#omg… courier… help us…

[averagepsychouser]

The NCR when they see I’ve chosen to kill the president again

[perfectfangirl]

notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep7

• the beginning of this episode shows two characters dressed in gear that's very ncr [new california republic] and to me, it's a very fallout: new vegas scene and fallout: new vegas thing • a father and son of lead farmers. depicted as honest, humble folk. oh cooper's here sitting at their table in their house eating their dinner 💀 • the man, adam, calls for his daughter, sandra. cooper continues to eat the delicious, nutritious meal. adam has a horrified expression on his face • sandra, a young girl, walks over and gives cooper something to drink. she... appears unafraid of cooper. she appears to treat him as one would a guest. cooper says "thank you, darling"--- i almost forgot about this but this was the nicest thing he has said post war to anybody in this show

• lmao the wasteland thinks so little of ghouls, this guy thought this man had cooked and eaten his daughter 😭 • "oh, wait... you thought...? come on now." cooper responds as he laughs at the thought, the wasteland and ghoul perception is that bad omg help • adam tells sandra to go outside. tbh i am starting to believe the theory cooper is much more nicer to women and girls than he is males but i digress anyways • cooper seemed to genuinely laugh and say a nice thing for once to someone here, the lucy juice must be working • "lead farming, huh? why, hell, i probably still got some of your lead in me somewhere." i cannot understand what cooper is talking about here. i was trying to figure if they knew each other like that but i wasn't connecting enough and feel like i am missing information again. • cooper and adam may seem to know one another but cooper came to ask adam about moldaver • "i'll tell you anything, as long as you leave us in peace." sigh

• adam looks like he has a scar on his face, wonder where he got it from • cooper inquires about how many kids adam has. adam reveals the oldest ran off to be a part of moldaver's movement and calls moldaver "that madwoman in the hills" • cooper asks adam if his oldest is named roofus. adam mentions he never said his oldest's name and cooper deduces the young male beside adam is tommy • tommy looks afraid and looks like he gulps as adam asks him "what did you do?" • cooper saying "well, you see, daddyo…" has got to be like the fifth time he says "daddy" in this show 😭💀, like what is his obsession with referring to people's fathers this way [time to hurt? probably because he's been searching two hundred years for the person who use to call him that so that word is always on his mind anyway 😞]

• cooper unfolds the letter and is it revealed to have a blood stained hole in it, adam's older son roofus got adam's youngest son tommy mixed in with moldaver's dealings, roofus was the one who sent tommy caps to pay a courier to transport siggi safely to moldaver • "but my problem is, by the time i got this letter off your brother, it was a little bit hard to read." cooper says holding up the bloody letter hole as he uses an eye to peer through it--- cooper you scary mf 😭 • "now, you give me the location, and i'll be on my way." cooper states. tommy tells his father sorry. tommy is so young. adam begins to plead with tommy to tell cooper the location. tommy replies "i didn't want to spend my life digging through dirt. i want to build something and we have the chance…" before tommy can say anymore, adam implores tommy "tell him what he wants to know! he's gonna kill us all! including your sister." [don't think i believe that last part but] • my question is… i wonder why the letter wasn't written in code… • "she's at the observatory" tommy says in the calmest sounding voice. moldaver's location is revealed just like that • how did cooper know that tommy would want to come after him? has he seen this movie before? • i suppose revenge is an obvious motivator for tommy on cooper for killing roofus but it not also being something adam or even sandra would pursue is interesting as well [they're not mixed in with moldaver and she's a young child he has to care for] • adam saying he won't ☹️ • before tommy can grab the rifle, cooper shoots him. cooper slowly gets up, reholsters his gun, gathers his things, puts on his hat, and departs without another word • weirdly not convinced tommy is dead, it looks like a shot to the shoulder. he just doesn't seem like it but i digress • adam is left crying with his sons' choices, being left only with sandra

• cooper continues his journey in the desert, his expression is a little enigmatic to me but. he inhales a chem under the baking sun • found it so curious cooper had the thought to take his hat off when entering someone's house? this was the first time. it got knocked off at sorrel's outpost and stayed on for all other indoor scenes. parallel this with him pre war going to moldaver's meeting at hollywood forever cemetery with a hot on and taking it off by the time the meeting starts [such a gentleman! 💀] • as cooper treks across the wasteland, moldaver speaking in the meeting in pre war is overlaid. almost as if he was remembering it • "what's it about california that we all came to this place?" i don't know but that place fucking rocks • cooper goes into moldaver's meeting with preconceived notions to begin with, he's already squirming in his seat when she begins her speech • "when you think of the promise of the american dream, you think of california. but it is just that, a dream. it's not real. we were told the atom bomb meant the end of war. that didn't work out, did it? we were told america's always getting better. it's always moving toward a better future. but the future is getting closer, and we can see it. their "better future" is a cliff's edge. and it's coming up fast, isn't it?" moldaver talked for a few minutes and told not a single lie. not a single one. • moldaver's quote in particular "their "better future" is a cliff's edge" is one of the most realest meta statements in the show, it's too good--- • "these soldiers that we're fighting abroad, their families, we have more in common with them than we do with the people here in power, the real enemy" is the final straw for cooper. he decides it's time for him to leave. but not before quipping "that's about all the horseshit i can take." • moldaver pauses her insightful and real ass speech to ask cooper what he said. so he repeats himself. moldaver hits him with a "i didn't realize america's favourite gunslinger was so sensitive". this draws a laugh or two from the attendants. it's poking fun at that manufactured hollywood persona of him being this manly man i guess. what i do take notice is that yes, cooper is sensitive. we know that. he is both sensitive about his principles and sensitive about the principles of others and the critique of such [i.e. the next conversation after this meeting ending up being about him figuring about him spying on his wife because moldaver asks him to interrogate his morality and barb's] • cooper then says "i have my principles, miss williams, that's all." isn't it crazy that cooper use to be someone that even when he disagreed with someone fundamentally, he was still respectful and decent? he had a whole argument with barb and she raised her voice more. compare when cooper got mad at lucy when his vials got crushed in the bait scene. he yelled then pulled his gun on her. lucy literally had to explain how absurd he was being in doing that because her not wanting to be bait and her using his bag to defend herself was not unreasonable. the gap is almost astonishing. that's the same guy. use to be. • [moldaver use to go by the last name williams, i see]

• cooper keeps responding but attempting to leave while he does but again moldaver pokes and prods. "uh huh. and those principles of yours, how much did vault tec pay to take them off your hands?" oh he's getting flamed now • lmao they show the meeting attendants playing tennis watching cooper and moldaver go back and forth • "well, this is america. everyone has a sponsor and, uh, i'm not ashamed to earn a living." "vault tec is the largest company in america. there's a lot of money in selling the end of the world." "well, i'm sure there's a lot of money in selling a political ideology that ends in breadlines." "fascist" is this not my college sociology class, good god--- • subtitles coming in clutch again! because the camera pans so i can't see who says it but i full well assume it was moldaver who called cooper a fascist, didn't even hear it the first watch • no wonder charlie intervened. it got a little heated forreal. didn't even know they made a near direct wwii? reference like that idk • charlie is so embarrassed, he says "this was a mistake. we'll be leaving" 😢

• if not for the "fascist" statement, i would've thought this was another tuesday afternoon for moldaver. but she thanks charlie for bringing cooper. then drops the plot twist that she knows barb like that • i do not! know! why they made cooper smile in this scene, but thank you director • cooper and moldaver take a walk and we discover that barb's division at vault tec acquired moldaver's research company. and before all this, they were developing technology that was hard to monetize. the cold fusion. the infinite energy. the reason for the entirety of season one after the bombs drop. still. • "that's what i was on the verge of achieving when vault tec swept in and bought up every company i'd ever worked for" [spooky af, fellas!] "every one of them? so what are you, a millionaire communist?" cooper sarcastically replies with. • moldaver then says "hypocrisy is like violence in your movies. if you only let the bad guys use it, the bad guys win." cooper then goes on "yeah? i, uh i got a little showbiz secret for you. a good bad guy doesn't see themselves as the bad guy." this show is sick because this could go for cooper, barb, bud, hank, lucy, maximus, the brotherhood of steel, vault tec, china, i could keep going, help

• moldaver says something else i find unsettling "america has been locked in a resource war for over a decade. vault tec bought the means to end that war, the same war you fought in. so they could put it on the shelf. all because it didn't fit into their business model." the revelation is nutty • moldaver basically asks for cooper's help in getting the resource back [by spying on barb] • actually super crazy how easy it was to get cooper to spy on barb but at the same time... he's been questioning and doubting. we all already know she keeps stuff from him. plus the "no dogs allowed in the vaults" was the tipping point • the way cooper looked at the listening device and his bewildered? smile slowly fades from his face once he realizes the implications • him responding with "good luck with the revolution" was funny gldldl • moldaver reveals the real reason people are being called communists "i'm not a communist, mr. howard. that's just a dirty word they use to describe people who aren't insane." • this whole scene still got me wanting answers for so much. i still want to know how moldaver made it to the wasteland and how is it that destiny placed cooper to help her get her resource back pre war but now in the post war wasteland, cooper is bounty hunting her. wouldn't be surprised if there's more moldaver flashbacks in future seasons

• lucy is unknowingly fucking up the rotation in vault 4. overseer benjamin [in a move that maybe should've happened to begin with 😭] shows lucy the tape of vault 4's experiment • "we let you into our home. tended to your wounds, gave you food and water." birdie informs lucy. second viewing makes me feel so bad for all that havoc they caused these already traumatized and victimized people like • "but you had to go to level 12" please somebody write them a review and change how y'all handle this for newcomers 😭 • lucy thinks the residents of vault 4 are taking people and experimenting on them. but she is wrong. she got it all wrong • overseer benjamin and birdie had to kinda retraumatize themselves and be vulnerable for lucy to get it • as the tape plays, lucy asks "what is this?" "your history" birdie says--- oof • lucy getting another disillusionment dose this time as a video of vault tec's fucked up experiments

• lmao the tape is so fucked up but funny--- doctor lloyd and doctor cassandra hawthorne are clinically insane scientists with no moral compass and a villain complex. ironically they starred in the vault tec vault ads with cooper, their vault being the one where they run a sort of scientocratic technocracy in the wake of nuclear warfare. their experiment did not succeed. or... maybe it did but not because of them but because of vault 4's victims and shady sands survivors • doctor lloyd begins the tape with "ok. overseer hawthorne. final log entry. at this point, it would be irrational of me not to acknowledge that these may be my last words" he looks scared but also frantic, like something is coming after them [and it so is] "but despite our results here, i want to reiterate that a society governed by scientists..." he is interrupted by doctor cassandra trying to barricade the door. she calls him "honey" hehehe "really is the ideal social structure.." it is not. 💀

• doctor lloyd, what he's saying, is like farce. how is this, a society governed by scientists an ideal social structure? when they are being revolted by the very people they experimented on • "what happened here should not be used as a case study for what happens when scientists are given unregulated control." lmao we know it is though • some of doctor lloyd's final statements being vault tec corporate managerial evil "and hybridizing humans with radioactive resistant species still has potential. our test subjects were less compliant than we expected" they could've used an ethics oversight committee but anyways 💀 overseen benjamin's great uncle peter ate doctor lloyd and doctor cassandra tf up • almost wonder if great uncle peter was the same gulper that swallowed siggi's head lol

• overseer benjamin is saddened by rewatching the footage as lucy expresses confusion between the tape and the scene she saw herself on level 12. "i don't understand, in the lab, i saw your doctors..." lucy trails before birdie finishes "trying to ease the pain of the poor souls your people lured into this place." now the operative word in this statement is "your". does birdie know what vault lucy is from and what it means and what they've done there? or as a shady sands surviving wastelander is she talking about people born in the vaults who got there because of vault tec? • birdies goes on "his ancestors were used as lab rats. by the original residents of vault 4. until the lab rats rebelled." • lucy feeling really stupid and bad apologizes immediately. lucy tells them her vault is simply not like this. overseer benjamin asks lucy what their vault experiment was. lucy states there is no experiment. again i say, vault 31, 32, 33 experiment is a success--- overseer benjamin and birdie exchange glances. every vault has an experiment.

• "your ignorance cannot excuse your cruelty. you have infected our home with violence." is such a banger coming from birdie, it's so therapized • birdie tells lucy she'll pay the price for all this, guards come and seize lucy, put a black bag over her head, and take her away. as lucy is hauled off from storage, she pleads with her captors "please, please, i'm a good person" look how slippery this slope has gotten • lucy wants to do the right thing. and yet. has found herself being the offender in this situation. • maximus is in the lap of post apocalyptic luxury as he sees lucy being lead down the hallway in front of his unit. he wordlessly vows to do something about it 🥲 [ok knight in shining armour] • the way maximus is eating the popcorn in this scene lgdgldlf

• meanwhile! a secondary character is in possession of siggi's head 😭 • dogmeat is pulling on the squire equipment thaddeus is dragging because siggi's head is in it 😞 • thaddeus has been hobbling across the wasteland with dogmeat and this squire pack, he stops to sit inside the trunk of a rusted car. the full extent of thaddeus' injuries are shown as he carefully exposes his mangled as shit foot • "oh shit. i'm gonna fucking die" thaddeus says realizing his foot looks so goddamn bad lmao 😭 • dogmeat being a dog starts licking thaddeus' eviscerated ass foot, to his disdain • thaddeus starts? berating? dogmeat? 😭 "you know what? if you were a person, you wouldn't have any friends, you realize that?" not a bully talking like thisss • thaddeus pulling out siggi's head "this stupid fucking thing. oh, you want this too, huh?" everybody wants this. guess what? it's mine." and not for long • "you think everything's for you. it's pretty selfish, actually, you know that? bite what you want to bite, go where you want to go. it's always something." why is thaddeus talking to this dog like this, like how lucy was talking to that mr. handy 😭

• i do not like that thaddeus stuffed dogmeat in the nuka cola dispenser leaving her to die--- this show had somebody eating another person's uncooked flesh but this move upset me because dogmeat ain't got opposable thumbs 😭 • sure thaddeus made sure dogmeat could breathe but he was annoyed with her, he so wasn't coming back 😭 like that's a baby • thaddeus' plan is to contact the brotherhood of steel about the head and gain glory from it • you know what's wild about thaddeus putting dogmeat in the nuka cola dispenser is that dogmeat could have easily attacked thaddeus and killed him before all this. so it's really so much she got stuffed in that thing, she was whimpering and everything, please--- • it's so curious that in this scene, it looks like it's both snowing and raining

• lmao so lucy thinks she's about to get executed for her crimes against vault 4 • also can you blame her? they're all chanting in a room with her restrained in the center across from a mf scimitar 😭 • while the audience is chanting eating popcorn, lucy is pulling at and gnawing at her rope restraints lgdgldfl • birdie begins during this time "we are all survivors here. lucky enough to have found this sanctum of peace. of tolerance. it doesn't matter where you come from or what you believe. you deserve safety. unless... you threaten that peace." looking back, birdie told not a single lie and again • overseen benjamin picks up the huge scimitar, raising it "for causing harm to a fellow survivor, you are hereby sentenced to death... by banishment." lucy flinches but then realises as overseer benjamin slams the apparently dull scimitar on lucy's restraints. this was all ritualistic and ceremonial gdldlldg • noticed the doctor lucy burned earlier is also shown in the crowd cheering, he has a patch on his face, he seems ok 💀 • lucy expressed surprise at them letting her go, them not exactly realizing where she's been and maybe assuming she's only just been mostly in her vault. "you'll be killed almost immediately on the surface by lord knows what." lmaooo "that's why we're giving you two weeks of supplies to take with you" 😭 • lucy is being banished and given supplies, it's so crazy like • [overseer benjamin thanks the vault dweller for handing him the supplies, so less of a jerk here lol] • they want lucy gone immediately tho 💀 • lucy realising by association for maximus so she says "my friend really likes it here. and he's a good person. he deserves to be somewhere nice and safe, like this. i know i'm not really in the position to be asking for favours but... can he stay?" lucy is really thoughtful and selfless here. but y'all knew that 🥲 • ironic that lucy is banished and attempts to vouch for maximus' character, meanwhile, maximus steals that whole vault's fusion core to rescue lucy--- guess who else getting banished 😭 • why is the room to the fusion core not guarded though fsgkdkg • lucy tries to warn maximus but he goes on a mini rampage in vault 4, causing chaos, throwing people around, wasting food, having residents cowering in fear. all this because he thought lucy was in a pickle 😭 • all maximus has to say for himself is "oops" and "sorry" and "maybe somebody check on him" and the guy is not moving lmao • out on the surface lucy and maximus argue about maximus taking vault 4's fusion core. backup power would only last a few days and lucy demands he return it. maximus' explanation is he needs the fusion core to power the power suit. lucy tells him giving it back is the right thing to do. maximus explains he can't be a knight without the fusion core. lucy pointedly tells him he's not really a knight if he steals anyways. • maximus wants to use the armour to help lucy and in relinquishing the fusion core back to vault 4, it may mean not finding hank. without a single moment's hesitation, lucy says "if my dad found out that i destroyed an entire community to save him, that'd break his heart."--- how cruel the irony and parallel and reverse • it makes her reaction at the observatory that so much more soul crushing knowing hank didn't think twice bombing shady sands. that he wrecked a whole community in regards to her. that she never even considered it meanwhile he's done it at least twice • lucy talks maximus into doing the right thing ™

• back in the hawthorne institute building, maximus drops the fusion core back to vault 4. lucy asks maximus "thinking 'bout those oysters?" "mhm". it feels like lucy wants to make it up to maximus, this whole thing. lucy's vault doesn't have oysters but they have canned tuna and she thinks maximus might still enjoy it. maximus isn't really thinking about what she's saying in the same way she is until • "i was supposed to marry a stranger from another vault. it didn't turn out so good." ☹️ • lucy continues to tell maximus "i don't have the best luck when it comes to strangers... i can honestly say you are the best stranger that i've ever met. you're a good person, titus. and if you wanted to, when all this is over, you could come and live with us in vault 33. with me." this scene is painful because, before the finale, it's all well and good. but maximus' web of lies and then the brotherhood of steel having cold fusion and on top of norm uncovering the crime of the century in vault 31, 32, 33 means this all was a pipe dream. it was so sweet. but vault tec is evil ☹️ • maximus finally breaks down and tells lucy the full and honest truth. "my name isn't titus. it's maximus. titus is the name of the knight who owned this suit before me. he was threatening me, so instead of helping him i watched him die. and i took his armour and i lied to you." the way before maximus did this, lucy told him to "just say yes" to her asking him to come stay at her vault 😞 • maximus doesn't think he's a good person. then lucy reveals she splashed acid in an innocent man's face. nothing stays clean up here • even after all this, lucy still asks maximus to come live with her in her vault 😢 • lucy been in this mf for two weeks lmao

• ok so i get why thaddeus was at the post apocalyptic radio station, because dj carl had a signal [and some pre war music] • thaddeus is listening in and i only noticed now that dj carl said he does not receive visitors to the station and this explains why it was booby trapped 😭 • the next shot is the snake oil salesman putting a gun to his mouth ready to put himself on a shirt. wild. he sees thaddeus and immediately runs after him to sell one of his disturbing little drugs to him • "don't kill me! i'm a doctor. i can help you." 😭 insane • the snake oil salesman called thaddeus' fucked up foot a "tattered tootsy" gfldgldgd • as the snake oil salesman explains his repertoire, thaddeus pulls out and cocks his gun, the snake oil salesman can see thaddeus do this in the reflection of the mirror on the mantelpiece. oof. "what's stopping me from just killing you and taking your whole thing of drugs?" thaddeus blurts out. somebody come get this mannn. snake oil salesman really has to tell thaddeus that only he knows which elixir will cure or kill him, thaddeus is crazy for pulling the blicky out like this

• thaddeus trading a fusion core for idk eternal life is somethin'. what is the snake oil salesman gone do with that? hmmm • i think the snake oil salesman gave him the real deal because a fusion core is like high payment • the concoction is like regeneration but tastes bad. almost thought thaddeus got poisoned he was coughing so hard, thaddeus' foot heals very well [but still appears broken] • the snake oil salesman tells thaddeus the radios station is near shady sands but thaddeus is like? it's radioactive there and the snake oil salesman is like "well, you don't have to worry about that anymore, do you, buddy boy?" ayyy lmao what did he give him? did he give him something to turn him into a super mutant? ghoulification? thing? why did he say this??

• back in vault 33, norm is feeding the imprisoned raiders everyday. then i notice they reprise "what a diff'rence a day makes" by dinah washington, same song used in episode 5 when vault 33 enters vault 32 where it's all been cleaned away, it's the coverup song • veronica is blamed for the raider prisoners being poisoned but i didn't understand why she was implicated, she didn't make or serve the food [sounds like a coverup] • but. rat poison is often slow acting. so this is why i think the raider prisoners were poisoned over time • "what did i tell you, norman? words have meaning" overseer betty tells him. i don't particularly think she had anything to do with this. steph on the other hand... • but isn't it wild overseer betty starts the "resettlement initiative" before hardly leaving the mass casualty event • [this is forced resettlement btw] • this show is real for realistically showing recovering from a baby by having steph icing her private area lol

• norm goes to visit chet and registers that chet has been moved to vault 32 [norm is losing a cousin and friend 😭] • i say steph was strategic with getting with chet because of the conversation norm and chet go on to have • norm asks chet "so you're gonna forget about everything we've seen?" then chet "i feel like this is a good moment for a fresh start." "you think so?" "someone obviously does." and i wonder who that someone is • norm is obviously, naturally, and rightfully upset at this. "you're a coward. you know know that, chet?" chet returns norm a smile laced with fear and astutely surmises "we all are, norm. that's why we live in a vault." chet closes the unit door ending the conversation with norm. • chet giving a succinct response to the state of affairs for vault dwellers that even norm himself can't escape still has me

• cooper is a bloodhound. he comes upon the dilapidated red rocket gas station thaddeus was at, sees some blood on the ground and tastes it. what for, your guess is as good as mine 😭 • cooper hears whimpering from the nuka cola dispenser 😭 he lets dogmeat out and says something unhinged "alright, let's go find your daddy" i can't tell if he's already dropping the accent here but 🥲 • in the past, not only are we greeted with another radiation king but also a scene directly related to cooper and his dog, roosevelt • cooper is taking hits off his old fashioned smoking pipe, reading a magazine, roosevelt laying in his lap. king starts eying barb's unattended pip boy on the counter • cooper bugs that bad boy while barb is none the wiser

• colour analysis time again! because they're wearing the same [and maybe the exact] colours and outfits from episode 5, barb is in all blue [no reds or pinks] and cooper is in his signature blue and yellow. janey appears to be in blue and yellow in this scene too! with mostly yellow like cooper. interesting. • cooper has full blown started spying on his wife but gets cold feet after gazing at roosevelt. "you're right, roosevelt. what are you thinking." cooper says, a mix between talking to his dog and himself 😢 he throws the listening device in the trash. cooper loves and trusts barb so much. too much. • the scene transitions to a dichotomy, barb restfully sleeping in bed, again none the wiser, not a care, it seems. then there is cooper--- nursing a cigarette, watching the vault tec vault 4 ad he filmed for the ill fated doctor lloyd and doctor cassandra. cooper cannot sleep. this is a metaphor for their individual consciences.

• cooper is outside now in the witching hour with roosevelt sifting through trash looking for the listening device. "no dogs in the vault, huh?" cooper says after finally finding it. cooper loved roosevelt so much, he was willing to upend his marriage and discover a corporate conspiracy over him, i could cry 😭 • cooper lovingly kisses roosevelt on the head and no sooner does the scene cut to post war cooper refusing attention from dogmeat telling her "i'm sorry, dogmeat, but you ain't him." cooper has all but dropped his accent when speaking this to dogmeat, his sad and hurt mask slipping • i guess dj carl was only booby trapping for angry critics because he let thaddeus use the radio to hit up the brotherhood of steel lol • thaddeus asking about the critics of dj carl's music with dj carl responding "oh, people get fully mad." 😂 now that thaddeus is healed, he's much nicer, even acting a bit cute lol • refinement and taste for the arts still being in the wasteland tho gdldflgdl • "great job on these bobby traps, by the way" 😭 and it's still got bodies in them, help 😭 • thaddeus points and says "that one's crazy", tears in my eyes. really is some shit out of the fallout games • dj carl goes "critics." shaking his head with thaddeus ironically saying "yeah. people just, uh, can't be nice" 😭 same guy almost shot the snake oil salesman before he cured him

• dj carl sees lucy and maximus walking up and asks thaddeus if they're his ride. thaddeus takes out his gun and dj carl is like "guess not. ok." and closes the window to his radio station quick lmao • the signs around the radio station say "no visitors", "no requests", "keep out", and "no trespassing violators will be executed" 💀 • lmao idk if he was panicking or what but thaddeus starts shooting and unloads his entire clip--- lucy and maximus are so fucking confused, checking to see if they've been hit, "god, i suck without a scope" thaddeus shot like fifteen times 😭 • lucy and maximus raise their hands after all that, lucy informs thaddeus she was the one who cut siggi's head off • thaddeus forgets where he is because he walks backwards into a booby trap and a whole. arrow. goes through his neck 😫 lucy is mortified and so am i ❤️ • when thaddeus tries to talk, it sounds gurgly, he doesn't get why he's not dead but takes the arrow out, lucy and maximus look like they want to vomit gldgldfld • idk how they can see from that distance but everyone notices thaddeus' wound heals up. maximus thinks thaddeus is a ghoul now [maybe a super mutant instead?] • "aw, i'm so stupid" i should've never trusted a doctor that smelled like that." please?? • dj carl opens the hatch to see the brotherhood of steel approaching then promptly closes it • lucy asks "the brotherhood is the good guys?" tell me why thaddeus and maximus was like "uh, it's a complicated organization" not them knowing this faction is 💀 • i realized thaddeus did a 180° on wanting to give the brotherhood of steel siggi's head because maximus convinced him he was some type of altered person [whether ghoul or super mutant] and the brotherhood of steel discriminates against both • maximus lets thaddeus flee, by taking the head--- thaddeus is so? because why did he tell lucy and maximus "uh, i'm sorry about... a lot of things and i didn't mean for... ok, nice meeting you. bye!" i cannot even explain how funny it is to see maximus pull a pacifist speech check by getting everyone out of that alive fldgdlfld • maximus buys lucy time to take siggi's head to moldaver while he uh lies to the brotherhood of steel to give her time to get hank, he gets a head from the radio station fdlgdlf • "find your dad. go home. that's what i want for you" ☹️ • "they're never gonna stop looking for the artifact" the brotherhood of steel always find out • lucy and maximus kiss like they'll never see each other again. the two heads in their respective arms also lock lips 💀 lucy and maximus kiss twice [this one's for you vaultknight] • dj carl opens his porthole and smiles. i am howling. • maximus is given something he's probably not had since childhood but anyways 🥲 • kind of a diss for overseer betty to say the people selected for vault 32 from vault 33 have "been chosen for agreeability, stick-to-itiveness, and all of the other qualities that make for a successful pioneer" what about the ones not chosen from vault 33? sheesh • woody gets cold feet, he doesn't want to go live in vault 32. but it is not up to woody--- he is stopped by vault guards. there is no choice [this is a dictatorship i guess] • they treat woody's desire to not be forcefully moved as an outburst by him. they wait for his dissent to turn back into compliance. it is crazy.

• who would have guessed steph would become overseer of vault 32 • norm has had enough and leaves the ceremony, the last glimpse of chet's face not unlike woody's had been • not sure how norm gets to slip by but he decides to play detective again at a terminal • under the guise of being overseer betty, norm pretends there's a problem as an excuse to talk to overseer 31 • this is fallout's version of the internet lol • noticing norm is talking to a brain in a jar, bud askins, is crazyyy--- idk how often overseer betty and him talk but bud fell for the bait quickly • norm posing as overseer betty goes to vault 31, watching it open as he once again is able to open a door with a lock he didn't even have to pick

• one thing about this episode i want to talk more about is the fact that yes, the wasteland is cruel and unforgiving and even still it can also be warm and loving and as evidenced by the survivors of vault 4, they were weird but nice. just like maximus said about lucy. they went out of their way to help lucy and maximus and those two could've spent the rest of their life there, probably. thank goodness the test subject victims revolted. they turned a hellhole into a home. • any other place, lucy would've been harmed for hurting an innocent person and the fact is that they banished her to the surface, let her live, gave her supplies 😭 vault 4 were the nicest, most compassionate people in the show. i really loved seeing a flower in the desert like that • vault 4 prospers not because but in spite of doctor lloyd's and doctor cassandra's experiments • i hope to see more of vault 4 • another thing i wanted to touch on was something i noticed for a few episodes now and i addressed last episode. and it's that poc in this show are the canary in the coal mine, the alarm system, for the going's on with vault tec and the larger societal conspiracy of greed and power grabbing through war. charlie, moldaver, birdie. to name a few. i could make more cases. but anyways, poc being on the ground trying to tell the world about self cannibalizing systems we live under falling on deaf and delusional ears are not lost on me

[malwaredykes]

leigh and cat rambles

thinking about. the fact that leigh was NOT used to being treated kindly or gently, or being looked after, or being cared for. shed just never gotten much warmth from anyone all her life, didnt really have friends or anyone who appreciated her presence more than in very fleeting superficial ways. she had been generally just left alone to figure things out on her own (which definitely contributed to a lot of her idiosyncrasies and her ways of assessing situations or her own behaviors). she had a very shaky idea of who she was or who she couldve been to other people, aside from like. someone to get things done when asked, someone who makes themselves useful.

and im thinking about how much it sucked for her to have to travel from goodsprings to primm to the mojave outpost to nipton to novac all alone--its not that she wasnt used to traveling by herself, after all she was a courier, but like. she had just been Shot In The Head. she was sore and confused and Torn Away From Her Own Sense Of Self and basically got a free partial lobotomy and a bunch of symptoms she had trouble dealing with (especially the seizures, scary stuff, knowing it could happen at any moment and there wouldnt be anyone to make sure she was okay). she was sleep deprived and broke and had to painstakingly remind herself how to do stuff like mend her gear, make food, use her weapon properly etc. she knew she couldve stayed in goodsprings for a while longer to recover, or stopped in primm or at the outpost, but she just didn't feel welcome. regardless of how people actually reacted to her presence, she just felt that she wasn't wanted or welcome, and the only ways she could exercise the degree of "selfishness" thats necessary for survival was to, yknow, steal shit. the vast majority of what she had on her by the time she got to novac she'd stolen lol. change of clothes, personal hygiene items, first aid essentials, the damn pot to cook things in, etc. obviously most of it was stuff that people wouldve shared with her if she'd asked, but You Try Getting Her To Ask.

thing is despite all of that sort of life experience she wasnt ever the, yknow, Hrngh Everyone Has To Survive On Their Own, Its A Dog-Eat-Dog World, Cant Rely On Others type. she always believed it was all about community and helping one another and contributing to the collective good. not even in a We Instinctively Need One Another As Human Beings way, just that its sensible and effective. its just that she didnt really get to have that like most others did. she watched it all from a distance. she contributed if she could, but knew not to expect much in return. at some point it became something of a self-fulfilling prophecy really, but like, it was just How Things Were to her, it hardly even registered as anything irregular. it was just sort of obvious. she wasnt getting much of anything from people and it was wrong of her to ask

all that is to say it was kind of crazy to her when boone was just like. nice to her. not outwardly warm or anything obviously (i mean its boone. specifically freshly widowed pre-transition boone), and she did ask leigh for help with something, but leigh did pick up on that it was at that point out of sheer desperation and helplessness and having no one around to turn to. which, i mean, Leigh Was Familiar With The Experience. but with that out of the way boone was. nice to her. didnt do pleasantries, just like. made her some food. gave her clothes a wash (washing machine privilege...). and then decided to travel with her, and turned out to be eager to keep leigh safe and for them to have each others back. crazy stuff for leigh. like Whats going on. This Rules.

leigh got kind of overly excited there actually akdhncksfhdj like it made her a little bit hyper initially. high on Nice To Her. omg omg boone lets check out gibsons scrap yard omg can you show me how to use a rifle omg whats your favorite food!! bit too intense for boone, You Are Overstimulated And Cannot Hang. leigh quickly settled down and apologized a bunch but boone was like Why are you apologizing its fine im just not good at this kinda stuff and im Still Not In A Great Mood Due To Recent Events. that too was crazy to leigh like Wait so im not irritating and off-putting and Too Much? you Dont want me to shut up and leave you alone?? and boone was like What. No.

so yeah. it was significant, it felt significant. and clearly it was mutual, cuz boone was ride or die for her pretty much from the beginning. Boone Will Now Die For You. but yeah, it was a Connection. something nice and unexpected and kind of weird to process at first, but they both felt secure in it and quickly grew to be very comfortable around each other. Warriors Bond. leigh just felt really tender about the whole thing. I Really Like You, I Really Trust You. even when they discovered some uhh disagreeable things about each other, that didnt change.

also i mean theres the fact that leigh was the first out trans woman boone had ever even spoken to. so boone was like Waow.... Something About Her Makes Me Feel Like If I Follow Her I Will End Up Where Im Supposed To Be. Which Could Mean Nothing

[supercoolsuperqueer]

A NEW COURIER HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

HIS LORE IS EXTENSIVE

lore below cut (don't worry it's in bullet points) and fun facts below lore

TW: SA mention, abuse, kidnapping, Legion typical horrors

His journey began when he ran away to join a caravan at 15

The caravan was captured when he was 17 by the Legion and he was thankfully able to pass as a man

Was forced to fight and either die or become a recruit 4 months after being captured

Lost his eye and ear lobe in the fight, but managed to come out on top through strategy and agility

Worked under Vulpes, mainly doing information retrieval work

Vulpes found out that Leon was trans and threatened to tell if he didn't follow his every order

Vulpes would take his aggression out on Leon (this includes SA)

Leon eventually started taking on spy missions because of his intelligence and stealth skills

Leon was told to obtain and deliver the platinum chip back to Caesar as sort of a suicide mission because Vulpes got tired of him

He was not expected to succeed or come back

He, however, saw the chip mission as his ticket out

Ran into Benny in Goodsprings and got shot in his bad eye (easy target ig?)

Was saved and immediately panicked because his ticket out was gone

Vulpes started to suspect that he was still alive and deserted the Legion and sent assassins to "look" for him

Leon to find the chip and befriended (begged for help from) Boone

he said that the Legion was after him and didn't specify why

Boone took pity on him after Leon brought Jeannie May to justice

Leon talks about his past as much as Boone does, so they got along great

Leon arrived at the Luck 38 and swore his loyalty to House upon receiving a place to stay in the presidential suite (he really needed a home)

He then took his orders to get rid of Benny and retrieve the chip

House took a liking to Leon because of his obedience and employed him full time

Leon sees House as a father figure and House sees him as the protege Benny never was

Ok fun fact time

He's pre-T and hasn't had top surgery but still flies under the radar because he looks young and his chest is easy to hide (especially under legion armor)

He was given the name Leon and lost his last name when he became a Legion recruit

He can't remember his old name or last name anymore

Personally killed Vulpes at Hoover Dam with his old Legion machete

He was super pissed that Benny shot him in his bad eye, causing him to lose his brown eyepatch

Didn't get a new eyepatch until Mr. House gave him some money for a new one

Boone is his best friend 4 ever (maybe more...)

For his first week living in the Lucky 38, all he did was clean because he wasn't used to not having orders 24/7

Suffers from severe nightmares and sometimes ends up sleeping in the same bed as Boone or out in the penthouse by House's monitor

Found his fancy suit in the Lucky 38 presidential suite

It's too big and Mr. House says it's "tacky" but Leon doesn't care

One time he accidentally called Mr. House "dad"

Actually that happens a lot...

House doesn't say anything about it

After living living in the Lucky 38 for a while, Leon decided that his last name should be "House" after his boss-dad

Mr. House felt an emotion when told this information (omg family moment)

HE WILL HAVE MORE INFO SOON 😼

[aztarion]

I finally booted up Night Road over the weekend... after meaning to play this when it came out, but hey, it only took me a few years? 😅 The VtM art community here has been astounding (including yours!) and definitely motivated me with that, so thank you 🙏

It's been scratching the itch left since I played Bloodlines, like 14/15 years ago 😱 So good! I hope you don't mind me asking, but will you be working on more Night Road art pieces and I'm curious if you had a music playlist on during the game? Feels like something that would be make it more atmospheric! 🩵

ok but same!! i knew about night road when it released back in 2020 but i think thats when i was still in my bg3 early access madness so i never got around to checking it out… which is a freakin crying shame because it is absolutely objectively one of my favourite games ever. cannot kiss the authors ass enough. and agreed, the vtm & larger WoD creative community is insanely talented. im still a beginner at digital art but thank you for including me anyway ♥️😭 although i am a little sad being 4 yrs late to the night road party when nobody is making fan art for it specifically

i dont mind at all omg & YEAS! i have so many night road doodles im trying to clean up a little before putting into a sketch dump, plus that lettow render & a julian render, a bigger lettow/courier sketch, & a night road style portrait for my courier!! all going at the same time because i have no impulse control, but its making me learn new techniques & helping develop some sort of cohesive style between pieces i guess…….. we can only hope lol. im currently playing through book of hungry names & working on 2 commissions so im a little slow but ill be back to night road soon bc im literally in love with it. if u have any ideas or requests as well for night road art definitely send them my way or @ashlandr & ill get to them whenever im supposed to be working from home i have time :D <3

i dont use spotify much but i tried to gather up a lot of what ive been vibing to on soundcloud & other places while playing thru night road over the last month!!

and thank you for being so sweet!!!<333

[gecko-in-a-can]

hi! how about 12 & 24 for ghast, and/or 15 & 36 for my favorite man riggs??

!!!! OMG THANK YOU!! :D!!!!

Ghast:

12 how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

Ghast isn’t a pre-war ghoul but she’s pretty damn old! She’s my Vault Dweller character from Fallout 1, and was 19 at the time of the game, so she’s about 101 now! She was born April 15th, 2180 and originally birthdays were fun for her! She’d always enjoyed them as a kid and well into her teen years. After the events of the game she found she couldnt think of the celebrations without a level of bitterness joining them. As time went on though, and she helped develop of community, got a family, she began to lighten up and took part in a few parties. Now, as a ghoul, she only thinks of her own birthday as one more day, another trip around the sun, and that’s it. There are some days that she keeps track of though, that are always marked by burning candles and leaving some kind of food out with a message of ‘happy birthday’ written out where she can fit it.

24 do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)

She used to like singing, but once her voice started to go out she realized that that couldn’t keep, so she started learning animal calls! She can imitate birds, rodents, and bugs pretty well, and whatever she can’t call on her own she carves/molds call whistles!

Riggs:

15 how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

initially Riggs doesn’t remember his family. He remembers flashes of memories, and those memories involved people around him, but for a very long time those are all just empty spots in his mind. When his memories do come trickling back they’re bittersweet, because while he remembers what it was like to have a family, he also remembers what it’s like to lose most of them. Now he lives in Vegas! In the Lucky 38 to be specific, though he regularly crashes with his friends wherever they are and vice versa, so he’s only living alone in the sense that he owns a room by himself.

35 do they ever return home?

Yes and no? He returns to the home he made, not the one he comes from. He was born further southwest, and spent most of his life in the same area until taking up the courier job. Through that he comes to find and settle in his new home in vegas. He considers going back to the first one a few times, but realizes that the man who lived there died in goodsprings, and the people who are still there would be seeing him as a ghost instead of as the man he is. It’s Vegas he always returns to, whether it’s in goodsprings, or Freeside or westside or the strip, anywhere that he finds peace is his home, and that’s where he goes back to!

[softlyapocalytpic]

OKAY. i do not know if any of these would scratch the prompt itch. but if any of them doooo, "i hope hell is nice and warm when we get there." or perhaps "you’re all i need right now." (and omg no pressure to do either and definitely no pressure to do both i just wanted a backup)

aw thank you!! I appreciate this <3 (Also, hilariously, the latter prompt is the one my partner originally requested so it must be fate's design. ;) or just a good prompt). I did both! The first bit is with my Courier, Sunny, and than the other prompt is for Amy <3. Sorry if there’s mistakes, I’ll fix them in the morning, but this was always meant to be quick little drabbles for fun.

Context: Half Pint & Sunny are both the “Courier”, but for intents and purposes Half Pint is the Courier Six. Sunny just stole her half of the title and it stuck. This beat of the story takes place in 2282 towards the end of the war and after the two of them visit the Divide.

"i hope hell is nice and warm when we get there." 

"Y’know, I hope hell is nice and warm when we get there."

Half Pint didn’t stir at all in response. They were curled up like an armadillo, their face turned away from Sunshine. That was fine, she knew they weren’t sleeping.

Sunshine continued on, “I was just thinking, right, that it’d really suck if it was cold down there. Like it gets really cold at night here, but if Hell is like underground or something, whatever Arcade said about that book...”

She paused, and when nothing came: “I figure that it’s gotta be the same type of weather all the time, right, since there’s no sun or moon. Cuz it’s underground. And like, okay, do I really believe I’m going to Hell? No, course not. I don’t think there’s some weird never-ending cave where all the bad people go to live after the die, but if there was I’d want it to be hot. I can deal with that. I can’t deal with the cold.”

She paused again, and when they still didn’t respond she folded her hands behind her head and got ready for a long night of staring at stars. She continued on like this for a while, and at some point she stopped paying attention to what was actually coming out of her mouth. It wasn’t really the point anyway.

It’d been three days since they’d left the Divide, and it’d been three days of roughing it out in the Mojave. Wandering where ever their feet had taken them, and doing little jobs here and there where they cropped up. Yeah, yeah, there was a war that needed to be won and all that, but after what the two of them did she had a pretty good feeling that they had a little more time.

She wondered how long it was going to take ED-E to get to Navarro, and if he was going to be safe along the way. From what Half Pint had said it was NCR territory, and everything she knew about the NCR and the Enclave (which was really very little) told her that they didn’t get along. But ED-E was tougher now, smarter, and she felt like this time it’d be okay. There was a few things more important than the odd rouge eye bot.

Sunshine knew that Half Pint was going to be okay too, but she needed to give them a little helping hand. They hadn’t actually been leading the way this time around. Rather, they were just following her. If she’d gone back to the Lucky 38 they would probably follow after, but there was something nagging at her. It wasn’t time yet.

That was fine. She wasn’t in any rush.

Her chatter filled the open air for a long time, but they did pipe up. Their voice was more like a hoarse croak than the biting sass Sunny was used to, but it wasn’t all gone.

“Dante’s Inferno.”

“Who the fuck’s what now?”

“It’s the name of the book. Arcade said that the devil’s balls are frozen. In the last layer. Gay people get sent to the one with hot sand.”

“Fuck yes. Now that’s what I’m talking about. That sounds like a nice day at the beach to me.”

Half Pint spoke up again, “I guess we’re both going there.” It was more bitter and self-loathing than Sunny preferred, but it wasn’t really up to her to poke at that.

“Eh, can’t be any worse than anywhere we’ve already been, and besides, we’ll be together. No way in hell you’re any worse off than me. I mean, come on, they’re gonna have a field day with all the shit I’ve done.”

They laughed, barely audible, but they laughed and finally they turned over to see her, “Yeah, together.”

“Together.”

Author’s Note: Fun fact, Sunny’s line about “a nice day on the beach” actually comes from one of my HS teachers who subbed one of my Dante’s Inferno classes.

"you're all i need right now"

tw: amy has a anxiety attack, but I try not to focus on the why or the fullness of what that is in this moment. move pretty quickly on to her getting the comfort portion. Welcome to world’s quickest anxiety attack ever.

Amy knew, in a sense, how to deal with a panic attack. Leo had been diagnosed with VDS at a pretty young age after his first anxiety attack, and so James had taught her how to recognize the signs, how to support someone through it, and that even though Leo was sensitive it would make him feel worse if everyone treated him like he was on the verge of one constantly. She had to talk him through several over the years, and through very many many more after they got out of the vault. As her throat seized up, her perception of the world became tuned out, and breathing got so so hard, she wondered if anyone around him now knew how to help him.

There it was again. That feeling of looking at the chaos of her own mind spinning out of control behind a glass wall unable to touch them, but this time she was in two places at once. Observer and victim.

The Observer was aware that Craterside Supply wasn’t really the time or place to have a meltdown, and that having a meltdown wasn’t the rational response at all, but it didn’t matter to the rest of her.

That same removed part guessed that Butch had probably caused more attacks than he’d ever had the misfortune of dealing with, and that whatever he was doing it was going to be floundering. Still, none of that objectivity was going to tell her what she actually needed.

No, that was the part that was currently freaking the fuck out.

When her mind finally rose to the surface for long enough to register her surroundings she realized she was outside. Wind on her face, sun beating down from above, the hot steel in her hands, and Butch’s voice cutting through the haze of panic.

“Amelia? Come on, Amy, talk to me.”

“... hi?”

“Really? That’s it?” He said it like he was annoyed, but then he brought her flush against his chest.

The leather of his jacket was warm, but the body heat rolling off of him was warmer. It was uncomfortable, actually, but the instantaneous relief she felt being wrapped up in his arms was enough to put that aside. Amy was actually surprised at that, she wasn’t a huge fan of suddenly being grabbed on a good day, but part of it was definitely the pressure. It was grounding. Made her present to the here and now rather than stuck somewhere else.

“Ames, talk to me. Tell me what you need.”

She voice still felt so unsteady, so she gripped onto him like an anchor, “Just you.”

“Just me?”

She sighed, frustrated, “I... I think you’re... all I need right now. Can we... stay like this?”

So, they stayed there, as she quietly coached herself through the rest of the steps.

She couldn’t see a lot squished into Butch’s chest, but she saw the pattern and colors of the leather. The silvery steely grey of the zipper. A piece of blue  and yellow of the jumpsuit below (she really needed to get him some more clothes).

She heard his breath, felt it hot on her skin, and the pounding of his heart. She must’ve really freaked him out.

And he smelled... wrong.

Amy wrinkled her nose, but didn’t pull away. “Are you styling your hair with something else?”

“You can tell?” Suddenly, a little self-conscious, “Does it look bad?”

She pulled back just enough for him to see her face, “No, your hair looks fine. At least, I think it does? You’re a lot better at this than I am- no, you just. You smell kinda... minty? Chemically? Usually you smell kinda... sweet? And... spicy? I liked that one better.” Her cheeks flushed. “Um, sorry if that was weird.”

He laughed, a little bewildered, a little amused, “You freak out on me, and all you have to say for yourself is that I smell bad.”

“Sorry...”

He smiled big and wiped some of the wetness off her cheeks, “Nah, you’re alright. I’m teasin’ ya.”

After one long moment of staring into each other’s eyes Amy realized the full extent of the moment that was still in the middle of happening. With cheeks burning an even brighter red she gently pushed away from him and cleared her throat.

“Uh, anyway, thanks.”

Butch turned away from her, his own cheeks stained, “Yeah, don’t mention it.”

Amy definitely didn’t spend the rest of the night buried under the covers freaking out, and she definitely didn’t mention it the next morning over breakfast. And she definitely didn’t put her foot in her mouth.

Weirdest anxiety attack ever.

Author’s Note: Also, hi, I totally didn’t spend too much time researching pomade.

[purpleandsilver]

Using StimuWrite: First Impressions

Wherein I typed up this post on the app, exported the .txt file to my OneDrive, and formatted it on Tumblr whilst laying in bed.

First I downloaded it from the official source. Then I explored the other themes. I settled on buying and downloadig one of te extra theme packs in order to have the Clear Crystal theme. I'm running into the problem that the background I want to use- Galaxy Spiral- is making it hard to read text as I type closer to the center of the spiral. I changed to the Outline theme and it seems to help but I wish there was a background that was slightly grey and transulucent. The emojis are cool but mushrooms don't go with the theme. Oh well. I think mushrooms are cute. Hm. Text is getting hard to read because the galaxy spiral is darker towards the bottom. Let me see..... Okay so I switched backgrounds. Dark works okay with Clear Crystal. I just noticed that the emojis isn't just mushrooms like I wanted. I don't like the thumbs up emote randomly showing up. Wait where'd the mushies go. 😟I like the mushies. 😟 Okay so I turned off Emoji Feedback thinking it would get rid of the thumbs up. I don't think it did but I did turn on the lots option. I don't like the hand clapping emoji either. I just want the mushies. Anways, the writing part works fine. Let's explore the fonts.

Right now I'm using Courier Prime. Let's see what else we have. Roboto Sans is basic AF but someone likes it lol. Noto Serif is very in your face serif. I understand why Open Dyslexic was added- for acessability- but omg my ADHD brain hates this font. But I'm glad it's avaible for people who need it. Short Stack is interesting in that I don't know how to describe it. It's... short and handwritingish? Ish. Marckscript are for people who cosplay William Shakespeare characters. It's cursvie so there's a huge generation that doesn't know how to write it. Illegible is definitely for people who want nothing but chaos. I don't and I hate this font with a passion lol. Okay I'm back to my favorite font of all time. Courier Prime really is the number one font ever. It is just so good and I personally believe it pairs well with the keyboard or typewriter sounds.

Speaking of sounds let's try those out. Right now I'm on Typewriter. Now I'm on Bubble. Absoulutely the fuck not. No. Omg I hate this sound. My brain is screaming. And now I'm on Bloop which sounds like a fire alarm and is giving me flashbacks from school days. NO. And here we have keyboard which is like Typewriter but lighter because it's modern. Oh there's one called Ah. OMFG I HATE IT. Just turned on Scribble and I'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard. Plastic Rustle reminds me of my cat Maximus and how he likes to eat plastic. I see the appeal but no for me. Now I'm on Bubble Wrap. I'm having mixed feelings right now. I don't hate it but I like it. And finally, Drum. No. Just no. And I'm back to Typewriter because it's the best. Most of the sounds are a no for me, but I'm not the only one using them. They're cool but imma stick with Typewriter or Keyboard. Okay now I'm going to close and reopen the program to see if it saves me work. Gonna copy it beforehand though.

Okay it does save your work in a way. I had to change my theme again on start and recovery my session. Interesting. Anyways ratings are arbitary but I think this app is a 10/10 for what it does because I'm almost at 650 words. I wonder if I can get there just by typing mindlessly. I bet I could. This feels very stimulating. I need four more words. Oh hey I'm over 650 words. Nice.

[itslettinggo]

3, 18, 25, 31, & 37– dealer’s choice

YAYYYYYY thank u so much for sending me asks omg omg omg !!! okay so i used wheelofnames.com to help me pick btwn the characters im really feeling rn :)

(if anyone would like to make my day and send more asks, the link is here !! pls do these were so fun)

3. Do they have any bad habits?

dragonborn / lana antony

lana doesn’t just “have” bad habits. she is a bad habit. i’d say her main one is that she goes through life in survival mode. she jumps to the conclusion that she’s in a life-or-death situation very easily, and will act accordingly. the slightest provocation makes her go into “this person is definitely trying to hurt me, i need to hurt them 5 times worse” mode. she’s also recklessly emotionally vulnerable/desperate for love, cruel, impulsive, rude, short-tempered, naïve… the list goes on.

18. What did they want to be when they grew up?

lone wanderer / grace rook

grace wanted to be a doctor like her dad. i like to think she does get her doctorate when she gets older, so that did happen in at least one sense of the word.

25. Do they have any unique skills?

courier six / anya mcmillan

anya grew up in the brotherhood of steel, so she knows way too much about pre-war history and technology, but doesn’t know how to analyze or evaluate basic emotions.

31. Do they have a comfort item?

courier six / safina botros

safina thinks ascribing personal meaning to things is stupid (or, at least, she wants to think that as she’s been struggling financially most of her life and never kept possessions for too long. she actually really likes nice things, but that’s a separate issue), so she doesn’t really have one. but, i mean, platinum chip’s pretty important.

37. Are they a good liar?

lone wanderer / grace rook

grace is a very good liar to strangers. her lying/manipulation ability is inversely proportional to how well you know her, though. butch and her dad are two people she has a really hard time being dishonest with.

[theghostus]

Hey, you...

It's been 6 months since my last update. Fuck.

Since then, I've had 2 jobs. Both are full-time, yet something in them didn't click for me.

My first job was at a physio clinic. I thought, well, during the interview, the Head of Operations summarised the job involved simple 4 things. I was like, cool, it was something I could do. Just do the damn job and go home. Turns out, it needs a lot of my peopling skills. Juggling to do the daily job (talking and scheduling appt based on the treatment plan given), the needing to follow up with clients (and no-show ones) to the daily closing. Not including the therapists' different personalities. The daily meetings (omg). At the end of the day, I was emotionally exhausted. I was stretching myself thin. When I was hired, there were 3 of us. One by one, quit due to reasons, including yours truly. The management assured me they would be hiring more, but I couldn't see myself doing the same thing repeatedly without completing the tasks set out the day before. I don't know what this is. I supposed it's the perfectionist in me, or I'm just nuts.

For the next job, I succumbed to desperation. I agreed blindly, which I came to regret tremendously. The first day was suspiciously relaxed. After all, it's the first day. Lots of writing in my notebook (god damn, y'all don't know how many notebooks I've gone through) and taking the lead from my senior. The second day was a little more hectic but still able to cope with my senior help. Third to the Fourth day, she was on MC. That's when things took a dive. The other admin (seniors) started to push coz they saw me doing nothing. Like, duh, my senior taught me for 2 days; how would I know what I was supposed to do. Oh oh...I forget to tell you. They actually keep track of what tasks admins do. I mean for every 15 min interval. Made me key in all the tasks I had done for the day. Honestly, on the first day, I realised this job was not for me, but I still gave the job a chance. Maybe just maybe, this is just a fluke, you know. Like the day I came in happened to be a busy day. Nope, I was wrong. I was hired as a receptionist with a 45min lunch. Wow. I had to take the mail daily during my lunch. You know why, so the person covering me can update me if anything comes (courier, incoming docs) during lunchtime. Cool. I thought Chinatown was bad...fucking hell, the area was worse. Only 1 Malay food (okay, okay, I'm not exactly practising Muslim, but still, if I'm going eat the Indian food there, it's going dig into my savings) and 7-11 for lunch. Plus, I need my daily cig input. Already I was sucking 4 sticks a day. Sigh. Still, I preserved, hoping I could get through the week. On the fourth day, the senior admin lead gave me a 2hr one to one tutor. So I'm expected to understand and master MYOB in 3-4 days. Well, she didn't need to. She said since she was free, she could. Her time, her call. Each day, I found it hard to complete the timesheet as I didn't meet the 8.75 hrs.

So the Fifth day came, and my senior was still on leave. The lead senior (asst to manager *eye roll*) had expectations that I to be an outgoing person, which I never was when we first met. I know I'm supposed to fake until I make it, but I can no longer do that. Maybe because I have nothing that drives me like before (the evil house). Yes, I'm an anxious empath. I guess that's the problem. I have always found it hard to approach people. I always try to read their body language and expressions. Well, back to the bitch. She got frustrated because I didn't ask the accounts for their dustbins. After all, they always do their housekeeping (vacuuming, throwing the rubbish in the baskets) on Fridays. I mean, 1 team were out for a meeting, so I was supposed to tell them about the throwing the rubbish thing. However, when I thought my other colleague (let's call her Shorty) had informed them, I mean, let's divide and conquer for the 1st week, right? Nope. Strike 1. That's not what the bitch wants me to do. "When I told you to tell/ask/check them for their waste basket, I don't need to tell you how to do right?" So I went to tell/ask/check the rest of the office and collect the rest of them. By then, I had already gone down with Shorty to the bin and returned. "You have to tell/ask/check coz they're busy with work. Now you have to go down again!" Strike 2. After everything has settled, my manager asks to see her. She discussed with me how my week was going. Obviously, I got complained, yet she said I 'observed'. She said all the BS that I knew was coming. I lied again about the difficulties I had. Then she mentioned I opened the wrong client mail and 'explained' the importance of checking and making sure. I truly believed that I was right. Till I check again, to my horror. I opened the wrong mail. Strike 3. I had to cover my tracks. I notice one of the mail is missing. I assumed that's how she knew. I told myself to fuck it. I don't care about the job anymore. I was so mad at myself and everyone I left without switching off the lights and the mail on the table. When I reached the train station, my conscience didn't allow me to board. Thankfully I had not tapped in. I turned around and walked back 10mins. Grabbed the mail, walked 10 mins to the mailbox, and boarded the train. It was the only right thing I had to do when I served my notice on Monday.

Both jobs, of course, the hirer was shocked. I didn't give a damn about what they thought. As usual, I lied; otherwise, they would want to rectify what went wrong. At least at the clinic, I had a few folks chat with me, not about the job. I was super miserable at the accounting firm. I know I said I don't need anyone. Besides but no one went to lunch at the same time as me except the bitch and shorty. The first day, the bitch offered to have lunch together my brain wanted to say yes, but my mouth said no. Good thing I didn't.

So now I'm still unemployed.

It's 3 days till Xmas. One week till 2023.

3 months till my 40th.

Sigh.

I still have this MOE interview pending next year. That's my last full-time interview. After this, I'm done.

I'm just looking for temp jobs...I can't handle the pressure of expectations and being around people. Gonna look for WFH job if I can find one. At least it saves me the transport and lunch money.

Sigh.

2023. Please be kind.

21/12/22

[irregular-nekomata]

I posted 497 times in 2022

That's 497 more posts than 2021!

11 posts created (2%)

486 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gimmethemprimals

@dire-vulture

@blooming-grove

@coatlscoatlseverywhere

@peacevine

I tagged 450 of my posts in 2022

Only 9% of my posts had no tags

#fr.outfits - 51 posts

#fr.abberation - 47 posts

#fr.npcs - 34 posts

#fr.links - 28 posts

#fr.genes - 22 posts

#fr.obelisk - 21 posts

#fr.skins - 16 posts

#flight rising - 16 posts

#fr.pearlcatcher - 15 posts

#fr.skydancer - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#and even though i think some of it is due to pose change instead of negligence they did kinda ignore the fact he’s supposed to be old

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hey!

I'm Irregular, and this is where I'll be keeping my Flight Rising lore! My FR username is Zosimos, feel free to check it out! Please ask about my dragons and lore, I'm more than happy to talk on end about them.

I'll be (hopefully) posting my art here as well.

I have chronic pain, so things might go a little slowly.

link to the FR Helpdesk

Outfit Wishlist Coder

My tagging System!

I mainly reblog other's posts, but feel free to interact! I don't bite :)

3 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#4

I wish we had more sea-serpent like dragon types. Guardians are Great but being both one of the starter breeds and pretty chill in monstrosity dulls their shine for me.

4 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

#3

Dilemerus

Lore vs Lair (how do they present in lore vs lair?):

In lore, Dilemerus are one huge aberration, with four heads (and therefore four different dragons), four front legs, two back legs, and four wings, two of which are artificially shrunken.

In my lair, they take the form of two separate dragons, Delilah (Combination of Della and Lilah) and Emerus (Em and Nerus).

Backstory

Dilemerus (Della, Lilah, Em, and Nerus) are an aberration formed by four lovers who decided to be together forever, albeit in a more literal manner than most would choose.

Della is their resident troublemaker and while she always (never) has plausible deniability, she usually gets ratted out by one of the three she's attached to. (She/her)

Lilah might be the closest thing my lair has to a prom queen: elegant, cruel, and willing to beat your ass. (She/xe/no pronouns)

Em is the local sweetheart, and willing to help out anytime; from baking with Araceli to helping Nuthilyan put someone's front legs out of business. (they/them)

Nerus is a very motivated scientist, and sees being attached to three others as no downside. He is almost constantly working, but enjoys just being with his other three. (he/they)

tags are for my own sorting purposes:

MD (my Dragons) as a prefix is relating to Lair, ML (my Lore) is relating to Lore

4 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#2

Omg im in love with ur tagging system with fr.x

Thank you!! using this as a place to put my tags:

FR.(Dragon breed), ex FR.Obelisk

FR.Skins (For both skins and accents!)

FR.NPC (trading post and courier dragons)

FR.Genes (for gene suggestions and discussion)

FR.Familiars (for fams and fam suggestions/discussions)

FR.(trigger tag), ex FR.Multigaze

FR.Boost (for a seller who’s getting their product out, etc)

FR.Bios (for bio resources!)

FR.Outfits (outfit codes)

FR.Bases (for free-to-use bases other artists have made)

FR. Suggestion (suggestions for gameplay)

FR.Deities (for the eleven deities in FR)

FR.memes (Flight rising memes)

FR.OfficialArt (Discussions around the Official FR art)

FR.link (usually for links, although I tend to forget this! I usually use it for things I personally want to find again)

FR.Forums (people setting up forum guides)

Reblogsneak is for reblogs of Irregular.txt

Irregular.txt is for if I actually talk lol

My Dragons is for my lair specifically!

5 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I have so many breeding pairs that are either:

Huge Powerful Wife and Weed-smoking Boyfriend

Kind Upstanding Lady and tiny s/o

5 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hisredhysteria]

What if Courier ended up spending some time/ a day with each member of the gang separately? Like he helped Swindler do some things one day, and then Doctor came to bother him with something the next day?

POOR COURIER 😭😭 Makes sense everyone would bother him though because he's probably going to take the job the most seriously— I made these scenario like hcs so they're long as hell omg I apologize— these are in a sequence too, so depending on how you read it, it may not make sense unless it's from top to bottom—

Courier spending a day//helping the Akudama with chores!!

Swindler

Courier is no stranger to Swindler asking him for help and he minds the least when she asks for it

Eventually, she's asked for his help so much that its become a joke between the two of them to ask when Swindler finally plans to pay her crippling debt to him

Swindler was organizing a small carnival charity event for children in need and could use some extra hands so who better to ask than Courier!

At first she tasks him with being the one to help carry the heavy boxes with her down the stairs of the school she's hosting it in!

When they weren't carrying the boxes in unison together, they'd managed them individually

Swindler nearly tripped down the stairs, but fortunately Courier caught her fall more than once...

Of course, the boxes usually hit the ground but at least Swindler never did—

After bringing down the boxes of decor, they're tasked with either organizing it all or taking a break and making some decorative banners!

They go back and forth with Courier wanting to just organize things and Swindler wanting to take a break for creative purposes—

They toss a coin and Swindler wins

A tad irritated, Courier just sighs and remarks how of course the coin would hit the floor before revealing that he lost—

Maybe he's a little excited when Swindler brings out all the different colored glitters, glues, markers, paints, and crayons...but he's not going to let her know he's excited

The concentrated look on Courier's face as he tries to make and color in his bubble letters perfectly provoke a few teasing comments from Swindler

"I thought you said you didn't like to color~?"

With a side eyed glance he'd shrug and continue to color anyways—

Since he's been such a big help, Swindler asks him to attend the charity event as a host—!

He declined her invitation and then somehow ended up there early in the morning to the event before anyone else did—

Doctor

She needs a specimen and because Courier was a more calm choice to have in a lab around sharp objects, dangerous gasses, and toxic poisons, she asks him

He's still a little sore from handling the brunt of the heavy boxes with Swindler and so of course he declines because there's no way he can afford to put his body through much more

With the promise of something to heal his aching body afterwards though, Courier begrudgingly agreed

The first thing she does is question him about why he's sore in the first place and she immediately tells him that if he'd stop being such a pushover by helping Swindler, he wouldn't be there right now—

Courier is just itching to get whatever it is Doctor has in mind over with, but she's very keen on dragging it out for him, just to see him suffer

The first thing she does is have him sit back in a chair while she takes his blood

Now, Courier is no stranger to a little blood, but he does feel a little uncomfortable watching Doctor lay out an array of needles

Doctor misses his vein several times on purpose just to see what kind of reaction she can string out of him

At first he takes it without much argument, but around the 3rd time he remarks that for a doctor, she's not very precise—

This was exactly what she was hoping he'd say though because now she can continue to poke and prod him while using his own words against him—

"Oh..? My bad. As you've pointed out, I'm not very skilled at this whole doctor thing, now am I?"

This earns her an evil glare from him to her own satisfied one

Next up, she has Courier taste test a bunch of miscellaneous liquids

To say the least, he's not very thrilled about it either

He's got a stone cold look for now, but it slowly becomes a grimace after each one

Doctor finds it amusing and delightful to watch this however

Perhaps he's just picky about what he likes, but maybe she's just slowly poisoning him..

For him though, she did throw in a few decent tasting ones that kept Courier from just getting up and leaving

In the end, Doctor did keep her promise and rewarded him for his patience by giving him a bottle of special painkillers—

He didn't really feel fully compensated for whatever the hell that ordeal was and he never bothered to find out what Doctor was trying to do-

Brawler

Brawler got in over his head when he agreed to be the sole cook for his teammates after game party

It doesn't even register to him that he probably isn't going to be able to handle all that on his own until the day of the game—

Alas, poor Courier checks his phone once more to a text from Brawler and let's out the deepest sigh of exasperation you may have ever heard from a man

He doesn't even bother to say no at this point, he simply pops a painkiller that Doctor rewarded him with and now he's on his way to go grocery shopping—

Brawler leaves his door unlocked, so Courier is lucky for that at least because he shows up an hour or two before everyone's supposed to come

He starts cooking right away—

When Brawler does show up, Courier barely acknowledges him because he's got nothing much to say

Of course, Brawler is going on a tangent to thank Courier for the help, all while patting him heavily on the back

Courier interrupts by telling him that perhaps instead of running his mouth he should put on an apron and help—

"Oh, right, right....so whatcha got done so far?"

Now they're both cooking together, and rather eloquently might I add, they compliment each other in the kitchen and don't stumble on each other's feet like many might

They're very good at communicating, except for the few times that Brawler mishears Courier's direction—

They managed to get everything done just in time for everyone to show up, which satisfies Courier's need for perfection at the very least—

Brawler's all excited and offers for Courier to stay and hang out, all while putting his hand out for a high five

Courier stays until Brawler gets distracted—

Hoodlum

So Courier doesn't really mind Hoodlum asking for help, but he definitely rolls his eyes at Hoodlums text/call

This is because Hoodlums request is maybe the simplest he'll have to deal with so far

Why is everyone bothering him this week?

Can't Brawler do it? Swindler? Why does it have to be him?

Courier refuses to do anything at first without compensation, but even if Hoodlum did offer to compensate Courier...he still wouldn't have trusted Hoodlum

After a lot of persuasion that was definitely not the reason Courier decided to help, he caved

The real reason he's helping Hoodlum right now is so he'll stop bugging

Nonetheless, Hoodlum was sick and both Swindler and Brawler were busy

The job graciously tasked to Courier is to take care of Hoodlums pet mouse while Hoodlum coughs like a sick preschool child!

Courier has never had to take care of two animals at once and at first he thinks the job is almost a waste

The entire day, Courier is sitting at the mouses enclosure though, watching for any abnormalities as he now has to tend to sick Hoodlum

When Courier brings Hoodlum a cup of tea for his sore throat, Hoodlum decides to go on a small tangent about how his plans with Brawler are now cancelled

Courier is slightly annoyed, but listens quietly before bluntly pointing out that Hoodlum is sick and that he should probably try to keep his talking to a minimum due to his raspy voice

Of course, Hoodlum becomes embarrassed by Courier pointing this out and so he opts to stay quiet for now

Now that Hoodlum is quiet, Courier's focus was intent on the mouse

At some point Courier took a smoke break and came back to what he thought was an empty cage

He slightly panicked and started scanning the area for signs of chewing or bite marks that could indicate escape, lifting things in the process

After a while passed, Courier had started making a lot of noise trying to move all of Hoodlum's stuff around to find the mouse....which causes Hoodlum to wake up from his nap and ask what the ruckus is

He's trying very hard not to clue Hoodlum in on the fact that his pet friend might have just gone missing...

His excuse is that he's just trying to... organize things....

Hoodlum gives him narrowed eyes before stumbling out of his room to check on his little friend

In borderline panic, Courier tried to block Hoodlum's view

"Tsk, get back to bed. The mouse is fine."

Rustling is suddenly heard from inside the cage though and Hoodlum just deliriously smiles over Courier's shoulder

"I knew I could count on you bro.."

In conclusion, Courier left feeling slightly odd about the whole day and Hoodlum barely remembered a second of it—

Hacker

Hacker never asks anyone for help, so when he asks Courier for it, he's a little wary

Albeit, Hacker is someone Courier doesn't mind helping too much seeing as he knows Hacker would likely do the same for him

Hacker leaves what he needs help with a mystery for Courier to discover once he shows up at Hacker's door...

Courier wasn't very happy about that either, but at least he's not with Doctor again—

When he gets there, he finds that Hackers door is slowly creeping open so he pulls his gun out just in case and invites himself in—

Luckily he'll never need to use the gun though because he finds Hacker in a dimly lit room, inspecting some sort of blueprint

Annoyed by the unnecessary tension, Courier clicked his tongue and made his way over to the table

With a smirk, Hacker informs Courier that he'll be helping him modify his drones

Or course this begs the question, why couldn't Hacker just do this himself?

Well, he needs a handyman to help him hold the tools and wires while he works or tests certain things out—

The job is tedious yet rather boring and unlike the rest might try to do, Hacker doesn't try to fill the silence with any talk he'd find meaningless

But—! That's only while Hacker's intently focused on making sure the wires are properly in their place or that nothing is possibly going to blow up on them-

In between breaks, Hacker isn't one to shy away from teasing Courier about the stoic look on his face as they go out to get something to eat for lunch

Despite this, Courier rather enjoys Hacker's company and he reciprocates the most in a conversation if it's between him and Hacker or him and Swindler

When they come back to work on his drones, Hacker can visibly notice that Courier seems a little worn out though—

As such, Hacker jokes about it, only to see if he can get Courier to tell him why he looks more visibly tired this week than any other

He doesn't open up much, but Hacker doesn't push too far knowing his boundaries and tells Courier that they can meet together on a later date to work on things together—

That is...if Hacker hasn't already asked Swindler-

Cutthroat

Oh hell no—

"What does this shithead need?"

It might take the most persuasion for Courier to help Cutthroat out, however luckily Cutthroat doesn't mind begging him for the help too much-

Courier's pretty worn out by now so anything Cutthroat is gonna ask of him better be quick

Fortunately for Courier, it is

Well...it seemed like it was...

All Cutthroat wanted was his help picking out an outfit to wear for Swindler's little get togethers

Given, he'd have usually asked Swindler for help, however she was busy this week with her own event

Courier bit the bullet so that Cutthroat would finally stop bugging him and now here they are with clothes scattered amongst the floor, Courier sitting on the bed

Cutthroat even asks Courier to try a few things on when he notices that the color schemes might suit him

Although...most of Cutthroat's wardrobe is white

When Courier refuses to try anything on, Cutthroat becomes a little irritated at his lack of should I say.... friendliness..?

". But...Swindler would have tried it on.."

"If you had two eyes then you'd notice I'm not her."

Cutthroat also...never looks in the mirror in fact ..he doesn't own a mirror

Perhaps that's why he becomes enamored when seeing his reflection in the red glassy things that fascinate him

Of course, Courier catches onto this and suggests that perhaps maybe Cutthroat should invest in something of the sort to avoid having to ask for help when situations like this arise

Cutthroat just blinks at him and raises an eyebrow

"Huh? Where's the fun in that though?"

Courier sighs, figuring it to be a lost cause

In the end, there's a pile a mile high of white clothes on the floor and Courier didn't come home till late in the evening despite coming to help Cutthroat early in the afternoon

Also, Cutthroat shot down every idea Courier had for dressing himself and he ends up asking Swindler in the end anyways—

[datura-tea]

I'm so sorry I can't help myself and fell into a rabbithole of checking your stuff out and grew curious about the Painted Heads since I'm also trying to write a tribe for my Courier whose population descended mostly from Filipinos aaaaaa

On the topic of the Filipino diaspora in Fallout's America, how do you think the new landscape affected Filipino cuisine? What is the Painted Heads' cuisine like?

(I'd like to think popular dishes, although they'd have to change the recipe up to adapt to the wasteland, e.g. with the absence of chicken and pork, they'd use cut-up gecko meat for adobo, and they'd use ground brahmin meat with the local vegetables as fillings for lumpia etc.)

!!!! aaaaa omg ok so the painted heads’ cuisine is very filipino, and it uses up all parts of the animal! so of course there’s dinuguan (stew made from blood), there’s bopis (lungs and heart), sisig (face and liver), isaw (intestine), lengua (tongue), all of that good stuff! maybe made from molerat or brahmin in the absence of pork or chicken? and of course there’s tinapa (smoked fish) and tuyo (dried fish) since fish is abundant in lake mead so i guess there’ll be fish in lots of other bodies of water!

i think filipino cuisine - all parts of it, not just the ones with the pretty cuts of meat like nilaga, sinigang, adobo, tapa, menudo, embutido, tinola, etc etc - would persevere in the wasteland since it’s persevered so long here. don’t quote me on this, but i remember reading somewhere that the reason a lot of filipino dishes use the offal because it’s what the spanish colonizers would discard after they get the pretty cuts of meat - not wanting to waste the other parts, their filipino servants would cook the offal and eat those instead! 

of course, being in an american wasteland, the painted heads’ cuisine would still have american influence, so there’s jerky, soup cubes, breads, etc

[akudama-drive-incorrect-quotes]

Akudama Drive Character Opinions/Thoughts Pt. 2

Heyo!! <3 Here’s Pt. 2. I can’t believe this has two parts OMG. Remember that these are just my opinions so feel free to disagree with me! This was just a ramble I did for fun. I know it’s different from what I normally post, but hey! I wanted to try something new. :D 

Please enjoy and message me with anything. And definitely check out Pt. 1 if you haven’t done so already!

Cutthroat: I think I have a special place in my heart for white haired, crazy psychopaths, oop. (Juuzou Suzuya and Rui*) I adored Cutthroat from the very first moment I saw him. [Side note: I’m kind of disappointed that the show went with the pronoun “He” (I was super excited to have a nonbinary character, but alas.] Those little moments in the beginning with Swindler and Cutthroat were weird, but surprisingly wholesome at times and I really loved when he ate the tin of marshmallows, dropped the knife (you know when xD), and pressed all the buttons on board the airbus. I equally loved the serious side of him that showed that he was much more intelligent than he let on (that scene where he throws his knives to reach the button; Episode 3). I just thought that those two different personalities mixed in with the childlike-psychoticness was super refreshing (even if we’ve seen characters like him before). But as much as I love Cutthroat, I have mixed feelings about his death in episode 9. I know some people are angry at Swindler for killing him, but honestly I think it kind of had to be done what with the way that he was acting towards her (love vs. bloodlust. IT'S nOT lOvE). So while I’m definitely sad boi over him dying, I do admit that he was genuinely terrifying during his last moments. (Haha I prefer the Cutthroat that spends his day eating marshmallows, thank you!!)

Brother: Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun anyone? Lmaoo. I liked him a lot. I thought he was a cutie and I really admired the strength/resilience he showed in trying to protect his Sister (something that I’m sure was endearing to a lot of us). I was definitely aware that the two of them were Sus from the beginning when we saw them on board the Shinkansen, but I never could’ve imagined the ending! I originally predicted them being the bad guys of the story and that the Akudama would have to ally with the Executioners. But all in all I’m SO RELIEVED the two of them were able to escape to somewhere better. I loved the role that Swindler played within their lives (even for a short time) and how she helped Brother and Sister show more outward emotions to one another. Also that scene where he was surprised at all the swear words Sister learned was so funny. xD 

Sister: I was suspicious of both Brother and Sister from the very beginning and really didn’t have strong feelings for either of them. Sort of like. “Yay kids…?.” But I’m so glad that Sister really found herself with Swindler and was able to become more expressive and more child-like. It hurts to know that these two children can and never will have normal lives/childhoods, so in a really sad way Swindler was able to give Sister a glimpse into a normal life during her last few days. ;-; I really can’t say much more about Sister, besides the fact that I’m genuinely very happy that the two of them were able to continue living on hopefully in a better place. Her moments with Swindler and Courier were so cute!! And the way that she repeated everything they said was adorable. Also. HER OUTFIT slayed. I was so touched by the sisterly relationship that Sister and Swindler had. <3 

Executioner (Master): DayUM SiR save some of that badasseryness for the rest of us. He was super cool and I think his entire arc around his death was super well done!! A truly Breathtaking end to his life. While watching the show I definitely acknowledged how strong he was, but overall apart from that I can’t say I really had any particular feelings towards him. I have a confession: I didn’t really react too much to his death (I’m sorryyy I’m a terrible person). I appreciated more so about what he allowed for story-wise, I think he was a great example for the moral ambiguities between Akudama and Executioner/the moments between him and his pupil were great, but that’s about it. I think his final moments were very powerful and I could tell that he cared about his pupil a lot so that’s nice, especially in the context of her character growth later on in the show...which is amazing!! 

Executioner (Pupil): I really wished she would have joined the Akudama side. I obviously know that that would never happen, but it would’ve been amazing for her to question the actions of the executioners and change sides. We see that she isn’t driven in the same way that her boss or her teacher were and seemed genuinely affected when the little girl told her that her parents were killed in the riots. It would’ve been so cool to see her fight against Doctor alongside Hoodlum, Courier, Swindler in the train station (Side note: If the circumstances had been different, I don’t think she would’ve allowed Doctor to get her way like that, but who knows?). Another thing I loved was seeing the time lapse between her being a dedicated student to becoming almost a replica of her teacher (scar of some sort with a fierce determination to fight alone), but unlike her teacher, I felt more inclined to like her for whatever reason. I just felt that it would’ve been great to see her rise up against the Executioners and question her own morals further (even if that might have included sparing some Akudama’s lives). But overall, I liked her more as the season progressed. Go Girl! 

Executioner (Junior): This POOR boy had it rough. I mean signing on to be the junior apprentice of an Executioner during all of this?! And also the fact that Doctor literally pierced his heart with a needle AND he later got shot (possibly killed?) Like leave him alone! :00 Haha, but seriously, he seemed super nice and almost seemed like the Executioner equivalent to Swindler (not entirely sure what they’re doing/gets pulled into the mess of the Akudama, etc.). I thought he was super cute. :3

Boss: She was lowkey a bad bitch tho not gonna lie. I found her super cool with a great sense of authority...that is until she ordered all of the citizens to literally be slaughtered. I can understand why she issued the first order of having all the citizens be turned into Akudama, but then like just killing all of them that were rioting?? NOOO. I’m not quite too sure what else I should say about her? I thought she was interesting and would’ve liked to see her fight, or her own past (she seems older so backstory of the Executioners would’ve been fun!) 

Black Cat (A.I) : While parts of Brother and Sister’s backstories were a little lost on me, I liked the addition of Black Cat as sort of a mini-catalyst to the entire hijacking mission in the beginning. I think the cat had a great presence in the first episode (almost a symbol of bad luck from the moment Swindler finds them...OoooOO). Not much to say apart from the fact that like. Yup. That's a robot cat. [Side note: Sort of reminds me of Monokuma xD) 

Hope you enjoyed this! Check Out Pt. 1! 💕

[hazelnutblogs]

I Chased a Dream - My Journey to becoming a Scholar in South Korea

Hello Everyone!

I just want to share my journey as a 2020 GKS Scholar.

It all started with a dream to pursue graduate studies related to my passion. I told my 27-year-old self: I want to be more in order to do more and help more. If I become capable, I can serve the people and most importantly, God. My passion is about protecting and sustaining our environment. While having that passion, I doubted myself and thought that I was old for this and maybe I can't do it. I asked myself, "Can I do it?" , "Do I have the means to push through it?" but, a quote struck me -  If not now, when? whoa! that was really moving, convincing... I then became more eager to materialize the plan that the Lord planted so deep in my heart - that I should pursue this dream and become an Environmental Warrior He wanted me to be.

1. The Treasure Hunt $$$

Since I have decided to pursue graduate studies related to the environment but realized that I do not have the means (meaning money 😂) to do so, I searched all day and night on Google for Fully Funded Scholarships... After several decades of searching, I finally found two (2) generous scholarships: MEXT (Monbukagusho) Scholarship and GKS (Global Korea Scholarship). I called it the treasure hunt since these are FULLY-FUNDED SCHOLARSHIPS. 🤑

2. The Preparation

Found it! What's next? Oh, taxing preparation.

I finally decided to choose GKS over MEXT because GKS is the same year application-same year take-off scholarship while MEXT will have you wait for a year before you can finally go and study in Japan (long-waiting period).

You know, you need to put in a lot of effort. This shows how badly you want this scholarship to change your life for the better. How bad do you want this? Oh, I wanted it as much as I wanted to breathe.

Effort, yes, that is right. But oh no?! it is already three (3) weeks before the deadline and you have work. Can I still do it? to cut the story short, I sacrificed a lot, especially sleep. I juggle work, my sideline, and this application preparation. #ExtraExtraEffort needed.

3. The Three (3) Phases of Waiting

Phase 1. Am I waiting in vain? I sent the documents to the University but I got no response for several days yet. If I didn't receive notice that they received it, I may be disqualified because the deadline is very near. Hey courier, please deliver soonest.

After 3 days, my documents finally arrived to South Korea! I emailed them and they verified that my docs arrived safely and now for evaluation.

The university will conduct document evaluation first and you will receive an email invitation for interview if you have passed the initial screening. . .

On the day of the scheduled selection, me: 😑😒😓😔😢😭😭😭. NO EMAIL YET~ "the date is today I'm sure, they'll announce!"

Me again: *keeps checking the time... Korean Time vs Philippine Time* Started to lose hope, discouraged... *ting* notification. . . . .  GMAIL. Tadah! "Meanwhile, we are planning to conduct a Skype video interview for selecting GKS 2020 scholar. Please tell me your Skype ID, contact phone number, and available time."

Oh My Gosh! The time (PST) I received the email was 6:36pm while the time of Gmail that they sent was 4:30pm (KST). Delayed. hahaha. Only the selected applicants will receive email and move on to the next selection phase - INTERVIEW!

Phase 2. Interview. Oh, this will be via Skype and it was my first time installing it. haha. Then, I decided to take the interview at 11:00AM (KST) which means 9:00AM (PST) hahaha. To tell you, I have work on that day! I just asked permission if I could go outside for a few minutes.

*Ring...* *Ring...* Skype mode on. (I guess I was the very first interviewee on the list since I've chosen the first time slot haha) *nervous!!!*

"Annyeong Haseyo, Jeonun Hazelieyo! blah...blah..." and then the internet connection became weak that the call stopped. OMG. I was lost in the momentum. They tried calling me back. I thought they wouldn't call me back! I cried in the hotel room after the interview because I was not satisfied with my performance. As in, I probably looked like a crazy woman crying in the hallway where there is CCTV on every corner. But still, thank God I survived.

Phase 3. Announcement of 2nd Round Results (Passers). I never ever expect to be listed. I felt very down. I didn't talk with my colleagues after that interview up to the day of the announcement. . .

The 2nd Round Results was scheduled to be announced on May 8,2020 but was postponed. The results came out on May 28, 2020!!! Imagine the feeling of intense waiting - cannot sleep, cannot focus. Every day you're still thinking if you get selected or not - please announce immediately so that I can move on!

But God makes way. He surprised me, again! It is not by my own strength that made it happen, but it is God's. He definitely gave me this dream I've been hoping for! - Saw my name on the list, #35 out of 35! hahaha😂😂😂. Another reason for me to panic or worry. Why?! because I do not know why my name was placed at the bottom part (it was not listed alphabetically). Since I passed the 2nd round but my name was at the bottom, I decided not to take my hopes high. Do not expect much so that you won't get hurt. lol.

The school recommended 35 of us at that university. These will further be screened by the National Institute for International Education (NIIED). So, my fate lies in NIIED.

4. FINAL ROUND SELECTION OF 2020 GKS SCHOLARS

The announcement which was scheduled on June 26, 2020, was postponed. Hahaha. We had a mini-heart attack. All of us who applied have this agony extended. Imagine, the 2nd Round Results and the Final Round Results were always postponed. Can you sleep peacefully? 😂

June 29, 2020 - GKS Final Round Successful Candidates were posted. I thought it would be postponed again because the results came out at 6:06 PM (PST).

Again, I was at work at that time. I was very busy with rapid testing activities. I said to myself I will check the results later, but no, all the scholars around the world are sending screenshots and pdf of the result. I was tempted to look immediately so I just glanced.

At first glance, my name was not there. I felt down. I felt sad. I said to myself "better luck next time, I will still continue to apply...". Then I tried to calm myself so that I can still focus on my work. I looked again the pdf file carefully, one-by-one, to see who got in and congratulate them. . . and then, TA-DA!!!

GKS-G-2020-728   PHILIPPINES   . . . I saw my name!

Waaah! I jumped out of joy! That was the happiest day of my life, that despite the adversity, uncertainty, hardships, I nailed it! I claimed victory in Jesus' name. Amen.

After almost a month, I finally received the Official Invitation from NIIED:

To those who want to change their life for the better, here's my advice:

Dream, Believe and Act on it! Fortune favors the brave!

[nix-the-cryptid]

new vegas lesbians react to heisenberg

cpl betsy: he was alright, for a man.

veronica: wheew am i glad to be out of smell range of that guy. don’t get me wrong, he’s cool and all, but has the man never seen a shower?

dr. dala: this lobotomite’s incredibly unique biology… his electromagnetic abilities… did we give him that? *dr 8 makes radio static* we didn’t? he came here like this? i must study him more

christine: he’s smart, and he’s helped me with my mission, and he isn’t trying to get in my pants, so i guess i like him. he’s got a noble goal but the level of murder that goes into it, i just can’t get behind. he says they would’ve died anyway but i still don’t like this whole “reanimated corpse army” thing. sounds like something the brotherhood would adore which makes it even worse

light switch 1: bet he knows how to turn any girl on

light switch 2: yeah, and i bet he has, probably touched every light switch in the sink

omerta receptionist: if he thinks he can sneak that giant hammer past securi— oh. he did. the new doorman is even stupider than i thought.

pretty sarah: he’s a friend of the courier who killed cook-cook so i may or may not have given him a free room for the night. he wasn’t any trouble, except for that loud snoring.

francine garret: that mother fucker! he thought he could just walk right in here and get a free room just cause he knows that courier who helped us out. i told him this wasn’t the kings, and he had to pay the same cost as everyone else. he got so mad, fisto was like 30 feet in the air before security escorted him out. james would’ve had his head if that fucker damaged his precious robot

OMG I LOVE THIS SOOOO MUCH!!!!!

God, I love these sorts of things. Figuring how characters from different games would react to each other is always a lot of fun.