#not literally true. but it feels like it a lot

[hypermega-bummerboy]

THIS!

I'm so grateful that I had access to porn as a kid and adolescent because it let me safely explor my sexuality without putting myself in physical and emotional jeopardy. Like, this is how I figured out I was gay without trying to do anything unsafe. It also helped me figure it out a lot younger too, so I went into adulthood knowing who I was and what I wanted/needed.

I think the biggest danger with porn is exactly the same one as with Power Rangers and that's people thinking that porn is real sex. It's not. It's Power Rangers sex. It's fake and it's all done to look good not feel good.

This is the talk that parents and schools need to have with kids. It's the same media talk we should already be having but expanded. Not everything you see on TV is real. Not everything you read on the internet is true. Not everything you see in porn is good.

It's also a good conversation starter for talks about consent especially around kink. Like, remind the kid that these are paid actors and ask them, "what they think happened before they started recording that scene? Do you think they talked about it first? Who's getting paid what? What is going to happen? Who is doing what? All of that is negotiated ahead of time, they just don't show it."

But literally conservatives want to do everything else besides talk to their damn kids.

may be a hot take but i think the fact minors can access 18+ content by just clicking a button that says 'yes im totally over 18 trust me' is like. totally fine tbh. its a non-issue. i dont care if curious teenagers are looking at porn. they've been doing that for as long as porn has existed. id rather teens explore their sexuality through images on the internet than rush into real life experiences when they're not ready for it yknow. the UK is trying to put stricter age verification in place (which in turn is becoming an online privacy nightmare) and like. for what. who is it helping. why is this a problem.

[hanjisungslag]

attack on titan headcanons #17

synopsis: attack on titan character’s love languages ☁️

characters included: eren, mikasa, armin, sasha, connie, jean, reiner, bertolt, annie, levi, erwin & hange

notes: i’m rewatching aot & it’s made me realise i missed my babies so much </3

☆ eren jaeger

giving : acts of service

eren is not good with his words unfortunately, he’s a man of many words but few are romantic lmao. eren likes to show his love through his actions, he’s a true believer in “actions speak louder than words” only because it’s convenient for his situation but anyways; he does all sorts for you, he’ll make your bed for you, wash your dirty dishes, share food with you, share clothes with you and not only does he perform mundane tasks for you most importantly, he protects you. he will absolutely fight for you life even if it costs him his own. 

receiving : words of affirmation

listen, listen, listen… i know eren isn’t good with his words but, i hope to god you are because this guy loves words of affirmation😭. baby boy just needs to be reassured & told that he’s doing a good job by someone he loves goddamn it! it’s safe to say that you do indeed shower him with compliments constantly, you help fill a void that was left after the fall of shiganshina, reiner & bert’s betrayal and pretty much everything in between and after.

☆ mikasa ackerman

giving : quality time

oh, my sweet baby mikasa. quality time is just so simple, so convenient and it really gets the job done for her - she gets to spend time with her partner whom she loves ever so much and when you’re spending so much time together, you just get to know each other more and more. she honestly finds no better way of connecting than literally just being in the same room, you don’t even have to talk to her.

receiving : gift giving

i mean… she does love a good gift and she will treasure that shit (as seen in the show). when i say gift receiving, you may think expensive stuff but, lowkey she’d rather something more meaningful even if it means it being cheap. she just likes having something that you gave her around/in her space whether it’s clothes or a trinket she can have on her bedside table.

☆ armin arlert

giving : words of affirmation (& quality time)

now this guy has a way with words! i think because of his own insecurities, he is always hyping people up & making them feel good about themselves just cause he knows what it’s like to feel worthless. he is constantly hyping you up, you could do the simple most mundane task and he’d be like “wow, you did that so efficiently!“

oh, you washed the dishes? wow, they’re looking extra shiny! you did a great job.

you dropped & broken something? aw, it’s okay, mistakes happen! we’re only human, let’s see if we can fix it.

you messed up a mission? it’s okay if you need to cry, you did the best you can & that’s more than enough. we’ll train together to make sure you get em next time!

he really just wants you to know how incredible you are and how capable you are of literally anything as long as you put your mind to it. (quality time is a close second purely because he loves just being with you & chatting for hours🥲)

receiving : words of affirmation

okay, call me boring for using words of affirmations twice but, idc he loves hearing it as well and realistically, the poor boy needs it. as i literally just said, he is quite an insecure boy - he really doesn’t think he’s all that great & he carries a lot of guilt. you will be telling him constantly!!! how amazing he is, how he deserves to be in the position he is in, how you guys & the rest of the world literally wouldn’t not be in this place, wouldn’t be free, without him. being around you two is so funny for other people cause you’re just both hyping each other up all the time lol.

☆ sasha braus

giving : quality time

sasha is a simple gal, she wants to be with her partner all the time & always be chit chatting and having a laugh, simple as. she just finds no greater way to express her love than by just being around you. she’s not the best gift giver and she’s not overly affectionate but, one thing she can do is talk your ear off for hours on end! which is what she does!!

receiving : acts of service

i think we all know what i’m gonna say… you cook for her, obviouslyyyy. we all saw how she acted in season 4, she loves food… you cook her food and she’ll love YOU! it is quite literally the easiest way to her heart, she knows, you know it, everyone knows it. she’ll especially be happy and feel loved if you are a good cook, if not she’ll let it slide. just for you ;).

☆ connie springer

giving : quality time

he just wants to be around you 24/7, he finds no greater joy than being in your presence !

he’s the same as sasha, they are literally twins separated at birth i’m convinced. he just wants to chat and laugh with you all day long, every single day for the rest of his life.

he definitely wouldn’t like being in complete silence with you, he likes to just keep talking and talking so he can get to know every single detail about you.

receiving : quality time / words of affirmation

again, like i said he finds no greater joy than being in your presence so, he also likes receiving quality time from you too lol. however, he would also eat up compliments from you oh my god. he loves a compliment off anyone but, you? like his partner? his crush? the apple of his eye? it would just tug on his heart strings!!

☆ jean kirstein

giving: all.

i’m sorry, call me bias but, if this man is loving you he is gonna LOVE. YOU. yes, he will absolutely make you breakfast in the morning and make your bed for you. yes, he will absolutely tell you how beautiful you are from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall back asleep, he’ll also tell you how amazing & capable you are, and how everything you do, you do it so incredibly well. yes, he will absolutely pepper you with kisses all day, hold your hand as you walk down the street & place his hand on your leg as you sit and eat dinner. yes, he will absolutely give you random gifts throughout the year whether it’s flowers, silly trinkets or jewellery. yes, he will absolutely want to spend all of his time with you!! i think you get point when it comes to jean lol.

he’s really the definition of lover boy, he loves you so much & he wants to show that in every single aspect he can. god… my boy 🥲

receiving : all.

and if he’s loving you, he wants you to love him back LOL - he wants allllll your affection in every shape and form. i mean in all honesty, you could glance in his direction & that would be enough for him but, if you really give him all your love and affection in every single aspect you can, even if that’s the bare minimum e.g. simply holding his hand, tell him he looks good today etc. he will just crumble. start worshipping the ground you walk on, kissing YOUR FEET if needs be. he appreciates being shown the love that he gives to you & let’s face it, he deserves ittttt!

☆ reiner braun

giving : physical touch

we all knew this was coming, right? reiner loves to give you hugs, kisses & cuddles but also, he loves the small touches like holding your hand as you walk down the street, placing a hand on your leg when you’re sitting down, guiding you through a crowd by placing a hand on the small of your back. i think a lot of his physical affection comes from the fact he’s so traumatised, his mental state has been fucked with so heavily that he can find it difficult to express his thoughts adequately so, he uses physical touch to show how much he loves you instead!

receiving : physical touch / quality time

listen. i’m sorry for being boring but, he enjoys receiving physical touch too, IM SORRY!! again, for the reasons i stated above about his fucked up mental state he just likes feeling your presence cause it makes him feel at peace (for once). the physical touch and quality time go hand in hand, he likes being around you but, you must absolutely be touching at all given moments you two are together lol. whether you’re sitting down and your hand is on his leg, or your legs are sprawled across his or if you’re walking down the street, you absolutely have to be holding hands!!

☆ bertolt hoover

giving : quality time

poor baby just wants to be around youuuu. he’s not one for words of affirmation cause he’s just too shy bless him, he likes physical touch but he’s not a huge fan. therefore, it’s just easier for him to express his love through hanging out with you! he really misses you when you’re not around, you are genuinely the funniest, sweetest, smartest person he has ever met and he obviously loves being in your presence because of all those traits lol.

receiving : words of affirmation

my sweet baby bert😭 he needs to hear some encouraging words quite often. when you first met him, his confidence was fairly low. he was shy, quiet & was kind of just reiner’s shadow and he believed all this stuff himself. he was absolutely a good solider, no doubt about it but, when it came to general social situation & self-confidence, it was rocky to say the least. but, when you start giving him words of affirmation, over time his confidence will skyrocket!!

☆ annie leonhart

giving : acts of service

oh my girl is nawt saying shit, she is nawt getting touchy, she is nawt getting pressies but, she will do your laundry for you😁. she’s not particularly romantic in the way she speaks or in the way she acts in general, she was raised to be a fighter. she was raised to be fearless and ruthless especially against people like you (eldians). however, she can show her love through acts of service! she will gladly do your laundry, cook you lunch, beat someone up for you— omg, who said that?

receiving : acts of service

she also does nawt want to hear your words of affirmation, or have you be physically affectionate or give her presents etc etc. although, you can do these things of course… in moderation. anyways! she just likes when you return the favour, it’s the easiest way for her to understand that you love and care about her. again, raised with no real love or affection, just fighting constantly. she’s not one for hugs or compliments - she’ll only accept physical affection in times of sadness or grief. for you to return the favour, acts of service, it shows to her that you care about her enough to do things for her like, getting groceries or making her a cup of tea.

☆ levi ackerman

giving : acts of service

again… levi has had a fucked up life, emphasis on fucked up. he is a man of few words, he is a busy man and he is a man that does not like physical touch etc. the only way he can think to show you that he cares is bringing you tea in the mornings, doing the dishes, making the bed in the morning and so on.

receiving : quality time

okay, i know i said he’s a busy man however, when he is not busy slaying titans and what have you, he loves when you’re in his presence☹️. he doesn’t want you to give him acts of service because that just feels like it’s his thing, you know? he doesn’t know how else he’d show his love so, he likes that it’s just him doing chores (also he’s very particular about cleaning as we know). but yes, having you in his presence when possible is very important to him - most of his loved ones are dead, he can never see them again so, he likes to see you as much as humanly possible or else he starts to get rather lonely..

☆ erwin smith

giving : gift giving

in my mind, erwin is a wealthy man okay. he is a man of luxury & knows how to treat his partner like royalty and he does exactly that! he’s also a busy man as we know and also rather monotone - do you see what i’m getting at? he can’t give you quality time or words of affirmation, it’s just not in his agenda unfortunately. but, trust. me. every time he does get a chance to see you, he is bringing a goddamn gift. it doesn’t necessarily have to be expensive, it could be flowers from the local florist or your favourite dessert from the bakery across town although, he does also get you lots of jewellery hehe. he actually had to buy you a jewellery box because he’s bought so much for you.

receiving : quality time / physical touch

as ive said, he’s a busy man!! being commander and such so, when he’s not sending hundreds of soldiers to their deaths, he loves when you’re in his presence. you don’t get to do it often so, trust me, you are ATTACHED to him, literally glued to the man. being glued to him goes hand in hand with the physical touch, you’re spending time together while holding hands or what have you.

you’ll be walking through town.. holding hands.

you’ll be eating at a candle lit dinner.. holding hands.

you’ll be at the stables riding horses and you’ll be holding hands.

it’s not a want it’s a need!!

☆ hange zoë

giving : everything 😭

hange is a very very eccentric, extravagant person so, obviously they’d literally do everything and anything for you and that includes their love languages. they absolutely love being around you constantly so they can yap your ear off about one thing or the other. they will constantly compliment you whether you styled your hair differently that day or you’re just looking radiant and they feel the need to point it out. they looovvveee a kiss and a cuddle! like seriously. hange loves that shit. hange is a pecker if you will, they love peppering kisses all over your face at least 3 times a day. hange would and does love to take the bins out for you! they love getting your groceries or walking your dog! ask them for anything and they’ll jump out of their seat to do it for you. and finally, they love giving you gifts. it’s always weird little trinkets or obnoxiously large gifts? for some reason? there’s no in-between either btw. it’s kinda fun for you cause it’s like everyday is a new love language lol.

receiving : the same!

hange just absolutely loves when you doing anything for them, spend time with them, kiss them, make them dinner; literally anything. they’re just so obsessed with you that whatever your preferred love language is, they’ll take it. i’d say quality time would be their most preferred when receiving purely because hange is a yapperrrr therefore; they love spending time with you lol. but seriously, they will take whatever you give them. they just love you no matter what.

[madamechrissy]

Just Friends!? chapter nine preview

Pairings- Former Nerd! Gojo and F! reader

Warnings -A LOT of emotional angst, insecurities in reader, distance, hurt/eventual comfort. I'm afraid this is very emotional and only gets moreso from here. Will be out in a couple days! This will likely be the second to last chapter! :')

You all have thought I went completely fluffy too!

You know it’s just acting, but without even being in his arms, being near him for a month now, it hurts that much more to see Satoru’s lips on another pair, to see his hands cupping the pretty movie star’s face. His snowy lashes fluttering shut, you know it’s all for the cameras, but it doesn’t stop that sharp stab in your chest.

You look away, focusing on making a drink, when they cut off to an interview. They ask him -

‘They say you love the cute, ‘girl next door type’, is that true?’

You look up at that, seeing your handsome boyfriend’s scowl, you feel your stomach drop, knowing he’s angry at that, but wasn’t it true? Weren’t you the cute girl who literally grew up next to him, the small town girl who everyone knows, you’re not some starlet. 

Would he one day want that?

The longer without him, the darker your thoughts are, the more hurtful to yourself. Without his hugs and kisses and bright smile, without the way he looks at you, like you’re the only thing in existence. It’s just one thing after another, it’s all just too painful, and it’s nothing Satoru is doing, it’s the very nature of this distance, of your worlds being completely different. 

‘My type is her, yeah she grew up with me basically next door, so what?’ Satoru’s voice is clipped.

‘So you didn’t date anyone in Hollywood because you prefer more… normal girls? Small town over the city?’ He scoffs now, his jaw setting.

‘Nothing about her is fucking ‘normal�� got me? She’s exceptional, and I don’t want to hear your dumb fucking questions. I’m done.’

Satoru yanks off his mic and tosses it across the room, the live interview quickly shuts off, and once it does shoot over to the awkward announcer, you feel the eyes of the bar on you, sympathetic, kind, they all make you feel sicker and sicker even so. He calls, so you quickly walk out, feeling the emotions begin when his husky voice is on the other end.

“Toru…”

“Fuck, she was so stupid,” he grumbles, already slipping in the back of the limo, leaving mid interview. “Calling you fucking normal?”

“Well, I am. In comparison-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there, sweetheart,” your eyes well up with tears, standing outside in the cool night, missing his warmth. “You’re beautiful, you fucking know you are.”

“I know you think that, but that girl you just kissed? She’s insanely gorgeous, she's glamorous. How can I ever compete with it? I’m not even there with you…” You’re sobbing now, you can’t help it, you’ve been holding it all in for a month, building and building the less you hear from him, the more you see his clips. “I should be supportive of you, n-not needy.”

“You are supportive.”

“I constantly need reassurance.”

“I’ll constantly give it to you.”

“Toru, don’t you deserve more?” Satoru blinks his own tears now, hating the trembling in your voice, hating your words.

He hasn’t talked to you enough, he’s not had a moment, and when he does – you’re at work, or taking your classes, or you’re asleep. Every time gets shorter, the longer he’s on this dumb fucking set, he doesn’t want to kiss someone else, he has to think of you to evoke this ‘chemistry’ him and his co star have. You know that, but he can tell it’s too much.

Now you don’t feel you’re enough?

It's been a month since I got to these babies! I had to psych myself up just a bit </3 DW it will all end happy!

[dadailybocch]

evidence of kita being depressed?

WELL, aside from hearing it straight from the horse's mouth....or uh, Instagram post?

There are other examples. But I'll try to get to the heart of it. 🤔

(I'm not much of a writer, bare with me .-.)

An aspect of Kitas character that is revealed almost immediately is that she doesn't have a whole lot of true self-worth. She knows she can mingle & get along with folks & make friends, but she feels like she's just sort of coasting rather than having any meaningful impact, both on herself & the people she meets. She gets along, but that's just it. She just goes along with the crowd because she's afraid she'll be left behind with no one & nothing otherwise.

But even with her more extroverted, go-with-the-grain approach, I get the feeling that she still feels lonely even when she's around people. Kita knows that people generally like her, but she feels like no one really knows or loves her on a more personal level. And she blames herself for it quite a bit & downplays her own accomplishments as a result, more often than you'd initially think.

As early as the chapter/episode where she debuts, she's very quick to talk down on herself about the way she handled trying to join the band the first time. And yeah she definitely made mistakes, but she's already the "I don't deserve to show my face around these people after what I've done & I've shown I really can't trust myself at all" stage for something that got straightened out pretty quickly all things considered. Girl you are 16, it's gonna be okay 😭😭😭

(The anime's version of this bit is really good, because her expression & tone when she says her goodbyes to them is the opposite of how it's presented here in the manga, her masking her sadness with some bittersweet enthusiasm & a sweet smile (on the surface). Shows that she's used to hiding how she really feels so that she doesn't make things painful or uncomfortable for others, even if you know she's eating away at herself on the inside.)

This low self-worth, this feeling she has that she has nothing to truly offer anyone makes her quick to put herself at the center of her own blame & bail/run away before she causes any more friction, severing any connection before it festers even though she like, just got there? Which unfortunately only makes her further isolate herself, in a sense. She's trying for "fake it till you make it", but she feels like she's only good at the "faking" & not so much like she's really "making" anything of it.

If Hitori hadn't stopped her from leaving the band behind that day, she probably would've left & never looked back, those 3 girls just another footnote in her book of regrets, another failure in her many attempts to make some sort of meaningful connection. All because she feels like she's failed before anything even starts. She trusts herself that little & is painfully self-aware of this. All of this.

And it makes me sad because Kita's good nature & kindness is very much The Real Deal. I think she's as upset about all this as she is because she's a loving person who wants to be loved, who wants to love life. But she's so hard on herself that she feels like even if she does end up being loved, she won't have nearly enough to give back in return. Which....well we know isn't really true, the girl's so much love to give it literally radiates out of her like she's goin Super Saiyan 🤣

That's my sort of "general gist" of where I personally most of Kita's depression stems from. I didn't even get into her being a narrative foil to Hitori & how she (even still?) puts her on a pedestal. The Runaway arc shows that she took that "I'm gonna be good enough to support Hitori" to a level that.....well, a level I certainly didn't expect. Telling your highly-critical, conservative, public servant mother that you're going to completely abandon the idea of going to college & instead follow the path of some "dropout" to be in a rock & roll band is uhhhhhhhh........well, I can certainly say that Kitas got some real balls of steel sometimes 🤣

Oh God her mother, I didn't even get into how her mom's clearly kind fucked her up in the head a bit.

BUT I'VE RAMBLED ENOUGH, I'll leave any additional commentary to The Experts, because there's certainly a lot more you could say about Kita's "darker" side, she's a fascinating character through & through. Thanks for reading if you did. 👍

One more Very Normal Girl for the road 👍

[bookishdreamer28]

What it feels like

Mattheo Riddle x reader ♡

"Well look who it is. The little pixie of Hogwarts." I stopped in my tracks and sighed deeply. Not again. Not another day of hearing his annoying voice. His beautiful but annoying voice.

"Don't you have better things to do Riddle?" I asked him bluntly.

"Oh I definitely have but there's something funny bout you getting mad over my" he pushed his hair back "charms."

I almost laughed at how stupid he is.

"Charms? Oh don't make me laught this much Riddle it's too early for jokes. Especially your lame ones." I turned around and left for the potion class. Stupid Mattheo, with his stupid face and his ridiculously stupid but pretty smile. I hated the fact that I've been crushing on him for months.

___

Is he doing it on purpose? Has he made a bet? A deal? I tried to scrub of the very shiny glitter of my uniform but it was pointless. I happened to have to sit next to him in the class. If things were different, I would have been over the moon to be him but once he showed his true colors, the only thing he does is getting on my nerves.

"I hate him. I hate him so much." I mumbled under my breath and I threw away the scrubber and walked in the Ravenclaw common room.

"You're ok? I heard what happened in class." A friend of mine came up to me.

"No! It's never ok when stupid Riddle is in the middle of everything!" I angrily replied but then tried to calm down. "Sorry for exploding like this."

My friend smiled gently. "No worries. I know he bothers you a lot. Slytherins are not known for their "kindness"." She laughed and I smiled nodding.

"Anyway, I'll head upstairs. I'll talk to you later." I hugged her and went to our room, trying to asleep without thinking about his damn eyes, hair, hands. His damn everything.

I rolled over and hugged my pillow as I cursed to myself, knowing I was doomed.

___

Hogsmeade has always been my fave place in Hogwarts. It is the place where I can freely explore, try new things, get away from the chaotic and hectic school life which nonetheless, I have come to love either way. It's pure magic.

I was about leave Honeydukes when I pumped into a hard chest.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Next time try walk with your eyes open, pixie." Oh no. Just when I thought that I was having a good day.

"Riddle." I groaned.

"In flesh." He smirked.

"I don't have time for this." I walked passed him but he didn't let me go as he grabbed my wrist. Gently.

"You're leaving this early? Just when fun was about to begin? Come on sweetheart, I missed your company."

"We literally were together in class just before we headed outside."

"That's still took long for me." He blurted and I eyed him suspiciously. Like he was trying to trick me or something.

"I'm not your little plaything Riddle. To torture everytime you feel like it!" I freed my wrist from his grasp.

He frowned. "I never said that. You know that I'm only tea-"

"But your actions says otherwise." I took a step back and left him standing there with his friends.

"Seriously though, when will you stop with your teasing and say how you feel? You know she doesn't like-" Theo said.

"And how you know what she likes?" He sharply turned to look at his friend.

"I'm just saying-"

"Don't say a thing." He added and went inside the store, as he tried to get distrac himself by anything just to stop thinking about you.

___

I whimpered as I tried to get up but my leg was in an awful condition. Playing Quidditch was something I absolutely loved and hated at the same time. Loved because it was fun to fly around with broom and being with friends, but hated because only one person could ruin everything, including the game and he just did that. Mattheo had to come all the way to me with force and throw me from my broom. Just great. A strained angle and a sore body was exactly what I needed now.

"You're ok?! I got you, don't worry." Fred Weasley was right next to me, as he slowly and carefully placed his arms on my back and under my legs to lift me up. He has been there for me since I joined Hogwarts and he's a great friend. The same goes for his brother George too.

I whined at the movement.

"Thank you." I looked up at him. He smiled and looked down at me.

"No problem sweet girl. I was so worried when I watched hit the ground like this. I swear when I catch Riddle shove his damn broom all the way up his-"

"You got a big mouth for someone who lost yesterday Weasley." He comes the jerk himself.

"As if I care about that now. You could've harm worse if she was any higher you jerk!" Fred was fuming.

Mattheo clenched his hand and his face had turned dark. His expression was so cold, that made somehow scared of him for the first time. It's like he wasn't himself.

"It's a game. There's competition and these things happen in the field-"

"You mean things like ready to kill someone?!" Fred almost yelled.

"Fred, please let's just leave." I whispered close to his ear.

"Shit I'm sorry love. I'll get you straight to thw infirmary." Fred started walking again and as we passed by Mattheo I caught his stare on me. He looked worried for a moment but it immediately turned into an anger, and he strode through the corridors to leave. But I kept staring at him till he disappeared behind the corner of the wall.

...

It was night when I finally returned to my room, and laid back on the bed carefully, because too much movement made my body hurt. With the potions I got, I definitely felt better but I still needed recovery. When I rolled to my side to sleep, my eyes fell on a small envelope, and a small bouquet of flowers next to it and a small bottle of a red liquid. I grabbed the envelope and opened it, smiling as I read the letter.

~ Hey, I hope you're ok. I'm so sorry about what happened I'm- I just hope you'll recover fast and have you back on the field to kick asses. Like you always do. The small bottle you'll find along with the letter and the flowers, is for not feeling any pain. It'll help you recover fast.

With love ~

Fred must've left it. He was so caring and everything but I never made any thoughts of being anything more than friends. Even though he's boyfriend material for sure.

I closed my eyes as I fell into a nice sleep, dreaming about only one person.

___

It's been days since my accident in Quidditch and through these days I noticed how little I've seen Mattheo. Not that it boyhered me, quite the opposite actually. But it was like he wasn't being his usual annoying self. Well, I shouldn't care.

As I was heading to Transfiguration class, my eyes fell on Mattheo for the first time after days and felt my breath caught in my throat. He looked...drained. Exhausted and sad at the same time but all these went away for a moment when his eyes fell on me. There was longing in his eyes. He looked at the same I way I've been doing for months now secretly.

We just stood there, looking at each other.

He looked like he wanted to come to where I was standing and talk to me but all he did was grab his bag and walk passed me like I wasn't there.

I frowned and turned around to take one more look at him. What is up with him? And why do I care all of a sudden?!

___

"Wake up sleepy head! It's snowing!" My friend exclaimed excitedly and I hummed not really being in the mood to wake up yet.

"I'm heading to The Trree Broomsticks so if you ever decided to leave bed, you gon find me there." She blew me a kiss and left.

After an hour passed I was already making my way to the front door of Hogwarts when Enzo stopped me.

"Hey Y/N." His smile was warm, unlike someone's. Even though they're friends, I still try to understand how they got along from the beginning.

"Hey Enzo." I smiled back.

"So...how are you?" I raised a brow.

"Why are you being weird?!"

"Weird? Weird how? I'm only asking because I care." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah...anyway, I'm fine, since you asked." I smiled cheekily at him and he chuckled. To be honest he wasn't bad. I think he was the only from the slytherin team that was noce and calm. And a good friend.

"Am I interrupting something Enzo?" Mattheo came out of nowhere which startled me.

"Dude, what exactly are you? A vampire?!" Enzo said. Mattheo stayed quiet which was creepier. Enzo coughed and moved a bit away from my side.

"Come on, let's get going the others are waiting." Mattheo said and started walking away. Enzo gave me an apologetic smile and went to follow him. I stared at Mattheo for bit more, now fully realizing that he didn't even spared a glance at me. He didn't teased me. Nor he said all these stupid things about my hair or outfit or just say anything mean in general. I felt my heart heavy. I should be happy that now I wasn't his target, but for some odd reason...I want him to at least talk to me. Say anything.

___

I breathed in the fresh air up on the astronomy tower, and stared ahead where the view wad undeniably majestic. This place calmed me. There's something about the stars, the sky and the quirt up here that makes me want to stay for hours and hours.

Suddenly the door of the tower opened and revealed the last person I expected to see here. Mattheo stopped in his tracks for a moment and stared at me, but then it was like returned back to reality and closed the door so he can sit at corner away from the spot I was sitting.

I looked down at my lap, not being able to even look at him now. My heart was beating fast and I felt so stupid for letting him have this kind of effect on me.

I turned my head on his directions and admired the side of his profile. He looked conflicted and yet...at peace.

"Do I have something on my face, pixie?" This nickname. This nickname that I thought I hated but after I didn't hear him calling me that for days I admit that I missed it. I missed the way he calls me that.

"Um nope. No. Just..whatever." I murmured and stood from the ground. I leaned my elbows on the railings and stared ahead again. I could feel his state on me but I didn't dare look.

"Are you ok?" He suddenly asked.

"What-"

"I haven't had the chance to ask you myself after the accident and...I just want to know." He breathed out.

"I'm fine. I had a fast recovery and it's all thanks to Fred and the potion he gave me. It worked wonders after I left the infirmary." I added.

"Fred? What does Weasley had to do with anything?" He stood up.

"What? He helped me you know. He was there for mw to-"

"Fucking Weasley always getting in the way I see." He traveled his hand through his soft curls and I only stared.

"I don't you sometimes. You're treating me like shit, then you pretend you care, then you get made for no reason at all-"

"Oh I have a lot of reasons to go mad sweetheart." His voice rasped and he took a few steps closer to me. I chuckled in disbelief.

"This is ridiculous." I shook my head and wrnt to leave, but his hand around my arm stopped me.

"You know what's actually ridiculous?" He brought me closer to him. "That I had to spent days avoiding you just to stop myself for looking for you in every corner of this damn school. That I spent hours making this damn potion with the help of Mrs. Pomfrey because I had no idea what to do but I was desperate and wanted you to be healthy again. That I got upset whenever my friends had the chance to talk to you and make you smile in a way I couldn't. That I was a fucking coward for never picking up the courage to follow what my heart wants without putting any other obstacles in fron of me just to not make a fool of myself. Because in all fucking honesty, I'm not deserving of you." His breath was heavy as well as mine, an inch away from our lips touching and my body shook like I was about explode into fireworks.

"Mattheo, what- you were the one who wrote me this letter? And the potion?! why now? Why are you telling me all this now?"

"I realized that no matter what I do, no matter where I go and no matter how many times I'll try to deny it, my heart will only call your name. At first I had no idea what it was that I was feeling or why. But when I knew for sure, I stopped feeling scared to let this feeling consume. Let you consume me." His hand reluctantly reached for my face but stopped midair, like he was expecting for my ok. I carefully grabbed it myself and let it rest on my cheek. His hand was shaking a bit and he looked breathless for a moment.

"All this teasing. Was..."

"The only way I could express my...Love. I know that I was being a jerk and I can't begin to explain how I feel like I want a hole to open now and swallow me hole for even making you feel sad, eben for a second. But you if you want me just as much as I do, then I'm all yours."He admitted.

"I can't believe this happening right now." I whispered. He smiled slightly "Me neither." He rested his forehead on mine.

"I just want to stay like this for an eternity. With you, only with you like this." He mumbled and felt like I was on cloud nine. I couldn't stand it. Couldn't help it. I wrapped mt arms around his neck and joined our lips into a kiss that almost brought us both to our knees.

"Oh my goodness." He murmured against my lips and kissed me fiercely. His arms found place on my waist and he lifted me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

We pulled apart for a moment just to make sure that this was real. That me and him were here together, kissing each other.

"You're like painting that came to life." He stared at me in awe. My cheeks flushed with color and I rested my head on his shoulder. He grinned and smoothed down my hair.

"You're so adorable. See, that's the reason I call you pixie. You're Hogwarts pretty and adorable fairy."

"Mattheo, I can't believe you're actually this sappy." He pecked my nose.

"Only with you. No one gets to see me like this."

"Like what?"

"Like a love struck loser whose in love with the girl of his dreams." He leaned closer to kiss my forehead. I giggled and then realized that he was still carrying me.

"Mattheo you can let me down now-"

"Nope. I love having you in arms. I've been dreaming of this for months let me cherish it." He kissed me again and I grinned in the kiss.

"I love you. So so so so so much." He was llacing kissed all over my face and I laughed.

"I can't believe you're saying these words. But just to let you know, I love you, Mattheo." We both grinned at each other and he hugged me tight, not wanting to let go. Ever again.

So this is what it feels like being in love and to be loved.

I must say I'm proud of this one!! Hope you enjoyed reading 🙌

[mandalhoerian]

this has to have been discussed to the moon and back ever since forgotten sea has dropped, but with the addition of tears of romirro, i think there's an extra layer to be added on how open with his love and affections rafayel is now, compared to the indifferent (god of tides) and cold (lemurian sea god) attitude he had towards it. those are two radically different people to the romantic man he is currently.

forgotten sea was more about a burgeoning romance and the realization of it with his sacrifice in the end. you really felt that he was inexperienced and detached in a sheltered way, and opened up (the best he could anyway, with the limited time) towards the end of the myth. tears of romirro had him outright reject falling in love with her, but it also clinically revolved around the concept of "we have to fall in love with each other" and the biggest denial and obliviousness to it i've ever witnessed reading the entire thing. they were tiptoeing around each other UNTIL THE VERY END. there are a lot of reasons why. to give an example, he's fully reassured that she's genuinely in love until he realizes it's her (their) love that was powerful enough to seal him away.

but, until mc's very last moments he doesn't say the word "love" -- he says that he won't let their (lemurian) bond end this way. one thing is that the word "bond" is a localization and the real direct translation in the original is "contract"/"covenant". so, he literally can't say it even as she's dying with the biggest declaration of love to him there is.

and the most he gave her regarding verbalizing his feelings is this optional dialogue:

Rafayel : During the ceremony, your chants were filled with other people's words to the Sea God. They were not your own. Rafayel : Don't you want to tell me something? Maybe I can make a wish come true. Main Character : Then... I wish you could fall in love with me soon. Rafayel : That doesn't count. Main Character : Why? Is it very difficult for you? Rafayel : It's too easy. Rafayel : Think of a more ambitious wish.

and this one at the very end:

Rafayel : The place you hold in my heart far outweighs this little scale.

he also seriously answers "i'm not" when mc teases him for being embarrassed of them being in love in the past (which. they have no memories of.) there's also my interpretation about his line "You want to say something else?" in Mistsea Lament, which is him basically wanting to hear an i love you from her before he basically goes to die/fade away/slumber alone as he planned (we all know what happened instead... lmao...)

you get the gist of what he's doing.

it's not like he didn't know he loved mc. it's not like they weren't "together" during the end of tears of romirro. there was something between them, however pre-romantic relationship situationship type of pda zone it was, having accepted what they went through together in the past. none of them spelled it out. but also, it was a matter of knowing how the other felt about one another. it didn't last long, just as how it didn't in forgotten sea. rafayel never got to love mc properly -- or get to know 'love' itself. (getting flashbacks to intertidal zone and his crisis about associating art and love with pain like. man.)

the myth actually gives a glimpse into this from his pov. i thought the translation was a bit wonky, so i found the original chinese script and put it through google translate, and it was something along the lines of this:

He remembered the first time she had called out his name. With fingertips stained with both their blood, he wrote each character of his name into her palm, stroke by stroke. But even that could not intertwine his fate with hers along the lines of her palm so they would never have to face separation again.

(The original goes "Even so, He couldn't intertwine His fate with hers along the lines of her palm. In this way, they were spared from separation." which. does not make a lick of sense)

there has been so much anxiety on his part in this myth it's insane. but you know what this tells us? even with the lemurian bond between them, there's no classic, traditional soulmateism between these two. rafayel and mc weren't written in the stars, and even when rafayel wanted to intertwine their fates together, he couldn't. no room for divine intervention, even.

and mc broke their bond. that means he actually had to go look for her. choose her again, and bind himself to her. he did this in fragrant dream (which i actually think is a sequel to tears of romirro and tells the story of how the last sea god died/fell into slumber). he did it again in sea of golden sand.

it's BAFFLING to think about, actually. i know we'll get a more in-depth flashback in the future about how they really first met as children and if it was serendipity or not (PLEASE MAIN STORY UPDATE PLEASE), and that'll be an extra layer of recontextualization in the future. but i think it's safe to say there's nothing calling out to him, like, no magical connection before he finds her. it gives an entirely new context to his search for her in the main timeline. to think it was an actual SEARCH search and he had no leads for this kid who came to his rescue and dropped off the face of the earth afterwards. did he have her full name? did he draw her and distribute it like a missing person poster? he launched like a full on investigation. i love it precisely because rafayel's story is about defying prophecy and destiny -- that he chooses her willingly, even as she's the biggest obstacle against this godhood and divinity.

SORRY TO GO ON A TANGENT LIKE THIS but !!!! to dial it back, pre-main story rafayel is still the same cold, nonchalant person who is drifting through life without an "anchor" before he meets mc. he still has the mission of his people on his shoulders. it's not that out there to say his character doesn't align with his myth counterparts, though i would argue he's more similar to abysswalker. mc changes him and brings out a green part of him that yearns to live -- with her. that man puddle jumps, bubble wrap stomps and claw machine hypes because being with her reminds him that this is the first time and he always wanted to do these things -- with her.

so it really comes down to regret (SHOCKER, I KNOW. AS IF IT HASNT BEEN SAID A MILLION TIMES ALREADY), not making the same mistakes, wanting to live it to the fullest, and give mc what he wasn't able to give her before -- what they were denied, what could have been if they just had more time. make her know, make it known, open up, love and be loved, be known, despite the ominous stuff he knows is coming in the future. even if he doesn't have any memories, i believe those sentiments carried.

it really has to do with this quote: "no one will ever know the violence it took to become this gentle." -- but in this case, it's not violence and gentleness, but 'grief' and 'romantic'. it really took his love being taken away from him twice for rafayel to start clinging to it and romanticizing it.

[sevgilimsatoru]

Just read a pretty great drabble/fanfic about Caleb but the way he is described only as someone who cooks, cleans, provides for reader with his stamina being good and dick being big, just made me a little sick.

To me, Being in love would be like a feeling of returning home after a long time, spending time hanging out with old friends, sitting infront of a warm fireplace in the cold winter, cuddling up with your pet, the feeling that everything is going to be alright and no matter what happens, you'll be okay. That is what love is to me and that is why I am so attached to Caleb because he represents that.

Maybe it's just me because Caleb's character is literally my main and comfort character to the point that I haven't even bothered in doing/choosing other love interests for event games and other things.

I sometimes feel like people or some players of this game dumb the characters down in sexual/romantic context. I have seen plenty of stuff about Sylus being this dark romance male lead type of guy or Xavier being sleepy and lazy all the time to Caleb being described as a dog, which is not true at all.

There are multiple flaws and traits in the love interests of love and Deep space along with the MC that makes it such an interesting game for me and a lot of other people.

Maybe, I am being a hypocrite because I feel like in my fanfic about Caleb, he is very much portrayed as a comforting figure. And that is honestly my perception of Caleb atleast before the chip in his brain and everything. And because the game is very catered to women to express their sexuality.

That is in no way wrong but removing every aspect of a character so you could dumb them down to this caricature of thoughts and ideas to fulfill your fantasies just feels wrong.

I am not telling anyone to not be sexually/romantically drawn to these characters, because I myself am really attached but to at least make an effort to keep their core values and ideologies intact.

[ilyasorokinn]

Hi!! Could I please request an andrei svechnikov fic with him as a dad? Something of his son/daughter being born and it’s just a lot of fluff (feel free to ignore) 🤍🤍🤍

SOMETHING INCREDIBLE

GUYSSSSS this is the last blurb for this little celly!! thank you to everyone who sent things in! i'm sorry it literally took like 300 years. i love you all!!!! also, to whoever sent this in, i LOVEEE talking and writing my au families. they're my pride and joy, so i would always love to write about them!!

THE "MR. AND MRS. SVECHNIKOV" MASTERLIST

tw: kids/children

for the first time in a very long time, andrei svechnikov felt completely and utterly useless. he watched, his hand clutched in yours, not even wincing when you squeezed his hand, his brows pulled together in worry as you breathed through a contraction.

from the moment he had gotten to the hospital, he felt like everything was hitting all at once. even with nine months to prepare, he couldn't help but feel unprepared.

you finally blew out a breath and lenaed back on the bed, your eyes still closed. he watched, his brows furrowed together as he ran a hand through your hair.

"can i get you anything else?" his voice was filled with concern, and you could see it so clearly on his face.

"can you get him out of me?" you whined painfully, wincing and blowing out another breath. you opened your eyes and met his panicked ones, "i'm okay, there's nothing more you can do." you managed to flash him a comforting smile.

it didn't do anything to settle his nerves and only made him a bit more nervous. he nodded, and tried to breath through it, "are you okay?" you asked softly.

"i'm freaking out." you could hear it in his voice.

"me too," you nodded, "in a few hours, this kid is gonna be out of here, and we're gonna be parents." you paused, your words sinking in, "but we've got this." you squeezed his hand one more time.

"you're gonna be amazing," he smiled, kissing your head.

the next few hours, nothing slowed down. one second you were breathing heavy, and the next they were telling you to push. half an hour after they told you to push, a loud cry filled the hospital room.

"there he is!" the doctor annoucned, holding up the baby so you and andrei could both see him. he was covered in fluid, face red from screaming and cryibg, but he was here and perfect.

"andrei..." you were speechless and exhausted, craning your head up to look at andrei. he had to look away, wiping the tears in his eyes before he was back at your side.

"you big softy," you joked, glancing over to the corner of the room where doctors and nurses finished cleaning up your son.

"you're amazing, that was incredible." andrei was speechless as he watched over you. he pressed a long kiss to the top of your head, closing his eyes and feeling more tears spill.

after a few minutes, the little boy was wrapped in a baby blanket and placed gently on your chest. you and andrei said nothing as you stared down at the child.

he was small, much smaller than you had thought he would be. his eyes were open, and he was blinking up at you. his lips smacked together before he closed his eyes.

"oh, my..." you gaped in shock, running a finger across his cheek.

"perfect." andrei whispered, kissing your head once more.

almost three years later, you found yourselves in the same place in an almost identical room. andrei, now slightly more calm than he had been the first time, was sitting next to you, holding your hand and barely wincing when you squeezed his hand.

theodore svechnikov, now almost 2, was so excited to be a big brother. he wore his 'big brother' shirt with pride, and wore it every chance he could. he was at home with his grandparents (both your's and andrei's parents) and they were doing their best to keep him distracted.

it was true what they said that the second kid came out faster than the first. you had arrived at the hospital just after 6pm, and by 1am, anastasia svechnikov had arrived.

it was just after 3am. you had fallen asleep after having some food, and andrei had insisted you get some sleep. the hospital was quite, and all the lights were off except for a small lamp.

andrei had taken off his shirt and anastasia laid in his arms. she was awake, but barely. his finger ran over her soft cheek, mumbling words to her in russian. she let out a little sigh, smacking her lips together.

"mama and i have waited for you for so long. and so has your brother. oh, he's gonna love you so much." he smiled, pressing a small kiss to her head, "you're gonna meet him tomorrow. he might be a little loud." he smiled down at her, "we love you so much, my anya." he kissed her head once more.

the next morning, just after breakfast, you heard him before you saw him. a little boy came running down the hall, speaking loudly trying to find his mom and dad. fast footsteps tried to keep up with him, his grandparents trying to keep him from running too far and being too loud, but it was too late.

he finally found them, bursting into the room loudly, "mama! papa!" he squealed.

andrei caught him before he could jump near the baby basinet, picking him up and holding him to his chest. theo went quiet, leaning his head on his father's shoulder.

it had only been a few hours since he had seen them, but he was still your little boy. you smiled, nodding along the best you could as theo rambled about nonsense and everything that had happened in the few hours you hadn't been with him.

"theo, theo..." andrei tried to get his attention, and after a few more times of calling his name, theo finally stopped, "do you want to meet your sister?" he suddenly froze, and nodded, "all right."

he rounded the edge of the bed to where the baby bassinet was sitting. he simply looked down at her. he looked over to you, then up to andrei and pointed down.

"yeah, that's your sister," you nodded, smiling at him. theo's face was unreadable as he looked down at the baby. he reached down, gently pressing a hand to the blanket.

he reached up, and gently touched her face," sissy." theo nodded, as if he was accepting her, "like her." he stated.

"i'm glad, bud." you laughed, kissing his head and running a hand through his hair.

requests are open! (not for this celly)

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

I felt so vindicated when I found out that for some people, mindfulness and meditation actually make their depression and anxiety worse. So many people have pushed them onto me as if they'll solve all my problems and initially, I did try my best but I kept coming out of meditation literally feeling worse than when I started and that feeling lingering, including mediation sessions guided by someone else. People kept insisting I just didn't want to get better. I don't know why the idea that some approaches just don't work, or are outright harmful, for some people is so hard to grasp.

Genuinely like mindfulness/meditation exercises always made me feel worse, and yet I was constantly expected to participate in them. Finally hearing a psychiatrist say "well yeah that stuff isn't actually useful for a lot of schizophrenics" had me so furious about the amount of times I was forced to participate. But yeah it is in fact true that if your connection to your body/reality is already off, REALLY FOCUSING on interpreting said body/sense of reality/an imaginative journey etc might very well do more harm than good

[kevin-the-bruyne]

As literally the local 'most likely to be voted GMMTV simp' bringing to you pleasures such as let GMMTV make terrible shows and someone who thinks everything the above user has said is true - it misses something crucial here that *GMMTV* has specifically done which is have their CEO come out and declare this as the law of the land. full stop.

That changes things, that takes the balancing act that artists and creatives are doing totally out of the equation and hands every power into the hands of brands that care not even two licks of the actual creative process.

Now, I don't know how involved the above user is in the fandom spaces of the gmmtv artists but artists have been soliciting engagement for much much longer than this and already having them be in this balancing act has wreaked absolute havoc in fandoms now motivated once more by these capitalist drives.

Queerness is being clinicized, people have been coming after fanfic authors and other creatives for not representing their artists in the 'correct' way, queerness is being filed down more and more until now it seems like rainbow colored shirts, and sweet parents are the only standards we ever need to and more concerningly should strive to reach. This is happening to - as has been pointed out to artists and shows under literally any label and maybe not even uniquely to Thailand.

But GMMTV, the largest studio who's policies will change the entire landscape of the industry in a way that smaller studios will get very little say in - has uniquely in this instance just handed every power to the people and companies constantly trying to mold artists into their narrow vision as long as they have the dollars to back them up.

This is GMMTV saying oh things are bad? Well just watch them get so much worse! The CEO of the largest producer of queer shows in Thailand and maybe even the single largest producer of queer shows in the world has just declared audience ratings no longer matter. How viewers feel about their art no longer matters to them!!! That's a creative decision! He and his team decided that! they are choosing to put ratings aside because the engagement metric makes them more money. And somehow we are supposed to just nod along like that makes any sense for art!

So yes, I think people running GMMTV through the coals for making the absolutely worst possible creative decision in an already difficult creative landscape is entirely correct and I hope P'Tha loses a lot of sleep over this. EDIT: Apparently he said it in 2023 - oh so he is responsible!!! He really is responsible for the absolute DUMPSTER FIRE that fandom has been. This is why people who aren't even on twitter are being chased and harassed. Like you don't know how exponentially more angry I am that he passed out this law 2 years ago and it has done exactly that! fast-tracked all the horrible shit that one could imagine a stated policy like this would do!!! how are people still defending his right to say this after this shit has already tangibly fucked story quality, affected the health of actors, affected the well being of fans, increased the entitlement that wealthy fans feel to an actors time and personal space because they spent a lot of money - I do not know but you are more forgiving a person than i.

this is ridiculous. but its gmmtv. so why am i not surprised:

my biggest gripe with this is now that fans are the ones completely responsible for "trending" and "social media engagement" in order for these actors to have work, basically, and for their shows to air. that ...... is not the responsibility of a fan. how about you lot working on your awful script writing and story telling?? better managing your artists?? so, what? if Actor X doesn't get roles or jobs, then its on their fans? what kind of culture is this???

[jotctumb]

Fanfic and Asexuality

This is about asexuality in fanfiction and spefically in Murderbot, but it's about a bunch of personal stuff first.

I'm asexual. If anyone reads this who's interested or questioning, some resources I liked were:

The Am I Asexual? article on reddit/asexuality has some cool info, there are other sections on that subreddit's FAQ as well

"Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski was a fantastic primer on human sexuality in general. It's written for women but included a lot of info on men too. I read this some time back. There's a new edition out now, tbh I don't even remember if the older edition which I read even discusses asexuality but I still found it incredibly informative. I think of this book as giving the info we should all get as teenagers but usually don't.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen is full of stories about many different ways which asexual people engage with intimacy.

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown is good for broader societal issues.

There's other books that I read over the years, these are just the ones on my mind right now.

But back when I was figuring out my own stuff, I did not have any of these resources. Somehow I muddled on, as I'm sure ace people have done in many eras.

I'm not going to talk about my sex life or dating history (and let me take a moment to point out that you can't know based on what fiction I enjoy. I know a lot of people who loved the Titanic but no one who wants to be on a sinking ship.) What I will offer is a metaphor.

(cut for length)

Imagine you are told that when you hit puberty, you will develop the ability to see this magic color RazzleDazzlePop. And on the one hand it's not a big deal. The world is full of other colors. But on the other hand, there are a million songs and stories about how seeing this color is both the most fun anyone can have ever, and the deepest expression of love and union. Oh but if you do it at the wrong time you can get pregnant, and your religious upbringing says that abortion is murder. Oh, also don't forget, you can literally get murdered if you let your guard down and even think about seeing RazzleDazzlePop with the wrong person. If you get murdered it will be YOUR fault for not being more careful. Or you can catch various terrifying diseases.

So there's a lot going on. You can see how, even without any other factors like trauma or sensory issues, people might end up with very complicated feelings about RazzleDazzlePop. That's true even for allosexuals. And if you can never see this magic color, different people might have a very broad range of feelings about it all.

It took me a while to figure things out. And once I had the basics down, there were still layers that unfolded over time. And while I was still pretty deep in that confusion, I read this one story.

Before then, I'd read a bunch of stories about ace characters, actually. They typically didn't speak to me. There was often this double-whammy. First the ace person knew exactly what they were like they popped out of the womb knowing exactly which box they fit into. How??? Second, the ace person would just absolutely hate themself and feel utterly unworthy of love because of being born ace.

Not only did it not resonate, these things didn't even seem to go together. If a person hated being ace so badly, why wouldn't they poke at that a little? Why wouldn't they ask, why am I this way? Will I always be this way? If I can't help it and was born this way, then it's not something to be ashamed of, right?

But nope. And please understand I am NOT taking potshots at these stories. I actually loved a lot of them. I just didn't connect to them on a personal level. They didn't help me gain any insight into myself.

But then there was this one story. Everyone in it was messy and questioning. A full smorgasbord of dysfunction before you ever even got to sex, and everyone was dysfunctional about sex too. Also, this story was so explicit, I cannot even describe how much sex was in it. Sometimes I skip sex but if I skipped the sex in this story I think there would have been no story. And in this story, an ace person's loved ones kept telling him that he wasn't really ace. One of them (with best of intentions) found a therapist (who was otherwise helpful) to also tell this guy he wasn't ace. Meanwhile the ace guy was trying to master sex, the better to win over the person he wanted to be life partners with. There was SO much stuff in this story that could potentially trigger people.

And yet. This story spoke to me. It blew my mind apart and when I put it back together, something in me was settled. I was happier with who I was than I ever had been before. Why? Because at the end of this long and messy saga, the ace character remained himself. He was a particular way and he was not going to change.

This is why I support varied and complex interpretations of asexuality in fanfiction. I don't just see it as a live-and-let-live thing. I see stories that wrestle with ace identity in ways that are not neat and tidy as actually doing good.

Recently I started reading Murderbot fanfic. I'm not new to the series but I'm new to online fandom. At first I wasn't even sure I wanted to read "shippy" fic, not because I objected but just because I heard this fandom is awesome for appreciating gen works and I wanted to participate in that. In some fandoms, gen works can get ignored just for being gen.

But curiosity won out, and also I generally like shippy fic. What I've found as once I started reading the shippy material was a whole range of stories which engage with ace identities in such a fascinating variety of ways! In fact, I'm kind of glad I read the Angela Chen book and THEN found the fandom, because sometimes I read these stories and I'm like, "That's like in the book when--"

There's a subset of fans that don't want any romance in their fic, and triply don't want any kind of sexual content, even if it's metaphorical, like interacting in the feed. I get that, and it seems to me that this is one fandom which might benefit from more people making fic recs.

They used to be more common, but they fell out of favor at some point, maybe because they can trigger jealousy or hurt feelings. Murderbot is one fandom where honestly nobody needs recs based on story quality, because the average story is just so good. But I think there's room for recs based on content, helping fans find stories they like. Of course AO3 also has tags but sometimes a rec can communicate the "vibe" of the story in a different way.

I've also seen the occasional hostile comment, and these sting. Usually I don't care but in this case I've read really hostile things from authors I admire, who are also asexual. That just hits in a different way. Hopefully most people will want to live and let live.

Happy reading everyone!

[mikhaelwrites]

Dog-sitting Duty | Thunderbolts x Superman 2025 headcanons

Might be some spoilers for Superman 2025! I don't mention any plot stuff but I can't remember how much Krypto was talked about / shown in the trailer or teasers. i dont think any major spoilers. but definitely spoilers for thunderbolts*. obviously.

For some reason or another, Thunderbolts have to watch Krypto

Is this a good idea? No, not at all. But Krypto is basically indestructible so at least they can't kill him--the same can't be said for the Thunderbolts themselves of course

Alexei is actually the one that volunteers them to watch Krypto. he has no interest in actually taking care of the dog, he just thinks Krypto is adorable and he's fun to wrestle with.

he gets his ass kicked repeatedly by the dog and, even though sometimes it takes him a while to get back up, when he does he swears this will be the time he wins (spoiler: nope)

(and maybe, secretly. he offers the Thunderbolts up for babysitting duty because he's honored. honored that someone such as Superman would recognize them. that he, a washed up russian super soldier, was somehow on Superman's radar. even for just a second. maybe it makes him feel important, noticed, appreciated. Superman's thank you so earnest and true it felt like a touch from heaven)

Walker hates all of this, annoyed and scoffing, "Well, don't expect me to help take care of him."

yeah. well. yk that meme where someone brings home a cat or a dog and the dad is like, im not taking care of it >:( and then proceeds to fall in love with the animal and do literally everything in their power to take care of it?

John proceeds to set out water bowls, leaves all the doors open so Krypto can wander, makes Krypto some quality dog food, puts on the TV so Krypto isn't bored during downtime, uses his shield as a frisbee for Krypto to catch (he has to make a new one anyways, might as well find some use for it, right?)

John won't say it out loud--but this is the first time in a long time he's been able to take care of something, and he's trying to prove something to himself.

out in the desert, he told Ava and Yelena that the key to a happy family was to "keep going at it, every day" and he was right about that, even if he'd actually failed to do it

he isn't ready to get back to his family, to be the father his kid needs. he isn't there yet. he isn't ready to keep going at it every day.

but maybe… maybe if he can take care of one stupid dog, just for a few days, then maybe he can prove to himself that he can do it

Ava does not like the dog. He's too loud, too overstimulating, too violent, poorly trained.

She avoids the dog at all costs

Until one day, exhausted and in pain, she falls asleep with her door open.

When she wakes up, she feels… warm. And the pain isn't gone but its certainly not as terrible as she was expecting

she opens her eyes and there he is, Krypto. wagging his tail as he lays across her chest.

"hi" she says, bringing her hand hesitantly up to scratch at his ears. she's worried that the wrong move will send Krypto bounding around the room, using her chest as a fucked up trampoline.

instead, he just licks at her arm and then plops his head right back down and lays there.

she's still in pain, that wont change, but Krypto's warmth, his weight, makes the sharp edges of that pain dull.

Yelena is… neutral about Krypto. he's sweet. adorable, really. poorly trained, sure, but aren't they all?

she simply doesn't know what to do with him whenever he pops up

she'll chat with him, as she passes by, or whenever he comes into wherever she is

it starts simply, really. just a few passing comments, "hello Krypto," or "is that a yummy shoe, dog?" or simple reactionary comments, "i know, how boring is that?" "i dont like it either, Krypto"

then she ends up alone with Krypto a lot more than she meant to, and those comments turn into conversation

"i dont see the appeal in Sitcoms, this might just be a me thing" "yes, exactly, Krypto. they're all very childish"

simple, silly things at first.

then.

"i had a dog once," she strokes from the top of his head to the end of his back. scratching at the point where his tail starts, "she didnt live for very long. she wasnt supposed to. she wasn't really mine, she was theirs. she didn't have a name, besides a number. i called her [insert russian dog name]. she's dead now"

evolving into,

Yelena tries to keep the watery tone out of her voice, "i've killed a lot of people, i've caused a lot of pain. so much. how--my dad wants me to forgive myself, how am i meant to do that if i can't even? say it? say their names? describe their faces? say how they died, how i killed them?"

Krypto turns into her way of confession. a way to look into the eyes of something living, something breathing, and tell them what exactly she has done

there will always be a weight on her chest, always a fine layer of guilt and regret and shame, but something unravels, uncoils itself from her chest as she tells stories upon stories of her deeds.

its not perfect. but it works. and thats what matters

Bucky didn't wanna deal with this dog from the start. he prefers the calmness that comes with his cat, Alpine. dogs were never really his thing

so, he ignores Krypto completely. avoids rooms that he's in, ignores the nudging of a wet nose against his hand as he walks by, doesn't blink when Krypto yelps and barks and woofs for attention

Krypto must take offense because, as soon as he possibly can, he snatches Bucky's metal arm

thankfully, no one else is around to see what happens next

"god damnit stupid fucking dog" he pants as he runs around the tower chasing after Krypto, "why did i ever let you in? shoulda fucken told Alexei to watch you somewhere other than here if he wanted you so damn badly"

eventually, he gets the arm back

but it keeps happening

not just the arm, either. anything. anything bucky's holding or using or messing around with. Kyrpto will snatch it up and run away, leaving Bucky to chase after the unruly thing

Bucky hates to admit it, but at some point, he stops being annoyed and starts feeling… fulfilled.

when he became Congressman, he did it because he wanted to do some good. but it left him feeling… antsy. unused. washed up.

everyone kept telling him that he was finally free, that he could settle down, that he never had to see another day of combat in his life. Bucky would always be grateful to be free, to no longer be forced to harm people, made into someone--something--else.

but dear god, did he miss it. he was trained to do so much. he was capable of so much and he didn't want to stop now. Bucky didn't want to stop moving, didn't want to settle down.

he spent too much time as the Winter Soldier, using his trained skills for evil. but now he wanted to use it for something good--or, even… just something simple. something useless. something silly. something just for himself. something with no stakes.

like chasing a superpowered dog around.

he did want to settle down, some. he wanted to help, he wanted to use his abilities, these bloodied hands, for something good. but most of all he wanted to reckon with everything he'd become, allow Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes to become one. for so long there had been a dissonance, the Winter Soldier a towering shadow at his back.

now, as he scaled walks and leaped from spot to stop, he felt as though he was finally whole again. the constant itching under his skin, the shadow on his back, the weight of guilt on his shoulders, gone

maybe Krypto wasn't all that bad.

Bob and Krypto are immediately best friends as soon as Krypto realizes that Bob is just as indestructible as his owner is

literally the exact scene of Supergirl getting slammed into the ground repeatedly by Krypto but Bob is COMPLETELY sober

pets are good for mental health so Krypto actually helps quite a lot to support Bob---so much so that Superman offers to drop Krypto off every once and a while for Krypto and Bob to hang out (in one part because he always wants to help, the other part being that he's just happy to get this insane dog out of his hands)

the team, though they love Krypto, immediately go "NO" and then, "We'll bring Bob to you…….. (please god do not leave us with this dog again)"

teeny bit of sentryagent because im a whore for this pairing

bob insisting on spoiling the dog with whatever food/treats John has made for Krypto and John going, "no, the dogs already poorly trained enough as it is." and bob just :( and John folds Immediately

john, despite how wild and unruly Krypto is, always takes a sort of gentle tone with the dog whenever he thinks no one is watching. this dog could probably break him in half but john treats Krypto, almost… like a baby. bob definitely does NOT feel some type of way about that… not at all…

very silly but imagine. accidental flying lessons. bob latches onto krypto as he starts flying around, and krypto escapes the tower. john proceeds to be the only one able to keep up with them (via using his super serum strength to hop buildings) as Krypto and Bob fly around the city

maybe…. bob is still getting a grasp on his powers atp but then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees john slip and plummet towards the ground. out of instinct, almost, he's there. holding john midair, "woah! okay! maybe we stay on solid ground from now on, okay, big guy?"

john does not swoon. definitely not. (insert him screaming into his pillow later that night and giggling and kicking his feet)

[irlshadowheart]

the extra ingredient in the cauldron: additives for your affirmations

do you often get stuck on the question of 'how am i going to get this'? do you often worry about the so-called 'logic' of manifestations? well, my dear, let me introduce you to my little friend, additives!

additives are quite literally just small sayings you add to your affirmations to make them more powerful. you see them everywhere, like when we say "i'm extremely wealthy" or "i am literally so popular."

my favorite additives are the ones that help us combat the side of our brain that requires logic and reasoning since that's often where a lot of people start to waver or feel anxious when manifesting. i call them the 'because additives,' since they literally entail making up random reasons for why our affirmations work.

here's my favorites:

"...because i said so."

"...because it's a fact, and i know it's true."

"...because it's just the truth."

ex. "my hair is so wavy because i said so."

"i have so much money because it's a fact, and i know it's true."

"sp loves me because it's just the truth."

try them out! i hope these help in making your affirmations easier to digest, especially for those of us with brains that are a bit more on the feistier side (lol)

happy trails, my friends...

[bloodandiron-if]

How would the ROs react to an MC who is stoic?

I'm wondering who would like a Stoic MC 🤔

All of them would. The ROs like the MC for who they are—so be exactly who the hell you want to be 😌

You’ll basically see their reactions in the story, but I’ll give a tease of how they will react due to the MCs stoicism.

- - -

⚠️ CONTENT INCOMING ⚠️

- - -

OPERATIVE D-6

D-6 doesn’t just tolerate stoicism—they understand it.

In early interactions with them, D-6 might not make the first move, but they’ll watch the MC closely. If the MC offers even the slightest emotional break—eye contact that lingers, a touch that doesn’t pull away—D-6 will lock onto it like a lifeline.

To them, a stoic MC is someone strong enough to hold all the pain without breaking. And someone like that?

That’s sacred.

They’ll like it very much. Might even fall harder because of it.

- - -

DETECTIVE JUNO REYES

Juno would be infuriated… and also intrigued.

They’re used to reading people, pinning tells, pushing buttons, it’s literally their job. But a stoic MC? A closed off face with no give? That’s a challenge. And Juno loves a challenge.

At first, they might snap a little, given the fact that they already hate you, saying something along the lines of: “What, nothing to say?” But underneath, the gears are turning.

They want to crack that mask, see what’s underneath. If a stoic MC ever lets their guard down even once—just a smirk or a softened look—Juno will treat it like a victory. And they'll remember it forever.

Truly they’ll be frustrated at first—then later on, very into it.

- - -

NICO/NIA RUSSO

It really depends on your relationship status with them—but in a general sense? It messes with them. They might think MC’s judging them, or doesn’t like them (this could very much be true).

They’ll talk twice as much to fill the silence, tossing jabs and jokes just to get anything back. But if the MC stays cool, steady, unbothered? Russo will starts to adjust.

Eventually, they’ll start to find comfort in that calm.

And if a stoic MC ever gives them a genuine smile? They’ll shut up real quick. Because now they know: it really means something.

Honestly? They didn’t think they would like it—they'll end up craving it in the end.

- - -

KIERAN/KIERA MYLES

Myles, as you know is a very calculating person. They like knowing where everyone stands—and a stoic MC is a wild card. No tells. No giveaways.

That said. They respect it. Immensely.

Myles will speak in careful half-truths, testing reactions. A flinch here. A breath there. And if the MC gives them nothing? They’ll file that under dangerous. And they’ll like it.

They’ll love it a lot—but only if they’re also taken seriously.

- - -

ALEX/ALEXI MONROE

Monroe is gentle, creative, a little unsure of themself.

A stoic MC can be… intimidating (even more so if your Intimidation Meter is high)

They might assume MC doesn’t like them at first.

They might apologize too much. But if the MC stays kind, even in their silence—Monroe will warm up fast.

They’ll start to admire that steadiness. To depend on it. When their own anxieties creep in, a stoic MC feels grounding to them. Eventually, they’ll learn to read the MC’s small cues like body language, tone, or even just the way they look at them.

Liking a stoic MC? Yes, of course —once they realize stoic doesn’t always mean cold—but even then they’d still somehow like you for that.

- - -

ROWAN/RHEA CARTER

Carter’s strong, intense, and doesn’t play subtle.

At first, they might mistake stoicism for cockiness or indifference. They’ll try to provoke the MC, bark at them, even bait them into reacting—just to test their grit.

But when the MC doesn’t flinch? When they just take it without blinking? Carter’s respect goes throughh the roof.

They stop trying to get a rise and start trying to earn the MC’s trust. If a stoic MC ever quietly backs Carter in a fight—or helps without asking for credit—it’ll stick with them. That’s loyalty. And Carter doesn’t take that lightly.

A little skeptical at first—but no doubt will start loving it. They’ll want to be your tank partner for life.

[iamdeltas]

One thing I see pop up in a lot of Agathario fics that kind of confuses me is the depiction of Rio as the nerd in the relationship. I could get behind a nerd4nerd kind of depiction of their dynamic (goes along with their matching each other's freak) but that's not usually what I see. Typically, it's a lot of Rio being a nerd (about plants or dinosaurs or video games or whathaveyou) and Agatha being bemused but also amused by it.

I'm not trying to start shit or yuck other people's yum. I mean honestly, I feel like I don't have much room to talk here since I don't write fic! So please feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt! Please do not come into my inbox to yell at me for telling people how to write their fics because I will cry!

But yes, I find this pretty odd, mostly because... IMO, there is more canonical proof for Agatha being a nerd than for Rio being a nerd. (And I'm talking strictly canon and implications from canon here. I'm not talking about purely fanon stuff because that's, frankly, pretty much made-up by fans and has no canon basis. And, again, that's fine, but that's not what I'm interested in talking about here.)

To be pedantic, and also because honestly the definition of what a nerd is very vague, I shall, in cliche fashion, refer to the dictionary definition.

From Oxford Languages:

1) a person who is extremely enthusiastic and knowledgeable about a particular subject, especially one of specialist or niche interest.

2) an unfashionable person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious.

From the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

1) a person devoted to intellectual, academic, or technical pursuits or interests

2) an unstylish or socially awkward person

So basically, I'm looking for evidence of Agatha and Rio being either extremely interested in and knowledgeable about a particular subject, evidence of them being highly intellectual, or evidence of them being dowdy and lacking social skills. (I don't really think either of them fit the latter definition though TBH. Sure, Rio lacks social skills, but she's not exactly unfashionable or boring.)

I shall enumerate the evidence in list form:

Proof of Agatha's nerdiness:

1) She's so curious, especially about magic, that her coven tried to kill her about it. She was declared to be executed for seeking "knowledge above her station," plus Word of God says one of the reasons her original coven saw her as evil was her insatiable curiosity.

2) She literally went into Wanda's Hex because she wanted to find out how the magic running it worked. You could argue that she wanted to find out for utilitarian purposes how to resurrect the dead like Wanda resurrected Vision so that Agatha can resurrect Nicky; however I don't think she actually does want to bring Nicky back (otherwise why would she not want to see him in the afterlife and instead go ghost?) And she also was exploring all aspects of the Hex, including how far the illusions went. Is she interested in doing a sitcom Hex? Of course not. But she wants to know how Wanda did it, just for the sake of knowing.

3) Obviously she wanted Wanda's power, but if that was all she was after, she'd have just forced her out of her illusion and pestered her into blasting her on day 1. Instead she took time to poke around the Hex and then tried to force Wanda to tell her how she did it. When she found out she had no idea how she did it, to her chagrin (classic D&D Wizard vs D&D Sorcerer), she went through great lengths to find out how and to check if her hypothesis about Wanda being the Scarlet Witch was true.

4) She's got magic artifacts, magic scrolls, and potion ingredients along with the Darkhold stashed in her bewitched basement. (Also skulls, for some reason. What the fuck, Agatha?) She might have more that we don't see on screen. This magic basement seems to be something she is able to use to keep her magic stuff in, which seems to indicate that this is important to her. Also all the magic scrolls seem to indicate that she collects a good deal of magic knowledge. I think there's also at least one other magic tome seen on screen in the basement besides the Darkhold.

5) This one's more shaky since I'm veering here to give proof of her being a theater nerd, but there is something to be said about her making up her own villain song, as well as basically improv-ing her way through the sitcom Hex by being the funniest bitch there.

6) She ends up teaching Wanda magic even when it's against her own benefit to do so! She just can't help it. Seeing someone not even know magic fundamentals just makes her need to correct them.

7) It's telling that when she is able to take control of the Hex spell she's under, she makes herself a detective. Part of that is due to her worldview of everyone having darkness in them and her wanting to find it, but part of that is because she likes solving mysteries! She creates a mystery for herself to solve partially to pull herself out of the Hex and partially because solving puzzles is enrichment for her!

8) Rio's endeared look when listening to Detective Agnes rant passionately about the ins and outs of small town mysteries makes me really think Rio has heard Agatha go on frequent passionate rants about subjects she's really interested in (magic) many times before.

9) TV Tropes pointed this out, but Agatha acting like a hilarious Dirty Coward in the first trial was an act. It was a way for her to surreptitiously check the limits of Billy's Hex by selling it as part of her being so cowardly she wants to try anything to run away. Which shows more of her inquisitive nature. She just has to know everything about this new Hex that she's in.

10) She was the one to figure out that Lorna Wu's song was a protection ballad. Protection magic is not her branch of magic but she's learned enough about it to be able to identify that.

11) Like she did with his mother, Agatha asks Billy how he did a special magic thing, in this case, how the heck he got another body. It's not relevant to her (as far as she knows) but she still wants to learn how he did it! And she's once again disappointed to find that he doesn't know shit.

12) She also teaches Billy magic by helping him put Tommy's soul into a body. There were likely other ways to get off the Road, and it might not have been in her best interest to get Billy off the Road until she leaves since he's the architect of it. But she did it anyway partially to piss off her wife and partially because she likes teaching magic a lot.

13) I'm trying to avoid using purely Word of God here, but I figure it's worth mentioning that Jac Schaeffer has said that the two things that drive Agatha are self-interest and powerful witchcraft. Not purely power (though don't get me wrong, that is still a significant drive for her), but powerful witchcraft, which says a lot about how important magic and spellcasting is to her.

Proof of Rio's nerdiness:

1) She referenced Pride and Prejudice when turning up at Agatha's doorstep with pizza. This indicates she's probably into classic literature. She might be a Jane Austen fan, which is pretty neat.

2) She grew a flower for Agatha so she likes plants.

3) Her Green Witch outfit on the Road has a lot of plant details on it. I'm assuming she chose the outfit since on the Road proper (as opposed to in the trials) everyone else seems to have whatever outfit they had worn themselves before entering the Road. That does make me think plants are a significant interest for her.

4) She is socially weird and off-putting around the rest of the makeshift coven in episode 4. According to the latter definition of nerd per the Oxford and Merriam-Webster dictionaries, someone being socially awkward makes them a nerd.

5) She turned Agatha's body into flowers and fungi so she likes plants and fungi.

I'm really not trying to be facetious here, but that's all I've got in terms of proof of Rio being a nerd.

Honestly the main reason for this post is to give more proof that Agatha is a total nerd and I need this to be acknowledged more!

[bambisturniolos]

Ventriloquist — track one.

summary: will calms down your anxieties before you’re a bridesmaid at your best friend wedding.

warnings: mentions of anxiety (obviously), use of y/n, almost cringey fluff😓

a/n: hi angels! this is the first part to my don’t tell the dog writing marathon! i really hope you enjoy 💜

It was finally the night of your best friend of 10 years’ wedding day. She begged you for months to be her maid of honour, but you got too nervous so you settled for bridesmaid. It wasn’t as if that made you less nervous, in full honesty you were more nervous. She told you it was a big wedding, over 100 people. All you tried to do was push these anxieties down instead of just taking them straight on. But your head was always filled with “everyone’s gonna be looking at me.” and that was what made you the most nervous of all. What if you tripped and everyone just started laughing?

“Y/n?” Will say’s snapping his fingers in front of your face. “Did you hear me?” he asks with a confused and concerned expression. “Oh..no what is it?” you reply slowly, snapping out of whatever trace you were in. “I said we need to start getting ready. It’s already 8am.” he replied with a small sigh, obviously already stressed out for the day ahead. You decide to just go for a quick shower to blow off some steam before you get ready.

As you’re doing your makeup Will sneaks up behind you. “Are you doing okay?” he asks in a concerned tone as he snakes his hands around your waist. “Mhm.” you decide to mutter back, there was no point in trying to explain everything. Maybe he would just think you’re embarrassing. “Are you sure? You can tell me anything you know?” he had a small frown on his face now, trying to ignore the small pit in his stomach. He felt lied to. He knew something was up but you were just refusing to tell him. “Im just nervous.” you replied. I mean it was truthful, you were nervous. But this was on a whole different level. You had never felt the pain in your chest like you did today.

As you’re on your way to the venue in a small black taxi, everything just crumbles down on you. Your anxiety has never been this high before. Will just rubs your thigh softly, trying to ignore the horrible feeling he has about today. You had barely spoken a word. Just mutters. He felt almost left out, as if you didn’t trust him. But that wasn’t true. You trusted him with your whole life, but you didn’t want to freak him out with your anxiety bullshit. Your hands were shaking a lot by this point — you just couldn’t seem to get it to stop. And then your leg starts bouncing. “Please tell me whats wrong.” Will pleads quietly. You try hard not to cry, everything was so overwhelming already and you hadn’t even gotten there yet.

“Im really scared.” you answer truthfully. “About what?” He replies rubbing slow circles on your knee. “That everyone is gonna stare at me and laugh.” You say. Will just stared at you for a few minutes. “I promise you they won’t. Even if they do. I’ll still think you’re the prettiest person in the room.” He replies with his full chest. It felt like a small weight was off your shoulders until you remember you have to do a speech. “What about my speech though. What if i mess it all up.” Tears were filling your eyes by this point. Your head was just filled with what if’s.

“Then you mess it up.” He replies with a small kiss to the top of your head. “Let them laugh, darling. I promise everything will be okay.”

As you arrive at the venue, your best friend spots you immediately. “Y/n! Ive been looking literally everywhere for you.” She says brightly, Will smirks slightly at you before going to find one of his friends.

As the ceremony starts, you and one of the groomsmen walk down the aisle slowly. Your head was just filled with what Will told you. He thought you were great. That was all that mattered to you. You look straight ahead, trying to ignore all of the staring people and just keep going.

“But i’ll, make this walk look easy,

Make today look easy,

Make it all look easy,

For you.”

By the end, Will walks up to you. “I told you that you could do it.” He says with a proud smile on his face before pulling you in for a gentle hug. You decided not to do your speech. You knew it was going to be too much. Your best friend understood. She knew about your anxieties and knew that you can often have panic attacks.

Will stayed by your side for the rest of the night.

The rest of the DTTD writing marathon here