#once upon a time i used to actually write things and post them for people to read

[swankpalanquin]

covering more desk time today so going to write about tom and greg fishing instead of doing any actual work while i sit out there

[steviewashere]

I want to write something sort of meta, hear me out on it. Sorry, if this hits too close to home. The idea came to me and I needed to get it out of my system. And...would you look at that, another half-written fic.

Steve ends up getting really into Star Wars after Dustin shows him to it. Like, so much that he gets himself involved with conventions, cosplay, collecting anything and everything he can. He's involved in a fandom space. Learns the world of fan fiction. And let's say that maybe, during his time figuring out where he wants to go with life, he picks up writing fanfic as a hobby.

It encourages him to get an English degree. Encourages him to lean more into that hobby, but then expanding upon it to write original short stories and small novels that go published. But he holds strong to Star Wars and fandom and finding his spot cemented in it. He's been a fan for...nearly forty years at this point (set in 2024, ugh I know).

And maybe he dabbles in online spaces here and there. He ignores the insufferable adults in the Star Wars fandom (the "um, actually..." guys, btw). Indulges the effort of typing out his handwritten fan fiction, ones he used to bring and pass around at conventions, ones he'd let Eddie read with a shy look in his eyes. And he posts them online, has a Tumblr account, maybe does a few short things on Twitter, definitely is on AO3 (albeit newer, having never attempted online fan work before).

But then...then he gets his first little bit of hate. Vicious, gross comments on his work. Sometimes in private messages. Even publicly, once, on Twitter. It irks him. He holds strong, he does. But then it gets worse and worse and somehow, worse. Younger people claiming he's too old, others claiming that he can't write for certain characters because they're out of his age range, that he can't ship certain people, he can't say that a character would do this or that, that Star Wars is media for a younger audience (despite being somebody who saw it "back in the day"). But that he...That he's not supposed to be there.

And that last little comment sticks with him for a long time. It makes his effort and his attention and his love for writing fanworks falter. He stops. Thinks about the characters he loves, of Leia and Han or even Luke and Han or Lando and Han (listen he loves writing Han). But then he wonders if it's even worth it, to indulge this interest anymore. Yeah, maybe he's older than the source material. Sure, maybe he was introduced to it a little later than most, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love it. Yet, his attention towards Star Wars completely falls away.

He stops watching it. His DVDs going dusty and unused. Starts putting away all his action figures, because what if he posts a photo one day and somebody sees them and claims that that's not for him and—

Then, he goes completely offline from fandom. Even if he still gets the emails from users who actually enjoy his stuff, ignoring them completely. Focuses on using the internet for work. For his novels, for the little stories he actually gets paid to write. But his work just isn't the same. The passion, despite being an original story and original source material, is completely dwindled.

His hobby has been stripped from him. His interest has been knocked straight out of his hands. And he just...moves on.

Even if it hurts to go down into the basement of he and Eddie's home, eyes catching on the see-through bins of original action figures, Lego sets, comic books. Even if it makes something strangle in his chest when he opens up the browser on his phone and it immediately opens to a new ship he'd been getting into: Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker—because he finally picked up The Mandalorian, because he was finally talked into watching it when he had the free time.

And then it all bursts over when Eddie finally approaches him about it, when they're enjoying a night-in, sitting around lazily on their sofa.

"There's a convention coming into town," he comments, "supposedly, Hayden Christensen is going to be there. We should go, try and meet him."

Steve just grunts in response.

"Oh-kay...or we could just stay home and watch the movie?" Eddie suggests. "Been a while since I've seen Darth on screen, telling Luke about"—

"I don't want to," Steve cuts in quietly, "isn't really my thing anymore."

Silence then follows. For a beat. Then two. A third.

"Not your thing?" Eddie asks him incredulously. "Not too long ago you were raving all about that new show that's coming out! That you saw they were doing lightsaber whips and you were excited to see how they worked! What do you mean it's 'not your thing'?"

Steve shrugs. "Grew out of it or whatever. Got more important things to focus on now." He sniffs, trying to keep himself held together, grumpy and firm in his decision.

Eddie's stare drills into the side of his face. Scalding, just like that lava was in Revenge of The Sith. "Baby," he speaks softly, "did something happen? You haven't even...you don't read your beautiful little stories to me anymore. In fact, now that I think about it, I haven't even seen your lightsabers around here. What's goin' on?"

He fiddles with the hem of his shirt. A ratty plain white t-shirt that he wears now when he's lounging around the house. It used to be one with the Millennium Falcon on it, but that's tucked down far in his dresser. Not for him anymore.

"Steve," Eddie presses, "did something happen?"

His stare stays down at his lap, still fiddling with his shirt. Fingers flexing unfamiliarly in the strings, unlike the loose ones on his Star Wars shirts. "I just"—Steve heaves a deep sigh—"it's time I grow up. It's...not for me anymore. Too old for it now, I guess."

"You guess or you know? Because nobody's too old for anything. Unless, y'know, you're like eighty-nine and in terrible health and trying to hike Everest, then..."

Despite everything, Steve finds himself chuckling. A giddy little sound here and gone in a breath. He shrugs again, albeit smaller this time. Crumbling within himself. Quietly, honestly, he admits, "People were being mean to me about it online. About my writing. That I'm doing it wrong, that I—that I'm too old for it. That I don't belong because of my age." He finally brings himself to look at Eddie, blearily because his eyes are aching and wet. "I got to thinking and I...maybe I've just been too caught up in my own bliss to realize that those people are right. They're right and I shouldn't be into kids stuff anymore."

Eddie makes a soft, sad cooing noise in the back of his throat. "Oh, baby," he breathes. "Baby, those people don't know a single damn thing about your love. But...but I do. I know that you've seen every single Star Wars movie more times than I've probably eaten in my entire life. And what about all those Halloween costumes over the years? I didn't dress up like Leia for nothing, Mr. Solo."

Steve scoffs wetly. Goes to protest, but—

"And...and that handshake! The one with Dustin? You guys have had that for nearly forty fucking years! So, why bother indulging any of these...these hardasses on the internet? Did they sit next to you on the sofa as you fucking curled yourself like a shrimp and wrote every little intricate detail of a kiss between Luke and Han? Have they read your work while you blushed all shy, while you tucked your hair behind your ear and asked for the most earnest of feedback, to make sure you spelt things correctly or put a comma in the right place? These people, did they get to see you blossom and grow like a fucking bushel of roses over your hobby?

"Because I know I did. And even though you were nervous about your words on the paper, you still came to me. You still wrote and wrote and wrote until I had to bully you into breaks, just so you wouldn't ruin your poor wrists. If they had even an ounce of the passion that you do, they could write their own stories. They can make their own endings and make the characters the way they imagine them.

"They choose, instead, to—what—make fun of you because you have a space to express yourself? Because you found passion and turned it into something so beautiful, even I—a dungeon master, someone supposed to be amazing at storytelling—can't put into words? You found a way to do that, Steve. And you do that with kindness. You do it for free, mind you. If their only passion sits within sending you vitriol over people who aren't even remotely close to real, then they're the ones who don't belong.

"If I've learned anything, fandom is a space to share and bounce off each other's words. It's community and it's belonging and it's sharing what you love because you just love it. Fandom isn't bullying. Bullying is just bullying, Steve.

"And everything you've ever done in your life, in regards to fandom and outside of it, is so much better than hate. You may be a nerd or...or a little bit overzealous or whatever, but at least you aren't hateful. I think being hateful, that's worse—don't you think?"

Steve can only stare in response, fast tears down his cheeks, hands shaking in his shirt. Mind reeling. Because, yes, Eddie's right. And he maybe should've talked about it initially, but the hurt festered and festered and tangled and grew until he was nothing but an unhealed scab. And Eddie, he's the antiseptic to his uncovered cuts—the ones deep on his heart, where all his love is—even for things considered mundane, like movies, like TV shows.

"Steve," Eddie carefully murmurs, wrapping Steve's hands with his own, "you don't have to do something right to love it. You don't have to be a certain way to be happy. If Star Wars made you happy, then why give it up?"

He sniffles and chokes back on a sob. Because, again—damnit—Eddie's right. "I miss it," he admits quietly, "all I've done is miss it."

Eddie gives him a small smile. Something achingly soft that reaches deep within Steve. "Then open your arms and welcome it back, baby," he whispers, "even if you can't be online anymore, do it for yourself."

"I...I want to try it again, I'm just...scared. What if people hate it all over again? What if they're just nasty to me and shut me down and push me to the side and"—

"But what if they love it? What if your readers have missed you just as much?"

"You think?" he meekly asks.

Eddie's eyes widen and his eyebrows shoot up his forehead. "I know, actually. Your emails keep coming in on the computer's desktop because I keep forgetting to log you out. And, baby, you would not believe how many people have been eager for updates, for your return." His thumbs work into the backs of Steve's hands, warm and sure. "And, if it helps, maybe I can moderate your comments before you look at 'em? I'll read them to myself and if they're mean, I'll delete them."

Steve blows out a breathy little chuckle. "You'll just get mad at them," he gently teases. "But that doesn't sound too bad. Maybe I should try again. Not yet, though. I'm not ready."

"That's okay," Eddie assures, "take things slow. Maybe we start with watching the movies again? Getting your lightsabers back on display?"

"Can we go to the convention, too?"

"We can do whatever you want, Stevie."

For the first time in a long while, Steve finds himself smiling. "I love you," he whispers.

"I know."

[helps-the-writing-brain-go]

Inspired by @moonlightcycle571's post on the JL and AO3.

History won't tell your story (But I will)

Billy hadn't thought that becoming a superhero would mean being so crowded.

His Patrons are a bit of a given, 6 equidistant points anchored in his mind that blaze with inner light.

They give him powers, he gives them a little space in his brain.

If Billy sort of...squints? ...With his mind? He can sort of make out figures in the light, but they make his metaphorical eyes water and hurt, and his Patrons prod and hover like he's a baby when that happens, so he stops after the first couple of times.

The Others are the actual surprise.

Billy'd taken the transformation in stride, started helping people he hadn't been able to before and started to kind of get a little hang on things.

Then the side effects of his impromptu power-up by Wizard to kick in.

The whispers Billy hadn't realised he'd been ignoring in the back of his mind flood full force to the fore to the point that he can't see or even hear himself think.

Billy had dived downwards and crumpled to the ground the moment his feet hit something solid, clutching at his hair and hoping faintly he hadn't flown through a bird or three.

In his mind's eye, waves, upon waves of figures, cast into shadow by his Patrons golden light, take shape behind them.

One of them, the most obscure and yet the brightest lit for how close it is to Billy has it's back turned to him, the line of it's shoulders tight, but before Billy can ask, the others swallow him into the crowd, surging forward to vie for his attention.

His Patrons, unmistakable and more Present in his head than the Others, stand as ocean breakers against the bombardment of fragments of lives, of magics, of centuries, of welcomes and warnings that flow to him, bullying their way through his consciousness in an attempt to find purchase in his mind.

Shades of the Champions, or so Billy understands, greeting the newest to join their ranks.

Billy doesn't know how long he'd lain at his impromptu landing spot, sorting through everything and greeting those in the mood to be friendly.

As months pass, Billy tries to learn more about them but realises that even if the time periods they were from had rich records, they themselves were often barely even a footnote in history.

It didn't seem right to see their efforts forgotten, or worse yet, claimed by others. But he's new to the greater world, and he doesn't have much proof to back it up, not without digging up people best left alone or showing things magical and possibly dangerous.

So he writes.

Billy had an AO3 account he'd used to write the odd bit of fic here and there.

Now he focuses on more RPF/historical stuff, or so people think, and quickly gains notice for how historically accurate his fics are, plus how much of them make sense, if one takes out the authors supposed fondness for including magical themes into his stories.

They span time periods, races, religions and relationships. There's a little bit for everyone, be it romantic and familial. It's easier to cover the human experience when once has lived so much of it. It helps ease the othr Champions eagerness as well, with them being actually Seen, even if through the lense of supposed fiction.

[ganondoodle]

okay now, im a little pissed off- i wont be reblogging the post bc its and old shitpost and i dont want to attract more notes on it but

i am so fucking, and i mean FUCKING, tired of all the shit ass excuses some people try to make to defend ganondorf being a nothing burger character

this dumb ass comment really goes all in too, and here i painfully see how much damage skyward sword has done to him bc people cant fuking think i guess "as of skysw he doesnt have an true motivation of his own- hes evil just bc he is there nothing else to it" shut the fuck up man oh my god, you dont think thats a problem? you just accept that? no no OOT also already showed hes nothing but evil tm uwu he doesnt have a reason - AND THATS A PROBLEM YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON

if you think that giving ganondorf a miniscule amount of ANY sort of sensical reason to do what he does, a backstory, fucking anything 'changes him into a different character'- HOW in the FUCK do you not see the problem here

and my favorite (refernceing a different character) "If hes evil, like ganondorf, which means an absolute evil, then his backstory wouldn't matter a lick" HELLO??? HELL FUCKING O???? "absolute evil" do you know how you sound like??? also EVERYTHING MATTERS oh my god, but no no of course it wouldnt matter and make no difference if you knew more about a character, no, actually, knowing less of a character is better even! why even write anything tbh? you just give them a label of good or evil and then you dont need anythign else heehoo i cannot believe this shit is now hanging on one of my posts, im struggeling to even dismantle it bc its just so goddamn stupid what do you mean it woudnt matter???????? if i knew ganondorf had a personality (especially totk bc its the worst case), if i knew he had loved ones once upon a time, he laughed and was allowed to feel like a person, whatever made him go down a bad path to end up making you defeat him would mAKE IT ALL HAVE MORE OF AN IMPACT (this is assuming that whatever path it is leads him to oppose you but also .. it doesnt have to mean hes evil or done all bad deeds, guess what, you the player could also be playing the real "villain", wouldnt that be a change of pace .. or it wouldnt, depending on how you look at it (oh NO shift of perspective???) it already is, even if i personally prefer it ALL being a spectrum and not just a label of good and bad and just rolling with this badly definable bunch of words)

do you know why i didnt give a flying fuck about the final battle in totk?? bc its all fucking NOTHING, ganondorf is a goal post with a face that got "BAD GUY" written on it in big red letters stapled on it and nothign more, you cant care about nothing and the point of any story at all is to fucking CARE

honestly a reason why i hate both "redeemable" and the good and evil descriptor is that its so ... limiting, redeemable, what does that even mean really?? it just sounds like you are applying some weirdo christian sins to make up for with good deeds shit onto characters that are, or should be, meant to make you feel something and be a pinnacle of jesus instead, like a checkbox, a scoreboard, and now its being mainly used as a negative word to dismiss legitimate criticism of boring or shitty writing bc giving any character any depth at all now automatically means you want to redeem them and thus absolve them of their sins or some shit, make them uwu perfect little good guys which is not the point (even if there are people like that, sicne guess what, theres lots of different ideas of things all around, inlcuding this hellhole- and yes there are shitty ways to give a character depth! the problem then isnt the motivation to give them depth, its the WRITING of it)

the whole good and evil thing also is just so darn limiting, what does evil even mean, who defines it matters alot, what does good mean, the definition is also really really bendable- link kills more living things than ganondorf ever has yet he isnt evil (bc hes on the side of hyrule, the designated good gouys uwu which means anythign they do is okay), the royal family having a torture dungeon and persecuting the shiekah into submission doesnt make them evil uwu but the gerudo have to suffer for the "crime" of having birthed ganondorf at some point for all eternity i guess

(as well as the very very obviously stupid turns and things ganondorf does and doesnt do literally just bc they needed him to do soemthign you could call bad even if it makes no sense at all, why would he attack his own fucking people out of nowhere, why destroy everything, literally what for, why give himself up if he wants to rule its jsut as stupidly nonsensical as the dumb magic pebbles that just gives random powers out just to force the outcome they wanted to happen)

redeemable, saveable, whatever, giving a character depth doesnt have to mean you want them to join the good tm guys either and im so fucking tired of this way of thinking, EVEN considering that hey ... it would be cool actually to have a ganondorf as the main guy, but we all should know that would only happen if he is a servant of hyrule, which i would consider to be more out of character than ... GIVIING HIM ANY SORT OF DEPTH??? to sympthaize, be conflicted or see the guy you need to defeat has a point is like, not a bad thing?? you can make someone be the most sympathetic guy of all time and still make you fight him ??? and i will repeat again, ganondorf being a nothing burger (espeically in totk) hurts EVERYTHING, everything suffers from shitty writing and lack of writing, the thing that link and zelda are almost just as flat istn .. isnt good either?? its also bad but hes got it way worse (and the racism oh bOI)!!! (there is a reason why ww ganondorf is widely seen as the best one and itse literally bc he says ONE or two lines that may make you think omg .. he is person.... he might FEEL OoO- man the bar really is below the ground isnt it)

and they dont even care to try to make him actually be dislikable, he doesnt tease zelda with killing her father or soemthing, he doesnt have any sort of connection to any of them, every line he says (in totk) is like a prepackaged microwave villain line, you could apply it to anyone, even rauru and it wouldnt seem out of place tbh (which is BAD), more depth would have connected him to the story, the world the literal everything which means people care which means a better story i dont know how to explain to you that you should be able to care about characters??????? he gets the stamp of "evil guy" on his head and they expect you to be happy with that, accept any stupid thing they make him do and others say about him without question? do you NOT feel at least a little insulted???

and like, this is still written, this is a piece of fiction, they had to sit down and write all that, or .. well, NOT write it, they decided to do it like this, despite the ocean of potential in front of them, you could do so many itneresting thigns with this world and they jsut dont and then theres people like this that are so entrechned into this boring ass writing they think that its the point, liek the point is its bad hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

"but hes not meant to be a person he jsut ev-" SHUT the hell up, nevermind the whole curse thing is an englsih trnaslation thing and also perhaps not meant to be taken literally, you think that makes it ok? that well there was a demon once (who also doesnt get any sort of depth btw!!! problem shoved one place over but still the same problem!) so that means hes not actually a person but idk a demon puppet or soemthing- doesnt change anything imo, are you not bored? are you not tired? are you happy with not thinking? not being engaged with at all? to see chaarcters to utterly flavorless you fall asleep and choke on them? i am not, i love thinking, im addicted to it even, i think every day even, right now too, they got a convenient excuse to put not even the barest fucking minimum of writing care into a character and you are jsut going with it!! where are your tastebuds buddy??

[a-most-beloved-fool]

Tell us more about your hate for Dr. Mora...?

Yes!

The thing with Dr. Mora is that the people who wrote him weren't actually properly aware of what they were writing. What they intended to write was a nuanced father-figure who gets to reconcile with his formerly no-contact son. What they actually wrote was... a bit different.

I've talked about him on here before, so I'm going to go ahead and link that post here, because I think there was good discussion (and it's a bit shorter), but if you want the long answer, it's below the cut!

From even before Mora's first appearance in The Alternate, we know that Odo feels a great deal of resentment towards him as a direct result of how Odo was treated when he was in Dr. Mora's lab. He is mentioned more than once before he ever appears on screen, and always in negative or neutral ways (such as Odo speaking about the 'Cardassian neck trick' that he clearly didn't enjoy performing).

When he does first arrive on station, Odo is very obviously uncomfortable with him. He does not want to spend time with Mora - in fact, he explicitly states that he does not see Mora as a father-figure, and that he does not trust him.

Now, the plot of this episode features a gas which caused Odo, when in his rest-cycle, to unknowingly turn into a seemingly-mindless monstrous creature. Seemingly mindless, I say, because the creature does have enough of a mind to remember his resentment of Mora and repeatedly target him. I, personally, am of the opinion that That Level of resentment does not come from nothing and can't be easily dismissed.

During this episode, Mora is the first to realize that the creature is Odo. He pulls Odo aside and informs him of this. I'm just going to leave a section of the episode summary from Memory Alpha here, because I think it says it better than I can:

Odo proposes that the gas from the planet they were on affected him somehow, but Dr. Mora suggests Odo may have been responsible for unsolved crimes in the past. He then says that now that they know the truth, none of the station staff will trust Odo, and advises Odo to return to the scientific center with him, stating he has experience with Odo.

To me, that reads as a wildly abusive interaction. That is Mora trying to manipulate Odo by distancing him from his friends and casting doubts on Odo's ability to do his job (which Odo takes great pride and comfort in). He takes the two things most important to Odo - his connection to his coworkers, and his career, and dismisses both of them as false, somehow. It's deliberate, and it's cruel. The phrase, "he has experience with Odo," especially gets on my nerves. That is not a wording that would be used by a man who sees Odo as his son or as a sentient being. That's how you talk about a feral animal or a science experiment. Frankly, I think Mora does see Odo as a science experiment. He's curious about Odo's interests only to the point that he thinks it's curious that Odo can have any interests or preferences at all. He doesn't actually respect Odo as a person - he only sees him as something to study.

There's a very small amount of conversation between them at the very end of the episode where Mora says that he never knew how Odo felt about their time at the lab, and Odo agrees to let Mora be a small part of his life going forward, which is supposed to be a start down the road to reconciliation, but it doesn't feel earned. It's cheap and, honestly, a little insulting.

Already, I do not like this man, but the episode The Begotten is where things really go downhill. This episode is supposed to show a proper reconciliation between Odo and Mora. It tries to iron out all of the resentment that Odo still holds about how he was treated at the lab.

It fails, utterly.

This episode starts when Quark acquires an ill changeling infant. Odo is the one to recognize the changeling for what it is, and takes it upon himself to try to teach the changeling about the world and how to shapeshift - made more difficult by the fact that Odo is still stuck in his Humanoid form.

Sisko suggests that Odo get the help of Dr. Mora, citing the fact that Mora had worked with a baby changeling before. Odo flatly refuses. Mora shows up anyways, entirely uninvited, and Odo does not want Mora anywhere near the infant - and certainly not without supervision. We know that Mora's methods for 'training' Odo involved pain and discomfort, and Odo is opposed to allowing the same methods to be used on the infant. He wants to take his time, and let the infant grow and learn at its own pace. But the changeling is slow to learn, and Starfleet is impatient, and, eventually, Odo is coerced into using pain to force the infant to change its shape. This works, and both Odo and Mora are delighted. Both acknowledge the utility of the other's method - Mora says that Odo was correct to build a connection with the infant, because it clearly likes him, while Odo says that the pain was also necessary.

This is supposed to be read as a good thing. The use of electricity and other pain-inducing methods is, I believe, supposed to be read as a 'necessary evil' - like requiring a child to eat their greens or take a bath when they don't want to. It claims that Dr. Mora just wanted what was best for Odo, and that he loves Odo. It even goes so far as to imply that Odo is being cruel to Mora, by keeping him at a distance and not forgiving him for the past.

In my opinion, that is an absolute load of hogwash. What I see is not a parent who tried their hardest but was flawed. I see a man who tortured a child, and now refuses to understand why the child may resent that. Part of the issue is just that it's a really shitty analogy. There is no world in which tossing a child into a Pain Machine is the same as requiring a child to comply with a set bedtime. It's abuse, straight up. I cannot see that as anything other than Mora deliberately causing actual pain to a literal infant. Frankly I do not care that it "got a result"

Now, it's true that, with Odo, Mora did not initially know he was working with a sentient being. But firstly, that excuse doesn't apply to the new changeling child, and secondly, he never once truly apologizes. Throughout, he maintains that what he did was justified because it got results. Even when he acknowledges that Odo's method of building a connection with the child helped, he still believes that the pain he caused was necessary, and that Odo's resentment of him is nothing more than an overreaction.

The episode seems to agree with him. The episode, in fact, seems to think that Odo should be the one apologizing to Mora for not forgiving him sooner! Everything we've seen of how Odo interacts with Mora suggests that Odo was traumatized by him (and I do mean literally traumatized, not just the way the word is now used in pop-culture), and somehow the episode appears more concerned with the fact that Mora is hurt that he's not allowed a place in Odo's life. Odo's discomfort around Mora and around letting Mora near the child is seen as irrational.

Mora never actually acknowledges faults in how he treated Odo. He apologizes that Odo felt hurt, but never actually accepts that he caused it, and when pressed, deflects blame onto the Cardassians and deadlines. This is mirrored in the episode by Starfleet and Sisko giving Odo deadlines re: the infant's development. Odo only turns to using pain on the child because he's running out of time - and then he does use pain, and the infant responds, and Odo decides that Using Pain On Children Is Good. This was written as a spot for Odo to relate to what Mora went through and to sympathize with him, with understanding paving the road for reconciliation, but it just. it pisses me off. This is just the fucking cycle of violence, illustrated in full-color.

(I also disagree with how they wrote Sisko in the episode, tbh. That man adores babies. You cannot convince me that he could hear the word "baby" and not immediately do everything in his power to protect the changeling baby from Starfleet pressure. Like, c'mon.)

So, while the episode sees a 'reconciliation', I see a man who was abused by his father-figure slowly get coerced into using the exact same methods, and then decide that they were correct and justified after all. It reads like a horror story, to me. The message seems to be, "you should forgive your abusers if they're your parent," with a side of, "corporeal punishment is fine and often good, actually," and a little dash of, "it's cruel to go no-contact with your parent, because you owe them for raising you. it doesn't matter what they did to earn that treatment - you're overreacting."

Obviously, I don't believe this is what the writers tried to write. But it sure is what it looks like to me! And I know that I'm not the only one who reads the episode this way.

To be clear, I don't hate Mora because I think he's an abusive 'father' - though I do, certainly, think that - I hate Mora because the writers were entirely unwilling to acknowledge that he's abusive in any real capacity. They wrote an abuser who was actively abusing, on screen, and pretended he was just a normal loving father who screwed up a little, and who didn't deserve how poorly he was being treated. They could have done fantastic things with him! Instead they blindly wrote... that.

[siswritesyanderes]

Hii! Would you ever consider writing a yandere snowjanus x reader fic or imagine?

-🐣

Oh boy, I love it.

Imagining they both noticed you at around the same time, separately.

This could be in the Capitol or in District 12; the difference does matter, as far as power dynamic and the tactics available to them and frankly their hairstyles, but for the sake of this post we'll say it could be either one. If necessary, maybe I'll make a separate post for what they're like specifically in the Capitol or specifically in the Districts. (Actually, whether you're a Capitol citizen or a District citizen is also a means of variation, so really there are four different combinations, unless we treat Sejanus' kind of District-born Capitol citizen status as a separate category, in which case five; being District-born Capitol would only matter in the Capitol setting, not the District. Does any of that make sense?)

They both fall for you, but Coriolanus is better at hiding it behind a formal, personable mask. He observes that Sejanus likes you, and if it were anyone else he would feel annoyed and possibly threatened, but he feels pretty in control of Sejanus, so he actually nudges him closer.

His thought is, if he can get Sejanus to do all the work of courting you, he can pretty much slide in there effortlessly once that's done. Let Sejanus clear the way, ward off suitors, prove his loyalty and affection. (Meanwhile, Coriolanus can focus on his University work, his mentorship with Dr. Gaul, whatever other ladder-climbing he's got going on.)

If Sejanus manages to actually win your affections, Coriolanus can use Sejanus' affection for him to add himself to the relationship.

If Sejanus can't win your affections, then at least he got rid of the other suitors. Coryo can take it upon himself to be charming and win you over, and then he can graciously allow Sejanus access to you as well. He does actually like Sejanus and enjoy the idea of charitably sharing someone like you with him; he just will always see himself as the de facto highest-ranking and most important member of the polycule.

The way this looks, in practice, is: Sejanus admires you from afar and feels a passive envy towards any other romantic entities in your life. Coriolanus urges him to act on these feelings, needles the productive insecurities and soothes the unproductive ones. Sejanus trusts Coriolanus when he says that certain people in your life are taking advantage of you or hurting you in some way, believes him when he says that getting rid of them is the right thing to do.

So, Sejanus does things that, left to his own devices, he might only have fantasized about.

It's Sejanus' money and shooting skills backed by Coriolanus' rationalizations and manipulations.

Inside, Sejanus knows that what he's doing is wrong, but Coriolanus is good at making sure the worst of him is rewarded with praise, attention, and you.

With you, Coriolanus is smooth and flattering. He has all the social graces and charming repartee down to a science, if not an art. He is observant, accommodating, and just generally great to be with.

Sejanus is less polished, more endearingly stuck in his head. He's a smart, witty guy, but around you he gets really shy and earnestly wholesome in a way his years in the Capitol have not encouraged. He's been bullied, and he's learned not to be too vulnerable with people, but he finds himself saying really heartfelt stuff to you, and that makes him feel even more helpless than knowing how many crimes he's done to get here.

Coriolanus loves the degree of control over Sejanus promised by the fact that he's the only one who knows about the crimes Sejanus has committed. Like I said, he genuinely likes Sejanus. It feels good to know Sejanus is in so deep and can't turn back. He's going to want to have the same kind of leverage on you, whether it's secrets, financial power, or whatever else. He needs to make sure you need him.

Being with them is nice. They're cute, they're pleasant, they make you laugh.

Sejanus is one of the few people you can talk to about not liking the Hunger Games who will explicitly agree. Coriolanus just sits silently during these conversations, rolls his eyes fondly at both of you, and reminds you not to say any of that in public.

The fact that Coriolanus basically is a Gamemaker now is something that Sejanus weirdly tolerates. You're not sure how the guy who threw a chair in anger, back at the Academy, has resigned himself to just sighing about the inhumanity of it all while sharing a loveseat with his Gamemaker boyfriend. Maybe his time as a Peacekeeper tamed him somehow.

He's comfortable. You're also comfortable. It's weird.

This isn't a kidnapping scenario; you're just in a relationship with the two of them, and as long as you don't try to break up or withdraw in any way, it's all smooth as satin.

If you start going against the grain, though, you're going to find out how many hooks Coriolanus has already put in place. You'll start to see the strings on everything in your life, including Sejanus.

You want to take a trip with your family instead of staying in town to attend a formal event with Coryo and Sejanus? All of a sudden some private statement you made in the past about disliking the Games has been flagged as treasonous, and you're not allowed to travel until the matter is resolved. (If you go to the event with them, the issue swiftly goes away. He explains that he had Dr. Gaul pardon you.)

You want to take a break from staying over with them every other evening, because someone in your family is sick or injured? Suddenly, the hospital can no longer care for your relative for an affordable price, because the Plinths' donations have mysteriously stopped and treatment prices have skyrocketed. Coriolanus is glad to personally pay for them to be cared for.

The more you push, the more stuff will fall apart. If the first little intimidation tactics work as intended, you won't have to see the full extent of the trap.

Coriolanus gives you a jabberjay in a birdcage, as a gift, and uses it to spy on you. He might place Sejanus in charge of obtaining information from the jabberjay, because Coryo loooooves to keep his hands clean.

(Let me know if you liked it!)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you know if Riddle, or Tray, ever stands up to his mother? I think i saw it in a Pinterest post once of teen Riddle being slapped by his mom and Tray taking him away.

His background is sadder than Shoto Todoroki from BNHA

We don’t really get to hear about how things are going back home with Mrs. Rosehearts outside of one brief instance. In 4-3, Riddle is leaving for winter break and mentions he intends on speaking with his mother, though he isn’t optimistic about her listening.

Trey states in the same part of the story that he isn’t allowed at Riddle’s house (because Mrs. Rosehearts has banned him). However, Riddle is still invited to visit him and Chenya at the Clover family bakery (though it’s very unlikely Riddle would be able to, since he hasn’t canonically seen Chenya again since the unbirthday party of book 1).

We never get a follow-up on how the conversation between Riddle and his mother went. It’s never touched upon again, and his mom isn’t really brought up beyond this case. (I did happen to write a short piece about Trey, Riddle, and Mrs. Rosehearts interacting though, if you were interested in seeing my own interpretation of this idea.)

Riddle spends most of his time at NRC since it’s a boarding school, meaning there are few opportunities for him to directly interact with his mother. Even if Mrs. Rosehearts were readily accessible to him, I highly doubt we would get to witness Riddle or Trey doing much to talk back to her. As we see in book 4, Riddle is still quite meek and uncertain when it comes to speaking with his mom. Trey, meanwhile, is generally very non-confrontational and may still be dealing with his own complicated feelings about interfering with what are family matters. (Recall that the last time he encouraged Riddle to be adventurous, it resulted in his friend being severely punished and Trey may harbor guilt over this occurrence.) I feel that neither of them would realistically develop the courage to talk back to Mrs. Rosehearts when only like half a year has passed since Riddle’s OB incident as opposed to like seventeen years of Riddle living under her rules.

***CONTENT WARNING: I will be discussing abuse at length under the cut, so please be advised to avoid reading further if the topic makes you uncomfortable.***

Regarding the comic you saw on Pinterest, it is fan art. That is in no way canonical; Mrs. Rosehearts may be very stern and have a temper, but she has never slapped or otherwise put a hand on Riddle. The closest thing we get to a slap is this panel from the manga adaptation, which isn’t even a slap. You can tell from the movement lines and the FWP sfx that Mrs. Rosehearts is just quickly pulling her arm away since Riddle is trying to latch onto it in an attempt to get her to listen to his protests. There is also no mark on Riddle or harsh slap sfx to indicate contact was made.

Now then 💦 There's something very serious and relevant to this ask I'd actually like to discuss, so I hope you'll stick around to hear me out on this.

I know none of us really like Mrs. Rosehearts (which is fair, she has done a lot of terrible things to her son). However, I think it's dangerous for us to speak about her as though she's a total monster and nothing more than a monster. I'm NOT going to stand here and advocate that she has done nothing wrong (she definitely has committed many wrongs). What I'm saying is that I don't agree with her being treated like "just" an abuser.

Let's say we do demonize Mrs. Rosehearts. We see only her negative traits and allow those to define her entire character. This creates a scenario in which she is alienated and dehumanized, left as a caricature of a woman that is solely known for hurting her child. But the thing is, this ISN’T how abuse really works. Few abusers are completely wicked people through and through. Part of the reason why it is so difficult for victims to leave their abusers is because abusers almost never start off abusive. They usually act totally normal, and the abuse often doesn’t come until later or specific situations arise. It creeps up on you in an almost insidious manner, and you don’t expect it coming. I’d also like to mention that abusers often don’t act with the intentional thought of, “Yeah, what I’m doing/saying is abusive”. Abusers typically justify their actions or convince themselves they are acting out of goodness. They don’t do bad things “because they’re bad people”, they do bad things because they think they’re GOOD people. Some abusers may even be victims themselves.

By painting abusers (even fictional ones) as cartoonishly evil, irredeemable, or always cruel, it makes it harder for us to believe the very real danger that we, whom we see as “good” people, could become “bad” ourselves. It makes it harder to believe victims when they report abuse because “oh, the abuse isn’t THAT bad”. It erases the idea that abusers are also human, and that humans have the capacity to be awful sometimes or to perpetuate hurt. It makes it so much harder to identify abuse because we’d only be looking for the most extreme examples of it rather than noticing the small, subtle signs. By “othering” abusers, it’s inadvertently denying so many nuances of abuse... which ultimately is counterproductive.

I would like to point out that even in the example provided of another abusive parent, Endeavor is portrayed with some nuance. He physically and verbally abused his wife, neglected the children he deemed worthless, and pushed the child he deemed to be his successor to the brink. However, Endeavor is also shown to remember a detail as small as his (arranged) wife’s favorite flower when she only told him about it once. He is notably much more lenient when training his first son, who didn’t have the ideal Quirk he sought. Endeavor at one point even confesses to pursuing being a hero in order to avoid the demands of fatherhood, which demonstrates a realistic insecurity and vulnerability… his humanity.

The same could be true for Mrs. Rosehearts. We only assume he is “just an abuser” because we see her in such a limited scope. There are valid reasons to believe why she is a “good” person outside of how we see her acting in Riddle’s recollections, and this may help to explain why Riddle feels so hesitant to “stand up” to her. I would really recommend reading this post, which goes a lot more in-depth about the complications surrounding Riddle’s relationship with his mother. Again, I am in NO WAY defending Mrs. Rosehearts; I am only pointing out that abusers—no matter how horrible their actions—have identities beyond the label of “abuser” that should be acknowledged.

[parvulous-writings]

Could I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, and Halsin react to being stuck in close proximity with gn crush? - Fluff anon

Notes:  My requests are currently open, though limited! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!

Astarion

Initially, Astarion is rather grumpy about the whole situation; being stuck in close proximity with anyone is going to initially make him a little frustrated. He likes having the freedom to move all his limbs as he pleases, thank you very much.

However, it doesn't take him very long to start flirting, or making risqué comments to you. He's of the opinion that, despite you both being stuck together, he might as well have a bit of fun with it whilst it lasts, right? What else is there to do, if not seize the moment to make a few cheeky jokes?

"You know, darling... Things normally happen between two people who are so close..." His voice isn't much above a whisper, but you can hear it loud and clear. "I do believe there may be a game around a situation such as this..." He taps his chin in mock thought. "What say we give it a try~?"

He very much enjoys giving you little, teasing touches. Nothing too risque, they're usually feather-light, the only reason you know he's doing them, is because you can practically see the smirk in those red eyes of his.

Once the pair of you are free, the whole ordeal becomes a little inside joke between the two of you for him, something that he frequently will bring up during your travels together, usually at your expense.

Gale

Gale is incredibly awkward about the entire situation - he tries not to be, he tries to play it off coolly, but alas, it does not work. He's jostling near constantly, his legs always moving in a bid to try and give you more space, and always failing. He just ends up kicking you, which he profusely apologises for every time.

"Oh- sorry, sorry... I didn't mean to- Ouf- Sorry, again-" He falls entirely still for a moment, trying to think of a way out of this little situation. He, obviously, cannot wriggle out of it, lest he bruise your ribs more, nor can he actually see a way out - it was far too dark to make out many details. He would have used his magic, but it felt like any movement only ended up in hitting you, and making the situation ever more tense - and he's not looking to upset you, not in the slightest, he wants the same thing you do! To get out!

After the two of you are finally let out - thanks to a very helpful Karlach - Gale tries to brush over the whole incident. He tries not to touch upon it too much, if at all if he can help it. If you mention it at all, he'll play along in the conversation for a couple of minutes, though his cheeks are bright red, before he excuses himself for anything he can think of - no matter how trivial, or outlandish the thing may be. He doesn't overly like remembering the time he kept accidentally kicking you.

Halsin

Halsin is no small man - entirely the opposite, in fact. Thankfully, though, he is very aware of this. He tries not to move too much outside what is strictly necessary to keep his joints from screaming at him, and he makes sure to move slowly, and with warning. He's constantly mindful that it's not going be easy, being stuck in a confined space with a man who is quite literally as large as a bear.

He's very sweet about the whole thing - constantly asking how you are, and if there's anything you'd like to talk about to keep your mind off of the current situation. He'll only make jokes if you start making them first - he doesn't want to make you feel like he's making fun of you for somehow getting stuck in here with him.

He doesn't try to bash his way out - knowing full well that it may likely hurt you. He just reassures you that all will be alright, soon enough. And it is! He doesn't bring up the incident unless you bring it up first - he knows that some may make comments or assumptions about the predicament, so you touching on the topic first tells him that you're comfortable to talk about it in that moment, and he will almost happily reminisce with you.

[sparks-and-smoke]

Chapter 1: Old Letters (Re-written)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (referred to as Petal) Word Count: 2,787 Summary: Lost and alone after moving to DC Steve visits the Smithsonian and stumbles upon a face he thought he’d never see again. This is a soulmate AU, just so we are all aware. Warnings/tropes: grief, loss, angst, mental health, conspiracy theories, stalking if you squint. Reader insert, no use of Y/N A/N: Yes, this is a little re-write of something I already posted. And yes I like it better this way. Rewrite of chapter two is incoming as well. This is going to be a pretty slow updating fic, because I actively want to make the chapters longer, but I have a small child so writing time is limited. So, IF YOU WOULD LIKED TAGGED, let me know I'll add you to a list <3 Beta read by the ever lovely @voice-of-velhart

Next chapter

The mind numbing cadence of the narrator should have been comforting. Steve was sure it was to others, the simple clear baritone voice explaining the exhibits around him for those who either could not read or could not retain written words. It was one of the accessibility he would have loved to see when he was a young disabled man in the 40’s. One of those rare things that gave him hope for the growth of humanity. But today, as he wandered through the exhibit that laid out his life like a textbook he couldn’t help but want the voice to stop. 

Stop talking about his friends and loved ones like they were these lofty historical beings that were lost to the sands of time. Stop talking about Bucky and Dugan and Morita and Jones like they were heroes or icons... And talk about them as people. The way Pinky snored like a lumberjack once you were anywhere above sea level. Or the way Dugan could drink anyone under the table and still manage to steal a tank single handed.  Or the way Falsworth could get him laughing so hard it would almost give away their location if Bucky didn’t punch the shit out of his arm to keep him silent. 

It was all so long ago now. To the patrons and children who ran around oohing and ahhing over the glory that was the tale of Captain America. And not the tangible raw memory that lived in his head day in and day out. He kept his mouth shut, throat bobbing as he made his way silently through the different collections of his life. The memorials and exhibit pieces that should be his and not locked behind glass. 

He winced as the voice over head got small things wrong. Like his actual birthday. Or the make and model of his motorcycle even though it was sitting right there behind a velvet rope. It wouldn’t have taken a curator very long to fix those little things but he had a feeling this particular set piece hadn’t been a hot spot until a year or so ago when he had been pulled from the ice, and clearly whoever had been in charge had been too busy finding new set pieces to fix the clerical errors in the script. It wasn’t like he was gonna call them and correct them. He would settle for just grumbling in his head like an old man. 

It wasn’t a bad showcase, all things considered. Nothing the Smithsonian did was. They were America’s most famous museum for a reason. But it did make Steve's chest ache. He had been avoiding coming here for most of his time in DC, what did they have here that he could possibly find productive? But then he heard something interesting.

"The disappearance  Mrs. Rogers has been a mystery that has plagued historians and scientists alike for generations…"

Petal, well not actually Petal, that was what he had called her in private. In his letters home. No, the voice overhead had called her Mrs. Rogers. Referred to his wife and that had Steve's full attention. Following the lead of the vocal guide he wandered to a small set piece in the back. A large gallery wall, set with pictures and letters and memorabilia from his life at home, things he had been told were sealed away, littered the glass cases of the exhibit. His wife, his love, plastered all over the wall for the world to see. It didn't matter that her name was blocked out. That they had kept her legal name from the public record. Her face. Her words. They were everywhere.

It made him see red.

“Those were private.” he heard himself say as his eyes scanned over the exhaustive catalog of personal conversations between himself and his soulmate. His nails digging crescent shaped indentations into his palms as he began to shake.

Letters and photos that he had thought lost were now plastered up in the god damned Smithsonian. Things he had never, ever wanted anyone else to see. Fears and sorrows he had written with confidence that only the love of his life would read the words. This was too much, it was too far. He could forgive the misinformation and the lack of fact checking. The bike, the medical information, the uniform, the memorial to Bucky. Those were nothing compared to this, And a red hot rage bubbled up inside him as his eyes landed on a very intimate letter that had passed between the two of them. One that had turned his ears hot with lust at the time but now just made his blood turn to ice. 

No. Those were not for anyone else’s eyes.

He had to leave. To storm into the curator's office and demand this portion of the exhibit be taken down immediately. It was a violation of privacy at its deepest level. An injustice that he couldn't stand for. Not in his own exhibit…

He barely heard the giggling of the women as he passed by them. Anger fueling him forward with an almost mission like focus. Causing him to ignore anyone who dared talk to him unless they had the power to shut this down. But something deep inside him tugged. Told him to stop. To listen. His feet halted on their own accord and he perked an ear. Almost frustrated at himself as he listened in instead of pushing forward.

But Steve never ignored his gut. Not even in a time like this.

“No, I’m serious! You look just like her, it's totally eerie! Look!” Steve turned his head to glance at the women. A group of three, dressed in work attire, clearly here on lunch or maybe they worked at one of the buildings. The tall willowy brunette was gesturing at a picture of Petal. A picture from the war bonds tour with his wife all dolled up for the press. “Curl your hair and slap on some red lipstick and you could totally pass as her…”

The woman in the center stood rigidly, her face hidden behind her hair, but he could tell by her posture she was deeply uncomfortable. “I don’t know. I guess a little.” She said in a quiet voice that Steve could barely hear over the crowd and the tour guide. 

“Oh, come off it! You’re like her Doppelganger. I’m kinda getting creeping me out.” Steve dared a step closer so he could see the girl's face. If she looked half as much like his wife as her friends claimed she must be stunning. His wife had been the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. And yes, perhaps he was biased but he didn’t care. He knew it to be fact. She was everything and even just seeing a shade of her in this woman was too tempting to pass up.

The girl stared up at the wall, the lights of the display case illuminating her with an otherworldly glow. And Steve felt the air drag from his lungs as if it was being squeezed out of him.

She didn’t look like his wife. That was his wife. He would know her anywhere. Could claim her in the darkest night, half drunk or dying he would know her. The visage of her was etched on his mind like a memorial. The sound of her burned into his heart like a siren's call. That was his wife. She was alive and she was standing right in front of him staring up at their love letters like they were the words of strangers.

How did she not know. More then that how was even she alive at all. It had been over 70 years. She should be an old woman, a distant memory if not already long gone from this world and yet there she was. Looking resplendent in the glow of the display case. Steve's mind whirled as he tried to file through all the information he had on his wife, or rather the absence of information. The utter mystery that had been plaguing his memory since he first busted into time square a year and a half ago.

What happened to you.

It had been one of the first things Steve looked into when he realized he had been gone 70+ years. He had gone on a tirade trying to find hide or hair of what had happened to you or your family after he went MIA. He hadn’t cared if you were old or grey or heaven forbid dead, but he needed to know where you were. He had spent the better part of a month trying and failing to find anything about what had happened to you after the events of February 5, 1945. He had pulled S.H.I.E.L.D. files, missing persons reports, death records, it didn't matter. If he had the means he took it. Slogging through every bit of information he could manage.

Turns out after Steve took the plunge Peggy took it upon herself to find "Petal" and offer her condolences. Only to find an empty apartment and no trace of life. Food left on the counters, coffee half drank in the living room, lights left on… As if you had just gotten up and walked out of your life.

It had been Peggy Carter and Howard Stark who had taken it upon themselves to try and find you. Peggy and Howard that took the letters and sealed them away. Redacted you're name from historical documents when you couldn't be found. Protected Steve and his wife even in death.

It had led him down a rabbit hole of sorts. Conspiracy theories and true crimes cases all about what had happened to Mrs. Rogers. to podcasts and documentaries that frustrated him more than helped, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to know. He needed anything, everything that might be an answer. Only to find that his soulmate, the other half of his heart, had vanished around the same time he landed in the ice.  

You and your sisters were a mystery. A conspiracy theory. The display case in front of you said as much. One of the most divisive missing persons cases in American history. Up there with Amelia Earhart and the Somerton man… It had broken his heart. Left him empty and wandering without a sense of closure. He could still feel the bond you had shared, a tunnel of energy that led to somewhere but it was impossible to tell where. Soulmates didn’t work like bloodhounds; you couldn’t just follow the connection until you reached the other end. It was more complicated and the feeling only left him with more questions than answers. 

And now, there you were right there. In front of him looking radiant if not self conscious and the aching tug in his chest was starting to become agonizing. But he couldn’t get his feet to move. As if he had been rooted to the spot where he stood staring like a lost child gazing at the stars. You were just as beautiful as you had always been. And it was hard to move past the simple detail as he stared at her. He was positive in that moment that even if this had been their first encounter he would have been just as speechless as he had been in 1939. And he felt like he could hardly breath as he heard her voice again.

“I don’t know guys, she's beautiful, but I don't see it.” You told your friends. Your eyes scan over the pictures. A strange sensation coming over you as you gazed at the old stills. Meet and greets for the USO tour, Steve kissing his wife goodbye in Chicago, an old photo of the pair together in a park somewhere. The park seemed familiar, but you couldn't place it. Maybe it was back in Brooklyn. You and Captain Rogers were after all from the same borough.

Mary, your friend who has so far been fawning over the love letters and the contents thereof clicks her tongue. “Naww, there is totally a resemblance. Maybe you should ask your grandma if she lost a lover to the war.” she wiggles her brows but you don’t seem impressed. 

“My grandma passed away a very long time ago, and she couldn’t have been Mrs. Rogers because she was soulmates with my papa. But nice try.” you sigh, pulling your arms tight over your chest. “Besides, even if she was, I would only feel bad. I mean look at this! I would hate for the whole world to be able to come and ogle at the love confessions I made to my husband as he was facing down death everyday! It’s kind of cruel in a way. Hanging all of this out for the world to see. Doesn’t it make you uncomfortable to read them all?”

Amanda, the redhead, just shrugged. “I mean she is probably dead. So I doubt she cares.” Steve's hands gripped at his jacket. The callous response has Steve hackles rising up. His girl has shitty friends, or disrespectful ones at least, but at least she still had a heart. Still had empathy for others. Even if she didn’t know that those letters were hers. 

“Yeah but Captain Rogers is alive! I highly doubt he appreciates his private thoughts up on display. I sure wouldn’t.” Your stomach was lurking as you're heart when out to this poor couple whose life had been made into books, and movies, and comics. Their heartache and separation sensationalized for the modern housewife and hormonal teenagers to romanticize. All while ignoring the privacy and wishes of the people involved.

“Since when do you feel so passionate about this. ” The brunette shuffled, starting to look a little ashamed. Good, Steve thought. She should. Everyone ogling at their past heartbreak should 

Steve watched as you seemed to check yourself. “I- I don't know, it just rubs me wrong. It a human decency issue! A violation of privacy!" You turn on your friend with a frown as you realize she really isn't repulsed by this at all. "It's invasive and dehumanizing. It just like Anne Franks diaries being made into a book. It's tragic and horrible. These people went through some of the worst things human beings can process. And we stand her and gawk at their pain.” Steve's chest feels restrictive. Pride and grief twisting around inside it in a harrowing cocktail as he listens to her defend him… Them,

"We shouldn't be here. I'm leaving. And I'm gonna right the museum and tell them how awful this is! That they should be ashamed!" Steve stays back and watches as you turn on your heels and head toward the aviation exhibit. You're friends rolling their eyes at your abundance of empathy. Steve simply ducks his head, to keep you from seeing him as you breeze past. He doesn’t wanna approach you, not yet. He needs to figure out what the hell just happened but as you pull farther away the tug in his chest could crack a rib.

"God, you're so dramatic petal. Are you serious? Really, over old letters from god knows when." Your friend shouted after you. The other rolling her eyes and following the pair. Good to know his girl hadn't lost her spark. Or her sense of justice.

The instinct to turn and follow you is intense. Almost overwhelming but he ignores it. Instead choosing to stay behind and clear his head. Has to have a plan of attack. A strategy. He can’t chase his girl off, he can’t lose her a second time he won't let that happen. No, whatever was happening. Whatever cruel trick of fate this was, he had to outsmart it. Right it. But he knew one thing down to his marrow. That was his soulmate, and she would not slip away from him.

 First thing first, he was gonna get this portion of the exhibit taken down and his letters and pictures returned to him. Then he was going to find out what was wrong with his girl and why she didn't remember. But one thing was for sure he was gonna get her back. Even if he had to start from scratch and make her fall in love with him again, he was getting Petal back now that he knew she was alive. Nothing could stop him.

With a new found purpose and mission Steve pulled his phone out of his pocket to make a few calls. He was gonna get this all squared away so he could focus on the main objective. You.

Found you Petal…

Tag List: @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers, @delilah-hey @tldrthor This is the version going on the masterlist :)

[chil-aglia]

BAD THINGS HAPPEN BINGO CARD

Hey y’all, so remember when I said I’m doing a bad things happen bingo card thing? Well….I GOT THE CARD LETS GOOO

Now I haven’t done these before so bear with me.

RULES TO SUBMIT REQUESTS!

Has to be set in the ROTTMNT universe (during the show/present timeline/apocalypse timeline/movie timeline, an AU of sorts (I mean these bingo spots are basically all AU’s) etc, etc

Main character to write has to be my OC’s (Giovanni, Adriaen, Ronin, Three/Luca. You are also free to suggest Caden. I’ll even throw in Nico and Matt)

Canon characters can be part of it too. Like for example, Leo is helping Adriaen. Or Donnie and Ronin are there together doing whatever it is they are doing. Ya know? Kinda like the prompt ideas

You’re free to submit more than one prompt space for the bingo card. And you’re free to go crazy with your ideas

For the NSFW ones, I’ll be posting those on my NSFWblog, but you can submit the ideas here.

Make sure you also tell me that your request/ideas are for the bad things happen bingo! Otherwise, I won’t know

The fics will be posted here on tumblr and on my Ao3 (I’ll post a link to that after I get some suggestions)

No t-cest btw.

You’re free to draw art for these and idk, tag me or something

And that’s all. If I think of more, I’ll keep adding to it. But other than that…GO, GO, GO, SUBMIT YOUR IDEAS!

You can either comment the ideas here or send it through the ask box!

-----

Sacrifice: Nico is to blame for the Krang finding their base. Is to blame for death of innocent people. Nico needs to fix this. And there’s only one way to end this. Find the Key…stop the Krang.

Mind Rape: Krang Prime has Caden in his clutches. Terrifying him. Torturing his mind and soul. Caden needs an out, he can’t take it. Leo has to take charge now, and god damn if he couldn’t save Caden then he’ll never forgive himself.

Not afraid of you anymore: Giovanni is not the same scared little boy he once was. He’s grown. He’ll do what it takes to defend his family, especially from the EPF. Even if it means hurting someone.

Rape/non-con: Ronin has survived many dangerous things, has been through many battles. Has seen and experienced the ugliness in others. Now…it’s his turn to finally get some closure.

Cry into chest: Giovanni has tried to keep it together. He has been doing well since returning home. It’s only a few nightmares he gets. So why does he still cry? Why is his father comforting him like he’s a little boy?

Flashbacks: A younger Giovanni AU version, where he is fighting against Hypno but gets hit by a mind spell, resulting for him getting visions of his past making him now vulnerable.

Cabin fever: Things are getting a little paranormal in the cabin the turtles are staying in. What’s horrifying is that they are being stalked. And Adriaen is the one trying to fight, or else they die.

Panic attack: Adriaen hasn’t slept in weeks. It’s making him feel like he’s going insane. All because of the ominous white door that has continually been haunting him. He can’t take it anymore.

Self-harm: Ronin runs into the turtles, much to annoyance as he some cuts on his body, but he can’t let the others see. But he’s doing a horrible job at it.

Brainwashing: Ronin is hit with a mystical force that alters his brain. Forcing him to see everything as a threat. Forcing him to think and act like the days he spent in the Battle Nexus arena.

Therapy Session: Giovanni is convinced to give Therapy a go. With the help from his brother Mikey, Giovanni is actually doing well. Until he isn’t upon coming to a party for him.

Drugged: Getting sent back in time was bound to mess with Nico sooner or later. But meeting a human he only heard stories of in person? Getting drugged by them? That was a whole new mess Nico wasn’t used to.

Amputation: The Krang have been defeated but the infected people of New York still linger around. Adriaen sadly has been faced to face with one the more aggressive infected. His leg is covered in the slime, and it stings, burns. They have to take it off. They have to take away his leg.

Addiction/withdrawal: Ronin had always had bad coping mechanisms. Especially during difficult times. But he knows a way for him to feel…free. He can survive perhaps a few days maybe even 2 weeks at most without the drug. But not for long. It won’t take long for him to crack.

Forced to beg: Caden can’t come out of his meditative state. He’s trapped himself in his mind, the pressure getting too much for him. Leo and the others are begging for him to snap out of it, begging for Caden to wake up.

Body horror: Adriaen has a horrifying nightmare about the others turning into creepy monsters/creatures, he ends up having a massive panic attack after he wakes up from the nightmare and Leo is there to calm him down.

All of the other reindeer: It’s not his fault that he had some adult turtle, the leader of the Resistance inside his head. People need to learn that he’s not Leo. He can’t be Leo. So why…why do they insist that he is Leo?

Suicide attempt: Three can't take it anymore. The memories, the pain. It was all torturous for him. Huh…when did he get to this roof?

“I know you’re in there somewhere. Fight”: Matt knows his twin brother is still inside. Underneath all that Krang gunk. That is still his brother. And Matt is going to bring him back.

Forced to hurt someone: Ronin’s first battle in the Battle Nexus (May or may not be canon to the story, but we’ll see)

Non-consensual touching: Being already triggered with immense touching was annoying for Dante. But he powered through it, he had to, especially during his monthly check ups with the doctors in base. But this certain doctor…they just kept touching and touching.

Childhood trauma: Three recalls some trauma from his childhood days with Baron Draxum after witnessing Leo being shocked by the shock collar made by Donnie (takes place during Donnie’s Gifts) (not canon to the actual story for Three)

Shock collar: It was only a prank. Matt found this weird collar, remembering that his uncle invented it and showed it to him. He thought it was fine. But then he just couldn’t take it off. It malfunctioned.

Non-consensual kiss: Everyone’s first kiss is suppose to be…magical? Amazing? Caden wasn’t too sure, he’s heard the stories but never actually experienced one himself. Until…he did, but it didn’t feel right.

Touch starved: Three gets injured, he hates himself because of it. He doesn’t think he deserves the help from his family, more so from Leo. But even he can get clingy when someone shows him the slightest bit of comfort.

[aristaspark]

Notice how Darius didn't look at Brooklynn's arm?

It's not me who's saying this. That's a conversation that's happening in the fandom that I wanted to talk about because I find it truly...idk, kind of icky, and of bad taste.

I decided to speak about it after having stumbled once again upon a post using Darius' lack of "notice" of Brooklynn's arm as an argument for the ship, but it's far from being the first time I've seen people bring it up.

Don't get me wrong, my problem isn't that they're supporting the ship, even though I believe Kenlynn to be endgame, I can admit that there are elements that could point towards dinostar possibly being endgame, my problem is with this argument specifically, because it looks like the ones using it are purposefully being obtuse, and are missing the point. To me it's a really disrespectful outlook on the work of the writers and their handling of Brooklynn's disability.

For context, Brooklynn explains to Soyona that she doesn't like the way people look at her ever since she has lost her arm. I love this scene. We get an insight into Brooklynn and her struggles, into how she is still adapting to the way people perceive her now that she's "different". The loss of her arm isn't brushed aside, it has lasting consequences that the writers don't shy away from. They consulted people with limb differences to make sure that they'd show an authentic representation of their expericences, and you can see the care that they put into telling that aspect of Brooklynn's story.

Now that we established that, yes, Brooklynn is struggling with the way she is perceived, let's talk about why I hate what the fandom makes of it.

There are two characters who react to Brooklynn's arm: Ben and Kenji. And from Brooklynn's reaction, we see that she feels some type of way about it, even though she has very different reactions to the two of them, because the two interactions are VERY different.

During the scene with Ben, we can see that Ben's gaze, despite himself, is drawn to her arm. That's mainly because he had no idea that she'd lost it, but since they were both very stressed and there were millions of other more "pressing" matters he should have focused on, it hurt Brooklynn that his eyes kept ogling at her arm. Neither of them were in the right mindset. He was slightly insensitive in the way he approached the subject, which caused Brooklynn to react negatively. But it's never shown as a black and white thing. Ben apologizes and afterwards, Brooklynn is able to focus on something else because she's an actual intelligent and social being who's aware that simply because Ben looked at her arm didn't mean that he thought of her as less than. It was a human interaction, realistic, and in no way was it implanted to say something about Ben and Brooklynn's relationship, to imply that Ben having a reaction made him a bad friend somehow. This is simply realistic.

Now, Kenji. He first notices her arm when she's talking to Ben, and we can see that he focuses on it for a hot second, before looking up at her face. Needless to say that in that moment there's a million things going through his mind. Brooklynn is alive, she's there, Ben knew Brooklynn was alive, she has lost a limb... We can see he is hit by all these informations which are way too much for him to process. It's NORMAL, EXCPECTED that he'd have a reaction to seeing her missing arm. Any other reaction would have been stupid. It's as if your lover left for a few days, came back with a missing limb and you said nothing. This doesn't happen. Them writing this into the show says nothing about Kenji's status as a love interest, he shouldn't have to ignore it to be considered a suitable partner and I find it kind of disgusting that people imply this. His lover has lost a limb, of course it will have an impact on him.

Now, the second time he looks at her arm is when he's finally reunited with Brooklynn. But simply reducing this interaction to "Kenji looks at Brooklynn arm -> Brooklynn scared -> Bad = Darius better" is a thought process I'd expect from a pre-schooler.

Kenji spends a very long moment staring only at Brooklynn, at HER FACE, expressing his emotions (beautiful scene by the way). Then he WILLINGLY looks at her arm. Kenji's aware that she's looking at him and he has already seen her arm, the only reason he looks down at her arm is because he wants HER to be aware that he has seen it, and one shouldn't have to be a genius to understand this. And he looks incredibly sad because, I know that's crazy, but as someone who love(d)s her, this impacts him. And Brooklynn has a reaction, I know that's crazy. But unlike with Ben, she looks scared, not mad. I won't spend too much time on this because I already did a brief "analysis" of this scene, but I took it as either she was scared that he'd see her differently, either it was the manifestation of all the hurt she's suffered (yk, often when you open up about something, you feel the emotions as you tell the story, and to me this could be Brooklynn allowing herself to show someone she's suffering for the first time, as if a silent conversation had taken place. Kenji asks what happened to her arm with his eyes, and all the hurt comes flooding back as she's reminded of everything she's been through).

Now, some people use the fact that Darius didn't even glance at her arm as, idk, a good thing, patting him on the back for it (which, on its own, is incredibly weird to me). Yasmina and Sammy didn't look at it either, but since they're not shipped with Brooklynn most don't care, it's not about disability but about somehow gaining points in the battle for Brooklynn.

But I'm like, you have to purposely being obtuse to use this as an argument. If I was Brooklynn and I was presumed dead for a long time, and when I came back I had a limb missing (implying an immense amount of suffering) I would absolutely want my partner and my friends to notice it ??? ESPECIALLY the person I love?? Actually, if he didn't notice I would straight up hate him because that would just mean that he DOESN'T CARE.

Implying that strangers looking at Brooklynn's arm and her loved ones reacting to her evident trauma are the same thing is wild, but using it as an argument for shipping is worse and, to me, an insult to all the work the writers have done to tackle the subject of disability. There isn't some checklist of people who looked at her arm and people who didn't, Darius (as well as Yaz and Sammy) don't deserve a cookie (or Brooklynn's love for that matter 🙃) because they didn't look at it. Ben and Kenji reacting to her arm doesn't mean that they somehow care less about the fact that Brooklynn's alive or that they love her less than the others, and Darius isn't "special" for not having looked at her arm, because Sammy and Yaz also didn't. It simply means that they are well written characters who react to things in their own, sometimes clumsy way.

What bothers me is that these scenes clearly weren't implanted for shipping matters, but are part of the characters' journeys with Brooklynn's disability, and her own journey. Them being present doesn't somehow put a definitive stain on Brooklynn's relationships with Kenji and Ben, things don't work like that. If anything I find Kenji's scene with her to be very touching, because you can just see how devastated he is for her, and how frightened she is.

It's not the fact that people look at her that hurts Brooklynn, it's the reason and the manner in which they look at her.

Idk to me it's kind of disrespectful to the work the writers did because it's implying that they tried to say Darius was the one for Brooklynn simply because he didn't care for his friend's severed limb. I think there are better arguments to make for dinostar, and less insensitive, than to reduce this very important topic to shipping.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk 😭

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

This Is Where You Stand With Me

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

Warnings: none

A/N: pls read this for better understanding thanksss!!

Sooo once upon a time, a few months ago actually, I started writing a Charles fanfic - never finished it - I had a reeeally good story in mind, wrote around 20 chapters and then I just got bored of it, BUT! I wrote some really good pieces that I'd be sorry no one ever read so I thought I'd post them. Actually I've already posted one part of the story that comes waay later than the ones I'm gonna post now, but anyway it's the one called Lovers .

Basically, it's a story about a girl (you) who broke up with her boyfriend of five years. She was very unhappy in the relationship because her boyfriend didn't treat her right all those years and then after she gathered her strength and broke up with him, she decided to live a little and go visit her best friend Sophie in Monaco. Sophie has been in a relationship with Carlos for a while, and his teammate Charles is in a relationship with a girl (Ava) who isn't with him for the right reasons and doesn't really care about him. due to a combination of circumstances, you stayed in Monaco to live in Sophie's apartment and started running social networks for Ferrari, filming behind the scenes and similar things. From the very beginning, you and Charles have a love-hate relationship. He keeps sending you mixed signals and you never know where you're standing with him.

Ok, hope you'll like it, let me know if you'd even like to read more parts! Bye!

This is the part where you, Carlos, Sophie, Kika, Pierre, Charles and Lando are on the yacht. Sophie introduces you to all of them here for the first time and you're very nervous about it so you drink a bit too much..

Y/N's POV

Carlos, Sophie and I were the first ones to arrive. Their firends, Pierre and his girlfirend Kika, Charles and his girlfriend Ava, and I guess the only single friend Lando, arrived shortly after us. For me, the biggest introvert on the planet, this was quite a large number of people to meet at once and I did feel very anxious.

Luckily there was a vast amount of drinks on the yacht so I found mine tranquilizers - cranberry vodka and sangria. As soon as the alcohol started coursing through my system, I soon opened up a topic to talk about with everyone. Well, almost everyone. Charles and his girlfriend Ava seemed to have some disagreements so they weren't really in the best mood. She looked like she didn't really wanna be here and he was annoyed that she didn't wanna be here at least that's what I heard when I was going to the toilet because they were alone inside and arguing.

The evening went on with us all sitting in the lounge area, talking and drinking. I was truly having so much fun and I got along the most with Lando. He's so sweet and caring and funny, I was enjoying his company. Eventually Ava left. She was able to leave since we didn't set sail but stayed in the marina. Charles was fuming that she left. When Carlos asked him why she left he said she made arrangements with her friends earlier, he didn't want to talk about it much. Charles went on the upper lounge area and Lando went after him so he wasn't alone and I stayed with Carlos, Sophie, Pierre and Kika in the lounge area on the main deck.

"I love you." I hear Carlos quietly says to Soph while looking at her lips. She was in a half-lying position in his arms. I was scrolling through my phone across from them but I couldn't help but look at them out of the corner of my eye.

"I love you." Sophie smiles and gently kisses him. My eyes got watery at the sight of them. My heart hurt a little and for a second I wished I had what they have. I wasn't envious of them, not at all, I was actually very happy for them and for the first "I love you". But for a second the excitement about the single life passed me and looking at the couples I felt a little lonely.

I get up from the couch and head towards the back of the yacht were was the entrance to the inner part of the yacht. I lean my elbows on the fence and look down at the sea.

Did I make a good decision?

Should i have given us another chance?

Will i regret giving up on us?

Suddenly questions that I constantly avoid facing start to roll around in my head.

No! Of course I made a good decision, he doesn't deserve another chance and I'm not gonna regret anything!

I attribute those thoughts to the excessive amount of alcohol I've consumed since we got here.

Y/n, you were miserable with him, pull yourself together please, you are stronger than these thoughts. I say to myself, but one tear escapes from my eye. And then another one. And one after that.

"Shit.." I breathe out putting my palms over my eyes.

"What happened, Y/n?" A voice asks and it startles me.

"Oh, you scared me." I say looking at Charles standing beside me, but quickly look away wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" Charles asks looking at me.

"Too many drinks led me to a moment of weakness. That's all." I say not really wanting to talk to him about my emotional state.

"And what is the reason behind that moment of weakness?" He asks.

"I don't feel like talking about it, but I was wondering how long have you and Ava been together?" I suddenly blurt out turning to look at him. My mind is racing. I was curious about their fight because the way he looked at her, he seemed like he's really in love, but her, not so much according to my estimate.

"A year and a half now. Why do you ask?"

"Sweet. And why did you fight today?" I ask shamelessly and he rises his eyebrows at my question.

"Not that it's any of your business, but-" Just as he was about to say something a strong pain shoots through my stomach. Rocking of the yacht from the waves together with cranberry vodka and sangria equals nausea.

"Oh no.. I-I think I'm gonna throw up.." And just in that moment as I lean over the fence it starts shooting right out of me.

I was hoping that somehow I would be able to control myself and not throw up in front of him, but it was stronger than me. And honestly if I were sober, I would be ten times more embarrassed than I am now.

"Oh come on." He sighs and to my surprise he moves my hair out of my face holding it back. "Please don't fall over, I'm not jumping in for you."

"Oh my God, I'm gonna die.."

"Out of embarrassment? Yeah, I would too if I were you." Charles mocks me, but still holds my hair.

"Oh give me a break, I'm going through a breakup!" I manage to say bitterly because of his lack of understanding for me. As if he should understand me. he doesn't know anything about me except my name, and I don't know anything about him either except that his name is Charles and that he has a girlfriend with whom he had a not so pretty fight today.

"Did he leave you because you were a drunk?" He continues with his provocation.

"Ha ha, not that it's any of your business, but I broke up with him." I'm being sassy like I didn't just throw up in front of a rich and hot F1 driver, but in that moment that fact doesn't phase me one bit.

"Okay, if you say so." He laughs. "Come here, sit on this couch please." I can't help but notice his hand tightly being wrapped around my waist as he leads me to the couch. "Not that I care, but I'm so bored that I'll listen to why you broke up with your boyfriend."

"Well, now I'm not gonna tell you." I cross my arms acting childish making him laugh again. I roll my eyes and chuckle a little myself.

"Y/n? Where are you?" Right in that moment Sophie shows up breaking the sweet moment between the two of us.

"Your friend is running wild over here, she wanted to throw herself off the yacht because her boyfriend left her." Charles says getting up from the couch and my mouth falls open.

"What?!" Sophie's eyes go wide. "Throw yourself because of him? Are you out of your fucking mind?" She asks in complete shock.

Before saying anything to Sophie to calm her down I follow Charles with my eyes as he leaves laughing.

"He's lying of course, I got sick from the alcohol and threw up."

"Why is he suddenly being all smiley like that? Until a little while ago he was furious because of Ava?"

"I don't know, he obviously has issues." I shrug with my shoulders wanting to laugh but manage to control myself.

I'm usually very good at reading people at first glance. Whoever doesn't make a good impression on me in the beginning, whoever doesn't sit well with me, almost always turns out to not have the best personality. Unfortunately, it rarely happens that someone pleasantly surprises me if I don't like them at first. I could say that my intuition is very good and accurate and I really should listen to it more often.

But with Charles that wasn't the case. I couldn't read him at all. He's kinda mysterious, he seems a bit cocky and conceited, but gentle and caring at moments. At least that's what I think I got from today.

He's interesting though.

Part 2 here

[furinfry]

-Someone on Reddit said that Sakura might have imposter syndrome 🤔 what do you think about this take?

-in your opinion Who has the best writing, parallels and symbolism in wind breaker , the one with the best built character arc so far ?

I don't know if imposter syndrome is the phrase I would use to describe how I interpret Sakura's current emotional predicament but I definitely do agree with the sentiment. I think imposter syndrome would more accurately describe Sakura in his growth during the current season 2 of the anime. I think in the scenes we see post-keel arc through the Roppo Ichiza arc we see Sakura constantly comparing himself to other leadership figures and questioning himself as the class captain for class 1-1.

He goes to Kaji Ren for advice, he compares Kanji Nakamura to how he saw Umemiya when Choji rolled up challenging Furin. At this point in the story he is looking at all three of those people and trying to figure out what he can do to be more of a leader like them. The thing is, he IS still asking himself what he can do to be more like them. He had that fear after screwing up as a leader and getting his class in a situation that was way over their heads and he wasn't strong enough to get them safely out of that situation himself that his classmates wouldn't want him as class captain anymore. And, I think his thoughts at the time were also still dwelling on worrying that if he doesn't know what he wants to do as a leader, what he wants once he gets to the top, then who is to say he's not going to end up like Choji had- dissatisfied and with a twisted attachment to power.

I think the important part of his growth following the post-keel arc is him deciding what is his goal in becoming a leader and in the fights he engages with. Because it's in the Roppo Ichiza arc that he's presented with Kanji's perspective- So long as we succeed in protecting the town and its people, it doesn't matter if we win or lose a fight. Sakura thinks that's a cool ideal until he realizes that that means Kanji is okay if that means he and his allies get beaten into the ground. And Sakura gets his dead wife flashback and decides that he actually doesn't agree with this stance as a leader. However, point still stands that he needs to find what he DOES want his stance to be as a leader. And he decides that he wants to do everything in his power to keep his allies safe as well in a fight. And FASCINATINGLY enough - though it's not presented to Sakura at all in this arc- We DO get Suo imparting upon Nirei that it is more important not to be defeated than it is to win a fight. Which is EXACTLY what the next arc is about in the Noroshi War- Furin just has to make sure they aren't defeated. That they put themselves in front of their adversaries who are threatening the town and that they don't go down. But, I've already yapped about how amazing the change in Sakura is in the Noroshi War Arc is and how Sakura really is coming into his own as a strategic leader/fighter of a whole group of people.

We are, however, being shown what is weighing on Sakura's mind currently in the manga. And that is seeing Umemiya in his fight against Takiishi. I think it in truth is witnessing Umemiya on the rooftop in combination with now knowing the full story of everything Umemiya has done to rebuild Furin into Bofurin, the protectors of Makochi.

(This chapter being called "The Place I Want to Protect" being both Sakura and Umemiya's shared desire)

And I think Sakura is genuinely starting to get confidence in being captain of class 1-1. As a part of the ensemble of captains who all support Umemiya and help contribute towards protecting everyone else. He still has the lingering fear that he's going to get people hurt, he still wonders what actions for him to take would be the best to ensure everyone's safety (which is what Endo tries to manipulate during their fight) but he starting to accept seeing himself as "Sakura, captain of class 1-1". However, this is the comparison of how Sakura saw Umemiya towards the beginning of the series

vs how Sakura saw Umemiya during the rooftop fight against Takiishi and the image of Umemiya that keeps popping up in his head when people say he'll become the next top of Furin:

THIS is the person who put EVERYTHING into making Furin what it is in the present day of the manga. Furin is Umemiya's dream, his passion, the fire he has lit and is maintaining/protecting. Being the top of Furin to Sakura now means it would be up to SAKURA to make sure Furin continues being what Umemiya has committed his whole life into creating. To make sure his dream is maintained in his absence. But I don't think Sakura can wrap his head around Umemiya NOT being the top of Furin. Like, not an equal comparison at all, but imagine someone taking over Cafe Pothos from Kotoha. Would it really still be Cafe Pothos without her? The Omurice wouldn't taste the same and you wouldn't be able to have the same conversations as you do with Kotoha.

So I think to Sakura the implication that he could take over Furin from Umemiya whenever people make a comment about how they believe he'll become the top of Furin is ABSURD. Perhaps not as much imposter syndrome as it feels to him like someone repeating back to you some wild dream you spouted as a kid like wanting to be a superhero when you grow up. My take is that Sakura sees this dream he had about becoming the top of Furin as some nonsense he was spouting before he knew anything about what Bofurin and the weight and value of everything Umemiya has done to rebuild Furin High School/ to protect Makochi. People are repeating back to Sakura his words when all he wanted was to become the top fighter to prove that he himself had value. To prove that he had worth because he could just fight/defend himself against anyone dared to antagonize him. Those are the words of a lonely boy who could only rely on himself. Those are the words of someone who knows what it means to be a part of Bofurin and to fight to defend others and not just yourself. Everyone else sees Sakura's heart and how even when he arrived he was a kind person who secretly desired connection and being accepted for who he is, but seeing value in himself that is related to fighting has ALWAYS been one of the hardest things for Sakura himself to do. It's HARD for him to think of himself as someone that can rely on everyone and that everyone can rely on him. He doesn't have that sort of confidence in himself. So, I think that lack of confidence is SIMILAR to Imposter Syndrome, but I think that more accurately describes early series Sakura. He's not top of Furin yet, he's not trying to be top of Furin anymore, but people are saying that they're going to continue to support him TOWARDS being the future top of Furin. It would definitely be imposter syndrome if they were asking Sakura to become the Top of Furin in that moment, putting him in that position now, but right now it's more like someone telling you this IMPOSSIBLE hope/vision that they have, thinking that this childish dream is still what you are trying to achieve. Especially since that would mean Umemiya no longer being there and having to fill in his shoes. It's just... not something Sakura can wrap his head around at all.

jsklfg This is already getting very long so I'll try to be a bit more concise towards your second question. The easy answer for who do I think has the best writing and parallels is hands down Sakura because every single arc we're introduced to characters that are parallels or foils to some aspect of Sakura that he continues to learn and grow from. Yes, he is the world's biggest tsundere and predictable when it comes to reacting to any sort of affection or compliment. but there still is a lot of complexity to how he interacts with others and his journey in personal growth (growing more confident in himself and deciding what kind of person he would be proud to be). Even arcs that aren't about him per say/ where he doesn't take the spotlight are still important because it imparts something to Sakura that he needs to learn or realize about himself and his values. Now if we're getting into PERSONAL favorites however, that would be Togame Jo~

Causticsodaa/NaOh does a great job in this post going into pretty much every detail about how Togame and Choji are foils narratively, design wise, personality wise, etc etc. He is the tortoise in the tortoise and the hare aesop fable. He wears orange/yellow/sun-colored glasses while he is convincing himself that continuing being the person to do the dirty work for Choji will keep Shishitoren's sun from dimming (even though Choji's light was far gone). Him tying his hair back was him tying himself to the way things were in Shishitoren; tying himself to Choji's 'vision' for Shishitoren. But after the fight against Furin he cuts his hair and tells Sakura himself that it's because he was no longer letting anything tie who he is down.

I was really liking Wind Breaker when I first started watching the show, but it was seeing Jo and Choji's flashbacks and the scene of Jo crouching over Choji's body as he came back to consciousness that I was like "Oh no, This show is rewiring my brain chemistry. It's all I'm going to be able to think about, isn't it?" It was the writing of their story that made me realize I was OBSESSED with this show.

[visualtaehyun]

P'Den held a space on twt last week wherein he answered questions about the four shows he's currently involved in - Zomvivor, The Next Prince, Khemjira and Love Upon A Time - and shared stories from on set of the different shows, about the actors, about his work in general as well as his methods etc. Since I've kinda become a Domundi girlie and follow P'Den on twt, I thought I'd share what he talked about on here ✌

Disclaimer: not a native Thai speaker, still learning 🙏

He spoke Thai most of the time so I'm mostly translating here but some questions were answered in English and then summarized in Thai so those parts I tried to consolidate to a degree. This entire post is not a 1:1 transcription or translation but I tried to stick as close to his word choices as possible, while still writing from a third person perspective. Oh, and I also sorted everything into four parts according to which show he's talking about instead of following the space chronologically.

Cheers, have fun, and do feel free to ask me any follow-up questions!

(Full post under the cut for length.)

To keep things concise (oh the irony after that previous sentence 🤡), the four shows will be abbreviated as ZVV, TNP, KJR and LUAT from here on out.

🧟‍♂️ "Spoiler about SanNon please, Kru🤣" (San and Non are Zee and Nunew's characters)

He likes seeing people's guesses from the teaser and that there's been a bunch of people who got close to what actually happens in the script. Are we gonna see them fight? ZVV is about raw human instinct coming to light when faced with disaster. The disaster or monster is a representation of a crisis or of problems within society. ZVV is set at a university so, once there's a zombie outbreak, how do the students deal with the problem?

🧟‍♂️ "On the set of ZVV, were there actual ghosts?"

ZVV was filmed mostly on a university campus, though there are some scenes outside of that setting. [In comparison to the set of KJR] they didn't really have any ghost encounters on set. But people were still afraid sometimes because they often filmed at night. For example, they shot in a library that was closed for renovation so there hadn't been any people in there forever. Or sometimes they shot on campus at night and had to turn off all the lights to set up the lighting. The only ghost encounters where when he'd run into some the extras in the restrooms, especially when he'd be lost in thought, after the extras were already in full zombie makeup. In that case, he'd be screaming sometimes.

🧟‍♂️ Talking about workshops

Lots of animal exercises where everyone would get assigned a different animal, observe that animal's behavior, and then play as that animal. Some human behaviors are already associated with animals, like 'mischievous like a monkey' or 'furious like a tiger'. Taking those animalistic sides into ZVV made the actors open up to their own instincts.

🧟‍♂️ "Were there any challenges in filming ZVV? Like anything you'd say was hard to film?"

There was one scene, one sequence really with many small scenes, that took 3 Qs to film! It was a big scene with effects, action, filming with special equipment, rain that had to bet set up. Plus the amount of actors being almost the entire label, maybe 60-70 people in the scene in total. And Aof and Kla wanted it to be perfect as it's one of the major scenes in the show. It was tiring for the actors, too, of course. But they did it and can be really proud of the final product.

🧟‍♂️ "Development of ZeeNew's acting from ZVV to TNP"

He says they were already good to begin with, ZVV just required a bit of adjustment for them since P'Den is one for realism. Not just them but all the actors had to train 'physical' with Om and Fuang - using one's body, combat scenes, letting one's body respond to emotions, movement. His part was more focused on the script and the character's inner works. ZVV was also intentionally filmed like a movie, making the acting choices really authentic in those situations. Many times, he wouldn't give the actors any choices beforehand, unlike during filming a series usually goes, where he'd go over the blocking, choreography, cues etc. Instead they explained the situation the characters were in, told the actors where the camera(s) was/were, and how far they could go in terms of blocking - but the rest was left up to the actors to go free and explore their own choices. So for Zee and New, at the very beginning, they were used to being given choices or having choices thought-out ahead of time. But once they met with P'Den, he tried to have them be in the present moment as much as possible and make choices according to what their characters feel at the time. He could tell they weren't used to it, but used to getting more input, so he met them halfway at first, giving them some help but still encouraging them to find and explore by themselves. Once they started TNP, they were much more used to his method and developed to be actors that are more free. They'd still ask for his feedback on their own choices sometimes, even though P'Den says they already thought like their characters and understood them well.

🧟‍♂️ Air date

Coming in the 4th quarter of 2025, as announced. He implied again that it will be aired on Netflix. It's still in editing, considering the CG, but almost done. We'll see the Domundi boys in roles that they don't usually get to play or are a departure from previous ones, like getting to do action and dramatic scenes for some that routinely play comedic roles or trying out comedic scenes for those that come from drama. There are many flavors in this series.

👑 "Does TNP still have any surprises, wow moments, stuff to leave us stunned, something that fans would never see coming? Like something we'd never expect to see lol"

So many! TNP is just The Most in his life so far. Everyone's using every skill they have and still learning new things for the show. There are scenes from the novel and new scenes, there are many grand scenes and special situations. The actors had to learn horse riding, fencing, ballroom dancing. There are many surprises that weren't in the pilot and characters that haven't been introduced yet.

👑 "First impression after working with P'Zee and Nong Nunew ☺️ Thank you, Kru Den, for being so passionate about TNP!"

He first met ZNN for ZVV and is happy to have met them. From an outsider's perspective they look utterly perfect, he had no clue what their real selves would be like. Zee seemed mature and prudent and Nunew's the miracle child who can do anything. Once he got to know them though, both of them still seem really young. They have so much enthusiasm for work, ask a lot of questions, want their work to turn out well, are down to earth and easy to talk to. They're really lovely Nongs to him but really all of Domundi's actors that he's worked with are lovely. He's never felt troubled when working with any of them because they all take their responsibilities seriously. ZeeNew work so much, he sees that they're working every day, yet they always do their homework. He never has to tell them which scenes precede and follow the scene they're currently filming, never has to tell them what their character is doing or feeling. He only has to help remind them of certain points or suggesting choices and then lets them play, sometimes letting them suggest choices themselves for him to decide which one would be most fitting, especially for difficult scenes. For New, that would be scenes where he has to cry right from the start of a scene. Playing music or talking about his character's feelings gets him there. Similarly for Zee, talking about what his character's been through gets him there. He's really happy to be working with this label's kids.

👑 Talking about workshops

The emphasis was on interpreting the script and finding the private moments of the characters and what they're like in those moments, what they think, want, are lacking. When they're with other people, what mask do they need to wear, who do they need to appear to be? TNP is about personas we need to portray in the world. It's Khanin's journey of suddenly finding himself to be a prince who needs to compete in the tradition of fencing, so he has to conduct himself differently depending on the individual. What is he like with his friends, with Charan, when faced with the public? Same goes for the other characters. They also improvised situations that aren't in the script, like filling in the parentheses to understand the course of events.

👑 "If you had to choose three words to describe the first episode of TNP Series, which ones would you use?👀"

Emotional. Roller. Coaster.

The first episode is always the establishing one, the one that explains what a given series is gonna feel like. So of course the different flavors we'll see in the entire 14 episodes of TNP, are all gonna be there in the first EP. No need to be afraid that the first EP's gonna be plastered in exposition. We're getting all the flavors right off the bat. Whatever we assume must be in TNP, we'll get in appetizer format in EP 1. All crew members that got to watch it, and P'Aof too, said that EP 1 has the vibe of a foreign production, kinda like Heartstopper, kinda like Red, White & Royal Blue, kinda like Bridgerton. There are gonna be lots of emotions, twists and turns, a bit of romance, a bit of comedy, a bit of drama, action, royalty. It's an introductory episode with its own depth and style.

👑 More than one person asked about Itthi, a beloved character in the novels

P'Den asked P'Aof for permission earlier to address this. About Itt - TNP has a script advisor, Kru Aumm, who's a talented screenwriter known for Analog Squad, for example, and has worked as a script advisor for Netflix Thailand and GDH. P'Den has worked with her before. Though P'Den is the acting coach for TNP and thus has nothing to do with the script but he knows that Kru Aumm advised about Itt and Wetid. In order not to have the cast size get too big and because these characters have really similar functions (in the story), she advised to merge them into one person, who would serve both Wetid and Itt's purposes. This was also done to tighten up the script. Of course they didn't want to cut too much from the plot that would make the main plot go down. So both characters have been combined into one character, Wetid, that is played by Most Witsarut. His acting skills are great, he's a Directing and Acting graduate as well and P'Den already knew and has worked with him before. As Wetid he'll be fierce and Charan's helper in lots of instances related to the main plot. P'Den saw questions about Itt come up again and again, some people thinking we'd just have to wait to see him in the series, so he asked P'Aof if he may announce that there's no Itthi in the series but that he's been merged into one character with Wetid.

👑 Someone asked about the photo of ZNN napping and cuddling on set of TNP that P'Den shared on twt

It's obvious that, once they need to change scenes, different people would disperse all over the place to get dressed, get their hair and make-up done, and read their own scripts. But these two get together - helping each other memorizing lines, rehearsing by themselves so it'll be faster and easier once they're on set, playing with each other like we've seen in photos. If there's time to rest, they'll play around together, teasing each other back and forth. If they're tired, they'll hug or sit on each other's lap. Sometimes, if they're too lazy to walk onto the set, they'll carry each other onto set. You'd think P'Den would be used to it by now but he still isn't. There's always something new to observe. Most of the time, it's probably New trying to annoy Zee, Zee teasing him back, New acting sulky and then Zee making it up to him. And then they're cuddling (while lying down). It would go something like that. They play with, comfort, and take care of each other all the time. If New gets tired, Zee would get to him even before a crew member. Sometimes New gets water or tissues, for example, even before the crew could (for Zee). Sometimes they fight, just like any other people who are close to each other - same as P'Den and his boyfriend [legally wedded, actually 🙂‍↕️] sometimes tease each other or fight with each other for some spice in their relationship [his words, not mine 🤣 sounds familiar to zonzons, too, no?], and then hug it out, comfort each other, and call it a day.

(ZeeNuNew) are very professional. At first, he felt a lot of pressure to be working with them because they're already very successful and famous and he was afraid that he wouldn't get up to par with them. P'Den isn't the type of person who feels like he needs to prove himself, he just always does his job the best he can. So he studied the script and scenes extensively, prepared his own timeline for all the scenes and situations, in terms of how the relationships change and the characters grow and develop, so he'd have his own documents to refer back to when he's coaching them or when they have any questions.

The crew is amazing, too, everybody remembers the timeline of the story and helps with the continuity of acting, emotions, hair & make-up etc. Since everybody does their jobs to the best of their abilities and with lots of passion, he hopes that'll prove itself. Nothing is perfect, of course, like there still might be oversights or mistakes but everyone's trying really hard because they know we've been waiting for this for three years. P'Den understands (the frustration) because he himself is also a fan who's had to wait years for things he's a fan of. But they're all really trying to get it right for us.

👑 About the script + final words

There were lots of script adjustments from the novels, both to tighten up the plot and make it more intense as well as to add stuff to make it more fun. There are more scenes to show Khun Charan's and Khanin's skills, in terms of sports disciplines, action scenes, drama. But there's still lots of cute scenes like in the novels. Kru Aumm's team, from Netflix, was coordinating with the script writer all the time to make several instances more condensed while retaining Khanin and Charan's character growth without leaving anyone behind. We are definitely getting the issue of the royal houses vying (for the throne), family issues, issues related to trauma, some political issues that are gonna make it more modern to current day audiences that P'Den thinks we'll enjoy debating and analyzing for sure, various symbols [unsure if he means literal emblems and such or symbolism], beautiful luxurious costumes and locations with hidden meanings that we'll also likely enjoy analyzing.

👻 "Kru Den, which scene in KJR do you think has been the most difficult? Have you encountered a lot of obstacles while filming? I saw that during the latest Q it was raining too ㅜㅜ"

Filming's been going pretty smoothly since it's dry season, the weather's pretty cool, and there's barely any rain. If it is hot, there's always fans, AC units, cooling wipes on set. On Domundi sets there's never a need to worry about the well-being of the crew and actors. Three meals a day, another two that are snacks, and tasty beverages! [lmao] It's just been recently that nature's interfering, like the rain during the previous Q. Which scene does he think was the most difficult? There's been one day where he said it was the biggest and most tiring day since the start of filming, in terms of filming technique, the number of people in the scene, the difficulty and intensity of the scene. People can probably guess what scene it is since there aren't that many scenes in the novel with that large a number of people and that're this brutal.

👻 "For KJR, could you spoil if there's gonna be more exciting things from now on, be it about the cast, scenes or anything else? After announcing the casting of Granny Si, there haven't been any more surprises to get excited about. Could you maybe spoil a little bit more? 😣"

There's so much still! There are still many characters from the novel that haven't been announced so there's still many actors to get wowed by once the series is on air.

👻 Talking about workshops

A lot of improvisation exercises to find the relationships, backgrounds, connection to the past etc. until they could speak and think like their characters.

👻 "KengNamping, TleFirstOne, how is their acting to you, Kru Den?"

It's good he met them ever since the pilot so he got to know everyone's strong points and what they'd still needed to work on.

Keng, for example, comes from movies so he struggled a bit at first with the way series are filmed, since you have a lot of cuts and angles and need to keep playing them the same way to keep the continuity. Whereas in a movie you'd be more free in your acting. He got used to it after the pilot and the workshops. Keng's role doesn't allow him to express a lot. Paran isn't the type of person to show what he's feeling outwardly or immediately. He has a maturity and circumspection to him, a feeling of keeping everything, all his feelings, tucked away in a drawer. For him to outwardly show something, it has to be notable. So Keng's challenge is that he can't feel and express things in one layer, he has to keep it to himself and select how much he'll show. For example, other characters might shout at each other but Por Kru wouldn't do that. He uses his gaze, his deep piercing voice, but wouldn't yell loudly. But Keng does it really well, a little goes a long way. And Keng has a great sense of give-and-receive with his scene partner. Sometimes just seeing him sit with a scene partner, like Mae Nok Noi (the actress who plays Granny Si), just the two of them, there's no need to even be speaking and it's already just right.

Namping is like P'Den, personality-wise. It's like he has two modes: Playful all the time but once he walks onto the set, he's calm, concentrating, ready for rehearsal and blocking, remembers his lines right from the get go. He doesn't hold his script when he enters the set - none of the actors P'Den is working with do, actually. Everyone memorizes their lines at home and did their homework on the ride to work or in the dressing room so once they're on the set, everyone's quiet and ready for blocking, rehearsal, and filming. Namping is that way - in the dressing room he's still playing around but as soon as they're preparing to film, it's on! Cut, moving the camera - and he's back to his cheerful self. P'Den has never seen Namping be exhausted in the almost 20 Qs so far, he's always full of energy which gives the people around him more energy, too.

Tle is detail-oriented, always the first one to get on set, very diligent, open towards different choices. The role of Charnvit isn't easy. It has a nerdiness that's approachable, instead of completely absorbed in one field of interest. He's critical and believes in cause and effect and it's this rationality of his that helps the group. Tle executes that well. Tle also doesn't really play around once he's on set - worlds apart from First!

First is mischievous but once he has to focus, he is really determined. He'll suddenly turn into a school boy, gaze fixed on P'Den and always asking so many questions. People like to ask if Tle and First aren't just playing themselves but Jettana (FirstOne's role) actually has so many dimensions. First can do them all, be it serious parts, dramatic, loving his friends, fun, funny, action, mischievous etc. and not all of them are First's real self 100%.

👻 "Which of the locations for KJR do you think is the scariest, Kru Den?"

Yesterday's! (Q19)

👻 "P'Den, about KJR, would it be any differences about Khemjira's character between series and its book? Because Khem is too easy to cry in its book kaa."

Yes, there will be some differences. When it's understandable that Khem is emotional, sensitive, and feels like crying then he will be crying in the series. But they're not going for a weak Khem. It's good and touching in the novel because you get to feel with the character. When reading you connect via the words and your own imagination. But once it becomes visual on-screen, he thinks people don't like to see the main character cry that much without doing anything for themselves or others. So in the series Khem's gonna be a little tougher. He'll still be sensitive, emotional, naïve, reserved but he will try to survive, just like the title. He'll try to persevere and do things for himself and his friends more.

There are gonna be some side-stories to showcase Paran's ability in dealing with ghosts and supernatural beings in the village, his relationship with the people in the village, and beliefs around shamans. And also side-stories to showcase Khem's strong mind and will and his ability to survive - if he managed to survive 20 years of his life, without his mother, seeing ghosts all the time, enduring all that, then he must be a strong person, not a crybaby. What he will be crying about would be personal and because of his feelings for the other characters. Of course Khem won't turn into the Daughter of the Village Chief [a wild child tomboy female character] but he will be a bit stronger than in the novel.

👻 Final words

They're still going strong with filming. As he said before, there have been some additions and changes to the script so it's still intense but can be shot more realistically. There's interference with beliefs, the principle of karma and the wheel of dharma, saving each other, saving oneself, taking a life to survive in any way, surviving like you're the only one to survive or surviving like we help each other to go on. The message is gonna be concentrated on cases of wiping out ghosts and meeting villagers who can make us come to terms with something. Which is in line with P'Aof wanting to make series not just for entertainment purposes but also to discuss and bring up various issues.

Since the show is 12 episodes long, some parts of the special chapters are going to be mixed into the series as well as side-stories and events from past lives. We're going to see a lot of culture, history, and a thrilling romantic story.

⏳ "P'Kim shared that the scarf scene was improvised, now I wonder how often the boys improvised the scenes?Another one is the part where PhopKhun being intimate, was the awkwardness a deliberation or was it coz JJ was too shy?"

He isn't very keen on improvisation since every scene has to connect to the scene before and after, they can't allow all improvisations to make the cut since the emotions and relationships have to be consistent and some scenes require an agreed-upon sequence, like combat scenes. If there are improvised moments that were kept in the pilot it's because they discussed whether the actors' instincts during filming fit the scene, in which case he let it pass, or not, in which case they'd discuss if it could be adjusted in a fitting way. They mostly just follow the script as is standard practice, these kinds of instinctive choices can make the scene stand out and fit each actors' interpretations of their character. So it's about 90% following the script direction but actors are also free to add their own interpretations and encouraged to be in the moment.

The awkwardness between Phop and Nakhun was indeed deliberate. Some of the choices are of course JJ's, like the facial expressions, but it was scripted to be this way, it's not because JJ was actually too shy or anything. There are gonna be parts where Nakhun becomes more daring but since the pilot takes place at the very beginning of the story, Nakhun gets shy a lot with Phop.

⏳ "Tell us about LUAT please"

Regarding workshop, it's a lot about language. It's like acting in a Shakespeare piece because we're trying to speak an obsolete language. So the kids had to translate their scripts into modern day language and then they'd act out the scenes with modern language first, in order for them to understand the characters' feelings and wants within a given scene. All four understood their characters and scripts, everyone just had their own things to work on, e.g. Nong Tte speaks too fast sometimes, Net doesn't always enunciate clearly. Some things are habitual and just part of their speech patterns, so they'd be difficult to change within the 2 months they had between workshops and filming the pilot. Learning to speak a 2nd or 3rd language accurately and precisely takes time. The LUAT actors are gonna be working with a speech therapist/vocal coach soon.

⏳ "For LUAT, was there any scene that was hard for the crew or the actors?"

Since this was a pilot, they had 2 Qs of time to film it. And during Q1 they had to move (between?) 2 locations so they were tight on time for actual filming. The kids got very little chance to play several takes since they had to keep going. So for the pilot they rehearsed extensively beforehand, ever since the workshop, every single scene. What we see in the pilot, most if not all of it was shot in under three takes. Among those three takes, none of them were bad either, but they were different choices, in the sense of being less or more, or different options for editing later.

What was hard for the crew was the scene of them sitting and drinking together, half-way into the NC scene, on the terrace. It took almost an hour to set up the lighting because they hardly used any electrical lighting, it was mostly practical lighting, lighting up candles and lamps. Meaning the candles had to continue, they had to change them out after every cut, and the oil lamps had to continue, the fire had to be consistent. And the actions and feelings between the characters were difficult as well. It was almost half past midnight at the time so everyone was tired. He remembers this scene requiring a lot of time and effort.

Another difficult one was the lantern-floating scene. A Krathong will just follow the flow of water but they needed it to be in front of the camera to get a nice shot of the pretty candle light on the lotus pond. So an art team crew member on a rowboat had to keep rounding up the Krathongs in front of the camera. It had such a cute vibe, actually, seeing them row back and forth to collect the Krathongs. It was late at night then, too, the other Q's night. Since this was an outdoor scene in a waterfront pavilion without lights or electricity, the light had to be completely set up, which also took a lot of time for the crew. As for the actors, it was an intimate moment wherein the characters finally know their feelings but Klao still feels like there might come a day he won't be here anymore - both in the sense that someone might mean Klao harm and come to hurt him as well as in the sense that he might just warp back to the present at any moment. There's a bittersweetness to it that dampens the romance but doesn't make it sad either so the actors had to find the balance.

⏳ P'Den couldn't find the question anymore but it was: "For LUAT, I'd like to know about Tte's development and him working together with P'Kim - how is it?"

(La)Tte surprised P'Den with how little he speaks, like, he's really silent. He seems like a hard-to-approach manly man, at least from P'Den's perspective as a queer. But he's actually really lovely and diligent and P'Den only just found out that he went to law school. He also takes down every single word P'Den says! Whether it's serious or joking or whatever, he takes notes on everything, as if he's sitting in a lecture hall. Those lines that are an almost-rap at the beginning (of the pilot), where he says so much, were the first lines during workshop. He's really hard-working - during break on-set, P'Den would turn around and see Tte with his script jotting stuff down endlessly. He feels the pressure on him since the last pilot, he's read the comments and knows what he needs to work on so he's really trying to improve at all times. P'Den sees his determination.

As for Tte's chemistry with Kim - they like teasing each other. Tte likes teasing Kim and sometimes Kim will tease him back. For example, when they were shooting the present-day scenes. P'Den saw Tte teasing Kim a lot so that Kim would actually feel annoyed like Nong Pun. Which would come back around once they shot the past scenes. It's one kind of relationship that's really fun, where the Nong messes with/teases the Phi and the Phi gets all huffy.

Kim also surprised him. P'Den knew already what he was capable of but he delivered since the very first take. There's no nervousness because of the camera at all. It's like he's fully prepared. He's a new actor who's done his homework well so there's almost no need to coach him, it's just about helping him in making acting choices. Kim was really sensitive, emotional, about the pouring water part to the point it became another key scene that everyone was talking about. That came from Kim, the credit is almost entirely his for that. He found that (in him) himself.

⏳ "For LUAT, is that one important event still gonna happen?🥹🥹 and are Mae Wanna and Khun Pim part of the script?"

They're currently having script meetings for LUAT. They got a script writer who's previously written period pieces, like Royal Doctor, Thong Ek: The Herbal Master and Ruk Laek Pop. The fact that LUAT is a period piece is pretty straightforward but there might need to be adjustments in the way the story is told because, reading the novel, there is a lot of Nakhun just going about his daily life at times and lots of descriptions of characters' feelings. So they need to add the situations and actions of the characters in order for the audience to get the picture. And they can't just have the characters describe every circumstance in a voiceover or directly tell the audience. They might need to be expanded into situations (small scenes).

But that one really important event is definitely going to be there, otherwise it would become a different story, it wouldn't be LUAT anymore. Therefore, whatever is key to the story - finding his identity, trying to find out where the previous Klao disappeared to and what's going on, disguising himself to get into the opium house and the brothel, adjusting to life in the Ayutthaya period, slowly falling in love with P'Phop, gradually revealing how they could've been close before - all of that has to be there.

As for if Mae Wanna and Khun Pim are going to be in the script, they are catalysts in the relationship of P'Phop and Nakhun. They have their function, they make us see that P'Phop really doesn't care for anyone else aside from Nakhun, no matter if in the past or in this life. And that also makes Nakhun more confident in this man. So P'Den thinks the series script has to have them but he can't say how minor or big their parts are going to be since they're still in talks about the script.

⏳ Final words

More script meetings coming up! P'Den directed the pilot and is also going to be directing the full series. Next up, he'll be sending the kids to clinical speech training with a vocal coach who's a colleague of his at Chulalongkorn University from the faculty of Arts and who got his degree in the US. They'll be learning how to enunciate and pronounce ancient Thai speech more clearly and comfortably. As for the script, they'll try to keep the important or key parts as they are but the way of telling the story might be different, to make it a more modern interpretation, at a time where there are countless period pieces, to make this BL period piece stand out. It won't be just a comedy, that's for sure, it will still have its drama, suspense and thrill. P'Den says he likes series with many different flavors so he'll try to make it as well-rounded as possible.

---

Unrelated to any show but very interesting nonetheless:

"what brought you/inspired you into the world of acting, writing, and directing? how is teaching it like?"

A few more notes: 1) There was a question about what Ar Ning (the actor who plays the King in TNP) is like - I axed it cause I figured most folks on here have no clue who he is anyway 🥴 2) I've read the novels to KJR and TNP but not to LUAT, so I had no way of verifying my choice of name romanizations and my translations for some of the plot details in the question about Mae Wanna, Khun Pim, and the script. Apologies if I've made any mistakes 🙏 3) There were also some shorter questions about learning Thai, several instances of him speaking Spanish (which I can vaguely follow from having learned other Romance languages before but would never actually be able to translate), and some pointless questions I didn't include like "Is NuNew gonna sing an OST for TNP?" which- Duh.

[quarterlifekitty]

all I’m sayin is that it’s like you said: text isn’t indicative of tone. thus it’s actually a choice to decide someone is being demanding instead of eager & passionate without digging further. I personally choose to assume the best as often as humanly possible, bc it’s just as easy to respond with “that’s all I got for this one, glad you liked it” instead of calling someone out for a tone that likely wasn’t even what they meant  🤷‍♀️ but you do what you need to do, man.

ironically parsing actual real meaningful feedback on creative works (which no one in fandom actually wants fwiw, made that mistake once & never again) is literally more than half of my job, and tbh even in real life the biggest compliments (and the North Star we’re usually chasing) actually come from strangers whose reactions usually read along the lines of “MORE OF THAT, HOLY SHIT” or “I NEED 12 OF THEM” or “OH MY GOD AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN” or even just an emphatic “FUCK”. the real difference IRL is hearing the gasp, seeing the enthusiasm, the grin, and watching as someone absolutely sparkles upon seeing/reading/playtesting/experiencing your work for the very first time. & personally I haven’t met anyone yet who hasn’t outright laughed at some of the more out of pocket reactions, everyone’s always taken it as it was meant: a very raw & enthusiastic compliment. same kind of shit that makes us all gasp and kick our feet and blurt nonsense in the dark to an empty room at 3AM when a fic hits just right.

anyway my only real point is that the knee jerk reaction of putting up boundaries (or ffs doin shit like posting a screenshot dragging folks on reddit or twitter & then wondering why “no one comments anymore” 💀🪦) against what was PROBABLY just keyboard-mashing excitement gets just as disheartening it feels to have someone leave a genuinely rude comment (or no comments at all), so maybe consider that there might be another perspective. 

I wish you the best, good luck with your work in the future

Man. I am aware that these comments are meant to be enthusiastic and positive. But they do not make me feel good. But it’s nice of you to let me know that I get to choose how I feel! And how I interpret text from a stranger! That’s very helpful.

I think it’s also INSANE that you construe me having boundaries concerning how strangers interact with me on my personal writing as being a negative reaction. I cannot hear your voice. I cannot see your face. Sorry that I don’t have such an immersive imagination. Reading something and hearing it being said has a delta between it that my minuscule brain is apparently unable to ford. It’s incredible that me saying “I don’t like it when people say that because it doesn’t make me feel good, so please don’t say things like that to me” makes you react in this way. I’m my own person. I’m not you. No one is you. You cannot control how other people react to what you say.

I’m not talking about your job or the general public or “how fandom doesn’t want real feedback”. I’m saying that there’s a type of response that kills my motivation. I am not an idiot. I am aware that it is not meant to be demanding. But it’s crazy that your response to me saying “I don’t like it when you talk to me that way” is “well you should be interpreting what I say positively instead!”. That’s not how human relationships work. I feel an enormous amount of pity for anyone who has ever tried to tell you that you hurt their feelings when you didn’t intend to.

I am beyond this blog. I have spent many many years trying to make readers happy by sharing what I make and I would have quit a long long time ago if I didn’t occasionally get nice and meaningful interactions with others. But the people who just type that they want more or they want 60k words or they want part two? I never hear from those people beyond that. Those are one time interactions. I don’t see those people as repeat presences in my notes. Which tends to illustrate that myself and my body of work are more or less irrelevant to them. And that’s fine. But don’t expect me to see you as a potential friend if that’s the case. Idk.

Also I don’t recall posting any screenshots from Reddit or Twitter dragging anyone. I get the feeling this is no longer about me, but about some greater beef.

[intuitive-revelations]

Live analysis of Wish World!

Sorry for the wait! I'm with family so haven't been able to watch the episode until now. I almost skipped the live reaction aspect of this for this episode, but have managed to work out a system with my laptop + ipad that works so I can write and watch at the same time. I also can't add any screencaps, as I can't PrtScr on this keyboard. Given all this, I'll think I'll hold back on most of my overall thoughts and theories for now, and save that for later this week.

Spoilers below. Again, I think I've been partially spoiled on this episode, but we'll see how this goes:

OK. Straight away it's 1865, so our third member of the unholy trinity is somewhere here?

And a baby, straight away, hm.

Luck? Is the Rani experimenting with the universe's new superstition?

"Sturm-und-drang" Thought that was going to be Gallifreyan for a sec, before I relistened and turned on the subtitles. "Storm and stress"?

Yep, doing something with superstition.

"It's older than that, darling." DARK TIMES MENTION?

"Your child is the fountainhead of a power from beyond this universe." May be spoiled on this being something else, but... Timeless Child link? Or Pantheon?

Hm, the word play with VIolets was a lot better, since it felt intrinsic. The Rani using similes and metaphors feels a lot more arbitrary.

Actually, I think I might discuss that spoiler now. If this goes back to Omega, is the "wish" thing linked to his ability to shape the anti-matter universe, now being applied to N-space too?

This domestic setup feels so expanded universe-y, like the The Natural History of Fear or something, with our main cast projected into a very different kind of story.

Poppy! So we're "casting" her as the Doctor and Belinda's child here?

Yep, and Conrad is the voice of this reality reshaping.

"Doctor Who and the Deadly Wish" Very 1st Edition Philosopher's Stone cover there. Kinda surprised we didn't go in on a Target cover instead. Is there some anti-JKR commentary to be had here, with crypto-fascist Conrad reading it?

WAIT WAIT THAT SAYS I.M. FOREMAN?! (On one hand, yay how can I link this to the EDA character. On the other hand, how dare you put them in the place JKR's name would be.)

"Uncle Connie" Hmm... given Poppy's the Doctor's child here, how can I link this to Brax?

"Once upon a time, the TIme Lords were really clever people from the planet Gallifrey. But one of the Time Lords ran away."

Amma?

What was that big tease RTD gave? "Tables don't act that way"?

Ruby :)

"My name is John Smith" The return!

Doubt. Interesting. So a post-truth-y sort of thing? This feels like it could get pretty poitically disjointed, given Conrad is a conspiracy theorist, but let's see how this goes.

Mel :D

And great skeletal beasts. I know I'm not alone in thinking of Faction Paradox here.

"The people who lived on the Earth were called humans. Doctor Who had lots and lots of human friends." The past tense is fun. Makes me wonder if it will be literal in some way. Also very TARDIS wiki.

"They loved him, they'd travel with him, but sometimes they'd leave him so they could go and fall in love and marry and have babies. And then the Doctor was all alone." Hm, what interesting contrast, after that moment with Mel. What are we getting at here, especially with something so reductive? Is this something to do with the Doctor wishing he could have that life?

"But he travelled on with bravery in his heart, looking for his next best friend." And now we see Shirley. (Also, heart singular? Almost could be interpretted as a "First Doctor had one heart" confirmation.)

Susan Twist!

Hmm, this retro environment feel quite HP-like actually. Like the Ministry of Magic. Hm...

"But then a sad day came along. All the Time Lords were killed, and Doctor Who was the only one left." This is what I've been waiting for, with the Rani back.

Ich, so sexism is alive and well here. Very cool Conrad.

"You're a beautiful man." "What's that supposed to mean?!" Oh God. Yep we're going there, and it's not just flavour.

"Unified National Insurance Team" lol

"And Doctor Who .wished it was like the old days, when he had a faithful companion at his side, but sadly those days were gone." The old days huh? Also, are we really going there, with the Doctor's subconscious wish warping reality and causing Belinda to be stuck with him, like theorised?

Belinda's family!

"Good little girl, good little wife, then good little mother." Triple goddess?

"And as Conrad says, that's what we're here for." Again, very cool Conrad.

Interesting having Poppy here, but clearly a lot more convention in terms of her childhood intelligence. How does that happen?

Ooh, is Belinda breaking out of this?

"It turned out, Doctor Who wasn't the only one left. A Time Lady had survived." Hm, are we going in some "repopulate the species" direction here? Seemingly not conventionally, given the Rani isn't herself acting as the Doctor's wife here, but there's implications from Conrad's lines here.

...what's she riding?

Seal of Rassilon spotted!

Hm, what with these helmetted people? Thought they were passenger-forms for a second.

Wait, the Rani wants people to doubt?

"Is it ok out there? Is it working?" Hm? So Conrad a) seemingly isn't in as much control as he seems, and b) is trying to accomplish something specific.

"Sometimes I forget about the weather and South Africa gets flooded." So reality is flowing through him somehow? It's almost like he's trying to take care of everyone, but is also clearly malicious in other ways.

Ah right. Clear mummy issues. That makes sense.

"The boy who wants the world to be better." Stop trying to make him sound earnest.

THE GIGGLE!

Hm, so the vindicators still have a part to play? I wonder how accurate or not my episode one onwards theory is.

"Tonight, we will find him. The One Who Is Lost." Gee I wonder who that is (disclaimer: I already know who that is). Interesting that this name echoes "The One Who Waits". Are we pulling Omega into the Pantheon too? I kinda hope not, as really can't fit with having a history with the rest. Not like Sutekh with the Titan Comic parallels.

"And then the great work begins." Rebuilding Gallifrey maybe?

"Many years ago when Gallifrey was young, the Doctor and the Time Lady had been terrible enemies." Uhh... 'young' is an interesting choice of phrasing. I'm guessing this is just for the narrative, but taking this literally, this feels like a Fugitive / Morbius Doctor sort of thing. But the Rani doesn't fit into that (unless we really are getting "Time Lord reincarnation is more common than we think" theory confirmed, like I said on that one Chibnall-related post.

"But the Time Lady knew they could be great friends, if only Doctor Who knew how clever she was!" Hmm... this feels interesting. Hopefully we're not making the Rani's research all about the Doctor, are we?

Also, what does this refer to? Ancient Gallifrey (as mentioned above)? Academy era (this arguably could fit best, if we take this as a sort of meet cute of how Ushas joined the Deca)? Classic era? Now?

"So one day she stepped out from the shadows..." "He said her name out loud. And he said, "We shouldn't be enemies any more..." NO, PLEASE LET ME HEAR ALL THIS! ... also by name, do we mean "Rani", "Ushas" or somehting else? I hope Conrad's background speaking is included in the script, whenever Writersroom releases it.

"The disabled, the dispossessed, the ones who don't fit in." Once again, very cool Conrad.

"It's like a glimpse in the corner of my eye, like I can remember something, then... it's gone." Perception filter?

WAIT, are we seriously about to link back to 73 Yards?!

"It's perception bias. He's not disabled, so he can't see us." God I love this. This is such a clever way to use this reality warping actually. Of course Conrad's biases enforce gender roles, homophobia, but he doesn't give a shit about disabled people, for better or worse.

"We're going to bring down God." Huh, so who did the Rani/Flood overthrow to get us to this point?

"But the Time Lady had an idea. She said, 'It's not over, because I know a secret, hidden away.' And the secret came from the depths of Time Lord history. A secret so old and so terrible, everyone had forgotten. But the secret was beginning to wake." OH?

SUSAN! SUSAN! SUSAN!

(Why does her appearing on the screen in white feel so "The End of Time Woman"-core?)

Also, no way, is this going to link back to her origin?

"But the secret was beginning to wake." Dark Times / pre-rationality? The Timeless Child? Omega's betrayal?

"And the Doctor said, 'Tell me the secret'. But the mysterious Time Lady was clever and wise, and she knew that Doctor Who was weak. " Again very curious when this story, if real, actually occurred. It sounds like it must have been right before the episode, but how does that work with the previous episode's cliffhanger?

ROGUE?!!!

'Hell dimension'. So he's not in a Land of Fiction then. So much for that sequel idea.

"Tables don't do that." There we go.

"I miss you. Well... more than that. I love-" And of course Conrad interrupts this!

"I warn you, Doctor. This secret will change reality forever."

Oh, I didn't realise the cups were literally falling through the table. So it is a matter of projection, isn't it? The matter, in a sense, isn't actually there? (Or the force of electromagnetism itself has technically vanished with the surrounding loss of rationality?) Again, reality being held together by the mind, ala the Antimatter universe.

(Also, quite TV Movie esque, with matter's properties changing from the Eye of Harmony being open. Who do we know who was involved in those Black Hole experiments?)

Nope, Belinda is still suppressing then.

OK, I know it being UNIT is what's important, but I chuckled at the "relic from the other world" being a fucking iPad.

Rassilon mention! President Eternal huh?

Hm, the Rani's characterisation is interesting. It's clearly paralleling the Master in some ways, with the emphasis on their history etc. but she also thankfully doesn't actually feel like them at all (though the discoball is cutting it a bit close). Sure it's a bit of a far cry from Kate O'Mara's Rani in some some ways, but I actually really like it. This feels like someone who really was close with the Doctor once upon a time. It also makes sense she may act in a way that builds off those old bonds, given they are both, effectively, among all that's left of Gallifrey. Regardless, Archie is VERY good. I hope we keep her.

The way she's testing him is specifically very Rani though. It shows her inate academic curiosity.

Also, tbf, there are actually a few tender moments between the Rani and the Doctor in previous stories. They're easy to forget, but they are there. Like when she's disguised as Mel and clearly, for a moment, sympathises with Seven as he bemoans the nature of regeneration (one reason I like the interpretation, which I've seen some others share, that the Rani was actually scared of regenerating and hestitated for a long time). Or when the Doctor momentarily begins to wonder if they can be friends again (or maybe more? he doesn't finish the sentence), before dismissing the thought. It's a shame their dynamic is so often slept on tbh.

"We danced once upon a time, you and I, with the city burning around us! People said we were lovers. Can you remember if that's true? Far away in time and space. Were we?" I'm sure people are annoyed at this, and I can see an argument that it's a shame the Rani being being brought back so quickly leads to something romance related, a bit like the discourse around Best Enemies being depicted so strongly once the Master became Missy (I got the unfortunate implications of it all, but disagree it was intentional or anything - it was Moffat's first time writing the Master and I think he just wanted to depict their relationship explicitly while also introducing us to an on-screen cross-gender regeneration, and doing both together just happened to look a bit bad). But the Rani is clearly just teasing the Doctor's lack of memory.

Yay, Kate O'Mara :D

"Yes! I had a different face. So did you, a long time ago." Hm, who danced with her? Logically, it would make most sense to be Six or Seven, but this honestly sounds quite academy era-like? Could this be seen as evidence for O'Mara indeed being the First Rani?

"Because the tragedy is... we were never enemies. Every villain you ever thought wanted death. I only wanted life!"

"But this planet is a lie. This whole world is a wish." Yep, the planet's already gone isn't it? I'm so curious how this all comes together, it feels like the Rani's playing every side. She (presumably) wanted the Earth destroyed (by the TARDIS and the Vindicators?) but is also here holding it together? There's a gamibit here.

"But he made so much of this happen. He stirred the gods, Belinda. He woke the most ancient of powers."

"Desiderium - the god of wishes" Ok, this works for me so far.

"The Vindicator. Hidden in plain sight. Do you remember?" Plain sight is a bit much (we payed plenty of attention to it) but ok. This is what I'm waiting for.

But how does this work to amplify Desiderium's powers? Unless the Rani somehow planted it in the TARDIS, it must be via it's intended purpose, right?

"It crisscrossed the universe, creating a web of power to bring you back here." A Web you say? 👀

Or am I wrong, and it'll be more of a ritual thing, ala the fairy ring in 73 Yards?

"A billion supernovas" wait, is this based on what Rassilon did when Omega was lost? With the energy of the black hole flowing through him, how he changed the laws of physics and created the event horizon?

Kind of? She's using his doubt. Literally the Doctor's own Observer Effect.

"Omega" YEP there we are.

"Omega. The First Time Lord. The creator of the Time Lords. The greatest and most terrifying Time Lord of all."

OMG she's not acting to restore rationality per say (though in a way, using the Doctor's doubt could be seen as doing just that, re-imposing logic on a reality that has ceased to make sense) she's doing this to tear down Rassilon's work, isn't she?

When you think about it, this is the consequence of the Doctor's overthrowing of Rassilon in Hell Bent. The Time Lords finally began to see him for what he was, and the Rani may well have been among them. Only she filled the void of what once was likely a great hero of hers, given his impact on Time Lord science and rationality, with someone else.

And of course she wants to help Omega. The Deca loved him, Morbius, other fearsome Time Lord leaders of legend.

Side note - I can't believe they're actually showing us Omega's seal again too!

The Series 4 version of the Doctor's Theme! Have we even heard it since Eleven regenerated?

Ooh, the purple hues of everything disappearing are very similar to the threshold (I've been thinking about it every time they've said that word) and the portal the Timeless Child was found below. Is that just what portals out of N-Space look like (remember, the Master implied that Gallifrey was in the pocket universe when he destroyed it)?

"I have a daughter. Poppy is real. Do you know what that means?" HUH? THAT'S WHERE WE'RE GOING TO END IT?!

OK, as I said I'm not going to say too much right now, as it's late and writing is a bit inconvenient atm. I'll be saying a lot more later next week.

What I am going to say now though, before I see any other reactions to this? HOLY SHIT I LOVED THAT EPISODE. Low key, might be one of my favourite penultimate episodes (Heaven Sent is still top though obviously). Admittedly it leaves SO many questions open, so we're dependent on it sticking the landing and not copping out of all this, but my hopes are so high right now, even with the bad taste Empire of Death gave me previously. That's not to say it's perfect (there's a few RTDisms in there, with obvious reveals and such, plus things like Rogue kinda coming out of nowhere, but maybe he's back next episode?), but the fact we're actually kinda hinting at all this deep lore, FINALLY some consequences actually making good use of post-Time War Gallifrey (even if it's not around, and to be clear, I did like 90% of the Timeless Child/Division arc too), and giving us compelling characterisation of the Rani?

You've got me Russell, don't let us down.