#notes in the margins; creator talks

[curiousascuriouscanbe]

Strangely possessed to draw March recently, here's a small snippet of his gender journey via clothes

Images 1 + 2 are him ages 16-17 - still trying to live the life his family expected of him, but still secretly wearing something a bit more masculine when his parents are out of the home/at night/etc

Image 3 is him at 19, firstly arrived in Wonderland to move into his new home after his less than wanted leave of home. (the satchel also has a ham sandwich in it, naturally)

Image 4 is him at 18, his first real day as March (as he'd call it.) The start of a tenuous year where he was out, but his parents still expected him to run "through this phase" and return to who they wanted him to be.

[notjustjavierpena]

Applied Physics pt. i

Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: Long awaited smutty piece with a planned sequel. I hope you enjoy, ya filthy animal 💅🎀💖

Summary: It’s the 60s, you’re three weeks behind on a deadline, and your professor, Doctor Reed Richards, makes you face the consequences. 

Pairing: Reed Richards x f!reader/you (no y/n)

Tags: College student/teacher relationship, science talk, Reed has powers, dub con, spanking, dom/sub dynamics, implied dacryphilia, dirty talking, sub drop, aftercare, stern Reed 🥵

Word count: 5.7k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62948440/chapters/161199763

Applied Physics

Dr. Reed N. Richards always wears a tweed jacket with elbow patches that show off his broad shoulders and give him an irresistible swagger. He teaches physics at your college part-time - when he is not out saving the world - and he is equally terrifying as he is warm, a combination of traits that you have learned can actually coexist but only after meeting him. 

You have been wanting him since he walked into the classroom that morning many months ago, carrying a black leather binder seemingly filled with little to nothing since everything appears to be stored in his brain. 

He has standards, you find, and traditional ways of doing things that somehow emphasize his love for the delicacy of science. For instance, he only grades papers with a fountain pen and therefore expects every assignment to be handwritten instead of done on a typewriter which is tedious and difficult for those who don’t possess a steady hand. The scary part of him comes out when he says he simply won’t grade the papers that aren’t turned in as he wants them to be. The warm part shows itself when he later makes a self-deprecating joke about knocking over whiskey during his grading. 

The idea of the paper smelling like his cologne or even, if you are lucky, has a stain of his favorite liquor, makes you hand in each assignment whilst the ink is still drying on the paper. Perhaps you will be the first one to receive notes and feedback from him if you turn in your work before its deadline.

You imagine him hunched over a desk, pen barely able to fit in his rough hand. He wears something casual, maybe even has taken off that jacket, scratching his beard and sipping his drink whilst smiling to himself as he reads words that come from your mind. Your mind makes him smile to himself, makes him single you out from the rest of your class because you are special and he knows this. It’s the image you imagine the first time you come whilst thinking about him, shower head between your thighs and legs against the tiled wall in the shared bathroom at the boarding house you reside in. 

When you do finally get your first essay back from him, you read all the comments in the margins during your lunch. You lick a drop of juice from an apple away from your lower lip as your eyes skim over a scribbled good or well done, trying to find an excuse to read more into the way he looks at you when you talk during class. You made him laugh once, that must mean something, right? He clearly has your sense of humor, the same ways of applying theory and reasoning. 

You know that it is hardly rational what you are doing, projecting all these things onto him when, in reality, you only know of him what you have seen during his lectures and office hours. Yet you have found yourself noticing the way he smiles faintly when you correct one of your fellow students during group work, and it has spurred you on to become even more insufferable to your classmates only to get his attention. His approval too, if you are lucky. 

Yet despite all this, here you are with an assignment running three weeks late, your procrastination having reached its limits and your excuses to your professor wearing thin. It’s a challenging state to be in when you’re so used to ranking your popularity with Dr. Richards higher than everyone else on this course. Sure, his attention is nice when it is rooted in praise but you don’t know if the kind that will follow this lecture, the deadline you’d agreed upon for your paper being yesterday, is the kind that will satisfy something in you like the small smiles have. 

You keep bouncing your leg beneath your desk as you wait for Dr. Richards to enter the lecture hall with that cool aura about him and let the fast-paced lecture begin. If anyone sees you, they will recognize it as an itching to suck up to him once more but in reality, it is the first time you’ve been in the room with a nervous tic. 

“Good afternoon, everyone,” he greets as he finally arrives and you find yourself jolting with nerves at the fact that he is finally here and inevitable doom is just around the corner. It doesn’t make it better that his brown eyes sweep over the crowd in a hurry until he spots you, his gaze full of concentration until he gains eye contact with you for less than a second. You sit up straighter at the way he measures you and the subconscious movement of your leg stills completely. Frustratingly, the man keeps talking as if nothing happened. 

After several attempts to regain your composure, you realize that you have completely missed his introduction to today’s lecture and while trying to ignore the thrill that is simmering beneath your anxiety, you scramble to start taking notes. It’s not to show him that you can go back to being his favorite student but rather a necessity to keep yourself from being three weeks further behind.

You power through the lecture even with your fuzzy mind, scribbling things down and making sure to appreciate the privilege it is to be taught by one of the greatest minds to ever live. This is even if he, multiple times, falls into the usual pattern of diving headfirst into multi-layered explanations of different phenomena and concepts, droning on as if none of you and the rest of your classmates exist to him anymore. 

You pretend to keep up when he does this but even you must admit that he loses you. However, you know for a fact that it is not out of disinterest that you stop listening but rather your mind focusing on something else when his words become too difficult to follow. Instead, you end up mapping out the length of his gorgeous neck, the beauty spot where his collar ends. It is enough to leave your mouth dry, but not enough to drag your mind off the scolding you’ll get soon.

When the lecture comes to an end, you have psyched yourself enough to stupidly get up and try to follow the rest of the students out. They trickle out hurriedly though and you find yourself at the back of the school of people heading for the door. 

“Hold it right there,” Reed’s voice travels through the room and hits you right in the back, making you falter in your step. Your last name rolls off his tongue with the same kind of confidence and composure that you’d tried to conjure up just an hour ago. 

“Sir, I was just—“ you rest your hand on the doorknob to signal that you are leaving but you know already that you have lost the fight to exit the room. 

You hear it before you see it; the faint and strange rustling of fabric as something wooshes closer. Suddenly, your teacher’s stretched-out arm moves past you like you have seen it do on television and then his hand attached to said arm splays flat on the door. He closes it with a soft click while you hold your breath. 

Slowly, it retracts back to normal and you follow it with your eyes by glancing over your shoulder. Time stands still for a moment at the sight because while Reed Richards has stretched his body multiple times in the past, without much thought behind it and much to his students' shock, he never puts anyone in the position to experience it firsthand. 

“Sir, I—“

“Come here,” he says quietly. 

You grab the strap of your bag tightly and make your way to the desk where he sits. You decide to beat him to his reprimand, talking even if your voice shakes at his disapproving stare, “I’m sorry I missed this week’s deadline.”

“This week? Try the last three,” he calmly corrects you, “You have done your research on force, impact, and energy transfer in non-elastic collisions, have you not?”

“Yes, of course.”

“And you’ve still not turned anything in? Why?”

“I've been overwhelmed with coursework and–” You trail off when he raises a brow. He is still sitting down but even so, you feel like you are shrinking underneath his authority. You find it hard to believe that anything out your mouth right now will be taken seriously when you have let him down three times already but you try to reassure him anyway, “It won’t happen again, I promise,”

“No, it won’t,” he agrees as he pushes himself to stand. He drags the chair away from the table as if he thinks it is in his way, “You’re brighter than most, so I don’t believe I need to remind you what happens if you keep slacking.”

“No, sir, I’m aware.”

“I mean, we’ve already moved way past force dynamics and energy exchange on this year’s curriculum, so you’re wasting my time,” he goes on with an annoyed sigh that tells you he has better things to do, “What am I supposed to do with you?”

“I don’t know, sir,” you stare at the flooring.

“Come closer,” he orders calmly. He lets his gaze flick down to your hand clutching your bag of books, “Take out your book on core concepts.”

You follow his eyes and pull out the right book before gently letting the strap of your bag slide off your shoulder until the bag hits the floor with a soft thud. Something tells you that you’re not leaving anytime soon.

“Place it on the desk and find the pages on Newton’s Laws,” he continues and your heart slams against your ribs at the thought of an impromptu pop quiz instead of a handed-in paper. Yes, you know these pages but in the presence of him, you’re not so sure. 

Behind you, Reed has shrugged off his jacket while you were flipping through the book. He folds it neatly and hangs it over the back of the chair he was displeased with a moment ago, making sure not to crease the fabric. Then he reaches for the sleeves of the white shirt that he is wearing and rolls them up to his elbows, revealing the slightly visible veins of his forearms. Your head swims and you subtly press your thighs together, images of what you’d like him to do to you flooding your mind.

“Bend over,” he says suddenly, murmuring it almost as if he knows he shouldn’t have said it. 

Your eyes widen and you glance in the door’s direction. There are so many people on the outside of this room right now but the chances of someone walking in are slim since lectures are rarely started at this hour of the afternoon, “I don’t understand?”

“You don’t have to understand anything. I want you to put your palms on either side of the book and bend over,” he elaborates and clearly notices your hesitation, the direction of your eyes. His arm stretches out in front of you again, snaking its way past the rows of chairs until it reaches the door once more. He locks it, the soft click of it mixing with your unsteady breathing, and then he pulls down the curtain in the window at the top. 

When the arm smoothly retracts once more, you naturally think it will stop at his side but instead, you feel his palm on the back of your neck. His other hand joins to lay on the small of your back and then he pushes down gently to maneuver you into the position that he wants. 

You exhale shakily as you place your hands on the desk, feeling the smooth wood underneath your fingertips as a way to ground yourself in a moment so electric. Your body is way ahead of you, reacting to the anticipation of his next move by making a dull ache settle right between your legs. Your clit throbs, your walls flutter. 

“Your paper was supposed to use Newton’s Laws as a foundation, let me make sure you know them properly,” Reed says simply while removing his hand from your lower back. His other hand, the one on the back of your neck, slips down your spine to take the previous one’s spot, leaving fire in its wake, “Recite them.”

You swallow thickly, “Newton’s First Law states that a body at rest—”

Smack. 

A loud gasp leaves you at the surprise of Reed’s free hand coming down on your backside, heat spreading out underneath the fabric of your skirt where it has struck you. Your head whips around to stare at him in disbelief at what he has just done, your mouth hanging open in shock.

“Eyes on the book,” he commands sternly, curling his fingers slightly into the hem of your shirt, “Go on. Newton’s First Law.”

You count three whole breaths before you will yourself to face forward again, looking down at the text in front of you and trying to regain your ability to read. You swallow the lump in your throat, the letters jumbled on the page, “Uhh…”

“Concentrate,” he adds and gives you another blow, one that makes you jolt forward on the desk and send the book almost over the edge. You frantically reach for it, noticing the way your heart leaps into your throat when you consider what would have happened if it had fallen off. 

You drag the book back down and try to act cool but your voice tells on you as you start to read out loud, “A-a body at rest stays at rest, and a body in motion stays in motion—”

He spanks you again and elicits another gasp but you seem to have expected it since you don’t go flying forward. This is even if his palm leaves behind a much more painful sting this time and makes your toes curl in your shoes. 

“Until…” He sounds impatient. 

You act immediately like a dog who is learning about action and consequences, “Until acted upon by an external force.”

“Good girl,” he praises and you don’t know why the softness of his voice makes you tear up. His broad palm traces over the spot that is warming up already and you make a show out of sighing with content. 

However, the soothing touch is short-lived and you start struggling just slightly as Reed’s hand descends until he can grab the hem of your pencil skirt and roughly tug it up. He settles it just above the plumpness of your ass, swatting you to make you focus and stop squirming. 

“I’m not going to fuck you so stop moving around,” he scolds and surprises you with yet another smack. It feels different now that each slap is skin-on-skin contact, sounds different too as the noise echoes through the empty lecture hall. You whine in slight disappointment, even if you have inappropriately imagined his cock in you during circumstances so different so many times. 

“Second Law,” he murmurs, occupied briefly by the bruise forming on your cheek and scraping his nails across it. 

“W-what?” You let out a whimper, your thighs pressing together to soothe your pulsing clit. In theory, you know what he has said but it just isn’t registering since your mind is occupied by you knowing exactly what you will be doing back home if he won’t touch you. In fact, a thrill goes through you at the thought of another blow to recall in your bed with your hand stuffed into your underwear.

“Newton’s Second Law,” he repeats with a smaller swat following. You suck in a breath to calm yourself. 

“Newton’s Second Law states that the net force on an object is equal to its mass times its acceleration,” you say somewhat confidently, a sense of calm settling over you as you finally feel like you are getting a handle on the situation. 

“Apply it to the situation you’re in right now,” he tests you. You feel your face grow hot and hesitation seizes you for a second. It takes a moment too long for him and a much sharper smack lands right on the jiggliest part of your ass, the sharpness of the pain making you moan for the first time and the noise of the blow bouncing off the walls. You almost even swear in your professor’s presence, and you would have if it weren’t for the way tears in your eyes take off the edge.

“You’ll get one more if you don’t open your mouth soon,” he adds. You’re just about to speak, about to follow orders, when he takes a step closer and presses his cock into your hip. You freeze at the size of him, a sound that can only be described as pathetic leaving you. Reed huffs out a chuckle and smacks you once more albeit slightly less maliciously.

“Y–you’re applying a force to me. Your hand is the mass and the acceleration is essentially the swing of your arm. The shorter the time and the greater the velocity of the impact, the bigger the force I feel,” you try not to hiccup through the whole explanation but the words take a longer time to come to you and your backside is hypersensitive, warm, and sore. Your pulse rings in your ears too, and you swear you can almost taste the adrenaline in your mouth from how it is coursing through your body. It might just be salt from your tears though which you realize will simply give you an excuse as to why you stayed behind after class. If you really try, you might be able to conjure up an act of a student who got some terrible feedback.

“Still with me?” You hear him ask, feel him soothe your burning flesh. You wonder if his palm is imprinted on your cheek.

“Yes, sir,” you mumble with a sniffle, your palms sticking to the desk from how clammy they have become. 

“Speak up,” he corrects you and his palm leaves you long enough for you to start anticipating another strike. No hands on your body makes it harder to abstain from feeling his hard cock resting against your hip, the heaviness of it making you even wetter and oh God, aching to be filled.

“Yes, sir,” you enunciate without coming off as bratty. The next strike doesn’t come and relief washes over you, allowing you to relish in the cool air brushing your tingling and bruised skin.

“Last but not least. Newton’s Third Law?” 

“F-for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,” you say and rest your forehead on the book that has absorbed a few teardrops, He doesn't give you praise or a soothing touch. It bewilders you, makes you question if your scatterbrained state has accidentally made you say something that is wrong. You go quiet except for your rapid breathing as you go over your answer in your head but nothing comes to mi–

The sudden smack instantly makes you realize where you went wrong, landing across the exact spot that’s already stinging and causing you to hiss and whine through your teeth. Quickly, you scramble to relate Newton to what Reed is doing to you, “If… if you strike me, my body exerts a force back on your hand.”

“Mhm, good,” he hums while your head swims, “And I bet you’re feeling that force right now.”

“It hurts,” you whimper feebly and turn your head to the side. Yes, it’s the truth but your body can’t tell if it’s supposed to register this as pain or pleasure, the sensations overlapping intensely.

“That’s part of the lesson,” Reed’s hand returns in a gentle touch, his large palm settling carefully over the same spot he has just mercilessly spanked, “Why does it hurt?”

You wish he’d move his hand down between your legs and make you come when he realizes how soaked-through your panties are, “B-because when you spank me your hand transfers kinetic energy into my skin. The force and the friction cause heat to build. The tissues and blood vessels react, and it—”

“Gives you that glow. Precisely,” he finishes your sentence and curls his hand around your hip firmly. He sounds enthralled by his work, “And I respond with arousal, meaning it makes me so goddamn hard. Now, hold still. These last three are for the three missed deadlines.”

You know he means business when his finger slips underneath the waistband of your panties. He pulls them down just enough to settle them underneath the globes of your ass without exposing your needy cunt, the elastic of them digging slightly into sore skin. His other hand lifts and you brace yourself even if you know that any human can suffer through even uncontrollable pain if they know there’s an end to it. 

The first of three strikes lands right on the curve of your backside, harder than any of the several ones before it and making your entire body seize up. He isn’t playing around this time, your skin immediately blooming with newfound heat and fiery pain. It makes you moan out loud and squeeze your eyes shut until fireworks go off behind your eyelids.

“Count,” he says calmly. 

“O-one,” you manage to say in a voice that makes it sound like an apology instead. 

The second one makes it feel like there’s a clap of thunder going through your bones. You jolt forward on the desk enough to finally send the damn book flying off the edge to the floor. Reed tightens his grip on your hip to steady you, dragging you back to him again as if to remind you that despite everything he’s got you. 

“Two,” you say shakily, “I’m sorry, Professor Richards.”

He rubs the spot to soothe your burning flesh and by now, a part of you wants to crawl into his lap and be held. He coos softly at you and gently squeezes the roundness of your ass, making you bite down on your bottom lip and exhale a needy whine through your nose. 

“No need to bring me apologies,” he tells you, “We’ll see if you’ve learned your lesson. Last one.”

He lets you wait for the final smack, but when his hand lands on your skin, a sharp cry rips from your throat. Tears start flowing freely from your eyes now - even if you’re still not fully crying as emotions have not caught up with you yet - but it’s not solely from the pain, but also from the swirl of adrenaline and arousal that tightens below your belly button. You wonder if you should reach up to wipe your eyes but you can’t make yourself let go of the desk underneath you, clutching it in an iron grip because of how wobbly your legs are.

“Three,” you hiccup as Reed loosens his grip on you. You feel the ache of your behind with every heartbeat and want to sob now that it is over. You’re hyper-aware of what is happening in your body which is the adrenaline starting to crash, and the emotions, coming in like a wave, are just about to overwhelm you when—

“Sit up on the desk for me,” Reed says gently. 

“But the book,” you glance toward the textbook that you sent flying not long ago. It is a silly thing to cling onto but there’s an emotional wavering in your voice as you say it which Reed seems to catch onto. 

“Leave it,” he murmurs, an order but not like the previous ones, “Sit. I need to make sure you’re alright.”

The task seems impossible. You barely manage to push yourself fully upright, your shaking legs nearly not able to hold you up, and when you turn around to lift yourself onto the desk, you feel the edge dig into your sore behind in a way that forces a hiss out of you. A tear that you have no control over rolls slowly down your cheek.

“Easy,” Reed is beside you, catching onto your motive when you get ready to jump up onto the surface in a hurry due to his earlier lack of patience. He has previously had a hovering hand nearby but now, he grabs a hold of you to still you, “Do it carefully.”

When you’re finally perched on the desk, you’re not sure if the calming cool sensation of the wood beneath your thighs outweighs the pressure against your smarting skin. What you are sure of though is the storm of emotions inside your chest, a raging one made up of an overwhelming mix of new pain, embarrassment, and vulnerability, all of which makes your heart feel too big for your rib cage. 

“I’m okay,” you lie but you hear yourself and know it isn’t very convincing. He gives you a raised eyebrow. 

“Seems like you’re experiencing what is known as a drop. Come on, deep breaths,” he guides you gently when he spots the way your bottom lip wobbles, “If you have to cry, let it out. No one’s going to see you.”

From his words, you realize that your breathing has become unsteady and hitched in very little time. Your shoulders shake and your chest has a ball of unleashed feelings in it that nearly makes you feel sick. It unravels when the tears that you hoped would subside resurface at the permission to let them flow. You feel them brimming at the corners of your eyes. 

“I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing,” you say shakily when they finally spill over even if the tension in your torso slowly ebbs away as you let go. 

“You’re alright. Just breathe for me,” he says softly. He brings his hands to your thighs and rubs them in an attempt to soothe and ground you, “Slow and steady in through the nose and out the mouth. Right now, you don’t have to do anything but calm down, and then I can take a look at you.”

The room around you seems distant as you try to breathe more steadily but you’re lightheaded, feeling almost as if you’re wrapped in a woolen, fuzzy blanket that blocks everything out besides him. You aren’t sure if it is the adrenaline crash anymore or the way that your whole body is so tightly wound for pleasure that won’t come but you crave his touch, crave him taking care of you.

“You’re okay,” he says over and over, drowning out the static in your ears, “No more crying, sweet angel. I’d rather not see you leave here like this.”

The nickname makes you snap out of it. Angel? Did he just call you an angel? Your tears go on hold when you continuously blink up at him from your seat on the desk, pawing at his chest without knowing what to do with all your longing. He makes you feel all the things you have felt since you met him all at once now, a dizzying flurry of thoughts and feelings. 

“That’s better,” he smiles genuinely for the first time and you melt right then and there. He looks so damn handsome when he does it that you go ridiculously doe-eyed at the sight. 

“Thank you,” you mumble while playing with the buttons on his white shirt. The butterflies in your belly have nearly made the pulsing ache of your backside disappear. 

“Stand up,” he says and removes your hands from his chest which you probably make a much bigger deal out of than him, “I need to take a look at you.” 

You stand on wobbly legs. Slowly and carefully, he skims his fingers over the inflamed skin and notes out loud that it is warm. It’s not a soothing caress for the sake of tenderness, but rather a deliberate check-in to take note of how much damage he’s done. He works methodically, like a man who daily works with scientific research and experiments, going over each part of you while humming at his discoveries. 

“Right. Cool compress when you get home for the swelling, ten-fifteen minutes on and off. Frozen peas will do,” he instructs in the exact same tone as when he gives out science homework, “The skin is still intact but you’ll be sore if you don’t treat yourself with a little kindness. Lotion if it is too much to bear and loose clothing. Not a pencil skirt like this one, we clear?” 

You nod with the hint of a pout.

“And,” he adds and grabs lightly at your chin, his tone suddenly playful, “Try not to miss any more deadlines.”

It’s a joke, you realize, something to lighten the atmosphere in the lecture hall and you barely register it from the way his fingers hold your head in place. Despite your watery eyes and racing heartbeat, you huff out a little laugh.

“There we go,” he coos at the sound of your chuckle, “Not so gloomy anymore.”

With gentle hands, he reaches just below your hips to pull your underwear up over the curve of your ass again, careful not to let the waistband tug at the sensitive skin. He does the same with your skirt, tugging the hem down over your thighs until you look decent once more. 

Your lips part slightly as your eyes slide up to look at his face, feeling dumbstruck by his brown intelligent eyes and his aquiline nose straight out of the statues from Ancient Rome. You admire the column of his neck, the mentioned beauty mark just above his collar, and the dip that you want to kiss. 

After a moment, you realize that you have gone quiet and when you look back at his eyes, you are dizzyingly meeting his suddenly intense gaze. It is as if he has calculated that you are back with him, lingering with desire albeit still a little shaken by your tears. His eyes are burning into yours and you can feel the restraint behind them. It is as if you can sense the electricity in the air, the warmth that prickles in your cheeks, and the heat that radiates from him. 

Without a word, he reaches to tuck your shirt into your skirt until it hugs your figure tightly, a fashion choice different from how you had arrived in his classroom earlier. The dominance of styling your clothes as he prefers it makes you press your thighs together, the dull ache returning between your legs. 

“I’ve noticed, seen it all. That’s why I did it,” he says cryptically as he stuffs your shirt down at the back, fingertips brushing the dip of your spine until heat racks up it. 

“Noticed what?” You ask foolishly but had you stopped to think, you would have figured it out already. 

“All the energy you’ve put into getting me to notice you and getting my undivided attention. Congratulations, you’ve finally got it,” he clarifies and lets both his hands rest on the small of your back for the briefest of moments. When he lets go of you, you follow his touch by leaning in to close the distance with a kiss. 

He places a hand on your chest, holding you back just when you are pressing the ghost of a kiss to his lips. He has given you so much by now. Why not this? A ball of frustration settles in your chest and comes out as a little whine of impatience, “Why can’t we?”

He doesn’t pull away, simply speaks less than an inch from your face so you can feel his breath on your mouth, “Because you need to learn restraint, sweet angel. I can’t have you missing your deadlines three weeks in a row - or at all really - due to some little crush.”

You want to defend yourself, say that it has nothing to do with him but deep down, you know it would be a lie straight to his face. So instead, you swallow thickly, “I want you. I’ve wanted you since I saw you.”

“And you will have me,” he kisses you so softly that you want to sink to your knees, “Just not until I say so, and certainly not before you’ve been a good girl and turned in that paper.”

“Sir,” you try one last time.

“I’ll teach you to be patient, to have restraint,” he tells you and makes you realize your attempt was to no avail, “Whether you like it or not.”

You give in, buzzing with the need for more, “I can turn my paper in on Monday. Would that suffice?” 

“I’ll hold you to that, but no late nights and last-minute scrambling. If I find you’ve rushed through it…” he lets the sentence drift off, letting your imagination figure out the consequence, “And it best be your best work yet.”

“Yes, sir,” you reluctantly pull back when nothing seems to work, “Whatever you want.”

“Hand it to me during office hours before class,” he instructs to which you nod.

“But what now?” You ask with a tiny impatient noise, letting him know just how much you’ve got against his reluctance to touch you. 

His hand flexes by his side, “Now you go home. You lock your door and you touch that pretty thing between your thighs just how you like it most. I want you to come for me until you’re hoarse. Three times for three weeks but no more than that, not until we see each other again.”

It is Wednesday and you won’t see him until Monday. How on Earth are you going to survive on only three orgasms after this? Your mind races with protests but you don’t get to voice your concern about the limit he has set because he has already stepped back to pick up his jacket from his desk chair. 

You decide to circle the table to pick up your book and stuff it into your bag. Behind you, Reed’s eyes are definitely on you as you lean forward with a hand on the desk. He is fixing the cuffs of his sleeves and putting on his tweed jacket, trying to come off as if letting you have a private moment to compose yourself.

“Monday,” he reminds you when you stand upright again. His arm stretches out between the rows of chairs and tables once more so he can unlock the door for you. 

“Yes, sir,” you answer obediently. 

You swing your bag over your shoulder and then you leave.

.

.

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[justcruisingaroundrevived]

If you're taking requests and don't mind doing a bit of an odd one tec x black/poc reader I love those incels even though they're all a little bit racist (especially Bill) if you can write this id love to see it.❤️💕❤️

Milky Bands That Speak Old Sonnets

Summary: TEC x Black! Reader

TW/CW: racism, micro aggressions, fetishization, stereotypes, OOC (?)

A/N: Hello! Thank you so much for the requests! I try keeping this as accurate as possible while also adding some fluff. I hope you enjoy reading this!

Reblogs are appreciated!

- We have to remember the environment the boys are growing up them is not the most inclusive environment

- Being surrounded with toxic white cishet nerds means picking up on micro aggressions and subtly back handed compliments

- All this to say, when Bill saw you at the comic book shop, he was kind of gobsmacked

- “Uh…I never new a black person would like comic books”

- He’ll never say it out loud (initially), but he does watch you…intensively

- You could feel his eyes following you while you picked up the latest X-Men uncanny comic

- If you two go to the same school, it’s the same thing. He’s watching you with the corner of his eyes, but also now actively taking notes on you

- It’s honestly creepy, to say the least. It’s like you’re the first black person he’s ever seen

- Striking up a conversation with him would almost lead to him questioning a lot harder about your knowledge on comics, even if you answer them like an expert

- This is a HUGE hurdle for him to overcome honestly. Talking to you more and more won’t automatically get rid of that nagging sense that you’re out of place to him

- However…his barrier can be broken

- If you two ever got romantic, that’s where he’ll work into overdrive. Probably will research as much about black comic characters (or black characters in media) in general

- If he especially liked you, may even researched black creators. Of course, he won’t bring it up at all in conversation

- You can tell he’s…trying? You can’t really tell

- But the backhanded compliments do stop overtime and he does become more accepting of the idea of you “belonging” in the comic book space

- Those prejudices will still exists, but at least he’ll try actively fighting them

- Don’t expect him to become an activist, though. Being in a space like that especially fucks up your perceptions of those different from you

- For Josh, I can see him being the second most accepting of the group

- A lot of his Sci Fi shows teaches about “accepting differences” during their runtime. Not to mention, being someone who is apart of a marginalized community (being Jewish) means he has experience some form of discrimination

- That doesn’t mean he welcomes you with open arms, but a lot less venom comes out of his mouth when around you

- Still, though. You weird him out. Never has he seen anyone “So brazen” coming into the geeky space (you’re just trying to buy a DVD of “Firefly”)

- Will use his extensive knowledge of Sci Finto see if you can be impressed about his vast knowledge of black characters in Sci-Fi (even if it’s characters you already know)

- Like Bill, will go on extensive research on any characters, plot lines, shows he missed, but it would be pumped up to the extreme. Genuinely would comb through every single media he had seen for any black characters and watch said episodes/scenes they’re in just to get a smidge of understanding

- He’ll still have trouble with it. He’s so narrow minded and has a hard time cracking open

- Maybe if you were into the same things he’s into, it’d be easier (kind of)

- Will engage with any media you mentioned, but it be more superficial

- Won’t stand up for you if prejudice comments come your way. Has his own biases and would freeze if someone confronts him, you, or both

- But he’ll get there (eventually. More than Bill, honestly)

- Pete would be the worst

- His horror media has little to no people of color, let alone black people

- Plus, with growing up with skin flicks and being so desensitized…

- He would fetishized you. Directly. No filter or anything

- Would compare your skin to food and other gross stuff. He has no reference to actually compliment a black person

- Would constantly try to touch your hair because he’s genuinely curious. If he manages to get a curl/coil, expect him to wrap it around his finger and watch it shrink/bounce back to place

- Will follow you around and “observe you”. Reality is, he’s trying to find some ground on where you two have in common

-Almost treats you like a specimen honestly…it’s disturbing, to say the least

- I will say, he would be the most likely to stand up for you. He would see you as an extension of yourself, so anyone making fun of you is making fun of him

- Probably rewatches “Candy Man” “Night of the Living Dead” and other medias to see if there’s any connection between those characters and you

- Even then, he’ll always stumble horribly. Never has he encountered a black horror fan, let alone be romantically interested in one

- He treats this relationship as a “stepping stone” of some sorts; seeing if could tolerate “different fans”

- Just a weird experience

- Evan said Jerry would be the most accepting of the four

- He would be the most open minded to a black player, even if he hasn’t interacted with one in his realm

- Probably met you by chance while at a tournament. You were at his circle and kind of clicked with one another

- He really does enjoy your company, and is willing to do whatever it takes

- That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have any prejudices. He’s a white boy living with rich parents that barely pay attention to you and is surround by a friend group who’s not afraid of spouting racial slurs and comments

- Fuck, this is the same guy who said a slur in the comic himself, but it would be kept to the group

- In front of you? Think a Diet Coke Pete. Would think comparing your skin color to food/magical items in his sessions is romantic and not at all creepy

- And would touch your hair while asking, but will back off with enough pressure

- Tries doing “research” of black fans, but finds little to no info. So, he forces himself to go to their space, and GOD, does he feel like a fish out of water

- But he does pick up on a few things, and tries applying them into your relationship (whether it works or not is like flipping a coin)

- Post fire, though, he does become more brave in how he treats you

- Genuinely does make an effort in breaking his prejudices, and will stand up to you if racist comments are made in your direction

- But that’s going to take a long, long, LONG time. Still, he’ll do it, for you

[abracadav-r]

"Okay, makes sense, but also what the fuck is going on with Vhaeraun's lore anyway😭

It still baffles me that it looks almost like they don't know what they want or what they're doing with him. At least that's the impression the current canon gave me the last time my mutual shared random bits of lore with me"

@mmigrainee

I think this is likely to go longer than a reply comment allows, so I'll put it here. Won't be citing as much as usual since I'm on mobile and the app likes throwing tantrums when I go in and out of it but here's the Cliff Notes version:

2e Vhaeraun has an entirely different depiction. His entries in Demihuman Deities and other 2e books by parties like Ed Greenwood depict him as a power that—while lesser to Lolth—is successfully able to convert followers from Lolth and skirt around the margins of Menzoberranzan as a noticeable threat to the Church of Lolth.

Then we get Cunningham's novels, where the Vhaeraunites and their centers of power are depicted in very shallow ways thoughtless to his existing lore (his followers have sex slaves and prowl after women) this also starts the "Evermeet's take on this is now taken is as good as the official timeline rather than a bardic version intended to please the court of an elf nation with its own problematic history".

These depictions continue into 3e onward, leaving most depictions of Vhaeraun and his followers as slavers, sex pests, genociders et al and most notes of egalitarianism are removed from him and either disappear entirely or are reassigned to other parties, especially in the era where we have storylines focusing on the "redemption of drow".

4e comes around and Hasbro wants to streamline and thinks too many gods are annoying and they want everything Lolth all the way down. Lady Penitent comes out and kills everyone but Lolth in stupid ways and 4e pushes that all drow convert or die. Every underdark city that isn't Menzoberranzan might as well no longer exist, assuming they didn't outright eradicate it with whatever reason they spun up to have unopposed rule.

In between, Ed and others are consulting. Their work is cut by editors but more recently they've said there was plans to have the twins return as archfey in a campaign after their deaths, returning to their origins.

That lore never gets published, so we move into 5e with them still dead or just reappearing like a lot of gods did with no justification. Hasbro doesn't want to do the worldbuilding work they did in 2e-3e so they just leave everything with a big hole turn in it. You guys only care about the Sword Coast, right?

Ed eventually gets asked on Candlekeep about it and spins up a narrative that Mystra interfered in Vhaeraun's attempted assassination in Lady and behind the scenes, grabs the twins and pulls them into the weave in torpor essentially. They weren't dead, pretending at it, which is why the Skulkers of Vhaeraun received spells. This may be tied to the Demon Weave content in 4e's Council of Spiders, perhaps Mystra wanted Lolth to feel confident and overextend, which helped knock her down from a Greater Power to a Lesser Power in 5e.

Ed continues on this, saying the twins have reached an "understanding" and now won't be directly opposing each other, though members of each church may.

tldr: Hasbro doesn't really give a shit about a consistent narrative, they just want to republish books every 5-10 years with the same three paragraphs and it really shows in 5e when the original creator has to come out and say "yeah I hear you guys and had plans that I now can't really talk about due to NDA but here's something new to try and fix the gaping hole."

[arimiadev]

recommendations of visual novels on sale for the steam winter sale 2024

steam's winter sale just started and will run for the next two weeks, so if you're looking for a new visual novel to try (or want to get into them), here's a lot that I've played that are on sale on steam.

umineko when they cry

the ushiromiya family returns to the family head's home on an isolated island for their annual conference with the intention of settling how his vast amount of wealth is divided. instead, though, a letter is left from someone claiming to be a "witch". with the ushiromiyas dropping dead left and right, the mystery behind everything remains to be solved by you, the reader.

I can't make a recommendation list without mentioning umineko. it's life changing. it might even trans your gender. it's hard to describe umineko, but just know that it's absolutely deserving of the "cult classic" tag.

notes:

kinetic/linear - no choices

VERY long, 120+ hours (over all 8 episodes)

divided into two games on steam - Questions Arcs is the first 4 episodes and Answers Arcs is the last 4 episodes (8 episodes in total, play Questions Arcs first)

created by Ryukishi07, creator of Higurashi

fantasy vs mystery

ace attorney

follow phoenix wright as he embarks on his career as a lawyer to help people. meet a variety of clients and prove their innocence by collecting evidence, interviewing witnesses, and exposing lies in court.

ace attorney is a classic mystery visual novels, being a blend of point-and-click elements via investigations and visual novel storytelling. the steam port is a massive collection, combining the first 3 games (the original phoenix wright trilogy) as 1 game.

notes:

investigative gameplay segments, a good chunk of the story is point-and-click parts

pretty long for the whole trilogy- each game is around 20 hours long and the steam edition is 3 games

modern mystery with supernatural elements

ai: the somnium files

play as detective kaname date as he hunts down a serial killer using a cutting-edge technology which allows him to "psync" with a person, diving into the memories of others to solve crimes in a limited amount of time with the help of his AI assistant/eyeball Aiba.

aitsf is a lot. it's probably the raunchiest non-eroge game I've ever played and despite my low tolerance for dirty jokes I found most of it to be laughable and a fun experience, though I did play this with friends. if it's a miss for you, it's gonna miss you by a wide margin, but if it's a hit for you, you're going to be recommending it nonstop. either way you'll want to hit kaname date with a car.

notes:

long, around 25-35 hours

this game heavily relies on going back to prior choices via their branching menu to try other options in order to get the full story (and true ending). there are several endings to this game but you're meant to play through them all, not just one or two.

a lot of gameplay and interactive segments

sci-fi mystery

english voice acting

witch on the holy night

aoko aozaki is a highschooler who has to balance her class president, perfect grades life with her secret afterschool life of being a mage—a secret she has to keep at the risk of death. keeping this balance already isn’t easy but one day she gets a wrench thrown into it with the introduction of a transfer student, soujuurou shizuki, a country boy so out of touch that he’s never seen electricity before.

I love witch on the holy night so, so much. it's one of the most beautifully directed visual novels ever made with so much love and care put into each frame. the cast is wonderful (touko my beloved) and it's a must-read for anyone who likes modern-ish fantasy.

notes:

kinetic / linear - no choices

long, around 25-30 hours

originally written by kinoko nasu, one of the co-founders of type-moon and creators of fate/stay night. has some relation to tsukihime and garden of sinners but you don't need any knowledge of those going in

modern-ish (1980s) fantasy with lots of talking about magic

ghostpia

a snowy town filled with "ghosts" is where the young woman sayako finds herself trapped, feeling like she doesn't belong and wants to leave this town where no one dies.

it's hard to describe ghostpia. it's a surreal-ish story about "ghosts" where every character is quirkier than the last but every part is made with so much heart behind it. you never really know where the story is going, but unfortunately only 1 season is currently out on steam.

notes:

medium length, around 10 hours

very innovative and unique use of visuals and paneling

surreal-ish (sometimes violent) fantasy

please be happy

as a shapeshifting fox called a "gumiho", miho has traveled the world in search for a traveler who showed her kindness many years ago. afraid of sticking around in one place for too long, miho has never stayed anywhere for more than a few nights- but all of that changes when she arrives in wellington, new zealand and meets the barista/writer aspen and the vampire archivist juliet.

okay I did work on this one but hear me out. please be happy was a labor of love for our team that took over 3 years to make and is a slice of life story about love, trust, and what it means to be human. and you get to play as a gay fox girl voiced by dottovu.

notes:

medium to long, about 20 hours

2 romanceable ladies, aspen and juliet, and a plethora of side characters to meet via a map system

modern slice-of-life fantasy

english voice acting

WE KNOW THE DEVIL

find yourself back at summer camp with all the queer religious horror of it.

WE KNOW THE DEVIL is a short, atmospheric and slightly surreal story about 3 teens at a religious summer camp waiting for the devil. if you want something that feels familiar and otherworldly at the same time, this is right up your alley.

notes:

very short, about 2 hours

3 endings and 1 true ending

isolation, psychological horror

fate/stay night

seven mages known as masters summon heroic and fictional characters from the pantheon of history to fight it out over the ultimate magical item - the holy grail.

fate/stay night is one of the most well-known visual novel properties out there and it's finally not only available in english officially but on steam! this remaster is a treat and done with a lot of care put into it, it's a great way to get into the fateverse if you've never tried it before.

notes:

pretty long, 70+ hours

3 routes / heroines to be with with lots of bad endings

modern fantasy, battle royale

mamiya

the end of the world is near. what will you do in the final months? and who is this "MAMIYA" who proclaims their love for you?

MAMIYA is a dark mystery visual novel about a group of guys who meet during the funeral for a friend, a stranger, a passerby, and become entangled in the web of an entity known as "MAMIYA". the presentation and style feels fresh.

notes:

check out the content warnings before reading

medium length, but is segmented into a lot of chapters that make it easy to pick back up

dark modern mystery with supernatural elements

a date with death

the grim reaper contacts you saying he wants your soul. naturally, you respond...with flirting??

a date with death is a free game but it does have paid DLC so I'm including it here because I want to. it's a comfy chatsim romance visual novel about, well, courting the grim reaper.

notes:

short, around 8 hours for the base game

customizable protag

1 male love interest

cute modern supernatural romance

twofold

Olive has 1 last chance to graduate college - pass a filler class. when their situation comes to light, 2 club presidents agree to help them but end up dragging them in the middle of their feud...

I also worked on this one. the writing and art is truly charming and heartfelt. it's a story about romance but also relationships in general - friendships, platonic relationships, familial bonds, etc. this visual novel took several years to be completed and the final result is one made with a lot of love.

notes:

medium, around 15-20+ hours for both routes

nonbinary protagonist, 2 female love interests

modern slice-of-life, college setting

english voice acting

slay the princess

you're tasked with a simple goal - slay the princess, or else she'll destroy the world.

talk about taking a simple premise and running with it. slay the princess is a mind-bending psychological horror about love and repeating things a lot of times. after all, all you have to do is slay the princess, right?

notes:

short to medium, around 10 hours for a full run

lots and lots and lots of branching paths

psychological horror, does contain gore

english voice acting

canvas menagerie

Niko is a trans man and lifelong actor who's been down on his luck until he gets the lead role in a major TV show. there, he starts to fall for his annoying celebrity costar.

well I wrote and drew and programmed this one by myself so I can't really give an indepth recommendation for it but I think it came out pretty nice. it's a comfy gay romance about actors.

notes:

medium length, around 10-12 hours

boys love romance

modern slice-of-life, adult cast

------------

note that all of the indie visual novels listed are also available on itchio as DRM-free versions. there's a ton of VNs on sale over there right now as well.

[seabirdtxt]

.Irminsul --amend -m 'Scaramouche'

Nahida has called in the book club to try and start discussions about the Creator's situation. Cyno actually kinda knows what he's talking about and Alhaitham is... mostly there for moral support... [< prev] [Blog Tag] [next >]

Notes: SAGAU, reader is the Creator but no cult shenanigans. Separate warning for my writing being all over the place on this one. all relationships are currently platonic!

WC. 2.6k

----- ⚘ -----

There’s not much to do except wait for Alhaitham and Cyno to show up, unfortunately, so you have taken to chatting with Nahida and Aranyani about some of the games and toys that exist back on Earth. Aranyani seems to be interested in the mechanics of each, comparing them to existing games in Teyvat, while Nahida is more interested in trying them out for herself, someday.

Scaramouche doesn’t seem interested in the conversation, but he sits with the three of you anyway and watches the shadows of birds moving beyond the stained glass windows. 

You’d just been explaining the concept of the rubix cube and algorithms to the two gods when a sure knock is heard on the sanctuary doors. Scaramouche takes the opportunity to make his escape from the conversation, shuffling to the door and opening it for the newcomers. 

Cyno steps in, followed by Alhaitham, and the two of them hold each other at a polite distance as they walk down toward the dais, where the rest of you stand to greet them. 

“Hello, my friends!” Nahida exclaims, smiling brightly and clasping her hands together even as she and Aranyani take a gracious step back to allow you and the newcomers space. “Thank you so much for being here! We have a lot to discuss!” 

“We came as soon as we heard,” Cyno replies, nodding. He then turns to you with a little salute. “Your Grace, it is an honor to be in your presence.”

You put your hands up placatingly. “Please, there’s no need for formality…” you say, shuffling awkwardly on the spot as everyone looks at you. You clear your throat and gesture for the newcomers to continue. 

“We heard about the circumstances after your arrival in Teyvat,” Alhaitham states, stepping around Cyno, stopping at his side and crossing his arms. Straight to the point. “Do you remember the circumstances that led up to your descent? It might help point toward the root cause, and shed light on the ‘how’s and ‘why’s.” 

“Uh, good question,” you mutter, scratching your head about it for a second. “I was probably hanging out in my room or something, really. Playing, uh, games on my phone.”

You wonder if it’s too early to mention that said game was Genshin, AKA. controlling their world. You know they’re marginally self-aware, but the extent of which still escapes you. 

“Alright, and did you do anything different while you were playing on this ‘phone’? See anything strange?” Cyno picks up, pulling out a small notepad and quill. “Anything out of the ordinary, things that you don’t normally do or notice.”

“Well, my phone has been glitching a lot when I play games, lately,” you muse. “And I kept getting these buggy screens while I was in-game, but I figured that was just because my device was overheating or something. You know, they build them faulty on purpose so they can sell you a new one every few years? Apparently in France or something they made companies give people the right to repair their own phones, but we don’t have that where I live…” 

Cyno writes down most of the first half of what you say, but you seem to lose the crowd as you ramble. He looks up from his notepad to fix you with a level stare, though you can tell there's just a hint of confusion behind his expression.

“Can you say something that makes sense to people who live in this world?” Scaramouche interjects somewhere in the middle of your rambling, the first time he spoke since you guys first teleported to the Sanctuary of Surasthana. “Or at least stay on topic, or something.” 

“Oh,” you reply, blinking. “Right.” 

Cyno nods to you again, though he keeps glancing at Scaramouche out of the corner of his eye. Alhaitham doesn’t bother with subtlety, fixing the Balladeer with a level, analytical stare. Cyno clears his throat after a few seconds of awkward silence, preparing his notepad once more. “So, you were saying you played on this ‘phone’ device, aside from the problem you noticed, was there anything else you did differently?”

“Not really,” you shrug. “I was playing the game like I normally would, doing commissions and stuff. No, wait, actually I did do something a bit weird.” 

This causes Cyno to perk up, and he leans forward onto the balls of his feet as he listens attentively. 

“Because the game was overheating my phone, my ping was super slow,” you explain. “So I was lagging pretty badly. I was doing one of the leylines in the jungle and I was spamming the interact button on the flower because I was getting impatient…”

“And then?”

“... And then I think another dialogue box popped up, but I didn’t notice what it said.” You finish, sighing. “After that, I just remember waking up beside a leyline thingy right here in Teyvat.” 

“Do you remember the exact location of the leyline?” Alhaitham asks, to which you shake your head.

“The Traveler and Wanderer found me not too long after that, and took me straight to the city. They probably have a better idea than I do, honestly. I didn’t really have a chance to figure out where I was, at the time…” 

“Do you recall any distinctive landmarks? Anything that stood out in an otherwise unremarkable location?” 

You shake your head again, trying to remember what you saw. “No, uh, I was a little bit distracted by discovering I was suddenly in- uh, in Teyvat, and-”

“So you were not already aware of your location when you descended?” Cyno clarifies. You nod quickly.

“I only figured out it was Sumeru when the Traveler started bringing me closer to the city,” you agree, wringing your hands nervously under the general’s gaze. “The few little houses and tents that started popping up, the architecture kinda gave it away…” 

“Were there any inconsistencies you noticed between your knowledge of Teyvat and the actual Teyvat when you arrived?” Cyno asks, his head tilted to the side ever so slightly. “Just to make sure you’re in the correct version.” 

“Well, funny you should mention that,” you figure it wouldn’t hurt to share this, given the result of it sitting right next to you. Out of the corner of your eye, Nahida is giving you a thumbs up. “I got hurt touching a leyline, not the same one as when I first got here, though! I got a little cut on my hand, because the leaves are a bit sharper than I was expecting…”

Alhaitham’s attention shifts from the Balladeer back to you. “What happened when you were injured?”

“I, uh, I accidentally made Irminsul recover some deleted information.” You simplify as best as you can. “And now there’s several things that were added back to the world that aren’t technically supposed to be here...”

“I’ve never heard of leylines doing that, before,” Cyno remarks. “Then again, it’s not every day the Creator descends to Teyvat.” 

“Have you tried going back to the same location to see if it yields reverse results?” Alhaitham wonders aloud, seeming amused by the strange predicament. 

“And what is that supposed to achieve?” Scaramouche interrupts again, snorting as he crosses his arms. “Besides going for a leisurely stroll through the jungle, I mean. Irminsul already recovered the missing data, and the location itself doesn’t matter, if you haven’t noticed already, since you can find a leyline just about anywhere.”

“It’s certainly an unprecedented behavior for leylines,” Cyno agrees. “But again, the Creator has never descended before-”

“We heard you the first time,” Scaramouche deadpans, earning him a smack upside the head courtesy of you. “Ow! Do you want to figure this stuff out or not?”

“Be nice,” you grumble, though you do feel slightly annoyed at the repetitive line of questioning. “He’s just ruling things out, right?” You turn to Cyno, nodding encouragingly for him to continue. 

“Ley lines are a complicated but fascinating subject to study,” Cyno states, crossing his arms and tucking his notebook under one elbow. “However, I’m afraid interdimensional travel is a little bit outside Spantamad’s realm of expertise.”

“Honestly, that’s fair,” you give a resigned sigh, but Scaramouche cuts you off.

“But how’s that supposed to help you?” He sneers and rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “It’s like you want to be stuck here forever with no explanation for how you got here in the first place.”

“Can we just chalk it up to magic or something?” You ask sheepishly, a little embarrassed at having taken the time out of two of Sumeru’s most important figures’ days.

“I was looking forward to hearing about how you got into this predicament with your own two idiot hands, honestly.”

“What I want to know,” Alhaitham suddenly interjects, surprising everyone else with his initiative. “Is how the Creator and the Dendro archon are here, cozying up to a Fatui harbinger?” 

Four pairs of eyes blink at him in surprise, while Cyno nods in agreement.

“I think that’s the more pressing matter, here,” he agrees, and you can sense the tingle of static in the air as his previously-relaxed grip on his notebook starts to tighten. 

“Okay, see, that’s one of the things I was talking about!” You say quickly, the words leaving you in a rush in hopes of stemming the building tension in the sanctuary. “He was a harbinger before, but he’s all better now!”

“You say that like it was an illness,” Scaramouche snorts, to which you can only laugh.

“Yeah? As if you didn’t act a little bit sick in the hea-”

Nahida, who up until now has been doing an excellent job of pretending to mind her own business, decides to chime in before the general can come to his own conclusion.

“I apologize for not warning you two earlier, but I do have it on good authority—that authority being myself,” she hides her giggle with the palm of her hand, “that the Balladeer poses no harm to either of you, or the Creator!” 

“It’s also kinda my fault that he’s here, so I mean…” You trail off and give an apologetic shrug.

“How did you know I was a harbinger?” Scaramouche’s eyes narrow at Alhaitham and he crosses his arms as well, mirroring both the scribe and Cyno. “As far as I've been told, the memory of ‘me’ was erased from Irminsul.”

Cyno shakes his head. “No, there is recorded evidence of the Balladeer’s involvement with the sages’ god-creation plan,” he corrects, relaxing very slightly after Nahida’s reassurance but not dropping his guard completely. 

“I was present at the time of the Traveler’s investigation of the Joruri workshop, where they confronted the mechanical false god,” Alhaitham adds. “The person who fell from the machine indeed bears striking resemblance to you, but was confirmed to not be the Balladeer himself. However, Lord Kusanali’s own interjection confirms that you are indeed the Balladeer.” 

“He’s been reformed,” you say cheerfully, but your mind is running a mile a minute. Evidently Nahida and Aranyani are on the same page, because the two goddesses drift closer with curious looks on their faces. 

“So Irminsul has already started patching the holes in Teyvat’s history,” Nahida muses, hands on her hips. “It’s much faster than I anticipated, given the circumstances.”

“Not as surprising as you would think, little sprout,” Aranyani pats her head. “Irminsul is capable of very rapid computation, but the problem lies in resolving as many conflicting histories as possible. Two is faster, but three will cause some things to be shuffled around for a few days, still. The justification of the existence of multiple incarnations of the Balladeer may yet be subject to change.”

“So you’re saying that what we currently perceive as fact, is instead false?” Cyno asks, having retrieved his notebook once more. As the goddesses continue to muse on the subject, he writes down their theories and makes some notes of his own. 

“I’d say sorry for that workshop fight,” Scaramouche says, addressing Alhaitham with a smug grin. “But I honestly didn’t even remember you being there. I guess you just weren’t that noteworthy to me at the time. No hard feelings, right?” 

Alhaitham doesn’t even bother to grace him with a look, much to Scaramouche’s annoyance. Instead, the scribe quietly listens in on the Irminsul discussion.

Meanwhile, you try to remember what team you had when you took on the Archon quest fight. It’s been a while since then, and you’re not sure if you’re thinking of the right fight. Maybe you used Alhaitham in one of your weeklies? Speaking of which, do those boss fights exist in the world of Teyvat, or is that just for you as a player of the game? If they exist, how do the characters feel having to go beat up the same people on a weekly basis? What about the characters who are weekly bosses, like Wanderer, Childe, and Ei?

Thinking about it is starting to give you a headache. 

You decide to tune back in as Nahida and Aranyani finish bouncing ideas between themselves, with Cyno furiously scribbling annotations in the margins of his notepad. What was it they were talking about again? You get the sense that maybe you should've paid a bit more attention. 

“- that’s the case, then we should contact Inazuma and see if there is a new history that came up.” Cyno offers, to which Nahida shakes her head.

“If we ask directly, the answer we will get is the same.” She explains, wringing her tiny hands. “To them, this knowledge will have always existed. They will perceive it as an unchanged fact, in the same way you and the Scribe believe the circumstances of the Balladeer to be a fact. The better people to ask would be the ones involved in the anomaly.” 

“Alright, and how do we find them?”

“See, that’s the funny part…” You begin, only to be interrupted by a sudden swirling pressure in the chamber.

It’s strange to see the teleportation from an outside perspective. You watch as Wanderer shimmers into existence, adjusting his hat. The metal charms on the ends of it chime as they settle. He looks up, catching sight of you first and raises a hand to wave, only to stop short when he sees the other guests.

“... Looks like I’m late to the party,” he remarks, drifting over to Nahida’s side. “Wanna catch me up to speed? Not that I care, but I might as well get the full picture so I can correct you where you're wrong.”

“I asked for the General and the Scribe to come visit so that we could get a better grasp on the Creator’s situation!” Nahida explains, smiling brightly at him. 

“Great, and how did that go?”

Everybody chooses to look in different directions, unable to look Wanderer in the eye. You hear him heave an annoyed, but resigned, sigh. 

“We might’ve gotten somewhere if Buer hadn’t sidetracked,” Scaramouche adds helpfully. 

“And you might’ve gotten the groceries like you guys said you would, too, but here we are,” Wanderer crosses his arms, pinning you and Scaramouche with a pointed look. 

You wince and turn around, subtly leaning over to Scara, whispering: “I actually forgot about that…”

“Me too…” he replies, not quite as quietly as you. You both startle as hands come down on both of your shoulders, Wanderer’s grinning face appearing between the two of you. 

“Isn’t this just a splendid opportunity for you two to go find the traveler and restock our pantry, while Buer and I go over the details of what you clowns didn’t explain right?” 

Scaramouche wastes no time wresting his shoulder out of Wanderer’s grasp with a noise of disgust. “Who do you think you are to order me around, teacher’s pet? I’ll go when I feel like it.” He sneers, stalking off toward the doors of the sanctuary.

You offer a light chuckle and a wry grin of apology to the others, who watch unimpressed at Scaramouche’s display, while Wanderer dismisses you with a shooing motion.

Right. Time to get those supplies. 

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/779889755795095552/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic779634954778#notes

See, I feel like you're getting massively upsetti spaghetti over something I didn’t even say. You read my comment, completely ignored my actual point, and then built an entire strawman argument you wanna attack.

I even specified that I ONLY used the pilot as an example because it was the most recent and more popular instance of this. It’s not about this pilot specifically, so you’re kinda missing the point and having a bit of an offended tantrum—especially since Idk if you even have a horse in this race.

I’ll make it even simpler. The issue isn’t the in-universe reaction; it’s that every time something like a black magical girl story is made, it’s treated as if it has never happened before. Just for you, I’ll clarify: I’m talking about our real-life, not the fictional “real” life. Even with this pilot, I’ve seen third-parties promoting it by calling it the “first black magical girl” representation. Full stop. As if no artist, especially black, has ever created a black magical girl before.

There’s a pattern where certain concepts are presented as so foreign and alien that audiences are told, “This has never happened before now.” when that’s just not true, it feels like previous creations are being erased just to make the newest instalment seem more groundbreaking.

This isn’t just about this particular pilot; it’s a broader observation on how this kind of wording is almost a trope when it comes to under-represented and especially marginalized groups in different genres. Not this one specifically, just how often I've seen that wording. It’s not just about the in-universe dialogue—it’s about how writers choose to present concepts and how audiences and media outlets love to harp on the “never been done before” narrative, despite how wrong that is.

In other news, I could also have used the “Fem-hero amnesia” phenomenon—where a strong female character is introduced, and suddenly people act like capable female leads never existed before, even in-universe*. Or when Disney kept marketing its “first ever openly gay character” over and over again for about ten movies straight. Or how there’s practically a trope where characters explicitly say, *“Wow, I’ve never seen a [insert demographic] be a [insert cool thing]!” when that's a complete lie, as a nod from the writers thinking they just broke ground.

It's a choice by writers, and the way it's written in-universe for the situations SPECIFICALLY in my previous paragraph also reflects about the lack of knowledge from the writers. (That's the paragraph above this one, the one that starts with: In other news…)

Thing is, I haven't seen that recently because I just don't bother with any more big studio products and haven't in several years now. So Idk what's going on there any more.

I’ve seen black magical girl comics for years and followed many before the tumblr 2018 purge, created by different artists—especially black women who grew up loving the genre. But what I’ve also noticed is that every time one of these comics gains attention, third parties act like it’s the only one that has ever existed. The reblogs would always be filled with "First to ever..." "I've never heard of..." "Why does nobody ever make..." "I don't get why nobody besides this artist..." And this just used to happen again and again, as if people are more interested in calling something the "first ever" than actually checking if that's true, and if there's maybe more artists who write exactly what they want and need support. It’s as much a trope as magical girls having animal sidekicks or every major franchise designing transformation items that conveniently double as marketable toys.

The reason this leaves a sour taste in my mouth isn’t about this specific pilot—it’s about how often this specific type of trope-ish framing is used for works by marginalized creators or heavily featuring marginalized people by audiences.

Also, the most offensive part was honestly you accusing me of being into the MCU. Honestly, at this point, that’s an insult. So… no U! Uno reverse! Hope your parents let you watch those movies if you’re so hung up on them.

--

[curiousascuriouscanbe]

That's how you knowwwwwww he loves youuuuu - that's how you knowww he's yourssss

Mini ramble

The part of Enchanted where Giselle turns the curtains into a dress is so Evelyn Coded!! Evelyn is a very, very resourceful person and very handy at sewing. And, fun fact! The blue tartan fabric that makes up the ribbon on her book hat has been in her family for two generations, as this resourcefulness was passed down from parent to child.

I can just imagine March trying to toss out old clothes or something of the sort, and Evelyn goes, "No wait!!", takes them, and comes back with something brand new and spiffy.

[akystaracer22]

Here in the Garden, Let’s Play a Game

Synopsis: A nightmare about paradise, and an attempt to create something new, even the coldest hearts can warm with a careful touch.

Notes

:)

Can you tell I like Adam’s character?

TW: Mild Mind Control, Thought Suppression, and Altered Thoughts in the flashback scene, descriptions of panic attacks, vomit, mild descriptions of gore, unreliable narrator.

As for the latter half: This is what Lucifer meant in Distrust Fall when he said he thought he knew where to start.

Hurt/Comfort

Word count: 3304

Fic under cut!

Adam blinked and pulled his hand away from where it rested against the hide of a boar, where the fuck was he?

Last thing he remembered he was exhausted after another shitty fucking day in hell and went back to his room to sleep, and suddenly he’s in some sort of glade.

Huffing, he gently patted the boar’s side and nudged it up, “C’mon, up you get, I gotta figure this shit out.”

The boar acquiesced easily, trotting away into the foliage as Adam took a look around the scenery to try and figure out where he was.

Long lush green grass that flowed in the breeze in such a way it looked pristine, long natural flower beds carving up the glade in perfect patterns. The trees were a mix of evergreens and impossibilities. Trees he’d never seen together before all coexisting in magnificent harmony.

If he didn’t know any better, he’d think he was…

Adam face blanched at the sudden wind that hit his body, his bare body.

Where were his clothes?

“No no no nononono!” Adam gasped and glanced around in a panic; he wasn’t wearing anything. That wasn’t good- shit he needed his clothes!

He flared his wings out to try and use them to give himself some coverage only to be painfully aware of another fact when nothing happened.

He couldn’t feel them.

He couldn’t feel his wings.

Adam twisted around and stared at his bare back in terror, he was missing his wings, wings he’d had for millennia at that point, wings he’d kept even as he plummeted to hell, ruined as they were they were still his they couldn’t just be gone-!

A loud whimper slipped off his tongue before he could bite it back. He cursed, hating the show of weakness only marginally less than he hated being so exposed.

Adam moved forward on unsteady legs, nearly tripping from the sudden lack of weight on his back from his wings. Already he hated the place, it’s perfection reminded him too closely to the garden, just as much as his exposure and lack of wing’s and-

Chink

Adam’s blood turned to ice in his veins at the sound. Glancing down at his right wrist, he found the source.

A small, innocuous golden cuff attached to a similarly gold chain, glowing softly from where it laid against his skin. The chain lead upwards, disappearing into nothingness.

The first man’s breathing quickened as he stumbled forward, instinctively trying to run in the opposite direction of the chain. Shit he was right why the fuck did he have to be right?!

He was in Eden; he was in fucking Eden.

“Adam!”

The first man turned around swiftly at the sound of his wife’s voice, smiling brightly as the angel he was reporting to took their leave, “Eve! My dear you look beautiful as always.”

His wife stopped in front of him, and Adam’s brow twitched, she looked…

Free.

Troubled. Her eyebrows were pressed together, and her shoulders were tense. Her hair looked unusually messy, and her eyes kept darting around as if looking for something.

She doesn’t want Them to see this.

“My dearest, what troubles you?” Adam reached out a hand to her before pulling back abruptly as he noticed something else, Her eyes had darkened to a deep, almost black red. Her chain connecting her to the Lord was absent, “Beloved, where is your shackle?”

“Adam we need to talk,” Is all Eve said instead, moving forward to grab him by the arm and drag him into the foliage surrounding the clearing.

“My dear we must inform our Creator immediately,” Gods first human exclaimed, his chest growing tight the longer he was aware of his partner’s bare wrist, “We are never to be without the shackles that keep us safe this is-”

“Just! Listen to me first,” Eve’s tone shifted abruptly silencing Adam, “I- I know how this looks but I need you to trust me for a second, please.”

“Of course, I trust you dear, but-”

Adam didn’t get to finish as Eve caught his mouth with her own. Kissing him deeply much to the man’s surprise. He didn’t have time to react when something passed between Eve’s mouth and his own and he instinctively swallowed whatever it was.

He heard the shackle shatter a second before his mind caught up to it, sending him reeling at the slew of information that struck him all at once.

Memories that he was forced to forget surged into his awareness-

- A passionate kiss with Lilith under the sun-

- A shared meal with an angel- with Lucifer-

- Him, screaming in agony as God cleaved open his chest and reached inside of him-

-A failed attempt to flee while he was still recovering, still reeling from the betrayal and terror as burning bright magic lashed out and dragged him back-

Adam stumbled back away from his second wife – his second wife how in Eden did he ever forget about Lilith – as the reality of the situation finally caught up to him.

They needed to hide. Now.

“Shit I need to get the fucking apple!” Adam yelled, breaking into a sprint even as he stumbled and had to catch himself on the trees as he ran. Animals didn’t even startle as he ran past because fear was an emotion you weren’t supposed to feel, not in Eden.

How the ever-loving fuck Adam was even able to process this was beyond him, but he wasn’t about to try his luck. All it would take is one moment of Gods attention and he’d be unmade and-

Adam bit the inside of his cheek to nip that train of thought in the bud. He wasn’t going to unpack that right now.

He needed to get to the damn tree.

The first man stumbled into a large clearing, immediately hating the exposure before catching golden leaves in the near distance, turning his head he was greeted with his salvation.

A tree with apples pure and divine. It’s trunk a darker colour than normal and it’s leaves a mix of brilliant gold and blinding white.

Adam raced across the clearing; all sense of caution thrown to the wind because he needed to get to those apples-!

A heavy weight slammed into him, knocking him to the ground before something pierced his leg.

Adam cried out in pain before he could stop himself, craning his neck to try and get a look at his assailant only to go wide eyed at the angel pinning him down.

Or, more precisely, the exorcist. Lute.

She was giving him the same hard glare she only really used for sinners or for Vaggie, the one that screamed hatred with every fibre of her being. The thing in his leg was her spear.

“I don’t know how you scum managed to sneak into the garden,” She snapped at him, vitriol poisoning her tongue, “But you’re not getting to that tree.”

“Shit- Lute it’s me!” Adam yelled, trying not to move his injured leg around the spear even as crimson blood – why the fuck was it crimson?! – soaked the ground, “It’s me Adam!”

Lute studied him and for a moment seemed to hesitate, sparking a glimmer of hope in Adam before it was snuffed out with her scowl returning, “No. You’re not. But you need to be fixed.”

Her halo glowed for a gut-wrenching second, before light seemed to travel down the divine chain towards the shackle.

“No nonono shit stop fuck!” Adam shrieked, abandoning sense and uncaring at how his flesh and muscle tore as he tried to shove Lute off, her spear mutilating his leg further, “Lute don’t let Him fucking do this please!”

The light got closer and still Lute did nothing, Adam could only watch the light seep into the cuff and see it glow lightly before-

Adam screamed as he jerked awake, immediately feeling something in his stomach shift and bile surge up his throat.

He stumbled until he hit a door and threw it open, whatever was in his stomach coming back up as he vomited over the railing of his balcony.

He could feel a weight on his back, and he almost cried as he realised it was his wings, instinctively curling them around himself as he sat there against the rails. He shuddered for a moment, shivering despite the heat.

His leg ached despite the fact that it was a nightmare.

It was a nightmare.

Fuck he thought he was about to-

A hiccupping sob slipped out of him, followed by another as he fell apart.

He thought he was going to die in the worst way imaginable. Worse than when the maid stabbed him, or when he fell or even when he died all those millennia ago he thought he was going to be erased.

Shit he thought he was going to be erased and one of his girls was going to watch it happen.

He would rather fall a thousand times over or be stabbed by a thousand angelic weapons then be erased again.

The fallen angel kept sobbing for a few more seconds before forcing his emotions back down again, he wasn’t about to be caught weak like that. Not here. Once before at the fucking graveyard was enough. He was Adam he was gods first man he was- he was the fucking Adam! He needed to get his fucking shit together because someone noticed. Before someone thought to look deeper and see how much of a rotten shit show he was inside.

He didn’t need anyone to see him this pathetic. Not again, not after last time.

.

.

.

“Adam?”

The first man’s eyes widened, and his head snapped over to the balcony next to his. Shit!

“Luci-fer ah hah why the fuck are you awake?!” Adam scrambled to his feet, wings flaring out to balance him even as he gripped the rail.

The king of hell was wearing what was probably casual wear for him, just a dress shirt, his usual pants and shoes combo, and a vest. His brow was furrowed as he took in Adams sorry state.

“I was working on something- are you okay?” Lucifer spread his wings, crossing the gap between their balconies with an ease that made Adam jealous. Lucifer had fallen just like he did and yet he was the one who still kept his wings, who didn’t have to deal with dead weight and could still fucking fly.

It wasn’t fucking fair.

“Go fuck yourself Lucifer, I’m not in the damn mood,” Adam muttered, stalking back inside and going to shut the door on the devil.

“No, no you’re not running from this not after-”

“After fucking nothing,” The first man growled, turning back to scowl at the king of hell who’d put a foot in the doorway to keep Adam from closing it.

“Adam,” Lucifer sounded tired, which pissed Adam off even more, “I’m not letting this one go. Not after what I just saw. You’re talking about this.”

“I’m sorry, why the fuck do you even care?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, why the fuck do you even care?” Adam snarled, mantling his wings on instinct, “First you fucking clean my wings for me, you keep on watching my back for some fucking reason. Then, you go out of your way to catch me when I fall, why? What the fuck is your angle here why the fuck do you care?”

“Can’t I care?”

“You didn’t care in Eden when you abandoned me,” Adam snapped before freezing.

“Oh,” Lucifer blinked a few times before folding his wings and making them disappear, “So that’s it, isn’t it. You had a nightmare about Eden.”

“Why the fuck would I have a nightmare about paradise?” Adam sneered past the twisting feeling in his gut, “Eden was perfect, the only thing I’d have a nightmare about would be the desolate land I was kicked out into.”

“Except Eden wasn’t perfect,” Lucifer pressed, eyes narrowing at the bluff, “It sure didn’t seem perfect when He-”

“Don’t!”

“…”

“…”

They both stood there, the silence staining the air with Adams stupid, foolish, weakness.

“Come on get dressed, we’re going out,” Lucifer huffed, his wings returning to block the balcony like that was an actual escape route.

… shit he was planning on doing that.

“Fine, piece of shit good for nothing-!” Adam grumbled as he threw open the closet and grabbed his shirt, throwing off his night garb with his mind only quietly screaming at him to put something on because he wasn’t wearing anything. It shouldn’t matter anyway; Lucifer had already seen him plenty of times in the past naked.

Still, he couldn’t have gotten his pants on fast enough.

He shrugged on his coat and put on his shoes before Lucifer abruptly grabbed him and dragged him close.

Before Adam even had a chance to curse at him or break out of the grip a shower of bright gold sparks crackled through the air and a warm wind hit his face. He jerked, stumbling out of the kings hold and striking out with a wing even though he knew Lucifer would dodge.

“Would you not?!”

“Sorry! Sorry,” Lucifer grinned, clearly anything but sorry, “But it was the quickest way to get here!”

“And where exactly is here? Because this just seems like a whole lot of nothing.”

Nothing but rock stretched out in all directions, they looked to be at the bottom of a cliff and if Adam looked up… was that the hotel?

“Are we seriously in the fucking nowhere around the hotel?!”

“Here me out first!” Lucifer spread his wings instinctively, “Just- I have a pitch for you!”

“Get on with it,” Adam bit out, he highly doubted anything Lucifer could say right now would even be remotely-

“A garden.”

The first mans thoughts cut off, before his brain kicked back in and he just stared at lucifer, “…what?”

“A garden,” Lucifer smiled widely, showing teeth without a threat, “You can use this space to grow a garden.”

“Why the fuck would I grow a garden.”

“You loved it in Eden didn’t you?” Lucifer’s smile shrunk a little into something pitying, It made Adam’s gut churn, “I remember how you used to spend hours talking about just caring for the garden. You were chattering on about concepts your mind couldn’t even comprehend yet as you tended the garden.”

“The soil is inhospitable, nothing will grow.”

“They said that about the land outside of Eden as well, and yet look what you managed.”

“You can’t seriously expect me to have the amount of time required to even begin managing the soil let alone the plant life.”

“I’m sure Charlie can be convinced to give you all the time you need in the day!”

“I can’t get down here.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers at the nearest cliff face, leaving Adam to watch as a set of stairs manifested, coiling through the rock and leading up towards the back of the hotel where his girls were laid to rest.

“I’m not exactly in shape asshole.”

“Well, you’ll be getting in shape as you work on this so that shouldn’t be an issue soon.”

“I-”

“You know you can just say you don’t want to do it right?” Lucifer shut the first man up easily with a look, “This isn’t a mandatory thing, you can just say no and go on your merry way.”

Adam knew that. He didn’t owe Lucifer shit and he didn’t have to do this. He could just walk; the stairs were literally right there now. He could just leave.

His feet stayed rooted to the ground where he stood.

“Well?”

Fuck.

“Just give me a fucking hoe already,” Adam sighed, holding out his hand and glaring at Lucifer.

The devil in question looked absolutely delighted, grinning widely and summoning-

“The tool, don’t give me a fucking mirror. You’re not funny.”

“Sorry! Sorry, I couldn’t resist the joke,” In a flash the small handheld mirror was replaced with a steel hoe the first man hefted in both hands. He tested its weight before nodding, it’d do.

“I need grass, pomegranate, apricot, strawberry, pear, some flowers- preferably the kinds that won’t fuck up the dirt any more than it already is. And fuck it- you can throw in some hell species as well let’s see how those fuckers play ball. I’ll need a broad fork to start breaking up the soil too.”

Adam had no fucking idea how he was going to make sure the seeds got enough sunlight to grow but fuck he didn’t have many other hobbies aside from trying it.

He stabbed the hoe into the ground and grabbed the broad fork from the air as it formed, mapping out in his mind what land he’s going to have to prep now and where he can just leave it to later. Maybe he can use the shade of some of the outcroppings to his advantage and Lucifer could create water sources, maybe even an underground river to connect them so there is some proper hydration without risk of contamination…

“You know, those seeds are going to take a long time normally to grow,” Adam looked at the other fallen angel as he talked, “Not to mention how long fixing the land will take, you could be doing this for decades.”

“Are you trying to discourage me from this after I just decided to do it?”

“Not at all! I just… have a suggestion.”

“Go on.”

“I can play with the time down here, make the land grow faster and nurture itself quicker. You won’t age unnaturally despite being dead and return to dust of course!” Luci laughed nervously, “But I’ve worked with the spell for long enough so I’m sure it’s safe.”

“… How sure.”

“I’ve tested it with myself.”

“Luci what the fuck.”

“We both know you would refuse immediately If I didn’t do it,” Luci laughed, crouching down, and placing a hand against the barren earth, “You’d rather die than have anything hurt your plants.”

“They’re living creations in their own right,” Adam snorted, “I’m just keeping them safe.”

“And yet at the end of the day you still eat them same as animals.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t eat anything that also wouldn’t eat me at the end of the day.”

“Pigs.”

“They’ve killed and eaten almost five hundred humans in the past two hundred years.”

“Chicken.”

“Have you met them?”

“Plants?”

“They devour any form of meat buried in the soil near them. Look it up, people have buried pieces of meat near plants needing protein and they devour them.”

“Oh, what the fuck.”

“I used to do it too back on earth, buried any meaty remains in the earth to help foster life once I figured that out.”

“Okay!” Luci’s hands glowed brightly, forcing his own magic into the ground in what Adam could only guess was his attempt at changing the topic.

Adam couldn’t see the change as much as he could feel it. The earth under his feet shifting ever so slightly in accommodation to the fallen angels magic.

Lucifer stood up as the glow faded away, dusting himself off, “Well, as fun as this talk was, I’m headed back up to the hotel. Char Char’s gonna be awake soon and I’m hungry.”

The first man snorted at his old friends bluntness, waving the angel of the morning star off as he disappeared into a shower of magic.

Adam turned back towards the barren wasteland, shaking out his wings and stabbing the broad fork into the ground. If he was going to make the best fucking garden hell had ever seen, he had a lot of work ahead of him.

Notes at the end:

In Eden, the only thing adorning both Adam and Eve was these little golden chains that God used to keep them from acting up like Lilith did, when Eve was created the chains appeared on both of their wrists. When Eve bit the apple, it broke her chains. Then, Eve sought out Adam and got him to eat the fruit and well you know the rest. God doesn’t pay attention to Eve because she was made from Adam so she should be perfectly subservient to Adam’s whims (misogyny amirite?) and thus Eve could sneak away and bite the apple.

Saw this from another fic but Adam was awake when the rib was torn from him because I live for that. The cuff stops him from remembering it.

The chains essentially prohibit the bad thoughts™ so as to keep Adam and Eve from straying like Lilith did. Basically, God is actively prohibiting them from having any true free will.

Lucifer explicitly told Eve to get the apple to Adam because he was mildly crushed by the thought of his old friend having gotten his will stripped from him because Lilith didn’t want to be with him anymore. He’s also hurt by the fact that God felt it fit to strip Adam of any notion of friendship, breaking the bond Lucifer so carefully forged with the first man. Lucifer despises that his friend went from treating him like an equal to treating him like Lucifer was leagues more superior to Adam. All that progress reset without any hope of repairing it.

Adams treatment of Lilith and later Eve was a learned behaviour, mainly because he was just following God’s direction.

The chains aren’t the only symbol of Gods control, Adam and Eve’s eye colours were changed from Brown and Mahogony to Gold, and they glowed softly with divine light.

It also caused the two of them to act more like angels than, well, themselves. This is something Adam grew back into the more time he spent in heaven, gaining the habits of the angels he spent more time around than other winners. It’s something that if he was made aware of, he’d despise.

God I love calling the cuff a shackle, because Adam knows the word and what it means but he can’t comprehend the implications because God won’t let him.

Adam had a lot of propaganda given to him when he reached heaven, mostly that Lucifer tricked Eve maliciously to get at Adam and that Adam was in the wrong for trusting his wife for even a second and all that lovely stuff.

Adams exorcist attire and casual gear all has armour that protected his chest, because he is conscious of the fact that he is missing a rib.

In which author uses way too many hyphens for it to be healthy.

Also, you know how mental health was in the past? Yeah? Good because Adam sure fucking knows :)

Toxic masculinity sure is a bitch isn’t it Adam?

Adam’s an unreliable narrator in the second half.

I’ve done so much gardening research for this holy shit.

My problem is that I can’t write dumb characters without giving them some niche that they’re a genius in. For Adam it’s gardening and animal handling. This guy kept up to date throughout the years no matter what. It’s his guilty pleasure. He even was the man behind many parks and gardens in heaven.

I’m losing the try to get Adam to keep holding his grudge against Lucifer for a little while longer battle.

[stevelieber]

Here's another thread I don't want to leave languishing at the old site. It's tough to start a career. I had good mentors and I'm grateful and want to pass it on. These are some notes I made on ways to do so.

1. Promote artists a generation younger than you. Share your platform. RT them, mention them in interviews. (This means being aware of what younger artists are doing!)

2. Hire them if you can. Pin ups, commissions, variants, fill-ins, assists, anything. A small gig can be what helps them make rent.

3. (The same applies to creators a generation older. Many of them helped develop the visual language, the audience, and the industry infrastructure we rely on. Tell your reader how these artists' choices informed your own. Help your fans see what you saw in your influences' stories.)

4. Support anthologies. They've always been a key place where new and marginalized talent can incubate, & established artists can try something new. (They certainly were for me. Many of the big leaps I made as an artist happened on anthology stories where I had freedom to experiment.)

5. Mentor new artists! Even if their subject or style is different from yours, you still have much to offer. Just be sure to frame your advice in terms of goals & principles rather than "the right way" or "the wrong way." You want to help them find their own voice, not echo yours.

6. Suggest strategies for dealing with challenging clients or collaborators. The industry may be very different from when you broke in, but those young artists are still going to face the many of the same problems you did.

7. Steer them towards someone trustworthy when they need a consultant. It's not easy to find an accountant, an agent, or a lawyer who understands what we do. Your contacts are valuable!

If nothing else, make them aware of Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts. https://vlaa.org/get-help/other-vlas/

8. Share your understanding of industry standards for pay rates & professional practices. This doesn't mean posting your rates in public. The main that does is anchor your position when negotiating rates with a potential client. But in private, TALK. This benefits ALL your peers.

9. There will be times when you can't answer a question. It happens all the time. No one knows everything! But you probably know someone who *can* answer it. Use your network of connections and make the introduction.

10. And finally, take questions about the art, the craft, the culture, and the business on your social media. Answer them as honestly as you can.

-end-

[freakinator]

okay i probs shoulda made this earlier on but in my defense i didnt really see me talking about fandom etiquette so much coming so a list of things to keep in mind about fandom etiquette for whenever i talk about it

fandom etiquette is:

etiquette rooted in fandom, came about both for safety and harmonic reasons

the safety reasons are cause you can never fully trust creators and businesses even if they truly dont mean any harm (mainly the creators cause lbr businesses do very much mean you harm if it fits into their bottom line)

the harmonic reasons are cause there are ppl with marginally different lives than you which means marginally different definitions of what fun means, this doesnt mean you have to excuse ppl acting like pieces of shit but it does mean that there are just some things that Seem bad based on what we've been taught but is ultimately harmless and you just gotta turn a blind eye even if you personally dont like it

like all etiquette is pretty much self-imposed with maybe some poking and prodding from other fandomers

a constantly evolving conversation that arises from discourse as mistakes inevitably get made

something that i myself heavily rely on cause im really picky with the spaces i like to immerse myself in and generally speaking places that i subconsciously note as following fandom etiqutte pretty well generally are ones that i can tolerate being in

fandom etiquette is not:

inflexible

static

infallible

something that creators, businesses, and nonfandomers will generally give a shit about esp if they lean more towards being normative rather than niche, if they think youre a cringy freak stalker then no amount of "cringe culture is dead and i dont Actually believe or care if these ppl are dating irl" will change the fact that they think youre a cringy freak stalker

something that will protect you when someone goes against it

pros:

theres a reason these things became more or less codified and its cause generally speaking theyre good rules to follow in fandom spaces so as not to turn them into complete tar pits

can help ground you when creators and businesses are getting a little too comfortable with fandom esp if youre the type whos congenial towards them rather than avoidant

can tell you the result of certain discourses cause theyve already happened before, possibly even multiple times

if youre like me, can help you look out for warning signs for when a fandom sucks too hard for you to want to be in it before even joining it if theyre not like. Visibly toxic from a glance

cons

can be used to silence more marginalized fandomers

can be used to shut down genuine complaints and criticisms

can be used to protect community abusers

can produce and/or reinforce thought terminating cliches (ex. "let ppl just have fun" and "separate art from the artist", the former is produced while the latter is reinforced, they can both be used to excuse some genuinely politically reprehensible things like continuing to fund jkr out of nostalgia even after being told with evidence why thats a bad idea)

[whydidoth]

As someone who frankly watches too much hbomberguy, I was fairly startled by the tone he adopted in his latest video in regard to his own sexuality. He has been openly bisexual, coming out (as far as I’m aware) on his channel five years ago in a video on adaptations of HP Lovecraft, but his bisexuality overall hasn’t been particularly present. Even in instances like discussing the queerbaiting of Sherlock or the ability in Fallout to officially play as a bisexual character, he tends to approach the topics in such a way that if you didn’t already know his sexuality, you’d probably just assume he was a good ally. Genuinely, I would not be surprised if casual viewers of his channel had had no idea. I saw someone else suggest that he centered his own bisexuality so much at the start in order to dissuade accusations of him targeting Somerton for being gay. While I think this is certainly plausible, on a pure narrative level, I can’t help but see this most recent video as a book ends to his one on Lovecraft.

In that video, he talks about the value of adaptation and how adaptation at its best doesn’t recreate the work but is a response in concert with it. He speaks very personally about how the film Cthulu embodied the deep, crawling horror of being an outsider in a way that he resented as a kid. As a queer adult, he came back to find not only catharsis but also that it understood the essence of Lovecraft and of his own experience in a way he had been unable to when he was younger.

In his video on plagiarism, he emphasizes how the harm extends past the simple act of stealing someone else’s work, and how plagiarism goes on to suppress genuine dialogue among new voices with new ideas. In some regard, this is a direct response to his original thesis, and the response is one of despair. We are without adaptation. We are without queer voices and narratives.

This shouldn’t be where things end, and I don’t think he would have bothered uploading this video if he had seen no hope for things going differently in the future. I know it’s fun to revel in the scandal of this call-out, but ultimately, we’re witnessing a tragedy. In addition to supporting and giving small creators a shot, I think we should also take this as a chance to be less hesitant about promoting and sharing our own stories.

I have a youtube channel that’s been sitting in the corner collecting dust for a year now, but I’m going to try picking it up again. I’ll be putting a link to both hbomberguy’s video on Lovecraft and my own channel in the notes, and I would encourage everyone to similarly shamelessly self-promote in the comments—literally everything from soundcloud to twitch to personal blogs, go nuts. Let’s all make sure the future is over-saturated with authentic, marginalized voices, yeah?

[brettdoesdiscourse]

Can you explain to me wtf happened with ava? Last I heard was something about sh@d and about someone irl who denied she did anything inappropriate. I trust you since you don't freak out about cartoons

Yes, of course.

(Important note, I will only be addressing things that happened between Ava and real minors in this post. If you would like to have the conversation about the art created by other people and potentially commissioned by her, there are other videos/posts that do so. I am only talking about things that occurred directly between Ava and real minors.)

Ludwig made a video on it where he discusses everything (without being transphobic), so I'm going to be linking specific timestamps where he talks about each point as well as explaining it myself. (I will also link to the tweets made by Ava and Jimmy themselves.)

As with every time I address situations like these, the purpose is not to give my own opinion nor sway yours. I try to give the events exactly as it happened. I will include statements from all people involved and you can form your own opinion about what you feel in this situation.

I will state that with a lot of what I'm covering, it is not just allegations like it normally is. A lot of these things are certifiable because they happened publicly and Ava has not denied them (except for denying grooming took place.)

And as with all situations like this, the actions of people do not give you an excuse/right to be bigoted. Protection against bigotry is not something marginalized groups have to earn and can be taken away. When you use bad behavior as an excuse to be bigoted, you are harming the entire community. Ava's actions are not a free pass to be transphobic and I fully renounce people who use them as such.

The basics of what happened is that messages (both private and on public Twitter) were revealed where Ava was having inappropriate conversations with minors and one minor in particular.

It is important to note that none of these messages were sexting exactly. These are all regarded as just "jokes" by the people involved. There was never anything such as sending nudes of herself nor asking for nudes in return.

The minor being talked about most said he does not consider himself to be groomed and that nothing ever happened beyond jokes.

The jokes themselves were inappropriate in nature and Ava was 19/20 at the time while the minor in question was 13/14.

The biggest ones came from Lava who was 13 when he met Ava who was 20.

It was confirmed that she met up with him when he was 16 which a lot of people assumed was them sleeping together.

However, Lava himself has said this did not happen. He had met up with the entire Mr. Beast cast when he visited North Carolina, he had gone with his family to meet them, and that nothing ever happened with Ava.

Lava has said that the videos were twisting what happened, that he was never groomed and the videos were just jokes.

(There is also a big scandal because the man who originally made the video against Ava had tricked the people involved into talking about what happened, including Lava.

The guy who originally made the video also withheld coming out about Ava for a year because he was trying to get other creators to talk about it instead. This included EDP who is a known child predator himself. He also stated he stalked Chris Chan while Chris lived in a mental health facility.)

None of the messages between Lava and Ava were ever private messages. They were always in groups. One of these problematic messages included Ava sending a Snapchat video in a group which minors where she captioned the video "cumming for America" and made suggestive faces/actions, although no masturbation or nudity or anything was ever shown. It was a joke video to the group.

Ava had called a lot of people "dad" and "daddy" often which was something she did with everyone, but this also included minors.

Another minor had come forward and stated he had uncomfortable messages with Ava when she was a 20 year old and he was a young teen. Included was her calling him "daddy." Again, it was described as edgy jokes and not actual sexting/relationships.

Ava had also been talking to a young minor (14) when she was 19-ish on Snapchat. The messages themselves were described as "edgy jokes", but the minor stated nothing sexual had ever occurred between them.

Please note there were some videos that got popular where Ava allegedly had private Twitter messages with a minor (she was 18, he was 14) where she allegedly said she loved the minor and a lot of other stuff. These messages were fake.

(Proof: The messages were labeled "today" and had the name set as Ava Kris Tyson. At the time of these messages allegedly happening, Ava was not even out as trans yet and had not changed her name.)

Ava did apologize for what happened on Twitter and did not deny all the allegations except for the one of grooming where she stated;

"I would like to apologize for any of my past behavior or comments if it hurt or offended anyone. It was not my intent. Seeing recent events we’ve mutually decided it’s best I permanently step away from all things MrBeast and social media to focus on my family and mental health.

I want to add, I never groomed anyone. The person who gets brought up in these accusations @ LavaGS has vocally supported that they are false.

Having said that, I humbly apologise to anyone I have hurt with my unacceptable social media posts, past actions, and to those who may feel betrayed by how I used to act online.

To lump these two factors together to create a narrative that my behavior extended beyond bad edgy jokes is disgusting and did not happen. In past years, I have learned that my old humor is not acceptable. I cannot change who I was, but I can continue to work on myself

I don't want these accusations to impact the hundreds of people who work at MrBeast, which is why I have stepped away."

Ava originally stated that she had "stepped away." Jimmy later said that he had fired Ava himself and that he had opened an investigation against her by a third party just to check to make sure she had not had sexual contact with anyone. And to make sure it didn't affect the company or was caused/enabled by it. Jimmy stated;

"Over the last few days, I’ve become aware of the serious allegations of Ava Tyson's behavior online and I am disgusted and opposed to such unacceptable acts. During that time, I have been focused on hiring an independent third party to conduct a thorough investigation to ensure I have all the facts. That said, I’ve seen enough online and taken immediate action to remove Ava from the company, my channel, and any association with MrBeast. I do not condone or support any of the inappropriate actions. I will allow the independent investigators the necessary time to conduct a comprehensive investigation and will take any further actions based on their findings."

The big scandal about this is because Ava met a lot of these people through Mr. Beast. Some had been modding for the Minecraft servers and things like that. She met one through him winning a contest. A lot of these messages were shared in the public/private Discord servers and group messages.

She met Lava through him winning a Mr.Beast contest. And he ended up becoming a moderator for her as well as helping Mr. Beast in general.

Another major controversy that has arisen from this is an old video where Ava shares Jeanette McCurdy's revenge porn. If you don't know, Jeanette had a bunch of nudes leaked against her will. Ava then made a video discussing it where she included a link in the description to those nudes and stated, "the link's in the description if you want to see them. I mean, I'm not endorsing people to go look at somebody else's private business, but I know that people might want to see them."

[dolconfessionsss]

There appears to be a significant amount of misinformation, exaggeration, and even falsehoods being circulated in this discussion. While it is true that the server and its staff have their shortcomings, they are being portrayed in an overly negative light, as though they are inherently problematic individuals. In reality, the server operates differently from most other spaces, and its unique approach may not align with everyone's expectations.

It is worth noting that the server administration has demonstrated a willingness to listen and adapt. For instance, they revised the rules in response to user feedback regarding their initial vagueness and have moderated certain behaviors based on community input. However, it is important to recognize that this is primarily a development server, not a conventional fandom space, and the staff aim to maintain that distinction.

Ultimately, no community can cater to everyone, and this server is no exception. Its structure and focus may not resonate with all users, but that does not diminish the efforts made to address concerns and improve the environment. Accusations of transphobia, homophobia, racism, and similar issues are significantly exaggerated. The server staff have consistently demonstrated their commitment to supporting marginalized individuals, often siding with those who have been victimized during critical discussions. It is important to clarify that the staff do not automatically side with individuals based solely on their identity. Their approach is context-driven, and they may use strong language, such as describing certain headcanons as "delusional" or "deranged," particularly when these interpretations significantly diverge from the developers' vision or the established character designs. This is largely because the server is not a conventional fandom space but rather a development-focused environment, where perspectives are often grounded in the creators' intent.

For those unfamiliar with the context or the staff's communication style, such language may come across as excessively harsh. However, it is typically not intended to be malicious but rather a reflection of the server's distinct priorities and the emphasis on aligning with the creative direction of the project. Understanding this context is crucial to interpreting these interactions accurately.

(Formatting and grammar tool used for anonymity. Sorry… (；￣Д￣)💦 I just don’t want to be caught in the crossfire too much… (´-﹏-；)💧 I just felt bad seeing all this. I think the staff would be open to talking things out? They have in the past. (´･ω･)?💭)

Literally, was flabbergasted by how well-spoken this anon ask is LMAO. Thanks for the end note clarifying it anon, totally understandable!

But I do have to counter your ask that at the end of the day, regardless what the 'intention' of the server was, it can't be denied that the admin could have been more respectful when addressing their members. I'm not going to namecall someone who's sharing their My Little Pony fanart in a strictly Care Bear community, I will politely remove their fanart and ask them to review the rules. That's it. Refering to these users as 'delusional' and 'deranged' is not just 'coming off as harsh', it is harsh and unecessary.

If their intention were indeed to create a server with strict regulations, they will moderate so properly: by giving warning, strike or even banning a user. At least, as far as I've witnessed, the 'moderation' they do are just this namecalling, and leaving regular members 'in charge'...? What were the intentions behind those actions?

On that note, I can't put my opinion on matters regarding racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. because I have zero context of these issues aside from the poorly-written Islanders in-game, so no comment on that!

[radioluminescentoblivion]

Hazbin Hotel: The Corruption of Creativity. Part 2 

1. Continued Discussion (Also Spoilers)

I wanted to continue talking about the problems with the show in part 1, but since this crossed the line between the art and the artist in terms of discussing two different subject matters, it made it rather difficult to try and divide it up. So this goes off from the additional notes I made for the show and transitions into the problems I have outside of it from behind the scenes. This post will go into more about Vivziepop, the community, and her controversies and how this impacts not only the show but her bottom line as well. 

BE WARNED, this will include some serious topics like Sexual Assault, Harassment, Death Threats, Misconduct, and Suicide. Read at your own caution…

2. Angel and Valentino: A tone-deaf understanding of the source material 

I left this part out of the first post because this would be the point where I transitioned into the issues that led me out of the show onto reality. But I’ll still talk about this segment in Episode 4: Masquerade to provide context. In the episode, Vaggie persuades Charlie to be more commanding around the hotel to get things done or in Charlie’s words “aggressively kind” about her being the boss of the hotel, she marches up to Valentino’s studio where Angel Dust is having a sex scene filmed and he gets worried and wants her to leave but she doesn’t listen. She comes across Valentino who has a no-more subtle approach to Charlie’s presence. Valentino resumes the film but Charlie gets in the way and mayhem ensues: this enrages Valentino and prompts him to put out the fire that Charlie caused, leading to an uncomfortable scene where Angel Dust gets abused in his dressing room as Val berates him and reminds him who he belongs to. Afterward, Charlie gets upset and is about to go off on Valentino but Angel Dust intervenes and yells at Charlie to leave. This then transitions to the infamous song “Poison” by Blake Roman. The next scene continues with Angel Dust crashing on Husk’s bar table demanding some hard alcohol to numb the pain.  

When I first watched this scene I could feel the raw potential of how this went out, how despite the show’s pacing still had a slow-burning impact on the viewer to appropriately leave a bad taste in their mouth (no pun intended). You can see and feel the devastating impact laid down on Angel Dust by his abusive boss and with the additional context from the music video Addict where he has his soul sold to Valentino where he gets sexually assaulted and abused, it only makes it more depressing. Angel Dust’s relationship is a horrifying reality that many people in the sex industry face every day which makes it all the worse for marginalized people such as POC, women, LGBTQIA, and all of the above. Sure it’s not the best depiction of an abusive relationship I’ve seen in media, but it does drive the point home, it also makes it more reassuring to see Angel Dust open up his feelings towards Husk, expressing empathy to each other more and even have a song about it with “Loser Baby”. This draws them closer than before and results in Charlie apologizing for her slip-ups with Angel forgiving her. 

Episode 4 is a bittersweet example of when the show goes into a direction differing from the main plot that focuses on the side characters in a way that matters most and builds up on who they are as people and how they might one day be redeemed from being sinners. On its own, the episode is a good case of how the show can work with its stories to display the varied life of Vivziepop’s vision of hell. However, the perspective of the narrative becomes very contradictory when it goes outside the story. 

On December 9th, 2023, a Twitter user and creator known as UninformedArtist posted screenshots from a deleted user account of a storyboard lead from Helluva Boss/storyboard artist from Hazbin Hotel, R2ninjaturtle or Raphielle. R2 has made art centered mostly around Angel Dust and Valentino, sometimes Vox (The TV-headed demon) in non-consenting scenarios and other explicit interactions. And with Vivziepop engaging with R2’s post featuring Vale and Angel in these situations with a lighthearted giggityness to it, creates a huge form of whiplash. 

Now normally if this was an artist outside the Spindle Horse team, I wouldn’t mind this too much and just take this as someone expressing their taboo kinks—that happens a lot. However…this is coming from someone who works on a show that features an abusive sexual relationship that is supposed to be taken seriously. And yet, you have an artist who works on this show who has a kink for sexual assault and abuse and the creator of the show who hired this person is getting all cutesy about it. Are y’all starting to see the red flags here? 

If this was a show that didn’t take itself seriously and wanted to make some edgy humor similar to how Sir Pentious got railed by everybody in the nightclub in episode 6 (which also doesn’t help Viv’s case since these things are supposed to be taken seriously.) But that isn’t the case, it wants to have its cake and eat it too. You want to make this show highlight the dark side of the sex industry, Yet you also make a light joke about rape in the show while having someone who gets turned on by that to work on that same show. This also demolishes the message of the abuse even further when you have R2 and Vivziepop herself getting excited over “Angest” Pins of Angel Dust and Husk being chained to their masters. 

If this still doesn’t seem like a conflict of interest to you for trying to convey the point about sexual assault, abuse, etc. Imagine if I made a story about genocide: I display the horrifying realities of how a marginalized group of people being oppressed by the ruling majority class try everything in their power to kill, erase, displace, and steal from the people they hate so much and want to destroy to the very roots that no one will ever forget in gruesome detail, everyone from friends, family, and enemies are being systemically wiped out by these fascist’s monstrously distorted pursuit of glory. 

Imagine me making all that…but, ✨WE HAVE A NEW MERCH DROP✨ Now you too can get your starving mother holding her dead child in her arms grieving, not only that, I also meme and get excited about someone’s art depicting those same people getting persecuted and ethnically cleansed for sexual gratification, YAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!11 

Do you see how fucked up this is now?

But that’s not even the worst part about it. As more people started to show disgust and concern over this stuff, one of whom was a minor (I won’t say their name for their security you can read the thread yourself) this resulted in R2 saying some pretty fucked up stuff to this minor, using vulgar language directed towards this individual, not even doing the bare minimum of checking the person’s account to see if it was a younger person or not. It still wouldn’t excuse the behavior regardless of age, but this makes it all the worse.  

Now I will give credit where credit is due (which ain’t a lot here) R2 did apologize for their comments made, but it was more of a backhanded response, and when a user pointed out the flaws in this comment, they simply responded: “Stay Mad”. On top of having to victim-blame a minor for being uncomfortable seeing this imagery, Vivziepop herself also chimed in with the victim-blaming, claiming how R2 was “joking” and that “You can’t always know the age of a random Twitter account you’re clowning on”. Even though they had their age on their Twitter account which is wild to me. She also goes on to say they don’t have a lot of influence on the show and that they’re harmless. 

I’m not here to tell viv that R2 should be fired, I don’t think they’re a danger either, and it probably would’ve helped to just block R2 and move on from such gruesome imagery. That being said, that doesn’t excuse someone for sexually harassing a minor or for the creator of a show to double down on it. I hope R2 and Viv can learn from this experience and try to do better. 

I want to be clear here I’m not trying to “cancel” people for having different tastes regardless of how people view it on a personal moral ground. I’m not saying Viv has to fire someone because they think this way, I’m not even saying that you can’t have any moments of nuance about a difficult situation in your own way and cope with it, that’s fine, that’s healthy. What isn’t healthy is sexually harassing people online and begrudgingly victim-blame a minor for coming across this shit. And it doesn’t make your work look genuine when you have someone who works on the storyboards of your show who gets off on the very thing you’re trying to take seriously.  At that point, you’re not trying to make a serious story, you’re making a rape fantasy for someone. This wouldn’t be that big of a deal if this was supposed to be taken at heart as a real issue. 

If this was just this related incident that was the biggest controversy for Vivziepop, I wouldn’t bat too many eyes. But unfortunately, you’ve read the title, you’ve read the warnings, so you know this isn’t where it ends. 

3. SpindleHorse Workplace Misconduct

It’s not any news that allegations of misconduct at SpindleHorse Studios have been buzzing around since Helluva Boss was made into a YouTube series. These allegations have been met with both skepticism as well as a concern as to how things were going behind closed doors at SpindleHorse, but these allegations would grow and become more of a problem when animators who worked on Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel spoke out about it, giving their experiences about workplace culture, low wage pay, and fears of speaking out on these issues because of retaliation from Viv, her team or the rabid fanbase. Some of the employees and contractors even spoke out anonymously for fear of getting blacklisted and targeted by the community. That being said, it wasn’t always a nightmare for some people who worked at the studio, and some that worked there have mentioned it being a pleasant experience, but I’ll get to that later. All these things plus more are mentioned in a passionfruit article that I’ll link below for a further read. It’s pretty damning. 

But I’ll mention some of the keynotes that are worth mentioning:

Low Pay Wages on Clean-Up Animation

Users like Chai posted on January 5th, 2024 on Twitter how clean-up artists are offered a low pay of 35$ a second of rough animation. Not literal seconds mind you, but $35 a completed animation per second, that’s $1.45 for every 24 frames. For reference, according to ZipRecruiter: The average pay for a work-at-home animation clean-up artist is lower than this with a rate of $29 an hour nationwide

https://www.ziprecruiter.com/Salaries/Work-From-Home-Animation-Clean-Up-Artist-Salary#Hourly

(this isn’t an exact figure to go by for all clean-up artists nor do I know all the financial ins and outs of animation, so I may be wrong on some math here.) It's not as bad, but it's still low. One freelance animator mentioned that when Helluva Boss was on pause for Hazbin’s production, they had no choice to find another source of income so they had to deal with the low pay and stressful job that ultimately wasn’t even worth it in the end after finishing Hazbin Hotel. While this is nothing new in the animation industry (especially one where it's the most thankless and underpaid job), the wages can vary depending on the project, location, industry, etc it just goes to show that this is a recurring practice within the industry that really needs to change. Be it for animators or artists alike. It’s one thing to make a passion project with your closest friends and partners or people who need an extra buck and aren’t suffering, it’s another to offer up underpaid jobs with slave labor wages and then suddenly make it seem as if desperate people have a “choice” to work or not it's no more unacceptable than those who defend such practices. 

“The job was voluntary, nobody was being forced into taking less money”

This is a sentiment that is brought up a lot by Neylan in the article. I’m well aware that Neylan said they had a fixed budget and had to lock the budget to adapt rates for things to work out. Now I could understand this being something for newbies getting into work for the animation industry for a first-time experience, but to make it seem like this was a part-time job to work at is baffling to me, especially for something seen as a passion project, which to me, is a code word for work for me for free/less money. Not to mention, the notion of “no one is forcing you” is one that is echoed frequently in other abusive industries like the video game industry (despite these people having no other choice to find another job to survive.) 

No Human Resources

As of now, SpindleHorse has no Human Resources or dedicated HR person aside from Neyland himself who performs such tasks as coordinating and firing freelancers and works as the production supervisor at the company. Though he mentions that something they’re hoping to fix in the future. I guess it remains to be seen. 

 Fear of speaking out

It's not a surprise that people become weary when speaking out about their experiences in or out of SpindleHorse. Freelance artists such as Erin Frost wrote in a tweet thread before getting deleted about her experiences at SpindleHorse and her frustrations with people not believing her when being open about the unstable and abusive environment working with Viv and how she got a note sent by one of her lawyers as a scare tactic.

https://ben-the-hyena.tumblr.com/post/699242311996047360 

Artists Ken Cook and Nicholas Jordan also spoke out about the bombardment of harassment from fans. With Ken, making a whole pdf on their circumstances of crediting their work and ideas.

https://www.docdroid.net/zyvFyCb/kens-experience-pdf

The pdf also gives some transparent insight into Vivziepop’s workflow in conceptualizing and executing stories. As well as some horrible accusations against Ken such as grooming and trying to steal viv’s IP of Hazbin Hotel despite clearly stating that wasn’t their intention, on top of gaslighting and bigotry such as transphobia and acephobia. 

I could go on about Vivziepop’s history of manipulative and toxic behavior toward friends and peers, but for the sake of relevance, I wanted to keep it mostly tied around 2018-2024. When viv isn’t directing her venomous ire towards her colleagues that she doesn’t like or agree with, she directs it towards those outside her work/friendspace. 

Kedikatzen is an artist who made a webcomic back in the days of old that is now discontinued. Judging from the discussion, I’ll assume it was around anywhere from 2014-2018, but I’m not sure, Kedi/Katt was not only bullied by viv herself but got harassed by her zealous fans. All Kedi wanted was an apology but never received one, forcing her to delete her personal accounts and avoid the internet for a while before coming back in hopes of starting over, until she heard news of other people speaking out and wanted to also chime back in just to prove this wasn’t an isolated incident. In 2020, Viv was making big accusations of stalking, harm, and threatening to use lawyers against Katt (noticing a pattern?)  All while acting like the victim here when she clearly wasn’t. 

She also explains how Viv went to a con in Georgia at one point and met up with April, a person she had beef with in the past, and when April wanted to clear things up with no hard feelings, resulting in viv to tweet about April “stalking” her which in turn made her rabid fans send death threats to her which she deleted and then made an apology about.

But even when it’s not towards other creators, she’s also had a history of being very defensive towards her critics, often deflecting legit critiques, getting salty about criticism as a concept or critics as people, getting defensive about people just having slight gripes, etc. 

As someone who is a critic myself (I mean you are reading this) it's not surprising that you will come across bad critiques of things and that people will either be trolls or just assholes, but for those that have genuine criticism, viv tends to lump them all together despite saying she thinks the criticism is important for growth when it's obvious that isn’t exactly what she wants. I’ve sent tweets to her at one point calling out these bad takes on criticism, but that was ages ago and unfortunately, I don’t have those tweets on me—sorry y’all.

And now we get to our final and easily one of the most depressing segments of this post, which is the dark side of fandoms and the damage they can cause. 

4. Fanaticism

It goes without saying that the community for vivziepop has garnered some of the most abysmal, delusional, toxic, and manipulative fan base since Steven Universe if not worse. I’ve seen a lot of shitty people in fandoms, but this takes the cake of it being up there with the greats such as: MLP, FNAF, Steven Universe, etc. It’s quite amazing how such a community is so dedicated in all the best and worst ways.

But all jokes aside, the vivziepop community has had a long radioactive history of having the most deranged of fans sick themselves to those they deem less than worthy of respect or decency. So much so that some will even dehumanize others be it in or outside the fandom, and lose their shit over the most trivial of inconsistencies. Obviously, this isn’t supposed to be a sweeping generalization of everyone, just a focus on those who have lost their cool. 

This makes situations all the worse when the leader herself has something unflattering to say to someone she doesn’t like. Viv is known to both intentionally and unintentionally enable her fans to attack people, innocent or not. Now that’s not to say Vivziepop herself is all to blame here, nor does that mean she hasn’t made any… “attempts” to apologize, but it was more just playing the victim card and slapping some backhanded response on it. 

Though this is older she might’ve made more “apologies” over time, so if someone has a more recent example of this, please let me know. 

However, this leads us to the most crucial part of this post which is the story of Shay and how they took their life. 

The document opens with an introduction from a person named Liv who explains the story of how Shay was a young queer neurodivergent fan who got to be part of the community around the days of the Hazbin Hotel pilot, Livestreams, and Huniecast, Shay was a massive fan of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss that she would collect an abundance of merchandise in support of the show, holding Vivziepop to high praise as a creator. They would also share and like posts from social media to further spread their infatuation with the media. 

Those involved in the screenshots were part of a fan discord server dedicated to HH and HB and shared their love for specific ships like RadioDusk (Alastor and Angel Dust), this ship would be widespread in the server at the time until around the middle of 2023, with new members who had a focus on the HuskerDust ship (Husk and Angel Dust). This new inclusion of members began fueling flames with their support for their ship, creating a resentful environment towards RadioDust fans, this fueled the flames of what would be a digital turf war between ships in the server and the internet at large on different social media sites all from the same community, some bouts of which have been around for quite some time and continue to this day. 

On December 12th, 2023, Shay showed gratitude for an administrator stepping in to stop the barrage of harassment by HuskerDust fans over Shay’s comments on the ship made them uneasy due to the age gap and coerciveness of it. Shay felt that their moments of joy in the community just wasn’t there like the good old days with Ashley, Michael, and Ed, but now it's just resorted to ship wars, with Vivziepop herself partaking in these petty engagements and enabling the toxic mentality of the HuskerDust shippers. But despite all this, they continue to support viv and hold her in high esteem. 

Later in the year, Shay would pay for the ultimate package that was available at the time for early access to Hazbin Hotel ($80 no shipping) to show their support for the show and new cast but felt iffed by the growing pain that would be the HuskerDust shippers on Twitter, this was also between the time of the teaser’s release and trailer’s. As these HuskerDust shippers grew more zealous towards those who had different ship preferences like Shay, it made them step away from their position of being a RadioDust shipper in turn for something more middle ground in not wanting any ship to be on top of another. 

On December 11th, 2023, the conversation between Shay came back again expressing more disheartening feelings about the state of the fandom how they don’t belong anywhere, and how further in the conversation after some downtime, Shay feels out of place and like garbage and that they feel greatly disappointed about Vivziepop’s continued enablement of this mob mentality. 

This would be the same time the HuskerDust ship would be teased on Twitter and Instagram by the voice cast and animators, making an already overloaded community of rabid shippers go even crazier. Shay would continue to spiral into emotional distress. How they felt betrayed by Vivziepop for choosing one side and enabling their behavior, Shay expressed hopelessness and felt sick—this would be the last time they ever posted.

On December 13th, 2023, the Hazbin Hotel trailer dropped with praise from the community, especially with the HuskerDust fans in awe of this post, pushing the envelope further. https://twitter.com/HazbinHotel/status/1734999724397035963 

Eden (the one who took the screenshots) was concerned and tried to reach out to Shay, but made no progress with Shay’s accounts being deactivated, after Shay left the server, Eden followed suit the leading day and tried to contact them, however, it proved to be impossible since they didn’t friend them and sending a message only prompted the discord bot to notify Eden that they couldn’t message Shay since they don’t share servers anymore. Eden did however get in contact with a close friend of Shay’s known as Mari, and since then Mari had ceased supporting Vivziepop’s work after the incident.  

On December 14th, Mari got in contact with Shay’s sister as they expressed their worries of Shay’s attempt at suicide. Further screenshots that are mostly blurred show multiple attempts were made directed to the Hazbin Hotel team to call out such destructive behavior. 

None of them received any response from the team or Vivziepop herself. 

Mari and Shay’s sister would continue to keep in touch with updates on Shay’s condition until 26-27 of December, Shay died from serious gastrointestinal injuries from drinking household cleaning acid, causing her to cough up blood, and having been sent to the hospital on December 13th. The last screenshot messages include Shay’s sister and Mari in grief over the passing of not only a friend but a loved one. 

Liv further explains that they were a HuskerDust shipper at one point, but now feels a deep loathing and regret at such a title, their statements close with sorrow, and urge people to be wary of such dangers a fandom can cause. 

5. Conclusion

I didn’t really have plans on making this deep dive at first, especially seeing how there were a lot of moving elements to this saga, some of which were far too extensive to cover all the controversies, critiques, drama, etc. I wanted to make this as condensed and digestible as possible. Though I realize this wasn’t the best-formatted post, I guarantee this has some issues that can be fixed in the future (assuming anyone gives a shit). 

The point of making this post isn’t to “cancel” Vivziepop, but rather highlight the VERY consistent pattern of egotistical behavior that she has displayed over time, how she intentionally uses manipulative tactics to gain leverage over people and weaponizes her audience against those she disapproves off. Vivienne Medrano has not changed for the better and unless she takes a little self-reflection on her actions, she never will. If her silence on someone taking their life over the consecutive harassment and death threats from HER fans doesn’t ring any bells on how she really views her audience and other people, I don’t know what will. Vivizepop has shown everyone how she has no stability in running a full studio or maintaining a healthy social presence (indie or otherwise) and how she should invest in her personal demons rather than value fictional ones over others. 

If you are a fan of Vivziepop and her work or were on the fence about it before, I hope this provides some clear context as to why she “Gets non-stop hate” and that it would be wise to reconsider your loyalty or support for her at face value. I want this post to be an important message for those who still love Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, this isn’t about me being a “hater” but someone who wants you to be cautious just like I was when I first heard about these allegations. 

If you’re still not convinced about what I or many, many, many others have been saying for years. Perhaps it would help if I came from a more vulnerable position? (Not the most original but whatever)

When I was first introduced to Vivziepop’s work by my sister, I instantly fell in love with her work with her Die Young fan animation. Since then, I was never the same, and as I mentioned in my last post, I got indulged in her craft and was introduced to not only her community but the furry community as well. I kept tabs on her zoophobia comic and her other works, supporting her along the way. Vivziepop’s style of art and animation greatly influenced me over time and I propped her up as a major influence in my art and I still do to this day. One of my favorite characters of hers was Clarrisa, Fabian’s daughter from Zoophobia (we never saw her in the comic doe). Clarrisa would inspire me to create a character heavily inspired by her called Clair (I’ll more than likely work around the name to not make it as obvious) she was the first character I took seriously in my pursuit of art when I otherwise wouldn’t have cared or taken it seriously before. What started as one concept for a character with a fox based on another person’s character, would spark an entire list of stories with their worlds and characters—and I had Vivziepop to look up to for that. 

But knowing that this is the same person I looked up to as a source of inspiration, leaves a poisonous taste in my mouth that can never be washed off. I no longer support Vivienne now or in future unless she has shown that she is really willing to take major strides to improve herself. As it stands now, she’s left a legacy of pain conflicting with future potential with new creatives. I don’t ask for people to stop loving her work because guess what? I still love her work too in some areas, I just won’t support her anymore. (at least financially or influentially). 

If you are a fan of her work, own it and keep making and loving what you do, draw fanart, make redesigns, have your ships, write fanfictions, etc. Two realities can exist: you can enjoy someone’s work, but also recognize when someone is a massive piece of shit who makes donkey dooky. (Hello Warrior Cats fans).

Shit sun, I’m still making fan art for some zoophobia characters because I still love those characters or their designs, I ain’t special!

“You know, for the longest time I thought you were cool…”

Final Thoughts:

I honestly didn’t expect this uh…rant/analysis? To be this winded, I apologize if there are segments in here that are just a mess, if y’all have any constructive feedback, that would be appreciated. Or maybe I’m just a big meanie that needs to self deletus? Idk, I highly doubt this post will get much attention. I could’ve spent all this time and energy drawing my characters kissing each other or somthin. But here I am, making a totally original post about a creator I’ll never meet. But, if you are a vivziepop fan old or new and you feel like this post has done some justice or resonated with you, then I’m glad! I know there are some really good people in the community who aren’t alone on this and feel the same way, and I understand…I think. 

Anyways. I’ll just leave some sources here and give credit to the people who made these posts linked here, if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t really be in this position now to raise awareness on this controversial topic. Please support these people below, don’t harass anyone or be a massive bigot for those I critiqued or featured here, be civil for fuck sakes, and yeah. I hope y’all have a good one.

Rest in Peace Shay- 2003-2023

Sources:

[arimiadev]

recommendations of visual novels on sale for the steam winter sale 2023

steam's winter sale just started and will run for the next two weeks, so if you're looking for a new visual novel to try (or want to get into them), here's a lot that I've played that are on sale on steam.

umineko when they cry

the ushiromiya family returns to the family head's home on an isolated island for their annual conference with the intention of settling how his vast amount of wealth is divided. instead, though, a letter is left from someone claiming to be a "witch". with the ushiromiyas dropping left and right, the mystery behind everything remains to be solved.

I can't make a recommendation list without mentioning umineko. it's life changing. it might even trans your gender. it's hard to describe umineko, but just know that it's absolutely deserving of the "cult classic" tag.

notes:

kinetic/linear - no choices

VERY long

divided into two games on steam - Questions Arcs is the first 4 episodes and Answers Arcs is the last 4 episodes (8 episodes in total, play Questions Arcs first)

created by Ryukishi07, creator of Higurashi

fantasy mystery

ace attorney

follow phoenix wright as he embarks on his career as a lawyer to help people. meet a variety of clients and prove their innocence by collecting evidence, interviewing witnesses, and exposing lies in court.

ace attorney is one of the classic mystery visual novels, being a blend of point-and-click elements via investigations and visual novel storytelling. the steam port is a massive collection, combining the first 3 games (the original phoenix wright trilogy) as 1 game.

notes:

investigative gameplay segments, a good chunk of the story is point-and-click parts

VERY long for the whole trilogy- each game is around 20 hours long and the steam edition is 3 games

modern mystery with supernatural elements

ai: the somnium files

play as detective kaname date as he hunts down a serial killer using a cutting-edge technology which allows him to "psync" with a person, diving into the memories of others to solve crimes in a limited amount of time with the help of his AI assistant/eyeball Aiba.

aitsf is a lot. it's probably the raunchiest non-eroge game I've ever played and despite my low tolerance for dirty jokes I found most of it to be laughable and a fun experience, though I did play this with friends. if it's a miss for you, it's gonna miss you by a wide margin, but if it's a hit for you, you're going to be recommending it nonstop. either way you'll want to hit kaname date with a car.

notes:

long, around 25-35 hours

this game heavily relies on going back to prior choices via their branching menu to try other options in order to get the full story (and true ending). there are several endings to this game but you're meant to play through them all, not just one or two.

a lot of gameplay and interactive segments

sci-fi mystery

english voice acting

witch on the holy night

aoko aozaki is a highschooler who has to balance her class president, perfect grades life with her secret afterschool life of being a mage—a secret she has to keep at the risk of death. keeping this balance already isn’t easy but one day she gets a wrench thrown into it with the introduction of a transfer student, soujuurou shizuki, a country boy so out of touch that he’s never seen electricity before.

I love witch on the holy night so, so much. it's one of the most beautifully directed visual novels ever made with so much love and care put into each frame. the cast is wonderful (touko my beloved) and it's a must-read for anyone who likes modern-ish fantasy.

notes:

kinetic / linear - no choices

long, around 25-30 hours

originally written by kinoko nasu, one of the co-founders of type-moon and creators of fate/stay night. has some relation to tsukihime and garden of sinners but you don't need any knowledge of those going in

modern-ish (1980s) fantasy with lots of talking about magic

ghostpia

a snowy town filled with "ghosts" is where the young woman sayako finds herself trapped, feeling like she doesn't belong and wants to leave this town where no one dies.

it's hard to describe ghostpia. it's a surreal-ish story about "ghosts" where every character is quirkier than the last but every part is made with so much heart behind it. you never really know where the story is going, but unfortunately only 1 season is currently out on steam.

notes:

medium length, around 10 hours

very innovative and unique use of visuals and paneling

surreal-ish (sometimes violent) fantasy

please be happy

as a shapeshifting fox called a "gumiho", miho has traveled the world in search for a traveler who showed her kindness many years ago. afraid of sticking around in one place for too long, miho has never stayed anywhere for more than a few nights- but all of that changes when she arrives in wellington, new zealand and meets the barista/writer aspen and the vampire archivist juliet.

okay okay I had to recommend at least one visual novel I worked on. please be happy was a labor of love for our team that took over 3 years to make and is a slice of life story about love, trust, and what it means to be human.

notes:

medium to long, about 20 hours

2 romanceable ladies, aspen and juliet, and a plethora of side characters to meet via a map system

modern slice of life fantasy

english voice acting

WE KNOW THE DEVIL

find yourself back at summer camp with all the queer religious horror of it.

WE KNOW THE DEVIL is a short, atmospheric and slightly surreal story about 3 teens at a religious summer camp waiting for the devil. if you want something that feels familiar and otherworldly at the same time, this is right up your alley.

notes:

very short, about 2 hours

3 endings and 1 true ending

isolation, psychological horror

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this is just a handful of recommendations of visual novels I've played and enjoyed that are on sale right now on steam.

some of these titles, like please be happy and WE KNOW THE DEVIL, are also available on itch.io which is a website for indie games! they're also currently having a winter sale so a lot of indie visual novels are on sale over there too, if you want DRM-free versions of games while also giving a better revenue split to devs.