper to each other and giggle at. They laugh until neither of them can breathe. They hug each other every morning when they arrive at the station and when they leave, and casually hold hands. They started out as just coworkers but by the last few seasons they are basically platonic soulmates, parallel to Shawn and Gus. And I love that. I love them.

[soullessjack]

speaking of that one post i reblogged , being autistic in fandom spaces is like seeing a guy who’s Literally You and resonates so deeply it kind of hurts actually so you naturally go online to talk about the guy who’s Literally You only to find that everyone else thinks he’s actually a completely incapable borderline-lobotomized baby-guy who can’t have normal relationships or even be an active part of them so they’ve stuck him with this universal disclaimer of how everyone else should see him and go about their day and you’re just trying not to kill yourself about it

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

[bloodibambiidoll]

love love love the rafe cameron x weirdgirl!reader au!! imagine reader at the country club overhearing some mean boys making fun of her and how rafe is crazy to date someone like her :(( she stays in her room after hearing this and rafe catches her biting herself and crying (she normally bites him but after hearing this she feels like she can’t) oh my heart-

No bc this is like sooo perfect. This is literally so her. I’ve been having a lot of fun coming up with lore for her so I’m so glad you’re liking her so far!! Warnings: (I’d like to note that weird girl is autistic coded bc I am autistic), Reader gets her feelings hurt, protective Rafe, biting 18+MNDI!! Part of this AU

“Yeah dude, she’s like so hot until she opens her mouth.” Your footsteps come to a sudden halt, your shiny black Mary Jane’s squeaking against the polished wooden floors of the country club. There’s a group of guys about your age standing around the corner in a circle all snickering to each other.

“No, yeah, like she says the fucking weirdest shit in that creepy little monotone voice. I have no idea how Rafe puts up with it.”

“The pussy must be out of this world or some shit because I would never be able to handle that. I saw her last week on the beach collecting animal bones or some shit bro. Bet she went back to check on her kill.” The entire group starts busting up laughing just as you feel hot tears start to stream down your cheeks. You just want to leave but they are blocking the only path to the door so you suck it up and high tail it as fast as you past them.

You were waiting for Rafe to be done with his game of golf but after that? You really didn’t want to bother him with wanting to leave early so you decided to just walk the mile and a half home. If you were lucky maybe you’d run into the neighborhood cat you befriended and he would walk part of the way with you.

When you get home you rush up the stairs and into your room, slamming the door behind you. Your head is swimming with negative thoughts. You were always scared you were too weird for Rafe, too much, too different from him. So when you hear guys he hangs around saying things like that about you? It’s hard to not let it get to your head.

You kick off your shoes and practically tear off the cute outfit you spent over an hour putting together. You grab your pink fuzzy robe, and walk over to your bunny’s cage, smiling down at her with watery eyes.

“I think you’re the only one that really understands me, Lydia.” Your bottom lip wobbles as you pick her up and walk over to your bed. You rock back and forth slightly as you caress her fur, trying to self soothe. You’re realizing in this moment that maybe you really are too much for Rafe because you hardly remember how to calm yourself down without him.

You wish so badly that he was here. You know he would hold you tight and let you sink your teeth into him until your tears stopped flowing. It seems to be one of the only things that truly calms you down so you decide to bring your own hand up to your mouth and bite down on it. It soothes you a little, but it isn’t Rafe. He’s called you a few times but you just let it ring, he’s probably worried, but you’re too embarrassed to pick up.

“Baby? Are you here?” The minute you hear Rafe’s voice you want to run to him, but the words of the boys at the country club playing in your head on repeat in your head cements you in place. “Bats?”

When he opens your bedroom door and takes in the sight of you his heart sinks.

“Baby girl, what’s going on? What happened? Where did you go? You scared the shit outta me.” He rushes over to you, coming to sit next to you on your bed. He rests his large hands on your calves and rubs soothing circles on your skin with the pads of his thumbs. You whimper and shake your head, your mouth still latched onto your hand. “Batty, you’ve gotta talk to me, okay? Tell me what’s going on.”

“I was…” You pull your hand away from your face, resting it on Lydia’s back as you pet her softly, the feeling of her fur grounding you. “I was coming back from the bathroom and I heard Jake and those guys… talking about me.”

“What about you?” Rafe’s voice takes on a protective tone, especially when another fit of sobs erupts through you. He hooks his arms under you so he can pull you and your bunny softly into his lap. “Princess. Tell me what they said.”

“They said - they said that they don’t know how you put up with me because I’m so weird and that you’re probably only with me because the pussy is good.” You sniffle as your tears continue to fall and if Rafe didn’t know you needed him right now he would be on his way back to the club to beat all of their asses until they couldn’t walk.

“Hey, hey, nah, none of that.” He cups your face in his hand, wiping away your tears. “You know I love you, all your weird shit and all. I’m not ‘putting up’ with you, I fuckin’ love your weird little ass.”

“They also… they also said that - that I probably kill animals…” You start sobbing again and Rafe’s entire body tenses. He knows how much you love animals, how important they are to you. He wants to fucking rip their throats out.

“Princess��� I’m so sorry they said that. They just don’t know you, aight? You’d never harm a fly. Don’t let that shit get to you. I know it’s hard, but fuck em, they don’t know fuckin’ shit about my baby.” He gives you a reassuring smile as he wipes away some of your remaining tears. His hand swipes past your lips and you turn your head slightly to sink your teeth into it. He chuckles, leaning in to kiss your forehead. “There’s my weird girl.”

[tobyisave]

Reason #48234872 Kiibo should've lived: so Maki can have someone to recreate a normal human adolescence with while Himiko and Shuichi go into a state of depressed hibernation for the next half decade...

Honestly I never even thought of this pairing until I started drawing this months ago, but I think they would have an interesting dynamic postcanon. It's hard for them to relate to each other at first — Maki has seen way too much and Kiibo has seen like 0 things in his life ever — but they've both been dehumanized, made to believe they're dangerous,* and barred from participating in "the real world" for most of their lives. And because of that they just want something that is, to use Maki's words, "as vanilla as possible."

Also, they're both autistic straight men and I want to see the hijinks that ensue when you put two of those in the same room.

*Obviously we see Maki being viewed as dangerous by herself and others; I can't even tell anymore if it's obvious that Kiibo shares that experience to some degree or if I'm just too deep in my own Kiibo lore... But here's 2 thoughts on why I think that's something they canonically share:

They both hurt someone close to them in their backstories, and that weighs on them enough that both of their Harmonious Heart events are about wondering if that person would hold it against them. Also for reasons I won't elaborate on here, I'm pretty sure Kiibo at least subconsciously views himself as a danger to others due to the environment he grew up in after Iidabashi was injured. I mean imagine having an emergency stop button permanently installed on your body "just in case."

Despite everyone's backstories being fictional, Kiibo and Maki have still killed one real person each --- Kiibo killed Tsumugi (and endangered everyone else), and Maki effectively killed Kokichi/Kaito ('effectively' just as in it could create the kind of "I killed a guy" guilt that is relevant to this discussion. I'm not going to even comment on the actual causality of that entire situation). Even if you don't count that, Kiibo being the only person with a body count is an interesting reversal given he's a pacifist and seems to have the most rigid moral code of the cast (something I also think was a precaution of sorts).

(+ Credit: Background of page 6 is traced from this random photo of an ice rink lobby. I made up the background of page 7 and that's why you can't tell what the hell anything actually is.)

[mongoosemagazine]

Anti-socialMedicReader! x Smug Ghost

Warning: Reader is autistic coded, mentions of preferences (ghost) slow burn if this is multiple parts, mentions of violence & blood

Medicreader! Who hates people trying to cope with Ghost who thinks it’s funny. He got pretty beat up during a mission, they were on a long deployment in a temporary base. She didn’t have any of her normal safe people with her, staying in her office all day and retreating into her sleep roll that night without so much of a word to anyone else. The guys couldn't help but react like they were seeing an endangered species whenever they caught a glance of her. 

Ghost dragged himself into the medbay, sluggish and worn, only to see who he oh so lovingly referred to as mouse perched behind her desk. Her meek little expression as she stood and pointed at the cot. He followed her command but his eyes tracked her as she moved across the room. “So am I ever going to hear your voice? Or are you mute or something?”

“Not mute” she collected her supplies on her dish and rolled the plate up next to his cot along with her ergonomic chair. “What happened?” She spoke quietly but unafraid.

“Bastard got a little too close and personal while I was busy with his mate-” he could see the slight upturn in her lips, cheeky bird. “But he's much worse off than I am, don't worry about your pretty head.”

“I wasn't worried” she tugged up his shirt to treat his wounds as he sat there taken aback by her bluntness. “That was mean…sorry” she sat awkwardly shifting slightly before admitting “ ...i'm not really sorry.”

This time he could feel the upturn in his own lips at her words. He puffed up his chest as she cleaned his wounds on his abdomen with warm soapy water, trying to seem like a tough man. “Did they get you anywhere else?” 

He tried to sit up a little only for her to grip his pant loop to keep him in place while she worked, a glare working as a warning. He cleared his throat awkwardly. A feeling that had been foreign to him for a good while, he was used to being the intimidating presence that evoked it in others. “No love, they couldn't if they tried”

“While obviously they could.” damn there was nothing he could say to flatter her at all, nothing to make her blush or swoon. Normally he wasn’t interested in making women react like that at all. Maybe because that came with his shape and build and as they always say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. “And I'm not your love. Lieutenant” 

Something in the way she said it made his heart feel weird, was he into being shut down like this? No no no…he was in control, he was respected…but something about this medic not giving a damn about him or his reputation just…did something for him. “So, how come you lock yerself in here all the time?”

“Cause you all bore me.” she replied frankly now locked in on the stitches she was weaving into the thin skin over his hip bone. “You’re all sweaty…gross and…loud..” she grimaced, “i don’t like people who don’t smell good.”

“I’ve a feeling you don’t like many people, mouse.” he sighed and gripped the metal bar holding the fabric of the cot. “You should try socialising more.”

“Says he” she scoffed as she started bandaging him up.

He smirked slightly as her snarky comment, “And how would you know anything about that, sweetheart” he propped himself up onto his forearms. 

“Just because I don't talk to people doesn't mean I'm not observant.” she taped down the gauze. “There. Come back tomorrow so I can clean and redress it. Don’t be a dumbass.”

“You didn’t correct me.” 

Her head turned up to look at him “what?” she furrowed her brows as she removed her blue latex gloves and cleaned her station, simon dressing himself in his bloodied shirt.

“I said you didn’t correct me…sweetheart” he held the door frame as he left the room, letting her stew in her own discomfort. 

She awkwardly stood and flexed her hand that had gripped his belt loop, it had been a while without genuine human contact.

part 2

[aquamarignis]

DAE think that Kalymos is a little too "sagacious"? + some theories about Albrecht's behavior

I'm as much a cat person as Albrecht the rest of us, and I know for a fact that a cat can be smarter than me. I lived it.

But isn't she a little too smart for a cat, even for a Kavat? A little too evolved?

What we know by now:

She almost never leaves Albrecht's side. She was even in the room with him when he took his bad trip to the Void. She even tried warning him that something was wrong, he just got it too late (ha!)

We know of exactly one instance where she is without him: it's her leading us to poor Arthur's Kinepage. She's all alone and seems to know perfectly well where she's going. And Albrecht may either be completely unaware of this incident, or know exactly what is happening.

She wakes Arthur up in the metro (Whispers in the Walls) on her own. But then seems unable to do anything else besides just sitting and watching, by which point "Albrecht" has arrived already.

We can also remember Loid telling us that Kalymos must have been long dead by now and that Albrecht has likely cloned her unbeknownst to the family. We don't know when exactly it has happened, though.

The name of the Kalymos Sequence.

By the time Albrecht takes the one-way trip to 1999, he is well aware of the fact that his consciousness is slowly but surely getting eaten away by Wally (just like his labs are).

We even have a way to measure it: his voice records.

The Requiem diaries in Necralisk. Clear, well-thought-out speech full of metaphors, with a cadence of someone used to giving speeches (you know, like an experienced speaker, lector, etc).

You can hear that some sentences are left hanging which is usually a trait of autistic-coded characters (i.e. Spencer Reed). But other than that he's well-spoken and knows his rhetorical devices.

Whispers in the Walls. Namely, the Pom records and the Grimoire page. He's already staggering here, in places where he shouldn't. The intonation changes it places where it shoudn't. Not normally. And you can hear some vowels starting to stretch where they weren't before. And his voice starts dropping where it didn't before.

"Arthur? Tenno? ... Hmm. Forgive me. I... need... Loid... to- understand why I had to leave. Without... him."

It's already noticeably hard for him to speak. Like he's fighting something at every step. It sounds like either he was piecing it together from several attempts, or like it was read by different individuals.

Albrecht's Notes in the Sanctum are a bit lighter case of the above. The speech is still rich, but the fight has already started.

And then the City Wide Metro Voicemail. By this point, nothing remains of the Albrecht who was dictating the Requiem notes. The voice is coarse, rough, slow. Every word comes with a push, almost like a mockery of what was before. He's hammering it in, without regard to intonation, punctuation and sometimes meaning. The wording becomes quite peculiar, too.

What do you think about my failsafe against this old, dead end experiment? I do not have time to care who you are or why you stumbled into this unsavory business? Your reality? Your species? This is already so different from what we've heard before that I would never say this is the same person. More like stranded, estranged twins.

And then, obviously, the infamous You Are Late which sounds exactly the same as the above.

...However, the law of conservation tells us that nothing can disappear without a trace. So if Albrecht's body is occupied by Wally, – where is Albrecht?

What if he did have a failsafe?

Just, as he himself said, "let it parody them [animals]"? He would never put Kalymos in harm's way, that's true. He mentions it in the same note.

But she was supposed to be dead at least at one point. What if back then he made a last-ditch effort to protect both their consciousnesses and souls by forming this union, not unlike Transference which he was so fascinated with?

What if it was him waking Arthur up, leading us to connecting with him, and eventually assisting us in joining forces to trap Wally and bring him down?

What if the point of the Kalymos Sequence is that the missing piece of Albrecht is now Kalymos?

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Study Buddies

isaac lahey x reader

summary: isaac asks you for help in chemistry. you agree on one condition.

tags: high school, studying / tutoring, mutual crushes, awkward flirting, caught in a lie, shyness, embarrassment, play fighting / tickling, bad puns, confessions, first kiss, teasing, fluff, pre-wolf isaac; his dad still sucks; autistic-coded reader

word count: 4.5k

a/n: this is my first time writing for teen wolf. I feel like I'm encroaching on claimed territory. 😅 also i've had this tab up for almost a week but have been afraid to post it, so here goes

Mr. Harris slides your progress report down onto your desk before you have a chance to react, and it catches wind and falls to the ground a moment later. You sigh and roll your eyes, but he’s already halfway across the room, impatiently handing out the rest of his stack. Your own little slip of paper is nowhere by your feet, and you resist the urge to make a remark about it. 

“Hey.” A voice interrupts your intruding thoughts at the same time a tap lands on your shoulder. Gentle, as if the tapper hates to disturb you, yet needs your attention. 

You turn, and temporarily forget about your lost report as your eyes meet Isaac’s, the boy who sits behind you, and has the cutest smile imaginable. You drop your gaze instantly, only for it to fall on his dimpled smile, and then, finally, on the paper held between two fingers. 

“I think this is yours,” he says, holding it out to you. 

Your name is clearly printed on the front, followed by your most recent grades in the class. You blush, immediately remembering it had dropped in the first place. 

“Oh. Thank you.”

“No problem. He seems like he’s in a mood today.” 

You nod, then take your paper from his hand. By this time, Harris has made his way back to the front, and is clearing his throat in a demand for the class’ silence. Quiet mutterings amongst friends cease at once, and you turn back to face the ill-tempered chemistry teacher. 

“Take a good look at your progress reports. The midterm is coming up, and some of you have more studying to do than others. Today, we will be learning new material, but next class period, we will have a review day. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask. You can ask at the appropriate time in class, or come see me after school, or shoot me an email. Regardless of your grade, everyone should be studying, however, some of you have to move up a whole letter or two. That is on you to be aware of, and for you to put in the effort to do. Now, pull out your notes so that we can cover this section. It isn’t the hardest thing we’ll cover, but I expect it will be a struggle for some.”

And after that condescending introduction, he begins to teach. 

When the bell finally rings, your head is swarming with so much chemistry, your eyes are beginning to glaze over and put you to sleep. You’re relatively good at the subject, but that topic was more challenging than he warned it would be, making even you confused at times. You shake your head when you reach your lockers, trying to relieve yourself of the numbers swirling about in your mind. It takes a moment. A very stressful moment. 

A tap on your shoulder, more urgent than the last, pulls you out of your mental headspace. The chemistry bounces out of your mind entirely, bringing you back to reality, but making you jump in place at the sudden contact.

“Sorry,” a familiar voice apologies, “didn’t mean to scare you.”

Turning, you come face-to-face with Isaac again. His normally bright blue eyes are slightly cloudy, which worries you more than you’d like to admit. “No worries. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I have a question, actually, to ask you.”

“What’s that?”

“Okay, I wasn’t looking at your report, I didn’t mean to see your grades. I accidentally saw them when I picked up your paper, but I promise I wasn’t looking on purpose.” He stalls, continuously apologizing for something not at any fault of his own. 

“It’s okay,” you interrupt as politely as you can. 

He pauses, “um. I was wondering if you could help me? Like, in chemistry. Help me study, kinda like a tutor, I guess?”

You pale immediately. Just because you’re doing okay in the class doesn’t mean you have a clue how to help him understand. “Um-”

“Just… I just need a little help, if you can. I understand if you don’t want to, or can’t, or… I don’t know… are busy.” He runs his tongue along his lips nervously. You snap your eyes to the floor, avoiding eye contact. 

“I don’t know… I’m not a good teacher.”

“But you’re really good in the class. Probably a better teacher than Harris has been lately.”

You chuckle, but you’re still not sure. Being that close to the boy you’ve liked for ages? On top of not being able to teach well? He’ll reduce you to a stupid, stuttering mess, just look at yourself now, unable to look him in the eye. No, don’t look at him, that was rhetorical. 

“I just,” he continues, “when he was talking about people who needed to go up a whole letter, he was talking about me. I know you’re good, you sit in front of me. If you can even just explain it to me as you study, it would help a lot.”

Half of your mind races to find an excuse, looking for an out, while the other begs you to agree. Isaac shoves a hand in his pocket and waits for a response. You debate with yourself for a moment, but then the urging part of your mind wins the argument with a question of its own. 

“What about this,” you start, “I’ll help you in chemistry, if you help me in French?”

“What?” He asks, taken off guard. “I’m not good at French.”

“You’re better than me. You have the answers to most of Ms. Morrell’s questions, and I can hear you when she asks us to recite words out loud.” His eyes narrow at that, to which you reply, “you sit behind me in French, too.”

“Right.” He smiles, but doesn’t meet your gaze. Instead, he rests his head against the locker beside yours. 

“So?”

“How do you know I’m not just guessing?”

“What’s your grade?”

“A,” he sheepishly answers.

“See? You can tutor me.”

“What’s your grade?”

You purse your lips and avoid his eyes again. “Too embarrassed to say.”

“Really?”

“Languages aren’t my strong suit. We all have our strengths.”

“Alright, deal. Help me in chem, and I’ll help you with French.”

“Sounds good. Library, or at one of our houses?”

“I can probably go to the library sometimes. Maybe during lunch or free period. But after school, I have lacrosse, and you probably don’t want to wait around school for that to be over.”

“Okay, so then your house or mine?”

“Where do you live?”

“Like ten minutes from here. You?”

“A bit closer than that. Parents?”

“Don’t really care what I do.”

“My dad is a little controlling,” he admits. 

“Would he care if I were to come over?”

“Not if you’re helping me study.”

“Okay. You want to meet a couple times a week at your house, and sometimes during lunch?”

“Sure. Practice ends around five. Is seven too late?”

“Not for me.”

“Cool. So, um, I’ll text you, and we can plan dates.” He shakes his head. “I mean, like, what days work best.”

You blush at his embarrassment. “Have to give you my number first, doofus.” 

“Oh.”

You scribble it onto a sticky note and hand it to him. “Let me know.”

“I will. And thank you.”

“Thank you, too.” You hurry your way to your next class, leaving him red in the face and hands at having a girl’s number. Granted, it’s just for studying, but it’s the fact he was able to talk to you at all that has him shaken. Isaac forces himself to breathe, before entering it in his phone and tucking the sticky safely in his backpack. As the bell rings, he hurries to his next class. 

~~~~

The next evening is the first time you meet up to study. You drive to the address he’s given and knock on the door as gently as possible. Isaac had mentioned his dad is controlling, so the first thing you want to do is to avoid pissing him off in any way you could. Controlling could mean a lot of things, and the boy wasn’t specific at all. For both of your sakes, you tread lightly. 

Isaac opens the door a moment later, dressed in a simple t-shirt and sweats. You try really hard not to blush as he invites you inside, but then his dad’s strict voice snaps you back into reality. You can see Isaac take a visible deep breath before rounding the corner in the kitchen, you in tow. You put on your best look of professionalism while trying to anticipate how the next couple of minutes might go. 

“And? Who was it?”

“Y/N, the girl I told you I was studying with… with whom I am going to study,” he corrects at the last minute. 

His father’s posture tenses a bit less when his son corrects his own grammar without prompt, but it doesn’t stop his cold eyes from floating over to you. “And you’re studying what?”

“Chemistry, sir. I’m helping Isaac, and he’s helping me with French.”

“And you know French well enough to help her?”

“I believe I do,” he says, trying to sound confident. 

“I think he does, too. In class, he always has the answers, and Mrs. Morrell’s often impressed, and she’s hard to impress more than once.”

“Hm.” His dad takes a sip from a glass, then carefully sets it down on the table. His eyes are locked on Isaac the whole time. The boy stares at the ground, any confidence shaken by the interaction. You study the scene, confused. “Well… Go study. Bring up those grades.”

“Yes, sir,” you reply at the same time. 

Isaac nods for you to follow him to his room, which you oblige. His dad remains seated as you make your way up the stairs. You bite back a comment about the man, even in the safety of Isaac’s bedroom, and he doesn’t say anything, either. The same remark is in both your heads, yet while you want to ask it in a question, he wants to use it as a reassurance. Yes, he’s a bit more controlling than Isaac originally said. No, he won’t do anything stupid while you're there. He tries to convey this in an expression, which you half-understand, but eventually drop it. If anything happens, you’ll leave. Simple as that. 

As it turns out, the first night of you studying together ends up nothing like the initial interaction you had in his house. Isaac is gentle, patient, and willing to learn and teach the best that he can. He’s admittedly worse in chemistry than you are in French, but you’re able to convince him that you only need to work on a few things; an hour of time doesn’t have to be devoted to your studies, maybe only twenty minutes. On the contrary, the other sixty are put towards chemistry. And, of course, the first five are for settling in, and the last five are for uncontrollable laughter at a mispronunciation. 

Thirty minutes to nine, you realize how late it’s gotten and start to pack your things. Isaac looks exhausted, and frankly, as much as you’re enjoying his company, you’re getting tired from talking. 

“Voulez-vous qu’on se rencontre vendredi?” He asks, rather quickly. 

You stare for a moment, then, “what?”

“Vendredi.”

“Thursday?”

“Non.”

“Friday?”

“Oui, rencontrer?”

“Meet then?”

“Yeah, would you like to?”

“Sure.” You nod. “Say it again?”

“Voulez-vous qu’on se rencontre vendredi?” He says it slower this time. It has the same effect on you, but you can comprehend each word better. 

“Cool,” you say, not at all thinking about his accent that paints the words so beautifully. “I’ll bring my H2O, since I forgot it this time.”

The boy snorts with more laughter. “Bad joke.”

“Absolutely horrible,” you agree. “See you in school tomorrow.”

“Drive safe.”

“Be safe,” you reply before you can stop yourself, referring to his dad downstairs. 

Isaac only nods. He walks you to his front door, then hurries back up to his room. 

~~~~

Each day you study together follows a similar routine to the first: five minutes to settle in, sixty of chemistry, twenty of French, then five of joking around with each other. Sometimes Isaac pushes for thirty of French instead, worried that you’re sacrificing your own studies for his, and never understands when you push back that you’re good with only twenty. 

His chemistry improves immensely with your help. In three weeks, he manages to pull it up to a ‘C’. Not only is his father a bit more lenient to him after the next progress report, but he’s also more pleasant to you the next time you come around to study. He even cracks a smile. 

Today, you go over just the same as you have been. Seven on the dot, you’re greeted by his dimpled smile and half-friendly father. The man has now graduated to welcoming you, and has once clapped you on the shoulder as you’ve passed. You’re polite to him, though you can tell Isaac’s uncomfortable with his unusual behavior, so you always try to retreat upstairs as soon as possible. This time, he’s busy with something in the kitchen and doesn’t talk for long. He makes one comment about grades; you promise him you’re both doing well, then he lets you go. 

Finally away, it doesn’t take long for you to settle down anymore. You make yourself comfortable on Isaac’s bed, pulling out your notes and pens, and smiling when he joins you. You’ve come to be good friends in the last couple weeks, and although there’s something definitely in the air, too, you’re good with being friends if that’s all you can convince yourselves you are. 

You start, per usual, with chemistry, reading over notes and figuring out problems. He moves closer and closer to you each day you teach, simultaneously making you nervous and excited. Either way, your water bottle remains beside you to calm your ever-growing heart rate. When it comes time to switch subjects, you excuse yourself a minute to recover and prepare for the next half hour. In the beginning, it was easier to hide your blush, promising you’re still getting the hang of the co-teaching thing. Now, your excuse dwindles. The shy smile you wear as he recites words of the love language has never faded. You have to compose yourself entirely, elsewhere, to be able to control your reaction and face him. 

“Can I use your bathroom real quick?”

“Yeah, just over there.”

“Thanks.”

As soon as the door shuts, Isaac jumps off the bed to check his hair in the mirror. In the process, your French binder falls to the ground and loses its page. The boy sighs, mutters an ‘oh shit,’ then pulls it back up to find the page again. He opens the flap and immediately finds a stash of old progress reports. You seem to keep all of your old ones in the front flap of your binder; he’s noticed you have all your chemistry reports, too. Curious, Isaac steals a peek. Despite confessing about his ‘D’ in chemistry, you’ve always cheekily refused to share your French grade. He doubts it’s that bad, but he’s never gotten you to admit it. 

He glances at the bathroom door, then checks the date on the report before scanning the grades. Guilt eats at him the longer he looks, but nosiness, then confusion keeps his eyes glued. Is he really reading that right? There’s no way you have a-

“Sorry about that,” you say, closing the door. 

Startled, he drops your binder and looks up at you. “It’s no worry.”

“What’s wrong?” You notice his change in behavior, like a young boy being caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. 

“Nothing. Your binder fell off the bed, I was picking it up.”

“Oh. Thanks.” He smiles when you join him back on the bed. You’re not sure if you still have a right to be suspicious, or if he’s just embarrassed because he’s so shy. “So, um-”

Isaac, on the other hand, is brimming with questions. As anxious as he is that you caught him peeking, he can’t help but wonder about what he saw. You start to speak, maybe to change the subject, but he cuts you off, guilt and curiosity both winning. “You have an ‘A’ in French?”

“What?”

“You’ve had an ‘A’ since the start of the year. Why do you need me to tutor you if you already know it?”

You shut your open mouth immediately, face paling at the realization you’ve been caught. “I-... I don’t know. Your grades are better than mine.”

“By one point.”

“Two points. You have a 94. I have a 92.”

“Doesn’t explain the need for a tutor,” he argues.

You study him, choosing to base your reaction off his own. He’s smiling; seemingly happy, curious, and not at all upset. His tone implies no accusation, just confusion, and his body posture is straight, shoulders relaxed. A twinkle shines in his baby blue eyes; his level of eye contact is neither constant nor avoidant. He’s safe. 

“I, um,” you decide to tell him the truth. Or, rather, stutter out the truth. “I don’t need a French tutor.”

“So I’ve gathered.” Decisive tone, yet still friendly. Still safe. 

“I figured, since I would help you with chemistry, even though I’m not that good of a teacher, if you had to teach me something too, it would put less pressure on me to be a good teacher.”

His eyes narrow. “Okay… but why French?” He’s still a little confused on that reasoning, but doesn’t question it. He knows you’re shy. If that’s what you had to do to make it work that you could help him, he doesn’t mind. 

“I, er, well, the French provided a win-win scenario.”

“Which is?”

You shrug, body warming quickly as you near your deeply guarded secret. “I- I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Mhm, really?”

“You’re best in French,” you offer instead, on a whim.

“True,” he agrees, “though I feel that’s not the real reason, judging by your lack of eye contact.”

“I’m always bad at eye contact.”

“You’ve been getting better with me these last few weeks.”

“Yes, but…”

“I’m not going to judge, Y/N. Whatever you say, it’s safe with me. You trust me, right?”

“Of course.”

“Then how is me teaching you French a, as you call it, win-win scenario?”

Finally, you fess, “because I get to hear you speak it every time you teach me.”

Isaac’s quiet for a moment. Then, you realize it seems to have gone over his head as he says, “you hear me speak all the time in class.”

“Yeah, but… with twenty other voices mixed in, too. I like hearing just your voice. The way you know just how to sound it out perfectly, and the way your accent flourishes each sentence. Most people in class sound like they’re gurgling saltwater, but you make it sound hot, like the way French is supposed to sound.” Your mouth utters words before your brain can catch up and prevent you from embarrassment. As soon as you realize what you’ve said, a dizziness swarms your head and it feels like the temperature’s gone up ten degrees. 

Isaac is speechless in front of you. He’s first stuck on the fact that you like his voice, then on his pronunciation being described as perfect, but then he short-circuits as the word ‘hot’ falls from your lips. He doesn’t even realize when you plant your face into your binder, shocked by your own confession. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologize. It’s muffled, but he hears it enough to pull him from his trance. 

“You like my voice?” He asks, cursing himself for the stupidity of the question. It’s all he can think of to say, though, still trying to cool his own rising body temperature. 

“I shouldn’t have said all that, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I wasn’t thinking.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” he blurts out quickly. “I’m actually quite charmed by that.”

You resist the urge to look up at him, desperate to see if he’s smiling or not. Isaac seems to have a similar thought, and tries to hook a finger under your chin to lift your head. He succeeds, but then you instantly embarrass again, and dive for the pillows, burying your face amongst them. 

“Oh no, get back here,” he jokes. You feel him before you look out to see him. His hands shake your shoulder, but when you don’t respond, he playfully starts to tickle your neck. You scrunch and try to scramble away, but he only continues. “C’mon.”

“I can’t!” The words have finally sunken into his head; the weight of them falls on your chest. 

“Oh, yes you can!” He teases more, moving pillows away from you, just for you to grab another and bury back under it. When Isaac realizes there’s no use in trying to win the pillow war, he swings a leg over yours and begins to tickle your stomach. Your shirt has begun to ride up from your movement, and temporarily, he forgets you’re classmates, not longtime best friends. “C’mon, give it up!”

“I-I can’t!” You’re running out of breath, and pillows. He pulls another away from you, then puts his hands back on your sides. Your eyes are squeezed shut, but only do you open them because of the unfamiliar feeling of him touching you. A beat skips in your heart at the sudden, unexpected realization that he’s not only touching your skin, but he’s also straddling your waist. You swallow hard. He pinches your side lightly, shocking you back into reality, and making you grab another pillow to hide your face again. Before you can grasp it, Isaac grabs your hands and pins them above your head. You pant, heart racing a mile a minute. His too, as you can hear in the moment you both grow quiet. 

“You think it’s hot when I speak French?”

“No, I think you’re hot when you speak French. There’s a difference.”

“Is there now?”

“The temperature of the room doesn’t get hot, it’s you that gets hot.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Not that you’re not always hot… I mean, sometimes, you’re more like a cute little puppy than a hot, French-speaking…” your words fade as your brain catches up, faster this time, yet still not fast enough. 

“Am I now?”

What’s done is done, you figure. Can’t take it back now, can only admit it. “Yeah.”

“Huh. So all this time, you’ve been teaching me chemistry, and I’ve been talking pointlessly while you listen and learn nothing?”

“When you word it like that, it sounds bad.” A pout graces your lips as guilt floods you. “But I have learned some things. I was struggling with direct objects, and now I’m not.”

“Ah. So I’m not totally useless?”

“Never. You wouldn’t be useless even if I knew perfect French.” Before he can reply, you continue. “I’m sorry I wasted your time. I shouldn’t have. Can you forgive me?”

“Forgive you for what? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I wasted your time when we could’ve been doing more chemistry.”

“Darling, too much chemistry and my brain woulda exploded. The French lessons are a nice intermission. Besides, I wouldn’t consider any time with you as time wasted.”

“Really?”

He drops your hands and they fall back down to your waist. He seems, then, to realize he’s still on top of you, and begins to climb off. “Sorry, I-”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“Can I confess something else?”

He pauses. “Sure, anything.”

“I would’ve been okay with just tutoring you chemistry, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eye long enough to do it well.”

“You’ve been doing great with the eye contact thing. I know it’s not your strong suit, but you’ve made a lot of progress these last couple weeks.”

“Thank you,” you smile. “It’s not only that.” A heartbeat passes. “I like you.”

“You like me?” His eyes narrow before he assumes only, “you like my voice.”

“No, I like you. I mean, yes, I like your voice, but I like it because I like you.”

“Like me, as in…”

“Like I have a crush on you.”

He tilts his head like a confused dog. “On me?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Why do you seem so surprised?”

“I’ve never had anyone have a crush on me before,” he admits.

Now you’re confused. “What?! How?!”

“I don’t know!”

“That’s stupid. Never had anyone admit it, maybe.”

“I’d never know.”

“Well I’ve had a crush on you since the seventh grade.”

“You moved to Beacon Hills in the seventh grade.”

“Exactly.”

“And you’ve had a crush on me this whole time?”

“Very secretly.”

“Huh. Well I’ve liked you since the first day of school,” he confesses.

“I’ve liked you since orientation, so I win.”

He smiles, then shakes his head playfully. “So I sit behind you in classes for years and only finally get the courage to talk to you when I’m borderline failing chemistry, and you only get the courage to talk to me for more than one minute if you can convince me to talk half of the time that we’d be studying together.”

“Sounds about right.”

“And my portion of the talking is in French, because you think my accent is hot?”

“Your accent is always hot; your French is hot on its own.”

“Ah, I’m following now.” He chuckles, letting his fingertips grace your hips. 

“So,” you ask, “as two people with several year long mutual crushes on each other, what do we do next?”

“Well you’re the one that’s been tutoring me chemistry, love, I’m hoping you have the answer.”

You laugh, rolling your eyes playfully. “Wrong kind of chemistry, dork.” You reach your hands up to the sides of his face anyway, and pull him down for a kiss. Isaac complies immediately, setting one hand down beside you, while the other caresses your chin. Your legs hook around his waist, keeping him close until he starts to pull away, needing air. You let go, then hide your face as his own turns a rosy pink. 

“That was worth the wait,” he says, smiling, and touching a finger to his recently-kissed lips. “Êtes-vous d'accord?” 

“Shut up,” you tease, pushing him slightly. “Chemistry time.”

“We just had chemistry time. It’s French time now.”

“No, we can skip a round,” you insist, unsure you can hear anymore French fall from his lips without folding and kissing them again.

“On the contrary, I think you need to sharpen your vocabulary.”

“I think I’ll need a water break first.”

“That we can do,” he agrees. “I’ll make sure to get yours with extra ice.”

“Shush!”

[inspired-lesson-plans]

So I do have a job lined up using my brand new Commercial Driver's License, but it doesn't have a start date yet. And since I've used up All of my unemployment money, that means I am back to substitute teaching in order to pay the bills, at least for a little while.

Today has me as a one-to-one paraprofessional in a preschool special ed class. I have subbed Pre-K before, and I have subbed middle school special ed, but this is a whole new experience. Let me just share a few notes that I wrote down on a piece of construction paper while watching a little girl play with putty:

Almost everybody in this class seems to be autistic. I can't say that as a fact, but out of the eight students here, at least half of them are showing at least a few behaviors that I associate with autism. And having just read Neurotribes (highly recommended), I have got to say that I am ecstatic and overjoyed about this. There's no way that autism rates are increasing, but if this many kids between the ages of 3 and 5 are being put in a special ed program, then that means awareness and even diagnosis are skyrocketing.

Special ed programs in 2025 are amazing. These kids are actually allowed to be fully themselves. There's no behavioral redirection away from hand flaps or walking back and forth while rotating a plastic dinosaur and mumbling to yourself. Most of these kids are almost totally non-vocal, but they are allowed to vocal stim so long as it isn't bothering anyone. And this entire morning has been nothing but free play, except for breakfast and a quick centering activity to kick things off. In fact, the only redirections that I have seen were about kids spilling sand on the floor or being at risk of hurting each other. Everything else is just them expressing themselves. But social activities are encouraged, every kind of social normalization is rewarded, and nothing has been punished. Of course, we are very far into the school year, so I'm sure there has been a lot of work prior to this point, but the fact is it's working.

This district was able to get these kids in almost one-to-one faculty to student ratio. Other districts in my county are pretty good, but I don't think they have quite this good of resources. New Jersey is split up into so many school districts it's unbelievable. There was a kid here whose lunch was totino's pizza rolls, and one of the staff cut those already-bite-size bits into quarters. That's what it's like in this state. I have worked at two separate schools where the entire school district was just that one K-8 school, and for high school they go to a different district. I am entirely positive that this is because of redlining, especially in the town where I live. There are three different school districts in my zip code. One is well-integrated and wealthy, one is poorly integrated and struggling, and one is almost exclusively black and can barely pay its teachers.

Watching tiny little kids eat lunch is very interesting because of how they choose to eat their lunch. They don't just eat, they graze. But with this many adults around them, most of them immigrant mothers, the kids aren't allowed to just graze. They are told over and over again to keep eating. I do not think it's healthy, and I do not do that. Kid does not want to eat, I do not think they should eat.

One child was eating an uncrustable but she tore it in half, ate the insides, and threw away the uncrust of the uncrustable.

[stellar-collective]

I'm asking real niceys for you to talk about beebo!! 🙋‍♂️

holy CRAB this took a long time to get to, so sorry about that, my thoughts on the game were so disorganized i kept putting it off lol!! when u see how much i have written down u will understand. u will understand.

this is gonna be my ~spoiler review~ where i ramble incoherently about character and plot beats i liked! this will assume that you have played the game and remember it well. if u want the spoiler free version, that one can be found here! you have been warned!

ok so a lot of this are taken straight from the notes i jotted down whilst replaying the game! very stream of consciousness style lol

alrighty! right off the bat, this game just has SO much quality of life stuff that you’d think would get overlooked bc it’s such a small project but no! like seriously this game is way better than some Big Company games i’ve played that have cost, y’know, money. like for example, i touched on this in my spoiler free review but the way the dialogue changes throughout the loops? first loop, all of Oliver’s observations are brief and impersonal, leaving plenty of room for them to develop as the loops progress

i said in my first ramble post that Mari made me laugh out loud towards the beginning; this was incorrect, it was actually VIVI who made me laugh with her “i arrive.”

speaking of Vivi, she’s just peak. in general. i love her so much she’s such a vibe and i don’t think there was a single scene she was in that she didn’t make me laugh or smile like what an icon

the introduction to the time loop was KILLER ooh it had so much intrigue behind it already. also the IMMEDIATE implication of the memories carrying over with Oliver quoting Ángel’s “this isn’t the best place to get trashed” (they’re down so bad already AUGH)

haunted houses. oh my gosh. put those things up there with taming robots from Oneshot for “game concepts that make me BONKERS” like. i gained so much appreciation for that lore when i got all the endings. it’s delicious.

also the relationship between haunted houses and the concept of ghosts and how both relate to Oliver…

also love how every loop there’s a way for Oliver to learn the code without the player just knowing it! the fourth wall remains intact (we ain’t playing deltarune…)

I HEART DOOMED/TOXIC SIBLING RELATIONSHIPSSSS and oh how i love how much the characters in this game act like deeply irrational people with layers of relationships and trauma and love that muddles things up and affects their actions it’s so nice <333

Nina’s “mad at me island” joke was a one hit KO for me

after the explosion when Ángel is reaching THROUGH the panel borders and the clock echoes slow and loud AHHHH (also “i never got his name. he looks like an Angel�� KILL ME KILL ME NOW)

i LOVEEE how the loops echo and echo and echo with the memory loss being imperfect and how that makes you the player never doubt that it can be cracked and sets up the endings

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE COLORS i knowwww it’s simple but SHH i’m having fun. absolutely ADORE how everything is Eugene’s purple until they break the house and his hold over them and then everyone gets their own colors back. also love how you don’t even realize that they HAVE their own colors until the flashbacks (maybe) or the end when you’re like “ohhhh that’s NOT normal.” the house changes u. filters u. ur only halfway urself. AND THEN IN THAT ONE ENDING WHERE OLIVER DOESN’T GET OUT AND THEN HE’S PURPLE. HE LOST HIS COLOR AGGGHHHH

the fact that Oliver made one joke calling Ángel a seraphim years ago and he named his company that. soulmates fr

their banter drives me crazy i have so many notes in this document that are just quoting them bc it’s all so good. like Oliver showing Ángel his guitar callouses and Ángel wanting to make puzzles for him and just ADHLSJSK

also hugeeee shout out to autistic Beebo once again the grounded writing shines thru in how he takes all the jesting comments one step too literally. and like the whole bedroom misunderstanding? autism moment fr

“you have the look of a man who would be hunted for sport” Vivi is the funniest character ever written end of sentence.

the thief instincts showing up with Ángel yoinking Oliver’s hat. it’s so cute

OK I NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW GOOD THE ART GALLERY SECTION IS. this is a puzzle game. you’ve spent the last two or three hours of gameplay making things fit neatly together. that’s Oliver’s favorite thing; solving puzzles! and then the art gallery… it’s tantalizing. it feels that there’s rhyme and reason to it. like there’s a pattern you just can’t quite see. but… there isn’t. but there has to be. the game doesn’t end here, does it? and just like Beebo, you start to wonder if you’re doing something wrong. if you’re missing something. when you get trapped between those two rooms— oh man, i was panicking just as much as Oliver

and then!! the solution is to CHANGE THE GENRE!! this ain’t a puzzle game anymore, this is a doom style fighting game. and you’re gonna kill that house. i LOVE it when games pull stuff like that

OK THE KISS. it was actually SUCH a smart plan dude and also the fact that they GOT THEIR COLORS BACK because the house CAN’T wash out or dilute that kind of emotion? mm. genius. showstopping.

also like. there’s something there about the angel vs ghost iconography. the divine versus the natural. the house is breathing. the house is watching. the house has a purpose that breaks the natural world. fear not. you should be scared. i’m not making any sense but Man

ok the decision to make Ángel not know what cells or dna is so the player can hear a differently flavored explanation this game is really just a masterclass on how to repeat information without getting stale (there are many games that could do with this lesson)

the love this game shows for a mundane life is SO sweet and important to me like here’s this villain that’s so so so sosososo scared of death that he misses out on his life and like. that IS the story that timeloops have to tell. that you have to live the imperfect life because that’s all that matters!! immortality don’t mean nothing if you’re a hermit!! existing in a coffin, aging without living, that’s what a ghost freaking is!! and you don’t wanna be one of those!! you wanna be alive!! like a lot of games n movies n books n stuff make you want to go out and have a wild adventure but i rlly appreciate this game for gently taking ur hand and saying “the REAL adventure is the friends u make along the way and the best part of the story is the holiday parties and the sleepy mornings and the board game nights and the pottery classes and the vinyl records and the sunrises and the love” bc it’s RIGHT.

anyway. thank u for coming to my ramble. i should become a youtube video essayist or smth i’m so good at yapping to an audience of No One. i’m not normal about anything ever and that’s never gonna change sorry

[i-like-blue-eyed-robots]

Wheatley has ADHD

It’s a common enough occurrence that it probably deserves its own trope — aliens, robots and any other nonhuman character almost always end up with autistic traits. It’s because writers take a nonhuman character and go ‘well, how do I make this character register as nonhuman, but still human enough that audiences will like them?’ And the answer is making them neurodivergent. I’m not personally inclined to say that this is a good or a bad thing, though I can see how it might be taken that way.

However, some authors like myself do it intentionally, to demonstrate how neurodivergent people can end up ostracized.

Some examples of common traits that are autistic-coded and writers give to nonhuman characters are as follows:

-difficulty understanding metaphor, sarcasm or exaggeration

-overly blunt in communication

-unawareness of others emotions/incorrect reaction to said emotions

-difficulty realizing their own emotions

-need for a strict schedule in order to be happy

Of course, there’s more out there, but I’ve seen these pop up quite a lot.

However, the Portal series’ fantastic writing team did not follow these stereotypes with their robots, and that’s what I would like to cover today.

I would go over GLaDOS in relation to this idea, like she clearly understands sarcasm, but she doesn’t quite fit for reasons that would be obvious to anyone who’s played through Portal 2. I’m here to talk about Wheatley, the other main robot we get to know in Portal 2.

Wheatley is not autistic coded. He has no problem speaking to strangers or making eye contact. He enjoys sarcasm almost as much as GLaDOs, and so on and so forth.

However, Wheatley is most definitely neurodivergent-coded, and it’s fascinating because for once, maybe for the only time ever in popular media that I’ve ever noticed, a robot is adhd-coded instead of being autistic-coded.

What do I mean by that? First of all, if you haven’t finished Portal 2 go do it now. It’s relatively cheap on Steam and it’s amazing. Moving on — it all stems from what we’re told Wheatley is, during the betrayal scene with GLaDOS. Now to preface this, GLaDOS is a liar. You can take most of what she says with a grain of salt. But, what she says is all we have officially to go off of.

To add further context to this line, the personality cores or “Aperture Science Personality Constructs” (the line of robots that Wheatley is a part of) were specifically built in order to be plugged into GLaDOS’ systems to slow her down and to keep her from killing everyone in Aperture. In the first Portal game, Chell, the player character, incinerates the four ‘successful’ cores that supposedly were the last ones needed to stop GLaDOS. However, given that the character has to travel through an empty facility to do so, it’s clear that they weren’t nearly as successful as the engineers had thought. Later, as core after core was built and none of them worked to stop GLaDOS, Aperture was needing robot maintenance of some kind since all of their human faculty were being killed, fired due to financial ruin, and/or quitting, and so the personality constructs were repurposed to try and keep the facility from falling apart.

Aside from GlaDOS and Wheatley, we don’t see any “non-corrupted” cores. And even both of them are corrupted, with GLaDOS being 80% corrupted and Wheatley assumedly 25%, after doing some quick math of the boss fight. This would normally affect my ability for confident analysis, but luckily in this case I don’t need them to prove that good ol Wheatley is adhd-coded.

Because right from the get-go, “generating an endless stream of terrible ideas” sounds pretty damn adhd to me, as someone who has both inattentive and hyperactive adhd myself. Now, that’s not to say every idea a person with adhd has is a bad one. That’s not even the case with Wheatley, despite it being what we’re told, because again, GLaDOS is an unreliable narrator. It’s Wheatley’s ideas that keep her from killing Chell with turrets or neurotoxin. He’s the one who gets Chell to dismantle those systems. Those are clearly not bad ideas.

But what about other adhd traits? Having an endless stream of ideas isn’t even on a symptom list of being adhd, it’s usually just a side effect of everything else going on. Well, Wheatley has plenty of them.

Hyperactive-type adhd symptoms include but are not limited to;

-fidgeting

-excessive physical movement

-excessive talking

-impulsive behavior

-restlessness/impatience

Oh but how can a robot ball fidget or have excessive physical movement, you may ask. Well. This is the most expressive ball I have ever seen in my life. Wheatley is constantly moving, shifting panels, popping his eye out, spinning in his casing and so forth. The excessive talking one is easy, my younger brother (also an adhd yapper, who has no room to talk) was trying to throw Wheatley over the railing into the bottomless pit beneath Aperture “because he was yapping” too much. This is unusual for a robot character (outside of the Portal series) whereas they tend to speak when spoken to. Wheatley is generally impulsive, but this is especially noticeable when he’s hooked up to the facility in the GLaDOS chassis. After PotatOS calls him a moron, he proceeds to punch her and Chell into the abyss below without thinking about it, reacting out of anger until he realizes they’re about to drop, right before they do. Interestingly, that sort of impulsive rage reaction is more often seen in monster characters, like perhaps a werewolf situation. It sort of adds to the framing that now Wheatley is in control of the facility, he has become something monstrous. Now, judging his patience level accurately is difficult, given that in the beginning he’s in a high-stress, deadly situation and later, when he’s in the chassis, he’s being affected by symptoms of drug withdrawal. However, he is impatient, such as when he’s playing the recorded sound of knocking on a door at the beginning. Granted, he’ll go on ‘knocking’ forever because it’s necessary for the story, but he speaks up every couple of minutes asking if you/Chell are going to open the door already. Again, this is unique for a robot character, as they tend to wait on a player or another character’s actions before responding to it, rather than initiating.

Impressively, these are not all the symptoms Wheatley demonstrates. There is another form of adhd, known as Inattentive-type adhd. The symptoms can include the following;

-Short attention span

-Overlooking details

-Careless mistakes

-Inability to stick to tedious tasks

-Difficulty organizing tasks

-Constantly changing tasks

-Difficulty listening to and carrying out instructions

For having a short attention span, this is again, difficult to determine for Wheatley in a normal setting. In the beginning he’s mostly able to focus, but he’s in a life-or-death scenario. However, he does ramble on about things that have no relevance to what he and the player character are doing, such as when he’s telling the player character about the many jobs he’s had around Aperture and been subsequently released from. He definitely has issues overlooking details, such as when he and Chell are supposed to be dismantling the neurotoxin facilities. While he’s busy ‘hacking’ a computer that may or may not even regulate the facility in the first place, Chell dismantles the generator and he doesn’t even realize she’s doing it at first, because he’s distracted listing off the hardware of the computer. As for careless mistakes, again, this could be simply the situation he’s in, but he definitely makes them. Like when he’s transporting the relaxation chamber in the first chapter, he runs into an unbelievable amount of other relaxation chambers, tearing Chell’s apart. Or even when he’s supposed to be guiding her around Aperture but he dips into wrong corners and has to recorrect. He most visibly has difficulty with tedious tasks when he’s in the chassis, as the facility is literally falling apart because he didn’t bother reading the manual or taking care of the massive amount of upkeep the facility requires. But again, he’s suffering symptoms of drug withdrawal as well that could be affecting his ability to do that. However, given his descriptions of his job loss, mentioned above, we can gather that this is likely an issue he had before ever being a part of the core transfer. This also is in line with difficulty organizing tasks. As for constantly changing tasks, again, he has somewhat better focus in the beginning because if he doesn’t he’ll die, and later he’s exceptionally distracted by a need to test. But even when he should be consumed with the need to test, and he does watch Chell for most of it, he does stop watching randomly at times to do… Who knows what. When it should be the only thing he can focus on. As for difficulty listening to and carrying out instructions, again, the facility falls apart and Wheatley kept being fired for similar, if not the same reasons.

So. That covers basic symptoms and how Wheatley fits pretty much all of them. But, a lesser known side effect of adhd is that it can easily lead to the development of other neurodivergent disorders such as anxiety and depression. Adhd is also linked to something known as emotional dysregulation. Wheatley clearly exhibits signs of anxiety. He’s terrified of dying, and says as much at several points. Not only is he especially scared of dying, but he’s scared of judgment, too. He’s constantly trying to seem more important or smarter than he is, and even though Chell is a silent protagonist, when he takes over the facility before being affected by the testing withdrawals, he assumes she’s been secretly plotting against him the entire time. Depression is more difficult to spot in Wheatley, as he’s not lethargic, but, again, a high-stakes situation can allow a person to mask their symptoms for a brief period out of self-preservation.

However, I do want to point out he clearly displays emotional dysregulation, and not in the way one might expect from a robot character. Wheatley is exceptionally sensitive to criticism. When GLaDOS begins her spiel about him being an intelligence dampening sphere, he moves as far away he can from her, turning his back so he doesn’t have to look at her. He even goes so far as to say “Not listening!” while she’s saying it. Then when she calls him a moron, he reacts violently, in a way he hadn’t so far in the game before that moment. He smashes her through the glass of the elevator and then, when she proceeds to call him a moron again, is when he smashes PotatOS and Chell into the pit. However, he doesn’t even need to even be actively insulted to react to perceived insults as just as much of a threat to his psyche. As mentioned earlier, despite Chell being a silent protagonist, and in some ways because Chell is a silent protagonist, Wheatley assumes that she’s been plotting against him from the start. Her perceived attacks against him are most especially notable during the boss fight. He points out that she’s always quiet, assuming that she’s “silently judging” him. He points out that she didn’t catch him when he fell off of his management rail in the beginning, and that she didn’t warn him that she was the one who killed GLaDOS.

All in all, Wheatley is a beautifully three-dimensional character, not in spite of being a robot, but rather, in some ways, because of it.

[spookierdeer]

my internet was down recently so i redesigned some miraculous ladybug characters from memory. details of this spur of the moment au below ⬇️⬇️⬇️

this is kind of off the cuff and wordy as hell, but it was what i was thinking about while drawing. i ran out of steam to draw anyone else but if i were to revisit i would probably do this in a different art style lol i tried to make them match but it's too samey to me and got boring working on this fast </3

marinette is 16-17ish instead of 13-15, most of the cast are this age except a few like luka who are 17-18

ignore that marinette isn't fully colored in the first image, i saved it before deciding to fully color everyone LOL

instead of general education, they go to an arts school the first akuma attack was focused on a private school nearby which adrien, kagami, and chloe attend with adrien and chloe being transferred afterwards to the art school (adrien and chloe both put in the fashion design course by their dads)

marinette is in the fashion track, alya in photography/video editing, nino, luka, and rose are in music, juleka and marc in writing, and nathaniel is in illustration/animation. other characters either fall into other tracks as well, attend the private school, or another nearby school that isn't arts focused. if a character fits something else better than what i said then pretend i said that instead 👍

marinette's interest in fashion design takes more of a front seat, i feel like it isn't brought up much in the show for how important it seems to her. instead of a 14 year old designing an album cover and whatever other insane opportunities she's gotten, i think those opportunities might come from businesses and celebrities working with the art school and marinette having a track record of lucking out in her work catching the eye of the people interested

kagami in canon is extremely autistic teen girl coded to me and therefore my favorite so i double down on that here

-her hair is short because in one of the only times she's actively rebelled against her mother's wishes, years prior to this au, she cut her hair short on her own because the feeling of it touching her neck and shoulders was constantly upsetting her. when her mom finally noticed she took control over this act of rebellion and took kagami to a hair stylist to get a haircut she found more appropriate; kagami has been getting it cut this same way since then.

-after moving to paris she had to give up a lot of the norms she found comfort in. i think she would have taken incredible care of the backpack she was given when she first started school and it's become somewhat of a comfort item. the private school would be pretty strict about dress code, but as long as the backpack didn't look sloppy and was in one of the allowed colors, she could use it- so even if she didn't use it much in middle school i could see her returning to it to have as a piece of home in a new place that's otherwise incredibly overwhelming.

-even if she isn't interested in it, she listens to her mom and does as she says which has her even more quiet and reserved than she would be normally. shes good friends with adrien, he's actually one of her closest friends, but she doesn't open up much more around him and he can tell. she meets marinette through him and while she doesn't magically blossom into a different person, she definitely speaks her mind more when around her and eventually adrien- marinette's personality connecting with her own just right and that makes her feel safe in a deep way.

-marinette inspires her to push boundaries, one of the first ways she rebels (considered so in her own mind) is wearing a friendship bracelet marinette makes for her despite her school not allowing jewelry like that. another is a "good luck" charm key chain she keeps latched to a zipper inside her backpack.

-i don't remember, but in the show i think kagami might model with agreste brand in some way? she might do that here too since her mom and adrien's dad are close, but she prefers modelling for marinette's projects even if she's shy about it at first. they're usually alone during this and kagami sometimes helps by wearing marinette's WIPs as she works and during those times kagami finds she laughs and smiles the most.

-i'm rambling now, but kagami reflects marinette in a lot of similar-but-opposite ways i didn't get into here and i need to stop talking about kagami and marinette or i'll be here all day.

idk what all to write for adrien bc i dont keep up with the show anymore so idk what his deal is rn, BUT here i would explore his experience with unspecified depression- he would have so much lust for life and joy but between his mom recently passing and his dad being a quiet megalomaniac with his only real parental support being his dad's assistant and his own bodyguard- he just doesn't feel much excitement with life despite how he might express himself in front of his friends. i think getting transferred would be, unintentionally on his dad's part, the biggest boon possible for adrien bc he would slowly regain that excitement in regards to just living his life- even if gabriel squashes it often with rules and tiring modelling work. becoming friends w nino, marinette, and everyone else would bring him out of his shell just like kagami even if it's in a different way.

luka is one of my faves too so he was one of the first i designed; he's not incredibly more important in this au, but i'd want to focus more on the eldest sibling in a single parent household stress of his character. a wonderful son and brother with a lot of skill and patience who's willing to lend an ear to any friend. lot of stress would pile up and i like thinking about him finally finding out who his dad is- that he's met the guy and it's one of his musical idols. and the man never said anything. and how that would upset him. and being the backbone of not only his family, but his friend group as he's stressed about going out into the world on his own soon in an unstable field and now he has to cope with that too...

instead of meeting alya at school, marinette and alya have been best friends since childhood which brings a bigger stress on marinette when she can't even tell the one person in the whole world her biggest secret- especially since alya IMMEDIATELY becomes ladybug's biggest fan and defender and they never would keep secrets before- and alya could tell she wasn't saying something. i like imagining the added stress of losing that confidant marinette would have had for years and years and having to handle some of the most stressful things she's ever experienced on her own save for tikki with alya slowly worrying more and she can't say a thing. alya got into photography in middle school during projects with marinette and ended up wanting to study it, but seeing ladybug only fuels her love of it- running the ladyblog and social medias about the hero while marinette watches on wishing she could tell alya for the longest time. eventually she does but that's down the line lol

nino is still adrien's first friend in the new school and he meets everyone else through him. i think nino and luka would be fairly close in this au with them working together whenever the other needed help on projects or just helping the other out with learning new skills. i'm not sure how to write it here but i like thinking about alya and nino's dynamic as a couple since what i remember of the show was mostly them together then talking about adrienette instead lmao

one of the biggest examples of missed potential in mlb to me is chloe, so shes rewritten as bully with hero worship of ladybug(/baby's first lesbian crush) only to have her dreams crushed when ladybug takes back her miraculous and says she doesn't think she'll be able to trust her with it again. not sure if she would let it fully go to her head here or if she just suddenly found comfort in pollen only to have ladybug take the kwami away without listening to her side of things. i have a whole thing written for her in my notes app that ill never share just know shes fleshed out here way more than in canon- i already rambled too much about kagami so i'll hold myself back here LOL

marc is such a fun character to me but i REALLY don't like his look in canon and he's one of the main characters i wanted to redesign so i let myself have a lot of fun with him to make up for the years of looking at his canon one

nathaniel is similar, i don't want to change too much about him but i think he's a fun character and his blazer/tshirt/skinny jeans/converse fit in canon pissed me off for years on the back burner lmfao... i think i might've leaned too far away from a style his canon counterpart might choose, but he goes to an art school and if his multiple of his friends being in the fashion track and his partner being an alt kid can't stop him from wearing a plain tshirt and blazer then idk what could

JULEKA..... why does her first saga design look like a sims 4 townie that's goth and into track? not even current sims 4, 2014 sims 4. sims 4 fitness stuff. i'm getting to the characters i wouldn't change a ton about story wise now clearly, i just think their drip is nonexistent, barren. i think her going from near full coverage purple and black goth to bright pink clown when akumatized is a fun dichotomy. i don't think i'll be redesigning any other outfits (or characters for that matter), but that drastic of a change is very fun. i could see her occasionally wearing a privacy mask like marc on days she feels too socially anxious.

i think a modern take on rose would almost inevitably lean into lovecore, but i tried to keep her more simple. i will always love purple/pink ships and the tall, dark, and broody looking juleka who's mostly just quiet and shy and rose who's short, bombastic, and kind with a huge heart is a very sweet and fun pair. in the show she has an unspecified illness which could be any number of things, so i thought maybe she would need to bundle up more than the others (granted there's a lot of long sleeves here lol)- more layers than usual to regulate in the cooler months and the opposite during the warmer ones. i kind of drew these with spring in mind, so she'd probably be wearing thicker leggings or something here- she still REALLY wants to look cute even if her body is mad at her (relatable).

i'm intentionally not getting into the miraculouses or akuma or kwami or the whole (gestures vaguely to gabriel and lila and everything else) here since i'm already yapping more than this justifies for an au i'm not doing anything with. just had a lot of thoughts while designing these. i didn't get a ton into ships here aside from the last few, but i also don't really know how i'd deal with the "love square" since i was never invested in that and instead liked lukadrienette and marigami more lol... i'd also want to explore marinette finding out about chloe's one sided crush on ladybug and her reaction vs chloe dealing with the fallout of hero worship. if you read all of this thank you ilu mwah mwah

[7ndipity]

Them With An Autistic S/o

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How the members would handle/react to their S/o being on the spectrum.

Warnings: Mentions of sensory issues, feeling over/under stimulated, depression, meltdowns, stimming.

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! This is a list I’ve actually wanted to write for a while, but I’d been slightly nervous/unsure about it. But as someone who’s also on the spectrum, I know how much comfort similar posts from other blogs have brought me! I also tried to keep this one a bit lighter, since someone asked for a separate list about meltdowns/shutdowns, but if there’s any specific reactions/hcs like this that you guys want, let me know! (Please note that these are based off my own knowledge/experience, so I’m sorry if they don’t fit for everyone)

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin:

I feel like he’d be slightly confused and worried at first because he’s not sure what to do/how to help you, but once you explain a bit more, he gets a lot more comfortable, and really is such a good caregiver when he needs to be.

Catches onto your different stims pretty quickly and what each one means.

Like, y’all have whole conversations solely through funny little hums and stim noises.

Really good at reading and matching your mood/energy. You wanna talk about the Mayans nonstop for two hours? Cool! You want to just sit silently and do nothing? Also cool!

He’s really good at normalizing your symptoms and making them seem like nbd(because to him, they aren’t) Food sensitivities? He’s got them too! You hate loud noises and crowds? Same Honey, let’s get the fuck outta here! He knows they’re not quite the same thing, of course, but if it makes you feel more comfortable and safe being your true, unmasked self with him, then that’s all that matters to him.

Really good at calming you down when you feel overwhelmed or on the verge of meltdown.

Does his absolute best to bring your mood up whenever you’re struggling or feeling really down, pulling out his best dad jokes(even if they don’t make sense to you), bringing your favorite snacks, etc.

Yoongi:

I think he would handle it really well. Does his research after you tell him, and asks you about it casually during dates/hangouts.

So fucking respectful of your boundries. If you prefer to have your own space, he’s totally fine letting you do your own thing. If you need more closeness and cuddles, he’s all over that too, letting you sit right next to him while he works.

Not only lets you rant about your special interests, but makes the effort to take interest in them and asks questions. Randomly buys you little things related to them.

He’s so calming and soothing when you’re feeling stressed or overstimulated, understanding whenever you randomly need rest or quiet time(stress nap buddies)

Keeps things like extra sunglasses and headphones in his bag for you, just in case you forget yours.

Would have a lot of fun if you have audio stims, letting you listen to his new songs because your reactions and enthusiasm are so cute to him. Makes you panning audios as gifts.

Always there to look out for you whenever executive dysfunction decides to kick your ass. Washes the dishes, doing the laundry, restocking your safe foods, etc. He would also be really good at body doubling.

Hobi:

I honestly think he would be really good with an S/O on the spectrum. Like, he literally designed Mang, who is soo ND coded like omg😭, so I think he would be able to understand you really well.

(if you haven’t seen the videos of him talking about Mang’s personality and character traits during the re-design process last year, pls go watch them, I almost cried)

Loves buying you new fidgets and stim toys whenever he finds new ones to try(he even has a collection of chewlery that he wears bc he thinks they’re neat).

Is really good reading you and distracting you when you start to get overstimulated or anxious, sometimes noticing before you do.

Lowkey protective over you in spaces and situations he knows are stressful for you, positioning himself next to you whenever he spots things he knows bother you.

You know how Yoongi described him as a vitamin? That’s how it is for you now too.💛

He’s so stimmy himself, so he would find a lot of your stims really relatable and endearing. Like, if you start happy stimming, he can’t help but join right in, bouncing or squealing with you. It makes him so happy that you feel comfortable enough with him to share those parts of yourself with him.

Namjoon:

Instantly super supportive when you told him, making an effort to research on his own, as well as listening to your personal experiences to understand as much as possible.

Happily sits and lets you info-dump about your special interests. He honestly loves seeing you so passionate and animated about whatever you’re talking about and loves getting a glimpse into how your mind works(it was probably during one of these moments that he realized he was in love with you)

Surprisingly good pebbler, he’s always finding cool rocks or shells for your collections.

Doesn’t mind speaking for you on days when you’re nonverbal.

The sweetest when you’re feeling overstimulated. He closes all the curtains to make it dark and cozy and sits with you, talking as softly as needed or not talking at all, tapping your hand gently now and then to let you know he’s still there.

Soo protective over you, almost to a fault at times. Like, you might have to scold him once or twice about babying you, but he really doesn’t mean to, he just wants to make sure you’re safe and happy.

The world feels a lot less scary tho with him next you. You know if you need anything, he’s got your back.

Jimin:

The softest boi🥺 He was honestly a little scared when you first told him, because he didn’t want to do anything wrong and was worried he wouldn’t be ‘good’ at looking after you, but he quickly relaxed and grew more confident as he learned more from you.

The best comforter when you’re feeling overwhelmed or depressed, full of quiet reassurances and long hugs(if you’re okay with those). He’ll gladly cuddle with you under your weighted blanket for however long you need to feel better.

Literally set up a little “nest” for you at his place with a like beanbag chair and your favorite types of blankets/pillows, so you have your own place to just ‘be’ and recoup when you need it.

Carries fidget toys and sensory aids like sunglasses and headphones with him at all times, just in case you need them.

Really good at communicating with you on days when you’re nonverbal, whether through texts or little notes(which he always adds little doodles on to make your smile😊)

Makes sure you never feel guilty or like a burden to him for letting him in on those tougher days. If anything, they make him love you even more because of the trust you have in him.

It really makes him feel so proud and happy inside that you find so much comfort in his presence and that he gets to take care of you.💜

Taehyung:

Another that I think would be particularly good with a neurodivergent S/O. Like, everyone jokes about how he’s weird, so I think he’d love that you’re both your kind of own unique kinds of ‘weird’.

Happily rewatches your favorite comfort shows/films with you, and speaks in fluent film quotes with you.

Loves when you fidget and stim with his hands or fingers.

If you like pressure stims, he’s a dream come true. Like, the man’s a living weighted blanket, so when you basically give him a doctor's note for cuddles? He’s never gonna let you go.

As relaxed as he might come across sometimes tho, he’s super observant of your stims and triggers and takes it so seriously whenever you start feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, if you need a break, he’s getting you to a quiet place where you can sit and just recalibrate.

Rivals Jin and Yoongi for top spot in the acts of service department on your bad days, making sure you eat properly, doing any household chores that need done. He even learned how to wash your weighted blanket so you don’t have to.

Jungkook:

Was definitely a little lost and overwhelmed when you first explained everything to him, but he really takes it in stride and tries to learn as much as possible to help make things easier for you where he can.

The King of comfort squeezes. Like you’ve seen his arms, he gives the best hugs, I just know it(especially on those “the weighted blanket isn't enough, I need a hydraulic press” days)

Loves learning about your special interests. Like, It’s no longer just your special interest, it’s our special interest. He’s even studying and finding things for it on his own to surprise you with.

Honestly plays with some of your fidget toys more than you do, lol! You might even end up giving him a few of his favorites😊

Gets super happy and smiley whenever you get echolalia of his songs.

Another member of the protective squad, ain’t no bad stimuli getting to his baby if he can help it!

The gentlest with you when you're overstimulated or having a tough day. Anything you need, he’ll do without question. All he cares about is making sure that you feel safe and comfortable🥺

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[vicvinegarandhughhoney]

Dennis Reynolds is AUTISTIC!!!!

(At least, I headcanon him as such).

Here's why:

Sensory issues:

If you've watched the show, you probably already know what I mean, but Dennis really struggles to deal with sensory input. When there's a loud noise, he often covers his ears- like in Family Fight:

or he gets frustrated, lashing out at diners for being too loud (The Gang Dines Out), getting annoyed at Frank for chewing gum too loud.

It's worth noting that later on in this episode, Dennis can hear Frank chewing gum from the other room. He's clearly hypersensitive, and perhaps this even goes to explaining a little bit why his room is soundproofed? Could it be that rather than not wanting people to hear what's going on inside, he's desperate to block the noise coming from outside?? (this was suggested by @kod-lyoko , and I LOVE IT).

There are SO many examples of Dennis plugging his ears (often when the others don't react in such a strong way):

There are way too many examples to list here, and too many images I could give (the above were taken from @dennisboobs ' gif set) but hopefully you get the impression.

Social issues:

I feel like this one is pretty self-evident, but I find deconstructing the things Dennis does super fun, so I'm going to explain anyway: Dennis does NOT know how relationships work. There are a great deal of factors at play to cause this (I would argue that his early experiences in life definitely moulded his view in an unhelpful way) but the systematic way he looks at interactions REEKS of autism to me.

The DENNIS system is hardly peak autism representation (it's certainly not the bright and bubbly stuff people often talk about), but the fact that he has a system for romantic/sexual interactions, both for men AND women, feels super autistic-coded. He quite literally has a script which he follows to make interactions easier, one which he sticks to rigidly. And if anybody tries to implement this carefully thought out system incorrectly? Well, he'll let you know (e.g in The Dennis System episode where he blows up at Mac and Charlie for not getting it right at the fair).

He masks his social deficits well, but sometimes things don't go to plan. Sometimes, the girl on the cruise ship runs away, and Dennis announces that 'that's not supposed to happen'.

He comes off as creepy, but that's not his intention. He doesn't understand the way he's perceived by others in general- he thinks he's the King of St Joseph's, not realising he was actually an outcast all along. Just like a lot of autistic people, he didn't understand that he was on the fringes of society until it was thrust in his face, and that hurt.

Speech:

While Dennis often appears to speak pretty normally, there are a few occasions where his frustration causes this mask of normality to slip.

In The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby, Dennis is caught off guard by the hipster's reading of him, and immediately goes back to Frank and Charlie, parroting almost the same words he heard right back to them, despite not seeming to understand them at all (perhaps a form of echolalia?).

"I'm out here trying to make a difference, and you're over here rummaging around in the trash like a couple of narcs! Okay, you can't just come down here with your mainline cashmere, mousse... quaff... hairspray, and start being like, a suburban tool!"

It's also worth noting that even the poetic way he speaks when he's angry could be a trait ?? As a recently diagnosed autistic person, in my report they spoke about how I used 'idiosyncratic' language (basically, peculiar language lol), and listed terms like 'connoisseur', which I guess were deemed pretty formal for casual conversation.

And it got me thinking, who else do we know who uses VERY idiosyncratic language? Dennis. Reynolds.

"The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these halls, like the gust of a thousand winds"

"Begone, vile man, begone from me!... I am untethered and my rage knows no bounds!"

"You didn't tell me there was to be pollen!"

Etc... etc...

The way he repeats 'savages, idiots!' during his rage at the frat bros feels very autism coded to me. Repetition of certain words and phrases is common!

Heightened emotions:

Again, something that I didn't know until I myself was diagnosed is that for a lot of autistic people, we spend most of the time at a pretty 'flat' emotional state, but when we do experience emotions, we experience them intensely. Frustration turns into anger, sadness turns into despair, happiness turns into ecstasy- it's why some autistic people might be misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder!

This, of course, fits well with the way Dennis experiences emotions. He spends a lot of the time believing he doesn't have any at all, and when he does feel something, it's overwhelming.

"And I have feelings! Of course I have feelings, I have big feelings, okay? And it hurts."

These lines hit hard regardless of the extra weight you put on them, but when you see them through the lens of autism, through the lens of a lifetime of misunderstanding and overstimulation, it makes them hit even harder.

It hurts him to feel. His emotions are so strong that they're painful, and he's never been taught how to deal with them, because nobody even knew he had them in the first place.

Stimming:

Finally, I think Dennis stims. A lot. If you search up 'Dennis Reynolds autistic' on this very site, you'll find gifsets and videos illustrating this.

He has a few very common ones, like tugging on his earlobe when he's anxious, playing with his fingers, etc, but if you pay attention to him even when he's in the background of scenes, you'll pick up on a lot. Dennis is constantly moving, and while you could suggest this is simply a result of Glenn's ADHD, I'd argue that some of these stims happen so frequently in Sunny specifically, that there's no way they're coincidental.

Glenn makes a lot of very specific acting and directorial choices in Sunny, so why dismiss these as choices too?

That's all I can be bothered to type up now, but here's my case for Autistic!Dennis ! Of course, he's a complex character so there's always room for different interpretations...

but as an autistic person, I hereby claim him as One Of Us™.

[dragonfly0808]

Tecna: The Thesis

This one has been a long time coming I know

First Things First

The first words I have for Tecna in my character profiles are tech nerd child, but she has so much more depth than that, even more than I’d ever originally planned

One of the things I really wanted to get across with Tecna is that is not and has never been an ice queen or unfeeling or cold, just bad with communication and her way of showing affection is atypical

While writing s1, I wrote her as autistic coded but was very hesitant to confirm her as autistic since I really did not want to accidentally write her autistic traits in an offensive or just misrepresentative way, but, after seeing my portrayl of her landed well with a lot of commenters who were part of the autistic community, I decided to do my research and properly commit to portraying her as autistic (whilst of course, never making it her full personality, just a part of who she is)

To me, Tecna is one of the most compelling characters to write, since she has a huge heart and holds a lot of love for her family and the Winx and, over the course of the seasons, we see her get better at communicating that whilst never forcing herself to conform or change to do it the ‘normal’ way

Family Matters

Aside from Riven, I think Tecna is the one who benefited the most from the changes I made to her family

I gave her a big sister and a little brother as well as loving parents who raised them all in a farm on the domestic side of Zenith, that focuses on farming and crops

After I committed to writing Tecna as autistic, I chose to portray nearly her entire family as neurodivergent, her dad is autistic and has ADHD, her mom has dyspraxia, her brother has ADHA as well as dyspraxia, her big sister being the only neurotypical one

The reason for this was because i wanted to portray her parents as always has taking Tecna’s needs/triggers into account and accommodate for all of their childrens needs and never try to change who they are; this is why from the get go, Tecna is unapologetic about who she is and what she needs, having never once been taught or pushed to mask.

Tecna in the OG always had a sense of absolute confidence and in my mind, giving her an understanding family who always embraced her as she was would be a great way of explaining why that is.

Also, I just really wanted to give her a loving, fluffy family since so many other families in the rewrite have issues and problems

SPOILERS FROM HERE FOR SEASON 3, THE OMEGA ARC AND SEASON 4 PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP!!!

A Frozen Loss

Now, from the moment I knew I was going to rewrite s3, I knew the Omega Arc was going to be one of the hardest and angstiest to write

i feel like both in the OG and in the fandom, Tecna can often be underrated and underused and I wanted to take the chance to show why I love this character so much and how she is an integral part of the group and there is no Winx without Tecna

In a sense, yes, Tecna is the brains of the group, she is the strategist and the one who comes up with a 27 step plan and the tech genius. But she is also the glue. She’s probably one of the most loved characters in the group, every single one of the girls and the boys have a very special and unique bond with Tecna, partially because of her odd way of showing affection and love

When Tecna cares about someone, she shows it even if she doesn’t always know how to say it, everyone knows it and loves her for it.

The Omega Arc also gave me a chance to show how resilient and smart Tecna is. Like I mentioned, she’s a strategist and a chronic overthinker and our girl doesn’t know how to back down, she’s determined and a survivor.

After the Omega Arc; surviving by herself for a week in a hostile planet and losing both her right leg and left hand, there is of course a huge shift in her character.

I chose to have her lose limbs to fully push how traumatic and life-changing the Omega Arc is not just to Tecna, but to all the Winx. After Omega, Tecna becomes a bit more comfortable with physical contact and starts to question her priorities and what she wants with her life… which leads us to-

Potential Can be Suffocating

One thing I thought I could do with Tecna was to have her shift her priorities when it comes to her plans for the future, going from being determined to be a buisness woman to realizing that she, while she still wants to be successful, it’s no longer all she wants

I think we all know how damaging hustle culture can be sometimes and, to incorporate smth a bit more personal, as someone who was always seen as ‘the smart one’/‘the one who’s gonna maintain us’ in the family amongst the cousins, I’ve felt the looming pressure of being the one in the family with the most ‘potential’. And as I’ve grown up, I’ve kinda realized that I don’t really want to throw myself into being solely dedicated to becoming this big buisness person like- obviously I want to be successful and be able to provide for myself, but I also want to have time for my writing and my family and myself, and I wanted to give this same kind of quiet realization to Tecna

For Tecna, it’s herself who puts on this pressure since, as a little girl she started seeing the modern side of Zenith as ‘superior’ in her mind and really wanted to leave the farm life to become exclusively focused on buisness, but as she grows up and, especially after Omega, she realized she wants to stay close to home and wants a quieter life, she still wants to be successful and to change the world, but it’s not all she wants anymore

Not sure if I explained that last point as well as I wanted to.

Thoughts Behind Her Main Relationships

Tecna

I love Tecna and Musa, they are very much a friendship between unconventional girls who don’t always come across as they mean to.

They both struggle to make friends for different reasons but the second they meet they realize that they are quite similar and so never push each other outside of their comfort zone at first and that’s what allows them to become close enough to then push one another.

Musa gets what makes Tecna tick and makes sure that she’s comfortable, she makes sure she gets her alone time and makes sure she doesn’t get overwhelmed.

Tecna gets that Musa doesn’t want to talk about herself so instead gets her to open up about her music.

And it’s through this that they start to trust one another and by s2 we see them knowing each other well enough to keep the other from spiraling.

When Tecna’s confused about her feelings for Timmy, it’s Musa who reminds her that it’s okay to not be ready for a relationship. And when Musa and Riven first kiss, it’s Tecna who suggests they take it slow since she knows how skittish they can both be.

At this point, they push one another when they need to.

They are crucial to each other’s growth.

Timmy

Now, my darlings, my softies, my introverted nerdy lovers

I know a lot of you were like- what the fuck do you mean they’re still not dating? Towards the start of s4 but I really wanted them to actually take their time before getting together

Timmy has a crush on Tecna since s1 and it’s in s2 where Tecna falls for Timmy slowly but surely, being a bit confused about her feelings since this is the first time she’s ever fallen in love. They have a talk and decide that neither are really ready for a relationship, Tecna because she’s still learning to communicate and just doesn’t feel ready in general, Timmy due to his anxiety and desire to work on himself before trying for a relationship

Once the feelings are out in the open, they are a lot less shy about being affectionate towards each other, since they know they’re headed for a relationship someday.

After Omega, any subtlety goes out the window for a bit, but they still aren’t official since, they really just- they know what they feel and what they have, that’s enough for them throughout s3, especially with everything going on (the song Tell Em by Sabrina Carpenter I feel really encapsulates how they feel about having a concrete label)

But now in s4, they are finally going to be dating and… honestly not much will change. That’s what I love most about Tecna and Timmy, they’re best friends in love. They act like best friends… who ocasionaly kiss. Love it!

Nabu

Now, Tecna was the last Winx to get her platonic soulmate, and I really loved introducing Nabu into the story through Tecna

These two just click from the very start, they are both have quite cool and calm demeanors that hide the ocasional gremlin behavior beneath the surface

They are each other’s impulse control and they trade a singular brain cell back and forth (Tecna has it most of the time).

I’m not really sure how to describe their relationship since, there are just some people in life with whom you just click for absolutely no reason, they just make sense to you in a way that very few people do, these two click and just want to hang out and protect one another

Who is Tecna in this Rewrite?

In this rewrite, Tecna is a young girl who isn’t the best at communicating

She is a girl who slowly grows, not in the sense that she changes, but in the sense that she grows into herself, learning more about herself, slowly learning how to communicate her love and care

The only thing that truly shifts are her priorities as she realizes just how important her family and friends are to her and, whilst she is a very ambitious girl and that doesn’t change, instead it is re-directed into… I actually can’t quite say how it is re-directed quite yet since that won’t be revealed until a lot later on

But my fave way of describing Tecna is just a girl growing into herself, into her love, into her hobbies, into her ambitions and into a wonderful woman.

———————

Masterlist

Tecna Moodboard

Tecna’s Instagram

Tecna and Musa Moodboard

Tecna and Timmy Moodboard

Tecna and Nabu Moodboard

———————

I know this one has been a long time coming, I apologize for the delay I just could not for the life of me put this into words, but here it is!!!

[mayxo-hxh]

As autistic coded as Illumi is, he is also EXTREMELY Bpd coded. Here's a thread abt why that would be, from a person with bpd. 🧵

Everything about his character screams a person that feels so so much but forcefully tones his feelings down so hard to the point where they seem nonexistent.

On the exterior he seems like he couldn't care less about most things and is a very calm and controlled person. However, his emotions shine the brightest when the topic of interest is a person he cares about.

This is ESPECIALLY shown in the election arc where he reveals much of his emotions to the audience. He gets two whole bloodlust scenes this arc.

One with extreme anger

and one with extreme joy.

When Hisoka provoked him, it took absolutely zero transition for him to immediately spike his bloodlust and aura to GREAT amounts to the point of engulfing the entire MOUNTAIN and reaching Killua from SO far away.

And in the same exact second it happened, it ended just as quickly the moment he noticed Killua running away. That is a CLASSIC negative mood swing example if I've ever seen one. One extreme emotion in one second, gone in the other.

On the other hand, his second bloodlust had a small transition, one that still did not give you the expectation of what truly came after.

He is seen watching Killua on his phone and the moment Nanika healed gon, showing Killua can use her on command with no consequences and also showing her immense power, he was absolutely overjoyed. So much in fact that he exploded in maniac laughter and aura a second after merely giving it a small laugh.

We get a hint at his bloodlust incoming in that moment, but NEVER predict just how MUCH would actually come out. Classic euphoric mood swing number two.

When he encountera Killua with Hisoka in the background at the end, he is pretty much shown going through the five stages of grief in mere minutes the moment his own butlers turn on him and allow Nanika to come out.

denial, anger, depression...

bargaining.......

and finally, acceptance. acceptance that he was going to be traded by killua not only for a friend, but for the rest of the family's lives.

He was so very clearly unhappy about it at the beginning, yet came to acceptance in mere seconds the moment nanika came out. He bargained with himself, Killua shouldnt be able to wish twice, then accepted. even if he could, thats okay. go ahead, kill me!

and then theres also the way he just switches from a very :DDD to >:| mood in like one panel short hello he is so coded

Even more; Usually bpd is either caused through trauma or inherited. and you can definitely argue that illumi went through enough "training" for the former but. is his behavior not. familiar to yall. not at all???? im just saying......... I know someone else in the zoldyck family that has intense mood swings!

if there is one person in the family that shows their unfiltered emotions and switches from being calm to screaming in distress in a single second, its going to be this woman. she gave birth to a son thats a literal copy of her. she ctrl c'd and ctrl v'd.

and i dont exactly know what this next one has to do with the thread but why was bro normal for one second then turned into this i mean im not complaining hes still hot and ill claim him as my bpd son regardless

anyways yes this was the thread have fun with this interpretation slash analysis however u like 👍