#or simply:

[lieutenant-sarcastic]

For Years my brother has been fucking with me by periodically texting me to say Jimmy Carter had finally died. Today the bit has paid off.

The response to my reaction at work was “what do you MEAN ‘for real this time’?????”

I fucking hate it here I’m crying

[tallsuperstar]

Breaking my several year harry potter silence just to say that in the Apollo Justice Trilogy, they removed the harry potter reference they originally had in the game. Which means that if you still consume hp content and talk about it, you are doing worse than fucking capcom

[bookwyrminspiration]

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

[an-adhd-infested-nerd]

Let’s bask with mama

[zannolin]

people often think i'm doing it for the bit but unfortunately i Am the type of guy who just says shit like "pray tell" and "indeed" and "naught but the human heart can hope to capture the moon's beauty" (that was actually about my shitty phone camera) and nobody really knows what to do when they hear those words come out of my mouth. myself included.

[luetta]

[crabussy]

"dolphins are completely evil" I actually don't think we should assign human morality to animals with no concept of law or civilisation with an intelligence roughly equating to that of a toddler

[entnoot]

Éowyn, disguised as Dernhelm, among the Riders of Rohan ⚔️

Based on Eugéne Grasset’s “Jeanne chevauchant au milieu des hommes d’armes” (1894)

[ofswordsandpens]

idk why people get super pedantic about the movie logic in Home Alone and start and try to pick it apart, because like, its a Christmas movie about a child accidentally being left home alone, the premise isn't exactly asking us to suspend our disbelief that much, and yet nearly every single "gotcha" question I see people bring up about this film is literally answered within the first 15 minutes :/

[daily-crabbys]

This Friday's meme is: the perfect being

[thirtysixsavefiles]

few things more humbling than the realization that you really do write the same fic(s) over and over again

[valtsv]

"objectively physically attractive but in possession of negative rizz" is one of my favorite character concepts. i think it's so great when there's an absurdly hot person who's just a complete fucking loser. the mood is unsalvageable the moment they open their mouth kind of deal. you get no bitches because you're so sucks.

[batcavescolony]

Bruce: *is dead again*

Dick: well this s-

Tim: *carrying a go bag* I can't believe this! I'm gonna put a tracker on him when I- oh hi Dick.

Dick: ...you don't think he's dead?

Tim: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANYONE DIED! ok Alfred but at this point I think he's using this as a vacation from us but PAST THAT! Who ACTUALLY dies? Superman 'dies' every few years, Bruce keeps 'dying' hell YOU 'die' sometimes. Obviously Jason, Damian, Cas, Steph have all 'died', my friends have'died',BUT THEY COME BACK! everyone. comes. back. I'll be back when I find Bruce for the THIRD TIME! *slams door*

Alfred: *walking into the room* he's not wrong. Tea?

[helen--richardson]

"The best part of being fat is being soft and comfy to cuddle with" "The best part of being fat is knowing people like you for your personality and not your looks" Wrong. The best part of being fat is getting to swim in ice-cold water for FAR longer than my peers. My skinny friends can barely last 10 minutes in the pacific ocean without losing feeling in their fingers meanwhile i can be in there for HOURS. I was born to swim in glacial lakes and icemelt streams. Also I float.

[carefulzombie]

everyone always acts so aghast about the whole “the doctor kidnapped his first companions!” thing which yeah obviously terrifying from ian and barbara’s pov but you really gotta look at it from the angle of “guy who just ran away from home comes across someone breaking into his car and in a panic locks the doors hits the gas and now they’re all very very lost” and then it becomes hysterical