#or like can reattach it and stuff

[noodleshark]

I think we should have animated adaptions of live action stuff

[batz]

-

[starstuffandalotofcoffee]

will say the greatest barrier to my attempts to buy fewer things is the fact that I loathe sewing with my entire being

[majouartings]

it's strawberry season 🍓

I'll be selling this wee guy as a wooden pin, along with some other bits and pieces, at Glasgow Anime and Gaming Con this weekend! it's my first-ever time tabling at a convention, and I'm super hyped about it (and also lowkey terrified? mostly hyped though haha). looking forward to seeing you there, if you're going! if not, I'm also planning to reopen my store next week, so if you want a hedgehog pin watch that space too!

[townofcadence]

Σ(ﾟДﾟ；): Have they ever sprained or broken their leg before? How about their arm? What was the story behind it? - Artair

Physical Details Σ(ﾟДﾟ；): Have they ever sprained or broken their leg before? How about their arm? What was the story behind it?

Artair laughed and rubbed at his neck. "Man, what a Question to pick for me." He then wriggled his prosthetic, just enough for the metal to rattle. "I would say I've definitely broken an arm, but that one's obvious. Though honestly, what bone haven't I broken is a better question."

He shrugged now. His hand gesticulated as he continued, moving between waving and almost a counting motion. "I mean, as a dumb kid I was pretty outdoorsy and liked climbing things like tall-ass trees. And as a dumber teenager I was exploring some... well, definitely not osha-compliant buildings. Which is a thing I still do. I don't think I can count the number of times I accidentally rolled my ankle on a case. Oh, and that isn't even counting learning parkour! I was determined, and I think for at least the first year or two I was half covered in bandages from cuts and scrapes. I definitely fell wrong a few times and fucked up my wrist or ankle for a bit. Thank the stars I was a fast learner, or I think I woulda given the old man an aneurysm." Artair chuckled again, this time with a tiny smile and fondness in the sound.

"Honestly though, it's more embarrassing when it happens some way that's almost--- mundane, you know? I sprained my ankle a couple of years ago because I wasn't paying enough attention, and stepped off the sidewalk by accident. The height difference or something got me and I fell really hard. Had to stay off that foot for weeks. I felt like such a doofus. Walking; worst anyone's ever done it."

[penny-anna]

Coming up on the end of S2 of transformers and there are a couple of scenes where Starscream is shown repairing the other Decepticons.

I think what happened is that early in the war guys started coming to him like 'hey starscream you're a scientist right? Can you reattach my arm?' and initially he was like Ew no I'm not a doctor I'm a xenobiologist leave me alone but after a while it clicked that these idiots think his space PHD makes him an authority on all branches of science and he loves being in charge of stuff so he's just rolling with it.

[oddly-specific-hermit-headcanons]

My personal Hermit doctor headcanons, since I’ve been seeing some other people do them.

First of all, wounds that would be life threatening or generally just really bad (broken back/neck, major organ damage, loss of limb, etc) will heal up after respawn, so the Hermits don’t usually have to worry about it. This is also helpful when it comes to donating things to Cleo (whether it be for herself or their armor stands) or for when Jevin needs a few extra bones. On rare occasion the injury won’t fully heal, but it’ll typically be minor enough to be easily treatable by a doctor. Anything that isn’t super major (or an illness) doesn’t go away after respawn, since they’re still treatable without it.

Now, on to the actual doctors.

Doc: Actually has a full medical degree, and is the usual person the other Hermits go to for injuries, illnesses, and any standard checkups. Broke a bone? Caught a bug while on another server? Doc’s got you covered. And when it comes to their local robot or animated mannequins he has plenty of experience with robotics and crafts. He also keeps note of anything special individual Hermits need when it comes to their health.

Gem: She has plenty of medical training, and is very knowledgeable when it comes to fixing up injuries with limited resources. Her neighbors usually go to her for broken bones and flus when Doc’s too busy. She also knows a lot when it comes to something like ripped fins or strained wings.

Cub: Not (legally) trained in anything medical, but who cares about legality? This is Hermitcraft! Not the first person you’d want to go to for your injuries or ailments, but he’s happy to help when needed. He also knows pretty much everything when it comes to Scar’s health and medications, and for some reason he’s really good at performing gender affirming surgeries.

Cleo: She can’t do much when it comes to anyone who isn’t dead, but if you need stitches or a quick limb reattachment she’s got you covered, just don’t be alarmed that the stitches are done with crafting supplies. She also helps Joe out with Juppet injuries and their craftsmanship comes in handy when it comes to anything Keralis or Wels need. They also help out Etho when he glitches really badly and needs some replacements.

Hypno: First off, don’t go to him for health care. Second off, he’s going to need something in return. On occasion it’ll be something like a gold coin or rare artifact, but it’s always a risk that it’ll be your soul. And you don’t want to sign any of his IOUs. Even if you manage to get anything out of your appointment without selling your soul away, you might still end up cursed. He can do top surgery, though. He actually did his own, even though you shouldn’t take his word for how safe that was.

Zedaph: If you’re going to Zed for medical care, you should stop and think about how crazy you’re being. Technically, he can do doctor stuff, but only if you want doctor stuff of the mad scientist variety. And while he could give you an x-ray for that broken bone, he’d prefer to use you for some unethical experiments, instead. He also shouldn’t be trusted with any sort of medical equipment, that’s how the surprise vivisection happened. Also, no one tell Impulse about the surprise vivisection.

.

[purple-goo-writes]

Sooo been listening Mr. Creeps Park Ranger stories on YouTube and welll...

What if Danny became a park ranger in one of the national parks in Illinois near Amity? Could be a real National part or one made up.

After all he can't be an astronaut and maybe Sam dragging him to conservation rallies an other stuff influenced him. Sure he likes Tinkering and has a few patents like his parents do, but he loved the stars more and being able to see the clear stars from the Fire Watch Tower helped.

Plus all the weird and supernatural things that happen there, well Danny is as supernatural as one can get and at least it isn't a squishy human having to deal with something like a wendigo or rapid bear. Some things he can bargain or reason with, though others he had to either detour others from that area or sometimes Deal with himself.

(Sometimes he was glad he was already half dead and could heal, after reattached an arm. Looks like he had to add new rules to the book to teach the newbies)

So he has been at this for a few decades now, officially "retired" from hero work but not from dealing with the supernatural. By now he knew how to deal with the fae that made their home in the Grove near by, how to avoid certain entities or bargain with others or thr steps you needed to take to avoid confrontation, knew how to detour hikers and campers from the more blood thirsty residents of the Park and rescue those unlucky enough to lose their way from the trails.

Sadly he couldn't always save those who got lost, especially if they weren't near his tower when they went missing. But he tried his best.

He also had to deal with his fair share of Paranormal/Supernatural/Cryptid Hunters, groups of teens and young adults (sometimes older adults too) eager to find anything strange for clout. But most only found death if not careful. He had to rescue many from the more Ravenous residents. It was never fun for all parties involved and just annoying for Danny.

But his years of experience were going to be put to the test when dealing with this group of amateur hunters all nearly identical with their black hair and blue eyes (though only two didn't share this the youngest and the black teen who looked like he wished his siblings hadn't dragged him with them) who were there with a tired man Danny's age who shared their hair ad eye color. The Waynes (why did that sound familiar? He didn't leave the forest much, so didn't kep up with media) apparently were going on a small vacation/Camping trip and the eldest heard about all the cryptid and supernatural stories and wanted to check it out.

Danny could already tell he was going to have to fish one or two of them out of the golute of one of the beasties in the deeper parts of the Forest.

[thekoalapastriesbakery]

BUZZED!

formula one x male!reader

request: Okay okay, here me out, Male!reader gets a buzzcut and the drivers find out via like instagram or something and they get really whiny abt it.

summary: you get a buzz cut without telling your boyfriend

warnings: initial instagram post is just for reference + reader only posts whichever one applies to you most!, swearing, playful arguing

contains: alex albon, lance stroll, + lewis hamilton

youruser has added to their story!

written: time for a change ✂️

alex albon:

"WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOO?" alex yelped as soon as he walked through the door of your shared apartment.

you had just been lounging on the sofa, scrolling through social media to pass the time. you jumped slightly at your boyfriend's shouting. "what? what did i do?"

alex rounded the corner into the living room and pointed at your hair with a pout.

"that! what did you?!"

"alex, i just cut my hair." you chuckled, staying slumped on the sofa.

alex whined. "how could you do this to me???"

"you're so dramatic, oh my fucking god." you rolled your eyes lightheartedly. as much as you loved your boyfriend, he sure knew how to be dramatic. "it's not that bad?"

"yes it is!" alex insisted. "what am i supposed to do now when i want your attention?!"

"ask for it like a normal person?"

"it's like you don't even know me." alex huffed, flopping down on the sofa beside you.

you laughed quietly and put your phone away. "it will grow back, y'know?"

your boyfriend tilted his head to look at you with a a pout. "and what am i supposed to do until then?"

"cope?"

he whined again and poked you in the ribs, making you squirm slightly. "you're so mean."

"yeah, well, it's not getting reattached," you argued. alex ran his hand over the shaved hair with a sigh. "better get used to it, baby."

"fine ... but never again, okay?"

"no promises."

lance stroll:

the second you walked into your boyfriend's hotel room, he was right in front of you. lance crossed his arms and pouted at you.

"uh-oh," you murmured.

a sheepish smile crossed your lips. you tentatively stepped forward until you were close enough to pull lance into a hug, which you were very pleased to say he didn't reject. hopefully that meant he wasn't too upset.

"why did you have to get a buzz cut?" lance whined, pushing your shoulder.

you hummed. the truth of it was that the haircut had been an impulsive action rather than a conscious decision, but ... well, it was done now. "it's just hair, baby."

"no, it's not," lance argued with a pout. "it's your hair. which you let me play with and wash and put bows in and stuff."

"yeah, i hope you understand i would literally never let anybody else touch my hair as much as you do," you pointed out. was a part of you hoping to distract lance with a sweet statement? perhaps. but he didn't need to know that.

lance paused for a moment. he seemed torn between being sad and whiny about your hair, and being happy about what you said. sue him. he liked to feel special. "... then why did you cut it?"

"because i wanted to?" you shrugged. your hands dropped to lance's waist and tugged him closer, making him squeak quietly. "it's summer and it's hot and i don't need a fur coat on my head?"

"but what about the bows?" lance pouted at you.

a little grin tugged at your lips. "well, i can put them in your hair?"

your boyfriend seemed to short circuit at the idea of you putting bows in his hair. his lips parted in surprise, before his expression morphed into a goofy grin. "okay."

lewis hamilton:

the first reaction you got from lewis about your haircut was a text. he must've already been close to home, but apparently he felt the need to freak out about you getting a buzz cut as early as possible.

you cut your hair?

... yes?

it hadn't taken you long to reply. a minute at most. evidently, that was long enough for your boyfriend to get to your door. he flung it open, a dramatic frown on his face. "why?"

"hello to you too," you muttered, standing up to greet your boyfriend with a kiss. "because it was getting in my eyes, lew."

"so?" lewis raised an eyebrow at you.

you scoffed playfully, thinking he was just having a joke and not being serious. "so i couldn't see."

"so?" lewis repeated.

not joking, apparently.

"i can see?" he poked at the now-short strands with a wary expression. "i'd lead you places??"

"lewis."

your boyfriend pouted. he let out a dramatic sigh and turned away from you. "fine, i guess you like your vision more than you love me, then."

knowing he was just milking it, you wrapped your arms around lewis from behind and kissed his temple cheekily. "yes! glad you understand."

"... brat."

"love you too, lew."

©thekoalapastriesbakery :: please do not copy or rewrite my work on any platform !!

author's note: anon i am SO hearing you out (can you guys tell i love whiny boys yet)

comments + reblogs appreciated!

taglist: @raizelchrysanderoctavius @crispysoup318 @op-81-lvr-reblogs @ncrsbrg @spoonfulofmilo @justaf1girl @widow-cevans

[w2hoonki]

h.d | jealous over a guitar (or not)

mdni! smut !

you were so thankful for dating a guitar player, the way his hands moved, the way his hands were veiny, just the definition of attractive. the only thing that bugged you was the fact he was ALWAYS playing guitar, maybe he thought he was being romantic but the way he fingered that damn guitar had you needy for his fingers.

it was a normal date night for the both of you, he was strumming gently on his guitar and you listened and watched. he was normally touchy around you but he when he had his guitar forget about physical touch, he just loved playing, it was his passion. "baby can we do something" you mumble. taesan smiled at you and nodded. he pulled you onto his lap and you felt the way his rough fingers touched you under your shirt.

"mmm you are so pretty tonight" he mumbled against your neck. you couldn't help but notice the way he had his eyes lidded as if he waited for you to be close to him. you felt his bulge press against your thigh as he held you. you always noticed whenever he played guitar he would never not touch you afterwards. "baby i'm so hard, you look so pretty watching me play." he groaned as he grinded up into you. your lips attached to his. the kiss was rough and sensual as his tongue entered your mouth, he tasted of oranges and mint, his favorite cologne on.

"baby" you whimpered against his lips, from the neediness you both had for each other. you couldn't help but buck your hips into his, he moaned against your lips as you quickened your pace, the knot in your stomach growing with each thrust. he loved the way you felt on top of him, especially the way your thighs wrapped around his waist as you grinded down onto him. his fingers pulled at the bottom of your shirt wanting you bare and easier to touch. you pulled off your shirt as fast as you could reattaching your lips to his as you both continued kissing and grinding.

he gripped your hips hard before cumming hard in his pants, your core releasing along with him. he pulled you closer as he kissed you harder while trying to strip himself. his hands unzipped his jeans as he pulled them off showing the cum covering his pelvis. his hands pulled your shorts off as he kissed you hard. his fingers grazed your folds before pushing them in deep, his roughness touching all of your spots.

"you're so tight for me" he groaned as you watched his cock harden all the way, you loved the way he was reactive towards you. you loved the way he smiled at you when he fingered you knowing all he wanted was to stuff himself deep inside of you. you loved the way he fit inside of you, hitting you in the deepest parts you know no one else could rub against as well as taesan did.

"mmm come on cover my rings in your cum baby" he grunted while kissing your neck. his rings became warm from the area the touched as your slick and cum covered them from your last orgasm. before you knew it you were cumming hard around his fingers and he loved the visual. you moaned hard as you visualized the way he played guitar and the way his fingers move on the guitar causing your peak to push over more.

"ready?" he asked as he pushed your folds open with his fingers. you nod before he slowly starts entering you, the girth of him always causing you to clench down. when he finally filled you completely, he kissed you softly before starting to fuck you. his pace started slow but neither of you were up for slow. his pace quickened as he fucked you hitting all the right spots, his hands held you by the hips, moving to your ass to squeeze every once and a while. whenever he gripped your ass you always clenched harder around him.

"you like that huh? clenching me like a goddamn whore" he groaned as he slapped your ass, his rings hurting more. his hand rubbed where he slapped and where it looked the most red. your eyes rolled back as he slapped you again, your pussy clenching down around him. you could feel him twitch as he watched his hand hit your ass, shaking it, he loved the visual. his eyes rolled back as his mind repeated the scene.

"come on baby i'm close" he groaned into your ear. all you could was moan out as he fucked you harder, trying to reach his high and give you yours. "mmm me too baby" you whimpered into the sheets. your fingers intertwine with the sheets as he thrusts hard twice before filling your core with his cum. your thighs shook the body as you came hard around his dick.

he stayed inside you for a while before pulling out and taking a picture of his cum dripping out of you. his fingers push his cum back in as he watches closely. the way your pussy clenches around his fingers, the way his cum looked dripping out onto your thighs before he gathered it and pushed it back into you. you felt like a fuck toy as he just watched the way his cum filled you. you tried to keep it in you before pushing it back out. he chuckled before sucking on your clit. his tongue gathered his cum along with yours as he ate you out. your thighs shook pitifully as you were soon close to another orgasm.

"come on baby one more, you taste so good with me" taesan smiled against your clit. your thighs shook and wrapped around his face as you came once more. when he pulled back you couldn't help but clench down, seeing his chin covered in your arousal and his lips red from kissing your clit repeatedly.

"good girl" he said before kissing your lips and taking you to the bathroom.

[mdelle-kb]

there was a post on reddit about Caldarus talking about the Caldosians and the Aldarians. i posted my response but i wanted to post here too. here's what Caldarus says:

"The Caldosians and the Aldarians are known to share a common ancestral origin. The Caldosians... and the Aldarians. Descendants of those who lived and worshiped here during my time, I am sure of it. And yet, those who would become the Caldosians sailed east to form their empire while the Alda remained to found Aldaria. Why..?"

now, i don't remember much dialogue and i'm going to be relying on what the wiki.gg website had written (which doesn't have a lot of dialogue tbh). but this isn't the first time the Caldosians and Aldarians are mentioned (spoilers below!) (also i've editted this post to add more theorycrafting about the witches!)

here's what i know of the two nations:

both have their own archeology sets, but the Aldarians have TWO sets (Aldarian and Alda sets) while the Caldosians only have one (the Caldosian set)

the Alderians and Alda sets are only found in the west of the map (The Narrows and Sweetwater Farm respectively). the Mines is also located in The Narrows

the Caldosian set is coincidentally only found in the east of the map (The Eastern Road)

the Aldarian and Alda sets are listed separately. i assume the Aldarians was the ancient civilization while Alda is more recent (Elsie says that the Alda Feather Pendant is still used in some places in Aldaria)

Caldarus' home/temple is found in the east as well, just north of The Eastern Road. There's also stuff about the Witch Queens (in the Western Ruins, you find the Ancient set). there's been datamined info about the Witch Queens (like furniture) so i assume the game will expand on them in the future

when digging stuff up, we can find swords from both sets, military gauntlets + war banners from the Aldarian set, and breastplates from the Caldosian set. naturally, i assume that the two nations had a war, and ancient Mistria was one of the battlefields, possibly before Mistria was named Mistria

Dell comments on the Aldarian sword, asking if it was from the "War of the Lillies." you can also find Statuettes of Caldarus in the Eastern Road, which is a Caldosian artifact

we also see two dragon statues in Mistria: one in our farm, one in the mines. BOTH were broken and forgotten

the one in our farm was hidden behind a tree and the head has fallen off. we had to reattach his head. this is confirmed to be Caldarus' shrine

the one in the mines is broken and remains so. according to Eiland, the statue wasn't there prior to the earthquake. i assume it was hidden behind all the dirt, and the earthquake unearthed the statue. like how the teleport chalice was unearthed when we unlock the Stone Refinery. HOWEVER, we never got confirmation that this is also Caldarus' shrine!

Eiland states that Caldarus is the mythological guardian of Mistria, and that their ancient ancestors used to worship the statues. clearly, the statues haven't been tended to in years. Mistria doesn't know that Caldarus is real, and people in the past didn't either, as Caldarus was still in slumber. it appears modern-day Mistria doesn't worship Caldarus anymore either

from Caldarus' quote, the Caldosians and Aldarians came long after Caldarus' went to sleep. when Caldarus was still active, the two nations were most likely still one nation

my theory of Mistria's and Caldarus' timeline:

long ago, the Caldosians and the Aldarians lived together as one nation. they both worshipped Caldarus while he was still active

Caldarus goes into slumber at least before the "Dark Ages." the seals in the mines play a major part in this, but idk if he went to sleep because of the seals or not

at some point, the Aldarians start worshipping another dragon (we can find Unknown Dragon Statuettes around the map; they have no specific spawn locations). the Caldosians, of course, did not like that and were on Caldarus' side (Statuettes of Caldarus, and they're called the Caldosians lol). this may be how the one nation split into two

they went to war over their worshipped dragons. i assume this is the "War of the Lillies" Dell mentioned

the Caldosians lost, and had to sail east to form their empire, while the Aldarians went on to establish Aldaria

Caldarus remains a small "mythical" dragon that guards Mistria. at least in Alderia, anyway. the Unknown Dragon (or the Alderians' dragon) also gets lost to the ages

because Caldarus was already in slumber before the Caldosians + Alderians, he was not present during the war, but the Dragon Priestess(es?) was. she recorded the past and stored them in Caldarus' temple. how the temple remains untouched idk, but answer is probably magic

Aldaria may not worship any other dragons in present times, because Eiland doesn't recognize the Unknown Dragon Statuettes and neither do we (we are not native Mistrians, after all). i think we'd hear about other dragons if Aldaria still worshipped them (more on that in the Witch Queens section)

the Deep Woods gets blocked with large, thorny vines at some point after the burial of March + Olric's parents and Hayden's grandma

earthquake happens, weakening the seals and waking up Caldarus from his slumber. weakening the seals also brings the magical essences back into Mistria. it also uncovers the statue in the mines + the seals underground

we move in! who knows why Caldarus chose us to help him.......

as for the Witch Queens + the mines...

the Witches/Witch Queens may have helped the really ancient Alderians in sealing Caldarus' powers. the Alderians may or may not have been involved, but the Witches definitely were because the tablets are written in Witchspeak

Witchspeak was how humans and dragons communicated to one another long, long ago, according to the legends

to unlock the Fire Seal, a Sealing Scroll was needed. upon unlocking the seal, the Sealing Scroll ends up draining your character to 0 HP + Stamina, essentially trapping them in place (Dragon Priestess even calls out that it's a trap)

it appears that whoever made the seals did not want the seal-breakers to proceed to the final seal to restore Caldarus' powers/memories, and/or dissuade future seal-breakers from continuing

the Dragon Priestess may be sealed within the depths of the mines as well, and was awakened after the earthquake too

the Ancient artifact set is related to the Witch Queens. they are only found in the Western Ruins. there's also a Dragon Priestess statue in that area that we can't go to yet... was the Dragon Priestess a Witch/Witch Queen?

OR... is the Dragon Priestess also a human form of the Alderians' dragon/the Unknown Dragon? because she and Calderus share similar face + arm markings! it may make sense why she wants the seals broken too: she wants her power restored, but is indirectly helping Caldarus. whether she knows this or not, i'm not sure

someone on reddit added an interesting theory saying that the witches BETRAYED the Aldarians by sealing their dragon as well after sealing Caldarus, which i find very interesting and plausible! because of this, Aldarians' dragon/the Unknown Dragon ends up being lost to time. Caldarus at least was an already established guardian long before the Caldosians/Aldarians existed. the Unknown Dragon never got the chance to make its influence

for this, i imagine that the Witch Queens ended up influencing Aldaria more than their dragon down the line, because we still have practicing witches in present-day who understands Witchspeak (like Juniper), but there's no mention of modern-day dragon worship as of now

i don't think anyone's gonna read this but! whatever i just really needed to throw this out there. i'm probably wrong but it's fun to theorycraft methinks

[slyfire]

Touchstarved Origins

Okay, so there's been a lot of divisive opinions over the replacement of 'The Hound' background with 'The Exile' background. I have my own thoughts that I wanted to express on the situation, as well as the origin system as a whole.

TLDR: I'm not against 'The Exile' existing, but I do think it's the least interesting and the weakest of the four backgrounds. I'm also firmly against the replacement of 'The Hound'. I also want to talk about how I would add/fix the current backgrounds. Also these are just my opinions - I'm not speaking objectively.

Spoilers ahead!

What's the point of the Origin system?

There's two main reasons for the current origin system.

First of all, each background has a 'perk', which each background can gather different types of information about the world and the love interests. This info may effect player decision-making.

Secondly, the backgrounds allow for roleplay and MC creating. This aspect is a huge part of the fandom, and RSS encourages people to make OCs with the backgrounds as a 'guide'.

How well is Origin system implemented?

I think it's important to keep in mind that it's only a demo out right now. That being said, as of these demos, I do not think the origin system has been implemented very well.

The 'perks' the backgrounds give and the story/dialogue differences are pretty minimal. This means that the way the Origin system currently works, the don't really meet the intentions behind the backgrounds.

The Exile & The Hound

Welp, onto the issue that inspired this post. First of all, I believe that 'The Hound' shouldn't have been replaced at all. IMO it was the weakest in terms of implementation, but that doesn't mean it should have been removed, just made better.

People have been building their MCs/OCs for years at this point, and it's straight up not fair for people to have their backgrounds taken away for seemingly no reason. There was no communication from RSS or even a survey from RSS asking about changing up the backgrounds.

I've also seen people say the backgrounds are 'similar enough', which I can't fully agree with. They're both survivalists, but the contexts are just too different - One is survival in in a socal world, and the other is survival in 'the wild'. Also, I think the biggest appeal to a lot of people about 'The Hound' was the criminal edge and the social intuition, which in a game about character interaction, is a big loss.

There's also the 'balance' of the original three backgrounds. While I don't think the OG backgrounds were the epitome of character building, they were different in the 'right' ways. For example: 'The Hound' is street-smart and familiar with lowtown's entertainment district, 'The Alchemist' is book-smart and somewhat familiar with lowtown's entertainment district, and 'The Unnamed' most likley has some education and isn't familiar with lowtown's entertainment district. They've also all been betrayed, which adds on to their desperation. This also means they learn different information that is relevent to the LIs (eg, 'The Unnamed senses familiar about Kuras, but 'The Alchemist' notices no magic from the reattached limb).

So, what about 'The Exile'? Backstory-wise, there's the isolation of 'The Unnamed' and a parental figure of 'The Alchemist', but no 'betrayal'. It does take some the the social intuition stuff from 'The Hound' (eg. "I've learned to recognise a leader when I see one" about Ais) but for a character that's described to live away from other people (apart from the hermit), it doesn't really fit or make sense. The 'perk' of an 'uncanny intuition' is very similar in flavour to 'The Unnamed' - I can't see why 'The Unnamed' wouldn't also have the red choice to 'move immediately'. 'The Exile' is also fluent in multiple languages, but that seems like something 'The Alchemist' would know.

In short, 'The Exile' feels like a mish-mash of the original backgrounds, lacking a strong identity - both storywise and gameplay-wise. It has qualities that already belong to a background or qualities that should belong to another background. If the goal was to have more 'cohesive' backgrounds, we ended up with a redundant background.

That being said, I do think there's a place for 'The Exile', but as it is right now, it needs a major rework.

Sidenote, blind/new players of Touchstarved aren't going to know what soulless are when selecting the backgrounds, so making it a 'selling point' of the background isn't a great move.

Things I Would Add to the Backgrounds

These are just some moments I could see happening with events that happen in the demo + feel in-tune with the background.

'The Unnamed':

I'll note it's hard to think of moments for 'The Unnamed', since we lack information on how their religion and temple function.

I think 'The Unnamed' should be the weakest fighter out of the backgrounds. Should probably never feel comfortable in altercations.

Should be the most 'aware' on what their curse does to people. Could come with different dialogue during Mr. Chocky's scene or Leander's 'hold back' scene.

Just more references to 'The Unnamed's' old faith. It was such a big part of their life, that it feels wrong to know so little.

Less knowledgeable of 'normal' society. They say the entertainment district in unfamiliar to them, but we don't actually see them go about the place much differently. For example, they shouldn't assume Vere is a sex worker because of the 'parted pink curtains'.

'The Hound':

I actually don't think 'The Hound' needs to be some super proficient combatant, but they should be the most compatent when caught off guard and general 'physical' situations. For example, they don't get knocked to the floor by the 'lowlife' in the bar, and/or their escape from the soulless is more skilful (not just trying to open a door and failing). Mhin would still show up of course.

Let. Them. Steal. The best moment I can think of is after they left Kuras's clinic, they pickpocket someone and use the money to buy food. I think it would make sense because they're already thinking about money in that scene.

Related to the last point, but 'The Hound' should be the most 'comfortable' finanally. Unlike the other backgrounds who have likely not been finanally responsible for themselves, 'The Hound' is used to poverty and low spending power (since most of the money they did have was for a cure). And of course, they have the means to steal. Maybe alter MC's lines about being worried about money.

'The Alchemist':

Not a great physical fighter, but as they get more settled in Eridia, having 'The Alchemist' preparing things such as protection enchantments. If taken off guard, they'll be weak, but if they can prepare for an encounter and such, they'll be in a better condition. That's to say, I don't mind them being 'weak' in the demo.

Some more general history stuff. For example, 'The Alchemist' thinking about how old Eridia is.

'The Exile':

I think if you're going to add a choice to fight the soulless, and a new backgound that's 'familiar' with soulless, I think it's fair to say the MC should have lived in the encounter. It's not like Mhin wouldn't have swooped in to kill the soulless anyways.

Final Thoughts

I do hope RSS come out and explain why 'The Hound' was removed, since I doubt they can add it back in without adding a lot more work the finished game. This also isn't made as a dig at anyone who likes 'The Exile', I just have a Thoughts™.

Also, please tell me if I've missed anything I should have mentioned or if I've said something incorrect!

[anemhoez]

Otherworldly…

Boothill/AFAB Reader

tags: @bokukenmakuroo

WARNINGS: unprotected sex I GUESS?? he doesn’t ejaculate and its made of fine grade silicone sooo????

A/N: in where Boothill gets a check-up 🤭 ok ok so the recent quest let us know more about him and this has been in the drafts for a while so there will be inaccuracies hehe and alot left to my imagination, yes im a robot fucker HEHE! also please imagine my man with the prettiest most perfect robot dick you’ve ever seen, lord i just know its big…oh also im not a robotics or programming expert but they’re in space and stuff im sure tech like this exists in their world SOMEHOW loll

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

“Hold still, it should only take a few seconds.” you said to Boothill as he fidgeted under your touch. “I’m ticklish doc,” he said with a sharp toothed smile as you replaced one of the many sensory devices on the metal skin at his shoulder.

“The famous interstellar galaxy ranger being subdued by a bit of tickling? Don’t let your enemies find out.” Once finished, you reattached the cover and made sure it was flush with the other metal parts of his body. He truly was a technological marvel, sleek and efficient with not one line of code or piece of hardware going to waste. You considered yourself lucky to be his technician, a job offer you were pleasantly surprised by.

“You think I’ve got enemies?” he asked with sincerity, not believing that there were people out there who actually didn’t like him, or even targeted him. “I’ve seen the reports Boot.” you quickly pulled up a program on the screen in front of you to begin configuring the new sensor.

“Thats all��alternative facts, darlin.” you simply rolled your eyes and input some commands, ignoring his silly statement. “You say your synesthesia beacon was hacked?” you asked for reassurance, not once looking away from the screen and you heard as he sucked his teeth behind you.

“It sure forkin’ was, you think you can fix it?” You knew you were a great technician, fantastic even. But taking down an IPC virus? That was something you’d need a few days to crack. “I can try,” you cocked your head to the side, your statement causing him to jump up off the examination table in excitement.

“But aside from that and the sensor malfunction, is there anything else you need looking at?” you asked as you typed quickly. “You might as well get everything looked at before you head back out.” He stayed quiet though, not answering your question but instead turning away from you.

“Boothill?” you asked turning to him, realizing he was awfully quiet for someone who just jumped up for joy. He rubbed the back of his neck, “We have, doctor and patient confidentiality right?” he asked in a low gravely voice, as if someone would be able to hear him outside of your workshop.

“Dammit boothill! I’m a mechanic not a doctor!” you exclaimed absolutely sick of him calling you by a title you didn’t have credentials for. “So no we don’t but,” you stood up and walked over to him, turning his body around in a circle looking him over to see if it was something visible on him you could fix right away. “I’m not going to go around and talk about it if that’s what you mean.”

You placed a hand on your hip, “I may not look it cause I’m usually covered in grease and keep my workshop a mess, but I do consider myself a professional you know.” he sighed and looked at you, “Of course you are! You’re one of the best machinists I’ve ever had, it’s just. Aw fudge how do I even say this?!”

He resigned himself to feeling foolish for the worries he had. “I’m uh, having trouble with…intimacy.” he finally said, meeting your eyes. “Well, I’m also not a match maker so…” you looked at him with an eyebrow raised. He sighed and held his head in his hands, “Finding a partner isn’t the issue, it’s when I’m with someone. I can’t really feel it, you understand?”

You tried to picture it in your mind. Could cyborgs even achieve an orgasm? And even if they could, could they ejaculate? The scholar in you was fascinated, but the friend and professional in you was ready to help in any way you could.

You grabbed a tool from your bench quickly and headed back towards him. “Drop ‘em.” you said matter of factly pointing to his pants and he clutched his groin in reaction to you. “You fudgin’ joking? Wait, come on now-“ he stuttered through his words as a blush formed on his face. “Boot, do you want me to help you or not?” you crossed your arms, “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, you can trust me.”

He had never had someone besides the technician who affixed his broken body to metal even look down there. He hesitated but given just how important this was to him, he sighed and dropped his trousers after undoing his belt. His cock was…to say the least…impressive. It even bobbed and twitched in a way similar to that of a person made of flesh and bone. Upon seeing it through the eyes of a machinist however, you started to notice just how intricately crafted it was.

“Aeons, just what exactly were they thinking with detail like this?” you asked with a small giggle before taking his appendage in your hand and detaching it from his body. “I’m not a love machine, if that’s what you’re insinuating sweetheart.” He explained almost immediately, as if it’s something that needed defending. He shuffled back into his pants, “This iron body of mine was made for combat, and revenge.” You shrugged playfully and raised an eyebrow, “So you didn’t ask them for this cock then?” you joked, holding it in your hand and testing its weight. “Alright, alright just…see what you can do?” He huffed and pulled his hat down over his eyes in embarrassment.

You began disassembling the object, looking for any visible damage. “You keeping it clean and oiled?” you ask and he just sighs, “This is so embarrassing but yes. I perform regular maintenance on myself weekly.”

“Only weekly?” you teased and he rolled his eyes, “Okay okay, I’ll stop.” you reassembled everything and took the device over to your computer, plugging a wire into the hidden port you found

“Let’s see what…oh wow!” you yelped as you examined the device’s programming. “What an interesting piece of tech!” you said with a smile. Now you were the one blushing. “What?” he said and came over to examine the code with you, only seeing an unfamiliar mess of text. “Is it broken?!”

You input a commend into the terminal and the appendage began thrusting on its own. “Quite the opposite actually, did you know it had this many modes?” You typed away and the device now vibrated so violently it rolled off of the desk and onto the floor. “I should’ve guessed what extreme vibration meant.” you picked it up and held it with both hands.

For some reason, seeing you holding it like you were about to jerk it off made him stare. “No I didn’t, but that’s not the issue I’m having. I’m having trouble really feeling, if you catch my drift?” he said and looked away again while coughing awkwardly.

“You mean having an orgasm?” You placed the metallic phallus on the desk with a loud thud. “I can check if you have any software updates, and maybe come up with something of my own.” you turned to him, “If you don’t mind leaving it here with me to tinker with it.” you said with a playful smirk. That was all he needed to hear as he turned to head out, “I’ve never been without it for long so, just be gentle okay?” he said as he headed out. You immediately turned towards him, “Hey! Just what do you think I’m gonna do with it?!”

************

You had stayed up late the past couple of nights, modding the mechanical cock. If your professor had told you all those years ago in university that you’d be working on an interstellar cowboy’s robotic dick, you probably would’ve screamed. But here you were, losing sleep to help a client yet again. You had reviewed so many lines of code that you were even seeing it whenever you closed your eyes.

“Warming mode?” you whispered to yourself and looked over at the cock half expecting it to shoot off into the ceiling, but nothing happened. You reached out and grabbed it, feeling a light warmth to it. “Oh!” you said out loud as you held it with both hands, the warm appendage oddly soothing in your grip. You rubbed the smooth artificial skin, gunmetal gray in color and detailed with thick veins. The smoothness of it was thanks to the layer of silicone skin that felt so much like the real thing it almost scared you. Not to heavy, but not too light either, almost the perfect weight and girth. A devious fleeting thought flashed in your mind, of how it could possibly feel inside of you.

You shook the thoughts from your head immediately and put it down, finally turning off your computer and heading to bed to get the rest you so desperately needed.

************

Boothill arrived a few days later in much better spirits. “Well? How’s my pecker?” he said loudly with his arms out as he walked over to you. You shook your head and grabbed a tool to reattach it to him. “This thing’s a monster.” you said tiredly and helped him with his pants once the device was back on his body. You observed how he adjusted himself in his pants, he was no different from someone with an actual dick in that regard either. Another one of those debaucherous thoughts came to your mind as you looked him up an down. Thats when you realized just how fucking attractive he was.

“Anyway, I adjusted some things so you don’t accidentally kill anyone.” You explained the various functions and modes, telling him the restrictions you put on certain settings so no one would get seriously hurt while fucking him. “Yeah I’d hate to burn someone’s uh, insides.”

“I also wanna see if I can get your beacon working again.” You handed him a wire and he connected it to a port on his neck. You started the download and waited for the hack to work. You looked at the cowboy who was currently smiling at you.

“I can’t thank you enough doc- uh Y/n.,” You smiled back and waved him off, “It was nothing, I’m happy to help.” you started re-organizing your tools as his software updated. “Bet you’re just dying to see if it worked, I don’t mind testing it out right now.” he suggested and took his hat off, placing it on your desk gently. Of course you’d want to know if your tinkering actually worked, but you knew the only way to test it was for him to…well…pleasure himself.

“Sure, you can use the bathroom and test it out. Let me know how it felt, in detail.” you said as a slight heat crept up your body. He looked in the direction of the bathroom, a smile spreading on his lips. “Actually, I was hoping you’d want to test it out, with me?”

His words shot straight to your core, your stomach jumping with sudden anticipation. Your cheeks went flush and you hoped you didn’t look as flustered as you felt. “Are you sure? Wouldn’t that be a little uh, inappropriate?” you put down your tools and turned to look at him. You inched closer and closer, knowing you weren’t about to pass up the offer. After all, it was your duty as a scientist wasn’t it?

He chuckled and started moving closer as well, “What’s so inappropriate about making sure your hard work pays off?” He was but a breath away and reached out to grab your hand and you let him intertwine his fingers with yours, his robotic hand surprisingly gentle. “In all honesty, I thought about it while I was working on…it.” He moaned out loudly, “That’s so fucking hot.” he said, stopping when he realized he finally cursed properly.

“Looks like your beacon is fixed,” you pulled the wire from his neck gently, “Don’t go getting hacked again.” you teased and his hands came to rest on your waist. “You’ll fix me though? Won’t ya?” he leaned in, closing the small gap between you two. You moved to wrap your arms around his neck and mumbled a soft “Yes.” into the kiss as he lifted you up.

He walked the both of you to the workbench that was high enough so that you were perfectly fitted in his embrace. His strong yet gentle hands trailed up your back and under your shirt, his mouth hot on yours as the two of you shared an intense kiss.

You allowed him to pull your shirt off of you, briefly interrupting the kiss. “You’ve got such great control of your mobility module.” you said in praise and he moved in to kiss at the exposed flesh now available to him. His tongue licked a trail along your collar bones to your neck, “Can you, taste? “ He chuckled against your skin as he sucked, parting your legs before pulling away. “Sure can.” he whispered gruffly in your ear before bending down and slotting between your legs.

You hesitated a bit when you saw his sharp teeth, worried about your sensitive skin down there. But as soon as he buried himself into your cunt you threw your head back, letting the pleasure take over and the worries fade.

He moaned, the highly sensitive sensors on his tongue allowing him to fully enjoy your taste. You tugged at his hair, moving it out of his face to get a better look at him. He met your gaze and pulled away, his elongated tongue shrinking down to its regular size impressively.

“And you say you’re not a love machine,” you teased and wrapped your legs around his neck. You wiped at the corner of his mouth and he opened it to suck on your thumb, “Mmh, I can be your love machine,” he said before moving back to work his tongue along your folds. You watched it extend in real time as he dove in deeper inside of you, spreading your legs widers to get his artificial tongue as deep as he could. You felt him so deep inside, an unfamiliar but delicious feeling, making you let out a loud whimper at the intensity of it all.

He snaked his arms around your thighs, pulling you even closer while he pulled up on the skin above your pussy. “Ahh!,” you moaned out and dug your nails into his scalp desperately. The cowboy groaned deeply, lapping up what poured out of you and soon introducing his fingers to fuck you while his mouth sucked hard at your clit.

You could feel yourself coming undone as his nimble fingers curved to find your spot, fingering you hard. You soon cried out as you climaxed, writhing under his touch and clenching down on his fingers as he stood to face you.

You immediately pulled him into a kiss, pulling your bra down to finally expose your breasts to him. His hands came to squeeze the soft flesh and he pulled away, staring at them lovingly as he chuckled. “What’s so funny?” you asked looking at him while you held onto the backs of his mechanical hands as he squeezed. “I’ve just…been wanting to do this for a very, very long time.”

He pulled himself from his pants and began sliding his thick metallic shaft against your wet folds. “Fuck, I can feel how wet you are? I can’t believe it.” You patted yourself on the back mentally for your ingenuity. You moved to take him by the back of his head for another feverish kiss. He held you close, his metal abs and chest surprisingly warm against your skin. The two of you pulled away from each other with a huff after making out for a few minutes.

“You’re a fucking genius.” he praised and held your face in his hands, your face heating up at the compliment. “Thank you,” you breathed deeply and looked down at his cock that was still teasing you, desperately wanting him inside of you. “I’d love to see what else I’ve improved upon,” you said as you laid back down, opening your legs wide for him. Your hands went to your folds where you collected your slick and moved to tease your bud, “And if you’re any better than something I can manufacture on my own.”

You saw a glint in his eyes as he smiled wickedly. He took your hand from your cunt and along with your other hand, he pinned them over your head. He grunted as he finally entered you, his long hair cascading down on either side of his face as he moved in closer to kiss you.

Those thick eight inches of his robotic cock finally plunged into you, deep. You whined, the sensation feeling so familiar to the “real” thing but so much better. He growled and nipped at your bottom lip, all the while pushing in and out of you slowly.

“You curious about the modes? Or do you just want me at default?” he asked as he let go of your hands. “Surprise me.” You pulled him back to your lips and he kissed you roughly before leaning back up and pulling you towards the edge of the bench.

You watched as he lolled his head back, his body fully reacting to being inside of you. “This what I’ve been missing?” he asked rhetorically, as you propped yourself up on your elbows. “How is it?” you asked, wanting to know if your improvements worked. “Amazing, It’s so warm and tight darlin’.” he hissed as he moved his hands to grab your ankles.

“I mean- ahh!” you were cut off by a particularly hard thrust, “What are you feeling?” you asked and kissed him briefly before letting him speak again. “It feels like every one of my sensors is activating at once, an overall good feeling? I don’t really know how to-” You cut him off to kiss him again, running your tongue over his sharp teeth before pulling away. “That’s okay, it seems like the program is working, fuck!” you exclaimed as his dick brushed over that oh so sweet and toe curling spot inside of you. You looked at him with pleading eyes, “You’re fucking me so good Boothill.”

Lost in the moment and moaning against his lips, you suddenly felt his cock getting warmer inside of you. The sensation filling you with new feelings of pleasure you’d never felt before. “Risky but, fuck that feels so good.” Your words caught in your throat as he thrust into you harder. “Got somethin else for ya.” He practically growled as his cock started to vibrate inside of you.

“Oh fuck!” his pistoning inside of you sped up as you came hard, clenching down on him and causing him to moan out loudly. The cry that fell from his lips was desperate, “Fuck how did you-?!” he couldn’t stop himself as he fucked into you faster and harder, “Get tighter?!” the vibrations along with the almost brutal pounding he was giving you brought you over the edge again and this time your juices squirted all over him.

He slowed down and pulled out of you, your essence slick on his shaft and spilling out of you onto the bench. You whimpered as he pumped his fingers into you, your cunt still extremely sensitive. “And you think what I’ve got between my legs is dangerous.” He said with a smile before bringing you to stand on your wobbly legs, re-entering you from behind and meeting your lips as you turned to look back at him.

Boothill gained that sane speed from before within seconds, his cock at default as he chased whatever high he could find. “You doin ok doll?” His voice seemed so sweet and gentle against the lewd and messy sounds of his harsh backshots into you. He then pulled you further onto him by grabbing a fistful of your hair. “Yessshmmmmmuhh, its- hmmssofuckiggood.” You babbled gibberish as your response to him, just scratching at the the cold slab below you. He fucked into you faster and faster, your pussy clenching down on him as you lost yourself in the full body euphoria that overtook you.

Boothill chuckled darkly and pumped into you harder, moaning as his peak neared with every thrust. He let out an almost howl, feeling your tightness around him bringing him over into a sweet, delicious bliss that he could really feel for the first time. “Fuuuck!” he sighed and stuttered against you, leaning over and biting down your neck gently as he “came”.

“Your hard work payed off gorgeous, that was incredible.” He praised as he slowly leaned back and pulled out of you. You turned to him seeing his very satisfied and flushed face, “Incredible is an understatement,” you sighed and reached down to grab your pants, “That was, fucking otherworldly.”

You were about to put your pants back on but he stopped you. “What the hell you doin’ darlin? I’ve only fucked one hole so far,” he looked at you with intense eyes as he moved in closer. “For fuck’s sake Boothill, you’re gonna ruin me for other people!” He smiled that signature pointy smile of his and gave you a kiss on the cheek.“Thats the point.” His voice was alot lower than it usually was, a sultry and sensual tone laced within it.

“Now, on your knees.” You obliged quickly, finally taking off your bra so that you were completely bare before him. You took his cock in your mouth eagerly, looking up at him through your lashes as you took him in fully. You were proud of your work, there was truly no technician out more brilliant and luckier than you in this moment.

Now, if only you could manufacture and program a way to have him ejaculate inside of you…

A/N: i think i blacked out writing this………hes sooooooo…..i will never be normal about him thank you so much hoyo for this rootin tootin hottie 🥴 GODDDDD SAVE A HORSEEEEE!!! 🤧 i also think itd be cute to have other scenarios with him like….him learning how to love someone again and- 😭 idk i just want some angssst and like, a life with him?!?!

[gojinka]

So the monsters are made of energy but melee weapons work on them (you mentioned it in the ask about May)- I'd love to know more about this concept!

I think you said before that deep worldbuilding stuff isn't your vibe so I understand if it's more of a "cause it's cool, next question" but I'm quite fascinated by that little detail and how it works.

No no this is something that’s vaguely important, so I do have some more info 🫶

Large dangerous bladed weapons are best at destroying monsters, because small pokes tears and even severed limbs can be reattached as long as the source of energy is in contact, aggressively sawing, tearing, and slicing through them in order to wear down the flow of expense… is the best means of downing a monster.

Guns aren’t often used because monsters aren’t as in tune with human tech, and those little pokes don’t feel too bad. Weapons with larger blasts are sometimes used, but because gun powder is dangerous and magic runs so hot, implosions aren’t very liked and cooking off ammo isn’t liked either. Regardless, ranged non-magical attacks go against Monster’s sense of valor, and doesn’t really burn energy, so most shoot outs are dud and end in standstills or forcing them back to hand to hand combat, since the more energy burned = the more vulnerable the monster. Monsters, even without any major damage, if they’re low on expense, they will be more likely to down on very very low damage attacks.

May doesn’t really want to hurt anyone, so they’re happy with the light weight sword they have. Unlike Bylkaff’s Lightbane and Miaullyx’s Detonator (their respective weapons)

**there’s an odd typo above on the blood splatter segment, pretend new use is “because” lol.

[goldenraeofsun]

got a bone to pick

“I can’t believe you,” Lois seethes as she slams the door behind her, her chandelier earrings quivering. 

Clark sighs. “It’s really not that big of a deal.”

Lois whirls around. “It is!” she pokes him, hard, in the chest, right below his lopsided, droopy bow tie. “You are a damn good reporter, and I will punch anyone who says otherwise right in the face.”

Clark’s shoulders slump even further, which Lois didn’t know was even possible. “I know. You nearly did.”

“You shouldn’t have held me back!”

“Lois,” Clark says patiently, “it was a fundraiser for Metropolis’ group homes. I couldn’t let you start a fight in front of literal children.”

“Oh, gimme a break. They’re orphans. They’ve definitely seen worse.”

Clark exhales a deep breath. “And why would I possibly let you add to their trauma?”

“To defend yourself! To defend your reputation!” Lois fumes as she stalks past him to yank open his refrigerator door. The chilled air wafts over her, but it does nothing to cool her burning rage. She skips the vegetables, jars of condiments, her favorite white wine Clark buys when she stays over. 

Her stomach growls. The fundraiser, glitzy and full of glamor, was full of on-trend bite-sized canapes and entrees that consisted of three slices of perfectly seasoned beef, artfully shredded greens, and two orange wedges. Oh, she would kill for hamburger right now, assuming Clark was out of the picture since he’d probably stop her from doing that too.

She tosses a half-empty pizza box in the general direction of the counter. It lands with a thud. 

“My reputation is just fine, thanks,” Clark says evenly. “Yours, on the other hand…”

“Is also fine,” Lois says scathingly, “because you didn’t let me beat the crap outta him.”

Clark tugs his bow tie loose. “Have you ever heard the advice, ‘pick your battles wisely’?”

Jesus Christ, what the fuck is he doing, parroting fortune cookies at her? She viciously throws open the lid of the pizza box, snarling, “Everyone knows the correct answer is always, D) all of the above,” and grabs the largest slice left. 

Half the cold cheese stays stubbornly behind, attached to the rest of the pie. Fucking laws of inertia. 

Lips pressed tightly together like he’s trying not to burst out laughing, Clark leans over and gently eases a new slice free. The cold, congealed cheese stays in its perfect, pre-cut triangle shape. “This might be a metaphor,” he says as he swaps slices with her.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lois huffs before she stuffs her mouth with pizza.

Clark sighs as he reaches over to surgically separate the extra cheese from the pie and reattach it to Lois’s first attempt. “I feel like you’ve also never heard the saying, ‘you catch more flies with honey than vinegar’.”

She rolls her eyes. “Heard it. Didn’t care for it.”

Clark chuckles. “I’m not surprised.” He takes a bite of pizza, chewing thoughtfully. “While I… appreciate the support, you don’t need to fight my battles for me.”

“Well, someone clearly does, if you’re not going to step up,” Lois retorts, elbows braced on the table, staring him down.

“I’m choosing not to engage,” Clark points out as Lois grimaces. “That’s still a strategic decision, and I need you to recognize that.” 

“Yeah, sure,” she grumbles. “But,” she hesitates, searching for the right words. “Why? The things he was saying about you… if he insinuated those things about my work, my ethics, I would’ve put him in the hospital. Fundraiser and traumatized orphans be damned.”

Clark sighs. “I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can,” Lois says. “I’ve seen those arms you hide under a billion layers, farm boy.”

Clark’s eyes narrow. “That’s exactly why, Lois.”

Lois purses her lips, and she won’t give Clark the satisfaction of saying she really has no fucking idea what he’s talking about. Still, something in her expression must give the game away.

Hesitantly, Clark starts, “I might not look it all the time, but I’m a pretty big guy.”

Lois smirks. “You get stuck in the revolving door every morning like clockwork, buddy. Believe me, I know.”

“So,” Clark plows on, ignoring her entirely truthful if not very nice aside, “if word spreads that I can and will throw my weight around when provoked, my sources will dry up faster than a full harvest during a heatwave.” 

“No, they won’t. Your sources know you,” Lois argues. “They know you’re a good guy. That you wouldn’t throw hands without a good reason,” she rolls her eyes, “unlike certain people in this apartment who will go unnamed.”

Lois almost never pokes fun at herself because it gives others license to do the same, but Clark (hardly ever) makes her the butt of the joke. When he tries, she gives twice as good as she gets. He has never let that stop him, though. Honestly, if he ever gives up ribbing her for good, she will assume he’d been replaced by an alien and will investigate accordingly. 

Clark smiles wryly. “And how many ‘nice guys’ have you really known that turned out to be not-so-nice behind closed doors or when things get a little tough?”

Lois opens her mouth because that argument is a moot point; Clark is practically the paragon of an old fashioned gentleman, minus the sexism and casual microaggressions. But she shuts her jaw with a snap as she mentally answers the question he actually asked with a firm, all of them. Every so-called “nice guy” she’s met has always turned out to have a hidden mean streak. Sometimes it came out with waiters on the third date. Other times it came out after she published a not-so-flattering but entirely factual quote that they said to her face.

Except Clark.

For fuck’s sake, two days ago, Clark apologized to her for the time she cried all over his favorite Smallville High sweatshirt after she bruised her toe kicking his wall. It’d just been one of those days – Superman nearly died saving them all in the morning from Metallo, Perry shot down all her best pitches for her next investigative piece, her AC broke at the hottest point in the day in the hottest week of the year, so she had to migrate to Clark’s place, but he was out running errands, so she waited in his dingy (non-air conditioned) lobby for 20 minutes, and then… she bruised her toe. 

“Okay, fine, but you’re not like that,” Lois counters, tilting her head pointedly at the foot-high dent in the plaster behind her.

“Come on.” Clark jabs his pizza crust accusingly at her. “You have to know how weak that argument is.”

Lois chews mulishly at him. Fuck Clark for being right. 

“Look, I’m not saying I’ll roll over for every Tom, Dick, or Harry –”

“You sure about that?”

Clark glares. “I am not a doormat, Lois.”

Lois’s head jerks up at the tone of his voice. “I’m not saying you –”

“I think you are,” Clark interrupts. He exhales a short, explosive breath, and for a flash, Lois sees that steel-like backbone she’s only read before in his articles. “Just because I’m not as showy with retaliation does not mean I am not incapable of it.”

“Really,” she says dubiously because if there’s anything Lois Lane is good at, it’s needling one Clark Kent. 

He throws her a look like he knows she’s goading him, and he is not falling for it; he is going along with it. “Remember Jay Harrison?”

Lois’s eyebrows rise. She hasn’t heard that name in two years, not after he sued The Planet for libel. Their investigative team, led by Clark, had published an expose on the fraud in his healthcare insurance company. The Planet won (barely), but they all had to tighten their belts for the rest of the year and cut their summer internship program to pay all the legal fees. 

“After – well after everything,” Clark starts awkwardly, “all he had left was the Liberty Building. And everyone knew it was practically crumbling in on himself, but he paid off all the building inspectors, so he got to keep it as collateral for all those loans.”

“Mm hm,” Lois nods along. So far, so boring. But Clark wouldn't be telling the story if it stayed that way.

Clark taps his chin, brow furrowing. “I think you were covering the Vincents’ murder-suicide at the time, but it was a quiet week in terms of giant robots and alien invasions, so I flagged down Superman -"

Lois's eyes nearly bug out of her head.

" - and asked him nicely to mention the Liberty Building in his upcoming speech about Metropolis’s Lead Removal and Compensation Commission. It was filled with the stuff, you know.”

Lois says, genuinely surprised, “You got Superman to help? I – I didn’t think you were that close to him.”

Clark shrugs. “I’ve written about him a fair bit.”

“Unwillingly,” she points out. Clark always complained the loudest when he got assigned Superman stories, in sharp contrast to Cat, who squealed at a pitch wholly unbefitting a woman her age with that much cleavage spilling out of her shirt. As if Superman could be swayed by a push up bra and strategically placed bronzer.

(Lois tried that her second week with zero results)

Clark rolls his eyes and folds his slice of pizza in half for easier eating. “He can be useful. At times.”

Lois yanks the slice right out of his hands and stuffs as much of it in her mouth as she can. “No pitha for Ooperman hatahs.”

“I just said he was useful!” Clark protests with a small smile as he steals the rest back.

Lois, preoccupied with not spraying the counter with masticated dough and sauce, lets it go with a glare.

Clark takes a large bite and swallows. “Anyway, the Commissioner of the Department of Buildings turned out to be a massive Superman fan. He could probably give you a run for your money, Lois –”

“Doubtful.”

“ – so he was more than happy to take Harrison’s money and condemn his building. What was Harrison going to do, sue him for breach of bribery?”

Lois whistles. “And that’s why we haven’t heard anything from Jay Harrison since.”

“He officially declared bankruptcy ten months ago,” Clark says matter-of-factly.

“Hang on, I think I did hear about that,” Lois says, the memory tugging at her. “He had to leave Metropolis, right?”

“Sold everything he owned,” Clark says with a satisfied nod. “And then I –” He coughs. “And, well, that was that.” He polishes off the rest of his pizza, a faint pink spreading across his cheeks.

Lois’s eyes narrow. “What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing my ass, Smallville. Spit it out.”

Clark sighs. He leans both elbows on her counter, back bowing. “I’m not proud of it.”

Lois leans in, a shark-like grin tugging at her mouth. “Well, now you have to tell me.”

“I might’ve… stolenhisdog.”

“You what?” Lois splutters, loud, surprised laughter spilling from her lips. 

Clark hangs his head. “Harrison had no money, no property, was driven out of his city, but - but it was my first time directing the investigative team, and then he had to go and get us all tangled up in that awful court case when he could have ridden the bad press out. Instead, he dragged the entire Planet down with him.”

“So, you figured the only logical thing to do, when a man is down, is to steal his dog?” Lois asks, thoroughly amused.

Clark nods. “She was one of those fancy hypoallergenic ones. And just before he was about to leave town, Ma mentioned that the Cushings down the road were having a devil of a time finding a pet for Sophie, and, well…” He drifts off, clearly ashamed.

Lois leans back, surveying Clark in a whole new light. “You petty son of a bitch,” she breathes.

“Lois,” Clark pleads, now a deep shade of maroon.

“I don’t think I’ve ever liked you more, Kent,” she says smartly as she turns to open the refrigerator.

Clark scrubs his hand down his face. “I’m a terrible person.”

She brandishes the wine aloft and kicks off her heels. “Okay,” she says as she scurries around the counter to tug Clark off his seat. “You and me, we’re gonna have an old-fashioned sleepover. I’m gonna count that dognapping story as your truth.” She drags him in the direction of his bedroom, where she’s currently sleeping since he insisted on taking the couch.

“Lois,” he protests, even as his feet follow hers down the short hallway. “Aren’t we a bit old for sleepovers?”

She glances over her shoulder, making her violet eyes nice and big. “But, Clark, I’m an army brat. I never got a real sleepover growing up.”

He falters because he might say he’s some big bad reporter, but she can always play him like a fiddle. “I… fine.”

Lois punches him in the shoulder. “That’s the spirit. Now, how about a dare?”

Read Part III here!

Head back to Part I here!

[lipglossanon]

October 27th

Kink: Sex Toys

Pairing: Frankenstein!Leon S. Kennedy x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, sex toys, monster Leon, scientist reader, removable dick (so heads up lmao), dirty talk, teasing, kissing, unprotected sex, creampie

not proofread

He points a discolored finger at the screen. 

“They really never get these kinds of things right,” he blows out a breath of air that flutters his fringe. 

“It’s just a movie, Leon,” you coo at him, laughter in your voice. “Besides, does it really matter?”

“It might,” he huffs, crossing his arms and putting his biceps on display. 

Your eyes rove over his patch quilt body. Some may call you a mad scientist, but you like to think you’re just enlightened. Besides, if you had listen to those ingrates at the college you would never have ventured off to work on your own experiments, stumbling across the greatest scientific marvel of the eons. 

Leon had been hiding away in some dilapidated shack in a forest far from any civilization. He’s stitched together of various body parts, but overall seems to have most of his original body intact. It’s been a learning experience for both of you—one that’s tipped over into a relationship. 

It’s strange, but it works. Not to mention, the fun things you can do with a man whose body essentially functions as sentient body parts. Fidgeting in place, your thighs press together at the memory of last time Leon let you play around with an idea.

You tug on his arm and his attention swings from the tv over to you. Biting your lip, you drag your fingernail down his forearm. 

“Can we?”

His eyes light up and he grins, “Here or the bedroom?”

“Here, please,” your eyes drop to his lap. 

Wasting no time, his hands reach down to undo his pants, shimmying in place until he can kick them off. He’s half hard but quickly fills out, cock stiff and fat as he strokes himself once.

“You gonna work for it?”

“Uh huh,” you nod your head, eyes glued to his dick while he shifts in place.

With another low grunt, he’s able to remove his cock. The first time it threw you off so much, you stopped everything to study how it worked separate from his body. It’s basically a dildo until it’s reattached to his body once more. He can feel a faint trace of pleasure, which you still haven’t figured out how that works, so you cockwarm him often. 

Standing up, you quickly shed your clothes, standing nude in the living room as the tv blares some classic monster movie in the background. Sitting back on the couch, you press your back to the armrest so your body is facing out toward Leon.  

He places his cock in your outstretched hand, hissing when you press your lips to the tip. Lathing your tongue around the head, you suck him into your mouth before pulling his dick put with a wet pop. Dragging his cock down between your breasts, you watch him track the path you take. You slap his thick length against your soaked slit before grinding the head on your puffy clit. 

“Please,” he groans. “Let me see you stuff your pussy full of my cock.”

Whining in your throat, you do just that. Notching the head of his dick at your drippy hole, you slowly push his cock into your cunt. You both moan as his fat dick spreads you open, filling your pussy. You want to tease him, drag out this heavy tension until he can’t take it anymore, but that’s just not possible. 

He feels way too good inside you—and with the way he’s watching, your belly burns hot with arousal, pussy soaking his cock as you pull it back out to thrust it back in deep. 

“Oh fuck, Leon,” you whimper, head rolling back and forth while you fuck yourself on his dick. “You feel so good in my pussy.”

“Fuck,” he pants, scooting closer to you on the couch. “Is that fat pussy having to work extra hard so I’ll fit?”

“Uh huh,” you mewl. “It’s so big.” 

“Yeah? Need some help?”

You really did want to drag it out but—

“Please,” you sigh, pussy clenching around his cock. “It’s not gonna fit.”

“Aww,” he murmurs. “It’ll fit, you just need me to force it in, don’t ya?”

Nodding rapidly, you whine, “Oh god, yes.”

He bats your hand away and grips the base of his cock. Grinding it against your snug walls, he pulls it out, watching your needy hole clench around nothing. Sitting back, he reattaches his cock and then pulls you over into his lap. 

He bullies his cock back into your cunt and you squeal, pussy and clit throbbing at his rough treatment. 

“Ride me, show me how much you love this cock in your tight hole.”

“Yes, yes,” you gasp, hands gripping his shoulders as you hump your pussy down onto his dick. 

You can’t stop bouncing in his lap, fat cock stretching you open so wide it hurts but in the best way. It makes you even wetter knowing your pussy will be sore and achy tomorrow. Shuddering, you drop down heavily, the drippy tip of his dick kissing your womb and making you squeal. 

“Good girl, taking me in so deep,” he grips your neck and brings you in to a messy kiss, tongue lapping against yours.

His calloused thumb presses into your clit and begins to rub in circles. Keening, you claw at his chest, orgasm cresting higher and higher until it finally breaks. You cry out against his lips, pussy clamping down on his cock while your body judders in his hold. 

He doesn’t let up on your clit and it sends white hot zaps of pleasure throughout your body. Leon keeps you bouncing on his lap, fucking his cock deep against your cervix until he finally stills with a loud groan. Gasping wetly, your walls flutter and milk his dick, feeling as he floods your hole with hot, thick spurts of cum. 

Slumping against him, Leon pets your sides and hips, grunting as your pussy grips and pulses around his half hard cock. 

He snorts a laugh and when you shoot him a curious look, he says, “That’s definitely one thing that’s not in those old horror films.”