#off to go have a much needed cry
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EXAM SEASON IS FINISHED
#off to go have a much needed cry#everybody say wow sunny that semester sucked so bad good job making it through#see I gave you the script and everything
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Blame eechytooru for Beta Wally taking up so much free real estate in my mind. And blame work for as to why I am posting...MORE sketches. But! These were some Wally practice cause I'm never happy with how I draw him but also just...ya know. *Gestures to the art
Anyway. Beta Wally am I right? Yea??? Yea....
....Yea
#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#wally darling#welcome home arg#wally darling fanart#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#beta wally darling#wh wally#beta wally#I really wanted to color some of these if I'm very honest#but work is...destroying my motivation#Like I have so much I WANNA finish and draw but my schedule has been all thrown off and augh#*laying in the floor#so many sketches...so little time#Beta Wally's colors are so lovely to me though I NEED to color him someday please work please let me go#*shaking the bars of my cage while crying
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hi chat im going insane /lh
#snobrambles#GRGRGRGR (hi; future snob here. limbus canto 3 spoilers in tags!)#i will finish this i will finish this i will finish thi is that. dante on my dash hi dante#i need to also say that atm my favorite. subtle bit in limbus is yi sang showing up when his name is said on accident#bc . yi sang and ideal sound similar#so every time the term ideal shows up his sprite jsut. pops up and he is either “you called?” or “...”#and im obsessed ITS SO RIDICULOUSLY FUNNY TO ME AND IT SHOULDNT BE.#hell say literally nothing for ages and then shows up and its like “yi sang mentioned” and he disappears again#anyways. back on topic. i love rendering but oh my god i want to finish this piece im fighting wars not to post a wip#I WILL NOT POST A WIP. I WILL FINISH IT FIRST AND THEN I WILL FINISH MY OTHER DRAWINGS#man i love limbus the sinners are all so funny in their own ways#also wtf. canto 3. was insane what#IT WAS BRUTAL MAN. THERE WAS SO MUCH it was interesting#i felt. despair when saude and effie . died.#I HAD A FEELING. LIKE I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN IT FELT INEVITABLE#BUT JESUS. im so sorry fellas..#anyways off and on topic that limbus powerpoint wasnt kidding meursault really is the sitting on the bench meme..#also canto 2 was funny as hell#I WISH. WE GOT MORE OF RODYAS CHARACTER IN IT THOUGH. did love the crime and punishment refs though !!#i thought her gambling moment was cool as hell and i like that shes clever BUT MAN#I WISH SHE HAD MORE SPOTLIGHT ICL i was looking forward to it#but i enjoyed it nonetheless#god. ryoshu is so extra she did not have to drop that chandelier i love her#SHES SO FUNNY TO ME I LOVE HER why is she like this. ryoshu never change. barf on your hands#also love hong lu. he is hilarious i fear#THE ACCIDENTAL. PISSING PEOPLE OFF MAKES ME CRY EVERY TIME ITS GOLDEN#“is this in fashion” “my dog has a brooch like this!” JAW DROPPED.#also gregor is still. a big favorite. is he ok. someone help him. HE KEEPS FUMBLING AND ITS SO SAD BUT ALSO FUNNY#HE CANT STOP LOSING free my guy he needs a win 💔#tumblr please dont eat my tags i need to talk about don. shoutout to her mask slipping in canto 2. inchresting..
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If I could ask for some prayers, that would be lovely—I just found out that my grandpa is in the hospital but I can’t go to see him because he lives four hours away and I don’t have the PTO or the income to ask off of work, and on top of that I got asked to play keyboard for the worship band at the last minute AGAIN and none of the songs are in their original keys, but I don’t read music very well, so I’m sitting here manually transposing each song note by note from the keyboard loops and I’m honestly so tempted to tell them I can’t do it and they need to play with tracks
#why do I keep getting asked to do things last minute you ask? because I can do things last minute. unfortunately.#not to mention I make the communion bread and I kid you not THREE SEPARATE WOMEN came up to me after church telling me we needed more.#at the same time. after I’d just come back from checking the supply and confirming that I needed to make more. like I get that that#it was like being suddenly cornered#shouldn’t have ticked me off as much as it did but my gosh if you’re going to ask me to do something maybe trust me to do it??#and they’ve asked me to see if I can make it gluten-free which I did yesterday and the consistency of dough is horrible. did you know that#dough can be crumbly and sticky at the same time?#I wanna just lay on the floor and cry but nope I have to go to work
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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CR's Godly Option C: Who will go for it?
Spoilers for Campaign 3 Episode 119 below
Okay so there was a development.
After a long and painstaking dance of circling around the Predathos and Gods situation, we have reached the pivotal point. Bells Hells are fighting the God Eater, Imogen is still tethered to it, and the Gods are sending reinforcements to try and seal it again.
Sealing Predathos again is unlikely, since it required the Primordials before, and it'd only be a temporary fix. Most of Bells Hells are advocating for change within the relationship between gods and mortals as the Matron of Ravens had hinted, with all of them (yes, ALL of them, including Ashton and Dorian) wanting to prevent the gods from dying, but they also believe Predathos will get out either way. I think it's implied that defeating Predathos will force it to be suppressed within Imogen, that or it'll just discorporate and another Ruidusborn will become the vessel once it recovers its strength, but since it's intent on consuming divinity and can threaten to overwhelm her again, the third option was presented: to become mortal.
While the Matron explains that if the process is possible they will still regain their memories similar to how the Luxon and the mortality route they took in Downfall work, the gods will also need to be convinced of this outcome between death, departure, or depower. In this post I will discuss the potential of each god's reaction and willingness to enact this option C. I'm also thinking this under the impression that the gods will reincarnate, it wasn't fully clear that's the case but since this is meant to shift the relationship between gods and mortals long term I'd suspect it'd be a cycle.
We'll go alphabetically, also because we all know who begins with A.
Asmodeus, The Az-hole Lord of the Nine Hells Given that the Lying Cheating Whore Bitch that is the Lord of Terror, Lies, and the Hells has a massive shtick up his butt about mortals being lower than him, becoming mortal permanently is like a worst case scenario for Azzy M. He will be the hardest to convince, especially since as Lord of Lies he will have obscenely high charisma to resist potential persuasion rolls. The only opening is to appeal to his insecurities about his family, the deep but warped longing to be with them again, but even that is a paper thin line not even Braius can easily stay on the right side without the risk of a ripped-off face and a shattered spine. If he is convinced, however, there has to be the expectation that a betrayal or loophole is inbound.
Avandra, The Changebringer The Goddess of Change is someone you'd expect to welcome the very nature of her domain. Had FCG survived perhaps she would've been more present or be in the position the Matron is in right now for the story, since in hindsight she is similarly suited to be the vehicle of this path. Also a Goddess of Adventure, she might even be enticed with the idea of getting to partake in her own journeys, so a low amount of convincing is likely to be needed for this one, the Hells may spend more time chatting to check in on FCG with her instead.
Bahamut, The Platinum Dragon We don't get much info on the Platinum Dragon in the campaigns despite its looming presence and adjacency to the parties, its influence is central to Vassalheim, the religious capital of Tal'dorei, which has a big hand in a lot of Exandrian Politics. Given its strong sense of justice and protecting the weak, I think the Platinum Dragon would need some convincing that this is the right call - which can be difficult given the prospect of chaos that'd unfold from it - but would bend to its logic if the majority were in support, the Lawbearer and Knowing Mentor may be linchpins to encouraging them since they all have the air of sharing the same sense of pragmatism.
Bane, The Strife Emperor War and Conquest are Bane's bread and butter, and while peace can be established in the aftermath it is sadly in mortals' nature to fight and take from one another through violent means, bread and butter (metaphorically, but imagine if it were literally for a moment). For that reason I think Bane would be fine with mortality - war could perhaps be more fun if there's jeopardy involved and death this way is just a respawn. They may put on a front to be against it because it's for reasons of peace, but Bane would rather live to fight another day than never fight again.
Corellon, The Arch Heart The Arch Heart is a curious one. They wanted to leave, they told Bells Hells as much in the feywild, but the Matron is convinced that the Arch Heart simply wants change and would be open to mortality. Due to them having the chance to present their case for departure, I think the Arch Heart would take probably a medium level of convincing. As SILAHA they enjoyed the indulgences and hedonism of mortality and can do so again, but may feel a little slighted by Bells Hells not following through with their plan - they are a vain god after all. Overall I think they too would bow to the majority if it came to it, since their plan involved all of their siblings running with them.
Erathis, The Lawbearer There is a downside for the Lawbearer and Wildmother with mortality. As lovers, sacrificing their divinity will mean life apart from one another for long periods at a time, and by the time their memories are restored it can open up a massive can of worms if they found love with others as mortals. The Lawbearer would be one who'd acknowledge the logic, but resist the offer from an emotional standpoint - perhaps preferring to run or to die in each other's arms than to be apart. It'd take convincing the Wildmother to convince them, so it'd be a tall order for Bells Hells to achieve, but it can be done given how she bends more to logic - seeing as she's the one who proposed the idea of the Divine Gate.
Grummsh, The Ruiner Grummsh is a brute, a lover of blood and slaughter. As a result, the Ruiner will probably need as much convincing as Bane does; adverse to the logic of peace but secretly salivating the idea of future conflicts and being hands-on with it in a continual reincarnation cycle. Some convincing required to bypass the facade of hesitation, but not a lot.
Ioun, The Knowing Mentor Ioun has spent centuries collecting information and knowledge, in turn being a deity of prophecy and teaching, she may have already seen this coming. However, she hates secrets and reverse-engineering the forbidden knowledge that is the Ritual of Seeding may make her hesitant of the path. Some convincing is required, but The Knowing Mentor is a fair and logical god, and in logic she can be persuaded and understand that this is among the better solutions to the problem at hand. The Hells may also entice her with the hands-on approach of learning new things, possibly citing Dunamancy - through Ashton and their head maybe - since the gods treat it as foreign and alien.
Kord, The Stormlord The Stormlord is renowned for being badass and stoic, which unfortunately makes him hard to read in this situation. Unlike Bane and Grummsh, Kord doesn't lust after war and battle but prepares for it nonetheless. It may be hard to convince him though, because they could see the option as abandoning the fight - going against their tenets of strength and bravery in battle - but his awareness of Imogen can come into play in her influencing him, and if Bane and Grummsh's excitement can't be hidden it can be used as incentive to keep their warmongering at bay. He can be swayed, but not easily - it cannot be framed as giving up.
Lolth, The Spider Queen Lolth has a disdain for mortals on a similar maybe-slightly-lesser level to Asmodeus, she's possessive and proud of her power, and mortality would mean that she would have to confront the many enemies she has made - such as the Kryn - without the comfort of being out of their reach. She's also petty, and feuds with the Arch Heart and Stormlord can make it harder to convince her if they're already convinced - and vice versa. The Spider Queen strikes as someone who will agree to something so long as she benefits, curiosity can only go so far after all, she may even ask for some grovelling or a tribute/offering as a sweetener. It will be difficult, but the Opal incident is indicative that she fears Predathos, Bells Hells would need to infer that it's the most profitable option to her but also make sure it's not framed as her conceding to their request or being threatened.
Melora, The Wildmother As with the Lawbearer, the Wildmother will struggle to be convinced not because of the logic but because of the heart. Being separated from her lover is a big sacrifice she will very likely show her teeth to avoid, but in exchange she will get to return to her beloved domain properly once more. This may make the Wildmother easier to convince, or it could be harder given how she has trouble letting go of things - since she protested the idea of the Divine Gate in Downfall's epilogue, and the only thing stopping her from being a Betrayer was a reluctance to leave Exandria. It will probably fall to Orym, who has had experience being apart from people they love, to turn the scales and convince her, which will domino into convincing the Lawbearer too.
Moradin, The All-Hammer Not much is known about the All-Hammer, which is a shame since the past campaigns have had such inventive and artistic characters. That being said, I don't think the All-Hammer will need much convincing. Some convincing may be warranted since they are a God of Family and Legacy too, so they'd want to ensure that the rest of the gods are in agreement, but the All-Hammer admires creativity, ingenuity, and craft; and that is something Chetney has the edge to appeal them towards. A chance to see what more mortals can create, to unlearn and relearn various artforms for lifetimes, Chetney's own pursuit of legacy makes him the perfect one to relate to the All-Hammer, and thus there is limited convincing needed.
Pelor, The Dawnfather There have been two sides to the Dawnfather when in conflict in Campaign 3; on one side you have Ayden, the sunshine multiclassing do-gooder who clings to hope and humanity, on the other you have the Dawnfather that sent an angel to suppress Hearthdell and threatened to withhold power from Deanna for questioning him. Like the Stormlord, the Dawnfather could protest or take offence to the idea of becoming mortal permanently, as he could also see it as abandoning their sworn and solemn duties. Asmodeus and The Arch Heart paint him as chief among the 'but mah children' gods in their internal debate to stay or flee, which can be used in convincing him. But he is prideful, and stubborn, and wrathful, meaning it will require a lot of tact and careful wording to achieve, possibly moreso than it would the Stormlord.
The Raven Queen, Matron of Death As the one mulling over the method of enacting the plan, the Matron is a definitive yes who won't need convincing, she's already been convinced. Mortality is not new to her, and she has no disdain for it.
Sarenrae, The Everlight Aside from the All-Hammer and Changebringer, I think the Everlight is perhaps the one Bells Hells won't need to convince at all. The events of Downfall showed that she loves mortals, and loved mortality; the chance to live and love, to raise children, she loved it all and the moment she parted from it she missed it dearly. She might have a bit of guilt about leaving her followers like Pike, but she might also relish the idea of getting to know them on a more personal and mortal level too.
Sehanine, The Moonweaver The Moonweaver's tenets include to live untethered and free and to seize one's own destiny, which could act as a pro or con to encouraging the idea of becoming mortal. It leans more towards the pro side, since lifetimes of experiences can entice her against running away forever - and Fearne is the likely candidate to frame it that way if she is in need of convincing - but it falls to whether she has already made up her mind about which path she wants to take. If she's already chosen another option, it may be difficult to change her mind because it'll be something she doesn't want to do. If she's open to the idea there's little convincing, if not then it requires Bell's Hells to sell the idea.
Tharizdun, The Chained Oblivion Tharizdun is a strange case. The ancient primordial evil trapped in the Abyss - a visual representation of 'too much chaos' - that creates demons and aberrations with its mind to sic on Exandria isn't exactly one who was sent through the Divine Gate willingly. Mortality and reincarnation is likely something it'd leap at, freedom and the floor to corrupt and influence more directly, but also something the other gods would be greatly against them having given their efforts to seal it near the end of the Calamity. Because of this, the convincing would be for all the other gods - mainly the primes - rather than the entity itself, and thus it can be a deal breaker. As a non-Tengar god however it may be 'off the menu', and thus a compromise to keep it trapped may be achieved - it's actually a little unclear if Matt includes them and another non-Tengar god when discussing 'the gods' in this context, since they are included in the pantheon but not exactly a 'god'.
Tiamat, The Scaled Tyrant Another god eager to get out is Tiamat, Arkhan stole the Hand of Vecna for this sole purpose after all. 'Let no affront go unpunished' is a tenet that'd mean Tiamat would take little convincing to return to the Material Plane. In contrast to Lolth, paying back her grudges would be high on her agenda, as well as amassing wealth and her kin, it'd be more of a challenge to convince the Platinum Dragon of her release given how destructive chromatic dragons can be and have been in the past. So not much convincing on her side really, just opposition from opponents.
Torog, The Crawling King Torog's time as Zaharzht in Downfall was intriguing. Without it the jealous god of torture, jailers, and slavers would ironically be someone you'd expect to desire freedom from imprisonment, but Zaharzht hated being mortal and constantly harmed themselves throughout Downfall. Their monologue about peace implied that Torog may be the only god to welcome Predathos' consumption of them, which makes it difficult to say how much convincing they'd need and if they'd even acknowledge Bells Hells' offer in the first place. There's a chance they may bend to family majority, since Zaharzht had a soft - albeit warped and abusive - spot for Asha, but it's probably not something they'd like to agree to out of the three options.
Vecna, The Whispered One Centuries as a Lich leads to only 3ish decades of godhood, damn does it suck to be Vecna. The Whispered One is a god who would definitely reject the idea of returning to mortality, and someone who would probably rather take their chances and run. Much like the Chained Oblivion, being a mortal would probably be very bad for Exandria anyway, since he knows how to Lich himself and knows the Ritual of Seeding to undo the process anyway - Vassalheim has not quickly forgotten his attempt to raze them. He doesn't want mortality and the mortals won't want him, and without the sense of family that Asmodeus may have for the other gods he might be the joint-highest lost cause among the gods. However, the lack of familial ties and potentially also being off-menu might mean the gods are less enthusiastic about staying as a set with him in it, and would be willing to accept mortality without him. As a result, very difficult to convince, not a positive to do so, but there may be a willingness from other gods to just let him run.
Zehir, The Cloaked Serpent Our final god is a mystery, as obscurity is among his domain. We know more of Zehir's treacherous servant Uk'otoa (uk'otoaaaa) than we do of the god himself, but from what we do know is that they are unique in having the most enemies even among their fellow Betrayer Gods, Torog and Lolth. Their small amount of worshippers, mainly Yuan-ti and other snakefolk, are often described as ones looking to be equal to them, which may make it a tall order to convince Zehir to give their followers and enemies a better shot at killing them. There is perhaps the opening of playing to his pride, an assassin would be proud of their ability to kill, and fluffing his ego in order to 'prove' his skill among these bloodthirsty followers and enemies is a route that can be used with solid enough deception. Niche degree of convincing due to poor knowledge of him, but still possible.
#critical role#cr spoilers#c3 spoilers#c3 speculation#exandrian pantheon#predathos#bells hells#c3e119#I'm still for the idea above the others but going into detail has gone 'yeah them getting out would be bad once they remember themselves'#ground rules probably would need to be formed within the reincarnation cycle and maybe some limitations so it's not too much chaos#the other gods may not say no to just keeping the potential off menu gods locked up or fleeing in case Predathos does have a taste for them#honestly there's more gods maybe too proud to say yes than there are a flat no - which is a benefit to convincing those who need convincing#the Tengar lot will definitely have 'together or not at all' mentality - which'll make it tougher to convince the reluctant#I mean if we got ghost FCG during negotiations I may cry but it'd also be awesome narrative and character-wise#can easily see Ioun reincarnating into the Kryn to study beacons - then one day seeing Essek and being like 'Archivist Seth is that you!?'#it is coincidental that most of the Hells have an in or common ground for convincing a potentially hard-to-convince god#If (hoping when) BH defeat Predathos will the Tengari inside it be freed or be a part of Imogen? Would she then become a mortal deity too?#I do hope we get some decent chats though; the stuff we should've done earlier when trying to get more Relics of the Red Solstice#clearly there will be more finer details for Matt to look into but that'll present more unique lore and story beats to sink into
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Possible apartment is a bust, they were being a bit too disorganized that it was bordering on sketchy. But at least it means I get to spend my birthday eating cake and going to the bookstore.
#I do not NEED an apartment but would LIKE one so I can have my own space#now that my student loans are paid off#I had a good cry about it#it's been next to impossible finding anything around here let alone in my price range#it was hard to let go#delete later#at this point I maybe should just go ask the bank how much they'd give me for a house loan
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i feel as if im going mad so im going to just put this out here. real quick. movieunleashers starters ramble.
i cant stop thinking about how mudkip broke down in that one scene in "Typomaniac," when Chespin called him mean. for a second he lets his mask slip a little bit and to me he just... acts his age. he starts crying and calls chespin mean back. maybe im just hyperfocusing on this one detail but mudkip is about 12 years old.
and that just makes me wonder what happened in this guys life that brought him to where he is now. and it makes it all the more tragic how his whole world revolves around chespin, but he is the one bringing him the most pain. and how young he was when he died.
there is a large theme of growing up in "Rare Candy." the characters ages are emphasized in that particular episode, and one of the main conflicts is fennekin wanting to evolve faster.
the thing about characters in these stories is that they're not allowed to just be kids, to have a childhood. so many bad things happen to them. like. mudkips whole, Everything. fennekin when she was famous in typomaniac, or dealing with her own insecurities/pressure from society about her relationship w chespin. and chespin always having to shoulder his friends problems & always somehow managing to stay positive despite everything.
why cant they just. play video games. eat ice cream or something. go to the movies
at the end of the day, i think both mudkip and fennekin are characters who grew up too fast. by distancing himself from them, chespin refused to follow in their footsteps and just wanted to stay a kid.
good for him.
#starters movieunleashers#rambles#long post#mudkip starters#fennekin starters#chespin starters#NOT TO SAY THAT BEING 12 YEARS OLD ABSOLVES YOU OF ALL CRIME BUT GOOD GOD#i honestly think it was good for chespin to distance himself from them??? especially mudkip. holy cow#he seemed... happier(?) in wild oranberries but tbf its hard to say for sure#bc chespin loves doing this thing called “lying”#also. i saw the end credits sequence#not sure how to feel about it i do not have enough information to go off of#but i suppose itll make more sense... all in due time#but going back to what i said earlier i think the issues a lot more complicated#i worry about chespin that boys friendship is basically just “i can fix him!” like girl. no#THEY ALL NEED THERAPY#INCLUDING THE GANG FROM LAVENDER TOWN#*ESPECIALLY* THOSE GUYS#please. ill cry#i cant help but think this will all end in tragedy#i hope mudkip gets a good ending or at least a bittersweet one#like again. he kills people. but hes also like not even in high school and i feel bad for all of them#anyways IM SORRH GOR YHE LONG RAMBLE I RLLY LIKE THIS SERIES??? AND THIS THOUGHT WAS EATING ME ALIVE SO I RLLY WANTED TO SAY IT#hey gang. new hyperfixation#hm. i should also mention the “watching his close friend die on front of him and feeling responsible for it” to the list of chespins traumas#i domt think fennekin was a “bad friend” as much as i think she just had her owm things toing on#and its entirely chespins choice to dostance himself from her
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singlehandedly cornering the incredibly niche jean vicquemare pet regression market. [guy whos baring his soul]
#[walks away middle fingers up woth the shirt that says LEAVE NOTHING BUT A TRAIL OF POOP]#sorry i get weird abt posting art thats like. not normal.#jean vicquemare#kim kitsuragi#pet regression#disco elysium#[crying anime girl pic] IM SORRY FOR PROJECTING ON JEAN. IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.#also second pic is kim agere. bc he deserves it. he needs a break to just go play w his planes#ALSO NOBODY MENTION THAT FIRST PIC THE PLANE FALLS AND IS IN A COMPLETELY DIFF POSITION I J. i dont have the power in me rn to fix it but it#its pissing me off so much. so im just gunna sit here n tremble and tell u guys not to look at it.
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I am going to shoot myself in the head

#I feel so helpless and clueless rn I feel like I’m going to fail my entire academic journey#Nothing bad has happened this week (besides my sis and mom getting rlly sick) but I just feel like I know nothing anymore#Am I a dumb stupid fuck#I have yet another exam tomorrow and I thought I loved the subject but suddenly I realize I didn’t understand anything#Trying to take down notes but I have literally no material to work with only my book in which I’ve made over 50 errors#I don’t count them I just know it’s over that number#I haven’t showered I’m trying to do homework I’m trying to take down notes and I’m also trying to take care of my sis bc she’s very sick#I bear a cross far too big for my size I feel like I can’t handle anything at all#Jesus christtttt where is old me when I need her I would’ve tanked this shit so easily but now I’m just crying and whining#i need to stop thinking about how I was so much better before but I can’t stop#I really was so much more than a spineless piece of shit what the fuck#Ghhhh mitski you were so right#I was so young when I behaved 25 yet now I find I’ve grown into a tall child is so very real mitski#Lately I’ve been crying like a tall child yeah keep it up mitski sing ur shit I will jump off of this ledge I’m on yeah#Clawing my skin offffff I wish I could tell someone irl#I still haven’t written to my friends parents so they could help me#but I don’t have the time to make a word doc ab everything I go thru and how I feel#And they might not help me#I just want to crawl a hole in the ground and wait to become a sprout to become a pretty flower I don’t wanna be living this shit no more#Vent#vent post
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girl i had huge crush on in school who was a very good friend to me she's so smart and wonderful and kind just told me she's proud of me for inquiring about a breast reduction i literally started crying what the absolute fuck I'm so gay and so deprived of love in my daily life what the fuck kck .?? HELLO??
#yknow when your whole body freezes bc youre struck with the realization people SEE you and CARE about you#my fightflightFREEZE kicked in so hard all i could do was cry and pretend to act chill texting back sowkwowkwl#at one point i thought abt going through gender affirming means for a reduction (vs plastic surgery) but THATS ILLEGAL NOW <33333#😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#THIS IS WHERE I VENT NOW OK PLEASE BLOCK THE NOT TS TAG LMFAO#not ts#me @ myself: girl this is not the time or place#also me: IAOAKQKW 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🫨🫨🫨😭😭😭‼️‼️😭😭🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🫨🫨⁉️⁉️#like I'm proud of myself too :)#i wish I'd done it sooner like everyone told me to. like this has been a reality for me since i was 12 or 13#when ppl talk about me they always mention my boobs. family friends teachers peers#at a funeral for a loved one when im 13 and an elderly relative brings up breast reduction surgery#but i was so scared (i have a surgery phobia and also extreme control issues when it comes to my body/safety) that i put it off#and now i am forced to be stagnant or else i cripple myself. which is a life i dont want to live#i dont want to lie in the floor unable to move bc my sciatic nerve is crushed btwn vertebrae.#crying hysterically bc i think ive paralyzed myself and there's no one to help me#being unable to dance or play volleyball or lift weights again.#i want to run :( for the first time since i was 8 i want to be able to run..#and that's just medical stuff. chronic pain stuff#that's not delving into gender identity or how this has destroyed my mental health in 7 billion ways since puberty#turning 25 this is the 1st time i feel like an adult and a Person. & i realize i need to accommodate myself & my own happiness#if i want to enjoy the life i have.#like i cant keep procrastinating my life#for a long time i've been like “my life just feels like procrastinating suicide” & that's very true. & i dont want to live that way anymore.#it's time i do things for myself. because i'm the only one who can. i can't live for other ppl anymore. it's destroying me.#this went off the rails sorry#i just wanted to make a quirky post abt the gay experience but it's much deeper than that and#i wont un-deep my thoughts and feelings for an internet post :) i am real & messy & multifaceted and#i seek for others to See me :)
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#i promise i'll be active again when t3 stuff comes out#im still very milgram pilled but its very much a plate of corn type of situation. i don't have anything else to Say i just like to go insane#about it#also the winter blues hit hard#but we move! it is officially spring and we have survived#nothing has really happened in my life though#i got a cd player today as a very late birthday present so i had fun :3#i need to get interpol cds cuz rn im surviving off of obstacle 1 from a jukebox cd#which um idk if they still make jukebox cds but. they should#anyway obstacle 1 is an amazing song but like oouvhh i want a turn on the bright lights cd so bad#Need to listen to the full album constantly on loop and stare at the pyshical cd in my hand and cry like a stable person#i shall find it i shall i shall#i hope you all are well
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I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᵕ—ᴗ—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative—#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#🌾#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
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Every day I wake up, I'm full of inspiration and ambition, I lollygag a bit, I kinda skirt around it, I actively avoid The Thing I WANT to do. Then I just kinda give up and do something else.
#idk what's up w this but like. the more intensely i WANT the more i can't bring myself to do it.#like feh example like you'd think bc it's ALL i'm on about. i'd be deeply IN the source material#and i have felt i've been away doing my own thing for too long i need to revisit it. i Need to#but for some reason it's unbearable. not bad. i just can't bear it. i do NOT know what's up w that#i wanna keep listening to a playlist too (hoping it's still up) but like. i broke away. and i am struggling to return.#AND LIKE. BEYOND FEH. i feel this about video games in general like i have to do something that requires no commitment.#labyrinth of galleria was great for this. for some INEXPLICABLE reason. it is just a COMPLETELY different experience#like. the feelings i feel when playing galleria vs like etrian odyssey where i'm VERY attached to my guys#the most upsetting side effect is i feel like i'm losing alfonse's voice like i feel like i used to be able#to mimic his speech patterns PERFECTLY. but everything just feels off or not cleaned up enough#and again i can't fucking bear it. like i am almost going to fucking cry about it. like what is wrong here.#like WHY can't i get myself to DO. THE THINGS. I LIKE. THAT BRING ME JOY. THE COMMITMENT.#i think i'm also worried like i don't wanna get to the point where like. my blorbos are unrecognizable.#spent too much time in my head and now they're all warped and weird. but like. like. for some reason.#esp if i feel this INTENSE fucking affinity it's like. i get in this weird headspace where can't look directly at it.#i should do ANYTHING else. what is my fucking PROBLEM.#does anybody have a cure. or do i just give up forever.
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#Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#Mmmmmhhh#I had to step away and do something very quick after watching the episode so now I'm afraid I forgot all of it lol#Okay thoughts:#I'm afraid I'll keep saying this every time. Do not. Give me. An amv opening. Don't do that. Postpone your airing date. I don't care#I feel like I wasn't as pissed with it when they did that for s3 but it's probably a case of the s3 opening at least looked somewhat–#better (??) + you can make a mistake once but don't think I will let it slip a second time#Other than that... To be fair this episode was animated fairly well. I think you can really notice a big quality drop after the–#Ranpo-realizing-who-Kamui-is sequence but overall it's more than okay.#The colours of the ship irk me a little but to be fair I never thought colours were b/sd anime strong point...#This episode was sooooooo political in so many ways I could literally talk about it for hours#(don't test me I'm not kidding. Talking about politics in anime for hours is something I've done in the past and will do in the future.)#(Then again I study/think/breathe politics pretty much 24/7 so is that really surprising... )#I need to write an essay on Fukuchi's speech alone. The public speech communication techniques [redacted Italian politics comment].#The way he's welcomed [redacted eu parliament comment]. Unfortunately I don't have time for it but breaking it down very quickly#1. Suggesting to unify defences worldwide is INSANE. No one would ever take it. Probably going to be cynical here but there's one (1) thing#states care about and it's the independence of their own sovereignty (that is: no one has the right to come and tell what must be done–#within one's borders). Eu has been trying to do exactly that (unify defences) for decades to no avail. Nato is on the brink of crumbling–#down. It's just... Such a distant perspective from how the world works right now? Idk.#Which brings me to 2. Even if it's deeply inconsistent with how world politics work the bsd un perspective is still very coherent with–#a latter thesis brought up in the manga that is “countriest tend to merge and come together” which is. Very anti-historical if you ask me–#but idk. Beautiful to imagine I suppose.#What else uhm... I liked the drawings this episode... Even Atsushi was back being pretty at some points... (Generally not really a fan of–#what the style in the later seasons came to be). Also 55 Minutes reference ‼‼‼#I like Fukuchi's character so much......... I love idealist characters... And the inherent loneliness... The longing... The yearning!!!!!!#I love him so. Oh and I LOVED Akutagawa. I thought his entrance wouldn't have impacted me after all this time (and after knowing–#what episode 3 will be lol). And yet it was such an emotional moment!!!! What do you mean Atsushi is scared to be alone and Akutagawa is–#coming for him!!!!!! I'm crying all my tears. And Akutagawa was so cool in the end!!! By heart was beating so fast!!!!!#It's the etheral blurred light...#The way he still manages to come off so cool despite being inherently pathetic is nothing short to miraculous
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nevermind my hype and excitement is dead this morning and i want nothing more than to scream super super loudly into the void or maybe even just at people that fucking annoy me. wish i didn't have to exist to be honest.
#got about 4 hours? less? of sleep and i am ready to commit homicide#my mum decided that 8:45 on a saturday is a good time to... clean the bathroom door? oh and drop half the contents of our bath shelf#and then get frustrated at ME for being frustrated at the noise! like uk houses aren't fucking rented out filthy as fuck anyway#we clean obviously but she was like “the door was a bit yellow people must think we're disgusting!”#ma i can assure you i've stayed over in much worse places. have you seen an average student house? we were damn good all things considered#god and someone irl is fucking me off so badly as well stop sending me fucking promo messages for the event you psycho#i'm the fucking photographer!!! obviously i'm gonna fucking be there!! stop making me feel like i need to buy a goddamn ticket#sorry this is such a tag rant but i want to cry my eyes out i feel absolutely fucking worthless and i'm hungry as fuck too#didn't have dinner last night because i got so fucking pissed off by my mum...... no i won't go into it there's no point. fuck.#it really is a few hours of decent mood and the rest of the time i want to either kill someone else or myself there is no fucking inbetween#can't verbalise this either so off to the tumblr void it goes where maybe 1 person will see and maybe say “so sorry” and i'll thank them#and we'll move the fuck on because what else can you do#et speaks#rant post
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