#or had miscommunication and made it both the realms problem

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 102

 Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. In for ten seconds, out for eight. Alright. Okay. “Let me get this straight,” he didn’t motion to the three teens- or not teens even if two apparently looked like they were- but it was a close thing. “You-” 

 Phantom perked up, white hair flickering with what he was pretty sure were stars as they turned away from the window looking out into space. “-are two years old.” The fae-esque being who looked more like a fourteen year old gave a half-distracted nod. Which, for a toddler, they were paying attention pretty well. 

 “You-” Klarion looked up from where he was fiddling with the cuffs that had been on him, cat sprawled on his shoulder now that it was out of the carrier. “-are six?” Another distracted nod, the apparently-child seemingly enamored with the sounds the cuffs made when they clinked together. 

  “And you-” He turned towards Marvel, who shrank back before seemingly steeling themself. “-are in fact ten.” The… well they had thought demigod but apparently all three were some sort of realms-being, which had apparently made Constantine pale and start cursing before stomping out of the Watchtower. Another nod and shaky thumbs up. 

 Alright. Okay. They had in fact let a ten-year old join the league, which wouldn’t have been so bad if they had known. Especially the fact that apparently Marvel was only half-human, which suddenly explained so much about how he didn’t know so many things about a human life. Which-

 “You,” he turned towards Phantom again to make sure he was listening before returning his attention to Marvel. “And you have both lived at least a year in the human realm with human companions, but your-” He turned his gaze towards the ravenette in the center. The six year old apparently. “-experience with the human realm is literally just with the Light.” 

 Yet another distracted nod. Okay. Bruce was tempted to scream in a room for the entire situation that had cropped up from the single action of taking Klarion’s familiar and then the boy himself into custody. Then again, it was honestly a much better thing they had apparently caught this. 

 “Alright,” he sighed, suddenly feeling incredibly exhausted. “To make sure I have all of this correct-” Because it was already a shitshow and the amount of shouting had absolutely spooked the child. To the point he’d- according to Marvel- made what was apparently some sort of very distressed noise that had made both him and Phantom running. Or rather flying and portaling. 

 “-in the realms, people there make friends through fighting,” Bruce pauses to make sure he got that part correct. The origin of this entire misunderstanding with the chaos-lord. Lordling? 

 All three nodded, Klarion losing interest in the cuffs and starting to pet his cat. Familiar. Everyone had referred to it as a familiar and Marvel had appeared utterly horrified that they had taken said familiar away. Somehow he was the one the trio were currently trusting and weren’t doing the same towards any of the other league members. 

 “And you have been trying to make friends with the Jr team, which they have been taking as an attack due to this miscommunication.” Honestly they should have gotten more information, though he couldn’t exactly blame any of the teens, what with everything they were currently dealing with. 

 “... is there any sort of guardian or something you might have, that can be contacted? Or anyone that could help prevent a situation like this from happening again?” All three avoided his eyes, suddenly finding things like the table and walls very interesting. 

 Oh. Hm. This could be a problem.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 50 – ENDGAME

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: JenTheSweetie

JenTheSweetie is such a fantastic writer, in so many aspects. Their grasp of each and every one of the Marvel characters is impeccable, I swear I can hear every line of dialogue in their voices. And the way they can just write anything – fluff, smut, angst, and all with the same level of perfection – is super impressive to me. I love their fics so much, and aside from the ones I'm recommending today, you should just go and read their entire AO3 catalogue, because everything on there is amazing.

Here's some of their work that I think you should check out:

4 out of 5 dentists recommend

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 1,994 Tags: Fluff, Miscommunication, Relationship Talks

Summary: Tony noticed the toothbrush on a Wednesday, and that was when everything went to hell.

Reasons why I love it: I love how everyone Tony talks to about the toothbrush is so used to his antics that they have perfected their way of averting a Stark-patented meltdown, it's fantastic. Morgan especially made me smile, she's such a badass. And Steve and Tony's conversation at the end is pure perfection. I love everything about this fic, and I bet you will too!

Another Place

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 30,475 Tags: Falling in Love, Misunderstandings, Canon Divergence

Summary: Tony’s a smart guy, and he’s pretty sure he knows how the story ends.Tony survives the battle with Thanos, deals with fallout, and might be kinda, sorta dating Steve Rogers.

Reasons why I love it: Everything about this fic just blew my mind with how good it is. I love the how and why of this alternate reality, all of the discussions of the socio-political problems after the reverse-blip and seeing what the whole mess with Quentin Beck looks like when Tony is involved. And of course, both Tony's relationship with Pepper falling to pieces and the start of his life with Steve are equally emotional. I love this fic so much, and if you haven't yet, you are definitely missing out!

special dispensation

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 673 Tags: Everybody Lives, Time Travel, Birthdays

Summary: On the one hand, they’d all agreed that the quantum time machine was a dangerous technological advancement, only to be used under the most dire of circumstances. But on the other hand, it was Steve’s birthday.

Reasons why I love it: Oh my god, this is so funny, I can't. Tony would absolutely do that, holy shit, what a genius idea. And the reactions of all the other Avengers are fricking hilarious. This fic is amazing, and you should definitely read it!

And Time Can Do So Much

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Steve/Peggy Rating: M Words: 11,155 Tags: Fix-It, Quantum Realm, Failing Marriage

Summary: "I really shouldn’t be talking to a figment of my imagination,” Steve said. “Sam would be reading me the riot act. I can hear him now. Therapy works wonders, you know.” “Sounds like Wilson,” Tony agreed. “And therapy does work wonders. You might want to look into it, once it becomes a thing in a couple of years.” “I’ll keep that in mind,” Steve said. -- A few years after Steve moved permanently back in time, he started having conversations with Tony again.

Reasons why I love it: Holy shit, this concept is brilliant. I love how it approaches the consequences of Steve time traveling back to the past and the strain that his knowledge of the future puts on his relationship with Peggy. And every single dialogue between Steve and Tony is pure gold, I love it so much. Definitely go and check this one out if you haven't, it's an absolute must-read.

dress code

Pairing: Gen Rating: G Words: 1,301 Tags: Captain America Sam, Uniforms, Fluff and Banter

Summary: Bucky, to absolutely no one’s surprise, had Opinions on Sam’s new outfit. “No,” Bucky said, scrolling through the options. “No. Oh my god, no. Hey, quick question. Are you trying to make bad guys afraid of you or are you hoping they’ll laugh themselves into submission?” “You can go fuck yourself,” Sam said, snatching his laptop back, but the thing was that Sam kind of agreed with him.Sam decides to consult the expert.

Reasons why I love it: This is such a sweet moment, and one I wish we could have gotten in the MCU. I really loved Falcon and the Winter Soldier and how it addressed all the struggles Sam has with accepting the Captain America identity, and I've always wondered what it would've been like if Steve had still been alive while it was going on. This fic is wonderful, and you should definitely read it.

[foxlessgloves]

Love Game in Eastern Fantasy

Okay, so I have a lot of thoughts here. Honestly, I was always a little cautious going into the show, knowing that it could never have the truly happy ending I wanted.

From the start, she wakes up in this magical, fantasy game world, where everything is fun and quirky and chaotic, and she's got a goal. However, in being in the fantasy world, she's no longer in the real one, so eventually she would always have to choose between the life she's built in the fantasy, and her home in reality. So, spoilers, but it's kind of all a dream. I'm personally still in denial and actually they're in an alternate universe were miaomiao and her boy are living happily in their magical universe where they saved the world, and everything is good. There's also the canon alternate universe where yknow she's in the real world and all that jazz. I mean it's nice that they have the chance to meet and be together but. What about the friends they made along the way. I miss them. Granted, I never cared for them as much, but I still miss them.

Okay so in terms of the show itself, ignoring the ending and all of that drama, I loved the characters. The main duo were just so full of life and chaos, that it was truly enjoyable to watch. Like, they're kind of silly but having fun, and it's lovely to watch them develop feelings over the show. That whole love spell arc did NOT get my vote of appreciation though, fr its my least favourite thing about fantasy based romance because it's so out of their control, there's no miscommunication or problems sending them into doing these things, just a spell to be broken and like its fine, but I suppose since it's an impossibility in reality, I tend to struggle with it in fantasy. Similarly, the memory spell plot stressed me out since whilst that one COULD be a thing in reality re memory loss, its less likely and its not something that happens as a malicious act to keep them apart (unless its a really dramatic drama). Though, they are tools that they can absolutely use and they did use them well.

The flow was slightly disrupted for me by the fact I accidentally skipped two episodes and threw myself deep into the resolution episode of a conflict that hadn't happened yet, so I accidentally ended up watching 2 hours of content in a stressed state, just waiting for everything to go wrong like I knew it did, rather than just appreciating it as it went along.

Overall I did genuinely love the show, it's just one where maybe if I had ignored the last 30 seconds or so of the second to last episode, and not watched the final episode, I might have loved it a little more, without having had to deal with the reality required for an actual ending. I could have very happily lived on in ignorance, not thinking about the life and family she'd be abandoning to live in the fantasy realm. Maybe I'm just biased because he's prettier with the long fancy hair, and I really love her hairstyles and outfits so they both feel so boring in reality,,

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Loki does not know how to react to apologies. That time in 2011 when Thor apologized to Loki was literally the only time anyone has ever apologized to him. Every other time people come up with some kind of excuse why they don't have to say sorry. That's the real reason he lethaly bitch slapped Thor. Someone said sorry and he didn't know how to take it.

Being facetious btw, probably

I had to stop and think for a minute to remember what apology you were talking about (I haven't seen Thor 1 in ages!) 😅 I suppose you were referring to this:

But despite how much I love Thor... I refuse to call that an apology. His words are: "Brother, whatever I have done to wrong you, whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am truly sorry." That sounds a lot like the typical stuff someone who has been hurting you non-stop would say "yeah yeah, I'm so sorry for whatever it is that you're upset about, now can we go back to being happy again?".

That kind of talk does a few things: 1) implies both parties are in the same level when that's not true, one has wronged the other (in this case Thor doesn't know what he's done wrong, that's kind of the problem), 2) the wrongdoer doesn't take any responsibility for their actions nor do they acknowledge where they went wrong, which means it's very likely they will act the same way again, 3) the feelings of the wronged party are not part of the equation as they're told to just stop and forget so that the relationship can be what it used to be in the past, therefore the wrongdoer gets away with it with no consequences to pay, the wronged party doesn't have their needs and feelings heard and things go back to how they used to be as if the damage hadn't been done... but the damage doesn't go away just because you act like it never happened.

In Thor and Loki's case I'm not defending Loki sending the Destroyer to New Mexico and basically firing right, left and centre, but there's a huge issue of miscommunication there plus a lot of issues between these two. At this point Thor doesn't know Loki is a Jotun and he's had a huge mental breakdown and his state is all but stable, he just knows he has lied to him about Odin's death, that Loki is on the throne (something Loki himself told him and Thor did NOT doubt at all, I love how easily he takes and accepts it. I didn't lie, I love Thor) and he has sent the Destroyer to Earth.

Now an argument could be made that for him, after spending a few days with the humans, he has gained some form of knowledge about them and he feels love and compassion for them. Loki has not and he treats their lives like the Asgardians have been treating the lives of those who were born in other realms for centuries: as nothing. Again, I may not defend the fact that Loki sent the Destroyer but I can understand it, just like I get why Thor wouldn't like it.

Plus there's the war between Asgard and Jotunheim, you know a simple thing, not really that important. Also, Thor started it so there's that.

This is basically the result of the triangulation started by Odin, the siblings fighting each other over something that's their father's fault.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

If Bella was somehow bitten somehow and woke up alone during New Moon, but the Cullens didn't find her (I don't know if this is still 'Edward mercy kills Bella' territory but if it is then maybe her gift knows this and starts blocking Alice) and she became a nomad, would she still do the diet and if so for how long?

This is shockingly in the realm of possibility and not necessarily in the land of Edward mercy killing Bella.

Though there are some dangers Bella would have to avoid somehow for survival.

Bella is Bitten Alone in New Moon

We have one vampire who meets Bella during New Moon and another who with very little difference in the timeline would have run across her: Laurent and Victoria.

In the case of Laurent, he and Bella have a chat, he decides Bella smells delicious and he'll spare her the pain of being slowly murdered by Victoria, and just as he decides to go for it he gets run down and eaten by giant wolves.

Bella survives her vampire encounter.

In the case of Victoria, she never really gets close enough to do damage until the fight between Edward and Victoria and Riley and Seth in Eclipse.

So we have a few ways this could go:

Laurent's a few seconds ahead of Sam and company. He manages to get a good bite in and doesn't crush Bella on impact. He's run off by the wolves and Bella survives.

The problem here is that Bella has now been bitten and there's no coming back for her. It's a tragedy, and the wolves will feel a shared sense of failure and burden that they failed to save her, but she's dead anyway. They have to kill her before she fully turns.

Bella's gift, while powerful, doesn't appear to help in this kind of situation. Though, that said, in her dire need it could suddenly give her the ability to project illusions like we see in Renesmee. Doesn't seem to be how Bella's gift typically rolls, but hey, this is her darkest hour.

Otherwise, Jake could pull his alpha move much earlier in order to save Bella's life. He ignores Sam's order, flees with the turning Bella, and dumps her in the wilderness somewhere with a note from Jake that she must never return to Forks. She wakes up alone, only guessing though not knowing what Jake has done for her, and stares blankly at the wilderness.

If Victoria catches up to Bella, well, it's not looking good. All too likely, Bella dies painfully, and Victoria leaves a video tape of the entire ordeal in the Cullen house for when they eventually return (as they surely will).

Though, that said, the ease with which Victoria accomplishes this and the complete lack of Cullen intervention could catch her off guard. Perhaps... Edward doesn't actually give a rat's ass. That says terrible things about James' needless death, but Victoria's holding this girl hostage. She will die, in the most painful manner imaginable, and the Cullens aren't there.

Victoria might turn Bella out of pity or else turn her as she figures out, in part from Bella, that Bella becoming a vampire is Edward's worst case scenario. However, in that case, it's unlikely Victoria would abandon Bella, so Bella wouldn't be on her own.

Which, I think for this post, makes Jake's alpha sacrifice the most likely path. He dumps Bella's half-vampire body somewhere in nowhere Canada.

Bella After the Bite

Being dumped in the wilderness helps a lot. For one, Bella already has unbelievable control, for another this is Edward's penguin scenario. There is no one else out here for her to eat even if she wanted to.

So, following the diet is easy.

And it's something she'd very much wish to do. Bella sees the world of vampires divided into two types of vampire: the good Cullen vampires who don't eat people and the bad vampires who, well, eat people.

This left such a mark on Bella that she has very little idea of what a vampire even is.

Bella would be horrified at herself if she became a bad vampire. In wanting vampirism she wanted the vampirsim she sees in the Cullens. Bella might be miserable and alone, without a friend in the world, but she would be horrified to choose anything other than the Cullen way of life.

At least, at first.

The Return of the Cullens

There's a few paths for Bella after she's dumped in the middle of nowhere.

Alice sees that Bella's become a vampire, an abandoned newborn, and is wandering aimlessly around the wilderness somewhere. Even though Edward has forbidden contact, this is probably enough to motivate Alice who was genuinely worried.

She likely goes behind Edward's back and tries to find Bella with Jasper and possibly the rest of the Cullens.

Edward, of course, is still in Rio being a miserable saint for leaving precious human Bella.

Eventually, they manage to find her, and there's a lot of miscommunication, very hurt feelings, and heartfelt apologies even from Rosalie because look what happened to this poor girl. Though they each, either reluctantly or more enthusiastically, agreed to leave this was not what they had in mind.

Bella forgives them quite readily, as she did in canon, because she has the self-esteem of a thimble. The Cullens are awed and very grateful, Rosalie would never have forgiven them for this.

It probably takes them both a) a while to decide how best to tell Edward and break the news to him b) a while to get a hold of Edward because he's ignoring all their phone calls.

Eventually they do, it's a shit show, for the purpose of this post we'll say he does not mercy kill Bella. He might actually be feeling too guilty for that. Instead he grovels on the ground constantly, begging Bella's forgiveness, and refuses to enter a relationship with her because he's unworthy.

This undoubtedly upsets Bella, because she's also unworthy and Edward knows it and doesn't love her, but that's not the point of this meta.

In this world, the Cullens keep Cullening after picking Bella up, Bella's adopted into the fold and made Edward's twin sister due to looking the most like him (which, of course, makes them look actually incestuous in high school to add to the Cullen mystique).

With the support of the Cullens, living the Cullen lifestyle, and having the control that Bella has there's no question of ever leaving the diet.

Bella stays on the wagon.

Bella Seeks Out the Denali

Alice is successful and doesn't see Bella's future for whatever reason. Edward will be so proud. Bella is left alone in Canada to eat moose.

Eventually, Bella decides that however great being a vampire is, she's lonely and miserable. She wants companionship.

Well, obviously the Cullens hate her, so even if she could find them they probably never want to see her again. But what about the Denali?

Bella's already in Canada, she could head over to the Denali National Park in Alaska, and surely the least she could do is actually introduce herself.

Of course, the coven sounds blonde, hot, aggressively female, and very intimidating. Tanya's history of wanting to bang Edward has Bella feeling very small and worthless. More, the Cullens may have told the Denali all about how stupid and ugly Bella, Edward's current human girlfriend, is and they've all laughed at her.

However, Bella's so desperate for companionship, for some connection back to her old life, that she goes for it.

She makes it to Alaska, wanders around until she eventually finds the Denali coven, and introduces herself. The Denali are weird assholes, but Bella's so oblivious she actually doesn't notice.

That said, they've had their brush with the law, and Tanya doesn't want a newborn running around by herself. Eleazar also gives a truly pompous, awful, speech about compassion to their fellow man. It's unbearable, Bella finds it charming.

They take Bella in, she can be the dark-haired sister. Her control is so good the three single ladies quickly take her clubbing and encourage her to sleep away her troubles with human men.

Bella quickly finds that, when you're on the vampire end of the equation, the relationship with human thing is kind of gross. These people smell like food, are squishy and overly warm, and have the substance of tofu.

Bella feels even worse about her relationship with Edward.

She sleeps with human men anyway so that the Denali sisters won't judge her/will think she's cool.

They're so proud of her.

Regardless, Bella stays on the diet as the Denali follow the diet. She will likely have a few accidents with her human lovers, and will be inconsolable, but the coven will be there to offer comfort and help her get back on the wagon.

Bella stays on the wagon

Bella's Low Self-Esteem Wins and She Becomes a Hermit

Bella can't return to Forks and she's so ugly, stupid and boring that even though she's a vampire if she met anyone new they'd realize how ugly, stupid, and boring she is.

Better to just forsake society altogether and live with moose.

Bella's able to do this for quite a long time. Years even. And it's... fine. But her life has no purpose nor any direction to it.

She becomes tempted by society. How many years has it been? Has the world changed since she left? Has Forks changed? Is Charlie still alive? Is Renee? What about her classmates?

Bella starts travelling and visiting human cities and, thanks to her control, she does very well.

However, it's very likely that one day she'll slip, she takes her control far too much for granted and all it takes is one mistake.

And that's where Bella starts getting into trouble.

She's horrified at first, of course, and that likely doesn't break her. She gets back on the wagon, but the second time it happens...

There are no consequences to her breaking the diet. She has no companions, no one cares. Why is she living in constant agony, every single day, for people who will one day die anyway? Why is Bella choosing to suffer?

As time goes on, as humans start to mean less and less to her and all the humans that she knew when human herself are dead, Bella starts forgetting the reason that the diet seemed so vital to her existence.

At one point, it stops meaning anything at all, it's just Bella pointlessly choosing to live in agony.

Bella falls off the wagon.

TL;DR I think it'd take a while, at least ten years, but if she becomes a solitary nomad, it would inevitably happen.

[darkobssessions]

Coping Tips for Autistic Women

I am compiling a list of resources for aspie women along with tips to manage symptoms and navigate the world. Regretably, most of my personal experience comes from living undiagnosed and unaware about this for the last 27 years. There was a giant elephant in the room with everything, and I have only recently worked it out. This means that most of my habits prior to this point were ones attempting to cope with a giant unknown, the limits of which were unclear. But they more or less worked, because, as I am realising, there’s always been something they are attempting to address.

With other diagnoses and ways I attempted to explain and understand my difficulties, there were finite causes and treatments. I should have been improving if I tried x, y, or z. And I did improve my symptoms in many ways, but there was something missing from the picture. That is that autism is my personality, my state of being, how I process and view the world. And no tool, medication, process or treatment was ever going to change who I really was. Being misdiagnosed (or being missed and failing to receive the autism diagnosis) means that I have been trying to correct something that you cant ‘correct’, and shaming myself for something fundamentally me.

Some of the tips I learned over time, from how I am as a person, without the framework of reference of neurodivergence or autism:

Sensory:

My sensitivity has always been a big waving flag. I felt and saw things others didn’t. I felt more deeply. I sensed the microeffects and changes in everything. I responded harder and faster to any chemical, environmental shift, any positive or negative event, As we all do on the spectrum, we attempt to navigate our sensory environment. And we come up with coping mechanisms, good or bad, before or after we realise we are on the spectrum. For me this was a strong aversion to the things that upset me, that disturbed my senses. It was an orienting of myself in a way to avoid the disturbances, going inwards, withdrawing and even shutting down. I learned that I could not and did not want to handle crowds, loud places, supermarkets. I lived in a giant simulation attempting to minimise and avoid as much as possible the things that hurt. I learned that I was extremely sensitive, no one else seemed to be, and I just had to manage it. Since discovering autism in the last weeks, I am able to embrace the fact that sensory overload is a thing, and I really do feel pain in my body when things are too much and too loud, and just wearing earplugs has mitigated so much of this. I was gas lighting myself before about feeling a certain way because there was no explanation, that I was aware of anyway.

Physical:

I have had so many problems over the years, since I was a young girl. I used to get food poisoning symptoms really easily. I had hidden allergies. I remember a lot of my childhood spent doubled up with stomach pains, or having a fever. My family didn’t know any better and fed me and treated me as they did every other member. I was not the same, I did not feel the same, but I took it all in. By the time I was in my early teen years, I had cemented my aversion to certain foods, taken the only control I had at the time against an encroaching and controlling mother and turned it into anorexia. I avoided things I didn’t like, again, and set up a system of control that made more sense than the gaping wounds and confusion within me. Starvation triggered bulimia. And a viscous cycle of malnourishment and dysregulation unfolded. I didn’t learn until many, many years later that my system was so sensitive and damaged that if I tried to go back to how I used to eat as a child, I would get terrible symptoms. So my coping tips as I have healed from the eating disorders and become more aware is to figure out what the triggers are, what hurts, and to avoid it. This along with adding in nutrient dense foods and working on the deficiencies has done wonders for me. I’ve done tremendous work on my autoimmune conditions, gut problems, sensitivities and inflammation levels and the difference is like night and day. That I can induce psychotic symptoms by deviating or introducing foods I am intolerant to is no joke. The tip I can share is elimination diets truly do work, the keto diet is recommended, and eating the carnivorous way saved my life. My eating disorders for almost 15 years INCLUDING the 7.5 years I was a vegan, mostly high raw and fruitarian depleted my nutrients so badly that every symptom was enhanced 100% and I was eating pretty much ONLY food I was actually intolerant to. Ahem, plants, I’m talking to you. The peace I feel, the nourishment and rest on a nervous system level having eliminated them is unreal.

Social:

I have always known I was different, in a deep, visceral way. How the adults in my life answered questions was inadequate. I saw through people and things. I was far too intense and serious. I learned to watch and observe humans and pick up cues so as to attempt to fit in. I spent the majority of my life masking, something I am only now finding out about and unraveling. I kept notes on the human experience, and saved colours, sounds, feelings, because I felt like I couldn’t communicate the truth of myself otherwise. Over the course of my life there have been inexplicable (until now) events. Lost friendships and relationships, strings of broken promises, people not acting on what they say, confusions and miscommunications, and many dangerous situations and predatory bonds. I made what sense I could of it from whatever lens I could find. It was the trauma, it was my soul contract, it was what I deserved, it was being targeted- all close, but not quite within the realm of being so naive, open and fundamentally different as you are on the spectrum. I just always assumed everybody was like me. I had to learn the very extremely hard way that not everyone felt and thought in the same way, nor had good intentions. I still struggle with the fact that humans don’t tell the truth. It is of no relevance whether they secretly know it. Most people are more comfortable with illusions. I always knew this, but the diagnosis gives me a lot more peace around it. It’s allowing me to accept the fact that if I look around the majority of the people I see are not walking around processing and over-analysing everything, feeling sounds, decoding patterns and obsessed with hacking the code of reality. Less pressure that way, and more in the way of what can be viewed as natural interaction on my part. I will solve the mystery of the universe out loud otherwise, and get the blank looks and the discomfort. I have found my people, a tribe of likeminded individuals, I have gathered friends over the years that didn’t run from my weirdness. But I am mostly content to be on my own, knowing that I can only use what is around me to try to convey how I feel and who I really am. And that will probably be a book, a movie or a work of art, much better than a 2pm rendezvous when I can’t stop talking about the hidden signs.

Emotional:

With the intensity of my emotions I have developed borderline personality disorder as a means to cope with being autistic and not knowing. I have been diagnosed with both that and bipolar because I have intense stints of emotions. They come and go in waves, lasting hours, lasting days and weeks. I consider it to be an energy management system to cope with the demands and stressors of modern day living. Creatives always withdraw and hibernate, and come out with new insights and art to share. The way that I feel and view the world is special. It’s at the basis of my writing, what I choose to engage with and how. My emotions make me who I am. I feel intensely, I share passionately about how I feel. I snap, I break, I shutdown, I come out again and I am a bright, shooting star. There is an excited little animal that lives within me and it is the strongest most passionate thing known to man. I thought that my negative experiences or trauma killed it, but this is before I knew it IS me and cannot die. So I have stopped trying to cram these emotions in or explain them. Stopped trying to attribute them to whatever script people were following when they dealt with me. Throwing me into the depressive, anxious, panic stricken, eating disordered basket case category. The missing piece now makes so much sense. The ways I responded to being autistic were coping mechanisms, such as developing a personality disorder, to deal with the pressure. My psyche splintered under the weight. My tip here is in embracing your inner life and world, embracing that you are different, so that all of the mental and emotional acrobatics needed to attempt to explain the issues or fit in can be put to rest.

Spiritual:

Being different and feeling differently means I naturally saw and expressed things in quite a strange way. I was convinced of a secret world to reality, behind reality, living on behind a paper shell, so to speak, that would rip if only I could reach out and tear it aside. That conviction was rewarded as year after year my awareness grew, my gifts multiplied, and the experiences I had revealed to me the hidden hand of god. There was very much design to the universe, a pattern, weaving through all things. And i was a part of it, not some discarded afterthought or simple byproduct that had no place. In the early years, I kept my convictions to myself, nursed them with experience. I died a thousand deaths in dark nights of the soul, crashing against the turf of my ignorance. I broke open, and everything I had been so sure of as a child was revealed to me again and again. I was convinced I had a purpose, I could feel the deep tides of human emotion and motion, could feel into the genetic sequence that had birthed me. I felt like an alien, but that slowly over time the map of my operation was being revealed to me. This is what it feels like so many years later to stand here and find out about being autistic and realise that how I felt in my soul all these years was real, and that I can begin to truly fulfill this mission now, to share my experience in words I know others will understand because they feel the same way too. It was the challenges that I never understood, while the gifts were the reason to stay alive. My message to myself and others now is that there is a point, a reason to persevere and understand yourself more. The suffering reveals so much of the true state of things, so that we can protect our tender hearts and build new things that honour who we really are, our souls. 

Resources, movies, literature to follow. I just wanted to share something of a summary now of my realisations since coming home to myself.

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt79

So again sorry for the plot bunny, I have absolutely no idea where I’m going with it either.

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

AO3   Beginning   Previous   Next

Marinette felt the transformation drop and her mind went completely blank for a moment. She felt Discorde and Viperion hold on to her and ended up with an arm around each while they used their arms like a chair for her. . None of the other heroes noticed since they were still shouting at one another. It took her a moment to notice the new person in front of her.

The woman looked to be in her late twenties and about Chloe’s height. Her hair was black with red highlights. The outfit she wore seemed extremely familiar. The dress was a sort of tiger stripe pattern only with red instead of orange and jagged edges. Her thigh high boots were red until the knees and gray after that. It wasn’t until she saw the pink tulle under the skirt that she realized it was an outfit she’d designed but never made. When the woman stopped glaring at Superman to lock eyes with Marinette she felt her breath catch as she looked into clear blue eyes.

“Tikki?” She felt Discorde and Viperion start in surprise but couldn’t take her eyes off the woman giving her a gentle smile.

“Plagg had his fun, now it’s my turn.”

“I shouldn’t have put the Miracle Box in my Yoyo.” Tikki just grinned at her and Marinette groaned internally. By forcing her to detransform with the box still inside, Tikki was able to tap into the energy from that realm making them much more powerful. Tikki just grinned at her before turning to face the Justice League.

“I think we should have popcorn for this.” Robin’s voice only got an eye roll as she focused on her Kwami. She had no idea what Tikki was up to but the fact that they took human form said it was big.

“That’s enough!” Tikki’s voice was lower than normal and echoed around the room becoming louder until everyone shut up. Then it just stopped. “I find it rather amusing that you’re so hung up on my Chosen’s age when you all insist on acting like children.”

“How dare you--” Tikki snapped their fingers and Superman was cut off by what looked like a metal plate sealing his mouth shut.

“You really need to learn some manners. Now it’s time for you all to listen.” No one spoke and Tikki gave a satisfied smile. “Better. First things first. I want you all to take a good long look at my Chosen and Guardian of the Miraculous.” Marinette felt everyone’s eyes on her and had to fight the urge to make herself smaller. Instead she held her head high while they studied her.

“I still see nothing but an incompetent child.” Tikki snapped her fingers again and Green Lantern met the same fate as Superman.

“If I want your input, I’ll ask for it.” Tikki gave them a bright smile that was honestly a bit creepy. “That child has been protecting Paris almost on her own for two years. During the final confrontation with Hawkmoth that child gave up the ability to walk in order to end his reign of terror. While you’ve all done nothing but make her job more complicated, she’s been working tirelessly to bring down a lunatic. The next one of you that demeans her will feel the full force of Discorde’s wrath and I won’t reverse the damage.”

Quite a few members paled at that threat and Marinette glanced over to see a rather manic smile on her girlfriend’s face. She shuddered at the thought of what she might do. Everyone was completely silent as Tikki let that thought settle.

“Still, you can’t expect us to leave such powerful artifacts in the hands of children.” Tikki narrowed her eyes at Martian Manhunter before offering another fake smile.

“I am a god older than the universe itself. They may be young but we are not.” Marinette could see the hero hesitate and winced when he finally decided to speak.

“Your will is bound to the Miraculous. The children are the ones in charge and should the Miraculous fall into the wrong hands your power becomes a liability.” Tikki studied him for a moment before letting out a sigh.

“You’re all far too concerned with age but I suppose we could fix that if it will make you feel better.” Marinette shared confused looks with her team. How was Tikki planning on fixing them being kids? Most of the League members looked just as confused but Wonder Woman was frowning in thought.

“What exactly do you plan to fix?” The words sounded like they were being dragged out of the hero that seemed to have become their spokesman. Tikki’s smile turned condescending.

“Your problem is with my Chosen’s age, not experience or intelligence as would be at least more appropriate. As such,” they snapped their fingers again and suddenly four more twenty something’s appeared behind her. “I present you with guardians for the Guardian.”

-------------------------------------

Discorde studied the four new people with annoyance. It was her job to protect Mari and these interlopers weren’t wanted. She was a bit confused when she felt Plagg trying to soothe her.

The four of them were all completely different. On either side of Tikki were a man and woman. One man was wearing an all black designer suit. His shirt, tie, and all other accessories were the same shade as well. His hair was even darker somehow. Next to him was a woman in a white sundress and sandals. Her hair was blonde but gave the impression of sunlight. They were both the same height as Tikki. Both also had one green eye and one brown, but on opposite sides.

On Tikki’s other side was a man at least seven foot tall. He was wearing brown khakis and a blue, short sleeve button up. Both looked starched and pressed to perfection. His brown hair was buzzed on the sides and he gave off a decidedly special forces vibe. His arm rested on the head of the woman next to him who couldn’t be more than five foot tall. She was in full steampunk gear. For their eyes each had one vibrant blue and one gray that reminded Discorde of storm clouds. Again on opposite sides. The longer her gaze rested on the short woman the louder Plagg’s giggling got in her head.

“And who are they exactly? The last thing we need is more amateurs in the field.” Tikki’s grin turned feral. She gestured the pair with green and brown eyes forward.

“Allow me to introduce you. This is Jett, Kwami of Darkness and Primm, Kwami of Light.” He bowed and she curtsied before Tikki waved the other two forward.  “And this is Digg, Kwami of Order and Lyccen, Kwami of Anarchy. They are not bound to Miraculous and as such aren’t liabilities like the rest of us.” Having his words thrown back at him seemed to shut him up for the moment but Superman started making exaggerated gestures. Tikki let out an annoyed sigh before snapping again and removing the gags from him and Green Lantern.

“You can’t just release entities like that on this plane with no way to control them!” All five of the Kwami rolled their eyes.

“First, giving them human forms limits their powers, much like the Miraculous do. Second, control was your major objection to the rest of us. Third, if they become a problem it’s a simple fix. I created their bodies so Plagg can destroy them.” Everyone in the room flinched except the Kwami themselves.

AO3   Beginning   Previous    Next

Ko-Fi

Tag List

@noirdots @valeks-princess @chocolatecatstheron @krispydefendorpolice @bee-wrecker @kanamexzeroyaoifangirl @northernbluetongue @paradoxal-occurance @scrumptiouslyelegantchaosqueen @sonif50 @thequestionablyhuman @persephonebutkore @elspethshadow @geekydragonyt @mmwolf1605 @da-tasuky @mjisntme @bluerosette23 @anjuschiffer @littleredrobinhoodlum @tazanna-blythe @resignedcatservant @schrodingers25 @seraphichana @persephonescat @punstoppablechatnoir @magicalfirebird @crazylittlemunchkin @corabeth11 @cyborgcandy @casual-darkness @shamefullove @miraculous-simmer7 @tamoni112 @cat181818meow @littleblue5mcdork @allthebooksandcrannies @enchanted-nerd @disneyfoxuniverse @fallinginthe-void @mandy984 @goggles-mcgee @fontegagrilledcheese @dorkus-minimus @theatreandcomicfreak @zerotosiki @ayuchan07 @mindfulmagics @urbanpineapplefarmer @winter-gardenflower @mooshoon @my-name-is-michell @melicmusicmagic @7-sage-7 @hypnosharkrebeldreamer @alicesangelofmusic @caffeinetheory @nataladriana9 @multplelifes @wanderingreader1019 @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @mvaree @redscarlet95 @storyteller-d @howabouticallyou @ginamarie1512 @kurogaya913 @tbehartoo @maddrag @two-faced-biatch @senyahgirl @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @iloontjeboontje @kakashixobito @welcometopradasa @amirahevens @amlesi @miraculousbelladonna @virgil-is-a-cutie @18-fandoms-unite-08 @cupcakeandkisses @angelofmusickaterinapetrova @book-r-the-best @dur55 @moonlightstar64 @fertileleaf @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @thecaptainthunder @danielslilangel @novicevoice @nyaabinch @interobanginyourmom @welcometopradasa @charlietheepic7 @im-here-for-the-content @maya-custodios-dionach @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @starwindmaden @tired-butterfly @rogueptoridactyl @emeraldpuffguide @suzen23smith @yuulxd @animegirlweeb @alovelyocean @kris-pines04 @semaalcocer-blog @cadencehood @jardimazul @shethecat @silent-storms-posts @simplysslytherin @tog84 @thesunanditsangel @dast218 @tall-and-angry @the-alice-of-hearts @captainmac6 @theyellowfeverexperience @chrismarium @alessialeone6997 @heaven428 @tinyterror333 @smolplantmum @lilyellowink @naoryllis @katiegardneriscoolerthanyou @magewriter @doodledeerest @athena452 @peachedpocky @tired-butterfly @risingmoonyue @lunammoon @mylife-demonstrates-murphys-law  @bobothyross @silvergold-swirl @loysydark @heaven428 @peachedpocky @hauntedwintersweets @awesome-starfish-and-tacos @silvergold-swirl @rosesgonerogue @castielsofficialtoothbrush @myazael @aestheticnpoetic @creator-josie @sturchling @snowstar1016 @myblacknightworld @kittycatwowmeow @midnightkaito @chylou34 @hufflejournals @indecisive-mess-named-me @uwuteamleader @sassakitty @jessigurl-design @demigodgirl20031 @freshbark @soup-served-chilling @elmokingkong @unknownvsworld @thatonegaybitchfromschool @tis-i-beanbandit @damianette-is-life @peachesbackup @nobodyw8s4evr @the-fusionist @iwantwhirlledpeasandlotsatrees @chocolateherringtacofan

[autumn-foxfire]

GojoHime, Cargo (Gojo x Prison Realm lol, I just found out its a ship?), RanpoSano, Black Sun, KidaMika? One from each so you don't get too many bnha requests!

THANK YOU NONNIE <3 <3 <3

For this (x)

GojoHime

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

The vomit response is more about the shippers than the ship itself to be honest XD GojoHime is a big notp for me. At first it was something that I just didn't ship because they barely interact and have no chemistry but then the shippers made themselves known and now I can't stand the pairing at all. Too many GojoHime (not all thankfully) are willing to ignore Gojo's canon relationships and make it look like he and Utahime are the closest in the manga/anime. And they've also fooled themselves into thinking that somehow Utahime, a character we barely know, who Gege has told us firsthand that she doesn't like Gojo but is willing to work with him as a colleague, is his endgame ship. I doubt JJK will even have endgame ships considering the type of manga it is but if it did, it would not be a pairing that have little interaction and no chemisty.

It's just your typical "boy and girl interact and the fandom thinks they're supposed to be shipped" couple that always appears in the fandom <.< If you do ship them, then you do you, but don't become as insane as some shippers for it.

Cargo (Gojo x Prison Realm)

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

Gojo may be inside the Prison Realm at the moment but that is not because he loves it... It's because he loves Geto.

RanpoSano

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I've seen this ship around in the fandom and while I don't ship it, I definitely understand why people do after reading Yosano's past in the manga. It is very cute and wholesome ship but I just think they work better as siblings. Plus the ship goes against my personal headcanons for one of them (I headcanon Yosano to be a lesbian admittedly) so I'll never really ship it.

Black Sun (Blake/Sun)

vomit / don’t ship (anymore) / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I used to enjoy Black Sun when I was first watching RWBY. It was clear that both Blake and Sun had good chemisty and puppy crushes on each other however as the Bee's became a more apparent ship and the love between Yang and Blake was being shown more and more in canon, I kind of fell out of love for it and for Bumbleby instead. It's still a fun ship to look back on and I'll admit I also like to dip my toes into Sunny Bees (Blake/Yang/Sun) from time to time because it's a fun ship.

I am upset about the hatred that Sun can get from the fandom though just because he used to be in the running as Blake's romance. He's a fun character who clearly cares for Blake, leave him alone for gods sake, it's clear Bumbleby is on it's way to becoming canon so he isn't the competition you think he is anymore (and anyone who at this stage denies that really needs to re-watch the series).

KidaMika

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

A ship I actually don't mind :o

Kida and Mikado are definitely a fun ship! They're also a ship that is full of lack of communication or miscommunication which would definitely be fun to explore in fanfic (as it's just canon but then you add the romantic spin on it). They're you cutesy childhood friends ship that becomes a bit less cutesy when they become the leaders of their own gangs and accidently start a gang war between each other because they didn't know the other was the leader (though tbh Mikade spent that arc trying to diffuse everything because he's both a good boy and is caught up in the highs that is being a gang leader).

If only Kida would stop running away from his problems or blaming them all on Izaya then maybe the fallout in canon wouldn't have been so bad...

[ketzwrites]

Rewatch 109: Rise Up

This might be my least favorite episode of the whole show. I make no secrets that my biggest interest in Shadowhunters is the political scenario and the possibilities of it. 

This episode takes the political scenario and cynically destroys all the potential real-world criticism that could be done. Clary gets to play the white savior, the Downworlders are childish and incompetent, Alec is complicit to torture, and - ultimately - the Clave’s twisted distrust of Downworlders is proven right.

I really hate this episode.

Teaser

Alberto is such a good actor. I wonder if this is the first time Raphael is dealing with a fledgling. He seems to know what he’s doing.

Act One

It’s good that Clary intends to tell Simon that it was her decision to bring him back, not Raphael’s.

I don’t get why Alec can’t just Iratze his arm. I also don’t get how Jace didn’t feel it when half of Alec’s bicep was smashed away.

Oh, okay. So, the Forsaken was after the MC. Not exactly the best plan to send the Ogre-like creature for a heist, but it’s not like Valentine is supposed to be a mastermind- No, wait. He is.

Look, it’s great that Clary was able to fight one Shax demon. Really, kudos for her. But when every single person in the Shadow World is looking for her, she is not right to want to stay on the streets and look for Simon. I swear, I don’t get this logic.

I enjoy how we are always reminded that Magnus is performing magic for payment. It’s part of his autonomy as a warlock (in fact, as the High Warlock since Magnus doesn’t take other clients besides the Institute).

Izzy has zero qualms in hugging Meliorn in the middle of the Institute. Noted.

Again, it makes no sense whatsoever to think the seelies would be working with Valentine. This “seelie always take the winning side” doesn’t work when Valentine’s side means, at best, their permanent banishment to the seelie realms, and at worst, their annihilation. That’s why Shadowhunters never showed the conversation between the Seelie Queen and Valentine in 219. There is nothing that Valentine can offer the seelies that truly interest them.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Maryse and Robert made a deal with the Clave prior to the Uprising? The event that Maryse helped organize? Honestly, the history of the Shadow World is so poorly crafted. The Clave knew the Uprising was coming but still failed to prevent it. Oh, but one shadowhunter and a recently turned werewolf were able to stop Valentine. I’m not buying it.

Both Alec and Jace have good points about Maryse and Robert. They are hypocrites and Alec is right to refuse to do their redemption for them, especially since neither Maryse nor Robert shows any regret for their past actions. But Jace is right to doubt they are working with Valentine again.

Can you imagine if Clary had told Elaine that Simon died in an accident and then Simon showed up at home like that?

Act Two

Clary is smart again and looks for Simon at his own house. Though, the lighting of this scene is so weird. In Simon’s bedroom is night time, but the corridor looks like it’s illuminated by the sun. It’s really weird.

Shots fired. Spill the tea, Alec.

I’m glad we get Simon telling Clary off for turning him into a vampire. She did it for love and it wasn’t her fault that Camille is a murderous monster. But actions have consequences nonetheless.

Lydia is terrible at interrogations and Meliorn is great at shifting the focus. He was called in to talk about the seelie blood in the Forsakens and, instead, he got the shadowhunters investigating each other. Lydia walked out with no confessions, no leads, and inner division.

Act Three

Oh, look. Raj!

Anyway, here is where Jace puts Clary’s need above Alec’s needs. He isn’t just prioritizing Clary’s quest to get her mother back over the safety of the Shadow World – which is bad enough for other reasons. He is purposefully deceiving Alec in the name of Clary’s interests. This is a betrayal of trust.

The dispute between Luke and Raphael is a classic vampire vs werewolf dispute. Fair enough. But it’s a writing decision to keep that animosity in a context where both races are oppressed by a third race. A writing decision that will annoy me in a couple acts.

Izzy and Jace are correct: torturing Meliorn will lead nowhere. That decision, though, follows the modus operandi of the Clave: Lydia failed to properly interrogate Meliorn but the blame for her lack of success in getting information from him is blamed on Meliorn’s supposedly ability to skirt the truth.

That said, there is no logic casualty between the Clave getting the MC back and the Clave doing bad things to Downworlders. In fact, I’m surprised Izzy doesn’t urge them to give up the MC as a way to prove Meliorn is cooperating and, thus, spare him from torture.

“If the Clave is willing to do this to Meliorn, what do you think will happen when they get the Cup?” Logically, they’d stop. Like they will stop in a few episodes when Imogen gets the Cup and stops Izzy’s trial.

Not that keeping people in cells is a particularly nice move, but I'm surprised Raphael is the first to do it to Clary. Lucky her the person in charge of the Institute when the story started was Alec: had it been Lydia or Aldertree or basically any other shadowhunter, she would’ve been put in a cell in the first episode.

Act Four

Fun fact: Simon almost becomes a Daylighter this episode as he struggles not to feed on Clary.

The stele stealing scene is actually very entertaining to watch even if it’s about the two people Alec should trust the most betraying him.

This conversation between Alec and Magnus breaks my heart. Rewatching the whole season, I don’t have a problem with how Magnus reacts to Alec’s marriage announcement anymore. It’s a matter of miscommunication: Alec came to the conversation looking for a confidante, Magnus came to the conversation looking for a hookup. When Magnus realizes Alec is set on following shadowhunters costume in detriment of his own happiness, Magnus gets angry but ultimately minds his own business. It works for me.

Hodge’s character is all over the place. He is the opposite in this scene as he was with Alec in 103. It’s essentially the same thing: Hodge catches the Lightwoods preparing for an unauthorized mission. But, with Alec, he was ready to let him go without further comments until Clary was mentioned. Then Hodge got angry because she is Valentine’s daughter. Now, Hodge gets angry because Jace and Izzy were about to lie to him but lets them go if that means saving Clary. The only intention I can see behind this is that Hodge is supposed to be seen as a sketchy character.

“Do you think I’d be sending Meliorn to the Silent Brothers if I thought there was another way?” Yes, I do. Because you suck at interrogations and clearly doesn’t care about Downworlders. I’m glad Alec doesn’t answer, forcing Lydia to further explain herself. Also, it seems this isn’t Clave’s orders after all, but a decision that came from Lydia herself.

Lydia’s sob story perpetuates the shadowhunter biased notion that all Downworlders are the same. One warlock in Rio betrayed her – after being threatened with torture -, so all downworlders are liars and should not be trusted. The fact that Alec doesn’t realize that is a huge problem but at least the ominous music is proof of that the writers know that.

Simon forgives Clary because he sees her need for his support as an opportunity for them to get together romantically. Understandable reaction, though I wish it was revisited when they do get together and then break up.

Up until Clary meets with Raphael – a public meeting, for some very idiotic reason on Raphael’s part – I’m on board on Izzy, Jace, and Clary trying to protect the Downworlders side by side with Luke and Simon.

But then her first words are “we’re offering an alliance with the seelies”. No, you’re not. You have no authority to do so. Also, Luke still holding a grudge against the vampires at a time like this is childish and uncharacteristic of him.

“We are a new generation of shadowhunters. We believe everyone to be equal” said by one of the people who attacked a whole clan for the actions of a couple vampires with no way of knowing it had been the leader’s orders to kidnap Simon. The person that, up until a few minutes ago, had to be told by a fledgling that this world sees them as different. The person that, during that same conversation, presumes to speak for Simon and is against him joining the vampires, who clearly know how to take better care of him that she does.

Maybe it’s a good thing that this show doesn’t delve into politics. If this is the best they can do, I don’t want it.

Act Five

More childish animosity between werewolves and vampires to prove that, without Clary, they would be incapable of working together.

Clary doesn’t know how the portal shard works. She’s only ever activated it by mistake. Do the writers think the audience is stupid?

And, in the same episode that Clary is being glorified as the conciliator of the Shadow World, she is ready to “call the whole thing off” because it might inconvenience Jace to fight his Parabatai. Oh, I’m sorry saving Meliorn might personally affect your boyfriend, Clary. You’re right. Forget about it. It’s just a Downworlder life you believe to be saving. Jace’s feelings are more important. Fuck this episode and whoever came up with it.

No women among the shadowhunters with Alec, hm?

It’s a smart writing choice to have Izzy use the whip against Raj. It seems an insignificant thing in this episode, but it entails bitter consequences for the next one.  

As wrong as Alec is for going through with this plan, I’m happy he gets to punch Jace on the face for making Alec’s choices all about him. And for winning the fight and refusing to work outside the system again just because Jace asked him to.

Act Six

I’m really not interested in watching Jace being jealous of Clary and Simon’s friendship.

I ship Meliorn and Izzy so much.

Did Izzy also tell you Clary offered to call off your rescue if Jace felt uncomfortable in fighting Alec, Meliorn? Or are we ignoring that to sing her praises she does not deserve?

I guess the worst part of this entire episode is that, in the end, Lydia was right. Meliorn was being uncooperative. He knows a way to find Valentine and chose not to disclose it. That also shows that the seelies are rather incompetent: they can get to Valentine and kill him but choose not to.

[ryik-the-writer]

Please Wake Up (3/4) - Anger

The Golds go to the savior for help. Belle finally speaks her mind, and Gideon begins to take a dark turn.

A03

Gideon fidgeted as he and his parents waited for Sheriff Swan to respond to their call. Right after Gideon returned, his parents insisted that they go to the Sheriff’s Station, that Emma could help them connect some of the dots to the Roderick mystery.

Gideon had his doubts that Emma could—or even would—help them. Though most of his actions had been the result of the Black Fairy’s control, Emma was still weary and distrustful of him. Gideon couldn’t really blame her, but he couldn’t quite understand how children who had feared him their entire lives were able to forgive him, but the savior—whose child he never even touch—still held him in low regard.

“Everything is going to be okay sweetheart.” His mother assured him, rubbing his back comfortingly.

Gideon nodded, but he seriously doubted her words. Something was wrong about all of this. Roderick couldn’t be alive.

He had watched the Black Fairy kill him. Watched her crush him.

He’d even tried to gather his remains after she had left him to grieve, but to no avail. There had been nothing left of him, nothing to save.

Nothing that could have been used to bring him back to life.

He looked up at his father who, despite his mother’s insistence, hadn’t stopped pacing. He seemed more nervous about this meeting with Emma than Gideon was.

“Maybe we should call her again.” Rumplestiltskin sighed impatiently.

“She said she’d be right over.” Belle assured.

“Well she’s taking her sweet time.” Rumplestiltskin returned, fighting the urge to magic Emma into the station himself.

Just as Belle was about to list off excuses, Emma came bounding into the station, her mother brisling in behind her.

“What’s this about, Gold?” Emma inquired aggravatedly.

“Oh, I just thought of all the times you would come after me demanding assistance and thought I’d return the favor.” Gold snarked.

“We were making honeymoon plans.” Snow White shot back, her frown matching her daughter’s.

“Didn’t realize newlyweds took their parents on their honeymoons nowadays.” Gold smirked.

“Enough!” Belle yelled, stepping between the Charmings and her husband. She gave him a warning look that had him holding his tongue and take a cautious step towards their son.

“We’re sorry to get in the way of your plans, Emma.” Belle apologized. “But Gideon saw someone today and we need your help finding out who it is.”

“Did you try following and asking him?” Emma inquired with a bite of sarcasm.

“Yes, actually I did.” Gideon’s voice broke through the tense air. “He…he doesn’t remember me, or anything from the Dark Realm, it would seem.”

“I fail to see why that concerns me.” Emma sighed.

“It concerns you because you’re the savior.” Rumplestiltskin argued. “This is your job.”

“I didn’t ask for this job!” Emma fought back. “And I’m done putting my life on hold to fix your problems!”

“I think you have the roles mixed up on this one, dearie!” Rumplestiltskin yelled back, causing Belle to grab his elbow to keep him at bay.

“He died!” Gideon yelled over the saviors, earning their attention at last. “I saw it. She…the Black Fairy…turned him into a bug, and crushed him…right in front of me.” He swallowed. “Because of me.”

Rumplestiltskin felt Belle flinch beside him. Though they had healed from the miscommunication before and after Gideon’s birth, Gideon hadn’t. The few days that they had spent worrying about his existence had been an entire lifetime for him, filled with pain, anger, and heartbreak. Neither of them new much about this Roderick that Gideon had spoke about only once, but he had apparently meant the world to their son. His demise was what motivated Gideon to defeat the Black Fairy, to go against everything he had been raised to do.

Now that Roderick—or at least someone who looked indescribable similar to him—was alive, Gideon was back to where he started, and three months of healing had crumpled before them.

“But somehow he’s back.” Gideon told the savior wetly. “He’s alive, but…he’s someone else. He calls himself Kevin and he was with…someone else.”

“Pinocchio.” Rumplestiltskin relayed.

“August?” Emma mused. “I didn’t realize he was dating.”

“They’re not…” Gideon began to snip. He stopped however when he recalled how he saw them together. They were something, even if he wasn’t ready to admit it. “It doesn’t matter. Will you help me?”

“Look, Gideon,” Emma sighed. “Was he in any danger? Did he seem like he was being abused or anything?”

“I…no but—”

“Then what’s the problem?” She asked. “If he’s happy then why make him remember who he was? It wasn’t like he had it good to begin with.”

“That’s not the point!” Gideon exclaimed. “He had hope! We all did thanks to him! He needs to remember that.”

“Remember how he was imprisoned and abused?” Emma deadpanned. “It seems to me like you’re the one who wants to remember all of it. That’s pretty selfish if you ask me.”

Her comment was a low blow, and it hit Gideon so hard that all at once the hurt he had been pushing back for so long slammed into him full force. Through the hurt and the agony of it all, there was something else stirring through his chest. That little dark flame the Black Fairy had ignited in him all those years ago. There was a time when Gideon didn’t mind being the evil little slave she had created—and at that time he actually liked it. It was easier. Pushing people far away, making them fear him, it kept them safe. It should have kept Roderick safe.

“You know what Emma?” Gideon responded with a small, dark smile. “Enjoy your honeymoon.”

Emma blinked, barely flinching when he brushed past her to exit the sheriff station.

“I hope you both fall off the edge of the world.” He muttered.

“Gideon.” Rumplestiltskin called after his son, earning only the slam of the sheriff station door.

The savior nor her mother said anything regarding Gideon’s remark, but the annoyance was clear on their faces.

“If there’s nothing else…” Emma exasperated.

“Oh, there’s plenty else.” Rumplestiltskin growled, stalking past her to go after his son.

With the Dark One gone, Emma and Snow White were able to exchange aggravated shrugs in peace, barely noticing the gaping woman glaring at them.

“I can’t believe you.” Belle spoke, earning their attention. “We come for you for help, not just for Gideon but for Roderick too, and you just dismiss them?”

“Belle…” Snow sighed with a tip of her chin, as if she were addressing one of her young students.

“Don’t.” Belle stopped her, crossing her arms tightly over herself. “It’s my turn. Since the moment you asked me to, I have sacrificed sleep, and time, and precious moments with my husband. I was so consumed with helping you that I didn’t recognize that he was going dark again. That he needed help.”

“You’re not responsible for his mistakes.” Emma said.

“I may not be responsible for his sins, Emma, but I am responsible for his well-being.” Belle scoffed. “When I married him, he became a part of me, and me him. I should have helped him cope with his trauma but instead I tried to turn him into someone he wasn’t ready to be.”

“And you think he’s any different now?” Snow inquired stiffly.

“I think he’s who he’s always been,” Belle retorted. “A dark man who loves his family with his entire being.” She stepped closer, eyeing the savior dead-on. “And right now, his child is hurting, and he came to you, the savior, a fellow parent, expecting help, but instead all he received is scorn.”

Emma’s mouth opened for a response, but Belle cut her off quickly. It was still her turn.

“And let me just remind you that Gideon is my son as well. I thought after everything I’ve done for you that you would help me. But it would seem your honeymoon plans are more important than the well-being of one of your citizens.”

“Belle it’s not—”

Belle grabbed her purse and stomped around her, heading after her husband and son.

“The next time you need a free babysitter or someone to fix your problems, call someone else. My husband nor I are no longer at your service.”

She closed the door as they called after her, caring little for any apology or excuse they would gift her.

She was done. She had her say, and now she could focus on helping her son.

She only hoped that she and her husband could still direct him away from a path of darkness.

-,-,-,-,-

He was with that man again. The one who had walked him into the hospital hours ago. The one who his father called Pinocchio, but the savior called August.

Gideon watched as Roderick…Kevin…and August strolled casually to his loud traveling bike, a motorcycle, he believed it was called.

He held his breath for a moment when he saw how casually Roderick was dressed. Gone was the starchy white lab coat that made him look twice as pale than he was. Now he had on a pair of light jeans and a long-sleeved shirt that kept him protected from the cooling weather. His bright smile could match the sun. He looked so happy, laughing at something August was saying. Gideon’s heart soared for him.

But through the overwhelming happiness there was this deep resentment he couldn’t place and shouldn’t have felt.

It was the same feeling he used to have in the mines, when the Dark Fairy took an interest in him. He had dark spells pumped into his mind and every move he made was monitored and critiqued to the cruelest extent. Sure, he was fed and clothes better than the other children, but it was at a cost. If they had their work done, they had their freedom, restricted as it was. Gideon never earned his.

But this feeling he had wasn’t quite the same childhood resentment he had had for his peers. It was deeper. More primal. That August man shouldn’t be by Roderick’s side. That wasn’t the way things were supposed to be.

Gideon took a deep breath to control himself. He couldn’t worry about such a trivial matter right now. He needed to focus on bringing Roderick’s memory back. Then he would take care of the rest.

He watched with concern as Roderick boarded the loud contraption and wrapped his arms around August. His stomach lurched when they drove off at a sickeningly fast speed, Roderick’s chin nestled into the other man’s shoulder.

“He looks healthy.”

Gideon glanced around to see his father standing just behind him, fingers intertwined as his sharp eyes followed the motorcycle down the street.

“He is.” Gideon added. “He’s a lot of things.”

Rumplestiltskin nodded, taking his place beside his son. They both stared at the hospital, a mass building that was filled with uncomfortable memories for them both.

“What are you planning?” Rumplestiltskin inquired, watching Gideon tense  from the corner of his eye.  

“Why on earth are you asking me that?” Gideon scoffed.

“Because I saw the look on your face when you let the sheriff’s station.” Rumplestiltskin said. “You’re about to do something careless, and possibly dangerous.”

“I can handle it.” Gideon said, stepping over the curb towards the hospital.

“You think causing chaos is going to earn you Roderick’s favor?”

Gideon stopped on the yellow line of the road, turning back to his father with a frown. “I’m more concerned with earning his trust and forgiveness than his favor, father.”

“You will.” Rumplestiltskin promised. “But you need to be careful or you’ll push him away.”

“He doesn’t even know who I am!” Gideon shouted in frustration. “Roderick, Kevin, whoever he is now. I’m nothing to him! And if I just stand around I never will be. I have to try something.” With a flick of his wrist he vanished is a cloud of gold.

“Gideon don’t!” Rumple called after him, cursing when he disappeared. Through the aggravation and concern, he felt just a hint of relief when he sensed Belle’s presence.

“Where did he go?” Belle inquired.

“I’m not sure” Rumple admitted. “He’s going to do something brash.”

Belle nodded, the concern for her son clear on her entire face. “What do we do, Rumple? How do we help him?”

Rumple placed an arm around his wife’s shoulders. Rarely was she ever uncertain, but when it came to her son, she was all over the place.

“We keep going.” He decided. “We’ll start with the hospital, find out how long Roderick has been here, then we’ll go to the mines where the Black Fairy kept her things.”

“You think she’s behind this?” Belle gasped.

“It’s the only way this makes sense.” Rumplestiltskin said. “She may have tricked Gideon somehow into seeing Roderick’s death. It’s certainly not below her.”

Belle nodded, rubbing his back in slow comforting circles.

“Let’s start with Dr. Whale, create a timeline.” Belle suggested. “It will give Gideon some time to calm down and us to help him find what he needs.”

“If he doesn’t find it first.” Rumple muttered as he led his wife across the street to the hospital.

Just on the edge of Storybrooke, Gideon stood in a small forested area outside a small but homey house.

Inside the house was August and Roderick. They were sitting at a table, smiling and taking sips from beer bottles and bites from plates as they laughed over some tale the elderly man at the end of the table was telling.

They looked so happy, like a small quaint family. Gideon couldn’t help but smile at the image and imagine if it were him in August’s place and his parents in the elderly man’s.

His smile faded when he realized what such a fantasy would entitle. Waking Roderick up, taking him away from this peaceful existence he had found. Could Gideon really do that? Could he take away such happiness from his former friend?

Gideon continued to watch them as he mused on the question. The elderly man had excused himself, leaving Roderick and August alone. They talked for a while more, finishing the mean and drinks set before them, relaxed in their chairs with a sizable distance between them.

Then, suddenly Roderick leaned over the table and kissed August on the lips. Slow and loving, and quickly retuned.

Gideon looked away and held back a bark of protest.

Maybe the savior was right, maybe he was being selfish by trying to wake Roderick up.

Maybe this life that he had somehow found himself in was better than the one he had left. Maybe making him remember was just cruel.

Gideon didn’t want to hurt him again. He’d failed him twice already, failed him to the point that his life had become unbearable. Who knows the kind of danger he would experience now.

Gideon found the courage to look up once more and found the space they had been in empty. The same void was swallowing his heart.

He decided as he made his half-hearted retreat that he would find a way to wake his friend.

Maybe it was selfish, and maybe even cruel. But he needed the same closure the other children had gotten. He needed Roderick to know his death had not been in vain, that the had become the hero he had wanted him to be.

That in their last moments, Roderick had awoken feelings in him that he had never know where possible. Hope, bravery…love?

He spared a final glance at the cozy home where Roderick was laying his head for the night. Yes, love too.

However, to find out why Roderick couldn’t remember him, he would have to first find out how this August fellow played into all of this.

That would be the morning’s mission, when Roderick was safe in his gray morgue and August’s throat was firmly in Gideon’s hands.

[kbrown78]

My Thoughts: A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray

I've read Beauty Queens by Libba Bray and I enjoyed it, and she seems to write on subjects that I'm always looking for more narratives on. Last year I started hearing more about how amazing this series was and I finally caved and bought the whole trilogy. I got around to reading this first book, and was pleased with it. There were a few issues that I had with it, but I was willing to forgive most the these issues because I felt that it fit the characters. I also haven't read that much literature that takes place during Victorian London, and I think this book did a fantastic good at lamp shading the problems in society at that time.

World building: In the beginning there's brief description of the streets and India, and even though they are crowded like the streets in London, there is a distinct difference. In India there's almost a sense of joy and color versus in London everything is gray and gloomy. In fact that's how most of the Victorian London is portrayed in this book, but Spence Academy has this almost ancient, gothic feel, like it's timeless. I didn't, however, love the school in itself because there wasn't anything magical that was directly tied into the school, but that's just me. Obviously my favorite location in this story is going to be the Realms and I liked that it's understood that what the readers see isn't all there is. The Realms existing also produced secret groups in the real world, like the Order and the Rakshana, and I always love secret societies involved in parallel worlds. The Realms have a sort of dream like quality to them because they can make one's greatest wishes come true as well as their worst nightmare. So it's this in between world that exists but has it's limits and rules, that are in place for a good reason, like the runes exist to contain and protect the magic. I would also like to point out real quick something small that I enjoy seeing in books, and that's when a food/drink/ place smells unique to each person, and for the girls the Realms scent brings back good childhood memories.

Characters: The four main girls were interesting, because they aren't always likeable. They do stupid things, they do selfish things, but this makes them a touch more realistic because they act how a normal teenager would act. Gemma is the fiery, mysterious one. She's also sort of the “chosen one” because she has the special abilities that lets the others into the Realms. I also thought it was interesting that she grew up India, but that isn't an important part of the story or her character and I wish that was used more. Ann is very meek and almost too pure for this world, except for the fact that she can also be very gloomy. Felicity is the gorgeous mean girl that comes from a privileged background. Her family isn't as perfect as it seems, so this causes her to be rebellious and have a desperate thirst for freedom. Pippa is a hopeless romantic that follows Felicity's lead. Like Felicity, her life is completely controlled by her parents and longs for freedom. All of these girls felt realistic, but I didn't love any of them because of how annoying and petty they could be at times. The side characters aren't as well fleshed out, and feel a bit more like archetypes. Gemma's mother is the spirit guide, Kartik is the love interest, Brigid is the simple maid, Cecily is the fill in mean girl, and Miss Moore is the only nice teacher (which made me think that she was Circe).

Relationships: Again, because the girls feel like actual teenagers, their friendships feel realistic. The girls fight and they disagree and come from completely different backgrounds, but also have a lot in common. Above all, these girls have a desire to choose their life and all desperately want something, so they can sympathize with each other. The girls do say insensitive things to each other (mostly coming from Pippa, who's a bit of an airhead) and there can be a lack of communication (especially from Gemma and Felicity) which pushes a deep wedge between them. Again this felt like a realistic friendship with it's faults, but these girls can be so petty and their miscommunication struggles makes it not a friend group I like. It was pretty obvious from the beginning that Kartik is going to be a love interest of the series, but I honestly prefer Kartik and Gemma just having a platonic relationship. There is this sort of banter where Kartik thinks he knows best and tries to control what Gemma does, but Gemma being Gemma doesn't let that stop her. It's hard to tell if there are romantic feelings from Kartik, but about half way through the book she starts being jealous of Pippa because of Kartik and starts dreaming about Kartik, and honestly I didn't care for that part of the story at all. The end scene was cute though, with them playing cricket together. Gemma and her mother also have an important relationship, because the story starts with Gemma's mother being murdered, and Gemma's greatest wish is to have her mother back with her. When Gemma sees her mother in the Realms, her mother tries her best to guide Gemma, but it's also revealed that Gemma's mother was Mary and lied to Gemma her entire life. So both parties make bad choices, but Gemma learns that the image she had of her mother as this flawless human was an illusion and she needs to move past that and let her mother move on, just as Gemma's mother is trying to help fix the mistakes of the past. Miss Moore is kind of similar to Gemma's mother because she tries to push the girls to think beyond outside of the box and introduces them to the Order, and also doesn't tolerate any mean girl bullshit. However, due to the fact that she was the only nice teacher that sees through everything made me think that she was Circe (which turns out to be true).  Interestingly all the girls living family members treat them like crap, which makes the girls feel even more lonely and not in control, which also serves to push them together even more.    

Writing: I think the strongest part of this book is all the symbolism and underlying themes. Beauty Queens proved that Bray can do satire well, and while A Great and Terrible Beauty wasn't nearly as satirical as Beauty Queens it still seemed to be trying to convey the same messages. In Victorian London, the girls feel beneath everything just because they're girls. That they are objects to be looked at, then sold off in marriage But then they learn about the Order, a group of just women that can control magic and illusions. This sounds like the prefect solution for the girls, but once they get the magic and starts using it in the real world, there are negative consequences. So the narrative is almost saying that power doesn't necessarily come from “in your face” magic, but from more subtle acts. I really loved the emphasis on women in mythology, and in more primitive times showing that women can have power over themselves and their worlds, because I love any narrative that discusses women in mythology (and not just Persephone, even though I love her).  The art scenes were also really interesting to because it's through art that the girls learned about everything I previously mentioned, but also in the paintings and poems talked about throughout the story. The Lady of Shalott worked really well because it shows that people can interpret the same thing differently, but also that the ending is a matter of choice, and that there are no safe choices. Gemma's painting of an apple, which she dubs The Choice, is a nod to the story of Eve, and she acknowledges that her painting looks better when light and dark coexist on the surface. To be honest, this book is so quotable because of how many great messages are delivered in one line. One last thing I would like to talk about deals with two of the girls, Ann and Pippa. Pippa has epilepsy, which I think is good that this was added into her character, but society views it as a flaw that must be hidden so that she can get a rich husband. For Ann, I got the impression that she cuts herself, and I could be wrong, but she seems to think that making herself feel pain is better than nothing. It's a dangerous topic to bring up, but I think the narrative acknowledges that this is ultimately wrong.  

Dislike: I did dislike how naive the girls were and that in the second half of the book, there was so much miscommunication that caused all the problems in the climax. I was willing to forgive this because I felt the girls needed to make those mistakes then grow beyond them (which they don't in the second book). I also didn't like in the beginning that all the mean girls are described as the most beautiful girls in the school, just because I'm sick of seeing the pretty, popular girls being equated to a mean girl, especially when they don't have a reason to be mean.

Final Thoughts: I did really like this book, I gave it four stars and I still think that stands, but having now read the second book I wish the story had been wrapped up in this one book, so that I could still have that amazed feeling about this story and these characters overall.

[thesohirydestiny]

Yeah, no. I can't see it. In the first place, any sign that Isa or Lea were experimented on was frighteningly miniscule. In fact, to the contrary. KH3 specifically states that after X disappeared, Isa and Lea got employed in the Castle as scientists in order to have access to the Castle in order to look for her.

According to the timeline, X disappeared, Xehanort confronted Ansem concerning her location, Ansem fell into the Realm of Darkness, Xehanort took Ansem's place leading the apprentices, Isa and Lea were unable to locate X through their usual B&E, Isa and Lea came to work in the Castle for better access, Xehanort murdered everyone, and Radiant Garden fell to the Heartless.

As for why Isa and Lea didn't appear on the list of apprentices in the Ansem Reports in KH1, it could be that they either weren't yet employed by the Castle when that particular page was written, or they hadn't made any important contributions at that point in time.

All of that means that there was no justification for any sort of grudge, except possibly petty ones toward Dilan and Aeleus for throwing them out of the Castle whenever they got caught wandering around inside.

Which means that the execution was entirely cold-blooded. Which you would expect from Nobodies.

From what was said in Days, neither Zexion or Lexaeus were supposed to die. Saïx's only target was Vexen, and ending the replica program. Which I personally find interesting, given that this motive has yet to be elaborated upon--even Axel doesn't know why this particular experiment drew Isa's notice. Speculation is that he wanted to limit Xemnas' power, but Saïx has yet to state what his reason was.

Axel was the one who took the initiative to kill Zexion. He even cited the reason as Zexion being Saïx's competition for Xemnas' second in command.

What bothers me about this, and provides weight to my anti-Axel stance, is that it is explicitly stated in Days that Axel and Zexion were friends (Axel specifically says that they were friends in his journal; this was not miscommunication or a misunderstanding). Axel looked at his friend, who had no reason to distrust him, and Axel decided that his friend would cause problems for Saïx later, and Axel proceeded to feed his friend to a replica and watched the entire time while said friend was screaming for Axel to help him.

And then, a year or two later, Lea meets Ienzo again, and has absolutely no problem looking him in the eye. Without a single hint of awkwardness.

Seriously. The guy is a sociopath.

And it's not that Nomura can't write guilt. Isa spent KH3 working to make up for what he did (in much the same way as Riku, only in less morally questionable ways). And Even actually specifically stated that his actions in KH3 were to atone for the hurt he caused both before and after he became a Nobody. It was literally his only reason for living, which is why he didn't hesitate to suicide and become a Nobody again.

So former Nobodies can still feel the guilt of their actions even after recompletion. They can make up for the bad things that they did even while reclaiming their previous life.

Axel just -- doesn't.

Follow the Leader

You know, sometimes a few widely accepted headcanons about Isa really bother me. Mostly because when I think about it, they don’t actually suit his character at all? They actually seem to contradict his entire personality?

Like, how it’s widely accepted that Lea is the ringleader of the group. Now maybe I’m just too influenced by the parallels Isa and Lea have with, say, Riku and Sora, but wouldn’t it make more sense if it was the other way around?

True, Sora and Lea are clearly the more personable people of their respective groups, but without their other half, they’d never get anything done. Because when you think about it, they’re both what you’d call troublemakers. Without Riku, Sora would still be sleeping on the beach. And without Isa, Lea would be accosting every “stray puppy” he saw in his quest to become “immortal.”

Isa and Riku are necessary in order to keep them moving forward.

Sora and Riku’s decision to build that raft and sail off to find other worlds is clearly implied to be Riku’s plan originally, but it’s also strongly implied to be a dream that Sora shared. And while implementing their plan, their world is attacked by Heartless and falls into darkness. The fallout results in them becoming separated, Kairi losing her heart, and Riku becoming possessed by Xehanort.

Once everything is fixed–Kairi’s heart is restored, Riku is liberated from Xehanort and the worlds are once again safe–Riku spends months in a huge depression, and only seems to move out of a sense of responsibility and a desire to help his friends.

Meanwhile, in the same pursuit of their dreams, Isa and Lea’s actions did not only lead to their becoming Nobodies, but may have also contributed to their world falling to darkness. Yet at no point does Lea show any remorse, nor does he display any sense of responsibility for their actions.

You could argue that time and distance was a factor here (and it likely was), but please remember what occurred in Dream Drop Distance. When Dilan, Even, Aeleus and Ienzo were restored, only Aeleus and Ienzo, arguably the least “evil” of the group, were shown actively moving around. Dilan and Even were said to be “recovering”–likely experiencing a huge amount of guilt and “What have I done?”

Yet Lea was among those active, and showed absolutely no amount of guilt, despite all of his actions–the actual murder of Vexen and the conspiracy to kill Zexion. (Even Lexaeus was on his list of targets, but Riku got to him first.) And that was all recent. 

So either Lea is an actual sociopath, or he legitimately feels that he is not to blame and has shoved all responsibility for his actions onto Isa (and Xehanort).

Now, it’s true that Roxas told Lea to go and find/rescue his friends, but when compared to Riku’s behavior in Kingdom Hearts II, do you see any kind of guilt or self-loathing from Lea during Dream Drop Distance? The only time he shows guilt, ever, is after he sacrificed himself to save Sora and apologizes for kidnapping Kairi in the first place. Which was a plan that he came up with entirely on his own, not influenced by anyone other than himself, and his own desires.

In the face of all this, I’m quite satisfied that Isa is in fact the leader of their little duo. Axel was comfortable following Saïx‘s direction, he trusted Saïx to make a plan that would somehow get their hearts back, etcetera. If Lea was the one who typically made those plans, he would not be nearly this comfortable being left out like that, essentially giving up direct control over his fate. Yet Axel trusted that Saïx was always acting in their best interest, and surrendered the position easily.

If only Isa wasn’t so terribly prone to Plan Backfire.

[subtletyislost]

Worldbuilding: The Scion Way

more spaced out version here

Anonymous asked: 25. What is your worldbuilding process like? 

[TL;DR for my TL;DR: Worldbuilding is tough, but my very basic model is “if I have a question, answer it. If someone might have that question, answer it. If it’s even possible to question that thing, answer it.”

TL;DR: my worldbuilding process is basically I have a dream or fantasy about a story I want to write, this gives me a glimpse into the world, then I start writing and answer questions as they come up, making notes as I go. Sometimes the answering questions leads to connecting other stories to the world that weren’t originally part of it simply because the combined worldbuilding aspects that have been accomplished for each one simply make sense together. Sometimes it means that I sit down and actually think things out because the world is huge and I’m excited but also I need to understand X,Y,andZ or I’ll end up so frustrated that I give up.] 

Alrighty anon, I said this deserved its own post, and it does. But first let me clear up one or two things. First, my worldbuilding process highly likely won’t work for other people. Second, for just because I don’t work like other people work, does not mean my process (or theirs) is inherently bad in any way, it just means that I am an individual and my experiences and mind are different from other people’s experiences and minds. With that out of the way let’s move on.

More under the cut because this is going to get long.

 The first thing I do in worldbuilding is unusual in that it doesn’t happen intentionally. I dream. Most of my worldbuilding begins with a dream. That’s why I say my method won’t work for most people. A lot of people, can’t or don’t want to, remember their dreams. With the dream, I usually get a first look at the world, and sometimes if I’m lucky the story within it that needs to be told. That gives me a big picture view, I know what kind of world it is. Then it varies depending on how much like our world that world is.

If it’s enough like our world, I just start writing and make everything up as I go along, or research it and pick and choose the things I want in the world.

If it’s different enough, I start big picturely. I think about what kind of things live in the world, how they get along, what kind of government there is, if there’s money, do they all speak the same language, ect.

Let’s go with an example, the most detailed worldbuilding I’ve ever done is for the universe that contains several stories: Light in the Dark, Sk8r Girl, The Invisibles, The Forgotten Realm of Dreams (Scion in Space), Space Cadet Luka, Is This Home Yet?, and an unnamed sequel to Sk8r Girl (tentatively I’m considering calling it “First Contact, or How to Talk to Aliens: An Autistic Scientist’s Guide to Proper Miscommunication”).

Within it I began with a few dreams, and then story ideas.

It all began when I was 12. (No really, Space Cadet Luka is a story I began when I was 12). Back then the first bits of worldbuilding I did was this: deciding that the story took place on a human colony on a planet that isn’t Earth, that there are animals that can do magic, that the colony maintains regular contact with Earth, that there’s nonhumans living in the colony too, that the people who could control the animals went on a journey and competed in some kind of competition, that they stayed in hotels for free while on their journey (because most of the time they did their journey right around age 13), that they could listen to “holiday” music from Earth on the radio whenever they wanted, and that there were cards that could help during fights between two people who could control the animals.

Some people might say that’s bad worldbuilding because little me didn’t include important things like: what they ate, the non-placeholder names of the animals or nonhumans, who ran the contests, if someone oversaw the journeys, what kind of money they use, the moral implications of the animal/controller relationship, who founded the colony, why is there a competition, what the hell are the ‘cards’ and how do they work, ect. But in little me’s defence, I was 12.

That was it for a while, I went to other stories. Then I picked up, Is This Home Yet? To be honest, I almost didn’t include it in this post because it started/currently lives it’s life as Frozen fanfiction, but it is part of the universe and I did create its entire world by scratch. It started with one simple thing: hatred directed toward some really asshole-ish politician who said those dumb things about rape like “it should be legal to force sex upon a woman because if it’s a legitimate rape the female body has ways of shutting that down.” From there I build up the world as I went, there was the true beginning of actually worldbuilding the entire universe.

I decided how the garbage is taken care of (trash pickup in Elsa’s neighborhood is every Wednesday); what they eat; how the government works; what kind of laws they have about things like discrimination against the lgbt community, racial issues, children wandering around without supervision; how the healthcare system works; what kind of problems (gangs, the mafia, human trafficking, drugs, ect) the police have to deal with on a daily basis; how insurance works; among other things.

From that I was able to build the world of The Invisibles, by adding in some simple but essential details: the inclusion of multiverse travels and theories; the everyday life of some adults (as opposed to high school students); what kind of companies are the same as our world; and minor details like the timeline and history.

For a while there were missing pieces in The Invisibles/Is This Home Yet world that broke the story for me. The most important one being that there was an agency regulating multiverse travel from a different universe in the multiverse, but I didn’t know anything about them or the world they lived in.

Then I had a dream about a skateboarding competition, two autistic lesbians, and an organization dedicated to ‘finding the truth’. And Sk8r Girl was born, and the world got bigger and better. I was able to decide more important things about the world like: who runs the school system when the government couldn’t care less about making sure people are educated because there’s ‘not enough money’ for that; who builds parks and bridges and handles the general infrastructure of the cities and towns and countries; how things might be different if exploration of the ‘new world’ focused a little less on ‘this is our land now’ and a little more on cooperation; how museums work; how children are handled when it’s discovered they’ve willingly (through either their own choice, or the choice of someone who was supposed to be taking care of them) fallen through the cracks of the system; how the general public handles autism, mental illnesses, and minority religions/people; and slightly more obscure things like differences in ancient myths.

After that I was able to create Light in the Dark, because it was in the same world, just set a few years earlier and about two side characters from Sk8r Girl. This allowed me to build up how the economy works; how companies work; how arranged marriages for business deals work; how college/university is different when it’s mostly handled by an organization dedicated to knowledge instead of private companies; how someone who doesn’t work for the big organization views it.

From all of this I was able to tie together The Invisibles with Sk8r Girl by allowing the big organization to be the organization that oversees multiverse travel.

The single most packed with worldbuilding story of them all is The Forgotten Realm of Dreams, which began from a dream and was originally not part of the universe.

[side note: The Invisibles/Is This Home Yet (though always in the same universe as each other) weren’t originally part of this large universe and neither was Space Cadet Luka (which is kind of duh because Space Cadet Luka existed well before any of the rest of these did). So originally this universe consisted solely of Light in the Dark and Sk8r Girl, the first one to get added to it was The Invisibles, when I realized that the organization was what I was missing from it, that brought Is This Home Yet with it; the second thing I added was The Forgotten Realm of Dreams and Space Cadet Luka when I realized the organization being the leader in space exploration on Earth (having unified all the disparate space organizations under their one banner through the clever use of money) would make for the perfect organization to be the face of humanity in a relatively peaceful galaxy, and being full of scientists and knowledge seekers and explorers would have made for excellent colonists to start up colonies on other worlds (and then study and work hard to cooperate and live in harmony with any native beings of the planet). Space Cadet Luka was easily attached to The Forgotten Realm of Dreams because I was lacking names for the nonhumans, and having them be some of the same species as in The Forgotten Realm of Dreams adds like 5 extra levels of stuff to the world.]

For it I have to build up entire alien civilizations (including religions, histories, biologies, governments, health care, cultures, ect); answer science questions; create multiple money systems; construct multiple languages with regional variances and both ancient, middle, and modern forms; design spaceships; interweave among all of that a deep secret and mystery of the universe; design entire planets and ecosystems; create new technology; repurpose ‘old’ technology; then I have to take everything I’ve created and put it through the lens of a nonhuman character or several; and be able to answer literally any question a fan would think to ask me about any of it.

Worldbuilding is tough, but my very basic model is “if I have a question, answer it. If someone might have that question, answer it. If it’s even possible to question that thing, answer it.”

I don’t know if any of this helps you at all, but it should give a weird look into my brain that is unedited and possibly doesn’t make any sense.

[good-for-what-aels-you]

Tribune

Azazel Valkyrion hated the sound of cutlery—the tensile whine of silver rubbing on porcelain provoked a uniquely insolent pitch; the grating sound of knife against plate inflicted the Tribune’s austere sensibility with aggrieved status. And yet it was the fork with its prongs that was the most offensive utensil of all, its three points especially (and no doubt deliberately) designed to produce the most aggravating noise in all the realms—no instrument in all the hells of Erebus was as insidious.

Azazel hated all noise. If it were possible the Tribune would live in a world in which all forms of communication were perfectly silent—such a world, alas, did not exist. He hated the sound of doors creaking and animals panting, he hated the sound of babes crying and people chewing.

The Tribune hated all sounds which intruded upon that secluded, solitudinous palace which he called his mind. But most of all, Azazel Valkyrion loathed the sound that a fork made when it scraped and stabbed against a porcelain plate.  There is no more torturous device in existence than a fork wielded by a buffoon. A buffoon which, through mannerism which is both uncouth and uncivilized, cannot not help but eat like swine.

Currently, a buffoon is sitting across from Azazel Valkyrion at the opposite end of the dining hall’s long table. The grounds of the Valkyrion estate are very tranquil and very quiet. The dining hall is very quiet right now too, save for the sound of chewing and grinding; sounds which are magnified by the silence which envelopes them.

This particular buffoon is an emissary representing the Ligurian Patrician Gens Nomen—it is far better to offend Azazel Valkyrion through proxy than in person. An emissary allowed the Liguria’s the additional benefit of feigning miscommunication throughout the negotiation process. It allowed Azazel to pretend like he believed the Liguria’s Patriarch and Dominus when they lied about miscommunication.

The arrangement suited all parties involved.

The Liguria’s emissary rolled a wad of steak from one corner of his mouth to the other while he chewed. The messenger was certainly frilly enough to a Patrician envoy—brightly tailored in purple, the embroidered ruffles of a white shirt poked out from the sleeves of his coat. Azazel thought he looked like a curtain.

Azazel’s jaw tightened as he looked at the envoy over the golden, glowering candelabra that dominated the center of the table—the man was not important and so Azazel did not know his name.

“All will be addressed tomorrow when the Presidium meets as a collective”, Azazel said. “It would be unfair and discourteous to the other families if I made a precedent arrangement with you now; it is only because I hold House Liguria and what they have done for Nova Indomitus in such high esteem that I show you hospitality presently.”

The frilly envoy swallowed his food. He reached for a goblet of wine and swallowed that, too. Azazel noticed the tiny red specks that the man did not wipe away from the corners of his lips. “Yes, I understand that m’lord—”

“—Tribune—”, Azazel corrected.

“—Tribune Azazel, but my Dominus had thought that the meeting would flow smoother if we ironed out the tedium—the uh, finer details, of the tariffs imposed on Nova Lumian wine imports.”

“You thought the meeting would go smoother if we discussed wine beforehand.” Azazel folded his hands so that his fingertips steepled together. The food placed before him remained untouched. The Tribune smiled.

“Yes, we did not want to bog down the meeting with all the sordid detail—”

“—Wine. From Nova Lumia.” The Tribune continued to smile. Azazel’s smile was not a pleasant expression. Azazel picked up his goblet of wine and took a drink without drooling a grape flavored rivulet like an invalid.

“…Yes, your eminence. Lowered tariffs would stimulate our economies and so foster good will between our peoples—your niece included—I had prayed that you, in your—”

“You prayed?” Azazel set his glass aside and sat upright. The Tribune leaned forward on his elbows, holding his hands together; Azazel was no longer smiling.

The envoy cleared his throat and wiped the corners of his mouth. He unfastened the button of his collar and brushed the sweat beading on his forehead with an equally perspiring palm.  “Yes, I had—” the purple clad emissary coughed into his hand and took another drink of wine to sooth the sudden itch in his throat.

“Beg your pardon?”

“Prayed that we could come to an understanding, Tribune Azazel.”

“I would like to tell you a story,” Azazel said. “What is your name?”

“Corvus, your excellen—” 

“I would like to tell you a story, Corvus”, Azazel spoke while he arranged his peas in the shape of a triangle. Azazel asked, “Are you listening?”

“Yes, Sire, I’m listening.” Corvus sat upright. He looked into the Tribune’s coruscating eyes while adjusting his cufflinks.

“Good. When I was a boy, I wanted a sword very badly. My father would not allow me to have one; he said that I was not old enough. So, every night I prayed and I prayed for Sanctus Arduro to give me a sword.”

Azazel looked up from his peas—a hollow rectangle of green pods now—and continued his story. “But I realized that is not how the Gods work. They don’t just give us the things that we pray for, do they?”

Corvus came to the realization that the question was not rhetorical when the Tribune continued to stare at him—no scraping forks to disturb the magnificent silence. “Uh, well no, I guess not.”

“Precisely. So do you know what I did, Corvus?” Azazel held up a hand. This question was rhetorical, too. “I stole a sword from my father’s armory and prayed for forgiveness instead.”

Azazel stood up from his chair. “Do you comprehend what I am telling you, Corvus?”

The emissary remained seated. The expression of utter bewilderment indicated that he did not, in fact, comprehend the point of the story. Corvus shook his head to emphasize his confusion.

Azazel walked the length of the table, dragging an index along smooth lacquered oak. He stood next to the emissary and placed a single, powerful hand on Corvus’ shoulder. Azazel’s grip kept the envoy firmly rooted to his seat and a scullery maid moved to clean Azazel’s plate away.

“What I am telling you, Corvus”, Azazel spoke slowly and calmly, annunciating each syllable with delicate precision. “Is that if your Dominus has a mother-fucking problem with my understanding of mother-fucking wine coming from Nova Lumia, he can mother-fucking come here himself and do something about it. He does not require you to pray for him.” Azazel gave him a final squeeze and clapped the emissary on the shoulder.

Azazel departed his present company without a further word and ascended the winding staircase leading to his study—he much preferred to deal with his maps and miniatures; abstract concepts rather than the people themselves. The Tribune did, however, allow that the profanity had been a touch gouache. But he had been very irritated. And it had not been as bad as that Godsdamned fork, besides.

[johnbernsteinx]

sanemreid​:

❝ You can definitely always count on me in that department, plus the both of us raiding the table together, I feel like there’d be less judgement. And even if there isn’t – at least it’s good to have someone else to shamelessly indulge with. ❞ She added in jest, nodding along with a chuckle, shoulders pushing up in a small shrug as well. Even though Sanem had attempted to lean on a more healthier side in her dietary habits, nothing ever really stuck. A good reason why being that she was someone who simply kept the mindset of fully enjoying life, and that included the realm of food too. Once truly following an eat pray love type of style. To further that line of reasoning, they were after all at a party, an event that catered to reveling in whatever was available. Going for the s’mores dip next, a sigh billowed out with an agreeing hum. ❝ Without a doubt, something this decadent has to be unlawful, I’ll get her on the case asap. ❞ Playing along, a laugh easily falling with her words shaking her own head some. 

Grabbing a napkin, Sanem dabbed away at any chocolate around her mouth, a brow arching at John’s words then. ❝ You guys did ? We don’t have to get into it of course, especially since you guys are okay now. ❞ The dancer had undoubtedly been a big supporter of his and Quinn’s relationship, two people she cared about finding happiness with each other, how could she not be. Grin tugged at her lips, in hindsight she deserved the I told you so’s, after all everyone had said she and Allison would be fine. Deep down she knew it as well, but the despondency that clung to her in those weeks held a firm grip. Swept away now by their profuse devotion. ❝ Ancient ? Please, Back to the Future is a classic, and the fact that so many had no idea, shameful. ❞ Sanem shook her head in mock disappointment, before her smile returned once again. ❝ Same honestly, and that was sweet of him, I’m glad he stuck around for a little while at least and you guys got to enjoy the party together. ❞ Adding genuinely. ❝ Thank you John ! Think I might’ve lost a couple Ivy leaves, if only because sitting in this is not entirely effortless, but still worth it I think for how the look came out. ❞

.

“Well, you can be completely sure that there’s absolutely no judgment coming from me at least,” John teased her, shaking his head. He truly was thankful to have Sanem in his life as it was but once he’d learned that she was a fellow foodie, he was overjoyed. John reached for a strawberry and leaned against the table comfortably as he took a bite, his eyes focused on Sanem when she spoke and he laughed before he shook his head once more when she was quick to point out that they didn’t have to get into the details of Quinn’s and his bump on the road.

He waved her off while he was busy swallowing his bite. “God – no, it’s fine. We got over it pretty quickly thankfully and to be fair, it was all me,” John said, his brows furrowing as he reached for a napkin for himself. “I freaked out,” he clarified, a bitter laugh escaping him now that he knew just how stupid it had been to think that even for a second it might not end up being comfortable living with the other man. “Him moving in happened to quickly and suddenly that I just started overthinking it. My mom made an innocent comment about us moving on quickly and I just lost it and made him think I was going to break up – I feel awful about it still but it was just a miscommunication. Those tend to be a problem for us sometimes,” he added, pulling a face.

Sanem’s words made John grin and he gave an exaggerated huff in return. “I know, right?! It’s saddening.” He chuckled, nodding at his friend’s words. “Yeah…me too,” the man said genuinely. “It’s hard on him and I know it must be terribly exhausting but I appreciate it. It’s good to know we can go to parties like these together and he’ll check in with me,” John told her. Another laugh escaped him as he gave Sanem a sympathetic smile. “If it helps, I wouldn’t have noticed!” John assured with a grin. “Did you buy it or did you get crafty?”

[nellie-elizabeth]

Once Upon a Time: A Wondrous Place (6x15)

Well, we're finally back to Jasmine and Aladdin! This was a satisfying episode, although I do have a few complaints as always.

Cons:

Emma spends this episode moping about Hook leaving her. A lot of people are pissed at Emma for believing Hook would leave, but I'm not, actually. I'll talk about that in a minute. What does sort of bother me is that nobody else chimes in and suggests that maybe there's more going on. At no point does Henry, Snow, Regina, or David think to question Hook's disappearance. I guess we can give David a pass as well, given what he's just found out. But Henry? C'mon. It's a small thing in the grand scheme, but it makes me feel strange about Hook marrying Emma. Her family very clearly doesn't respect him very much!

In the end, we learn Gideon's plan. He stole some of Emma's tears, and apparently the ears of the Savior are a potent magical force. With them, he can continue to block Hook's return to Storybrooke, until Emma agrees to help him with his mission: to kill the Black Fairy. I have so many problems with this. First of all, is Gideon no longer trying to kill Emma at all? What happened to his strange belief that he needed to be a Savior, and killing Emma was the only way to accomplish that? If all he wanted was the Black Fairy dead, why not ask for help in the first place? Also, this whole Savior tears business comes out of nowhere and connects to nothing. Why would her tears stop a portal back to Storybrooke? What sense does that make? And is this seriously the only leverage Gideon can think to use? Wouldn't it be easier to... I don't know... kidnap Emma's sleeping parental unit or Henry or something? He seems to be able to poof around with magic very easily. This whole thing seems unnecessarily convoluted.

Pros:

Very briefly, let's look at the story taking place in the magical realms. Hook, Nemo, and Liam are looking for kraken blood so they can portal back to Storybrooke. They run into Jasmine and Aladdin, who have been searching fruitlessly for Agrabah. Hook bids farewell to Nemo and Liam and continues on with Aladdin and Jasmine. They then all run into Ariel. In a series of flashbacks, we learn that Jasmine let down Agrabah by falling for Jafar's trap. He told her that Agrabah would only be safe if she married him, and she decided to submit for the good of her people. Turns out, this was all a trick so Jafar could get his hands on a magic gem, which he uses to trap Agrabah. In the present day, Jasmine realizes that she can break any curse with True Love's Kiss, so she gives in to her desire for Aladdin and kisses him. Agrabah is restored.

I really love Jasmine's character arc. She tries to do what's right for her people, and when she fails she thinks it means she doesn't deserve love until she can fix her mistake. Instead, she discovers that love can actually help her to fix that mistake. She needs to accept that she's deserving of happiness. This feels very similar to a much longer arc that Emma had to go through, to learn that it's okay to trust people and be happy. This was truly Jasmine's story, and I really liked that as well. We've already dealt with a lot of Aladdin's issues, and now it's time to see Jasmine get her due. As an added plus, Jasmine and Aladdin are very cute together. They might be the most juvenile-seeming True Loves we've ever had on this show. There's this innocence and giddiness to them, and I love how they both try and ask Killian how he thinks the other person feels. He's exasperated at being forced in the middle, but even in his distracted state, he can tell they love each other.

It was really fun to see Ariel again. I definitely wasn't expecting that. It's good to know that she and Eric are still having their happy ending, and that Ariel continues to collect strange oddities. Her and Jasmine make for an unlikely friendship, but I quite enjoyed it! I also really liked that Ariel hugged both Jasmine and Hook. Aladdin looked super confused, and indeed the fact that these three would all end up in the same place does seem mighty unlikely!

Meanwhile, Hook is still trapped and desperate to get back to Emma. Ariel gives him a shell so he can make contact across realms. He manages to get a message to Emma, telling her that he didn't leave her and is working hard to get back to her. Emma can't get a message back through to Killian, but at least now she knows that he didn't abandon her.

I want to talk about Emma for a moment. I actually don't mind it at all that she "gives up" on Hook so easily. If you'll remember, Hook actually did come very close to leaving with Captain Nemo in the last episode. Sure, he ultimately made the right choice, but first he came very close to bolting. Emma doesn't accuse him of being an awful person or anything, but she believes that when things got tough between them, he decided to bolt instead of talking it over with her. After all she's been through in her life, her abandonment issues aren't just going to poof away. As I mentioned above, it's a little irritating that nobody else thought to question Hook leaving, but all things considered, Emma's reaction makes a lot of sense.

The scene at the end where Hook speaks to Emma through the shell phone works really well. Emma was hurt and felt abandoned. Hook knew she would feel that way. The whole time he's trapped in another realm, all he can think about is getting back to Emma. Not just because he worries she's in danger from Gideon, but because Emma thinks Hook left her. Hook is desperate to tell her that's not the case. It warms my heart to know that despite a massive miscommunication between the two of them, they still know each other pretty well.

A few last tidbits: I adore the fact that Regina and Snow take Emma out drinking at Aesop's Tables, the newest bar in town. Regina sucks at getting Emma to open up, which I loved. Snow lets loose after the stress of having a baby and a sleeping curse at home, and it's great. She almost gets into a bar fight with a bunch of vikings. Ginnifer Goodwin's performance had me laughing out loud.

Henry isn't in this episode much, but when he is, he's a typical teenager: headphones in, staring at his phone. #relatable.

The last thing I'll say is that the atmosphere of this episode felt akin to the earlier seasons of the show, in a very good way. We had things like magic always coming with a price, magical McGuffins, TLK breaking a curse, travel between realms, lots of fun side characters fulfilling their side quests, some humor, some hokey villains... we had it all. This episode wasn't some sort of dramatic masterpiece, but it felt like Once Upon a Time, a show I really enjoy when it's at its best.

9/10