#one of the main characters of my original book is a guy...

[aquathewriter]

Hey! Will you do 4 and 23 for the ask game? :D

Sure can!

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

Ok so, um, I looked through my notes and in pretty much all of them, i have some sort of snippet written 😅 I’ll change this slightly and have it be a story idea i haven’t shared. I have an idea where London!Ed (who I've named Edmund) lived and Ed still sent to the other side of the Gate. Edmund hates Ed at first and blames him for his injuries and other things. A year would pass and an event would happen that causes Edmund to start forgiving Ed. Eventually, the fic would follow Conquror of Shamballa.

23. pick three keywords that describe your writing

Uhhh....trauma, soft, second chances

....maybe...

[derrypubliclibrary]

i either have 2 make a cowgirl oc or i have 2 put The Characters in that situation but i cannot keep going like this (plagued by Cowboy Thoughts for some reason)

[spin-in-time]

Ninjago s1 and s2 i miss you so fucking bad . ;;;;;;;;;;;; i have to rewatch them, My God....

Lloyd and garmadon angst around the s1 finale, I MISS YOU, DO YOU WANT ME TO BAWL MY EYES OUT . ;;;;;

[funkle420]

i recently found a copy of The Sirens of Titan, which used to be my favorite book and I've read it twice, and I feel like I should read it again since it's been like 10 years

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

Hey so like many of you, I saw that article about how people are going into college having read no classic books. And believe it or not, I've been pissed about this for years. Like the article revealed, a good chunk of American Schools don't require students to actually read books, rather they just give them an excerpt and tell them how to feel about it. Which is bullshit.

So like. As a positivity post, let's use this time to recommend actually good classic books that you've actually enjoyed reading! I know that Dracula Daily and Epic the Musical have wonderfully tricked y'all into reading Dracula and The Odyssey, and I've seen a resurgence of Picture of Dorian Gray readership out of spite for N-tflix, so let's keep the ball rolling!

My absolute favorite books of all time are The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. Classic psychological horror books about unhinged women.

I adore The Bad Seed by William March. It's widely considered to be the first "creepy child" book in American literature, so reading it now you're like "wow that's kinda cliche- oh my god this is what started it. This was ground zero."

I remember the feelings of validation I got when people realized Dracula wasn't actually a love story. For further feelings of validation, please read Frankenstein by Mary Shelley and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. There's a lot the more popular adaptations missed out on.

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier is an absolute gem of a book. It's a slow-build psychological study so it may not be for everyone, but damn do the plot twists hit. It's a really good book to go into blind, but I will say that its handling of abuse victims is actually insanely good for the time period it was written in.

Moving on from horror, you know people who say "I loved this book so much I couldn't put it down"? That was me as a kid reading A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Picked it up while bored at the library and was glued to it until I finished it.

Peter Pan and Wendy by JM Barrie was also a childhood favorite of mine. Next time someone bitches about Woke Casting, tell them that the original 1911 Peter Pan novel had canon nonbinary fairies.

Watership Down by Richard Adams is my sister Cori's favorite book period. If you were a Warrior Cats, Guardians of Ga'Hoole or Wings of Fire kid, you owe a metric fuckton to Watership Down and its "little animals on a big adventure" setup.

A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry was a play and not a book first, but damn if it isn't a good fucking read. It was also named after a Langston Hughes poem, who's also an absolutely incredible author.

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is a book I absolutely adore and will defend until the day I die. It's so friggin good, y'all, I love it more than anything. You like people breaking out of fascist brainwashing? You like reading and value knowledge? You wanna see a guy basically predict the future of television back in 1953? Read Fahrenheit.

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain and To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee are considered required reading for a reason: they're both really good books about young white children unlearning the racial biases of their time. Huck Finn specifically has the main character being told that he will go to hell if he frees a slave, and deciding eternal damnation would be worth it.

As a sidenote, another Mark Twain book I was obsessed with as a kid was A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Exactly what it says on the tin, incredibly insane read.

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin is a heartbreaking but powerful book and a look at the racism of the time while still centering the love the two black protagonists feel for each other. Giovanni's Room by the same author is one that focuses on a MLM man struggling with his sexuality, and it's really important to see from the perspective of a queer man living in the 50s– as well as Baldwin's autobiographical novel, Go Tell it on the Mountain.

Agatha Christie mysteries are all still absolutely iconic, but Murder on the Orient Express is such a good read whether or not you know the end twist.

Maybe-controversial-maybe-not take: Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is a good book if you have reading comprehension. No, you're not supposed to like the main character. He pretty much spells that out for you at the end ffs.

Animal Farm by George Orwell was another favorite of mine; it was written as an obvious metaphor for the rise of fascism in Russia at the time and boy does it hit even now.

And finally, please read Shakespeare plays. As soon as you get used to their way of talking, they're not as hard to understand as people will lead you to believe. My absolute favorite is Twelfth Night- crossdressing, bisexual love triangles, yellow stockings... it's all a joy.

and those are just the ones i thought of off the top of my head! What're your guys' favorite classic books? Let's make everyone a reading list!

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Dating in a Dream - Epel Felmier

SUMMARY: What would his dream be like, exactly the same as in the original story, but with the small detail that he is dreaming that you two are dating?

CHARACTERS: Epel Felmier x Reader 🍎🦐

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; In a Relationship (kinda)

WARNING: Spoilers from Book 7 and Epel’s dream (Eng Server)

WORD COUNT: 1.530 words

COMMENTS: As English is not my first language I asked Gemini for help with Epel's dialect/accent. This was written as a companion piece to the original dream story, so the parts that are the same as the game are just summarized.

I hope you enjoy 🍎

Dating in a Dream: Idia / (Epel) / Rook / Vil / Kalim / Jamil / Floyd / Jade / Azul / ...

“Aether signal tracking successful.” Ortho says when you land in the new dream, along with Grim, Silver and Sebek. “We have arrived at the designated coordinates.”

You're on Main Street, looking around and trying to figure out whose dream it is. That's when you hear abnormally heavy footsteps running and getting closer. You look and see an Epel's head in a body that looks more like Jack's, which made it all the more strange, uncanny, and almost hilarious.

You hear him saying something about being late and that's why he doesn't see your group. Grim was the one who had to shout to get Epel's attention.

“Ah, Grim! (Y/N)! Good morning! And behind you, Ah see... Ortho and some Diasomnia fellas Ah don't hardly know. Ah don't get why y'all're glowerin'.”

“Cease your incessant mumbling!” Sebek says.

“Huh? Ah was just... Ain't you Sebek from Class D? What's yer problem? Y'wanna start somethin' with me, huh?”

Epel approaches Sebek as if he were ready to start a fight, that's when you put yourself between the two of them to ask Epel to wait and say that there's no need for that.

“Oh, they’re yer friends? Sorry babe.”

“W-what did he call (Y/N)?” Grim asked with wide eyes, the same expression as everyone else.

“Hey, since you're here... Ah was goin’ to ma Spelldrive practice. Don't you have cheerleadin' practice too? You always practice with us.”

“C-cheerleading?” You ask.

“Yeah. You probly forgot ‘cause you're always so busy. If you're free, come with me. Ah always play better with you cheerin’ me on.” He smirks at you. “And Ah know how you love seein’ yer boyfriend win another game.”

“BOYFRIEND?!” Everyone said in unison.

“Oh boy.” Idia's voice says through the tablet. “Dude is dreaming that he's some sports team captain who's dating the head cheerleader. So cliché. What did I tell you about his imagination being weak?”

“Epel Felmier. May I make you a few questions?” Ortho asks and Epel agrees. “From what I understand, you and (Y/N) are dating, correct?”

“Ya bet we are!” Epel confirms with a huge smile. “Ain't they just as kind as can be, and as pretty as a picture?” He grabs you by the waist to pull you against him. “Shoot, Ah must be the luckiest guy aroun’!”

“Aww, so sweet.” Idia says. “If I get diabetes after this I'll be sending this guy the bill for my medication.”

“You two really make a very cute couple.” Ortho says to Epel. You didn't know if he was being sincere or sarcastic just to keep the conversation going. “When did you two start dating?”

“Lesse... When was it again? It was after I gained muscle and get this tall. And that was... Uhh... When WAS it? ... Hrk! Mah head... It hurts!”

The dream begins to distort, but when you think Epel is about to wake up, Vil and Rook appear, darkness versions of them.

“I believe it was near the end of winter break when your height surpassed mine, Eple.” Darkness Vil says.

“Oui. And you two started your love affair in the spring.” Darkness Rook complements. “Tellement romantique!”

“Really?” Idia complained again. “You start dating in the spring? How predictable. Were the birds also singing their hearts out when (Y/N) said 'Of course I want to date you, silly' ?”

“Epel.” Darkness Vil speaks again. “You left the dorm rather early today, so why are you standing around shooting the breeze?”

“Ah was on mah way to mornin’ practice when Ah ran into (Y/N) and these other folks...”

“Conversing with friends is indeed a valuable thing, but are you not the Spelldrive club most promising rookie?” Darkness Rook says. “I hear as much all the time from Leona.”

The two darkness figures with the appearance of Vil and Rook continue talking about how Eple is strong and such a talented player that the students of Savanaclaw would like him to ask to transfer to their dorm, but Vil would never allow it because he doesn't want to lose a student like Epel.

“That’s enough idle chitchat.” Darkness Vil says. “Off with you, now, get to your club.”

“Yessir. You coming with me (Y/N)?”

“NO!” You say. “This is not you Epel! You're not this tall, muscular guy. You are a boy with a cute and delicate appearance but a will of steel. We may have never started dating, but the truth is... I like you too Epel. I really do. But not this you, the real you. The Epel who said in SDC that he was going to maximize his weapon and beat Neige with his charm! Did you forget?”

“Epel. Cease listening to those spudlings.” Darkness Vil warns him.

“Yes, indeed. You will never go wrong by heeding Vil, Epel!” Darkness Rook encourages.

“You were finally accepting yourself.” You continue “Finally seeing yourself the way I see you. You were so cool! I was so proud of you!”

The dream world distorts again until Epel breaks and awakens. His body returned to normal, and he was wearing his dorm uniform.

“How could I have forgotten?” Epel says with tears in the corners of his eyes. “I was going to accept the strength only I had, a strength like that poison apple... I swore it that day!”

You feel so happy to see him return to the Epel you know that you can't contain the urge to hug him. He stays still for a second because of the surprise, but right after you feel him returning the hug with affection.

“Oh dear, Epel...” Darkness Vil says horrified. “You look so frail now.”

“Misérables! Your physique towered as high as the Seven jeweled Hills themselves. Where has it gone?”

“You poor thing. That dirty spud have cursed you with a pitiful form. You certainly deserve someone better than them. Come to me instead. I'll restore your brawny beauty.”

“Yes, Vil, that's a marvelous idea! Come, Epel. Join us.”

Epel is silent for a moment. To then tell them that the Rook and Vil he knows would never say those things. And that he would be lying if he said that he didn't wish he could be big and brawny.

“But the strength I want... The brawn I want... The beauty I want... The love I want... That's for ME to decide, and for ME to claim myself! And one more thing... You insult (Y/N) again, and me punchin' yer fake face'll be the least of yer worries, I guarantee it!”

Darkness Vil and Rook tried to convince Epel to choose the dream over reality, but this only angered him even more and made him and the others attack the darkness figures. Epel finishes the fight by using his signature spell on the fake Vil and Rook.

“Hey, Epel! You finally awake?” Grim asks.

“Yeah, my head's clear now. I must've looked like a real doof to you guys, huh?”

They chit chat a little about Epel showing how strong he is for being able to overcome the darkness. Until Grim speaks again to caught Epel's attention with a serious expression and crossed paws.

“Enough chit chat. Epel, I need to sort somethin’ out with you.” Epel looks at Grim puzzledly and Grim points at him with a cute, threatening finger. “What are your intentions with my hench-human?”

Epel practically jumps in place with a panicked expression and flushed cheeks. He opens his mouth to say something, or at least try, but he can barely say a word without stuttering.

“If you need, I can play the audios of what you said so you remember what you could explain first.” Ortho suggests with a look of someone who smiles mischievously.

“NO! REALLY DON’T DO IT!” Epel begs. “Can we just forget about that for now and focus on the real issue here? I don’t even know what's going on. What was up with the fake Vil and Rook? What’s happening?!”

They show the explanatory video to Epel, explain the plan and that he should go with them to the next dream as they would go to another Pomefiore student's dream. He agrees and Ortho creates a dummy version of tall and brawny Epel to stay in that dream so as not to alert Malleus.

“Eugh! Now that I'm looking at it again... How in tarnation did Ah ever think Ah looked cool?!”

“Indeed.” You say. “The real you is so much better.”

He looks at you surprised and flattered.

“R-really?... Huh... hey... sorry about... huh...”

“I like you too, Epel.” You admit.

“You... WHAT?!”

You tell him that the feeling is mutual and everything you like about him. You also talk about how you prefer the real him, rather than that... weird version of him.

“You know, I could cheer for you in a game or two if you want.” You tease him.

“I’m... not gonna lie, I would love that.” He smiles, cutely and excited. He then gains the courage to hug you and kiss you on the cheek.

“PDA Alert!” Idia's voice is heard through the table.

Epel immediately moves away from you, embarrassed for having done it in front of the others.

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[loneliness-of-spring]

what if... yuu and yan! scarabia... ? book 4 but they just dont want to let you leave.... think emoji

‼️‼️‼️THIS IS A YANDERE POST IF YOU’RE NOT COMFORTABLE PLEASE SCROLL AWAY. YANDERE CONTENT BELOW THE CUT‼️‼️‼️

I DO NOT CONDONE ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THIS POST!!!

I don’t know if you meant just our two scarabia characters or the whole dorm but either way I think it’s delicious. My thoughts here are more jamil-focused because he’s like. The main instigator in the first place WHAHHAHA

Also I got so stuck on thinking of what to illustrate for my points I’m so sorry 😭😭😭😭⁉️⁉️⁉️ this is more me rambling about bullshit

ooooh jamil’s plot takes on an extra sinister motive here whehehehehhe. He’s the first one to invite yuu into scarabia originally, for us to witness Kalim “becoming a tyrant” and a recreation of the Riddle situation. In a yandere scenario, aside from his anger and hatred towards Kalim and wanting to dethrone him, he’d definitely have an added motive of wanting to scare yuu away from Kalim right into his “caring” arms.

Kalim… would be a more “magnanimous” yandere. The type to spoil you absolutely rotten, treat you to anything in the world, just not the actual proper freedom you’re asking for. Trapping a bird in a gilded cage! He’d be way more agreeable to letting yuu stay in scarabia than in canon, and way more willing to “share” and show off his darling. I’m sure jamil abuses that fact to his advantage.

Jamil would be sooo manipulative. Unlike canon, he’d be more active in personally taking care of you, aiding in your escape attempts only to be “caught��, pretending to be your one and only ally in scarabia, all to gain more favour in your eyes. He’s the good guy, trying to help you, but his hands are tied by Kalim the tyrant! He’s risking his head just for you, see?

While he hates to put you through the gruelling marches to the oasis, he’s doing it to drive home the fact that Kalim’s a tyrant. It’s okay, he’ll take good care of you afterwards in any way he’s able to! He’s soooo sorry for dragging you into the mood swings of his tyrant of a dorm head.

If Kalim weren’t being controlled, he would’ve so gotten you on the same carriage as him during the oasis march. Literally cuddling up to you while sitting comfortably on plush, high quality cushions in the cooling shade as the entire scarabia dorm worked their asses off to get to the oasis in the desert sun.

I don’t think Jamil actually expected you to escape on your own; he’s got issues with looking down on others in a “I could do better than them, I just wasn’t allowed to!” fashion (I dunno how this holds up with book 7 I’m so sorry). In this scenario, I imagine that he probably had another escape plan for you in mind that would get you straight to Crowley/ an authority figure so he’d have no choice but to shut the tyrant situation down (he wouldn’t want a repeat of the riddle overblot, would he?), but once you crashed in Octavinelle and met the trio it was over for him and his plan.

Jamil’s overblot would go a bit differently. You’d definitely be locked up or held prisoner rather than tossed out with octavinelle and Kalim (saddening). The fight would go as per usual, but the aftermath? Horrific for Jamil. He’s RUINED in yuu’s eyes and he knows it. I think Kalim would’ve cried and even begged on his knees for you to stay and give them a second chance; literally bribing you with luxuries you could never think of having while living in that dilapidated dorm of yours (tempting when in a horrific living situation), but they can’t really do much coercion with the most powerful trio from octavinelle as witnesses. Jamil’s most definitely also trying to stop Kalim because this gives octavinelle extremely valuable information; the ramshackle prefect is a large weakness for the Scarabia dorm heads.

Perhaps if jamil didn’t literally just overblot, he would’ve used snake whisper again on you for you to agree to Kalim’s begging… and maybe even to agree to doing a few more things when you’re locked away in scarabia… Whereas Kalim is the type to worship his darling, jamil’s the type to want to be worshipped. In captivity, you’d be treated so affectionately by the two; adorned in all sorts of high quality clothing and jewellery from the scalding sands by kalim, jamil taking control over every little thing in your life so you wouldn’t have to lift a finger and forcing you to praise him for all that he’s doing for you, even using snake whisper on you in private so he can get you to worship him with the sweetest, most ego-inflating words, flirtatious and touchy actions, all while putting down kalim with every compliment you give him. Things you’d never do willingly with him.

The dorm… Oughhh the whole scarabia dorm… they’re all scheming and competing for yuu’s affections. If the WHOLE dorm were yandere, the competition would go crazy.

Some would temporarily work together, agreeing with Kalim to keep you in the dorm. Some would be backstabbers and do the same as Jamil; pretend that they’re your only ally and that you can’t trust anyone, constantly “helping” you to gain your favour and drive you away from the others.

The constant backstabbing would go INSANE you can’t trust anyone for shit because the moment you do they betray you/ get found out and hurt to reinforce that if you try to escape, people will be hurt in your stead. (in reality your “allies” find out about the others and tattle on them to the others. “If I can’t have you, no one can” mentality.)

If twst were a psychological horror game this would be it on expert level difficulty

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 13: The One Where the Ashes Blew Towards Us with the Salt Wind from the Sea

“Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.”

Ah, yes, that ominous opening line from Daphne du Maurier’s novel, “Rebecca.” Have you ever read it? It’s an old book – from 1938, in fact! – but it’s truly a remarkable story, especially for its time. It’s not often you find yourself rooting for the murderer.

Lately, I have found myself becoming more and more frustrated with the fandom. And, no, my annoyance is not from the Sincerely Ignorant teetering on and off the boat every time someone takes a dump on the deck of the USS Lukola – I’m pretty fucking used to that shit – and, honestly, many of our dear Sincerely Ignorant seem to be gaining their sea legs. It’s the Conscientiously Stupid that have struck a chord with me – a disturbing, dissonant chord that leaves me questioning the average level of human intelligence.

My issue with the Conscientiously Stupid is that they push narratives that, when taken collectively, make no goddamn sense. Thanks to The-One-That-Lurks-in-a-Play-Misty-For-Me-Heaping-Pile-of-Discordant-Garbage, I have had the [dis]pleasure of learning about Nicola- and Luke-Adjacent theories. Did you know that the small scrap of green blanket Nicola was sitting on in her August 11 “Drink Your Milk” picture proved that the picture was meant for Jake? You know the guy that, at that point in Fandom History, most people had no clue even existed? I mean, that makes a lot more sense than linking the “Drink Your Milk” shirt Nicola was showcasing to the one Luke was seen wearing on June 22. Now, I’m not saying the shirt belonged to Luke, but if we’re comparing apples to apples, which one of these theories seems more plausible to you?

At this point, you have probably started to realize I enjoy weaving in and out of storytelling mode, mixing fact with theory and speculation. Today, I decided to take a classic novel – surely you didn’t think I made that reference to “Rebecca” for nothing – and loosely intertwine it with some Conscientiously Stupid adjacent theories. This is all in good fun and, like usual, mostly for my own dark humor.

I should probably begin by introducing our book characters. Honestly, you can probably guess which of our shipmates I have assigned to each role fairly quickly.

First, we have our Unnamed Narrator. Seriously, her first name is never revealed.

Second, we have Mrs. Danvers, the obsessive, borderline psychotic housekeeper.

Third, we have Maxim de Winter, our Narrator’s husband.

Fourth, we have Jack Favell, the dodgy and unlikeable cousin.

Lastly, we have our titular character, that darling creature Rebecca.

Now, let’s see who is on the playbill.

ANTONIA AS MRS. DANVERS

It pained me just a little to give the role of Mrs. Danvers to Antonia, primarily because Mrs. Danvers is such a complex character and I’ve always found Antonia to be rather simple. And, no, I’m not insinuating Antonia is simple-minded; I am saying it was never difficult to see through her bullshit (i.e., the phrase, “patterns are patterning,” didn’t come out of thin air). It helped that Mrs. Danvers is one of the main antagonists in the book and almost certainly the GOAT at trolling the heroine of “Rebecca.” I mean, the second Mrs. de Winter didn’t stand a chance with Danny lurking in the background.

The general narrative in Lukola Lore is that Antonia is an online troll. I’ve never been sure as to who her primary target was – Nicola or the Lukola fandom. I tend to believe it originated as Nicola and the Lukola fandom was simply collateral damage. I also cannot say for fact that Antonia was trolling anyone, but I can confirm that the general belief within the fandom that Antonia was trolling is well-documented on social media. For today’s story, we are going to assume the narrative that Antonia was trolling both Nicola and the Lukola fandom. We are also going to assume the USS Lutonia (because I have no fucking clue what the Luke-Antonia ship is called!) was real. Don’t get your feathers fluffed over this. This belief does exist – and it’s why Antonia has been able to fuck with the Lukolas as long as she has – but I promise I have every intention of peppering the side of this ship with holes.

Okay, let’s tow the USS Lutonia out to sea. Don’t forget your Dramamine!

We are living under the umbrella that Luke and Antonia were dating during the World Tour. Poor Antonia was forced into hiding by – who the fuck knows but let’s keep rolling with this narrative – and she wasn’t allowed to be openly seen with Luke or post anything on her social media with Luke. And, Luke mirrored this behavior and made an effort to keep Antonia out of the spotlight (in fact, at the New York City premiere, the average viewer wouldn’t have known Antonia was anything more than Luke’s “friend of a friend”). Antonia, annoyed with this lack of engagement (and, almost certainly fed up with, at a minimum, fans shipping Luke with Nicola), started the pattern of posting pictures of herself and tagging her location as places the fandom knew Luke had recently been. Luke, for his part, made no effort to acknowledge his relationship with Antonia. Instead, he continued his flirtatious relationship with Nicola. After the London premiere, the Lukolas put a target smack dab in the middle of Antonia’s back and blamed her for setting up Papsmear for her own benefit. Luke still made no effort to acknowledge his relationship with Antonia or protect her from the abundance of online hate she received. In fact, he posted his “I will not let [Cressida] ruin our night” story to Instagram instead (see my “Entry 1 – The One About That Weird Ass Cressida Post” if you’re confused by this comment). During post-Papsmear events, Luke did not list her as a plus one and he didn’t like any pictures of Antonia that were not on her grid. In fact, the only evidence directly linking Luke to Antonia were leaked and/or since-deleted pictures and videos not released by Luke. Throughout the summer, Antonia continued her efforts to place herself in proximity to Luke via tagged or easily recognizable locations. Oddly, many of Antonia’s posts seemed to occur shortly after Nicola posted or before/after DeuxMoi posted pap pictures, which gave birth to the “Antonia is trolling” subplot. Still, Luke made no effort to acknowledge his relationship with Antonia. On July 30, Luke was papped with Antonia and his friend group in Sorrento (see my “Entry 11 – The One About the Heart of the Ocean” if you want my opinion about that excursion). This was the last time Luke and Antonia were publicly photographed together. Once Luke returned to London on August 2, Antonia continued her campaign of insinuating she was in the same location as Luke, with the most recent being the Italian restaurant in Rome (which the restauranteur debunked, in my opinion). Again, Luke and Antonia have not been photographed together since July 30. To date, Luke has made no effort to acknowledge his relationship with Antonia, and the only visible interaction by Luke are his likes on Antonia’s semi-monthly Instagram grid posts, which seem obligatory at this point. For the month of November, there was no interaction between Luke and Antonia because Antonia did not post to her grid (gasp!).

Now, for all the Lutonia’s out there, explain to me why this kind of relationship is acceptable to you. Seriously, explain it to me.

Convince me that Luke didn’t shutter Antonia from the moment the USS Lukola schematics were presented to the engineers.

Convince me that Antonia is the kind of woman who would happily accept Luke’s blatant dismissal of her existence while he globe-trotted around the world with a woman he was being openly shipped with by fans, the press, and Bridgerton mates.

Convince me that Luke’s behavior towards Antonia doesn’t make him the worst boyfriend on the planet.

Convince me that Antonia’s online behavior towards Nicola and the Lukola fandom during and after the World Tour doesn’t make her a troll.

Convince me that Luke and Antonia are the definition of “true love.” Actually, before you do that, convince me that Luke and Antonia are currently dating.

Or, maybe you’ve realized that any effort to try to convince me would be a waste of your time because you, too, are starting to find this entire narrative unacceptable. It equates Antonia to someone who doesn’t mind being boxed into a corner and forced to claw her way out, and it likens Luke to an overbearing womanizer who doesn’t give two flips about how online hate may be affecting his partner. I mean, we may as well dump these two into an entirely different book called “The Handmaid’s Tale.”

I didn’t assign the role of Mrs. Danvers to Antonia because I thought Antonia was a feeble coward without her own voice. And, no, I didn’t give her the role because Mrs. Danvers is an obsessive psychopath. I gave Antonia the role of Mrs. Danvers because the fandom handed her the power to influence this narrative on a silver platter, just like the Narrator in “Rebecca” allowed herself to be manipulated by Mrs. Danvers. Moving forward, when you see Antonia with a lit match, all you need to do is lean over and blow it out. Poof! And, she’s gone. Seriously, if you see our version of Mrs. Danvers with anything that might light a fire, take it away from her!

Surely someone out there gets my joke…

LUKE AS MAXIM DE WINTER

Of course, Luke is Maxim de Winter, the outwardly charismatic, but recently widowed anti-hero who caught the affection of our Unnamed Narrator. I mean, he’s a good guy, right? Uhh, yeah, sure… Who doesn’t want to be married to a brooding chauvinist who is outwardly obsessed with the titular character? Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound like Luke at all! Oh, no, actually it does – if you believe the USS Lutonia is real!

For Luke, we are going to assume the same narrative as above – that the USS Lutonia is real, that Antonia trolled Nicola and the Lukola fandom, and that Luke refused to acknowledge his relationship with Antonia. Besides the obvious “Luke is the shittiest fucking boyfriend in the universe,” I have a few other gripes with the USS Lutonia.

Initially, I understood the concept of “keeping Antonia in the dark,” after all I try to be logical when I process information. It was always possible Luke and Nicola were rocking some great PR in the beginning of the World Tour, and that was the only thing they were rocking. In fact, that’s what I initially believed Nicola was doing – being cute but also professional in her interactions with Luke during those early press junkets. Luke, on the other hand, always seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve. Once they hit Australia, it seemed obvious to me that something had changed (go back and read my “Entry 12 – The One Where We Start Laying the Yellow Brick Road to Italy” for a briefing on this). The more I watched Luke and Nicola interact on the World Tour, the more I became convinced Antonia must have been a thing of the past (or possibly nothing) for Luke – until Antonia showed up at Papsmear. At that point, I fully expected Luke to just own up to her. Like, give up on trying to hide Antonia from public view. But, then he pulled that goddamn “Cressida” post (seriously, if you have not read my first entry to this blog, go back and read it!). When you look at the World Tour and subsequent Hot Boy Summer, and the behaviors that were – and were not – on display during that timeframe, you start to develop a completely different view of the USS Lutonia. I mean, I’m not even sure that ship ever left the planning room!

One of the most glaring cosmetic flaws with the USS Lutonia is why “nice guy” Luke would treat Antonia with such indifference if he loved her. When asked who was most like their Bridgerton character, everyone always answered Luke. That he was the kindest, most genuine person. If that’s true, then why did Luke treat his “girlfriend,” Antonia, like she didn’t exist? Again, convince me that Luke’s Public Display of Apathy towards Antonia made him a great boyfriend. Even if Luke was a private person, one would think that after someone he cared about received as much hate as Antonia did after Papsmear, he would have stepped up and taken control of the narrative. He didn’t hesitate to clear up the “cake eating” picture from his September 7 Instagram post (about Nicola), and that “Cressida” post will live rent-free in my mind forever. The only “logical” explanation I can come up with for “nice guy” Luke to shutter Antonia right from the jump is that Antonia is not, and was not, a significant person in his life. That, or he really is a shithead, and he has a team of people lying about what a great guy he is.

We also need to consider Nicola’s interactions with Antonia. First, Nicola has never followed Antonia and Antonia has never followed Nicola, at least not on her public account. But, Nicola followed – and still follows – Luke’s ex, Jade. Now, typically, I’d just be like, “Meh,” on something like this. But, after Papsmear, Nicola could have very easily played the “Diplomat Barbie” and given Antonia a follow on Instagram. But, she didn’t, which signals to me that Nicola wasn’t touching Antonia with an invisible 10-foot pole. Second, if you watch the back-and-forth between Nicola and Antonia on social media – in black and white, pen on paper – you’ll see Nicola playing the cat-and-mouse game right along with Antonia (Nicola just played it a helluva lot better). It even appears Nicola sicced her – what my father calls JVN – “assassin” on Antonia starting around July 20 or, at the very least, she condoned JVN teasing Antonia. If everything was great between Luke and Antonia – and Luke was genuinely happy with Antonia – why would Luke put up with the back-and-forth on social media between Antonia, Nicola, and JVN? Oh, that’s right, because Luke is the corrupt captain of the USS Lutonia.  Seriously, if all was well between Luke and Antonia at this point in the timeline, then you’d have to surmise that all was not well between Luke and Nicola. We will get to that in a moment. Right now, aboard the USS Lutonia, Luke is just a lousy boyfriend.

Lastly – and what has always left me scratching my head – why would Luke allow Antonia to troll his fandom? Why allow Antonia to make insinuations online that they’re together but never come to her rescue when the fandom starts flinging shit at her? In my opinion, the InStyle copycat pictures (go read my last blog entry…) were just Antonia getting her feet wet. Why continue to put up with Antonia after allegations began flying that she arranged Papsmear and the Italy pap pictures? I suppose the answer most Lutonias would give is, “Because they’re in love.” With everything I have outlined in this entry, do you honestly get the “in love” vibe from those two? Because I don’t.

Now, why did I draw parallels between Luke and the book character, Maxim? It’s not because I believe Luke to be a male chauvinist so wrapped up in his own drama that he ignores those around him. The USS Lutonia will definitely paint that impression, though! It’s because Maxim’s demeanor was superficial. What the Unnamed Narrator believed was true about her husband was not actually true. And, that’s how I view the USS Lutonia – Luke’s behavior and the narrative surrounding this ship does not match the logic.

JAKE AS JACK FAVELL

Sorry, Jake, you get to be the icky Jack Favell. Yeah, that manipulative, blackmailing creep sleeping with his own cousin! But, hey, that subplot isn’t any more disturbing than Jake being shipped with Nicola, is it?

Alright, let’s jump on board the USS Jakola but not before I preface this section with my father’s flabbergasted words: “This ship is on the bottom of the ocean. These people must have oxygen masks. They’re down there with Jules Verne. This just doesn’t make sense.” No, it really doesn’t make sense but, because I’m here to tell a story, I will begrudgingly dive into the USS Jakola narrative. And, by “dive,” I mean plunge to the bottom of the ocean because that’s where this ship rests.

Just like we did with the USS Lutonia, we are going to assume the USS Jakola is real. The Jakolas believe that Nicola has been seeing Jake since, I guess, the Renegade Nell premiere on or about March 26, 2024. Although, the last I checked Eamon Farren was also at that premiere holding an umbrella for Nicola. I am not confirming Nicola was ever dating Eamon; I am simply saying he was present at the event and holding a fucking umbrella for her. You can make up your own mind about Eamon’s role in Nicola’s life. Regardless, it must have been an instant connection between Nicola and Jake because, if the Jakola narrative is to be believed, they began secretly dating after that. The Jakolas will argue that all the songs Nicola posted to her Instagram stories were for Jake. The Claddagh ring has no traditional meaning when Nicola wears it, and Chaos Week was also for Jake (and a “fuck you” to Luke). The Lukola-coded fan fiction was a “fuck you” to the Lukola fandom (see my “Entry 10 – The One About the Audibly Loud Lukola FanFic”). And, Jake and Nicola are in love and have hard launched their relationship because (a) Jake has been seen wearing Nicola’s bucket hat, (b) they have been seen in public together, and (c) they occasionally hold hands.

I’m not going to lie – for the longest time I didn’t pay any attention to the USS Jakola because it was such an incredibly absurd concept to me. A few weeks back, I posted to my Tumblr account a music video that Jake had done in early 2023. The song is called “Mixed Emotions” by You Me at Six, and the article that came out with the video on February 7th, 2023 stated, “With Jake Dunn who played the protagonist in the video who is actually a friend of mine, we actually spoke a lot about toxic masculinity and his experiences within his sexuality and the impacts it has had on his relationship with his dad.” It honestly never occurred to me the USS Jakola actually had passengers on board until October when the Jakholes went bananas over Nicola holding Jake’s hand. In my opinion – and you do not have to agree with me – the music video speaks for itself as does Jake’s social media presence, whether it be on his own pages or on those of his friend group. I’m sure I’ll get some Jakholes in here crying that we shouldn’t speculate on Jake’s sexuality, but the reality is the only people speculating on Jake’s sexuality are the Jakolas trying to discern whether he’s heterosexual. But, why doesn’t he just come out and say it? I get this question all the time. The answer is quite simple – he doesn’t need to. Jake never buried this part of his life; it’s other people burying it for him. Do you need to blast your sexual preferences out into the universe? I didn’t think so.

For shits and giggles – because that’s what I’m here for – let’s keep going with the story that Nicola and Jake are hot and heavy with each other. I’ll play center field and say Jake is a switch hitter. Happy now? If Jakola is real, then why would Nicola lay all those Lukola-coded breadcrumbs? And, NO, I am not explaining every crumb she’s dumped online. This post is already too damn long. But, Dear Jakolas, don’t tell me those coordinated airplane pictures didn’t have you crying into your pillows. Seriously, though, why would Nicola fuck with the Lukola fandom? I’ve mentioned in previous posts that Polin and Lukola have even been blurred by Netflix & Co. at this point. What would be the point of dragging the Lukolas along only to find out it was Nicola just fucking around? That makes about as much sense as “nice guy” Luke being the shittiest boyfriend on the planet. Again, the narrative does not fit the logic – although you’re welcome to try to convince me that Jakola is real.

For starters, convince me as to why Nicola is Jake’s “type” and not Luke’s. I am not being factitious. I seriously want to know why she’s acceptable for Jake but not Luke. And, if you’re going to tell me it’s because Luke likes brunettes, you better bring me some evidence that Jake likes blonde women.

Convince me that the Claddagh ring has no traditional significance to Nicola and that Jake would be okay with Nicola wearing that Claddagh ring – the one she had made in honor of Bridgerton Season 3, the season she shared with the man that fills her Instagram grid and tags and is the other half of Lukola. If you’re stuck on the significance of this ring, go read “Entry 6 – The One Where I Explained the Claddagh Ring to My Dad.”

Convince me that Nicola and Jake are a couple. And, if you’re going to mention handholding, then convince me that Nicola is not in a relationship with Mark, JVN, Jack R., Golda, Hannah D., Dylan L., or Luke. Oh, and is it true Jake is now dating Ellie Bamber? Convince me he’s not…

Any ways, good luck, babe, trying to sway me into believing Jakola is the real deal because I have a feeling your efforts are going to make your face become as flushed as Jack Favell’s when he was caught with his hand in the till.

NICOLA AS REBECCA

Surely you didn’t think Nicola was going to be the heroine of this story! If you believe the USS Lutonia and USS Jakola are smoothly sailing across the ocean blue, then the only role Nicola could reasonably play is that of the story’s villain – Rebecca. Yes, Rebecca was a bad, bad girl. She was manipulative and intentionally cruel; a Bitch with a capital “B.” She haunted poor Maxim and controlled Mrs. Danvers and Jack like a master puppeteer. She also tortured the Unnamed Narrator from her watery grave.

Seriously, though, let’s turn the tables. Let’s pretend Lutonia and Jakola are real. Starting, say, April 29, Nicola started trolling Antonia by dropping Luke-coded material online and really started ramping up those doe-eyed looks in Luke’s direction. Remember all that cute BTS? Perfectly timed to make it look like Antonia was trolling her when in reality Nicola was trolling Antonia! Unbeknownst to Luke, Nicola commissioned that Claddagh ring and started wearing it to make it look like she was in a relationship with Luke. She even organized a side jaunt over to Galway to introduce Luke to – surprise! – her mother! But, after being rejected by Luke – because he really is in love with Antonia (the USS Lutonia is blasting its horn right about now) – Nicola – YES, Nicola! – set up Papsmear to ruin Luke. I mean, if he wasn’t going to be her boyfriend, he sure as shit wasn’t going to be anyone else’s! All summer Nicola waited for Luke, but he’d gone into hiding, scared to surface because Nicola might find him! After growing tired of waiting for Luke, Nicola got her assassin, JVN, to start trolling Antonia online, that way Nicola could put all her efforts into finding and trolling Luke. She set up Chaos Week. She trolled him on the airplane. But, she needed help (after all she had so many other events and awards shows this summer) so she enlisted her unwitting accomplice, Jake! Jake helped her set up that Lukola FanFic to remind Luke of what could have been. But, nothing was working so Nicola upped the ante and volunteered Jake to be her confused boyfriend. “Luke…Luke…” I can still hear her desperate cries being carried like ashes in the wind…

SEE!  I can do it, too – make up total bullshit to fit whatever narrative I please!!!

Yeah, yeah, maybe I went a bit too far (I warned you I had a dark sense of humor) but, honestly, I believe the only way the USS Lutonia and USS Jakola could stay afloat is if Nicola is the villain. She doesn’t even have to be a super villain. She just needs to be disingenuous enough to alienate Luke, terrorize Antonia, manipulate Jake, and mislead an entire fandom. Lucky for her, I don’t believe Nicola to be a real-life Rebecca. If you need an explanation as to why, then you didn't watch the same World Tour as me and you’re clearly on the wrong side of the fandom.

In truth, I believe the real villain to be…

YOU AS THE UNNAMED NARRATOR

Now, now, calm down. I’m not calling you out – at least not individually. I’m calling all of us out.

We as a fandom are the Unnamed Narrators of Lukola, Jakola, and Lutonia. We built these ships, and we control whether they stay afloat.

We took the narrative out of Luke and Nicola’s hands the moment we launched the USS Lutonia. Then we had to go and build the USS Jakola – I guess, because we were bored. No matter how hard Luke and Nicola try to pull the narrative back under their control, we allow side characters to feed us their side of the story! We fill our bellies with their nonsense and then vomit it all over the deck of the USS Lukola.

Seriously, we are the villains in this story. And, collectively, we are one bloody powerful super villain, aren’t we?

We control the narrative. So, if there’s a narrative you don’t agree with – for example, one that doesn’t make sense to you – stop being Conscientiously Stupid and feeding into it.

Remember what I said earlier? If you see Mrs. Danvers with a lit match, blow that fucker out! Otherwise, you’re going to let that bitch burn down the whole goddamn house.

[sudokuplayer]

I agree with you about the ridiculous book titles but I don't think the ones you mention are so great. Like what's so good about them👀

hiii 👋🏻 I apologize for this long answer. This is so serious for me lol I could talk about it for hours.

I think Giovanni's Room is a perfect title. As I said, it's short and evocative, and I think it's also mysterious but not that mysterious. You don't know what's up with the room in question but you can gather, for example, that this guy Giovanni is Italian, otherwise the name would be John or something, so for sure his Italian identity will be relevant. You have to assume there’s intention behind something as significant as a main character’s name. Also, and more importantly, there's no last name attached to Giovanni so it suggests intimacy—being on a first name basis. It lets you know that whoever tells the story is close to Giovanni; for sure close enough to have been inside his room. Name and last name creates a sense of distance and formality, or it suggests the person is 'important' or special; preternatural like Dorian Gray, famous like that woman Evelyn Hugo (probably, I haven't read it). But just ✨Giovanni✨ ... you can tell it's going to be a first person account of the events by someone who knows Giovanni very intimately. But obviously I’ve already read it and my interpretation is biased. Nothing about the title guarantees it'll be a first person account. This is just what I mean by evocative; it makes me theorize and read into it...

Now, just Giovanni, like Emma or Carrie or Rebecca, wouldn't work because—and this you find out once you read the novel but the title is already telling you—the room is the main character; it's the metaphor. But I wanted to mention those single name titles just to say I don't like them lol. I get them but I think they don't really work nowadays. A recent example I can think of is Eileen. Crickets, right? Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh. It's a good novel though.

And I also don't like "[Name] [Last Name]" titles very much:  - Anna Karenina  - Jane Eyre  - David Copperfield  - Oliver Twist 

As I said, full names give a sense of distance (imo!), BUT those I mentioned make sense because the novels span the lifetime of the character. Of course the title of a person's life should be their name, and at least it's not something like The Unbelievable Life of David Copperfield, which would be so silly. I think full name titles had their time too. Just Evelyn Hugo would be crickets but it doesn't mean its original title is any better lol 

Giovanni's Room is perfect because I think "[Name]’s [Noun]" is a good title formula: - Charlotte’s Web - Ender’s Game - Sophie’s Choice

Adding an adjective to any of these would truly fuck them up. Imagine if it was Giovanni's Mysterious Room… flop! It was already mysterious. Or Giovanni's Peculiar Room, also a flop and an awful sounding adjective. 

You have to be very particular about the adjective to make "[Name]’s [Adjective] [Noun]" work.

Howl's Moving Castle is a perfect example of a good one because it could have been something like Howl's Magical Castle, right? But that sounds basic. The chosen adjective, Moving, couldn't be more perfect.

The other title I mentioned in my post is The Bell Jar. Just picture a bell jar; something so delicate that can trap or protect or display or contain. You can already tell the metaphor game is going to be strong. Also, its formula is my favorite ever: "The [Noun]": - The Trial - The Metamorphosis - The Waves - The Tunnel  - The Goldfinch

This formula is serious business for me. I think it's perfect. Short and so sure of itself. They demand to be taken seriously. I see them and I feel reassured that the author is confident and clear about their work. 

"The [Adjective] [Noun]" is good too but it really has to need that adjective:  - The Virgin Suicides  - The Savage Detectives

I love "[Adjective] [Noun]" — Short yet compelling. Just two words so you can have them tattooed on the back of you ankles or something: - White Teeth  - Wuthering Heights - Sharp Objects - Invisible Monsters (Chuck Palahnuik’s titles are always a hit with me. Short and straightforward; they come across as very cool and crude, Fight Club, Choke, Snuff, and then he delivers cool and crude. The 3 titles below are by authors with a similar vibe to Palahnuik, and look at those titles… chef's kiss) - Exquisite Corpse  - American Psycho - Mysterious Skin

I also love "[Noun] and [Noun]" — To contrast, to compare, to complement each other, whatever it is it's always a hit. The alliteration in both Jane Austen's titles is more poetic than whatever long wordy title you can think of: - Pride and Prejudice  - Sense and Sensibility - War and Peace  - Sons and Lovers - Crime and Punishment 

❌ Now, the ones I consider flops no matter what. The long “creative” ones that come across as eager and insecure and make me roll my eyes.

Anything that tries to sound like The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Also these wretched formulas:

"The [Adjective] [Noun] of [Fuckass Name + Last Name]": - The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry - The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August  - The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender (Two adjectives! Get out of here!)

"A [Noun] of [Noun] and [Noun]": - A Song of Ice and Fire - A Court of Thorns and Roses - A Book of Spirits and Thieves

"The [Person’s Job/Occupation] [Relative]" — The relative is usually a wife or a daughter: - The Surgeon's Daughter - The Time Traveler's Wife  - The Zookeeper's Wife - The Shopkeeper's Daughter

"All The + [Some Bullshit]": - All the Bright Places  - All the Light We Cannot See - All the Dangerous Things - All the Colors of the Dark

"Where the + [Some Bullshit]": - Where the Crawdads Sing - Where the Red Fern Grows - Where the Dead Sit Talking

"This Is How + [Some Bullshit]": - This Is How You Lose the Time War - This Is How It Always Is - This is How You Lose Her

"We Are All + [Some Bullshit]": - We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves - We Are All the Same in the Dark - We Are All Birds of Uganda - We Are All Made of Molecules

I also don't vibe with titles that instruct you to do something: - Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone  - Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead (good novel though!) - Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters - Go Tell It on the Mountain (adding one by the author of my beloved Giovanni's Room so you know I'm serious about this lol)

💌 To finish my rant on a more positive note, there are always exceptions, and I do like some poetic titles: - Tender Is the Night

One of my favorites and I haven't read it, I just like how it sounds. That would be "[Adjective] is the [Noun]". I don't know if there are more like this. I like that it's taken from a poem but it's not too wordy. 

And the following are all by John Steinbeck. His title game was insane! And they are all references, which shows it can be done with grace and measure: - East of Eden — biblical reference - The Grapes of Wrath — lyrics from hymn which references a bible passage - In Dubious Battle — from Paradise Lost - Of Mice and Men — this one could go in the [Noun] and [Noun] category but the preposition adds a little something imo, and it's also taken from a poem by Robert Burns.

Anyway, I hope this wasn't a bore! 💌

[fccloveii]

Eren Jeager's Masterlist

🗝!! ✧✦. (¡¡Non of the works archieved here are mine!!)

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Hello!! I hope that everyone who read this are doing great!!

Today I decided to post a masterlist of all my favorite eren jaeger fanfics/one-shots I have ever read. I'm mostly doing this because I felt like some of this masterpieces deserved much more attention, moreover I realize that most of the writing under eren's hashtag were about smut, degradation, eren being toxic, etc. And it was getting quite tiring. Therefore I figured I could make my own masterlist and share to the world my amazing findings.

You’re free to comment recommendations if you have any too!! (not but fr I have read everything and I need more 🥲)

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• THIRTEEN by emefaerie (wattpad and ao3)

By far the best fanfic I have ever read. Not only because of the plot (which is amazing, the author is a genius) but the writing is to die for and the characters are soo well written. Everything about this book is perfect!! It covers from childhood friends to lovers, to enemies to lovers, to strangers to lovers and is just amazing!! And the way that the main 2 ache for eachother leaves with nothing but to wish that a love like that finds you.

• COMRADES by emefaerie (wattpad and ao3)

I love this author so much you guys have no idea, this was my favorite story for soo long. Like I said the writing is from another world. Emotions are so well descripted and the way that the author managed to fit the reader in such a complete way in the original plot from the anime is literally perfect. The relationship of the main 2 is such a roller coaster of emotion that you never stop to want more. Emefaerie never dissapoints.

• To love a liar by butterflytint (wattpad)

Kind of reminds me of parasite but is also so different at the same time. The writing is also spectacular and the emotions are so well descripted. The hurt/comfort in here is literally perfect and the slowburn is amazing.

• For you by simp4eren (wattpad)

Soo so good!! The slowburn is also amazing and the topics are also described perfectly. This one was like my second favorite fanfic of eren, literally perfect!!

• CAMGIRL by D1CKTATED (wattpad)

Sadly is not yet finished and the chapters are pretty short but the build up is exciting!! The relationship between the main characters is really interesting too and the plot leaves you wanting more.

• method acting by @seeingivy (tumblr and ao3)

Also a childhood friends to lovers (I'm a sucker for those). Perfect way to write emotions and her eren is literally one of my favorite one. The plot is soo good and jealousy is everything in this fic. Describes everything that happens in the acting industry so well that you feel like you’re in it. Soo so good!!

• Just a friendly kiss by princess_okkotsu (ao3)

Fluff, fluff and fluff. This one-shot heals every angst of all the books before mentioned. Is short but is worth reading. And is perfect because is a best friends to lovers (my favorite trope tbh)

• Easy, baby by prettyboykatsuki (ao3)

Childhood friends to lovers in all its glory (also a one-shot). So well written and the tension is just ughhh. I just wish he was real.

• Hate you too. by Kuro_no_Ai_Hime (ao3)

Enemies to lovers!! Mostly a two-shot centered in smut but the plot is also really good. The tension between the two is also to die for. I also love this one because is not a modern au and it happens during the scouts, and those are my favorite type of fanfic. (Can you believe that this was published before season 2 and 3 like omg)

• Serendipity by aspynxcea (ao3)

What a book, holy shit. The slowburn is perfect and it kind of like a “she felt first, he felt harder” but also a enemies to lovers. Emotions here are also pretty well written and the drama fits really well into the plot. Love this book!!

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Hope you all send love to this amazing authors and if you have any recommendation please let me know!! (Preferably a childhood/best friends to lovers)

🤍.

[sgtpeppers]

Paul McCartney & Comic Books

Paul & Marvel:

Magneto, Titanium Man, and Crimson Dynamo art shown during live performances of Magneto and Titanium Man.

Yes, that’s about Marvel Comics. When we were on holiday in Jamaica, we’d go into the supermarket every Saturday, when they got a new stock of comics in. I didn’t use to read comics from eleven onwards, I thought I’d grown out of them, but I came back to them a couple of years ago. The drawings are great. I think you’ll find that in twenty years time some of the guys drawing them were little Picassos. I think it’s very clever how they do it. I love the names, I love the whole comic book thing.

Paul McCartney In His Own Words, Paul Gambaccini

In 1975, around the time I wrote ‘Magneto And Titanium Man’, I was reading and looking at a lot of comic books, and as far as I was concerned, that was real art. It took some skill – not to mention perspective and imagination – to pull off these illustrations. So, I decided it would be nice to bring these two comic book characters into a song. Magneto is the archrival of the X-Men. Michael Fassbender has been playing him in the recent Marvel films. Titanium Man is one of Iron Man’s enemies. And the Crimson Dynamo turns up as well; he’s a bad guy too. So we have three baddies, and I made up a story that could have been in one of these comic books.

The Lyrics, Paul McCartney & Paul Muldoon

So this song is my nod to comic books being high art.

The Lyrics, Paul McCartney & Paul Muldoon

Left: Linda McCartney in a Magneto shirt. Right: Paul McCartney in a Titanium Man shirt.

The McCartneys meeting comic book artist and Magneto's co-creator, Jack Kirby, backstage at a 1976 Wings show in LA.

Original art by Jack Kirby, depicting the band fleeing Magneto.

Incredible Hulk Vol 1 271: Now Somewhere in the Black Holes of Sirius Major There Lived a Young Boy Name of Rocket Raccoon! (1982)

‘Rocky Raccoon’ is quirky, very me. I like talking blues so I started off like that, then I did my tongue-in-cheek parody of a western and threw in some amusing lines. I just tried to keep it amusing, really; it’s me writing a play, a little one-act play giving them most of the dialogue. Rocky Raccoon is the main character, then there’s the girl whose real name was Magill, who called herself Lil, but she was known as Nancy.

Many Years from Now, Barry Miles

Paul & The Dandy

Paul McCartney in The Dandy (2012)

Text reads:

Dear Dandy, The Dandy was a favourite comic of mine when growing up in Liverpool and each week I would look forward to the exploits of Desperate Dan and his other comic book colleagues. I feel a little sadness that I see its final issue is appearing in December. In 1963, in the NME, when asked what my personal ambition was, I replied – to have my picture in The Dandy! I hope it’s not too late! Thank you, Dandy, we loved ya!

Paul & DC

Superman comics featured on the organ Paul plays in Help! (1965) (x)

Batman and Superman: World’s Finest (2022) featuring Paul McCartney.

[homunculus-argument]

I've got a book draft project that I call Book I Am Not Working On that I probably haven't touched for like four years now. I originally wrote the first draft of the first book like 10 years ago, didn't like the ending, and decided to write a Next Generation Reboot with the previous cast's offspring and niblings as the main characters. Skipping the world ahead 20 years, and having the new protagonists be Standard Fantasy Book Protagonist Aged, in their late teens and early 20s, they learn about the past book's events in glimpses, as almost mythical legends.

The new story's main protagonist is the niece of a character I originally wrote into the first book as a gag - a naive Farmboy Hero. In this one he's taken up the role of a Grim Mysterous Mentor, who tags along on the protagonist's misguided quest because he knows that he can't stop her, so the best he can do is help. And he mentions that there is this wise man that he used to know in his youth, who lived in this specific city - he is wise in the ways of the world, and if he is still alive, he should be able to help them.

The protagonist agrees to go find the man, and for the first quarter of the book, this Wise Man that Old Uncle Hiram Knew In His Youth is this grand and surely legendary Wonderful Wizard of Oz kind of a figure, who is surely all-powerful and could fix anything. After all, old uncle Hiram would trust him with his life, and uncle Hiram doesn't trust anybody.

And then they finally make it to The City, and find The Old Friend. Who is a completely normal-looking middle-aged guy in an apron, kind of fat and slightly balding, busy with five kids and a grandbaby. And he's just as surprised to see the protagonist and her uncle at his door.

So the protagonist's uncle and his friend retire into a more quiet room to discuss the problem at hand while the protagonist and the friend's eldest daughter head out to find new, additional problms, fully trusting that these Adultier Adults will know what to do.

Meanwhile, the two old friends sit down, and the Old Friend looks at the protagonist's uncle, just going "dude for fuck's sake. Twenty years and you haven't changed at all. All these years I thought you were dead and then you show up at my doorstep, plop a felony level problem on my lap like 'hey lol this wasn't even my problem before I decided to get involved, pls help lol' and expect me to fix it."

And Old Uncle Hiram, who in fact is only in his early 40s and suddenly doesn't seem all that old and wise at all, just shrugs like "yeah I kinda gambled my life (and my niece's life btw) on hoping that you wouldn't have changed at all, either. That you would agree to help us, while calling me a fucking idiot the whole time."

And the old friend goes "yeah no shit of course I'll fucking help. You fucking idiot."

[wisteria-lodge]

Gender and Harry Potter is such a hydra that just keeps revealing more heads the more you try and chop through it. Case in point: Today I just realized Harry Potter might've been originally intended as a book for boys, which if it was *wow*, way to miss the mark Joanne. Do you think it was actually intended for a male audience? To me it kinda makes sense if it was because of the way most women and girls are portrayed in it.

Bloomsbury Publishing definitely requested that JK Rowling publish with her (gender neutral) initials instead of 'Joanne Rowling' because they were concerned boys would not buy a book with a woman's name on the cover.

My guess is that her British publishers slotted it more firmly under 'boy' than her American publishers did. Harry Potter is 100% a school story, a super established British children's book genre. Historically, there are boy school stories (set in all-male posh public schools) and girl school stories (set in all-female posh public schools.) Hogwarts is of course co-ed, but that fact that it comes out of a literary tradition in which all the characters are the same gender... might help explain why in-universe gender politics seem remarkably absent from the wizarding world.

It actually kind of bugs me, when a canon-compliant fic makes a big deal about male-only inheritance or something, because that's just not something we see. There's one line about "Black family tradition" saying that the house goes to the next oldest guy, but since Dumbledore is worried that *Bellatrix* is about to inherit, it clearly isn't that important.

JKR has made a fantasy society where gender doesn't really matter - Augusta Longbottom and Walburga Black are clearly the powerful matriarchs of their respective families, Maxime and McGonagall are headmistresses, no problem. There isn't the boys quidditch team vs girl's quidditch team, the locker rooms and the prefects bathroom seem to be co-ed, "robes" are gender neutral, there isn't a sense that a specific discipline or type of magic is gendered (we see both male and female Transfiguration, Care of Magical creatures, and Defense Against the Dark arts professors...) There is kind of a sense that the boys are supposed to ask the girls to the yule ball... but multiple girls still ask out Harry. Gender comes up a lot in these books yes, but not so much in the actual worldbuilding. We have gendered bathrooms and dorms, and the rule that the girls can go into the boy's dormitory, but not vice-versa. Ron considers lace a girly fabric. Of the top of my head, that's all of the "gendered" rules I can think of.

But, since the main character is a boy, it makes sense that her British publishers would slot it more into the category of "school story (boy)" and market accordingly. I think it's extremely likely that she was asked to lean more heavily into quidditch, an aspect of the world building that JKR is clearly not interested in. She's said multiple times that she dislikes writing quidditch games - which is why she throws in comedy with the commentary, or makes some magical thing go down, or finds ways to cancel quidditch entirely. The mechanics and tension of the game *itself* are not interesting to her. I think it's also possible this is a reason for Hermione's relatively late intro into the friend group during Book 1? Harry can be friends with a girl, but first we need to establish that Ron is his *best* friend.

But then the books hit America, and the whole "school story" thing didn't read as "boy" as much as it just read "British." There was a sense in American advertising, especially in the 90s, that girl's products were for girls, but boy's products were for everyone. Scholastic Publishing seemed less interested in gendering the book, and more interested in making sure it didn't come off as too high-brow to American children - so we get the name change from "Philosopher's Stone" to "Sorcerer's Stone," things like that.

But then right before the publication of Book 4 the series exploded, and JKR could have just self-published the thing if her publishers didn't behave. So I think that you can see the fingerprints of that marketing push on Book 1, which grandfathered in a number of worldbuilding choices that JKR maybe wouldn't have made later. But pretty quickly it just became JKR doing her thing.

[aliciavance4228]

Reading Crown of Serpents so you don't have to *sighs*

Chapter One

This book is written at the third person from different points of view. In the first chapter we get introduced to Agapetos (Seriously?!) who is a member of a captain' crew. Apparently these men are acting like middle grade bullies to the point where their captain gave up playing the teacher intervening in their disputes. Fortunately our Agapetos is a massive greek without the r, so he hasn't left anyone with a missing eye nor a broken leg yet. 👍 He's also poor, so he decided to go on this dangerous mission for his sister despite of barely having any warrior skills in order pay her dowry. Him and another guy named Damon Salvatore try to catch Medusa, but she is introduced like some sort of an anime ultimate villain who kills the shit out of them two along with some other dozens of men.

Chapter Two

We get to see a conversation between Perseus with his mother before being sent to kill Medusa and oh, well...

First of all: this is the most american portrayal of a balkan family conflict I've ever seen and Danaë is depicted as this over-emotional western mom with no backbone. I'm wondering how did she manage to hide Perseus for four years in that one tower/bronze chamber if the author views her as this incompetent woman. Also, Perseus is supposed to be a Mama's Boy yet he thinks of his mother as thick-headed. In a more realistic situation Perseus would've been beaten with the slipper already.

Perseus suspects that Polydectes holds the members of the families who don't pay him regularly in some sort of a sado-maso dungeon, and the reason why Perseus and Danaë don't have the money this time is because Danaë was beaten and robbed by bandits while her son was fishing outside. I wish I was jocking. Now, I don't want to offend anyone, but in my experience this is the average reaction of a balkan woman when you enter her house uninvited:

Dictys is here as well and acting as the father-figure for Perseus he never had since Zeus went out to get the milk. But his wife died in childbirth, so no Clymene or cute old couple around. BOOOO! Danaë avoided telling Perseus who is his real father, but found no problem in explaining to him how he was conceived, because this was of coursly more understandable. Perseus hates Acrisius and wants to kill him just like any other edgy BookTok male main character.

Perseus enters Polydectes' palace, and I cannot help but think about this:

"Unless his best friend Kleos, he had no desire to be a hero." No shit dude, almost no hero from Greek Mythology achieved their greatest deeds with the intention of becoming heroes. Also, besides Cadmus there weren't really too many heroes around anyway. Also also, if your best friend's name is Glory and one of your crew members is called Beloved then I suggest you finding partnership in people who don't feel like imaginary friends whom you chose the names for in the last second.

Perseus is directly summoned by Polydectes in his sado-maso chamber to have a private discussion with him, and I quess this was the moment when Polydectes tells Perseus that he will pay generosly the person who will manage to kill Medusa. He doesn't trick him nor requests her head as a wedding gift, but simply convinces him to do that due to the fact that dude was too broken to pay his taxes and he would've asked for his mother's kant as a substitute for them otherwise. At this point Polydectes is just a 2D cartoonish villain instead of an actual menace to this family. Boring!

Chapter Three

Medusa's POV:

Respectfully woman, you're the daughter of two sea deities. This is what happens when you turn Poseidon into a rapist instead of letting him be the OG Monsterfucker who would do anything to get the medussy. At this point a Poseidon×Medusa retelling could've actually been something revolutionary.

She was Athena’s priestess in the past. Nothing original or new or accurate here. "Reduced to a monster with scaled skin [still has an Angelina Jolie face], praying the mortals was the only was she could repay the gods for what they have done to her." Translation: Monsters still have to be conventionally attractive in order to receive any ounce of basic human empathy, and a woman cannot hunt men for sport unless she has a tragic background story, not because she's evil and bored. "Oh look, this conventionally attractive woman has snakes in her hair and scales?! Hahaha, she's so ugly! Hahaha, she looks like a lesbian!" She also has no sisters, because of fricking course!

Medusa pretends to be a helpless woman about to get drown in order to fool the crew of a ship and "rescue her" (aaand eventually plan to take advantage of her...), when this was in fact her entire plan this whole time. If those men wouldn't have collectively shared one braincell together then this is what could've happened: The End

But nope! There are still 57 more chapter to dissect here. *sighs*

Just in case you needed more confirmation that the author was a coward. The men on the ship are portrayed as complete brutes in this chapter, and the captain has to call her a bitch in order to show that he's a product of the Patriarchy who views women as nothing more but objects for sex. Eventually our slay queen Medusa kills all of them flawlessly like any generic girlboss.

Chapter Four

Okay, so in this chapter Perseus finally talks to Polydectes, and... Yup, he's actually a 2D cartoonish villain! Oh, and do you remember Glory, AKA Perseus' OC friend? His father is rich af, yet this guy never considered nor bothered giving Perseus his money for one reason or another in order to help him. Shitty bastard!

Apparently Polydectes already has a bunch of women and wants Danaë to be part of his Harem as well. Dude doesn't even try to be subtle about it:

By the way, do you guys know what does this reminds me of?

No fake wedding, no real wedding, no trickstery, not trying to gain Perseus' trust before betraying him, just straight-up "Your mom." But what makes this chapter truly dumb is that Perseus offers himself to hunt Medusa and gave her head to the king, despite the fact that this man didn't even proposed that to him in the first place.

Oh, and he also gives him a crew and a ship, despite the fact that Perseus initially refused his offer 'cause he's a real man n' stuff, you know? At this point you make the OG mythological Perseus look like a genius.

Chapter Five

Remember Agapetos? Now we're meeting his sister, Chrysanthe, who sees her brother's corpse in what is supposed to be a dramatic scene. For now I can tell that she's quite an unpredictable character. At the beginning of the chapter it is mentioned that she would sell her body to the fishermen from the area just so that her brother could have money, and now she wants to kill Medusa for what she did to him. Not gonna lie, I'm actually more invested in the story of this OC character, rather than the romance between Perseus and Medusa (🤢🤮).

Chapter Six

I beg the author to stop portraying Danaë as an incompetent human being for once. Cooking isn't a feminine nor a masculine thing, it's a basic surviving skill.

"Dictys was stubborn as a mule — a trait that probably ran in the family, even though they weren't technically related." You two are literally cousins via your fathers, lmao!

Unfortunately, we will never find the answer because the writer killed Clymene off-screen instead of giving Perseus a grandma.

Perseus tells Dictys that he decided to slay Medusa, to which the man logically points out that nobody managed to kill her and that he's an idiot for that. Apparently Danaë is too busy with cooking, so she is only mentioned in this very relevant key-moment from the novel. I swear, being Perseus' mother is this woman's entire personality!

Eh, at least we got this cute fragment. I can't believe that but the author actually cooked with these lines:

Chapter Seven

Athena is currently held accountable by Zeus, on the grounds that because of her a dangerous monster became a menace to a whole ass island. I'm sorry but... why would Zeus care so much about it? Dude would literally allow his wife to destroy Troy later despite of being his favourite city.

Did you know that Athena is actually dumb and useless whereas Medusa is the ultimate slay queen girlboss? Now you know!

Athena now tries to justify her decision, and Aphrodite of coursly cannot help but think of the dick since she's the goddess of sex. Also, pretty much every greek god has exactly one personality trait; this is a Percy Jackson fanfiction. Apparently Athena considers that Medusa's existence will eventually lead to the rise of a new hero and that's why she cursed her in the first place. Now this is one hell of an insufferable older sister!

Chapter Eight

Now we have to learn more about Perseus' OC friend who will accompany him throughout his journey instead of giving him money from the beginning, Yay!

"Adamantios was among the wealthiest men in Seriphos, and Kleos was his only son and heir, much to his father’s disappointment."

Understandable.

"Kleos, however, was a restless spirit and would never sit still during his lessons, be it algebra or philosophy. He squandered his allowance on wine, women, and gambling..."

Let's see if I got this correctly: he's uneducated, a drunkard, a manwhore and wastes his money on slots. Also, friendly reminder that this is supposed to be Andromeda's future boyfriend, yet people are still deranged when they find out that Perseus married her the moment he rescued her and claim that he only views her as a prize.

Perseus meets his crew, and it's quite frustrating knowing that all these men are following him purely because they were payed by Polydectes to do so, and they mutually hate Perseus knowing that they risk to die because of him. I can't believe that I have to say this but Ovid did an infinitely better job at giving Perseus a bunch of friends who willingly fought and died for him.

Kleos paused on the doorstep. “There is one thing I don’t understand, Perseus. You always said you didn’t want to be a hero. You’ve only laughed when I fantasised about the monsters we could slay together, the battles we could win… so, why did you tell Polydectes you’d kill the gorgon?” Perseus frowned, not understanding what his friend was getting at. “To settle my debt…” “But there would have been other ways to pay for the tithe. Why didn’t you come to me? I would have gladly given you the money."

This is the exact same shit I'm constantly talking about in this post, ARRRGHHH! Anyway, the reason why Perseus never asked him for money is because he fears that his rich ass father might disown him for that, and he cares too much about his best friend and has dignity uWu- BITCH! Can you even afford dignity considering how poor you are?!

So far Perseus' motivations barely make any sense.

Chapter Nine

Medusa visits the city disguised and enters a tavern. During this time she's thinking about her former life as a priestess (Ugh!), how she was punished by the gods (Bleh!) and how now she's a lonely and hated monster (Still has an Angelina Jolie face...). Inside that tavern a bunch of drunk men assault the barmaid and intend to rape her, but our slay queen Medusa kills all of them.

By the way, how is it that every single man Medusa encounters happens to be a piece of shit, whereas every single woman she encounters happens to be a Rape/SA victim in one way or another? It doesn't happen once or twice, but every single fucking time. Also, the idea of a mythological figure hunting rapists in the Bronze Age is... questionable at best.

Chapter Ten

The ship crew call Perseus "Sir". This is an english formal adress that derives from french and was first documented in 1297. So about 2600 years after Perseus' times.

Athena appears all of the sudden in front of Perseus and tells him that he's the son of Zeus:

"Perseus almost laughed at Athena. The goddess had descended to assist him in becoming a testament to Olympian might. It took all his willpower not to curse Zeus’s name — his father’s name. He was the offspring of the king of the gods, the most powerful being in existence. Perseus’s stomach churned. That explained the electric fire that coursed through him in moments of unbridled rage."

Wait, are you going to tell me that Perseus has super powers now like the demigods from Percy Jackson and that you weren't just using the exact same metaphor in order to describe his emotions this entire time? Booooooooooo...

Anyway, Athena gives Perseus the magical weapons he needs in order to slay Medusa, then leaves. You would think that this would be a way more emotional moment given the fact that Perseus is supposed to meet his half-siblings, but Athena pulls out this Archangel Gabriel persona and tells Perseus that his father is Zeus and expects him to have an "Okay!" type of reaction in the same way Gabriel told Mary that she'll become the mother of Jesus. Hermes doesn't even show off, so Athena gave to Perseus the sandals in his place:

“Finally, Hermes borrows you his winged sandals, swift as the wind, to escape Medusa’s wrath. Use these wisely, and victory is yours. Hesitate, and tragedy awaits.” *doesn't bother to explain to him what strategy he should use in the first place and leaves*

This chapter has only four pages, by the way. You would believe that such a significant moment deserves more attention, but NOPE!

Honestly guys, I'm getting tired at this point and I haven't even reached the worst parts. So let me know if you want me to continue this journey and tell you guys what happens in the future reblogs! 👍

[listranz]

Jim Lake should remain a troll

Jim may seem like a "reluctant hero": he's an ordinary man who suddenly learns he's the chosen one and must now become a true hero. However, it is important to remember that Jim originally dreamed of adventure, something unusual, magical, incredible and unlike the typical gray reality; he literally tells Toby about this in almost their first dialogue!

Jim Lake is a loser. He is far from the most popular and successful at school, he has problems in his family and has almost no friends. If we consider the precursor to Trollhunters as a partial canon – I'm talking about the novella written by Guillermo del Toro and Daniel Kraus – then we can get a full picture of the wretchedness, narrow-mindedness and melancholy of the protagonist's life. Who, despite all the hardships, unlike his book counterpart, still does not lose heart and diligently tries to fit into his environment, to integrate into it: here I especially want to highlight his care for his mother; that he really replaces her as a parent figure and tries to understand her, and not hold a grudge against her for his defective childhood. Jim is a kind, responsible and smart guy who still can't live an ordinary life. He can't just blend in with the crowd and not stand out. He tries to meet the demands of the world, tries to adopt its rhythm, but to no avail. Internally, this crisis shows us that the main character is not really happy with his life and does not want to accept it.

The amulet, or rather Merlin, chooses Jim as a Trollhunter. He has new complications, responsibilities, problems and, of course, adventures. Now Jim has a much harder time balancing on the edge of "normality" in everyday life without arousing suspicion. The hero's internal conflict grows when a crack appears in his attempts to correspond.

Although with all this we can't say that the hero doesn't like his new fate. Yes, at first he can't cope with it, the doubts are too great and the burden of responsibility is pressing, but how many opportunities does it open up?.. no matter how much shit and troubles the title of Trollhunter brings, Jim is definitely happy with it and proud of it.

Fate plays a double game with Jim, which inevitably leads him to the main choice: either one or the other. While he is successful as a hunter, he inevitably loses as a human, and vice versa. Sooner or later he will have to make a final decision.

The fact that the amulet chose a human is unique. But it is a mistake to think that Jim's transformation into a troll deprived him of this uniqueness. Merlin made a human Trollhunter not because of his species, but because of his inner qualities.

Jim is magnanimous and he has a big golden heart; that's what made him special, that's what was considered "human" about him. As a trollhunter, Jim is too honest, too kind, too sensitive... oh my gosh, Jim was different from other trollhunters by his soul and character, not by his appearance! That's why Jim always remains Jim; whether he is half-troll or not, it doesn't change anything "inside".

Jim's transformation into a troll was necessary for the plot, both internally—Jim fully accepts his destiny as a Trollhunter—and externally: as a human, Jim has no advantage. He's weak, vulnerable, and fragile. As a troll, Jim has a ton of new powers and abilities; he'll finally be able to fight powerful enemies for real.

The story began with a child whose destiny was to become a Trollhunter, therefore, his transformation into a half-troll was inevitable. This step represents Jim's acceptance of himself; his full emergence as a Trollhunter. His final choice. Jim's transformation into a troll isn't just a nice-to-have option, a superpower, or a buff. No, it's a crucial and necessary step in the development of the story and character.

So for me, half troll Jim will be canon. Will be what makes him a good and structurally complex hero.

Well, and I'm not even talking about the fact that this would simply be a logical outcome of events, which would give way to further adventures and their development. Well, and about the fact that the canon itself spoke about the irreversibility of this choice.

[sunderedstar]

good books of 2024

according to meeee.

there is no order here, at least one of these was published ages ago, I'm just working my way through my 2024 timeline, godspeed spiderman. 🫡

Metal from Heaven

surprise hit of 2024. top of the charts. stunning, spectacular. gorgeous. Metal from Heaven FUCKS. almost every single main character is an explicit spicy toxic hot mess of a lesbian committing literal highway/train robbery, the bad guy is literally named Industry, leading to such peak sentences as "I am going to kill Industry." the prose is synesthetic in a way that most writers cannot sustain for a full novel but which here culminates in a moment of pure blissful Neon Genesis Evangelion that I will not elaborate on due to spoilers. the author pulls out the FUNNIEST lines, and also the most abrupt and heartbreaking tragedies. we're not here to be subtle, we're here to put the pedal to the metal until the engine explodes. such a damning, whip smart condemnation of industry, capitalism, power. all in the form of Lesbians. also the phrase 'clown orgy' is mentioned. this shit is like gideon the ninth with CRUNCH. NSFW.

but don't take my word for it. take amal el-mohtar's.

Absolution

Absolution is a hard book. requires thought and rigor at all times to absorb what's going on - and also a reread of the entire trilogy beforehand, because there's time travel nuance involved, which makes it next to impossible to sum up the plot coherently on its own without spoiling things. jeff vandermeer described it partially as 'fuck that alligator from the movie' and - valid. the first 60% had me; the later section...swapped gears drastically, which meant it took a while to hit its stride (aka until it reached Area X again). in hindsight I was just not prepared for one of the POVs to be the Freudian, violently stoned, unreliable narrator love-child of Karkat and Dave Strider whose perception/conception of the heart of the Southern Reach is extremely phallic. and then suddenly cannibalism happens. I liked Annihilation and Acceptance better, but damn. it almost feels like this should be the set up to another trilogy. much 2 think about.

Yield Under Great Persuasion

I don't know why I didn't hear anything about this one before it came out! (instead, I only saw posts about rowland's other book released this year, running close to the wind - which sadly did not hit for me at all). Yield Under Great Persuasion is just ridiculous enough to be fantastic. stubborn little gremlin man, big mad about Pumpkingate years after the original inciting incident that set him at odds with his love interest, attempts to pack his little rucksack and run away from all his self-inflicted gay problems, fails, is forced to deal with said personal problems by direct goddess-intervention. you know it's gonna be good when the guys are hate-banging by page 2. a short, delightful mix of (extremely silly and low-stakes) enemies to lovers and hurt/comfort and working out your emotional and communication issues on page style comfort food. self-indulgent in a fanfic way that is rowland's trademark in a taste of gold and iron (which was also fantastic and probably deserves a reread now.) NSFW.

The Spellshop

between this and yield under great persuasion there's an odd cozy fantasy pairing here. a self-isolated shut-in spellbook librarian who lives for her work escapes the fall of her city and sets up shop back in her old hometown on a severely magic-deprived island. there's some internalized trauma being worked through, against a simply charming backdrop of community and solidarity and magic spells. really. I was. charmed. which is a rare reaction on my part.

The Hunter's Gonna Lay Low

the curveball of the list, The Hunter's Gonna Lay Low is a translated (gay) Korean web novel, and it's the perfect intersection of a decent translator meeting an author who knows what they're doing. notorious tumblr user @spockandawe has a write up of the plot and its major themes here, but in essence it hooked me with its hunter/super-hero meets Pacific Rim setting, its themes of gifted kid burnout and unacknowledged trauma with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and the fact that the author clearly plotted out all of this in advance, with minor details from the opening chapter being extremely plot relevant a hundred chapters later. also, the characters are FUN! the relationship compels me. clownery abounds in all the best ways, while the world-ending stakes are also scarily sky high. its translation is currently incomplete as far as I'm aware, which is literally this story's only downside right now, since you can read it online for free - but so much of the main story is up and translated already that it's hard to imagine how much higher the stakes can go, and I'm dying to know if these two make it through and get the happy ending they deserve. a delicious repast.

Apostles of Mercy

I'm gonna rant here. this is the story of a series that got the redemption arc it deserved.

if you don't know, axiom's end is lindsay ellis's blatant Bayverse Transformers female lead alternate history fic. period. she has openly admitted this. you can easily and clearly pick out the Optimus/Megatron/Starscream expies. and that first book was GOOD. it understood the assignment. loved it.

then...truth of the divine happened. book two of the series. was frankly. god awful. it was like twilight's new moon, where the main character's depression saturates and therefore stagnates the entire narrative, in this case to its detriment. it dragged. the entire appeal of first book of the series is the bond between the main character and her new definitely-not-a-Transformer life partner, and book two managed to both sideline that - the entire point!!! the main thing you're reading it for! the alien time! - and introduce the most skeevy and (for me) unpleasant to read human hetero romance of all time. it was so unpleasant I actually forgot how bad it was.

somehow. somehow. palpatine returned. after I spent three years mourning what could have been. book three saved it. Apostles of Mercy addresses the whole damn skeevy toxic mess that was book two and refocuses on what matters - the alien love interest and a LESBIAN love interest. yes. it's true. once again the sapphics won. we now have a book where the main character is reliving lesbian sex memories as an alien-robot-insect-definitely-not-a-Transformer mindmelds with her so I mean. good job team? her love interest also acquires an alien life partner of her own to expand this into potential alien foursome range? the assignment is once again UNDERSTOOD. in terms of the action scenes, to quote myself while reading it, "I can't believe I'm saying this but you needed to channel far more Bayverse" [for book 2], and doing so for book 3 has produced a work of art. I would say skip book 2 entirely and thank me later, but experiencing how bad the series got at its darkest point is part of what made book 3 such an exhilarating high in comparison. possibly that was the goal all along, impossible to appreciate until now. I just need lindsay ellis to get the contract to write the currently-in-publication-limbo books 4 and 5. because the series deserves it. it only just got good again! NSFWish because I can't remember currently how explicit they got all these months later, forgive me.

The Deep Sky

yume kitasei is new to me, but this book hit some interesting notes as a sci fi debut. it too is about gifted kid burnout and imposter syndrome, funnily enough, in a thoughtful take on the standard sci fi concept of 'a bunch of rigorously trained young adults are sent out into deep space as an ark to save a dying humanity' that actually does discuss how fucked up that is as a concept, both for the kids as they grow up under enormous pressure to win a spot on the mission and for all those people being left behind, in what might just end up being an overhyped waste of resources, since civilization sure is still kicking when they leave. the summary on the book is somewhat misleading - asuka, the main character, doesn't fall under suspicion until wayyyy late in the book, and spends the majority of it in a pseudo-detective role that is absolutely sanctioned by those in charge. she's not 'an immediate suspect' like the book blurb insists. go figure. it didn't knock me out of the park like most of the books above, but it was an engaging little read.

The Bees

a weird one from 2014, picked up on a whim - it's literally about bees! fictionalized bees! with personalities and priesthoods and caste politics and everything! I cried about it to be honest. very plotty, somehow all of it neatly taking place within the Lifecycle of A Bee™️, which takes some real craftsmanship to pull off and make compelling as a narrative. since I'm an unrepentant Raksura fan, I was like 'wow...how Raksura coded...' knowing full well that Raksura are dragon bee people, not the other way around. also the Raksura could never be as toxic (complimentary) as these bees are. 😂 it's just good literature your honor.

honorable mentions:

Heavenly Tyrant

has not come out yet. but let's be real. it's on the list in anticipation. it's what she deserves.

The City in Glass

I love nghi vo's work, have read and adored all of the singing hills cycle novellas. it took a month for my library hold on this book to be available. and then I promptly got distracted by metal from heaven and the hunter's gonna lay low 😂 I will read it!!! the first eight pages were good! vitrine's voice is very good! I've just had a very busy end of the year interrupting my everything. (update: I read two more pages and it immediately and promptly popped off. whoops. guess I'm reading that next. whenever I have free time again...)