#on top of work and life of course
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It’s been hard to motivate myself to do art for a long time, so I’ve been going back to basics which is binging dozens of hours of content and drawing traditionally in a frenzy.
Anyway, here’s Caleb, I really missed him ✨
#critical role#caleb widogast#traditional art#the arrival of ai art has been a huge knock on my motivation#on top of work and life of course#so drawing traditionally has been a nice way of taking back the joy#an ai might be able to scrape this drawing and turn it to mush but at least this picture is real#the texture and sheen of pigment on paper that was given to by my late grandpa#it’s just a silly fanart of my blorbo but#anything to get me drawing again#anyway I’m not dead I’ve just been Working (derogatory)#anyway have a nice day I hope I’ll post here soon again
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one of the things mourn watch rook has the most comments about/seems pretty knowledgeable about when they're there is the way the necropolis will just shuffle rooms around every now and then on a whim, so I'm headcanoning that rye's previous area of expertise, outside of general watcher duties, was keeping track of and rediscovering these lost or displaced areas. that, and basically acting as a sort of tour guide when need be, such as on the day they met varric.
'have we really misplaced the ashen cathedral again? *sigh* that's the third time this year, we really must strengthen the wards. oh well. someone send for ingellvar, they'll track it down in no time I'm sure. and it might keep them out of trouble for a while'
#rye's mourn watch dwarf father figure was responsible for maintaining and securing the buildings and structures of the necropolis#not quite in the top leadership of the construction side of the watchers but pretty high up there#so it makes a lot of sense to me that way too they've been to more sections of the necropolis than even most watchers go#and know the buildings and structures very well#rye would just like. set out alone for a week track down a missing mausoleum and nod in satisfaction as he updated the maps haha#this instinct for isolation and disappearing into the immense ancient silence shared only by the dead and the weight of his own grief#had no long term effects on his psychological development. of course. literally don't even worry about it he's fine :)#'I go on short hectic jaunts into the world of the living. and then I come back here and it's quiet once it becomes too much to bear#I think that's what they call work life balance or something' (it's not)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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fyi, saying who tops and who bottoms in a fictional relationship based on the looks is extremely sexist and homophobic actually ❤️
don’t even try to start it, bub. i didn’t give any ground to my preferences in the previous post, apart from the obvious joke in the tags.
i prefer charles bottoming just because it makes my brain go brrrrrrrr more than if was the other way round. and that’s it, no other reason. i don’t really care if it's banal or boring or too cliche. like i said, i don’t mind charles topping but i don’t engage with this type of content because it’s not for me, it doesn’t make my brain go brrrrr, you see?
they’re not real people and i don’t think having any opinions on their sex life is wrong in any way. that’s all and i won’t be answering any asks about this topic any further ❤️
#btw it’s not only about cherik i have fixed preferences for all my ships#it’s just the way my mind works#it’s not that deep#of course i understand that’s not how it happens in real life but fanfics don’t reflect real life and characters aren’t real people#i can’t believe i’m at it again#i’m cursed to have to defend myself over top/bottom stuff in every fandom i walk into#get over it#it’s literally not that deep
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guys @spectralreplica drew a madoka magica x tm2 design for mira! look how cute this is I am obsessed 😭
#she gave me the go ahead 2 post it !! we also discussed how a pmmm x tmm crossover would work and what miras wish wouldve been etc#it started bc she said mira would fall for kuybeys shit and 10000% yes LMAO then it snowballed but i didnt expect actual art AAAA#LIKE GAAHAHH THIS IS SO CUTE#ALSO SO MUCH THOUGHT WENT INTO IT AAAA!!!#the hourglass motifs/black widow motifs LETS GO!!#MIRA BABY UR LIFE IS A SERIES OF POOR CHOICES BUT WE BELIEVE IN U.......#tm2#for me#pmmm#fav#save#go follow her RN!!! for rly good ort#there is Lore. if anyone would like more pmmm x tm2 au Lore Let Me Know#I will. Summarize. Add On. Etc.#this exists in a universe where she was already a mew AND THEN stacked the pmmm style magical girl stuff on top of that-- which is Wild#and very cool. 90% of the Coolest concepts are from spectra not me I Of Course do the Silly Ones
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this is the second weekend in a row i’ve spent working. and i don’t know if i’m just acting like a baby or a delusional but this CANNOT be normal or acceptable. i hate it here and i cannot live this way.
#these past three weeks have been the most stressful experience of life#ive been so tired and burnt out and I don’t know how people do this#even without all the drama and crisis we’ve had to address you STILL have to do your regular workload and fucking GOALS!#which is corporate bullshit that basically makes you do extra work on top of your workload under of the guise of ‘learning more skills’#and ‘challenging yourself outside of your daily work tasks’#i already don’t have enough time to do this as it is and now I gotta take a course in SEO!? absolutely not#I had a revelation the other day though that I don’t *have* to stay in a job that I don’t like#I mean now is not the best time for a career change given the state of the economy#but I don’t have to stay in this role or at this job forever#there’s so much time to change things#but I have been feeling so uninspired and unhappy and stressed. I wish work wasnt the space where I have to be challenged to grow#i wish I didn’t feel like my self worth and job were tied together but that’s how the corporate machine WORKS#i just hate it here. and i hate the fact we gotta live like this
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god idk whats wrong with my brain it doesnt matter how tired i am as soon as i lay down to try and sleep i feel like im having a heart attack and being hunted for sport
#maybe i should try melatonin again#this moving disaster crisis 4 months ago is still not resolved and i start my second semester on the 6th and i just#i need this to be over with!!!!!!! i need to focus on studying but i cant do that when the environment is so hostile and fucked up#i know i could do better if i just didnt have to deal with bullshit 24/7#and of course on top of all of that T Antagonizer is still on their quest tor uin any hope ill have at a mildly happy life im just#im so over it man#25 years of nonstop disaster and only having myself to rely on and constantly being in survival mode im FUCKING OVER IT#i have no time to do anything im passionate abput when i work and am in school full time and theres ALWAYS A PROBLEM#all i have the energy to do when i rarely have free time is watch tv rotting into the couch#quarter life crisis hours are now#as if my entire life hasnt been a crisis#i dont feel passionate about anything these days and it just depresses me more#i just dont have time to be passionate#and yes this is capitalism fault. the abuse. the working myself to death to try and escape the abuse.#no supports to escape. your only option is giving up everything you own and going to a shelter and thats obviously crazy#and dangerous. ive been homeless and pulling yourself back out of it is nearly impossible.#being alive is really not groovy lads ill be honest. im terrified.
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Challenge level: Impossible (Patreon)
#Doodles#Spoiler alert: I was in fact not normal about it lol#You can tell those first two are old by comparison for how short my hair was at the time lol#From back in July! I guess I just hadn't been drawing myself much there for a bit huh#As for that last one I swear I Promise I drafted this in September it's not a reference I'm just actually genuinely Like This lol#I didn't choose this life etc. etc. lol#From the top!#Burst of inspiration wherever could that have come from hehe <3 What could've happened in July that made me want to draw I wonder hehehe#Bit funny considering I fell off posting - not like the inspiration stopped! And what I Did draw was Very lol#I still have some of it in an ever-present photoviewer because I like being able to look at it at any point <3#Still inspired! Still want to do more studies!! So pretty ♥♪♫#Sleepy thoughts - I had my Pkmn Diamond/SoulSilver field dex/guides for all of like two months and then they were packed up again#And this was Before the Pokemon burst! Sheesh sheesh#I love my field guide dexes they're so neat and well-made ahh#I have got a couple craft projects still back-burnered - those papercrafts to do with Pokemon are still on the list!#A little Pokedex-notebook is so fun.......And I have Pokemon stickers that I could put in it or on it......ah........#I do want to! I will at some point the energy will return to it eventually#Alright so the main course lol#Went fabric shopping for plushies because yes I Am determined to Make Thing! Another that's been a bit backburnered - but I will!!!#I do still really want to it's turned out pretty good for far :) But while I was shopping!!#We did the usual small talk thing with the store employee like ''Oh what are you buying this for'' that whole back-and-forth#So I explained that I was making plushies and needed the tear-away stabilizer to draw the embroidery outline on#In my head I was being very tempered because while /I/ know that I'm making a Max plushie not many people are familiar with him (wrongly so)#Lol#So we continued and he was like ''Oh cool I've made some patches with embroidery :)'' so I asked of what and he lead with CotL's crown#And then-#Look Zarla's work was Already on my mind with Max as my project I was in a Delicate Way already do you really expect me not to talk about it#The answer was no and he walked away with a Vargas recommendation in his pocket I hope he enjoyed it lol#And I got my fabric and started work on Max's face it's fine it all worked out in the end it's all good it's great lol#I Was encouraged to come back with my finished project so that's on my to-do once I get him in a presentable state haha
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Hi !! Long time no see recently I’ve been. So busy with work and school, my application for early graduation got accepted so next semester I’ll take six million units in one shot and graduate early. This is in fact what I’m doing this semester too, I feel like I’m living on campus 🥲 I see my professors more than my friends and family ….
Anyways I’m not dead ! I have many ideas that I still want to draw when I have time or energy, it’s just that I have neither right now 💀 I hope you are all doing well !
#grass talks#life update#so excited to take a clinical research class on top of the lab I’m currently working in#and then a hundred more courses. I’m so excited. I love academia <- self hypnosis#the goal of becoming a published author is so close but the cost is so high (I’m so tired)#and then my other extracurriculars have been fun but I recently got some kind of shin injury#probably from like repeated high impact#since my body is weak to begin with it’s a race to see if I can condition it faster that it can break down on me LOL
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i hate mfs who are so genuinely-down-to-the-core-persistently-and-thoroughly pessimistic
#idk why im so vitriolic towards my roommate lately. im not gonna worry about it either i just gotta get through like two more weeks#but like she has such a skewed interpretation of ANYTHING i tell her and it makes me feel like im crazy#ive found recently that i actually quite enjoy interacting with people i dont know i just love people watching#not small talk because i cant do that but i work retail at my college so i like telling people where to find what theyre looking for#or if someone im not friends with but have class with comes through and we have a quick chat about how we feel about the book we're reading#people who give compliments and walk away people idk who go out of their way to come up to me and just say hi and nothing else and walk awa#which did happen and i loved it#but i tell roomie and shes like wtf thats so weird everyone here is so weird#like yeah it was odd but i liked it! it was sweet of her#i love people!#and i love my writing class where we dont do any formal writing and just write about our feelings#and my prof who cannot raise his voice or put any emotion into it trauma dumps about his childhood and how he wishes he could live in natur#he always gives me the most glowing over the top but genuine praise on all of my work#and he remembers that i scrapbook because i mentioned it in an essay once!#but when i tell her about all that she dont give a gaf about the compliments#bc shes so distracted by how weird it is that my prof knows that about me#we know a lot of weird people tbh.. and obv not everyone is the coolest person#but idk i think i just take issue with having such a fundemental and unshakeable belief that life is miserable and everyone is evil#because that becomes interpreting everything thru that distorted lens and not even questioning#thinking about when a guy we know came up and said hi to us.#and i heard what he actually said but roomie misheard him and thoought he said something rude#and to this day she doesnt believe me that he didnt say what she heard because she thinks hes evil and of course he would say that#(but he literally wouldnt do that. like i cant stand that guy because hes annoying not because hes disrespectful)#whatever she left for class and isnt pissing me off by burping rlly loudly rn so i dont need to keep writing this post smile :)#┈ ✴ ﹙rambling﹚
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The list of new AO3 relationship tags that I've christened with unhinged pornography:
Aiura Mikoto/Akechi Touma
Aiura Mikoto/Akechi Touma/Saiki Kusuo
Akechi Touma/Saiki Kusuke
Nendou Riki/Saiki Kuriko
I don't currently have any plans for more new and exciting ship tags but never say never!
#and of course the bathroom rating blog remains the most unhinged work I've created. may never be able to top that tbh lmao.#nopsi nonsense#nopsi fic#saiki k#saiki no psi nan#sknpn#the disastrous life of saiki k.#tdlosk
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#it's my last shift in 2 days and then i'm leaving this job i'm actually so happy i no longer has to work there! 🎉#i need to find a new one asap of course but i never had energy to do so on my off days so i'll focus on that now#i've endured the hardest shifts with freezing -25-30 °C where the heater conditioner did absolutely nothing#shifts with the roof leaking trying to not let the orders of customers get wet constantly wiping shelves throughout 2 days on top#of everything i has to do#these past 2 days sewage system froze and i had no water to wash my hands or use the restroom properly..🤦♀️#i know the wet hand wipes are bad for ecology but man they continously saved me and also i had to wash my hands using water from kettle and#i had to do it outside freezing of course because the sink and restroom are in another building and i didnt have time to constantly walk#there.. and this on top of 2 last weeks of december being especially batshit crazy stressful and having heated karen encounters each shift.#and it was so hard on me because i am a nonconfrontational person and i don't like arguing with people#but i learned so much in these months of working there and for that experience i am still grateful :")#it's bittersweet that i won't see the friendly regulars that were always kind to me anymore tho 😔 and my coworker came yesterday#and we spoke for like an hour or so and he said he is is sad that i'm leaving because i'm such a nice person and a great coworker 🥺#ngl this made me sad too but life goes on.. he said he'll be leaving in a month too#said he didn't think that i'll leave first 😂#i woke up almost an hour ago from 3 bg3 related dreams in a row btw 😂🤦♀️ i need to play 🙈 ok i need to get up first..😭#tbd
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My adhd hyperfocus has me doin all sorts of fucking reorganizing and cleaning today like i’ve completely stripped my bed and am washing everything as well as reorganizing my manga shelves to make more room for more manga (i basically doubled the space i had and also as you can see one piece has its own special section due to length) and im contemplating rereading/rewatching my hero academia since i cant bring myself to get rid of the volumes or figures.)
I also might deep clean the rest of my room but i have to be up in the morning to go to school so- idk if I’ll do that tonight.
Idk where ANY of this energy came from but it sure as hell is here.
#lifeblogging#personal#anyways BEHOLD!!!!!#my manga collection#10 years in the making!!!!#you know its 10 years cause if ya zoom in you can see hetalia volumes#a lot of these series are unfinished#tokyo ghoul is finished imo cause i consider RE a different fuckin beast#i also have yarichin bitch club hehe~#i intend to complete fire force and blue exprsist#as well as demon slayer and fullmetal’s hardcover copies#the hardcovers of fullmetal are my favorite#i find it hard to ‘keep up’ with series though#i likely will complete the my hero collection if only to have it for the day i return#idk somethin about it still lingers#i also intend to add dunmeshi and more ito collections to the vast array#as you can tell I am a shounen fan~#i am of course also working on completing the one piece collection#the top shelf is for the figures that will eventually be on display#i have a smaller seperate shelf for non manga works like some western comics#i have volume 1 of the walking dead compendium and all the latest copies of the TAZ comics#and volume 1 of boyfriends#i am very VERY proud of this collection it is one of the many constants in my life
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Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol
#There's a water problem in the apartment so thats been taking most of my attention lol.. the way maintenance happens here is just#this big long vague wait with no clear communication. You just send in a request to the apartment building and then you might hear from the#any weekday from 8am - 4pm any time after that. Sometimes it's quick but sometimes its like days before you hear anything. So then#you just have to be operating under the assumption that at any time during working hours you might get a call or a knock at the door#Like if you were expecting company at any time for a week straight ghjhj.. ANYWAY.. I've been working on making a little discord#server thing for the game maybe for playtesters to communicate in initially i guess but then also after it's out or... something like that.#no idea how all of that works. but you hear about people doing it. or something... Still not entirely sold on the idea since I'm not really#a big user of discord format speaking (like little chats and stuff) but.. again idk.. seems like.. common.. for things...(< socially odd#hermit fumbling through trying to imitate what '''normal''' people do/enjoy/desire lol..). Since I think my biggest issue is I am very bad#at socializing and thus marketing since a lot of that is social. The type to just google ''what do people do about games once they've#made them'' and just go after whatever the top 10 things apparently are hjbjhbjh... But like I said. still unsure it will be utilized. it#all feels very awkward to me. then again most things do. But that's what the ''overall progress'' screenshot is from. the little channel#where I've been posting updates to myself lol. Also ''coding'' in that being used very lightly consdering it's ren'py and I'm only using#the very bare bones most basic functionality of it lol. Extremely intense highly daunting master level coding such as ''if x then y''. gbjh#slacked on writing a lot due to the evil maintenance and such things... and just general... appointments... events... aughhhhhh#I think it's Goose Time here or something because nearly every day I hear big V shaped rows of geese flying by like multiple#times a day and they're so pretty and neat to watch. They've really inspired me somehow. Today it was rainy and gray skied and high winds#and cold (some of my favorite most beautiful weather) and I went out to check the mail and like 6 or 7 rows of geese fluttered#by in the air. I felt like that meme image of that guy that looks kind of weird (william dafoe??) and its like black and white and#he's looking up at something almost teary eyed wide eyed in awe.. The goose... those are my goose.. the universe sent those gooses just#for me and the high speed winds blowing my coat open and chilling my face... a tender platonic kiss from the world is often delivered#by way of chilly weather and bird formations.. peace and love on planet earth truly..#OH and of course.. boy with boy!!!! shout out to those little mcdonalds toy animal plushies from like 2006 or something. I found the#gray cat one and was like.. hrmm.. I have one of those as well (a real life gray cat). surely they're friends now.
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Questions are being taken until after episode 8 airs!
Thank goodness someone already asked about the necklace so I don't have to do it myself. I enjoyed all the questions about Kongming's headwear logistics and Maezono Keiji's shorts too.
A+ great show, great fandom, great thighs on Sekiguchi Mandy.
#paripi koumei#ya boy kongming#ya boy kongming!#no but seriously i hope they answer the necklace question because i want to understand whyyyyy#you can go 'oh it's completing the costume' for kongming's inflitration#but it's the set kobayashi wears in every other present-day scene#so like ???#did kongming NEED to wear both necklaces? or any at all? it's a flashy suit and besides does kobayashi have absolutely no others?#this is on top of the whole suit thing to begin with mind you#i genuinely want to know the non-gay answer#the idea of a talisman might work i guess? but idk man#anyway i'm really living my best life thanks to this drama#there were some good interviews out this week too like the one with the costume designer that was like#'you absolutely couldn't put kongming's outfit into a dryer like that and have it survive. at least use a bag!'#(not exact quote of course but you get the gist)#all the staff and cast interviews have been so good#what will i do in 2 weeks?? :(#i definitely want confirmation re: which items eiko wears that were actually moka's personal clothing & accessories it's all so cute#i need to shut up and go to sleep zzz
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literally consumed by thoughts abt my freaks .
#theyre giving me sooo much inspo for the religious aspects of my world which. its kind of a feedback loop bc these ckncepts were already#vaguely there but i was iffy on them BUT my freaks r inspiring me 2 make them more concrete.. its all coming 2gether.#i think maybe there will be only 2 like Primary goddesses. names pending... but see. well teehee. ive got it all worked out ok in my head#basically one is life the other is death Easy we get it. so basically the gidt is when you die. sad. rip. first.of all. but anyways#rhen your soul is like there and then un reaper comes 2 get u so u go and then yr in the underworld OMG THE GUY FROM FNV IS FROM KY?#SHUT UP NVM THE GUY FROM KY IS FROM KY YESSS YESSSS Y3SSSSS YESSSSSSS#AWESOME. FUCK YEAH GO BIG BLUE GO BIG BLUE GO BIG BLUE YESSSSSSS#anyways. sorry#um. what was i on about KRBRJGBDKNF the wildcat coursed through my veins...#oh right..soooo in the underworld your soul sort of hangs around until its time 4 u to be reincarnated. n then indeed u do get reincarnated#immm debating. bc like. Obviously ... population grows#so im debating on if like. Can new souls be created. or should it hust be that the souls sort of... split in 2 on occasion. sighhh. i have#2 think abt it...but anyways yes. so you have reapers who take your soul when u die AND reapers who deliver souls to babies So that they r#people.. teeheed. but basically originally deathgoddess managed both bc shes the older sister and lifegoddess was just fucking about up top#having a greag time like. creating squirrels and trees and shit. but then people keep on dying and getting born and it gets too much#so dg basically tricks her sister into coming to the underworld. method pending...#but yeah.. eventually lg escapes But realizes that she can only stay up top for half of a day. and this is why day and night existtt we get#it... but yeah now she manages the delivery of souls and dg manages dead ones.#and im imagininggg another girl whos sortnof a scribe/chronicler for all the souls originally inspired by geshtinanna from sumerian myth.#bc originallyyy i was thinking abt having my guys be originally from sumer... but now that theyre in my fantasy world im judt gonna take#inspo. bc also it felt kind of weird to just be like. taking actual sumerian religion ykwim. but yeah#dg and lg are also inspired by ereshkigal and inanna. Obviously lmao. but im gonna tweak them quite a bit#oh anwhays. my 2 freaks i think ive mentioned them. Basicallyyt they were sooo in love abd then Aur naur they doid... sad..... so then they#get 2 the underworld they hang out theyre happy and then lg is like Ok time 4 u to get reincarnated and theyre like yeyyyyy and then theyre#supposed to be put on seperate sides of the world. and probably would never meet so theyre like Actually fuck this ! and bust out#and then theyre judt On the run from the death authorities for the next few millenia#and they can possess ppl btw. so yeah now rheyre judt running ariund#but also theyre so divorced bc being one of two immortal beings. and having one other person whos immortal. You get sick of them so fast#so theyre very divorced and have literally thousands of years worth of shit to bitch about but they also do have crazy sex all the time#anddd theres like one specific reaper assigned to their case and well theyve got a weird gay thing with him too... so yeah
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I talked to a recruiter yesterday ❤️
#moves on with my life in a way that finally feels like me#anyways#He gave me some good insights about the afa#but he ALSO gave me the other route i didnt know existed#which was rotc -> serving after college#i would be an officer#from there its only getting chosen for flight training#and then working real hard to make top 3 :)#the recruiter was also cool#he asked me what jets i wanted to pilot snd listened to me go on my insane little rant#he brought up my dreams then broke them though because i me tioned that alot of sources ssid the f-22 was gettinv retired snd he said no#which is like YEAAAHHHH#then i was like “I also like F-15's they're rlly cool��#and he say#“oh f-15s are probably gstting retired though lol” LIKE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#of course i take it with salt because he isnt a pilot but he IS a military member#so there must be....... some truth.
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